ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 28 2019

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

A special guest on Community Notices today and when did you miss this birth?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Anyu. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner Megan. It's two minutes past six. Good morning. Good morning. Ahead of the long weekend. And the long weekend group toots.

So let's not forget that the long weekend group toots on Friday. Eight o'clock. And that there's a long weekend coming. But coinciding with a long weekend coming. But coinciding with that long weekend, by the looks of it, some cold weather. Well, I mean, we've had it too good for too long. I know, haven't we? We've had a very, very modest autumn. It's let us continue to enjoy outdoor living.

It's drilled us into a false sense of security. And here comes the cold. I'm okay, though. It just gives you an excuse false sense of security. And here comes the cold. I'm okay, though. It just gives you an excuse to watch Netflix or go to the movies. Not leave the house. Oh, it's raining. Oh, I can't do anything outside. And then you're like, oh, it's soup weather.

And then you eat like half a loaf of bread with the soup. And you're like, oh, this is good. No, because it's winter. It's carbs weather. It's winter. It is. Definitely. You need the carbs.

I haven't even put on the winter duvet yet. I thought I would have had to by now. Have you put on the winter duvet? Yeah, but I always feel cold. I've got heat sacks going and long jammies, but not winter jammies. Have you turned on your heat pump yet? No, but that's why. The house is freezing, so I've got to wear 50 layers.

We'll never turn that on. Or just turn on a heat pump, which is the most power-efficient way to heat your home. It would have to be freezing for me to turn that sucker on. God, you're like my mum. Yeah.

Yeah. Turn it on at the cheapest time of the day. Turn it on, warm the house, turn it off, put on some socks. Yeah. All right, you lot,

listen up. It's story time. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. I've found three news stories, three news headlines from around the world. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan decide on one of the following three stories. Headline one, log ride gets exciting.

Headline two, retired optometrist doesn't see shark and headline three prison pose you look real stoked with yourself on all three of those you really

like hit them hard optometrist doesn't see shark log ride gets exciting is me I want that because I was always I love a I've always thought the log flume Optometrist doesn't say shh. Log ride gets exciting as me. I want that. Because you love it. I love it. I've always thought the log flume at Rambo's End.

Yeah. Could afford a, you know, just a... A zhuzh up? Zhuzh up. Well, no, no, just, yeah, in the freaky manner. You want it to be more exciting. Yeah. Is that a controversial thought?

Is everybody quite happy with the level of... I think the log rides at any theme park, flume, whatever they call them, are always underrated. They're always great. They're a nice, like, you know... Meandering. Meander, and then you get a little bit of excitement,

a little bit of wet at the end. It's a great ride. Yeah, I hate when the water gets on you because that water is, like, nasty. Mankey. Oh, you nasty girl. If you think that water is like nasty. Oh, you nasty girl. If you think that water's nasty, you should try bumper boat water. Bumper boat water is nasty because they chlorinate it to try to get it.

They chlorinate it to try to keep it clean. They don't care if the log flume's dirty because it's supposed to look like a rank old creek. Yeah. But the bumper boats, they try to keep it clean, but it's fighting a losing battle, so they just keep putting more chlorine in there. And it's fighting a losing battle, so they just keep putting more chlorine in there. And it's stanker. Well, we go to California now, where an incident occurred at Castle Park.

I haven't heard of Castle Park, but it's got a log ride. So very much like the Rainbows N1, or the one that you've been on it. Where was I? Movie World's got one. We did that when we went over a couple of months ago. That's the Wild West one.

Very similar to that. Oh, that's so good. That's a good drop, that one. I'm imagining the origins of the log flume. People used to ride logs down rivers. There has to be an origin to these things, right? Yeah, but I don't know if they had this. No, the logs used to float down the river.

Yeah, you would sit on them and ride them down. No, I don't think you're supposed to sit on them. It was never an option. It was never a thing. I could imagine someone sat on a log down the river, right? You see the old photos of when they logged the Coromandel

and up north of all the coldie and they just put them into the, there were so many of them, you could totally have run across them. Yeah, right. Yeah, I mean, in theory. Because that's the thing is that a log rolls more than a log flumes.

Yeah. Well, anyway, Castle Park in California, Saturday afternoon, there was rolls more than a log swims. Yeah. Well, anyway, Castle Park in California, Saturday afternoon, there was a malfunction on the log ride, and people ended up stuck on the log ride because three people were left injured. Now, there are conflicting reports as to whether all three passengers were thrown from the log,

but apparently it sounds like the water's pump malfunctioned, the ride's pump malfunctioned, and the pump is meant to fill up one of the ride's splash zones. So when they come down, the big ramp, splash. So apparently that wasn't as full or full at all,

and it threw people from the log. Oh, because it was too dry. It was too dry. So they came down the road and hitting water and creating a splash. They just hit the dry. Yeah. Oh, my. So, I mean, you know, people say the long route ride isn't that exciting.

Well, it was on Saturday. Yeah, in California. I point out this was in California. I'm just looking at Castle Park and it looks like a really jazzed up carnival all the rides look at about carnival level people seem to be taking a lot of photos of the peacocks peacocks is a mini golf there's a lot of sort of like water-based activity this is probably their premier ride yeah well it? Yeah, well. Sounds like it. Sounds like it may have been.

Also in theme park news today, you may have seen this, but Star Wars, is it? Now, is this in Disneyland? Yes, yes, yes. It's Star Wars land within Disneyland. In California. Galaxy's Edge is what it's called. Oh, my God.

And there's one of the other, they're opening both at the same time. In Orlando. Orlando and California are opening at the same time. Huge. So apparently you're only going to be allowed to go into Star Wars land or whatever they're calling it. Galaxy's Edge. Galaxy's Edge for four hours and stormtroopers will police your entry and exit.

So I don't know if you've got a band and you're like scanning and you're like, why? What are they doing that for? I want the whole day, baby. Because people are going to hit it so hard. You think eventually it will be rubbing themselves up against a Millennium Falcon? Yes. People like you won't want to leave? Yeah.

See, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I've seen pictures of this place and it looks incredible. It's going to be heathen, this place. It's set on a planet called Batuu. Right. And it's not in any Star Wars movies. It's in a book I just read. Right. And it's got some shenanigans happening, that's for sure. You should just read a Star Wars book.

It's the only books I read are Star Wars books. They're so good. They are so, so good. Because I'm just, I can't wait for the movies. I need more Star Wars, so I've got to read. I know, imagine that. I finished all my colouring ins and I actually had to read Star Wars books. I've got another one on the go too, but I won't bore you with details. Thanks.

I'm about to do some toilet chat. However, there is a serious message at the end of this. So a woman in China, she had, for more than two weeks, she was constipated, very uncomfortable. And this is a report from her son. So she went to the bathroom and she strained so hard that when she was done in the bathroom, she'd lost 10 years worth of memories.

I thought you were going to say she'd lost 10 kgs. I was like, that's the dream. So her family were talking to her afterwards and realised that she had no idea about the past 10 years. So they went to hospital and after a certain amount of time she had normal brain function again.

So they're like, well there's nothing wrong with you. However, a doctor has explained that the condition is actually a thing so if you strain too hard this is for people who i don't know how this works for people who are highly emotional but people who are highly emotional or frequently carry heavy objects or strain you can it's the jugular vein that takes oxygen to your brain. It can affect blood flow and oxygen and it compromises your memory. So it's known as transient global amnesia and it is only temporary.

And it's because you strain too hard on the toilet. It affects your jugular, so the vein in your neck. Get some more vegetables and fruit in your diet. Not enough fibre. So anything that's making you go and when you like strain, like carrying something, it can affect your jugular and the blood flow and oxygen to your brain.

Isn't that scary? And that's not only like memory loss, you could just do yourself some irreversible brain damage. Yeah. Or could you give yourself an aneurysm if you're doing... I don't know. But imagine that's how you go. That's actually one of my worst fears.

I'll be naked or in, like, some kind of compromising position on the toilet. You'll be dead. What do you care? Sort this situation out. I feel sorry for... You know, I'd feel sorry for my family having to deal with that. It's shut, eh? So she'd be embarrassed.

She wouldn't let the, like, the coroner and stuff turn up and find that. So she'd, like, try to clean it up and I'd imagine she'd be upset. Probably angry at me for making such a mess on the way out. Yeah. Yeah. Probably ruin the evidence. Not that there needs to be evidence. It's not a murder scene. I've kind of done it myself. To a courtesy

clean up. We should all put that in our world. You shouldn't have to squeeze. That's why you just sit and take your time. You shouldn't have to squeeze that hard. Need more fibre. More fibre. More vegetables. Yeah, prunes. Or a Metamucil. Hope it doesn't hit you so sudden. Is that still on the ads? Remember that was on Metamucil. Hope it doesn't hit you so sudden. Is that still on the ads?

Remember that was on the ads? What? Hope it doesn't hit you so sudden. Have a Metamucil and hope it doesn't hit you too sudden. I just remember that growing up there, there was always ads on the TV for Metamucil. And was it an old guy or a lady came on? Yeah.

She's like, take a Metamucil and hope it doesn't hit you real sudden. Wait, it was an ad for Metamucil? Yeah. But they were also forewarned that you might shoot yourself. Yeah. Don't were also forewarning you might shoot yourself. Yeah. Don't you remember that? They would deter me from Metamucil. Now that I think about it, that's not a great encouragement, is it?

No, it's not. Should I take a Metamucil? Oh, no, no, because they were saying take a laxative and hope it doesn't hit you real sudden. Oh, so they were saying Metamucil was the slower moving option. The better option. That's right. Apologies, Metamucil. Apologies to Metamucil was the slower moving option. The better option. That's right. Apologies, Metamucil.

Apologies to Metamucil. Take a laxative. But again, it was still quite a grim ad. It was like, hey, do you want to shit yourself? Take Metamucil. And if you haven't for a while, you know, like wash it and poop for, what did you say, 10 days? Two weeks. Two weeks.

Well, it might be just a way of avoiding some. You're really rolling the dice on a Metamucil. Really rolling the dice. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. As the weather gets colder, you may be noticing more spiders inside your house. Megan's worst nightmare. Here's the vibe, though. And I thought it was because it's getting colder and spiders come in because it's cold

and they're like, ooh. Well, have you ever seen a spider coat? Wearing a coat. A spider wearing a coat. It would be annoying me to get all the arms in the right place. You know when your gloves, your fingers come in? You'd be like, oh, God, I've got two legs and one bloody hole. I know.

Pull it out. So, yeah, it's hard enough to get undies on sometimes. Yeah. When you're asleep or not concentrating. Try that with eight. Yeah. So the reason you're seeing more inside isn't because it gets colder. So it turns out New Zealand native spiders will stay outside all year round

because this is the climate that they're used to. What's a native spider? The kakapo. That's the katapo, not the kakapo. The kakapo is a giant green parrot that doesn't fly. If one of those is inside. Oh, you'd know about it. But that's good because aren't they going extinct?

Yes. You'd actually call the Department of Conservation if you've got a kakapo inside. If you find one under a log. They'd probably be pretty keen to put a tag on that and know whereabouts it is. Preserve it. But it's non-native spiders that are inside.

Is the white tail introduced? Or is that a native? The only one I googled, I was like, are daddy longlegs natives to New Zealand? They're not. Nah. They got introduced during early European colonisation, which is weird.

Like, how did they get everywhere? Good one. They're so small. Well, they must have been in someone's suitcase. Yeah, but that explains one house. Yeah. And then what? They just keep hitching a ride to whoever else.

What do, like, official people call daddy longlegs? What, like, their scientific name? Yeah. So, white-tailed spiders are native to southern and eastern Australia. They've been introduced to New Zealand, but they're not. They introduced them? Yeah. Yeah. Because those are the only ones I ever see.

Then they were like, White Town, this is New Zealand. New Zealand, this is White Town. Like that. But did they bring them in to get rid of something? Back in the day? No, I just think they snuck in. Oh, right. Okay.

The Daddy Longlegs scientific name, Megan, is the Flossiday. Falsiday. It's not nearly as catchy, obviously. No. Daddy Longlegs or Salaspiders. scientific name, Megan, is the Flossidae. Flossidae. It's not nearly as catchy, obviously. Daddy Longlegs or Salaspiders. But I'll always let a Daddy Longlegs roam around my place. Yeah, because don't they eat the white tails? Yep. Yeah. And they eat flies and stuff. Yeah, no, they're all good

with me. Why you're seeing more of them is because it's the mating season and the ones you're likely... Oh, God! The ones you're likely seeing are males on the prowl. Right. So the females are there all year round. You just can't see them.

Yeah. But then when it's mating season, the males go a-wandering and they go looking for love. Yeah. And that's why when you're in the shower and the daddy longlegs is up in the corner, he's like, hey, baby. You're like, sorry, wrong species. He's like hey baby you're like sorry wrong species he's like my bad

my bad I'm moving I was wondering I was like this freaky bitch you only got two legs and then he goes and finds

but yeah they're wandering they're looking in all the sort of places they don't usually go looking for mates because they know they're there somewhere

but they've got to go and find them so you see them in transit or kind of like a Saturday night when you see the whole rugby team out in their polos. Exactly. Yes, yes, yes. Do the females need a warm place to give birth?

They're not going to come inside to give birth? Not the native spiders. Not the native spiders. Normally mattresses under pillows. Yeah. Megan. Or in undies drawers. In your socks.

So, yeah, don't worry about it. They're always there. You're just seeing them more often now. They're always watching. That's a reassuring thing. Yeah. It certainly is. Yeah.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, news about the Christchurch Stadium. Because, you know, this has been talked about for ages. Well, ever since the earthquake, we went to the final conversion at Carisbrook. No. Yes.

Yeah. Carisbrook. I always get that stadium's name wrong. No, that's... I know. I always get Lancaster Park and Carisbrook. You're getting into more stadiums. I know.

And that's the thing. I knew that one of them was still standing, but now that they're both taken down, I always get them confused. Well, I mean, it's still standing. Lancaster. It's taken a while to demolish it. Yeah, they're taking it down bit by bit. So, ever since that earthquake in Christchurch, there's been, they lost the major sporting stadium. So, there's

been all the talk about what they're going to do for a replacement, where it's going to go, because obviously it can't go on the same site. So this is what's amazing, is that they're saying that this long-awaited stadium could cost almost a billion dollars to build and operate, and that it would cost the city of Christchurch,

or the council, $18 million a year to run. So they reckon that for the first 25 years of life, that would equate to $1.5 million a month. Good lord. What's that for the lawn mowing? Like, how does a stadium cost $1.5 million a month to run? Yeah, isn't there just rent and then like...

Employees, power. By comparison, Auckland's Eden Park, which is owned by an independent trust, Employees, power. By comparison, Auckland's Eden Park, which is owned by an independent trust, cost $13.3 million to run last year, but made more than $17 million in operating income. That's probably the chips, expensive chips. Oh, yeah, the catering. Yeah, a fair bit of money to be made in warm wine.

Bottles of chips and room temperature beer. Yeah, for sure. I'm all for it, though. 100% it needs it. It's a crucial part of a city. Because that sounds like a lot to me, but is that a lot for a city to pay for? I don't know.

What's their bougie each month? Well, you just have to work into their bougie. But surely there was money set aside for this. Well, it's just got to happen. Well, yeah, exactly. And it's not just sports. So many other events happen at, I mean, not Eden Park, because everyone that lives around there is like,

it's too noisy. I won't have it. But, you know, most other stadiums have concerts and festivals and all sorts of things. So close your part to a city. They reckon it should start next year and be finished by the end of 2023. So still a long way away. Oh, yeah. Well, you can't just nip up a stadium in no time. So still a long way away. Oh, yeah.

Well, you can't just nip up a stadium in no time. Can't just rip one out. Yeah, not a nice one. They thought of doing sort of a Coliseum vibe. Like, you know, like you could fill it with water and have boat races in there and that sort of thing. I mean, this is a very rough 3D graphic. It kind of looks like a casserole dish, doesn't it?

With a roof. It looks like an upside down casserole dish. Although I don't know if it does actually have a roof. But that's what it looks like there in an artist's rendition. How would you describe that? It's nice, isn't it? It's like another stadium room. Well, it doesn't look like genitals, so that's always a tick in the book for me.

Yeah, because the next FIFA World Cup's in Qatar, and that just looks like a giant... Vaheen. Very Vaheen-esque. Right. Well, you know, it's about time we had something. As opposed to phallic. You know, there's a lot of phallic objects out there.

Well, why don't we just make stuff like bumholes? We've all got one of those. Yeah, that's inclusive of everyone. Then there doesn't have to be a gender battle over it. Please. Because you're right, you don't ever see anything that someone says it looks like a butt. you don't ever see anything that someone says it looks like a butt.

Yeah. You don't ever see things that looks like a, it looks phallic or it looks, what's the female version of phallic? I'm having major deja vu.

We've spoken about this before. Yeah. Sathic? Oh, careful. Is it, is it S-A-P-H-H-I-C? Right. Feminine version of phallic?

I don't know. Or do you just say phallic? Nah, phallic's definitely pain aisle. Have you got one there? If you Googled female version of phallic. I don't think we'll just move on. No, we need the answer now. We'll move on.

Because you know what? This will be a crossword. This will be a crossword answer one day. And you'll thank us one day when you're doing that crossword you never do. What? Yoni. No, that's some bloody hippie thing, doing that crossword you never do. What? Yoni? Yonik. No, that's some bloody hippie thing, isn't it? Yonik is the word.

Yonik, the hedgehog. No wonder they've had to go back and redesign him and push his movie date release out. Yonik. Is it? I thought it was Sephic. Is that, am I dragging a bit of ancient history? Greg Vars stuff in here.

South Africans now. I don't know. Sephic. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Good morning. Today's Top Six deals with the fact that the government is looking for a cannabis expert with proven experience ahead of next year's non-binding referendum for a legal cannabis market.

This apparently, this cannabis referendum policy manager would have a pay range of between $137,000 and $194,000 a year. That's a lot of money to give a stoner. So that's what I'm saying is all that time your parents are like, you're wasting yourself, you'll never make money. Well, you've just got a You'll never make money. Wow. Yes, I've just got a six-figure income. It's all good.

So the top six signs you are indeed the expert that the government is looking for. Number six, you knew that you were the expert, but you forgot. But someone said it, and now you remember, and you'll never forget again, and you're going to put a little bit of leather around your wrist to make you remember. Yeah. To see you remember. Yeah.

To make you remember. What are all those other things for? Don't know, man. Just all the other leather things are for other things I've got to remember. Yeah. I'll remember them when I need to and I look at my little calendar here on my wrist.

All these different coloured leathers. Don't worry about it. It's not your concern. Number five on the list of the top six signs you're the cannabis expert that the government's looking for. You're your group of friends reigning hacky sack champ.

Second best at devil sticks and easily the best at flame poi. So you're the grand champ of the Stone Olympics, which happens every Waitangi weekend. Okay. That's the best time of the year. Although not always the best time of the year for fire poi

because there could be some fire restrictions. You don't want to drop your poi and set some dry grass on fire. Probably you'd just go back to traditional. Traditional, maybe a laser poi. Number four on the list of the top six signs you're the cannabis expert that the government is looking for. You let out a little hee hee hee whenever you see a small dog. Hee hee hee hee.

Hello. Yeah, and a hello. Hee hee hee hee-hee-hee whenever you see a small dog. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Hello. Yeah, and a hello. Hee-hee-hee-hee. Hello. And one time one even looked back at you and said hello, and that's when you're like, I've got to chill out. I've got to lay off.

Number three on the list of the top six signs you're the cannabis expert that the government's looking for are when moving into a flat, you always first check what kind of stovetop there is. Induction cooktop. Oh, no, no, no. Gas? It'll do in a stretch. Coils? We'll take it. Really, because the rest of the boy said we'll take it. Number two on the list of the

top six signs you're the cannabis expert that the government's looking for. Your work poncho also doubles as your chill poncho and it's also your going out poncho. It's a multi purpose poncho. Same goes for your sandals. You can wear them anywhere. Great quality. Hemp.

That's the secret. It's the material of tomorrow. And the number one sign that you're the cannabis expert that the government's looking for, you can make a delicious meal to satisfy the munchies with whatever you can find in the fridge. You especially excel in the combination of two foods.

Ice cream on salt crackers? Delicious. It's like a salty ice cream cone. But you get the same amount of ice cream and cone on every bite. You don't just eat down the ice cream until you get to the cone.

Yeah, right. Know what I'm saying, man? Yeah. Know what I'm saying? It's a good split of sugar and salt. That is today's top six. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices,

a segment of the show where we see what's happening in your neck of the woods according to your local Facebook page. Now, you're going to give us a neck of the woods, according to your local Facebook page. Now, you're going to give us a couple of community notices, Vaughan, and then at the end, Megan has organised a little surprise. I do have a little surprise for you, Vaughan. It's a treat for all of us, surprise for you. Okay. Community notice sort of related.

Oh, 100%. Okay. Yeah. All right. Let's start then in Lincoln, New Zealand community page. Martin writes on the Lincoln, New Zealand community page, observed tonight, Lincoln, there are CTV cameras in the Lincoln toilets. Okay.

And get this, they're apparently legal. So this is the public toilets. Obviously, cameras in there to avoid vandalism. So Martin writes that on the page. Seven minutes later, Martin comments, Thank you for posting this, Martin. It is true and I believe it's important people know. So Martin thanked himself for posting about the CTV cameras and the toilets. Right.

Right. Not quite sure whether or not Martin's partner or someone who lives with Martin thought Martin's not getting enough props for this situation. I'll give him a little bit of love. But they forgot to log Martin out and then commented as Martin on Martin's initial post. People saying it's good to see Martin supporting Martin. Because as Martin on Martin's initial post. People saying, it's good to see Martin supporting Martin. Because you can have toilet,

I thought you could have cameras at the start, like an entrance, but you can't have them in the toilet. Not where they can see you. See your pain. See your jennies. They can have you behind you at the urinal, right? But then what if you turn around

and you haven't tucked it in in time? That's on you. Right, okay. I mean, that's 100% on you. Okay. Next up on the Papakura and Takanini grapevine page, Armin. Armin?

Armin. Okay. It looks like Armin. Right. At the end of a prayer. Writes, I'd like to thank that lady last night who, when we asked where was a nice place to enjoy fish and chips, gave us the tip about going to Bruce Pullman Park.

Because when we got there, there were other people in their car having a, and then they use a word that starts with R, has two O's in the middle and a T on the end. Okay. Firstly, it's very scenic. Yeah. So obviously their initial inquiry about fish and chips was,

Yeah. was a lie. Right. It was a red herring. Okay. They wanted to also have an R with two O's in the middle and then a T on the end. So there were multiple cars

up there at Bruce Pullman Park which is apparently very scenic. And secondly, my girlfriend asked if you had anywhere else you could recommend. Somebody recommends Weymouth Beach. You pull up, you eat your fish and chips and then you can see all the other cars with the fogged up windows.

That's very weird. What sort of like recommended areas? Growing up, did you have a local area that was where you'd park, come in the car? No. Megan went like this. You know when old mates are getting ready to tell a yarn? They're like, wow.

No, because I was waiting for Fletch to tell it. No. And Nelson. Where? You know. I don't know. I've literally only ever eaten food in my car. I'm too tall.

I've tried. I need a large sort of a van or wagon. No, you know, not in your car. People like go down to Turner Beach. You're not allowed in the sand dunes anymore. Yeah, that's why. Because they were rolling on the doctor legs. Yeah.

You rolled on a couple of doctor legs and you ruined it for everybody. And finally, from the Mount Albert community page, Van has posted, I'm looking for piano slash violin slash music lessons for babies around one year old. Any recommendations in our area, thank you. One year, one very young. It wouldn't even be that. It would be bang, bang, bang, cry, fall off

chair. But you've got to start them young, I guess, if you want the next insert person very good at stuff here. Yeah. Okay, I have a surprise for Vaughan. There's one contributor from Community Notices that you have a soft spot for. And he joins us now. Good morning, Mel from Rolleston.

Yeah, good morning, Megan. Rain gauge, Mel. Rain gauge, Mel. I think it's good morning. Yes. The human rain gauge, Mel. Good morning. Good morning.

Actually, you've just caught me nicely because Jan and I were about to go to the Lincoln University gym where we go twice a week for exercises for the nearly dead. Oh. What kind of exercises do you do at the gym? All sorts. Tai chi, around the room, you know, exercises, just a whole lot of stuff. We've got a woman that takes us there. It's brilliant.

Keeps us fit. So progressive. You're so active now. It's brilliant. Keeps us fit. So progressive. Doing Tai Chi. At our age, of course, we're on that horrible slope, flat stick going down towards the ultimate conclusion. So we'd like to be fit instead of sitting in an old folks home on a couple

of armchairs like sparrows on a powerline waiting to drop off. Because famously you did the Otago rail trail on your bike just before you turned 75. Yeah, a couple of weeks beforehand, it was one of my life's aims and I was tickled pink to do it.

We were a bit worried about you, Mel, if we're honest. So was my doctor. Good, I love when you defy a doctor's orders or fears.

Well, he was testing my heart with his stethoscope and he's a bit of a hard case, too, and he looked a bit frowning, and I said, what's the matter? And he said, oh, just having you on. He's going to do tricks like that to a man of your wisdom. Why did you start keeping a tally of the rain

to share with the community? I understand keeping your own rain gauge is one thing, but to share the amount of rain you had with the community. Yeah, quite some time ago, I can't remember how because my mind's not that good, I must say. What happened was there was a massive rain over several days here. And one of our stock agent's wife, Kiri Uri, and she said, I wonder how much rain there was.

Well, I've had that record, so I told her, she said, well, you should put it on Facebook because people would want to know. I've actually been pretty chuffed, to be honest. I can't even recall anyone, but having said that, you can guarantee I'll now get it, any nasty comments. Mostly they like my warped sense of humour. And the other thing is, quite a few of them have actually said they feel as though they're part of my family,

as though, you know, I'm their grandfather they haven't got. I mean, that one, the last one I put on of the photo of me finishing the rail trail, and that was actually Lies, by the way. That was the first before I set out. If you'd seen me at the end of the rail trail, I was all haggard. And the other one was me with my great-grandson.

And, you know, there was 840 likes and 200 comments on that posting. And, yeah, there was a few that made the comment about me saying about living with a great-grandma. But the rest of them were real congratulations, and I actually was quite chuffed with that.

Oh, Mel. Well, keep it up, Mel. Yeah, we love it. We love it, and obviously Rollison does as well. Yeah, I was liking to meet you three, because I'd like to take the mickey out of you when I get the opportunity. I don't need a roasting at the hand of a man

who's been roasting for as many years as you have. Also, you're a bit of a social media, like you know not to post too often, you know to include a little bit of humour, and you know who needs a little bit of a roasting. You're very switched on with the social media. Thank you very much indeed. Does that try and stop me coming smashing your knees?

Do whatever it takes to stop that happening. It won't work, mate. Okay, he's coming. Fantastic. Mel, thank you so much. And as as always if you see anything on your local Facebook page It tickles you fancy Screenshot it And send it to ours FVMZM on Facebook

Well just before you go I'd just like to say that my granddaughter Cresha Walker Who set this thing up today She's out of my will She's out of your will Worth it though. Worth it for us.

You can put me in there, Mal. That'd be nice. Okay, done. It's so important if you want a dog, you have to look into what you can offer the dog because they have needs too, everyone. Now, Game of Thrones famously has direwolves in there, which they use huskies.

Do they use huskies or do they use those other ones? Siberian huskies and Alaskan Metamucils. Yes. Mallowmoots. Something like that. But they CGI them to make them look bigger though, don't they?

Yeah. Obviously. Mallowmoot. Mallowmoot. Something like that. But they CGI them to make them look bigger though, don't they? Yeah. Obviously. Malamute. Malamute. Malamute. Malamute. Right. Yeah, they look more like that. Like a wolfy sort of sitch.

So the fact that Game of Thrones is so popular and because they were on screen for so long and they're like awesome, everyone's like, I want a husky. They haven't looked into it much. And then it has led to hundreds of huskies being abandoned. Now, not only in New Zealand, this is a worldwide trend, so there is an increase, 700% increase

worldwide in husky sales and abandonment. See, if I was to get a dog, instantly I'd think, I want a husky. But I also... You've always gone about huskies. I also know that've always gone about huskies. I also know that they are hard work. They need to be trained right and they need to you just need to put in a lot of effort

with them. You're getting a wolf. They need 5k's of exercise per day. And they can also just run away, can't they? If they're not trained well. It says here they can also clear a 1.8 metre fence with no problems. So you need to have a fortress to house it and you need to drive in a car

and have it running alongside you every day just to keep it happy. Otherwise they howl and they get angry and they get aggressive and that's not their fault. You just haven't provided what they need. So a lot of people are going like, cute, want a husky, getting it

and realising you can't provide what it needs. God, they are so cute though. They are, but it's like hundreds are being abandoned in New Zealand and then obviously there's not a home for hundreds of huskies. There's husky rescue pages. You should see in New Zealand there's husky rescue pages and everything. Just like seriously have a wee think about that before going and buying one. And if you're up for it, though, you probably get one pretty cheap or free.

Now's your time. Well, if you've got the room and the space and the patience and the nature for it. You've got a backyard. Great backyard for a husky. I don't want any more dogs. No. But then at least like a husky, like a wolf. I like to think, you know, because they all evolved from wolves, didn't they?

Yeah. But this is turning into some Leo shade. You better stop right now. But then they look down and they see a husky and they're like, there's our offspring. Yeah. That's, you know, still they've domesticated us, but there's still some semblance of our wolf ancestry there.

And then they look down and they see Leo and they're like, can't even jump on a couch. Can he not even jump on the couch? No, he can. He's being facetious. He needs assistance. He does not! Also, somebody just messaged in that they're not, technically people, if they want to buy a Game of Thrones

dog, shouldn't be buying huskies. There's a breed of dog called the Northern Inuit dog. Wow, that's beautiful. And they're bigger. And they were apparently a crossbreed dog that originated in the late 1980s. Right. Because they wanted dogs that looked more like wolves.

Oh, yeah. We can't look after the huskies we've taken. So let's get a bigger one. Let's get a bigger one that's more like a wolf. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, we have a chance here to win cash. We initially wanted to get Ross Boss to do a roly-poly yesterday because he's never done one and he's too tall.

And it would just be so comical to see someone of that stature. Do a roly-poly, a forward roll. Yeah. The world record is 75 roly-polies or forward rolls in one minute. See, now just divide a minute. That's more than one a second. Diverine, diverine, diverine. It just gets continuous.

Now the video that got us onto this, the one that you saw, was a guy doing 64 in a minute. And that was on like a lush grass. And he was going for it. So we said to Ross, come on, do a rolly polly. Do one. And he's like, no, I'll pay $ Ross, come on, do a roly-poly. Do one. And he's like, no, I'll pay $500 to someone else to do a roly-poly. Attempt the roly-poly record.

Attempt the record. Yeah. So we want to do this and we will need a person. But as Vaughan found out yesterday, it doesn't go to plan. I'll start at $500. $500 to break a world record. Do they have to break the record or just attempt it? Just attempt it.

I'm not getting down on the floor. Not you. I'll just cut out the moment. I'll do it for the 500 bucks. Not you. 75. You probably can't even do one. I apologise.

I apologise. Yay! You just hit the good dog. So now try and do that as a really unfit person. Oh, yeah. Real dangerous. I didn't tuck the neck. I'm seeing a little stud.

There was a definite pull on the shoulder neck scenario. I think I went in a little bit hard on the waist. You kind of did a headstand on the way through. Yeah, that. Ouch. That's a negation. Wow. That was, and it got worse as the day went on.

I, pretty soon after that Booked a physio Yeah But couldn't Like when I was driving home I couldn't even turn To see if it was okay To change lanes

So I just had to stay In one lane I think you're gonna say Just had to just change Without looking I just had to Take a shot Take a chance

And so I went And got a massage Before I even went to physio And she was like What have you done? I was like, roly poly, board roll. She's like, good God. And then she started really working the elbow in the

in this big knotted area and then I went to physio and she's like, oh yeah, she did a realignment. Yeah. She's like, you've put a whole of the weight down and it's done this. Excuse me. So she rolled up this towel really tightly and stuck it under my back, then put the pressure on and then she put all her weight and twisted me and it went

straight up my back. And she's like, so you're feeling better today? I'm still really stiff. It doesn't hurt as much. Right. I have got a bit more movement back. It's still a little bit sore going left. So this is the thing. If you're going to attempt this record, and we're thinking we're going to do

this on Tuesday, Tuesday morning, you're going to attempt this record, and we're thinking we're going to do this on Tuesday, Tuesday morning, we're going to need one person to do as many roly-polies as they can. Yeah. I've heard from so many people that have hurt themselves. I don't want people entering this if they've not done one recently. No, but that's also, I'm a bit worried that everyone's going to go just bust out one and try it.

Don't. Make sure you've got like a soft landing, because the ball just hit the ground. Do it on a mat or grass. You need to tuck your chin in. Maybe look at a tutorial on YouTube first. Very soft. Don't do it on a concrete floor

covered in an industrial carpet. I think that people that are very, like yoga people or gymnasts, flexible people, Yeah, they're probably better at it. Well, I talked to a woman who messaged me saying she's onto her sixth week of intensive physio. She's in better at it. Well, I talked to a woman who messaged me saying she's on to her sixth week of intensive physio. She's in an MRI and everything because she did a roly-poly

because her kid asked her if she could. Oh, God. And she's had like spasming muscles and she can't turn right. Well, we're not selling this record. But I just don't want any Tom, Dick or Harry jumping into a roly-poly, even not part of the competition. Be very careful. That's your neck.

Okay, well, we'll need some health and safety forms, but we're going to go ahead with this. Ross's $500 cash has been matched by Spark. They've come on board. Who sponsored the show? They've seen a tie in here. They've said, we'll give $500. So we've got $1,000 cash up for grabs.

Plus, they are going to give the winner a $19 rollover pack for every forward roll over. Cute. So even if you got like 40 rolls out in a minute, that's $40 $19 rollover packs from Spark. Now that gets you 1.5 gigs of rollover data. So imagine all the data. So that would be 60 gigs. Yeah. To rollover. To rollover data. So imagine all the data and that rolls over. So that would be 60 gigs.

Yeah. To rollover. To rollover. Good Lord. I mean, depending on how much you used and stuff. Yeah. But that's not bad, is it?

So if you would like to register ZM Online, or you can text in to 9696 and Tuesday morning we're going to attempt this record. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all

thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Domino's Pizza is putting in an effort to be a little less shit and I must commend anyone that will put in an effort to make themselves a little less that.

Because I can't be bothered. So, I'm happy with my level of that, and I'll stick to it. Thank you. You're happy with your level of averageness. Try to make it work for me. Yeah. Well, they've got an AI technology. This is a pizza checker, and it's at the bench where the pizzas get cut,

which blows my mind the pizzas are still manually cut. They can't afford a big stamping blade. They just chuck it on the end of the pizza oven and it comes out and then the thing just comes out and goes ka-chonk and it could be sitting on something with the pre-cuts already so it all just slots into the existing thing. Yeah, but the price you'd pay for that, just get someone to cut it. But then the doughy pizza would slop up.

Yeah, different sized pizzas too. Slices. Come on, guys. But you're right, though. Send a rover to Mars. We can work out how to cut different sized pizzas on the same apparatus. So this new artificial intelligence will check over the pizza at the cutting bench. You put it under.

It does a scan. And if you've clumped too much pepperoni in one area, it can reject the pizza and be like, try again, sucker. But then surely it would be better to check it at the start before it goes in. Yeah, that's what I would have thought. Before you heat it. Before you heat it. Because then you could rearrange it, pre-cook.

Yeah. Good call. Unless then you put some more ingredients on and re- Redo it. No, but then that would overheat the pizza. Some parts were undercooked. So they just want it to look more like the picture. Yeah. It's like burgers

or anything. Never looks like the picture, does it? There's nothing more infuriating than buying and I'm not saying that Domino's does this, but if you buy a pepperoni pizza and it's got like three pieces of pepperoni. They do. You can say they do because they do. But that's the thing.

You're buying it for $5. You can't expect it to look like. The one on the poster looks like at least $6.50. And, yeah, so this machine will reject it. I'm just worried about what about this is all going to fall on the person that put the stuff on the pizza. Oh, yeah, right. Don't act like that's a bad thing.

They'll be like, oh, another rejected pizza. That's my dinner. No, but then that's going to count against their name. And then at the end of the shift, they're going to get strikes. Because it'd be different. If you didn't own the pizza place, you'd probably be a bit stingy on the fillings, wouldn't you? But if I worked there, I wouldn't care.

I'd imagine it's my pizza all the time. Oh, you're saying if you did own the pizza place, you'd be stingy on the pizza. Yeah, me too. Well, if I worked there, I wouldn't care. I'd put all the toppings on. Probably get told off for putting too much on. That's what I asked a subway worker once.

You know, if I didn't work here, I'd just really go to town on the tomatoes, for example. And they said, oh, no, you can only use so many. I was like, yeah, but who's policing this right now? They might have mystery subway shoppers. Like the owner might come, oh no. With him in a moustache with fake glasses on. He's like, hello, I'll have a teriyaki chicken footlong please

with exactly the recommended amount of tomatoes. And then, oh, you've used too many tomatoes it was me all along. You're fired. What, over two slices of tomatoes? You're damn straight. I'll train someone up from the absolute rock bottom again because you cost me two slices of tomatoes.

So anyway, this machine's going to take care of pizzas. Right. It's good to know. And make stuff more evenly distributed. But it doesn't matter if you fold them over anyway, it's all still in there. Then you've got like a sandwich. Pizza sandwich.

Pizza sandwich. It's the still in there. Then you've got like a sandwich. Pizza sandwich. Pizza sandwich. It's the breakfast of champions. Last night the girls had swimming lessons and they come home from swimming lessons hyped up for some reason. I would have thought

these sorts of physical activities that late in the day would have led to you know, them being tired. No, it's like adrenaline pumping. Yeah, but I guess maybe that's the thing, right?

Right. The adrenaline's pumping. They get home. They're very, very excited. I'm stiff-necked thanks to a roly-poly gone wrong. And I am trying to sort out dinner. Shade's helping me. They're playing and they're being loud,

but they're playing like happy, laughing, playing, which is much better than fighting. Right. I have to remind myself of that all the time. Yep. They're laughing and they're having fun. They're not like fighting, so that's good. Do you remember back to when you were a kid

and you used to fight with your brother all the time? Yep. Yeah, same. At that age, we would have had the laugh playing for 30 second stops. Yep. And then someone would have tried to murder the other one. Hurt the other one,

and then it would have quickly escalated into attempted murder. Yeah. Even at that age. So they're fighting and they're playing and I don't know what game they're playing, but they're building a fort out of these cushions. Oh, cute. And yeah, there's some great cushions.

The outdoor furniture cushions got bought in because I was like, I don't want them staying outside in winter. And they're great cushions for building a fort with, but stiffer. It is cute though. But then when you actually have to buy a couch as an adult, I wouldn't want someone making a fort out of the nice cushions.

Hey, your couch would probably be pretty good for, have you made a fort? Actually, no, it would be great for it. No, I haven't, but it would be great. They're big cushions.

Yeah, they'd be great. Yeah, that's the thing. You want a large cushion with a bit of substance and a bit of weight so it can hold the other cushions on top of it as a roof

because a fort without a roof is an absolute waste of time. I could take some arrows, I reckon. My fort. Like I could take some Nerf bullets? Yep. That's kind of what you want. You want your fort to withstand an approach by a Nerf opposition army.

Yep. So they're building a fort and I don't know who's playing what role, but then we hear it. I'm kind of in the kitchen and I hear a, like someone's running at the fort. So I cast an eye and August runs up, boots in the wall of the fort, and then says, you sucker. Sade and I literally like, stop. Indy knows that what's happened is probably not good. And I look at Sade and she looks at me and we're like, stop. Indy knows that what's happened is probably not good. And I look at Sade and she looks at me and we're like,

did she just say ****? I think she did. August, what did you just say? Nothing. That's what she says. I said nothing. I was like, no, no, we heard you say something. What did you say?

Nothing. Did you say the F word? No. No. And Indy's like, no, no,, did you say the F word? No. No. And Indy's like, no, no, she didn't say the F word. She said, freak you, sucker. And I was like, well, I don't know. That doesn't even make sense.

Good. I was kind of like proud of her for having her sister's back. Yeah, I would have thrown her under the bus. 100%. That would have been me straight away. In fact, I would have yelled out, Meme, Meme, you should have F word before that even reacted. But we looked at her and we're like, what was the word you said? Nothing.

I was like, we all heard it. What was the word? And then she looks at me and she's like, oh, friend. I was like, you don't say friend, you sucker, as you kick down the wall to the fort. And she looked at me and she's like, it was friend. It was friend. I was like, it wasn't friend.

It was the F word. She's like, absolutely was not the F word. Have you got an audio recording? Can you prove I said that? I can't. But then shut it down. I said, look, the deal is you get a free pass. You can't say that. You can't say it at home.

Yeah. You definitely can't say it at kindy. She starts school soon. Kindy. I know. She's not even at school. But you can't say it at kindy. And you certainly, when you start school,

you don't want this against your name. I said, when you're, and so now, I foolishly said, when you guys are 10, you can start using

some swear words, not that swear word. Because John Campbell told me once. Yeah. Because John Campbell, you would never get to guess this

by watching him on television, but he swears quite a lot. Oh, he's got the mouth of a trooper. Yeah. John Campbell, you would never get this guess this by watching him on television, but he swears quite a lot. Oh, he's got the mouth of a trooper. Yeah. So, and his kids, he said he's all right with his kids swearing, but they have to know where and when it's appropriate. Yeah, it's fair enough. So he doesn't mind them swearing at home.

Well, I said growing up, I was never allowed to swear. Oh. Yeah. Even now, even I'll test my mum. Sometimes I'll say the F word in front of mum. Now, even now. And she'll be like, no sometimes I'll say the F word in front of mum. Now, even now? And she'll be like, no.

I'll drop all those words. Oh, yeah. I've heard you say some awful words in front of your mother and she doesn't even bat an eyelid. My mum's still like, ah, ah, no, no, no, no.

What about this bear ball drop of yours? Yeah. I've never heard the C-bomb out of your mother's. No, no, she wouldn't say that. But the trouble is

if you're telling her she can use it when it's appropriate, she was kicking down like enemy housing. Yeah, no, she wouldn't say that. But the trouble is, if you're telling her she can use it when it's appropriate, she was kicking down, like, enemy housing. Of course it's appropriate. I haven't put a age limit on the F word when they can start using that.

But basically, 10's when they can use S-H-I-T. Right. And we went through. But then that's the problem. I'm still learning. Because parenting's like, you can start using them when they're 10. What words can we use when we're 10?

I'm like, oh, God. And then I say them and they're like, okay, so I can say shit when I'm 10. I can say shit. I'm like, yes. Stop saying it now. I'm just confirming, Dad. I'm just confirming. When we're 10, we can say, I'm like, yes, yes, yes.

What other words? I'm like, that, yes, yes. What other words? I'm like, that's all for today. You're in a world of trouble. I know. So what happens if August uses the F-bomb again? At kindy. Or even at home. I don't know.

Okay. I don't know. There'll be some punishment dished out. Because were you trying hard not to laugh? Oh, that was the word. We were like... Like, it was delivered with... Gusto.

It was good. You couldn't falter on it. Delivery, it was beautiful. It was just like, boom! You sucker! I was just like, what is going on? Like, 1980s action hero sort of boot and swear. But then as parents, you've got to not laugh.

Yeah. And just be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You get one free purse. You've used your free purse. All right. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now, I understand that Joseph Parker is a boxing star.

Yes. And he needs to travel around the world for his job. But for the third time he has missed the birth of his child. Congratulations are in order. Their daughter, Michaela Florence Parker. But yeah, he wasn't there.

So every time his partner's given birth, he has not been able to be there. He's been around the world training or preparing for upcoming. Missed the birth of my baby. You quite often hear of sports stars like rugby players, cricket players that miss or have to just take maybe a few weeks out

from a tour to be there for the birth. Is that more important? Well, I mean, if it's your source of income Yeah, but you don't get to see that again For me, there's not, like, nah I'm just thinking, like, if you were, like, old And you're dying or whatever What are you going to regret?

I remember that Tuesday I punched a bag You still got kids, though, don't you? Yeah, I didn't expect future regret. I remember that Tuesday I punched a bag. You still got kids though, don't you? Yeah, I didn't expect Fletch to. We don't go to Fletch for a run. But that's the moment. Especially the first. It's the most magical. It's the most magical thing you'll ever witness. Plus your

partner needs support. That's the most hectic thing they're probably going to go through. Because Fletch is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I'd put my foot down and absolutely throw a strop. I mean, obviously, she's very supportive, but that would not be me. Yeah, obviously.

Obviously supportive and understanding of the situation, but. I thought you were saying, obviously, you'd throw a strop. Oh, you would? Yeah. I mean, obviously, you'd throw a strop. Obviously, yeah. 100%. But then I would expect, if I was the female in the situation,

I'd throw a strip as well. But sometimes it's unexpected and not as planned, isn't it? And people work. They could be working. They can't just afford to be off work. If it comes early or unexpectedly, sure. But then you would, if it was getting close to that time, you probably wouldn't.

Yeah, it's not as if it's like going to happen in 10 minutes. Like you get a little bit of warning. Yeah. So you can be like, okay, well I need to go now.

Well, it could happen. Sometimes it does happen in 10 minutes. And surely then you wouldn't be like, you took 15 minutes to get home from work and it only took 10 minutes

for the baby to come and you missed it. And I'm imagining whoever missed it would be gutted that they missed it if they were trying to get there

but we'd like to know this morning there's already text messages flowing in really of who missed a birth lots of people say well let's start

with some some high drama okay my dad missed my birth because he was in bed with another woman as my mother gave birth to me

wow hashtag hashtag the start of daddy issues yeah that's like dad because he was in bed with another woman as my mother gave birth to me. Wow. Hashtag the start of daddy issues. Yeah, that's like... Dad. Hey, dad. Dad. I mean, I'm sure that lady can wait just a moment. Yeah.

All right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. Who missed a birth? Maybe it was you that missed a birth. Maybe someone missed your birth. We want to know why you missed a birth? Maybe it was you that missed a birth. Maybe someone missed your birth. We want to know why you missed a birth. Maybe there's some drama, a reason why you weren't there. Joseph Parker's third child has been born,

and the third time he hasn't been there for, and we understand that, boy, he's got a very in-demand sports career and trainings and everything. But if you can be there to make it, you can be there to see it out, eh? Yeah. Would you say that to his face? Oh, God, no.

Jesus, are you nuts? I didn't even have him in my mind when I was saying it. I was imagining saying it to somebody more of my stature. Right, okay. Some text messages in. My husband missed both of our girls being born. He was milking the cows at the time and, well, I just did it.

That's a dairy farmer's attitude. Look, he's got to milk the cows. He's got to get all that sorted out. He's drenching this morning. I'll just get it. Tracy, your husband missed the birth. What happened? Waiting to give birth, my husband thought, well, ex-husband,

we're in for a long haul. I'm going to go and get a pie. Little did he know, by the time he went downstairs to get the pie, Olivia arrived and he missed the whole thing. Oh, my God. Did he get a telling off when he got back? No, because I did have very quick births. So I just thought, well, you know, he won't be long.

But, you know, he couldn't find a pie in the hospital. One that he wanted anyway. I was going to say, when you said, did he get a, I thought you were going to say like mince and cheese, steak. Yeah, I think he walked nearly the whole hospital to find something decent. So, yeah, it was a 10-minute birth, so I can't blame him. But he got back in time to at least hold her when she was just born.

Tracey, thanks for your call. Sam, your dad missed somebody's birth. Was it yours? Yeah, he missed my sister's. Oh, right, okay. Well, not yours at least. No, no, not mine, not mine. Rub that in her face.

So where was he? Fishing. F he? Fishing. Fishing? Fishing. He'd seen two. He didn't need to see another one, is what he told Mum. So he knew it was forthcoming, and he was like, I don't need to be here, I'll catch you later,

I'll bring home some Gurnard. Yeah, yeah. It's not whether he needs to see it or not. No, but it might have been a tough decision because the Bill Hohepper fishing calendar might have said great day for fishing. Like a big filled in fish. A big filled in fish. That means it's a good day for fishing on the Bill Hohepper calendar.

Thanks, Sam. Stacey, your dad or your partner missed a birth? No, my dad missed my birth. Oh, no. Okay, so you've obviously heard about this. What happened? Oh, yeah, I've heard about it a lot. So has my husband, actually.

There's a sort of a warning, don't do this. My dad actually stopped at the pub on the way to the hospital to wet the baby's head, as you do. Long story short, he ended up being arrested for DUI and spending the night in the drunk tank. Oh! Good, good, good. So was your mum, did she have any, was this pre-cell phones?

Did she have any idea that he was in prison? No, she just thought he didn't turn up and she was absolutely ropeable when she found out what happened because she had to go and bail him out the next day. Left me at the hospital and went and bailed him out. Yeah, prison's the least of his worries. Wait till she gets there.

They were probably willing to let him out a bit earlier. He's like, no, just keep me here longer. It's a bit easier. Hey, thanks you. Cool, Stacey. Somebody messaged in saying you just did this segment to make guys sound bad. Hey, thanks, you're cool, Stacey. Somebody messaged in saying, you just did this segment to make guys sound bad. Well, here's the thing about women, they can't kind of miss the birth of their child, can they?

Because it's coming out of them. And I mean, you were a party to it. Yeah. Please be there to at least hold our hand. For the other end of it. For the other end of it, yeah. Somebody said, my dad, when my mum was really pregnant, started saying, I've got a really sore stomach.

And mum was like, give it up. This isn't about you. And then mum went into labour. So they both had very sore stomachs. My dad needed surgery to have his appendix removed as I was being born. So he had a sore stomach. He had a sore stomach because his appendix was rupturing. Technically he was in hospital though.

He was maybe just in the opposite ward or floor down. Could they double bunk you? Could they double you get the other baby? Yeah, maybe. Well, who would go where, though? Would you go to the maternity or would they go to the general? Yeah, I don't know. I was at an army induction day with my dad

when my partner went into labour with our first child. When it became apparent we wouldn't make it to the hospital in time. My dad suggested we stop at the golf course for 18 holes in order to give the woman time to clear out of the hospital room. He was already a dad. My dad. So I assumed

you knew best and took his advice. He did not. He did not know best. 18 holes. He did not. No did not know best 18 holes He did not Not know best My dad was parking the car When I was born

Mum said It'll be a while You go find a car park So he didn't want to pay So he drove further away To try to find a free park And when he came back He'd missed my birth

Well you know Those hospital car parks Bloody Sting you Oh they sting you Yeah Unless you can get it validated And you can never find

Someone to validate it when it needs validating. Somebody else said, my mum said, meet me at the hospital to my dad. My dad was waiting at the hospital but mum didn't make it. She gave birth in the back seat of the car.

Oh, wow. So he kind of was there but we, I guess... That's on mum, that one. Yeah. Oh, okay. I like to think that's Google Maps' fault. Because you know every now and then it'll chuck you down a busy road and you're like,

you don't know everything, Google Maps. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- reading God and Chernobyl. Episode three where it was a bit like, I'm charging there as a tourist. When you see people melting away in hospital. Yeah.

It's a phenomenal show. No, I don't don't regret it though. Ah, nah, you'd be right. You'd go, wouldn't you? Yeah.

Yeah. Not too close. Absolutely not. I'd go. You said you were 200 metres of that away from the actual power plant.

How far, when you went, how far did you have to drive? Where was the fence? Did you go through like the exclusion zone? You go through a security checkpoint. You have to show your passport. Show or leave your passport? You get to take your passport. Oh, because the guys that made the show said they had to hand in their passports.

Maybe it's because they were like media. Yeah, we were on a tour. So, no, had to hand in their passports. Maybe it's because they were like media and... Yeah, we were on a tour. So no, I think we kept our passports. And then how far did you drive from the gate you went through to Pripyat and the power plant? Oh, it didn't seem like long, maybe 15 minutes. But you drive all around. So you do the tour through all over.

Right. But I think the whole exclusion zone is 30k radius or 20 something k radius. But originally it was way bigger, right? I think so, yeah. Because in the show they talk about a 200 kilometre. Oh, and it's not 200k. It's like, God, it'll take you from the checkpoint, it'll take you two hours to drive in. Yeah, well it takes you two hours to drive there from Kiev.

Right. And wasn't the 200k's the suggested? Not how much they actually did though. Oh yeah, no, he said 200 would be the absolute minimum and they did put a 200 on, but I think over time it dropped back down to the initial 30. People actually live and work in the exclusion zone now. Yeah.

No, thanks. I get freaked out when I look in the microwave too long. And I'm like, is my porridge ever... Oh, my God! Radiation! It's an amazing TV show, though. You can see why it's so highly rated. The most amazing.

And side note, the music and everything is phenomenal. The Icelandic composer who did it is also doing the upcoming Joker movie. Ooh, okay. Female Icelandic composer is doing it. You're on this huge nuclear energy buzz. Massive.

But one thing, and I'd never really thought about it, but what if, this is about today's fact of the day, there is a symbol that we will leave behind

if humanity becomes extinct. Yeah. Obviously, so global warming happens and everything floods. Yeah. And gets too hot and everything starts

putting out and our food goes and so we all end up not existing anymore. Yep. And gets too hot and everything starts putting out and our food goes. And so we all end up not existing anymore. Yep. If that happens, our nuclear power plants and the nuclear material and weapons is still going to be very, very active. Very, very active.

There's like a half-life of 12,500 years for some of this, meaning for 25,000 years it'll radiate and its half-life is 12,500 years. Aliens do come to Earth after we all become extinct because of our plastic bags. Yeah, and they don't read any of our languages in written form. There is a symbol that we will leave behind, and this was developed by many, many people.

This is the symbol that will be left behind to tell them not to go near the areas with nuclear waste. So there's the radioactive symbol that you'll all be well aware of. It looks kind of, if you put another circle around it it would look like one of those old reel-to-reel audio recorders. And then off that comes squiggly lines with arrows and then a skull and crossbones, pirate styles.

And then sort of the general running human figure that indicates this way to an exit. So I've got a problem with this. If aliens come, what if they look like octopuses or something? Exactly, we've never seen a human skull before. They might not have skulls or anything that looks like that.

Might not even have a head like that. What's this? What's this thing doing? And then they see them melting away and they're like that. Yeah. Might not even have a head like that. What's this? What's this thing doing? And then they see that melting away and they're like, oh, yeah. And it's a triangle, an equilateral triangle. Say they come and it's hanging from a pin at the top and that breaks a bolt and so it spins upside down. Vastly different sign. Yeah.

Vastly different sign. See, we've already picked holes in it. Who's in charge of putting up these signs right before we all die and become extinct I don't know I think that at all the places with nuclear

right waste or energy or anything just in case so they decided that the written language wasn't going to be very fitting for purpose

but if they did it would say this place is a message and part of a system of messages pay attention and then it goes on to say so imagine you didn't know what nuclear power was and you started reading It would say, this place is a message and part of a system of messages. Pay attention. And then it goes on to say, so imagine you didn't know what nuclear power was and you started reading about this.

You'd think it was a monster. This danger is present in your time as it was in ours. The danger to the body and it will kill. The form of the danger is an emanation of energy. The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited. Sounds like it's ominous, isn't it? Well, it's nuclear energy, man.

I think it's alright to err on the side of caution with your language there. So today's fact of the day is there is a symbol that will be hopefully survive whatever ends humanity in case aliens come to, or whoever inherits the Earth after us,

doesn't know what nuclear energy is or the dangers of it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A grandmother in the US, her complaint has gone viral. Her name's Martha, or Martha J is her handle. Yep. So she needed 63 footlong subs for her grandson's confirmation party. How many people are coming to a confirmation party? Footlongs too.

But are they chopping those up into little bits? Sharing bits. Or sharing, I don't know. Sharing portions. But she didn't have a very good time at Subway and she posted this complaint. As a last minute resort, me and my sister went to Subway to get 63 footlong

subs for my grandson's confirmation party and had to wait for over an hour for the subs. Ridiculously long wait and the lady who took my order seemed very annoyed with me. Just doing some quick maths. If there's one person working, that's one a minute. That's not too bad. One minute to make a foot long sub. And it doesn't say if they're all different or if they're all the same. But that's everyone's comment is that I think this is actually a pretty fast rate.

Yeah. And you've ordered 63 subs. You know what would be more annoying than them taking a minute per sub? Being the person who arrived just after that. Oh, my God. Yeah, I would have walked out. So, I don't know if this is

a satire account or whether this is just a punishing grandma. It sounds like it's a punishing. This is why I couldn't work in customer service. No, but she has, it's not her first complaint. So here's another one. I ate four five layer beef burritos from here last Wednesday and my stomach hurt so badly I had to go to the another one. I ate four five-layer beef burritos from here last Wednesday and my stomach

hurt so badly I had to go to the emergency room. I ate four five-layer burritos. This is Taco Bell she's talking about. I mean, not huge, but still. I ate Wendy's and McDonald's within the two hours previous, so I can't be sure of the culprit, but I mostly threw up

beef and cheese, so I suspect it was the Taco Bell. See, now I mostly threw up beef and cheese, so I suspect it was the Taco Bell. See, now I think she's just taken the Mac. Or is it a troll account? Martha is her name. But it's also something like an old lady would complain about, like so you don't know. I'm not sure.

Like satire slash too close to home. Also, who's waiting till just before you've got to go to the confirmation to order the food and... Oh, you pre-order that. Yes, I'll be there by 10.30 to pick it up. And then get 63 Subway footlongs. Because you're never going to satisfy everyone with the exact same footlong. No, you mix it up.

You've got to mix it up, don't you? Same sauce. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. You may have noticed in the South Island, Christchurch particularly affected, that there was an orange or just a general citrus shortage. This was a citrus shortage caused by shipping. It was a shipping issue.

Some places completely running out of oranges. But great news is they're back. Oranges, the situation has been sorted. Great. And citrus is back on the shelves. One thing I like about it getting cold and getting into winter is the mandis. Lots of mandis. You know I love my mandis.

Mandarins. Well, Invercargill would agree. Apparently a record set last week with Satsuma mandarin purchases. Really? Are they the Easy Peel Satsuma? Easy Peel. They're so young. I mean, get rid of it.

We are living in 2019 and there's still mandarins that are hard to peel with big seeds in them? Are you for real? Come on. Yeah. Let's cut them right down. This might sound weird, but I always thought oranges came around in summer. I don't know. They feel very, I guess it's because they look like the sun.

Why are mandis around when it's real cold? Do they pick them in summer and store them? Are we getting Northern Hemisphere? No, because the citrus, I've never had a citrus tree before. A functioning citrus tree. But I've got them now because we moved and like they're setting an orange up.

I'm like, what are you jerkers doing? It's all cold in there. Because California's famous for oranges. And Valencia. It's hot. Valencia.

So what? Does it get cold there? So we don't know anything about growing citrus. They're freaking me out. I'm like, should you be getting ready? What are you?

Are you okay? Are you not okay? Right. It's been a warm autumn. Back to normal now though though, for the oranges. Oh, that's good news. Because, like, what's your mum going to be in charge of bringing for halftime sports? Well, you see, they're always ready in winter, aren't they?

Because you'd always have oranges. Yeah, it's rugby. Yeah, winter sports. Yeah. For a... I don't know why. What for? Sugar boost?

Yeah, maybe. Was it a sugar boost? A natural sugars boost? Well, now we've just got Powerade, don't know why. Sugar boost? Yeah, maybe. Was it a sugar boost? A natural sugars boost? Well, now we've just got Powerade, don't we? Because it's not like at halftime you depleted all your vitamin C. Yeah, no. And you need... Yeah, just a bit of energy.

Or was it because they were abundant? Maybe. Does the tradition of an orange at a halftime at a rugby or any sort of winter sports, is that because every New Zealander used to have a citrus tree and they were the fruit that was available at the time? It was just the cheapest fruit at the supermarket. What about a banana?

Banana would be a better option for our time. Yeah, but you'd eat heaps of bananas. Go a half banana. Yeah, and it's quite stodgy bananas, whereas... And you'd need to like... Oranges are half liquid, aren't they? It's quite liquidy. Yeah.

So it says here, I've Googled, eating orange halves at half time will help keep you hydrated as oranges have high water content. What about watermelon? Well, you know what's got higher water content than a quarter of an orange? Water.

Water. So you would just drink water, wouldn't you? But it's got sugar for energy. My goodness, I saw a netball Queensland bans oranges at half time. This was in 2009.

What? Surely that ban was in 2009. What? Surely that ban's been lifted. Why? No, tooth decay, enamel. Because of the citric acid? Burning all your teeth. High acid levels. Yeah, potential harm to children's teeth.

I think there's other things they're eating that have a lot more. The fat kids sitting at home not playing sport or having another chocolate bar, they're like, ha, losers. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.