ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - May 31 2019

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

It's The Long Weekend Group Toot! Friday Flashback and what is the most savage thing your teacher said to you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Oh, boy, have we got a big show for you today. Boy, oh, boy. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Shivers. Crikey, shivers. Have we got a big show for you? Without a doubt, we all look forward to this. The Long Weekend Group Tote returns this morning, New Zealand, at 8 o'clock. Yep.

We want to beat the record, but I'm not going to be like, we're going to do it because you all let me down last one. I'm not setting myself up for failure again. I'll enjoy it regardless of what happens. That's a good attitude. If the nation has fun, do the numbers really matter? Exactly. Yes, they do.

You got a little bit grumpy last long weekend group, didn't you? Oh, it was very frustrating. It was very frustrating. But the nation, I heard from a lot of people who also felt the frustration. Okay, well, your chance to come together and participate in the long weekend group tour if you're in traffic at 8 o'clock this morning.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, deliberate, decide which headline. And we'll get into that headline in that story. Headline one, toxic weight loss. Headline two, serial masturbator busted.

I don't know why I put that in there. It's just, yeah. Is it all in the headline? It's all in the headline. It's hilarious. And now, yeah. Is that the guy that lost his job for playing with himself loudly at work?

Or was that another guy? No, no. That's another guy. Good. Headline three, hair raising surgery. Those are your stories. Hair-raising surgery. Yep.

Or toxic weight loss or the man. Right, toxic weight loss. Or toxic waste. Weight loss. Toxic weight loss. I'm not hearing about that. You want to hear? Okay.

Yeah, me too. Just what? Because you wouldn't mind a magic toxic pill? No, I was just thinking more of Chernobyl. Oh, okay. Yeah, me too. Just what? Because you wouldn't mind a magic toxic pelt? No, I was just thinking more of Chernobyl. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Because a lot of people lost weight after being exposed to uranium-235s. Skin and muscle.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they lost their lives. I didn't lose any when I did the day tour of Chernobyl. You probably weren't close enough. Too many clothes on. Yeah, you'll have little closer next time. All right, we go to Sacramento now, and a man has been caught selling diet pills.

And you might be thinking, well, what's wrong with selling diet pills? Well, these diet pills were actually fertilizer. Oh, good God. And he was sentenced for misbranded drugs and obviously selling fertiliser under the guise of diet pills. So apparently it was toxic fertiliser.

They say that between 2015 and 2017, he and others marketed a drug called DNP for weight loss and fat burning, while officially selling it as fertilizer. It's used as a fertilizer, a pesticide, and for manufacturing, but it's not approved for human consumption because the Food and Drug Administration agency

say it's too toxic. So did anyone actually take it and get sick? Well, I think people did buy it, yeah. But it doesn't follow up with any reports of actually people... I mean, they were selling it for two years. Yeah, that's not... They're probably lucky someone didn't die.

You think back to like... Did it work? Well, again, it doesn't say. Well, it made you very sick, so I probably lost some weight. Well, yeah, and I'm assuming that they're in court, so there were probably complaints about it. Right.

Do you think back, what, was it the 2000s when all those... The Bezos, BZP-based party pills. Yeah. Remuera Housewives were taking horse tranquilizers and dance party pills. Good Lord. Yeah, they were the BZP in them. It was an appetite suppressant, but it was also the main ingredient in those legal highs

until they became illegal highs. Jesus. I mean, they've all probably died of liver failure by now. Yeah. Or had transplants. I mean, the ones that were really humming them, they were really rough on your internal organs. They made you party all day long.

Or you got your vacuuming done quick? Before the cleaner arrived. The cleaner arrived to a clean house. The budget came out yesterday. That says how the money's going to be spent. The government's going to spend money, and really great to see the mental health. I was going to say, yeah.

There's some really good things out of the budget that I haven't looked into it greatly, but I've seen the main points that were made out of it and I think it's some areas that definitely needed looking at. You'll never please everybody though. That's how these things work

because everybody wants everything, but nobody wants to pay more tax to get it. Yeah. There's only so much money, isn't there? Exactly. So one of the big talking points out of the budget

was the cover photo on the budget. When you present the budget. It's a nice booklet. Yeah, it's a lovely booklet now and it's been called the well-being budget. Well, the stock image used on the front of the budget is of a lady and her daughter. Well, it looks to be her daughter. Yeah. But kind of with the briefest of knowledge of how stock imagery works, it might not even be

her daughter. It might have just been a kid that was also at the photo shoot. Yeah. Well, it turns out that that woman is a lady called Vicky Freeman and she, a while ago, did a photo shoot for stock imagery. I would, which, by the way, I would never ever do. Well, that's, I don't know

if you've got any say in what your photo's used for. No, you don't't. Like it could be used for a pamphlet advertising erectile dysfunction. Yeah and it's like look how happy my wife and kid are. That I've got, you know, these pills now. Yeah right. Or that guy that did the photo shoot famously in the white

t-shirt and is used for every kind, you know those websites where you buy your own t-shirts for screen printing? Yeah. He did a photo shoot. We talked about this. He had the white t-shirt.

And he's the photo shoot guy. He's the blank shirt guy. All these like white supremacists and like far right groups making these horrific t-shirts with slogans. And he's like, huh? He's the stock imagery.

Posing with it. Yeah, puts up the photo with your text. And so he ends up modelling all these racist. Inadvertently. Yeah. But it's also like

the old guy who's just like absolute meme fodder. Yeah. Who was smiling with that awkward smile. He just did that and then he became

like meme worthy. Or even that couple that are walking and he's turning and looking at the girl going the other way. They just did a photo shoot with a whole bunch of things.

They were stock imagery. So you can't really control what that's used for. Well, she, as it turns out, Vicky, who's on the front of the budget, left New Zealand because she felt that she

wasn't getting enough work here. She moved to Australia. Auckland was too expensive. So she moved to the Goldie. Oh my, you could not. She works, I was like, what does she do for work?

And she's an actress model. Right, okay. That's what she said. So she moved to the Goldie. I mean, heaps of people moved to the Goldie to try to get their break as Wonder Woman or Aquaman at Movie World. So, you know. There's not a lot of acting work here. It wasn't that awkward.

There's heaps of acting work here. You've just got to be good enough to get the acting work. I don't know. I haven't seen her screen test, so I don't know how good an actor she is. It's not that awkward, though, isn't it? The whole point of the budget is to make things better, and she left because it wasn't good for her at the time. But that's why it's bad for the government, isn't it?

No, but it's going forward we're going to make it better. That's what the budget's for. She can come home now. Yeah. Come home. You don't have to. You couldn't script this better for a She can come home now. Yeah. Come home. You don't have to. You couldn't script this better for a TV show like Veep or Thick of It. The political shows. The political satire.

Yeah. But then, like, the thing about the media set in. Yeah. But the media use inappropriate stock images all the time. Like, they just... We've got access to photo... What are they? Libraries. Stock. Stock images. Yeah. And you just the time. We've got access to photo libraries. Stock images.

And you just literally type in keywords and any keyword, and it will ring up all the sad men and you pick the sad man. And you put him in. And that's how the whole thing works. And because you pay your fee, you can use these photos. That's why it would never be a stock image.

Yeah. But you don't know where you're going to end up. I'd be two things very concerned if you turn it for a photo shoot and it's adult modelling or stock imagery, I'd leave both. Yeah. Yeah. So I know what they do with that adult thing. Mate, take your clothes off.

Is that one of your real concerns in life? Shame on me. Fool me five to six times because I'm desperate for money. Then, yeah, again, shame on me. KFC needs a clap. Why? Because of the double down? They get like a report card every few months.

So they've had their first quarter report. Do you know New Zealand has eaten $80 million worth of KFC in three months? Wait a minute. Is this, this is, it's financial. Pre-tax. Yeah, this is be what we see. I don't know how pre or post or whatever. Don't you?

Good, I mean, you run a business. Please tell me how much to pay. I'm glad that you don't know how pre or post or whatever. Don't you? Good, I mean, you run a business. Please tell me how much to pay. I'm glad that you don't know the difference between pre and post. Please tell me how much to pay. Megan was on her laptop at the airport yesterday doing the tax and you were real grumped. There's so much money.

Megan was like, why do I have to pay these people? Give it away. No, it wasn't the people. It was the inland revenue. Don't say that. I'm happy to pay the people that work very hard. No, it wasn't the people. It was the inland revenue. Don't say that. I'm happy to pay the people that work very hard for me. But not the tax man.

But not the tax man. No, none of us are, Megan. None of us like paying tax. So KFC, they're a part of restaurant brands, and they have done the best out of all the brands. Right. And... Out of all the restaurant brands they've done.

So they're up against Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut. Is that a restaurant brand? Yes. What else is in there? Is Carl's Jr. in there? Yeah, Carl's Jr. and Starbucks as well. Starbucks is in there, yeah.

They're pulled right back in New Zealand though, eh? Yeah. You just don't see them much anymore. There's so many good coffee places. Both Goat and Co. So many good coffee places. Both Go, Beaufort and Co. So many good coffee places. Do you do a Frappuccino, though? Are you even allowed to call them a Frappuccino?

No, we don't do a Frappuccino. Taco Bell's their other one. Oh, I can't see Starbucks on here. Are we getting a Taco Bell? I thought we were. Yeah, I think it's on stage. KFC, Pizza Hut, Carl's Jr., Taco Bell. It'd be great if McDonald's and Burger King could tell us how much they did in the last three months

just so we can have a like countdown. We can do top five burger restaurants. But isn't that nuts that according to where you put your money. Yeah, at KFC alone, people spend $80 million in the first three months. Is that something to be proud of? Does that even include the double down, which has only been out for like a few weeks?

No, it won't. No, it won't. Oh, no, it won't. For three months. Oh, yeah, that's going to be a spike for the next quarter, isn't it? But yeah, I mean, congratulations. They've done very well. 80 million.

80 million. Are you thinking you should have got into fried chicken now? Maybe. I mean, everyone loves fried chicken. Exactly. Maybe not for breakfast, though. Unless you're hungover. Waffles. Oh mean, everyone loves fried chicken. Exactly. Maybe not for breakfast though, unless you're hungover. Waffles.

Oh, that makes it a breakfast food. Yeah, 100%. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Uber in America and Canada have announced that from Wednesday, from this Wednesday, they will ban people who have consistently below average ratings. Okay. So I think there was a rumour of this maybe a few months ago,

and we might have mentioned this, but it's in effect Wednesday. They haven't said if it's coming to New Zealand or to other Uber markets, but at the moment, America and Canada. So if you misbehave repeatedly while getting a ride, you could be booted off the ride-hailing app as well as Uber Eats.

Wait, so you could be misbehaving in Uber, have an otherwise flawless Uber Eats rating. And then producer James can't deliver your tikka masala. Because you were naughty. You're naughty. You were naughty. You're naughty. You jumped out. They don't say and I've gone through a couple of articles they don't say the number. They don't say the Uber rating.

They just say a below average which I'm imagining would be like a three or something. Right. I feel like I could handle the Uber but like banning you from Uber rates is the real punishment. Yeah. It's like you cannot get your numbs delivered anymore.

Because what, is it drivers have to go above it? Is it a four? A 4.2? Otherwise you're... Suspended. Yes. I'm going to try Google. They can't go below that, can they?

This is why we need to be careful and really think about our ratings, you know? You would have to be a real little rat bag, though, because I always just give five. Yeah. And I've got a pretty good rating. I have to feel pretty put out to give less than a five. Mm. Mm. Like, my life is in danger.

Someone who would have to be unnecessarily rude. Yeah. To me. Yeah, I always give a five. Yeah. Like, you know, people are just doing their job, aren't they? But yeah, so I can't see an Uber rating for drivers, but I did think it was like a three or something.

If you go below that, I think they have a word to you. Right. And then if you keep dipping below, I think you just get banned. You'd have to be doing pretty bad to get down as low as a three, I would have thought. Yeah, well, you have to be spewing in an Uber or, you know. Oh, you wouldn't do that. You're tipping your pot plant over.

Imagine that. Spewing in an Uber, who would? How much would that even be if someone spewed in an Uber? Well, how much would it cost? Yeah. I'm imagining $150. That's just a guess. Just a guess.

Purely guesswork. Okay, well, you just picked that from thin air, did you? If you cleaned it out yourself, you wouldn't have to pay that, right? Oh, you'd imagine so. But the act was done. You can kind of see why. Yeah, yeah. Clean your best.

You'd never get it perfect. And do they just take it off straight away, like off your credit card? No, you think you've got away with it, and then you get a secondary notification. Also, I'm told. Right, okay. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. We're going back to the moon, baby. The US and Japan.

I've always wondered why there wasn't more joint efforts for space. Well, because it was the space race back in the day. It was who was first. Yeah. Split the race. Split the glory. Split the race. Split the glory. Split the cost. Split the glory.

Glory. You know what I mean. Yeah. You know what I mean, like share and share alike and stuff. Yeah. Share your toys. Yeah, share your toys. And then maybe your toy can go together with another toy and make a better toy.

Exactly. That's how toys work. So the US and Japan are going to be doing a joint effort to get back to the moon. Yep. Oh, this will be great. This will be a great day. Hopefully there's footage enough to prove the flat earthers that it's not. And also everyone that doesn't believe we went to the moon in the first place.

Well, I think take a flat earther as well. Do your calculations for who you need for crew and spare seat, flat earther. Get Mark Sargent up there. And leave them there. Leave Mark Sargent on the moon until he says, okay, I'll give you that. The earth is not flat.

No, he'll pack a sucker and not come back. Yeah. And then he will come back and he'll say it was all just a trick. I was tricked. I was drugged. So the top six are the US-Japan collaborations that you may have forgotten about

because these countries have worked together before in the past. Number six, the Toyota Prius F-150. It's the convenience of a Prius with a Ford big block V8 in it. So you're like, Uber's here. That might be more of a

The first one sounded too much like a rotary. You're from Hamilton, mate. This is, you're leading. No, the rotary's like Doesn't sound as fuel efficient as a Prius. No, no. Which sounds like this when it takes off. That's why they're the car for drive-by shootings.

They don't hear you coming. No, they'll never get no idea you're coming. Dangerous in their own way. At least you've got to go up a hill to get them. Then the engine will kick in and they'll hear them a little bit more. Number five on the list of the top six other US-Japan collaborations you may have forgotten about. Pokemon with guns. When their natural fighting powers aren't enough,

the Americans gave them guns. Right. Classic America. Yeah. Classic America. Number four on the list of the top six other US-Japan collaborations you may have forgotten about

are Gwen Stefani. Years 2004 to 2006. Yeah. I don't think she'd get away with that now, would she? I was wondering about their... Cultural appropriation? She was using actual Harajuku girls. Harajuku.

She wasn't... What? Harajuku girls. Harajuku girls. Yeah. Jaku. I think we've got a Jaku more than a Juku. Sounds like a potato-potato situation to me, Megan.

So, she was using actual Japanese girls as the Harajuku girls. Now, I think that's how she got away with it. Okay, right. Had she been dressing American, white American girls up as Harajuku girls, I don't think she would have even got away with it at the time. But even now, it'd be interesting to see. Oh, definitely not now. Number three on the list of the top six things

that the US and Japan have collaborated on before, samurai cowboys. Oh, my God. I don't even know if they're a thing, but how good would Samurai Cowboy be? Have I just invented a new film genre? I think that's just like a knight on a horse, isn't it, really? You call a samurai just a knight. Okay.

Apparently, this is a well-established genre. Oh, is it? Really? There was even a movie in 1993 called Samurai Cowboy. Wow, okay. Didn't have anybody you'd know in it. Right. Went straight to it.

Oh, there was some choice drawings. People have done, like, artists of, like, what a samurai cowboy would look like. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, boy. Oh, is it kind of like Zorro? But it was kind of like, yeah, maybe. No, because he was like a conquistador sort of.

But kind of like John Wick 3 when he's on a horse, like fighting those samurai swords. A little bit. That was awesome. A little bit, but he needed a cowboy hat on. Yeah. Yeah, those look cool. Okay, all right.

Go back to that in a minute, yeah. Oh, yeah, what are we doing? Bourne's just started Googling samurai cowboys. Hey, we're doing a radio show right now. You can do that later. I'll do it on my own time. Yeah. The next in today's top six are the US-Japan collaborations you may have forgotten about.

Number two, XXXXXL kimonos. Right. It's the comfort of a kimono. Yep. But the size of a muumuu. Yep. It's America's take on the classic kimono. With America's sizing, yeah.

And the number one in today's top six are the US-Japan collaborations you may have forgotten about. Battered and deep fried sashimi with cheese from a can covered in barbecue sauce. The essence is sashimi. That sounds like Texas sushi. Everything. Texas sushi. Yeah.

Texas sushi. Is that a chain? I've got to invent. I've got to Google that too because if I'm disappointed I haven't invented Samurai Cowboys. 100% Texas sushi would be a thing. They'll be deep frying it a little bit. Texas sushi appetizers.

This is just sushi that you can make in Texas. Texas style beef sushi? Yep. It exists. Oh my God. So basically there's no seaweed. They wrap the rice in schnitzel. Oh, hello.

That looks so good. I'm going to make some of that this weekend. Stand by for Vaughan Smith's Instagram story this weekend of Texas Dough Beef Sushi. I thought you were going to say stand by for Vaughan Smith's Instagram story of me in hospital. Oh, yeah. After a heart attack. The doctor delivering me the harsh news that I have clogged arteries at 37. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Recording an Instagram video. You've only had like three minutes to do that. Nothing's easy, Megan. Nothing's first time. Anyway, I better go, guys. We've got to do a radio show. Love you.

Bye. Okay, you've recorded Instagram? Great. Yeah. Yeah. If you want a real meta experience, you can watch that on our FVM show Instagram in a couple of minutes. Okay, six minutes past seven. So someone posted this on the internet.

I don't actually know how it started, but everyone's like, oh my God, me too. Which is what we all want from the internet. It's a freckle, isn't it? It's a freckle on the arm. Look, I don't want to freak you guys out. Can you let me get through the story before you two poo-poo this thing? Please, please, please. Go ahead, pre-poo-pooing.

Let me say it and then you can go ahead with the poo-poo. Okay. So someone uploaded a freckle on their wrist, and they'd realized that a few of their friends had the same freckle. So they posted it. This post ended up getting 55,000 likes when this was posted, and 10,000 comments from women saying that they all had this wrist freckle. Now, it doesn't matter which wrist.

But it's on the wrist, and it's a single, long freckle. Now, it doesn't matter which wrist. But it's on the wrist and it's a single long freckle. No, it's got to matter which wrist. It's a single visible freckle. I saw this going crazy online yesterday and the day before. What are your thoughts, Megan? Do you have a freckle? I've got a few. What I want to see, because this is a big load of turd.

What I want to see is it has to big load of turd What I want to see Is It has to be the same wrist You can't say It couldn't be right wrist Or left wrist It has to be the same wrist And I want to see

Everyone take a photo Of their wrist On a white background Hand down And then We collate them Change their opaqueness And

Layer them And I bet They're all over the shop Because everyone's just like I've got it it, and they point at their wrist. No one's doing an exact spot comparison. Oh, it's not in the exact spot. What are we wearing about? I've got like one, two, three, four on that wrist.

Oh, my God. How dare us get excited about a freak on a wrist in this horrible world right now? How dare you? Shut up. Absolutely, how dare you? Those women all have one visible... One of them's halfway to the elbow. One's just behind the wrist bone.

We're not talking about people that have got like a million freckles. We're talking about they've got no freckles on their wrist and one very visible one and around the same spot. A sister of the travelling freckle. Look at mine. It's like those girls. I can only see yours because you've put a red circle around it. I know, I put a red circle around it so you guys could see.

Also, it's not about men for once. It's about women. Why can't it be about men? Because this is specifically all women. Sexism. I've got it. Do you have it, Producer Caitlin, if we're talking about women with a freckle? I have a very prominent freckle on my wrist, on my right hand.

Is it like the... You'll be able to see it from here. Can you? Yeah. I can see it. I can see your arm. On my wrist, on my right hand. Is it like the... It's exactly... You'll be able to see it from here. Can you? Yeah. I can see it. I can see your arm. It's right there.

I can see it. And that's in exactly the same spot as your arm. I know. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pebble. Frickel. See, me and Anya have got a few. I don't have like one particular prominent one. A while back, people often say to me,

they saw a real fire in your eyes the day I said, you and I both get freckles. on my face. I have like a couple of freckles No, I thought we were talking about our shoulders. No, let's not go back to this.

When we sat down, I said, you and I are similar. Our freckles become prominent and you just turn into this dragon. No, because I get a tan. I don't want to go there again because it pisses me off. Yeah, now you're like,

you and I are a bit freckly and I'm like, hold on just a minute. No, you were talking about I don't get a tan, I get fre you're like I and you and I Are a bit freckly And I'm like Hold on just a minute No you were talking about I don't get a tan I get freckles I 100% get a tan You get freckly

And you burn I'd say we're about the same No I would absolutely not say You're pale as You're Scandinavian as bro Well that's a compliment I'll take that

I'm 8% Spanish No I thought they got eliminated When they rejigged the DNA test. So, check. This is what we're talking about right now. Is there is one prominent freckle on women's wrists on the top. And my wrist. On the top of your forearm slash wrist. Do you have it?

Chickens probably have it on their legs too. Like everybody's got a freckle and it on their legs too. Everybody's got it. Frequent is just kind of in the same general zone. What's coming up next then? Maddie's going to join us on that. You've had enough. I've had enough. It's Friday.

Let's get out of here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Not great weather for the return of the long weekend group too. I think currently there is a thunder, what do you call it? Thunderstorm watch. Thunder. call it, thunderstorm watch. Thunder. They're the thunderstorm watch.

Over like the Waikato, Auckland and Northland. Someone that actually knows all about this. Someone has to get some sensible males on this show. Maddie McLean from TV One, the weather department. Good morning, Maddie. Good morning to the weather department. That makes it sound very serious.

Maddie, we've got thunderstorm warnings and rain and snow. Tell me about it. I know. I think around the west coast of the North Island they had about 600 lightning strikes in about a three hour period overnight. That's crazy. Just quickly, do you have a

lone freckle on your wrist? Oh, piss off. Do you have the lone freckle on your wrist? Do you have the lone freckle? This was a female trend, but Matthew, you can join in. No, I don't think I do. Should I? Nah. Well, apparently the internet says you should, but anyway. Just draw one on. Females!

Don't try to jump on our bandwagon. Can you give us females one thing for once? It doesn't include you. If you only want one thing, don't waste it on a freckle. I'll do the old Cindy Crawford beauty spot. That'd be lovely. Now, the weather for the long weekend, it's not great, is it? To be honest, not today and not tomorrow.

Basically rain for most of the country over the next couple of days, especially tomorrow tomorrow's going to be very wet and the other thing is no uh we've got snow in the central plateau over the next couple of days and around the uh like eastern and southern mountain ranges in the south island as well winter is coming as they say have you ever seen Game of Thrones? Not once. But I believe that's a say. That was really good.

Now, Maddy, a couple of the members of the show are upset that they weren't invited to dinner the other night. This is birthday brunch all over again. Vaughn and I live closer to you than Fletch does as well. Well, to be honest, considering how many times Fletch has may-be'd

invitations of mine to parties in the past, I am amazed he actually turned up. That's true. This is true. But Matty, can I just say, you made, was it an Annabelle Langbein recipe out of the Annabelle? It was.

It was a little chicken and leek gratin number, actually. I love a gratin. I'm a big fan of a leek. Oft forgot of the onion fam. And did you tell them about dessert as well? Oh, yeah, it was delicious. What was it? It was divine.

It was just like. It was a raspberry brownie. Raspberry brownie. It was like soft and gooey and it had the sauce. Absolutely to die for. Is this because I send all my best weather pictures to Rene Wright? Is that what's happening?

That is it. In fact, I would be more likely to invite your dad for dinner before I invite you, probably born, to be honest. But he publicly states that Rene's his favourite. I just let it go unseen. No, no.

No, I believe I got a text from him recently after I've delivered some good weather to his area saying I was now his favourite. Oh, my God. Your dad is... You're going to be like your dad. You're going to be messaging weather presenters. Yeah, yeah.

Saying thanks for the sunshine today. Dad almost got a Facebook just to message Renee. Oh, really. Saying thanks for the sunshine today. Dad almost got a Facebook just to message Renee. Oh, really? Oh, that's creepy. He is a fickle man, is Ian Smith. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It makes you work hard for his love, which I'm not opposed to doing. I know. No, I know. As a son, I've really had to work. You have.

Maddy McLean, thank you so much. Obviously not great weather the long weekend. Are you able to 8 o'clock? A lot of rain around the country at 8 o'clock this morning? Yeah. I'm in the Coromandel at the moment

and it is cursing down. What does that do for Group 2? I'm very nervous for you guys. It makes it hard to hear the reply to. Yeah, but the one thing it means traffic's generally a bit slower. There's more congestion because people will just forget how to drive when it rains. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, so we've never had a torrential. We've never had a torrential. All right. I should have mentioned as well, Sunday, Monday, things will start clearing up. So tail end of the long weekend, you should have a bit of nice weather around the country. Well, I mean, that's what we called you for. So long weekend. you should have a bit of nice weather around the country towards the end of the long weekend. So, the whole long weekend. We got there.

We got sidetracked by the delicious Lake Grattan. Beautiful. Mandy McLean, thank you so much. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. A mother of a Florida schoolboy is very upset after his science homework came home and

read pen. It had some writing from the teacher. Teacher writing. How old is this son? What level are we talking? Primary, college? I mean, high school? Can you see the homework?

High school, but I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it's, he wouldn't be young, young. Right, okay. Because I can't understand some of that, but then that's not a good gauge. So he or she has written on the physics assignment, WTF is this, absolutely no credit.

Did they actually write WTF or spell it out? No, they wrote WTF. Okay. Which is all right, isn't it? Because it's like- It's their language. Talk to the kids with their language, babe. WTF is like, what the hell?

Or like, you know, you don't really ever say it out in full. I guess if you do, it's more brutal. So this has gone viral. Is mum upset? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She is wanting answers because obviously he failed. Yeah.

But like it didn't need to be written. So ruthless. So ruthless on the. Yeah. Like what the hell is this? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What the hell is this?

What is the most ruthless thing a teacher has said to you? You need to take life more seriously or you won't get anywhere. Still valid? Yeah. I mean, if I lose this job won't get anywhere. Still valid? Yeah. I mean, if I lose this job, I'm screwed. Sure. I can't remember. It was just like a long list of you're not going anywhere.

Always have you paid attention. You think, Karen, that's going to get you anywhere. Yeah, I always joked around, but I was real cute and farting about it. I wasn't a bad girl You know what I mean But When a teacher says Something like that

It really sticks with you Doesn't it Oh yeah Like a ruthless Piece of advice Yeah But it might just be What you need

To kind of buck your ideas up calling someone a loser And that like Stopped the whole class And everyone was like Oh I don't think You can call a kid that Like a record scratch

Like a Everyone was like Even the bad kids were like I don't think that can call a kid that. Like a record scratch. Everyone was like, even the bad kids were like, I don't think that's appropriate. There's something about loser, eh? That's real mean. Yeah. Producer Caitlin?

We know as a broadcasting school, they always give you, well, they try really hard to get you an internship at the end. And that's what I was promised, that this is going to be a great way. They try hard for you. They just kind of like, what I was promised that this is going to be a great way Can they try hard for you? They just kind of like if I was a boat

they just sort of cut the rope and watch me float away I was real good and got a scholarship I mean if you work hard sometimes things fail But pretty much

Pretty much everyone there gets a scholarship No everyone doesn't get a scholarship Not a scholarship No but an internship But I vividly remember one of the guys saying

where are we ever going to find but an internship. Yeah, but I vividly remember one of the guys saying, where are we ever going to find you an internship? And then I ended up in Gore, so. Right, okay, so the joke was on everybody. And then we were like, we'll take her. But at the time, you just remember that being quite ruthless. Yeah, because like, you were guaranteed an internship. And then he was like, we really don't know if we can find you one. I was like, what am I?

When they're guaranteeing everyone but saying you're going to be the person that breaks the mould, that's pretty mean. Hey, look at me now. Could we take some calls? Flaming away, yelling at you guys every day. Could we take some calls and some texts? What was the most ruthless thing a teacher said to you? Because you're bound to remember it.

It's probably still stuck in your memory. Yeah. Saying it. Maybe that you were called a loser. And if you're a teacher, just like whisper it in their ear. Don't say it in front of other kids. You don't want witnesses.

Don't leave evidence. No, you don't. They're going to be like, there's no hope for you. Oh, no, that's harsh. I'm whispering that in this imaginary kid's ear with my imaginary teaching degree.

I felt very bad about it. A teacher has gone viral after marking a student's homework with a ruthless line. W-T-F is this. Absolutely no credit. You want savage? Yeah. Listen to this.

So what does a teacher, how has a teacher savaged you? I got an A mark on a test once. Yeah. Listen to this. So what does it teach us? How has the teacher savaged you? I got an A mark on a test once. Yeah. I was so proud. Next to the A, it said turn over. I turned it over. It said the A was for awful and F. Oh!

Ouch. Bad jokes on her. I twinked out that bit and took it home to mum to show her my A. Brilliant. Although mum just must be like, A, perfect. And not look down and steal like the red crosses. Yeah, yeah. The crosses mean yes now, mum.

Okay, great. Jalen, what was the most ruthless thing a teacher said to you? Well, we had free time one time at Intermediate and the teacher like we were being loud and then the teacher goes to us, hey dickhead, shut up. To be fair though at intermediate though

you would just be like we were we told him that and he goes he goes to us no I didn't call you that I called you a unicorn brilliant

yeah it's your it's your word against mine and I'm the teacher so shut up yeah Jalen thanks for your call Sarah what's the most ruthless thing a teacher said to you Brilliant, yeah. It's your word against mine, and I'm the teacher. So shut up. Jalen, thanks for your call. Sarah, what's the most ruthless thing a teacher said to you?

When I was 15, my teacher said that I'd be nothing more than just a pregnant 18-year-old, but now I'm a doctor, so shame on her. I cannot believe a teacher said that to you. Yeah, I didn't go to class very much. Right. Do you think that maybe that turned it around? You were like, hang on. Possibly, yeah.

I can't wait to treat her one day. Oh, yeah. And then say, hmm. We need to amputate your leg. I came in to have a mole removed. Yeah, I'm taking your leg. I'm taking your leg. I'm taking both of them. The leg needs to go.

Thanks for your call, Sarah. Matt, what was the most ruthless thing a teacher said to you? Yeah, so we were playing around in drama one day, as you do in drama class, and teacher got a bit irate and told us all to go play in traffic. That was a classic line from my dad. He'd always say that to me and my brother. You guys go run on the white line in the middle of the road.

Roll around on the white line in the middle of the road. Oh, my God. That's ruthless. Pretty much. Savage. That's where your dad... Go play in traffic. He's supposed to care about you.

Oh, we were ratbags, so... Yeah, we were terrible, too. Yeah, right. I mean, look, that's the thing. I think most of us can look back and realise that... You deserved it. ...this wasn't undeserved. I mean, there's been the occasion of you'll be nothing more than a pregnant 18-year-old.

That's rough. That's rough. But a lot of the times, I think we all know we deserved a bit of a roasting. And a teacher who'd been dealing with a hundred of us throughout the day. A lot of text messages. Somebody said, a teacher once called me out on eating in front of everybody. Why are you always eating? Every time I look at you, you're eating.

And they said, I can't wait until your metabolism slows down. Like, they were wishing obesity on somebody. And they said, well, I'm still waiting for it to slow down because I'm always eating and I'm not yet fat. So, take that one. Take that. Somebody said, a teacher told me I wasn't smart enough to be in their class.

And I said, fine, I won't come to your class. But that motivated me to teach myself everything I needed to know. Oh, wow, okay. And I ended up getting really good marks in that subject at the end of the year with absolutely no help from them. Huh, take that.

And fourth form art class, I was doing a pencil drawing and my teacher said to me, right, you can't draw, why don't you go practice your paper mache in front of everybody and everybody laughed and to this day, when I hear someone talking about paper mache, I get a little tinge. I always loved doing the paper mache

because it didn't require any skill, did it? It's like, let's paper mache a balloon and then put egg carton feet on it and make a pig. That was legit stuff. Yeah. But you'd say no skill. If you wanted a smooth pig, there was skill involved.

You know, you're right. If you wanted a smooth pig and you had to have good placement of the snout to make it look like a pig. I tell you where it got real hard. We tried to do a paper mache penguin, but with wire. You know, chicken wire? Yeah, you do the wire shape, right? Yeah, we did that. See, there's your skill.

We did that with a cow. But I think the skill was always in the wire construction. Yeah. You could fill in a lot of your mistakes from the wire construction using the paper mache. Yeah, but it was very hard to get a smooth surface. Now, tip from an expert on the paper mache vibe. You can't go too many layers before you give it a good drying period. Oh, really?

Because that's where you go wrong. If you just keep applying wet on wet on wet on wet, you can't see the indents and everything and it could collapse it. Okay, so... You've got to have time

on your hands with your paper mache. It's no fool's game. All right, next on the show, we're gearing up for the long weekend group tour. Billie Eilish, 8 to 8.

What? 8 to 8. Friday Flashback. But first, it is a Friday tradition, Friday Flashback. We have to pick an old song that's at least 10 years old. This is from 2008. Okay. It's 11 years old.

So the reason I've gone with this person is because they have new music out today. Okay. But I also realised that this is the very first single we heard from her and we've never done it before. It was eligible all last year. This was her first song ever? Yeah. Okay.

Well, I mean, under another name, this person had Christian music. Oh, I know what you're talking about. But this was the first song that she released under her new pseudonym. And gosh, her parents were very upset with it. The whole world was like, this is a catchy ditty. And she's been making music ever since. So, oh God, I feel so much fresher. Well, I mean, yeah, because I mean, if this song is a fizzer,

a dud, then the long-awaited... It's 2 minutes 53. Let's blame... It's your fault. We'll blame Ross because he said, yeah, yeah, yeah,

that's a good one. 2 minutes 53, so if you hate the song, just be back in 2 minutes 53. Okay. Today's Friday flashback is Katy Perry, I Kissed A Girl.

All right, ZM. This was never the way I planned Not my intention I got so brave drinking And lost my discretion It's not what I'm used to Just wanna try you on. I'm carrying us for you. Caught my attention. I kissed a girl and I liked it. Taste of her cherry chapstick. I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right

Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it No, I don't even know your name It doesn't matter You're my experimental game Just human nature It's not what good girls do Not how they should behave

My head gets so confused Hard to open I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it Us girls, we are so magical Soft skin, red lips, so kissable Heart to wrist is so touchable Too good to deny it Ain't no big deal, it's innocent I kissed a girl, I liked it At Santa's end

I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it It's Katy Perry on ZM, I kissed a girl

It's Megan's pick for Friday Flashback Just quickly before we get to the long-weeking group toot Vaughan, feedback? Nothing like invoking memories of watching besties tease guys on the dance floor at the outback to the song. Banger. Legit song choice for a dull day. Katie for the win.

Right. My boyfriend. No, I can't read that out. That's wildly inappropriate. What her boyfriend. Oh, whoa. She was singing it. Yep.

And he was excited about it. Okay. That's all I'll say. That's the PG version. All right. Somebody else said they used to sing the song before they knew they were gay. Right. Okay. Okay. That's all I'll say. That's the PG version. Somebody else said they used to sing the song before they knew they were gay. Right. Okay.

Okay. Good. Good to know. I don't know. My silence was I was trying to work out was it a guy singing it or a girl. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, yeah, right. Either way, it kind of works, right?

It does. Don't stop on today. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan's long weekend group tour. Well, here we are, New Zealand. It is time for the long weekend group tour. It's the last one since Easter. Well, the last time we did this was Easter. The first time since Easter and the last time until Labor Weekend, which is a four to five month hiatus and long weekend.

And we are dealing with some inclement weather. That's an understatement around the country. We're getting a lot of wind, rain and snow across the country today. Lightning, thunder. I'm going to need a pen. Megan, can I borrow that pen you've got there? Because I've got a feeling there's going to be many people saying, that one's been chewed on, that's disgusting.

I didn't chew on it. Who's the chronic pen chewer around here? Every pen has been mauled. No, I don't do that. Now, we need you to call us if you're in traffic with the Long Weekend Group Tute. Now, you can either participate by hearing the Long Weekend Group Tute and replying, or you can be the tutor.

There is a bit of a tune here. Yes, there is. It's known as the Milo Tune. Milo Tute. This is how it goes. An easy way to remember it if you are conducting the toot is one, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. Then you stop. Somebody else follow up with two toots.

All right. Are we ready? No. Now, last time when you got very angry and very upset. Only because we started with such a bang. It was like watching a Warriors game. Like first half. This is where smoke in it. We're such a bang. It was like watching a Warriors game. Like, first half, we're smoking it. We're going to win it.

And then it just fell to bits. We got so close to the world record. So we've got to work on that full fitness, full game fitness. Now, we're going to start this morning in the capital, in Wellington. And Millie, Eden and Jenna, I believe you guys are in the car together right now. Yeah. Okay, now whereabouts in Wellington are you? We are just driving to the big tunnel.

The mountain big tunnel? Yeah. Okay. How far away are you from the tunnel? About... You should give us another minute. Okay, we can come back. Another minute.

Should we come back? Yeah. Okay, we'll pop you on hold. Just stop in the tunnel if we're not there in Okay. We can come back. Should we come back? Yeah. Okay. We'll pop you on hold. Just stop in the tunnel if we're not there in time. Holly, good morning. Morning. In Auckland.

Whereabouts in Auckland are you? I'm driving down Custom Street. Okay. Custom Street. Right in the city. That's not too far from here. At the moment, I would call this rain a little bit more than drizzle. Okay.

Well, Holly, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group. Window down when you're ready. Window down. Okay. Here we go. No. It's not a good start, is it? Not a good start. All right, Holly.

Should we go back to the tunnel? Let's go back. It's a guaranteed tunnel, the old Vic Tunnel. How's it going, Millie? Hi, good. We're still a minute away. The traffic's terrible. Who's that?

Who's that? Nigel. Nigel. He's not on our list. We've got to put Nigel on the list. Millie. Nigel. Do you think we try it before the tunnel? Or do you want to wait until you're in the tunnel?

I reckon we'll wait until we're in the tunnel. We're almost there. This is Millie, Eden, Jenna and Nigel. And Nigel. Yeah. Nige. If they go on, they're going to be called Nige heaps of mates. Not Nigel no mates today.

Nigel heaps of mates. Do we want to go now? Are they... Um... Like... Um... We're so close. Bloody hell, Nigel.

How much stalling do you need from us? We'll come back. Let's go to Alex. Alex, we're in Auckland. Are you? Oh, hi. We're on Custom Street in the city. We've just had a failure on Custom Street.

We know you. Okay. I'm going to try and lock eyes with someone and make sure that they check. Okay, all right. When you're ready. When you're ready, Alex. Okay.

Okay, windows getting down. And then we're going to... No! No, Custom Street! That was a great tune, Alex. It was a great tune. I can. It was a great toot. As soon as you put your window down, you could hear the rain. Yeah.

I looked for encouragement. Yeah, yeah. No one locked eyes with me. I'm so disappointed. Alex, you tried your best. You did. Let's go back to the tunnel. This is probably the most build-up we've had to one single toot

as part of the long weekend group toot. Nigel, are you in the tunnel? Yes, we the most build up we've had to one single toot as part of the long weekend group toot. Nigel, you in the tunnel? Yes, we're here. Okay, do it. Okay. Let's go there, really. Yes.

That was... Oh, it was worth the wait. Nigel Lotsomates is on the board! Yes, Millie, Eden, and Nigel, congratulations. What a way to start the long weekend for two. Yes! Yes!

Go again! Go again! Go again! Okay, ready? Let's go. Let's go. You ready, guys? Out the window. Oh! Oh, no. He shouldn't have done that again, should I?

Who told you to do that again? No, no, not me. We were so... Oh, he's coming. We got it. What was that? Sounded like a parrot. It sounded like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Okay, now you're on the board. You're on the board. You're on the board. We're one from three. We're one from three. Mish, good morning. We're about to you right now. Good morning.

We're waiting to get on the Inter-Islander Ferry. Oh, what more can we? Wellington or Picton? Wellington. All right. We've got to do it. We're about to get on. Okay, go.

Go then. Yes. Yes. Easy. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. Migrating Mish is what she's going on the board as. Mish and Ben. Mish and Ben. On the log weekend on his board.

Congratulations. All right, Larissa, good morning. Hi, hi, hi. Now, whereabouts are you in the country right now? We're in Papakura, south side. Okay, okay, because we've had a couple of Auckland real fizzes today. Yeah, it's a different city, Zetlandstown. You're going to bring it back.

I've been wanting to do this for ages. Okay, well, if you get on the board, you're going to be known as Loose Larissa. No, that's bad because you've got kids there. We'll work on a name. We'll work on a name. I'll get on with my name. All right, Larissa. Loose Larissa.

Okay, when you're ready. All right, here we go. All right. Oh, we did it. Yes, I heard it. A very sort of like, I think your phone gated a little bit of the volume, but I definitely heard a toot back there. Oh, they left it.

In front of us. Yay. You're on the board. Larissa and the kids. We'll put you on the board. Larissa and the kids. That's just what we know it is. Love it. All right. board. Larissa and the kids. We'll put you on the board. Larissa and the kids. That's just what coming on is. Love it.

All right, congratulations, Larissa. Harriet, whereabouts? You're in Hamilton. I'm in Hamilton. I'm just on Anglesey Street and Hood Street. Okay, we've had a lot of... I think Hamilton always does us proud with the long weekend. That's pretty good.

Okay, I'm going to go. All right, when you're ready. Yes! Hamilton! Yes, yes, yes. Honking Harriet's on the board for Hamilton. Honking Harriet of Hamilton. Woo-hoo!

Brilliant, congratulations. All right, we're going to go. Our first South Island participant, Liana, you're in Dunedin. I am indeed. I've got Jamie, Grace and Jaden here with me. I'm their teacher. And we're heading down to the National Young Leaders Day from Timaru. So we've just arrived in Dunedin.

Oh, okay. All right. What should we call them? Let's see if we can get some future prime ministers on the board. I was going to say a car full of politicians. Yeah. All right. Okay, well, when you're ready, take it away.

The long weekend group two. Okay, I've just stopped're ready, take it away, the long weekend group toot. Okay, I've just stopped at the lights on Cumberland Street outside the museum, so bring it home. If you're in the area, toot back.

Okay, here we go. Come on, Beneden! It's important for young ladies to realise life will be full of letdowns. Unbelievable. Oh, mate, honestly. Wow. I got some stares, but I got no toots.

No toots. No toots, but hey, you did great. Thanks for trying, and have a great time at that youth ladies get-together. Thank you, we will do. And also. All right, thank you, Liana. Thank you. All right, we're next.

Going to go back to the capital city where we had success. Chantal, whereabouts in the capital are you? I've just taken the terrace exit. Okay. That would have been that intersection that was keeping Vaughn up at night. The other night. Yes. Yes.

Awful. Awful intersection. All right. When you're ready, Chantal. All right. No one. Well, that's not on you, Chantel. You gave that one up.

No, you. Good to be. Good horn and good toot. By my calculations, we're running at a four from eight, so half. We've got a 50% success rate. Okay, we go now to Erin, Mandy and Greta. Good morning. Hello, Mandy.

G'day. We're about to you guys right now. We're Good morning. Hello, Mandy and Aaron. G'day. We're about to see you guys right now. We're on the southwest motorway near the airport. Okay. Okay. All right, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group tour. Okay.

Okay. Wait, wait, what? What? I don't know what happened. I think we were overcome by the weather there. Did you get a toot back? Yes. Because I think the very last sound I heard from them was a toot. Are we going to give it to them?

Should we try again for a clean feed okay let's try one more time okay yeah it's a terrible phone line but i mean they say you you you promise me you got a toot back yeah okay that's good enough for me yes enough for me on the board emg we're calling them emg on the board emg on the board on the board with a success where are we going now i think we need some redemption indoneiden natasha good morning good morning now whereabouts indoneida are you um i'm on the one-way heading north. Okay. Are there cars around? There is. Okay.

All right. When you're ready, Natasha. Okay. Okay. Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss. No. Silence. What an incredible car. That was great.

Turning from here. What kind of car are you driving? Honda Legend. There's a bus beside me too. That would have been perfect. They're not allowed to toot willy-nilly though. Wouldn't have thought the Honda Legend would have had a great horn like that. No, great horn.

What an incredible selling point that is. Sharp, sharp. I'd describe that horn as sharp. As for the Honda Legend. Sharp. Sean in Hamilton, good morning. Morning. Okay.

So far, you'll be our second Hamilton caller. We're running a 100% success rate on Hamilton. Sean, whereabouts in the Tron are you? Just coming down Te Rapa Road. Okay, that's a hot spot for a two-to-two. It certainly is. Sean, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group two. All right, here we go.

Sean, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. No, no, no, no, no, no. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. Sean.

Sean, you tooted wrong. He's a stickler for the details, Sean. Now, this is how it should go. Sean, it should go. One, two. One, two, three. One, two, three, four. Okay.

All right, let's try again. I believe in you, two. One, two, three. One, two, three, four. Okay? All right, let's try again. I believe in you, Sean. No, Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean. Sean, listen to me, Sean. Sean, I'm not going to give up. Oh, the fucking orange shirt. Oh, I'm sorry. I am giving up on Sean.

I was going to say I'm not going to give up on Sean, but then he swore. He swore better than he tooted. He swore better than he tooted he swore he's given one more chance okay sean listen to me sean listen one two one two three one two three four now i don't mind if you count out loud as you do it but it is vital that the toot is done correctly. All right, last time. Okay. Count it out, Sean. Did you just toot yourself, Sean? I tooted yourself, Sean. No, no, it's the time.

It's me. Sean, you're not allowed to toot yourself. Sean, you're not allowed to toot yourself. Sean, you don't finish yourself off, mate. I'm on this show. Oh, Sean. Sean, what a rollercoaster. You know what?

A for effort, Sean. Right. Let's do one more and then we'll take a break. We are going to go to our very first. We're rolling in at five from 11. I want to go to our first Garden City, our first Christchurch entry. Jerry, Sade, Roman and Rose, good morning. Good morning.

Are you a family situation or a carpool? Oh, I'm a family situation. You're a family situation. What's your surname? We need a collective name for the board. Should you make it? Thorpe. Thank you, Ben.

Thorpe. Thorpe. Oh, the Thorpes. The Thorpe family. No, neither. Your phone cut off. That is an inappropriate surname. All right. All right. So Thorpes of the Gardenpes. That's not what I thought you said. The Thorpes family. No, neither. Your phone cut off. That is an inappropriate surname. All right.

All right, so the Thorpes of the Garden City. All right, when you're ready, we're about to crash it, so just quickly. We're driving down Papineau Road. I'm just waiting for the light to stop. Okay, all right. Well, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toad.

Okay, I'm just coming up now to a stop uh and can you give me like 30 seconds well i mean do you want to come back to this okay we'll come back we'll come back let's go tiana in christchurch we're about to you hello i'm on carmen road heading towards hornby give us a long weekend is the 13th tutor we've had today now unlucky for some tiana i want you to break that superstition wide open no what an answer that is all right hey thank you all right well i think if we can probably go back now to the uh family uh are you at the lights now we are just rolling up to them now. Okay. Hit it. It's gonna... It's still rolling.

It's still rolling. Okay, yeah. Sorry, it's a real long roll. Yeah, no, it's a very long roll, isn't it? It's just... Okay, I'm gonna try now. What would you say if one of your kids was taking this long to get to the dinner table? I would be screaming.

Yeah, you'd be like, hurry up! Yeah, okay. Okay, ready? Yep, yes, ready. Did you hear? No. No, all we got was a face full of wind. Like a Labrador out on a road trip.

Go again. Don't stick your phone so far out. Yes! The Garden City Thorpes! The Garden City Thorpes are on the board! Yes! They're on the board.

Well, despite the inclement weather with a lot of thunderstorms, rain for the, especially the North Island at the moment, and rain, heavy winds and strong winds

and snow forecast for the South Island and the Central Plateau over the long weekend, we're getting there. The long weekend Group 2. So we've done 13. Do we want to go to,

are we setting, do we want to set a limit or is that just going to upset me later? I think we'll see how we go because I don't think we're going to get the world record with today's weather. We only need five more. Yeah, five and we've beaten that. We need five successful.

And we've got six in the first half. I just don't want to get you too excited, Bourne. Now, we're going to start round two of the Long Weekend Group Tude on an island that we've never done the Long Weekend Group Tude on before, Waiheke. Anna and the kids, good morning. Good morning. How are you going? I? Anna and the kids, good morning. Good morning. How are you going? I'm very well. Oh, my gosh.

We're out on Why Hecky Island. This is exciting. We're getting a bit nervous because we're sitting near the school patrol crossing with the deputy principal waiting. Oh, okay. I used to do the lollipop thing. Did you? Road patrol.

I did that. Did you have to hold the sign because the kids all hinge at me these days? This is before you had a hinge. Yeah. You kids have Road Patrol, I did that. Did you have to hold this because the kids all hinge it these days. No, this is before you had a hinge. Yeah. You kids have got it so easy these days. P.C. Madness. It is. If there's strong winds,

you have to hold on to the lollipop. Yeah. Hold on high. Or you just blow away in the wind. All right, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group. Okay, ready? Yep.

Yep. Ready? Yep, yep. Did you hear that? Are we counting that? Yeah. It was multiple. Yes! This is very exciting. Maybe they had Parkinson's.

You said it, not us. That takes us to 7 out of 14. You're on the board as Anna and the Islanders. Yes. Anna and the Islanders. Anna and the Islanders. Congratulations. I was worried that that might sound bad, but then after she said Parkinson's, I'm pretty sure it was parallel in comparison.

It really is. Maybe inappropriate, Anna. I just like it clear. Yeah, inappropriate. Anna, not us. Inappropriate, Anna. Anna, not us. Vicky, good morning.

Morning. All right, you're in Christchurch. We're about to you. Barbados Street. Barbados Street. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Hang on, I'm just winding down my windows. Okay.

An essential part of a long weekend group. Toot, babe. God damn it. No, you're joking. Wait, we didn't hear the toot. Vicky. What did you say, Dennis? I said toot back.

Oh, you said Dennis being a bad dog, Dennis. My horn's awful. Okay, no more. We'll just go again, Vicky. Go again, Vicky. We talked a lot. Go again? Yeah.

All right. It sounds really... I heard it going down the end. Is your horn working? Yeah. You're not being in a war on a fitness with no warning device. It sounds like it's whispering.

Like, hey, hey. I know. I just got a new car and it's in Nissan. You'd think that'd have better horns. That's a brand. It does not say much for a new Nissan, does it? We can't put you on the board. Vicky, thank you.

No. The Safara family, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. You're in Christchurch. You didn't family, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. You're in Christchurch. You didn't hear Vicky's whispering horn just then, did you? No, we didn't. Okay. Well, when you're ready, give us

a long weekend group toot. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot. Ah. Good toot, though, from the Safara family. It was a good toot. Let's try again. Okay. Okay. I know.

Okay. Yep. Boring lot of people around here. No, it's not on one of trying though. Like you've great tooting. Both times. A bit more aggression in the second time around, but it's a no. Unfortunately, that's a no.

Matt in Auckland. Good morning, Matt. Matt's driving. Good morning. Oh, Matthew. Delayed, Matt. Now, we haven't had a lot of success in Auckland today. Matt, whereabouts in Auckland are you?

I was on the motorway, but now I'm just parked on the side of the road trying to do the group two. Okay, well, when you're ready, let's hear this. I mean, I'm sure the New Zealand police love dealing with this sort of stuff when you're ready matt give us a long weekend group tote okay yeah just oh come on no man it wasn't happening good tote though from you matt really good it's good toot. Yeah, no, it was good. It was aggressive. Kevi, good morning. Whereabouts in Auckland are you?

No, mate. Corbine Road, Mel Wellington. Oh, OK. Yeah, that's a busy road. All right. Well, when you're ready, Kevi, give us a long weekend group toot. Here we go. Fail.

I tell you what, our second half game's not in Auckland. Yeah, it's not strong, is it? Just really letting us down. Although the weather is probably the worst it's been in Auckland ever for a long weekend group tour. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Coming down. It's coming down.

I don't want excuses, but. Well, we'll certainly grab one if we can. And Parmi, good morning, Emma. Morning. Emma, now I'll often slag off Palmerston North. I don't blame you. No, I'm certainly not apologising for it. But tell you what, they did not let us down last time.

Palmerston North got two of the toots last time. They did. Now whereabouts in Palmy are you, Emma? I'm just coming onto the square. Okay, all right. This is a long weekend group toot hotspot. All right, when you're ready, Emma, give us a long weekend group toot. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.

Oh, you can hear it. Are you saying... Did you get a toot back? There was definitely one. Well, can we try again? Yeah, try again. If you replied, do it again. We've got to be able to hear it.

Absolutely. Ready? Yeah. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot you replied, do it again. We've got to be able to hear it. Ready? Yeah. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Oh, again. It's so far away. No, I'm not hearing anything, Emma. So what is it?

Quick chat with the panel here, Emma. We can't do that, can we? No. Because we didn't even hear it. The last one that was muffled, I heard a little toot. So that's why we accepted that one. Simon and Tauranga, our first Tauranga tooter this morning. Good morning.

Good morning. It's Clive. It's Clive, not Simon. Okay, well, I don't know what's happening. Clive, this is our first Clive to ever take in the long weekend. I believe so. Clive, whereabouts in Tauranga are you? So I'm in the car park at Bethlehem College with my son, Oli.

Okay. Are there other people sitting So I'm in the car park at Bethlehem College with my son Ollie. Okay. Are there other people sitting in the cars in the car park? Yeah, there's heaps of people around here. Okay, alright. Well, when you're ready,

give us a long weekend group tote. Alright, here we go. They replied with the long weekend group too. Technically, they didn't reply with the official toots. They started their own long weekend group too. If you're in that car, it's just toot toot is all we require. Toot toot back.

Can we try again? Let's go again. Oh, you know, did you hear that? They are listening because they just gave us the single toot. Okay, so listen person in another car. This is, we call this broadcasting, but this is very niche castingots. Okay, so listen person in another car. This is, we call this broadcasting, but this is very niche casting, because we're talking to one person in one car.

And Tauranga. Just two toots. Clive's going to lead the way. Clive's going to lead. You follow up with two toots. Let's go. Here we go. Yep.

Yay! And somebody else joining in as well. We'll count it. Three there. Congratulations, Clive. You're going on the board. What's your son's name? Ollie. Ollie. Clive and Ollie.

There we go. On the honours board. Now, what's our number at, Vaughn? We're running eight from 20. So just under 50%. We don't have enough time to beat the world record. That's the sad news. Are you joking?

I'm not joking. We need three more. So we're somewhere between eight. 26 minutes to nine. Can we do it? Hit it fast. Ready? Go.

Okay. All right. Let's do a couple of quickies. Georgia. Hello. Also your plans for the weekend, isn't it? Give us the long weekend group too. Okay, go.

All right, ready? Go. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's nine. Congratulations.

All right, Georgia Palmy on the honours board. Tina, whereabouts in Auckland are you? We're in West Auckland in Kerry Lane. Give us a long weekend, Group 2. Again, Auckland. You signed us a moment, Michael. Michael, whereabouts in Wellington? I hear Tina Key.

Okay, give us a long weekend group tune. No. It's a no. We need one more to match the record. Christchurch, the Ward family are in the car. Good morning. Good morning. Morning.

Morning. All right. All right, all right. Give. Morning. All right. Good morning. All right. All right. Give us the long weekend group toot. No. No. The wards there.

That's ruined the wards long weekend. The wards tried their hardest. Marlon and Auckland, good morning. Morning. How's it going? How many have we had successful toots, Vaughan? We've had nine from 24. We need one more to match.

One more to match. Okay, Marlon, give us the long weekend group toot. Okay, mate. Yeah! Somebody did it! Did they finish off with the whole toot again? I think so. They're starting to get with the the long weekend group too, but we'll take it. We'll take it.

We'll take it. We'll take it. We're equal with the record. Come on, Fletch. Okay. All right then. One more. Kelsey.

Two more. No, one more. Hi, Leah. Good morning. Good morning. Give us a long weekend group too. No, wait. I don't want to put any pressure on Kelsey, but this is the last call we're taking today.

No. The last one. And it's your chance, Kelsey, to take it above the previous record and set its own record. It's not happening today. It's not happening today. Can I have one more try? No.

Because I feel like she tooted and then sped up. You can't speed away from you. No, no, no, don't count it. No, don't count it. Don't count it. But surely we can do one more. No, we cannot. Yes.

We're so close to the record. It's about bloody time I put my foot down. One more of them. No. 10 from 26. I'm going to go to Teresa in Tauranga for the last call. The last call. Okay. Teresa, to Teresa in Tauranga for the last call. Oh, Tauranga. The last call.

Okay. Teresa, whereabouts in Tauranga are you? I'm on the 10th. Okay, give us a long weekend, group two. Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you? You did. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

We have not beaten the record. Here's what I need you all to do over the next four months of no long weekends. Buck your ideas up. Alright?

Get practising. Get tooting. I want some match fitness. I don't want to have a strong first half only to fade away in the second. Not bad though

for New Zealand though, is it? Game of two halves. Not bad. We've equaled the record. Yeah. Well, we'll try again later this weekend. Thank you to everybody that did halves. Not bad. We've equaled the record. Yeah. Well we'll try again later we can.

Thank you to everybody that did participate. Hopefully we get some better weather next time. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree Fletch? Yes.

And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now back to the podcast. We've had the long weekend group toot

and I guess the weather not really playing ball for the long weekend? No. It's going to be cold and rainy. Yeah. But that's a great excuse to watch some TV shows. Especially if you're not going away. Yeah.

Hello, Netflix. Hello, Lightbox and Neon and other ones. You didn't even miss out on any others? Hulu with a VPN. TVNZ On Demand. VHS tapes that your mum mum still got under the stairs. Yes. Hey, when did I say that?

I've just thought about HBO. The Deadwood movie's coming out. Deadwood was this phenomenal TV show, but it ended after three seasons, and everyone who loved it was like, boo. They're like years later. Right. Ten years, I almost think it's been.

They're doing a movie, and I think that's out like today or this weekend. Okay. Right. Ten years, I almost think it's been. They're doing a movie, and I think that's out, like, today or this weekend. Okay. So if it's on HBO, it'll be on Neon here? Yeah, they pick up a lot of the content, eh? So we thought with the long weekend here and the crappy weather, we'd go around the room and get some picks for what you can binge this long weekend. Right.

Who's going first? Dead to me. I'll start. Dead to me. I'll start. Dead to me. We've all seen. I've just watched the first two episodes of that. Half hour episodes, you can probably binge it in a day or two.

Oh, no. No. A couple of, yeah, well. How many episodes? Eight. Ten. Ten episodes. No, okay, yeah.

That's five hours. Yeah, you can probably do that in a day. Easy. Christina Applegate. And who you can probably do that in a day. Easy. Christina Applegate. And who is the other actress that you recognise but you promote? Linda Cardinelli. Yeah, so good. You spend in heaps of things you recognise.

She's a phenomenal actress. Christina Applegate, her husband gets hit by a car. And that's how it starts. Yeah. She goes to grief. Yeah. A grief session with other people. And so many twists.

I think it's kind of dark comedy. Really well written. End of every episode, you're left going. I think it's kind of dark comedy. Really well written. End of every episode, you're left going, I know. So good. Even the final episode, there's definitely going to be another season of that. Oh, for sure.

Because you're just like, at the end of that. We're also under a week away from The Handmaid's Tale. So season three. Yes. So if you haven't seen those, dedicate some time to catching up before that starts. That's on Lightbox. June 6th that starts. And they are going to put out

the first three episodes of the new season. They're all just going to drop. As one. I believe so. Yeah, I believe so. Okay. Okay. They're going to drop. Because I think they did that last time. Yeah, and then you've got to wait and then there'll be weekly. Yeah. And then it comes out weekly. All right.

Another, I'm well behind the eight ball on this, but I've just been watching the American crime story, the story of the Gianni Versace. I know you guys talked about this last year. And you've watched it. But now, I always thought

it looked cheesy. Here's why I thought these looked cheesy. Because Ricky Martin's in it? Ricky Martin's in it and the guy Darren Criss from Glee. And I've only ever seen him in Glee and Because Ricky Martin's in it? Ricky Martin's in it and the guy, Darren Criss from Glee. And I've only ever seen him in Glee

and then Ricky Martin. I was like, this isn't going to be high quality. And the OJ one had Cuba Gooding Jr. in it. And Ross from Friends. And John Travolta?

Yeah. Yeah. You can see, don't blame me for thinking it seemed a bit cheesy from the outset. Well, thanks for joining the rest of us.

No, it's really good. They're really well done. Really good. Has anybody watched the new one with Renee Zellweger in it? I watched 10 minutes and then I was like, no, I'm going to have to dedicate some serious. It's odd, but I'm not ready to give it a review yet. 10 parts described as a neo-noir social thriller.

I don't know what that means. I'd love to see the... Neither. It's a lot of words. I'd love to see Netflix stats of how many people start something and go, no, this is rubbish, and then stop it. Like, imagine if your show was one of those. Yeah.

That people... People started on Netflix and were like, instantly, like, let's go back to the menu. That's tough. That would be quite horrible. That's a tough one. I haven't seen the movie that everyone's talking about that's making people sick, because it's that horrific. No. It That's a tough one. I haven't seen the movie that everyone's talking about that's making people sick because it's that horrific.

No. It's the new Netflix one. The Girl of Girls is on it. Yes, Marnie. Marnie. Alison. She was in Get Out. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in it. And Logan Browning, who was in Dear White People. Okay. And it's set in China and it's about a piano protege. But apparently it's so, at one stage I'll say this, I read it in a review, she vomits maggots.

Oh, okay. So that's why people aren't new. You're out. I'm out. Not getting into it. If you like stand-up comedy, Wanda Sykes new stand-up, it's called Not Normal. That's really funny. She's always on Cuba Enthusiasm. And also we've given it lots of props, but Chernobyl, that's on Not Normal. That's really funny. She's always on Cuba Enthusiasm. And also we've given it

lots of props, but Chernobyl, that's on Neon. Yes. That's the best. Is the last episode this month, this Tuesday? This Tuesday coming, yeah.

It's wow. That is intense. You might have to space those out though. Because they're quite a harrowing watch. Every episode is a very harrowing dark watch

for a different reason. Yeah. Have you watched episode four yet? I have. You see why my wife really struggled with episode four. I had to look away. Really struggled with it. Well, hopefully that helps you kill some time this weekend.

Because it looks by the forecast we are going to be inside and very cold. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? very cold