ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 29 2018

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

This Can't Leave The Room, Community Notices and when did no one tell you that you had something on your face?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Sparks. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. ZDM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I tell you what, I might be in prison for committing murder, but if I got my newspaper and someone had done the puzzles... Ooh!

Ooh! There'd be another murder. Liveable. You'd be liveable. Ropeable. Rope it. Ropeable. I'd be liveable.

Oh, God. I hope I'd be liveable. Someone wouldn't be bloody liveable, though. It's too cold. Do my Sudoku's. It is cold. It's cold. I've just sent this to a friend in Christchurch.

I'm just winding up our mate Alice in Christchurch. She's always telling us how hard they're doing it down there. It's actually four degrees in Auckland at the moment, and it's four degrees in Christchurch and Dunedin as well. Good Lord. So we're, you know, I'm not saying it's a competition, but we feel your pain there. But it is.

But Hamilton, apparently only two degrees at the moment. So the lowest in the country right now, officially, according to the Met service, minus 3.9 in Alexandra. The highest, Wellington, Lyle Bay, the temperature taken there in Lyle Bay, 8.5. Because it's raining in Wellington, I think. Yeah. So, chilly one. It's very chilly.

I was just going to look. Oh, actually, it's no good because I always look at St. Petersburg in Russia. Oh, yeah. I don't even know why that's on my phone. But it's a balmy 19 degrees. Oh, what? It's a balmy 19 degrees at prison. It's quite a hard pill to swallow this morning.

That Russia's warmer than us everywhere. Very warm, very warm. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines for three stories that are found online. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following headlines. Headline one, Grandma lifts bra. Headline two, and you thought your commute to work was bad.

Headline three, previous record beat by 52 centimetres. 52. 52 centimetres. Three very mysterious headlines. I mean, grandma lifts bras. Grandma is doing some weightlifting. Yeah. And more than I can do.

Really? She does like a, what's that one where you bring it up? Snatch and jerk. Yeah, deadlift. A deadlift. Megan's right, it's a deadlift. I just took a shot there. I don't know what one it was.

Oh, real. She's like, outdoes me. Like in triple figs? To what's 220 pounds? 100 kgs. Oh, yep, yep. More than me. How old is grandma?

I can probably do that, but I don't want to do that. Because, like, technically, my nan, she was a grandma at 46. And, like, nowadays, that'd be a young grandma these days, wouldn't it? Yeah. Oh, no, I'm seeing a photo of your shoulder. 78. And she can do a hundy. Yeah, do you want to see?

I mean, it's rubbish radio, but yeah, she's like old. She's 78. Get out. And then she's like, no. Yeah. That's like 115 kgs. I don't think I could. Oh, no, I probably could, but I wouldn't want to do that much.

She has tight slacks. I mean, I could do one and then my back would be. That's all about the booty, though, isn't it? She's wearing one of those, you know, those like hardcores at the gym have that belt around their waist? Oh, yeah, right. She's wearing one of those. She'd need it. I don't know.

I need a full body brace. If I was going to do that. Yeah. I'd need somebody to hold it all in. Well, you've kind of elicited that story out of me. Yeah. It was a great trip. Commute to work was bad

or what was the third one? Previous record beat by 52 centimetres. I think I want commute to work as bad. Okay. I've been talking to some friends that are commuting. I've been giving my friend Rawiri a lot of shit about his e-bike.

Like an unfair amount. I even felt myself starting to feel bad about the amount of heat that I was pulling on this e-bike. Because it is, I didn't really think about that. Because I see people whiz past me on their e-bikes and I'm on my bike. And I'm like, you smug little. But then like, I don't really take into account the people that wouldn't bike in the first place and it makes it a lot easier for them. Well, he told me his resting heart rate's gone from 63

pre-Christmas to 58 now. So he said, I've got to be pedalling. That's got to be some fitness. My resting heart rate's dropped. Oh, it just annoys me that a fit person wouldn't get a normal bike. It's lazy. But that's what I said, that's sort of your working awards. But I can see why he does it because his commute has gone from like an hour each way to 35

and he's getting exercise. Oh, that's brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, that's perfect. Although on a morning like this, you'd need your gloves. I'd go full gloves too. I see people wearing fingerless gloves. I'm like, no, the end of my fingers are the bits that get cold

you need a ski suit with wind chill you're just biking on your e-bike in a ski suit there's no reason you couldn't have a ski suit on

no there's no reason just get changed if you get it too hot just open one of the little zips oh no what the link is bad

well it's not letting me open the story because I'm using an ad blocker oh boy I've had a good chat The link is there. Well, it's not letting me open the story because I'm using an ad blocker. Oh, boy, I've had a good chat. I could open that at home and maybe it's giving me, I think I could only have five reads of stories on this website.

Anyway, the gist of the story is that a mum in China and a small community have to use a zip line across a river that's too dangerous to build a bridge over, apparently. Fun! Or use a boat, rather. So the small community will zipline across and back every day. That sounds awesome! Just to get to home and school. You said you think your commute's bad.

Well, it is bad now compared to that awesome way of getting to school. Well, look at the kid, though. How old's that kid? Five? Four? Oh, though. How old's that kid? Five? Four? Oh, yeah. Hang on. You just got to have a quick look before the ad blocker thing comes up.

Okay, I'm having a quick look. Yeah, yeah, like three or four. That's how I like to do all my internetting. Having a quick look. Oh, he's two. He's two. Hang on. I'll refresh again.

This is a photo of a 40-year-old mother from... Oh, no. Ad block again. Ad block again. Ad block again. Ad block. I am going to use an ad blocker, thank you, because I don't like

all your stupid ads. Can you just pause it on that site so we can read it? Well, no, I can't. I can't, because then the ad blocker thing comes up.

It blocks his whole screen. I can see it. No, up in the right-hand corner. You put pause on the site. Oh, no, I don't do that. I'm not giving in to them. I'm not giving them what they want.

If the site comes up with you've run out of, you can't read because you don't pay. Wait, so you've got an ad blocker installed on your computer to stop pop-ups. Yep. But this place is like, we make our money by forcing you to watch 15-second Sea Lord ads.

Yeah. How long have I been fishing? Since I was about 18 months old, if you ask my father? If I get that YouTube ad on one more time, I'll sink the lot. I'll sink all the entire place. I haven't had that ad. Why am I being unfairly targeted with the fish ads? Every time I open up YouTube, it's that ad.

Right. Maybe just get that and buy some fish. I do. It's like they know. They keep wanting me to buy more fish. So you've got an ad blocker, so it's like you can't read our site because you're not reading our ads. Yes, basically.

But then I'm saying you can pause it for that site so you can actually read the story that we're trying to talk about. But you will then get the pop-up ad. Yeah, because then I'm going to get it. But you're so stubborn, you don't want to do that. Yeah. And you're costing us hearing the more details of the story. This is us doing your job.

You won't give in. I won't give in. To reading an ad for the purpose of your employment. Also, if anybody gives me a pre-roll ad before I read a news story, I'm boycotting your product. Don't come in here and shove your ads in my face. It's a bold statement for someone who works for a media company. Who literally make their

money off advertising. A huge part of which are the pre-roll for the news department. And I think we've been the pre-roll. I want everything to be free, Megan. Alright? Okay. I don't want to pay for anything. I want it all for nothing.

F.M.S. It's cold, guys. It's cold. Yes, it's cold. It's cold all over the country. It's pretty cold. The weekend was cold, and thus it caused the opposite of fanpocalypse, which is in the middle of summer when everyone forgets it's going to be hot and goes out and buys fans in their droves. Yeah.

We need a better name for this, and it can't end in apocalypse. Oh, what about heatageddon? Heatageddon? Heatageddon? But that sounds like a summer thing. Like it's too warm. It's too hot. Chill.

Chill. Go. Chill something. Chillpocalypse would have been really good, but we can't use apocalypse because of the fanpocalypse. Fanageddon? Let's confirm fans. When we're buying fans, fanageddon.

This can be coolpocalypse. Coolpocalypse. Chillpocalypse. I like chillpocalypse. Sounds like a deadly but delicious popsicle. So what is this, blankets, heaters? Electric blankets, thicker duvets, everything. And this is across the board.

This isn't just one outlet experiencing it. Warehouse chief executive said that it went 100% increase in sale of electric heaters in the weekend just gone. Heaters were the most searched items on the warehouse's online store. The Briscoe Group managing director said electric blankets have become outstandingly popular. It's the Briscoe's lady, eh, that's the managing director?

Yeah, Tammy. Thank you. And said, could sell out fans in January. In fact, it'll become, you know, it's coming very close. 60% more heaters, electric blankets and duvet inners between Thursday and Sunday.

I'd love to see the graph of New Zealand's power usage like last week and then last night. I'm not even ashamed to say we've had, we've got two heat pumps in our house and we've had both going pretty much. Oh, your power bill is going to be spinning. We have been so toasty warm, though.

I've refused to put the heat pump on because I've got that graph on my power thing and every day you put the heat bubble on, the graph is very high. No, yeah, ignorant bliss. Right up until you get the power bill and then shock and awe and then bash straight back into it. I was wearing a puffer jacket inside yesterday. No, no, no, no.

That's so New Zealand, eh? I don't live in 2018 to live with a puffer jacket inside. I don't get up this early in the morning to wear it. I'm wearing it. Yesterday I was in my undies on the couch watching TV. And I was sweaty. Your Powerbill is going to be through the roof. Granted, 28 is probably a little high.

Yes. But, you know. Tropical. Put a bit of sand on the floor and it's just to be through the roof. Granted, 28's probably a little high. Yes. But, you know, tropical. Put a bit of sand on the floor and it's just like you're in Fiji. The windows will be sweating. And this is pretty crazy. Kadrona, the Alpine Resort in Kadrona Valley down south, they're opening for a little bit of a preview of the season. So limited facilities, though.

Like, not all the lists are going to be all the lists. Oh yeah, not everything. But apparently I read yesterday they had 65 centimetres of snow. A base? Yeah. Or just, wow, okay. I was just like what? So they're having a pre-season, they're calling it a pre-season teaser on Saturday and Sunday. Which for May is pretty crazy. Because I

remember some years we've been moaning that there's been no snow, even in June. Well they say May and the locals will be saying it. Snow in May will go away. Snow in June, probably too soon. There's not one for July because then it gets cold. It's just all everywhere, isn't it? The snow will hang around.

Well, that's what they're saying. These temperatures we've got are winter temperatures. Because technically it's not winter yet. We've had it too good for too long. We had a very mild autumn. Well, those in Wanaka, it'll be worth it heading up to the mountain because fuel's like the most expensive in the country. So $2.44 a litre for 91.

Somebody sent me a photo yesterday in Wanaka at the BP. That is madness. A litre. Okay. That's going to be the first place to crack three bucks, eh? Because they reckon that'll happen in six months around the country. Those places will definitely

be the first that are isolated. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello! Welcome to today's Top Six. The creator of Lifeline Robot Droids thinks humans will be marrying them by 2025. Dave Hansen, who famously created a creepy robot called Sophia,

also apparently has been having sex with him on the down low. He hasn't. He won't admit it, but he has. He definitely has. The problem is, like, he's got all the robotics and everything sorted. But I think he really needs to team up with a special effects team, like Weta or something, because look how god-awful creepy that robot's face is.

Oh, yeah, you. No, that's not good. That's awful, isn't it? Yeah. Do they cover up that big metal bit at the back? Yeah, with some hair. Oh, yeah. Eventually, that's the robot without its wig on.

Oh, okay. So when you're vigorously making love to the robot, just don't hold the back of its head too much. You'll feel the moving bits and be like, oh, is that a wire? Nothing kills the moment, eh? Like taking the wig off and seeing all the wires and panels. Oh, it happened to me once.

Tough time, tough time. Nah, so the top six other things we should be doing with droids before we start marrying them. Which, by the top six other things we should be doing with droids before we start marrying them. Which, by the way, he thinks by 2045 they'll be advanced enough and we'll be desperate enough to be marrying them. Number six, they should be waiting on hold for us because I've got stuff to do that doesn't involve waiting on hold. Like playing Fortnite.

I was playing Fortnite the other day because I was on hold. I was like, I'll just start a game of Fortnite. And then just as I'm dropping. Yeah. They're like, hello. I'm like, oh, God. Can you not pause it? No, no, because it's live play with 99 other people.

And I'm parachuting in. So I had to get my parachute on and skydive to an isolated part of the map. And then just like hide in a bush while I dealt with my insurance issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, I don't know, I've got to run. The storm's coming. Number five. Are you just forever on the phone to insurance?

I feel like I've spent a long time. You crashed your car again. That's right. Yeah, I backed into Arthur. It's a lovely man. Like, hi, Spithy. He was very chill. Oh, good day, mate.

Oh, good day, mate. Number five on the list of the top six other things to do with droids before we start marrying them. Making them attend all of the meetings that you have to go to. Because who's got time for all of these meetings? Staff meetings. So many meetings. Any meetings. I'll just send my robot because I don't know if you guys caught the memo,

but I've got a game of Fortnite to play. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other things to do with droids before we start marrying them. Number four, criticizing their driving. It's a staple of any relationship. Yep. The droid will be driving and you'll go, oh, you're following too closely.

And the droid will even then say, you drive then. And you'll say, no, I don't want to drive. I just want you to drive better. Classic relationship stuff. Number three on the list of the top six things to do with droids before we start marrying them is cheat on them with other household appliances like the magic bullet or the toaster. Don't put your penis in a toaster. No, from experience.

Right. Nah, I've never put my penis in a toaster. Thank you for clearing that up. You're very guilty. Why did you even say that? Well, if it's unplugged. You know, like when you put a knife in it, make sure it's unplugged. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Definitely have it out of the wall. And not having recently cooked a crumpet because that could still be really hot. Number two on the list of the top six other things to do with droids before you start marrying them is have a weird non-argument about what's for dinner. Droids, you don't even eat dinner. Why are we arguing? Because you won't decide. I can't decide. I'm spoiled for dinner. Droids, you don't even eat dinner. Why are we arguing? Because you won't decide. I can't decide.

I'm spoiled for choice. And the number one thing we should start doing with droids before we start marrying them. I'm not marrying a droid until I have had sex with one. But Vaughn, I hear you say, what about the sanctity of marriage and the no sex before marriage? It says so in the Bible.

Ha! Does it mention droids, Christians? No, it doesn't. Bible loophole. It's time for some guilt-free sluttiness with all the robots. Wow, it doesn't say that in the Biblai, does it? No. I'd like to see them work that one in there.

Oh, no. Leviticus 2.4. Thou shalt not lie with mechanical beasts. See? Says robots. It doesn't! Let me sleep with the robots! That's today's top six.

Fletchford and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening on local Facebook pages around New Zealand. First, let's go to the, first today, let's go to the Papakura and Takanini page. Okay. South Auckland.

Ben writes on there, and this is, mind you, five hours after joining the page, because whoever sent me the screen cap, it says underneath there, new member. A little wavy face. Oh, right, okay. A little wavy hand. So five hours after he joined, he says, does anyone know how dark it's going to be tonight? I was planning on doing stuff, but if it's too dark,

I won't be able to. What? What's he up to? At time of screen cap, 107 comments. Right. Most I'm imagining asking, what the bloody hell are you talking about, Ben? Yeah.

What do you need to do? But there's a full moon at the moment, so that does, it's a little bit lighter. I know the moon this morning was very big. Why did you make it sexual? Why did you go all creepy? Very big. It's very big and white. Very big and white.

Huge. It wasn't meant to be sexual. It surprised me. I came around the corner. I was like, hello, moon. There was't meant to be sexual. It surprised me. I came around the corner. I was like, hello, moon. There was a street light last night. No, it was a moon. Yeah.

Oh, mooney moon. So not as dark for Ben tonight. No, no. Let's go further south now from Papakura and Takanini to the Hamilton area where Quick Deals Only has a post from Baz Walsh. Okay. Who's done one of those things where he puts a coloured background.

Oh, I hate those. You know when you're making a Facebook status, if it's under a certain amount of letters, you can put a coloured background. He's gone for a plain magenta. Okay. White text. 16 gigabyte USB with the latest movies full up on it.

15 bucks, pick up only. I didn't think, when we first started doing community notices, gigabyte USB with the latest movies full up on it. $15 pick up only. I didn't think, when we first started doing community notices, this was a very popular post. It was, yeah. You know, people were always trying to sell pirated movies and stuff, but I haven't seen one of these for a long while. It's a little bit of a feels like a look back into the archives. It's

entrepreneurial, but it's illegal. Yeah. It is. Yeah. While we're in the white cut though, let's go to the Te Amuru and surrounding areas grapevine. Now, this is an older post, but it's illegal. Yeah, it is. Yeah. While we're in the white cut, though, let's go to the Te Amuru and surrounding areas grapevine. Now, this is an older post, but it's good. Lynn writes, I want people to be very aware when you require house and pet sitters because we've just returned from nine days away in the South Island to find that the sitter was a prostitute.

Men coming and going, and this was found out after reviewing our home security footage. Where did she find a pet sitter from? I don't know, but wouldn't that be the ultimate if you were a prostitute? Just house sit? Yeah, well, it's free.

Yeah, it's a free house, isn't it? I mean, chuck the sheets in the wash before you leave, please, but, um... God, this is a problem when I get a house sitter. Well, Anya usually doesn't. You've got to choose. You've got to choose people wisely, don't you? You've used intern Anya before.

Are you a prostitute? See men coming and going. Excuse me. Have you heard the rest of this? No, it was a compliment. Who was coming and going from my house when you were house sitting? Just you and the boyfriend? Only 95 of my clothes

is free. Yeah. 80 of which. I wonder if there was a party. A friend clients. Yeah, we all went. I call all my clients friends. Big party.

Well, that's what makes you a great prostitute. Thank you. I've always said that. Roger Sloan writes on his local community page to all the magic mushroom hunters out there

because it is magic mushroom hunters out there, because it is magic mushroom season. Should we have said his whole name? Probably not. Retrospectively, let's bleep that in the podcast. No one can remember his name. I don't care what you do to your brain or your internal organs. That's your business.

But what pisses me off is the rubbish you leave behind when you come searching for magic mushrooms. Ziploc bags, energy drink cans, and takeaway wrappers. If you're going to take it in with you, you can bloody well take it out with you. I'm over spending my time cleaning up people's rubbish. Good on him. Now, Rog, that's a good, because he's like, you know, I'm not against you doing it. I don't, you know, do it myself.

Whatever. But please don't leave a mess. Hiking in any of our national parks or anywhere, you take in, if you're going to take it in, do it myself. Whatever. But please don't leave a mess. But that's like hiking in any of our national parks or anywhere. You take in, if you're going to take it in, take it out. Yes. Take only photographs. Leave only footprints. Or just do what Vaughan does in the heart, dock hut, and just burn it all.

Burn it all. If it burns. Only if it burns. Only if it burns. Only if it burns. Gas canisters don't burn. I learned that the hard way. So did the Department of Conservation.

RIP that hard. No. I'm actually even very reluctant to burn anything. Joe writes on the Buy and Sell New Plymouth page. Now, this might be of interest to you. This sort of filth is happening in your hometown. Okay. This comes to the two men in the public toilets today by the wind wand.

Around 11.30am, you dirty bastards. There were families with children in the elderly waiting to use those toilets while you were in there doing whatever you were doing while your dog was barking in your white covered-in scooter. What's a white covered-in scooter? You took it like an old mate's scooter. Like a mobility scooter. Yeah. It's a white? Are you talking like an old mate scooter? Like a mobility scooter. Yeah.

It had a number plate on it. She says what the number plate is. I shan't. Okay. You're sick in the head and you need help. There is a time and a place for this sort of thing, and it is definitely not in the public toilets by the windmill at 11.30 in the morning.

Wow. Wait, a covered-in scooter is kind of like what they deliver the mail. Like a postie. Yeah, it cupboard and scooter is kind of like what they deliver the mail. Like a postie. Yeah, it's a mobility scooter. Do we know that wasn't like a carer helping some elderly gent? I don't know. Maybe Joe's jumped into the deep end of the conclusion pool. What if Joe's like, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe they look guilty, though. They come out. Yeah. I don't know. Joe is not having it. New P come out. I don't know. New Plymouth. Goodness. I know.

It's happening everywhere. The whole world's going to hell in a hand basket. And finally today from the Whitby New Zealand community page, Dear Whitbrarians, writes Lance, Can someone please help settle an argument that the wife and I are having at the moment? For all you Mr. Whippy aficionados, does the Whippy franchise run an undercover program?

Or fleet or something? What? Just at coming home around Browns Bay car park about 20 minutes ago, just after 3pm, I swear on all of my precious bits that I saw a mufti Whie mobile parked up. The wife reckons it was just a camper van. A mufti!

I am not convinced. Like a mufti police car. Yeah, but a mufti whippie van. Surely it was a camper van or a food truck or something, right? Or just a Ford Courier. There's a white one with blue edging that that's called like Mr. Whip Whip or something. Frosty Man. Just enough to get around the Mr. Whippy

trademark. Skirt copyright laws. Mr. Whip Whip. Lance says all replies greatly appreciated and please quote argument reference 20180523-15 in your responses. Thanks in advance. It's a man who appreciates a good argument

because he's got a good, strong reference number. We're going to see how you're walking along and all of a sudden a van pulls up. Ice cream. And it goes... It's like a dubstep remix. Just on the down low. Do you want a...

Do you want a soft serve? Oh, no, thank you. No, I wasn't. It was just a joke. Don't tell anyone I was here. I think they need a lot of loud music and a big sign to let people know they're coming. Stealth.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FVMZM on Facebook. There's a study being done by the University of Alabama. This has specifically helped overweight men lose weight. Okay. But this could be something that actually not only helps you lose weight, but could

lower blood pressure, curb diabetes, and makes you less hungry for snacks. So the idea is... Is it not eating? Kind of. Oh for snacks. So the idea is... Is it not eating? Kind of. Oh, okay. But that actually makes my snacks. If I don't eat, I get a real craving for snacks. Because I got a pottle yesterday of those Fruzy Balls. You know those things?

Oh, yes. Fruz Balls? Yeah, Fruz Balls. Fruzy? Well, you don't say the Z, I don't think. No, no, no. No, the E. Because I don't know if it was that brand.

It was like, you know how there's heaps of different of those delicious balls? You are right, though, because, like, what are they called? Bliss Balls. Yeah. Is that their non-branded name? But then Fruise Balls have become like sellotape is to sticky tape. Like glad wrap. Yeah.

Still high in shugs, though. I know that's the thing. I ate nearly three quarters of a whole one of those tubs. But I thought it was like dates. Yeah. I thought it was dates sugar or something. Yeah, but well, it is still sugar though, isn't it? Oh, is it?

Yeah. Just because it's sugar. Oh, God. No one rubbing it wrong. Next thing you'll be telling me, candy floss is sugar too. It's all sugar. It's all sugar. Oh.

Yeah. So this study says that you should eat all your meals before 3 p.m. Can't do that. When can you start eating again, though? Next morning. What if I got up at, like, 12 o'clock? But so say the average person gets up at 7. You'd have to have a pretty big breakfast, and you'd have to have a huge lunch.

And then you'd have to be snacking. No, you're not supposed to have huge lunches. You're supposed to just keep it the same. Wait, but you're having your breakfast, your lunch and your dinner all before three or you're just down to two meals? No, all your food before three. So you'd have your dinner, yeah, at like

three o'clock. Yeah, I'd be going to bed at like 5.30. That's the trouble. Sometimes, like, if I'm really hungry, I'll have dinner at like 5.30 But then it gets to like 8.30 And you're starving I know And then you're like Just go to sleep

And sleep the Pucker away I'll drink my tears As I go to sleep That's so salty like chips Now I want chips But yeah that's Because there's so many diets

That involve fasting And fasting diets Seem to boost metabolism and health. So they were looking into it, the study, and said that it would be better to eat the same amount but finish at 3 o'clock. And apparently it can lower blood pressure, can curb diabetes, and men especially lost weight. I've got a mate of mine that does the fasting and he puts his meals on Instagram stories

when he's like breaking the fast with this and then writes how many calories and stuff are on it. Yeah, I mean, he's pretty close to being muted, to be honest. But I'm always like, man, that meal looks yum, but I don't want to have to not eat for 15 hours to have that at the end. Can I just have that three times? He doesn't eat for 15 hours. have that at the end. Can I just have that three times? He doesn't eat for 15 hours.

Well, you think about it. If you start eating at 3 o'clock in the morning, that's 6 o'clock the next morning you can break the fast. I'm sure he even does longer ones. I'm sure every now and then he chucks in a 20. But food's so yum. I'm just not made for that. Yeah, nah, neither.

I'm not made like that. Oh, it's how all the bloody cavemen did it. Yeah, but the cavemen didn't have Netflix or, like, PlayStation either. I'm not going back to that. The fridge is right there. Yeah, they didn't have fridges. Yeah. They didn't have supermarkets.

You have to go to the front and get food, and I couldn't be bothered doing that either. Nah, me neither. Some days you just feel like, not today, Oogdug. We're just staying in the cave. I've just built this fire. I don't know where you're going. I mean, this is amazing.

This is technology right here. Where are you going? Outside? Oh, well, good luck to you. Sabre to the tigers out there. I'll tell you where they're not. In here by the fire. Just have another sleep, I think.

Yeah, I'd be skinny too if it was that hard to get food. But it's not. We should be proud of the fact that we can get fat easy. It shows how advanced we are as a species. We're the only species that goes for a run to burn calories. Everything else has to hunt to get calories.

Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The Podcast. Now a reason why you should never fall in love. From Mr. Robot himself. You can die of a broken heart. I've found a story guys. Okay. Go on.

So you can die of a broken heart and women are twice as vulnerable as men. Because they're way more emotional right? Yeah well a cardiac surgeon's done a big interview with the Daily Mail and basically talking about when you're in grief. The extra stress it puts on your heart?

Yeah, basically, yeah. So women are much more likely to be affected by broken heart syndrome. Up to 90% of patients with this disease are female. Women may be perceived as more emotional than men, but that is unlikely to be the explanation. Oh, right. It's like a cellular body signals and hormone thing. Because wasn't there, I think, in New Zealand, because you know the notebook,

we always say, you know, the notebook ending. Yeah. Where they die in each other's arms, minutes apart, seconds apart. Yeah. There was another one of those in New Zealand, like a few weeks back. Yeah, didn't they die only a couple of days apart?

Because my wife's grandparents died on the same day, and people are like, there's quite a romantic underlining story there, but not really because they didn't like each other. Right, well, one study showed that on the first day after losing a loved one, the risk of a heart attack is 16 times greater than normal. Some studies report a 66-fold increase in the death rate of widowers in the first 30 days. Just from grieving and stress. Yeah.

Because that's what happened to Carrie Fisher's mum as well. You know Carrie Fisher from Star Wars and other things, but not as well known as Star Wars. She died and then her mum... Drop Dead Fred. Was she in Drop Dead Fred? No. Who was in Drop Dead Fred? Winner. No, she was in Drop Dead Fred? Winner?

No, she was in Beetlejuice. I don't know, Rick Mayall? Was Carrie Fisher in Drop Dead Fred? I don't think so. I don't think Carrie Fisher was in Drop Dead Fred. I mean, I know that that's one of your favourite movies. That was one of the first conversations. She was, and you owe me an apology.

Was she? Where did she blame you? She was the mum or something, I think. Was she? I do apologise. I know this is one of your favourite movies because it was one of the first things we've ever talked about. It was.

It's great. And you're like, do you like the movie Drop Dead Fred? I was like, um. Are you kidding? Sure I did. Was it your opener? I can't remember. It was one of them.

Holy shit. It's only got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. That is disgusting. Drop Dead Fred. Is that actually one of your favourite movies? Well, I just watch it all the time when I was a kid. What? So stupid. He loves it. the time when I was a kid. What? So stupid.

He loves it. It's about an imaginary friend. Friend, yeah. Yeah, and he's the imaginary friend. Is it Winona Ryder? Yeah, Winona Ryder. Yeah. So she was in Drop Dead Friend and Beetlejuice.

She was seeing a lot of things people weren't seeing. No, it was Phoebe Cates. Oh, okay. Not Winona Ryder. No, not Winona Ryder. Sort of a poor man's Winona Ryder. Yes. Yeah, she was.

They went for Winona Ryder. Wasn't available. 5.9 out of 10 on IMDb, but that is... 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. A real slap in the face for RIP Rick Mayall. Haven't seen that for a long time, that movie, but... Probably not aging well. We'll leave it in the past.

Many 80s movies aren't aging well, I wouldn't say. No. You might die of a broken heart if you went back and watched... Yeah. ...Drop Dead Fred with hopes of it being as great as you remember. I apologise. Carrie Fisher was in Drop Dead Fred. I apologise.

Thank you. But her mum died of a broken heart. Yes. Well, and other stuff. But she, just after Carrie Fisher died, apparently they were like best friends and she took it real hard and it was too much for her. So that's what I'm saying.

Just don't even bother. Don't fall in love. Don't develop human connections. Just make it easier in the long run. You might be mildly inconvenienced by grief one day. What's easier is never falling in love ever at all. To avoid that moment of heartbreak. And possible death.

I'm just saying it could kill you, the heartbreak. Love could kill us all. Love could kill us all. Love could kill us all. Right. And that's my warning for you today. Solid life lesson from you today. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you for that shiny outlook on life. FVM, the podcast. Do you ever go shopping with anybody who's a receipt checker? No. Yeah. Is Mr. Toyboy a receipt checker? Yeah. Yeah. Is Mr. Toyboy a receipt checker? Yeah. Strike me down.

I'm surprised you two have lasted this long because he's fiscally responsible and you're a loose ghost. He is so, yeah. Because he runs spreadsheets, doesn't he, for your savings. Yeah, and like a navigation on our budgets. It's so annoying.

So will he receipt check to make sure the price that was written on the item matches to what you paid for it? Yeah, and then like when you're in self-scan checkouts, he's always checking that that's what the price was. But does he write it down as he's going around? Like when you go with your shopping list, then does he write

a 250 and then, oh yeah, that correlates next. No, he just remembers. No, but also, you know when you get meat and it's like reduced? Yeah. Because you just scan it, you don't correlates next. No, but also, you know when you get meat and it's, like, reduced? Yeah. Because you just scan it. You don't think about it. It's not always, they haven't always put the reduced price on. And he's always double checking and then he's like, excuse me?

No, that's a problem. I had that the other day. I scanned something and I'm pretty sure it wasn't reduced to the special price. Yeah. But I was at the self-serve checkout and I'm like, oh, but then I'm going to have to go and talk to them. Then they're going to have to be like, wait here, I'll go and check. And like for a dollar, I was just like, oh, and I'm probably wrong.

I'm like, maybe I'm wrong. I was looking at the wrong thing and I'm just like, it doesn't matter. Surprising for you. That's bad though, eh? Because normally I would say something, but eh, effort. It's so embarrassing though. Like, constant. And then like, as you're walking away, checking the receipt in front of the checkout operator,

I'm like, don't in the car. He's like, no, but what if I need to go back? I don't even like taking the receipt with me. As soon as they give it to me, I'm like, where's a bin to put this in? I never check the receipts and I never check when I'm scanning or when it's being scanned through.

You're missing out on your test paint special on the back of the docket. And our hot springs voucher. We've got blank dockets. Oh, do you? Yeah, we don't have vouchers. Voucher dockets. Just plain blank dockets.

They're not allowed nice things out west. Like self-suit checkouts. Docket specials. Where you can go to some hotel you've never heard of, miles away from where you live, and pay for three nights but get four somewhere where you wouldn't even spend one night. Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, we're really deprived. Deprived of that neat little trick. But the reason I bring this up is that one Reddit user has noticed that this has been happening a little bit lately. And it is like when you say about how if it says reduced, but there's no actual reduced price on it. Yeah. No new barcode.

Well, I know that that happens a lot because Toyboy sorts it out. Or avocados where it says two for $5 or $3.50 each and you put them on, you press, there's two avocados and it charges you seven rather than the reduced price. And they're saying it's happened to them a lot since the computer upgrade at their local supermarket.

We've got new self-serve checkouts. They're a bit flasher. They're pretty nice at the old Countdown. Yeah. So is this what they're saying it's at Countdown, some Countdown stores? But I don't think it's just specifically self-serve. I think it's just a new computer. It's just a check.

And he said the staff are like, sweet. There's never any issue. And they don't know what the price of everything is, so they're just scanning. Yeah, but then you have to be the person that's holding up the queue. I hate when I'm in a queue and I hear someone going, but back on the shelf it said $4. That's Andrew.

He does not care. It's so embarrassing. Oh, we'll need to send someone to check. And they're like, alright, I'll wait. And then you stand there waiting awkwardly knowing you're holding everybody up. And then I've seen an old mate, she's like, well, I just might,

and because they can print off a receipt halfway through away and then they scan that and they can pick up where they left off from. Maybe, yeah. You've seen them do that? Right.

I've seen them, we'll just put yours to one side and I'll deal with the next person. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because, no, no, it won't be that long. Oh, I will just wait while you try to save yourself 25 cents. You should check, though, because it happens a lot.

And if it's a couple of dollars here and it's happening all the time. So, yeah, a couple of dollars and it's happening, like, almost every time you go to the supermarket, you should check. But I just sort of wasted that $2 on something else anyway. True. All right. And just after double date this morning, we're doing a This Can't Leave the Room. Yeah.

So we need you to send us your anonymous snaps on our Snapchat, FVMZM. Today, it is This Can't Leave the Room, but I don't agree with my friend's relationship because dot, dot, dot. So use one of the voice filters, Snapchat filters, and send it in so we won't know who you are. You can send it on our Instagram story

and our Snapchat, FEMZM. Easy. Now, do you know they say that only a true friend, and I have always thought this is true, that only a true friend will tell you you've thought this is true, that only a true friend will tell you you've got a little booger or something in your teeth.

We always tell Vaughn when he's got something in his beard. Yeah, we always say, Vaughn, you've got porridge in your beard. Sometimes we don't tell you and it's just awkward for a little bit, because we're on air and we can't bring it up.

I can tell because your eye line's slightly lower. It's down there. So I had a moment yesterday where I got home and I had something on me. Where had you been? I'd been at the gym for like an hour with this. So it's got quite cold, so I've got a bit of a sniffle. Yeah. And so yesterday at the gym, I'd been sweaty,

and I blew my nose on, like, the toilet paper. You know, the cheap, the big rolls of toilet paper? I just grabbed a whole lot, and I blew my nose. Right. But because I was sweaty, and because the toilet paper was so cheap, it kind of mushed on my stubble and made a paper moustache. A paper moustache. A light paper moustache. You paper moustache. A light paper moustache.

You didn't Vaseline the area first, which is crucial to paper moustache. I didn't check post-blow. So I was literally in the gym. Always check post-blow. Always literally in the gym for an hour with a moustache, a white paper moustache,

like all the little bits in my stubble, and I ran into someone, granted not a good friend, but a little light conversation. Didn't say anything. It's hard though, because if you're not a good friend, you're like, oh, you've got a white moustache.

I know, because you don't want to then embarrass the person by, hey, I hardly know you, but you've got a little boogs. What's on there? What's on your face? But if you don't know someone embarrass the person by, hey, I hardly know you but you've got a little booger. A little booger. A little booger. What's on there? What's on your face? But if you don't know someone that well, that's embarrassing, right?

I don't really care. So you wouldn't say or you would say something? I would. Yeah, I would. I don't think, if I didn't know them too well, I wouldn't.

If it was like you guys, I would. Yeah. I'd be more likely to say it to someone I kind of knew than someone I knew really well because I'd be like, ha say it to someone I kind of knew than someone I knew really well

because I'd be like ha ha ha something on their face and I'd leave the something on their face. But at the gym there's like mirrors that you like

squat in front of and stuff. Yeah but I wasn't really He was checking out his biceps and triceps dog. He wasn't checking

out his face he wasn't there to work out his upper lip he's checking where he's getting the gains. I was mostly

on the upper level with like the cross trainers and the so you were perving down that's why you didn't see yourself in the mirror classic okay there perving down. That's why you didn't see yourself in the mirror.

Classic. Okay, there were no mirrors, so that's why I didn't see my paper mache moustache. But that's why I say that's a true saying. Only a true friend will tell you you've got something on you, like a little boogs or something. So how long do you reckon it was there for? An hour. Oh, yeah.

And then I'm at home, I'm like, oh, God, I was walking, and I was like, that's at least an hour of like having a paper mache moustache and if you think about your day and you break it down to a percentage of your day

of how long you were awake for it's a pretty big percentage of your day to be walking around or an eighth yeah an eighth of my day with a paper mache moustache

oh no sixteenth oh it was an hour yeah sixteen did I do good maths from the start? Not too bad. Okay, great.

Not too bad. This is what I wanted to ask this morning. When did you get home and realise you had something on you like that and no one had said anything? Like maybe you had something sticking out of your pants, because sometimes people leave toilet paper. Toilet paper gets caught. Or gets caught.

Or you've got a Boogs or really big boogies or a pimple. Because, you know, sometimes people leave toilet paper. Toilet paper gets caught. Or gets caught. Yeah. You know? Or you've got a boogs or really big boogies or a pimple. You guys didn't tell me that. I had a pimple once. But do you tell people, hey, you've got a pimple? No, no. Because that's not like a booger, is it? And you can't help that.

You say, oh, that looks sore. No, but you also don't know if they're a squeezer or not. Because some people don't like to squeeze them. Yeah, they don't. They know it's there. I don't need to point it out. Like, pimple's different. It was like that time that Dr. Libby came in.

Dr. Libby, McLibby, whatever his name is. Yeah. And she was talking about skin health and stuff, and looking at me the whole time, I was like, okay, I feel like I'm being persecuted here, Dr. Libby. And then afterwards, I went to the toilet and I had a big whitehead pimple on my face. Yeah, we saw that.

And you guys didn't say anything. But when I left home in the morning, I didn't have a whitehead. The head developed. Oh, no, hey, Dad. No one told me. It developed. So 0800-DARN-ZM, and you can text us now, 9696. When did you get home and realise you had something on you?

We're talking about when someone didn't tell you that there was something on your face. Fletch had a papery tissue moustache yesterday. Yeah. From what I would imagine a very vigorous nose blowing. It was a perfect storm of a bit of stubble, sweat and snot. Snot. That came to keep it in.

And cheap toilet paper. And poor wiping technique. And not checking afterwards, really. Somebody said, I went from the gym straight to the supermarket, which I don't really feel comfortable doing anyway. Okay. And when I got there, I went around. People were kind of giving me a bit of extra space.

I was like, that's unusual. Oh, no. And then I got to the checkout and the lady was like, is that all? Yep. And then, great, have a nice day. And then leaned into me and said, your nipples are bleeding. What? Your nipples?

They'd been running. And the chafing on the, the chafing of the shirt. I'd give someone. It was probably a guy, right? Because woman would be more aware of the. And like you've got coverage. Yeah. You've got like a bra.

The man's nipples were bleeding from chafing on the shirt but everyone would be giving... Is that all? Yeah, thanks. Have a nice day. Your nipples are bleeding. Good on them for saying something because that's the thing a lot of people aren't. But they've just done their public

appearance. That's at the end of it. The feedback's no good then. I've been on the other side of this an elderly woman came into our work and her skirt was tucked into the tight's at the end of it. The feedback's no good then. I've been on the other side of this. An elderly woman came into our work and her skirt was tucked into the tights at the back and you could see her underwear. Everybody was looking. And I was like, I can't let this go on. So I said, excuse me, ma'am, would you be able

to come with me for a moment? And she thought she was being accused of shoplifting. I got to the side and said, I didn't want to say it in front of everybody but you've got your skirt tucked into it. She was so very thankful, but mortified. Yeah, you would be. Mortified. Renee, what happened?

When did nobody tell you that you had something on you? On Cup Day in Christchurch, I was wearing a white dress, and I sat on the grass thinking it was wet, and it was red wine, and no one told me. Oh, no. So you basically soaked up that red wine in the no one told me. Oh! Oh, no. So you basically soaked up that red wine in the grass like a sponge. Yeah, I did with my bullet butt. So you didn't notice until you got home?

No, as soon as I got home and took my dress off, I looked at it, and I was like, this is the right idea. That's worse than a papier-mâché moustache. How many hours did you have that on, do you reckon? Anywhere between five to six. That would have been enough. Did you manage to get the stain out of the dress? No, that dress was totaled.

But that's a day of glamour. That would have hurt. That would have been quite hard. I saved up, you know, how much money for that dress. Oh. That's what I went into. Oh, Renee, thank you. I like how you're even lying to us about the cost of your dress.

Like, I spent, oh, God knows how much money on that dress. Not a lot. I've had it for ages. It's definitely not new. Thanks for your call, Renee. Kyla, when did you get home and realise there was something on you? Well, I was, I think I was at some market or something. Yeah.

With a group of friends, not just one. Okay. And I got home and then one of the friends Posted in like An Instagram Like selfie of us And that's when I realised I had something in my teeth Oh no

She put up an Instagram selfie And you had something In your teeth I know I know Like let's just say She's not really A friend

Yeah That's double bag Because she didn't tell you In real life And she also put up A picture Knowing that That was in there

I know Was it like a bit of Cor or something, or chives? Well, we'd done lots of taste testers at the market, so something. Who knows what it was. Never know, like a bit of chilli or lettuce. Coriander from a dumpling? I mean, anything from a dumpling. I could have a whole dumpling stuck in my teeth.

I mean, I'd be happy because then I've got another dumpling. I'll save it for later, right? Yeah. Kyla, thanks for your call. Emma, what happened? Well, I work at a hotel, so I popped down to reception to help the girls. Yep. And I had matte lipstick on, and I was like, my lips are a bit dry today, so I better put on a bit of gloss just so I can rub them together a little bit. Yep.

Went downstairs, helped them checking out guests for a couple of hours, and then noticed I had this big dribble down the side of my face of the gloss. It looked like I was a vampire. What colour was it? Was it like a reddy pink? It was red. Oh. That is so...

Just for professionalism, the others should have told you. I know. I know. And the guests, I wonder why everyone was looking at me weird all morning. They were checking into Hotel Transylvania. Emma, thanks for your call.

My pleasure. Thanks, guys. Shh. This can't leave the room. Time for a bit of a goss. We love a bit of goss, don't we here? God, I love this segment.

Yeah. Okay. So we're asking you this morning, this can't leave the room, and it is, it's just between us, like, it's not going to leave the room at all. The room being New Zealand. We are kind of a room. We're a sleepout. Because we're not attached to the

main house. Sure. We're having a sleepover and having secrets. Like a cool port-a-com sleepout, not the caravan that Rob and Bain were sleeping in out the back of the Bain house. Okay. This can't leave the room. I don't agree with my friend's relationship because...

We need you to finish that. Our Snapchat is FBMZM. Alright, are we ready? Let's delve. This can't leave the room. I don't agree with my friend's relationship because he spends all of their money on the pokies even when they've got three kids to look after and she's not allowed to spend any money on anything

but he's allowed to gamble every week. That's actually sad, isn't it? And you're right not to agree with that relationship or at least not be happy with him about how he's doing that. He needs help. He's got a wild gambling addiction. And gambling addiction is as serious as other addictions because it'll end up costing him his family.

Well, there was a story in the news last couple of days about some communities just banning pokies or just getting rid of them. And it's making the place a better place. That's a good idea. Yeah. That's actually really, I thought this was going to be light-hearted. I mean, it's fun if you've got 20 bucks and you're going to chuck it in for a laugh.

But if you're putting in your family's, you know, source of income and meanwhile not letting... And you can't pay the mother of... Yeah, yeah, the mother of your children buy anything for them or pay the bills. That's, yeah, problematic. I just can't leave the room, but I don't agree with my friend's relationship. She's dating a rugby player and I'm scared he's going to cheat on her because you can't trust a super rugby player, can you? A super rugby player?

I mean, there have been examples where you can't trust them. There are some scallywags, but there are scallywags in many walks of life. Exactly. Would you be happy if one of your girls wanted to date a rugby player? Oh, no, God, no. No, thank you. No, thank you. I've known too many.

I mean, fine, do whatever you want, but not my princesses. I don't think you'll let them date anybody, would you? Well, last night at the dinner table, Indy said, you know, when I get married, I'm going to marry a rugby player with lots of tattoos and had this, like, grin on her face. I was like, weird, where, you know, when I get married, I'm going to marry a rugby player with lots of tattoos and had this like grin on her face. I was like, weird, where did you get that from? She's like, haha, Gigi, which is what they call my dad, Gigi told me I'm not

allowed to marry a rugby player with any tattoos. What's he saying that for? Because she'll want to do that now. No, because if it comes from your granddad and she like loves her granddad, it's when your dad comes in too heavy handed with the rules. I love that she knows that will wind you up though. That surprised me but yeah

now that she knows it got a rise out of me I think she'll. You're showing a weakness. I know. Damn it. Damn it. Alright next one. This can't leave the room but I don't agree with my friend's relationship because she's not sure if her child belongs to her husband or her affair.

That was a deeply sensual voice, wasn't it? Yeah, that was a deep voice already, and then it got even deeper. She's not sure if the child belongs to her husband or her affair. Or her affair. So that's why he doesn't approve of the relationship. That sucks when it involves the kid. If you actually wanted to find out how much does it cost in New Zealand, Because you see this on all those talk shows and Dr. Phil and stuff. Isn't it still $1,000 to get an opportunity test?

I don't know. Can't you do, like, isn't Ancestry DNA like $100? Yeah, spit in a tube and if we don't all match, if you're not... Like, the dad's fully just Irish and English and the mum's the same and then it comes back with a large portion of Spanish. Spanish. There might be questions. Weird.

Okay. What would you do in that situation? But then I don't know. I don't know. That also didn't clarify whether or not the father knows that that's an option.

Yeah. No, I don't think he does. You don't think he knows about the affair? No, that's why they don't agree with the relationship. But then what happens when you're...

I don't agree with it because there's no honesty there. What happens when you're a teenager or you're an adult and you just look at your parents and you're like, they don't agree with the relationship. But then what happens when you... I don't agree with it because there's no honesty there. What happens when you're a teenager or you're an adult and you just look at your parents and you're like, I don't look anything like both of you

or one of you? Yeah. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Okay, next one. This can't leave the room, but my friend's husband blows all their money on weed and then gets angry

when she buys a pair of shoes. Lame. This is... That's a second kind of... Yeah. He blows it all on weed and then gets angry when she buys a pair of shoes. Lame. This is, that's a second kind of, he blows it all on weed though, that one said. Marijuana,

he buys that and she's not allowed to buy a pair of shoes. At least she's got something tangible for her spending. I just buy shoes when he was blazed

on the couch who didn't notice and say he did it. Honey, I bought these so long ago. I just haven't worn them. I just haven't had an occasion to wear them

because you don't get off the couch, babe. All right, let's play another one. This can't leave the room, but I don't agree with my friend's relationship because they are just so in love and I'm always a third wheel. It's so depressing. Okay.

I think dear caller, dear messenger, that's a little bit more on you. Jealousy. That's jealousy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Doesn't approve of the relationship because they're too in love. Oh, you'll find someone. All right, next one. This can't leave the room, but I don't agree with my friend's relationship

because he cheated on his wife and a sad dude. And I've seen him. I've seen him. Wow. I've seen him. Oh, dear. Do you reckon that happens quite a bit? Like a bit of a last hurrah.

Yeah, because people are always like, oh, it's your last hurrah. And it's like, no, no, that was a while ago because you're about to marry this person. You're still in a relationship. Yeah, you've kind of like done all the work except stand on the dotted line. Yeah. Did Mr. Toyboy have strippers at his stag do? Not as far as I'm aware. He hid them well. He did well. Have I started a conversation tonight when you get home? What did he do? Okay, maybe you have. You don't know what he did for a stag, though. I can't remember.

Nah, he wouldn't have had strippers. But I don't care. I don't care. Don't look at me like that. I wasn't implying anything. I was just letting you know. Okay, time for one more. This can't leave the room,

but I don't agree with my friend's relationship because he's basically her sugar daddy and she's only with him because he brought her a brand new Audi. A brand new Audi? Wow, yeah, it sounded like it. White? Is it a white one? Yellow, so it's easier to spot for granddaddy.

Is there a hint of jealousy in that person? I think so as well, yeah. Turn back time. I once didn't understand this sugar daddy situation, but we've talked to a couple of people, genuine people who have done it, and the guys are getting as much. Don't feel sorry for the guys with the money.

Yeah. The guys with the money are getting a convenient companionship when they need one. They're aware of what's happening. And the sugar babies, yeah, they're getting something out of it as well. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. Yeah.

So don't, yeah, I don't think. But again, I'd be jealous if my friend had a brand new Audi. I know. She's obviously going to want to take the Audi everywhere, to which you can go for a free ride in because Sugar Daddy also gave her a fuel card. And you don't have to touch the Sugar Daddy. No complaint. Exactly.

So you're wanting to ride in a sweet Audi without having to touch some old dude's todger. And next time you go around and talk to the old dude, be like, oh my God, I wish I had an Audi, and you never know. And any time I ride in an Audi without having to touch an old man's penis, that is a win in my book. I mean, there's not many.

Right. Been on a few Audi rides. I'm going back three or four weeks now. Right. Come with me on a journey back to april okay the end of april yeah i this is an estimate of when this first started happening okay i don't know what's going on i'm outside and i start hearing what sounds like you know when you have music going in your headphones but they're like the earbuds or whatever but they're sitting on the desk

yep that's when i know i'm i have I have bad hearing because my headphones are too loud. And it's like, our studio headphones are a bit bassier, but when they're the little earbuds, they're tinny sounding when they're not in your ear. So if they're on there, you can kind of hear them. Yep. You ever hear headphones on, but not in your ear? I'm outside, I hear that.

Right. No, I don't have headphones on. Yeah. And it gets louder and it gets louder. And then a car drives past. Yeah. And I'm like, that noise was coming from that car. And Sade said, did you hear that?

Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I said, it came from a car. What, inside the car? They were listening to it like something. First time it drives past, no idea. I just know that it was somehow emanating from the car. Right.

I said, that was very unusual. She said, it was unusual. We agreed it was unusual, and we put it to one side. You two are going to be the worst old couple. We are already an elderly suburban couple. So time passes, and then I'm inside in the lounge, and I can hear it coming again. Yeah.

This is a week or so later. Yeah. And I say to Sade, the noise is coming. And she said, is it the car? I said, I think it is. I'm going to go look. So as I get to the road, I open it, the car drives past. Yeah.

And he's got his windows up. Yeah. And I think it doesn't sound like a car driving past with the stereo really loud with the windows up. Right. Maybe if the windows were down. Right. And I say to her, it was the car. And she said, yeah, I can tell by the sound.

I said, it's very unusual. And she said, it is unusual. And we put it to a side, but not as far to the side. Then one weekend at like 2 a.m., middle of the night, I wake up and I say to Sade, I can hear that car coming. And she said, what time is it? I said, it's 2 a.m. So I got up to the window and I saw the car drive past. Same music again.

Yeah. Very tinny sounding music. Yeah. She said, was it the car? I said, it was the car. That's unusual. I said, it's no longer unusual. It's pissing me off because it's 2 o'clock in the morning.

Yeah. Yeah. But we put it just to the side. Okay. Right. The next time it happened, we were both outside and I said, I've got to get to the bottom of this. I can't keep putting this to the side.

Yeah. She said, it doesn't sound like a car driving past with the windows down. Yeah. The music's not coming from inside. I said, we established that two times ago. Keep up. Keep up, please. And she said, oh, that's right. You said that. I thought I thought that. I said, that happens that two times ago. Keep up. Keep up, please. And she said, oh, that's right.

You said that. I thought I thought that. I said, that happens to me sometimes too. Okay. Yesterday, I'm walking up to get August from Kindy. Yep. I hear the music start coming. Oh, okay.

I whip out my phone. Okay. And I have proof. Okay. I have proof. Do you have my line up? I do. It's up.

Okay, here we go. Yep. Okay. I have proof. Do you have my line up? I do. It's up. Here we go. Yep. Listen. I can't believe you did that. Welcome to my world. What's he doing? I live in the city. That is all the time.

It's an external speaker. I know. What's he doing that for? in the city. That is all the time. It's an external speaker. I know. What's he doing that for? Have the music inside your car. I'm not enjoying it. I'm pretty sure no one else is. I don't force mine outwards. Keep it in.

Because his windows were up again. I've got his number plate. I'm calling the community constable. You are not. Please don't. I'm calling the community constable, Megan. Please don't. This has gone on for too long.

They record your details. Don't do that. I will call the community constable. No, this happens a lot in the city, especially Friday and Saturday nights. Why? And at all times of the night. I don't know.

It's just a thing. Why is it? Why? No, it doesn't sound good. If you're going to have external speakers, make them nice or something. Because I put it to the side a lot like you have. How far to the side do you keep putting it?

Just to the side. And then one day I was so angry. I was like, just because what's the point of it? Like you said, listen in your car. Yeah. But why does it annoy you so much? Listen to how terrible. I'll play it for you again.

So it's fun. Literally just as it goes past me, the saxophone kicks in. The beat drops. It is, because I've wondered about the legality. Where is the speaker? It's definitely external. Oh, it's probably underneath in the bonnet-y bit. So the police can't see it.

Yeah, exactly. But I've wondered about the legality of, like, dropping eggs from my apartment, rocks, onto, like, such cars. Because you should surely deserve it if you're making a ruckus. Rocks, question mark, eggs, exclamation mark. All for that. All for that. Because I'm thinking lob a, like, a 12-pack out and then shut the window. Yeah.

And then they're zero. You'll be able to shut the window. Have a good little peaky slot, though, because you don't want your curtain to be up. I know, exactly. You've got to shut the window. Peaky slot. Yeah, peaky slot. Yeah.

But I don't understand it. It's so annoying. Don't I understand it? It's just a bit of fun. I'm sure there's people in their 20s that don't like this. You're getting old. I mean, there's a time and a place for those sorts of absolute jams. It's not the music I don't like.

It's the tinniness and the... I don't have any choice in the matter. You were listening the other day to Shania Twain very loud in your car. You like loud music in the car, but not outside. That's four seconds max. And it's not obnoxious. That's the other annoying part. As it's on you, there's no warning.

Like, the basic car is you hear coming. It's the... And you're like, here he comes. But this guy's on you because it's so treble-y, and treble doesn't carry well. But I mean, sure, it's a surprise, but I don't think it's unpleasant. Are you kidding me? It's quite unpleasant.

Very unpleasant. Regardless of what music he's playing. You're going to be the worst old people neighbour. It's already happening. I'm calling the community council to explore my options today. Just before we get to fact of the day, Horne is feeling vindicated after his complaint. Oh, I am.

I've got a support crew. Of people that drive around with external speakers on their car. Oh, no. We're not supporting them. We're anti them because it's so loud and obnoxious and horrible and tinny. You old man. It's so loud. Now, if people are driving around with a loud internal speaker system in their car.

You're okay with that. I'm fine with it because they're putting themselves through the punishment. But externally, I'm getting all of the punishment. Three seconds as they drive past. Now, that's the other annoying part. It's just like in and out. Oh, we've been inundated. Inundated.

Inundated. With a whole bunch of grumpy oldies. Somebody messaged in. They used to live near where you live, Fletch, currently. And they said their partner would throw eggs and empty water bottles out of the... Oh, so I'm allowed to. No, I don't think so. But obviously it's not deterred them because they're still...

Somebody else said the reason they are tinny sounding is that this is the next step. Remember when everybody was stealing school fire alarms and school bells and little PA speakers and strapping them on their bikes and having the battles? Right. Well, this is... They've evolved.

They're old enough to drive cars now, so they're strapping them. Somebody said, at least your guys got them hidden. Where I live, they don't make any secret of it. They're actually just duct taped to the bumper. Because I'm looking at AliExpress at road spikes. Oh, Fletch, come on. How much? I've got a telephone pole, because you've got to have an anchoring point to set them up

Do you know what you can do today, Warren? Call Talkback, they'll love this You should It's hard because I think you've got to do a bulk buy roadspikesamazon.com I'll get back to you on how much If you're waking me up at 3am

we'll be able to sell these roadspikes, baby If you're going to wake me up at 3am.m., you can't complain when I road spike your mitzvah. Do you hear yourself? I will not spike anybody. Complain to the police. What are you going to say? I was being obnoxious. I will take down the innocent Daihatsu Mira in front or behind you.

Being obnoxious isn't breaking the law, but road spikes is. $24.99. Okay, go on, do it. I can do the show alone. Are you saying we'll be arrested? Both of you. Somebody said

he had a guy drive past holding a UE Boom on top of his car with the arm out the window the other day. Those are great speakers. We can all... I mean,

but they're not as tinny. That would be a fuller sound. Yeah. So maybe I wouldn't have as much fun. It's the tinniness that really grunts me. It's just really good studio.

Now it's time. It's like, you know how they say when they catch Al Qaeda and they put them in Guantanamo Bay, they pay them like Britney Spears. Yep. Best of. Far as in Guantanamo, they just need to drive up and down the hallway

with a tinny speaker playing anything. I'd be like, I'll tell you whatever you want to know. All right, it's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that... Actually, no, these are to stop birds. These spikes are to stop birds on your patio. You put them on your rails.

Are they deployable like a road spike? No, they're just spikes. Just like pigeons? Yes, yes, yes. Pigeons won't land on spikes. They're annoying, but they're not stupid. Probably going to be more than that for road spikes. Carry on.

You keep looking for road spikes. And I'll tell you today's fact of the day is about the game Guess Who? The mystery face game where through a series of deductive clues, you can work out who your opposition had as their representative from the Guess Who board. The fact particularly about this is that the inventor of Guess Who went to school with Anne Frank. Really? Of Anne Frank's diary fame. Yep.

Okay. Wow. I never knew that. She did. She invented a few other things before she became the Guess Who inventor. She invented ice sticks, which was an ice block stick. Yep. What do I feel like I'm...

A popsicle stick. Yep. That's what they're better known as. A ice block stick. Yep. What do I feel like? A popsicle stick. Yep. That's what they're better known as. A popsicle stick. And she had them so they could be crafted together in a Lego type formation, Lego type situation.

So you'd freeze it on the plastic and then you could, you had a use for them afterwards rather than just discarding them. Yep. But her biggest claim to fame came with the success of Guess Who? The game that I previously them. Right. But her biggest claim to fame came with the success of Guess Who? The game that I previously described.

She, when it first came out, had no idea that when the board of all of those people, there was only one person of ethnic origin. Right. So the game could be simply one if you drew that and said, is your player white? And they'd say no and then everybody went down except for one. So there was a bit of fine tuning and it became the game

that we know today as Guess Who? And she went to school with Anne Frank. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Don't say it. I've found a factory in China. Surprise, surprise.

China. China. They can supply us with 5,000 sets a month of road spike deployers. You're thinking merchandise? $82, $100. Fletch and Vaughan road spikes. No. Fletch and Vaughan road spikes. merchandise? $82, $100 road spikes. No! Fletch and Vaughn road spikes.

Fletch and Vaughn road spikes. I love it. We'll keep communities safer. I was driving on the wrong side of the road

in the South Island. I was road spiked by Fletch and Vaughn road spikes. They stopped me dead in my tracks. I don't know what accent that was.

I started Swedish and went South African and danced all around I was trying to be non-specifically offensive okay more of a broad stroke of offense

just offend everyone yeah just tourists take the keys take the keys take the keys off them we should all be issued road spikes to stop the tourists

I literally have a headache and the guys with the cars I literally have a headache me me me me me me headache No, not on my street