ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 23 2018

Episode Date: May 22, 2018

Vaughan has a large Star Wars task ahead of him, a revelation on the Megan "Tarantula" saga and what do people always ask you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Sparks. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Morning. Oh, a heavy rain band passed across pretty much the entire country overnight. Kept me awake.

Oh, there's some crazy thunderstorms as well for parts of the country. Yeah. I was like, yes, I understand the cycle of life and how we need precipitation, but goodness, could you keep it down out there, rain and wind? Oh, the fire alarm's going off. Oh, is that a test? It's just stopped. Why are they testing it now?

Oh, because no one's here, so it wouldn't be. Oh, it's going off again. It's going off. We just get a red flashing light. You can't hear it. We can't hear it. Well, we've got to evacuate, don't we? We have to evacuate.

Oh, that's us for the day then. Yep. Evacuate home, guys. It's been fun. It's been real. Oh, grrr. Let's get out of here. Bourne's just learned.

Oh, grrr. No, I learned the origins of, oh, grrr. It's a Kardashian thing, not a Cardi B thing. Right. My favorite Kardashian did it. Oh, all right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, three news headlines for three interesting, unusual, quirky, weird news stories.

Vaughn and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. Nah. Okay, we'll just leave Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. Nah. Okay, we'll just leave it at that then. I'll pick then. Headline one, traffic stop answers the question, how many sheep can you fit in a Toyota Corolla? Oh my God. Headline two, arrested man says it felt right at the time.

And headline three, CSI fired for helping himself to the crime scene. CSI person fired for helping himself to the crime scene. CSI person fired for helping himself to the crime scene. Yeah. Is that drugs? Yes. Oh. I was imagining food for some reason. Like he arrived and there'd been a murder, but it was at a buffet.

And he's like, what do you guys reckon? Just have a little bit. Sweet and sour pork. I'm just testing it for hairs. Yeah. And DNA. Yeah, here's one. We have to, because the first one is how many sheep fit in the cart, right?

Yeah. So it felt good at the time. Yeah. Story number two. We go to the UK now where hotel staff called police when they smelt marijuana coming from a hotel room. Oh, no. Police turned up and that is when they found a couple of men

in the hotel room who had decided a couple of days before to go on a one night, a big one night bender. Okay. Well, marijuana is not going to big one-night bender. Okay. Well, marijuana's not going to help you on a bender. No. It just makes you sleepy. Hungry and then sleepy. So, officers searched the room and found an Aladdin's cave of drugs.

Is that what they called it? That's what they described it as. It's called an Aladdin's cave of drugs. Shouldn't it be an Ali Baba's cave of drugs? Sure. It included ecstasy, another designer drug similar to MDMA, and a psychedelic substance as well. This was after friends decided to go on a one-night bender.

They apparently found drugs on a dark net, picked up the drugs, and checked into this hotel room. Still there days later. When police walked in, they found one of the men, Johnston, his name was Johnson, James Johnson. James Johnson! Oh, my God! Producer James' name.

Same name as Producer James. Where were you? Was this you? What were you doing on the weekend? What was I doing? These guys are on like a multi-day drug binge, and one of them's got the same name as you. Really?

Yeah. Whereabouts is he? He's in the UK, so I won't say. And the producer's both. He's also been is he? He's in the UK. Oh, okay. And the producers both. He's also been in police custody. He's been arrested. Oh, okay. So it's not our James.

Okay, not me. Not our James. Poor James is working. I am. And all of a sudden, you're tainting him with this. Well, they found him wearing a woman's bra

over his shirt. Here he is. Carrying a bag of spuds. Yeah, boy. Filling up a bathtub. The potatoes were being used to fill up the bathtub. Oh, crrr. Police asked him at the time,

and he just said it felt right to fill up this bathtub. That is what I like about people on drugs. You lose your inhibition. You're like, I wonder what a bath load of potatoes feels like. Stupid idea, stupid idea, stupid idea. You're on drugs. You're like, I wonder what a bath load of potatoes feels like. Well, there stupid idea, stupid idea. You're on drugs. You're like, I wonder what a bath load of potatoes feels like. Well, there's only one way to find out.

Let's go get us a whole bag of potatoes. Yeah. Some potatoes. Whilst wearing this bra. He was found mid-filling the bath with the potatoes. That's madness. I know. Was he naked otherwise apart from the bra?

No, it doesn't say. I think he might have been wearing underwear by the sounds of this. So he was Donald Ducking, which is what Al James does as well when he sleeps, doesn't he? Yes, I know. Where's the top but no bottoms? Johnson has been sentenced to an 18-month community order with a nine-month drug rehab program. It's for the best. Oh, yeah. The judge said it was odd and bizarre.

He was apparently described as remorseful And an intelligent man who'd made a mistake Yeah He wasn't hurting anybody was he? Well I mean Not really but then the whole Creation of drug industry That can be quite riddled with victims

Dealers and Can be Competitors shot in the face with shotguns and stuff I don't want to take this down a notch into the grim territory we were all enjoying a potato bathtub moments ago

we were yeah weren't we a mystery has been solved right at Waikato Hospital a car a 1996 Honda CR-V

has been in the hospital car park for over a year. It's completely covered in dust. People have scrawled penises in the light in the dust on the car. Clean me, it says at various times. Move this vehicle. What's the story?

All these things are written on this car because it's become a bit of a talking point for the employees of the hospital. Okay. And after a year, the mystery has finally been solved. The person who left the car there, apparently an elderly person, who completely forgot they parked at the hospital. Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say they died. Did they also forget they had a car?

Well. Like, did they not need this car? Yeah. No, so this is, the story is, um, they drove to the hospital, backed into the car park. Right. Which is a good idea, like, backing into a car park. Oh, that drives me nuts when people do that. Saves time later, though, doesn't it? It stops you

reversing into other cars like I did yesterday in the doctors. You know the worst part about that? I reversed into somebody. I just started reversing out He came in But apparently I'm in the wrong Because I'm reversing Anyway

Besides the point I backed into a person That really like loves their car Like it's got a personalised plate And a sticker on it It's got a name That's the worst What was the name of the car?

I can't say Because it's the number plate as well Passionate about the vehicle. And how were they with your... Like fine, but then they wanted to talk to me about the car. Oh, wow. I'm like... How much damage were there?

How were you not looking? No, I was. I was just backing in and I got my back on, but then he just came in and just... Right. I just had my back on by then. Yeah, and that is your fault, even though it shouldn't be. It should be his fault.

I was over the... I was backing out and I hadn't turned. I was going straight out because I was beside the kerb. And so I just backed into it. Anyway, it was all good. He wasn't stressed. He was like, oh, well, these things happen and this is why we've got insurance. I'm like, yeah, yeah. But then, like, don't punish me with the chat about this car.

Oh, I love these cars. I've had this car for ages. Oh, what the guilt trip. It wasn't like a classic car. Oh, I love these cars. I've had this car for ages. Oh, what do the guilt show? It wasn't like a classic car. It was a RAV4. My intern, nine years old, RAV4. But it had a name and it had a colour and, oh, I had to get another panel.

But I've got a chap, Chinese chap, and I'm like. I've got a Chinese chap. I've got a chap, a Chinese, and I'm like, I've got a Chinese chap, repaints panels, does a colour match, very, very clever. And I'm like, are you talking about him specifically or is this still an Asian generalisation? Oh my God. A Chinese chap, paint that right up. You'd never know. And he's like, come and have a look, come and have a look. Now tell me which panel on this side of the car have I replaced? Obviously, I was like the front one because it's shiny. He's like, yeah.

So then there was that and I was like, ugh. But then the insurance was actually very good. I dealt with the insurance in less time than I dealt with the old mate that I backed into. You're a frequent flyer with them. Well, I am now. I am now. But this one's my fault.

Last time wasn't. Anyway, this car that's in the Waikato Hospital car park has been there for over a year. It's been reported and now they've found out what the story is. Some old person drove

it there, backed in, went into their appointment, came out, caught a cab or something home, somehow got home, got home and went, my car's been stolen. Forgot they drove to the hospital. Bless. So they just reported their car stolen. Insurance paid out. Yeah.

And now it turns out their car wasn't stolen at all. It was just taken to the hospital and forgotten it was there. Well, that's probably a good thing because someone that forgets they even have a car shouldn't be driving. Yeah, maybe not. Unless they got their insurance paid and bought themselves another car. Oh, yeah. That probably happened, didn't it? Did they get in trouble for insurance fraud?

No, because they didn't then take reposition of that car. And now the insurance company owns that car. So they'll just sell it. I mean, give it a wash probably and just sell it. So, I mean, yeah. I mean, they'll give it a wash probably and then sell it. Yeah. It would have, Colin, who's in charge of the property, the parking building, said if they were going to charge them for the parking,

it would be $2,737 in parking fees because it's $7.50 to park for the whole day. The whole day. Wow. And all that ended up. They said the real mystery, though, is the iPhone under the windscreen wipers. Because the person who reported the car stolen doesn't own or has never owned an iPhone.

But there's an iPhone. It looks like a five. Inside the car? No. Outside the car, under the windscreen wiper. Kind of where you'd stick a note to a pal. Did they drop it on the, did somebody drop it near the car and they thought, well, it must be theirs?

This car, and they put it there, and that's. It's been sitting there, though, and it's never been touched either. And it's undercover, so everything's dusty, but nothing's been exposed to any weather. Why didn't they tow this car ages ago? That would have annoyed me if I'd been trying to find a park. Well, there's probably somebody upstairs in a coma, and they're like, hey, hey.

Hey. Is this yours? It might be coincidence, but there's a car parked downstairs. I don't think the person in the coma drove to the hospital. They drove there and they're like, I don't feel well. I feel like I'm about to go into a coma. Can you validate my park hat? And then they go out.

And then they come up. And that's just to say, yeah, hey, hey. Hey, where'd you park? Because there's this car. Meanwhile, the person And then they go out And that's just to say Yeah Hey Hey Hey where'd you park Because there's this car Meanwhile the person Do you own an iPhone Meanwhile the person

In the coma can't answer back But he's lucid And he's like It's not my car Not my car You can tell it But they can't hear And he's like

Imagine being asked The same question Yeah All the time And not being able To answer it. Punishment. Yeah.

Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello. Good morning. Welcome to Community Notices. A segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around the country according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop first. Without further delay, pop to Lincoln Flooding Traders.

Okay. This is Lincoln, just out of Christchurch. Yep. Where one of our locations for Free Chip Friday, this Friday, just worth a mention that the Lincoln Fish Supply at 7 Gerald Street in Lincoln will be one of the hot spots for some hot chips. Yeah. That's a good plug.

So excited. Yeah, that was a good seamless segue. Thank you. hot chips. Yeah, Friday. That's a good plug. So excited. Yeah, that was a good seamless segue. Thank you. Seamless mention, boy. Well, we hear from Corey, who screencapped this from Lincoln Flatting Traders. David has put alpacas on the Lincoln Flatting Traders. Okay. It says, the time has come for the flat alpacas to find greener pasture.

The flat alpacas? I know. Seriously, it's either that or they find the freezer because the pasture cover at the flat is less than perfect. Okay. We love, they love treats. Basically anything you'd usually throw out, apples, carrots, etc. Happy to accept food donations for the alpacas

in the form of double downs from KFC just to put them in the flat fridge and we will ensure that they get put to good use. Don't worry if your flat isn't properly fenced. Just leave one chained up and the other one won't go far. Unlike the dog, they only crap in one place,

meaning you don't have to dodge the shit patches on the flat lawn. And it basically keeps the backyard cricket field in great order. $350 each. Extra 10 cents gets you a plastic chair

which turns them into a ride-on lawnmower. Classic. The picture of a sheep, which turns them into a ride-on lawnmower. Classic. The picture of a sheep with a plastic chair and a ride-on lawnmower for sales. Absolute Kiwi banter. So, I propose as a show, we purchase these two alpacas. Oh, Vaughn.

Where are we going to put them? You know I've always wanted alpacas. I know. I don't know where we're going to put them. My parents' farm would be a great start. Like, my parents are due to go on their big winter holiday. Imagine if they came home and there's two alpacas there. Christine would hit the roof.

It'd be great. Oh, yeah, it'd be great. Because I've been threatening her for a long time that she's going to get a couple of loved up llamas, or alpacas. Do they come back while we're working? Because she would never tell you off in front of New Zealand. No.

She'd say, hello, please call me when you can. That would be the text message. Call me when you can. But then they say, hello, please call me when you can. That would be the text message. Call me when you can. But then they say, oh, no, because I was going to say, well, you know, the classic difference between an alpaca and a llama, you can, a llama got banana ears. These do look like longer ears than your standard alpaca, but certainly not long enough to qualify you as a llama.

I don't want to say no at this stage. Okay, it's a 10th of years. It's a I'm interested. If it was a trade me listing, I want to say no at this stage. Okay, it's a 10th of May. I'm interested. If it was a trade me listing, I'd save it to my watch list. Okay. Next, at the Manawatu Bar Gins page, please, for God's sake, someone change that to the correct spelling of bargains. For me.

Please. Please. For free on there, catheters. And I'm not talking one catheter. I'm talking boxes of catheters. And I'm not talking one catheter. I'm talking boxes of catheters. Why? Boxes and boxes of Uno or Uno Medical

brand catheters. Now, I don't know why, but these are free. So when this person stole this medical equipment, I mean, obviously they stole it. What did they think they were stealing? Or they didn't steal it in there. Someone died that used them

and now they've got to get rid of them. Why would Grandad have that many? Because I've never had a catheter. I'd imagine it's a hell of a situation. What is it, a tube or a bag? That's what I don't know. Because surely the tube stays in. Well, they'd be left over.

Someone probably sadly died and they've got all these catheters. Well, it'll be left over. Someone probably sadly died. And they've got all these catheters. Well, it didn't need a catheter anymore. You don't have to die. Oh, I don't either. You don't buy that many catheters unless you're, you know, a catheter for life. Right, yeah, true. You're not like, alright, temporary catheter, better stock up on uno-medical catheters. Yeah.

I don't know, but if anybody's in the area of catheters, the Manowatu Bar Gins page has free catheters. Now, from male bits and pieces to female bits and pieces, the North Shore Auckland Buy and Sell and Trade page has an entrepreneur in its mists. Sally is making handmade vagina earrings. These retail for $15. Sally is making Handmade vagina earrings They sell

These retail for $15 Of course they do These are handcrafted earrings That look like lady bits She says Handcrafted for every occasion Like the real thing No two are quite alike

Get heads turning With these unusual Yet rather beautiful Heads Little mini-ertsies Heads Like multiple heads turning You know

Just like Oh goodness me. Wow. I think she started out trying to make rose earrings, but then they maybe fell out the side. So they're earrings that look like vaginas. Yeah, okay. I thought they were specific vagina earrings.

No, no, no, no. They're earrings for your ears. No, no, no. They're earrings for your ears that look like vaginas. From a distance, they look like some off dumplings, don't they? Something at Yum Cha that's gone purple. Oh, that's... You can't...

So is that what that is, love? From a distance, it looked like an off dumpling. I'm going home. Where are you going? I don't know. I haven't got my glasses on. It's poor light in here. It just looked like an off dumpling.

Maybe a dumpling's a wrong word. What's those other things you get at Yum Cha? Pork bun, is that better? No, it's not. You're gone. All right, ta-ta. I'm not wrong, though, am I? Look at them.

It's not a great depiction gone. All right, ta-ta. I'm not wrong, though, am I? Look at them. It's not a great depiction. I'll give you that. It looks more like that Venus flytrap from Little Shop of Horrors. That's not any better. No, you don't want to describe a vagina as a Venus flytrap. More of a penis flytrap. Okay. All right, moving on.

A body cleanse is up for offer on the Riverhead community page. Brenda said this is a free, unopened good health body cleanse. Now, from what I can see, this is a seven day detox. It's a two part detox system. Herb and nutrients to support detoxification.

Key herbs to support blood cleansing and support healthy liver and bowel function. So you drink this and it flushes you out. Okay. Here's the catch. It was best before 2014. Four years ago. So I've got a feeling this thing will really clear you out.

Yeah. Really clear you out. Like you'll be like, just a... And then it will indeed look like an off dumpling down there. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen camp it and send it to ours.

We're FVMZM on Facebook. Oh, man. It's not good if you have a big, thirsty car and you don't like paying for petrol. No. It's not good news. Well. It's not good news. Well, it's not good news for a bunch of reasons. Not just if you've got a car because people, small businesses, businesses, they need to transport stuff.

Yeah, exactly. Transport and everything. Fuel prices, they're saying 91 could be at $3 a litre within six months. That's like... Please turn on your microphone if you're going to exclaim. It's never been $3 before Ever has it? No it's actually Right now

A lot of places have equaled A previous high Set in 2013 I think Which makes sense Because I remember When we bought a car Because whenever I Whenever we buy a new car

Not that it happens all that often But one of my favourite things Is you run it till it's empty The first time And you fill it up And you're like but one of my favourite things is you run it until it's empty the first time and you fill it up and you're like, well, that's how much it costs to fill up.

Yeah, right. And I remember filling it up and fuel at that stage was like two, I feel like it was like $2.20 a litre. Right.

And I was like, we should have bought a press. Yeah. And I tell you what, electric cars are looking more and more affordable and appealing as petrol prices start shooting up.

Yeah, let's just all get Nissan Leafs. I mean, they look ugly, but. You'll never hear them coming. What are those? Those are the Volts? Who's got the Volt? Is that a Honda Volt? I don't know.

If I get a Prius, if I bought it, like I don't have a car, but if I was to get a Prius, I feel like people would just jump in at the lights and think I was an Uber. Uber's here. I'm not your Uber for the 20th time. And how do you drag someone off at the lights and think I was an Uber. Uber's here. I'm not your Uber for the 20th time. And how do you drag someone off at the lights on a leaf? Well, I don't know on a leaf. It's got electric.

Electric engines got a bit of torque to them. They should be able to. They should be able to drag it off and they don't weigh a lot. So somebody has compiled a list of the price of petrol. This was yesterday. Yeah. Uns of petrol. This was yesterday. Yeah. Unscientifically.

This was our company. I got the email. Did you get the email? Same. Did you do it? Nah. Nah, neither. I'm not really a team player.

No. I forgot. But everybody in the company got an email saying, because we've got employees all around the country, saying, send us a picture of your petrol station, the one you go to,, the price on the pump. You know, you pull up and it's got all the prices as you pick up the sign. On the handles, yeah.

And we'll work out where the most expensive petrol in the country is, unscientifically, according to our staff members. And it's not good news in Dunedin, I'm afraid, as they did this breakdown by petrol station. So we've got BP, Gull, Zed, Caltex and Mobil. Yep. And all of the most expensive ones apart from Gull. So BP, Zed, Caltex and Mobil have 91 unleaded at $229.9 a litre.

So that's just shy of $2.30 a litre. Just shy of $2.30 a litre. Now that's in Dunedin pretty much across the board. So if you're in Dunedin, that's a centre, a major centre in New Zealand where petrol's expensive. Timaru and Blenheim are also on that list, pretty much across the

board. for Gull, Gull's not everywhere. Gull's a service station that I'm pretty sure is only in the North Island. And slowly may be creeping down because their most expensive petrol's in Napier. Andull's not everywhere. Gull's a service station that I'm pretty sure is only in the North Island. Yeah. And slowly may be creeping down because their most expensive petrol is in Napier. And that's $2.12. So significantly cheaper. Their most expensive.

Significantly cheaper. Okay. So the least expensive, the places it's still, there's a couple of places reported that are still under $2 a litre for 91. Yeah. That's BP in New Plymouth. Okay. And G BP in New Plymouth. Okay. And Gull in Levin. So just doing the maths,

if you drove from Dunedin, got the ferry, got to New Plymouth, You'd need to take the entire tank home. Right, okay. Dig it up and put it on the high-equipped trailer and take it all the way back to Dunedin. Right. Still probably not worth it.

No, probably not. So the other cheapest, Huang Nui has a Z and a Caltex at $2.05. Yep. $2.05. And the Mobil and Levin is at $2.06. Now, Levin is a curious case of cheap gas, eh? Where they couldn't beat gulls prices,

so they ended up putting it up across the board in the area and trying to get everybody else to do the same. So I reckon a little tip I can't guarantee this will happen but it's Queen's birthday next weekend

and you know a lot of these places do discount days or they lower the prices to match competitors ahead of the long weekend because people go away for the weekend

so if you've I just kind of run it low run it low. $10. Yeah, run it low until next week because I reckon there'll be some deals. Yeah. Which might help a little bit.

We start a pop-up petrol station and we've only got like one drum of gas, but we sell it for like a dollar a litre. So they're like, we better match this new competitor on the market. And it all plummets. I don't know if that works. Also, James, the producer, loves a litre. So they're like, we better match this new competitor on the market. And it all plummets. I don't know if that works. Also, James, the producer, loves a durry.

So we can't have him smoking near our new petrol station. Oh, yeah. That's true. Well, no, he won't work that shit. He can't work on the pump. No, I've seen some people who work for petrol stations having a durry just off the forecourt. Are you all right just to do the till?

You can be the cashier. I'm more than happy to stay inside. Yeah, for sure. Just don't want you smoking on our forecourt. No, of course not. No phones on the forecourt either. Oh, no, I'm all right for mobile phones on the forecourt. That's a load of meat.

Yes, Mythbusters proved that was a load of rubbish, didn't they? So sort of a general feeling is if you're in Levin, it's still okay to fill up with gas. But if you live in the South Island, you've got the 13 most expensive petrol prices in the country. And it's only going to get worse, by the way. It's only getting worse, yeah. It's only going to get worse.

So like you say, maybe it's time to start cycling to work. Yes. Nah. Nah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six. Apparently, people are just going cold

because heating is now quite expensive in New Zealand, just with power costs and poorly insulated homes. Heat escapes at all the spots. So people are just being cold and rationing heat that's become the new norm in New Zealand. It's sad, isn't it? It is. But today's top six ways to heat your house without any additional cost.

Okay. This is me trying to help you ahead of winter, which has been mild so far, but I know at the moment we're getting a big cold snap. You say that, but snow for the South Island overnight yesterday? 100%. My friend, Grant, who lives in Dunedinin sent me a Snapchat with a little temperature filter on and it was like 4 degrees and I was like

you crazy I saw the Kedronis webcam yesterday snow snow yeah snow on the picnic table lovely snow so the top 6 ways to heat your house

number 6 move your house to being over that Hawaiian lava flow that looks hot it does now imagine your house is up above that.

Yep. Problem solved. You're not going to be cold anymore. What about the poisonous gases worn? I hear you ask people. Put a tea towel over your mouth. Warm before you die. Good call.

Better than being cold before you die. That's very true. Number five on the list of the top six ways to heat your house. Change your letterbox sign to say all the circulars, not no circulars. And then you've got something to burn. It is that weird glossy paper, though, but that burns in pretty colours. So it's hard to get going. But once it's going, very pretty.

Yeah. Very pretty. Number four on the list of the top six ways to heat your house. Use your laptop. That thing gets pretty hot, makes your legs sweat when it's sitting on your legs, right? Yeah, that's actually a good one. So just use that for your whole body. I don't know, like lie on your laptop.

Put your laptop on top of you in the cold parts. Because you want to stay warm between the throat and the genies, right? Because that's where your vital organs are. Yeah. You're not supposed to put your laptop on your genies, though, are you? No, you keep it just above the genies, right? Yeah. Because that's where your vital organs are. Yeah. But then if you're extremities. You're not supposed to put your laptop on your genies, though, are you? No, you keep it just above the genies. Right.

Keep it between here and here. That's a good plan. Yeah. And if you don't have a laptop, maybe cuddle the whole tower of the computer. I don't know how hot places get. Disable the fan. It'll probably get pretty bloody hot. Yeah.

Number three on the list, the top six ways to heat your house and heat yourself. Stop shaving. Stop waxing. Stop lasering. stop IPLing and grow some hair. That's what it's there for. Yeah, true. To provide a little extra warmth. Yeah, get the rug going for winter. Number two on the list is sleep on the windowsill like a cat.

Those a-holes are always warm. You touch a cat that's sleeping in the sun, gosh, they're toasty. They are, yeah. Even in winter. They catch a little bit of sun and they're very, very toasty warm. You touch a cat that's sleeping in the sun, gosh, they're toasty. They are, yeah. Even in winter. They catch a little bit of sun and they're very, very toasty warm. Yeah. And the number one way to heat your house in today's top six, speaking of pets, get a warm pet that you can cuddle, like ones that evolved for arctic conditions

because they're always warm to the touch, like a penguin, an elephant seal, a polar bear, or some seal, a polar bear or some krill. Just cuddle some krill. Yeah, cuddle some krill. Or a husky if you're like a wimp and can't handle a lovely pile of warm krill and a stinky pile on the lounge floor or in your bed. I mean, krill's not for everybody. No.

I personally, huge krill guy. Yep. Huge krill guy. Great source of warmth. Better than salmon? Oh, why'd you do that? Bit of a... Flesh.

Be, you know, krill. Krill. In all honesty, if I can be honest for a minute, krill makes a pretty good burley, mate. Krill burley, mate. You'll catch a humpback wow. Okay. You'll catch a humpback wow Wow. Okay. You catch a humpback. Wow.

That's today's top six. So a survey has been done, a study's been done. Auckland University have run this for like 10 years, and they started looking at kids even before they were born. And so it's ongoing. Apparently they want this study to run until these kids turn 21. Yeah, I love these studies. I love the long-term, big-number studies.

Well, you just get excited about stats, don't you? I'm a stats guy. Oh, I love hearing some stats. I don't know how to, like, analyze stats, and I was terrible at stats at school, but I just like stats, percentages and stuff. Here's one I've picked out of this study. This is what they've found.

And, you know, this is 7,000 kids. So this is a pretty good, you know that when you get a base of 7,000, that can pretty much, you know, we can say it's about New Zealanders. If they got them from a whole lot of different walks of life, 7,000 is a pretty good sample size. 40% were unplanned, these pregnancies. 40% of pregnancies, unplanned. Now, unplanned doesn't mean unloved.

Unplanned doesn't mean unwanted. It doesn't. But it just means they didn't set out to have a baby at that stage. 40%. Well, this is the good thing about being the middle child. Very rarely are we a mistake. Very rarely are we unplanned. Unless they just wanted one.

But then you've got three siblings. Yeah, but then they wanted another one afterwards. Now, she could have been a mistake. And he could have been a mistake. But there is one non-mistake in the Smith family. This guy. It's a cry for attention middle child. Yeah.

I think if you were the first or the last, if you're the oldest or the youngest, there's a very high chance you're a mistake. Especially if you're the youngest by, like, ages. Nine years. Yeah. Right. Or the oldest youngest by like... Ages. Nine years. Yeah. Right. Or the oldest by like...

Nine years. Because mum and dad just thought that wasn't happening anymore. They were like, we've got to give this a good break before we do this again. Or let's not. Oh God, we have. You could probably be put down to a power cut or a rugby world cup win. Yes.

Some bizarre coincidence. Yeah, or like a really bad storm. Yeah. Where they were like, you're trapped at home and work's called off. Seriously. I know Some bizarre coincidence. Yeah, or like a really bad storm. Yeah. Where they were like, well. Where you're trapped at home and work's

called off. Seriously. I know these things happen. You can map baby booms by events where people can't be

distracted by other stuff. Like work or TV. Or Netflix. Yeah, exactly. Megan. We're celebrating

after a few too many Steinalager classics after a Rugby World Cup victory. I'm waiting for mum to text me back because

there's four years between me and my brother and I'm the baby. So like four years is a decent victory. I'm waiting for mum to text me back because there's four years between me and my brother and I'm the baby. So like four years is a decent gap, eh? I remember mum saying that I wasn't because I think ages ago we raised this possibility that I could have been a mistake.

And she said no. So that's enough for me. Well, I mean, the intention wasn't a mistake. I mean, from there on out, everything was a folly of errors. My mum said, no mistake. We waited ages for you. Oh, what a disappointment that that's what you got after all that waiting. Warren and Ray.

I'm sorry about that. This. Yeah. It's like when you order something online and it takes ages to get there and then it gets there and it was way smaller than you thought. This is a question I want to ask this morning and right now to anybody listening. Have you ever been told that you were a mistake?

Because would parents admit that to you? I think when you're older. As a joke? As an adult, maybe. Oh, as a joke. It's a rough joke to throw at a teenager.

Have you ever been told that you were a mistake? No, I was the gift that they wanted. Because you're in the middle too. Yeah, yeah. But no, ours was very... My siblings and I were very strategically planned out.

Two years apart. Right. Exactly. Like a rigorous lovemaking schedule. No, they need sex three times. Yeah. Whitney, me, Taylor. No, three times a month.

No, Warren. First Monday, second Thursday Thursday and last weekday have the moment. Mother Jane's going to message you soon. Stop it. James? No I think I was

far the opposite. I was a miracle you could call it. Oh okay a miracle baby. A miracle baby. Miracle baby. Miracle baby.

Yeah. What is that what your mum said because your dad didn't have sex with her then all of a sudden she was pregnant? I didn't go that far into well. I just had Miracle

Baby and I just backed out from there. You just take it as your incandescent. Noted. I don't do any more. Anya? Nah, well I've been told I was playing but there's five years apart between me and my very smart sister. Yeah, five years. It's because they've been drinking because she was smart but you're...

See how easy it is to mow everyone down when you're so sure of yourself and your intended place on this earth? All right, 0800 dial ZM. We want to take some calls and you can text us 9696. Have you ever been told or have you ever asked your parents

if you were planned or not? Were you a mistake? Because according to the study, 40% of us are unplanned. And like you say, it doesn't mean that you're not unwanted or unloved. Like they've had to deal with you. But just you were a bit of a surprise.

Yeah. And maybe they do hold it over you. Maybe it is a bit of a family joke. Yeah. Well, it would be a way, I'd imagine it would have been put on some teenagers to avoid maybe if mum was a pregnant teenager and didn't want her teenager to repeat it.

She could say that so a study, it was the New Zealand Longitudinal Study, Auckland Uni did the 7,000 kids before they were born to right through to now, 10 years they want to go through to 21 is that right?

one of the things it found that we're talking about now 40% of those kids were unplanned. We want to know, have your parents ever told you that you were unplanned? Like just throw it in your face. Were you a mistake, baby? There are so many text messages of, and the way people have been told by their parents is just. Ruthless.

Yeah. Somebody said, I was a mistake last child. Apparently my parents got a freaky at their friend'sless. Yeah. Somebody said I was a mistake last child. Apparently my parents got a freaky at their friend's barbecue. Yeah. And I came along nine months later. I was told this at a barbecue and got the nickname Q.

And every time I get invited to a barbecue now, I shudder at the thought. Because you imagine your parents, like, doing it. I was the byproduct of a Pavarotti concert. Oh, good lord. I was a mistake. They said the best accident that ever happened to us, so, you know, like, a happy accident.

But after a Pavarotti concert, they were aroused. Oh, they were really... He's a bit of an aphrodisiac. I don't know any idea. It was just a bunch of noises. Milla, you were a mistake, baby. I think it became a conversation in house class at school

and so I asked and then they kind of told me that, yeah, it was a mistake. Because would you, as a parent, would you think about lying at that stage? Would you be like,

oh, no, no, you weren't. You were planned. I was at high school at the time, so it was kind of like one of those things where I think I could probably handle it. Right. So that was the exact age where you'd throw it in their face. Yeah. So what did they say?

Well, my mum was like, well, our initial contraceptive, you know, it broke. And so she was like, I went to the pharmacy the next day and took the morning after pill. And then she was like, and nine months later I had you. Miller, you are an odd defying creature. You were like, condom? No, thank you. Morning after pill?

Nothing. No, I'm coming out. I'm better than that. I'm doing this. I'm meant to be here. Wow. Amazing. Hey, Miller, thanks for your call.

Paige, it wasn't just one mistake in your family. What's the story? No, I'm one of four. And from the beginning of time, I'm pretty sure my parents have told us that they never actually wanted kids. And they ended up with four. And they didn't want any kids.

No, they didn't want any kids. And three out of four of us were a mistake. And they ended up with four. And they didn't want any kids. No, they didn't want any kids. And three out of four of us were a mistake. And the running joke in our family is the fact that the one they planned is actually the worst. Brilliant. So is that always rubbed in his face? Yeah, and she takes great pleasure in letting us know which contraception

didn't work on us. What one failed for you? What was your failed contraceptive? Oh, I'm kind of like the last girl. I'm a double up mistake. So you like defied the odds like her last caller. Everybody's defying these odds, aren't they?

Alright, hey, thanks you called Paige. Beth, you were a mistake, baby. I sure was. My mum, after baby number seven, got her tubes tied, and I still came along. Your mum's a baby-making factory. They shut it down for the day, but a baby still can't mate. Is that even possible?

Well, I guess it is, but... What's that? You could be studied. Surely your mum's... That's pretty insane that her tubes got tied, yet she still could have a baby. Crazy, eh? Did she ask for her money back for the operation?

I think... I mean, this is a 92, so I think she did get some money back, like 10 grand or something. I've heard of guys that have got vasectomies and then got their wives pregnant. Yeah, that's a bit more common, eh? Yeah, but they've had to prove that the baby's theirs

because it would be awkward. But then I've heard that they can get payouts. Wow. Yeah, but it's not. It costs $250,000 to raise a kid. You don't get that much, do you? No. You should just be able to drop the baby back at the office,

at their office, and it's theirs now. You look after this one. Yours. Thanks for your call, Beth. Thanks you call Beth. Some text messages in. When I was young I was told I was the result

of a Greece holiday special. Now I always thought that meant I had Greek heritage. Oh yeah. But no I was a mistake of unprotected sex

between my parents who booked a holiday to Greece because it was very cheap at the time from England where they were living. I thought you were meaning they just went to the stage show, the musical.

Oh, like Christmas Greece. Yeah, it was just on at the Founders and they were like, okay. And then they got all randy because of Sandy and Danny and... Jingle bells, jingle bells. Grease lightning. Well, that's the thing, John Travolta back in the day got people

excited, didn't he? Not now. Well, he still does now, but Travolta back in the day got people excited, didn't he? Oh, yes, he did. Well, he still does now, but it's strangers in male's toilets, isn't it? As the rumour goes. Well, if you want to be sued by the Church of Scientology, Vaughan. I don't want to be, no. Carry on. Somebody else said, my dad lost his licence. Drink driving.

Mum felt sorry for him. And nine months later, I'm the result of dad's lost license. Wow. Yikes. Wow, okay. That's something to take on board, isn't it? I'm sorry about that, Kevin. Come to the bedroom.

Oh, Kevin. Oh, yes. I feel better. Come on, Kevin. Silly boy, you could have killed someone. It's time I rewarded you with sex. What kind of logic is that? Mum, that's awfully poor logic.

I've got I'm excited. You might have noticed I've got a shimmer. A little pep in your step. I've got a little pep in my step today. Okay. Why? Because yesterday I was at home. I was actually playing Fortnite with James, the producer.

We're buddies. We talk more outside of work than we do. Got any rockets? Got any rockets? Yeah, I got rockets, bro. You got any small shields? Yeah, bro. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

We're playing Fortnite together. There's a knock at the door. Okay. It's a courier. A courier. A courier. A courier. Which isn't a courier.

It's a courier. Courier. No, because when I say courier, it sounds like I'm saying the country. Courier. Courier. It's courier. Oh, does it? Yeah, so if I just said courier with my Kiwi accent,

you know what I'm saying. Someone told me the other day they weren't sure what I was saying when I said courier. So that's why I said courier. Courier. Courier. Courier. You're kind of saying the U in the courier.

A courier. A courier. Okay. So a courier's at the door. Also sounds like a native bird. A courier. Courier. A courier. A courier. Okay. So a courier's at the door. Also sounds like a native bird. A courier. A courier. A courier.

What would it just be? A knock, wouldn't it? It's bird noise. Yeah. And then you go outside and it's gone. But it's left a big dump on your doorstep.

And somehow you've got to find the number of that dump and go to the depot and pick up your parcel. And you always see one when you're looking for a park and the bird's just kind of like weirdly placed on the side of the road. And you're like, you shouldn't be there, bird.

It's not a place. Anyway, we could go on with the courier analogy for a long time. And it's got two like blinkers on the back. We'll stop. We'll stop. So it's a courier and it's a package. And to celebrate the release of the Han Solo movie, it says Solo, but it's not addressed to me.

Okay. It's addressed to Indian August, which all the good stuff's coming for Indian August now. Oh, they're cooler than you. I know. Yeah, that's the problem. So I have to wait for them to get home. Right.

So after school, we get in and I'm like, there's this package for you and their eyes light up because it's a big one and they open it up and there's like Chewbacca pyjamas, which is super exciting. I saw this post last night on your instagram so there's chewback of pajamas i'm very excited about that there's like t-shirts and stuff and then there's this big brown box i'm like what's in here and they're like i don't know so we rip into it and as we open it sharday's having a lie down upstairs she's got a cold yeah she just doesn't

go for a lie she's just like i am I've had enough of you for a lie down Although there is a trend Maybe she does just get sick of me and go for a lie down So she's upstairs, we open it And I open it and I squeal When I open it Like how? Like that

Shudder, yeah, I was like, no squealing Because we're trying to get the girls not to squeal Because if they get excited they squeal But I get excited and I squeal And Shudder's like, no squealing I'm like, yeah girls, no squealing, because we're trying to get the girls not to squeal, because if they get excited, they squeal. Yeah. But I get excited, and I squeal. And Shadi's like, no squealing. I'm like, yeah, girls, no squealing. And then I bite my hand with my second squeal. It's a Lego Millennium Falcon.

It's not just any Lego Millennium Falcon. It's a 1,400-piece Lego Millennium Falcon. Now, Indy and I have been doing Lego projects together lately, but it's like this friend's Lego. It's like this little Lego. Yeah. Oh, now I've got, and this is the biggest Lego of my life. My parents, like you, we've talked about this before, Fletch,

we were Toro families, weren't we? Yeah, because a cheap New Zealand couldn't afford Lego, so they had Toro. Knock-off. Which was a New Zealand company. It was a New Zealand knock-off company. Didn't hurt as much when you stood on it, because it was softer Zealand couldn't afford Lego, so they had Taro. Knock Off, which was a New Zealand company. It was a New Zealand Knock Off company. Didn't hurt as much when you stood on it because it was softer. No, it was softer.

And you could pull it apart with your teeth without really breaking your teeth. Although you'd leave indents in the Taro. It was like biting a medal at the Olympics. You'd spit it and you'd be like, oh, it's a dent. It's fake. Yeah. It's a fake. It's not actual Lego.

So I now have this response. I've never done Lego on this scale before in my life. Okay. In my life. We had one Lego train set when we were kids. Wasn't a lot to it. Okay. So what size will it be once you create it?

Big. Like, I'm going to need a clear, I'm thinking of getting some sort of table set up for the garage. Right. And we just go full. I've never done this. I had to consult my friend's son, Arlo. He's five. He's a Lego expert. Okay. I'm like,

where do we start? Actually, hold on. I've got the message. He sent me a message. I'll see if I can find the message. Arlo did. Yeah, Arlo sent me a message. Because he lives in England with my friend Auburn. Because this is an overwhelming Here it is, here he is Hi Maud

If you need some help with your new Lego, just give me a call That's him pretending to take a phone call At the end Have you had a lot of offers of help? Because then I put a photo on the gram of this Lego, I've had like growing men being like, alright, when we're doing this,

when's the work in B? When are we getting down to it? Yeah, our boss is the same. Ross is very, Ross said, let's take it down. Because Ross and I went to the RSA for a meal at the weekend. He's like, let's take it down to the RSA. Imagine getting a table at the RSA. What a great spot to do Lego.

Cheap beers, old mates, and Lego. No, because then you'd stay there too long and get a little bit boozed. And then that's when you make your Lego mistakes. I've just got a lot of pressure because, you know, I'm still in the eyes of my children. I like to think I'm a bit of like a hero. Because they don't know too many other people's dads to know that I'm not the fastest and I'm not the strongest

and I'm not the smartest yet. Okay, enjoy that while you can. It's a lot of pressure, guys. But I'm very excited. She's a rambunctious little piggy, but parents around the world know her. Peppa Pig is...

It's... It's insane how big it is. And it's everywhere and there's merchandise for it and everything. Um, um... banned in China because the gangsters were like gangstifying Peppa Pig? Go on. I don't know. It's what I heard.

They were gangstifying Peppa Pig. Yeah, because you know how they're real tough with their censorship over there? Yeah. I don't know. They've got a problem. Probably because she was anti-establishment. At the root of it all, Peppa Pig's quite anti-establishment. She does what she wants. I think she spoke out about the dog.

She's a free-spirited little feminist. They didn't like the depiction of the dad. Is that right as well? Oh, that's another Peppa's... Or the dad's a bit of a bumbling fool, but everyone loves him. Right. Why is this in the news? Well, the 16-year-old who voices Peppa Pig has been doing it for 10 years now.

Harley Bird has been voicing Peppa Pig. Here's the stink thing. Right. There's been Peppa Pig voice actresses before Harley in the early days of Peppa Pig. Yeah. But they got to a certain age where they started sounding too old, so they axed them. Oh, right. And they got new ones.

So now, for some reason, Harley, who started when she was six, is now 16 and has managed to retain the role of Peppa Pig all these years. Because she still sounds youthful. Because she can, I don't know if she learnt to still talk. Like as she got older, she could still go back to using the character voice. Right. So she's Peppa Pig. Yep.

She's earning £1,000 an hour. $2,000. Yeah, about $2,000 to voice Peppa Pig. To be the voice of Peppa Pig. Did you just want to bring this up

so you could tell us there's a 16-year-old earning more money than all of us? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, okay. But that also doesn't include, because I mean,

obviously she's been doing it for 10 years. At some stage along the line, she's picked up a clever agent. Yep. So she earns more money when she does the voices for toys. Right. And there's a lot of Peppa Pig toys. And Peppa Pig kind of went on this weird hiatus.

And so as a parent, you were stuck watching the same sort of 50 episodes, which sounds a lot, but they're only five minutes long. Okay. So you definitely have seen the one where Mrs. Rabbit has like 10 jobs around town and someone tries to help her out and it's an absolute calamity. Oh, I've seen that one. Bingo.

How have you seen that? Well, my niece, she loves Peppa. It's insane. Like you could just bring up a Peppa Pig, any random one, like the time that Daddy Pig is the world champion for puddle jumping but someone beats his record so he goes back into training to become. Have you seen that one? No.

That's a real good one. Because Granddad Pig was using his old champion puddle jumping boots as flower pots. Of course he was. And so there's this awkward yikes, we better clean up the boots. Do they write these on drugs? They are nuts

every one of them five minutes long starts with a blam blam blam blam blam blam and then this little George is just like dinosaur

and that's all he does right okay the dad makes a series of mistakes the mum keeps it all together Peppa Pig can't whistle she hangs up on her

friend Susie Sheep because Susie Sheep can whistle on the first try and there's a 16 year old earning $2000 an000 an hour. $2,000 an hour to voice Peppa Pig.

That is ridiculous. And that doesn't include the toys and everything and the merchandise just keeps coming and all the new stuff. What has been an ongoing saga? We've tried. We've tried to help. We have tried our darndest.

We've tried to help Megan to say the word tarantula properly. Haven't we? God, I'm sick of this. We've tried a lot. Are you getting people asking you to say this? And just so many videos. Although support group from so many people that can't say it right either. Say it.

No, I don't want to. What is the name of the big hairy spider that you can't say? Do you know what? I've discovered if I look at it written down. No. How do you say it? Say it again. No.

You know. I don't want to say it. Come on. Tralantula. No. Bart. Tarantula. What did you say? Tarantula. Oh, okay. Tarantula. What did you say?

Tarantula. Oh, okay. I thought you said it wrong too. I'm trying to hyphenate it. I'm trying to break it down in syllables for you. See, my way sounds better. Tarantula. It just doesn't.

It doesn't. It just doesn't. Tarantula. Don't. Don't. Don't waste your energy. You've tried your best. I know.

You've just got to give up at some stage, you know. You've just got to let them make their own mistakes. It's the spider that doesn't exist here. So, show historian who I've given her this title, she's not a self-proclaimed show historian, Rebecca delved into the archive to prepare New Zealand

to be shocked. In 2014, at the end of 2014, we were lucky enough to go to Cambodia. Where, when we were there, we went to a cafe and played a game called Buggy Buggy Yum Yum, where we ate, and this cafe specialised in bug-based dishes, insects. I'll never forget this.

Do you remember I had that giant cockroach and it oozed out like a custard filling? I actually thought they were like, everything tasted fine, because it was all on how they were cooked and everything. Deep fried crickets. I could eat a whole bowl of those. They are delicious. Yeah, they were like and everything. Deep fried crickets. I could eat a whole bowl of those. They are delicious. Yeah, they were like the ultimate sort of savory snack. I had a deep fried tru...

Trilangela. So, in the lead up to it, when we were discussing what we were going to do when we were there, I now present to you an audio clip from 2014. This is three different times. Okay. All put into one. Listen to this. You can eat stuff. Like, you can eat spiders. Like, they fry them. Tarantulas. You can eat those.

We do this segment. Everybody's got to do it. It's called What Am I Eating? No, but you'll just give me the tarantula. Did you eat a tarantula and get really, really sick? What the hell? See what happened between then and now that you all of a sudden can't say it. You said it three times. There was a slight shh on the, but not the full you've been saying trillantula.

There was a slight trillantula. But it was pretty good. Do you? There is. Okay. You can eat stuff. You can eat stuff like you can eat like spiders like they fry them. Tarantulas.

You said it perfectly. Tarantulas. You went to tarantulas. That was perfect. Wow. Hearing yourself say it. Is it like the Laurel Yanny thing? Now that you've heard yourself say it, maybe you'll be able to say it. If I see it written down I can space my way through it. But that was just a break talking about it.

There's no way you would have had that written down. But I ate one. Is it the trauma? Wait, did you eat one? Do you remember actually, like at the cafe, how long it took me? Oh, it was very, yeah, you were shaking and crying. And I cried and I didn't want to do it. I ate a leg, but.

It tasted quite nice because they put cinnamon on it like a donut Yeah it was It was like a sweet It's just that the skeleton bit got stuck in your teeth Like it was a little bit like But why can't you say this now? What's happened? What happened?

I don't know Well I tell you what you've got Mr Toyboy on the scene Yeah and he's tried as well But you told me the way he told me to say it is wrong. Well, he was teaching you wrong, wasn't he? I just have to remember to start with... Is he gaslighting her with words?

If I start with tar, then I can get through it. Tar, you've got to... Tarantula. Chula. Tar-antula. But anyway, you could say it once more time, so I don't know if you've knocked your head or... Tarantula. Chela. Tarantula. Chula. No. Ta. Ranchula. We'll just give up. But anyway, you could say it once more time,

so I don't know if you've knocked your head or... It was the trauma. You've knocked your head like one of those sitcoms. You have had a couple of like, you have had a couple of operations that have involved quite a heavy use of anesthetic and then a progressive amount of painkillers afterwards. You know those people that come out speaking suddenly Russian? Yeah.

Except you've just forgotten how to say one very specifically unusual word. FVM, the podcast. Okay. So I want to talk about... Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Vaughan's learnt. I'm really good at that because I can do the tongue. Okay. So out to dinner last night And I knew not to say something But the person I was with did not So at the table Couple of my friends Mixed race next to me

Beautiful And has like a fro This is your friend Has a fro Is that essential to the story? Mixed race? Because I was like that's a weird thing to say. Is that essential to the story? Mixed race? Okay, right. Because I was like, that's a weird thing to say.

No, it is essential to the story. Okay. And my other friend. So, I mean, I know this, I don't know, just because, maybe because she doesn't like it. And I know from previous times that she doesn't like it. Okay. But also kind of just know instinctively that it's not the thing you do.

But my other friend leaded this with a compliment, said, your hair is amazing. Can I touch it? Oh. Oh, no, no. That's a no-no.

That's a no-no. As a bald man, someone would maybe think. Although people do, people love to rub your shiny head. They do. Oh, my God. It's the same thing.

Oh, my God, they do. It's the same thing. I would never rock up and rub your head. Do people ask? I don't think I'd ask either. Can I touch it? It's weird. It's weird.

And they touch it and they're like, and then make that noise and you're like, what are you doing? Like, you can't. I'm fine. I'm okay with you touching my head because it's something different. No, but it feels funny. But don't go.

It feels a bit snaky. Snaky? No. Okay. It's not scaly. Okay. Slightly prickly. So nothing went down.

Like, she was really good about it, but she hates it. Did she let her touch the hair? She did. Oh. But she hates it. But then that person's now not going to know that they're not doing something that people with different hair don't like. Like she should have said, here's the vibe. You don't be asking to touch people's hair because it's different.

Yeah. It's just weird to ask to touch someone's hair full stop. Yeah. And then my other friend proceeded to ask her, so where are you from? Like, what's the makeup? And also, so where are you from? Like, what's the makeup? And also another... Where are you from is... Yeah.

My wife's been asked, what are you? Which I think is a terrible way of trying to find out somebody's ethnicity. What are you? What are you? Human. Female, human? Yeah. I don't know.

Should we really be asking that either? I don't think that that's very... Sometimes I want to make the inquiry, but it's just because you'll know that I'm fascinated with different... No, but that's the problem, is being like, oh my God, you're different. I'll cut the bullshit. I want to know where hot people are from.

But isn't that the problem? You're alienating them by saying you're different to me. I don't get it, tell me No, because I'm coming from a You think it's a compliment Hot place No, I get it No, see, leading with a compliment

Your hair's amazing, can I touch it Is still saying, you're so different That's not It's not okay Asking to touch people's weird me person asking anything is like a pregnant woman being like, can I touch this? So what would she, how would she

rather people ask that or just not ask at all? You can't. The hair thing, don't ask. No, not that. But what about the asking their nationality, their ethnicity? She just doesn't like it. Just doesn't like it brought up at all? No. Okay. She's like, oh, well is it because I look different to you because I'm actually

a New Zealander, but okay. That's a good point. New Zealanders, but I guess you could maybe say, where are your parents, like where are your family? It's the same thing though, isn't it? You're asking the same question. Yeah. Whereas their family could also be

from New Zealand. I don't like to be asked because it's just such a boring answer. Oh, England. Irish. My parents are from England or the UK. Yeah, they came here a long time ago, so that's why I'm just... Right. But you're fascinated because you're the just hot.

You wonder, yeah, I guess. Well, no, you're wondering what kind of mix is it. Mixed, yeah. What's your makeup? It, you're wondering what kind of mix is it. Mixed, yeah. What's your makeup? It's like wanting to know what's in a cocktail. And how drunk is it going to get you? Yeah, I'm very careful because I've seen people ask, you know, my wife, and she doesn't mind.

Yeah. But it blows people's mind when they learn she's half Chinese. Because she's Cliff Curtis She could be from anywhere She could be Middle Eastern She could be Latino Well she is getting confused with Meghan Markle at the weekend At the moment yeah

She's getting a lot of the Meghan Markle thing So people maybe think Now the latest is people might think she's African American Right Well my friend doesn't like that question Especially not the hair one So I would like to know what question you always get asked,

asked? Asked? That annoys you. Okay. What do you always get asked and you're like, please don't ask me that? What is your question?

Well, maybe you don't say that, please don't ask. Maybe you just put up with it. You want to say that. Yeah. And maybe now we can use this as a bit of a public service announcement so we can learn the etiquette.

Don't ask to touch me. It's not a problem now because I'm in my 30s, but in my 20s when I was bald, people were like, why are you bald? Straight up like, why are you, how old are you? And I'd say, oh, 25. Why are you bald? I'm like, I don't bloody know. I can't,

I didn't choose this. Yeah, but I used to get it all the time. And it's like, I didn't really care. It is quite rude though, eh? If it's for someone who's worried about it, it is a hell of a thing. Why are you bald? Yeah. I don't know.

Why are you asking me this? All right, 0800DARLS.NM9696. You can text. What do people ask you that annoys you? All right. Asking you now the question, what do you always get sick of people asking you? So, my friend got asked if someone could

touch their hair last night because she's got a furrow. And always gets asked like... Always, can I touch your hair? Where are you from? What's your makeup? I'm a Kiwi. I'm a Kiwi. And it's, there's a range of things that people with uh... How would you say it? I don't mean I'm a Kiwi. And there's a range of things that people with...

How would you say it? I don't mean this to be offensive, but a glaring physical difference to you, perhaps. Right. Tall people. Yes, tall people. Hearing from so many tall people. Tall girls specifically.

You should play basketball. How bloody tall are you? Do you? What do you do with it? Do you play basketball? Make use of it? What do you do with it? Do you play basketball? Make use of it? What do you do with it? Literally a tall person said they get asked, do they make use of it?

Oh, my God. Yeah. Do you need anything off this high shelf? Pick it up off the floor, short ass. All right. Nina, what do you always get asked that annoys you? So it's about my last name, but also, I look, I'm a bit of a Cliff Curtis as well. Okay.

My dad's Egyptian Armenian and my mum's Welsh. Wow. And when they got married, my mum had never seen my last name written down. Right. So she sounded it out phonetically.

And people always, I'm born in New Right. So what is your last name, out of interest? Right. Right. Okay. How do you feel, though, when people ask you, like, you know, what is your max? Is it how they ask? Is that a lot of it? Yeah, it's kind of like, oh, I'm not different. Same as what Megan's friend feels like. Like, I'm just, you know, I'm just a Kiwi girl.

But it's always like I've got to go into this huge explanation about my heritage and, yeah. So if somebody said to you, yeah, I'm just trying to think of a way that somebody could ask, if it's just the being asked or if it's the way people structure it. Because I'm nosy. Or because it's spelt a bit funny or they think it's funny looking. So do you think people should just not ask?

What a fascinating surname. What's the origins of that? Where does that come from? Is that a better way of asking or is it just being asked? That's a much better way of asking. Because I always try to ask in a flattering manner. So it's like... No, you can't disguise it as a compliment.

But I'm purely interested. I'm just nosy and interested. I'm not trying to be rude. Nina, thanks for your call. Bridget, what do you always get asked that really annoys you I'm a delivery person as well and so they always ask oh do you play netball

and I'm like don't really have time for that and then they go on and say basketball and volleyball, and I'm like, no, none of those stories. Anyway, I've got to go. I've got all this other stuff to do. We sit here and talk about tall people stuff all day.

Do you get that every day? Yeah, every day. And it's from different people as well. And I just smile and wave and run, then run away. Cool, bro. Okay. Okay. All right.

Hey, thanks. You're cool. Taryn, what do you always get asked that annoys you? Hey, guys. Well, I'm a gay woman. I have a wife and a child who's awesome. And I get asked,

and this is completely serious. You have, like, these people have real dead blank sort of expressions on their face and ass. They go, oh, cool. So did you use a surrogate? And I'm sitting there thinking, well, we've got two wombs, why would we need a third?

Yeah, we've got two ovens. Right? Or the other one is, did you adopt him? And the best one is, are you the nanny? What do you do? Do you correct people though or do you just let it go? Apparently my expression the first time that happened was pretty feral. I didn't realise.

I was just like, come on, guys. Come on. But, you know, I mean, I'm usually so great about that stuff. I know that if it comes from a good place, you want to try and help educate people. But, you know, a better way of asking is, so how did you come about, you know, having a child maybe? Because, you know, most gay couples are pretty happy to talk about it, but maybe not the specifics, but just to at least say,

oh, we used a donor or, you know. That's what I think. It's a lot of the intention of someone if it's a genuine, curious inquiry versus someone who you can feel is leading somewhere with it. Absolutely. But the third one is just gold.

You know, I mean, what do you want? Yeah. Please put a price on one, seriously. Brilliant. Hey, thanks for your call, Taryn. Some text messages. Some other text messages. I'm hearing from a lot of tall people

who completely agree. Somebody said, this doesn't happen to me in Auckland, but if I go to any other region of New Zealand, I'm Asian. I'm third generation New Zealander. I always get asked, so where are you from? And I say Auckland.

And they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Where are you from? So offensive. Oh, yeah. No, totally. Because that's implying that because you look a certain way, you can't be a New Zealander. Yeah. I get why that's offensive.

Yeah, right. Yeah. But if I was more along the lines of what's your Asian heritage? Right. Like whereabouts? Because I pride myself

on being able to pick people's Asian origins. Here we go. Here we go. No, it's a gift. Okay. You're waiting for the game show, aren't you?

Yes. Yes. I've put it forward for a Pacific Island one called Specifically Pacific. Right. When you have a panel and you get to,

is this, nah, now that I'm saying it out loud, it does sound a bit racist. It'll probably do pretty well on TV one. Glad you stopped yourself. Probably would. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That's not the salmon. Cheryl, that's not the salmon. I can imagine that. Go down a real treat in rural New Zealand, wouldn't it? I'm originally from India. I speak English. People say, how is your English so good? What?

All the time. You are kidding me. Yeah. Somebody said, because it's the language we speak at our house. Somebody said, I'm constantly asked, and it does blow people's minds I'm white My daughters are brown

Because of their father's Right Heritage I'm always asked Are these yours? Not Not Not

Like are these your children? Are these yours? Because you're white How could this possibly have happened? Yeah Wow Somebody said I'm American And the first thing

This is a recent development But the first thing I get asked Lately In my political views Did you run away from Trump? Yeah My political views First thing

Oh you're American What's your views on Trump? It's like I'm just sick of talking about it It's time for Oh is it? Hold on Do you need a... What's wrong?

We were just talking about something. He was just talking to Ross about Lego. Please concentrate on the task at hand, Vorn. I'm doing the show. Yeah, no, that's all good. I'm good now. It's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Just before you get underway, Vaughan, can I take this time to make an announcement? Please do, make an announcement. I've been waiting a long time to do this. What, since about 15 minutes ago when you were handed the piece of paper confirming these details? We are bringing back for 2018 the Fleeche for Nomegian Fact of the Day Pub Quiz Tour.

Now, we're just going to do these randomly. There's not going to be a grand final as we did last year. No, that cost a fortune. Well, no. It was just, I guess it cost a fortune to get all the teams up.

And it was just a bit of a planning nightmare. So instead of having, we're just going to do a big prize, a cash prize at each event. So $1,000 for our first one, which will be at the Empire in Auckland Central next Thursday, the 31st of May. Now it'll open, we'll get teams kind of sorted from 5.30. So after work, quiz will start at 6. And if you want to register your team, you can go to ZM online. How many people on the team, Producer Caitlin? Any amount?

It's up to you, but preferably like over five. Preferably or preferably? Preferably. Preferably. You don't say preferably. Preferably. I say preferably. No, it's preferably.

Okay. Thank you, Fletch. We really like you. Preferably. Preferably. I say preferably. No, it's preferably. Okay. Thank you, Fletch. We really like you. Preferably. Preferably. Five and six. Five or six people. All right.

So $1,000 for the winning team. I mean, the more people you have in your team, the more you've got to split between people. That's true. Five's nice and easy. That's $200 each. Yeah. But you get into six starting into those. Yeah, and there's bar tabs up for grabs.

And if you've got lots of people, then... Yeah. All right. Register, send them online, and we'll announce them as we get more planned, et cetera. Anyway, carry on. So today's fact of the day is as you add more data to a USB stick, it actually gets lighter. Get out of here.

Like, as in weight? Like, yeah. Frack, micro, tiny, tiny, tiny amounts. Okay. So it uses flash memory, which means it's all stored on there as ones and zeros. You know, like, binary. You know, ones and zeros. I mean, I see graphics when a spy's hacking into something on the news, they use those

graphics. And I know that Flight of the Conchords song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One, zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero. So, and that's stored on the news. And I know that Flight of the Conchords song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One, zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero. So, and that's stored on transistors. So everything's a zero by default. Yeah. Right.

That means there's like, it's blank. Okay. And then to change it to a binary one, you remove the charge. Right. I don't know what any of this means. I don't know what any of this means either. Disclaimer. Disclaimer.

Disclaimer. Disclaimer. Okay. You remove the charge. Okay. So to change it back to a zero, you add an electron, 9-1 grams. So next to indetectable amounts. Okay. Nothing. But enough that when that was full,

it does mean that there is a weight difference and it is lighter when it's got more data on it. How's that? Megan, do you understand? No. Okay. Because you had that no vacancy sign up. What's more, a zero or a one? A zero.

In value or weight? I don't know. Weight, zero. Weight. Because don't think of it as like a numerical value, like one's worth more than zero. It's just binary. It's just a different, it's like a code.

Megan's out. This one was dumb. What? This one was dumb. I want another one. No, but it's just one of those ones that you don't really need to understand too much. Yeah, I get that. To just, next time you're waiting at a friend's place for them to put a non-illegally downloaded movie on a USB stick for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can be like, hey, interesting fact, that's going to be lighter when it's full than it was when it was empty. And they'll be like, what? You'll be like, ah, Google it later on your own time. I haven't got time. They'll be like, no, you've got heaps of time because it's still going on there. You're like, damn it. Okay.

Zeros weigh more than ones because of an added electron. So when it changes to a one, electrons disappear. Oh, it's finished. See you later. You didn't safely eject it. It might have corrupted the file. Bye. And then you run away, giving them that half-assed answer

that then they can Google and find out the full answer for. So today's fact of the day is kind of counterintuitively. The more data you add to a USB stick, the lighter it gets. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's hot chips for everybody. Asterix. Asterix. What sucks last?

We've got locations Around the country That we're giving out Hot chips This Friday We're going to start This at 11 There's been an executive Decision to start

This at 11 Because not everybody Has a 12 o'clock Lunch break And we're going to Go through to 1 So that's a 2 hour window While stocks last

While stocks last We're going to do our Damn best to have chips Provided throughout That 2 hours though Thanks to Mr. Chips Yeah who've come on Give us some Mr. Chips Chips, who've come on board with it.

Give us some Mr. Chips, Chips, Mr. So many chips. Yeah, all the chips. So many chips. I mean, their name indicates that they know chips. Yeah. Are they ready to elevate to Sir Chips? Probably not, because they've got a brand name.

It's not a title. Dr. Chips. Dr. Chips. Yep. Lord Chips. Yep. King Chips. Brilliant.

King of Chips. Mr. Chips are giving us the chips. And we've got six confirmed locations working on some more. And you can find out all the details. We've started a little event on Facebook. Okay. You just search Chips. Free Chip Friday?

Yep, Free Chip Friday. Don't just search Chips. Just search Chips. See what comes up. In all seriousness, do we have rules? Like, what if you get a puddle? I just searched Chips and it came up. That might be because I we have rules? Like, what if you get a pottle and you go down the road? I just searched chips and it came up.

That might be because I've clicked attending. Oh, you may be. Fletch from the Megan's free chip Friday. If you go in and get a pottle, can you eat it, go down the road,

come back and get another pottle? Put on a moustache. Yes, a fake moustache. You've got to wear a costume. Excuse me. All this talk about costumes, I felt a little dusted. If you go away and come back in a costume, I will do my best to...

I'll pass it on to the people who do a lot. Even just a moustache on a stick. That's acceptable. Anything. What about your finger as a moustache? No, that's lazy. No, you draw a moustache with biro on your finger. It's got to be a good moustache, though.

Okay, that'll be allowed. You can text CHIPS to 9696. That'll fire you back a text with all the locations, otherwise ZM Online. And yeah, hopefully tomorrow we can announce some more locations for Free Chip Friday. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

For more, check out ZM Online.