ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 15 2019

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

Blackcaps Marty Guptill and Jimmy Neesham are in studio ahead of the cricket world cup, doing things by yourself and what were you to old for?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Bit sloppy there from you. Welcome to the show. Old slops. Slops on the buttons this morning. Blaming other people for his sloppiness. Sloppies on the buttons. Are you wearing eyeliner this morning, Vaughan? Look at me. Ma nonu. Yeah, okay. So.

Ma nonu. Actually, this is interesting. I think you need to wing it out. You need to wing it out a wee bit. Because soon we're going to talk about how much rugby players get paid to do Instagram posts. And the reason it looks like I'm wearing eyeliner is a paid Instagram post, not for eyeliner. Right. But I want to know how much these rugby players are getting paid

because I put myself on the line for one. You do. You put too much effort in. Yeah, I know. Silly old me, not wanting everything that's an ad to look like an ad. Just take a photo of some food or something and put it on. Isn't that what you do? Yeah, hashtag spawn.

But no, I've gone all out and, well, Sade's not stoked. My eyes look like I'm wearing eyeliner. That's nice. And did I mention Sade's not stoked? All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. I've found three news headlines. Quirky, odd, unusual news stories.

Oft hilarious. Or weird. Vaughan and Megan, you pick one of the following three headlines. The others we never find out about. It's a harsh reality of story time. Headline one, Tina asks Reddit for legal advice. Headline two, face of Jesus spotted in tree trunk.

And headline three, man finds nugget. Oh, the man finds the nugget. The family go from Mother's Day walk that found that $36,000 gold nugget. Yeah.

But wasn't it like a soccer ball or was it a bit smaller? No, it was like... It's not how I imagine a gold nugget would look like. It would look dirty. I wouldn't even pick... I'd be like, oh, what's that? I'd have been like, that's a cute little clay rock? No, it was like... It's not how I imagined a gold nugget would look like. It would look dirty. I wouldn't even pick...

I'd be like, oh, what's that? I'd have been like, that's a cute little clay rock. Yeah, it did look clay-ish. It was gold mixed in with other stuff. That's the thing about gold. You've got to melt it down and take out the impurities. Because when I saw the size of it, I was like, that's got to be worth more than that.

But then they said how it was not pure. Heaps of rock. Yeah, right. It's like when I used to put rocks in my aluminium cans for recycling. Because they did it on a wake. Or sand.

Probably why they don't do that anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was entrepreneurial. Well, it was the start of a white collar crime spree that could not

be stopped and has still left a scar on the economic side of Taranaki. So the Reddit question then, right? Because Jesus has just been, his face has been found. People find him in toast and all kinds of things. Yeah, they do.

Is it good though? Does it actually look like? Nah, not really. Nah, yes. It's a stretch. They're really hoping it's Jesus in a tree. Well, one then. Okay, the Reddit. Teen, one then. Okay.

Story number one. Teen asks Reddit for legal advice. Well, this is quite a story. We go to Alaska now where an Alaskan teen is on Reddit seeking legal advice after his parents set up security cameras in his bedroom and bathroom. Why did they do that? Well, his dad stormed into his room one night, Vaughn. Yeah.

And caught him... Playing with himself. Playing with himself. But then what's the... That's surely just a... What did you expect to find? Yeah, a teenage boy. A teenage boy.

That's a given, isn't it? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, he then posted on Reddit, Hi, I'm 15 and I think I should be allowed to touch my own body. This is embarrassing and destroys my privacy. What can I do? He apparently found, the next couple of days after his dad busted him, a delivery, an online delivery that contained webcams.

And yeah, they've put them up. There's a picture here as well. Here's a picture. Kind of like cable tied. They look like cheap knockoff GoPros or something. You need to do what now? I don't know if you're familiar with the movie. I know we all are.

Maybe some younger listeners aren't familiar with the movie Speed with Keanu Reeves. Right. Who's just such a great guy. Oh, I know what you're going to say. Oh, God, I can't wait for John Wick 3. Oh, did you see what he said on Stephen Colbert? No, what did he say? They said, because Stephen Colbert is a Catholic, he said,

you, Keanu Reeves, what do you believe happens to us when we die? And he says, and Keanu Reeves takes a moment and then says, well, I know that the ones that love us most will miss us a lot. Oh, my God. And just in that, like, really quaint Keanu Reeves relaxed. He's the best. It's because you know he's had such a sad past. He's had a hell of a life.

He has used it to put so much good into people's lives. Remember before John Wick when I used to say how much I love Keanu Reeves and everyone thought I was crazy? And then John Wick came out and now everybody wants to love Keanu Reeves. No, it's because I researched what he's done and his past and things. He's a great man. What were we talking about? Oh, this Tane.

Oh, no, Speed. The movie Speed. The movie Speed, they basically take a section of video from the security camera. And loop it. And loop it. Yes. So they don't know that they've stopped the bus and got out. Or on other things, they take a photo from beside the security camera of the room

and then get popsicle sticks and put them in front. So it looks like he's watching the room, but he's just watching a photo of the room. He just put Blu-Tack over the lens. They're not live monitored, so the parents will be going over the footage at the end of each day to make sure that he's not playing with himself. What the hell? Why?

Who's got this much time? I don't know. But apparently, like, Reddit have really stepped up and all these, like, legal advocates and people are helping him out. But they can't have cameras in every room of the house, right? No. Yeah, find one where they don't. She's thinking over here.

She's doing some great thinking. That's a good point. Yeah. Hey, Mum and Dad, is there a camera in the laundry? Just out of interest. It doesn't say, but I imagine there's some kind of religious upbringing or family situation here. Maybe. Because are they not for that, eh?

Not all of them. Some are very for it. Are you just saying that because you were brought up in a Catholic household? No, no, no. They're very not for it. It's called the sin of impurity. And like when you go to that confession thing and you have to say your sins. So you've got to say how many times?

Well, you could say that you just committed the sin of impurity. Impurity, is that what it's called? Do you have to say that to like a priest or whatever? Yeah. He's probably loving that. Tell me more. Statistically, if you go to enough. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

You may wonder how much your favourite sports people get paid to do Instagram posts, like hashtag spawn posts. Well, there's an online calculator from Influencer Marketing Hub called the Instagram Money Calculator, and you put in who you like, and then basically it works out by their followers a formula of how much money they get paid to do an Instagram post.

This is great, because you know I'm launching my Slim T soon, and I need some celebrity influencers. Well, I don't know if your Slim T's going to have the budget straight off the mark. Oh, but I am going to invest in my product. Well, that's very, very important. Very, very important.

But they put some rugby players in by followers and how much they could have expected were getting paid per post. This was New Zealand dollars. Okay. Reading more about this, I think this is well under shooting. Right. You think it'd cost more? Way more.

Okay. Dan Carter on Instagram, Dan Carter underscore, doesn't need our help. He's got 910,000 followers. So he's nearly a million. 90,000 off a million. Yeah. And they think he would only be getting paid $5,000 per Instagram post.

No way. Way more. Nearly a million followers. Way more. If he's only getting paid that, his agent needs a kick in the ass because he's well understanding it. Sonny Bill Williams is second, putting that in. His 745,000

followers would equate $4,000 for an Instagram post. Again, though, you're reaching a lot of people. That's quite cheap. I don't know if that is right. They'd be getting paid more by their sports contracts to... wouldn't be worth

their time, would it? And then this article that I'm reading obviously doesn't know a lot about how Instagram works. It was probably written by one of the sports writers upstairs. So bloody, what do they bloody need that for?

This time they spent on their phone taking pretty photos of themselves. They should be out doing pushups and chucking balls. But they're saying, so on that calculation, he would have made $200,000 this year alone off a Instagram post, which he may very well have made,

but they're saying it's from his 45 photos posted since January. Now, he's not getting paid for every photo that he posts. No. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a well-researched article, does it? No. He's getting paid for the ones that say hashtag ad or hashtag spawn or... Yeah, like that mention specific products. And I'm imagining he's getting paid significantly more than $5,000 per post

for nearly a million followers. What kind of stuff are they posting? Like, have they done any ad kind of stuff? Yeah, do they do slim tea or like... I've seen Dan Carter do a watch one before. Oh, okay. I know that he's done a watch one. Was it a fancy one? Ah, let me tell you, I've just Dan Carter do a watch one before. Oh, okay. I know that he's done a watch one. Was it a fancy one?

Let me tell you, I just found it. Yeah, it was, no, that was, oh, he was in an Italian Esquire, the Italian version of Esquire. Oh, la, la. Magazine. Is that a coffee shop? His watch is front and centre. No.

Esquires? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Right. That's a coffee shop. Has he bought a franchise? He may have invested wisely. People love to's it. Right. That's a coffee shop. Has he bought a franchise? He may have invested wisely. People love to drink coffee. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, mostly it's maybe he's got to deal with the sports teams that he plays for, that he posts a certain amount with their logo and such in it, and he'd have ongoing sponsorships with sports brands. But he doesn't get paid for every single post. Maybe we could chip in. Like do a fundraiser. CrowdFud. CrowdFud.

Yeah, that's a budget version of crowdfunding, Megan. CrowdFud. Yeah, CrowdFud. It's.com. They couldn't get crowdfunding.com. They just went for CrowdFud. CrowdFud. Yeah, maybe we could CrowdFud some money.

And then, I don't know, take an idea and then buy an ad with Dan Carter. Yeah. He could be like, hey, everyone, listen. Listen to the show or something. Maybe we should invest in influencers. All the... Who can we get? That's not too expensive.

What, like a cheap one? Yeah. Like a mum blogger. Nah, because they go to, they're just doing too many. You get lost in the, you just get lost in the overflow. Between the Kmart and the... Yeah, everything else. I was doing a post yesterday.

I occasionally do posts with my girls. Yeah. And they make, yeah, they've got some money set aside for that. Because you do this for them so that they can, it goes in their savings. Yeah, yeah, so they can go to uni. Does dad get a cut? Dad gets a cut. Dad's executive producer.

See, you're too good to them. I'd be taking all of this. No. I give them 10%. You're too good to your children. You give them a roof. You feed them. They're not cheap.

Kids aren't cheap. You're putting all of that in the family fun. You're creative director. You're feed them. They're not cheap. Kids aren't cheap. No, no, no. This is the family fun. You're creative director, you're executive producer, you're director. But I've got nothing. Editor. I can't peddle anything without them. They're the cute that does the selling.

They did it right. But we did one for, I'll let the cat out of the bag, we're doing one for Aladdin, the new Aladdin movie coming out. Yeah. And that's why I've got blue eyeliner and my shower's covered in blue. Sade's very unhappy. There's blue on the carpet and blue on the walls. What did you put on yourself?

Paint? Blue face paint. Oh, right. Yeah. All over. The Blue Man Group. You look like the Blue Man Group. I look like a member of the Blue Man Group, yes.

I look like Tobias Funke from Arrested Development when he auditions for the Blue Man Group. Being that I'm bald and have a moustache, I look a lot like Tobias Funke from Arrested Development when he auditions for the Blue Man Group. Being that I'm bald and have a moustache, I look a lot like Tobias. Yes, it was not lost on me, but it was everywhere. Now I've just got to get that approved by the client. And if it's not approved, well, I don't know what happens. So if that never sees the light of day, then...

Oh, it will. It definitely will. Even if they say, no, we absolutely want no association with your Aladdin genie slash Papa Smurf look, I'm going to say tough luck. With your genie appropriation. Yeah, there was that too. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Spoiler alert. If you have not seen the latest episode of Game of Thrones, I'm going to talk about it now. Okay? But come back. But come back. How long do we give them? Just a minute.

Just go and brush your teeth. What are people doing this Sunday? Go and... What have you already in... Anyway. It's rubbish day. Oh, yeah. Put the bins out.

Put the bins out and then come back. For you, not for me. It's not rubbish day. Well, it's not my rubbish day either, but it's somebody's rubbish day, isn't it? I assume they don't take Wednesdays off. Okay, so we're going to talk about things that happened in the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

You have been warned if you haven't watched it. Okay, so a lot of people are feeling hurt and upset by the turn of events. Daenerys Khaleesi, she did something she said she would always, well, she would never do. They're calling her the Queen of the Ashes now because she just absolutely went to town on King's Landing. And a lot of people are upset because they didn't want this to happen.

Everybody overnight has become a storyteller and a show writer. But it just was jarring. It went from like, you're having awesome time. It happened too quickly. We're rushing this season. Yeah. This build up would have been great if she'd gone around Westeros

trying to help people and even her best intentions people didn't want her and people were like fawning over John. That's happened so minimally that it's not given enough reason. Like she hasn't... Did you not see her standing at the window with like frazzled hair and her makeup off?

Because she hadn't eaten. That was your indication. So she's hangry and she burns an entire city to the ground. She looked tired and frazzled. So that was your indication. So a clinical psychologist has weighed in on this. Now, it's called parasocial relationships. That is what we feel when we feel something so deeply for a character. And

these can help fans feel less alone in their mental health struggles. They can inspire hope and create dialogue about trauma and recovery. So seeing a person like her come from an abusive childhood experience, violence, assault, tragedy, it can inspire many

other trauma survivors, even in the smallest form in your life, and especially women to understand and process their traumas as well. So for many fans, especially women who might identify with her, in terms of being a survivor, the sudden change can be confusing and emotionally distressing. The story arc can appear to take away from agency that many trauma survivors

may develop through parasocial relationships. So you literally watch her and you feel like you identify with her struggle. Right. And that she can survive. She can be a champion. She can get through it and do amazing things with her life.

And that's why we feel betrayed. You don't know how to process it because it's literally gone, not the way that you hoped. It's not even that. It's just poor storytelling. Like everything else. I mean, I'm not disagreeing with you. If you'd kind of like seen the change and there'd been more reflection

upon like what happened to her dad and everything, like it just would have been – it's all about taking your time. Everything else in Game of Thrones has taken a season to happen. I am just annoyed. We built the women up. We built the women up the whole time. Then we had such strong, awesome characters. And then so many of them have cried.

But then she got hangry and turned into a bitch. Very real life. Yeah. No. If my wife had a dragon and it was like 11 o'clock on a Saturday morning and she had an eight and she'd torch the whole village as well. Do you know why that was? So would Fletch.

I would always, oh my god I'd absolutely torch. Fletch, when you know that scene in the latest Game of Thrones where she's sitting on the wall waiting for the bell to ring, Fletch should have been like, I've waited long enough, torch the city! Oh, she waited way longer than I would have. They would have been like, we had to run up and ring the bell! Fletch is like, I've waited long enough. Torch the city. She would have been flying over there and would have been like, we had to run up and ring the bell. Fletcher's like, I waited. I'm very

busy. I've got an afternoon full of things to do. And I'm very hungry. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello. That almost sounded a bit John Campbell.

Hello there. Marvellous. No, lost it. Avocado now comes on a stick. Do we need it? Probably not. And you know what? Actually, no, because it's just more plastic junk, isn't it?

It is, yeah. Because at the end of it, it's probably only the equivalent of one avocado. But at the end of it, you're left with this plastic thing. And how sad is it they've just done the deepest dive in the world. And they found a plastic bag. Yeah, they found, and lolly wrappers

at the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean humans have ever gone to. I mean, obviously it was a man's, it was an unmanned submarine, wasn't it? Or was it a man? No, there was a man in it. There was a man in it. Yeah.

It's what made it so remarkable. But it's the deepest. Oh, that's disappointing. What have we done? Was there any branding on the place? I know. I don't know. What kind of lollies was it?

No, I think it was just white. They didn't say what kind of lollies. But yeah, how sad is that? I know. They were like, oh, we're going to find some new species. When they're like lollies and like fruit bursts, they're like, oh, God. And then it comes up and it's like a fruit burst, like, oh, it's not us. Are they placing them over waxy paper, aren't they?

Yeah, a waxy paper. Herds. Barley sugar. I don't think they're branded, though. Okay. Well, we're looking at all of y'all. Well, the top six other things we need on a deodorant stick

because effectively that's what it is you wind the bottom and a bit more avocado comes out it's avocado on a stick. I don't know this must have

some preservatives in it to stop it going brown because if you're anything like me you cut open an avocado and you like leave it on the bench while you use half

on toast and then you come back and you're like what happened to you and the other half has just been like I'm brown now. I'm soft and I'm starting

to go a little bit funny. Is half of this deodorant stick like stone as well? Like do you... No. No stone. No stone. Just a little stick at the bottom.

Oh, lovely. So the top six other things we need on a deodorant stick. Number six, honey. It would be great for a wipe. A wipe of honey. Right, right. On toast.

A little bit of that. Wipe the honey around there. Number five on the list of the top six other things we need on a deodorant stick. Ice. As long as it could stay frozen. So you could just cool your skin. Yeah, you're out and it's hot and you're like, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe. Cool that off.

Are those just called ice cubes? Yeah, I know, but then you can wind it back down and put it back in your purse. But the trick is keeping it frozen. Or your back pocket. But your back pocket's a warm spot. Megan has a purse. I don't have a purse. I don't have that.

You don't call it a purse. I have a wallet. Megan, can I put my ice on a stick in your purse? I don't have a purse. I don't have a purse. I pass. Can you just chuck this in your purse? Here's a...

We should do this. We should get Woman Yeah Women Women Women Women To tally up

The amount of times Their partner asks them To chuck something In their purse Every day Or they just Absolute like Stick your hand in

And weigh you down As they chuck everything Yeah I love that I love not even asking The zip's open You just grab everything You pull it open You just dump all your stuff in and you shut it.

When she shut it, she's like, what did you put in there? I'm like, everything. I'm about to sit down. I need to be at the height of comfort. Number four on the list of the top six other things we need on a deodorant stick are gel. Any sort of gel. Just because if you ever push gel through holes and it goes,

and it looks really cool. That's basically we just wanted one that looked cool. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six other things we need on a deodorant set

car paint. Like oopsie little scratch in the car park. Just a little dab dab dab. They should sell that when you buy a car

so it's specific to yours. They do. My dad when he bought his You get a touch up pen. Ford back in 2002 that he's still got. And he cleans it every week.

But yeah. It was like a little nail polish of exactly the same colour. I guess we'd know that if we bought Newcastle's. Every time we got there, it's like, and all the scrapes

start to show again. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things that we need on a deodorant stick, dog food. Like imagine you're out with your dog and it looks at you and you're like, someone want a little

treat. You pull out the little thing, you're like, wind, wind, wind and the dog's like, lick, lick, lick. You're like, that's enough. Click back on. Just a little taster. Just to remind them who their favourite is. In case there's any sort of like wandering at the dog park. Sure. I always get insulted when our dog will go up and talk to somebody else at the dog park.

I'm like, right in front of him? Rude. Excuse me? And number one on today's top six other things we need on a deodorant stick,

Nutella. Very hard to make reasonable decisions when you can dig it out with a spoon. Very hard. Yeah. Don't give me the freedom.

Just make it so I can only do a little wipe at a time. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the freedom. Just make it so I can only do a little wipe at a time. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. A South African student got themselves free KFC for about a year. Yeah, and we're certainly not recommending this because they believe he's in prison at the moment.

Yeah, he's in trouble because what he was doing was arriving at KFC, he'd walk in, he'd say he's from KFC head offices and he was running quality control checks. Is this in, where did you say? South Africa. South Africa, okay. He'd walk in, he'd say that to somebody on the... Checkout.

On the till. On the till, yeah. And they would then let him in that little door to the side so he could get back in. They said they believe he has worked at KFC before because he knew heaps about the kitchen. Right, okay. He knew kind of how everything worked.

Mind you, first time he probably didn't, but he probably learned pretty quickly because you imagine walking home from head office, all right, who's manager? All right, well, you run me through how you do it. Yeah. And he had a checkboard and he'd tick things off and then he'd walk around with them for a bit,

talk about everything and then ask for samples of everything. And you don't want to question someone when they say they're from head office. And if they're getting one of everything, they're checking, aren't they? That's quality control. That's so ballsy. So he'd been doing it for a while. They said a year and multiple KFCs, like a lot.

He made himself a fake ID card. Yeah. And because the people working at the store have never seen what ID cards look like at KFC head office, they're just like, I'm sure that's great. He arrived at a limousine one time. And it turns out his friend is a part-time limo driver and had some downtime. Oh, my God. That's so funny.

And he often would eat it in store or take it back. He said, I've got to take this back to the office, obviously, for the quality control. Unbelievable. And he was doing this for a year. Right. We don't know what snagged him. Because this has been shared everywhere and everybody's talking about it.

I've tried to find what was his downfall. But, yeah, I can't yet find out what the deal is. Maybe he went in and head office was actually there. It could have been as simple, yeah. It could have been as simple as someone being like, oh so-and-so, the guy was here from head office. And they're like, sorry, what now? Yeah, or the person from head office actually comes and they're like

how many people from head office are coming this week? He's like, what do you mean? And then that tripped them over. But yeah, he's having a little sit down in jail where I don't believe there is KFC. No. But I feel like this would be one of those Leonardo DiCaprio, you know that Catch Me If You Can?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be a fitting sequel. Right. One guy pretended to be a pilot and flew around the world. One other guy pretended to be from KFC head office and ate free for a year. Dream big, Dream big. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. An American couple, they moved to New Zealand for a slower pace of life.

Okay. Lisa's 58 and Dan's 63. Okay. They've moved to the west coast of New Zealand, and they applied for residency to become New Zealand residents, which is the step before citizens. Yeah. And they were told, she's, by the way,

so she's working from Greymouth as a attorney back in the US. So I don't know if she's like consulting over the internet or what, but she's continued work. And he has opened an audiology clinic. Okay. So, you know, contributing, I guess. But they applied

for residency and they were told they're too old. They're too old for residency in New Zealand. Basically, that works like the amount of tax you pay

throughout your life is supposed to sustain you in your older life when you need more medical care because that's how getting old works. Yeah.

They're saying that, I'm imagining the situation is what they add now won't equal what we have to give them. Yes. Whereas they've paid tax to another country that now they're not at all going to be a burden on. Not that old people are a burden. Old people are a burden. Not that they're a burden.

Can we not do a thing where they like transfer it over here? Well, some of what they paid in tax. Hello, US government. It's New Zealand here. Well, you can. Can't you transfer a pension? You can transfer your pension. Right.

What do they call it? A 401k? 401k something, yeah. Yeah, you can transfer your pensions. And I always see those ads for like the British pension transfer but that's not

the tax that you paid throughout your life towards that yeah right so I'm imagining that's why I'm no expert

that's it but I just really want to use this it's sad though like if they've set up a business here

yeah that's it's kind of like oh got a business going because he's 63 could live for another 20 years

and own that business the whole time. It could be. So, but that's life. I'm not in charge of that sort of thing. Thank God. But imagine if that was your job. What an awful amount of responsibility.

Is denying people like visas and stuff. And you know it's literally out of your control. I know because I'd just be like, all right then. Have you got a family here that loves you or something? All right, you can stay. You want to live on the West Coast? Yeah. I know.

That's the other thing is it's an area with a declining population. Anyway, we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about when someone's told you you're too old for something because that's a little ouchy. She's not even 60. And that's it. You're a bit old. You're a bit old.

Ouch, bitch. How dare you. Back right up. She's not even 60 And that's it You're a bit old You're a bit old Ouch bitch How dare you Back right up I get this all the time Because I'm an adult man Who likes cartoons Reading comics You're too old for that

And people say You're too old for that And then I say things like Well the comics I'm reading Will turn into movies That make billion dollars At the movies So you just calm yourself

Right down Well they haven't spent Enough time with you To work out that your mental age is not akin to your actual age. Thank you very much. Are you taking that as a compliment? Young at brain.

Young at brain. Young at brain. Young at brain. So we want to take your calls, your text messages. When has someone told you you're too old for something? Oh, I got told I was too old for my boyfriend, remember that?

I still do sometimes. Yeah, but now he's your husband so the sentence changed slightly. But no one's said that since you've been married, have they? No. Because it's legal now

or something. Well, it's locked in, isn't it? It's locked in. He's contractually obliged to you. It was always legal. It was always legal. It was always legal. It's just in writing now.

There's a contract. All right, so 0800-DARLESS-AT-M, 9696. When were you told you were too old for something? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. When were you told you were too old for something? Yeah, a US couple of them told they're too old to be New Zealand residents. And I'd imagine they were like, ouch.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch, my feelings. Yeah. Somebody messaged in saying that they were told they were too old for a Happy Meal and they looked at the person in the eyes of McDonald's and said, do you want me to be happy or not? Excuse me?

Age. Happiness knows no age. That's, I never thought that they'd even question you while you're buying a Happy Meal. They're just, they know you don't have a camera. Okay, I want the toy. Because often we'll go through the drive-thru and all I'll order is the Happy Meals for the girls

because I don't get anything. Yeah. And I've never been questioned. But you're ordering two. Yeah. And then you, please order when you're ready, please. Hey, two Happy Meals, please. Do you have kids in the car?

None of your business. Two Happy Meals, I just want both toys. Oh, I want to have a toy. I want to have a book. Oh, we'll spread my bets. So we want to know what you've been told you're too old for. Somebody messaged in saying, in fact,

quite a few messages saying they've been out in clubs and they've been told they're too old by other people in the club, in the club.

In the club. That is so rude. Can you imagine getting your boogie woogie on and in the club. Okay, you're too old to be in the club. You just called it

boogie woogie. Because you're doing the boogie woogie. And someone's like, hey, because everyone's always yelling because the music's too loud. Turn that down. I get another reason I'm too old to be in the club.

I'm constantly like, hey, are you the DJ? Yeah, what song do you want? I just want you to turn it down a bit. I can't hear a damn thing out there. I'm having trouble ordering a beverage because of the loud music. And I don't even know this song. Does it have any words? Oh, my God.

Classic boomer chat. Not only by people in the club, but somebody said they went to go into a very popular franchise bar around New Zealand, and they were told they were too old because this bar is for students, and they were 26 at the time. Ouch. Ouch.

Probably have a bit more disposable income than a student, too, if you spend at a bar. Ouch. Ouch. Probably have a bit more disposable income than a student too who's spending a bar. Yeah, excuse me. Somebody said, I was told to dismount the carousel at Rainbow's End as I was too old

to be on the carousel. And I believe, Claire, that was you. Yeah, that was me. I'm not old, by the way. Right. Were you, because I've been on a carousel

recently, assisting my children to get on and then you just stay on. I was on with my child, for the record. I wasn't like a creepy person at Rainbow's End on my own. I was on with my daughter. Right, I guess they've just got rules. It's kids only.

Yeah, kids only. Yeah, they need to change that, I think, because I was geared up for a seriously good adrenaline rush. What animal were you eyeing up? Like, what were you going to ride around in a circle at a slow motion going up and down? I was on a unicorn. Oh!

Clear. How dare they do that? Clear a unicorn ride. Oh, that's heartbreaking clear. I know. I've passed into the I've never ever category now, haven't I? You're going to have to arrange for me

to go back there. Yes. If they even let us clear, thanks for your call. Angie, what were you told you were too old for? Hi, yeah,

I was told I was too old to order off the kids menu at a restaurant. Excuse me, that's suburb. What comedy show or comedian, was there a skit with this

when they tried to order from the kids menu? But there's no kid. What comedy show or comedian, was there a skit with this when they tried to order from the kids' menu? But there's no kid. But there's no kid. They just want smaller food and it's cheaper. Yeah. I just wanted nuggets and chips. Like, not every woman wants ribs and a steak all the time. Well, Angie, if you came to my cafe,

you're welcome to order off the kids' menu. Yeah, every woman loves nuggets. Yeah. It is really weird when it's like kids' menu, 12 and under, and they've got it written in capital letters under the kids menu part. It's like, do you need my ID? There wasn't at the time. There was, next time I went there was an age limit, but there wasn't when I ordered.

They're like, we'll show this woman. You were so old you instigated a new rule and undervenued. A new precedent, yeah. Brilliant. Angie, thanks for your call. I was told I was too old to hug my dad I'm 33, I don't think you're ever too old to hug your dad What? I don't hug my dad

Who said that? Weird I don't know who told them that, they just said they were told they were too old to hug their dad It was on the Afterlife, someone messaged in Ricky Gervais, wanted to order on the kids menu That's what it was, yes That was the Afterlife which is on Netflix when he takes his nephew out for lunch That's right it was

Somebody else said I was on a work trip in Switzerland. I was told by a work colleague that I was too old to be dancing on tables at a club. I said, I'll show you who's too old to be dancing on the tables. And in my early 40s, I was up on that table. Do you. You do you. You've got to make sure that it's a bar where that sort of thing's appropriate before you just jump up on a table. Somebody else said,

I've been told I'm too old for the playground on multiple occasions, but I'm 36 and I love a ball pit, so what are you going to do about it? There needs to be an adult ball, like a large adult ball pit. I've seen a bar that's got a ball pit.

There doesn't need to be drinking in the ball pit, because that's you spilling your drinks. And then someone will bomb in there. You have to hose that out after every night. Imagine the treasure at the bottom of the ball pit, like keys, wallets, phones. Way better than the odd coin at the bottom of a kid's ball pit. Sure.

News from the UK, change of pace from chips to royal chat. Not about the new baby in the royal chat, but Kate, Duchess of Cambridge. This is weird. She marked the 75th anniversary of D-Day at Bletchley Park. Now, this was where her grandmother was a code breaker. Oh, okay. Her grandmother was quite important during World War II.

She intercepted messages and listened in and broke codes. Yeah, cool, cool job. Yeah. And was apparently quite the dame. So she went along to where her grandmother was based during World War II to celebrate and commemorate the 75th anniversary and the work that a woman did in the code breaking division. However, the weird major news headline out of this

is the dress she's worn that day she's worn it before. And that's the headline. Yeah, the Duchess recycles dress as she visits an exhibition. Recycles? She's worn it twice. This dress is worth 1,700 pounds. So $3,000. Does that equate to a wee roughly about that at the exchange rate?

Just a little bit more than $3,000. And she's worn it more than once and people are like, oh, she's worn this before. It's a $3,000 dress! She should be wearing it 3,000 times. But you know what it's like. How many dresses and outfits are in your wife's wardrobe that she's worn

once? None of them cost three thousand dollars. But still. From that fruit and veg shop that she told me she was buying from. To Cuba. Which I have learnt. This is the reason why we don't want to wear things twice though.

Because everyone judges you. It's so like like, it should. Also, she was at something. This could have been mentioned at the bottom part of the article being like the, hold on, I've got the name of the dress here. No, I don't. Alessandro? Yeah, good work.

Yeah. Alessandro Rich dress. It could have just been at the bottom. Kate photographed here in there, Alessandro Rich. She's getting a value's worth second time. But, yeah, that whole article's supposed to be about celebrating these awesome women who were, like,

code breakers. And the 75th anniversary of the D-Day and she's doing a public outing. But the headline is literally, she's recycling the dress. That's ridiculous. That's sad. I know. Just $3,000. She should be wearing it every day. That should be a practical.

It should be like a school uniform, really. Yes. Yes. And she'd dare and think about getting it dirty because it'll only be washed once a week. And probably, you know, if it's worth $3,000, you'd probably dry clean it. I always say with a dress, it's akin to like a skirt and a top.

So like I could have spent money buying a skirt and a top but this is an all in one outfit. So Wait is this a positive or a negative? It's a positive. So you can spend more on a dress because it's the top and the bottom. How many have you got in your wardrobe that you've worn once? Or none? Or none?

Um None? I don't really want to talk about this. See, this is, everything in my mind is buy a dollar, right? So in my mind, when you buy something, this is how my mind works. You spend $300 on something, that's got to last for at least 300 days.

E.g. a pair of jeans. You would wear those until they are hanging off you with holes and everything. 100%. I buy these shirts and they're $25 retail and I would wear them hundreds of times.

Oh, do you mean you have to wear it 300 times? Yeah. Oh, I think it would last a year. You've got to get your dollar, you divide it by the amount that it costs. I run,

everything's got to be worth at least a dollar a day. And that's not just a dollar a day to hang in your wardrobe. That's a dollar a day to wear and use for the day. And this isn't just clients. In my mind, everything has got to at least

last for a dollar for every day you've got it. So, if you buy a $150 dress, you've got to wear it 150 times. At least. That would have never happened. Never. These boots. What about your wedding dress? Wedding dresses do my head in When I think about

And that's not even a full day That's like 12 hours Yeah And thousands of dollars And then you never wear them again It does my head in Like these boots They were expensive

But I will wear these forever And that's why Sade's Turning her wedding dress Into neck curtains This weekend That would be fun Because we would use them Every single day

The America's Cup Is now New Zealand's Cup net curtains this weekend. That would be fine because we would use them every single day. The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup. What a steam. The Adams. Oh, beautiful connection. Long black celebrating already. Sports Talk. Where we talk about sports!

With the least sporty person on the show, Vaughan Smith. Thanks for having me. Who knows? I'm on the show all the time. We are joined by two special guests for today's sports talk, Jimmy Nation,

Martin Guptill in studio. How are you, lads? Very well, thank you. Listen to this. That's a trophy being put on the table. Oh my God. That's a New Zealand Radio Award for Network Station of the Year for ZM

and that's us. Humblebrag. What year was that? 2017. This is like the best fish and chip shop, 2009. Thinking about the year.

I'll rub that off. What happened last year? That's just saying. Let's put another trophy on the table. It's pretty heavy, isn't it? It is, eh? It's ridiculous.

It's ridiculous how heavy that is. So the Crickle, I don't know. It's radio, so that's just spray trophy on the table. It's pretty heavy, isn't it? It is. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous how heavy that is. So the cricket, I don't know. It's radio, so that's just spray-painted gold. It certainly isn't any valuable metal. Cricket World Cup starts in... What is it now? About 17 days? 17 days.

16 days, Matt. I don't know. 15 days. Something like that. Probably close enough. Yeah. Two weeks, we'll say that. Okay, let's I don't know. 15 days. Something like that. Probably close enough. Yeah. Two weeks, we'll say that. Okay, let's say around two weeks.

In England. Yes. That's it. Is that all we've got? No, I saw you. I just went and Googled like Black Caps World Cup games. For some reason, it showed me every planned ODI you have coming up. I was like, this thing goes forever.

How many games are you guaranteed? Nine. Nine games? Yeah, nine pool games. Okay, nine pool games. How many games do you have to win to win the whole thing? If you win 11 games, you win the World Cup. Nine pool games,

and then you only have to win two more games? And then it's semis and finals, yeah. Oh, semis and finals, and then you've got a World Cup. Yeah. What does the Cricket World Cup look like? Is it big? I've never won

one. I don't actually know. You've seen it though? Do you know what you're competing for? Yeah, I didn't get that close to it last time but

yeah, it's pretty big. It's pretty hefty. It'll embarrass the NZ Radio Awards. The award will embarrass the NZ Radio Awards. Let's not put that on too high a pedestal.

So the last time this happened, it was in New Zealand, wasn't it? Yep. And it was that, what? New Zealand and Australia. But that game at Eden Park

was the really big, the six on the final ball that got us through to the semis. Got us through to the final. To the final. And then we were beaten by

that lot from across the ditch. Australia. Bloody Australia. Are they a big threat in cricket at the ditch. Australia. Bloody Australia. Are they a big threat in cricket at the moment? Australia? Or are they

that shit house? Jimmy, you just played against them last week. Yeah, they've only been good since about, what,

1986? So, yeah, they're pretty good. They're doing alright over there at the moment. They've got a couple of guys back

that have had a break. Even since they've been told they're not allowed to put sandpaper in their pocket anymore, are they still doing alright? Well, time will tell They've got a couple of guys back that have had a break. Even since they've been told they're not allowed to put sandpaper in their pocket anymore. Are they still doing alright? Well, time will tell if that affects them

all that much. Who, apart from Australia, who's the big threat in cricket at the moment? I think England are right up there. They're playing a one-day right now actually

and they're giving Pakistan a good run for their money. There's a lot of teams I reckon. India, I don't think can count Pakistan as well. They're a bloody good side. Western,. There's a lot of teams, I reckon, India. I don't think you can count Pakistan as well. They're a bloody good side. Western, they've got a few players back.

So there's definitely a few options. Who's that team that's just there to make up numbers? Because in the Rugby World Cup, it's always like Georgia. In the Rugby World Cup, there's always a couple. You're like, cute that they came. Yeah, they don't really have that this year because they used to have sort of 14 or 16 teams, but they reduced it just to 10 for this tournament to try and get rid of those games.

So we're certainly not going to say there's a team that's... You've got to play everyone. If you were to put a tag on it, it'd probably be Afghanistan, but they're going to knock over a couple of teams. Right. They're going to be taking a couple of teams down. Because they get some... Was it Afghanistan that get some people over teams down. Because they get some, was it Afghanistan that get

some people over from Pakistan, do they get some other, or do they have to primarily, everybody has to be from Afghanistan? I think they have to be residents or

something along those lines. Right. I mean, I could have a holiday home in Afghanistan. I mean, I couldn't because I'm rubbish

And finally make a World Cup. Yeah, and something. A holiday home in Afghanistan could be a great investment just for my future as well. Now, what would you do to win the Cricket World Cup?

Anything? What would I do if I won it? No, what would you do to win it? Oh, look, I think it's going to be pretty high scoring over there, so the first thing is first you've got to be able to score over 300 with the bat, which if Guppy bats well, then that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

That's what he's a pressure on, isn't it? Zero pressure at all. You've got your hand in a bag here, Vaughan. I'm just worried about what you're going to pull out. You've been around radio people for too long. Jimmy can't actually see that from where he's sitting so I've got a good view of this. What would you do to win the World Cup

with your hand in a bag? This is a sports talk first and maybe a sports talk only, but would you eat your sport? We have these from Eat Crawlers. These are chocolate-coated crickets, and this one is a lightly salted cricket. Shotgun of chocolate. Are you on a special?

I've already got it in my hand. Are you allowed chocolate in the lead-up to the World Cup? Yeah, that's a good point. We're on a strict diet, Vaughn. I'll lead the way. Crunchy. You did that face. It's not salted enough.

Oh, you want more salt? I've got a little bit more salt. Quite dry. It'll take the moisture out of your mouth. More salt or less cricket? They actually call it nature's popcorn. Marty Guptow. Who calls it nature's popcorn?

The people marketing it. The people trying to make money off it. It doesn't taste like anything. It just tastes like chocolate. Did you just eat a chocolate one? Yeah. Well, you've got to eat the salted one now. We've got this milk up in the bag.

It was either chocolate or salted, so I had the chocolate. What do you think, Jimmy Nation? Pretty disgusting. I think I got an eye. Just a little eye. They faced that challenge like it was nothing. You want one? Just don't look at it when you're about to put it in your mouth.

He's got little antennas. Megan? No, I'm fasting. No, no. What a shame. Megan? No, I'm fasting. No. No. Oh, what a shame. I'm fasting. It's the protein of the future. To be honest, a chocolate is...

Yeah, it's not as thick as I thought it would be. No. It's fine. And then you can feel like the legs and stuff in your mouth afterwards. They're still crawling. Right. What are you going to do when rugby comes in and tries to eat this sport? Well, no.

I said it's probably the only one we'll do. Because it's the only... I can't think of any other sport that corresponds with an insect or a food. An insect or a creature or a food or anything. So when do you leave New Zealand? Sunday night. Sunday night. Well, best of luck at the Cricket World Cup.

Thanks very much. Hit them way away. Way away? I'll do my best. That's what City says. All the sexes. That's the advice. You could basically coach

From up top Hit it Way away Hit it way away Swing and whack Also got a What do you call it A jersey

Yeah Yeah a top A top Yeah Cricket jersey What they wear on the upper half of their bodies It is weird Because it doesn't look like a jersey

A shirt A shirt yeah We've got a A black cap shirt If you go to our Instagram FVMZM Just You'll find out how to win that. Megan's got it there.

And we'll get the proper size for whoever wins that as well. That's very cute. Pretty good if you work at the ANZ. You could wear that to work, couldn't you? Because it's got ANZ written on it. In case you forget where you work. Yeah, well, I'm just going to get you a vest pack. You just sit down and go, oh, that's right.

I'm in a vest pack. Yeah, exactly. You work in a vest pack. You might not want to wear that on Casual Friday. All right. Hey, thanks Alright hey thanks Lance All the best Cheers What a great podcast so far Wouldn't you agree Fletch?

Yes And it's all thanks to Spark Get one gig of bonus data With the Spark U25 pack Now back to the podcast So over the last few days Behind the scenes Fletch has been saying

That he's found out He can get faster internet at his house. Yeah. Faster, because you're already on fibre. I'm already on fibre. I've got no, I've never had a problem with my internet connection or anything or speed or anything, but I just found out when I logged on.

Yeah, I'm so fat. You never had a problem. Well, no, because I live in the city, so I guess that's one of the plus sides of that. Yeah. You've got all this. I've got grass in the backyard. But slower internet.

So, yeah. At our old house, we had fibre. Yeah. When we lived in the suburbs, but we've moved rural, and we knew that the internet was going to be slow, but wow, it is slow. Nothing quite prepares you for slow. Remember last election or the election before,

there was a lot of chat about rural broadband. I was like, what are farmers need fast internet for? And now you're like, rural? You're like, they need fast internet. They've got to come home and sit down and watch some high-definition television streaming services. Surely, after a hard day's yakker out there on the fam. Well, I found out that for a dollar more, because I'd signed this plan years ago,

and my two years had finished. For a dollar more, I could get way faster internet. I was like, well, why wouldn't I do that? So I did. I signed up. So yesterday, it kicks in for Fletch and he sends me a screen cap of, he's tested

the speed of his internet on his phone. You can just Google. You can do it on the app. No, you do it on the app. You can do it on your app. You can literally just go into Google

and write, test internet speed. Yeah, and it does it. And it will say at the top, click here to test your internet speed and then it sends it to the Google server

and tells you how fast you are. So, Fletch's download speed is 929 megabytes per second. So that'scher's download speed is 929 megabytes per second. So that's just shy of a gig, right? Yeah. A second. Oh my

God, I just spat everywhere. That's insane. Like you think of an episode or a legal episode of a show Okay, so you're stumbling. That's never a good sign that you are actually talking about legal acquisition. Thinking of a home movie that someone makes that's an hour that's a gig. Yeah, that's a high definition.

That will download in a minute. A second. In a second. I mean, it probably wouldn't. It might take a few seconds. If it got a direct connection. Yeah. It could download just like, it could just be like, done.

Isn't that nuts, eh? Yeah. The upload speed, 509 megabytes per second. So if someone was uploading that same video, it would take them two seconds. See, if I was gaming, it'd be good too, eh? That's good for gaming too, eh? Phenomenal gaming connection.

Phenomenal. There's so many gamers that are like, it's wasted on you. It is wasted on me, yeah. It is wasted on you. So I said, that's very interesting, I'll test mine. Fletcher's megabytes per second was 929.

Yep. Mine is 0.3. And mine's not even one megabyte per second, it's 0.3. Fletcher's 900. Nearly a game. So then,

I said before that you're 300 times faster, you're way more than 300 times faster, aren't you? It's like 3,000. per second is 0.3. Fletch is 900. Nearly a game. So then, why say before that you're 300 times faster? You're way more than 300 times faster, aren't you? It's like 3,000. I don't know. I'm not good at maths.

Well, it's like 900 times. Well, it could be three times as fast to get to one and then there's 100 more. So there's three more zeros. Someone will text it in. Someone will text it in.

You're 3,000 times faster than me. And then what's your upload? So your upload is 500 megabytes per second. Mine's 0.6. So the only advantage I have over you is ratio-wise, my upload's faster than my download. But Vaughn's salty about this because I'm like,

he's struggling to watch Netflix. Like, does your Netflix stutter? It stops and it goes, think, think, think, think, think. And then it's good. It's good for a while. Because mine mustn't be too much better than yours, Vaughn. We don't live that far away from each other. Nah.

And sometimes I get real pixely Netflix and I have to wait. So I was like... Halfway through the episode, I'm like, oh, that's right. It's clear again. God, you guys are making me so sad. I'm thinking of doing a GoFundMe for you guys.

For rural van poverty. So I opened my laptop yesterday at home because I just did the speed test on my phone and I opened up a browser and I waited for five minutes for it to load. And then I typed in, I Googled, because you can Google when chorus are thinking fiber's coming to your address.

Yep. And you put in your address. Yep. And what did it say? It said, no future plans. And I was like, okay, maybe they've not planned that far ahead. So I started looking around at different addresses. They've planned pretty much five to six years into the future.

And we're not in that bracket. And then people said, because people have told me about rural 4G. But it's quite limited. And you pay a top dollar for limited internet. And we churned through it pretty quick. Right.

Where's the nearest place to you? Because I know Uber Eats is like a couple of hundred metres away from your house and it stops. Yeah, so you'd have to meet them at the bus stop down the road.

Could you just run a large cable to someone's extension? Just put tape over it so no one trips or... Like one of those Ethernet cables. Yeah. And just plug it into someone's... That wouldn't be fibre, right?

Because that's Ethernet. That's copper wire, not fibre optics. No, because you go from your thing into your... Oh, you're talking straight to their router. Yeah. Like it might cost you $1,000 in cable, but at least you're getting Ethernet. Like the people who look after the power lines come

and they're like, what is this like blue thing kind of hanging off the power lines? I'm like, that's me internet. Don't touch that. I'm running it off Janice and Steve's connection down the road. They, I convinced them to go for the unlimited plan so I could just piggyback straight off it. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Sort of post on Facebook last night, somebody saying, is going out for dinner by yourself the ultimate sign of loneliness or confidence? Okay. That was one of your friends asking Facebook. It was a person I'm friends with on Facebook, yeah. And I thought that's a really good, and would it all depend on the person, I suppose. Dinner. Because I've been out for a brunch by myself.

I did once. And it was lovely. One brunch by myself, but I was so self-conscious. It felt like everyone was looking at me. I love my family very much. And I love dining out with them. But there was just something very lovely about brunching by myself. Yeah, right.

I wasn't in a hurry. You just take your time. It was probably peaceful. It was quite quiet. Yeah, it was. But I don't think I've done a dinner by myself, but heck, I would.

I'd go to a, oh yeah, I'm going to take myself on a lovely date here. I'm going to a steakhouse. Yeah. You'd go to a steakhouse by yourself?

This must be what it's, I'm not paying for anybody else. So I'm probably going to get the most expensive steak. Are you asking, is this what it's like when you're single? Yeah. Because if you go out and you're just paying for yourself. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Wow. Have you dined out for dinner by yourself? Um, I wouldn't here, but when I travel, if I'm traveling by myself. You go into a restaurant and you just eat by yourself. Yeah, but it wouldn't be like a fancy ass restaurant. Yeah. If you're like traveling and stuff.

Damn, I want to treat myself now. You haven't done it. How am I going to flow this to the wife? I think I need to take myself on a date night. Some of them are very nice. Lots of married couples later in life do those like separate. Holidays. Like holidays.

Yeah. And journeys. Really? Yeah. And then they get divorced. Yeah. Or they just don't know how to get divorced

because there's a lot of admin involved. But I know that occasionally you'll go and see a nerd movie by yourself. Movies by myself is such a treat.

And the best part is going after work because not too many people have that spare time at like 11.30 on a weekday. Oh damn. Pretty much

empty cinema, snack up, sit down by myself, relax. Oh, it's good. I've done the odd concert by myself. But if there is like an artist or a band that I absolutely love, sometimes I actually hate going with people, especially people that aren't into it fully because they start yapping and I'm just like, shut up. I've never done any of those things by myself

you're not very independent are you no I am like I you're not got my own stuff sorted even people who aren't independent

hate being called you're not very independent are you no no I do all my own stuff it's like an insulting you literally haven't been single for the last

ever ever ever I don't know since I was 17 yeah wow hence not very... Ever, ever. Ever. I don't know, since I was 17. Yeah. Wow. Hence, you're not very independent. No, but I still do stuff by myself.

It's just like, but going to a movie, I love it when everyone laughs. Like if you're in there by yourself, you're like... Would you sit down at a cafe by yourself? Not your cafe. Would you go to a cafe and sit down and just have a coffee? No. I would. But I don't know why. I don't have a reason. I would have had a beer by myself last week.

This makes me sound irresponsible, but I was early for school pick-up, so I was like, I'm going to go have a beer. I'm over school pick-up. One of your kids is going to have to drive Dad home because he's going to be carrying away at the pub. Producer Caitlin, you've famously done stuff by yourself and very happy with it. Yeah, well, I'm going to get a bit carried away at the pub. Producer Caitlin, you've famously done stuff by yourself

and very happy with it. Yeah, well, I had to because I haven't always had a boyfriend and not all my friends are always around, so I would always do things by myself. The only thing I haven't done by myself yet, which I'm really, I need to actually go and do, is sit down at a bar and have a drink by myself because I think I'm just like,

oh, I've done it in other countries, but I haven't done it in Auckland because I'm just like scared that someone will see me and be like, what are you doing? Is that what people are scared about? The judgment. Yeah, that's what I'm scared of, I think. I think that's what the initial question was.

Like, it would all depend on how you carried yourself. Like, if you look confident and stuff, but if you looked scared and alone, then you would look lonely. Yeah, I don't want to ask for a movie ticket. Just one. Well, if you look confident and stuff, but if you look scared and alone, then you look lonely. Yeah, I don't want to ask for a movie ticket. Just one. Well, if you did go to the movies by yourself, would you buy two?

We're like, two, please. Two ice creams, two combos. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Two combos. Because I go one movie ticket and two combos. Sarah, are you buying for somebody else? None of your business. Give it to me.

How many people are in the cinema? Can I be seated far away from everybody, but right in the middle? I always think it's something I'd like to try, like more stuff by myself, but then I just can't do it because there's no one there to buy the tickets with me.

I think if you're going to try things doing it by yourself, it's great because if you're failing and if you go to learn something and do something for the first time and the person you're going with is very experienced, it can be pretty hard.

They want to keep going and do more of it, but you're just learning. It's sometimes better just to go by yourself. I think it's sad, though, as well, that people don't travel because they don't want to travel solo as well. But then I can understand why. Like, if you were a... Sadly, the world we live in is...

You know, like, I wouldn't feel confident being a female travelling by myself. And I know there are females that travel by themselves. Oh, I thought you were going to say no one to take your photos. Your Instagram. Yeah, like the world's a sad place because who's going to take your Instagram? Yeah, yeah. Not the ever-present threat of people and bad folk.

So we asked on our Instagram a quick poll earlier this morning. Dining solo, would you? Yay or nay? Yay, 59%, but no way, 41%. Right. Okay. So that's quite close.

Just who do you talk to? And then you're like, this is yum. Or look at the sites when you're on holiday. Or like, talk about the movie movie or like, I don't know. There's no reference point. Right. But then you can just roll it around inside your head. Yeah, okay. Interesting.

Yeah. Do you not have someone in your head that talks back to you with your questions? Do you not realise I don't think that I'm very independent? You're having a moment of realisation. Oh, wow, isn't it? Yeah. So we want to know from you, what do you do by yourself that...

Nothing. I can't even leave the house. You know what's coming though, eh, Megan? Yeah. Yeah. What do you do by yourself that other people generally do in numbers? That people maybe think,

why aren't you doing that with someone? Yeah, maybe someone's called you out on it. Like, why do you do that by yourself? Yeah. Give us a call. 0800 dials at M9696. Maybe this will be an awakening for Megan. Yeah.

We're talking about what you do by yourself that maybe people find a bit weird because they generally like to do it in a group or with at least one other. One of your Facebook friends last night posing the question. Yeah, they said, is dining by yourself the ultimate sign of confidence or loneliness? And Megan?

Very good question. It turns out Megan has done nothing by herself and is not independent. She just tried to say she went clothes shopping by herself. Like that was some monumental moment. Yeah, because I don't like to be rushed. I do it by myself. That's something that is socially acceptable is doing solo. Yeah.

So that doesn't count. Oh, okay. So, and we're hearing from people on both sides of it. People like Megan who just can't bear the thought of doing things by themselves. Someone messaged in, my family gives me so much grief for this, but I hate to see anybody doing anything by themselves. Drinking, eating, sometimes going to the movies by themselves almost makes me cry at the thought of it.

Me too. I'm like, we are all your friends. Who do you think you are though? But like, what are you thinking? You're just looking at this person thinking they're so alone or sad. We are all their friends. That's what I'm thinking.

They could be completely happy and don't want to be with annoying people. That's okay. But I feel like I should check and be like, you okay? They say that every time their dad and brother go overseas for work they put up a photo of when they have to have a meal alone

because they know it's going to get to me and I get really upset about my dad eating by himself. Aww. I feel really sorry for people who don't have someone. I do too. I do too. But then lots of people are married but just still do things by themselves. I'm a mum of two teenage girls Are married But just still do Things by themselves

I'm a mum of two Teenage girls Happily married for 16 years But I'll travel by myself Go to cafes by myself Restaurants by myself That's for me It's my time out

It's my alone time See that's just Having kids isn't it You need that alone time Yeah You need some personal space Right It's really weird

When you do have a family And like I go from this Noisy work to home and then there's family noise. When no one else is at home and you sit there and it's quiet and you're like, it's so quiet here. But then I imagine that's what it's like when I'm not there as well. Yeah.

It's so quiet when it's not here. Gemma, what do you do solo that people just can't get? Travelling. Great. See, I get that. It's the best thing, like I went to India by myself, which everyone thought I was absolutely crazy for, and I did meet my partner there eventually, but it was just kind of having that independence and experiencing everything by ourselves. Last year I went with my four-year-old to Vancouver and on our way back to

our apartment I said to my partner I was like okay you're going to take our daughter and I'm just going to go for a couple of hours. He's like where are you going? I was like I don't know I'm just going to get on the train go into the city and I'm just going to do my own thing and he was like okay and that was it. You can go with people to other places, but it's just taking even like an hour for yourself to experience it on your own. And do what? Megan's like, no, but I need him to come on the train

to help me find my way home. It's just anything. It's anything. You could just go and have something to eat, people watch, just anything. And's anything. You could just go and have something to eat, people watch, just anything. And I met the best people. And it's, yeah, no, it's just a different experience. But then I come back and I have to tell him all about it.

He could have just been there and then I wouldn't have to. But then he might be jealous that you're, like, buzzing with this kind of fire that you've just done something by yourself. And he's like, well, I want to do that. And you'll be like, well. Can we lift this audio so when Gemma's like, well, I want to do that. And we're like, well. Can we lift this audio so when Gemma's murdered overseas, we can give it to her family?

No, I don't hope you're not murdered overseas. One of those things I said and then I immediately regret it. Gemma, thank you for your call. Daniel, you do stuff by yourself and people think it's weird? Yeah, I like to go tenpin bowling. Okay. I get that. Okay.

That is to me something I can't understand because I don't like tenpin bowling enough to do it by myself. How about who are you competing against? Myself. Right? Yeah, I get that. And the worst part about tenpin bowling is waiting for the other two, three, four or five people to have their turn

when you could be bowling every time. Yeah, but then you can't in like, yay, I won. But then I get a sore arm if I don't have a break. Well, I imagine you've got good arms, Daniel, if you're doing it all by yourself. Not really. Just one good arm. He's got one very good arm.

The other's very weak. Hey, thanks, you call Logan. You went camping by yourself. Yeah, I reckon you'd like to get a monster as well, actually, with your good experience with barbecues. But it's quite nice going out there and, you know, you've got your one little cooker and all your food by yourself. Yeah, I did it.

I went tramping by myself for like three days. It's so good. Yeah, but the person that doesn't agree with it was my girlfriend. So I went by myself up to Mongoli. And she was still to this day not not convinced that i wasn't um going off to see another girl or cheat on her because camping sucks you'd have to drag me along at the best of times but then like but there's no way you want to do that by yourself but then would you let mr toyboy go camping by himself? No, because he'd be like, who's this chick?

Absolutely not. Yeah, okay, so you can't win, Logan. Brilliant. Hey, thanks for your calls and text messages. For things you do by yourself. Somebody said, my friends really struggle with this, but if we're ever doing a road trip, I'll always say I'll take my own car. Because that way I get to control the music,

I get to control the temperature, and I don't have to stop for anybody else to go toilet apart from myself. No, but that's the fun of the road trip. It's the camaraderie. Yeah. I don't think I'm a very independent person. No, you're not. This is crazy.

Female Fletch messaged in saying I love doing stuff by myself. I find other people very annoying. They dawdle. They don't walk quick enough. Oh, other people very annoying. They dawdle. They don't walk quick enough. Oh, I walk very fast. You walk fast. Someone said,

I don't like having to wait for other people. If they're going on, for example, at a theme park, at a ride I don't want to go on. I don't like having to wait for people. This is female fledge. They might want to eat where I don't want to eat at a time when I don't want to eat.

Honestly, can we get this number? I think we've found soulmate. No, because they might not want to eat. No, you're two very stubborn people that are going to highly clash. Yeah. No, or you just see each other for like a minute a day. Or it could be an awakening into what I'm like. Yeah.

And then I'll be like, I've really got to change. Nah. Nah. No. I can't see that happening. Next on the show. You'll just be like, I've really got to change. Nah. Nah. I can't see that happening. Next on the show. You'll just be like, this person's wrong. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about tomato sauce. Oh, yeah. Who do you think invented tomato sauce? The Italians. Italians? So I'm going to go left of centre. The Russians. Russia's climate.

Well known for its ability to reduce the tropical fruit that is a tomato no because I thought they'd like sausage rolls and stuff because it's cold hot sausage rolls and they're like hmm this needs something it's missing something

anyone got any spare tomatoes just imagine some old Russian woman in the early 1900s trying to thaw a frozen tomato make it into sauce

thaw it make the sauce you said Russian woman I am a Russian woman it's very hard I thought I'd make the sauce. You said Russian woman. I am a Russian woman. It's very hard living. A hundred years ago in Russia. So, actually. Not Russia then. No.

The Mexicans invented tomato sauce. When the Spanish arrived in Mexico, it was already happening. Tomato sauce was being offered for sale in Tenochtitlan. No. What was that? The German town. Tenochtitlan.

Tenochtitlan. Okay. I don't know how to do the Aztec. Right. It wasn't a salsa. But today's Mexico City. No. Good question.

It's not a salsa because it was actually pureed and cooked. Like a salsa is your fresh tomato. Yeah. But this was a tomato sauce. It was a much, you know, it had been cooked. Right. And it had been pureed and mashed and everything. So it was much more saucy than it was the chunky salsa.

Okay. But then the Spanish took it back. Okay. When they went around and the Italians were like, you know what this would go great with? Pasta. Spaghetti. The spaghetti business we've got going on.

And the first appearance of tomato sauce in an Italian cookbook dates back to 1790. Wow. But tomato sauce was invented sometime before that, and the first tomato sauce was invented in Mexico. And now we've got like Wadis. Great. Got all the tomato sauces. But some of the ingredients in the traditional tomato sauce was tomatoes.

Yep. Peppers. Yep. So it was a slightly maybe, it was the sort of tomato sauce that you'd buy and your mum would be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Barry passed a glass of water. I didn't know milk.

I've read milk. I've read milk does it. Milk does a better. But apparently tomato sauce is, the name sauce is taken from what the locals were calling salsa. Right. But it's a slightly different take on it. It's like a step further down the preparation. But today's fact of the day is tomato sauce was actually invented in ancient Mexico.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh for an Amiga's cash chip dip. Do you believe in chip in a dip? Yes. Yes. Yes. You know what? We should sell the experience of getting to play with auto-tune.

With vocoder. Oh, my God, it's amazing. That was fun. Because that in real life didn't sound that good. It sounded terrible. Hard to believe it would sound worse, but it did. It did. But the idea is I think the worse it sounds,

the funnier it sounds through vocoder. We are celebrating the fact that the salt and vinegar chip is New Zealand's favourite chip. And we do this every time Food Fight has a winner. We've given away a thousand cheeseburgers. We have. Given away dollar mixtures, free chippies, hot chips. We did that free chip Friday. Well, tomorrow,

chip in a dip in Christchurch. We will be broadcasting the show tomorrow live outside at the Palms. Outside, we've got a scissor lift. Six metres in the air. We will take you up if you're in Christchurch and you want to come up in the scissor lift. And from six metres, you drop a chip.

If it lands into a small bowl of dip, you are in the draw to win $1,000. And the only people in that draw are the people that can get the chip in the bowl. So if you get it in and then nobody else does, we'll probably still do the draw, but it's looking pretty good for you. Now, it doesn't matter if you can't get to the Palms, if you're not in Christchurch, because wherever you are tomorrow, you can call us, 0800 DARS at M, and we, one of us, will drop the chip for you. So we're going to start the chip drop from 7.30 tomorrow.

Whereabouts in the Palms are we, Producer Caitlin? Whereabouts will we be broadcasting and where will the scissor lift be? It'll be just outside Coffee Culture. What a wonderful position because I was thinking if we're broadcasting from there I will need a coffee. Do they have ginger slices? And I am quite cultured. Caramel slices? Lambing slices?

What's the food like? I don't know. I'll try it all. They're gonna love you being accosted as soon as they open the doors. And Megan runs a cafe now so they can experience judgement from a fellow cafe owner. So yeah if you're in Christ so they can experience judgment from a fellow cafe owner. So yeah, if you're in Christchurch, come to the Palms to Rorydell.

Yesterday, we had a physics expert from the University of Auckland. Yeah, Tristan O'Hanlon said one of the major aspects of this will be atmospheric conditions, wind, et cetera. Joining us on the phone, a meteorologist and expert at atmospheric conditions and friend of the show, Maddy McLean. Good morning. Sorry, you're interrupting me doing a

which Disney princess is your soulmate quiz on BuzzFeed. I'm very busy. Let me save you the time. It's Prince Charming. Have you actually finished it? I need to know now. Okay, hang on. I've got one more question to answer.

Can you hold fire? What's the question? Where did you find this quiz, too? Buzzfeed. Is it a Buzzfeed quiz? It's a Buzzfeed quiz. What is the last question? Okay, here we go.

Okay, do you want to know who it is? Yeah. Prince Eric. Prince Eric. Prince Eric from Little Mermaid. Oh, I wouldn't have picked him. He's a cutie. He is a cutie.

I mean, she literally gave it all up to be with him, and all she did was see him. That's how good-looking he was. Yeah, right. Exactly. So take the compliment. Anyway, on to other very important matters. The weather.

Yeah. So you want to know what it's doing in Christchurch tomorrow, morning specifically, right? Yeah, morning specifically. Morning's all about you looking up. Okay, good news. Okay, good news. No, good news. Megan, sorry, I've been researching this all morning for you.

Apologies, of course. Because the good news is it is going to rain tomorrow, but not until the afternoon. So you've got a fine morning. Okay. It will be a little bit chilly though. You might want to rug up. It'll be reaching about six degrees at about 7am.

See, I said in the group chat last night, everybody pack your puffer, and I got ridiculed. They said, thanks, Mum. I bought my chic cheetah print faux fur coat. Don't you worry about it. Oh, God, okay. But what about wind conditions, Matty? There will be some nor'westerly winds, and they are pretty strong down in Canterbury today. Oh, God. Okay. But what about wind conditions, Matty?

There will be some nor'westerly winds, and they are pretty strong down in Canterbury today. They are meant to ease overnight, and usually they don't kind of tend to pick up there until the afternoon anyway. So you should be all right for tomorrow morning with just some kind of light nor'westerly winds. So those that are coming down, dropping chips, a quick release with the fingers as we talked about yesterday, but we may have

to account for some wind drift. Yeah, there will be a little bit of wind, but it's not those strong southerlies that they get in Christchurch. Okay, alright. And it's not the north-westerly that makes everybody go crazy. No, it is the nor'westerly, so it could mess with your mind a little bit.

Hot, dry north-wester., so it could mess with your mind a little bit. Hot, dry northwester. Except cold. Except cold, yeah. Very cold. Matty McLean, thank you so much for the weather update. We'll let you get back to your BuzzFeed quiz. Thank you so much. Are you going to do another quiz now, or is that just...

We've got to find out which Disney princess you are now. Exactly, exactly. I'm hoping for Belle. Me too. Oh, my God, yeah Yeah that'd be real cute Oh yeah Because she was kind of like Well read

And fierce And everything But like Moana Has there been a Disney princess That was just more like If you patriarchy I'm going to save the world And plus like

All that plentiful seafood That bounty of seafood Oh yeah yeah yeah Oh so many Scallops All those scallops She'd be like Hey ocean

I can't be bothered Diving for a lobster Have a jet ship one up here ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's

Bree and Clint a listen too subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts and music lives here

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