ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 24 2019

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Prime Minister - Jacinda Adern is on the phone, your Previa memories and what did you get fixed before your partner found out?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, he made it in the nick of time. Anybody else, that's the second time this week that my alarm's not gone off. Or it's gone off, but it said I'd snoozed it. And I had not snoozed it. How can you be sure you didn't snooze it? I didn't snooze it six times in my sleep, because I woke up an hour after my alarm was supposed to start going off. And then

I was like, I'm going to leave it snoozing. And then when the alarm went off the next time, when I was driving to work, completely silent, even though the volume was on. See, that's what I reckon happened to me last week. Maybe there's a bug. Do you think there's a bug? Is there a patch needed. Do you think there's a bug? Is there a patch needed?

Have you updated? I've updated. I've updated. I'm on the latest. Sorry, updated. And Ternania, has this happened to you? This happened to me this morning. I woke up, which I never do before my alarm. And I was like, hi, I wonder what the time is.

And then it was 20 to 5 and the alarm was going off, but there was no sound. Good lord, you must have like flown in here. I did, I really did guys. I don't know how many speeding tickets I will have accrued. I'm going to shower this morning and I feel grubby. So I shower before work. Shower at night.

I shower at night. I shower at night as well. That's too much showering. You're losing essential oils. Sometimes I shower during the day. That's madness. And then I'll have a bath of shower at night as well. That's too much showering. You're losing essential oils. Sometimes I shower during the day. That's madness. And then I'll have a bath of hydrogen peroxide. Right.

Some say I don't like germs. Well, do we need to have a talk to Apple? Is this a bug that nobody knows about? I'll get Tim Cook on the phone. Tim, what up? Yeah, I don't know. This is what I'm going to do today. I'm going to Google to see if anybody else is experiencing this problem worldwide.

I mean, I could ask on the radio right now if anybody else is experiencing this problem in New Zealand. Well, I get here on time every day. I'm just saying. Yeah, we both got here on time, didn't we? But this happened to you once. Yeah, but I could have just been asleep. Because last night I was like, the Batman clock. I was like, thanks, Batman, but I think my phone's all sorted.

The Batman clock I borrowed off the girls for the alarm. And I decommissioned the alarm on the Batman clock. Yep. I shan't be doing that next week. It's Batman all the way, baby. Batman is a backup. Batman, backup Batman. But he's a very loud alarm.

Like, he's a wake-up-shutter-every-morning alarm. What does the Batman alarm sound like? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. What were you expecting? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Totally was. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines for interesting, odd, quirky news stories. Headlines from around the world.

Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, soup too hot for some. Headline two, cash for school credits. And headline three, fugitive will surrender on one condition.

Oh, we've got a fugitive making demands. We don't negotiate with terrorists. No. We'll surrender on one condition.

Yes. I want that one. I want that one. Do you want that one? I want that one. You want that one? One? Yeah.

All right, well, Connecticut police have said that a fugitive has agreed to surrender. The police say the 29-year-old, Jose Sims, who is believed to be somewhere in New York, has seven arrest warrants and is being sought as a fugitive because he failed to show up for court. Now, he has contacted police. One of the lieutenants, he's contacted police and said...

I couldn't even hear that sound. If you could just hear someone talk in the background, you're not going crazy. It was just the news story. Fletcher's reading the video, was playing the audio. He has contacted one of the lieutenants hunting him down, and he said, I will hand myself in if the social media post containing my wanted poster gets 15,000 likes. Oh, my God. I thought he was going to say

gets taken down. But then this is the modern equivalent of, you know, in your cowboy movies where you see the bounty poster, the wanted poster, and the money that they're paying for them, dead or alive, a good amount, and they were like, well that's great because this shows I'm a big deal. Yeah. This is the modern equivalent.

It really is. So he initially wanted 20,000 likes, but the lieutenant said, come on, mate, that's a bit of a stretch. Our social media numbers aren't that great. So they negotiated to 15. The lieutenant was happy for 10, but settled for 15. What the hell? This is crazy.

On just a couple of nights ago, the post had eclipsed 15,000 likes. Wow. Actually, I've got a link here, but I don't... Has he handed himself in? It's embedded. 23,000 likes. How many did he initially say?

15. 15. 100. Oh, he's got to hand himself in then? He's got to hand himself in, yeah. That's part of the deal we made there, champ. Yeah. Bucko, buddy, champ.

But then what does he get out of all those likes? Nothing. The City of Torrington Police have updated the initial post with now 23,000 likes, saying we are getting a lot of inquiries as to if Mr. Sims has turned himself in. As of yet, he has not. Oh. We'll update this post when he does turn himself in. What, has he moved the goalpost? He wants

$100,000 now. Maybe he's going for $100,000, yeah. They do say thank you to everyone who liked the post and messaged us with info. It's very appreciated. Lieutenant Johnston. Right. I mean, if he's a man, I mean, he's a criminal. I don't know if he's a man. You can't trust criminals these days. Who can you trust?

That is disturbing. Just a quick update on the alarm. Yeah. Four people have text messaged in saying it's happening to them as well. Somebody thinks

I'm using the bedtime thing within the alarm app. Yeah, I use bedtime as well. But somebody said apparently now in the update there's a whether or not you can have a snooze toggle

in the alarm but that's not a problem for me because I'm not using an alarm. Now here's a situation that Anya and I have both noticed. There are similarities between this morning's situation where our alarms went off, made absolutely no sound, and snoozed themselves.

We both had songs paused on our phones through the Spotify app. And those songs had been playing on Bluetooth speakers. Yes. Mine had been controlled via an Amazon Alexa thing,. Mine had been, well, mine had been controlled via a Amazon Alexa. Yeah.

Alexa thing, and that had been feeding through a sound system, and Anya had been listening on Bluetooth headphones. That's the kind of buggy thing that would do that. Yes. Because the sound would... And then, oh, I've just replied saying the alarm thing's been happening to me too. I said, did you have a pause song on Spotify? And they said, oh my God, yes, I do.

I hope that's the reason this can be avoided. Okay. Have we just solved a global problem? Have we just solved a global problem? Tim.Cook at Apple.com or how do I get in touch? How many people would just try his email just to see if it got through? Cookie Wookiee Doodah.

That would be his password. At Apple.com. Try it. Oh, somebody else said, I don't have Spotify, but I didn't have a song paused in Apple Music. Yeah, that's definitely got to be it. It must be, yeah. Because the phone would think the sound is routing through the speakers, but they're turned off. And so the no noise would happen.

But it's really weird because I, no, maybe I didn't get a notification of a message last night. Hmm. So maybe it is sneaking the sound away. Well, be careful. A lot of people sleeping in at the moment. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There has been a surprise baby born in Melbourne.

The mother was at McDonald's when she actually gave birth. I feel like this is the second McDonald's baby this year. Do you remember that picture of that, the police, the video of the police in a McDonald's helping a woman who went into labour in McDonald's this year? Right. That was in America, though, I think. And remember, I laughed because somebody put up that little yellow flick- flick out sign you got to put up when you mop the floor. Like slippery floor.

I was like, I appreciate that someone took the time to put that up. So it was during the lunch rush and they had gone into the, so I don't know, they must have, she must have been in Labour and must have been like, okay, two, this is happening. Yep. So they went into the car park and he, it says, the staffers said that he came in during the lunch rush and was like, can I have a quarter pounder? And my wife's just delivering our baby in the car park and she's requested a quarter pounder upon the baby's arrival. That's my absolute go-to, the quarter pounder. I can see why.

Just get two cheeseburgers. Nah, but it's just something about the quarter pounder. I can see why. Just get two cheeseburgers. Nah, but it's just something about the quarter pounder. It's just yum. More meat. We don't know the gender of the baby and we don't know the name, so yeah. I don't think it's going to be called like quarter pounder. Gherkin or anything. Just in the car park.

Gave birth. During the lunch rush too, so there would have been like lots of people around. Yeah. Hey, your order's not ready. Can you just pull up next to the woman giving birth? April 4th, 2019 in a McDonald's restaurant in California, US police have reported that a woman gave birth.

And also in... What date's this one? August the 24th, 2018, a woman gave birth in a British McDonald's. Well, I can see that you birth in a British McDonald's. I can see that you're in... I mean, they're everywhere, right? Yeah. You get your pregnancy cravings.

Good Lord, I just wouldn't want to be around lots of people, you know? Yeah, but you don't... I guess she didn't know. She didn't have a choice. I'd just be like, between contractions, waddle myself somewhere else, into the bush out the back so no one can see. All the women who have had contractions are like, yeah, good one, woman who hasn't had contractions, waddle myself somewhere else into the bush out the back so no one can see. All the women who have had contractions are like, yeah, good one, woman who hasn't had contractions.

I said between contractions. Yeah, and they're like, ah, she said between contractions. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. So there's been a little bit of chat lately about getting my back hair lasered. And then so I had to have Sade shave it. And then went for a test patch and they're like, oh, yep, cool, we've had a cancellation.

Do you want to come back tomorrow and get the whole lot done? And I said, that sounds great. And they said, do you want your ass done while you're here? And I said, really? And they said, yes, you might as well. So I said, okay. So I went home and I shaved my butt. That brings you right up to speed.

And you cut your gooch. Yeah, I nicked the gooch. Is that healing? I believe so, yeah. That's good. Yeah. So yesterday I went and got the actual full-blown laser situation done. Now I can't expose myself to, I can't do any exercise today.

Like any strenuous cardio. Because you're not allowed to heat up the area. No, no. Because there's heat in there killing the hair. Yeah. Cauterizing it away from its feeding source. I never really thought about that, but having a hairy back,

that would technically be burning calories. Oh, really? Because your hair, the hair's... But then I'm also not growing hair on my head, so that's reduced calories. Right. So maybe it was an evening out. If I get fat now, you know why.

I'm not burning enough calories. So I put on it was an evening out. If I get fat now, you know why. I'm not burning enough calories. So I put on the paper g-string. Yeah. But before that, you didn't tell me about the wipe. Do you know what I find so funny about all of this? Is you two are like, oh my god, like paper g-strings and

wipes. Like this is girls 101. This is what we go through. I had paper g-string time. I had no idea. I had no idea. No, there's a wipe. It's like a Vagisil wipe. But you can use it on your anus, I guess, as it also works back there.

And that was my main concern. Because I was going after work, so it was lunchtime. They got you covered. There could have been a lot of farties during that time. So on the way there, I was like, oh, my God, I've got to find a public toilet and make sure I'm all good. And I was all good. And then I get there and there's a wipe to make sure.

So did you actually go to a public toilet on the way? Yeah, yeah, just for a wipe. One of those, like, gross ones where you shut the door and it locks you in. No, it was McDonald's. Right, okay. I walk in like, yeah, no, I've just got a cheeseburger

on the way, I'm just going to use your bathroom. I've got a real air about me when I use other places, toilets that I shouldn't be using. So, and it had just been

cleaned by Jan. Oh, right. She'd written it on the whiteboard. So I cleaned myself up and then I got there and she said, oh, there's a wipe there and I was like, I did wonder, I stopped myself. Then I got there and she said, oh, there's a white there.

And I was like, oh, I did wonder. I stopped at a bathroom on the way. And she was like, oh, that's quite courteous. And I was like, I'm very well. This is the first time. This is honestly the first time anyone's had a real. I mean, the doctor checked my butt. Yeah.

Remember? A real ferret around in there. But I don't think he really had a good look. Yeah, right. Okay. Just was like a blind person. Mostly did it by feel. He didn't make like an audible gasp or any kind of noise? Yeah. No, right. Okay. Was like a blind person. Mostly did it by feel. He didn't make an audible gasp or any kind of noise?

The doctor. Yeah. No, he was as professional as you'd expect a doctor to be. Right. And so I was like, this is the first person that's really having to look at it. What about when you're at Polytech? What? No one's ever... Oh, God, no. I couldn't get anybody to look at the front, let alone the back.

So... Wait. What were you doing at Polytech? No, I was just like, that's your experimental days, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you used to say, because the Americans,

we were most familiar with that saying, as you say, college. Yeah. And then I was going to say uni, but you didn't go to uni. I went to a Polytech. Hearing, didn't you experiment in your Polytech days?

This is so Kiwi. Yeah. So, no, no, I didn't. And so this is the first person that's had a real good ferret around out there, a gander. So I wanted it. I didn't really know what I was presenting because I never see it. So I wanted it to be clean and everything.

And then I did that thing where when I get nervous, I just start talking too much. But then it was like pretty weird, a weird sensation. That's how I'd describe it. Because a little puff of cold air comes out. And then it zaps you at the same time. And then it zaps you. So there's three feelings you get.

You get the cold. And I felt it differently all over the different parts of my back and ass. Some parts you just felt the cold puff. Some parts you felt a zap, like the shocky part of it. And then some parts you felt the lingering heat afterwards. Some parts you got all three. Some parts you only got two. It was really, really weird.

But it didn't hurt. Like having had my back waxed for ages, they said, oh, it's not going to hurt as much as waxing. So yeah, I got it all done. Rave reviews of the anus. Not rave reviews, but it was no reviews, so I take that as rave reviews. As rave, right, okay, yeah. Was it Kelly?

Rave reviews, yeah, it was Kelly. Poor Kelly. Professional woman. Well, she's seen two-thirds of the shows and are in bumholes now, Megan. If you ever had a couple of strays that needed zapping, Kelly will more than happily tick off the trifecta. But I'm going back in eight weeks. Yeah, right, okay.

What was your first? I think, yeah, eight. Because Callie said to me, did Fletch not tell you all of this? I said, Fletch has been very coy about this. He's been very vague. He doesn't discuss. I told you about the paper g-string. Did I not?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you kind of briefly mentioned the paper g-string. Only like an hour before I went, you about the paper g-string. Did I not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you kind of briefly mentioned the paper g-string. Only like an hour before I went, you mentioned the paper g-string. It's just for your modesty. She totally sees. Well, yeah, I had to hold the paper g-string to one side, and the other side I had to hold my butt open, so she saw. I opened the shop early.

It was like a bloody Black Friday sale. I opened, and she came rushing in. Oh, good Lord. No fistfights between middle-aged women, though. Right, okay. But yeah, good. Are we good? Didn't hurt.

Yeah. So far, so good. The scratching from where I shaved is stopped. All good. No bad points to report. Brilliant. On board. Fletchvorner Megan.. Brilliant. On board. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. The snobbiest dating app has just been launched in Australia. You may have heard us. It was a while ago now. They launched Toffee, is what it's called, in Britain. Oh, because it's Toffee Nose. Yeah, like.

Yeah. It's now been so successful, they have launched it in Australia. They said, we felt that Australia would be the best place for us to roll out to first as we were inundated with requests for us to launch there. So basically they said, we set it up because we knew that people from similar backgrounds are more likely to stick together. So this is an app for private schoolers only. Yeah.

Do you have to prove, do you have to prove, do you have to send them in your picture of you in the blazer or something? So there is a list of private schools on the app and you can pick from the list. If your school is not on the list, you can write it yourself but then they double check to make sure

it's private slash independent. But how do they know that I went to a private school? Like, they just have to take my word for it, right? Every part of me hopes that they then run it past the school, and because schools, private schools love being private schools. Yeah. And they're like, oh, there's this app for private school, and they'll be like, oh, wonderful, private.

And then they give over all their ex-student's details, and it's just some person collating all the rich people they want to kidnap. Right. Okay, right. It's not a Hollywood movie. Could be. So when you sign up, they ask you questions like, what's your perfect menu for starter, main, dessert, and cheeses?

Oh, my God. Then preferred. You know what? I only go to private school, but I could answer that pretty well. Me too. Especially cheeses. I feel like cheeses, I get a little bogged down in cheeses. Cam and Bert.

Am I private school? Is that what a private school person would say? cheeses. Yeah, camembert. In my private school? Is that what a private school person would say? I don't know, man. Not if you're just going to say camembert. Do I need like a flash cheese? What's a flash? You need like, what about the camembert? Oh, vintage.

What are you doing with it? The age. It's age. Are you vintaging it? It's creamy. I don't know. I just get the cheapest one at the supermarket. And are we talking like French cheeses?

Or would like a gold winning New Zealand cheese do? You know what? We've got some of the best cheeses around. And I won't have a word set against our fine selection of cheeses. We do a cracking blue here in New Zealand. We've got many outlets that do a good blue. You have to be specific. You can't just say blue.

Like, Vaughan and I's favourite, we like the Kekurangi blue. Oh, is it the Puhui Valley? Delightful. That's the Puhui Valley and that comes in an orange you guys sound like private schoolers you've changed only when it comes to cheeses

like I don't have anything else what else do they ask you what kind of car you drive maybe but they've said they ask you your preferred events

on the social calendar nothing just lying I don't like going out I don't like going out pol I don't like going out. Polo? Oh, yeah. Say that you did the polo.

You'd say the polo. Yeah. Say the polo. I just love watching horses getting whacked. And there's a thing called sliders where people can slide the cursor to show how interested they are in attributes or whatnot, like golf or horse riding. They actually wrote horse riding. Weird.

I wouldn't consider those attributes as a hobby, is that? That's so posh to consider a hobby an attribute. Yeah, but you're right,

I don't actually know how you prove that you went to that school. You could just pick a school off that list, right? It's not like they're going to go

into the enrollments and say that you were there. And do a check, yeah. And just like put like Sint in front of something. Sint New Plymouth Boys High School. Yeah.

And I've just made that a private school. Yeah, that'll totally work. That'll totally work. Well, what was yours? Sint Nalen. Yeah. Sint Nalen. Sint Morrinsville College.

Sint Nalen. Sint Morrinsville. Yeah. The patron saint of methamphetamine production. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top Six. A new political party started.

Don't know the name. I've seen the people who started it. I've seen them somewhere before, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't know their names. You should explain why you hate these people so much. The divisive figures. No, I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure, was one of them into dudes,

but he was like quite afraid to admit it? I can't remember. Was it McLeod? No. That wasn't it. Was that the opposite of that? Yeah. Anyway, they've started a new one.

The motorbike guy called himself a bishop. His missus. It wasn't it. Was that the opposite of that? Yeah. Anyway, they've started a new one. The motorbike guy called himself a bishop and his fiery missus. Yeah. Started a political party. So the top six other New Zealand historical figures that started political parties and it led to their downfall is today's top six. Number six on this list, Thingy. Ever wondered why he suddenly disappeared? The puppet. Thingy.

Turns out he was wildly conservative. Didn't want women working. Thought the role was largely a homebound one for all women. Right. Thingy. I know, Thingy. Very conservative. 1950s views.

So that didn't fly. That'll be why he disappeared off our screens. Yeah, he was taken off. You know the one where his eye falls out? Yeah. That's only one of the off-camera bloopers. The other ones, he's really just berating female staff for leaving the home.

Number five on the list of the top six other New Zealand historical figures that started political parties that ultimately led to their downfall are the Polar Pop Bear. Do you remember? I'm the Polar Pop Bear, Polar Pop, Oh, my God. I'm the Polar Pop Bear. Polar Pop. Polar Pop.

And I live in the snow. Well, you may have noticed the Polar Pop Bear was white and largely he thought white was right. Oh, goodness. That was the end of that. Yeah, he tried to start a little something. A right wing party. Ultra, yeah. No, no.

And New Zealand were like, no. Yep. Leave, yeah. No, no. And New Zealand were like, no. Leave the ice blocks, get out. Number four on the list of the top six other New Zealand historical figures that started political parties and ultimately led to their downfall, Opo the Friendly Dolphin. Of course, he splashed around in Opononi in North, up north. Well, he wanted taxes to go up across the board to support environmental reform.

Yeah. Because as he lived in a harbour, he was, you know, experiencing pollution. It turns out he was killed off by a big industry. Right. Because they didn't obviously want the taxes to go up and he wanted to make it harder for them to just put everything in the water.

Yeah. And say, buy pollutants and they go out to sea because he lived in the sea. And they just put their finger on his blowhole and he couldn't breathe. And that was it. My God. You know, you think we've got a pretty clean pass, but we don't. We play dirty. Yeah, I didn't think we had a lot of political scandal here.

Oh, lots of political scandal. Well, it turns out we have. Lots of political scandal. Number three on today's top six controversial New Zealand historical figures that started political parties and it led to their downfall, the Foursquare guy. Remember how he used to look a little bit different? Yeah.

Well, he was replaced by a doppelganger. He led all the unions, of course, of the Greengrocer Union. He organised strikes across the board. He'd take his apron off and he'd throw it on the floor and they weren't having it. Management weren't having it. He was killed off and replaced by a doppelganger. So that's why he looks just a little bit different.

Right, so his political career didn't even get off the ground. No. Right. And at the other end of the spectrum is number two, Mr Decker. Yep. He's the guy that started Decker. Yeah. His name was Decker.

Yeah. That was his first name. He was Croatian. He tried to get a political party off the ground, and it was just all about the top dogs. Right. Real right-wing business party. Like, no such thing as minimum wage.

You could pay them slave labour. He was a big fan of slave labour and he couldn't stand up against the unions and he folded. Right. And it's just that one commemorative sign in Huntley. Yeah, to remember him by. Remembering him by.

Right. And the number one in today's top six controversial New Zealand historical figures that started political parties that ultimately led to their downfall. Number one, Shrek the Sheep. You remember Shrek? He went up into the hills for seven years.

And then when they finally found him, he was a fan of no government at all. He was an anarchist. Oh, yeah, right. Of course, we didn't know that when we made him a national hero. Yeah. And then we shore off his freedom coat, and he wasn't having it. He was in the middle of organising a sheep uprising. Right.

And off to the meatworks with him. Just take care of it. Yeah. You know, you think, exactly, I've said it before in this countdown, you think we're pretty clean politically. Oh, we've got our hands dirty. Haven't we?

Covered in lanolin and blood, as it turns out. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Wow. I personally, today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Wow. I personally am in shock. Whilst I've never owned one, it really, what? You made it sound like you had like an emotional tie to one personally. We've all got an emotional tie to one personally.

Toyota have announced that the Toyota Previa is being discontinued. The Previa. The classic Mexi taxi. The premium Catholic family van. If they were doing well. If they were doing all right, they had a Previa. Otherwise, they might have had like a Bongo or a Nissan. A Bongo.

What were those Nissan ones called? A Van Go? No, a Vanette. Yeah, Vanette. Oh, those are lovely. Look, I've even just gone to toyota.co.nz slash Previa. The page you are looking for cannot be found. No, I don't know if that's just some sort of coincidence.

Quite poetically beautiful, isn't it? So if you were getting a maxi taxi for you and your mate, chances are it was a Previa. You got into a Toyota Previa. But why are they getting rid of it? It's a staple. It's been discontinued, yeah. Well, there's obviously a better Previa. But why are they getting rid of it? It's a staple. It's been discontinued, yeah. Well, there's obviously a better option now.

1990 was when they first started making Toyota Previas. Right. So, like, that's a long, a long time. It's my whole life. Minus a couple of years. There'll be children now listening, because if this was 1990, what could you be? Minus a couple of years. There'll be children now listening because if this was 1990, what could you be?

You could be 29. Yeah. Children. There are 29-year-old children listening. There are 29-year-olds who would have grown up being children. They have not lived in a world without a previa and maybe even were conceived in a previa. If you were under 20. Because those, we took those, what were they, spaceships?

Yeah. Those campers, they were Previas. Yeah, all around the UK. Yeah, spaceships, they're Previas. We've got great memories in those. I know. Two of the UK and one. This is like saying that they're discontinuing the RAV4.

What would hairdressers go to Corson? A question they had to ask themselves when they stopped making Honda CRXs. They're like, what are we going to drive to Corson? A question they had to ask themselves when they stopped making it home to see our exes. They're like, what are we going to drive to Corson now? And the RAV4's like, you who? Here I am. You need a model for next Wednesday to try some new styles? They really zhuzhed up the RAV4. They had.

It's like, ooh la la. I saw one recently. I was like, that's cute. They're real big. A RAV4. I'm wondering if the RAV4's moved out of the price range of your... Yeah, totally. There was always a secondhand RAV4 that you bought to go to course.

But they were quite small. Yeah, but these are big. Tanks now. They're big. A great full drive, actually. No way is this sponsored by Previer. You're upset that the Previer's been... I'm upset the Previer's gone.

How many... Like, you said we used to have a guy at our hockey team and he could fit the whole summer hockey team in the Previa. Legally? No, it wasn't 11-a-side, it was 7-a-side. Oh, right. So we could all fit in the Previa. Had a bench seat up front.

That was always fun. Yeah. Sitting up there in the column change. Yep. Oh, so many memories in a Previa. So what's the replacement then? What are we having? The Sienna.

I don't know. Is it the Sienna? Because this is the other thing about the Previa. It's got different names. You may have seen it as a Toyota Esteema. That's what it was called in Japan and the Australians called it a Toyota Tarago. But they're all the same. They just had slightly

different names. But we called it the Previa. We called it the Previa. It was a Previa. It's been New Zealand's, surely New Zealand's number one people mover for the last 30 years. The premium people mover. Yeah. Yeah. I think someone stole a headrest out of one that was a taxi once.

Not encouraging that at all. Not you? No, not me. You're just someone you heard about. Someone I heard about. Right, okay. Well, we want to know. Many memories.

What I want to do this morning is hear about your Previa memories. There cannot be a car, guaranteed there will be, there cannot be a car that this many were made where majority of people don't have some memory of a Previa. So you would hear... I'm imagining there'd be people

who lost their virginities in the back of a Previa. Because here's the situation. Mum and Dad have got one, and then when you might have been toward the younger end of the family and everyone leaves home and, of course, you inherit mum's old car. Mum's getting a new car. She's been driving the Privia for years. You get the new car.

And, of course, where's better to do hanky-panky in? The back of a roomy Privia. And there were some Privias where the seats folded flat, flat, flat. And if you put, like, a mattress on top, you could go camping. You could stay in a privy. You could sleep in a privy. Maybe a privy took you on a magical adventure somewhere in this world of ours. No one's going to.

Most people's memory is going to be like, oh, I got picked up by a taxi one night out. Cool. There's so many texts coming in. Really? No. I was going to say. Excuse me. There is going to say. Excuse me. There is a text message.

I was like, when you said there's so many texts coming in, I was like, yes, the people are speaking about the Premier. Okay, well, you know what? If you've got, let's see how this goes. Oh, look, there's already three messages. Okay. You would say it is the beginning. Including one that says, yuck, get rid of them. A title change. No, but they've got a story

as to why they think that. Right. Some of them had curtains, didn't they? That you could pull over. Damn right. Alright. Damn right. Maybe your dad was like, has everyone got their seatbelt on? And you were in the back and you were like, yeah, I've got my seatbelt on. So dad jammed on the brakes and your head butted the seat in front of you because you were lying and he and you were like, yeah, I've got to sit back down. So dad jammed on the brakes and your head butted the seat in front of you because you were lying

and he called you on it. Alright, so 0800-DARLS-IT-M. Let's see how this goes. You can text 9696 your Previa memories as we say goodbye to New Zealand's premium people mover. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. We're talking about your Toyota Previa moments. Do you know there was a supercharged version? A 2.4 litre supercharged Previa. It's been discontinued. This is the news. It shocked Vaughan because you believe, Vaughan, everyone has a Previa moment.

Everybody, look at this beautiful, look at this beautiful, what colour would you call that that I'm showing you now? That is a teal, like a metallic, like it's a shimmery teal. A blue that wants to be a green that's faded and dying. God, that's horrible. I know. They're actually ugly as hell, aren't they? That signature range plastic Toyota hubcap sat so proudly upon those wheels.

We want to know about your Previa moments. They, texts and calls have been rolling in. Sharice, good morning. Hi, how's it going? Good. What's your Previa moment?

My Previa moment is about three of us lying down in the very back sneaking into Speedway. Oh, what? So you didn't have to pay admission.

Just one person drives in and you're like, there's just one of us. Yeah, pretty? So you didn't have to pay admission? Just one person drives in and you're like, there's just one of us? Yeah, pretty much. And Dad's 95 Previa that he still has. Yeah. They were a great

people smuggler, the Previa. You could smuggle humans anywhere in the world using a Previa and they'd just run forever because they were a Toyota. Oh.

Oh, yeah. He won't let it die. Are you sad to see that they're going? A little bit, but it also means that Dad will have to get rid of his eventually because he's really trying not to. No, there'll be parts around for those for hundreds of years to come. There'll be thousands of secondhand ones right there.

Curtis, your trivia moment. Yeah, just parked up on the sideon, side of New Brighton Beach conceiving a child seven years ago. Wow. Holy moly. Wow. So you've got a six-year-old or a seven-year-old running around now?

Sorry, six, yeah. She's, we're pretty sure that was when it was. Fun memories. Me and my partner got locked out of the house and stuck with my mate Chris Lindsay's dad's Previa. We'll never forget it. Chris Lindsay! We've got his whole name now.

There's someone listening and their son's called Chris Lindsay. He's like, funny story, I used to have a Previa. Oh my God. I did it. My Previa. Brilliant, Curtis. I did it in my Previa. Brilliant, Curtis. Thanks for your call, mate. I gave birth to my son in a Previa taxi on his birth certificate under place of birth.

It says Toyota Previa. Like you can't fill out official documents. That's where he was born. Where are you supposed to write? But it says place of birth and like, for example, you put Wellington or Auckland. Previa.

That's not a country or a city. It's a previa. It's everywhere and anywhere. Right. Somebody said, my previa moment, New Year's Eve taxi into Hamilton. We drove past the gang pad and they were having a massive fight and it spilled out onto the streets and the taxi driver stopped and locked the doors and there was just, like having a massive fight and it spilled out onto the streets. And the taxi driver stopped and locked the doors

and there was just like this massive fight happening around the Previa. And the taxi driver was like, it's okay, we're in a Previa. It's a fortress. It's a mobile fortress, baby. Like a tank. But then there's the people who won't miss the Previa. Somebody said, thank God it's dying. I'm a mechanic and I will not be sad to see the end of the Previa.

What? I don't know. Are they problematic? I don't know. I thought they just went forever. Somebody else said it's a car groomer. I can't wait to see

the end of the Previa. Very hard car to clean. Nooks and crannies? Maybe the nooks and crannies. Awkward nooks and crannies. Other Previa memories. Somebody said our Previa got stolen

and used in a ram raid. But here's the problem. There's no engine in front of you in a Previa. They ram raided into the door. The front said our Previa got stolen and used in a ram raid. But here's the problem. There's no engine in front of you in a Previa. They ram raided into the door, the front of the Previa collapsed and pinned their legs in the car so they ram raided and they had to wait there for the police to come and save them. Oh my god. So not a fortress.

Not a battering ram. Still a mobile fortress. Somebody said I was driving mum's Previa and I my friend convinced me to do doughies. Donuts in a mobile fortress. Somebody said, I was driving mum's Previa, and my friend convinced me to do doughies. Donuts in a Previa. My friend convinced me to do doughies. We just mentioned before, they did come with a supercharged engine.

They were doing doughies, and they went backwards off a cliff, and it rolled down a cliff, and they had to ring their mum and be like, Mum, I've written off the Previa. Great Previa memory. Somebody else said, we travelled around Australia in the 90s in a Previa.

Two Previas. We were like a Previa convoy. Yeah. Although they were called a Taraga in Australia. The problem was the rental Previa had the crash test dummy tape caught in the tape player. So if we wanted to listen to anything, it had to be that crash test dummy song. It's only so many times you can listen to that. Yeah.

Somebody said, this may be a coincidence, but a guy just flew past me on the motorway in a Previa, pumping his fist. In anger or excitement? No, it sounded like an excitement pump. We had Megan messaging call, and she was chased by the police eagle helicopter in her Previa. They were of the understanding that a Previa with a mismatched door

was involved in a home burglary. She had a Previa with a mismatched door, but it wasn't her Previa, but the police helicopter tailed her all the way home. And the police were about to raid her home when it was confirmed it wasn't actually hers. She was like, this street lighting is really great. Someone said, my mum still drives her Previa even though all the kids have left home. There's seven empty seats.

And just her, she loves it. She always goes down the bus lane and no one ever really questions a Previa in the bus lane. Because you can't see into the back, so you could just say everybody was in the back. Wow, look at that. I told you so many pretty bad memories You told us I did

We were sceptical It was We were It's so sad to see the end of it What a great podcast so far Wouldn't you agree Fletch? Yes And it's all thanks to Spark

Get one gig of bonus data With the Spark U25 pack Now back to the podcast This story has upset me greatly. When someone leaves a will and testament and something is unethical, do you go with what they've written or should you make a stand and be like, no?

I mean, it's not against the law, but it's morally wrong. To contest a will? Yeah. You're well within your rights to contest a will, right? To contest something in the will. Well, they're dead. They don't know, do they?

Yeah. Surely if everyone's in agreement, but then people aren't when it comes to money. No, that's generally why they contest. They feel like they're not getting as much as somebody else. So a woman passed away in the States, and there's something in her will that has people absolutely up in arms. She had a dog, Emma the Shih Tzu Cross, and she loved her dog very much. And Emma was healthy, totally fine, when her owner passed away. Now, her owner wrote in her will that she would like to be buried with Emma.

Now, the problem is, Emma, again, like I say, is still alive. Emma was put in a dog shelter. She was there for two weeks, and the vets offered to have her adopted. Right. But the owner's estate denied, and a healthy shih tzu cross was put down so that the owner could be buried. It's not a Maui dolphin. There's more shih tzus where that came from.

That's an animal, Vaughn. I'd like to be buried with my Maui dolphin. Me too. Can you go and pluck one out? There's only 55 left. I said, get me a Maui dolphin. You can't just say, I want to kill that dog because it's my will. And I want it to be deep with me.

The Egyptians did this, didn't they? Famously, the Egyptians were buried with their cats. But like, you know how... Well, the cats were put in the tomb, eh? And then they would just like die. They left like heaps of whiskers out. Four bowls of jelly meat. And then we just ate it all on the first day.

Do you think she meant, you know how like when you die and people are like, I want to be buried with my husband. Like, you don't go out and kill Barry right now. You wait until Barry dies. You have a plot next to it. Yeah.

But I don't know if a graveyard or a cemetery would be okay with just digging up a tiny little cat hole next to your grave. You'd just get

a post hole borer. It'd be much easier than digging out the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever used A post hole borer No It's so much fun

It's like a It's just like a huge Earth drill It just looks like a Yeah drill for dirt Massive Yeah it is It's lots of fun

You gotta hold it With two hands Right I just think that's really cruel Can But there was nothing wrong With Emma Like I'm not against

Putting animals down If they're in pain Pain yeah totally Just like humans. But there was nothing wrong with her. Put her out for adoption. She can live a long

and healthy life. I guess people are up in arms about this. Well, yeah. Very much so. And I like to think the owner's will was just maybe

taken out. She meant that when Emma died. Yeah, right. Maybe. To then be added to the... It doesn't matter, does it? You don't know.

You're six feet down. Just take three feet down and chuck Emma down in there. Or have it cremated when the dog dies and sprinkle the ashes. Sprinkle it over, yeah. Yeah. On the thing. Yeah. Okay.

But then some people don't believe in cremation, do they? So who knows? Ridiculous either way. But then you're bearing a dog, so I don't know where their beliefs stand on that either. Yeah, true. Like, surely they can make an exception for it. They don't have to toast grandma, but they can, like, do it to the dog, surely,

and then sprinkle it on. But I didn't even thought of that as an option. Yeah. Like, do it later. Yeah. But you're right. Maybe it's just cheaper to get the dog and nan cremated at the same time.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A new study has shown that women have a disadvantage in the workplace. And it's not money. I mean, it is money. But this study is not about money. This is about temperatures. So in the studio currently. Hell, it takes me about an hour before I take my puffer jacket off To acclimatise

But you're both wearing You're wearing like a long sleeve t-shirt Fleek is wearing a t-shirt Like erday And I never take my jacket off Like a blazer or a top It's cold Offering the spare space in the studio

To the liquor king For a walk in fridge It's cold But see I'd rather have a cold studio because if it's too hot, it's like when I'm driving in a car, if it's too hot, you get a bit dozy and a bit like, hmm. Whereas if it's a bit chilly, you're a bit like more awake. Well, that's what you think.

That's what I think. And I'm a man, so. Yeah, so. I'm a man. No one else has got an opinion. We'll go with what you say. Exactly. So researchers have done a test with men and women in a room.

They got them to answer questions at different temperatures. So women got almost 9% more of the questions right when the temperature rose by 5 degrees. Men solved 3% fewer when it rose. So they have deemed that performance is definitely affected by temperature and men seem to like it to be around 5 or 6 degrees

cooler. This is a good way to sell global warming to those old white guys that don't believe it's happening. Be like, you're not going to be able to perform as well when it gets warm. You want it to stay cold. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so they found it a bit clammy and they found it hard to concentrate and answer questions when they put the temperature up. But you always hear about like all the girls in the workplace here

are always like, man, it's so cold. Constantly. And 60-40 in ZM are 60% of females. So if you want to get like best productivity out of the majority of your workers, it would pay

to have a warmer workplace. But it's probably you guys because you guys are all so skinny. You're feeling the cold more than us. Oh my God. Well played. Okay, turn it up then.

Worked out. Oh, that was lame. That was good. It was a great high five. Turn the temperature up then, babes. Oh, it's perfect now. Isn't it perfect? It's perfect for you. It's so cold ines. It's perfect now. Isn't it perfect for you? It's so cold in here.

It's so cold. No, this is all right. There are days when it is cold, but this is okay. My hands are freezing. Look, my nails are almost blue. See? It's nippy. Turn it up a bit, then I can shine.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Every second Friday, we have a chat with the Prime Minister of New Zealand and she's on the phone, called through with perfect timing to make it on here with us right now. Good morning. Good morning. Great timing, great timing. I don't know if Caitlin told you, but we were like,

we're going to have to storm it. Play it at the soul. No need. I'm sorry. No, no, don't be sorry. Don't be sorry. I'm imagining there's things that need to be done. First of all, what do you do?

You know how you just went to Paris for the Christchurch call? What plane do you take? Do you take one of those Air Force planes all the way? Because those don't look very comfortable to travel that sort of distance in. They also don't go that far. I was wondering. Oh. Right.

Yes, well, they could, but you would just stop plenty of times along the way. Right. So if we've got enough people going somewhere to justify it, because on this occasion we really didn't, you might take it to Asia if you've got a trade delegation or something like that, but definitely not to Europe. Right, okay. You'd stop about seven times. Unless you get a carpool and pick everybody up on the way.

Australia will be there around seven. Just be ready. Don't want to wait. Yeah. Singapore. And you had three days up your sleeve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for a lot of dancing around the globe, for sure. Did that go?

I'm sorry, everyone. The Air Force does have planes that are well-equipped to keep us all safe, so don't let me lead you under there. I saw some real cool looking helicopters at that Air Force Base just out of Auckland the other day. I was like, I don't know if we had cool helicopters. I don't know if that's the exact

model. They're exactly how I would have wanted a helicopter to look when I was a kid, basically. That's how I described them when I saw them. I signed a petition this week to have the abortion removed from the Crimes Act 1961. Now, someone actually messaged me and said that something of this sort was already in front of Parliament. Is that true? Where are we at with that?

We've been working on the exact thing. So last election, it was an issue that people were raising, rightly so. We still have abortion in our Crimes Act. And as you've seen around the world, a lot of countries looking to modernise and turn it into a health issue, not a criminal justice issue. And so we asked the Law Commission, what would it look like if we took it out of the Crimes Act but we made sure that we still had regulation to keep it safe for women and that women had all the support

they needed as well so they came back with some ideas we've been working through what a second change in the law would look like so yeah we're working on it the one thing that's really interesting in the New Zealand system is when we vote on bills like abortion

or drugs or euthanasia, we don't vote as parties. We vote as individuals because even in the Labour Party, there'll be people who have religious views who would vote against something like that. So while we're working on a bill, I actually don't know how many

people will support it because I don't know people's different opinions on it. So it'll be interesting. Because even removing it from the Crimes Act, you still kind of have to be deemed mentally unstable by a couple of doctors. So I guess the hard thing is... If you took it out of the Crimes Act, you wouldn't because in New Zealand you can get an abortion if you can prove that you would basically suffer mental harm if you weren't able to access one. So if you took it out of the Crimes Act and just made it a health issue, then that wouldn't be the consideration anymore. So it would change that.

You would still, of course, have to go through a medical professional, but the way you do it at the moment. Yeah. Now, how do you feel seeing yourself on a giant Melbourne silo? The portrait was, and it's a beautiful portrait. It's an incredible artwork. It was unveiled and finished this week. What are your thoughts on that? Yeah, I've seen that.

That was quite something. I, yeah, I don't know. I guess it's I think it caused a little bit of Controversy over there So it's upped A little bit of my social media Trolling a little bit

But nice things as well You know A lot of people are tagging me into it At different times of the day Here's the tank by sunset. Here's the tank in the morning, you know. That's kind of cute. So, yeah, no, it's, yeah, I think it's lovely that over in Melbourne

they followed us so closely that they decided to chuck that up on the side of a silo. Everybody's got that thing they're always tagged in. Like lately I get tagged in everything to do with goats. It's weird that your thing that you're always tagged in is you. I think I'd prefer my situation, at least mine's generally relevant. Oh, goat shade. I will not have the leader of this country speak ill of my goats.

So even the Prime Minister is sick of seeing your Instagram full of goats. That is very hard to process. It's very hard for me to process. That is however acknowledgement that I follow you. Yes. Well, I'm actually doubling down on goats this afternoon. They're going to help me. That's that.

All right. Thanks for the chat. We'll let you get back to country running. Yeah, it was a mix of heavy and light, but I'm always happy to talk policy, guys, no matter what time of day. You know me. Thank you. Perfect and light, but I'm always happy to talk policy, guys. No matter what time of day, you know me. Thank you. Perfect.

No, welcome, welcome. Have a great week, guys. Friday Flashback. Well, it's a tradition to kick off Friday Jams with Friday Flashback, a banger that has to be at least 10 years old. Do what you want it to do. What was the one that I wanted to do?

You know the one. No, I wanted to do that song. You are not doing that. It's too old and shit. It's not too old. It's so fun. It would be so fun. It would be so much fun.

Just put it in there and don't tell Fetch. In we go, new we. It will be the end of this radio station if you play that song. The world will end. It would be tantamount to nuclear meltdown. If there was one time you play that song, the world will end. If there was one time. It would be tantamount to nuclear meltdown. If there was one time to play that song. He's been number one

in the US charts for seven weeks. That song came out in 1992. The one that you want to play. Great things happen in 1992. We're not playing it

over my dead body. You'd have to kill me first. Don't jump in. I would almost guarantee with the song, that that song would get better feedback than the song we're about to play. I would put guarantee the song that song would get better feedback than the song

we're about to play I would put money on it I would put money in fact you know what I'm playing my red card something I've just invented you're not playing the song you're not allowed

to say no to me your gold button what is it my gold button your red card your free pass all the way to to Hollywood.

You're playing your, this could get me fired card. Yeah, I don't care. What good is working here? What good is working here if you can't do what you want? I'm backing Bourne. I think. Because everyone will turn off the radio

to say Bourne, no they won't go anywhere. We've got a bunch of listeners to lose. Yeah, he cares. I anywhere. We've got a bunch of listeners to lose. Yeah, he is. I'll be back. Have you seen what else is out there? Nothing. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. No, let's do it. No. Let's do it. Let's do it. Because I'm shutting the window on the facts I had on this song that you pressured me to play.

I won't be peer pressured, actually. I won't be peer pressured. I. I won't be peer pressured. I'm going to look up the song, Wikipedia of the song I actually wanted to play. Hey, have you got Ross Voss? Ross Voss, good morning. Ross.

Hi. You look so nice today. Well, I mean, I'm in the car and not near you, so I don't know how you can see that. That's creepy. I'm just imagining. I know the song.

Yeah. Permission? What a bloody song. That's creepy. I'm just imagining. But I know the song. Yeah. Permission? Play the bloody song. What's that? What a bloody song? Play the bloody song. Yes! Woo!

Ross, it's a terrible song. Ross, Ross, Ross. It's a terrible, it's from 19, you know what? From 1992. You're a fletch. You gotta try these things. I cannot believe we're about to play this song. This song came out in 1992 from an album called Some Gave All.

And the reason you want to play it is because he's back with the number one song. Yeah. And I take great pride in telling my kids this was the first tape I ever owned. It was. I got it for my 10th birthday along with some perfectly round sunglasses and a metal necklace. And it wasn't like nice metal because I had a skin reaction to it and I started wearing it. This is an absolute banger.

I can't believe we're doing this. Everyone's telling you to stop doing the party pooper on the text. Someone said if you can play that shitty Britney song last week, Vogue can play this. Wait and see. This was voted the worst song of all time by some. Exactly. Featured at number two in the list of 50 most awesomely bad songs ever. There you go.

And you're giving your permission, Ross Boss. Absolutely. Why are we delaying it? Chants. Because you've got to build it up. Chants. I thought you said chants. Number one in Australia.

Number one in New Zealand. Oh, God. From 1992. From the man himself who gave us. Without him, we wouldn't have Miley. It's Billy Ray Cyrus. Achy breaky heart. And it is your Friday flashback.

Yeah, baby, let's line up. No, no, no. You can tell the world I never was my girl You can burn my clothes when I'm gone Oh, you can tell your friends Just what a fool I've been And laugh and joke about me on the phone

You can tell my aunts Go back into the phone You can tell my arms Go back into the barn You can tell my feet To hit the floor Or you can tell my lips To tell my fingertips They won't be reaching out For you no more

Don't tell my heart My achy, breaky heart I just don't think It understands And if you tell my heart My achy, breaky heart I just don't think he'd understand And if you tell my heart My achy, breaky heart He might blow up and kill his man Ooh You can tell your mom I moved to Arkansas

You can tell your dog to bite my leg Or tell your brother Cliff Whose fist can tell my lip He never really liked me anyway Or tell your Aunt, tell anything you please A self-proclaimed nose is not okay Oh, you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind It might be walking out on me today

But don't tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart I just don't think he'd understand And if you tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart I just don't think he'd understand And if you tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart He might blow up and kill his man Don't tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart He might blow up and kill this man Don't tell my heart My achy, breaky heart

I just don't think he'd understand And if you tell my heart My achy, breaky heart He might blow up and kill this man Ooh, ooh, ooh Wow, well this is... Beautiful! Yee-hoo! Well, this is... Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Well, this has happened, hasn't it? We've just played a song from 1992 as our Friday Flashback. The feedback... Oh, God, really? Oh, massive. Thank you for all your tips. I can't remember a Friday Flashback with this much feedback. Billy Ray Cyrus back in the charts with the number one song with Lil Nas X. He's been seven weeks number one in the States for that song.

Did you see when Nas X gave him a Maserati? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, boy, we're doing this. I was just like, yes. Oh, so great. And you're right that without him we wouldn't have Miley. But I don't know if, but obviously the people have loved it. Haven't they?

They have. Somebody messaged in and I've checked this number. I don't have it on my phone saying they remember Dancing with me at intermediate to this At a disco And I was like I don't know If that sounds right but probably because I did know the line dance

Right I'll just say Rural upbringing Some text messages in I'm a country girl when this comes on at a party, everyone gets up for a boogie. It really is a great uniter, this song. Someone else said, Fletch, if you're against this song, perhaps it's time you hung up your headphones, mate. People calling for your retirement.

Oh, really? Really? Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If this was sort of a political move, you wouldn't be in the party any longer. I mean, it was voted one of the worst songs of all time. Worst but best songs was what it was voted.

Right, okay. Somebody, just all great, all great, all great feedback. No negative feedback at all. Many people calling for more of the era to appear in Friday Flashbacks. More of the older. More of the flashbacks. To really go back. Right.

To really play those flashbacks, the jams. Somebody said, I had my first kiss to the song at youth group with another male. Sorry, Jesus, but thank you, Vaughn. Don't thank me. Thank Billy Ray. Wow. And the man that wrote the song, Billy Ray didn't even write it. Don Van Tress wrote it, apparently.

Huh. So he's still doing all right. We just chucked him 16 cents and he is most, he's absolutely most welcome. I heard from a friend of the show last night who shall remain nameless. Okay. Saying something's happened and I thought you guys might want to talk about it.

Okay. This is great. You are, thank you for contacting me because it makes it look like I've done work when I've done nothing. Right. She recently in a new vehicle got a little too close to a curb.

After her partner has told her on multiple occasions, stop parking so close to the curb. Right. You've scraped the wheels. But on the old car, not a problem. New car, however. Yeah, got to be careful. Flawless mag wheels have now got a large character scrape.

Is there a better feeling in the world when you do a parallel park and you're like an inch away from the curb? Oh, yeah. And it's perfect. And you're like, wow, that's good. And then someone's like, great park. Yeah. Yeah, thank you.

I did one in front of a bunch of dudes the other day. I had to stop myself from being like, yeah, that's right. What you looking at, boy? That's right. What you looking at, boy? Drink it in. So they didn't nail the parallel park, though. They scraped the brand new mag wheels of the brand new car.

Okay. And there was panic, panic set in. Okay. Now, they then, panic set in. Okay. Now they then Googled how to fix this, and they were in a city where a guy does this as a job, goes around and fixes wheels. You're doing well to dance around too many details of this person. Yeah.

You don't want to drop them in it. Well, I've just realised that she said, if you do talk about this, try not to make it between eight and quarter past, because that's when he's in the car listing. And we're right in the hot listing and we're right in the we're right in the hot spot we're right in the hot spot

oh it's too late and then he's probably putting some clues he's a smart man he's putting the clues together okay stop so this guy comes around and on the side of the road

fixes these wheels gets this thing out like repaints the wheel and apparently you would just never know but you unless you took a big chunk out of the wheel yeah I don't think it scratches right that's a bit more than But unless you took a big chunk out of the wheel.

Yeah, I don't think it scratches, right? That's a bit more than a character scrape. Right, a big chunk out of a wheel, but he came around and fixed that. And so she said she has got away with the perfect crime. Until you talk about it now. Yeah, talk about it now. Because, you know, especially when it's a crime where your partner's told you not to do something and you do it.

And then you do it. So I want to know this morning, when you got something fixed before your partner noticed, when did you avoid, I told you so, from your nearest and dearest? Because those are the I told you so's that really hurt the most. Yeah. When did you avoid that by getting it fixed before they noticed? And what was it that you got fixed before they noticed? Do you have one of these, Megan?

Why are you looking at me? No, I don't actually think I have. I feel like Vaughn's more of a culprit to this. Yeah, but I always just get caught because I'm too lazy to get things fixed. It's like, don't go up there, you'll fall through the roof. And then I fell through the roof. Oh, yeah. It was almost like she was travelling at the speed of light to get to there,

where the minute I hit the ground, she's like, you fell through the roof. I told you so. I might need a tetanus shot. I told you so. You have that and tetanus shot. I told you so. You have that and an injection. Straight into the heart. Boom. Adrenaline shot off.

I told you so. All right. Well, maybe you've broke something of your partner's. Yeah. And you've needed to do a cheeky. You've got it fixed before they notice. Or even replaced with something of the same so they wouldn't notice. True.

A full replacement. A full replacement. Maybe they wouldn't notice. True. A full replacement. A full replacement. Maybe they didn't notice. And we're talking about when you've had to replace something. Yeah, replace or fix something probably before your partner noticed. Just secretly. The essential part of this.

Get away with it. Yeah. Scott free. I've just been told I was very tactful and discreet upon my initial storytelling and there's no way that Lee Ops will know that it was in reference to his car. Why?

So, we want to know from you when you've done it. I can't believe you did that. These things happen. These words slip out. Taylor, when did you try and fix something or replace something before your partner noticed? Hi, my partner had bought me the new iPhone Max SX

or whatever on Mother's Day. On Sunday, a week later, we headed out to Morrinsville for my cousin's birthday party and I smashed my iPhone screen. So my mum, my amazing mum, raced me down to the Morrinsville, you know, shops, and we got the phone fixed before we came back to Auckland on Sunday. Where the hell did you get an iPhone fixed in Morrinsville?

Yeah, it was a mish, but we got it done, thank goodness. Wow. And so, go back, it's been fixed with, like, bailing twine and masking tape, and you're like, this is as good as new. Wow, and so he, to this day, doesn't know? No, he doesn't know, unless he's listening right now. Yeah, I mean, like, it's as good as new. Wow, and so he to this day doesn't know? No, he doesn't know unless he's listening right now. Yeah, I mean, he's there. If you'd just taken it home broken,

would you have just got a lecture? Oh, no, I think he would have been pretty upset. He's really cute. He went full extreme, got the glass protector, got me a case. And you still smashed it. Yeah, it just slid right out of my pocket onto the concrete and just completely moronsville's concrete is particularly tough

is it tougher than any other country um nate what what happened oh i lost my wife's wedding ring someone you had to buy a new one to replace it? Yeah. Wait, why did you have the wedding ring? Was this before the wedding? No, no, she left it on the sink in the bathroom and I accidentally smacked it into the toilet. So I would have blamed that on her. I wouldn't have done anything. I would have been like...

She didn't realise when I told her I'd find it. But did she not know that that's a new one? No. Just claims. Oh, babe. But I would not know that that's a new one? No. Just claims. Oh, babe. I would have blamed her for that. She left it on the bathroom sink. I just would have walked away and been like, you haven't met my wife.

Oh. Well, I hope she's not listening, Nate. I hope she's not listening. No, she's at work. Oh, good. Okay, good. Sneeze once if you need an emergency evacuation. I'm alright. Thanks, Nate. I'm all right.

Text messages. My boyfriend accidentally killed my rabbit, Bruce. I stood on him. I've heard that about rabbits, though. They're always scurrying about. You might accidentally stand on them. Anyway, replaced Bruce with a lookalike. Yeah.

Bruce wasn't as friendly to me when I got home, and he was like, oh, Bruce has been sulking lately, but it was a Bruce lookalike. Yeah. Bruce wasn't as friendly to me when I got home and he was like, oh, Bruce has been sulking lately. But it was a Bruce-alike. And he would have got away with it as Bruce started coming around and being a bit more friendly if I didn't wake up one morning to Bruce and his six new babies. Oh. Idiot.

Idiot, yeah. But then you've got cute wee babies. He went for the lookalike, though, and male or female, hard to tell. Yeah. And then you're just assuming your rabbit He went for the look alike though And male or female hard to tell And then you're just assuming your rabbit you're purchasing isn't pregnant right But then I just would have been like Oh we've had a female all along Bruce hit

That somehow is a miraculously We need to call Mary Immaculate conception No but you could say Oh yeah I didn't want to say but I let Bruce got out for 10 minutes. Yeah. That's all it takes when you're a rabbit.

I put my husband's three light shirts through the wash with colours when he told me, and in his defence, they were hanging up on coat hangers in the laundry, saying he was going to hand wash them in the weekend. I just chucked them in. I went to Barker's though and got exact shirts rematched in the perfect size took the tags off

and hand washed them so they didn't feel new he still doesn't know to this very day that would have been expensive too three new shirts yeah

well they might have had one of those three shirt package deal situations I don't know yeah someone said my mum scraped up

the new mags on dad's car Once she put the spare wheel In And switched it Switched the spare wheel With the scraped one And then Took the scraped one

Once And got it fixed And for a two week period Every day she'd like He'd be nuggeting A flat tire today And she got it back on And he never knew

Oh brilliant She committed The perfect crime I got an electric lawnmower and a massive extension cord. I can see where this is going. You're going to run that cord over with that mower? And I was like, I'm not stupid. I'm not going to run the cord over with the mower.

I did. I quickly went out and bought exactly the same cord, and he never found out. He never found out. That is brilliant. Yeah. I told you so. But this is also

an insight into people getting very angry over what can be an easy fix most times. But it's not even that the other person's going to be angry. They're going to have the smugness of saying those fateful words. I told you so. And they don't even need to say it sometimes. Just the look.

Smug. Smug smile. Just that look. Yep. Smug. Smug smile, raised eyebrows, heads slightly to the side and tilted. Yeah. So there you go. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. This is a fact of the day that I floated last Friday and I said,

remember I gave you a choice and I said you can have that one or that one and then I said I'll do the other one Monday and then I forgot because classic porn. Oh yeah, I forgot too. Yeah, I mean we all forgot. It wasn't like a life or death thing. I've been stewing on it all week. There's been a little bit of tension. Yeah, week. There's been a little bit of tension. Yeah, yeah.

There's been a little bit of tension. Well, in 1990, this is today's fact of the day. This is the Crayola one I gave you the option for. Oh, yeah. In 1990, after 35 years

of being a Crayola crown maker. A what maker? Crayola crown. Cray what maker? Crayola crown. Crayon. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Not crown. Crayon maker.

And one of the top dogs at the factory making 4.1 billion Crayola crayons in his time. Emerson Moser admitted he was colorblind and he could not tell the difference between blue and green and he just didn't know what violet was. Oh. What was he doing? He brought colour to so many kids' lives. Is that why he ended up with a pack with a couple of blue ones? Maybe.

Of the same colour ones? No, because he wasn't like... Doing the colour palette. Right. That was the machine kind of sorting situation. Okay. But yeah, he the machine kind of sorting situation. Okay. But yeah, he said a lot of the times,

because when someone says they're colour blind, you're like, oh, what colour is this then? That's the immediate reaction to colour blind. But a lot of people just can't see colours

when they're over top of other colours or differentiate. Or like a certain palette. Two colours sitting beside each other or yes, a specific shade of it. Well, he said

blues and greens were his hardest, but also salmon really played with him. Yeah it. Well, he said blues and greens were his hardest but also salmon really played with him and violet, he just couldn't tell you what was violet in a line-up of colours.

He could probably eliminate the others but then the blues, the greens and the violets he said would really mess with him. Did he look at a pack of crayons and be like,

ooh, that just looks like a hole? He said he knew before he started working there but he wanted a job and then he got in there and he did quite well so he's like,

well, obviously I can't say anything now. So I've just got to keep making these crayons and not mention anything. And he said, but at his retirement, he's like, guys, by the way, I think I'll let the cat out of the bag. I can't tell the difference between a lot of these colours. A couple of them I can't see full stop. Wow.

Yeah. lot of these colors a couple of them i can't see full stop wow yeah so today's fact of the day is a man that made 1.4 billion crayons over 35 years was quite intensely colorblind fact of the day day day day day I knew a political party was announced yesterday. The media went for a laugh and they did have a laugh at the launch of this political party. I'm choosing not to say the name of the people that started the political party because I don't think saying their name is going to do anybody any favours. You think they're getting too much press already.

Yeah, but we'll talk about someone who's taking the mic and he joins us on the phone, New Zealand comedian, Tim Batt. Good morning. You're really painting me into a corner here. I know you can say it. This is just one of my own stupid things I get on my whole horse about and then say I'm going to do it and have to do it.

I think it's totally fair enough, though. And I'm actually at the point now where I'm like, am I now part of the problem? You've become so much of the solution that the solution's become the problem. Because yesterday when this political party was announced, the name of it, the Coalition New Zealand Party. I said it. I know I said the party, and I'm not going announced, the name of it, the Coalition New Zealand Party. I said it. What did you,

I know I said the party, I'm not going to say the name. You purchased a website address. What do you call this? A URL? A domain. Come on, mate. It's 2019.

Yeah, no one's buying domains anymore, apart from you. Yeah, I've got a couple of them. Oh, because that's what I was thinking. You've got the main one, coalitionparty.co.nz, but did you hedge your bets and get a few surrounders as well? Yeah. I only got one other one, and I've got to be honest,

I've had so much debt right now, this does not sound financially but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. So I've got coalitionparty.co.nz and I've redirected that URL to go to a TV show that I made with two very funny gay comedian friends of mine, Chris and Eli, called The Male Gaze. Brilliant. That was a great show.

Thank you very much. I found out one watcher. I watched it on TVNZ On Demand. It was bloody great. It was a good show. And then with the other one, I've got coalitionparty.nz, and I redirected that one to the petition to get abortion removed from the Crimes Act. Oh, Tim.

You're a great man, Tim. You're a great man. You're the hero we need. You are. But, Tim, you said you're in financial strife. What would you do if these people whose names we won't be saying rolled in with some cash money to buy it off you? I would not be selling it to them.

I think I've got a lot of faith in this country. I think we're a beautiful set of people, and I'm sure that there'd be some other people who would come and help me out if it came to that, which I'm sure it wouldn't. Right. I would not be selling it to this city church. Let me put that on the record right now. You can really take a good cut.

The coalition party might not have any policies, but I've got one and that's it. And you won't be selling it. Oh, I love a good stubborn policy stick. That's what keeps us going. Well, so they're redirecting. So that's what happens when you go, because that was another question of mine.

If you go there, what's there? But it redirects to two. Yeah. You would say two sort of issues that you would imagine this party would be in the opposite stance to. Absolutely. I actually, oh, I shouldn't mention other radio stations, but it's RNZ, so I don't think you got a lot of crossover. I was just on Morning Report. Yeah.

And they put me on hold while they were talking to Hannah, Hannah Tamaki, who would be the leader of the party. Yeah. Right. She, like, it's so crazy. It's like she just decided last week that they would do a political party and then they took no further action and then just did a press conference. They don't have a website. they don't have any policies, she hasn't thought out what the direction of the party

is. So all you can do is go by what we know about Destiny Church and what we know about them is that they think gay people cause earthquakes and they think it's a really cool idea to come down to Christchurch and protest the mosque that suffered a massacre days afterwards

telling them about Jesus Christ. They're bad eggs. They should not be in our politics. Yeah. Have you had any correspondence personally from anyone in that party? They sent you a message? There's some

Destiny Church supporters. Just a couple who have gotten in touch. But, you know, that's totally their right, and I can understand they'd be pretty peeved about what I've done. I get that. No one asking to buy it yet? Oh, no, no, no. Nah.

Look, this is why I'm so povo. I'm not a big money guy. I'm not out there trying to grab all the bucks. I'm just out here trying to make the people laugh. They love it. Well, you've done that, Tim. Thanks so much for

having a chat to us, mate, and good luck getting, I don't know, some cash out of someone for that website. Always a pleasure talking to you guys.

Awesome. Thanks, Tim. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.