ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 21 2019

Episode Date: May 20, 2019

That flatmate that uses too much, Don't Get Fletch Started and what can't you believe was stolen.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, it's not the intern, the millennial being the useless one today, is it? Don't say today like she is every other day. Yeah, right. I'm here. When are you off on your next holidays? A week and a half. Well, somebody has slept in, haven't they?

Cute. It's not me. Well, it's not me because we're here, aren't we? It was about 15 minutes ago. We were like, um. Where's Vaughn? Where's Vaughn? Where is Vaughn, producer Caitlin?

He's not even picking up his phone. He's probably driving. We, phone. He's probably driving. We, um, he's sleeping guys. His alarm didn't go off. Did you see? He sent a screenshot and he's like, it's on, um, it just didn't go off. Sent a screenshot of his alarm. Okay, mate. Me thinks

there was some snoozing going on. You know, like, because I've only slept in once, but I made it in before the show because I live up the road. But the other, I think it was last week, I woke up to my alarm that had snoozed 10 minutes past my usual wake up time. And I do not remember it going off. And I do not remember pushing snooze because I never push snooze. I just get up.

That's freaky, eh? Yeah. I never push snooze either. I'm like, get the alarm and get your ass out of bed. People that, you'd be a snoozer, aren't you? Oh, I've got at least nine alarms every morning. And on the boyfriend's phone as well. Otherwise, I just don't wake up.

Drives me, my husband does that too. It drives me nuts. Because then we're lying there and there's like seven alarms. I'm like, can you just get up, please? Exactly. We're very sensible, Megan. Yeah, we are. We're the sensible ones. We're the Slytherin. Sensible very sensible, Megan. Yeah, we are. We're the sensible ones.

We're the Slytherins. Sensible Slytherins. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Well, with Vaughan sleeping in and still on his way to work, Megan, it's your choice today for story time. Three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories.

You get to pick whichever one tickles your fancy. Cool. But you're only allowed one. Headline one, community help to get club back on track. Okay. Headline two, town welcomes low-cost police officers. And headline three, billionaire clocks commencement speeches. Commencement speeches.

Commencement speeches. Yeah. So this guy, I know story three. The billionaire, he did a commencement speech. That's where at like graduation they get up on there like la la la. And heaps of them go viral. Yeah. There's heaps of them like lots of famous people have done them and they've gone like

huge on YouTube. Yeah. So he, this was in America. Yeah. He got up on stage, did his commencement speech and then at the end said he was going to cover all their student loans he was going to pay all their student loans off I know

he's like a billionaire yeah so everyone's like okay Jill let me just find this Instagram post from Harpo from Oprah

where she posted because it must have been graduation day all over yesterday she posted a photo this photo with a guy

she's like I don't know who this guy is but he's happy and she was at Colorado College's posted a photo, this photo, with a guy. She's like, I don't know who this guy is, but he's happy. And she was at Colorado College's class of 2019. And this is the Instagram

account, comments by celebs. Somebody comments saying, should have paid off their student debt, Oprah. To which she replied, already paid $13 million in scholarships and put 400 men through Morehouse University. Oh, yeah. A little bit of sass.

Sass back. Eat it then. Yeah. So did she do a commencement speech? Yeah, she did one as well. Imagine if Oprah just turns up to do you. Man. Crazy.

Well, you'd be, imagine if you're at a college and you had just someone bung. Rubbish. Someone else gets Oprah and you just get Derek. And someone else got their loans paid off. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I think, I can't actually remember what it was, but I think story two tickled my fancy.

Town welcomes low-cost police officers. Yeah. You want that one? Bougie cops. Okay, we go to a town in Canada now. Lloydminster in Alberta, to be exact. And the town is welcoming four new police officers, but

their personalities have been described as a little flat because they are cardboard cutout police officers. No. Who have been printed out at a cost of about $350 each. That's actually really smart. So what they're doing here is they park a police car,

they put the lights on, and he looks like he's holding a radar gun. So the door's open, and he is leaning against the crevice of the door with a radar. If you were 100 metres down the road, you'd slam on the brakes, you'd be like,

shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. He's got me, he's got me, and then you get closer and realise it's only a two-dimensional policeman. They should totally do that kind of thing because it slows everyone down.

I mean, as soon as you pass, you speed back up again, don't you? I feel like when I've been in Australia, they do it lots. On the highways, they'll just leave police cars

on the side of the road with the lights on or just leave them there but there's no one ever in them. Do they not have, have they got more cars than they need? Maybe. I always think that they should just put more of those speed camera boxes around. Well, yeah, because half of those don't even have cameras in them most of the time.

But you've got to slow down because you just never know. Exactly. And then you get close and you can see it's empty. You're like, damn it. Next time. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

Well, minus Vaughan, who is currently driving to the studios after sleeping in this morning. Here he is on the live location. He's on the motorway. Good. He's still 20 minutes. Yeah, great. Okay. It is about now, this time of year, that

Kiwis are like, hmm, it's getting chilly. I need to go somewhere with a beach and some sunshine. Like Antonania. She's going to Europe in eight days. Is it eight days? Shit, I've got to count down for you. I can't do maths.

It's next Saturday. A few. No, it's a few more than that. It's a few more than that. Right. None of us do the maths. No. it's a few more than that. It's a few more than that. Right. So, are you going to... None of us doing the maths. No. I don't know.

I don't trust myself to do that quickly. Are you going to a place called Alba? It's in the Tuscan archipelago. Tuscan? Yeah. I'm going to Tuscany. This is in Italy. So, it's an Italian island in Italy. No islands, but I'm going to Tuscany. This is in Italy.

So it's an Italian island in Italy. No islands, but I'm going to Italy. What's that? Is it Tucson? Maybe. In Italy. T-U-S-C-A-N. Is that Tucson?

Tuscan. No, Tucson's in America, isn't it? Yeah. That's an O though, eh? Yeah. That's an A. Okay, maybe it is Tuscan. Take it back. Well, I don't know.

I was asking the question. So this is an island called Alba. Right. Now, the reason everyone's talking about it is because they have started its new tourist campaign. It's called Alba No Rain. So you can go to this island, their new incentive, and it's only for the month of May, but if it rains for more than two hours during the day, and they've also stipulated between 10 a.m. and 8 p.m., you get a refund on your stay.

For two and drizzle? Do they count like a light drizzle? I don't know. I mean, I guess you could argue it. What they're saying is they're trying to tell you- What month did you say? May. Right now.

That is, they get, which one's May? That one. They get 80 mils of rain a month in May. And that's one of their wettest months. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. Well, they're kind of banking on the fact that it's...

But it still gets up to 40 degrees. Why are they doing it in their rainiest month? I thought they would do it in... Well, and also because that's kind of a month that is a bit quiet. Right. Because it's right before summer. Okay. Like, yeah, I've been in Europe and, like, around Greece around May and dead.

Right. So they're trying to boost... Yeah, trying to get a few... Tourism in May. Like, they'd never do it in June. Yeah. Or July. So, yeah, two hours between 10am and 8pm.

And it's only participating, I mean, this is all the fine print. It's only participating hotels, but there's a heap of hotels and hostels who do this. So if it does rain, you just say to your hotel, I want my money back for my stay. And they agree to do it. Who's taking the official rain measurement? Like their Met Service or whoever they use? I don't know. And it like, rain's one thing,

but like, are they counting like grey skies? Because nothing worse than going on holiday to like a beach destination. And it may not be raining, but it's like cloudy. It's just overcast all the time. You're like, where's the sun? But you won't get your refund unless there's actual precipitation.

And constant for two hours? Or what if it stops an hour 50 in and then there's the odd little spit? And then you get 10 minutes later. Yeah. I don't know. But then if it rains a bit more for 10 more minutes, does that count?

Or does it have to be in a row two hours? I don't know. I mean, I guess you can argue that. There'll be some retired couples really pushing this. Yeah. Flesh, Vaugh couples really pushing this. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. This is going to question what you're doing with your life.

It has done to me because a woman, her name is Jessica Cox. She's from Arizona and she was born with no arms for no medical reason and they didn't even know that she didn't have arms until she came out. And so she's never known any other way. That's how she lives her life. And she is very adventurous by nature. So she has just become the first woman, and I don't,

maybe there is a guy that's done this. A first woman in the US with no arms to become a licensed pilot of a plane in the sky flying. So she... With no arms? No arms. In a small, like, light aircraft?

It's one of the ones that you might see at... It looks like an old fighter. Like, what's that movie? Dunkirk. Oh, one of those. Like an old one that goes What didn't you need like your arms to steer and stuff? Or did she use her feet?

So she said So I'll always remember, was it just out of Tauranga, the person that was caught driving with no arms and legs? No legs. Or was driving with the legs, had no arms? Yeah. Still incredible.

Weren't they speeding? And also speeding, yeah. So she said she's been through three different airplanes and not because she wrecked them, but the logistics of the control panel were a challenge. So they've obviously modified the plane a wee bit, but she can fly it. So it doesn't have flaps, those flap pedals.

So she can operate the whole thing with her feet. Isn't that insane? So they just put the flap pedals up somewhere because you still need your flaps. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I had a fly plane with my your flaps. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't know how to fly with my both arms. Right. But she also, if that wasn't enough, she also has her scuba diver's license and she's creating a harness so that she can rock climb.

Oh, so that makes me feel lazy and useless because I'm not doing that with my life. How can you rock climb? Not learning to fly, rock climb. Well, yeah, because you've got to use your arms to pull yourself. To literally pull yourself up. And then hang on. How does she hang on? I don't know.

With her mouth. I feel so lazy. So lazy. But she said to everyone who feels limitations in their life, with all your limbs or not, she's like, don't ever be afraid to face your fear because it makes you feel alive. So this was in 2006. A man was caught with no arms, speeding at 121 k's, using one foot to steer and the other to operate the pedals. Wow. The man told shock police he was born with no arms and he'd never held a driver's license.

Oh, okay. This is Papa Mola. He'd never had a driver's license. He was okay. This is in Papamoa. He'd never had a driver's licence. He was given a $170 fine and forbidden from driving. And apparently police at the time said he'd be charged with dangerous driving. Wow.

But it's hard for us to understand, but like this woman here, she's never known any other way. So those literally are her hands as well. But I mean, if he doesn't have a licence, I don't think he should be driving. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

There is a music video, Justin Bieber's I'll Show You. Very beautiful, if you remember that. It's like, has like scenes from Iceland. It has,

I want to go to Iceland one day. Beautiful scenery. It's so expensive though. I've heard that. Like, what is it, Norway or something? Yeah.

It's like, as expensive as Norway. Yeah. Right, okay. It's it? Norway or something. Yeah. It's like as expensive as Norway. Yeah. Right. Okay. It's all those Scandinavian countries. Don't you pay like 30 bucks or something for a Big Mac? Yeah, but you get a free IKEA chair with it. I don't know if you do, Bort.

I don't know if that's how it works. And a Nokia. Wasn't that the deal? Have your parents been to Iceland? No, they haven't. They've been to other Nordic countries. Was it your friend Ellie that did Iceland? The photos look amazing every time I see someone in Iceland. I've been to other Nordic countries. Was it your friend, Ellie, that did Iceland? The photos look amazing.

Every time I see someone in Iceland, I'm like, yeah. I've had other friends that have been there too. The hot pools. Yeah, everyone goes to the hot pools. I mean, she didn't eat for four days because it was too expensive, but beautiful scenery. But I don't think she went to this area. So in a place I can't pronounce in Iceland,

it has one of the most beautiful canyons and that has featured in Justin Bieber's music video I'll Show You which now has 444 million views and it has been overrun with Justin Bieber fans um that they've actually closed it so oh good one Justin Bieber there's like a canyon and then there's like literally a little cliff that's very skinny and you can walk out onto it, which is also covered in moss. It would be slippery. It's very thin.

And everyone's trying to get the same. Justin Bieber's fans are like lemmings. They just keep walking out there. Everyone's trying to get the shot where they walk out on this little thin bit and overlook the canyon, which, first of all, looks very dangerous. I don't know if I'd walk out on that, to be honest. No. I know. It's not in my, like, I'd be the one that it gave way under. Yeah. Just as I'm falling

to my death, like, yep, too fat. So everyone's getting photos at this particular canyon, but it's affecting it so much they've literally shut it off. So over the past eight years, the number of tourists going to Iceland has increased from 600,000. That was in 2011 to 2.3 million tourists last year. Oh, wow.

Okay. I don't know if they can totally attribute that to Justin Bieber's video, but it's like beautiful shots in it. It's a very picturesque area. Oh, yeah, the whole country. My friend Johnny that went to Iceland said that they also don't have, like, crazy amounts of safety barriers. You know, here, if you're in Rotorua or anywhere, a bubbling mud pool, it's like, oh, stay back and don't go here and don't fall in

and all these signs. He's just said it's kind of, they've left it up to common sense over there. Well, look at this. He walked right up to the edge of a waterfall and like took a photo right off the edge of it. Here's a picture of someone standing out on the canyon. There's a little sign that was like, don't walk here.

Oh, yeah, okay. But you can also see that everyone's going across the ropes and they are still standing on the little ledge. Well, the ropes are a foot high. Yeah. Of course, that's not going to stop anyone. You can just step over them. And it's a rope.

It's not even a chain. Yeah. A guard rope says to me, just not really stop. But a chain is more of a rope. It's not even a chain. Yeah. A guard rope says to me, just not really. Stop. But a chain is more of a stop. A guard rope just says like, oh, if you go here, we tried. Like if you fall off the ledge, we tried.

We tried. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. I will just warn you now, this is Game of Thrones spoiler heavy. You have been warned. This is all to do with the end of Game of Thrones that happened last night.

Yeah. So if you've not watched last night's episode, they left two water bottles in a shot as well. They did not! Have you not seen this? So at the council meeting,

there was a water bottle behind a couple of the legs, the actor's legs. I didn't see them. It did look warm. It did look warm. Was it some of the actors in the big heavy coats? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it would have been warm.

I would have just had a camelback. Sam Tarley. Sam Tarley was one of them. Sam Tarley. Sam bloody Tarley. It's hard to spot. Like, you really had to be looking. But, yeah, people did. But everyone was really looking. It's a to spot. Like, you really had to be looking. But, yeah, people did.

But everyone was really looking. I have the Starbucks. Yeah. I have the Starbucks situation. Yeah. So these are the top six Game of Thrones spinoffs. All spoilers. Number six.

Drogon will star in Are You My Mother? Imagine being a dragon alone in a world clutching your dead mother's body trying to find your place in it. Hey, lizard, are you my mother? No. Gobble, gobble place in it. Hey, lizard, are you my mother? No. Gobble, gobble. Hey, big seabird, are you my mother? No. Gobble, gobble.

He'll eat everybody till someone says yes. Coming to HBO this fall. Sounds riveting. Yeah. He's out there. Sounds production-wise quite costly. A lot of CGI. No, because it'll only be all CGI.

Oh, right. So my hardest part about CGI is when it's against real stuff, right? Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six Game of Thrones spin-off will star Jon Snow. Okay.

Jon Snow was the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Then he went and killed the eyebrows who went crazy. So he's back in the never-ending winter up north, dressed in black with a sword on his back and ghost in his pack here comes the man in black coming to HBO this fall I think that title might already be taken man and black slightly different we've circumnavigated trademark number four on the list of the top six Game of Thrones. Do another spoiler alert. Oh yeah, if you've just joined us, this is a spoiler alert. Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler.

Game of Thrones last night. Where it ended last night if you haven't seen it. Number four, we'll start Tyrion. He's who the king turns to for advice, but who does the hand of the king turn to for advice? Why, the hand of his brother, of course. Tyrion Lannister is the ghost hand whisperer coming to HBO this summer. You didn't think it was the end of Jaime brother, of course. Tyrion Lannister is the ghost hand whisperer coming to HBO this summer.

You didn't think it was the end of Jaime, did you? As Tyrion sneaks off to summon the ghost of Genie Jaime for advice by rubbing his golden hand, hilarity will ensue as these brothers set about paying their debts to the six kingdoms as only a Lannister could.

The ghost hand whisperer coming to HBO this summer. That scene where he finds them. Yeah. All I could think of was Megan, who yesterday was like, he's still alive. He's still alive. I know. I literally was like, they are not alive.

There was part of me expecting him when he was like. Tyrion was up there. Yeah, Jamie would be like. All these polystyrene bricks are really heavy. So heavy on the chest. Number three on the list of the top six Game of Thrones spin-offs. Again, very spoiler heavy. We'll start Bran.

Bran the Broken's the king of the six kingdoms, but can he become the king of the welly? Join Bran as he masters his wheelchair and turns King's Landing into the ultimate skate park. Bran the broken. Brand's Nitro Circus. Yeah, pretty much. He did not look like a particularly wheelchair-friendly...

He would have had to have been carried by the guards quite a bit. Yeah, they'd be putting... I've got a big rebuild on their hands. You'd be expecting some accessibility ramps. I thought he was going to get up and walk and be like, jokes on you. Gotcha. Like the grandpa in a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I can't walk. I've been in bed for 20 years. Do you want to go to a chocolate factory? You're down to, nah dude. I'm Grandpa Joe, I'm dancing. If he pulled a Grandpa Joe, I would be, whoa. That was interesting because that's who the bookmakers closed bets on like midweek.

So obviously word had got out from production staff. We talked about that yesterday. Yeah, right. Number two on the list of the top six Game of Thrones

spin-off stars are ya? Are you ready kids? Who lives like a pirate girl sailing the sea? Are ya high pants who stabs and kills with a six-odd of glee? Are ya high pants who's going east of east to see what she can see? Are, high pants. Who stabs and kills with a six-odd of glee. Oh, yeah, high pants.

Who's going east of east to see what she can see. Oh, yeah, high pants. Oh, yeah, high pants. Oh, yes. Got very high pants. Very high pants. Very high pants, yeah. Isn't that west of west?

So I was looking, yeah, okay, because east of east, because I've looked at those Game of Thrones maps when the Mother of Dragons was down in that bit getting slaves and the Unsullied and stuff. And there's a big part up there that's kind of unexplored as well, but you're right, it was West of West because she was on a boat. East of East was land, West of West. And she said, what's West of West Ross?

What's West of West Ross? And everyone's like, I don't know, we're like a civilization that's been around for thousands of years, but we've never thought to go too far that way. That also just felt to me like they were actually setting up a spin-off for the future. She could do it.

Yeah. They're pretty rad. And the number one on today's top six, full of spoilers about Game of Thrones, Game of Thrones spin-off, the number one show will start, it's actually like an educational series. Yeah. It will star Tormund Giantsbane and Robin Arryn of the Eyrie. Yeah.

They'll star in a breastfeeding makes good campaign. It's a show about the benefits of breastfeeding well into your teens. Of course, Tormund Giantsbane was breastfed by a giant as a 10-year-old after he killed her husband. He breastfed from a giant and that's what made him so big. And Robin Aron of the Eyrie, who we haven't seen for a couple of seasons, he was famously breastfed by his mother on the show. And last night, hello. Someone's really come into their eye.

Yeah. He really neveled long bottoms. Yes. Level, level, level long. Long bottomed. Nevel long bottomed. Long bottomed. How thirsty is the internet though?

Because there was a story like last night, his little known Instagram account that no one apart from his friends followed. It now has like 25,000 followers. Oh my gosh. It's only going to get more. And all these comments on his post like, you've grown up handsomely.

Calm down, internet. Or don't. You've got to have someone to look forward to, don't you? Yeah, I'm just looking at a before and after. He's done well. Did do well. I mean, that outfit helped. That was quite a flattering.

It's a fetching outfit. Very fetching outfit. I thought he was one of I didn't know who he was for ages. It was actually a shout out. They said it's the breastfeeding kid. I was like, oh, damn boy. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Well, the IRD, the tax department, have begun sending out the first of more than 2.5 million automated tax statements that are going to tell people if they're getting a tax refund or if they've got a bill to pay. So you may have an email this morning saying you've got some free money. Are they going to email it? So email or sending in the post,

depending on what your preferences are. How do they have your email? If you've set up your email on your... Oh, I don't think I've done that. On your MyIRD. Is that the RealMe? That's all RealMe and MyIR and... Well, yeah, because they're warning that a lot of...

The RealMe, yeah, the government department. RealMe, and then if you want to go into that... You have to use RealMe to log on to... To log into MyIR. Yeah. MyIR. But then you have to have linked MyIR to your RealMe. Yeah.

Yeah, that's in the initial setup Yeah Yeah Right And then you can log in And you can see if you're getting a refund Because I didn't think I'd done the real

MyIR Yeah We thought I hadn't done myIR But you had I had I had Ari Yes I had But then I'd forgotten

My username From myIR Yeah So we had to get my Email Yeah, so I had. But then I'd forgotten my username for my IR. Yeah. So I had to get my email. Sent me email. Right. And that said, where's your username?

For your... For my IR. Yes, right. I don't see if we're going to be able to look at that again. It's my IR. And they're saying you've got to be so careful because apparently a lot of scams are popping up. So if you've got to go to the actual my IR,

the proper IRD website portal. And always check the address because people, they make websites look like. I heard they'll never send you a link. Oh, really? Okay. They'll say there's something waiting for you. Oh, yeah. But they will never send you an link. Oh, really? Okay. They'll say there's something waiting for you. Oh, yeah.

But they will never send you an active link. The scammers? Yes, the scammers. No, no, no, no, no, no. The scammers will send you a link. It's myoyor. They don't send you a link. They don't send links.

No. Yeah, they send you an email. You have an alert. Yeah. And you're myoyor. You've got to go myoyor. Your oyor. No, you go to myoyor.

You go to your oyor. Which is got to go to my OIAR. Your OIAR. Not you go to my OIAR. You go to your OIAR, which is at my OIAR. Not my, you know. So 1.65 million New Zealanders are getting money back. That's just going to make me real pissed if I'm not one of them. How many have got a bill paid? 240,000 are likely to get bills to pay. And you've got next February to pay. Yeah, so Feb 7. So if you do have next February to pay. Yeah, so Feb 7.

So if you do have some tax to pay, it'll be Feb 7. That's pretty sweet. It's like that pay later thing, except you don't get anything at the end of it. Apart from remaining a citizen of New Zealand and not being in jail. Yeah. So if you don't have anything this morning, they are doing it in batches. So they're still to come. Can I afterpay with my IRA?

Do what? Afterpay. No. HP. That's like, can I pay my tax bill with my credit card? Not a done thing? I don't think so. Right. What's like how you can't buy, like, you can't gamble and pay with a credit card? Can't buy a lot of tickets with

a credit unless you're on the app. Yeah, you need it. Ironically, you need a credit card to buy on the app, but you can't buy it with a credit card in store. Never really thought of it the irony of the app, but that is pretty messed up. Yeah, isn't it? Yeah. Can I pay with a credit card?

Not unless you go online. Online it is then for my gambling. You're going to feel really ripped off if you're one of the ones who have to pay. I know, because you're a big coin in the minority. Yeah. But it's good now because you don't have to fill out a form so unless you know you're doing some side so you don't have to fill out a minor hustle yeah right am i i are no everyone can have an am i i are no even if you've got a soy de salari you've still got to have a moyo

i are if you've got a what even harry if you have a mo if you have a moyo you've got a what. Even Harry, if you have a moioi, you've got a bloody. Harry, you've got to have a moioi. I've been Hagrid the whole time. You knew that, eh? No. Well, come on. It was Hagrid. You just thought it was like some northern English slash Scottish accent.

No, it was Hagrid the whole time. Oh, right. Okay, get it now. You can't HP and moe-oe-oe. RHP stands for Harry Potter, the chosen one.

This morning, we had someone who was a little bit late to the show. Who? Oh, I don't know, Vaughan. Who slept in? I did, yeah. Really unusual. You got here at like 6.30, so you missed like half an hour of the show. But also, probably like, well, that's an hour and a half late for me,

but that's only like, what, an hour late for you. An hour late for me. Yeah. But how do you feel about snooze alarms, like snoozing alarms? Well, I didn't even snooze the alarm. I didn't even hear the alarm go off. Not what I asked you. Oh, well, I don't snooze.

You don't normally snooze. No. You don't normally snooze? No, I don't normally snooze. What I do do is I wake up with my alarm and then I just lie in bed for like 15 minutes seeing what I've... It's the same thing. Same thing. No, because I've got the glaring light in my face. In fact, that's more dangerous

because you probably just fall back to sleep. No, because I do it with above my face. If I fall back to sleep, it drops on my nose and wakes me up again. It's a snooze button on the bridge of my nose. No, I haven't snoozed for a while. Yeah, I don't snooze either. Fletch, how do you feel about snoozing alarms?

God, I hate it. That's my absolute... And this is why people snooze three times, that's 30 minutes. Or they snooze twice, that's 20 minutes. That's 30 minutes. Or they snooze twice. Isn't it eight minutes per snooze? 27 minutes. Is it 27? It's nine minutes per snooze.

I thought it was 10 per snooze. Is it nine? Does that annoy you? That annoys me. Like, make it 10. Yeah. So however many minutes your snooze is, you're snoozing two or three times.

Why not, and this is just an idea, have that 29 minutes or 25 minutes or 30 minutes of uninterrupted sleep right until the moment you have to get up? Yeah.

I mean, what a weird concept. An extra half an hour of uninterrupted sleep. This is the conversation that happened this morning when we believed that Vaughn had snoozed his alarm. That you thought I'd just snoozed and snoozed and snoozed

and then what, just turned it off? Yeah. No, because the key to snoozing is not turning it off, always just snoozing. A constant snoozer. From my days as a snoozer. But no, I don't know what happened, but it wasn't a snoozing situation.

Producers, do you snooze in the morning? You know, you're having to get up at 4 something a.m. and you've got partners. How do they feel about this when you're snoozing two or three times? I snooze probably seven times. Oh, my God. What time does your initial alarm go off? Initial alarm is four,

and then there's 15 minutes between the first one and the second one. So that's like, hey, sweetheart, the end's coming. So what time do you get up? Well, I've got 4.35, which is like, girl, you're going to be so late. So why not set an alarm for 4.30 and just get up? I won't wake up. It literally takes me that many to be like, it's time to get up now. You get in the flow of things.

In the meantime, your boyfriend has been woken up five times and doesn't have to get up until seven. Yeah, I know. There's part of me that hopes Fletch finally finds his soulmate. And because you get up at four o'clock in the morning, you'll never experience it during the weekday. But then they work weekends

and then on the weekends... That happens to me! At six o'clock, they snooze you. This is why I'm so against it because I have been in a relationship when we worked afternoons and this happened to me every single morning. This happens to me

every weekend because I don't snooze either. Just set the alarm, get up. And get out of the room. Andrew sets six alarms. So six times I hear, and mine, because I'm a light sleeper, it's like, and I hear it and turn it off. His six times goes right in my, like, that's my sleep in time. And I hear it and turn it off. His six times goes, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Right in my, like, that's my sleep in time. It's so aggressive. It's so rude. So rude. It would be better for me to set one alarm and just like push him out of bed. And then I'm done with it. But then you've woken up.

Yeah, okay. There'd be no going back to sleep. Yeah, right. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just, it just gets me don't know. I'm just... It just gets me so wound up. I'm with you on this one.

It gets me so wound up. Snoozes. Snoozing. Snooze alarms. Although you didn't use... You say you didn't even snooze today. You didn't even hear your alarm go off. I see you have a screen cap, right?

Yeah. I know, but you could have just turned that back on. No, because you couldn't... If you turn that sleep thing off, it won't show you last night's... It's admissible evidence. Situation. You could have faked show you last night's situation. It's admissible evidence. You could have faked that up. I'm sorry.

It's admissible in court. That's when I woke up. Semantics, Your Honour. I was like, all right, no shower this morning. It's time for some Photoshop. Photoshop a fake alarm. Photoshop a fake sleep through the alarm with absolutely no break in that line.

And the kidding, I did not go back to sleep, Your Honour. I just never woke up in the first place. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Just quickly on snoozing,

somebody said some text messages in, we were just talking about how everybody hates snooze alarms. Someone said they've text messages in, we're just talking about how everybody hates snooze alarms. Someone said they've got to deal with their partner that if they snooze more than twice,

they'll be able to karate chop them in the throat. Oh my God. Well, that'll wake you up or block your earwax. You're like, say I have to work.

Love you. So there you go. And they said they haven't done it since. Right. I don't know what that means, since they put that warning out there or since they've karate chopped them in the throat and they've not done it again.

If you've got an over 65, a parent, a close, you know, like maybe you've inherited one. Yeah, okay. And I have a 65. Once it's turned up on your doorstep.

Maybe your parents had a friend that never had kids. Oh, yeah. So you kind of became like a niecey nephew type situation. They're your responsibility now. Look at the mask,

what you're talking about. Well, you know, like somebody, your parents might have had a friend and that friend never got married or never had kids or whatever and because you were a kid and you were around, you were kind of like a niece or a nephew.

Right. And then you get older and they're an old person that's hanging around and they're yours now. Yeah, that's always weird because you always call them auntie and then they're like, oh, they're not actually related to you. Yeah, yeah. You're like, what? My whole life I thought they were my blood auntie.

Yeah. But, yeah. They're not. They're not. So one of those. Yeah, okay. I can't relate, but okay. I can. We got there. I don't have one, but I know people who have got them. Right, yeah. They're not. They're not. So one of those. Yeah, okay. I can't relate, but okay. Okay, we got there.

I don't have one, but I know people who have got them. Right, okay. I don't have one. And so they're your responsibility now. You've got to look after them. No, they're not related. Nah, you've got a responsibility. You've got a social contract.

Where are you going with this? What I'm saying is if they're over 65 with the gold cards, I personally think that should be on you with your responsibility to train them about how to use stuff. But the government is spending nearly $8 million revamping the super gold card website because apparently it's too hard to navigate for a lot of people over 65. It's a website and people are over 65. Of course it's too hard to navigate for a lot of people over 65. It's a website and people are over 65.

Of course it's too hard. I don't know. My mum's just got a gold card and she's super stoked about it. But I don't know if she even knows that there's a website to navigate. But the website, it tells you where you can use it. Do you have to activate them? Well, probably. I don't know.

God, this just sounds like another thing you've got to help. Well, that's what I think. Rather than spending the $8 million, because how do you make a website easier for people who don't know how to use? And this isn't just over 65s. There'd be some under 65s and some people who just are useless with technology. But how do you make it simpler?

Just put buttons. It would just be literally a text box that says, what do you want? And you type in, I'm imagining one finger. Index finger on each hand. You type in like, free fairy. And then you click enter and it's like, free fairy to wear. You're like, why hecky? Enter.

It's like, what do you want to go there for? Wine. Enter. And they're like, I'm imagining. This is my mum. That's totally. How simple it would have to be for some people when they're saying simplify on the website.

Well, it's just some amazing AI to guide them through. But I personally think it should be on your, like how it's your parents' responsibility when you're young that you're not an absolute shit bag. You know, that you don't go to school and spit on people or stab people. It's a slippery slope. One day you're spitting, next day you're stabbing.

Yep. It should be Our responsibility now At the other end Of the scale Is we have to look After our seniors What are you doing?

Like when my mum Shears the Range Rover With the bow on the roof Saying we're giving away 18 Range Rovers I have to message her And be like mum It's a scam

It's a scam And I've taken on Many seniors Okay Auntie Marg I message Auntie Marg if she shares one of these. I'm like, Auntie Marg,

that's a scam. She's like, thank you. She's got four kids. Where are her bloody four kids? There's one thing sending a simple text to be like, that's not a scam.

But I don't need to talk to him through a whole website. Mum, to write in that box, you actually have to click into it. I don't want to click because I'll break it. The internet.

It's so much quicker to just do it for them sometimes any of the old saying teach a man give a man a fish eat for a day teach a man to fish

well there's not enough fish but they could eat for a lifetime well maybe because they're making an app aren't they for gold card users so maybe that'll be

that's just another confusing thing that they have to deal with you freak them out with apps they get freaked out apps are freaky so my dad I showed him got on the rain radar he was just going to the website and I was like you know there's an app Yeah, freak them out with apps. They get freaked out. Apps are freaky.

So my dad, I showed him, got him the Rain Raider. He was just going to the website. And I was like, you know, there's an app for that. I'll get you the Rain Raider. He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's learned one way. He doesn't want to learn another way. He just wants the Rain Raider.

He wants the eight bloody step guy thing to get his Rain Raider. So you're saying we all need to do more of what we already hate doing. Yes. Whose side are you on here? Their side. Every time I think, my mum wiped my bum until I was 24, so I've got to help her out. Yeah, you'll wipe her bum soon.

I'm not wiping her bum. You'll have to. I will not wipe her bum. I will show her how to use the Gold Card app. But you'll draw the line there. I shan't be wiping any arses. They know this. Right. That's where the smothering comes in.

Right. That's why we've got to do our part for euthanasia to get the tick. Because as soon as mum needs her bum wiped, I'm like, she's ready. Where do we take it? No. Poor Christine. Holland. God, that's a plane ride and I'm like, she's ready. What? Where do we take her? No. Poor Christine. Holland. God, that's a plane riding away.

She'll shoot herself at least twice on the way there. Oh, my God. I'm not cleaning her up on the plane. They've got an agreement. She's clearly not listening at this time of the morning. Yeah, she'd be all for this. She is. All right.

Tell you what, that's our deal. If Hans' mother are with a pillow, take it a hole and show us some tulips and... Maybe at your last sight

it's a lovely field full of tulips. Oh my God. God, no good if she wants to go in winter though. No flowers out. Sorry.

Just take her to a cafe for some brownies and then show the red light district. ZM's Fletch Warner Meganughan and Megan, the podcast. A woman has gone viral. Her flat has done something that everyone is like, say what? Say what?

So her flat goes through nine rolls of toilet paper in a week. I'm just trying to think. Nine rolls of toilet paper a week and how many are there in there? Three. Three people. So three adults are using, so each adult is using three rolls a week, so roughly half a roll of toilet paper a day,

each adult. Now, we don't know, you don't know. That is a lot when you break it down like that. Because you're pooping once a day, that's your heavy roll usage. Otherwise, it's just a dab dab, right? And you're like, what are you pooping once a day? That's your heavy roll usage. Otherwise, it's just a dab dab,

right? And you don't, you're not always at home. Like, you have to go to the bathroom elsewhere. That's a very good point. What about those cheap rolls though? You know,

the really, really budget toilet paper. Yeah. It's, it's quite, they're small rolls. They're less ply. Hi there, Vaughn here. Purchaser of said cheap toilet paper. Yeah. It's, they're small rolls, they're less ply. Hi there, Vaughn here,

purchaser of said cheap toilet roll. Do you buy the cheap toilet rolls? Oh, for the bathroom that's not our bathroom. For the girls.

We get the three ply and ours and then, right. Yeah, the girls go through a lot and like visitors, blah. But this is because

you buy the one ply that we're going to pull it out and make their own three ply. I grew up on one ply and it made me the man I am today. You just end up using more and folding it over. It's character you're buying one ply. They've got to pull it out and make their own three ply. Hey, I grew up on one ply and it made me the man I am today. You just end up using more and folding it over.

It's character building when your finger goes through the paper and you get a bit of pill in it. Oh, my God. It makes you a great person. So, but then still you don't use that much. Like, you don't use three times as much one ply if you're used to three ply. No, no. Are you sure?

It's just a positive so i tell because i use those long rolls they're like changed my life revolution what do you steal one out of a public door or something you've got one of those plastic things on the wall that's an ultra long roll that's an ultra long roll you only get three squares at once before it rips because you don't want you taking too much. So when I say three adults too, if you had to guess, I would have said majority female. What would you say? I don't know.

I would have assumed females. Two men and one female. Really? What are they doing? Are they using it for everything though? Are they using it for tissue? Blowing your nose? Yeah.

Or like wiping up? So what? Instead of a paper towel? Yeah, yeah. So one of them put this online and now everyone's gone, why do you all use so much toilet paper? She said, well, we buy nine rolls and we use 90% of it, so we don't have much left at the end of the week.

Yeah, I don't know. I buy one of those massive nine packs of long rolls and they last ages. Oh, but it's a long roll. It's just you those massive nine packs of long rolls. And how long? And they last ages. Oh, but it's a long roll. But it's just you. It's just me using it. But even still. We wouldn't go through nine.

That's a lot. Because we buy the big 18 pack. You always poop at work too. Sometimes. Don't out me as at work. A work pooper. Sometimes it just happens at work. Yeah.

But that's what I mean is that most people. Yeah, to use nine rolls at home. Would not. Yeah, are they all working from home? They've got to be at home all day. They've got to be using it for multiple purposes. These are those flatmates though. We've all lived with someone that uses their.

More than their share. More than their share of something communal. Yeah. Whether it's toilet paper. Oh, yeah. Whether it's like, you know, flat food. Cheese. Cheese. Whether it's toilet paper. Oh, yeah. Whether it's like, you know, flat food. Cheese. Cheese.

I had a flatmate because that was like gold. You can't do flat cheese these days. No, because we had all the mincey dishes. You need the cheese for like your spag bowls and your lasagnas and that stuff. But this one flatmate used way more than his fair share of the cheese. Would he just grate himself a plate? Yeah, and just slice off some. You don't have flatmates.

That's your cheese. You do with your cheese while you're in front of a winner's communal cheese. You can't just sit down to a plate of grated cheese anymore. And why does grated cheese taste so much better than sliced? I don't know, but it does. It's aerated. It's the air around it. It's the air around the cheese.

It lets it breathe in the flavour molecules. Well, can we take some calls of those flatmates that maybe you live with now or that you have lived with or just people that are in your house that use more than their fair share of something? People that live in your house? You mean like flatmates or family? Well, it could be family, yeah.

Yeah, right. Or people that... I'm just talking about people that aren't flatting. Right. So you don't have to be flatting to participate in this, but maybe there's someone in your house or flat that uses more than their fair share of something. Whether it's the cheese, maybe they're sneaking the cheese.

That sounds like a double entendre. Who's sneaking the cheese? That's like 10 bucks a block, though. That's like yellow gold. What do you do if someone in the flat is using way more toilet paper? And how would you know who it is? You're not there when they're using it. Put a mark on the toilet roll.

Yeah, you. There's always somebody in the flat who will take the investigation under their wing and try to work out who it is. And you know what? Some of the times it's actually them doing it.

All right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-ATM-9696. We're naming and shaming what your partner or flatmate or family are using more than their fair share of. Yep. A flat's gone viral for using nine rolls of toilet paper a week. Yep.

Some text messages in on what's been used too much by some people. And toilet paper seems to be the big culprit. Well, because you can also use it like if you've got a cold, you could go through a roll blowing your nose. Yeah, that's true. In a day, couldn't you? Yeah. Easily. Yeah, well, that's what somebody said.

They've got their friend's girlfriend constantly has a snotty nose. I tried to make sure there were boxes of tissues all around the house, but she would walk around carrying loo, toilet roll, constantly blowing her nose into it. She'd come and stay for a weekend. She'd go through two rolls on her own just by blowing her nose. What's more expensive though? Toilet paper or buying tissues?

Because I would have thought the tissues were kind of a luxury. Yeah, but they said it was the inconvenience of running out, going to the toilet and being sat there having done your business and realise that there's no toilet roll because old snots McEllergy's are staying for the weekend. That sounds like a flat meeting needs to be called when she's not there.

Oh my God, I don't miss flatting. And that needs to be brought up and she needs to pay a $2 fee per day for the weekend. Someone's admitting that they're the one that goes through the toilet roll. They go through a toilet roll a day. My flatmates used to get furious, but it's not my fault. I have a fast metabolism. Also, I just need to use a lot of toilet paper to clean up. They're a thorough

cleaner. They need one of those... No, they're not good for the environment and they don't break down and they don't flush well. Those wet wipe situations, they were... Or a bidet. A bidet is what they mean. A bidet. Danielle, this is your sister. She has a high usage in your household of what?

It's Daniel. It's Nutella. Daniel, can we just hold on there sister, she has a high usage in your household of what? Oh, it's Daniel. It's Nutella. Daniel, can we just hold on there for a minute? Sorry for the gender confusion. Daniel. Producer Caitlin. Does he sound like a Danielle? Danielle.

It says Danielle, Caitlin. Are you French, Daniel? Maybe you spell it Danielle. It says Daniel on my screen. I don't Maybe you spell it Danielle. It says Daniel on my screen. I don't know why it says Danielle. Like, literally,

come and have a look at my screen. Go and have a look because she's absolutely sorry about this, Daniel. We're going to clear this up, mate.

We'll just clear this up. Yeah. Look. Here's some toilet paper. What does it say on her screen? It does say Daniel on Caitlin's screen.

Well, how is it saying Danielle? Oh, no. Did you change it from Danielle to Daniel? I did. She did. So she changed after she put it through. I changed it. I pressed enter. God, I might have slept in this morning

but this, she's gender swapped him. Did you press enter after you wrote it? Yes! Look, it's right here. Please apologise to Danielle. Daniel, I'm sorry. I never I knew that your name was Daniel the whole time. My brain just did that thing where I said something

and then it did something else. Right. Guys, let's not argue in front of the kids. We'll argue when they go to bed, like every good marriage. Now we sound like very unprofessional. No, you don't. Look, apologies, Daniel. Daniel, hello.

Hey, Daniel, welcome to the show. What is it that your sister uses too much of? Nutella. Oh, how much are we. What is it that your sister uses too much of? Nutella. Oh, how much are we talking? How much will she go through? Like a centimetre on one slice of bread and, you know, like spoonfuls rather than just a swipe, you know, of Nutella. Oh, my God.

Okay. So she puts it on with one of those spatulas that you use to get all the cake mix out of the cake bowl. That's a luxury too. It's almost like an excavator of Nutella onto your bread. You're not the only person. Someone else said that they had to stop buying it. Their daughter loved it, but they had to stop buying it because their 28-year-old man-child would eat an entire jar of spoon.

Daniel, thanks for your call. Olivia? Good morning. Good morning. This is your husband that goes through what? He's obsessed with milk. Right. So how much milk is he going through in a week or a day?

Oh, he could easily do a three litre in one night. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's really bad. Is he drinking it just straight up or is he making cold Marlows? No, he does it when he's half asleep. So, like, last night we bought a three litre and I heard him get up in the middle of the night and I said, be careful of the milk.

So I woke up this morning and it is half gone. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like a real issue. I'm going to make him buy his own milk. What's happening to his body where he wakes up in the middle of the night and he needs milk? I don't know. He doesn't drink much water.. What's happening to his body where he wakes up in the middle of the night and he needs milk? I don't know. He doesn't drink much water.

Your husband's got a calf, is he? He loves his milk. You married a calf. This is the best of us. Olivia, thanks for your cool text messages. Somebody said, not toilet roll, but handy towel roll, the paper towel roll. Somebody said every time our kids use it, they pull off three meters of it and fold it all down into one really thick square

and then wipe things up with it. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Somebody said I was always getting up the kids about how many yogurt puddles they were eating and they were like, it's not us. Yeah, right, you'd say that. You'd get home from school and you'd and they were like, well, it's not us. Yeah, right. You'd say that. You'd get home from school and you'd eat all the yogurt. Turns out it was my husband.

He'd sit down and he said, one of those yogurt puddles is for a child, so I needed three. Why don't we just buy a big yogurt? And he's like, well, blame the kids.

There's no fun. You've got to pull the lid off, don't you? And then lick the lid and you try to get the lid off all in one go. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, last night, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM.

Well, last night, the final episode ever of Game of Thrones has left people a little bit empty. A little bit upset. We asked earlier this morning for those that watched it on our Instagram poll, were you satisfied with the finale of the episode?

The finale? 63% said nope. Really? Nope. I'm getting more satisfied with it as time goes by. Yeah, a little bit of stew in there. Yeah.

It's never going to be what we'd hoped for, but I mean, could we have done a better job? Probably. Probably not. Given enough time, no, probably not.

It was, yeah. Tell you what, it's going to sell some books, though. When old Betty McGold, mate, with the train driver hat, gets around to writing them, many people will buy the books. I think you see how he wanted to edit. He's too lazy to finish Game of Thrones.

He's mucking around. So, in America, they are bracing themselves. It's Monday, so it's screen Sunday night in America. Yeah. So, on Monday, they are bracing themselves. It's Monday, so it's screened Sunday night in America. Yeah. So on Monday, they're bracing themselves for a bit of an economic hit because they say 10 point, they're estimating 10.7 million Americans won't go to work or they'll turn up late.

But they watch it on a Sunday night. So you can still go to work the next day. Well, apparently either it's from the trauma or they just stayed up too late. Well, some people actually had viewing parties. Yeah. Right.

What, and then just got absolutely blocked to drown their sorrows. And just stayed awake. So, apparently, it often happens with finales and it has happened

with Game of Thrones before. They suffer a massive economic hit and productivity the next day. I guess if you go to work, everyone's just like, oh my God, I'm so going to die. Well, I read a study that the average Game of Thrones person spent an hour of their work week following talking about Game of Thrones and that there was 35.8 million Game of Thrones fans in America.

So it would add up to $3.3 billion in revenue loss. Just chatting about. From one season about Game of Thrones. Wow. But I mean, it's our job to talk about Game of Thrones. So we're actually adding to the productivity. Yeah. Yeah, we are.

Like we haven't shut down a factory to talk about it, have we? No. We're doing it and doing our job. I know. Don't worry about it, have we? No. We're doing it and doing our job. I know. Don't worry about it. You didn't even go. People listening didn't even notice that. No spoilers for last night's episode, but a couple of, another blooper got through.

A couple of water bottles were spotted. There was a famous coffee cup incident. Yeah. Last week, there was the famous. Would you, if you were the creator and you, like, after the coffee cup incident, would you not, like not just triple check? Go back in the next two episodes to come. Would it be too late though?

That would be all in the bag and signed, sealed, delivered. What if they open the Final Cut Pro session and try to digital out any mistakes? But HBO managed to digitally remove the cup, I suppose afterwards. Yeah. But you just double check. Who's to say there's not an upcoming plastics problem

in West Rose? I hope they've got a recycling centre Well they just found petroleum So the by-product is plastic They've started using a lot of that So that could be the next Game of Thrones too Them battling the real war man Pollution

And global warming Although that'd be nice Because up north still looks pretty bloody cold. Well, we've toured New Zealand with our Fact of the Day pub quiz. And something else that goes great in a pub is bingo. And we have your chance to win cash and prizes starting off in Auckland tomorrow. Now, this is at the Elephant Wrestler, your larger than life local

and you can register if you'd like to come along at ZM Online. And up, coming up... We are going to Wellington Wednesday the 29th of May, then to Christchurch Wednesday the 5th of June and Dunedin Thursday the 6th of June. Now, Dunedin will be at Starters Bar, venues still to be confirmed for Wellington Christchurch.

We're, so we're, Wellington? Let's do the Michael Fowler. No, the Town Hall. Let's do Town Hall. Let's think big. Right, okay. The Michael Fowler's good, isn't it? Michael Fowler, that's lovely.

It looks lovely. Yes, yes. It's lovely in there. Is that actually, are we earthquake okay there? Oh, yeah. We should check that. We should check that. Isn't that actually a wee earthquake okay there? Oh, yeah. We should check that. We should check that. Isn't that in that block of...

Oh, look, I don't know. I don't know if that was... We'll do it at the library. We'll do it at the Wellington Library. Can we do it there? No, that's definitely not... It's got a sign on the window. I just don't...

Sure, we can ask. I don't know if they want rowdy... Let's do it at the stadium on the ground. Oh, my God. Cankton, rotating stage. Love it. Not too fast, I'll be sick. We've got to think.

Okay, Fletch, okay. Let's get an inter-islander and full steam it into Frank Kitts and we'll do it on there. Oh, my God. Just speed two, baby. Straight up. If we don't do a venue, we might have to bet Frank Kitts, actually. But we'll let you know, though.

Register at ZM Online. Cash and prizes up for grabs. Megan, you've taken delivery of the bingo ball machine. I have. Do you want to hear it? Tell everybody how you hurt yourself with it yesterday. So there's a little trap door where you have to put the balls in. But goodness me, it's so, like, you have to push it really hard for it to go down, like, to shut.

Yeah, a lot of excuses. She slammed her finger in the wire. My finger got, my finger went between the door. And it was, best part was it was trapped in there and she couldn't. Listen to it shut. Okay, my finger was in here. Yeah. Yeah.

Ah! Oh, my God. She did it again. I don't want to do it anymore. The best part was you shut that. It took you a second to realise your finger was going. And she's like, oh. That's so dangerous. You're an adult. Give us a spin to realise your finger was going into that. That's so dangerous.

You're an adult. Give us a spin though, because this sounds pretty legit. 88, 22, 72. So good. It's good stuff. You know Sonia? That doesn't look like me. Well, she doesn't have to spin it.

Sonia Gray. No, it's automatic. Now, so we've got the bingo ball machine. The legit bingo, what do you call them? What do you call the number things, Caitlin? Numbers? Balls. The books.

The pads. And you dab the pad. That's all legit stuff. So we've got those ready to go. Vaughan, you've been running through a list of the bingo calls because we've gone through the traditional bingo calls, like Legs 11. Yeah. And some of them are a bit old and fuddy-duddy, aren't they?

Like, they're bizarre references. I don't like that Two Fat Ladies one. That's offensive. No, it's gone. What was that? 88. It's gone. 88.

It doesn't even rhyme. It's gone. I mostly spent a lot of time on the rhyming dictionary yesterday. Okay. The website finding things that rhymed with numbers. Some of them a little bit of a stretch, but they all kind of either rhyme. Give us a couple. Do you have a couple there you can give us?

What do you want, 88? Yeah. Two fat ladies is 88 to humans who are overweight. So it's not specifically targeting females and it's not saying fat. It's just saying overweight. Yes, it is. 88 to humans that are overweight. So it's not specifically targeting females and it's not saying fat. It's just saying overweight. Yes, it is. 88 to humans that are overweight. Okay.

Right. Give us another couple then. What number? Oh, no, wait. Oh, yeah, good call. 72. That's really loud for me. Like, do we need the microphone right on it?

I feel like you've... What's with the sound effects? Do it again now. I'll do it half down. Do it now, Megan. I think we can all agree that's better. It's not as much though, is it? 71.

72. 72. Hullabaloo. Okay. Yeah. When you're 72, you think everything's a hullabaloo. Okay. Yeah. When you're 72, you think everything's a hullabaloo. 72. 39.

72. 39. 39. Red Red Wine. And then we play the song Red Red Wine. Oh, brilliant. From UB40. So lots of them have actually got songs attached to them.

Right. But there's not a song about every single number. Producer James, you will be our DJ. Dee James. Dee James for the night. Yeah, so Al and I have been sort of in the think tank, making up some music and stuff, and we will be playing songs for a lot of the numbers that come out.

Right, now you've got your DJ laptop there. What is this thing in front of you? So it's almost a mini keyboard with also some touchpads to kick some things off. Right. So what happens if you press a button? Well, see, of course. Could you give us the intro? Yep, sure.

Let me just work on that. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan's Cha-Chingo Bingo. There we go. And then we can pop the music. Oh, yeah, good. Okay. So that would happen if number three comes out.

Oh, right. Okay, brilliant. Brilliant. Now, you've got some sound effect buttons? Yeah, also, I have, of course, a classic ear horn as well

that we can throw down. That's when someone gets a bingo. Yeah. And then just a Classic freak dance Can we turn the music off So we can hear the

Okay There's a lot going on There's a lot going on There's a lot going on So what are we up to Let's go air horn That was good Do a double

Do a double Oh yeah That's good That's good Yo mama That's what. That's good. Yo, mama. That's what you're doing. You're like roasting someone in an urban rap battle.

Yeah, right. Fletchborn and Megan and then the air horn makes us sound legit. Ba-ba-ba-ba-bingo. Fletchborn and Megan's Cha-ching-go-bingo. It's like I'm Linkin Park. What? It's like I'm a Linkin Park. They had one of these. Like you're a Linkin Park.

Like I'm the Linkin Park. What's the correct, are they a singular or a definitive? Yeah, right. Well, there we go. DJ James, ready to go. Yeah, right. Well, anyway, DJ James, ready to go. Yeah. Yes.

DJ James. Here's Carly Disclosure. Thank you. Thank you. Fact of the day, day, day, about spelling bees. Oh, yeah. Have you ever caught a spelling bee accidentally? Oh, you see it in the news and they're always some brainy kid that's 10

and they spell a word I can't spell. They've never even heard the words before. Yeah, there's words that are like, in this article that I was reading about spelling days, there's a word, like, I don't even know how to say them. Yeah, it's crazy, right? Pongiatura or something. Pongiatura. What is a pongiatura?

Oh, shit, I don't even know how to say it. I don't know what it means. Don't they make you say it in a sentence sometimes too? No, they, you can ask them when you're trying to work out how to spell it. You can ask. It's a grace note which delays the next note of a melody

taking half or more of its written time value. What? No. It's a musical thing. Okay. A-pog-a-pog-a-do-do-do. That's exactly how it is.

So they might ask you to spell that and you would. Okay. Well, you would try to. I wouldn't. I'd give it a rough go and then probably start crying and want my mum and then leave. Okay. Well, you would try to. I wouldn't. I'd give it a rough go and then probably start crying

and want my mum and then leave. But what about in languages that aren't English? You ever seen a non-English spelling bee? No.

Well, that is because they don't really happen. Non-English speaking languages, they don't have the weird rules like I before A except after C, except if your neighbor's weighing a weird something or the other. You know that? You know how they say I before A except after C, but there's like a hundred breaches to that rule.

There's ph, P-H, there's ph, F, and then there's Stephen, V, Stephen, P-H. There's all these weird ways of spelling things in the English language because it's kind of an amalgamation of all these other languages. Well, other languages don't have those confusing rules. So all kids can probably spell the same words. So there's no point having spelling bees.

Like Japanese, the characters in Japanese and Chinese, if you can spell basic words, you can spell long words because it's just those sounds added together. Not confusing things like in the English language where you see a word written down and then you hear it said like agapogiatura. I'd actually

said how to say that. Okay, what's your bet? How close am I? Apogiatura. This is how it's said. You bet? How close am I? Apogiatura. Apogiatura. This is how it's said. You got my sound on? Yep. Apogiatura. Apogiatura. Apogiatura. I just got the G. I was a hard G. Apogiatura. Apogiatura.

Apogiatura. Whereas you get... Do you get an email? Nah, a text message into the studio. That's the noise that the text machine makes. Oh, cute. Yeah. English isn't a real languages. That's the noise that the text machine makes. Oh, cute. Yeah. English isn't a real languages. It's four languages under the trench coat of pretending to be a language. That's what that text message just came and said.

An attack on our language there. But yeah, in other languages, once you can like spell and you know the basic sounds of the language, you should be able to spell any word in that language because it is just literally those sounds pushed together whereas in English there's no real rules, is there? That's why it's such a confusing language to spell and learn.

You hear that learning English is quite hard, isn't it? Yeah, once you've learnt English you can kind of learn other languages. But then once you've learnt English it's hard to learn other languages because you're so used to English. You've got to do it when you're young. You've got to learn other languages. Yeah. Because you're so used to English. You've got to do it when you're young.

Yeah. You've got to do it when you're young. So today's fact of the day is you don't see spelling bees in non-English languages because they don't really exist. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. 320 sheep would be quite a flock but that's not the entire flock but 320 sheep was stolen

southwest of Gore valid at $65,000 too those 320 sheep was stolen southwest of Gore. Valid at $65,000 too, those 320 sheep. Do you remember those cows? Weren't they cows stolen? Yep. Rustling is nuts, but it still happens in New Zealand. Federated Farmers said that cost of livestock theft is over $120 million a year in New Zealand.

Cows becoming excessively hard to steal if they're tagged right. Well, you know with microplasma bovis thing going around. I recently helped my parents sort some stock. Yeah, no big deal but yeah. Got in there and it stuck. Yeah, it's like get up, get up. But I was asking

Dad because they've got so many more ear tags than I remember when I was a kid. But they've got like these white ones with radio chips in them and they wave a wand at the library when they scan your box out. And it can let you know where your cows are because every one of those air tags has a thing in it.

And when they scan it, it goes through the internet. If my dad's got cows with his associated air tags and it beeps it as it's going on a stock truck, he gets a notification on his phone. Oh. That his cows are on the move. Move.

Intentional. So that must be making it harder to steal cows, right? You'd think so. I think they're called NAT tags, N-A-T tags. Right. So much harder to, hey, buddy, you want to buy a cow? No NAT tags, if you know what I'm saying. Black market cows. It's like trying to steal someone's cat or dog if it if you know what I'm saying. Black market cows.

Like trying to steal someone's cat or dog if it's microchipped. Yeah, they can scan it. The vet can scan it. Yeah. And then see it's not yours. Yeah, exactly. If it's been registered stolen, it pops up. But $65,000 worth of sheep stolen.

But they're not tagged, are they, the sheep? They would have air tags, but I don't think as intensely as stock. You'd have to get a big truck. I know. Would that be fit on one truck? And it's stock. You'd have to get a big truck. I know. Would that be fit on one truck? And it's not like you can do it

over a whole afternoon. You're going to have to do it quickly at night. Well it famously happens in the movie Babe. And the pig alerts

the farmer to it and he storms on down there and the dogs get there and they chase them off. Right. But yeah, that was like

10, 20 sheep. 320. It's got to be a truck and a trailer. Now, I'm interested if anybody's listening, if there's any stock truck drivers driving right now, how much would you need to move 320 sheep? Yeah, because would that be more than one truck and trailer? I don't know.

You'd have to pile up your sheep, like Tetris your sheep in. You said that was, what, south of Gore? Yes. I don't know if these cases are related, but a giant statue of a zebra, a huge plastic zebra, which was used as a mascot for a car company, was stolen in broad daylight. What?

A mascot for a car company? Yeah, I don't know what. Zebra cars? They were just like, hey, come in here because I've got a giant zebra out the front. Do you need a used car? Zebra. No, because you've got to stand out if you're doing something like selling cars.

You probably just picked it up from some secondhand shop. Right. It was an old movie problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Well, yeah, apparently stolen in broad daylight. And they don't know where it is. But again, like the balls to do that in broad daylight.

Like when people try to remember those hivers workers nicked that gnome. That giant. The giant sculpture gnome outside the Auckland Art Gallery. That got found. Because they released some footage. Yes. And I think the people freaked out and they were like, uh-oh, we've got to hide this giant gnome we've got.

Yeah. But it's amazing that, you know, people have the balls to nick 300 sheep or a giant zebra. I can't get the sheep because, you know, on sale. But like eating mutton for the rest of your life. But what are you doing with the giant zebra? Do they have wheels on it? Do they like wheel it away?

I'm unsure. They said they would have needed to. It's two metres long and three metres. Yeah, it took two of them. And three metres long. Yeah, two of them... Two metres tall and three metres long. Yeah, two of them to lift it onto a trailer, so it would have needed a couple of people. Well, we want to talk about brazen theft.

What could you not believe? Oh, somebody said, by the way, you would be able to fit all those sheep on one truck and trailer. Wow, really? Wow. As a... Because you'd go double-decker. Yeah, right.

That's not just putting a sheep on top of another sheep. You put them on the bottom and then you put down a ramp and you go to the top. You'd want to be incker. Yeah, right. That's not just putting a sheep on top of another sheep. You put them on the bottom and then you put down a ramp and you go to the top. You'd want to be in the business class sheep. Are the business class sheep upstairs? Very roomy. Very roomy. Okay.

Very roomy in the livestock A380. And they've got a bar. Good from you. Good from you. Really good from you. Very nice. I liked that. See ya.

I did moves. You're done for the day. Bar. Leech. I'll think of one. Okay. I liked that. See ya. I did moves, you do. You're done for the day. But Fletch. I'll think of one. Okay. I've got time. You take your time. You take your time, sweetheart.

Good things take time. We'll come back to Fletch in 10, 15 minutes when he's sort of an animal noise pun. We want to hear from you. 0800-DARLS.M 9696. What can you believe was stolen? Maybe something huge or just in numbers. We'll take some calls.

Sophie, what can you believe was stolen? Well, my partner's a musician, and he has kind of a makeshift recording studio in our garage with like $40,000 worth of, he's got like six guitars, drum kit, mixing desk. Oh, God. Okay. Yeah, God. Okay. Yeah.

And they broke in with two cars in the driveway, us all asleep in the house. And some of the stuff is so heavy, they would have needed two guys to carry it. And they would have needed like a truck or a van to load it all into because there was that much stuff. So they would have pulled up our driveway with us all asleep in the house and took it all. Wow. And it would have taken them the house and took it all. Wow. And it would have taken them a while to get it all out, I'm imagining. Yeah, exactly. And my partner was up until, like, midnight in the next room on his laptop,

like, mixing stuff. So thankfully they didn't get that. But obviously they came after midnight. We were up at six with the kids. We've got two young kids. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess they had some of the power window, yeah. That's crazy.

All that music you're still on, that would have had a bad night. Yeah. It was really stormy as well. So I don't, I mean, I guess that's kind of the cover of town. Yeah, it's when cars. It would have got saturated. Car theft rates go through the roof on windy and stormy nights because apparently it covers the noise so well.

Thanks to your call, Sophie. Tracy, what can't you believe was stolen? I had someone break into my house and steal a jar of lollies and a phone charger. What kind of lollies? Honestly, they were really terrible lollies. Just leftovers from, like, lolly scrambles. Oh, yeah. Like the black jelly

beans the mint leaves milk bottles yeah they were terrible not even worth stealing they went to the trouble of breaking in they're like wow nice we'll have a little yeah yeah i reward my reward it for for me yeah all right uh thanks you're cool tracy uh aaron what can't you believe was stolen uh so we had um we had put in like a tree sort of thing in the front of our house. Okay. Like a small tree. It's a tree sort of thing. I don't know if you guys are familiar with them. They grow.

They trunk here, leaves here. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So you'd planted a tree. And I think we put like bark and everything down. So it was, you know, fully in the ground. Right. And it disappeared.

And it looked like the people that had taken it had dug it up really well and then replaced all the dirt and everything around it. And it looked like they had swept the sidewalk and everything. So we kept driving past it every day and didn't even realise it was gone for about a week. Was that kind of to make you think that maybe it had just gone underground or something? I don't know. It disappeared itself. What kind of tree was it? Was it maybe it had just gone underground or something? I don't know. It disappeared itself. What kind of tree was it?

Was it like a really extensive palm tree or something? No, no, no, no. It was, oh God, I don't even know what it was. It was like a big rhododendron sort of thing that was going to get, you know. Right. And that is knocked off. It's pretty well established. Brilliant.

Erin, thanks for your call. Lauren, what can't you believe was stolen? All my adult toys. My whole drawer full. A whole drawer full? Yep, my whole drawer full of adult toys. And nothing else? No, other stuff as well, but yeah, I couldn't believe that.

Did they take the drawer or did they just slide the drawer out and take the whole drawer? No, they left the drawer behind. So they emptied it into something. Yeah, I mean, there's a whole hygiene thing. Big old hygiene issue for me there. Because there's not a resale market for that, is there? Nobody's buying a secondhand adult toy, are they? Yeah, well, I've seen a couple of community notices of people selling it.

Really? Secondhandies. One. Secondhand. Secondhand ones. Yeahes. Secondhand. Secondhand ones. Yeah, right. Okay. I thought maybe they put a photo up of me on the ad and, you know,

were used by her. Up the self-price. Up the self-price. Rate yourself. Brilliant. Love it. Thanks for your call, Lauren. Ask for text messages.

Somebody said, yesterday at our work, someone broke in and tried to steal all the air fresheners. Really weird. I don't know. They sound like flash air fresheners. They're all centralised, so they all go off at the same time, and they're like hard, they're wired into the wall. Are they like a potpourri?

I don't know. They sound ooh-la-la. But they couldn't get them off, so they just stole two computer screens. Yeah. That's so weird and somebody else said apparently

the hashtag from the hashtag love topo sign got stolen from the lakefront it's now padlocked down

shouldn't it have been like concreted down or something in the first place I would have thought the whole thing would have been if you leave your hashtag

able to be picked up someone someone's going to steal it. Someone's going to steal it, yeah. Someone's going to take that hashtag. Or float it on the lake. That's actually probably where it's going. If it's picking up a stone. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say it lives here. ZM.