ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 17 2018

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

Megan's mum buys her underwear, the grand winner of Food Fight is announced and what essential household item do you not have?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Sparks. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. ZDM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, thank you, Anya. Long legs, equal sexy, huh? That'll be why David Bayne's doing so well.

With the ladies. Seems very tall. Lang man! Not all tall people have tall legs. They can have tall torsos. Long torsos. Long torsos.

Yeah, that's true. Squatty legs and long torsos. You'd have the longest legs here though. Me. Would that make you the sexiest?

By default. If you needed to look deeper for a reason. Okay then. But do you know he has really short legs? Did you see a video of, I feel bad for calling Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe in the city yesterday in Auckland City?

So short. He's just a short man. He's just a tiny man, but ripped. Yeah. He was wearing little duck boxes, like yellow rubber ducky on grey male boxes. He's wearing those in the movie, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah, because people see him standing around waiting in a bathrobe. Yeah. So he must be, because they filmed a car chase near my house. It's very exciting.

I would find it so hard not to yell out, Potter! If I saw him. But I bet he hates it. He would hate it. He hates it. Yeah.

I've heard if you want to have a chat to him, if you do see him in the wild, a Daniel Radcliffe in the wild, you should approach him slowly and let him sniff your hand first. Like a rabid dog. Like a dog.

But you shouldn't open with Potter. No. Yeah. Open with something else. Make the Potter thing like the last. Don't even bring it up. Don't even bring it up. He knows you know.

Yeah, yeah, he's very well aware. He's well aware that he was in Harry Potter. He's well aware that he's in one of the most well-known film franchises of all time. And now when we read one of the most well-known book franchises of all time, we automatically picture him in that as well. Yeah. He must be keeping a low profile. He's been here for like, what, a month?

Yeah. And not hearing many stories. Well stories He's working hard during the day I want some scandal I want some goss He's doing the goss but then he pulls out his magic wand And makes people forget Oh handy Poor guy

He's going to be like 60 one day I know Porter Alright 8 o'clock this morning He's going to be like 60 one day. I know. Porter! F off. All right. Eight o'clock this morning. Our $200,000 double date. We've come close a couple of times.

Given away a couple of the $1,000 cash prizes. But if we can match your day, month, and year of birth with another caller, $100,000 each. Also coming up today, Food Fight. It is the... It's happened. Grand final up today, Food Fight. It is the... It's happened. Grand final. The grand final announcement. 8am, just after 8. I mean, it's a done deal.

It would take some sort of Russian Kremlin hack. To change this result. To change the voting, because it's pretty one-sided. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news stories. I've found three headlines. You've got to pick the story just by the headline.

Vaughan and Megan, headline one, Ski is not heating warning in Bear Valley. Headline two, high-speed collision results in unexpected leather interior. And headline three, school pickup gets heated. Okay, so Bear Valley, the name itself would indicate there are bears there and the scares went through and had some sort of altercation with a bear. You could call it an altercation, yes.

Leather interior, they've hit an animal like a cow and it's gone through the windscreen into the car because leather's made from cow hide. Yes. So that's ended up in there. Three is school pickup gets heated. The mums are getting a bit angry. Hey, dads do school pickup too, man.

I apologize. Yeah, Vaughan does school pickup. I love doing school pickup. Well, not really. You hate it. I've got a mate we sit under a trench at. You're not allowed to walk home from school anymore, eh? Are they even going to be allowed to walk home?

Oh, no, not my children. No, yeah. I mean, other children, but, like, my children, very sought after. Look at them. They're so cute. If they weren't mine, I'd abduct them. Right. Yeah, I'll go get them.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, until I'm told not to. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can't wait for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, until I'm told not to. Oh, yeah, I can't wait for that. That's going to be hilarious. It'll be heartbreaking. I'll send the drone up the road. I will literally send the drone up to school every,

because I can fly the drone from our house and get to school. Legally. Yeah. No. Wow. If I stay low enough, and then there's sort of a grey area. There's no grey area. And Indy will just walk out,

see the drone and be like, oh God, okay. And then I'll turn on the tracking function and track her all the way home. All right. So are we going for the school pick up gets hated story? Okay, we go to Australia. Australia.

In Western Sydney, where mums pick up their kids after school at the Sydney School, Maronite College of the Holy Family School. Oh. Amen. Amen. Sounds judging.

The Holy Family. Well, it got heated on Monday after an argument over a car park outside of this holy school. Oh, yes. And mums went to it. Good. Fisties. Oh, they're fisty cuffs.

Fisty cuffs. And a nun had to step in. A nun had to break up the fisty cuffs. And try and break up the fight. It was caught on camera. That looks like a news, like maybe someone was up in a building, a tall building. No, that's security footage. Or security footage.

That'd be the school's security cams. It's all been released and the school's principal has had to release a statement expressing her disappointment over the parents, not the students, in this regard at the Holy School. Oh, my gosh. But you hear about school pickups and parking getting pretty heated. I don't know about it, but... I've got a friend that he lives next to a school and people always park over his driveway at pick-up time.

And then he goes to get out and he can't. Yeah, I know, but they park over his driveway and bugger off into the school. Oh, to get out and he can't. Oh, but they're only there for five minutes. Yeah, I know, but they park over his driveway and bugger off into the school. Oh, they get out of their car. No, that's not all. And then they just leave the blinkers on, but the blockers hold driveway.

I would, if I was in a bad enough mood, I'd just reverse into it one day. Just push it out with your car. I'd just push it out and say, you know what? Yeah. It doesn't matter. Oh, you'd go buy a nice little winch

or hire a winch from Hypole and just winch it the hell out the way. I'd set a winch into the concrete. What a great idea. Yeah. And then winch it away. Has he tried a Passag note? Oh, he loves a Passag note. Okay. You just have to have a standard written one. Just front of copy.

I'd start messing with the cars like putting foamy cream on the windscreen. Lipstick. Lipstick is the one. Oh, lipstick. That's foamy cream on the windscreen. Lipstick. Lipstick is the one. Oh, lipstick. That's hard to get off. Yeah. No parking.

Then if you put the wipers on, you're screwed. Like that liquid nails on an old brick. Yeah, but then you're getting into getting arrested territory, aren't you? Prove it. Prove it was me. Good call. Fair call. Yeah.

Who has the motive here? Sir, they were parked in your driveway. That could be anybody's driveway. Sarah, it's your driveway. Hey, hey, is it though? Is it? Is it though? The greatest defence.

Yeah, I've got your address. You live here. Oh, do I? Do you though? I'm standing on your front doorstep, sir. Are you though? You're in your pyjamas in this house. Am I though?

FEM. ZM. A woman in Michigan, they haven't released her name, and you'll find out why in this house. Am I though? FEM. ZM. A woman in Michigan, they haven't released her name and you'll find out why in a minute. She was working in a place and obviously didn't like her colleague very much because... I know the feeling. Jokes!

I like all of you guys. And she brought baking to work one day. Well, that's not what you do if you don't like your colleagues. No. Because Fletch just said he likes us but he still hasn't brought us any work one day. Well, that's not what you do if you don't like your colleagues. No. Because Fletch just said he likes us, but he still hasn't brought us any of his baking. Oh, the giant slow cooker caramel cookie.

Thank you. Only because it wasn't that good. I thought it was bloody good. You were like, oh, this isn't that good. What about the Belgian biscuits? Yeah, well, I ate all of those. No, because I ate all of them, Megan. I get real. You are being a little piggy piggy with your bacon.

Yeah. You didn't share with anyone. There's a term I read yesterday. It's called procrastinate baker. Oh, yeah. I read that too. And it's where you're meant to do chores around the house and instead you're just like,

I'm just going to bake biscuits or a yum cake. Yeah. Because then you're like, I'm being so domestic. You feel like you're getting something done. You're tidying the pantry and you're like, oh, I'll bag of flour. I know exactly what I could do with you. But yeah like you're getting something done. Tidying the pantry and you're like, oh, a bag of flour. I know exactly what I could do with you. But yeah, you're right.

Scare away the people who are gluten intolerant. I'll do something this weekend and bring them in. How does that sound? What have you got on? What are you planning on baking? I don't know. Well, I was thinking of doing some royal scones. But I don't like scones. I love a scone. Chuck a date in there. What about, what are Devonshire scones?

Because I heard some old bitty talking about those. Aren't they little ones? Oh my God, I'll do Lamingtons because they're British, eh? Lamingtons are hard. Well, I can do them. Oh, okay. I know the secret. Are you buying a bought sponge or are you making sponge?

No, I'm going to make my first ever sponge. Okay. It's going to be like I'm on that show, Nailed It. That's what It's going to be like I'm on that show. Nailed it. That's what it's going to be like. All a Devonshire scone is, is just when you split the scone in two and have each half with cream and jam.

Well, that's how I have a scone. That's how else would you have a scone? That's how, yeah. They should just be called scones and if you eat them dry, that should just be called a dry brick of yuck. Yeah, right. Okay, so back to this lady.

Brought in baking for her workmates, except she offered it to someone everyone knows she doesn't like. Right. So she brings in these brownies, offers old mate, what's his name, Derek, and she's not a big fan of Derek. Okay. That tips off people in the workplace being like, why is she suddenly being nice to Derek?

So Derek's like, what have you done to these brownies? She denies anything. She's like, I just want to like, I'm just offering, peace offering, just offering you some brownies. And it turns out he dobs her into management. And then for some reason, the police get involved into this. They ask her, she denies doing anything to the brownies and when they test them,

she's put laxatives in them. I think she's actually being charged. Although Derek didn't eat seed brownies. Derek's not his name. So he's like, I'm not eating this. You hate me. Yeah.

This is a trap. Yeah, 100%. And he was right, to be fair. Laced with laxatives. How strong are laxatives, though? In how much prison, how much court time, what are you getting for that? What's the charge? Does it say?

So she was considered for a criminal act, but in the end she faced no charges purely because he didn't eat them. If I was a judge, I would have said, alright, you're eating that whole thing. Yeah, you have to eat them. Yeah, you think that's funny? I'll show you funny. You're about to shit your pants. Get them out of evidence. They're really hard. Yeah, they're hard and a bit mouldy on the bottom. Literally just like crush

up the laxative and sprinkle it in. No, you can get liquid laxative. And you just dribble that in. But how strong is it? When you're creaming the butter and sugar, you just... I guess so, yeah. Probably when you put in the vanilla essence. You drop in the laxative as well. How strong is it, though?

I don't know. Because I've eaten something and someone's like, oh, it's got laxative in it. And I maybe had a slightly softer stool than usual, but nothing panicky. I don't know what everyone... I don't think there's anything on the market that just absolutely cleans you out, right?

Apart from that EpiCac stuff that they give you if you've ingested poison. Prune juice? Oh, okay. And that makes you... Prune juice just... To me, you just go for a poo, don't you? But it's nothing like crazy. Gold kiwi fruits.

They'll go right through you. Oh, I love gold kiwi fruits. You have a few of those. Yeah. They're some of my faves. Top five fruit, actually. I'll say it. Because they're in season at the moment.

Yeah, they are. We're getting some bloody lovely golden kiwi fruit. Perhaps the most well-known diary in history. Yeah. Would be Anne Frank's diary. I can't think of a diary that would be more. Everybody knows Anne Frank's diary, right? Caitlin, this is my lit and misty.

Yeah, she was in the war and she hid up in the attic. Yeah. And she had a diary and she wrote about it because the Nazis were coming for her. Are we allowed to say that word? Nazis? Nazis. Okay. Terrible people.

That's what they were. Awful folk. And then she... Snappy dresses, terrible people. And all the family got taken away from her or something, eh? Oh, no, they were all living in the attic. They were all living in the fake. Because, yeah, we went there.

No, she was Jewish. Oh. We went there. Hell of an experience. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, I'd learned about it at school, but had forgotten a fair bit about it and went to it. It's the third most popular thing to visit in Amsterdam.

It's so tiny. Not counting, like like weed dispensaries and red light districts and sex shows. Like actual tourism attractions like museums and stuff. Right. And you walk in

and you learn that they were just, yeah, for two and a bit years just cooped up in the back of this building. Like there was a fake wall and you walk in and they were pretty much

living in a crawl space. You had to walk out through a ladder. It's so tiny. You're just like, wow. Oh yeah. And it's just eerie. This eerie silence the whole time. living in a cruel space. You've got to walk out through a ladder. It's so tiny. You're just like, wow. How did they do it? And it's just eerie, this eerie silence the whole time.

And she also didn't die in a concentration camp. Well, she did. She wasn't killed in a concentration camp. She died of tuberculosis in a concentration camp. And only a couple of days before the war ended. The concentration camp was liberated very soon after she passed away. That's the saddest. I don't think I knew that.

I thought she died in a camp. Died in a concentration camp. Well, her diary's been studied by school children ever since. It was released in 1947, a couple of years after the war ended, by her dad, Otto, who survived his time in the concentration camp. And he released the diary. It was reprinted into multiple languages and has sold millions of copies worldwide.

You know, a story of resilience and, you know, a teenage girl making the most of a terrible situation. Well, it's come to light. The people who bought the original diary, millions of dollars they paid for it. I bet. There's always been a question as to there was a page that's been pasted over. Brown masking tape. Like paper bag? Yeah, yeah, like a brown paper bag.

Yeah, yeah. And that was pasted over a couple of pages in her diary. And everyone's always been like, wonder what was on there. Well, thanks to technology, we now know what was on there. And oh, my God. And we can see why prior to releasing the diary, her father masked up a couple of pages. Otto, you dirty dog.

You've got to remember, she was like 15 years old at the end of it. It started when she was like 13. And when you're 13 and 14, I mean, heck, we read your diary, Megan. Imagine if that got leaked. I mean, yours didn't have any sort of profound message hidden throughout. Oh, hey. A little bit, if you dug deep enough. Yeah, but you weren't dropping your dad

in it, were you? Because one of the many things that was taped over was her talking about prostitutes. And she wrote, all men, if they're normal, go with women. Women like that that accost them on the street and then they go together. Meaning prostitutes come out and they're like

sir come in and then they go in. She said in Paris they have big houses for that. Papa has been there. So dad's like where's that brown I need some glue stick and I need some paper. He's like I'm releasing this to the world need some glue stick and I need some paper.

He's like, I'm releasing this to the world. They're not going to know I went with prostitutes. But how does Anne know? Does he just come home and tell her? Well, I mean, they were living in a very, you'd probably hear everything. You would have been there. You would, wouldn't you? No, but she's saying he went to the, in Paris, he went to the house. He's been to a prostitute's.

Yeah, but he might have been talking to his mate. Oh, yeah. And she might have overheard it. There'd be a lot of overhearing it. And she's got a couple of jokes in here. Why, do you know why the German army women are in Holland? As mattresses for the soldiers. And, and.

But, you know, that's not poetic. It is quite poetic. And, you know, to be fair, she was hiding from them too because she was scared for her life. So she's allowed to throw a bit of sass their way. Yeah, I think so. She's allowed to throw a little bit of sass their way. I don't get this joke, but she wrote in this joke,

a man had a very ugly wife and he didn't want to have sex with her. One evening he came home and saw his friend in bed with his wife and then the man said, he gets to and I have to. I get that. She's very poetic. Very sassy. Very sassy. I don't get that.

What is it? What is it? She's like. She's like. He's. It's for him. It's a like requirement. It's a chore.

At least he enjoys it. Yeah. That is poetic. Yeah. Wow. She wrote a bestselling diary, Vaughan. She did. I don't know why you're surprised.

She did. She just also... Anything else? Just lots of kind of... Lots of stuff. She talks about her coming of age. Yeah. What it's like being a woman,

studying your, you know, your changes in your body and such. Yeah. But I'd imagine the whole page just got taped over because of that thing about Dad going to a brothel in Paris. He's like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Isn't that amazing, though, that there was nothing else like that in the whole diary

apart from that one? Yeah, and it looks like if this is the page that's taped over, it's right in the middle of it too. It's not like she hid all the dirty stuff at the back, which is where I go to scrawl. You know, if you've got a book where you keep your ideas, you go in the back

and that's where you, you know, you just let it all out. Yeah. So there's more to the Anne Frank diary than we knew. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. This is a list of the Top Six

unusual slash left field things you can eat during the royal wedding. A lot of us will be going for scones. Yep. With jam and cream. Oh, I just had another idea. Go to the international aisle of the supermarket and get lots of Jaffa Cakes. Oh, Jaffa Cakes. I love those so much.

Cucumber sandwiches. Oh, yeah. On white bread with the crusts cut off. You know, you sit at a high tea situation. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. On white bread with the crusts cut off. Yeah, you see the high tea situation. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, why stick to, you know, that sort of fear when you could go for six of the more unusual dishes

that the British have? And here are top six left field snacks you can eat during the royal wedding. Six. Paying homage to the north. It's haggis. Yum. Didn't mind it at all. Haggis, neeps and taties. When we went to Scotland, someone was like, do you want to try haggis?

I was like, you know what? You can't come to Scotland and not try it. And they gave it to me and it was delicious. I loved it. Traditionally, it's the intestine and it's a whole lot of offal mixed with like breadcrumbs and onions and all this stuff. It was so good.

It's not appealing, is it? Nah. Neeps and taties with turnips and potatoes, which are just two great underground vegetables. So, haggis. Get into the haggis this weekend. Number five on the list of the top six left field British snacks you can eat during the royal wedding, spotted dick. Which I basically just put in here for a bit of a laugh. Of course you did, because it made me laugh.

But it's a pudding. It's a lot like a steamed pudding, except from what I can find, it's rendered with, and I don't know if it said suet or suet, I think it's suet because it's not French. It's the raw hard fat of beef or mutton found around the loins and kidneys. So it's a dessert that's rendered with fat.

Yes. Yeah. And it's got a really high smoke point, which means it's really good for deep frying or use in pastry. It doesn't burn. I just Googled spotted dick. Ah, okay, okay. I won't be eating that. Pop dessert.

Oh, that's not going anywhere near my mouth. And now IT's going to flag me because I've got all these penises with moles on them. Spotted dick dessert. That mole is almost bigger than the penis itself. I know. It's got a small penis for a giant mole. It's hard to tell. There's nothing peripheral.

No, there's no size. Is it because it's got chocolate chippies in it? It's spotted. Yes. Or it's fruit. But Sp chippies in it? It's spotted. Yes. Or it's fruit. But Spodek. I love Spodek. This sounds really good, though.

Yeah, it just looks like a fruitcake sort of situation. Okay. But with beef and mutton fat in it. I'll put that on the list for the weekend. Yeah, get it done. And it would leave that lovely oily taste in your mouth you get when you eat, like, a fatty piece of meat. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six left field British

snacks you can eat during the royal wedding. Toad in the hole. I've heard of it but didn't know what it was. Go on Megan. Is it an egg in bread? Is that it? No. No you make a hole in the bread and you like fry it in the hole. No that's a mousetrap.

It's a mousetrap. No. I thought a mousetrap was a it a mousetrap. No. Tone in a hole. I thought a mousetrap was just like a marmite and cheese toasty because it looks like a mouse has been squished in. Oh, this looks good. Tone in a hole. So it's a Yorkshire pudding, but you put sausage in the dough pre-cooking the Yorkshire pudding.

Oh, yeah. Killed her. Say what? So it's an extra sausagey, meaty Yorkshire pud and chuck a bit of gravy in the middle and you get a saff Furtado in the hole. Yum. Number four.

A lot of carbs. Yeah. A lot of carbs. Very calorie heavy. Yeah. That's that suet stuff that I was talking about before. Per 100 grams, it's 94 grams of saturated, of pure fat. Wow.

And no carbs and no protein. Like, we're just talking, that's just a fatty treat. Yep. Number three on the list, black pudding. Yuck, not a fan. Oh, are you not? I didn't think I was going to be a fan of this either, but it was good. So basically a blood sausage.

It was just basically butchers that are making sausages out of everything they had left over. And they're like, all right, it tastes all right, governor. What color is it? Black. Call it black pudding. Number two on the list of the top six things to try and eat during the royal wedding, traditional British snacks,

jellied eel. Oh, yuck. Which I now have a recipe for and will try next time I catch an eel, which I haven't for probably 25 years. Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a while since I've had the creaks to catch an eel. And the number one thing, I had no idea this even existed,

but now that I've seen it, there's something weird about it that I want to try. It's a Cornish delicacy called the Stargazy Pie. So you make a pie. It's got eggs and potatoes, the filling, traditional pastry, and then you put pilchards in it, the little fish. Now, the reason it's called the stargazy pie is because you leave the heads of the pilchards

poking out and it looks like they're gazing at the stars that's just teasing that's mean they're like poor fish please don't eat us

governor we're just a humble pilchard and you look at them in the eye as you eat them oh god delicious that is today's top six

we'll check in soon. Our producer, Caitlin, she's ordered our commemorative tea towels for the royal wedding. We've got a chance for you to pick up one of these. Piece of history, this. Yeah. There's so much memorabilia around. We've got to have some, don't we? Old bird up north's got 3,000 pieces of memorabilia.

I think it's only fair we send her a tea towel. I heard her talking to Kate Hawkesbury this morning on the drive to work, and she started hitting up Kate Hawkesbury about bringing her home a whole lot of shit. Now, would you be able to get Mike to drink a Winsor Knot beer? Now, this is an ale. He'll be able to sit on air about worrying about where he could buy one. I hate those people. I just want the bottle.

Could you bring me the bottle back? Imagine cutting a bottle back around the world. No. Not happening. Not happening. Good Lord. Not happening. All right. Now, Megan, you mentioned something yesterday in passing,

and we thought it was a little bit weird. Because it's not a big deal. It was just a throwaway comment. How did this even come up? It's because a friend of the show, Grace Palmer. That's right. She put on her Instagram story that her mum had bought her a pair of undies. What, are you saying I shouldn't be dragging her into this without her written permission?

It was on a public store. Yeah. So her mum bought her a pair of undies and they were like see-through in parts. Like real racy. Yeah. Like frilly. To her words, her arse would look like a wrapped ham. Like, you know, her ham comes in a net, sort of a netting.

Because we were watching the story and we were like, that's odd. Like, you know, her ham comes in a net, sort of a netting. Yeah, because we were watching the story and we were like, that's odd. I was like, Janine, that's her mum. Yeah,

you guys were all like laughing. I was like, oh, she brought her undies. Yeah, I was like, yeah, like,

it'd be all right if your mum turned up with like a five pack of Kmart, you know, briefs. Yeah, but not sexy knickers.

Not sexy, these were sexy knickers. Like, real sexy. Like, you could see through them. Yeah, like, you know that you're gonna, your daughter would, real sexy. Like, you could see through them. Yeah. Like, you know that your daughter would put them on and then, you know.

For friskiness. For friskiness. For friskiness. Parading around being all like, I'm sexy. Yeah. And we were shooketh, to say the least. And then Megan pipes in. She says, what's so weird?

I was like, well, look how sexy these undies are. Like, your mum shouldn't be buying you sexy undies. And Megan says, kind of verbatim here, my mum buys me frilly G-strings all the time. And we were like, no, she shouldn't. Let's go to the poll. On our Instagram, FEMZM, we put this up at 6 a.m. this morning. So we've had a few thousand votes.

We'll leave it up for voting's sake for the rest of the day. 76% of people said, ah, no. That's weird. I'm sick of being in the minority as such. Producers, Caitlin, your mum wouldn't buy you sexy knickers, would she? No, she always buys me, like,

the five pack from... Yeah, yeah. James, does your mum buy you sexy knickers? No. No. No. No. Don't knock it. Would you think it's weird

if your girlfriend's mum bought her sexy knickers? I would find that... I don't know. That's a weird question because, yeah, maybe it's a different kind of relationship

with them, so I could actually see that happening maybe because I know my girlfriend's mum always said if you've got it, flaunt it. That's what my mum says!

So that's why I sort of think I wouldn't be wrong. Does she say that because we've got your mum on the phone? Ray, Ray, good morning. Good morning. If you've got it, flaunt it. Definitely. She always says that to me. And you don't think there's anything wrong with buying your daughter sexy knickers?

No. Sometimes, you see, sometimes I buy them and with buying your daughter sexy knickers? No. Sometimes, you see, sometimes I buy them and I think, oh, they're quite nice. I might like them. And when I try them on, I think, nah, give them to Megan. Oh, so they've been. Oh, yeah. They've been on. So they're secondhand sexy knickers.

That just changes it. Changes it again. Mum. We've changed lanes. We've changed lanes. We've changed lanes. Do you give them a wash? Yeah.

Sometimes when she comes home, I look at the state of her undies and I think, oh, they're not going to survive the wash. Mum! We're taking our way out. We're taking our way out. Your mum buys you sexy undies Because you go home And your undies are in a

Like a terrible state She's like Where did you get these from? Oh they're a bit skungy You know we have real sexy stuff Here in Nelson Yeah I bet you Up on the hill

What was the last pair You gave me? Do you remember? Um No I don't actually Those blue lace ones Oh No I can't remember

I think she did actually say... I buy them so often for you, Megan. I buy you so many things I forget. I actually think she said she bought them and tried them on for Dad, and he said no. What was wrong? Why didn't Warren like those? The blue ones?

I can't remember, but my granddaughter thinks it's hilarious to have knickers that go up your bum. She's seeing it too. You're like, one day... That's the old thing, if you've got it, you've got to flaunt it. One day, Chloe, all of these will be yours.

Yep, definitely. Wow, okay. Thank you, Ray-Ray. Thank you. Have a great day. Ray-Ray, they're in Nelson. We're a very open family. I didn't know Nelson had so many sexy knickers stores.

Is she ordering them in? Is she online? No, she's... She goes in person. Yeah. In person. Good for your dad, though. Yeah.

Good for your dad. F.E.M. Z.E.M. A scientist has looked into the exact age when puppies are at their cutest. What are they, just born? That is great. I mean, that's good science. That's good science right there.

Yeah. But his hypothesis was right. So they thought that when a mum leaves its puppy, like that is the time it is most cutest to humans. So when like they're weaned off their mum and they're at their most vulnerable, eight weeks old, that is when humans find them the most. Is it because they're looking around like, where's mum and I'm well good. I'm well little, I'm well vulnerable.

Does that noise come into it or is it purely, it purely unlocks? No, everything comes into it. The noise, everything. But is that because over domesticated dogs, over years, we humans adopt them. So, I don't know. That is not as cute when they're older, though. It's when they're a little bit older.

Oh, really? My cuteness is when they're a few months old. No, the tiny little tail. Oh, no, they're a little bit older. Oh, really? My cuteness is when they're a few months old. No, the tiny little tail. Oh, no, they're useless, though. They can't chase a ball or look funny falling over. Yeah, that's when you would get a dog at two months, eight weeks old. That's when you, like, if you're getting it from a breeder. Is that how old they are when you can get them?

Yeah. Okay. That's when I got Leo. He was his cutest then. Got a little bit grey. He's got a bit yuck now, isn't he? Short and the tail's a bit funny. Oh, okay.

He's out of proportion to his body and his body looks a bit long. I'm allowed to say it. You're not allowed to say it. You're not allowed to dog chat. You're allowed to say things about Indy and August. I'm not, even though they're totally cute. Oh, thank you. But yeah, apparently there is an optimal age of maximum cuteness.

Do you think this applies for humans? I'm getting cuter, I think. I'd also say personally I'm getting cuter. I don't know. Yeah, I actually do think you're, oh, that's yuck to say. You've definitely got better with age, but that's only because you were so average earlier. I know.

That's the trick though, start average. Yeah, yeah. Start really average. It's bizarre because you hooked your really hot wife when you were like average. I can't explain it. Science has tried. This is why they've decided to do the cuteness of the puppies thing, because they can't work

out my situation. Like, try us, we're the world's best friends. Actually, what killed Stephen Hawking? Yeah. He thought about it too much and his computer overloaded. FEM. The Royal Wedding Saturday,

in case you didn't know. It's streaming as well, isn't it? All the big networks are streaming it. 7 on 3, 9 on 5 on 1. Yep.

Goes for hours. I think the actual procession is at 11. And then, oh, the procession's at 12. Get married at 11. I said to the kids, do you want me to wake you up?

Yeah. And see a prince marry what will be a princess. And they said, oh, just record it. What a great point. I was like, yeah. August was like, can we record it? And then he's like, yeah, we'll just watch it in the morning. How many?

Okay, great. I thought this would be like a kid's dream to see an actual princess and prince wedding. But sure. Okay. It's not Alistair, is it? I think yesterday you could hear the collective eye rolling of the entire planet Earth when Meghan Markle's dad was like, I'm coming. I'm not coming.

I'm coming. I'm not coming anymore. We're like, oh. God, dramas. But on the streets of Britain, there's footage showing officers taking sleeping bags and possessions of homeless people. So they're trying to shuffle them along.

Just go be poor somewhere else. Yeah, can you just move this away from where everyone can see? It's the classic Sydney Olympics. Remember when Sydney had the Olympics in the year 2000 and they filled up busloads of homeless people and shipped them off to some like abandoned outback town. Yeah, they said, you can live here,

we'll take you back when it's finished. Oh, that's really sad. I think I heard about this yesterday. People are, there's a bit of outrage. Yeah. But the police are like, what are you talking about, mate?

We'll put them back when we're done. Oh my God. Yeah, we'll bring them back in. Now, Producer Caitlin, the Fletcher Warner-Megan Royal Commemorative Tea Towel. We had one for the last royal wedding. Yeah. And we've sent away our design.

Okay. And we were told Wednesday for these tea towels. It's now Thursday. Yeah. I don't know where they are. Do we have a tracking number? We didn't get these on AliExpress. This is what I did.

I delegated it out there. Right. Okay, this is probably delegated. This is probably because we delegated it to you. I know. You delegated it on to somebody else, to which they've probably delegated to. Yeah.

A fourth delegation. I think they're coming. Yeah, okay. So let's just watch out for them. I just don't want people with drip dry, drippy dishes come Saturday. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. All right. Okay, well, hopefully tomorrow we'll have our Fletch, Vaughn and Megan commemorative Royal Tea Towels to give away. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Damn. I went to Fletch's house yesterday and I had something to put in the bin and I said, where

bits is your bin? Here we go. Classic. Here we go. So where bits is your bin? Because I hate trying to find other people's bins. You end up opening all the drawers. I know.

You're always just like, it'll be this one. It's got to be under the sink or right beside the sink, Abe. As a general rule, you don't put the bin anywhere else. Unless it's a standalone bin, then it goes at the end of the bench. Yeah. So I say, where's the bin? And Fletch said, plastic bag on the bench. I said, okay, you bet.

Where's your bin? You know I put things in there before, but generally I feel that that's just something you do when people are there, so they don't have to find the bin. Right. And I said, no, where's the bin? I don't have a bin.

And this is when I learn one of my best friends doesn't believe in a bin. It's not that I don't believe. Like some sort of monster. It's not that I don't believe. Like he's some sort of monster. It's not that I don't believe in a rubbish bin or having a rubbish bin because I would love a rubbish bin. I live in an apartment. There's nowhere to put the rubbish

bin. Get a freestanding bin. I told you yesterday. Freestanding bin. No. You put it just outside the kitchen. I don't want it. Then it's on the carpet. You don't have a bin on the carpet. That's not a thing. Why don't you put it in a cupboard? No room. Under the sink.

What if the sink's got shelves? Yeah, but is there any room under the shelf? No. Because I've seen you can buy the whole kits where they slide out. No, yeah. You can buy the things you drill up into the bottom of the bench. No. They slide out and then put them in the bin.

You say, oh, yuck, but you've got all your rubbish sitting on your bench where you make fruit. Does he, Megan? Because then I say, this starts a fierce debate. And I say, well, let's talk about what goes in there. Your Honour, for the record, I get out a plastic bag every day and I put it on the bench. And then I'll just put the things in there. Then what do you do with the plastic bag?

Then when I leave, because I'll leave the apartment quite a bit, either to the gym or to work or whatever i'll bring the rubbish bag put it downstairs in the in the rubbish bin room that's how it works that's my system so i say i know i start looking around because i'm trying to prove a point and i don't know if you know but i'm a bit of a dog of the bone but i believe i'm right so i start looking around, and I say, what about when the cat poops in the litter tray? Because you'd put that in a bag, right? In general, you'd tie the bag off and then put that bag in the bin. You wouldn't want cat shit sitting on your bench. What I do in the morning before I leave to work is I'll empty his litter tray

into the bag, and then I'll take it out. Straight away. Straight away. But what if he poos during the day? As a special trick to the bin. He covers it up.

You just leave it there? Yeah, just leave it there. Okay, so the cat sits in his own filth. No, he covers it up. It's a big enough litter box. So, listen to this one though. And I'm looking around.

Beside the cat, I see the vacuum. The Dyson stick. The Mike Hosking Dyson stick vacuum. I've got a Mike Hosking stick Dyson. I know.

Do you? Who have I become? And do you know what? Now I want a new vacuum cleaner I had to pay for mine Who are you? He gets his for free I had to pay for mine

I'm going to go steal his tomorrow While he's away Because he'll just buy another one It's in London for the wedding How much are these Dyson He's got It's a few hundred bucks Yeah it's a couple hundred

What's that to Hosking? Yeah Nothing An afterthought So I'm looking around And I see the D and I'm like, okay, what do you do with your vacuum cleaner bits? You know when you vacuum and it's got the dust bunnies

and everything and everything you vacuum up. Wait for it. I say, what do you do with that? I'm not incriminating myself on the radio. He flushes it down the toilet. Carl Peter Fletcher. It's just fluff. What's wrong with that? He flushes it down the toilet. Carl Peter Fletcher. It's just fluff. What's wrong with fluff?

He flushes it down the toilet. He lives in an apartment, not a new apartment. It may have had, since it was originally built, refurbished plumbing, but he flushes it down the toilet. Other things get in the toilet

we shan't discuss. Fletch? Nothing else goes down the toilet. He is a monster when it comes to flushing. Flushing is rubbish. So there's big dust bunnies and, like, hairballs. I don't always do it, okay? Sometimes I put it in the bag, but sometimes the bag gets dusty

and it's on the bench and I want dust going, so he flushes it. Oh, my God. Rubbish bin. I don't have anywhere to put the bin. There's got to be somewhere to put the bin. I don't have anywhere to put the bin. There's got to be somewhere to put the bin. I don't have anywhere to put it. There's definitely space. There's got to be space.

I would happily give up a half a day this weekend to install this bin. To install the bin. To buy a bin that fits. Right. That you're happy with and install the bin. Unbelievable. So you've got a bin. And you're not just some bloody 18-year-old

doing it in first year, living with a rubbish bag on your bench for a bin. You're a growing man. A growing man! One day the kitchen will get renovated and I'll get a bin. Until then... What a day.

Until then, you won't know what to do with yourself. It's not happening, is it? But you'll be like an old person who gets a microwave. No, I'm not used to using that, so I'm never going to use it. And it just sits there. I've got a microwave. I know you've got a microwave. Okay, another question.

Is it all right if you have leftover food? Instead of putting it in the bin, can you flush it down the toilet? No. I don't believe so. I have definitely not done that. You can't flush a ricey path or a plastic. You're not flushing a banana skin, are you? No, Megan, I'm not a monster.

Oh, okay. I mean, but, no, because, okay. Imagine a plumber coming around and having to plunge a toilet and be like, okay, is it banana skin, an apple core,

dust bunnies, a shampoo bottle? Here's my argument. Here's my argument. I sit down to have, for example, butter chicken. Oh, for fuck's sake.

I eat half of the butter chicken and basmati rice. You can't flush the basmati rice. The other half is on the plate and I flush it down the toilet. Why are you putting it in your food? You're saying that I'm going to poo it out. It's exactly the same thing, isn't it? It's exactly the same thing. It's it? It's exactly the same thing. It's just been in my body for 12 hours.

Why aren't you putting it in the fridge to eat the next day? You waste it. You shouldn't keep rice. You shouldn't keep rice, Megan. Seriously, no. Rice will give you salmonella. I always heat it up. Otherwise, then I've got to use the toilet, which you guys apparently don't like.

You are so wasteful and just... Do what I want. Oh, my God. Plus, there's a white fat content. White fat content in a butter chicken. That's just going to, like, make one of those fat bits. All right, then. I'll throw them in the bin from now on.

Thank you. But then I don't want it on the bench because it'll smell. Somebody said the only problem I've got with this entire thing is Fletch flushes his vacuum scraps but won't flush the cat poo. Oh, no, sometimes I will flush the cat poo. Oh, now he feels like he's got an ally so he's willing to come out and say it. That's poo. That's little nouns of poo.

I know, I'll agree with that. That's all that is. That's allowed. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, man. Did you have a point to this? Somebody said that must be what they do in the Naki because their partner's from Taranaki and they don't believe in using a bin and a lot of things get flushed down the toilet.

Do you know what? I blame my mum. She'd be like, food scraps down theaki and they don't believe in using a bin and a lot of things get flushed down the toilet. Do you know what? I blame my mum. She'd be like, food scraps down the toilet. I don't know. What? Food scraps down the bin? I don't know.

No, actually, because we have a compost. When I go home, I get told if I put mandarin skins in the bin, they've got to go in the compost. But I'm pretty sure she'd be a flusher as well for some things. Unreal.

What I want to know, where we're going with this. I'd love to know. I'd love to hear from people this morning. That maybe you want to dob in a mate. Or maybe you're willing to just ring up and bravely admit. You're doing without a household essential in your household. Oh, okay. Would there be a single house that didn't have a fridge?

What, just a jelly bean? A student flat definitely would not have a fridge. Do you reckon? But when you're a student, you inherit all the secondhand whiteware. It's a great excuse

for mum and dad to get new whiteware. Not always. Not all flats But Canadian flats aren't insulated.

Just leave it on the bench. Oh, yeah, that's it. From now until about like when you go home, you can probably leave

something on the bench. It's pretty much a fridge. Well, it can be colder outside the fridge a lot of the time, sadly. And outside, yeah. So we'd love to know, 0800-DOLLS-NM, text 9696,

what household essential is your household without, and you're okay with it? My mate doesn't have a broom. Never had a broom. A vacuum cleaner? Because I don't have a broom. You don't have a broom. I've got a broom, little one.

It's a mini broom that's been shrunk. A half brush and shovel. Yeah, one of those. I've got one of those. Actually, no, I've lost the brush. I've only got the... Because I dropped my Pyrex the other day. Have you ever dropped one of those?

Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's like an IED. A thousand bits. If I was Al Qaeda, I'd be burying those on the side of the road. Because those things do, they just go to dust. Oh, drop a Pyrex in a Westfield mall, you'll bring it to its knees. No one will be able to walk anywhere. There's a thousand bits.

See, I don't have a broom or a rubbish bag. Or a Pyrex jug anymore. No, yeah, or a Pyrex jug. Love a good Pyrex. Yeah, I know. They're great things. Anyway, if you don't have an essential household item, what are you doing without? 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696.

We're talking about what essential household item you're living without. Fletch doesn't have a rubbish bin, and to me that's madness. Okay, do you know what? There was, when I went to get that half-priced bakeware, the, what's that, rubbery stuff? Silicon bakeware. Yeah, which, by the way, burnt me. You know, it's still hot.

Fletch believed, this is another issue we're going to get into, he believed silicon bakeware didn't at all conduct heat. It remained at room temperature. I went to pick up the cake to take it out, and I was like, ow. But it's rubber, silicon. Blows my mind, that stuff. Like, why doesn't it melt in the oven? I don't know.

It is a space technology, right? Doesn't it blow your mind? Oh, it blows my mind. And it's still hot. But I would oven? I don't know. It is a space technology, right? Doesn't it blow your mind? Oh, it blows my mind. And it's still hot. But I would never assume it wasn't hot if it's been in the oven. Would you? Or at least give it a tap rather than a full grab. I mean, you're talking to the guy that grabbed a cast iron pan by the handle

after it had been in the oven for like two hours. So I'm a dum-dum, but I would never grab silicone. Right. Anyway, but when I was buying that, I was at Briscoe's. They were having a sale. Shock horror. They had rubbish bins. Like real nice standalone ones.

The ones that you stand on and the lever goes up. Real expensive though. Oh yeah. You can get a wavy hand one so you don't even have to touch your rubbish bin. Are you kidding? You wave your hand over the top and it opens. Oh, like those pad things they have in unisex toilets. Yes.

Because sometimes I'll just wave above that just because I'm like, wow. Because we don't get to use them. I use the force. I go, look, use the force. And then wave my hand over the tampon thing and it goes. Yes. Don't have one to put in you. And then they're like, Mrs. Smith, you can't come in.

This is a female toilet. It's unisex. It's not. It's got a girl's drawing on the door. That could be a guy wearing a kilt. Don't judge me. Anyway, so I was like, I was so close to buying a rubbish bin. But then I just don't know.

There's no nice place to put it. So it does my OCD, and so I haven't got a rubbish bin. What about in the bottom of your pantry? I don't have it in the floor of the cupboard. No. Silly place. Okay. Having a rubbish bin next to food, that's not a good idea, Vaughan Smith.

No, but it's like encased in a bag. Especially if it's a magic one. So we're talking about what you've been living without. Some text messages

in. I live in a small one-bedroom student flat, self-condained, no communal areas, but there's no kitchen sink, so I wash my dishes in

the shower. What? Come on. How can that be legal? That can't be legal. Can we tack that onto housing crisis?

Yeah, yes. Tack that onto housing crisis? Yeah, yes. Tack that onto housing crisis. How do you get water for the kitchen? For like anything? I don't know. The jug. To make things. My neighbour hasn't had a toilet or a shower for three years.

They just disappear around the side of the house with toilet paper. And they bathe under the garden hose. And I'm assuming wash their butt with the garden hose. He might have been flushing fluff. Yeah, it all blocked up. That could be the problem. Then he got banned

from having one. Or used as the public toilets in town. I mean, that's a sad sentence. That's grim. Come on. Yeah.

Somebody else said, I've lived without a jug for 18 months and now I'm not buying one on principle. When people want to come around

and want a cup of tea, I just heat up some water in a pot on the stove. I think you're going to say the microwave. The stove? That's real old school. Really old school. That's like 1800s or something. Someone said, I'm well into my 30s and I've never owned an iron.

I only use an iron twice a year when we go out somewhere. Nothing the decrease setting on the dryer can't sort out. Or you hang your clothes up in a steamy bathroom, right? Yeah, when you're having shower. Or I get my,

you get your shirts at the dry cleaners and then leave them hanging up in the bag. That's great for you and I who wear a college shirt once a blue moon, but for people who

regularly have to go to work in a college shirt. That's quite expensive, eh? That adds up. Ashley, what's the household item you're living without?

An oven. Ashley! Are you renting or item you're living without? An oven. Ashley, are you renting or do you own the place? No, we rent it, but it's just that the old oven's really gross, so we threw it out in January and we can't replace it. But I believe your landlord's obligated to provide you. It's one of the rules with a stove and an oven. Yeah, well, this is true, but we were like, oh, we'll just sort it, and then, yeah. Yeah, I say you'll just sort it.

But you're going to buy the landlord a new stove. Well, no, I'm taking that shit when I leave. But then what are you doing with his old one? Oh, he threw it off the balcony. You threw it off the balcony? Yeah. If you threw it off the balcony, you're not going to be able to take the new one with you when you leave? I feel like we can.

The old one was in pretty dice. Oh, but it was still there. It was still there. So besides the point, what have you been doing to cook food since January? Like every kind of stir fry under the sun. Oh, yuck. I like a stir fry once every month, but other than that, it's too many stir fries. Did you buy an electric wok?

Yeah, I did. Probably my boys. Okay. I mean, you sound super resourceful. I'll give you that. Yeah, you do. Oh, exactly. Just not looking for a wok.

Getting rid of the stove and the oven just sounds like a great excuse for takeaways every night. Yeah. What are you doing with the giant gaping hole where the oven and stovetop used to be? It's storing my little herb containers and my crock pot at the moment. Right, storage.

Ashley, brilliant. Crock pot too, so that takes care of having our own oven. It does. So thanks you, Cole Ashley. Have a good day. Thanks guys. Now, coming up on the show, this was huge yesterday. It's all anybody was talking about yesterday. I love when stuff just goes bananas. Real quick, real hot. Like the blue, black, gold, white dress.

It's the audio version of that. Now, you probably know what we're alluding to. If you haven't heard, it's an audio recording. It's done digitally. It's a voice... So the guy typed something into a text-to-speech pronunciation guide, and when

it said it, he heard one thing, and he's like, that's not what I typed, but the person near him said, what do you mean? That's exactly what's written there. And then they tested it on a slightly wider audience and everybody was split. So this is the audio. You will either hear, when you hear this, Yarny or

Laurel. Yarny. Laurel. Laurel. Laurel. Yarny. Yarny. Because I heard Laurel before and now I'm hearing, and I've always heard Yarny. But then I was hearing it on a laptop yesterday at a distance and it sounded like Laurel. Laurel before and now I'm hearing... Yanny. And I've always heard Yanny. But then I was hearing it on a laptop yesterday at a distance and it sounded like Laurel.

Of Laurel. I have not... I've only heard Yanny. I have not heard anything that even resembles Yanny. Laurel. You're a Laurel. Laurel. It's playing Yanny right now.

It's not. Laurel. Laurel. Yanny. My wife and I had a fierce argument about this because we were sitting right beside each other. How is it possible that human beings next to each other can hear a completely different word?

And, you know, we can have this argument about what you think you hear, but next on the show, we've managed to track down from America somebody who studies this. What do you call them? Did you write it down? She's studying audio. A neural basis of audio perception. Her name's Dana.

We're going to talk to her next. Right, yeah. She's doing a FID. FID. A PhD. A PhD in like hearing and sounds and stuff. And brains interpretation of things. She's been interviewed quite a bit in the news about why this

is a thing. And so we're going to talk to her so that hopefully if you're having an argument with someone, you can kind of... She can put it to rest maybe? She can put it to rest and we can understand why we're here. Especially if the person with the FID agrees with your point of view. That's always a great thing. Yes, isn't it? Backing you up.

It is now time though, and it's been weeks of voting to announce the winner of our food fight. Rations couldn't handle the heat of spicy tomato manchos. Oh, this is rigged. Rigged! The original cream egg was beats by a tasty chocolate fish a tub of jelly tip was more goody-goody than the gum

drops and kiwi chips and up with more cheery than cheerios Cheerios. Oh, I'm really upset that they lost. Now, we're at the grand final. Busted there with a po-ka-di-ka-di-ana stopped. Can I continue? That's a beautiful Kiwi treat in itself. Well, we started a couple of weeks ago. We took your votes on our Instagram, FBMZM. What is your favourite Kiwi treat? And we put treats up against treats. We put, like, savouries up against sweets, chocolates up against cakes.

There were no rules. There were really no rules. And from the go, there were some delicious foods and treats eliminated. Passed aside. Yeah. And the unstoppable force has continued its run. Yeah. Up against the wildcard entry due to a problem.

We just had to add a couple of them at a later stage. Cookie time cookie came in as a wild card entry late in the game and did well. It did well, yeah. A couple of wins. And then it came up against the Goliath. But David could not unseat Goliath this time. And Hot Chips, a little puddle of Hot Chippies, has taken out the food fight Kiwi treats edition.

A little bit emotional. Aren't you? You probably picked up on that. Yeah. This is also, from a quick look, the most voted upon round we've had in the big final. So how many total votes? 20,000 votes. 20,000 votes. And Hot Chips taking it out.

Percentage-wise, 77% of you voted for Hot Chips. Up against Cookie Time. Is that the biggest margin in the whole game? That's a lot of seats in Parliament, Megan. I'll tell you that much. Percentage-wise, no, it's not. There was the somewhere Hot Chips bet its opponent by 90% to 10%. But Hot Chips has just been unstoppable.

I mean, seriously, though, it's probably the cause of a lot of our obesity epidemic. Hot Chippies. Deep-fried carbohydrates. Oh, we love them. Covered in sugary red sauce. I went a year without eating them, and I didn't get that much skinnier, so I was like, bring them back. Don't exclude them from my life.

I love it without them. Look. So let's get back into some hot chips. What do we do now? Round of applause for the hot chips. Well, much like last when we did the fast food fight, we put on a big shout. Yeah, we put $1,000 on the Hamilton.

Tarapa BK, wasn't it? No, McDonald's. McDonald's, yeah. That wouldn't have got us any cheeseburgers. It would have, but not the McDonald's ones that won the competition.

So this year with hot chips being the winner, I mean, the good thing about this, you can do hot chips everywhere. Are you thinking we do another shout? But I'm thinking we don't limit ourselves

to one outlet. I think we spread the love. We spread it far and we spread it wide. You can get chips everywhere. The whole country voted, so the whole country needs... Let's not go overboard, Megan. I don't know. Antarctica.

Prepare for hot chips. Chatham Islands. Prepare for hot chips. Islands. Everywhere. Stewart Island. That we have once stuck a flag. Prepare for hot chips.

Cook Islands. Prepare for hot chips. Cook Islands. Prepare for hot chips. I will happily go to the Cook Islands. I'm going to go to Samoa and Tonga to represent hot chips. You know, after the Germans had them taken off them for being naughty. I'll go to the Gold Coast. You're right, that is a suburb.

Technically a suburb of New Zealand. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know when, but we are planning on a big hot chip Zealand. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know when, but we are planning on a big hot chip distribution. Yeah. At some stage. And if you voted, they're going to be free, by the way. No one's going to be paying a damned penny for a hot chip.

Not on my watch. Let's not promise too much. It'll be while socks last at a few outlets. Free chips nationwide. For everybody. If you guys want to pay the bill, be my guest. Promise big things. For everybody. Do you guys want to pay the bill? Be my guest. Promise big things.

Promise big and deliver. Mediocre. But whatever happened to our motto? Under promise, over deliver. You're breaking that motto, aren't you? One person's getting chips. One chippy. And they're getting one chip. How about that?

Now everyone's expecting one person to get one chip. Well, we're going to need a week or so to plan because we can't do this tomorrow. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then, you know, you want to have the weekend and then a couple of days warm up next week and then forget about it for a day and then have someone ask you

whatever happened to that hot chip thing you were going to do. You want to do it on a Friday because, you know, Friday's that day where you don't care so much about lunch because it's the weekend. And you need a good base heading into the weekend. Yeah, exactly. A good starchy carbohydrate base.

So maybe we can do it then. Okay, let's say the nation feasts. The nation feasts next Friday. Damn it, they've said it now. It's locked in. Next Friday, the nation feasts. Okay. On Hot Shots.

TBC, TBC details. TBC, stay tuned. All right, next on the show, it's been quite the hot topic in the last 24 hours online. Yarny or Laurel? This is an audio clip that you either hear, Yarny or Laurel?

Laurel. Laurel. See, that's Yarny to me. We've got an expert on audio next to tell us why we're hearing two different things. So just to bring you up to speed, maybe if you've just joined in, joined the show, this is the audio that is dividing the world.

Laurel. Laurel. So you either heard Yanny or Laurel. Megan and I have been fluctuating throughout the day, haven't we? We've mostly been Yannys. We have heard a Laurel. And what are you, Vaughn? Only Laurel.

You're only, you've never heard anything other than Laurel. You're all trippers. So why is it possible that two people can hear a completely different thing? We're joined on the phone by Dana Bobinger, who is, and I've written this down, studying the neutral base of audio perception. Is that right or am I completely wrong? Neural basis. Neural?

What did I say? Neutral. Damn it. I'm trying my best to sound all smart. Yeah, it's not quite neutral. Not quite neutral. Not quite. We were trying to sound really smart.

Nothing's neutral about this, Dana, because people are having serious arguments over this Yarny or Laurel situation. That's right, yeah. Run us through what you know, what you study, and the whole deal of why people are hearing different things. Yeah, so I'm a PhD student in cognitive neuroscience, and I study auditory perception in the brain.

And yeah, this is making quite the stir. I was told yesterday that I should Google it because it was the dress, but for me. So yeah, I think that's basically true. It's a sound out there, a stimulus in the world that is ambiguous in some way. And like the dress was, it's something that you could interpret in a couple of different ways. And the brain is taking the information and having to make an inference about what's actually out there in the world. And what's kind of interesting about it and what I think the Internet likes about it is that there's something really kind of eerie and strange about sitting next to someone,

witnessing the same thing and then realizing that your interpretations of, you know, reality are actually totally different from each other. So what do you hear when you hear the audio? Laurel. I hear Laurel. What? When I was first told about it, yeah, I know. When I was first told about it, that it was, you know,

this great illusion, I listened a couple times and thought, like, oh, that's just a synthesized voice saying Laurel. That's not interesting. And then when I called in some of my lab mates and we listened again, and I realized that some of them actually heard Yanny, that actually maybe it was something interesting that I should think about a little bit more. So why can two people hear a completely different thing? This particular recording of this word is kind of ambiguous.

So it's a synthesized word. This particular recording of this word is kind of ambiguous. So it's a synthesized word, and it was actually intended to be Laurel, but it's not a perfect synthesis. It does some kind of weird thing so that it doesn't sound exactly like it would if a real person said it. And it's all about what the brain is kind of deciding is important and part of the speech bound and what the brain is kind of discounting as you know noise in the recording and so not paying attention to it. People kind of, brains have different thresholds. So someone like

myself and yourself, let's call ourselves two professionals who hear Laurel. We're right because that's what was written down right. Laurel I've not heard anything that sounds like Yanny and I've listened to it a thousand times. Well, there are some ways you can listen to it and try to kind of bias yourself to hear Yanny.

So in general, the speech sounds that make up Laurel have more energy in the low frequencies, and the speech sounds that make up Yanny have more energy in the high frequencies. So there's a few good videos, like on YouTube, of people actually going in and filtering the sound in different ways, either removing all of the high frequencies. So there's a few good videos like on YouTube of people actually going in and filtering the sound in different ways that are removing all of the high frequencies

and making it sound really a lot like Laurel and then removing all the low frequencies and making it sound a lot like Yanny. And that's the only way I could hear Yanny is if you kind of take out all of the low frequencies. Because I'm a Yanny, but I heard a Laurel when it was playing on a laptop at a distance. Yep. And I was like, whoa

okay, I'm going crazy. But I'm also like, I've worked in radio for ages, I'm half deaf anyway. Yeah, I'm wondering if I've damaged my hearing along the way. Yeah, that's another thing is I think it both depends kind of what the brain is kind of latching onto as being important but also what is making it up to the brain. So it could be

if you have some kind of hearing loss, either from, you know, noise induced or just normal high frequency hearing loss that comes with aging, that can kind of bias people in different ways. And also, you know, distance. So different frequencies of sound travel at, you know, slightly different sorts of, you know, intensities. Like you can basically distance kind of acts as a filter and can attenuate some frequencies. So that can make it more likely that you'll hear one or the other.

Also, I think it really depends based on the kind of audio setup you have, whether you're listening to kind of cheap, small speakers and headphones that can't really reproduce the low frequency sounds very well, making it more likely to be very gainy or whether you're hearing it over kind of really good quality speakers that can produce those low-frequency sounds that might make it more likely that you'll hear oral. But that isn't the full explanation. Right. Contribute.

So basically, get better speakers because it's yanny. No, get better speakers because it's longer. What an argument. Well, just don't get a computer to say it You suck Siri Yeah exactly Accents Yeah

Accents as well Hey Dana thanks so much for having a chat to us Yeah thank you so much for reaching out Laurel for life You know my head at the moment is a A swamp Well I was hearing Yanny and now I'm hearing Laurel, and then I go back to Yanny, and then I hear Laurel again.

Laurel. Yanny. Is it possible? And you're only hearing one thing, and then Caitlin's got some bad news. Just before we get to fact of the day, this is... I am rarked up. Well, you've made me rarked up. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm rarked up, so I needed to pass it on.

Our tea towels that we're getting made for the Royal event. The commemorative Royal tea towel. We did one for the last wedding. That we're going to be giving to people to wash their beautiful tea cups on Saturday night for getting their English pre-prints ready, tea ready, are not going to be sent to us today. We were supposed to have them at the start of the week, and now we're being told they've been pushed because they're really busy, and now we're not even giving them today. No one said the tea towel game was going to us today. We were supposed to have them at the start of the week and now we've been told they've been pushed because they're really busy

and now we're not even getting them today. No one said the tea towel game was going to be easy. Like, I'm sorry. This is like that time my friend and I wanted to start a t-shirt company. We're going to make t-shirts, bra. I always chuck a Made in New Zealand label on mine, regardless of where I get them from.

Like, this is going to be like the biggest call as well, but like, I could make it. I could make them, right of where I get them. This is going to be like the biggest call as well. But like, I can make it. I can make them, right? Cancel the order. I'll get a stitch out and I'll bloody start sewing. Cross stitch. No, you're just excited.

Don't do these things. I do this. It's just a print on a bill of detail. I get myself work. I get excited. Don't do it. We've got a royal wedding just a couple of days away. I know.

And it's making everyone upset. I just really want this to happen. Cancel the order. Who are these people? Rubbish. We're supposed to be paying just a couple of days away. I know. And it's making everyone upset. I just really want this to happen. Cancel the order. Who are these people? Rubbish. No, I don't know. We're supposed to be paying them. Well, don't.

We're not paying at all. At all. All right. Oh, get me on the phone. You really put this up. Lines at the airport and slow tea towel printing are two things in life that really get me going. Right now, though, it's time for... Fact of the day, day, now, though, it's time for... Fact of the Day!

Day, day, day, day! Okay, I've got everyone's a little wound up, but I've got something that's just going to settle us right down again. Whether or not you hear Laurel, whether or not you hear Yarny, whether or not you're T-shirts having, I've never heard, so I don't know what one that is. Whether or not your tea towels have been delayed or not. There's one thing we can all universally agree on.

Nachos are delicious. Oh, yeah. I love nachos. See, I told you. Leave it up to me to unite the people. I just get a bag of the Thai chili Doritos. Those are my nacho chips if I make a mincey nacho. Yeah, I'm with you.

I'm like, we live in 2018. There's no reason for a plain corn chip based on a nacho. No, yuck. Treat yourself. Well, do you know why nachos are called nachos? Because that is today's fact of the day. Because it's not your cheese. Nacho cheese.

Oh, my God. What's that? You totally forced that joke up. Oh, I messed it up. Oh, I messed it cheese. You totally forced that joke out. Oh, I messed it up. Oh, I messed it up. You totally like... It's nacho cheese. Oh, it's nacho cheese.

Nacho cheese. It's not your cheese. What is the joke? Why can't you have Mexican cheese? Because it's nacho cheese. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think it's something like that.

Oh, I've got to get better at telling jokes. That's not your cheese. That's not your cheese. What? That. It's not your cheese. It goes on, you know, that dish with the chips, the nachos. So, nachos are named after the man that invented them.

Okay. Nacho Libre. Ignacio Anyanya. Anyaya. Anyaya, that almost sounds like... Anya. Anyaya. His nickname was Nacho.

Oh. And one night, as history tells, as folklore goes, he was closing up his restaurant and a carload of ladies pulled into the New Mexican restaurant and said, oh, we're really hungry. We've got a bit of a drive ahead of us. Any chance of anything to eat? And he was like, well, kitchen's closed.

I could whip you up a little something, but I'm afraid it's only going to be what's left over. Okay. So they're like, that's fine. So he went in, fried them up some corn chips. So he made the corn chips. Yeah. Then and there. And then all he really had was cheese, jalapenos.

Yeah. And some spices. So he put the, he melted the cheese, poured it over the freshly made corn chips. Yeah. Sliced some jalapenos on top and took them out. And the ladies were like, these are delicious. What do you call those? And he said, nachos especiales.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not saying that right. It's his speciality. Nachos. Nachos especiales. Which means nacho special. Like, he made it. It's his special dish.

Wow. They loved it. Yep. And they told people about it. And people came to the restaurant and said, I hear you make the nachos especiales. Yeah, right. And so he's like, I tell you what,

we're going to drop the especiales off the back. Off the end of that. Just call them nachos. And they just became nachos. And when did white middle-aged bar owners start putting sour cream and bacon bits? And mints on them. Wow, I have no exact word on that.

Right. If you order nachos and don't specify you would want beef nachos, you can't be upset when they turn up with just cheese on chips because that's technically what nachos is. The nachos that we've come to know is beef nachos. And mince. Just growing up, it was mince nachos, wasn't it? How do you feel about chicken nachos?

Because I've had those a couple of times, and I don't mind them, but it's weird. What is it? Chicken? No It's like bits or pulled chicken or bits. Down for that That sounds amazing It's not as sloshy You need it to be a bit more sloshy

What does it break the chip? Is it too much weight on the chip? Yeah it can get a bit heavy. I would actually if I was in corn chips and this is just another idea I'm going to chuck out there I'd make a stronger chip, a thicker chip that maybe might be too much to eat just with a salsa. But I would

make it and market it as a special chip for nachos. Like it's extra thick. Yeah, like it's heavier so you can use it more like a spoon without it like, because you know, you get like a big nugget of cheese and you get in there but the weight's too much for the chip and it snaps the nacho chip. And then you've got to rescue that chip with another chip,

but then sometimes that chip can fall foul of the weight as well. Very true, very true. And then you've pretty much got to get the fingers in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a digger that's gone to pull a digger out of a hole and it's got stuck as well. And then you've got to just get your fingers in and get it out. So today's fact of the day,

nachos are named after the man that invented them. Ignacio Nacho Añeja. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do. Damn. Frances Bean Cobain is the daughter of Kurt Cobain, famous for Nirvana, in case I have to explain that to anyone. And Courtney Love. And Courtney Love, yeah.

Well, you do have to because Caitlin just said before, who's Kurt Cobain again? Just remind me. I know the name. Who's Kurt Cobain? I thought he was in The Beatles. I had to. I know that he died of an overdose.

No, he shot his head off with a gun. He died of an overdose of bullets. I had the same conversation with Toyboy yesterday. And then I was like, Nirvana. He's like, what are they saying? I was like, smells like team spirit. Hey, Jude. He thought it was smells like team spirit.

What about you, younger man? That makes sense, though. That makes sense because team spirit. Yeah. You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm cool, dude. I know.

Just checking. I've always found it so weird how much the guy from the Foo Fighters looks like the guy from Nirvana, though. Do you reckon? Do you mean, is his name Taylor? No, the drummer. Yeah, yeah, you're right. The drummer from Nirvana looks like the singer from the Foo Fighters.

Yeah. Looks like Dave Grohl. Sort of. It's crazy. It's like Will Ferrell and the guy from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They look the same. Megan just fell for that. Megan fell for that.

I don't get it. That was Dave Grohl and Nirvana. Oh, I thought you meant the blonde guy looks like Kurt Cobain. No. Oh, no. No. Taylor Hawkins. Yeah.

See, that's what I was saying. So, anyway. Anyway, I mean, you know, we've all grown up with Nirvana. Anyway, I've got lots of 90s grunge jokes if anybody wants to. No, we're fine for now. But there's some sad news has come out of this, because she's all grown up now. It's crazy.

Yeah. So she got married in 2014 to Isaiah. We don't really know him. He's not famous. We don't know much about Isaiah. No. So they got married, and they were married for two years, then she filed for divorce.

Now, in the divorce, it's been finalized. She has had to give up Kurt Cobain, her dad's iconic guitar. So this is the guitar which he played in the MTV Unplugged performance. Oh, that was a great album. In 1993. It's a very iconic, famous performance. When did he die? What year?

94. Yeah, so this is, I mean, not long before he died. I think the year they did that in like 93 or something like that. And at the time it was worth heaps of money because it's a 1959 guitar. How the hell can he get that? Why would you take that from someone? Like that's your dead dad's guitar. The problem is, is that when you get divorced, anything that is a gift to you, you keep.

It doesn't fall under split your assets, which is why women get to keep their engagement rings. But why was he gifted that? He's claiming Francis gifted it to them when they got together. Oh, so she's just stupid. So he's like, well, it's a gift. I don't have to hand it over. But it being him, no matter what you went through,

you'd be like, well, this is your late dad, iconic guitar. Yeah, but you are also about to hand over or take away from that marriage a guitar with possibly millions of dollars. Well, it was that or she had to pay him $25,000 a month in spousal support. A month? Yeah. Oh, okay. For I don't know how long. What a jerk.

Don't take that off her. And he's in his 30s, so he would totally be aware of what that guitar means. Of this entire situation. Wow. Yeah, so she's lost that guitar. We better not, collectively as the world, see that on any, like, trade me's. Oh, I'll give it a week. Or a month.

All right. As will be, without a doubt. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6.