ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 30 2019

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

We are live from Wellington! star of Parks And Recreation - Nick Offerman is on the phone and what was the best rumour you have heard about yourself?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Alright you lot, listen up, it's Storytime. Storytime, three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories that I've found online. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three. Headline one, family let man down. Headline two, man rattled on toilet. And headline three, lime car shares used for getaways. Lime car shares, is that the same as lime scoots?

It is, but overseas they do like little mini cars, like little... Cute. ...fairy, tiny, cute, white cars. The ones that you can just turn straight into a curb and parallel park it. Almost, yeah. Those are my jam.

Like a smart car. Like a smart car. Smart cars. Yeah. Did you always want one? Really? Yeah, ever since X, Act, MP and Dancing with the Stars, veteran Rodney Hyde had one.

It was his electoral promotional vehicle. You were a fan. They just looked so handy especially in the city you could, like you say. Yeah. There's a small,

how often do you pull up beside a park and you're like, you stop beside the park and you look at the back and then you look at the front and you're like, no I'm not going to fit.

You like size yourself up but then that thing just rips straight in. Yeah. I always thought they were a genius little vehicle. Well not to be used

for getaways. No. I don't know why you'd use your Lime getaway car. Because you sign up with the app, don't you? It's got your credit card. Which has got your details. Well, yeah. Like if you sign up with a Visa Prezi card. Well, can you though?

I don't know. I don't know. You've got to think of these things if you're going to do a bank hold up. Yeah. With a car share. What was one? Family let man down. Because the rattling on the toilet, is that an earthquake on the toilet or something? Oh, okay.

Rattlesnake. Yes. Oh, no. One. Good Lord. Family let man down. All right. We go now to India.

Now, there were some local elections. Go on. And a candidate lost out. And so the local media decided to talk to the man. Now, I only have the... Oh, I can play you the audio. Oh, okay. And then I've got like a rough translation here.

So I'm going by this news source, which is 9GAG. It's a trusted source. Right up there with journalism. Yeah, right up there with journalism. Now, the local elections were happening. And this man... Yes. Gave his, I guess, what do you call it?

Not a victory speech. Commiseration. No, I don't know. Defeat. Yeah. Well, anyway, I guess, what do you call it? Not a victory speech. Commiseration. No, I don't know. Defeat. Yeah. Well, anyway, I'll play the audio and then I'll explain how he was let down by his family. I'll pause it there.

The reporter said, we have our independent candidate here. And he says to the candidate, so only five people voted for you. Oh, no, he's got a really big family. And the reporter said, that means even your family members haven't voted for you. Because he said, yes, despite, yes sir, despite having nine members in the family, I only got five votes. Oh, buddy. No one's going to admit.

Do they forget to go and vote? I don't know. Oh, buddy. Yeah. And then he cried. And then he cried and got really upset. Because I don't know. Oh, buddy. Yeah. And then he cried. And then he cried and got really upset. Because I don't speak

his dialect, but I understand T isn't any language. I know. So, yeah. It's a universal language disappointment. Very sad.

Could you imagine running and like even your family doesn't vote for you? Yeah, I can imagine. But there are even some of those in New Zealand when, you know, there's a real out there

politician or party. Yeah. And they only get, you know, there's a real out there politician or party. Yeah. And they only get, you know, like 40, 50 votes. Yeah. You'd be like, no. Can you honestly say. I've got more Facebook friends. Yeah.

If every member of your family ran for something, would you vote for them? There's a few in my family I wouldn't vote for. No, you did right. But then you can't get out of it. Like, you can't say. Yeah, I can. Be like. Be like, I didn't vote for you.

You're crazy. You listen to yourself when you speak. Yeah. You're an absolute nutter. Anyway, I love you. Good night, Mum. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. So, the World Health Organisation, they're the big dogs when it comes to, like... Diseases. They're in charge of classifying things as a disease. They've added something, and I think it's cause for concern for Vaughan. Yeah.

So now added to their international classification of diseases database, the ICD, is gaming addiction. So they have characterized gaming addiction. So they have characterized gaming addiction as a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behavior that takes precedent over other life interests. I tell you, the best way to take care of this is to move somewhere with rural broadband.

Oh, yeah. And that's a really loose term. I haven't gamed for ages. I don't think I don't think, I don't honestly, I've switched on my PlayStation the other day because there was a Fortnite update and it said, oh, a download update. I was like, sure.

It said like 14 gig because I haven't updated it since last November. I was like, how long is this going to take? And it said update available in two days. Like 48 hours or something? I was like, ha! Turned it straight back off again. You're like, I'm not updating that.

Yeah, I just need a game that doesn't need updates. Does gaming on your phone count? Because you were very addicted to Idle Miner. That's true. That's true. Very true. But they're talking quite extreme cases. So they're talking about people who could game up for 24, 20 hours a

day. They don't sleep. Nah. I've got children and a job. Yeah. Nah. And then they trade in you know, like eating and sleeping for gaming. I, nothing stops me from eating. Or sleeping. Press pause. You've got some load time between

games and. Yeah, get a snack. Yeah, totally time to get a snack. But yeah, it's an official disease now. Gaming addiction. Wow. Okay. Think about that next time you're sitting at the controller for hours on end. Where you're like, should I go to the toilet or should I just do it here?

If that question's ever been asked, I think you need to... Check yourself. Yeah, check it. But then where do we end? Like, is Netflix binging? Is that... An addiction? A disease and an addiction as well?

No, because as long as you're eating and sleeping and... So that's how you define an addiction, when it starts to affect your eating and your sleeping. But then how many times have you been like, oh, just one or two more episodes? You're like, oh, I can just do one more. Don't start with it. Shush, please.

It's when Netflix asks if you're still watching. Like, how does it know that you haven't moved? Is it watching you? I heard that the other day. Are you still watching? Are you still watching? I'm like, ouch. It's very judgy.

Yeah, it's very judgy. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. It is the Top Six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today. I follow these closely every year. So I think you'll find my six will be reflected thusly in today's budget. Right. One thing we are going to need to budget is someone's chewed on the end of this Office Max pen.

Oh, yuck. Yuck. Like really aggressively chewed on it. Not a light suck. I've changed the shape of the end of it. Did you chew that as well? No, I didn't. I felt it with my thumb and that was gross enough.

Top six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today. Number six, cheaper lasagna toppers in the tuck shop. Now, lasagna toppers are delicious, but they're not an entire meal. So you can't expect to pay as much for a lasagna topper as you do for a pie. Now, they're just under what you standardly pay for a pie, but they'll probably be needed teamed up with a bag of chips. So you're saying that you're expecting the government to... Subsidise.

Subsidise lasagna toppers. Subsidise lasagna toppers. I'm all for that. You often forgot. Touch shop treat, the lasagna topper. But I tell you what, just because it's lukewarm on the outside doesn't mean it's not molten lava or frozen salt in the middle. It's hard to tell and no one ever really knows.

It is, yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today. Official wording that the Prime Minister will be telling us that we don't need to stop at Macca's because there's food at home. Because that's money saving for the country. Right, and it's health savings too because we don't end up going to the doctor's. Maybe we just get home and eat a family pack of mac and cheese anyway. So, you know, we might have saved a bit of money there, but yeah, we put it on somewhere else. Number four on the list of the top six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today,

a government account called European Holiday Savings that gets money put in every payday that lasts in there for about three days until you take the money out of that account to get on the razzmatazz and have some yums at the weekend. Yeah. You know. We'll just take it out of the holiday account. We'll put it back in next pay.

Yeah. Just take it out. We'll definitely put it back in. Promise? Yeah, I promise. We'll definitely put it back in next pay. Do you think the government will be subsidising our European holidays any time soon in the budget?

I wouldn't imagine so. Okay? I wouldn't imagine so. I wouldn't imagine so. Number three on the list of the top six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today is an allocation of a few million dollars to change the official pronunciation of budget to bougie. It sounds

slasher. Sticking to the bougie. Bougie. Oh, sticking to the bougie. Looking bougie. Oh, sticking to the bougie. Bougie. Yeah, looking bougie while you're sticking to the bougie. Okay. I'm sticking to that bougie. Let's all call it that from now on, the bougie.

Oh, didn't Grant Robertson deliver a wonderful well-being bougie? Number two on the list of the top six things I'm expecting to see in the budget today are roads. We need more roads to town, some new roads to town, so that the roads that we already have to town can be renamed Old Town Road. And we can take our horse to that old town road. We're going to ride till I can't no more. That was really terrible.

Worth the setup. Worth it was, yeah. And the number one thing I'm expecting to see on the budget today is free horses, because obviously that's the most expensive part about taking a horse to Old Town Road. Is that you've actually got to have a horse. We're going to need horses. And then there will be some horse floats floating around for those who are far enough away from Old Town Road

that they would take the horse to Old Town Road. But then by the time it got there, it would be too buggered to ride on Old Town Road. Yeah, right. You know? So you float them there and then you take your horse down Old Town Road. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I, to be totally honest, use Snapchat a lot lately.

I used it when the gender swap filter came out. But all I did was I made the video, downloaded it, and then uploaded it to Instagram. And then you were just, like, done with Snapchat. I've got months of unread messages in there. I was downloading an app, I think, when everybody was doing the gender swap thing, and it was like back up the charts of apps.

Snapchat. Yeah, it was like number one in New Zealand. Their filter game's always been better than Instagram. Yeah, it has. But it's a Snapchat filter I want to talk about now, and also, before I mentioned, if you'd wanted to be in a gang, but you're worried about what your mum would say,

well, the mongrel mob actually got onto Snapchat. Quite a social media savvy gang. Yeah. They put up a filter on Snapchat that was a black baseball cap with the mongrel mob insignia on it. That's the dog with the spiky collar. Yeah, right. And the mongrel mob insignia on it. That's the dog with the spiky collar. Yeah, right. And the mongrel mob.

Because anyone can upload. You can make your own, can't you? You can, yes. Yeah, yeah. You can make Snapchat. Because I saw that right at the end. It's like, make your own. But I think it's a separate app.

You make it. You've got to... Don't you have to pay as well? To make it? Yeah. Not a problem for the mongrel mob. They do it right well financially. So it. Yeah. Not a problem for the mongrel mob. They do it quite well financially. So it was that and then there was a splash of red paint across the face because that's

their colour. Right. Red. And it's been removed by Snapchat. It's down. It's gone. It wouldn't have been an option down the bottom. You would have actually had to go and search for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You searched. Yeah, it was called the MMM baseball cap. Right. Someone, the person who uploaded it, the author known just simply as D. Okay. But it's gone now because it breached the guidelines.

The community guidelines, terms of service, and lens submission guidelines. Right. That they have. Because it's a gang. And there was no gang insignia or anything. But the only people wanting to download that or use it would be gang members, wouldn't they? Wouldn't it? And they'd already have a hat.

They'd actually have a hat. The only people that would publicly share it would be gang members. Other people would probably try it but then be like, oh, my God, I'll delete that in case I accidentally upload that. But, yeah, or gang members who maybe have lost their hat. Perfect. Oh, that would be sad. Like a school uniform, they've ordered a new one, but it takes a few days to get there.

And your mum told you off for losing it. Yeah. God, this should be right up your... Yeah. Imagine if your mum was in the mongrel mob. Are mums allowed in the mongrel mob? I don't know. I don't know.? I don't know. Go back to headquarters and look everywhere, please.

I'll be ringing around the other mongrel mob mums to see if someone's accidentally taken it on home because I put your name in the back of that hat. This isn't happening again. God, mums are really... Imagine a mum gang. Just a gang oh it's called

they're called coffee groups actually they already exist savage savage places where your parenting's judged behind your back yeah have you seen those online mum forums

yeah worse than meth God Flesh, Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM so lots of people are switching out

ciggies for vaping being like this is either a good way to get off the Ciggies or it's healthier, right? I know people that have gone from Ciggies to vaping to kind of, yeah, try and transition to giving up. Yeah. And they've gone from the giant kind of robot penis-looking devices to more of a USB.

Like it looks like they've got a USB stick in their mouth now. Yeah. They're getting much smaller, aren't they? Which is, yeah. And they're saying, well, you know, it has less, does it have less nicotine? And then, you know, it's flavours and stuff. Yeah, because you can pick how intense the nicotine is, right?

Yeah. So there's been a new study. This is done by the American, or it's a report in the American College of Cardiology Journal. They have looked into the vapes and the different flavours and they've found that certain flavours could be linked to

heart disease. So specifically cinnamon and menthol are two flavours that are not very good for you. I love a bit of cinnamon though. Well I mean not in my vape, I just like cinnamon quills. I feel like those would be two pretty popular flavours. But nobody was under the impression

that vaping was good for you, were they? Not good for you, but maybe better for you than smoking. So this is going to be a surprise to you then. In the experiment, the researchers exposed healthy human blood vessels to six different non-nicotine vape flavours. Even without nicotine,

the flavours caused the blood vessels to dysfunction comparative to someone who had smoked a normal cigarette. Oh wow. So just the flavours affects your blood vessels the same way as nicotine. But who would be vaping without nicotine?

Wouldn't that... There's no point of that, is there? Well, maybe if you were trying to get off nicotine. You know, like if you were trying to wean yourself off. It's probably for people who quite like going outside in winter and being like, look at me, I'm smoking. Right. So they've said that the long-term effects are still unclear.

But this obviously suggests that it's not very good for you. So cinnamon and menthol are specifically the worst. So the flavoured vaping, is that like doing a shisha? The flavoured, is that tobacco though, eh? No, shisha's like doing an intense amount of cigarettes, isn't it? We don't know. I don't know, I don't smoke. Shisha's braved tobacco.

I just googled one shisha is equal to dot, dot, dot, 100 cigarettes. If you do an hour of shisha. Are you joking? That is equivalent to 100 ciggies, warns a government health official. Wow. Your studies have shown. That's like having two ciggies in your mouth for an hour. And each minute you're kind of replacing one.

Yeah. Good lord. So I mean, I guess it's flavoured tobacco, so you're like, oh, well, it's... Tastes like apples. Tastes like apples. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. But wow, that is nuts, isn't it? Good lord, that's not good, is it?

Pretty good value, though. What does a shisha cost you? I don't know. Stop. It's just me budgeting there for the nicotine smokers. Right. But then you also can't, like, be at work. You're like, I'm just popping out for a shisha break.

And you take your whole shisha just outside of where you work because it's a non-smoking zone. And then you light it up with your bloody garden hose into your... Are you smoking an elephant there? I'm having my smoke break with an elephant. So, I had a slight online shopping mistake. Right. It was a slight online shopping mistake. Right.

It was a tad of an error. And it's weird that you didn't ask Megan, because normally you'll ask... It's almost offensive that you didn't ask me. It's out of your jurisdiction, though. No, it's not. Nothing's out of my jurisdiction. Megan, are you fashion and clothes? No.

Excuse me. I'm not just fashion and clothes. I can find you anything on the internet I am makeup as well people will message you won't they like yeah

random people will just be like hey Megan can you find these shoes cheaper or they'll message the Facebook inbox yeah and be like

oh can you get messaged can I I'm like um yeah sure I'll ask and then I just say to Megan oh this person wants this and I'm expecting Megan to be like

I don't have time she's like I'm on it it's like your hobby it't have time. She's like, I'm on it. It's like your hobby. It actually saves me from buying. Like, it gives me an adrenaline rush. I'm not even joking. How much can I save?

Can I save on shipping? Where's the discount code? Like, I'm all about it. Well, the tale I'm about to regale you with involves shipping as well. So I wanted to buy a green screen set up. So I did a video recently with the girls and I just bought this green material from Spotlight. And it worked a treat. But it wasn't as good as it could have been.

So I was like, I want to buy a green screen because they're all obsessed with making themselves look like they're on other planets and stuff. And I'm like, I'm down for down for this sounds like a fun fun experiment so i was like i'll buy a green screen so i went on and i was like i'll just buy the material i can just pin it to the wall and then i read it at this review and it was like don't pin it to a wall um you've got to have it hanging and i was like okay well i'll buy a hanging one and then i'm buying a frame and then i'm buying some additional lights as well i got i got down into a rabbit hole of green screens but you can get all the stuff okay yeah you can get all the stuff on aliexpress or amazon so then um i read this review of like the best green screens on the product on the market at the moment like the one that was the best and came with all the best stuff i clicked on it

and it was like uh i think it said like $192. Okay. And I was like, that's pretty legit. And then underneath, I was like, is that New Zealand? And then underneath it, it said, pay New Zealand dollars with one click. Because it was on Amazon, and I've bought a couple of things off Amazon before.

Yeah. And I was like, pay New Zealand dollars in one click. I was like, one click? Hello, this is the lazy person speaking. One click sounds great. Yeah. So I was like, one click. And it was like, is person speaking. One click sounds great. Yeah. So I was like, one click. And it was like, is this your address?

And I clicked yes. And it was like, purchase them on the way. I was like, holy moly, for $192? What a steal. Then I get the receipt emailed to me. Yeah. It was $192 US. And that's a lot at the moment.

Because I've done a bit of online shopping lately. And it had to be like, nah, I'm not going to. Oh, really? Because it's like, what is it, 60 something cents at the moment? Yeah, it's not great. USD. For the US conversion. Yeah, so one US dollar gets you $1.54 New Zealand.

Okay. Australian conversion's great. US not. That's great, great times for Australia. Yeah. I just keep an eye on that because I like telling my brother that we're very close because he lives in Australia. I'm like, we're getting to you. We're getting to you.

Yeah, 65 cents at the moment. Oh, is it? Yeah. Okay. So almost double. So, yeah, there was that. And then what I didn't see is the $104. My flesh is looking at me so I don't know what.

Five. Four F $504 and that was significantly more than that shipping why are you laughing? because it's this big ass package and I was just like so stoked on $192 and I clicked on it

so I'm almost paying that in packaging and shipping alone so what this was like a $500 mistake clicked on it and yeah so i'm almost paying that in packaging and shipping a line so what it didn't break it down this was like a 500 mistake so it's on your credit card and there's nothing you can do you can't cancel the order nah oh my god when it says pay in new zealand dollars it said one click new zealand dollars i was like you got it buddy it, buddy. That means it's just going to do the transaction for you in New Zealand dollars. That's not telling you how much.

Sure. I mean, this is all great information. I'm aware of all this now. It didn't go to the next page where it breaks down shipping, the currency conversion. Oh, that I saw. I just saw my address and I was like, you got it, champ, and clicked go. In fact, you did yourself a disservice by doing the one click because then it hides all that from you. I didn't know that that's even a thing. Bloody Jeff

Bezos. Bezos. Bezos. I don't care what his name said. He cost me a lot of money. That was a mistake. That's probably why someone nicked his loods.

Nicked his loods. I've nicked his loads. No, nicked his nudes. Nicked his loads? Nicked his loads. I've nicked my fair share of loads. Yeah. Probably that one click. Someone's just messaging saying you can cancel Amazon orders. Well, it's too late. I got an email this morning at like 3 a.m. saying she's on her way. Does Sade, your wife, know about this?

Probably will soon. Oh, my God. So, oh wow, these things we live and we learn, don't we? Oh yeah, we pay them off on our credit card for the next couple of pays. Oh yeah, yeah. No, I always get that little thing from the bank. It's like, hey, if you pay this much, no interest.

I'm like, you got it, buddy. You got it. Bowery, Bowery, because Bank of New Zealand, I just call them Bowery. Bowery, New Zealand. Bowery, New Zealand. The Bank of Bowery. Okay. So New Zealand, I just call them Bowery. Bowery New Zealand. Bowery New Zealand. The Bank of Bowery. Okay.

So I would like to know this morning, perhaps it was a currency conversion fail. Maybe it was the quick clip through shipping costs that cost you. But I'd like just to know when you boobooed your online order. When you should have contacted me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I made an error in an online purchase,

and, you know, we live and we learn. Yeah. But I've just been reminded that my expensive experience is likely to get more expensive as I've not yet paid duties on it. Well, because it's over duty taxes. What's the limit, Megan? I generally stick to like a $200 limit. Because isn't it anything, I don't know

what it is at the moment, but I'd say if you've spent that much money and it's like photo equipment and it's going to be in a big box, you're in trouble. Good fun. So what, could Warren end up paying another couple of hundy? Yeah. It would be about $100 to $200.

Yep. Good stuff. This is all making you feel great, isn't it? Good times. Yeah. And they don't release the goods until you pay. Right. Yeah.

Do you have to pay in money? Yes. Yeah, you do. You can't just pay in sort of like promises. Yeah. Meats. Meats. Freezer meats.

No. Fruits. No. No fruits. Freezer meats. No. No. Fruits. No. No fruits. Actual money. Jo, Jo's called. Jo, what was your online shopping mistake? Hi.

Yeah, so I've got a bit of a reputation for making online shopping mistakes. Okay. I don't know. It just keeps happening. I don't know why. It's not me, though. It's not you. No, no.

So this one was, I found, I was just, like, surfing online and just kind of getting lost. And I found a website called SurfNZ. And I was like, oh, cool. So just nobody go on it because it's not real. I can't. So it went on there and I was like, oh, it looks cool. Like, look at all the deals.

And there was, like, a sales page. And they they had like, you know, really nice winter jackets, like men's jackets. And so I thought I'll get a couple for my husband for his birthday. Okay. And like great deals, like 70% off. I was like, man, this is awesome. And they were like $70 something each. So I got a few.

Yeah. And like down from, you know, $180 or something. I was like, man, I'm so lucky. And then I paid for them and because, you know, it said Surf NZ, so I thought, well, it's a New Zealand business, so I'm fine. And paid for them and kind of shut the page down and then thought, oh, crap, I didn't even check to see how long it was going to take to get delivered. Yeah.

So I typed the website in again, not real, didn't exist, couldn't find it. What? It just was completely gone. I went into my search history and, like, clicked on the old link, and it was just like, this webpage cannot be defined. Oh, my God. I've never even heard of that happening. Is it possible that they can blacklist you after you've made an order?

Like, your IP address? Well, apparently, because I went, I got got like, got it refunded through my bank, which is great, because each time I've got scammed, I've managed to get a refund. Each time? I bought lots of cool sunglasses, and they just ended up being like fluorescent orange Ray Bons.

Oh, Ray Bons. Yeah, I love a good Ray Bon. Ray Bon. But you know, apparently it was a shell website. A shell? Wow. You need to always check that they've got a returns policy, a returns page and a contact page. Oh, yeah, I don't go that far.

Yeah. I'm just like, oh, wow, 70% off. Awesome. Oh, babes. But how many people don't bother chasing up with their bank because, I don't know, it might only be for $20. Yeah, or it's embarrassing. Yeah, and so they get the money.

Yeah. Crazy. There was a recent scam that I just got done with again. Oh, no. No, no, hang on. It wasn't my fault this time, though. I don't think it was your fault last time either. No, it never has been.

It's just bad luck. No, it was on Spotify. They's just bad luck. No, it was Spotify. They've been, someone has hacked into Spotify and they've been taking the same amount of people's, out of people's accounts. It's like $189.99 or something out of people's accounts for the last couple of weeks. Wow, okay.

And I called my bank just a few days ago and they were like, oh, you know, is it this particular amount? And I was like, yeah, it is. She was like, oh, yeah, there's hundreds of people. What? Because I got logged out of Spotify the other day. I wonder if that's something to do with that. I should check.

Oh, you should check. Yeah, but you can get it back. That's a good PSA, Jo. Thank you. Thank you for your call. Some text messages. Not the only one having shopping fails, mistakes. Somebody wants to remind everybody if you're buying things that run on electricity from the United States.

Oh, yes. A different border top-of-the-range coffee grinder on Amazon for a steal at about $150. Forgot to check if it worked on a New Zealand power supply. It didn't. Luckily, though, they sell $200 power adapters. Oh. Hubby was not super happy about that one. Yeah.

Because it's not even about getting an adapter plug. It has to... It's the voltage. It's the voltage, yeah. Somebody said, my first ever paycheck, I went to a little online shop called Mr. Asos, spent exactly the amount of money I had, and then got a call from customs saying I had to pay $300 to...

Release it....enjoy it. Wow. And then got a call from customs saying I had to pay $300 to further enjoy it. Wow. Always get multiple packages. Good Lord. What, get them sent? Yeah, just buy like all your ASOS things

individually. Right, okay. I mean, it's not great for the environment. More tips and not straight at all. All those plane flights to get your ASOS

stuff here. And plastic and stuff. Somebody bought Celine Dion tickets when they were going to Vegas last year. Oh, okay. For Treat Ourselves. Yep. And we thought, well, the tickets are $450 New Zealand dollars, but we do love Celine. Yep.

Turns out that was American dollars. Oh, my God. But I tell you what, we were three rows from the front and she was glorious. I have now been banned from buying anything from overseas. Much like you may be banned now after your purchase. A lot of people getting stung by those deals like on Instagram that seem too good to be true. Yeah, right.

Like we heard from before. Got to be careful. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast.

Well, comedian and actor Nick Offerman is coming to the country June 22nd in Auckland and the 25th in Christchurch. And he joins us on the phone. Nick Offerman, good morning. How are you? Very well, thank you. How are you going? Great.

I think the last time we spoke to you was before your last New Zealand tour. Well, it's very generous of you to have me back then. It's absolutely our pleasure, but you must have a bit of a soft spot for our little South Pacific nation popping back down. I have not gotten to spend nearly enough time there. And this time my wife will be traveling with me. So we'll get to take in a little more of the scenery which has me thrilled to death. So how long have you allocated? Do you need any tips? Do you need a place to stay? I think we're all set

but I often have a habit of upsetting my guests backstage after the show so a backup plan might not be a bad idea. And last time we talked you just finished a beautiful canoe slash kayak. I'm not sure which of the two it was. What's your latest woodworking project been? Are you still enjoying that?

I am, yeah. I'm desperately trying to finish. I have a batch of a dozen ukuleles and I'm so in love with them. It's so much fun, but I keep getting these fun acting jobs or I keep going on tour, so these things are pissed off at me

sitting at my shop waiting for their strings. Because, you know, in New Zealand, we've got the Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra, and it's an orchestra made up of sometimes up to, like, 30 or 40 ukuleleists playing ukulele songs. That sounds hypnotic. You've just added something to my bucket list. We also have some beautiful New Zealand woods.

I don't know if you noticed any on your last trip. We've got the beautiful remue. Oh, yeah. I actually have a small piece of that wood that I paid handsomely for. A whole bunch of it came to California several years ago. I'm terrified to use it for anything, so we just look at it and press our faces against it and try to smell the dinosaurs.

Smell the history involved in that. So tell us about your show All Rise that you are bringing to Christchurch in Auckland. I am so excited about this show. It's sort of my answer. It's my medicine or my palliative to all of the ire and all the rancor that's going on in the world right now. People screaming and shaking their fists and worse at each other. And instead of continue to add to that fire and argue one side or the other, my show attempts to take a step back and make fun of all of us because it's really all of us

dum-dums that got ourselves in this mess together. And so the sensibility of the title is let's all just take a step back here and look at what joins us together as people, as neighbors, as a community, and all try to rise ethic and using good manners, all with a sense of humor. I definitely will be making you laugh, but hopefully inspiring us all to shake a few more hands after the show. Well, it sounds like something the world needs, and even down here in New Zealand we need a double dose,

and that's why it's happening in Auckland at the Town Hall on Saturday, June 22nd, and the Isaac Theatre Royal in Christchurch on Tuesday, June 25th. Nick Offerman's tour All Rise. Nick, thanks for chatting. Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you soon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Broadcasting today

from our Wellington studios. Not because it's Budget Day here in the capital. A little bit. Well, not at all, really. A little bit because it's Budget day here in the capital. A little bit. Well, not at all, really. A little bit because it's budget day. Yeah. Might be getting a sizable portion. You are.

Of that government spending. For what? The show? Oh, no, just myself. I don't know if that's the basis that I want. A tractor? I've been thinking a lot about tractors lately. I don't know if during the budget they're going to announce you're getting a free tractor. I just don't know if that... They should. They really... you're getting a free tractor. I just don't know if that...

They should. They really... You don't need a tractor. It should be like a drawer. Everybody needs a tractor. Do they? Very practical. Last night, to Tingo Bingo, our Wellington event, and what a night.

Great night, great night. And we are off to Christchurch in Dunedin next week. You can register by faxing or going on our website or just texting BINGO to 9696. Yeah, we can fire you back those details. Next Wednesday in Christchurch at Fat Eddie's Dunedin at Starters Bar.

Now, last night, very special guest. We did. Very special guest. We consulted her as she is the closest thing we could find to a bingo expert,

Soundkeeper Gary's mum, Moana. We had a chat to her last night. All right, we're here post-Chichingo bingo with our expert in bingo that we turn to for all of our advice, Moana, mother of Soundkeeper Gary, and also... I'd say veteran of bingo. Veteran of bingo affairs. How did we go?

It was a great night. Very different. Different good, different bad? Different good. The problem with the music, it was so good. It was quite distracting actually, listening to the numbers being called. Talked to my fellow

bingo players at our table and one thing they struggled with was your tens for example, your 19 and your 19. Oh, his enunciation. Well, we did have a bit of drama tonight, didn't we? Well, we did. We had our first ever person come up thinking they had the bingo

but they thought I had said 19 when I had said 19. So how do we avoid that? The importance of saying that digit twice Right, 90 and then maybe even a 9-0 9-0-90 Yes, and you'll avoid it big time

Right, but overall out of 10, how would you give the Chichingo Bingo? Oh, that was an 11, love Oh, brilliant Well, you won a round too, didn't you? I did I was very excited, but no, it was great High praise from a bingo expert. Yes.

Like an absolute veteran. Now, had you had a couple of beers these last... I'd like to address that issue, actually. Can we listen to this audio again? Let's have just a... All right, we're here post-Chichingo bingo with our expert in bingo that we turned... I'd like to mount a defence, Your Honour, if I may. here post-Chichingo Bingo with our expert in bingo that we turned off.

I'd like to mount a defence, Your Honour, if I may. I just spent hours yelling into a microphone, yelling numbers. It had nothing to do with the drinks. Well, I'd had 10 or 12 beers, but that's by the boy, really. You shan't be judged. You shan't be shamed.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. 96% of Gen Zers, that's younger than millennials, right? Yes, it is. Okay, so 96% of Gen Zers and apparently at least three quarters of Americans use their phone while they're going number twos. Good. They're sitting on the toilet. Great way to pass the time.

Although the doctor did tell me that I should just get in, do my business and get out. Oh, really? Because I was about to say, wouldn't it be healthy to just take your time and chill? No, apparently it's the modern cause of hemorrhoids. Really? Really.

Because there used to be, I can remember my granddad sitting on the toilet with the newspaper and he'd just kind of just sit there until he's finished the newspaper. And he said the modern equivalent is you go in and you go on your phone and you get distracted from the task at hand and you sit in an unnatural position. And the way you sit on a toilet seat and it's got support on the outsides, but the middle starts to fall through, it kind of pushes everything out a little bit more than it should.

And then the additional squeezing if you're sitting there for a long time. Right. Because you were terrible for being long in the toilet. You were always playing games and on your phone. Yep.

Quiet time. Yeah, a lot of parents say that's their quiet time, right? As long as you can lock the door. Until you see little fingers coming underneath the door. Oh, that's creepy. Oh, my daughters write me notes now.

Like, because they're writing, they write notes and skip them under the door. When are you coming back? When are you going to be our daddy again? But I've only been in here five minutes, kids. I remember what you used to look like. But apparently people are, like, calling their parents,

like, doing all kinds of tasks, paying bills and everything on their phone. Oh, yeah, I do that. I send emails. You wouldn't make a call on the toilet, would you? I'll answer a call. I talk to mum, but like when she's talking, I press mute so she can't hear anything. Not that she'd be able to. Like a rogue plop.

Yeah, or then you just wait and you're like, quick, say something, and then you press mute again. It's more than evident that you're in the toilet. When you call someone and they're like, hello, and it's like, quick, say something, and then you press mute again. It's more than evident that you're in the toilet. Yeah. When you call someone and they're like, hello, and it's like, hello, hello. Yeah, because it's echo-y, isn't it? You can totally tell. Yeah.

So basically everybody is doing this. Yeah. So that's an American study, and how many people do you say use the phone while doing the toilet, sitting down? Doing the toilet. Three quarters of all Americans, but if you're talking about Gen Zers, the younger

population, 96%. Well, we asked this morning, do you use your phone while poop emoji? And 100% said 84%. 100% said 84%? 84%. Before you just said doing toilets,

and now you're saying 100%. No, wait, 100%. So we asked them the question, ooh, gross, or 100% I use my phone on the toilet. Ah, right. That's why I've said, yeah. Ah, right. So 84% use their phone while on the toilet. See, I've heard of a get in and get out kind of thing.

I don't like to stew. If somebody took that pole while on the toilet using their phone. Well, I'm sure a lot of people probably did, yeah. I'll have a quick look on my phone, but I'm pretty like to stew. If somebody took that pole while on the toilet, you'd be in their phone. Well, I'm sure a lot of people probably did. During the morning business. I'll have a quick look on my phone, but I'm pretty in and out. Yeah. You're kind of in and out with everything in your life.

Don't they say that it's bad because then all the particles get up in the air? Oh. So the longer you sit there, you're just in parties. Yeah, and then you've got your phone in there. You sound like an anti-vaxxer. Because you wash your hands, but you don't wash your phone, do you? No, you never give it a... No, but you don't got your phone in there. You sound like an anti-vaxxer. Because you wash your hands, but you don't wash your phone, do you?

No, you never give it a... No, but you don't touch your phone. This is... No, you poo, and you're playing on your phone, and then you put your phone in your pocket, and you wipe, and you do your business, you wash your hands, you don't touch it again until your hands are clean again.

No, but the particles are on the phone. Yeah, you don't touch it again until you put it to your face to talk to someone. We shouldn't be too worried about particles. Everybody's bloody worried about particles. Oh, do you know how viruses spread? Yeah, but... Particles. You've been watching Chernobyl. How can you

still not worry about particles? I'm not worried about... Well, listen, granted, Megan, I'm not going to take a nuclear reactor core that's melting down into the toilet with me because I believe those particles could be somewhat dangerous, but we walk down streets with cars driving past puffing out smoke. Not everybody's like, oh, cover your mouth with particles.

Yeah, right. It's good for you. It's your immune system. Absolutely on track. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. It's not that really sad as a celebrity.

Although I've always thought when you die, it would be nice to see the celebration that people do for you. So I guess in that respect, it's kind of cool. But when you have those death rumours about you and you're like, hey, I'm still here. Turn your microphone on. Who had the

death rumour? Is it Jeff Goldblum that had the New Zealand death rumours? A couple of other people. It's always hang gliding in Nelson. death room is it Jeff Goldblum that had the New Zealand death roomers nearly all the time him and a couple other people it's always hang gliding in Nelson

or something and they died and then they have to go out and address it because it kind of takes them Morgan Freeman's

had them yeah but then for older celebrities that's kind of like you're waiting for it aren't you you're waiting for it

but younger celebrities it's kind of weird that they have to do it so this one was RIP Hayley Williams from Paramore. So I think this falls into a good category of people. You shouldn't fake anybody's death, but it's believable because she was everywhere for a while, but now you don't hear from her. So it was the rumour that if someone was like, she's dead,

you would be like, oh, that's why I haven't heard. Yeah. Paramore for a while. So that was trending, the hashtag on Twitter over the past few days. If you saw that, she has come to the party and said, this week on the internet hurts. I'm not dead. I don't think.

Also, Paramore are not in the studio right now making their sixth album. I'm sorry. So I'm not dead. I don't want to make new music. Leave me alone. I'm just chilling at the moment. Yeah, right. But there was lots of lovely videos made for her that she would have seen. People made videos? Yeah, like a celebration

of life and stuff. But it's pretty creepy because it had, you know, like 1988 to 2000 or 2019 on it. Oh, wow. Yeah. She's not dead. Do not panic. No.

But I would love to know about rumours that you'd heard about yourself. Because as a celebrity, you'd hear some crazy stuff. Oh, but it doesn't even need to be, you don't even need to be a celebrity, do you? No. Everybody just gets rumours about themselves. Like, I've had lots of rumours about people I've slept with, whereas my body count is actually quite low. What?

That sounds like a death count. My person count. No, Megan is like a spider. She sleeps with them and then kills them. So it's actually like exactly the same as the number. It's a death count.

No, you say my number is low. Yeah. Yeah, because that makes it sound like you do murder them after you sleep with them. No, I don't, but I'd like to.

So you had people saying that... I've had lots of people say that, like there's been rumours floating around with people that I have been with, which is just saying it on national radio right now. Not true.

Not true. But because you had a husband that whole time. Yes. And people were... That's horrible. Yes, horrible, eh? But yeah, I'm...

Well, we had a gay rumour, didn't we? That's right. We had the girl search. We don't know that that's completely unfounded. No, but then it was actually somebody who, if I said their name, you'd know exactly who they were, once told us a senior class at a girls' school that we were. That's right. Somebody asked them a question and they said, oh, yeah, they are.

And it's somebody that knew we weren't. Right. You actually have to type in quite a bit now. Yeah, we've gone down the gay Google search. Having a couple of kids will do that to you, gay. Because you brought me into the relationship. Is it throwing people off the scent? Maybe, but that for a while was,

are Fletch and Vaughn gay was a top Google search. Yeah, yeah. Just how old are Fletch and Bourne now? Really old. Is that one of the questions? Yeah. Oh, no. Probably because you keep going on about your goats and your, oh, yeah, but I'm just old

at heart. And literally, I have an old heart. It's well beyond its years. Right. Okay. Well, so you want to hear from people that have had to deal with rumours about themselves that aren't true. The most outlandish rumour you've heard about yourself.

What about you, Fletch? Oh, they're probably all... Probably funny, right? Where there's smoke, there's fire. Oh, please. And in Fletch's case, a Californian-sized wildfire. With all the firemen squirting all their hoses and they can't put it out. They're like a coolant overseas reinforcement.

Oh my god. Whatever. But do you think most of these would be just like I mean I was going to say mostly when you're at school there are these rumours but then you were in the workplace and people were saying that you'd had all these affairs. So I don't know. Surely the workplace it's all about the goss.

Alright well give us a call 0800 DARS at M 9696. When have you, workplace, it's all about the goss. All right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARZATM-9696. When have you had a rumour go around about you and what was it? Obviously a rumour that wasn't true. That would be preferable. That would be, yeah. It's not a rumour, is it? It's just a secret that somebody found out otherwise. Gather around because we've got the tea.

We've got some goss. We've got some hot tea. Talking about when you've had a rumour go around about yourself. Hayley Williams from Paramore had a death rumour spread around when she is in fact alive and well. It's amazing what we're hearing from people. It's kind of sad.

Yeah, like... Because this can affect people's lives. And that someone would just make it up just for fun. Yeah. Some of these are pretty crazy. Some text messages in. After being in hospital for three days with a kidney infection,

I came home to find out that the rumour was I had contracted a very bad strain of gonorrhea. That's a bad one. You'd have to tell everyone, hey, I don't have gonorrhea, but then it sounds like you did. That's what someone with gonorrhea would say. Exactly.

Somebody else said, the husband and I moved from Switzerland to Hawke's Bay and bought some property. Rumour was, a Swiss banker and his model wife

had invested in land. Me, I'm from Tauranga and my husband's originally from England and we're not a banker or a model. Oh, I just heard model wife.

I take it. Yes, I am. Yes, we are. Rumours are only damaging when they make you sound disgusting, but if it's like a lie and it makes you seem better, then yeah, totally take it. Ashley's on the line.

Ashley, what was the rumor going around about you? When I was at school, someone had said that I'd sent them boob pics, and it went around the whole school, which is completely wrong because I had a non-pics phone and I have no tits, so. So very much, well, inaccurate. So this person said that you sent them the boob pics, but then never proved it to anybody.

Yeah, well, no, they'd shown people pictures and I was like, I would love to see these. Right, but they weren't you. They weren't your boobs. No. It sucks. And nothing that you could say kind of could do anything about that rumour. It was just out there.

Yeah, yeah, it was just out there. And obviously being a lot younger, you get a bit self-conscious. And also, I don't want to kind of advertise the fact that I was completely flat-chested. It was very obvious. Yeah, right. Okay. Ashley, thanks for your call. Georgina, or Georgia, what was the rumour going around about you?

Hi. So I applied for a new job at the start of the year, and it was a two-IRC position. And I get in, and after a few weeks, found out why a girl was very standoffish around me. And she had gone around telling everyone I bullied her in high school. After I looked into it and confronted her,

I lived in Wellington whilst we supposedly went to the same high school. So she hadn't got the position and I didn't. So she wanted to make it look like you were a school bully? Yeah. But she didn't even actually go to the same school as you.

I thought that maybe she'd confused you for someone that she'd gone to school with. No, we just straight up never met each other, and she wanted the position and didn't get it. Oh, my God. So when you found out about it, did you bully her? Oh, come on, man. Because it's like double jeopardy. You can't be convicted of the same crime twice.

You know what she thinks you did? You wanted to bully her as an adult. So I sat her down with the boss, and she ended up quitting the next week, unfortunately. Yeah, bullied her out. That sounds like a very mature way to handle it. Yeah, very mature. I got promoted to manager out of it.

Well, a week later. Oh, girl. Look at her go. Brilliant. I was like, I've never met you. Yeah, that's so weird, isn't it? All right, Georgia, thanks for your call. Sarah Jane, what was the rumour going around about you?

Well, I grew up, well, I lived in a very small town near Moranville and my husband had a vasectomy and after I had a third child and four years later, I had another child. So the stories that went around a small town were child and four years later I had another child so obviously the stories that went around a small town were that I had been a little bit promiscuous and cheated on him.

But it can happen, can't it? They can get through after they do the vasectomy and close the tunnel. Yeah, there was a lot of rumours, a lot of questions asked and then we did have another child after that which was a bit, you know, concerning but anyway, yeah, it was a bit of a lot of rumours, a lot of questions asked, and then we did have another child after that, which was a bit, you know, concerning. But anyway, yeah, it was a bit of a proof of point.

I think everybody needs to know who got this vasectomy done. It sounds like a terrible service. Lots of women come up to us and say, please don't tell the story to my husband. Please don't tell him the story. Right. So you had three kids, a vasectomy, then two more? Yes, yeah.

Do you get a refund? Oh, well, we have had lots of people say, you need to sue them or something or claim for one of those children, you know, like start getting some money back off it. But, yeah, no, apparently it's not all, you know, it's not 100%, so you can't really go in and claim or anything. Oh, I'd still be asking for at least a voucher. Yeah, a voucher for what?

I don't know. A gift for a spa day or something. That's the least I could do is get you a spa day. Sarah-Jane, thanks for your calls and text messages. I started a new school when I was 13. On the first day, everybody was nice, and then everyone got a little bit more distance. It turned out a girl just decided that she was going to say I was pregnant at 13.

Wow. So that was really weird when I wasn't. A few people, this is starting a new school story number two, started at a new school and apparently I got suspended from my, expelled, sorry, from my last school for sleeping with a PE teacher. Okay. That was a 14-year-old that had suffered that. Oh, wow.

Okay. These are so salacious. Pretty nuts. Apparently I've had over $100,000 worth of plastic surgery twice. Okay. So that's $200,000 worth of plastic surgery. And my ex used to give me $50,000 a week for spending money.

Dude, I drove a Suzuki Swift. Like, where have I gone wrong with my investments if I was getting $50,000 a week? Yeah, true. But still, they think you paid $100,000 for something you grew yourself, so. But that's probably why she can't afford a good car. She's got to have a Suzuki Swift. Yeah, because she spent it all on the booth.

Nice! Some other text messages in on rumors that you've heard about yourself um somebody said i had a rumor go around when i was 13. so this is the other thing like you can think about at 13 how hard and confusing life is anyway and then having to deal with everybody thinking you slept with the whole first 15 rugby team. When you were 13. Jeez. Funny thing is, when I finally told my mum what was wrong because this was upsetting me, she said, do you know what? I had the same rumour go around about me when I was at school.

And look how great mum turned out. Running the family. Yeah, right. Yeah, who cares what people say? Yeah, it's crazy, eh? Good Lord. Oh, hold someone's message and sing

an old friend of Vaughan's. Spread a rumour about me and my best friend. I don't know who that is, but the old friend there, that's not, that's not in my current stable of friends.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about Pokemon. Pokemon? Pokemons. In particular, Pikachu. No, Pikachu. Because Pikachu's one of the Pokemons, one of the only Pokemon that brought their name across from Japanese

because, you know, like Squirtle, he's a turtle, he squirts water, so he's Squirtle. Yep. Charmander is like a salamander, but he burns things so Char, Charmander, they're I think most of their names. Pikachu brings his name across from

Japanese because it's such a cute name, I guess. Yeah, Pikachu. Pikachu. But what does it mean? such a cute name, I guess. Yeah, Pikachu. But what does it mean? Because all of their names mean something. Because, like, yeah, all of their names mean something in Japan and then translated to English kind of changed it around. Right. It has to be electrical, right? Very good.

Yes. So Pikachu is meant to teach his pet. It's a mix of the Japanese word for sparkle, which is pika pika. That's when something sparkles at Pika Pika's. Like, oh, look at the stars, pika pika. He always says pika, pika. Pika, and then choo choo is the noise of squeaking.

Sparkle squeak. Sparkle squeak is what Pikachu's name roughly translates to, and it's because he's electric Pokemon, and so he sparkles, and he gets electric, and he's actually like a rodent type. And if you were going to make a mouse noise, what would you say a mouse sounds like? Squeak.

Squeak. Yeah. Cute. So Pikachu's name is a mixture of Pika Pika for sparkle and Choo Choo for squeaking, so his name means sparkle squeak because he's an electric mouse. Cute. Very cute.

I was thinking about telling that mouse story I told you guys yesterday, but it's pretty intense, isn't it? Oh, no, don't say that electric mouse. Cute. Very cute. I was thinking about telling that mouse story I told you guys yesterday, but it's pretty intense, isn't it? Oh, no, don't say that on air. No. What are you, crazy? Do you want people to tune out? Not really.

It's kind of what our jobs depend on. So today's fact of the day is Pikachu's name is basically Sparkle Squeak. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Loud choice of on, on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Just in the studio, I literally said something, and as I took a breath afterwards,

Fletch said it. What did he say? Next thing you've been telling me, the voice of Bart Simpson's a girl. And Fletch was like, next thing you've been telling me, old Bart Simpson's a girl. I just thought of it.

Anyway, that's why we're laughing. I know how I feel. That's why we're laughing. So, we're going to Blenheim now. We're going to Blenheim. We're going to Blenheim. Blenheim. Because apparently, So, we're going to Blenheim now. We're going to Blenheim. We're going to Blenheim. Blenheim. Blenheim.

Because apparently this is a hotspot of tourist-based shoplifting. You know why? It's because you've got to kill some time before the inter-Islander. And also there's a lot of seasonal workers. Seasonal workers. Yeah. Picking up work where they can. Well, two tourists who repeatedly stole things from the supermarket have had their day in court and apparently they stole

because food is so expensive in New Zealand. Vaughan, what food were they stealing? Great question. They were stealing... You know that Megan or I could have asked that. I don't know if you were ready for it. Vaughan, what food were they stealing? Thank you for asking, Megan.

These tourists who... You'll remember moments ago I said they said food was expensive in New Zealand, were stealing hummus, kombucha, chia seeds and pate. They did so out of pure desperation. Oh, you're desperate for their hummus. For the real basic foods there, eh? It's just French and British. It's like, Neil's just a chop out there. It's so expensive.

How's a man supposed to drink organic kombucha? Not wrong, though. Kombucha is expensive. But that's no excuse to steal it. If someone was like, I've got no money. I'm so sorry. I need to feed my children.

I stole a dollar loaf of bread. I'd be like, geez, that's tough, man. That's reflective of tough times. And while stealing isn't okay, you could understand that. You could kind of understand the desperation of somebody that wanted to provide for their family. But when you're 21 and 25 and stealing hummus, chia seeds,

organic kombucha, and almond butter as well. Almond butter. Almond butter. Just for a hard door butter you toss. Like, just go for a cheap peanut butter, mate. Yeah. Yeah, like the rest of us. Just almond butter?

Come on, man. So, yeah, chia seeds, the organic kombucha. Couldn't even be bothered stealing non-organic kombucha. No, if you're going to steal it, you do the good stuff. You might as well go top shelf. Go top shelf stuff. Yeah, right. They've had their day, to steal it, you do the good stuff. You might as well go top shelf, go top shelf stuff. Yeah, right. They've had their

day though and they've been charged and apparently this is a real, this is a problem in Blenheim. Right. And the judge thinks, no just

shoplifting in general but this is obviously the best one because then you can put like kombucha in a headline so you win every day because people who don't like kombucha

click a kombucha headline. You kombucha fans click a kombucha headline. People whoucha fans click a kombucha headline. People who don't even know what kombucha is probably think it's some weird sex act. They'll click it. Try to get a fix of their fetish. But apparently New Zealand's a soft touch.

That's what this judge believes. He's like, and it's time to stomp this out amongst tourists that we're a soft touch and we don't take shoplifting seriously. So they are going to be burnt alive today in Blenheim. At 1 o'clock this afternoon. In the town square. Exactly.

We're not a soft touch. That's going to show them, isn't it? I tell you what, you'll think twice before putting your hand into the kombucha pick and mix. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen tooan and Megan The Podcast If you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts Head music lives here ZM