ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 17 2019

Episode Date: May 16, 2019

We launch Cha-Chingo Bingo, Friday Flashback and the preschool teacher had a few questions for Vaughan.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. What about if the avocado was eaten on nachos? Nacho chips? Still good. That's just very thin toast. Yeah, made of corn. So what are we meant to eat our avo on then? If not toast? A salad? A salad? Oh, yeah of corn. So what are we meant to eat our avo on then? If not toast.

A salad? Oh, yeah, salad. Yuck. Salad's the only other thing. I mean, you can eat it on lots of things, but most of it, bready. Yeah. Yeah. Very carby.

Yeah, very, very. It's a carby base. Very carby. Yeah, very, very. Needs a carby base. Very. I love it. Just goes with carbs so well. Yeah. I love how we talk like we're actually able to put avocado on anything at the moment. Yeah, they're like 10 bucks an avo.

Somebody sent me a hot link to Fruit King in Huntley. You know when you're driving through Huntley? Yeah. Fruit King. And there's that big green thing that says Fruit King on it. Yeah. Just past the Deca sign before the Top Twins mural. Okay.

I know where you are. That is the most Kiwi sentence you've ever said. You know, just pass the old Decker before the Top Twins mural. There's Fruit King. Apparently they had like two for $5. And they were fairly, they said that they saw it and thought it too good to be true. They went down and checked and they were pretty good. So I don't know where they are getting their black market.

Yeah. Right. Huntley is pretty much the Wild West. Right. That's a really good deal. Yeah. I don't know how long it was lasting for us. Almost would make you stop in Huntley.

It's just hard to stop in Huntley. Because you get onto that part of the road where you go past the Top Twins mural. You can only pull over when you get past there. You'd have to walk back to Fruit King. Yeah, right. Don't pull a U-turn on State Highway 1. Bloody madness. Alright, you lot, listen up. It's Storytime.

Alright, Storytime. Three news headlines that I've found for interesting, quirky, odd news stories. Vaughan and Megan deliberate and decide which story we delve into. Headline one, picking quarrels and provoking trouble. Headline two, intimate table service. And headline three, Airbnb surprise. I like the first one because I like the word quarrels yes

it's the first time I'd heard the word quarrels in a long time yeah it's a lovely word quarrels I think I'm just going to go for quarrels Megan is the Airbnb surprise a camera?

no oh okay yeah okay let's go quarrels. Because I can't be bothered quarrelling. Yay! No quarrels over quarrels. All right, well, a man who's 31 in China has been detained by police

for insulting law enforcement officers. Now, he has been given a 10 day detention or prison for picking quarrels and making trouble. So he's in jail for 10 days for quarrelling? Yes. Wow. He decided to name his

two puppies after a couple of officers. Now he named his four-month-old puppy a name which refers to city management officials and another younger pup which refers to traffic wardens. I'm giving you kind of like the translation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm imagining that it's in Chinese if it's in China, right? So I guess he was like, well, I'll be cheeky and name my dogs. So he didn't like, there was no derogatory term in there. He didn't abuse them. He didn't like get up in their face and swear at them.

He just named his dog Traffic Warden and the other one City Official. Yes. And they're like, we aren't dogs. Yes. And now he's in prison for 10 days. Because he was picking quarrels and making trouble. That's a thing in China. Wow.

Shivers. I mean, that's what you do every day. I'm always quarrelling. I'm always quarrelling. Man, I go looking for quarrels. You get quarrels all over the show. Yeah, sometimes I just watch other people quarrelling to get my fix of quarrels. Okay, that's worrying, China.

Yeah, had been posting the, I guess, the pictures of the dogs and the comments and the names on WeChat. And, of course, they saw that. Because they, you know, they monitor everything. Wow. That's crazy. I mean, that kind of oppression's just going to, that's going to be great for a nation, isn't it?

Nothing bad on it. It's low-level government. Like, he's insulting low-level government. How much are they monitoring it when they're picking up some guy who's named his dogs after the parking wardens? Yeah. They must be monitoring everything. I better warn Ian and Christine because they're off to China soon.

Oh, God, really? Yes, they're going on a Wendy Wu trip. You know, you hear Wendy Wu advertised? You hear the ads, yeah. My parents are the people that are buying them. My goodness. They're going on a Wendy Wu trip. You know, you hear Wendy Woo advertised? You hear the ads, yeah. My parents are the people that are buying them. My goodness. They're going on a Wendy Woo trip. Isn't that a great advertisement for radio advertising? Well, they haven't been yet.

Oh, yeah, but they've already bought the trip, haven't they? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's a radio advertising. I just went to the travel agent. Wendy Woo, mate. Right. I've heard that name before. It's probably on the radio. Oh, yeah, they do extensive radio advertising, don't they. Oh, I've heard that name before. Have you ever heard that? It's probably on the radio. Oh, yeah, they do extensive radio advertising, don't they?

Yeah, I guess radio does work. So that, but they're going on Wendy Wood. Mum said to me the other day, this is, by the way, quite lovely. Right. Did you know China's got no internet, Vaughan? You said that? I said, what are you talking about? She said, oh, I've just, I've heard that they've got no internet.

So we won't be able to send you photos and everything while we're over there. I was like, they do have an internet, Mum. It's like really heavily censored, like the areas you can go to and the pages and everything. You have to install a VPN on her iPad or a... She won't want that because she'll hear this story about the quarrel and with the dogs and she doesn't know what a VPN is and she'll freak out. She doesn't want to end up in Chinese prison.

Because you can't get onto Facebook if you visit China. No. What's the Chinese? Weeboo. Weeboo. Weeboo is the Chinese equivalent, yeah, but like you've just heard, quite heavily monitored. Yeah. Yeah.

So I don't, I think. We better get ourselves in some trouble over there. I think she can still email. I think Christine will probably just go on an internet. She'll just go dark. She'll just go dark for when they were in China. And then when, because they go to Thailand on the way back. Oh, she'll pop up online.

She'll pop up there. She'll do some poolside Facebooking. Yeah. She'll email a couple of photos through. I'm like, put them on Facebook, mum. No, no, no, no, no. People will think I'm bragging about a holiday. I'm like, yes, that's why we're all on Facebook.

Yeah. Instagram, so we can report. That's how social media works. Yeah. I don't think mum's even put a photo on her Instagram yet. She just sends love heart replies to all my stories on Instagram. Unless I've got square words in them, then she says, watch your mouth. Jeremy Kyle, the TV show

has been cancelled permanently it's done that's been on for years hasn't it like when did that come out first come out Jeremy Kyle

I'll google yeah I don't know and it would have been out much longer than we've had it in New Zealand because we would have picked it up after Jeremy Kyle first started

in 2005 wow okay and his brother lives in New Zealand, doesn't he? Is it his brother? One of his relatives. One of his relatives lives in New Zealand? Yeah, it might be his brother, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I remember that, someone saying that.

So, Jeremy Kyle, it's been cancelled and he could walk away with a three million dollar, three million pound, they call it a golden handshake, right? Because his show was cancelled. Sorry. Sorry to jump back in there.

Right. Nick Kyle. His brother? Yeah. Right. He was the head of technical at a festival something. Right. A festival company.

Okay. The New Zealand Festival. So if you have missed the news, someone appeared on the show and we've all seen how the show goes. If you're maybe the person who's complained about, you get berated often on the show. And this person left the show. They failed a DNA test or a lie detector test. And afterwards they took their own life.

And it's terribly tragic, horrible situation. And I think one of the things that everyone's upset about is Jeremy Kyle hasn't come out and said he's sorry. Sorry for the situation. Sorry for any of it. Because obviously he's not fully to blame, but he could make a comment and say this is a horrible situation. He hasn't commented. So he could walk away with three million pounds because the show was cancelled.

One of the biggest TV shows in the world. This would have been syndicated around the world. The media in the UK are calling it the empire that cruelty built. Yeah. Because he's got a mansion, he's got a holiday home in the Bahamas. Yeah, three million pound annual salary. What was his background before he started hosting this?

Does anybody know? Like, was he just in the right place at the right time? Like, they were like, we need a person to host a show that's going to be effectively, because it was the UK's version of Jerry Springer, right?

Jerry Springer was the first original show that did these sorts of, and Maury was the Canadian version, maternity test, lie detector tests. Someone was the bad guy. They got caught out in front of an audience. We all pointed and went, oh. But it's surprising it's taken this long for this to happen. Yeah. Because, I mean, reality shows lately, they've been overseas.

Is it UK Love Island? They've had some... It's so interesting you should mention that because people are saying ITV, same company, double standards because they've cancelled

Jeremy Kyle but they're doing Love Island again and a contestant from Love Island took his own life as well. Because I think this is a wake up

for reality TV shows is you go on there, you can't control how you're betrayed. And then the public has something to say about everyone. And they don't monitor how they're being bullied on social media. They don't. Well, you can't monitor social media from that end of it. And Jeremy Kyle's show would always say that they would look after and we're going to work with this couple and take them through counselling afterwards

but how much does that are they doing one session with them and then leaving them? that's reality TV yeah like every reality TV show says that but you hear from so many contestants that are like oh no we never heard from them again

yeah they wash their hands of them yeah they're portraying these people however the heck they want to and hanging them out to dry and then leaving them alone afterwards and social media has that. Hence, don't ever go on a reality

show. Yeah. Or be nicer to people online. Just, yeah. Don't judge people. Just don't personally attack people that you don't personally know. Yeah. I guess. So Jeremy Kyle, background, he was a life insurance salesman.

Then he was a recruitment consultant and then he sold radio advertising. Then he became a radio presenter. And he did a night show and he did a couple of features on there, late and live, Jez's jukebox and Jez's confessions. And that's Jez's confessions was where he started getting a taste for the juicy stuff. Right. And then that evolved into he won a couple of awards for that and then that evolved into the Jeremy Cole

show when they needed someone to host the show of the silk. Wow, okay. They approached him and he's been doing it for that many years. I always thought that he was like some kind of counsellor or some kind of professional. No. Okay. You want to know his net worth? I always thought that he was like some kind of counsellor Or some kind of professional No okay Want to know his net worth

It would have gone down because remember he Hooked up with the nanny That's right But wasn't that after his wife hooked up with their next door neighbour That's right And he was her equestrian instructor That's right he was an episode of his own show Yeah

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast A Austrian instructor? That's right. He was an episode of his own show. Yeah. That's right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I am absolutely shocked. Fletch is just learning that when you're a baby now, when you're born in New Zealand, you are automatically assigned an IRD number. Oh, God. I was dodging tacks when I was a 13-year-old.

You know? Well, did you have to apply for one? Because I can't remember. I think I always had one because my parents were dairy farmers. Hey, dairy farmers. Wink, wink. You know what I'm talking about. Running a few things through your kids' names.

All those poor kids at school and uni, those dairy farmer kids who couldn't afford, you know, and got a student allowance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because their parents didn't earn any money on paper, but they were all, like, trusted up and driving outies. That annoyed me so much because I couldn't get an allowance. It was unreal. All these, like, yeah, because their parents didn't need any money on paper, but they were all like trusted up and driving outies. That annoyed me so much because I couldn't get an allowance. It was unreal.

All these rich farm kids were like milking it. That was the only thing I said to my parents. Milking it. Why aren't we? Good one, good pun. I was like, why aren't we doing this? Like, why aren't we? Feels like this is primed for us.

Can you be putting money away so it makes it look like you've gotten out and then we can get a student allowance? Can we do that? They were like, no, we're not big enough. I'm like, wait a minute, so we're not rich enough to pretend we're not rich? Exactly. I was like, amazing. You get stuck in the middle.

Stuck right in the middle of it all. So you get, I don't know when we would have got an idea. I think when you got your first job, maybe you applied for one. And I got one when I did a, I don't know, a paper run or a milk something. Do you know yours off the top of your head? Benny, nah. Yeah, I do. Do you?

Yeah. I know all my numbers. Yeah, you do. I know my driver's license number, my credit card. That was, you had to learn that, though, because your ex-husband used to hide your credit card. Yeah. So then you had to come up with this number kind of. This powerful number

brain. I mean I can't divide or do anything with the numbers. You're like a Rolodex. Versus a calculator. Now when you're born, you get an IRD number. Automatically. I sign an IRD number. There is no escaping the tax department. No. So there's been a whoopsie. There's a

new tax computer. They installed it a couple of months ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because some people got it. Didn't Mr. Toyboy get an extra payment? I told you not to talk about that anymore because they might want it back. It was a payment from the IRD and we were like, mine now. Famously, the IRD doesn't ask for money back unless you talk about it publicly.

On your radio show. I think it's bigger fish to fry. Have you spent that money or is it sitting there? What do you think, Fletch? Oh, Megan, cry. Why don't you get it in and then be like, oh, we're going to stash that away for a rainy day. You'll come to work next week and be like,

we've got to pay the money back that was wrongly paid to us. But can I pay it off? No. They'll probably charge you interest too. Oh, yelch. Good fun dealing with the IRG. Especially when it was their mistake in the first place. Well, I saw this on Facebook last night

somebody, I know from back in the day, put up a photo going what do I do with this? And their six month old baby had been sent an income tax statement. Saying that they basically had to declare any income that they'd made.

Yeah. Yeah, the people were like... I saw three parents or friends on Facebook that have kids that shared this exact letter. What do I do with my two-year-old who's got a letter from the IRD? Maybe my two-year-old should have a job. Useless.

Always leeching. Yeah. Leeching off the teat. Sleeping all the time. Going to bed early. Eating. Shitting in their pants. This is a lazy child.

It is, yeah. So the Inland Revenue has admitted sending tax notices to an unknown number of babies. Oh, it's got to be thousands. How much does this cost? Because you think each letter's got to be posted and printed out. Printed, posted. Someone's got to put them in.

Sent out. It's not cheap to send letters in the actual mail now. No. But it's not only the babies that have been getting them. People on superannuation have been getting them as well. So like really old people who don't have an income. And they're getting it. And that can be quite confusing for them.

Is this just a ploy to get more money from us? Like trick us into accidentally donating. Yeah, or something like that. I don't know. I don't know. But if you've got a baby and they've just received a letter from the IRD, don't panic.

Or if you've got an old person. If you've got an old person. If you've got an old person. A retired old person. Yeah. Tell them not to panic. Or tell them you'll take care of it just to get them to write a blank check. And make it out to cash. I think that's called stealing off your parents.

Is it? Yeah. Technically, is it stealing if they're your parents? And if they gave it to you? Because when you're like an eight-year-old, if you stole money out of their wallet, it was kind of cute. Now they're in their 90s and you're like 58. Yeah.

Isn't this cute? It's still cute. It's still cute. It's still cute. You're going to be able to pop down to Bunningsone for a snag and some bread. Maybe onion, depending on who's running the charity. Yeah.

Always says to me, these are some people who are serious about taking their sports team overseas if they've splashed out for a brown onion. This isn't just some, maybe we want to go, maybe we're just doing this for the sake of it. Sliced, not chopped. I hate chopped onion on your sausage. Oh, no, you've got to have it sliced. Sliced, yeah.

Because if you have it diced, it falls out too easy. It goes everywhere. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, there was that old rigmarole about them falling out of the sausage onto the ground and becoming a slipping hazard. That's right. So there's that. But you're not only going to be able to get a $1.50,

maybe $2 sausage as a fundraiser. You're going to be able to buy a flat pack house. That's right. Not a flat pack TV cabinet, not a flat pack bookshelf or a weird coffee table. A flat pack house. I mean, those like cabinets and stuff, they take a long time to put together. Yeah. Because you've got to

look at the diagram and there's always like three screws or things left over. Yeah, and if it's your house, you don't want anything left over. My biggest problem is on those ones, I don't use a screwdriver to put them together. I put a screwdriver piece in a drill. Yep. And so I'm just like,

putting in them real quick. And one of them will always be like, and it will go in so tight, it like cracks the wood. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, Impatient smithy. Yeah, I know. That's my impatience.

I need to turn down the drill intensity. But you're going to be able to buy a whole house as a flat pack, starting at $69,000. So you've got to get a professional to put this up, right? Like a builder. Or what do you do? Just put up like a wall at a time and then like walk out. And do you have to own land?

Like where are you putting it? Oh, I know. Yeah. Well, you got to own land. You got to have the consents. You've got to do all that. But it's just the building process itself makes this significantly cheap because $69,000 is your small two-bedroom.

And then it can go up to a four-bedroom house for $113,000 plus just. So if you had some land, would you need to put down a concrete slab? I'm not 100% sure. It looks like it's set on a concrete slab. The artist renditions they've got. And they sold 50 of these in New Zealand last year. Like the Bunnings trade. You know how you go into like Bunnings, Bunnings,

and then next door is where all the tradies go? Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't ever go in there because it looks hard out, bro. Yeah. Well, it's a different game in there. You walk in there and you're like, oh, I... Oh, those people are serious. Yeah.

This is a boots area. Yeah. You've got to go find some those people are serious. Yeah, this is a boots area. Yeah. You've got to go find some boots to put on. Yeah, right. And there's people being like, hey, mate, got any of that bloody H32 tantalised timber? Hey, mate, how much do you want of it? Well, I need bloody 52 lineal metres.

Oh, yep, good on you. No, pack the truck up over here and we'll bloody get it on. Just go talk to Cheryl over there with your docket. It'll be a little honky-dory. What's the difference between a normal meter and a lineal meter? Well, so I learned this because my dad said we'll need this many lineal meters and I was like

Dad, I'm 32 but I have to ask. What's a lineal meter? Yeah. And so you do square meters. That's a meter by a meter is a square meter. So you order things by the square meter. But a lineal metre? Yeah. And so you do square metres. That's a metre by a metre is a square metre. So you order things by the square metre. But a lineal metre, I'm probably going to be wrong

because I've forgotten what it was. But when we're building the deck, it's if you put it end to end. Because a piece of decking is that wide. So you say the decking is going to be this many square metres, but because each plank of wood is that long. They can base one dimension.

Yeah. So yeah. So he works out how many linear metres per square metre and then you order it by linear. So just the average Joe is just a normal metre? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

But it's the width and everything varies. Why do you need to say that? Because square metres are different than metres. Because you're a bloody tradie, mate. You're saying choice. You know, you're a bloody tradie, mate. You're saying choice. You get that, you pull out tape measure.

Or you've undone all that work. Real long and then you just let it go. You're like, click. Winds up. And it hits your finger and you're like,

We always got told off for playing with dad's tape measure. Yeah, same. Because you'd wind it out and you'd let it go in real fast. Yeah. Dad got one for his birthday once and we... What?

Tape measure. From who? Happy birthday. Here's a tape measure. Sweetheart, here's a tape measure. Oh, my dad always gets stuff this year and gets a ladder. He just likes stuff that he can use. There's no point buying him anything else.

Right. You're buying him things he can practically use. And one year he got a new one and we called them snail races because you know they look a little bit like snails. So you hook the two ends and you drag it out to eight metres as its maximum and we raced his old one versus his new one. The new one was so tightly sprung, when it hit the end, it broke. Were you like, mum, fill up, do that.

I think I had to forego my birthday present, which is a month after my dad's, to buy my dad, or part of it, to buy my dad a new tape measure. And I got a good kick in the arse for the measure. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank,

this is the Top Six. Oopsie. Uber is going to be trying a new mode called quiet mode for when you're not in the mood to talk. When you don't want to talk to the driver. You know those situations. Yes, you're just not in the mood. It's just sad now that they've labelled it a thing

and you actually have to push a button and say, I do not want to talk to you. That's sad. But sometimes they don't get the hint. You know, that you don't want to talk or that you just want to just lie back, have a half nap. Just relax. Just relax. Just not have to talk.

Because I think some think that the chat's going to mean a better rating. So this is just more or less letting them know. If you don't talk to me, you'll get five stars. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So these are the options. That's an option.

And these are the top six other buttons that I think Uber needs while ordering. Number six, the don't judge me for my drive-thru order app. Button. Sorry, the order button.

So you go through, there's only you. They know there's only you. Yeah. I mean, the person running the drive-thru maybe thinks that you're buying something for the Uber driver. You're not. It's all for you. You're getting a family pack. Yeah.

I'm a family of one, okay? And then as they pass it across to you, you just get a little snide and you don't need that. So you don't want that. You let them know before pick-up there will be a drive-thru and no, there won't be any judgement. Thank you. Number five on the list of the top six new buttons Uber needs. The I might fart on this Uber drive.

So if those window buttons could be unlocked, that would be great for me. That's one you need. A little gassy. Maybe you've been eating somewhere where you know afterwards there might be some expulsions. I've had an Uber driver fart. Oh, he farted. Yeah, he farted.

Did he whine down the window? Nothing says I farted in the car like. Oh, he farted. Yeah, he farted. Did he wind down the window? Nothing says I farted in the car like I said a window wind down. No, he did, but it was too late. It was already in your face. Did he apologise? Did he say anything? No, he didn't say a word. Didn't say it.

Didn't reference it. Well, if you're in the back, the window also just blows the fart air into your face. If I was an Uber driver, just wind a window down and be like, oh, meat works. In the middle of town. We're in the middle of the city, sir. We're literally in the middle of a national park. Yeah, exactly. Oh, meat works.

Oh, meat works. Or a stock truck. Oh, poor. Number four on the list of the top six new buttons Uber needs, the I'm a local, I know the quickest way, don't you bloody try it button. Mind you, Uber. That was a taxi trick. That's a taxi trick Uber kind of agree

To what they're going to charge you Before they pick you up Yeah and they normally Just take the shortest way Because they don't want to be Any longer in their car No they've got the app going on But every now and then

You'll be You say That apps lead you astray There's a better way But taxi drivers Could be cheeky back in the day Oh yeah Oh you're visiting are you

And even if I was Was visiting I'd be like No just back home. Yeah, I know. We've got to go across the Harbour Bridge to get into the city. Aren't we already in the city? No.

Got to go across the Harbour Bridge. Stay right there. Number three on the list of the top six new buttons the Uber app needs is you better have Lollies button. That's where, you know how some Uber drivers are rocking Lollies? Yep. To get that five-star rating. You push a button, you're how some Uber drivers are rocking lollies? Yep. To get that five star rating. You push a button, you're only going to get one

with lollies. Good. That's a good deal to have. Number two on the list of the top six new buttons the Uber app needs is can we just agree to have five stars both way buttons? Yeah. Let's just agree before we even meet. Yeah. To give each other great ratings. Yeah, that's a good one. It's a big roll of the dice though. Yeah.

And number one on the top six new Uber buttons that Uber needs is that, yes, I need picking up from Fletcher's house. Yes, I know I got dropped off about an hour ago. And yes, I know I'm one of many. And no, I don't want to talk about it. Just take me home, Matt. Oh, unbelievable. If we're talking about Uber, how's your Uber rating?

I don't know how a recent Uber trip with a certain ending affected my Uber rating. That's a very good question. Do we know about this? No, we don't talk about it. No, we don't talk about it on here. But if we're going to start slinging around in the roundabout the other day. We're going to start slinging some accusations. That's not against me.

Still great. 4.83. Even after the vomiting. Even after the vomiting. That's good. Amazing.83. Even after the vomiting. Oh, wow. Even after the vomiting. That's good. Amazing. That is today's top six. Taylor Swift has returned to The Ellen Show for the first time in like four years. And she has made an admission of what she does in her sleep.

The next morning, we just, we walked downstairs and we're like, what happened here? And I don't remember. Does that help you sleep if you eat a whole lot? It's not really voluntary. Oh, do you sleep eat? I think so. I don't really remember it, but I know it happens because it could have only been me or cats.

Right. So she goes downstairs, finds an absolute mess in the kitchen and she's like, hmm. Like I've heard of sleepwalking and we've talked about sleepwalking on the show before.

People like end up wandering around the neighbourhood. Yeah. Never, you know, have no recollection until their partners are like, hey, caught you down the road again. Just like, what?

You can't really chain your partner in their sleep to their bed. Yeah. You can if they ask you to. Yeah. If it's consensual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's sort of a mutual agreement between consenting adults. But I've read recently a lot of people are saying they sleep in

and they're just not aware at all that they're doing it. I sleep shop sometimes, although I'm awake, but it's like, you know that point where you're awake but not really, and then the next day you don't remember until you've got the confirmation? You're like, whoops. It's quite a bit like eating's very primal, and walking, very primal, functioning of the brain. Shopping online. It's very primal. Walking, very primal. Functioning of the brain. Shopping online.

It's very primal for me. Like a big load of BS and you're just trying to justify your purchases to Mr. Toyboy. I don't know what happened. I woke up and I bought things. I sleep shopped again. No, but they're not always things I want. I'm like, you could have at least bought something that was on your watch list. Come on.

But is it when you're lying in bed, falling asleep? No, you wake up in the night and you're like, I can't get back to sleep, maybe. And then you've got no recollection the next day. Nah. Unbelievable. It's only happened maybe three times.

That's so weird. Yeah. But I bought a pair of sunglasses that I never wear because I don't really like them. That's so weird Yeah But I bought a pair of sunglasses That I never wear Because I don't really like them That's bizarre Yeah Because it would be better If it was things that I'd like Already had on my watch list

That I knew I liked Yeah right Or something expensive And then I'd be like Oh whoopsies But why do you think You bought them in your sleep I don't know

Maybe my subconscious Thought that I'd look great Maybe your subconscious Doesn't have as much Fashion sense as you Yeah right Maybe your subconscious doesn't have as much fashion sense as you. Yeah, right. Yeah, your subconscious is still like that girl from Nelson who wants to just chuck on a pair of Etnies

and go for a cruise in a Subaru Forester. Ouch. That was also Megan once. Yeah, I know. That's what she says. She's evolved, but it's still in there. It's still in there. What has happened?

It's still in there. I can imagine going in there, but wouldn't going in the fridge, you open up the light, wouldn't that wake you up? You'd think so. You'd think so, right? Nah, because you can have a light on. Someone can turn a light on and turn a light off when you're asleep

or take a photo of you and the flash goes off and the light doesn't wake you up. It all depends how deeply sleeping you are, I guess. It's just unfair because you're not enjoying the calories that you've, you know, consumed. Yeah. Well, you've done this. Sleep shopped.

Yeah. Can we take some calls? If you're listening, what have you done while you've been asleep and you have no recollection? Okay. Until maybe the next morning you've seen a mess or your partner's found you down the street or at the fridge. Yeah. Maybe we do have some sleep eaters listening to the show or some sleep walkers.

And how often does it even happen? Some other sleep shoppers? No one would sleep drive, would they? I don't know. You would certainly hope not. You do that thing where you start driving and you start thinking about something else and then you're at your destination and you're like,

oh my gosh, I don't remember driving here. But sleepwalkers obviously have their eyes open. Yeah. But they're still asleep or it's weird, isn't it? I don't understand it. I don't know.

0800DARLS.M Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, by the way,

don't forget if you're getting ready for work, it's Pink Shirt Day. Standing up to bullying. Cod and I have been selling these with the proceeds going to the cause for hashtag PinkShirtDayNZ. So chuck a pink shirt down and stand up to bullying, saying that you're not going to stand for it,

even though you're standing up for it. You won't stand for it. Cod and I might have one before work or on your break, although at some places... They're very low on stocks. I saw on the Pink Shirt Day website before, they're very low on stocks. So everybody's pre-purchased, which is great news.

All right. Taylor Swift has admitted on Ellen that she sleep eats. She will go to the fridge, eat, and then in the morning be like, someone's been in the fridge. Yeah, it's not even like a midnight snack. She doesn't know she's doing it. Yeah. So we want to know from you what you've done sleeping.

Some text messages in. My son sleep wheeze most nights. Never in the toilet though. Always just in a corner of a room or a weird spot. Really? Yeah. The first time he did it was when we were on holidays overseas and he wheezed on a suitcase full of clothes.

It's just been happening in different places ever since. Gets out of bed, I guess. Weird that he can't get up and go to the toilet. Like, you obviously know you need to go. The motor function. Yeah, right. Yeah. Somebody else said they woke up in the morning

and their flatmate was on the couch, not in his room, and he'd been having a sleep beer. He can't remember anything about it. Sober before he went to bed, woke up, and he was having a beer on the couch. Rebecca, what have you done while you were sleeping? When I was between like six and eight years old, mum tells me that she'd quite often hear noise in the middle of the night

and she'd get up to see what it was. And it would be me wandering around the house. And I would be in the wardrobe with my pants around my ankles. Or I'd be out the front door halfway down the driveway and pulling my pants down and one night mum heard this huge crash in the kitchen and I had

opened the fridge and was scaling the shelf. So you knew you had to pee and you're like trying to find somewhere to go. I was still asleep apparently because mum would say Rebecca what are you doing? And I wouldn't respond and I had this glazed over look on my face. Oh God, you'd think you were in a horror movie, eh? You'd take a pill.

You'd climb in the fridge and take a poo in the butter conditioner. Oh my God. Thanks, Rebecca. Amy, what have you done sleeping? Hi, I normally put arrangement, arrange things. Normally when I'm stressed or sick

and one of my biggest things woke up and on my study desk back at uni, I had stacked seven minties on top of each other. So you like sleep arranged. It's like when you say you're stressed, is it like anxiety? Like you've got to get everything in order and you kind of subconsciously start arranging things. Yeah. Do you remember those felt tips, you know, that clip into each other?

Yeah. It used to be all the rage. Yeah, once I'd clip them like vertically and they were just lying in a big line along my floor when I woke up. Were you just like, who's been in my room? Yeah, at first it was like, this is so weird. And then when I spoke to my mum, she was like, oh, you used to do this when you were like really little.

And it just kind of came back when I started university because I guess you're stressed and you're always sick because you're a student. Wow. And were you surprised when you woke up and saw seven minties stacked on each other? Absolutely. Yeah.

That was like amazing. I leave myself tasks. I'm like, I'm going to leave these out and see how they are in the morning. Leave it like a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle scattered around. It would be way better if the assignment was done. That would have been helpful. Oh, yeah, totally.

You should set up a night vision camera if you ever start doing this again. Yeah. Just so you can at least get a YouTube hit out of that. Just an idea. Or a sequel to Paranormal Activity. Thanks, Amy. Hannah, what did you do while sleeping? I just woke up on the kitchen floor eating a banana.

So you woke up yourself. Nobody else woke you up? Yeah, no, I just woke up and there was like a little stair that goes down into the kitchen and I was just sitting there. Nothing else had changed. The only thing that I was changed was obviously sitting in the kitchen eating a banana. Is it it weird?

Because they always say you're not supposed to wake up someone who's sleepwalking. But is it like quite jarring to be like, what? Where am I? Yeah. Yeah, it was. It's a good banana though. I was going to say, maybe your body was like, this is a delicious banana. Hey, conscious, wake up.

I need potassium. Enjoy this potassium. Thanks for your call, Hannah. Ask some text messages. So we've had a few text messages of people who, whilst fully asleep, engage in activities with their partner. A couple of people said they have engaged in solo activities, but fully asleep. Some people have woken up midway through the act of lovemaking

with their partner. Somebody specifically said they kind of have woken up halfway through and then afterwards say, that was pretty loose for you to kick it off in the middle of the night like that. And the partner's like, no, you initiated the entire situation. So now

we're banned from sleeping in a Mariah type situation. Well, you're very true because if you're just facing the wrong way when it kicks off. Yeah, yeah. You could be getting a little friendly with somebody's auntie. Or a Department of Conservation hut. Yeah, any sort of communal mattresses on the ground sleeping situation. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

I want to talk now about a law that has been passed in a state of America. And while that may seem weird, you don't want it to have rollover effects further afield. For the rest of America, it probably will. But for the rest of the world, it's a pretty scary time. So in Alabama, a law has been passed that will make performing an abortion in Alabama a felony, punishable by up to 99 years or life in prison, unless the mother's health is at risk. How is that going to be defined?

Unsure. With no exceptions for women impregnated by rape or incest. It is like a horrific promo for the new season of The Handmaid's Tale. Isn't it? Like people have actually been dressing up like handmaids outside some of these courthouses. Yes. And government buildings to protest.

So the people who voted for this law were 25 men who are middle-aged white men, and I say that because there's a huge stat for African-American women. It's huge in America. So they have absolutely no knowledge. Representation? No representation.

All the men in there have no knowledge of the situation and how it affects women. So this law has been passed by people who have, this has no impact on their life directly. Is it a religious thing for them? A lot of it is, yeah. passed by people who have, this has no impact on their life directly. Is it a religious thing for them? A lot of it is, yeah. And even then there's religious people coming out saying, this, by the way, does not represent the religion that I'm part of.

Yeah. But I always struggle with, these people are passionate about passing this law to ban it, but I don't know how it affects them personally. It doesn't. This is the problem that women have, my body, my choice, is that those 25 men will never

have to make that decision. And, I mean, that's great for them, but they'll never be put in that situation where that is, and it's not an easy decision for someone to make. Or, and even in case where it's like a sexual assault or incest, they've said it would still be illegal if you travel outside of a state to elsewhere, I'm assuming even another country,

you could be put in prison for 10 years as a woman seeking an abortion. That is more than you would get for some serious crime. Well, that's the thing about if the pregnancy was the result of a rape, as, you know, incomprehensible as that is, this does happen, and you got an abortion for it, you would spend more time in prison for the abortion than the person who raped you if they're caught and found guilty. And the doctor that did that would get 99 years in prison.

That's the maximum sentence. Again, more than murder. Isn't that just insane? Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty crazy to watch this sort of thing happening. So there's lots of celebrities who have come out and spoken about their experiences with having an abortion and they wanted to break down some of the shame of it.

And I'm not going to go into the details of Wolfie Goldberg, but look into that because these abortions will still happen because of people in serious distress, mentally, physically. They'll still happen. We need to give them the support so they don't Wootie Goldberg They'll have people googling how to do it themselves and that's a wildly dangerous thing

So dangerous A terrible situation that the women in Alabama have found themselves in and I'm just like terrified that that will spread over America and in New Zealand it is illegal our law is

you need to have a couple of doctors to say that it will affect your physical health for you to get one. So it's still possible but I still think that is quite outdated. And this law needs to be passed and it needs to be heard by people who are directly affected by this kind of thing.

Yeah, and if it's not... Rather than 25 men who have no dealings on it. Yeah, exactly. I just can't get over why people are so intent on passing laws on other people's bodies, what other people will do with their bodies that is of no consequence to the person who's trying to pass this law. Yeah, it's odd, isn't it, it's mind-blowing to me. It's very upsetting.

Yeah. One, two, three, four, five will make you get down now. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Cha-Chingo Bingo. That's right. What else is great in a pub? Bingo. But not with old people. Like senior citizens. Hey, you know they can come if they want. Oh, yeah great in a pub? Bingo. But not with old people. Like senior citizens.

Hey, you know they can come if they want. Oh yeah, actually, that'd be great. Bring a nan. They can teach us a thing or two. No, but don't bring your nan. If anyone brings their nan, I'll buy a... There should be a bingo shot. I'll buy a nan a drink.

Shandy. What nan's drinking? My nan will do a half-strength Riesling. Oh, what's a half-strength? Like filled with water. No, no, no. Like you can get these Rieslings

that are like 5% rather than your standard. Oh, I hate when you accidentally buy a bottle of wine like that. Yeah. You're like, why aren't I getting drunk?

It's alcohol free. Why aren't I getting drunk? I'm just having a nice conversation and a delicious wine but why aren't I plastered yet? Also, if you bring Nan to Chichingo Bingo,

she could win. Because they're good at this. They pay attention. Right. So we are bringing bingo over the next few weeks to some spots around the country. We've got cash to give away at each event. $500 cash. And a heap of prizes.

Just random prizes for the rounds. We don't know what they are yet, but there'll be prizes. And classically, we've just said we're doing this and we're waiting for everything else to fall into place. But we do have our first event locked in for a location and a time. Wednesday, May 22nd, so that's next Wednesday in Auckland at the Elephant Wrestler on the North Shore. We're going to be doing the first Cha-Chingo Bingo.

Yeah, so it'll be like the pub quizzes after work, like 6, 6.30 kind of time. Yeah. And unlike the pub quiz, you don't need like a huge team. No, you can literally come by yourself if you want. Yeah, or bring a friend, bring a couple of friends. Register at ZM Online. Yep. Just so we can work out numbers and then we will contact you and give you the invite.

So we've got dates and stuff for the other places and where we're going, because we just booked flights, and we're hoping. This sounds unorganised. Shut up. Shut up. It is. Wellington. We're going to be in Wellington on Wednesday, May 29th.

So that's a week after the Auckland one. Giving ourselves a bit of organisational space there. That's in Wellington. And then the following week, June 5th, which is a Wednesday night, we're going to be in Christchurch. And Thursday, June the 6th, in Dunedin. Locations, TBC. But you can register yourself and your friends to come along.

Register. Register before we've got a venue. And I mean, to be able to have tens of thousands of people register, we'll just get a stadium. Exactly. Rate yourself, that's not happening. So, yeah, first up, the Elephant Wrestler, if you would like to come along to that venue on the shore this Wednesday,

ZM Online makes you register. And, I mean, that really is going to be a test, like a test pot, or a test tube. Oh, yeah. really is going to be a test like a test pothole isn't it? Oh yeah. It's going to be a real Yeah. What do you call that? A dry run?

A lab rat. A lab rat. Sort of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although that means we're animal testing. How hard can it be though? It's bingo.

Read out some numbers. Read out some numbers. First person to fill the board will get a line yells out bingo. You get a prize. Easy. Lots of prizes.

And that's something that needs to be organised lots of prizes I feel like we're aggressively saying like they should come now rather than making it just sound fun and they want to come

I don't know you don't have to come I don't come if you don't want to I don't care I don't care I literally like will not lose any sleep

if someone's listening right now and they're like doesn't sound like it's for me couldn't give a shit okay now you're just being aggressive I've gone too far

the other way are you trying that whole reverse psychology thing yeah look if you don't want to have fun that's up to you

that's cool if you want to stay home and watch the Big Bang Theory it's cool whatever alright you can register

for Chichingo Bingo at ZM online Flesh, Vaughan and Bingo at ZM Online. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So you'll be aware that I've got goats. No, do you?

I do. Yeah, I've got two goats. Harold and Helen. Harold, by the way, is getting so handsome. He's a handsome goat. You are losing. You're a crazy goat lady. My friends are asking me if they can go to Vaughan's house to look at the goats.

Have you met the goats yet? No, I haven't met the goats. Goats are a real people pleaser. So many people love goats. They're like, hey, if I go with you, can I go and see Vaughan's goats? And I was like, no. Why, are you the pass card? You're the key to the gateway. I'm the key to Vaughan's goats. The gateway.

You're not using my goats for hookups, are you? No, yuck. All right, I just wanted to make sure. No, I'm not hooking up with them, but using them as a sort of material. You're not using your goats for hookups, are you? No, I can confirm I'm not. Some people do think I am, though, but I'm not. But when Dr. Laura came, and she's the goat's vet, she came and she said, Dr. Laura came and she's the goat's vet,

she came and she said, Dr. Laura, medicine woman. Dr. Laura, goat lady. Animal medicine woman. Yeah. She left me with, and I was like really excited that she trusted me. She said that she knew I was capable.

She saw something in you. A month after the initial vaccinations that she gave them, they needed further vaccinations. So she left me with a syringe, two needles, and enough millage of the vaccine that I had to keep in the fridge to vaccinate them. Is she trying to get herself out of a job? Well, she didn't want to have to come all the way back out.

Yeah, but she'll charge you for that. No, she said, would you be comfortable doing it? And I'm like, yeah, heck yeah. I've de-bloated a cow when I lived there, and that is charge you for that. No, she said, would you be comfortable doing it? I'm like, yeah, heck yeah. I've de-bloated a cow when I lived there. And that is not a pretty experience. De-bloated a cow? That's pretty awful. You have to effectively stab a cow and let a whole lot of air out.

Like a balloon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you put a needle through and it's like, ah! Oh, no, don't say that. It deflates and it stinks. But anyway, so I grew up on a farm. I'm capable. And I was like excited that she trusted me.

So yesterday on my, well, two days ago on my phone, before we went away, I got a little, tomorrow you've got to vaccinate the goats. So I said to Sade, I was like, do the girls want me to wait till they get home from school in Kindy to vaccinate the goats? Because Indy's very interested right all things animal and august hates being left out of anything yeah so and she

said i've just asked the girls they do they want you to wait till they get home they're very excited to see how it how it works yeah so uh yesterday they went to school in kindy and apparently august said to her teacher i'm so excited because after kindy today dad's gonna stab the goats he's he's waiting till i get he's waiting till we get home and when we get home he's gonna stab the goats they're all like what do you mean he's he's away with work when he comes home he got a he got a reminder he's got to stab the goats the teachers are like oh my god and i get to like and they know something's not right they know because they He got a reminder he's got to stab the goats. The teachers are like, oh, my God. And I get to kind of – and they know something's not right.

They know because they know I love my goats that I'm not just going to sacrifice these goats, like, you know, back in the day. Well, maybe you are, though, for food. For food and to appease an angry goat or something. So I get there and the teacher says, are you, are the goats okay? I was like, what do you mean?

She said, August told me that you were waiting for her and Indy to get home from school and going to stab the goats. I was like, ah, no, no, no, no, no.

I've got to vaccinate the goats. I've got to give them their shots. And she's like, oh, that makes perfect sense. August like tried to explain it but then got bored halfway through and just ran away playing in the playhouse. Right, okay.

So we were all like, what's he going to do to these goats and why is he making his children watch him stab the goats? Just teaching them about life and death. Yeah, yeah. But no, I was teaching them about vaccines. So, you know, I'm so pro-vaccine, everybody gets one. Right, and so now your goats have autism. Yeah, they do. Oh, well. You win some, you know, I'm so pro-vaccine, everybody gets one. Right, and so now your goats have autism. Yeah, they do.

Oh, well. You win some, you lose some. At least they won't get measles. At least they don't have goat measles. Yeah. And they won't be shunned by all the other goat parents when they turn up to Chipmunks for a party and they're unvaccinated. No, they're in great health.

Goat skin's hard, though. Like, I don't know quite what I was expecting when I lifted a handful of skin and put the needle in. And screwed that up. But it was quite, like, hard. But is it also... That's what so many people do. Dr. Laura said people pick up a pinch and go,

once I squirt it, just see a squirt go out, and they're like, damn it, I wasted it. Or they pick it up with their hand and they stab it through into their own hand. At least they're vaccinated. And then they've got goat autism. Is that how that works? Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if it's different to humans. Friday Flashback. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. It is my pick this week for Friday Flashback. We kick off Friday Jams with a banger that has to be at least 10 years old. And I've chosen a song from 2009. It's topical this week because she is in the news.

Britney Spears. Hashtag free Britney. Because what's the latest? What is the latest, Megan, with Britney? So she has said that her date has been drugging her. She said she got put into the mental health facility against her will. She's going to court again in September, so we have to wait a while.

But she wants to be free of her conservatorship from her dad. And that's where her dad controls her money, all the finances. Because how old is she now? You're that old You're still She's still unable to be doing all these Vegas shows

Shit, well those Vegas shows have been cancelled Until further notice It was supposed to start Start up again soon But it seemed like she had a good run Where she could have been in control of her money Again, right? Yeah

I mean, you never know what's going on in the background I hope he hasn't been like Abusing her and feeding her drugs all this time. That would be horrible. Yeah, that's a downer, isn't it? Yeah. Well, bring us back. I'll bring you back with this song. It made it to number one in Brazil.

Oh, okay. And the Ukraine. Enough said. What did it get to here? 17. Okay. and the Ukraine. Enough said. What did it get to here? 17. Okay. But I do remember this song being huge on the radio.

Yeah. At the time when it came out. Yeah, I mean, it didn't do so well. I mean, it was top 10 in a lot of countries, but then some countries it didn't do so well. Switzerland, they didn't like it. It only made it to number 61. Ow.

Ouch. It's Britney. Ouch. It's Britney. Ouch. 61? Yeah. Rude, eh? I don't know what she's done to the Swiss. Yeah.

Absolutely no idea. Probably slagged off their army knives. Maybe. Well, today's Friday flashback is Britney Spears and If You Seek Amy. On Z them. Oh, oh, tell me have you seen my cousin so? Oh, I can get her off of my brain I just wanna go to the party she gon' go Can somebody take me home? Ha, hee, hee, ha, ha, ho

Love me, hate me, say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you're seeing me Love me, hate me, but can't you see what I see? All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you're seeing me Love me, hate me, but can't you see what I see? All the boys and all the girls are begging to if you're seeing me Love me, hate me, but you're all about me Oh, but can't you see what I see? Amy told me that she's gonna meet me up I don't know where we're going now, they're closing up the club

I've seen her once or twice before, she knows my face But it's hard to see with all the people standing in the way Oh, oh, tell me have you seen her cause I'm so Oh, I can get her off of my brain I just wanna go to the party, she gon' go Can somebody take me home? Ha, ha, hee, hee hee ha ha ha Love me, hate me

Say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you see me Love me, hate me But can't you see what I see? All of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you see me Oh, say what you want about me

Oh, but can't you see what I see? Oh, say what you want about me So tell me if you see her Cause I've been waiting here forever And we'll love what she was going out of mind Oh baby baby if you're sitting at me tonight Oh baby baby we'll do whatever you like Oh baby baby baby

Oh baby baby baby La la la la la La la la la la la la Love me, hate me, say what you want about me But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you see in me Love me, hate me, but can't you see what I see All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you see in me Love me, hate me But can't you see what I see? All of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you see in me Love me, hate me

Say what you want about me Love me, hate me But can't you see what I see? All of the boys and all of the girls Are begging to if you see in me Love me, hate me Say what you want about me. Oh, can't you see what I see?

Love me, hate me, say what you want about me. All the boys and all the girls are begging to let you see me. Britney Spears, F-U-C-K-E on ZM, Fleeche, Morning Megan. It's my pick for Friday Flashback from 2009. Made it to number one in Brazil. And they know how to party, so enough said. I appreciate your bravery during that song. My bravery?

Yeah. Well, it's topical. She's in the news this week. No, I like that song. Yeah, she's conservative ship again. So, well, somebody said maybe Fletcher's dad should take conservative ship of his Friday Flashback choices. No, because then we'll end up with Bob Dylan.

A lot of Bob Dylan. A lot of Bob Dylan. A lot of Bob Dylan. Somebody else said, I wouldn't call this a banger fletch, it's a moderate jam. That's like, I'm not angry,

I'm disappointed. Somebody said, you might have said it got to number one in Brazil, but I think the Swiss take this one out. That's pretty much

saying they agree with the Swiss at the end of it. Okay. But somebody else said, Hashtag banger takes me to the good old teenage partying days. Thank you. You're welcome. Somebody else said,

I absolutely love this song. Someone said, Oh my gosh, Fletch finally picks a banger. Someone said there are at least 16 other Britney songs you could have chosen before this one. Rude. But we've done a lot of Britney.

We've done so much Britney. We've done all the main Britney. We don't like to repeat. And a lot of them aren't like bangers, you know? Yeah. Hey, it's a difficult decision each week. I liked it. Thank you, Megan.

Well, it's kicked off Friday Jams. Am I a bad person? Okay, get your judgy pants on, New Zealand. We have someone on the phone who will remain anonymous who would like to ask us a question. Are they a bad person? Good morning, anonymous. How you doing? Good.

Good. So what is the predicament that you find yourself in? Yeah, just kind of an awkward situation seems to come up on a Saturday night when hanging out with a few mutual friends. There's a particular individual, a lady who I won't name, who she's got a partner, has had for a few years, but things just always get a bit weird and sort of push it every time we hang out. What do you mean?

What, like, is she flirting? Oh, yeah, and really touchy, and, yeah, he's quite often not around. But, yeah, like her friends have all noticed, I sort of ask her what's going on. Other mates that I know sort of keep coming up and asking her how many girlfriend is. Yeah, it gets kind of awkward. And, yeah, I kind of tried to press the brakes last weekend

when I saw her in town. And, yeah, she got really upset when I wouldn't buy her a drink and kind of said, no, I want to keep some boundaries here and try to do the right thing. And she got really upset about it. And her friends were asking me sort of what I did upset her. And I was kind of trying to work out what I'm supposed to do here to still sort of look after her, mate.

Well, you sound like a decent kind of guy, to be honest. Well, I'm not normally. That's the thing. Like, I take a break from the duck boy lifestyle. But, yeah. She's a really neat chick. I just don't want to upset her, but I'm trying to be right by her. And the boyfriend, I guess.

Are you single then? Yeah. Okay. And do you actually are there any feelings there for her? In that way? There really could be. But she's got a boyfriend, so you're really actually could be. Okay. But she's got a boyfriend, so you're kind of respecting that.

Yeah, yeah. But is she getting anything out of this apart from free drinks? What's she getting out of it? Well, no, you just said that, you know, she got upset because you wouldn't buy her drinks, but is she just after, does she just like it because you buy her free drinks? No, no, we don't.

All right. So, what's the most you've done? Is it just like casual flirting or like, has there been a kiss or anything? Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Okay.

Okay. I think she needs to end her relationship. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, man. I think she needs to end her relationship. I think it's her that's the bad person. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. Because, I mean, it's like, it's tough for you if you've actually got feelings for her. You're trying to do the right thing. Yeah, like, I'm trying to sort of stop things before it gets to that awkward stage.

Yeah. And, like, yeah, I don't know, last time I was pretty sober when I saw her, which is probably why I was able to pump the brakes, but... Yeah, right. Trying to sit there going, what am I supposed to do when I'm not so sober? But, like, so I've deleted her, I've sort of snapped, trying to stop the drunk messages. Right.

It's weird, though though because some people do, if they're in a relationship, do this kind of casual flirting thing just to feel alive, don't they? I've still got it. Well, because I've learnt

the last week's one. Trying to think about it, I'm like, is that, is that what's going on here? But then, yeah, I don't know,

she got really upset when I sort of told her I'm trying to maintain some boundaries and do the right thing here. And she said, oh, but I'm different. And I'm like, that's why. I'm different, yeah.

I've got a boyfriend. Yeah, she sounds like the bad person. Have you had a conversation with her that you actually would want to try a relationship or anything kind of like that? Well, yeah, that's basically why I told her I need to get some space and like get some boundaries

because I can't sort of do the casual flirting thing with her. Yeah, yeah. And she's got a boyfriend. I just, I don't know. She's morning and she's cut and reckon I didn't handle it too well.

So I was just not too sure how much she remembers about it, obviously, but. Wow. Okay, well, this is where we get our judgy pants on, New Zealand. Is Anonymous a bad person? I don't know if many people think you would be.

I mean, maybe it's encouraging still. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, I don't really stop it straight away. Also, you're not the one in the relationship. Well, yeah, and I just want some, maybe we can get you some advice, like maybe from people that have been in this situation. Yeah. For her and for you, 0800 DARS at M 9696.

You can give us a text or a call. Anonymous, thank you. Am I a bad person? But am I a bad person? Interesting. The text machine is lit up Okay so we've got A guy who is not in a relationship

And he has been Kind of flirting Our anonymous An anonymous yes Well he wants to stay anonymous Yeah so he wants to know If he's a bad person because he's kind of been flirting and they've had a hookup with a girl who is in a relationship. And he's putting the brakes on now.

He's trying to put the brakes on now. And then she's the one that's upset about this. Yeah. See, to me, I don't think he's a bad person. No, I don't think he's a bad person. She's, yeah, she needs to make her mind up. She wants her cake and to eat it too. Yeah, so she's having conflicts over which guy she likes, obviously.

Interesting, we are only hearing from the guys. Yeah, there's the girls on this. Shay, what do you think? Is he a bad person? I don't exactly think he's a bad person. I think she just needs to try and figure out what she wants. Yeah. But then he needs to keep in mind that if she's done this before,

is there a possibility that she might do it again? Nah, because she might be into it. Like, she's obviously not that invested in the relationship that she's in. It doesn't mean that if she's with him, she's going to do it again. But then what's there to say that she's going to invest with Anonymous? Yeah, but what's there to say she's going to invest with anyone? Anyone's going to invest with anyone. Just because she's done it once doesn't mean she's necessarily going to do it to him.

They might have a better relationship. Oh, I mean, I'm not trying to like, I'm not trying to, you know. For sure. Shay, thanks. You're cool. Matt, is she a bad person? Is he a bad person? Sorry. Yes, they both are, you know. For sure. Shay, thanks. You're cool. Matt, is she a bad person? Is he a bad person? Sorry.

Yes, they both are, I think. Right. But more him. Oh, both of them, yeah, to be honest. It's morally wrong. Well, I mean, he hooked up with her knowing that she had a boyfriend. Yeah, so he is a bad person. But at the same time, he may have persuaded it with a substance.

But it sounds like she... Money drunk. Yeah, but it sounds like this is not just a one-off thing. It's happening over and over again, and she's really keen on it. Yeah. But at the same time, she has a boyfriend, so... Who is she keen on? She's got to do something about that.

Thanks, you call Matt. James, is he a bad person? No, I wouldn't say he's a bad person. He needs to sort of put the brakes on, but he needs to sort of work out whether or not this has actually got emotions involved or feelings or if it's just a case of a bit of drunken bants where they like to flirt with each other after a few drinks. But you sort of need to find out now because there's feelings on, say, her side

and she's really keen on them and they end up having a couple too many fantas one night and end up honing, then they're going to have all sorts of issues. We've all honed after a few too many fantas. It's that sugar and colouring, isn't it, that really gets you honing. James, thanks. You're called Kate. Good morning.

Hi. Now, what do you think? Is he a bad person? I don't think he is, but I do think she is. Right. Yeah, see, I'm the same as you. I definitely think that as soon as you even start considering someone else in your relationship, then you need to leave that person because you clearly don't like them that much. Yeah, see, I'm the same as you.

I don't know why she's doing this. Like, just break up with him. Because she's got... I just... She'll always fall back on it. It's a fallback plan. It's a backup plan, right? I just want to say something, because everyone's like having a go at me now on the text machine. She's not here to defend herself because we don't know what is going on with

her. She does need to make a choice. 100% she needs to make a choice and what she's doing isn't right in this situation. But we don't need to all, like, go the girl in this scenario either. The text machine is very one-sided. Are you getting a bit of abuse? Yeah, because I was very defensive on Shay.

But I just feel a bit bad for the girl in this scenario because everyone's laying into her on the text machine. So that's why I was very defensive of what Shay was saying. We don't know her scenario. True. Thanks, you cool, Kate. Some text messages. As a female, that's very impressive to hear this point of view

from a male rather than just going for it and not caring about anybody else involved. Yeah. And it sounds as though this girl doesn't deserve his time or attention.

Unfortunately, as someone who's seen this happen before and with friends of mine, girls rarely leave a steady relationship anything that isn't 100% for certain.

That's your backup situation. So I think he needs to move on and find someone more deserving of his time. Because it just sounds like she's having a cake and eating it too. Yeah, he sounded like a good guy. Yeah. Well, he's still when they're in the first place but at least he's trying to like, he's realised what's happening isn't right. He's

trying to make amends and sort it out. Good luck with that, Anonymous. Somebody said, I saw a quote on Instagram, catch flights, not feelings. Yeah, and then you get a sweet holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And some sweet Instagram photos. Some yum food and a tan.

Great, that's actually a quote to live by. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Easy, you're done with your porridge? Yep, all done. Didn't get any of that on your pink shirt? No. Good.

Any in my bed? No, because normally you do. Amazingly, yeah. Well, you're a little bit quiet after every second. I ate it so quickly. Well, I made that at the bloody 8 o'clock break. It's been sitting there for 20 minutes because of all the yap. Who do you think's been doing all the yap?

It's not me. I mean, hurry, wrap it all up I want to eat my bloody porridge Alright, it's time for Fact of the Day Today's Fact of the Day I'm going to give you a choice. Okay.

Would you rather know a fact about a guy that retired from Crayola or would you rather know a fact about a legal term that involves one of our surnames? Ooh, whose surname? Is it my surname? Because I want that one. That is the most narcissistic thing you've ever said. I want to hear about something, but only if it's about me.

Megan? Yeah, I kind of want to hear about it if it's about me. I do. You're so narcissistic. No, what do you want? What one do you like? I bet I want the crown one. Can we do the crown one on Monday and do the name one today?

Yeah, okay. Thank you. We can do the name one today. Everyone wins. Did you know that there is a legal term called the Papadopoulos direction? I want the crown one. Okay, the crown one. The Papadopoulos direction. It sounds good, eh? Yeah. Papadopoulos direction. I want the crown one. Okay, the crown one. The Papadopoulos direction.

It sounds good, eh? This is your married name. Megan Papadopoulos. It was in a court case where on trial was someone whose last name was Papadopoulos. Okay. In 1979 in New Zealand. Oh, okay. In New Zealand.

Yeah, this is the Papadopoulos direction. Close. How do you spell your Papadopoulos? It's spelt the same way. It's quite, because I just put Papadop, D-O-P, O-L-I-S,

but it's not A, there's like U's. Yeah, the U's in a confusing place. Few S's. Papadopoulos. When you say Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos. That's the Samoan branch of Papadopoulos. Wouldn't you say Papadopoulos? Papadopoulos.

That's the Samoan branch of Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos. So the Papadopoulos direction is basically if a jury comes back in a courtroom and there's maybe one or two undecided jurors and they say, look, even after all this deliberation, we're still undecided, and the judge gives them a telling off. The judge is like, this must be a unanimous decision. We cannot come back to this courtroom without a unanimous decision.

And gives them the thought that they're not going to get out there until they just agree with everybody else. Oh, no, no, no. That they will go back to the deliberation room and feel like they have to go with the crowd so that everybody gets to go home because of the guilt that the judges put on them. Right. This dates back to a court case in 1979. One

juror did not want to vote guilty. Right. And everybody else said guilty. And they were like, I don't want to vote guilty. And the judge said, we are not leaving until there is a unanimous decision. And they found that they've been directed there to go guilty just so everybody could leave. And they found that they've been directed there to go guilty just so everybody

could leave. And they must be wrong. Is that called a Papadopoulos direction? That's the Papadopoulos direction. That's just like peer pressure in the court. Oh no, that's not good. It's not kind of peer pressure because it's come from above. It's like when a person above you.

More like bullying. You got us all told off. You got us all detention. We're not going to get out of here unless you agree with us. So then they went back and the foreman read the verdict as a unanimous decision of guilt. And then afterwards,

kind of when it was all over, the person was like, I didn't really want to vote guilty. I felt bullied into it. And signed an affidavit saying that they didn't feel that guilty was the right one, but they felt like

they'd been directed to go with the crowd. Oh, that sucks. So, and because the person on trial was Papadopoulos, it became known as the Papadopoulos directive. That's just all round not very positive. Because what if the Papadopoulos person was innocent? I actually don't know what even the Pap,

because I looked into the origins of it. We're all thinking something terrible though, aren't we? 79. I didn't I looked into the origins of it. We're all thinking something terrible, though, aren't we? 79. I didn't actually look into what they'd done. Yeah, right. Have you ever tried to read legal stuff? Oh, it's hard. I don't know why people want to do that for a job.

I had to, like, use my finger to follow the words and then, like, work out what line I was up to and, like, stop every five words and be like, what does that mean? And then there was a couple of words I had to Google the definition of. And then I was like, okay, I think I've got... We're trying to get out of a parking ticket again.

What's that? Oh, that's what it felt like. I'm trying to decipher this Papadopoulos directive situation. So today's fact of the day is there is a legal term called the Papadopoulos directive. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes.

And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. This is what we just need to know ahead of the weekend after we, because calories don't count from Friday through to Monday. Yep. Mondays when everyone's back at the gym, the diet starts, the new me. So for Monday, not for today. Don't worry about it today.

For Monday, there's been a list released of the top 10 highest burning calories per hour. Exercise. Exercise. Okay. Yeah. Because I'm always disappointed with like rowing. It's quite hard out. But you don't burn as many calories as other ones that I do.

You should have met on the rowing machine? Yeah. Really? Are you doing it right? Are you doing it right? It's all on the legs. I'm humming. Oh, those rowing machines are rubbish anyway.

Get an actual skiff and give it a burn. Then you'll get some calories going. All right, Eric Murray, calm down. Is rowing in your top 10 exercises to burn calories? It's actually not. Okay. It's actually not. Is it not?

Nah. I told you. I Love Science have done this list, haven't they? Yeah. They're a great website to find. I effing love science. Yeah, on Facebook. Great.

Muted yourself. You bleeped your own swear word. I know I did. Well done. Yeah, thank you. Except I'm just looking at this list. It goes from number 10 to number 7. It's jumped.

There are a lot of first equals or something. Oh, does that affect it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know. You've got the list. Yeah. There are a lot of first equals or something. Oh, does that affect it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know. You've got the list. Yeah, it's very odd.

So we'll go from number 10. Is rollerblading. Can roller skating be counted in that? Because I used to do that a lot. Same thing. Yeah, same thing. Yeah. 683 calories per hour. Although the embarrassment of rollerblading might burn a few more calories than roller skating.

Number nine, a game of basketball burns 728 calories. But these are, to me, this all depends on how hard you're playing basketball. I bet I could do

bugger all playing basketball for an hour. But you've still got to run up and down the court. I wouldn't be running, I'd just be like, chuck it to me, I'll just wait here by the net.

Okay. And then you chuck it to me and I'll chuck it straight back because I can't wait here by the net. Okay. And then you chuck it to me and I'll chuck it straight back because I can't get it in the net. Okay. By the way, go the Bucs. Okay. Entering the NBA finals.

Got the Raptors. Got them on the nets. Got them on the ropes, mate. It's a big year for us Bucs fans. I don't know what you're talking about. The NBA. Number seven. You guys are nerds, don't you?

You like sports. Don't you guys like nerds? A couple of nerdy non-sport nerds. I just don't follow the NBA. Yeah, neither. I just bought a hat once. I feel like I've got to keep up with the team. Yeah, right.

And we're doing well. Calories, the most calories you burn per hour exercise-wise is flag football. Is that... Flag football? Is that like touch football? Ripper rugby. Ripper rugby. Ripper rugby.

Okay, yeah. And that's equal with tennis. What do we call it? Flag football. Is it like touch football? Ripper rugby. Ripper rugby. Okay, yeah. And that's equal with tennis. 728 calories per hour, but singles, not doubles. You're doing half of it. So it'd be about 350, 361. Yeah. But again, that's a lot of backwards and forwards. I'd imagine squash would be less distance on a squash court, though.

Squash on the list? No. Squash or racquetball? Those are intense cardio. You've got to be really moving. And good for your legs too. Your lunges.

A lot of lunging. So running is next but we're talking five miles per hour so that's what? Jogging. Yep. Okay.

755 calories an hour. Next running upstairs. Oh yuck. Only if I'm being chased. 819 calories an hour. And it's always easy to be chased downstairs out of a building. There's a stepper machine at my gym and like you're going at a really

slow pace and even then I'm like That's my jam, the step machine. Yeah, but I just do it for ages rather than run up it for like... Yeah, I don't like the step machine. It gets too much. I don't for 20 minutes to 16. It looks like big giant teeth, like a scary escalator. I've fallen off the back of it. It's like big giant teeth, like a scary escalator. Yeah.

I've fallen off the back of it. Yeah. It's not like a treadmill. You can't put your legs either side when you just need to like catch yourself. But you have to like jump off. That first step is real high. You stand on and you press stop. You don't jump off like a Tom Cruise stuntman.

You could do. You could. Or you just like glide down the back and then fall off. Number four, vigorous swimming. Okay. 892 calories an hour. Who's doing that for an hour? You do a couple of lengths and you're like,

Oh, this is so hard. I am not a fish. Taekwondo is number three. The third most calories you'll burn in an hour. It's from Taekwondo. 937 calories an hour. And the first is first is tied.

Okay. First sequel. Yeah, that's what you say, eh? Yeah. I was like, what? There's a phrase for this. There's a phrase for this. 1,074 calories per hour you will burn if you are running eight miles per hour, like a sprint. Boring. Or if you're doing a skipping rope, jump rope.

Wow, okay. They always say you should do like jump rope and you do it in between your boxing. Eight miles an hour isn't sprinting. It's just under 13 k's an hour. Is it? I don't know. Okay.

It's just a trot. Yeah, but any running, it's hard, isn't it, to do for an hour? And then doing a skipping rope for an hour too. Good luck. Oh, yeah, skipping's hard isn't it to do for an hour and then doing a skipping rope for an hour too good luck oh yeah skipping's hard yeah

do that when you're a kid and then you try again as an adult and you're like my knees my ankles everything Aries any weight

hurting any joint ouch I've whipped myself in the back of my leg Flesh, Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM there is a new

Vaughan I'm just I feel like I just ran through Fauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is a new... I'm just... I feel like there needs to be... I just ran through a list of possible things I've done today that could have cost us some listeners, and Fletch said, should we be trying to lose listeners? I said, well, I'm just having a clean out. I've always been about quality over quantity.

Yeah, right. That's probably not great in commercial broadcasting. It's all about quantity, but I'm a quality guy. Just because someone has a difference of opinion, you shouldn't text them back and have a go at them. Oh, no, it's all sorts of things. Right. We're having discussions.

We're having discussions on the text machine. Yeah, I'm very polite in my use of the F word. I know you are. There is a bus that you can stay in on Airbnb. This is a bus I would definitely want to be in. Although, I don't know if I've seen the kid. Oh, yes. Okay, I've just looked at the interior.

You can now stay on the actual Spice bus from the 1997 movie Spice World. The one that does the jump. The double-decker. Oh, yeah. Where is it parked? Because are you in someone's backyard? It actually looks like it's in like a field.

Also, have we had confirmation this is the actual bus? Because this just looks like a run of the mill double decker that's been painted with a union jack. No, but it says Spice Bus number 19. However would they do that? If it wasn't the official Spice World bus.

You are in such a sassy pants mood today. That's because I've been listening to Lizzo. Good. She will give you an education. And why were you listening to Lizzo? So much sass. Because you guys said, you were all in this exclusive little club

and I was like, what are you guys listening to? And then I listened and I was like, I like that too. And you've been empowered. That's absolutely not how that went down. We played you this song and you said, what are you guys listening to? And then I listened and I was like, I like that too. And you've been a happy part of our club. You've been empowered. That's absolutely not how that went down. We played you the song and you said, what's this rubbish?

And now you've converted. I didn't say rubbish. Fletch, that sounded like Bruno Mars. Some of her songs sounded Bruno Mars-ish. If you haven't heard Lizzo, you need to listen to Lizzo. But anyway, so this season it was a mega fan who has converted it into a very stylish apartment. So it's got plants.

It's got like neon lights. It's got, are they, it looks like Union Jack chairs even. There's a big TV mounted on the side of the wall. Does it say how much it is a night? An overnight stay in the bus will cost you $194 New Zealand dollars. That's not bad. You pay that for a hotel in London. It looks like the photos of it.

It's on a road. Yeah, I know. It doesn't look like it's permanently based somewhere. I think it allowed you to stick. Because that guy turned up to his Airbnb and was at Amsterdam and it was a shipping container on the side of the road. Really? And they were like, um.

Yeah, but what does it look like inside? It might be super nice. Well, it was misleading, Megan, I think was his only problem there. This looks so chic. So you'd stay there? 100%. Although it doesn't look like there's much around you. So I've just read the woman who did this up.

This is her personal bus that she, it's like her camper van. She drives around in it. However, when the Spice Girls are performing at Wembley Park, she's found a spot nearby close to it, and she was originally only going to Airbnb it for those two nights that they were performing so mega fans could stay in the Spice Bus and go to the show. However, she's been so inundated with people being like,

please, please. She's like, maybe I'll rent this out a bit more. Imagine if you were going to see the Spice Girls and you stayed in the Spice Bus. I'd have to do a jump in it. I don't know if they'd let you. Lower the bridge. Halfway.

Richard E. Grant, hold on. Do the jump. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here.

ZM.