ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 31 2018

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

Our own show love story unfolded on air, How Do You Know and do you have a nickname for your partner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Sparks. Shoot incredible videos in super slow-mo with the Samsung Galaxy S9. 10 out of 10. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, honey. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello. Good morning. Is it World Smoke Free Day today? It is.

Yes. I was walking to work and got stuck behind a couple of smokers. I was like, it is world smoke-free day. Get out of my way. Did you say that? Were they having a durry at this time of the morning?

Yeah, mate. I'm always confused by that. That's the part that blows my mind. Yeah, waking up. So I've been waking up and being like, oh, wow.

No, you're assuming they'd woken up and had a durry. Oh, they were just out and about with us. Wednesday's a big night. Walking to work on Thursday through the city is always a gauntlet of people eating kebabs.

Student? Yeah, it's a big student night. Yep. So there's always like a few drunk people going home. Oh, not much has changed since the 2000s. I was one of those students singing Papa Roach. Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort

Suffocation No breathing I could go on. It was a real boomer of a time for what we called new metal. In you. God.

With your big skate shoes on to get big skate shoes. But the knockoff ones that my parents brought me home from Bali, I wasn't made of money. I wasn't getting the handout enough to buy myself a nice clothes while I was a student. Blew all my money on bleaching my hair.

And that all fell out, didn't it? It did. That was a waste of time. Not a solid investment. Anya is loving this reminiscing. Oh, my God. You guys are so old. Hey.

Lucky young millennial. Watch it. That's a banger of a song, though. I'm surprised it hasn't been a Friday flashback, to be honest. Could it be, or is it two? Do you even know that song, Anya? No, I've never heard of it. This is my last song.

So, no. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following headlines. The others, we delete those. We never find out about them. Headline one, one-star gynecologist review ends in court for woman.

Headline two, public's fury after man's top to bottom record. And headline three, amen to that. I don't have any of those. Yeah, all kind of kind of just one star review. Yeah. I don't know. Is that an appropriate thing to talk about?

Um, yeah, there's no talk about foo foos. Okay. I just, forgive me for assuming there were, there's no talk about foo-foos. Okay. I just forgive me for assuming there were. There was because of his occupation in One Star Review. I mean, I can keep it very professional. But what's Amen to that? And then Top to Bottom Review. The record.

The Top to Bottom record. Okay. What? Well, just pick one. Is there more to Amen to that? Is the Top to Bottom record about that cheese rolling? No. Because I said I've just done that again.

You know that one where Mark Ellis won that one, yeah? Did he? They roll a cheese wheel down a hill. It's a real old thing, and they chase it in the first one. And it's crazy. You know when you start running so fast you can't stop? Yeah. It's like you're down a hill.

You just roll. They just roll. Well, that's the thing. You just end up rolling and breaking your legs and stuff. A bit of carnage. Yeah. Okay, not too. Aim into that, probably. Okay, we're going to lock and breaking your legs and stuff. A bit of carnage, yeah. Okay, not sure. Amen to that,

probably. Okay, we're going to lock that in. Story number three. We go to America now, where a New Orleans televangelist, who is known for preaching the prosperity gospel, has asked followers from all over the world to send in

donations for his $54 million private jet. Two of them have done this recently. Jesse Duplantis is his name. Jesse Duplantis.

And he is asking for a new Falcon 7X, a three engine jet, and a five minute video that he posted last week on his website saying it could go further therefore saving the airplane fuel he said pray about becoming a partner to it he said he said i really believe if jesus was physically on the earth today he wouldn't be riding a donkey no he says in the video he'd be in an airplane preaching the gospel, flying all over the world.

Jesus Christ. Pun and blasphemy both fully intended. That's just insane. He goes on to say God specifically told him somehow. I don't know how he's in connection with God, but he said, I want you to believe in me for a Falcon 7X. Right. Right. Yeah.

This isn't his first private jet, by the way. He's basically fleeced his followers out of private airplanes for the Lord in 1994, 2004, and 2006. So basically, he doesn't upgrade every couple of years. I mean, if people are going to give him money, they're ready. It's a beautiful plane. The thing is, you see that.

Jesus would ride in that. Jesus probably would go. I'd go in that. Anybody would go in that, wouldn't they? It's quite big for a private jet. I mean, to be honest, Jesus would probably go Jetstar because it's cheap. Yeah. Wouldn't he? Yeah, and no judgment for sandals and a toga. Yeah. Wouldn't he? Yeah, and no judgment. No judgment. For sandals and a toga.

Exactly. And a bit of a pong because let's face facts, our Lord and Saviour would be a bit of a stinky ponger. Like he was just walking around a lot. A lot of desert, yeah. I never heard about him,

oh, like every now and then he'd have a wash in a river and baptise, you know, there'd be baptisms. Yeah. You're in so much trouble for saying Jesus would have been a stinky pong pong. He would have been a stinky pong pong.

And if he had used the other one, he would have been like a Lynx Africa sort. Oh, yeah, Africa. And too much. Like, back it up, Jesus. I'm older now than Jesus apparently was when... He died. You know, I think when he was doing his, you know,

his walk around talking in his 20s, I was like, I could imagine, you could imagine Jesus and I at the same age trying to pull the same stuff. What are you guys doing now? Do you want to just go for a walk? Come on. And then just start spinning yarns. Oh, my money gets out of getting worse, doesn't it?

Yeah, well, any complaints, send them to Vaughan. And if you want to donate money to Vaughan's private jet. Oh no Money gets out of getting worse Isn't it Yeah well Any complaints Send them to Vaughan And if you want to donate money To Vaughan's private jet Any complaints You can actually just make them Straight to God He'll get in touch with me

Because he's helping fund Your private jet isn't he He is actually Yeah yeah yeah He's getting the word out there How's your fund going For your private jet Pretty slowly

Okay Pretty slowly Do you have a dollar amount Um 17 17 dollars Of your own money Yes Right Slowly. Okay. Pretty slowly. Do you have a dollar amount? Um, $17. $17. Of your own money? Yes.

Right. Yeah. So it's going to be a slow fundraise, that one. I don't think God doesn't want me to have a private jet. No. Bit of a slap in the face after all this. You might get a one-way Jetstar on special, though, for $17. That's very true.

Grab a seat. Yeah. Or God a seat. Sure. Known in the religious community. F.M. A problem arising in Hawaii is that people are popping down to see the... This volcano is still going, by the way.

Yeah. Mount... No, I believe... No, I was hoping you weren't going to ask what it's called. A Vassu... No, isn't it called like Kilauea or something? Yep. I was just reading a village

it went through. Oh, okay. I thought you were making up a Hawaiian volcano. You know what, I probably could have if it wasn't you kids. Falafelava. Because there's lava. Two lavas. Right. This is like Iceland.

Every time there's an Icelandic volcano, just take a shot. Don't... Make a noise that your dryer made last time it wasn't working properly. That Icelandic volcano. So the big problem is the experts who are throughing about this volcano, while they're like careful, very dangerous, they're like, oh yeah, keep going.

The lava's hit the scene. This is the good stuff. That image, the video that somebody took in the ocean. Dropping off a cliff into the... Oh, wow. Because there's parts of Hawaii where there's sort of semi-permanent underwater bubbling of lava. You always see it on Blue Planet and anything. David Attenborough's like, I'm just bubbling.

And you're like, yes, it is. It looks amazing. But this is dropping off a cliff into... Yeah, that's cool. It's an amazing video. So there's just all these aspects that they're getting to study and they're just loving it, but they do have a warning. Okay. No cooking marshmallows

over the lava. Because apparently people are doing it for the gram mostly. Yeah, right. Okay. If they see people doing it, they're always like, don't eat those. And 90% they say of people are saying, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Of course, we know that. It's just for a photo. Right.

And their mate in the background. How many would kill you? I'm surprised how close people are. It's insanely high. It's blowing my mind. I thought people would have to be quite further back than they are. Yeah. Because it's so slow moving, you can actually get quite close to it.

Getting as close as they can and putting a marshmallow over for a photo of them cooking marshmallow over lava, but the gases in it. I mean, just getting close to it's pretty dangerous. Yeah. You should be wearing a Walter White full face methamphetamine making mask, but, you know, to filter out some of the gases. Or not going near it at all. It's very, very dangerous.

But they're saying these people getting closer, not only out some of the gases. Or not going near it at all. It's very, very dangerous. But they're saying these people getting closer, not only exposing themselves to the gases, but also if they plan on eating those marshmallows, they've been cooked over poison. But so many likes on the gram. Oh, wouldn't you? And if I was there, I totally would. And remember, marshmallows are ABT.

Always be tuning. Always be tuning. Oh, really? Always. Don't let your marshmallows get you. This is a light. Always be. See, I'm a bit like you with the charcoal on it too.

I love the charcoal. But I've got a range of people to marshmallow cook for. Yeah. Sade likes them always be turning. Always be turning. The kids like them literally in and out. They'd rather just eat the marshmallow straight out the bags. But I like a good, I like to set mine on fire and then rolling it while it's on fire.

Yeah. Blowing it out. But if you ever like, it's gone on fire and you've given it a shake because it's on fire and then it slides off. It hits you. It's like napalm. Yeah. Blimey. If you ever like, it's gone on fire and you've given it a shake because it's on fire and then it slides off. It hits you. It's like napalm. Yeah. It's like lava.

It is. It'll melt through anything. Tasty lava. Delicious, tasty pink lava. There's an Auckland brewery that's in the line of the Trump supporters who, I don't know

if you guys know this, but very vocal online. Oh, yeah, guys know this, but very vocal online. Oh, yeah, they are. Very, very vocal online. They'll mobilize and go ya. Oh, they certainly will. I don't know who pointed them in the direction of behemoth brewing,

but the Dump the Trump, which is an American IPA. Is IPA the one that gives you titties? I don't know. So I only just read out that the PA stands for pale ale because I love an extra pale ale. A huge fan of extra pale ale. But isn't there some of those beers that are like,

what do they call them? Yeah. Boutique-y ones? Craft beers. Craft beers. They give you like. Yeah, there was a study into one of the something PAs. Was it the IPAs or the APAs or the?

They make your man breasts grow, Megan. Do they? This is what I heard. Do they work for girls? Very good question. Make your girl breasts grow? I don't know. I think it's when you just have beer in general,

I think it makes everything grow a little bit and get a bit podgy. It can. To be honest. It can if you go overboard. So there's a caricature of Donald Trump, but it looks more like a sort of a monster on the front. And it's called Dump the Trump, American IPA. This goes hand in hand with their other creation, which was a beer called Impeachment Sour Ale, which had a peachy flavour to it and also featured Trump. Featured a Trump caricature, but yeah, they're wearing it online.

I'm guessing this is what they wanted though. They wanted a bit of publicity and now they're getting it. So online, you know how when there's companies online, you can rate them out of five stars on their Facebook pages? Yeah, Google or Google. So this has taken their five-star review down to a three-star because of the mobilization of the Trump supporters. They haven't even tried the beer.

Who went on there and just zeroed it. Yeah, I know. But it was just, they pretended they had. That's the thing about online reviews is that people don't actually have to have anything other than a bad feeling about you. Yeah, grudge. And Trump supporters. Very level-headed, well-rounded human beings.

Very true, Megan. Very true. Always. But I mean, we're in New Zealand, so we know the truth. We know it's a good beer. We know it was a five-star beer. Yeah. So we'll support it.

It's like you want to click on it and just click on five even though I've got no idea what's going on, just to sort of pull it back. Oh, it's bounced back up to a 4. Yeah. So we'll support it. Most likely you want to click on it and just click on five even though I've got no idea what's going on just to sort of pull it back. Oh, it's bounced back up to a 4.3. Oh, that's good. So maybe the anti-Trumps have mobilised as well.

Oh, I love a good mobilisation. This is going to have more votes than our election. More like reviews. More clicks. We'll wait till we get the Russians involved. Fletch

Vaughn and Megan the podcast the luxury fashion brand Balenciaga is the one who created the

platform bedazzled Crocs was that like six months ago they were hideous yeah they were well the Crocs yeah they were yellow

well you could have them in different colours you could have pink ones oh no I think they were more than that. I'd say they were more than that. It's not a cheap brand, Vaughn. Just ridiculous. They also made a leather version of like an Ikea bag

and they've made a skirt out of like one of the mats in your cars, like a foot mat. Are they just taking the mat? I don't know. I think it's just for everyone to talk about But they do other normal stuff right? Oh yeah

Oh right okay Yeah Cardi B sings about their heels in her latest song or like really cute heels Right But yeah I think this is just for like I don't know

Art Or art I'm not sure But the latest has everyone talking This is a well they call it an indigo t-shirt shirt.

So this retails at, I think it's $2,000. I'll stop you now. Oh no, $1,290. Or a t-shirt. Yeah, but it's a t-shirt shirt. Because you know there's that Macklemore song where he's like $50 for a t-shirt

and then rags on selling $50 t-shirts for $50 and then ironically he sold t-shirts at his gig for $50. Yeah. Thrift shop. Yeah. Even $50 for a t-shirt is way too much for a t-shirt and you're telling me this is $1,200?

Look at Megan's face! You don't want to pay $50 for a t-shirt. God no, it's a t-shirt. What about if it's made in New Zealand? The label or the t-shirt? Because I've heard you can just work a label on it and then just go on the full

offensive. Right. You know, if you're getting good quality things made. Anyway, beside the point this is, yeah, this is, in New Zealand dollars nearly $2,000. I'll just make it myself. Are you ready to see it? So it's a t-shirt. Oh my God. That has a shirt tacked onto the front of it.

So you could wear the shirt and then the t-shirt would be on your back. No, you wear the t-shirt. So you can't wear the shirt. So there's literally a shirt on the front of the t-shirt. You're right. It does boast that it can be worn two ways. So you could wear the shirt. You could wear the shirt.

But that's just bloody stupid. So you've got your casual wear on the back. Yeah. And then you could slip into your formal this shirt and then vice versa. So it's being worn. The guy's got the t-shirt on and the shirt's just hanging on the front of it. But just wear the t-shirt underneath the shirt. No. You don't need it to be sewed on. The just wear the t-shirt underneath the shirt. No.

You don't need it to be sewed on. My main problem is neither of the shirts are very cool. Like, the front shirt looks like an accountant will wear it and the back shirt is like a badly sized blue t-shirt. Yeah, that's my main problem. And is that $2,000 American dollars? No, no, no.

It works out to be like $1,817 New Zealand dollars. Absolutely taking the muck. For a minute. That's a joke. That reminds me of when they used to have T-shirts with fake long sleeve shirts underneath. So it looked like you were wearing a T-shirt over a long sleeve shirt, but it wasn't. It was just the sleeves were just sewn up under the sleeves. And then they also had button up shirts that had T-shirts sewn in underneath.

Why? That was a weird... I can't explain this. I just remember them. Oh, okay. So that you could wear the shirt undone. Undone, but you had a shirt on underneath for all the time. Just to make it easy for guys.

And the button shirts didn't unbutton. Yeah. It was literally like putting on a T-shirt and then on top of that T-shirt was a shirt. It was ultimate unlaziness. But at least it didn't cost $2,000. I think it cost like $25

at Jeans West or something. When Helen's signs dipped their toe in that pool as well. What is the most you'll spend on a t-shirt now then? Like $25.

At AS Color. Yeah. I just wouldn't buy a t-shirt for more than that. Why? What if it was really cool? How cool can it be? Is it $25 cool?

I just love that you just don't care about fashion at all. I just don't care at all. Someone commented to me on these jeans the other day. Because what are these? These are Federation jeans. We've got these that are like real steel. Yeah. $60.

I won't tell you my source. They probably don't even want me saying that their jeans are anywhere available for $60. But someone said, I really like your jeans. And I said,

oh yeah. What are they? Are they Federation? And they were like, Vaughn, you bought Federation jeans? And I went, that was $60.

How could I say no? And I was like, oh, okay, here we go. The stylist here at work who does all the photo shoots found those for you, didn't she? 100%, I didn't find them. They were sourced. You put them on and you're like, oh, new clothes. I like these. These are nice.

And are those the ones you do the lawns in? Yeah, look. Are you kidding me? I've got stains on them. Those are your good jeans. But then why have good jeans? There's another. That's a chocolate stain. Because then at least you've got one on them. Those are your good genes. But then why have good genes? There's another. That's a chocolate stain.

Because then at least you've got one pair of pants that don't have stains on them. That'll come out, though. Should do. Oh, no, I don't know. That's Sriracha stuff. Sriracha loves staining. It's a very... All right.

It's a full of colour pepper. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. The Top Six reasons Hamiltonughan Smith. Hello and welcome to today's Top 6. The Top 6 reasons Hamilton would make a great capital city. We've heard the reasoning of it being resilient in an earthquake.

It's inland. Another city that's inland, Palmerston North, but pfft. Come on. Get real. Well, you're from Hamilton. I can see why you'd be so. Get real. Right. Get real. The top six reasons Hamilton would make

a great capital city. All of these practical reasons aside. Yeah. Number six. It's got a fast-flowing deep mysterious river. So when your political opponents step out of line, they go in the river. The Huntley's problem now. That's where they'll end up.

Does it flow that way? Yep. Oh, it doesn't flow the other way. Why can't it? The other way would mean it flowed back into Lake. Oh, yeah. Tupo. No, but I'm just saying when you're in the city, it goes that way, but then does it loop back around?

Oh, it's a wiggly one. Oh, yeah, because, okay, right. It's a wiggly river. Rivers don't tend to be straight. Yeah. They wiggle around. Okay. Wiggle around through Nauruahua here, there. Comes out at Port Waikato. It's a wiggly river. Rivers don't tend to be straight. Yeah. They wiggle around. Okay. Wiggle around through Nauruahua here there.

Comes out at Port Waikato. It's a beautiful river. Yeah. It's very brown. Oh, by the time it gets to Hamilton, it's a little brown. Yeah. Okay. Number five on the list of the top six reasons Hamilton would make a great capital city.

It's close to Nauruahua here, which is a great place to do bombs off the train bridge. And best bomb is the new party leader whenever there's a discussion on who's going to be the next political leader of a party. Oh, yeah. And I think we'd find Gerry Brownlee would be the leader of the National Party in no time. Mind you, watch downstream.

You have to get up on the bridge, though, don't you? Cheeky from you. No, it's at road level. He could get out of the car and waddle down and then... I was just meaning like get a leg up there. We'll build a platform for him. If you're a real daring sumbitch, you go up onto the top, but you can't just jump off

from the top. Right. Although we're not recommending that. No, God no, no, no. It's actually illegal. But you know, I'm just saying they'd stop the trains for this political process. It's probably had a bit more pizzazz to selecting a party leader. Number four on the list of the top six reasons Hamilton would make a great capital city. Cows.

Because cows mean milk and milk means strong bones. And what do you want to build a government on? Strong bones. Okay. It means a strong skeleton. Yeah. But if you're lactose intolerant, it means farts. And they're also pretty funny.

I'd like to see some more farts on Parliament TV. Okay. They'd blame the leather chairs when they stand up to debate. They would, yeah. Excuse me, Speaker. That was my chair! But you're still standing. Yeah, it was my shoe.

Number three on the list. This just seems really basic, but it just needs to be said. And the reasons Hamilton would make a great capital city, the internet. We've got it. Okay. Number two on the list. Oh, okay.

Everyone's got it, though. Do they, though? Well, Palmerston North's got it, and they could be the capital, the new capital. Get real. Number two on the list of the reasons Hamilton would make a great capital city, it's in the middle of everywhere. That's what you say when you're from Hamilton.

Right. Like Raglan over there, Coromandel just up there, the Mount just over there, the Skeefields just down there. Yep. Auckland just up there. You can tell I'm well-versed in being from Hamilton and telling everybody it's in the middle of everything. And the number one reason Hamilton will make a great capital city, I've actually written a poem.

Oh, here we go. This will be good. The name, Hamilton. H is for Hamilton. A is for awesome city. That's what you are. M is for Maori royalty. We're just next door to Turangawaewae Marae.

Yeah. I is for ice. That We're just next door to Turangawaewae Marae. Yeah. I is for ice. That's another name for meth. There's heaps there. And while you're always hearing the bad stuff about meth, it'll sure keep those politicians going. Number L. L is for loose.

A great city to get loose in. It can keep a secret. T is for... T is for loose. A great city to get loose in. It can keep a secret. T is for... T is for... T is for tons to do. Man, I don't know if you guys know, but it's in the middle of everywhere. Yeah, we've heard.

O is for Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots. N is for... No, no, what's the difference? N is for now the list is over. I think I've done a very convincing job here. And that's today's top six. The British.

A study's been done into how much time the British are spending on social media. You would say this would be pretty similar. I'd say these stats would be in the Western world. On par. Similar. On par. Similar. On par. So 21 days of the year. Now, this is entire 24-hour days.

This isn't while you're awake. That is actually sad. 21 times 24 equals heaps, basically. So 21 days, nearly an entire month. They need to break it down into like waking hours. We had those apps on our phone. I deleted that. I deleted that as well.

It lasted about a couple of days on my phone. But that was showing you being on your phone about an hour a day. Oh, more than that. More than that. More than that. So you think about that a couple of hours every day, times that by, you know, seven, and then times that by 30

And then by a year Like it's Adding up You wouldn't times the seven by 30 No obviously not You'd times the total That's the week Into a month

I know You'd times the seven by 50 You know what I mean Times seven by 50 That was 21 days was it Yeah So if you did waking hours It would easily be like

A month of your life Oh yeah If you did waking hours A month of the year Yeah Easily That's so bad Easily That is insane hours, it would easily be like a month of your life. Oh, if you did waking hours. A month of the year. Yeah. Easily. That's so bad. Easily. That is insane,

isn't it? Most of it was Facebook. Some of it was Twitter. I've gone right off Twitter. I don't even have the app. I don't even have the app on my phone anymore. It's just negative. It's so negative. It's a bit yuck. I'll jump on if there's breaking news happening somewhere, because it's really good for instant info. But apart from that, it's just quite a cesspool of negativity.

Really? It can be, yes. I'd rather Instagram. It's, you know, pretty pictures. And then all the funny stuff from Twitter just gets screen capped and put on Instagram anyway. Exactly. Or Tumblr.

That's the good stuff. There is a downside to, I mean, an upside to stealing somebody else's content. I don't have to go on Twitter to see the funny stuff. It comes to Instagram. Exactly. It finds me. So 95% of people in the survey said that they use the internet every single day. Who's the other 5%?

Yeah. Oh, they're probably working on a boat or something. And they're unable to. Yeah, or in a high country sheep station and they can't get the internet. 82% of people that took part in this shopped online every day. Now, I don't know if that's a confirmed purchase

or just did some... Every day. Sort of browsing for shopping. Oh, I browse every day. But I wouldn't buy every day. Yeah, 100. I can't believe that's that high. That's my... That's how I, like, chill out. I just, like, scroll through and see't believe that's that high. That's how I chill out.

I just scroll through and see if there's anything I like. See, that goes back to 68% of people say they watch TV shows or films online. See, I do that nearly every day. Me too, but 82% shopped online every day. Yeah, but that would count scrolling, right? That doesn't count buying. Yeah, I just assume it's the act of shopping. You could go shopping in real

life and not purchase anything, but you'd still say you went shopping. Because almost every day I shop online for someone else. You do, you do, yeah. But you're saying you use that as a therapy almost. Yeah. What do you call it? It's cathartic for me, like to just scroll through,

like put stuff in my shopping cart, on my wish list. But then that's bad because then you're going to be tempted more often than not to spend money. No, it's good because I wait for a sale, put it on my wish list, and then when it goes on sale, I'm saving money. But you're still spending money. Even I, a very low-level internet shopper

that buys next to nothing online, know that if you put something in your basket and then you walk away, it's pretty much like haggling in Thailand. Like they come after you. A couple of days later you'll get an ammo and be like, oh hey buddy. You missed something. Here's 10% off. Yeah, you want to buy them a free

shipping? 20% off? No, no. No, no thank you. I kind of want it but not that much. Yeah. But one thing that doesn't mention in the study is gaming online. I'd love to know how much. Oh, Pete, yeah. How many hours would you spend a day doing that?

Well, now that Fortnite, before Fortnite. Before Fortnite I was off, I wasn't. But now when we get home after work, maybe like an hour and a bit. Right. Every day. See, I wouldn't be a big. But then that is low end. Like I know people that just are on there every waking minute.

They don't work. I'd love to know. And I reckon it would be a high percentage. But you think of anything online, internet-related that's gaming. So all your Candy Crush, any app you've got that relies on the internet would be counted as gaming. So you reckon 20 days online would be probably low? I reckon once you start counting everything else in,

it's going to be way more. Every aspect of online. Like, you think about even your dad would add up if he sends one email. That would take him three hours to type. So even dad's adding to the stats. Well, I'm not a huge online shopper, but the other day I did buy some shoes online. And I want to talk about this next. Did you stuff it up?

Megan's insulted that you're not consulting. You didn't even consult me. You didn't tell me. Always ask if I can find it cheaper. I just found them and I bought them. That was a real spur of the moment thing. She's hurt. Anyway, so I got them delivered yesterday and then, oh my God, I've ruined them.

I need to discuss how I ruined a perfectly brand new pair of shoes next. What are you looking to get rid of them? I'll have them. How ruined are they? I just put a bit of tissue paper in the end of the shoe to make up for the size difference. They're wearable, but I've really screwed them up. We were just talking about online shopping,

and I said I very rarely buy online. I want it straight away, so I go to... I do buy a lot online, but mostly I go to stores because I can't be bothered waiting. I'm so impatient. That surprises me because you have to deal with people to go to stores. Oh no, but I'm in and out. I know what I want.

I'm like, I have to go to stores because I leave everything to the last minute. That too. So anyway, so I found these shoes that I really wanted in a store, but they only had black. So I was like, oh, I'm going to find those same ones online that are white. Okay. Okay. So I'm like, sweet. I'm going to find those same ones online that are white. Okay. Okay. So I'm like, sweet. I'm so upset you didn't consult me, but anyway.

Well, I didn't even think about it, to be honest. I was like, well, I like, they were really hard to find. So I was like, I'll get these ones. And they got delivered yesterday. So I took them home. Yeah. I got them delivered here to work, took them home. And ages ago when I was buying shoes, you know, they got me with a cheeky upsell with that spray you put on your shoes. Oh, Scotchgard. Nah, it's not that

brand, but it's like that. But it's like that stuff. But I actually do like that stuff because it stops your shoes getting stained. What kind of shoes did you get? So they're white ones. They're like a suede. No, they're just new balance, but they're white ones. So they're all white.

So I was like, well, before I wear these, I've got to put the protective spray on. Okay. Because you've got to be pretty careful. Go on. So I was like, well,

where am I going to do this in the apartment? Oh yeah, because I do it outside. Yeah, well, I can't just nip out onto the front lawn

because I'm in an apartment. So I was like, well, I'll put a plastic bag down on the carpet in the middle because I didn't want to be near, I don't know.

Why wouldn't you do it under the tiles? No, because I didn't want the tiles to end up slippery and middle. Because I didn't want to be near. Why wouldn't you do it under the tiles? Why wouldn't you do it under. No, because I didn't want the tiles to end up slippery and residue. So I was like. And so I got a big, like a shopping plastic bag. A New World plastic bag. Yeah.

And I put it down on the carpet. I was like, this is enough. I'll put the shoe in the middle. Spray it. Yeah. And this will be fine. This will be work. So anyway, so I'm spraying away the shoe

and I turn it over and I'm like, oh my God, they have sent me a soiled pair of shoes. Like there's marks on these shoes. Unbelievable. On the sole of the shoe?

On the side, on the logo and I'm like, with my finger, I like wet it, my thumb and I'm like, and I'm like,

it's not coming out. That's like, and then I looked down at the plastic bag and the spray had melted the New World logo. And stuck it on. And stuck it on my white shoes. I knew. What is in the spray? I don't know.

And I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like, get off, get off, get off. And I'm like trying to like scrape it off. I use that, you know, that magic eraser that you use on the walls? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That little magic sponge. That didn't even get it off. Exit mold will get it off.

Jesus, that'll melt the shoe though, let alone the plastic bag. Because the thing is, it's ink. I basically brought the ink back from life, back to life with the spray. Reanimated it. And reanimated the ink and And printed the New World logo. So I've now got New Balance New World shoes. A limited edition. New World Balance. Yeah, New World Balance shoes. You can't

make out the logo. And I did get like, I tried to get some of it off, but now they just look like dirty. Which was the, defeats the purpose of the spray, which was to stop the shoes getting dirty. Oh, heartbreak. I'm not being sarcastic. What, um. I know. So they're white shoes. Yeah. Oh, heartbreak. I'm not being sarcastic. What? I know.

So they're white shoes. Yeah. What are you going to wear these with? What do you mean? Just with jeans. With like light blue jeans or jeans. With any kind of pants. Like Jerry Seinfeld.

This is just fashion now. White shoes and blue jeans. No, no. I thought those were jeans. I thought that was dad jeans. I thought that was a dad thing. I guess you'd call them lifestyle sneakers, not like sports shoes. They'd go well with your jeans now.

Not rummers, like lifestyle shoes. Right. Can you explain fashion to Yvonne, please, Megan? I don't know. I don't think I'm a New Balance sort of guy. What are you? Well, what are you wearing at the moment? I'm just wearing some boots.

Yeah, okay. Ah, dirty. I mowed the lawns in them. You mowed the lawns in your leather boots? Sometimes I just get, I'm like, oh, I mowed the lawns, and I'm already outside, so I can't be bothered getting changed, and then I just, that's how my jeans are seen. You mowed the lawns in your nice leather boots and your new jeans.

Yep. What, did they just end up mowing? You wouldn't be able to handle white shoes, actually. I don't think. I don't know if I could. Yeah. So what are you going to do? What do you want to buy white shoes, actually. I don't know if I could. Yeah. So what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? You want to buy my shoes off me now? How bad is it? You got a photo? I don't have a photo, but it's pretty bad. Well, like, how much did you pay for these shoes? Let's not talk about it. Oh, it was a bit worth it. Well, they're shoes, aren't they?

They're not like $2. That's how much I'll give you. No. Okay. Right. Back to Okay. Right. Back to the bargaining table. Should I wear them tonight? What's happening tonight?

We've got our fact of the day pub quiz. Do you even work here? Oh! Yeah. Does it? Thursday. Interesting. And you made plans tonight because you've got to work, mate.

I thought it was Friday. Well, it's not. Huh. The mystery continues. Well, I'll try to clean them up and I'll wear them tonight. Okay, yeah. And I'll let was Friday. Well, it's not. Huh. The mystery continues. I'll try to clean them up and I'll wear them tonight. I'll wear them tonight. You can let me know. If I buy them off you, you're going to walk home in bare feet.

Sure. It's only five degrees. No problem. Sounds like a good idea. FEM. Here's just another thing that Vaughn is going to bitch and moan about. Something happy has happened in Christchurch and wait for Vaughan to have a grizzle about it.

Go on. Because the Hub Hornby, which is a shopping centre in Christchurch, they are going to open their doors. They have already two pets. So you can take your pets shopping from 6pm to 9pm last Thursday. Oh, late night. Oh, it's so much worse. The manager of the hub, Hornby, said that it was very successful.

So they're going to do it again. But are they just allowed to wander around the stores? We have to have it on a lead. Yeah, but if I'm not allowed my longest drink in town, Jaffa milkshake and glasses. Oh, yeah, right. I'm an adult. No food or drink in stores, but I can.

Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if dogs can. I don't know if they can actually go on stores. Maybe you have to. Then what, you have your dog parking outside stores and then you've got a sort of a get together of dogs that don't know each other. That could just turn into a brawl. And then they go each other. But in terms of wheeze, they said there was a few moments where some wee accidents happened,

but they do have a dedicated cleaner on standby for accidents. I'm sure they're stoked to be... I mean, they've got enough to clean up after humans, let alone chucking another species in the mix. Well, you can pick up your own doggy food. What kind of leads do the dogs have to be on? Just a lead. Not one of those long-run retractable ones?

I've got one of those. What's wrong with that? Awful. Keep your dog close to you. I don't want it coming up to me. I don't want you to have to say, no, no, no, they're friendly. They're friendly. If you're saying it, it's not true. I don't want your dog to come up to me. I don't.

Otherwise, I'd come and pet it. I will approach cute-looking dogs. Like if I see a husky or an Alaskan marmalade, try to keep me away. I'll come up and I'll pat and I'll be like, look at you, you're out of your environment, you little fella. But there's some dogs I don't want it coming to me, I will approach it. But see, you're alright

with dogs in general, but some people are actually freaked out by dogs. Oh yeah. Well that's their problem. Get over it. But you were saying this is like a late night thing one night. Yeah. And it would be, I mean if you don't like dogs, you probably wouldn't go to this. It'd be a great park up animal control at the door and everyone that tries to bring an unregistered dog, ping them with a ticket. Maybe that's...

It's a trap. Do you think it's a trap? In the words of Akbar, it's a trap. Maybe. F.E.M.S. Yesterday after the show, we're having a bit of a chat, bit of a hang. And Shade called, and I classically answered the phone as I always do.

G'day, mate. And then referred to her as mate multiple times. It's weird. Even for us, it's still weird to hear you call her mate because that's not like something husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend call. We call each other mate, pal. I brought a thing up the other day. She messaged me, and she called me pal.

And people were like, ooh, you're in trouble. I'm like, no, that's a genuine term of affection between the two of us. To be fair, when you answer the phone and you say hey, mate, to her, it's a little bit like, hey, mate. Hey, mate. Like a little sweeter. You wouldn't say it like a fletch called her by, g'day, mate. But when it's shout out, I'm like, g'day, mate.

It's a cuter mate. Sometimes he says that to me, too. And when I answer the phone and it's my salmon burly guy. Oh, g'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. Are you also a bit of salmon burly? You also call her Sharts. Sharts.

Is another nickname you've got for her. Yeah, that started, she hated it, but she's grown used to it. She quite likes it now. But still, when we meet new people and they call her sharts, they're like, you can't call your wife sharts. But Producer James, this is what got us talking about Producer James after the show yesterday. Little nicknames that we have.

And then Megan, what's you and Toowoa? You're Strawberry and he's Chocolate. I'm Strawberry, he's Chocolate. Oh, let me just get this plastic bag to vomit in. Go, read them all off. She told me it was strawberry, and I started, like, saying, you're not a strawberry. No, it's because apparently I have a strawberry-shaped head.

Like a Reese Witherspoon chin. I have a bigger, big chin. That's it, right? That's not a compliment. So what are you called? When she looks exalted, like puffed at the gym, she's red, she looks like a strawberry. And he's chocolate,

because he's, like, much darker than anyone else in his family. She's like, little chocolate. gym. She's red. She looks like a strawberry. And he's chocolate because he's like much darker than anyone else in his family. She's like little chocolate. So your strawberry has chocolate. Yeah. How cute is that? And what, tell everyone the other

nicknames you've got for each other. Oh, there's heaps. He's like swirly or... No, I don't want to because you're going to roll your eyes at all of them. No, we'll be serious.

No. Come on, just a couple more. I don't want to. Come on, a couple more. We're not going any further until you tell us a couple more. Sausage. Come on, Saucy Wossy. Saucy, who's Saucy?

Are you Saucy or is he Saucy? No, that's not gross. It's not gross. That's not gross. Where did that one come from? I don't know. What else does he call you, though? Miggy Booze. I'm trying to think.

Yeah, okay. But lots of people call me Miggy Booze. I've never heard anyone call you Miggy Booze. You've given yourself that name. No, Ellie calls me Miggy Booze. I have lots of friends that you don't know. I know you don't. Just quiet, Ellie.

We got talking to James, the producer. Now, how long have you been with your girlfriend? Be coming up five or six years this year, maybe. That's a long time. That's a long time. Quite important to know that, though. And you don't have a nickname for each other. No.

And you never have. No, I've never been a nickname person You know, forever And I've just always called her Chanel And I think Which is her name But she knows that So she knows it'll get to me

If she does start calling me some sort of pet name But what about Shani? So you address each other as Chanel and James All the time. Hello, Chanel. Yes, hello, James. How was your day? Great, thanks, Chanel.

I don't just say that. If I'm talking to someone else about it, then I'll be like, it's Chanel. But I'll just say hi or, like, sometimes I'll say, hey, mate. But I call everyone mate. Do you? So you're not even babe? Nah. I don't think that's going to happen.

I think one time I thought I heard her say, call me babe, and I just stopped on my tracks as like, what? What did you call me? I was just like shaken. I was like, what the hell? Yeah. But yeah, I've never, I've just never really been like a sort of pet name sort of person.

Maybe when I was at school, I might've called girls pet names, but you say anything to girls to get a look in. Yeah, you do. You do things in your recruit, don't you? But I just can't believe she doesn't call you

like Jamesy Wamesy or... But like, we call you... I call you Jimmy all the time. Does she call you like anything like that? That's fine. No, because... Jimmy?

That's fine. I've always been called Jimmy by heaps of people and she just sort of found it a bit weird. It made it sort of seem like we were like... Very informal.

Yeah. We were like friends sort of thing. Like Jimmy sort of thing. So what if she rang you on the way home to get something? She was going to go to sort of seem like we were like friends sort of thing, like Jimmy sort of thing. So what if she rang you on the way home to get something? She was going to go to the supermarket, for example. Yeah.

How would you answer the phone and how would she start? Oh, I'd pick up the phone and go, hey, how's it going? He does. That's what he does. That's what he does when he answers the phone. What if she brought you like a cute note? Like how does she sign off like cards or notes? First of all, I don't think she'd ever write me a note.

Oh, okay. But she'd probably just write something and I'd know it was her because she'd be the only one that would write me a note. I don't know. Like, yeah, I've just never thought about it. I know she does have like little like digs. Maybe she might want a pet name or something, but I just, I can't do it. It just makes me squirm.

This is what we wanted to talk about this morning. Is there anybody listening that doesn't have, like James, the producer, that doesn't have a nickname? Because we could give you one. Like a little romantic relationship nickname. If you don't have one, let us be of service to you now and decide upon your name after some basic questions what your cute little nickname could be.

I feel like this is quite a minority that you're in, James. Or do you think it's a Kiwi thing? A Kiwi bloke thing? Yeah, no, I... Even blokes, surely, like, have pet names. Oh, behind closed doors? Yeah, they're like, he's pretty. Maybe a Kiwi bloke thing.

But I don't mind, like, showing affection or anything or telling her that I love her or anything, but I just don't do nicknames. I just can't do that. I don't think my dad would have ever had a nickname for my mum. And if they did, you wouldn't want to know, would you? What about your parents, Megan? Nah.

Raewyn? No, she just gets full name. Raewyn! Down the corridor. Christine. Yeah, I get Christine. That's you. That, she just gets full name. Raewyn. Down the corridor. Christine. Yeah, I get Christine. That's you. That's my dad's always yelling out.

She's like, Anne. Anne. 0800 dials at M. You can text 9696. Tell us who you're in a relationship with. If you don't have a cute little nickname, we'll just give you nicknames. Yeah. We'll take it upon ourselves.

The nickname less. That's really sad. I know. That's why we're going to make it like cute and romantic and then you can use that in notes and stuff. And I'm really good at this cute romantic stuff. So this is going to be great. Well, no, you say you're not, but I've seen it.

You've been known to write notes. Let's spoo spoo. Treasure hunts. Do not, do not help me. We know. When he wants it, when he wants it, he'll go to extreme measures. We're trying to help you out. If you're in a relationship and you don't have cute nicknames for each other,

let us try to bridge the gap and give you guys nicknames within your relationship. Alex, good morning. Hello, how are you? Good. Now, how long have you been with your boyfriend for? About five years. Ooh, this is a long time to have been with someone without nicknames. Yes.

Same as James. Five years, no nicknames. Formal first names only. So does he go anywhere close to calling you a nickname? It's mate. So g'day, mate. Oh, I really hate that. And just recently, I'd suggested we try something else.

So he started calling me Oos. Although, he's a Christchurch male. Yeah, yeah. Unless you're praying for the Vodafone Warriors, you probably shouldn't be calling people Oos. No. Okay, so we need to come up with a nickname for you that he can call you.

Yeah. What about, let me start, Buttercup? That's pretty cute, but it's not. Maybe not. Okay. It's a big leap. What about Lil Lexi? That's cute.

It sounds like an LOL girl, though. I have been trying Pop It, but it makes me feel a bit weird because mum calls me that. Oh, yes. You don't want it to be something just for you, really, don't you? You don't want to have to. What about Button? That's cute. I also feel like it's to have to... Button. That's true. It's hard with female nicknames too,

because then you don't want to sound like something a dirty old man would say, like sweet cheeks, g'day sweet cheeks. Sweet hearts, but gross. Do you have like a munchkin? No, because that's kind of like... That's like you'd call a kid, I think. Yeah. Do you have any like favourite animals? Not really. Like a munchkin? No, because that's kind of like... That's like you'd call a kid, I think. Yeah. Right, okay.

Do you have any, like, favourite animals? Not really. Because if you like... Maybe a little Lexi could work. Little Lexi. Or just... What about Slexi? Or if you like...

Maybe it sounds a bit sleazy. Like if you liked an animal, like if you liked pandas, you could be like a little pandy. Totally. Or something. Or a bunny or something. Yeah, bunny, honey bunny. And then you take it away from the Totally. Or something. Or bunny or something. Yeah, bunny, honey bunny.

And then you take it away from the, yeah, yeah, yeah. You start with rabbit, wabbit, and then that's like wabby, and then your name's like wabby. Wabby. It's totally, the nicknames has got to be an evolution. It does, yeah, yeah. You don't just stick with what you feel. You've got to roll, evolve. So maybe we, I like wabby.

Wabby's pretty cute. And maybe we need to try them out once a week. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Break it in. Maybe just write the list down for him. And say, I want you to try these five throughout the week, and I want you to tell me what feels the most natural, and I, in turn, will tell you what feels good.

But I tell you what's not on the list, oos. No longer on this list. No longer on the list. Oos. No, I can't see it anywhere. Hey, thanks, Alex. Somebody said, I call my husband Hippo after a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. He's always snacking.

He's pretty skinny. He calls me Porkchop. Yeah, no, see, that's one of the ones I'd probably avoid. But that's another thing. You can name a nickname of something you've experienced together. That's happened, yeah. Or, like, I thought that Hungry Hungry Hippos was going to be, like, because they had an argument, their first argument was about a game of Hungry Hippos.

It's highly likely. So look to your first argument, make light out of that situation. That's a great one. And then always bring it up. Yeah. My boyfriend's name is Jason, and I only ever called him Jason. One time I accidentally called him Jace, and the whole situation changed. That's weird, though. time I accidentally called him Jase and it the whole situation changed.

That's weird though, like you can't call him Jase because that's kind of what their mates call them. You know like with Andrew I don't call him Andy. G'day Andy. G'day Jase, how are you bud? It's weird. Somebody said if anybody has an alternative, my partner, all I call him at the moment is S-H-I-T

head. That doesn't sound healthy, does it? I don't think you need to worry about a pet name. If you want to go down the same track, call him poopy head. Yeah, a bit more cuter, isn't it? Way cuter. Hey, poopy head. But I feel like the way it's being delivered, that other word, they're probably not in the mood to...

Well, shishy face. Shishy head. Like, just cuting it up. Instantly cuting that up. We've instantly cuting that up. Yeah, yeah, she-she head. You're welcome. You are welcome. Yeah. You're welcome.

I'm answering some text messages too, helping to get some people in some terrible situations having to address their partners as Bruce and such. Somebody said, I try to get my fiance to give me a cute nickname, but he just keeps referring to me as Rebecca. So that's a long... That's a Bexie or...

You could be Bebe. Bebe, Arby. Yeah. All of those are pretty cute. Yeah. Eka. Make the effort. Eka.

I mean, that's just a starting point. Eka, eka, eka. Brr, eka, eka. Like, that's even cuter, and that's just a noise. How do you know if it's really Rihanna? How do you know if it's really her? Oh, Rihanna's a hard one. We're going to need to speed up that middle syllable there, guys.

A lot of syllables. Good morning, Rihanna. Good morning. Good morning. Now, welcome to How Do You Know? Now, for those that are new to How Do You Know or have never heard this segment before, we want to see right now if you listening know Rihanna

or if anybody listening knows her. Are we saying it the right way? It's not Rihanna or... No, you're saying it the right way. Rihanna. Okay. Were you devastated when Rihanna became a thing and you felt like she was taking your name?

Yeah, but then it made it easier for people to spell it. Oh, right. That's a very good point. Yeah, good call. It's very good. Because you were probably more named after

the Fleetwood Mac song, I'd imagine. It was actually a book that Mum read. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Well, the way this competition works,

we're going to ask you some random questions, Rihanna, some basic questions, and then if you're listening and you think you know Rihanna, you call us on 0800-DIALS-IT-ihanna, some basic questions. And then if you're listening and you think you know Rihanna, you call us on 0800DIALS.M immediately, please. Yep. I mean, first off the bat, Rihanna, the name.

There can't be that many Rihannas. Now, what part of the country do you live in and how old are you? I currently live in Greymouth and I'm 26. Greymouth? Do we even broadcast in Greymouth? We broadcast on that side of the Alps. How are you listening? No, I listen to iHeartRadio. Grey mouth? Do we even broadcast a grey mouth? We don't even broadcast on that side of the Alps. How are you listening?

No, I listen to iHeartRadio. I mean, this is a great plug for the company's online streaming service, but... Okay, right. So, how old are you? I'm 26.

Have you ever lived out of grey mouth? Yeah, so I just moved back from London two months ago. Oh, God. This is hard. I've been of a big piece of cake here. This is hard. Greymouth, you moved to London and then you moved back to Greymouth?

No, before London, I lived in Christchurch. Okay. So what school did you go to in Christchurch? This is important. I didn't go to school in Christchurch. I went to school in Nelson. Oh, girl. Okay.

We have zero listeners apart from Megan's family. But this is good. We like a challenger in the shop. What school did you go to in Nelson? I went to Guerin. Okay. Don't judge me, Megan. Okay.

I love how people judge each other's schools. They did go to Guerin, didn't they? Yeah. Okay. All right. So you went to school in Nelson. Where else have you lived in New Zealand? A lot of places. I'm didn't they? Yeah. Okay. All right. So you went to school in Nelson. Where else have you lived in New Zealand? A lot of places.

I'm a dairy farmer's daughter. Okay. Okay. So when you were in Christchurch, what was your situation there? What were you doing? I was at Teachers College. Okay. So you went to Teachers College.

Oh, my God. You've been around. Okay. Yeah. And is that what you're doing in Greymouth now? You're a teacher? Yeah, I'm a teacher. I'm still waiting for the kids to arrive. Okay. What. And is that what you're doing in Greymouth now? You're a teacher? Yeah, I'm a teacher. I'm just getting it to school, waiting for the kids to arrive.

Okay. What did you do in London? Sorry, I'm just interested now. I was teaching in London and just travelling. Okay. Is Dad still dairy farming? At the moment, they're just grazing other people's cows. Okay.

And Dad's driving. That's just me from a dairy farmer's point of view. I'm just interested in that. Have we asked enough questions? Do you play any sports? Not anymore. I used to at asked enough questions? Do you play any sports? Not anymore. I used to at high school. What did you play?

Netball and basketball. Okay. Classic Nelson. This is going to be hard. This is going to be a hard one, I think. Because you've lived in some remote places where we don't broadcast to. Nelson. Yeah, previously.

I'm thinking Westport and London. Okay. Okay. Let's do it. Let's see who's on the phone. Let's see. And I'm thinking Westport and London. Okay. Okay, come on. Let's do it. Let's see who's on the phone. Let's see. All right, good morning, Nina. How are you?

Good, how are you? Good. How do you know Nina? Sorry, Rihanna. I know her brother really well, and I've met Rihanna like quite a few times. Hi, Nina. Hi, Rihanna.

So you can... That's a great mouth. So how do you know her brother? What circles do you move in? We've just been friends for years, so heaps of mutual friends and just quite close friends ourselves. So, Rihanna, you know Nina?

Yes, I know Nina. Holy crap! As soon as she said, I was like, I got it. You got it. Wow! We did it! That's how you know that it's really Rihanna.

That's how you know that it's really her. It's hard to do that. I didn't expect the first one out of the pages to be that quick or correct. Carla, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Now, good. You think you know Rihanna.

Yes. Rihanna is my cousin. Oh, hi, Carla. Hi, good morning. How are you? Now, good, you think you know Rihanna? Yes. Rihanna is my cousin. Oh, hi, Carla. Hi, good morning. I'm just taking the kids to school, and we pulled over, and we're like, it's Rihanna. So we're sitting in Ladies Mile, whizzing, has a whizzing pass, and we're like, it's Rihanna. So wait, what part of the country are you, Carla? We're in Queenstown.

Okay. Pleasant surprise. We doubt it. Riri. Everybody knows Riri. Really? Is she a knowable character for reasons we won't go into here? Well, I guess we get to sing the song then, don't we?

That's how you know that it's really Rihanna. That's how you know that it's really her. Good morning, Naomi. How are you? Morning, guys. I'm good. How are you? Pause.

Morning, Rih. Morning. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Rihanna, do you know already who Naomi is? Yes. Who is she?

How do you know her? We went to teacher's college together. We're really good friends. I even see her wedding. Oh! This is so cute. What a special bond. When was the last time you saw each other at the wedding?

Oh, ages ago. I went in Wellington when I came back to get my visa last year. Are you overdue for a catch-up? Yeah. Well, let's get it

locked in now then. When are we catching up? What are we doing? I mean, I don't really want to go to Palmerston North just yet. What? I mean, that's rich.

That's rich. You're in grey now. Don't come in here. Well. Oh, cute. Sing the song. Keep an eye out for Grab a Seat flights between the two places. We did come in here. Well. Oh, cute. Sing the song. Keep an eye out for Grab a Seat flights

between the two places. We did it. We did it. Yeah. That's how you know that it's really Rihanna. That's how you know that it's really her.

Very hard to sing that song with the Rihanna. Multiple syllables. Yeah, it's a tricky name. I love that she went to school in Nelson and like lived in Nelson. No one from Nelson.

I told you. Because your dad doesn't know. He's the only one listening in Nelson. It's a real issue, Megan. The reason you're on the show is to bring in the Nelson listeners and you're not doing... Who can talk, you Plymouth? I'm the only one with any sort of hometown backing here.

Thanks again to the beautiful people of the Wakti. They've got no taste. Thanks again to the beautiful people of the Waka. They've got no taste. Rihanna. They're listening. Don't sass them. Sorry. Rihanna, thanks for playing along.

I thought we'd really bitten off more than we could chew there. Wonderful, wonderful. We did it, we did it. The girl from Greymouth in London and Nelson and Greymouth again. Congratulations. That's a good thing. Thanks for playing. Thank you, have a good day.

Tomorrow, the Long Weekend Group 2 at 8 o'clock And the hour leading up In the lead up We're going to do Every 10 minutes Free fuel Ahead of the long weekend As well

Good on us Hey Hey Hey Hey what's that That's just Vaughn Patting himself on the back On behalf of you all

You're welcome I want to talk about this Because a mate of mine Is overseas at the moment And he messaged our group chat and patting himself on the back. On behalf of you all. Sure. You're welcome. I want to talk about this because a mate of mine is overseas at the moment and he messaged our group chat asking this question and I didn't have an answer for him and I couldn't be bothered Googling. But I thought it would be an interesting discussion. Right.

You know, you're overseas a lot, Fletch. Megan, you've travelled. Yeah. On the show, people have travelled around. New Zealanders are very nomadic. We love to travel. Don't we? We heard from one who'd been to bloody London.

And he's overseas and he said, does anybody know if there's any difference at all when you're paying with something overseas on a credit card and it says, do you want to pay in, and it says the local currency or New Zealand dollars? That is a great question because I always go New Zealand dollars because I feel like they're trying to stiff you. Like it's

not a scam, but I feel like they're adding on a little bit. See, I always go the other way. I always go local because I feel like they're going to try to scam you in the, somehow the transaction, not scam, but add on a fee somewhere in the back to New Zealand. Everyone's trying to take a little bit of cash somewhere, aren't they? But I don't know.

I don't know the difference. I just go eeny meeny. I'm like, what do I feel like today? That one. Sometimes if you want to make yourself feel better about spending money, you just go for the one that's the lower number. Yeah. You're like, I'll go with this one. But the thing is, when you're using a credit card overseas, you're already paying one or two percent

on your purchase. Are you? And then I just thought that they'd just instantly convert it anyway. So just pay in New Zealand. I feel like they're trying to stick you. So that's right, though, because if you look at the screen and you look at the price tag, if they match up, then they can't be changing the price. Can someone call or text?

Maybe someone that works in the bank industry? Because does it happen here? Does it happen in New Zealand? If people are foreign, tourists, for example, come here with a foreign credit card, and they go to put the chip in, does it give them the option of paying in New Zealand dollars or foreign? It will do.

Maybe that's because I've got a New Zealand credit card. But not every EFTPOS machine has that option when I've been overseas. Sometimes they just put it through. Yeah, so what's the advantage of it? I reckon someone is making money out of it. That's why I'm always like paying New Zealand dollars. Right. But yeah, it's a good question

because I've always wondered because if it's whatever way is cheaper, I'll do. But you're convinced that one way is cheaper. They might just both be the same. We're getting text messages in on it. Okay, this is good. But text messages that don't agree.

That's the thing. I want to hear from someone that works. I don't know if I want an opinion. I just want to know 100%. Isabella, good morning. Good morning. Now, you've just recently been to America. Someone told you about this.

What was their take on it? I heard that you choose to pay in the local currency because otherwise they charge you the exchange rates to change it back to New Zealand and then back to the local currency. No, but that wouldn't make sense because you're using your New Zealand credit card, so they're going to exchange it anyway, aren't they?

Or are you saying the other way? Oh, see, that's like someone's making money. I'm confused. I'm confused about that. Somebody said... Thanks, Isabella. Somebody said, always pay in New Zealand dollars. It works out cheaper.

Not only do I work at a bank, I'm also an Indian, and we know how to save money. They said it. Their in New Zealand dollars. It works out cheaper. Not only do I work at a bank, I'm also an Indian, and we know how to save money. Their words, their words. Bianca, you work at a bank. What's the right answer for this? It really depends on what card you use. So if you've got a travel card and you've loaded euros, for example, it makes sense to choose euros because you're just adding more fees

if you choose New Zealand dollars. Right. Right. It makes sense to choose euros because you're just adding more fees if you choose New Zealand dollars. Uh-huh. Right. But if it's not a prepaid card, should you just use local New Zealand dollars? From the bank's perspective, it's better to use the local currency. So you do kind of get charged a bit more. I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew they were trying to get a couple of dollars out of you. Somebody said you can Google the rates, the local currency rates. They're set with MasterCard, a rate calculation. It's 2.5% of the New Zealand dollar value with Westpac when you pay in the local currency overseas. So that's an extra fee. Yeah, but then you're not going to get around that by paying in local.

They're still going to charge you. No, but they're saying when you pay in local. Right. Oh, right, yeah. Oh, I'm confused. Thanks, Bianca. At this stage, I don't feel any the wiser. I don't feel any the wiser.

I tapped out when Bianca was talking. Do you rule? This is very confusing. Hello, how are you? Can you shed some light on this? Do you have a definitive answer? See, mate, I use seven different credit cards internationally when I travel. I just moved here from Australia.

Yeah. No. Seven. Seven cards. Where did you move from? Sorry? From Australia. Australia.

I love how you say Australia. Because we take the piss, we say Australia. But you're so lazy, you've dropped the last one too. Australia. Australia. take the piss, we say Straya, but you're so lazy you've dropped the last one too. Straya. Oh, hey guys, be nice. Be nice. No, it's all good. Australia's a better country anyway.

Shot's fired. Well, you're here. Does it get a bit, is it a bit of a hassle having seven different cards? No, it makes sense because to me, I've got obviously my business credit cards, personal credit cards, and then we use the American Express quite a bit. So when I'm overseas travelling and doing conferences overseas, I'm able to just use my American Express

and they send me a notification at the exchange rate that I'm purchasing product at. So if I'm doing something, say, like in New Zealand, send me the exchange rate for an Australian dollar. Australia's a text message, so I know exactly how much I've spent in Australian dollars. That's so confusing. It's just the whole thing's confusing. So you carry seven, like there's business and stuff, but that only accounts for three.

So the other ones, do you just know in different countries, different credit cards are going to be better? Yeah. Yeah. Because I use Westpac Australia and they give me a better rate when I travel the Middle East. Right.

When I'm in the Middle East, they give me like 0.45% interest and the exchange rate is like 4.2%. This is why I've got a fanny pack with lots of cash. I just chuck it in the old money belt. It's a bum bag. Under the track pants. Under the track pants.

And then you get robbed and you've lost like $800. And, you know, you wouldn't... See, there was this time where I was walking in, where was I, London. And somebody came up to me and tapped me on the side of my pocket. I lost four and a half grand through payways. Oh, my God. You're cutting. Dude.

I was a little bit upset. Oh, bitch, you couldn't wait to get back to Australia. Can you? I was on the phone to the bank straight away and then 48 hours later the money was back into the account. What bank did you call? So I called Westpac. Whereabouts was that based?

In Australia. Australia. You just wanted to say, Gerald, thank you so much for your information. We love you, Gerald. We're just taking a piss. No, we're very happy to have you and your money here. Thank you. Have a lovely day, guys.

You too. Thanks, Gerald. All right. I'm not carrying seven cards. I'm just paying the fee. Yeah, that's the last thing. And I'm none the wiser. I still have no idea. I'm not paying. I don't want to carry seven cards like Gerald. No, I'm not carrying seven cards. I'm just paying the fee. Yeah, that's a lot of money. And I'm none the wiser. I still have no idea.

I'm not paying. I don't want to carry seven cards like Gerald from Australia. But I am. He's panicked me into getting one of those RF blocking wallets. That I always say. Mums and dads love RF money blocking wallets. Don't they? My pay wave's got like an $80 limit on it, but I'm just not being robbed.

The wallet's going to cost me $90, but to save $80, I'd spend $180. All right, fact of the day is next. I don't feel any more clued up on that conversation at all. Just don't check your bank account after you travel. Yeah, live in ignorant bliss. Bank will look after you. God, I tell you what, just before we get to the fact of the day,

behind the scenes, Caitlin is out of control at the moment because last night we went out to Heartbreak Island. This is the new TVNZ show that's starting. June 11th. Yeah, June 11th. This is like Love Island. And Caitlin interviewed all the cast.

Just the boys. We know we just talked to Gerald, the Australian. From Strah. She's like, he sounded so hot. Didn't he sound hot though? and she's now just the boys. We know we just talked to Gerald, the Australian. From Australia. She's like, he sounded so hot. Didn't he sound hot though? Is it just me and Australians? Australians?

I just find the Australians hot. Australians. You should have seen her at this event last night. She was all over. To be fair, they were flirting with me too. You are thirsty.

You've wandered into the desert on a horse with no name and you forgot your canteen. Okay. What's a canteen? Like a little water bottle. That's so lame. Just say water bottle.

What's a canteen? In the desert. It's a canteen. You don't take a water bottle into a desert. You take a canteen. Is that like those ones that the gym bras use? No one calls it a canteen. No, it's a World War II metal canteen.

With metal on it. Yeah. I'd call flitches a canteen. It's a World War II metal canteen. With metal on it. And it's got... I'd call flitches a canteen. But they have like a leather or a fabric around them to stop the sun heating the water. And you wear them on a sort of a... Angled... You can't take a pump...

So it's a thermos. You can't take a pump bottle. Because a thermos is dual-walled and it will keep heat and cool in. Yeah, so that's a thermos that keeps the cold in. No, you don't want to be taking a thermos that's a lot of wasted space in the vacuum between the two that's the thermos that keeps the call in. No, you don't want to be taking a thermos that's a lot of wasted space in the vacuum between the two layers

of a thermos. You just take a straight canteen. It should be just for school canteen where you get the pies. It should be for a drink bottle. The original wording was the World War and World War I. The old mates used to go and canteen. Oh God, Gerald's calling back. Sorry, I've got to go. Oh my God. He is calling

back. Okay. I don't want to talk to him. No, everyone shush. Answer the phone. No, you talk to him. No, answer the phone. We won't hear him, but we'll just hear you.

We'll just hear you. Okay. ZM, hello. Hello. Hi, Gerald. You're wondering when I'm freezing Yes Gerald

Gerald He's a world traveller Can he put dinner on one of his seven credit cards Can you put dinner on one of your seven credit cards Gerald Oh he pays cash Can he put dinner on one of his seven credit cards? Can you put dinner on one of your seven credit cards, Gerald? Oh, he pays cash. We'll give him a nickname because we talked about nicknames before. Tezza.

Jerry Can because it's a positive reinforcement of Jerry Can. Jerry can do it, but also Jerry Can, the fuel equivalent of a canteen. We've got to do Fact of the Day. Okay, now it's a... Fact of the day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. She's still talking. No, we're just going to. How old are you?

You sound like, I'm hoping that you're like 30. Turn off the microphone! I'm hoping... How old is he? How old is he? Oh, you're a lot younger. How old is he? What? Oh, he's not over 25.

Gerald, I can't. I'm sorry. Hey, you have to. We're making you. He's not over 25 and he's an international businessman. How old are you? I need to know how old you are 22

That's fine Babe What are you talking about? Going on a date Caitlin That's not fair Okay if you say Australia then we can go on a date He's only 5 years younger than you

Are you cutting my Okay okay Go on man Do a bit of the day Okay Today's fact of the day It's not going to be as good as this combo No I know We don't really know what's Okay. Today's fact of the day. It's not going to be as good as this con, though. No, I know.

We really don't know what's happening there. Today's fact of the day is about, you know when someone says a word over and over and over and over? Like Australia. Australia. Yeah. But no, maybe like a word like flannel. Flannel.

Flannel. Where's the flannel? That's made of flannel. Flannel. It goes weird. Flannel. And it just loses its meaning and becomes a weird sound? Repeated meaningless sounds.

Yeah. And it even looks weird on paper. Yes. Yeah. There is a psychological term for that. Semantic saturation. Okay. It's where it kind of reverberates around your brain and your brain becomes unable to process

it as originally intended. It becomes semantics. Semantics, Your Honour. It's the only time I've heard that word. I know this! Semantics, Your Honour! So I think it's just unrelated garbage.

So this guy looked into this and he was like, this needs a name. This was in 1962. He was like, this needs a name because it really annoys me when I hear a word over and over and over and over and I need it and it loses all meaning. So I'm going to go about in my dissertation to come up with a term for this.

So after he talked to a bunch of people also in the field, he decided that when you hear a phrase or word over and over and over and over and over and over and it loses all its meaning, semantic saturation is what it will be called. So today's fact of the day is that word you've just heard a thousand times,

like semantic saturation, that's lost all meaning, has a term, it's called semantic saturation. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. All right, 21 to 8, Spy is next. Taylor Swift has fired a backup dancer. I'll tell you why next. And an update in Spy on our very own unfolding scandal. Oh, yes, we'll give you the latest with Caitlin's hot date with Gerald. No, it's Jerry Can.

Jerry Can from Stath. Jerry Can. Jerry Can from Strath. Vaughn, did you just come over here? Vaughn just came and looked at my computer screen. In my defence, I farted before I left my seat. I think there was some residual drag.

This show is falling apart. I'm sorry, it's very hard. Hard for me. Appreciate my working conditions right now. Let's just let your area, your air dissipate. And Vaughan, could you just give us the latest on producer Caitlin with Hot Australian? Yeah, well

we don't actually have apart from judging his personality from a small conversation. Very fast phone conversation. We don't know what he looks like. He had the personality and the voice that really got us all going in the basement.

And... What, a fair call? Everybody was suitably around? Oh, stop. I don't know if James was. If I'm speaking out of turn, please speak up. So what's happening. Producer Caitlin has given 22-year-old Gerard from Strath.

Jerry Can. Jerry Can. I gave him my number because I didn't know what else to do. Jezza. So the ball's in his court, not in your court. Please don't. Gerrymandering. So, okay, so this is great.

We've got to find a location. And then set it up with cameras. We're not doing this. We are. No, we're not doing killer. Shut up. So, okay, so this is great. We've got to find a location. Oh, no. And then set it up with cameras. We're not doing this. We are. No, we're not doing this. We are. We know that this...

Oh, my God. I'm trying to find a husband. Let me do it. Jerry Can could be the man. Don't go... Katie Pie and Jerry Can. If anyone can, Jerry Can. Why are we calling him Jerry Can?

Because it's cute. Because the canteen, you know, what we were talking about before, the steel water bottle. A Jerry Can is a steel petrol container. Well, New Zealand, watch this space because we might have just found New Zealand's hottest couple. Okay. The air has dissipated. Taylor Swift has fired a backup dancer and close friend of hers, Toshi,

after she found a series of posts on his Instagram page. I think it was on his stories. Now, I've seen screenshots. Most of these I can't actually even read to you because they were jokes about sexual assault, women belonging in the kitchen, and other offensive images. So fair enough then.

Yeah, so this was brought to her attention by a fan. She tagged in Taylor Swift and said that Toshi's a dancer from her show. Posted these disgusting memes on his Instagram story. And she hasn't released a statement, she's a dancer from her show, posted these disgusting memes on his Instagram story, and she hasn't released a statement, but he has been fired straight up, outright. She considered him one of her closest friends. He's been on the road with her since 2014, but she can't endorse that, so he's straight up fired.

Fletch, Vaughn, and Megan. The podcast. The Victorian place next door in Stray. Strayer, there you go. That Victorian police next door in Stray. Strayer. There you go. That's how our mate Jerry says it. Have we heard from Jerry? No.

Okay. We'll keep you all updated. The Victorian police are in trouble in Strayer because they have faked over five and a half years to quarter of a million alcohol breath tests. This is roadside random breath testing.

Right. Oh, because they've got quotas. Yes. Oh, right. Yes. So that's like, for example, they clock on for a shift and they're like, all right, tonight, guys, we need to do 400 breath tests.

Correct. And they're like, well, CBF. Yeah, I can't be bothered. Let's set up the stop thing. Yep. And, like, take a few, and then we'll just pack down. And while Steve and Aaron are packing down, Carla, you, me, and Wayno, and Stewie will just start blowing into the machines

because we've not had anything to drink. So they were just doing it themselves. Yeah. Wow. So I was blown away because this accounts for 1.5%. 17.7 million roadside breath tests have been done in the state of Victoria. In five years. In five and a half years.

Wow. So people must be blown into that thing all the time. Yeah. The people that are out. And so this accounted for 1.5%. How the hell have they worked out that 1.5% are fake? Because surely a nil reading is a nil reading. There'd be no further way of...

Well, unless people are admitting to it. They've not released how they know, but the assistant commissioner, Russ, said, I'm absolutely confident to say that this number, 258,000, were falsified. And he said, we've breached public trust. We've got to do a lot to, you know, get back in the community's good books. But then I feel like it's not, I mean, I don't know because I'm lazy and it's probably something I do.

But I feel like it's probably more that they've got other police work to do. No, it wasn't. Wasn't it? No, it was that they were stationed at these breath test things and they had so many to do. So when there was no car there or they had a line of cars and multiple breath tests, one would just literally hide behind the caravan,

blowing into it. Jeez, okay. I'd do that, though, if I was a police officer. Because who's going to know? I'd hate to have any sort of easily fudged targets. Do you know one of my first jobs at the radio station was you had to call people at dinner, so nobody wanted to do it.

And you'd be like, hello, I'm just doing a, we want to know what you think of these songs and what you listen to in these things. And people just tell you to piss off because it's dinner. So you just fill them all out yourself. And go home. Yeah. And the boss's son was working with me.

So I was like, well, he's going to get in trouble if I get in trouble. So we just made them all up. And they're not going to tell on him in front of you because he's got a friend over. Exactly.

And your parents aren't allowed to tell you off in front of your mates. They wait until they go home and then smack you. Never got, or got away with it too. But yeah, it's a bit too easy to do.

You got away with it but that radio station doesn't exist anymore so. Well yeah, they thought they were doing really well. Oh. They're like,

man, we're nailing it. We're nailing it guys. They're playing all the songs they want to hear. Yeah. We're going under. I don't know why.

They're still nailing it. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. Still nailing it.