ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 28 2018

Episode Date: May 27, 2018

Producer Caitlin got some love advice from her Uber driver, we find out if Megan is smarter than a nine year old and how many relationships have you been in at one time?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Monday. Chilly start this morning. Would this be the coldest? Well, I had to contemplate putting on a sweatshirt, so that's pretty, that's out there. That's cold. Well, for Auckland anyway, yeah. I had like five layers on my bed last night. Really? Yeah, I was frozen.

Huh. I must be running hot. I must be running hot. I mean, granted, I'm outside to my car and then I park underground here and get in a lift and I'm sort of... I'm not exposed to the elements in any way.

So I'm not denying people who are at the moment feeling the cold. Yeah. But I'm not exposed to it personally, but it sounds awful. You guys okay? Sounds dreadful. It sounds bloody horrible. It's outside business. Shiver me timbers, you fellas and fella-esses.

It looks like you had a good weekend with your Lego. Oh, my gosh. Like a grown man. I said last week when I got the Lego, I've never had Lego. I didn't get bought Lego when I was a kid. So what did you build? The Starship Enterprise. You're about to get a smack in the mouth.

I bought the Millennium Falcon. The Kessel Run Millennium Falcon. It's the other one. Oh, the Kessel Run. Yeah. Yeah, not 91 or Diesel. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, well, Star Wars people know.

Han Solo says the Millennium Falcon's the ship that did the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs. The one that Harrison Ford drove, eh? Yeah. No. Well, Han Solo drove it, but not when Harrison Ford played Han Solo. Okay. It's the new old Han Solo. You know what I'm saying?

No. From the new movie. No idea. What's his name? Older than Eynric. When he plays Han Solo. How long did it take you to build this? Like two hours 20.

Did you let your kids do any of it? I offered to let them do it, but they just knew. They knew Dad was having fun, so they just let me. You didn't even leave your seat during that time. No, I didn't. I didn't go to the toilet or anything. I just zoned out for like two hours. Time lapse the whole thing.

I can't believe you made a time lapse. Yeah. Oh, it was the highlight of my weekend. Like yesterday, we always do at dinner, we talk about the highlights of our day. Yeah. What's your favourite part of the day? Yeah. And just kind of talk about our day.

And no one asked me. Because August always picks the order of who's going to get it. And then I got went last. But no one asked me. I said, is anyone going to ask me what the favourite part of my day was? And Andy said, we don't need to ask. We already know what your favourite part of the day was. I was building the Lego.

I was like, you're right, you're not wrong. I'll give you that. Such a big kid. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. And for those new to story time, I've got three news headlines for three interesting unusual news stories that I found online. Vaughan and Megan only get to pick one headline.

The others, that's just tough. That's just life. They're thrown out. Headline one, retiring principal feels like he's retiring in Mexico. Headline two, McDonald's facing a cheesy lawsuit. And headline three, Florida man tries to take down drone over his house in the most Florida way. Oh, he shoots down the drone. Yeah, with what though?

Like a minigun or something? Like a legally acquired AR-15? Oh, you're not in Florida15? You need to be careful. Oh, you're not in Florida, but you need to be careful flying your drone around. Some of my AR-15, your drone. I'm a rule follower. This is over the weekend.

They're saying something like 50% of recreational drone users don't give a damn about the law. Of course they don't, because they have to keep diverting flights at Auckland Airport. Oh, but guys, we're not going to be able to use it recreationally if you keep this shenanigans up. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it.

Okay? Thanks. Two. Cheesy McDonald's lawsuit. You want that one? I think so. Okay. We go to America and Florida, where all great news stories come from.

Well, that's the other one. The other one was in Florida too, wasn't it? It was, yeah. A lot of story time is sourced from Florida. It's just an absolute hub of information. It's because we've discussed it before. It's because everything, every police record becomes public. Yes.

So you get a lot of good news from that. Yeah. Because in New Zealand, they never release 111 calls, do they? They do. Are they in court? Criminal cases? Yeah. If they're using part of a criminal case,

I think they do. Well, anyway, our two McDonald's customers in Florida are suing McDonald's for $5 million. Now, they claim they've been unfairly charged for cheese that they don't want on their burgers. Now, they claim they've been unfairly charged for cheese that they don't want on their burgers. So, for example, they're going in to buy a quarter pounder

and you get two or three. You get two slices of cheese. You knew that very quickly. On a quarter pounder? Yeah. So, I'm just looking at a picture now. You get bun, pickles, all that stuff, then cheese, then patty. Is there two patties or one patty?

Quarter pounder's one patty. Oh, right. So you get a cheese either side of the meat patty. So they're saying when they order the quarter pounder, they're saying no cheese. I don't know if they don't like cheese. I don't know, are they monsters? Lactose intolerant?

Maybe. Well, they're saying that the price remains the same when they minus the cheese. Now, their argument is here, a hamburger and a cheeseburger are a different price. Right. So this... I mean, you can't fault them on that logic. You can't on that logic.

That is solid logic. That's solid logic. So they're saying, well, we're going to go to court, and they're seeking class action status. Donald's apparently sell four different quarter pounder options, two of which came without cheese, and they cost between 30 to 90 cents less. But when you buy the quarter pounder, and you say minus the cheese, they don't minus the price.

But why don't they just get the cheeseless quarter pounder? The cheeseless option. I don't know. Maybe they don't want that. Maybe it's a different price. What is a cheese? What are the four serving options? I don't know in America what the difference...

Like rare, medium, rare, well done and... I don't think so. Maybe they're talking double quarter pounders or... Right. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know what they have in America. But McDonald's are saying, just dismissing it basically,

and saying that it's up to the individual franchisees how they set their menu prices on respective markets. But then when you go to a restaurant or anything, if you asked for a salad sans tomatoes, they don't minus it off the price. They don't tell you tomatoes cost us 30 cents, so. Yeah, you still pay the same price. Well, that's the thing.

If you were ordering that as a side and extra, you'd be charged a couple of dollars at brunch, wouldn't you? True. But I know people, I have friends that will haggle

if they take something off the menu at like a cafe. Right. They're like, well, I don't want the sausage or the bread. Give me something else

for that price. I've never had a problem doing that. But a negotiation. I mean, you can't switch one slice of bread out for a serving of avocado. You've got to know your cafe exchange rates. It's got to be similar value at least. Yeah.

Have you ever asked for a Big Mac made with a quarter pounder burger? Quarter pounder patty? No. Try that. It's a little tip from me to you. Isn't there like two, just one Big Mac made with a quarter pounder burger? Quarter pounder patty? No. Try that. It's a little tip from me to you. No, but isn't there like two, just one Big Mac, one patty and a Big Mac? Two quarter pounder patties. So you're a half pounder.

Oh, no. That's ridiculous. You won't look back. I mean, I don't need McDonald's. You won't look back because you can't? Your neck gets so sore from being so full. Try it. Just try it.

Right. Okay. Ask for a Big Mac, but made with quarter pounder patties. Okay. I feel it's too early in the morning for this kind of advice. It's not. This is never too early. There's a truck driver now who's getting to the end of the shift.

He's like, this guy's talking my language. A little Big Mac for breakfast. ZM. ZM. Bleach for to Megan. $100,000. You'll get that. Your birthday twin gets that if we can match your birthday,

your day, your month, and your year with our double date at 8 a.m. this morning. I thought you said your birthday twink. Twin. Twink. I thought you said birthday twink. I was like, what is that? You get a big hairy bear for their birthday. Yes. Happy birthday, Barry. I've got your twink. Twink. It's your birthday, Twink. I was like, what is that? You get a big hairy bear for their birthday. Yes.

Happy birthday, Barry. I've got you a Twink. Just sort of always wanted. Hi. Hi. Anyway. Someone needs to clean out their berries, don't they? Yeah.

You know, hearing what you want to hear. A lot to be said for that. If you're feeling a little bit chunky after the weekend. Oh, my God. Why? Don't look at me when you say that. How rude. I was just, it was accidental.

There is, this is a government advisor in Britain. He is suggesting that overweight workers should be allowed to start work later to avoid the rush hour. So if they find public transport or travelling, they get anxiety because, you know, like they might struggle with public transport, getting on buses or like finding seats or maybe getting heckled on public transport. Who heckles people on public transport?

I don't know if people would heckle as much as maybe all it needs is a, you need just a stare or a glance. Yeah. Imagine trying to get on like the tube in rush hour and it's packed and you've already got to squeeze in and you, you know, you've got a bit more to you. Yeah.

That's not going to make you feel good, is it? Yeah. So they said people are arriving at work depressed and anxious because they're having to get through rush hour traffic. So this government advisor is suggesting letting them turn up a little bit later so that they can avoid the rush

and turn up feeling a bit more positive. Now, of course... I can't imagine this has gone down well. No, I'm kind of like... So he wants it to be called a protected characteristic, like an age or gender discrimination. So it's another discrimination that... But then my thoughts...

Do I want to say this? You're going to say... I know what you're going to say. What? It's their choice. I'm not going to say choice, but there is something you can do for yourself to stop yourself being in that predicament, whereas

gender and age are... Yeah, but you're also assuming that they're not trying to. Well, if they're trying, good on them. Why aren't they being successful? No, that might be the start of their journey. It's a tough one. Because there are people who are constantly trying to

lose weight, and for everyone, it's not tough one. Because there are people who are constantly trying to lose weight. And for everyone, it's not as easy. So they would struggle. I'm not denying that, but I just don't know if saying, oh, you come to work when you're ready, mate, is the answer to that. But yeah, so other people are saying, well, you're now encouraging them to stay overweight or become overweight because it's easier for them. I drive my own car to work, but if this rule comes in,

it's no more gyms in the morning for me. But you could say you have to stay an hour later at the end of the day, right? Right. So that then you miss rush hour again, but you're still doing the same work day as everyone else. But then that just sounds semi-sensible for anyone, regardless of state of obesity.

Yeah. So, you know, have half your workforce not getting stuck in traffic, but they stay a little bit longer. But it can be, everyone just assumes it's like people eating too much or whatever, but it can be like a medical thing. So why is it not treated like with a bit more sympathy? I feel like.

Wait, look at me. I don't have the answer. I feel like on Talkback Radio today. It's really going to heat up. Really people are going to not hold back, are they? No, I don't think so. I just, yeah, for me personally, when I'm on the bigger side of things,

it's just because I'm not really trying. But then that's my experience with it and I can only speak to my experience. But there would be people out there who are putting in the effort and not getting the results perhaps. But then, yeah, I've always thought if someone's struggling like that, giving them another thing for people to point about is problematic.

You're already in the office and you're like, oh, I can feel the looks, I can feel the glues. And then all of a sudden, now I'm allowed to arrive an hour later than these people. Yeah, right. Is that going to make them more sympathetic to my cause or? Probably not. No, I wouldn't imagine so. Especially if you go to the vending machine for a chocolate

bar at 11. You only just got here. It's not going to make the workplace environment any better for it. It's just saying. I mean, traveling to work 2 will be better, but once you get there. You'll get up and you'll start walking even towards the bathroom, and it's on the same way as the kitchen with the vending machine, and there'll be a...

F.E.M. Z.E.M. Wellington has been named the most livable city in the world by Deutsche Bank. Now, I don't know what that is apart from like a German bank. It's a German bank. Yeah, Deutsche Bank. I don't know why. Why would they be a German bank. Yeah, it's a German bank. Yeah, Deutsche Bank. I don't know why.

Why would they be doing a thing on the most livable cities? I don't know. Maybe they're getting a mortgage with them. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Do they give out mortgages in New Zealand? I don't know. I don't know either.

So, I don't know why they're doing it, but the things they looked at were purchasing power, which surprises me because Wellington, you know, it's been flying up in price. And try renting a flat there. Very hard. It's insanely hard. Yeah. So purchasing power, safety, healthcare, cost of living, property to income ratio, traffic

commutes, pollution, and climate. So having friends that live in Wellington, I'd say property to income, traffic commutes, and climate would all be an interesting thing that they're apparently good enough to be the best in the world at. But it is. It's beat in a whole lot of other cities. It's the most livable city in the world. Number one.

Apparently, according to the Deutsche Bank. That makes me proud. And it's up there with Amsterdam, Frankfurt. There's Sydney and Melbourne in there. Okay. Which are the only other southern hemisphere cities. I can see by the looks of it. Helsinki, Vienna, Edinburgh.

Edinburgh? Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Why did I say Edinburgh? Because that's how it's spelled. I looked at it and I was like, that's not coming out of my mouth right. Edinburgh.

Edinburgh. Copenhagen and Zurich. Wow, okay. So, you know. Well, because you think Wellington's traffic is bad, but when you compare it to like all those big cities, Copenhagen and Zurich. Wow, okay. So, you know, a great list of cities there. Well, because you think Wellington's traffic is bad, but when you compare it to like all those big cities, it's probably not as bad.

Not as bad. Climate though, I mean, you can't beat Wellington on a good day, is what everybody always says. What's true, you can't. You literally can't. But on a sideways... That makes you feel like...

The bad days are really bad. The sideways rain and the wind that goes right through your Mac Pack or Kathmandu puffer jacket. And another thing about the wind is you're just walking along the road and like a politician will be blowing down the street. Like a tumbleweed. Like a tumbleweed. And they just like bang into things.

That's the... You know, politicians everywhere. Yeah. Arty students. Yeah. Oh, it's a great city I love Wellington Great I'm proud

Best in the world Don't say it with an up and a bleak chin You're such a Kiwi I'm just trying to keep it humble She's pretty good She's pretty bloody good Best in the world I don't know about that Fletch, Vaughn and Megan The podcast There's a guy in the UK, his name's Chris Owens,

and he is a serial complainer. In fact, he makes money off it. How much money? Because I love a winch. He makes about £90 a month by complaining about food he orders. Okay. So he doesn't just restrict it to food. He once complained about an ill-fitting oven that was like poorly fitted and he won 400

pounds. But he said his main go-to is when he complains about mayonnaise in food. So he'll get, he'll order something and food will be delivered to his table and he'll complain that it's got mayonnaise in it because he doesn't like it. But then did he stipulate pre-ordering? But he's saying you don't need to or...

And how's he getting money from these people? So he said, well, I don't know if he's equating the money to like meals and stuff he gets for free, but I think he does get

his money back as well. So he's ordering something, they're giving his money back and they're giving him a free meal. I don't like people like that. What's his name? Chris. Ah, piss off Chris, that's what I'd say. It wouldn't happen here in New Zealand. I don't know if you'd get away with it here

because if you didn't like mayonnaise, you'd have to say... You'd have to stipulate pre-order during your ordering. So he's saying it's a really arrogant condiment. He genuinely doesn't like it. And if it's not stipulated in the menu, he's like it always, burgers always come with it, salads always come with it, and they don't say that it's going to have it on it,

then you can complain. He just called a condiment arrogant. How dare he? Has he not had Best Foods mayonnaise? A delicious mayonnaise. Oh. Yeah. I don't.

I just cringe when I'm with someone and they start complaining about food and stuff. Something that's not complain worthy. Yeah, I'm just like, shut up. Who cares? Just eat it. So money wise, he reckons he's made 3,000 pounds since he started complaining. Yeah, but how long has that been? And also.

Bit of use of time to actually just like get a job. He would have made more than 3,000 pounds by now. And has he got friends? Because that would be hard to be around. And an ill-fitting oven is just like, you know the dimensions of the oven you require when designing a kitchen or replacing an oven. Because he's complained about the overuse of chilli flakes on a pizza.

But if it would have chilli in there. Surely it would tell you it had chili on the pizza. But maybe there was too much for his liking. Man, this guy is just awful. But his advice to other people, he said, look, you don't have to put up with what's given to you if you don't like it. You can always

get your money back. But you also don't have to order it if you know you're not going to like it. Yeah, he should just not go out anymore. Awful person. This guy could never travel to New Zealand. No. I'd like to make a complaint. Be like, sweet. I'm not listening, but go ahead.

Knock yourself out. Start talking. I'm going to be over there totally listening to your complaint and taking it very seriously. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Let me tell you a little story before we start today's Top 6. About a Harcourts get-together. A staff national conference held in Auckland.

Tuesday night, game on! It's a themed networking party encouraging Harcourts staff to dress up as sports players. Well, they all came as a raft of different sports people. And I don't know what office decided that was a good idea to do this, but one office came as the Cameroon team who went to the Commonwealth Games. And then you'll remember eight of them went AWOL. They actually found them, didn't they? Eventually, yes, they did find them.

In Sydney, I think they managed to get to Sydney. Yeah, from the Gold Coast. Yeah. So they were found. Now, this team thought we'll go as the Cameroon missing athletes. So on they donned their wigs, some Afro wigs, some beaded dread wigs. Then they put on a T-shirt with the Cameroon flag on it and acquired themselves some headbands of the green, red and yellow colour persuasion.

Then they put what looks to be black face paint all over their faces. Okay. Known as black facing. Where was this? Tuesday, last Tuesday. In Auckland. In Auckland. This is where the conference was.

Yeah. Everybody knows that's not a good idea. Everybody knows that's not a good idea. Yeah, I don't feel like we need to spell that out. So apparently some other people there did say, hey, that's inappropriate. Right. Oh, good.

They shouldn't be here. But not before they had a whole lot of photos taken and they were involved in the video that has since been taken on Facebook. I don't know if they were actually in the video that got put on the official Facebook page or not. I'm not sure where the video got put. If you were running that event as like someone senior in Harcourt's, wouldn't you tap them on the shoulder and be like,

go home and please wash your face? Hey, that's inappropriate. Just wear a t-shirt that says Cameroon. Yeah, yeah. MIA or something. But anyway, apparently they had no intention to offend and were responsive to other conference attendees' concerns and did leave.

It doesn't really matter what your intention is anymore, does it? No. So today's top six, the top six less offensive things the Harcourt team that Blackface could have dressed up as, but still six things you should probably avoid dressing up as at a work conference. And bear this in mind for Halloween. Yes. Number six, a homeless person.

They're already doing it rough. They don't need you thinking their situation is hilarious dress-ups because you went to Save Mart and got an old suit that somebody's grandad died in. It's not nice, but it's not as bad as Blackface. True. It's not. Number five on the list of the top six less offensive things they could have dressed up as, but also six things you should probably not go to a work conference dressed as,

terrorist attack victims or accidents. 9-11 dress-ups, anybody? No, still too soon. Yeah. Number four on the list, sexy cultural stereotypes. Dressing up as a sexy squaw or a spicy Latino can be offensive if you're a basic white bitch because somebody's culture isn't your costume. But if you're hot, you'll probably get away with it. But I tell you what, you're not too hot to get away with.

Blackface. Yeah. It's not okay. Has anybody watched that Netflix documentary about that Rachel woman? Yes. Do you remember that woman that said, I'm African American. Rachel Dalziel. No, no, no.

That's Leanne Dalziel. Oh, Rachel Dalziel. And is it good? Is it worth watching? Yeah, it is. It's so baffling. Her point of view is so... She pretended to be an African American woman.

No, she believes. Oh, right. Inside, she believes she's meant to be African American. But no, they looked into her heritage and she's... She's white. She, she believes. Oh, right. Inside, she believes she's meant to be African American. But no, they looked into her heritage and she's white. She's white bred. No seeds like me. No seeds. No neat nuts. No seeds. You're a home brand

dollar loaf. No multigrain. Yeah, no, I'm as white as it comes. Leave me on the beach for too long. I'll go crusty around the edges. Megan, you'd be what's that white bred with the poppy seeds on the top Country style Why have I got poppy seeds Oh I don't want to be country style

I just want to be You know I just want to be I just want to be a McKenzie loaf Big delicious McKenzie loaf Yeah I'm a Vogels You are not I'm not a Vogels I'm a Vogels

You are not I'm a Bergen You're not a Bergen No you're not a Bergen You're not a Bergen Megan and I can argue about what we are, but you're definitely a dollar low. You're tip top white toast. I'm 8% Spanish.

And you love a little white bun. Big fan of a little white bun you are. Number three on the list of the top six less offensive things they could have dressed up as, but still six things you shouldn't go to any work conference as. Recently to see celebrity highlighting their cause of death. Multiple examples I could use here. Won't, though. Some wildly offensive, but as offensive as blackface?

No. On a whole not? Number two on the list, the Ku Klux Klan. It's offensive, but is it blackface offensive? Oh, it's pretty up there. I guess it depends if it's ironic or out of admiration, but it's up there. And the number one thing that is less offensive

than what the Harcourt's team that blackface could have dressed up as, but still six things you should definitely avoid dressing up as in public. Nazis. I mean, if Prince Harry can do it and we all still love him and he marries a total hottie, can real estate agents? No, probably not. But do it and we all still love him and he marries a total hottie, can real estate agents? No, probably not. But is it blackface offensive? It's up there.

It's up there. That's today's top six. We want to know if you've ever awkwardly bumped into someone that you know. Internania at the weekend. This was celebrating your anniversary, wasn't it? Yeah, we popped down to the Coromandel for a couple of nights and decided to get a lovely massage. Was this from the boyfriend?

Was this a couple's massage? No, no, no. He's not about the massage life. He just sent me. Does he not like massages? No, not a fan. Never quite know why people don't like a good massage. Like stranger rubbing your body?

Yeah. It seems weird when you think about it. They're professionals. No, but still, not everyone's into it. I think with his like rural farming Waikato background, it's just a bit, it's a bit kind of like snarling. Oh, don't say that all farmers don't love massages. Does Ian love a massage? He loves a massage.

See, he's a dairy farmer. That's true. That's true. Yeah, so he got me a voucher, which was very nice, and showed up and it was all going swimmingly until I got into the wee massage room and

realised that the masseuse also went to my high school. You went to school with her? Yeah. Yeah, that's a bit unusual. Were you, like, friends? No, I think we did, like, drama and dancing sort of together.

Like, I wouldn't say we were best mates, but we both, no, neither of us really acknowledged it. We were both kind of like, oh, hey. Oh, my God. Because she's going to have to see you in a semi-state of undress and then touch you. Yeah, yeah. So the next sort of... Was it a burby massage?

It wasn't a burby massage, but there was a bit of booty in the massage. Did she do that thing where they move your undies up into your crack? And then rub your butter wee bit? No, because it is different when you don't know them, right? Because I've never had

a massage. You've had a massage from your mother-in-law. Yeah. We've talked about this. You don't find this weird. No. Does she do the undies? She doesn't do the undies. Doesn't do the undies up the butt crack.

Does she massage like top of your leg though? Like butt? Yeah. I don't know. That's weird. That's weird. It's not getting a massage, but saying stay below the knee and above the waist.

It's not a high school skirt rule. She's very highly trained, isn't she? Very good. So, I mean, you're probably not going to turn that down. It's good. There's hot stones. Oh, hot stones. Hot stones.

Yeah. That's a queen. And some various sandalwood oils. You've got all your oils. Oh, okay. I don't know. I don't find that weird. Right.

She's rubbing you. Maybe that's least weird than someone you went to school with. I don't know. It's pretty weird. I'd forgotten about that, but no. I haven't had one for a while, actually. I should look into that.

I think we're going down there this long weekend. Oh, yeah. Prepare the massage, Yurt Robin. I'm inbound and I need a rub. There's a yurt. So did you make awkward conversation while the massage was happening? There was a bit of like, Oz, how long you been working here for?

And then I kind of was like, no, we'll just get past it and sort of gave quite short answers. I was like, no, I'll just focus on getting in the massage zone. Yeah, you don't talk to your masseuse. You don't try to bridge the awkwardness with light chat. But then she comes in and says, how's your pressure? I was like, oh, please stop.

It's all right. Don't talk to me. Yep, he's right. Yep, yep, yep. Let's get this show on the road. You just wouldn't be able to relax. How was the pressure? I always feel bad correcting them, even if it's a bit too hard.

I'm like, it's fine. It's fine. It's okay! You keep going, you keep doing that. We want to ask the question now, when you've awkwardly bumped into someone you know, and you're in one of those situations, because what if you went to school with someone, or what if you're

friends with someone, and then you turn up to your gynecologist appointment, and they're the doctor? Oh, I'd put my legs down and be like, sorry. Not today, Gerald. I don't know why Gerald is. I thought it was like, sorry. Not today, Gerald. Gerald? I don't know why Gerald is. I thought it was like Gerald you went to school with.

No. Surely you'd have to say something. Like, isn't that like a thing? Like, I don't know. I went to school with him. I don't need him seeing my bits. Oh, yeah. You'll be seeing Dr. Gerald Thomas tomorrow.

You'll have to find out where to school with Gerald Thomas. You get in there. Gerald's like, Megan, long time no see. All right, partner, jump up there. Spread them and raise them. Just relax. I can't. I don't know.

I just want to know about those awkward situations that you've found yourself in with someone that, you know, it doesn't have to be like taking your clothes off in a massage. Oh, I was going to say taking your clothes off. We were at a stag do and one of my mate's ex-girlfriends came in as the entertainment of sorts. Really? That was pretty funny. Oh, no.

Awkward for him. Funny for us. Funny for you. So 0800-DARCYDEM, text us now as well, 9696. Where did you find yourself awkwardly in a situation with someone that you knew? If you want to know where you've awkwardly bumped into somebody that you know, Anya at the weekend was partially dressed,

bumped into someone she went to school with, and that someone was giving her a massage. A massage. A masseuse. So we want to know where it's happened to you. It'd be awkward. I wouldn't have done it. I would have just been like, I'm out.

Someone said, I'm an early childhood educator. I went to get my legs and bikini line waxed and it was a mum from Placenta was the person doing it. Very awkward. Because they see everything Megan, don't they? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's like, that's full spread. Make up.

Sorry, but I just couldn't do that. Wow. I need a non-aminity. Anaminity. Anaminity. Whatever it is. It is. Lisa, when did you awkwardly run into somebody that you knew? It was quite a while

after I'd left school but this girl that we'd had a bit of a feud over a boy back in the day. Okay. And I went and booked a hairdressing appointment and walked in

and she was going to be the stylist. No. She could have gone... Did you go through with it? Yes, yes. Everything went okay, thankfully. I guess she didn't want to lose her job. And you didn't want to lose your hair?

Yeah. That would have been the ultimate payback. Whoops. Oh my God, I've just cut off your fringe. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. To number three. Thanks, you're cool, Lisa. Sam, when did you awkward've just cut off your fringe. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. To number three. Thanks, you call Lisa.

Sam, when did you awkwardly run into somebody that you know? Well, when I met him, didn't know him. He was a doctor. I was getting a physical done, so he cut my nuts and made me cough, put his finger up my bum, and that was all fine. Okay. Yeah, well, it's important to get checked, isn't it? Only by official medical professionals, though.

Trust me, I've fallen for that more than once. Oh, yeah, no, he was a doctor. Okay, good, good, good. Because Vaughan went to that van that time in the Nally. Free check-ups. Free? Perfect. It's free lollies, too.

I went out. So later on, I went to my mate's house for dinner and it was a big family dinner and sat down at the table and across the table from me was the doctor. Oh, no. Correct. And it's saying, okay. So, you know, you're saying pass the peas,

but don't use poo finger. I'm sure he washed his finger. Oh, yeah, I'm sure he hit the glove. He's a doctor, he understands the importance of hygiene, I'm sure of washed his finger. Oh, yeah, I'm sure he hit the glove. He's a doctor. He understands the importance of hygiene. I'm sure of it. Thanks, you're cool, Sam. Josh, when did you awkwardly run into someone you know?

I was out for dinner with my parents at a restaurant, and the waitress came over to take the order, and I recognised her, but I didn't know where from. Yeah. And then we're kind of looking at each other and then I realised that I'd drawn her in a life drawing class at design school. Oh, no. Yeah.

Wow, so you probably had a charcoal sketch at home in your folder. Yeah, well, a few. A few of them. A few, yeah, right. You look familiar, but not in that colour. So, probably more awkward for her, though, Josh. Probably, although

I was about to, you know, ask where do I know you from, but then... I don't think it would be awkward for her. I don't think the people that sign up for life drawing tend to get awkward. And you might recognise her, but she probably wouldn't recognise you. Because you're staring at her and she's just...

You're just a face in a sea of people looking at her naked bits. Alright, thanks you go Josh. I tell you what the most common text message is. People who have gone in for a wax. Really? And come face to face with someone they went to school with. Because you'd book and you'd just turn up

and then you're there. You can't leave. You can't escape. Once you've walked in the front door of the waxer. Yeah. Somebody said, my dad is gay. And when I was 11, I was desperate to get my legs waxed, as all preteens do. Yeah.

So keen to get it started. Now I wish I never had. So I went to get my first waxing experience. Got the legs and underarms done. Had a lovely man assist me. And then I later on found out that was Dad's boyfriend When he came round to the house he was like Oh it's good to see you again And kind of let the cat out of the bag to Dad

That I'd snuck in and got a wax Dropped you in it One of the many perils of having a gay dad Would you let a gay waxer do a Brazilian, Megan? Yeah. Why not? Why wouldn't you? Well, no, but if you didn't know that he was gay.

Because he could be a heterosexual going undercover to try and see some vaginas. No, I don't think that would be a great idea as a heterosexual male to see vaginas in such a capacity. It's not on their best I'd just up your game. Like? Try to get some better chat. Guys, I'm not having any luck do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to become a beauty therapist and I'm going to see

the best and the worst that the good Lord has put on earth. F.E.M. This was huge over the weekend. Huge weekend for the Republic of Ireland. So they were voting to repeal the Eighth Amendment. They had a referendum like we did for the flag that time. Do you remember?

Yep. This is much more important than that. Yeah. Yeah. So basically the Eighth Amendment was a constitutional ban on abortion. So women from the Republic of Ireland and still Northern Ireland would go to Britain if they felt they needed to have an abortion

because no one would do it. There was just an outright ban. I believe if you wanted an abortion in Ireland, you had to go to England. London. London, somewhere that you could get it done. And that was even cases of, like, say, for example,

rape or incest. There was no exception. You just couldn't get an abortion. Yeah. So it was close to, it was 60-40 around four years. Yeah, it was two to one, two to one.

Yeah, for a referendum. Overwhelming, yes. So the Irish Prime Minister has now said a new abortion law will be in place by the end of the year. That means the legislation will allow abortions during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy and up to the 24th week for certain circumstances. Yeah, extreme circumstances. Do you know when this goes through, they will have more progressive abortion laws in New Zealand. Because, you know, we're pretty progressive.

That's crazy. First to give women the vote. You know, gay marriage, we're ahead of most countries. So, in New Zealand at the moment, you've got to be, you've got to have two physicians or certifying consultants. Yep, was the wording I found before.

To say that this pregnancy is going to put you at risk physically or mental health risk. Yeah, there's a few hoops to jump through in New Zealand before. And I don't think it should just be played fast and loose. There needs to be the chat and everything about it. But yeah, it should be accessible. And people trying to control how other people control their bodies

have always blown my mind like some of the old irish people who are anti it primarily just kept saying stuff about religion i was like okay put that aside give me a reason and the men the no voters they talk to they're just like so angry and upset it's like well let's let a woman decide yeah yeah it's not your body yeah their champ but that's the That is the most upsetting thing to see, like, lots of older men being like, no, no. I know. It's not your body. It's not something that you have to go through.

There were women flying home, women and men, flying home to Ireland to vote at the weekend for this. There were news crews, photos. Because it's so important. Just, yeah, people flying home just to vote. So this is the Republic for this. There were news crews, photos. Because it's so important. Just, yeah, people flying home just to vote. So this is the Republic of Ireland. Northern Ireland still,

no way. I was about to say Northern Ireland will become, once this law is put in place, will become the only part of the UK and Ireland with almost a blanket ban. So all the signs are saying,

well, the North is next. Wow. Whether they will vote yes. I mean, fingers crossed. And I think we're meant to have either a referendum or a vote in Parliament. A bit of an update. Yeah. I was like, Helen Clark's tweeted saying, we don't really need a referendum.

It's just a lot of money. It's a lot of money. Yeah. It's just changing the wording of it and modernising it and making it, you know, easier for all involved to not be burdened with a whole lot of guilt and stress and everything before having to go through something that I imagine is pretty traumatic as it is. Well, Aunty Helen said it, so make it happen.

Exactly. Aunty has spoken. FBM. Well, it was date night on Saturday night for Caitlin. She went on a... Oh, was that what I was not supposed to say? Born. No, I thought you were saying...

She literally just said... No, but then the story we're about to say is that the advice came post-date. You didn't have to say it came post-date. You could have just said it came in. Then it would be weird that she was having this conversation if it wasn't on the way home from a date. I was thinking about meeting Megan because I probably wouldn't have brought it up. But, yeah. It's too cute of a story not to.

And yes, I went on a date on Saturday night and no one needs to know anything else. How did it go? No, we're not going to talk about it, Warren. She enjoyed her time on the date. Oh, doesn't sound like it. No, I'm just trying to shut this down. Now, you shared this advice that you got

on the way back home from your date. Yeah. And we thought this advice is so great, we have to share it. You've got to share it with the public. Like, this is almost a situation where I want to get back in touch with him and say, hey, will you be my mentor? My love mentor.

No, so I got into an Uber to go to this date because I just didn't know how many drinks I'd be having. It's very responsible. And his name was Jeff and he was really chatty. The Uber driver. Yeah. And I was in a chatty mood.

Like, you know, sometimes you're just like, oh. Yeah. Oh, right between the lines. Someone had a few drinks. Had you had some pre? No. Was this on the way to the date? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Had you had a wine? No, I had a... Oh, really? It was four o'clock in the afternoon a wine? No, I had a... Oh, really? It was four o'clock in the afternoon. I was like, I can't pre-drink those. That's wine time. Hello.

Good weekend. Yeah, so I got in and I was obviously nervous. I was like chatting away and stuff. So he found out where I was from and, you know, and he was like, so what's on the cast? And I was like, oh, well, I'm actually going on a first date. He was like, this is great. And he just said, look, he's like,

oh, I'm probably going to sound a bit like your dad here, but you just, you want him to treat you like a lady. Like he needs to be a gentleman. And don't forget, Caitlin, you've got to let him do the chasing. Let him chase. Don't message him the next day. Don't, you know, don't come in too hot,

but you've just got to let him do the chasing and just make sure that he is a gentleman to you. And he's like, the other thing as well, he's like, now I'm broken up from my wife.

Okay. But, you've got to make sure that you're best friends. Aww. Because he's like, we're still best friends. Aww.

And just like, the love ended or whatever but you've just got to make sure you're best friends because then you can just talk about anything. He's like, now you're from Fairleast, so you're probably going to want to talk about some, you know, like rural stuff. You're going to want a nice rural man.

And hopefully he's like that and going on. And then as we're getting closer to the day, he's like, Caitlin, there's a rainbow. He's like, this is good news. There's going to be a pot of gold at the end of it. Look, it's coming up to where we are Yes, Caitlin, we find ourselves between sun and rain And it's caused this rainbow

Which means nothing more than light is refracting off bits of water But I mean, heck, definitely, love's on the way I felt like it was a sign But anyway, it was like so cute And he was like, you're getting nervous now, aren't you? He's like, it's okay. Just breathe. Breathe, Jeff.

This guy is so mean. It was solid advice from Uber, Jeff. Yeah. Well, the best part was when I got out, he's like, I'm just going to turn around the corner so you can walk back up. So you've got some time to just have a breath. And he's like, okay, so I'll just pull in here. And then I was like, thanks, Jeff.

And I got out. And then he wound down the window. He was like, Caitlin. I was like, turn back. Yes, Jeff. Yes, Jeff. And I got out and then he wound down the window and was like, Caitlin. I was like, turn back to us. Yes, Jeff. Yes, Jeff. It's his loss if he doesn't fall head over heels for you. Oh, my God.

Over Jeff? Yeah. I was like, Jeff. Over Jeff. Thanks, Jeff. Did you give him five stars? Got me the feels. Oh, my God.

I forgot to give him five stars. You didn't review over Jeff? Oh, no. You can go back in to trips. Go back. Go back on trips. Oh, shivers. I forgot to give him five stars. You didn't review Uber, Jeff? Oh, no. You can go back in to trips. Go back. Go back on trips. Oh, shivers. Okay.

Unbelievable. And then, you know, if you rate an Uber, you can pick what they're... Don't comment. Yeah, yeah. You can pick an area. Great conversation. Truly inspiring. No, don't fall in love with Uber, Jeff.

How old was Uber, Jeff? Oh, I don't know. You can't... Like, older. Like a dad. Okay. Like, he had Like a dad. Okay. Like he had grandchildren. Right.

Okay. But you're into your daddies. And this guy's got his own car, so... No, you've got to let Uber Jeff do the chasing. No, no. It's creepy if Uber Jeff does the chasing. True. Uber Jeff will not get good marks if he does the chasing.

Yeah, yeah. Uber drivers end up in the news when they do the chasing, Megan. But that was like the highlight of my night. It was so good. Good advice. So that means the date didn't go well. That was solid advice from Jeff. Yeah.

I'll always talk to Uber drivers now. You never know what they've got to say. Some guys like to be chased, don't they? No? Okay. That's so annoying having to do the chasing. No, but you don't have to do the chasing. No, I know, but then if they don't message you back, you're like, hello?

No, I'm just kidding. I don't do that at all. Hello, hello, text me back. What's happened to you? Are you dead? Oh my God, you're dead. I'll just assume you're dead. I'll put your death notice in the paper

unless you answer me that freaks mums out, trust me I've done it before Fletch, Vaughn and Megan the podcast special guest waiting literally in the wings just outside this door that has something to do with me being stupid well no, no one said stupid

you said because I don't know some things yeah you said the S word. You've got a long-running history. We definitely did not say the S word. Would never say that. At all. Would never say that. My mum said to tell you that I'm street smart.

She's like, I'm sick of them giving you shit. Not book smart, street smart. Well, how street smart and how smart? Are you ready? Yeah. For your special surprise? Okay. It's making smarter than a nine-year-old.

Okay. Great. Yay! And let's bring in our nine-year-old. Yay! Hello. Oh, I'm so embarrassed already. Good morning.

Morning. Hi, morning. Morning. Hi, Jake. Hi. Now, Jake, you are nine. Yes. What year are you at school? Four. Fourth year.

Fourth year. Megan, what year did you make it to at school? The end. I'm not sure what year. Thirteen. Thirteen. Do you want to say tarantula? No, I don't.

Do you know how to say tarantula, Jake? Yes, tarantula. There you go. You say it, Megan. Tarantula. I almost feel like that's Jake's first point. Yeah. No, it doesn't count.

So we've got some rounds, some questions. You've got a buzzer in front of you, Megan. Okay. Jake, you've got a buzzer as well. When you know the answer, slam the buzzer. Ain't an answer. Okay. Okay.

So we're going to start with maths. Do you like maths? Yes. Are you kidding? This isn't fear. This is just what nine-year-olds know. You know I don't know maths. This is where I ask teachers of upper, you know, primary,

and this is what they said were some good questions. You're doing maths already, Jake. Yes. It's been there for four years, Megan. This is his fourth year. Of course he's doing maths. All right. 14 plus what equals 38?

Megan is currently counting on her fingers. No, I don't know. I've already lost count on my fingers. Jake, no. Jake's pushed his buzzer. Jake, what's the answer? 24. Yes, correct.

Yes! Okay. I told you I don't know maths. Buzz in. You know I don't know anything to do with maths. What is 9 times 5? Jake? 45.

45 is correct, yes. I got that. I just had to count on my fingers. Well, you didn't buzz in, though, did you? No, because I was counting. Okay just had to count on my fingers. Well, you didn't buzz in though, did you? No, because I was counting. Okay, another maths question. Seven times 11.

77. Oh, no, I know that. The 11s. No, because the 11s, you go 33, 44. The 11s, and they looked nice, didn't they, the 11s? I knew that. I know the 11s, the 10s and the 0s. Okay, moving on to science. Name eight periodic elements.

Any eight. Jake. Hydrogen, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminium, silicon for frostbite. Okay, that's 20. That's 20. Nice work. I guess this is still in the field of science.

Next question. Which of these Is not a mammal A pig A seal Or a parrot Jake Parrot

Correct Yes That's not fair Because you put that In there Because I don't know And you started with mess Well I thought you would have

Learned I don't know I thought you would have Learned That's general No one's given me A definitive like List Of what is and what isn't.

We told you the criteria. We told you last week. Yeah, but there's lots of different. Warm-blooded vertebrates that give birth to live animals. I don't know if it's got warm blood. How do you know if it's got warm blood? I taste it, I guess. Straight from the source.

I guess so. Well, I guess that answers the question. Yeah, it does. Is Megan smarter than a nine-year-old? Did I get one? No. No. Why? Did I get one? No. No. Why didn't you get one?

Well, technically, I got my five times table, but I just didn't answer in time. No, you know, quiz works. It's a game of pace. Right.

You don't see the contestants on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire coming back and saying, oh, I've got the answer now. Give me more time. I've pondered on it for years. I've been to many libraries and I believe

I have the correct answer How do you feel with your win, Jake? I don't know Do you feel happy? Overwhelmed? I don't think he feels like he was really challenged It was a whitewash Did you expect Megan to know a few more answers?

Yes Oh, shade I'm not at school at the moment, you are So, whatever I need a refresher Of school? Yeah I don't know if that'll help

Jake, thanks so much for playing, mate Bye So, a Brazilian footballer He's famous Ronaldinho Not Ronaldo. Not Cristiano. James, can you say it for Megan again?

Ronaldinho. Yeah, that's it. That's the one. The Dean in there. He's not the hot one with Ronaldo. That's not Cristiano Ronaldo. He's not bad looking, but he's not Cristiano Ronaldo. No, he's not that one. But he's well known. He's a famous footballer. No. Yeah, he's not bad looking, but he's not Cristiano Ronaldo. No, he's not that one.

But he's well known. He's a famous footballer. Yeah, Brazilian. He is in the news. Because he is going to marry his two partners in a ceremony in his mansion. But not legally married, right? No, so in Brazil, bigamy is illegal with a sentence up to six years in prison if you get caught. Right.

So that's marrying more than one person at once. Right. So that's marrying more than one person at once. Right. So it's likely that this would just be like a ceremony and they're not going to be registered as two marriages. Right. But the two women know about each other. So he started dating Beatrice in 2016, but he already had a girlfriend, which started years earlier.

Okay. And they were both going strong. Yep. So when he goes away, it's reported that he brings back the same presents. So he'd buy perfume and give them the same. Be like, I got two. My parents used to go on trips and bring back my brother

and I the same gifts. Except you. I always thought it felt a, it showed a lack of thought. Also, it reeks of a two-for-one special. Yeah. A lot of the time. And nobody wants to feel like you're getting a gift that's been a two-for-one discounted special.

No, no. And they receive an allowance of £1,500. Actually, I don't know, it doesn't say if it's a week or if that's, that'd be a week, right? A week or a month, surely. Because, yeah, I was wondering what was in it for them, but they get an allowance. That's like $3,000 a week, New Zealand. You'd put up with another girlfriend or boyfriend

for an allowance, right? Yep. Sure. Immediately, yes, I would. Yeah. Sure. But this isn't, like, shocking, because what do you call it?

Is it... Polygamy. Polygamy, yeah. Because when you said bigamy. Bigamy is just marrying two people. No, polygamy is being married to more than one person. Bigamy is the offence of marrying someone while already married to another person. Right.

Well, that's confusing. Yeah. Okay. So polygamy is the act of it and bigamy is the offence of it. Right. It's kind of hard to grasp the difference there. Okay. So if this guy's kind of getting away with it,

I wanted to know if anyone's been in a relationship with more than one person at once. Do they have to know about each other, do we think? No, not at all. Well, you do hear about this. Like someone might be with someone and they meet someone else or they just meet two people at the same time. Like they could end up single.

They just jump on Tinder or an app. And then all of a sudden they start talking to, you know, because you're always juggling a couple. That's about early days. And then some people are like, well, I genuinely have feelings for both of them. And then what are you going to do? Do you think we would find anybody that has been in...

Yes, I don't even need any of the other sentence because whenever we say no, we always do it. No, like I know that we'd easily find someone listening that's been in two relationships at once. All right, juggling.

Juggling, sure. Where you're like, you know, with these people. Yeah. Whether or not they know about each other, but would there be any more than two? Like, is there anybody listening that's been in three relationships at once?

Imagine if somebody had two people that they were relationshiping, and those people were kind of cool with it. Yeah. They're like, okay, that's just that. It's how it is. And then he gets a third that he, he or she,

doesn't have to be a he, but probably. Yeah. He gets a third that he keeps secret from both of them. Gary, what did happen? I don't know if we'll get any more than three, but two I could see happening because that's an accident, right?

Or it's like, it's an accident. Is that what you say, is it? I don't know. Is that what's happened to you when one busts you with the other? You're like, hey, accidents happen. I didn't mean to fall for two people. Forget about it. I didn't mean to fall for two people at once about it. I didn't mean to fall for two people at once.

It just happened. This thing's an accident. Now, can't we all just get along? All right, well. Let's try it then. Let's take some calls. 0800 DARS at M. You can text 9696.

How many relationships have you been in at once? And you know what happened? They can know about it or they might not know about it. And maybe there was a story When everybody found out about it Well maybe you were in like two And everybody's cool with it Yeah true

Okay 0800 Dial ZM You can text 9696 F Z M Apparently marrying

Two girlfriends Although it's not legal To do that In Brazil It's more of a An arrangement they've got. Just having a ceremony. But they know about each other.

We want to know from you how many relationships you've been in at once. Or you've maybe been going out with someone and then found out that you were just one of many. There were others. And can we beat two? Easy. Yep. Easy. Some text messages in

My brother who was doing FIFO work That's fly in fly out Oh okay Yep Yep Work He had

He was engaged to a woman In the States He had another girlfriend In Perth And his girlfriend Was living with him In Singapore Wow

So That's three Wow And they had not That's a lot of effort. Do you have different phones? Like, yeah. Like, yeah, would you need different phones?

You keep track of yourself. Like, you carry on a conversation and be like, oh, no, that was with my girlfriend in Singapore. And then you'd be like, who's this girl on Facebook? Yeah. I don't know. How would you be, please, you just wouldn't have Facebook. It would get you in trouble. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't.

No way. You'd just go without. How did they get away with it? Don't know. have Facebook. It would get you in trouble. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't. No way. How did they get away with it? Don't know. And so they had no idea about each other? No. Well, that's upsetting for the one that he's engaged to, especially. Somebody said I was dating two guys, both named Scott.

Okay. That makes it easier. Yeah. They didn't know about each other until I sent a text to the wrong Scott. I guess you could say you Scott the wrong one. You Scott the wrong Scott. Yeah. I like that.

That tickled me. And then I got the him or me speech. I'm now married, one daughter and a baby on the way to the Scott I sent the wrong text to. So is that the Scott that gave her the ultimatum? Yeah, it was. I guess you could say he Scott down on one knee. Woo!

And she ended up with the right one. Oh no, Scott the right one. Scott, more of these. Woo! Scott's listening like, God, I've heard this before. Yeah. I have heard this before.

At least I didn't say Scott no, mate. That really hurts Scott's feelings. Very true. Emily, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. Now you were one of many girlfriends. I know that really hurts Scott's feelings. Very true. Emily, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. Now you were one of many girlfriends. I was. I was one of 14 girlfriends. What? In Gloria

Vale? Like where was this happening? In Auckland. Did you know about the other 13? I started to have some suspicions towards the end. I found out that he had about four cell phones. And I thought of my suspicions, I ended up breaking it off. Because, yeah, and then I found out there was 13 more of us.

We used to have like a day of the week allocated. So I would have every second Wednesday for a date. But what if you wanted to have a Friday? Like, go out on a Friday? That wasn't a choice. He was always very busy. Wow. It all adds up, doesn't it?

So how did you find out they were 13? Did he tell you? Yeah, he told me when I broke up with him. He said, well, you're just one of 13. Wow. What did you do after that? But then he's like a big old liar. He's a big, he's a big old liar.

So maybe they weren't 13. Maybe he was just trying to. Maybe he was just trying to sound like the man. But I definitely know there was more than one of us. So. Wow. I think for me, 13, I, it could literally have been. Yeah.

Was it more of the friends with benefits or were you under the impression that it was like, we are going out? Well, it changed from week to week. Sometimes we were like, you know, dating. Sometimes we were just friends with benefits. It sort of changed all the time. Right. Was he just like doing a mass like reality TV show kind of bachelor kind of?

Well, in his head. In his head, yeah. I think it was in his head. I don't think that, you know, he was all there. Except it differed from the bachelor because he wasn't sending one home every week. He was just plying until they left. Yeah, I think he was just plying

until we all sort of found out about each other. Wow, that's incredible. Emily, thanks for your call. An anonymous caller now. Good morning. Anonymous. We can't say your name because we don't know your name. Anonymous. They may have gone your name because we don't know your name. Anonymous.

They may have gone. It was a fairly juicy yarn. Just maybe see there if they've dropped off. I think James and I, they've dropped off. Okay, that sounded juicy. Four sugar daddies on the go. Very juicy, very sweet. Wait, they have four?

Yeah. I guess you could say she scoped them all. I don't know. It doesn't work. One of them may have been called Scott. Yeah. I guess you could say he Scott more than he bargained for. I don't know if you could say that.

No, I stuck on the Scott thing. Some text messages in on it. I met two guys on Tinder at the same time. I was dating both. It was bloody exhausting. But again, accidents happen. These things do happen.

That's what I'm saying. One guy knew about the other, but the other guy didn't know about the original guy that did know about him. Now, that's a little confusing. And then I made the decision to just date one of them after a month. I hadn't been sleeping with either of them.

Okay. So it was purely dating. Okay. It's been about a year and a half now, but I don't think things are going to work out. Oh. Oh, you need to go back. She didn't score what she wanted. No.

No, that's skit what she wanted. She needs to find the other guy. He could be the one. There's a guy out there called Skit listening, and he's like, damn it. I don't want any part of this. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, the most I ever juggled in my youth was five. Exhausting.

I don't know how anyone can hold down an actual job while dealing with five partners. It's insane. Yeah. Somebody else said, my ex-partner was dating three people at the same time throughout the last year of our relationship. I had no idea until I was approached by one of them outside a coffee shop

two weeks before Christmas, and then together we did our detective work to find out about a third. Oh, I love it when there's a teaming up. It's like a movie. Yeah, it is like a movie. Where they team up. I'm a girl. I have two guys, one in Auckland, one in Wellington.

They don't know about each other. I spend a lot of I have two guys, one in Auckland, one in Wellington. They don't know about each other. I spend a lot of time in each city, but they don't ever cross over. But you couldn't have them on Facebook, could you? No. These people just go without. Must do. But that's always a red flag when someone's like, I don't have Facebook or Instagram. Why?

What are you hiding? I need to see all aspects of your life at all times. Yeah. Somebody said this is the final text message. I once dated two girls at once. Yep. I decided to introduce them to each other. Yep.

This is a guy. Introduce them to each other. I know where this is going. I think I know where this is going. They got on, like a house on fire, and then before I knew it, I was left out of... Yep, that's what I thought. I was left out of the good times. Tread lightly.

Yeah, well, exactly. Now he's got no girlfriends. Yay! Good from you. There it is. All right. Fact of the Day that Auckland this Thursday,

the 31st of May, will be the very first of our $1,000 Fact of the Day pub quiz. Yep. Zzzz. Zzzz. At the Empire, Victoria Street, Auckland Central. So if you can get a team together after work on Thursday, 5.30 or after uni, whatever,

we're going to start the quiz at six. Bar tabs up for grabs across the night and $1,000 for the winning team. If you want to register, send him online. Today's fact of the day has to do with drinking. Psychology researchers from the University of Missouri at Columbia have published a study called Addiction Research and Theory

and they looked into a whole bunch of different problems with addiction of all sorts but one of the things they found out when they studied alcohol was that there are four types of drunks of drinkers, I shouldn't say drunks, four types

of drinkers and they named them all after famous literary figures that are represented. Okay. So the first and the largest, equaling about 40% of the group that they studied are the Ernest Hemingways. Okay. Now, he was a writer and he loved to drink. Okay. And he said he could drink any amount.

To directly quote him, I could drink hells any amount of whiskey without getting drunk. Okay. And that is basically what this big group does. They drink and you don't notice any major changes in their personality. Really? They just stay themselves but maybe just get a little bit sloppier. But there's no major personality changes. So's about 40 of the group then there's the mary poppins drinkers uh who are they're already outgoing but they get sweeter and they get happier

and they're like that's me everyone likes to think they're a mary poppins megan do you think that i would be there you are a little bit of a... He does. He gives her like... Sade, my wife, says, you know when Fletch is drunk because he will either go, meow, or...

I'm so cute. I'm so cute. Yeah. Who thinks I'm cute is one of Fletch's famous drinking wives. But it's undeniably true. Yeah. Okay, so I'm a Mary Poppins.

So I think you're a Mary Poppins. I think you're a Mary Poppins. I think you're a Mary Poppins. They're already outgoing, but they get sweeter and they get happier. And then there's the Nutty Professors. This is Megan. Remember that time she got drunk and she ran away? Oh, no, no. We're not up to Megan.

Oh, I'm with you. What are you? Do you know what you are? Are you a Nutty Professor? I think I'm an Ernest Hemingway, to be honest. Okay, yeah. I don't really change. People are like, I was like, oh, that was a big night.

People are like, were you drunk? I was like, yeah. Yeah, actually, you are a bit like that. Yeah. Okay. So what's the nutty professor? So the nutty professor is named after Eddie Murphy's character in the movie The Nutty Professor.

Yeah. So they're natural introverts who, when they get a bit of drink in them, just shed their inhibitions and they get a flashier, more social side to them. Yeah, like you see those people at work functions or drinks and they get a bit drunk and then all of a sudden you're like, you are not like this at work. No, you've become very outgoing. And lastly, there are the Mr. Hides,

the evil twin drinkers. No, that's not me. They become particularly less responsible, less intellectual and more hostile under the influence of alcohol. No, that's not me! They become particularly less responsible, less intellectual and more hostile under the influence of alcohol. No, that is kind of me. But you don't get aggressive. No, but I get way less, because

I'm very responsible usually. And then I just like to leave all my stuff behind, like shoes and clothes and hair bags. So there's four types to run through them again. The Hemingways. The Hemingways.

Look, I've had a couple of drinks. And you wouldn't notice because I'm a Hemingway. So who don't exhibit any major changes in personality. The Mary Poppins, who gets sweeter and happier and more la-di-da. The Nutty Professors, who change from natural introverts to a more fresh and more la-di-da. The nutty professors who change from natural introverts to a more fresh and more social side. And what is happening out there? Video producer, Anya, is doing makeup during the show.

What are you doing? I thought that was a reflection off the window, but you've got, like, white splotches all over your face. I'm multitasking. What are you doing makeup for now? The work day's almost over. But everyone's just coming into the office. I just went to the loo before and I was like,

oh, look at this rubbish. You meant to be editing videos. Yeah, I'm doing it with one hand. Very talented. Why do you millennials have a poor work ethic? Why do you want to look better for everyone else? We've seen you all morning. Oh, no, that's fine.

That's not what I'm concerned about. Don't let anybody walk in now. You look, that's fine. That's not what I'm concerned about. Well, don't let anybody walk in now. You'd look very inappropriate. Appropriate? You've painted yourself up as a war chief. You just finish your job, thanks. So there's the nutty professors

who become very outgoing and more social, and then there's the Mr. Hydes, the evil twin drinkers. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So I found an article at the weekend. Because, you know, everyone says learn to drive in a manual. Yeah. And then if you ever need to, because most people. Yeah. And then if you ever need to,

cause most people have automatics, but if you ever need to drive in one, you can always, you know, fall back on your skills when you learn. Your acquired skills. I haven't driven a manual for ages. Have you?

Um, yeah, I've driven one semi recently, but it is, it is weird. My car's a manual. I always drive manuals. I find it weird. It's difficult in bigger. I always drive manuals. That's weird.

It's difficult in bigger cities because you're like, stop, start, stop, start, clutch, and clutch, and that's a pain in the bum. The main reason we bought an automatic was that we just drive in the city mostly. Well, this article went through most of the major car brands, and roughly about 10 to 15, maybe a bit above, percent are sales of manual drive cars. I think when you're younger, you want a manual because you want to be able to go...

Trying to do that anyway. Wouldn't it be safer long distance to drive a manual because you can engine brake and stuff? You can't really do that in an automatic. Right. What are you driving a big wreck? No, like when you're going round corners instead of like smashing on the brakes

you can like change down. Brake on the straight before it's too late. Georgina Byer said it in a 1990s road safety commercial. I feel like you're more in control of the car. My parents would always go when the road safety commercials came on when we were all learning to drive,

is everybody paying attention? Break on the straight before it's too late. Some of the car companies they talk to, like 30, maybe 25, 30% were manual sales. Like for example, Suzuki, the Swift Sport still attracts 33% of buyers to the manual. A lot of utes are manuals and some only do manual only.

Right, because on utes you need a and some only do manual only. Right. Some utes you need a bit of manual because you need to be able to drop it again to give it a bit of grunt. But yeah, so I guess the gist of this article was like, well, do you really need

to learn in manual? It's just something to be able to say you can do that, isn't it? I guess so. But then if most cars aren't... But what if someone, what if one day you accidentally, like, or you get a job and there's, I don't know.

My nana was always the other way around. She could never drive an automatic. I said to her, you know it's easier. She's like, no, it's too confusing. Because what are you doing with your other foot? You leave it there. It just chills out. No, she's just like, no, I can't.

It scares me. I'm like, but you just hold it and you put it into which thing you want to go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Leave me in my manual. Leave me in my manual. How was she with ATMs? I probably never used one in her life. Never used one in her life.

Way too hard. It's interesting, though. That smaller number, I would have thought it would have been in the high 20s. What happens if you get a license with an automatic? I don't know what the deal is on that anymore. Does it say on your license, can't drive a manual? Shame. It says exactly that.

It's a big, yeah. Shame. Just a big shame in letters, I don't know. But yeah, interesting to know. It's much easier to drive an automatic. I know. It's nicer, isn't it? It is.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. We can do it, David. We can. ZDM.