ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 22 2019

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

teaching yourself off Youtube, Community Notices and when did you know you loved your partner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. I always thought the Manuka was getting too much praise compared to its cousin, the Kanuka. Which they're more or less identical. What's the Kanuka? First of all, don't you say Kanuka? Kanuka. You're all going Kanuka Kānuka? Kānuka. You're all going Kānuka.

I think it's Kānuka. How's it spelled, Anya? It's spelled with a K. But then over the A, the next A, is there the long, drawn-out Kānuka, or is it Kānuka? Yes, look, there's a Kānuka. I stand corrected. Kānuka. Thank you.

So, because I once on a walk pondered to myself, what is the difference between the kānuka and the mānuka? And I googled it. I didn't even know this thing existed. Because when you do trail walks at school, they're always like the mānuka and the kānuka. Kānuka grows straighter and longer. It grows taller.

Mānuka is more of a small-ish. But for a long time, biologists, when they first got to New Zealand, just thought they were the same trees. And then everyone's all about manuka honey, aren't they? Well, you can sell it to overseas countries for $800 a pottle. But then I always wondered, why is kanuka honey not as good? And it's good to see kanuka. It's not cheaper.

Let's jump on this. What about Caitlin's dad? He's a bee man. We don't do Manuka. It doesn't grow in the South Island. It's semi-coasts away. It's got to be a bit warmer. Is it?

It doesn't grow in Fairleigh. Yeah. Or in South, because we've got South Canterbury bees. Are they not allowed in the North Island? No. No, they get drafted to the Crusaders. Right. I don't know how it works, guys.

You know this. Don't ask me questions about bees. Okay. But it's good to see some Karnooka news. For the little known. The long-forgotten. The long-forgotten Anooka between the mart and the car. I'm very pleased Karnooka's putting its hand up.

They're like, hey, I know our other cousin's quite hot I'm very pleased Kanuka's putting its hand up and being like hey I know our other cousin's quite hot and you guys have got the hots for him her

but we're over here producing flowers too alright coming up on the show alright mate coming up on the show we've got the top six I regret nothing

alright you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, as always. Three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan, deliberate. Pick one headline only. Headline one.

Florida Airbnb complaint. Headline two. Barack Obama told man to take crystal meth, according to statement. And headline three, spider launches kayak. It's Florida, so it could be good. Yeah. Well, it's always good in Florida. So it was a Florida Airbnb complaint, wasn't it?

That was one. I mean, two is nonsense. It, it's always Florida. Florida Airbnb complaint, wasn't it? That was one. I mean, two is nonsense. Self-explained. Yeah, it is self-explained. Or three. Three, a spider

launches a kayak. Yeah. Spider. Oh. Yeah, I spider. Heads or tails? Spider.

You want spider? Yeah, I'll go spider. Okay. You win, Megan. Yes. Oh, I didn't know it was a competition tails? Spider. You want spider? Yeah, I'll go spider. Okay. You win, Megan. Yes. Oh, I didn't know it was a competition. Now I want one. That's quality.

That's quality right here, isn't it? We go now. Hang on. I've just got to close down this. Do you want to subscribe to our free breaking news newsletter? No. No Atlanta news now. I do not want to.

We go now to Atlanta where a woman was launching a kayak into a river at the weekend. Now, she had the kayak on a trailer. Must have been a big kayak. She'd just walk it down. Yeah, why would that need a trailer? Yeah, I'm not too sure. Well, she had the van.

She had a van and behind it the trailer. So she went down the boat ramp and just as she was at the water, she noticed an eight-legged creature on her leg. A spider on her leg. And that's when it jumped onto her lap. And that's when she jumped out of the van and the van rolled into the river yeah that would happen to me i'd do that not only did she launch her kayak she also launched the

trailer everything the van into the river yeah uh by the time the uh state trooper had arrived the van uh had long slipped out of sight uh she stated that it had floated downstream a few feet and within seconds it was totally submerged. A passerby in a boat attempted to locate the van, but without success. Apparently the woman's insurance company will foot the bill for a dive team to locate the van and tow it out of the river. How deep is this river?

To locate the van? Like, it's gone, gone. It's gone. They can't find it. I mean, there's a picture. Gone, gone. Of the river. They can't find it. I mean, there's a picture. Gone, gone. Of the river. It looks like your medium-sized river.

It must just be deep. Oh, yeah. It looks like a deepy. Like, kind of like a Waikato River. Like a deep murky. A still water runs deep. Not one you'd swim in. No, you probably wouldn't.

You don't know what's in there. Yeah, you probably wouldn't swim in there. No. Oh, my Lord. But, yeah. But if they find the van, you're not going to be able to drive it again, right? No, they just have to get it out. Right.

I guess for pollution reasons. Right. But I've never... Have you ever backed down a boat ramp? Yeah. I don't know if I'd back myself to do that. I've backed into a boat ramp in a two-wheel drive U. How'd that go?

And as soon as the boat came off the trailer, the weight went to the back of the trailer and it kind of, like, picked the back wheels up off the back. Yeah. Look, it was not an ideal situation. And then it was like weeeeee skinning, so we had to get some other people at the boat ramp to stand on the back of the ute to put the weight back on the wheels that moved.

Sounds very dangerous. Yeah. Something very exhilarating about getting a boat. Did you not have the trailer far enough into the water? No, we did, but then we were just coming out. I don't know what happened, but the weight must have been a back-heavy trailer. Right. Yeah, it must have been the trailer.

No, you're right, actually. Maybe it wasn't far enough in because maybe the boat was still touching the back of the trailer and that kind of pushed the weight in anyway. Yeah, sounds like it. It's quite exhilarating. I love putting the boat back onto the trailer where someone on the boat's got to take a bit of a... You've got to be floating there waiting for someone to back in

and then they've got to go... They've launched themselves up onto the trailer. I'd miss that and hit the side. Yeah, good fun. You hook the front of it and then you wind it in. I just... You don't jump it onto the trailer. No, no, you jump it onto the trailer.

You've got to push it up onto the trailer. No, you hook no. You jump it onto the trailer. You've got to push it up onto the trailer. No, you hook it on and you wind it in. It's hard work. I would work in a boat ramp just putting people's boats in and out because I don't like going on boats. Okay. I think you're very seasick, but I very much like loading and unloading boats.

You'd last a day. They'd be like, what, you're jumping it onto the trailer for? I'd be like, what, do you want to wind it in, mate? I've got an electric winch. Yeah, but you've got a motor back here too. Let me jump it on. Fleshforn and Megan,

the podcast. ZM. There is a new range. This has just gone out of control. A new range of feminine hygiene products. Okay.

And the, I mean, this has been happening for a long time, but the company, Vagisil, which I think we're all familiar with. Oh, yeah, okay. They have launched a new range of sensitive scents, V-friendly bath bombs. They say they are the first scented bath product

specifically formulated for women's bits and pieces. So, basically... How's it different than a normal bath bomb? Well, I mean, you're not putting the whole bomb. You don't have to put the... No. No, no, no, no, no. You're not putting the bomb.

But there's a whole... I couldn't fit a whole bomb in that. It would need to be more of a bullet than a bomb. If you'd still want to compare it to weapons. Right. What? If you had... If you were Vornessa. I was just translating too.

If you were Vornessa. Yeah, yeah. Right. Wow. It's debatable, isn't it? Yeah, if I was Vornessa, I don't know exactly what state I'd be in. I was just referring to if I made the straight comparison to my... Yeah, there's a whole range of things that can soothe, freshen and keep everything happy. And they've even got a menopause range coming out. But you said this is a public service announcement.

People are using these wrong. So a bath bomb, you put in the bath, right? Yeah, obviously. And it dissolves. So the gynecological cancer research charity, the chief executive of that has said, hey, hey, just be a little bit careful. She has voiced concern that these products risk masking symptoms

such as itching and other issues you might have down there. And it can also irritate as well. So she would like to tell people that you shouldn't... Just read the instructions. Put them in the bath, not... Yeah. I cannot believe that needs to be a thing that's said. This is obviously a bit of a problem for someone to come out and say that. So Vagisil never said to do that with them.

No. They just said pop them in the bath. No. But people are like, well, I've had previous Vagisil products and it is required. Does Vagisil ever, excuse my ignorance on the whole thing, but there's never any need for internal. No. No.

No. Administration. No. So you're supposed to like wash it outside like everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have had to say cleaning inside increases your risk of infections and is actually not necessary. There's a lot of good bacteria which you're getting rid of.

Please don't do it. It's like a yoghurt, like a probiotic yoghurt. There's good bacteria in there. This is why we need to talk about this stuff at school, in health class, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people are going out there in the real world and they're doing this sort of thing.

Oh, God. Thinking that it will smell delightful. Slight change of subject. Okay. I just said probiotic, like the good stuff. Have you guys heard of prebiotic? I don't know what the difference is. Neither. I just saw probiotic like the good stuff have you guys heard of prebiotic? pro I don't know what the difference is neither I just saw it advertised

I was like is this just another fad prebiotic you take that before you're pro you take some prebiotic and then probiotic you take it before you take antibiotics and then you take probiotics while you're taking antibiotics

no but sometimes you can't take probiotics can you? I don't know prebiotics are compounds in food that induce the growth or activity of beneficial microorganisms. The most common example in the gastrointestinal tract where prebiotics

can alter the composition of organisms is the gut. But what's a probiotic? That's what I thought it was. And then like, have you ever seen them at the pharmacy or the supermarket? There's ones with like a million and then there's some with like 45 million and then there's some with like 45 million and then there's some with like 75 million. What ones

do you want? I obviously want 75 million good bacterias, don't I? Or do I not? It's very confusing. So are they alive in those little capsule thingies? Again, I don't know. I feel like it. Because then there's the ones in the fridge.

Yes. That they have in the fridge and they're like, you've got to keep these in the fridge. Those little blue ones. What are those? Your coulters. No. That's a drink. That's a drink.

Yeah. It's one of the little capsules. Oh, you're just talking about capsules because your coulter's got heaps of them. But they're little, but don't be fooled. Drink too many of those. You shit yourself. So prebiotics are a special form of fiber. Think of them as the fertilizer for good bacteria,

whereas probiotics are live bacteria. Right. Yes. This whole break has been like one of those Better Living ads, like one of those pharmacy ads. It's linked so much. Stuart Jobson would have it wrapped up like this. She'd just be like, prebiotics, fertilizer for the probiotics, bacteria.

Buy your capsules today. Easy. But then she's reading a script. We're literally making this up as we go. This is true. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. As the Northern Hemisphere moves into the summer months, I saw some English people particularly enjoying what looked like a 20 degree day with shirts off

and lying on the grass. Pimms in the park. Yeah, they are, scientists are warning that if you are thinking about trying to make your own homemade sunscreen from Pinterest recipes,

really bad idea. Really bad idea. But do you know what? I get that people need an alternative because it's so expensive. Super expensive. Why wouldn't you look at doing it if you could? And we're on that natural buzz, you know what? I get that people need an alternative because it's so expensive. Super expensive. Why wouldn't you look at doing it if you could?

And we're on that natural buzz, you know? Yeah. Like, you don't know what all that stuff is in sunscreen, so I get it. So they've tested a whole lot of them. Coconut oil has a natural SPF factor of between 1 and 7. That's something your mum would have used in the 90s. In the 70s or 80s, yeah. And shea Butter.

Yeah. And Lavender Oil have SPFs of around 6. Now, this is much lower than the SPF 30 minimum recommended by skin cancer experts. Do you know if you combine Shea Butter and coconut? It doesn't add up. No. It's not 6 plus 2 plus 4. Yeah, right.

No. So they searched, they found 189 Pinterest posts. 95% presented the mixtures as effective. Right. And so they studied them and they were not. Yeah, right. And so lots of people are making these and putting themselves at risk.

They said on average each one of these recipes had been pinned 800 times but one of them was pinned 21,700 times and they're just saying it's going to be a lot of really burnt people if they do this. With moisturised skin. But this is not the first.

Very moisturised, very burnt skin. So these are actual top six other recipes or things people have tried to make off Pinterest that professionals have said, don't do that. Number six, nail polish. Now people are

just finding what's in nail polish and trying to make their own nail polish. Now there are some very harsh chemicals and dyes in nail polish that have to be exactly the right percentages. If not, you can burn, what are these things called? Cuticles. Cuticles.

And do irreversible damage to your nails. Oh, goodness. Yeah, there was one case where somebody actually, when they mixed all the chemicals together, they passed out because they breathed it in. And somebody else doing chemical burn damage to their fingers. It's not that expensive. Just go and buy some.

Oh, my God. There's like $2 now. It might not be great. And if you're making your own, you've got a large amount of one colour then, right? Yes, correct. Number five on the list of the top six recipes that you need to stop making off Pinterest.

Experts have said, do not try to make your own contact lens solution. What? People think, oh, well, if it's simple, it's saline, it's a simple mix of salt and water, but it's not. Yeah. You could be using bad water or water with chlorine in it. Or too much salt.

Yeah, too much. Well, the grainy salt people probably use. Oh, my God. Grab the grainy salt and that'll burn. That'll give you eye infections. Oh, God. And they said, while we're talking about contact lens solution, we'll also mention eye drops.

Don't make your own eye drops. I mean, I wouldn't. No. I don't make eye drops, but people do. Number four on the list of the top six recipes that you need to start making off of Pinterest, according to experts in the field, body wax strips. Oh, my.

So if you were going to wax at home and you're like, well, I'll just mix up my own wax strips. You've got to get, A, the right temperature, but also some wax heats up differently to others. I would say that's something best left to the professionals. Yeah, like sexy wax that you pour on each other doesn't heat as hot as other wax. No.

Don't just chuck a candle. Is that the same sort of wax that you can do, like a wax seal on a letter? That feels like the same sort of sexy wax. Oh, I don't know. That's quite thick. Like a candle. You sound like you're speaking from experience. No, I'm not.

I'm not. She didn't have wax seals on her wedding invites. I did. First wedding. Oh, not your second wedding? No. You didn't have a wax seal? No.

Probably because they used all the bloody words. Number three on the list of the top six things you need to stop making yourself, according to experts in the field, people making their own kitty litter. People thinking, I'll just save some money and make my own kitty litter. Well, it's a massive amount of mess. Not only could you get the absorbency wrong, but if you make it so that it's overly dusty, it can be really irritating to your cat's lungs.

They could go in there and do their little poos, do their little wheeze, do their little scrape, and the dust could get into their lungs, and then you'll have a very expensive vet bill on your hands. Number two on the list of the top six things you need to stop making at home from Pinterest recipes, hair dye. Apparently there was a hair dye recipe doing the rounds on Pinterest

that claimed to be completely natural, but the problem was it made you bald. Multiple people who used it reported either that their hair had gone completely the wrong colour or had fallen out altogether. How much is a hair dye at the supermarket? Oh, yeah, like $20. A box? $20, $30.

See, there's the other thing. I'm imagining making homemade dyes like making homemade pizzas. Yeah. It never turns out cheaper. No. By the time you've bought all the ingredients. It's the cheese that gets you. Yeah.

Oh, it's the cheese. Put so much cheese on. So, number one on today's Top 6 of things you need to stop making at home from Pinterest recipes, tampons. No. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Two words. Actually, three words. Actually, three words. Toxic shock syndrome. Toxic shock syndrome. Toxic shock syndrome. Come on.

Yeah. Yeah. What are they making it out of? Cotton wool? Pink bats. No. Oh, my God. Not pink bats.

Why am I so itchy? Warm, though. Ins am I so itchy? Warm though, insulated. So itchy. So yeah, they say the way that they're made in the factories, very hygienic, the way that they're made at home. Not always. No. Not always.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great news for Kiwi travellers to the UK. If anybody has travelled to the UK into Heathrow Airport and had to wait in those giant lines, you'll know how long you wait. And people have waited up to two to three hours. Oh, good Lord.

I haven't waited that long. That's madness. It's always about an hour or so if you've got a Kiwi passport. Yeah. Well, from now, Kiwi and Aussie travellers with an e-passport will be able to use the e-gates. They've got new e-passport gates at Heathrow. So as opposed to waiting in the line for the person at the little kiosk. But then what, are you allowed to use that on a New Zealand passport?

Yeah, they've said that's why they've announced. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, okay. Because that's the problem. You always go somewhere and you can't use it

because it's only for people from there. From that country. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's good for Anya who goes to Europe in 10 days, 10 sleeps. Another holiday, another holiday for the millennial.

Whoop, whoop, party time in the E-Gates. Is yours an E-Passport though? I just got a new one. It's a flash one. Does that mean it's the one? Oh yeah, it will in the E-Gates. Is yours an E-Passport though? I just got a new one, it's a flash one. Does that mean it's the one? Yeah, it will be,

yeah. Yeah, cool. It's got this really cool like page that's really hard. Yeah, that's just what's in a passport. Have you not had one of those before?

Have you not had one? Nah. What was your last one, a floppy page? Yeah, I think so. Oh yeah, real old one.

That's weird though, because mine's about to expire and it's got a hard page. But remember when they went through that period of doing five-year passports and then they went back to 10-year? You met at a 10-year and I got in a five, now I go back to a 10. I need to do some textual research this evening. I'll keep you posted. I'm pretty sure it's a floppy one though.

Your old one. Your old one. Well, I mean, don't do research on our account. We don't care. But it's good to know you've got a current passport because you're about to fly through

the e-gates now. Brilliant. With, I'm excited. Unless it's a long flight because, you know, sometimes you get quite puffy and the smart gate doesn't recognise you.

Oh. That's so upsetting. When it's like, go see the person at the counter. I always get that but I think it's because I blink.

I'm always like, don't blink, don't blink, and then blink and it's always like, go and see the person at the counter. I always get that. But I think it's because I blink. I'm always like, don't blink, don't blink, don't. And then I blink. And it's always like, go and see the person at the counter. Every time. Or it could be that I'm real puffy. Or did you Photoshop your passport photo? No. No, I did not.

Where did you get your passport photo? I had to get it taken at the post office down there. Because remember I sent one in and I took myself as a selfie and they were like, selfie's unacceptable. I was like, um, excuse me, it was cute AF.

Because you had a good life. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello, welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand

according to local Facebook pages. Now, do you want to start with Community Notices' favourite, Mel, or do you want to start with Community Notice's favourite, Mel, or do you want to end with Mel? Let's end. That's what I think. He's like a sweet dessert.

With Mel, the weather guy. Okay. If you've never heard a story about Mel before, he's in Rolleston and he always posts about the rainfall and the weather and he keeps everybody informed locally, but we'll talk about Mel in a bit.

Let's go first to Hillsborough in Auckland where Kat, I believe, writes, We'll talk about Mel in a bit. Let's go first to Hillsborough in Auckland, where Kat, I believe, writes, I've no idea if the person will see this post or not, but here's hoping. To the woman delivering pamphlets or flyers down Insert Street this morning, pulling down your pants and going toilet on a public footpath is...

LAUGHTER ..not considered civilised or socially acceptable behaviour. What kind of world are we living in? Feeling incredibly disturbed by this, I walk my child sometimes barefoot in the place where you just did a wee, and it's opposite to a primary school. Lots of kids walk there, but all this aside, it's just plain wrong. I'm not looking to start a debate, but what should we do, fellow neighbours? Is there a response?

No. No, I mean, there's lots of responses. I'm guessing there's no public toilet nearby and she must have just needed to go. You'd go

in a bush or something. Yeah. You would. I always feel sorry because as even guys, you just, you know, go up against a hedge and turn your back.

It's just life, isn't it? You look like you're looking for something. Yeah. What's that over there? No, that's not over there isn't it? You look like you're looking for something. What's that over there? No, that's not over there. No, you think you're discreet. We all know what's happening. You know what's happening.

Because you're always yelling out what's over there. You don't generally yell that out otherwise. Lily posts on the Otago Flatting Goods page, went on a bit of an adventure last night and woke up with this in my pocket. If you're missing a Fujitsu heat pump remote, message me.

Oh, that would be so annoying. Yeah. You can't turn it on at the heat pump, can you? Nah. You kind of need the remote. Yeah. So, if you are missing, this only just came in this week too, so if you're in Dunedin and you're missing the flat heat pump remote, Lily's who you need to get in touch

with. You can find it on the Otago flooding goods page. This one, there's a picture involved. I'll show in studio to gauge a response. But Stanley in the Southland area by selling swap. He's not happy. I thought I'd say a massive stuff you to whoever put this in my mailbox this morning. My granddaughter got up to fetch the newspaper for me

because she loves doing that. And this absolutely spooked the living crap out of you. Who you are? I don't like you at all. Look at that. What is that? Like somebody's taken a doll and burned its face and made it look evil.

It's a bird's nest? Yeah, or it's made out of fruit or something but it's dressed up like a doll. It is very scary. I've been just seeing a photo of it. I can imagine why a young child going to the letterbox would have been totally spooked out about it. I'm not going to say what page this next post is from because I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Okay.

Here's the thing, writes Julia. We had fibre installed yesterday, and I was told it would take 30 minutes. It took four hours, and they ripped up my multi-ky cooker cookbook to use under their ladder without asking to even it out. Oh, excuse me. And to top it off, one guy farted so badly that my husband had to open all the windows. Would you complain or just hope the smell goes away? How bad is that? This was posted at 9.47pm.

Is that Facebook page still a thing, that chorus installs? Yes. It is. We can put up photos of your less than aesthetically pleasing

chorus installs. Do they just have to do so many and they're just like over it? You know? Well, they literally just drill a hole in the side of your house, put a wire through. Rip out the cookbook. Gun staple it. Yeah.

And then they're like, latest. It was like when we were getting it installed at our last place and they drilled a hole in the neighbor's wall. I was like, excuse me, we're over here. He's like, are these guys going to get fiber installed at some stage? I'm like, yeah, I think so. He's like, cool. Well, we'll just leave the hole for them. I'm not going to do fibre installed at some stage? I'm like, yeah, I think so. He's like, cool. We'll just leave the whole forum.

I'm not going to do that. Oh, my God. And finally, we promised that he is a community notice's favourite. This is Mel from the Rolleston community page who lets everybody know if there's been rain and how much rain in Rolleston. We first heard from him when he was going away on holiday and he wanted someone to look after the rain reading.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he says, yeah. Well, he says rain. Well, the rain we've just had this time around the Roleston was really sweet. It was nine mils. And of course, I don't usually post unless there's a minimum of ten

mil rainfall. But two major events have happened in the life of Mel that I thought I'd post about. Event one, I completed successfully the Otago Rail Trail. Oh, we talked about that. That was, yeah. I'm so pleased for him. And just before my stated aim of achieving 75 years on the earth.

So he did that. But most importantly, I'm now a great grandfather. Oh, Mel. Congrats. Great news. Great news. Fantastic. Great grandson was born on the 13th of May.

Never thought I'd make it to having a great grandchild before I carked it. Only drawback is now I'm married to a great grandmother. Only joking, Jan. Mel and Jan. He roasted Jan in front of everybody. She'd be used to it though. She's been married to this bloody character for a little bit.

Anyway, Tracy said on Mel's post, do you know I heard Fletch, Fawn and Megan talking about you the other morning? I and they love your stories. We do. And Mel wrote those nervy buggers. Yes. Mel has had enough of our shenanigans.

Ellie Mel. Well, congratulations, Mel, on not only getting to 75, getting the Otago Rail Trail, but also being a great grandfather. And keeping everybody up to date with precipitation in the Rolison area. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to us. We're FVMZM on Facebook.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I did something last night and I'm really, really proud of myself. Okay. I used iMovie for the first time ever. You edited a movie? No, I edited a little video I made. Okay. So I initially, because I had to make this little video for Instagram,

initially I text Vaughn and I was like, hey, how do I make a... What did the text say? It was like, what's a good, free program that's easy to use to edit a video? And I said, well, your Mac laptop will have iMovie on it. That's pretty easy. Pretty basic.

Who knew? It's pretty basic. Then I was like, okay, I don't actually know. Vaughn said it was pretty basic and I was like, well, I don't actually know. Bourne said it was pretty basic. And I was like, well, I can't ask him questions now because I don't want him to think that I can't do it. I say basic, but it's really hard. It'd be really hard to just describe what you need to do. If you've never edited a video, it'd be weird.

I'd never edited a video. But then you've edited audio and timelines. I have been a professional audio technician before. But yeah, this was different because there's visuals involved. And so I like, I figured out how to drag everything in and that's where I got stuck. So I was like, do you know what? There's videos online of people like describing how to do this stuff. Beauty bloggers do it all the time.

So I was like, I'm going to. And if beauty bloggers are doing it. No, but I was like, they can hit me on my level because that's kind of what I want to do. Right, yeah. So I was like, I'm going to go to YouTube

and look up a how-to video. So I literally looked up how to edit Instagram video on iMovie. Yep. And a beauty blogger came up and I was like, this...

That's you. Did you know this beauty blogger? No. Ashley Nicole Stiles. Right. Someone mine. So she's a beauty blogger but No. Ashley Nicole Stiles. Right. Some on mine. So she's a beauty blogger, but she's also running video editing tutorials.

Yeah, she's helping her sister out. How many views has her video had on the tube? Oh, only two and a half thousand for this. One. Right. Yeah. But I mean, how many people are trying to edit Instagram movies on iMovie? So anyway, I got her through.

Everybody? That's all I've ever used before. Oh, really? So I got four minutes in, and that's when I realized this is for me. Right. Because she hit me on my label. I already dragged all my clips into the project

from my micro SD card. What it's called, I don't even know what it's called you guys. I am not tech savvy. So what I do is I drag it down into the area where you work on your project. I have no idea what any of this stuff is called. I was like cool, this is good. So it was real like basic and she talked me through it. Drag it down here. I don't know what that's called, but put it there. Yeah. Right. And I literally had to skip through like this whole video to figure out how to like edit things up.

And then it got to a point where she was like, you can put music on your video. And I was like, oh my God. Music? How have you never edited a video? I don't know. Because why would I need to? And so then I had to find out how to find music that you were allowed to put on Instagram,

like copyright-free music. Because sometimes they take it down, sometimes they let you. Yeah, upload it. So this other tutorial taught me how to find copyright music and download it, and then I had to go back to my original how-to video and learn how to put music on the track.

It was epic. But you did it. You did it. But I have finished my video. Except. Proud of you. Yep. I just need a little bit of help exporting it

and like putting it on Instagram. Yeah, because Megan's like, all right, I've done it. I cannot figure out how to get it out of here. I was like, oh, you go to share and share as file. You can't just like skip the whole project out. I was like command S, like control save. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you can, but it saves the whole how it's put together,

not it as a singular file. Yeah, okay. It was like the other day, like an 11-year-old kid from Detroit taught me how to do green screen. Yeah, that's amazing. I was like, this guy rules. It's way better because when it's kids.

They speak to you on your level. They're speaking in an easy because they're thinking about speaking to other kids or they're kids that don't speak in like technical jargon and stuff. Some people just, this is their thing. They do these how-to videos and they get millions of subscribers and likes. Yeah.

And make money out of it. YouTube can teach you anything. Yeah. So I'd like to know this morning, after my great success yesterday, what did you teach yourself to do on YouTube? What tutorial did you look for? I've got a lot of this in my future

because I inherited my granddad's old Land Rover. And I've got, I'm not mechanically minded. You're not going to do anything mechanical, are you? But that's, everybody is just like, mate, just everything on YouTube. Everything on YouTube. My friend replaced her indicator stick. What do you call it?

The thing that... The whole stick. The whole stick when you pull it, when you go... Yeah, yeah. That whole thing. The lever. Yeah.

The indicator lever. It wasn't an old car or a new one? And you pull off the side of it. You just buy a new lever. But does it have anything else apart from the indicators on the lever? Like does it have the windscreen wipers or the lights? Yeah. She replaced that from a YouTube video.

You'd have to wire it. It'd be wiring. I wouldn't trust myself. I would not trust myself. Driving down the road, it starts pelting down with rain. You try to turn the windscreen wipers on, your horn starts going, your lights go out. You're like, I'm going to die now. All right, so 0800DARLSATM, 9696, text or call now.

What have you taught yourself to do? I'm so proud of everyone. So last night I did a YouTube tutorial on how to make a little edited video to put on Instagram. Shut up. It's not even a minute long and it took me like three hours. But I bloody well did it. The first time always takes the longest.

Yeah. And then you'll be doing it super quick. And I was just determined not to ask Fletcher and Bourne for help because then I'd hear about it. You're doing it for yourself. And I wanted it to do it myself. I probably would have just edited it for you because it would have taken quicker.

You would have helped. Would have saved time. Yeah. But I wanted to do it all by myself. And I did. So I wanted to know this morning what you've taught yourself to do on YouTube. Wow. So many.

So many texts. But you're right. It is a good feeling because you look at a job and you think, well, I'm going to need a professional for that. And then you're like, well, hang on a sec. All they're doing is, you know, just replacing something. And they're trained. All they're doing is what they trained for yesterday.

But if it's a minor job, why can't you do it? And you can. Somebody said, I taught myself how to disconnect the airbag light in my car so I could pass a warrant of fitness. I don't know if that means the airbag had gone off or it was going to go off. Yeah, I don't know if that counts. Alana had gone off or it was going to go off. Yeah, I don't know if that counts. Alana, what did you teach yourself to do on YouTube?

So my husband kept beginning to ring the plumber to put a new instinctorator in, like a gurgler thing, you know, in the kitchen. Official time is gurgler. And so I just went out and bought one and I was like, shit, it can't be too hard. I'll just go on YouTube. I bloody took the old one out and installed the new one like a professional. Yes, Lucy.

I was like, yes. I love that. I know. I could have done that because remember I had to get a new encyclopedia when my last one exploded? Yeah, yeah. I had to get old James' dad to do it. No, just get Alana around.

She'll do it for you. Don't ask me. I'm your girl. I'm like, I'm like, if anyone needs. Don't ask me. I'm your girl. So I'm like, I'm like, if anyone needs a new seat cradle, I'm your girl. But Alana, it's not leaking.

How's it been since you've installed it? No leaks or anything? I will bloody tell you. My husband came home and I was like, don't make a big deal about it, but I've done that. And he like,

didn't even believe me. He went over and he like, pushed it, opened the cupboard. He had looked to make sure it wasn't leaking. He was like, did't even believe me. He went over and he, like, pushed it, opened the cupboard. He had looked to make sure it wasn't leaking. He was like, did you pay the plumber a cash? Nah, mate. Oh, I love it.

I did that myself, and you can buy me a new pair of shoes. Oh, yes. You're the hero that we need, Alana. Thanks for your call. Todd, what did you do off YouTube? I learned how to fix my old man's chainsaw. Ooh. See, that's where I draw the line,

something that could, like, come up and cut you off. Nah, nah, nah. That's good. My ooh, because that was good. That's a good thing to learn. What did you have to fix? Was it not running right or? Yeah, well, I'm not too mechanically minded,

but I was using it one time and the chain fell off and when the chain falls off, it puts like an automatic brake on. Yeah. And then I got the chain back on and I've got it started and I was like, how come the chain's not moving? So I ended up going on YouTube and I took it all apart and I had to take the automatic brake off just to put it back together and get it going again.

Oh, my God, that sounds terrifying. Did you turn the automatic brake back on? What's terrifying. Did you turn the automatic brake back on? What's that? Did you turn the automatic brake back on? Yeah, no, well, it just automatically flipped itself forward. Oh, right, okay. If the chain was to come off again, it would just do the same thing again. Take your dad's arm off.

Right. Todd, thanks for your call. Alicia, what did you teach yourself to do off YouTube? So I got a Apple Watch off Trade Me that completely didn't work for $30. I bid until I was going to win it. And it arrived, he said

that I'd probably have to replace the screen and everything. And I was like, okay. I watch a few YouTube channels and I ended up fixing it completely, not even having to replace the screen or anything. So you've got an Apple Watch for $30? Yes. What was wrong with it?

How major was it? I ended up finding out it's called, it's like the snake of death, they call it. Right. So this guy sold his watch on Trade Me thinking it was completely stuffed and the screen, it wouldn't even turn on but I watched a few two uh few YouTube um videos and stuff and it said that you have to let the watch completely die so obviously you hadn't used it for a few months which it already done and you have to leave it on overnight and sort of do all these things to reset it and yep so I now have an apple

watch for 30 dollars oh so you didn't like, pull it apart and fix anything. You just had to play the waiting game. Yeah, pretty much. And I just had to, it was, it took me all night to do. But then you had to, like, really reset it and sort of do all these things and all that. But my partner was like, was that you? No, no, sure, no, that wasn't you. Are you serious?

Did you fix it yourself? I'm like, believe it, baby. Me and father time, baby. Me and father time. Hey, thanks for your call, Alicia. Dave, what did you teach yourself off YouTube? I taught myself how to message my wife properly. Oh, Dave. And I am reaping the benefits.

I bet you are, Dave. He made an investment, ladies and gentlemen. He made an investment and it is paying dividends. You're a role model for other men out there, Dave, I think. So how long did it take to learn on YouTube? I watched a few different videos on deep tissue and pressure points and stuff. And just, yeah, I've been practicing for a while, so I perfected. Have you had any complaints?

Not from my wife. How many people are you doing it to? Oh, just the wife. So he's running a 100% successful feedback. It sounds like a good trip advisor there. Thanks, Dave. Some text messages. Somebody said, I taught myself how to drive a manual car on YouTube. I can fly small airplanes, but I can't drive a manual car. And I had to get my car fixed. And they were like, oh, we'll give you the manual because you're a pilot. And I was like, oh. But I had to learn off YouTube how to drive a manual car.

I just never, ever learned. Blows my mind. But then so many automatic cars. You could easily learn to drive without a manual. Another pilot was about to fly a new type of aircraft for the very first time. They need to know all the minor details. YouTube'd it. Worked a train.

I just hope he didn't tell that to any passengers he possibly had on board at the time. Airbus. I normally do the Boeing ones. Yes, this is going to be a little different. Same, same, different. Same, same, different. Hold on. When we were at uni, our dishwasher broke.

I YouTube'd the brand of dishwasher and how to fix it. There were, so I did it. And then at the end of fixing it, there were three parts left over, but it worked fine for the rest of the year. And we got our bond back. I have since fixed two more dishwashers. Oh, okay. That's from Zoe.

So Zoe's getting it done. I recently got a new job. Boss asked if I knew how to drive a tractor. I said, yeah. So then I sat in the tractor and watched YouTube on how to drive tractors. The specific time I was in for 10 minutes. I was like, all right, I think I know enough to get started. And that's how I learned to drive tractors.

Easy. Fake it till you make it. That's so awesome. Holy moly, as a non-mechanically minded female, one of my proudest accomplishments in life was learning how to change the rear differential in my car via YouTube

tutorials because I was adamant I was not going to pay $1,200 for someone to do it. And I learned it and I did it and it worked. Wow.

Wow. You can even learn how to butcher things on. Oh, yeah. If that's you on YouTube, my husband built a six metre long sailboat from YouTube tutorials. I mean, I'm not going

on it, but well done. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Chichingo Bingo. Well, it's our first bingo night tonight. Chichingo Bingo cash and prizes up for grabs and tonight at the Elephant Wrestler in Auckland.

If you've registered and someone from ZM has been in touch, we will see you there tonight. You can still register for Wellington May 29, Christchurch June 5, and Dunedin June 6 by texting the word BINGO to 9696. That'll fire back all the details you need to register. But, I mean, there's a lot of pressure tonight. This is our first run through. We've never done it before. Oh, we've never run a bingo night before.

We've never done it before. No. We've never done this. So we thought we would turn to somebody with many years of bingo expertise. Moana, good morning. Oh, good morning. How are you? Good.

Thank you. Now, you actually have a connection to the station. You're soundkeeper Gary's mum. That is true, yes. That is true. So you've been playing bingo for many years. What makes a good professional bingo game? Clear calling.

Okay. Bit of banter, but not too much. Don't overdo it. Don't overdo the banter, Vaughn. Are you listening to that, Vaughn? I was going to go heavy on the banter. Right. What about speed between numbers?

Because we had a bit of a play with it, and Fletch thought we needed to go faster between the numbers, but you see good clear calling us there. A little bit of breathing room between the numbers, or do you just fire them out? Well, it depends on your audience. Like, the young ones may not be as familiar as you think. Right.

And if you get the diehard bingos, they don't like going fast. You know, us older generation take it slower now. Okay. Right. Okay. Right. Okay. So a good pace.

And you, are you familiar with some of the bingo phrases? Yeah, well, I've rewritten all of them. Do you know them off by heart? Do you know all of them? Most of them. Most of them. Most of them. You know, like you have Kelly's Eye number one. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. You have Up and Down 69. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the originals. Those are the originals. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Wow. Everyone remembers that one. Yeah. Yes. For whatever reason. Because of the star sign cancer. Yes. That's right. That's why. Yes. For whatever reason. Because of the

star sign cancer. Yes, that's right. That's why. It's Pisces, isn't it? That looks like a... What about if somebody yells out bingo at the same time?

Is it the person that yells out bingo first or is it just whoever gets it after that number? Then that's a bingo and you have to share the prize. Oh, you share the prize.

You share the prize. Okay, because share the prize. You share the prize. Okay, because some of the prizes might not be able to be shareable. So we might have to have some kind of tiebreaker, but we can work that one out. What's the best tip for someone who's getting into bingo? Like, what does it take to be a good player? Good listening. The room's got to be silent.

Okay. Oh, that's going to be hard, but... Yeah. Otherwise, you could be there all night because people are too busy chatting and, you know. What's your biggest win at a bingo night? The biggest win was a super house of about $400. Good Lord!

Did Internal Affairs know about this cash prize money? That sounds like a lot for a bingo. Sliding under the table. Have you ever seen any fights at bingo? Like people break out in arguments? No, there's a bit of an etiquette here. Oh, okay, right, okay. Classy.

It's a classy event. Classy night. It is. It is. It is a classy event. Well, we'll see how we get on tonight. But great tips heading into our first bingo hosting tonight. Milwiner, thank you so much.

No worries. All right, lovely chatting. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So there is something that we all do on a regular basis and it is something that I think would really annoy Fletch, actually. In fact, I think you've spoken about this before. Walking down Queen Street, you've spoken about people doing this. Oh, walking four people wide and not letting anyone pass.

Absolutely, that should be banned. Absolutely. Not quite. When you're walking in Queen Street and people are talking and texting. A busy street. Oh, yeah, but I do that as well. I'm on my phone texting. We all do it.

Yeah. So New York are planning to, or they're talking about making it illegal to text while walking. So this, I don't know how far away this is or whether it's definitely going to happen, but they are seeking to ban pedestrians.

And this is any electronic devices in case you're on your iPad, I don't know. But the fines would range from $25 to $250. And it would be a statewide ban. How could you police that? I mean, you could police it, but everyone's going to do it. Well, there would be police. Like jaywalking, I guess. Yeah.

That's so crazy. So this, yeah, texting,. Like jaywalking, I guess. Yeah. That's so crazy. So this, yeah, it's texting, checking emails, browsing the internet, even looking for music on your phone. What about maps? You could be on a map, like navigating. That's what I do when I go to different cities. I, like, do a walking destination on your map. But I guess you're not really allowed to do that.

What about those places that put, put like a lane on the footpath for people on their phones? Well, yeah, people have done that. Yeah. That was really good. Left lane kind of if you're texting and walking. I suppose it's like if you are going to, if you have to text or if you have to check your map,

you need to like pull over to the side, indicate I'm pulling over and then stand to the side and do what you need to do and then carry on walking because it's the fact that you're not being mindful right like a slow vehicle bay on the motorway

you need an area to pull over New Yorkers have not got time for you meandering on a footpath oh no yeah they wouldn't like it

if they yeah walk into someone yeah but you could get fine 250 bucks hey buddy a walk in here a walk in here a walk in here they love walk in here. A walk in here.

I love it when you do that over there. The Hunger James. I love this. The Hunger James is a segment where James, our producer, tells us stories about being an Uber Eats driver because that's, it's so, what do people order, what time of the day. I find it so fascinating.

James would come to work and tell us these stories and we're like, we've got to have these on air. People must know. Like the guy that made him go seven floors up and deliver it to his door. Yes. Lazy. Producer James.

Well. How's it been going? Have you been clocking up some cash? I have been clocking up some cash and I've also had my first payout, which is great news. Good to see the results. How often do you get paid?

I assumed it was at the end of every shift. It was just in your bank account. So on the Friday, you finish up for the week and then you get paid by the next Tuesday. Right, okay. For that week. So did you work out the tax? Had they taken the tax out?

Tax is going to come further down the track. I'm just dealing with the money at this stage. James, James. It sounds like we're going to have a discussion in eight months and you're going to be like, guys, I owe thousands of dollars. I feel like you need to sort this out. Okay. I'll look into the tax another day, maybe.

Could you give me anxiety over the tax? But I did have my first payout and it was great, you know. It was good to see the results come through from all my trips has it been worth it? yeah yeah I think it has

okay not only for the money but I'd say the experience as well getting out on the streets yeah and seeing seeing the people who want the food

but I did over the last couple of days I've given my my first thumbs down for a recipient oh did you was it I've given my first thumbs down for a recipient. Was it a reciprocal thumbs down?

Like you went thumbs down, they went thumbs down? I don't know if they went thumbs down. I don't know how I find out if they went thumbs down. It's different than when you get an Uber. It's either an up or down, isn't it? You don't give them five stars. No, it's just straight thumbs up, thumbs down. Okay. five stars no it's just a it's just straight thumbs up thumbs down okay um so i think by this

time the shine had probably worn off the job of you know um enjoying it and i got a few more to the door of apartment jobs oh yeah okay so i decided enough was enough and i gave them the thumbs down why why this specific person what was no i was going to be some terrible story. No, I think people need to, I wouldn't say meet you halfway because I'm coming from a restaurant, but they need to at least meet you at the front door of their apartment. As someone that lives in an apartment building, there's not always car parking outside. No, there was not.

The times that I've ordered Uber Eats, I'll just go down. You can see them coming on the app. That's true. You can't expect them to find a park. Yeah, they could wind their window down, hand you the food. Yeah. That's it.

I would never ask someone to come up. This person expected me to carry their footlong subway through one door, beat me in one door, beat me into the lift, go up to the 15th floor and give them their subway. Not for a sub. I'm not doing that for a sub. Also, I'm just like, of all the things you could get and they got a footlong sub.

Sub, yeah. Come on. That would be thumbs down. Did they... Choices. Did they tip you? No. No tips.

See, if you're... It wasn't a very long ride too. So, I mean, in terms of time and effort towards money, definitely thumbs down. Straight thumbs down. Of the journey, would you say you spent as much time getting through these bloody doors as you did driving there? Yeah, exactly.

Probably. Yeah, I would have thumbs down them too. But yeah, the first time when you deliver to the journey, would you say you spent as much time getting through these bloody doors as you did driving there? Yeah, exactly. Probably. Yeah, I would have thumbs down them too. But the first time when you delivered to the door, you didn't thumbs down though, did you? No, no, I didn't because I thought, hey, this might just be a one-off thing. Yeah, right. But no, before I knew it, straight back on the job

and I'm back at an apartment door. James, I have a question. Yep. Have you used your thermal, what is it? Isolation bag. Isolation bag for an 18-inch sales pizza yet? No, not an 18-inch. I've still only done the medium size.

What's the smaller one? It's almost like a 12-inch. It'll be like two A4s together. Oh, okay. Whatever that one is. For those that are just joining in, James had to purchase a thermal insulating bag out of his own money.

But has yet to use it to its full extent. He's used it. I haven't had to stretch a thermal insulating bag out of his own money. But has yet to use it. To its full extent. He's used it. I haven't had to stretch it yet to the 18 inch. But I did actually, I probably actually need a second one. Really? Because I did go to a Mexican restaurant and I got there and I got two notifications. I picked

up two orders. I can't put two orders in one isolation bag. There'd be a mix up of orders and then you're going to get a thumbs down. I'm going to get a thumbs down. Someone got a chicken burrito when they wanted the vegetarian situation. So I'm thinking maybe after work I might head and get another isolation bag from Bed Bath & Beyond. I may need one. Have you been recognised in your travels as Hunger James?

No, no one's said anything to me yet. You know, no one's really been excited to see me. A lot of people just want their food and want to go straight back inside. Don't judge me. They don't want to stick around for a... Don't judge me.

They don't want to stick around for a little eye-to-eye, eye-contact judging. No, not at all. No, they just want their food most of the time. Okay, fantastic. But I'll be back out on the streets.

Keep us posted. I'm looking forward to the day we get to use that isolation bag to its full extent. Oh, I know. It's going to be a great day for us. I'm looking forward to testing that 18- to use that isolation bag to its full extent. Oh, I know. It's going to be a great day for us. I'm looking forward to testing that 18-inch pizza. This is in no way, any way associated with Uber Eats, this segment.

Oh, no, heck no. My God, no. No. That's why we can say bad things about the customers. Like that lazy shit. I mean, James might lose his job one day. How many calories are in a foot-long sub and you won't even walk down the stairs to get your sandwich? Come on,

let's get out there. Let's get some cardio happening. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data

with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Real talk. Real, real. Permission. Hey girls, sit down.

Permission. Real talk. For real talk. To talk real. Permission. Hey girls, sit down. Permission. Real talk. For real talk. To talk real. Permission granted. And a non-judgment snow globe. Okay. So today I'm trying out, I'm going for the first, I'm joining everybody else in this

show by getting lasered for laser hair removal. Laser beams on your body. Laser beams. Laser beams on your body. Laser beams. Laser beams. But I'm going a little bit different to every other member of the show. You're not getting your vagina done. I'm not getting my vagina done, no.

I like the bush look on my vagina. So Megan, you've had that done. Caitlin, you've had that done. Anya, armpits, blood. James hasn't yet joined the crew. I'm going to test this. You could get on board. Fletch, you've had the butt and the hole done.

Only because you, for all concern, and no regrets. No regrets. No regrets. I mean, it's still awkward when I go. But after sorting everybody else out off and on, where we get it done, they said, when are you going to get it done? Because you always get it waxed, don't you?

I've been getting my back waxed since I was like like about the same time i started going bald and growing a beard and everyone's like man you grow a good beard and i'm like yeah but it comes at a cost i made a deal with the devil uh i'm bald and the hair's gone other places i've been getting my back waxed yeah since my early 20s basically um and it doesn't hurt anymore i'm very used to it like it just happens but i'm gonna get the laser on the back i'm gonna get it tested today hurt anymore. I'm very used to it. Like it just happens. But I'm going to get the laser on the back. I'm going to get it tested today to see if I'm a viable candidate for the presidency of laser back.

Because there has to be a contrast between hair and skin. Yeah. Dark hair, light skin, right? It's the best candidate. That's the perfect candidate. So I had to put it off a couple of weeks ago because I was sick. So it's happening today. And then last night I remembered

and I was like oh no because you've got to shave the area you're going to get now when you did the butt did you use a mirror? How did you? Caitlin and I did because Caitlin cut herself We don't do it together

That's how we do it together You just mirror shaving agreement yourself. Yeah. We don't do it together. That's how they do it together. It's like you had a sort of a reciprocal shaving agreement. And you just, yeah. Yeah, well, I felt a sharp pain

and then I had to put up, well, I won't go into it, but just to check the mirror. Right, right. Did you ever forget?

No. Yeah, okay. Because you get a text, so I got a text reminder. The day before. That's something when you forget

because they have to do it for you. Oh, they would have done it for me. Yeah. I didn't know that. I was not aware. No, they don't. No, they say you've got to do it. Because they don't want to have to do it.

Well, they don't want to have to do it. They're in this time, right? They've allocated some time. So, it's like last night. And when I have a shower, I go through tomorrow, like what I've got on. Yeah. And I was like, oh, no. I haven't shaved my back for the laser back treatment.

So I'm like, shush, shush. She's like, what? I'm like, I've got a big favor to ask. I said, I know it's getting a little bit later, but would you be able to shave my back because of that laser thing tomorrow? And she was like, yeah, okay. And I was like, you sure? And she's like, yeah, yep, yep.

What do I need? And I said, I'll grab that razor and that. I'm guessing you use the same stuff as you put on your face and your head when you shave it, like the shaving gel. I wouldn't just go dry. So she's naked in the shower with you. No, no, no. I'm naked in the shower.

This is the other thing. She's closed. She's in her jammies and I'm naked. So I'm sitting like I've been a really naughty boy and I'm having to be washed. And shower water off. She's a little bit cold. And my lovely wife, who always says love you,

and she puts up with this personality, which is a bit much sometimes, so I've been told. And just general loudness and shenanigans and stupid chasing rabbits down rabbit holes, not literally, but you know what I mean. And then at like 8.45 last night, she shaves my back and she doesn't say ooh once. And I was like standing there naked with a small penis

because as I said, I was wet but also cold. And I'm being shaved by the woman that I love, the mother of my children. And that's when I realised that she just must love me. That picture is really something that you painted. I know. It's gross, right? And you didn't even see it in person.

And you're like going, but she didn't, not once. And that is the moment you knew. I was like, this reiterates, like, you've just got to love that person if you're doing that. Yeah, yeah. If she didn't, she might have been like, just get them to do it tomorrow. Or do it yourself and reach behind. Or she would have, like, bought me a stick and some tape

and said tape the razor on the stick and do it yourself. But she did it. And I was like, at the end, I was like, thank you. me a stick and some tape and said tape the razor on the stick and do yourself but she did it and I was like at the end I was like thank you that was that was so nice of you to do that because it wasn't obviously a very nice thing she was like that's okay and I was like you do love me that's pretty sweet that's pretty sweet I know and I'm like I can't be the only person that's had their partner have to do something for them that you wouldn't do to anybody else. You wouldn't do for anybody else.

And you're like, that was a moment where you're like, they do love me. Yeah. Because they've done something that I would have had to have paid someone to do for free and they didn't say yuck once. So I'd love to know this morning when something like this happened,

not your traditional, it didn't turn out with flowers. Oh, he loves me because he got me flowers. But they did something that you're like, it might be hard to talk about because it might be pretty borderline. But I'd love to know when you knew your partner really loved you. We're talking about when you knew through some weird, maybe gross act that your partner did love you. My wife shaved my back last night

because I'm getting ready for laser hair removal and one thing after you have to shave it. She didn't say ooh once? She didn't say ooh once, she just did it. She just got stuck in. I looked over my shoulder once, they shared her glasses on and they were like halfway in and she looked like she was studious and like she was just getting something done.

Where did she stop? Um, just there, just about the pant line. Okay. So still got a very hairy ass. I'm working on that. So it's going to look like you've been run over by a lawnmower. Correct. Okay.

Yes, or I'm wearing hairpants. Kerry, when did you have that moment that you knew you loved your partner? Hi, I had an abscess on the top of my bottom. Okay. So I had it removed at the hospital, and I had the nurses for a few days, but then Martin just said his name. Martin, yep.

Yeah. He had to unpack it and pack it for quite a while. And it was 11 years ago and it still comes up. Oh, wow. But you knew that if he was doing that, he must be in for the long haul. Definitely. What a good man. What a good man.

Did you do that? What if Sade needed a... Yeah, I'd get it done. I'd make a big deal out of it. I'd definitely let her know that it was quite something at the time,, I'd get it done. I'd make a big deal out of it. I'd definitely let her know that it was quite something at the time, but I'd get it done. Yeah. Kate, when did you know that you loved your partner?

What was that moment? Kate. Oh, hi. Hi. I was kind of the opposite way around. So it was my partner and we had a discussion after I actually did what I did. So he went in to have kidney stones blasted and the nurse sent him home. Apparently it's procedure that they send them home with a catheter in.

So I then two days later had to pull it out for him because he couldn't bear doing it himself. Oh my God. Yeah, right. For those who don't know, a catheter is like a pipe up the wee wee hole basically. out for him because he couldn't bear doing it himself. Oh my God. Right. Those who don't know, a catheter's a pipe up the wee wee hole basically. Yeah. So they leave it in so it's like obviously

easier to... Wow. And that video of the turtle with a straw in its nostril. What's that? It's like that video with the turtle with the straw. Oh and they're pulling it out. Oh my God. It's like that. I couldn't imagine that.. Oh, and they're pulling it out. It's like that. I couldn't imagine that. Yeah, horrible.

Thanks for your call. Matt, when was that moment that you knew you loved your partner? Was standing around at home and had a bit of a rash in my buttocks. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I had to stand next to my bed and kind of bend over while my partner put her finger with cream all over it,

pretty much right next to my gaping eye. Why didn't you put it on yourself? You can reach your, like, back hole, I assume. Back hole, butthole, I assume. Yeah, well, I was going to do it myself but I just feel I was just too uncomfortable with it

so I kind of bit the bullet and got her to do it you dragged somebody else into this awful situation but they did it and that's how you know they love you

yeah so then I married her so it kind of worked out well yes you should not marry anyone until they've had to put ointment on a weird place

yeah exactly that was the sign on the dotted line for me You should not marry anyone until they've had to put ointment on a weird place. Exactly. That was the sign on the dotted line for me when she did that. Matt, thank you so much for your call. Some other text messages. I'm 32 and have horrific old lady bunions. I'm on the waiting list for surgery.

They're nasty and oh so sore. Every night my husband says, give them here. And I put my feet up and he massages them for me. And I still get so embarrassed every time. It must be love. Aww. It must be love. Some of these are so... Don't laugh.

Some that can't even be read out. Oh, wow. But some of them that will haunt me, but also probably be my happy place for a little while. You keep swallowing like it's gross. I thought, yeah. Someone said, I'd recently become engaged And I thought I had worms

So I asked my fiance To check if I had worms Oh my He obviously can't Inspect your own Yeah Backside For worms

I didn't have worms But he still inspected it And he's never brought it up Again since And he did it In a very professional manner That is the one time You wish you had worms.

Like if you're getting someone to have a look, you might as well have them. Get one of those chocolate tablets anyway. Get one of those chocolate tablets and get it sorted.

Somebody else said that they had burns. They recently started dating somebody and they got really bad burns to the lower leg. And their partner, their relatively new boyfriend

came around and redressed and sorted the wounds out. Every two days they redid the dressings. And that was when I knew it must be love. It must be love. But then it goes to things like this. My husband bought me black pudding home from the boat show.

Must be love. And he hates black pudding and it made him gag heaps and he carried it around all the time and he brought it home for me and he's like, there's your black pudding. And I was like, it must be love. He bought me black pudding. I knew my partner really loved me.

After having a C-section, he dried my entire body because I was too sore. And he would paint, do it very gently and dry my whole body after a shower. And lots of pregnant women texting him as well, getting shaved legs and painted toenails. And getting treated very nicely. I knew my boyfriend was the one after a very, very boozy night. He cleaned my poop off the floor and wall. And I knew.

What were they doing? I don't. That's a red flag. I'm not quite sure. Maybe drinking's not for you. Yeah. It's a red flag. I'm not quite sure. Maybe drinking's not for you. Yeah. It's irritable bowel. Whenever I drink, I get a really,

one of the 52 drinks I had last night upset my irritable bowel. So it's Bailey's and milk. Yeah, yeah, that'll be what it is. And my husband, when I was heavily pregnant and I had very bad hemorrhoids, suited a suppository in my bum for me, and that's when I knew it was love. Must be love. It must be love.

Love, love. Nothing more, nothing less. Suppository up the air. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about bingo. Seeing as though tonight in Auckland we're kicking off our Chichingo bingo. What are you having a protein bar, are you, mate? Yeah, just a bit.

Pickish. We're in the middle of the show. You're looking to get swole during fact of the day. Just in bulk. Are you in the bulking phase? Just bulking during fact of the day. I'm not going to eat it during fact of the day. You're just going to take your time to unwrap it. You do that thing you do with food when other people are talking.

You take it out like a mandarin. Fletch pulls it to bits in front of you while you're talking and then as soon as we're finished on air he goes and eats all the bits like a squirrel. He puts it in a pattern on his desk. Yeah, pretty much. Alright.

Well today's fact of the day is about bingo because we've got our first Kachingo bingo in Auckland tonight. Yep. And dates for Wellington Christchurch

and Dunedin can be found although locations TVC. Yeah, you can read this by texting bingo to 9696 for a group of four to attend.

So today's fact of the day is that originally bingo was called bino. Oh, okay. It wasn't called bingo. It was called bino. It started in the mid-1500s in Italy. It was called Lo Quecco di Lotto d'Italia. And that meant the lottery of Italy. Because it was much like, the origins of this

were much like how we play lotto. Right. You would get numbers and you would sit down but it was a compulsory win. And it was the first to fill out a line of six. Six numbers. Oh right, so they kept going. Yep, they would just keep going until they wouldn't draw six numbers and you had to match those six numbers they'd just keep going until somebody won.

And you would buy the tickets. Yeah, right. And the more tickets you'd buy, like a night of bingo or house, you'd buy the tickets, and that's how people raise the money. Yeah, right. So they would buy the tickets and sit down and do it. So it became popular with Italian-Americans who migrated to America from Italy,

and they would put beans on top of the numbers rather than stamping and dabbing like they would. Oh, they didn't have dabbers. So they would call it Beano. Right. Because they would cover it with beans. Then when they yelled out, they would yell out Beano. Right.

But what happens if you bump the table, you jump up up the table and your beans move? Oh, you'd still know the numbers that have been called out. Right. You could prove it because they have to come and check. But you'd just use little beans to cover it. So one guy, apparently in 1929, it was observed a toy maker was watching a game of Beano happen. And a guy got so excited when he won, he accidentally yelled out, bingo.

And the game maker at the time was like, that's a catchier name than Beano. Bingo. Yeah. It's got a g sound in it yeah uh and he went and made a board game called bingo that was exactly the same as bino but was bingo and that is the origins of the uh the name bingo someone said it wrong a toy maker was watching and he made a toy with the name that the guy called out. Cashed in on it. And cashed in on it. Completely cashed in on it.

So today's fact of the day is Bingo was originally called Beano. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. A do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- excuse me, could you help me out? Could you just take every box that's got a duck on it? And then they walk away and the robots are like, yes, we're in. I was like, yes. That's good stuff. But sometimes those pictures aren't very clear. I'm like, is there a cyclist in that one? There's a tiny bit of tyre.

Is that part of the car? And one said road sign. But then does the stick holding the road sign count? No, that's a trick. Yeah, it does. It should count. It does? It should count. I always fail the first two on these.

Yeah, same. I'm just trying to sign the abortion petition. Oh, yes. It's in some serious news. If you get the chance to do that today. Removing abortion from the Criminal Act. Yeah. In New Zealand.

In New Zealand. Sign that today. I'll do that once I've sorted out which of those pictures is a tractor. Thank you. We've got some important safety. You'd be buggered if you didn't know what a tractor was. One, two. Because, you know, you didn't know what a tractor was. One, two... Because, you know, sometimes they call a truck

a tractor unit. Is that right? Yeah, they do. They call just the truck part... Oh, I did it! Sorry. Hey, congratulations. Thank you. You're not a robot. I'm not a robot. Boy, you're a very advanced robot. That literally took me 30 seconds to sign that petition too, by the way. Thank you, Fletch, for being an ally. Thank you.

And Bourne's doing his strictest. Now, Vaughn. I signed it already though. I'm an ally. That's not what we're talking about. You are attempting to post something now. You have a jiffy bag. I do, I found this in the office. Bubble wrap

envelope that you've got. This morning you turn up to work and you have your backpack and he's taking everything out he needs for the day out of his backpack. And out he pulls a, to me, that just looks like a rusty metal sharp thing. Axe head. Yes. Oh, it's an axe head. So the stick's broken off.

Yeah, the handle's broken off the axe. I didn't break this axe. I just found this in the shed at our house. Right. I'm still discovering new things about our house. Why? And where are you sending that? Well, I know a guy called Wayne,

and he makes handles for axes and knives. And, you know, I've got a cleaver of his and, like, two axes and knives and stuff. Hey, you showed me your fancy handles. Yeah, and he makes handles out of old skateboard decks, broken skateboards. Cowabunga, dude. Yeah, total cowabunga. It's re-use, re-juice, re-cycling, re- something else. And

whenever I just find old metal odds and ends, I send them to him and then he like gives this a sand down and a polish up and then makes a handle for it and just looks like pretty cool. So I'm sending this to him from work. But don't you already have an axe?

Yeah, or can you ever have too many axes? Just sounds like weapons you're going to give to people in a horror film. Yeah, you'll want an axe. And when you come to my house during the zombie outbreak, I'll be able to say, what kind of axe would you like? Fletch, short-handled tomahawk, long-handled axe? Up to you. I've got options because remember when you mocked me for getting them re-handled? I don't have an issue with you recycling, upcycling axe heads.

You're sending an axe head in the post without wrapping it up. You just want to put it in that bag. It's not going to break. It's a bloody axe head. Oh, my God. Megan, can you back me up here? You've got an issue with this. I'm just trying to find official word online on whether you can send axes in the post. You can definitely send an axe in the post.

This isn't my first rodeo. That doesn't mean you can because you have before. That bag does not have enough protection. It's got a thin layer of bubble wrap. Yeah, but look, it fits in there and then like it's... Yeah, but what if the courier drops it on their foot? What? I mean, do I have to worry about everybody?

Yeah. Worry about myself? Did you put that down on the desk again? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah. That needs to be wrapped better. That needs to be in a box, to be honest. Where am I going to find a box?

I just found this jiffy bag. What if I put it inside, what if I put a jiffy bag inside another jiffy bag inside another jiffy bag? No, or wrap that in some cardboard. And then put a couple of rounds of cardboard around it and then I think it'll be fine. And then you can send it. Oh no! I've written on the I wrote on the jiffy bag

with some cheap felts I found and it's just come off all over the desk. Yeah. Because I put it face down. I also told you to use a vivid not a felt. You did. You give Caitlin so much crap for all over the desk because I put it face down. I also told you to use a vivid not a. You did, you did. I felt. You did. You give Caitlin so much crap for getting by in this world

but I don't know how you have. I've just caught the right current on the ship without a captain or a rudder or a sail or an anchor and I'm just floating. Somehow I've caught a good current.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A new study has been done that's found 65% of millennials are finding it hard to make professional friendships in the workplace. Now, 3 in 10 have quit a job

to avoid a company's social scene and 48% of 18 to 24-year-olds have called in sick because of difficult office cultures. That's fair enough. That's what the study is saying. Right. So we have welcomed in millennials from the office. Good morning.

Hello. Hey, guys. Our friends. Say other millennials from the office. Because you make it sound like I'm, I know you two aren't, but you make it sound like I'm not millennial. We've welcomed in other millennials to join us in the studio. I'm on the cusp of millennial and whatever was above that.

But so I guess what we want to know is, do you guys consider us friends, millennials? This is awkward. Fletch and I go out drinking, so he's definitely my friend. We're definitely friends. Vaughn makes me want to quit my job on the daily. I ask a lot of my employees. They're not your employees.

Aren't they though? Oh my gosh. Fletch was actually the first to do the Facebook ad as a friend. I'm a great guy. And then Megan, and Vaughan's took over a year and a half. Well, I've got to keep a professional distance between myself and my employees. Again, you're not the boss. I never add anyone because I'm too scared.

I'm too scared they'll be like, boo, no. Or I'm scared of rejection. That baby boomer insecurity. Megan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. What about further down the line? Jordan, I gave you a nickname, remember?

Everyone called you Gordo or something, and I didn't know, so I said Gordo and then that stuck for a bit. So you're free, you must go out at the weekend? No, we've never hung out outside of work, but I do appreciate when everyone brings me my mail to my desk. Very friendly. Would you say that is a professional friendship? It would be.

That would be a professional friendship. It happens at work. It happens at work. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't need any more friends. What am I calling people quite hard to deal with? Right, Soundkeeper Gary, you give Vaughan honey. We're friends.

Yeah, we talk, we chat, we have our things, but also... Yeah, we do, we have things. When I first got here, I invited everybody

to my housewarming party slash surprise proposal. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, not in attendance. I was away that weekend. I was not there. I'm already sure. I don't tend to go out

at the weekends. I feel like I couldn't come. Did I give you an apology? Nothing at all. That is such a Megan thing to do. I'm pretty sure I said I RSVP'd and said I couldn't make it. Again, I'm sounding like the good guy here. Did he?

You did not flip. You did not RSVP. Megan has invited us all to her house before. See? Say that again, Harry. You invited us all to your house before? See? Say that again, Harry. You invited us all to your house before? Actually twice. I couldn't make it.

But I invited you. Have you been invited to a Bourne? I don't even want my friends at my house. That means by proxy you guys are my friends. I think speaking collectively as the office, out of Fletchford and Megan, Megan's our number one office friend. Unbelievable. And the easiest to work with. And the our number one office friend. Unbelievable.

And the easiest to work with. And the most pleasant to look at. How quickly millennials forget. Remember who dished out two bags of Maltesers each last week? This guy. This guy right here. Vaughan. But what they don't hear is when you're in here and you're like I'll give these to the plebs, then I'll be number one.

I don't call them plebs, I call them peasants.