ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 02 2018

Episode Date: November 1, 2018

Everyone go buy fans! Vaughan learnt how to draw off Youtube and do you have seasonal friends?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello there and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, where you can get a new Nokia on a prepaid rollover pack starting from $19. Now, on with the podcast. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, happy Friday. Friday. Friday. How was the weather at your place last night?

Because I thought my house was going to get blown down. Windy. And I don't know, I was asleep at like nine o'clock. Because it was one of those classic examples of not much was made of that, yet heaps of people lost power and everything. But then with the storms that we have, the week worth of hype and freak out about. Nothing happens. Nothing happens.

Yeah. Oh, was it like real bad? Oh, Megan. My clothes horse blew over at one point and I was really pissed because my undies ended up in a little puddle. Oh, Megan will rebuild. The towels. When you've got a clothing horse full of towels,

oh, they blow over easy. Yeah. Because they catch so much wind. Oh, what next? Best. Yeah. Because they catch so much wind. Oh, what next? Who's the best invention ever? Clothes. Clothes. Yeah.

Did someone patent that original design? You know, the classic A with the wings? I don't know. I don't think so because they sell them everywhere. Fools. Fools. They should have. They'd be bloody bajillionaires by now.

Because we go through at least three a year. A year? How? Oh, yeah. I overload. I'm a chronic overloader. And they bend or something? Yeah, they bend and then the joints break.

I've got a couple I've put back together. Like, I've put the joints there and then, like, tied it back together like I'm a survivor. Making a hut. Like you're marooned on an island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know those knots that you always see them

tying the rafts together with. Yeah, right. Like that, like that. Okay. Friday flashback today, Megan. That's what I'm currently trying to figure out. I forgot that it's May.

This Friday will be three weeks away. From Friday Jams Live. From Friday Jams Live. And I've read that there's a report that November is apparently going to be a scorcher

across the country. Ooh. So that's great news. Like 30 degree days in November I read yesterday. And in some places, yeah, it's going to be insane. And not a lot of rain

for farmers, but they've had all winter of rain. We'll feel sorry for them. Oh yeah, did they put some rain aside? When they were all saying it was too much rain, did they start putting some rain aside for later? I hope they did.

Me too. Just like some sunshine in a tan. Yeah, exactly. Alright you lot, listen up, it's story time. Three news headlines for three news stories that are found from around the world. Interesting, unusual, odd news stories.

Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, newborns college fun gets a big boost. Headline two, man rescued from well, not deep thinker. And headline three, piggyback bandit to be extradited. The piggyback bandit. Was the guy who fell in the well, Tiki-tiki-tembo, no-serenbo, chari-barri-roochie, pit-peri-pembo?

No. No. Well, it's not in this case, no. It's good, because when he fell down the well, his brother Chang struggled to tell everyone what was happening because his name was so long. You ever heard that? Yeah.

I know you've told us about this kid's book. Yeah, yeah. Great story. That's why Chinese, it's the story. Well, first children in Chinese, traditionally, in Chinese culture were the most important. That stink, right? Being the middle child.

I get it, being the older brother, that makes sense. Like you are But you also had to look after Your parents and everything Like they moved in with you When they were old Oh that's not happening That's not happening

So they always gave them long And like super names Right And then he fell down the well And he nearly drowned Because his brother took so long To tell everyone what was happening Because of his

Stupid long name Okay Yeah so it wasn't him No not him It's still amazing to me That people fall down wells. I don't think they mean to, Vaughan. I don't think they ever think, well, I'm just going to fall down this giant never-ending hole.

If you had open wells in New Zealand, you'd definitely have to have some sort of safety warning around there. Great over it. Yeah, definitely. You can have a brick wall and a little bucket. I know. I always think that they have that. They all have that. I've only ever seen one of those as a decorative one in a little bucket. I know. And you winch down. I always think that they have that. They all have that. I've only ever seen one of those as a decorative one in a nan's garden.

Yeah. And you're like, stink, nan. This is like a foot deep. Yeah. Put in some effort. Dig a massive hole. Piggyback Bandit. Do you want newborn college fund, number one,

or man rescued from well, or piggyback bandit? Do not. Are you Bandit? Do not. Are you Googling? Do not Google. Do not Google. I'll have one or three. Are you Googling Piggyback Bandit? I'm going to go one because I'm on to the Piggyback Bandit.

Okay. Okay, so let's go number one. Let's go story number one. Mm-hmm. All right. Hang on. I've got to accept bloody cookies or whatever this bloody website's using. Now, we go to the UK where this news story is reported,

but I believe this happened in the United States. KFC has given a sum of money to a family who named their newborn daughter after the chain's founder, Colonel Sanders. What? Now, the little girl's college fund has received $11,000 US. So about $1,700 New Zealand dollars. After their parents named the baby girl Harland Rose in the Colonel Sanders baby naming competition. Was Colonel Sanders' name Harland?

Yeah, Harland Sanders. Yeah, Colonel Harland Sanders. That's quite a cool name for a girl. Harland, I think that's cool. Or like Harley. Yeah. A lot of girls called Harley. Harland.

It's Harland. It's Harland. Harland. H-A-R-L-A-N-D. Yeah, that's cool. So yeah, she was born the 9th of September. I don't know why this is just coming out now. But, yeah, KFC giving her US$11,000 towards education.

Okay, and also for counselling when they find out she's named after Colonel Sanders in the teasing begins. Yeah, pretty much. But this was a competition, so I'm assuming other people named their kids after the Colonel. Right. Yeah, how do you win? If he's single, calling it Harland or Colonel?

Chose the best one. Chose the best one. Harland Rose. They were like, that one will do. Probably chose the cutest one too because that's not a bad photo, is it? It's pretty cute.

Yeah, wouldn't you? Just choose the cutest one. And not an overly chubby baby. I don't think you want to be associated with childhood obesity. If you specialise in fried chicken. Yeah. Probably to be avoided. Would that be enough to sway your... No.

No. Not $11,000. Nah. A lot of people would though, wouldn't they? Yeah. But I like that name, so I would. Harland. I think it I would. Harland. I think it's cute.

Harland. For me, it feels like more of a boy's name. Maybe Harland. Harley is. Maybe. Harland. And that's unisexual. Yeah, that is.

That is unisex. The piggyback bandit. Did you read about the piggyback bandit or just see the headline? It's quite yucky. He's like this creepy big fat dude and he's like my age, but he looks at least 15 to 20 years older. And he, after football games, would run up to the football players, like university level football players,

and like jump on their back and be like hey give me a piggyback ride and like massage them when they were coming off the field to be like good work he he he he he like yeah it's pretty like a creepy giggler and he'd be like i've written you a note don't open it till later and like slip it into their uniform and they'd forget about it and then they'd be like getting changed and it was like um thank you for the piggyback. Oh, okay. Yeah. But how are you going to run away from football players? They're speedy.

They're fast. When the police found him, he was in Walmart getting piggybacked. But he's like a big dude. I don't know if I could piggyback him. Especially a surprise one. You need to be prepared. Surprise piggybacks end in just face plants. Yeah. So many times because your knees are just like,

nope, no warning, shaboom. F-ins. Our Canadian friends are going to be trialling out something on their ciggies. You might be thinking, Vaughan, what are they trialling out, a different coloured filter? Right. Because I didn't know this, but in France, they don't always have an orange end for coloured filter. Right. Because I didn't know this,

but in France, they don't always have an orange end for a filter. In the French-speaking parts, and I know maybe it's just because the French are so good at smoking cigarettes, but they don't need a different coloured end. They know which end. The different coloured end's just so your drunk mate doesn't like the filter end, eh?

Pretty much, I think. I never thought about it. I guess so. It's 100% so you know what end to put in your mouth and what end to light. Yeah. Because the French, don't they have those real skinny ones too? And they're all white. It looks like a...

You know, it's weird. They've got a photo here of like standard Canadian cigarettes and the French part of Canada. And they are longer and a little bit skinnier. Skinnier because they look... We must have things a certain way. We must look French as we can, even though we are in Canada. So they're going to be printing individual warnings on each cigarette.

Like smoking kills. Smoking causes cancer. Smoking causes cancer. And they're giving options to the cigarette manufacturers. Being like, where do you want to put this? Do you want to put this on the filter end? The length of the cigarette? Written around the cigarette?

But if we say this is happening, you've got to do it. Because if you put it on the whole cigarette, like you smoke half, it'll just say smoking. No, smoking disappears first. Oh, does it? Cancer's literally the last word that you can get rid of. They've thought about that. Okay.

But you know this though. If you that. Okay. But you know this, though. If you're a smoker, you know this. Like, how is it going to make you quit by literally having it on your cigarette? And when it's in your mouth, it's too close to read. If you ever put something, like, right in front of your face and try to read it, yeah, it hurts your eyes to change the focus to that. You need to start thinking outside the box. Like, have every, like, hundredth surprise cigarette, like, has a little bit little bit of like gunpowder in it or something,

you know, like in fireworks. Just bang. Like a Roman candle and it shoots out a ball. Yeah. And that makes you think, God, I could have died. Or every 1,000 cigarettes has ricin in it, that stuff from Breaking Bad. Yeah.

That kills people when he puts it in their cigarette. So you're like. Maybe I've gone too far. I think so. You pick up your cigarette. You're like, well Maybe I've gone too far. I think so. You pick up your cigarette, you're like, well, this could be the one that literally kills me. Yeah, okay. And then you're like, I'd better stop.

I'd better stop smoking. Yeah, right. Yeah. But then it's kind of murderous, you know? Well, I guess it's murderous anyway, isn't it? Yes. Slow versus fast. Yeah, exactly.

We're just arguing about how quick you're getting now so they're thinking of making it compulsory the proposals for public feedback until January 4th and then they said that there's 45,000 Canadians die

to smoking related health issues every year that's a lot isn't it that's a lot of people but then where does it end there do they start putting individual warnings are dire to smoking-related health issues every year. That's a lot, isn't it? That's a lot of people. But then, like, where does it end there? Like, do they start putting individual warnings on, like, chocolates? Are you going to open up, like, little favourites? There'll be a laser-engraved obesity warning. Like, it's like, ooh.

Do you need this one? Do you need that one? Do you need another one? Oh, ouch. Like, personalised chocolates, except really degrading messages to a person who's going through a rough time binging them. Yeah, basically.

But then, like, do you remember when eggs, everyone was like, oh, you shouldn't eat more than an egg a day. Remember when, for some reason, eggs were a public enemy? Cholesterol. Yeah, it was the cholesterol and the yolks, right? Yeah. And everyone was, like, freaking out about eggs. What if they started putting warnings on every egg?

Because those eggs buzz me out. The ones that have a little mark on them were what chicken laid them. Oh yeah, and the date and stuff. Yeah, Christmas, they say Merry Christmas and stuff. Yeah, seasonal eggs. Yeah. Just put a little writing on everything. Every single thing's got a little writing on it.

That'd be great. One thing about the cigarettes, having the ink written on them though, is ink a bad thing to be smoking? I think it's on the list of what's in your cigarette. I think it's way different. Just add it. Yeah, true. They probably just use tar as ink because you're smoking that anyway.

FEM. ZM. Community pages, we deal with them often here at the show with our segment community notices. Haven't dealt with this. Thought it was worth just a bit of a chat. There's been a banning on a community page. Some of them are quite strict. Yeah, some of them

have rules. Ours has rules at the top. Just be polite and stuff. Be nice. Yeah, and no advertising because if you've got something for sale, you go to the buy, sell, swap page. Because there's the community one and then there's the people getting rid of stuff situation.

That's normally how people get banned from these pages, isn't it? Trying to sell something. That's how Sean got banned from the Torbay Facebook page. He has been putting up daily sunrise photos. Okay. He gets up early and he pops down to the picturesque Torbay. Okay. And snaps a sunrise photo, often including Rangitoto.

Okay. Auckland's harbour volcano. Do we need this every day, though? and snaps a sunrise photo, often including Rangitoto, Auckland's harbour volcano. Do we need this every day, though? I wouldn't have thought so. No, I think it's really sweet. What's wrong with it? Just scroll past it. You've seen one sunrise. You've seen them all, haven't you?

No, there are some really special ones, but there's some total dud ones. I'm imagining if it was really raining, he wouldn't have put up the photo. There's no sunrises there. No. It's like a change of light. I'm imagining if it was really raining, he wouldn't have put up the photo. There's no sunrises there. No. It's like change of light. I feel bad for him.

So he puts sunrise images. This is a quote from Sean. I post my sunrise images as a way to inspire others and to share the beauty of the area I live in. Exactly. That's sweet. Not for personal gain whatsoever.

So he got blocked for breaking the one post a week rule aimed at businesses because Sean is a photographer. He's an amateur photographer. He's been blocked for subtle advertising. Subtle advertising. He has done portrait photography in the past,

but he's never claimed professional to be a professional. He's an IT manager. Is he watermarking his sunrises with his business? The examples that I can see here, I haven't seen any watermarking. But I guess, you know what, I think it's more the fact they're probably over the pictures all the time. Two or three, four times a week. Yeah. You've seen wine.

You live in Torbay. You've seen the sunrise. No, maybe you're not. Maybe you're lazy. What's wrong with people when they are sick of seeing a sunrise from their local area? That's sad. We were in Tauranga the other day and it was a 10 out of 10. I don't know if I told you this guys

but it was a 10 out of 10 sunrise. Another 10 out of 10 sunrise. I love seeing the sunrise. It's beautiful. We're up at this time of the day five days a week. Never see it. And I don't see it. I see it when it gets to like, this time of year it gets to about seven and it reflects off the building

over the road and it blinds me for about 15 minutes. And that's what I see of the sunrise. But we're up this time of the morning but we don't get to see the sunrise. I love the sunrise. Yeah, but do you want to be having it on your Facebook feed? Oh, I'd rather that than somebody wiring on about how Countdown didn't have bread

at eight o'clock at night. Yeah, exactly. Have this up on those community pages. It's definitely better. Yeah. Or someone saying I've got this that could literally

be put in the bin. Does anybody want it? Someone's like oh yes please consider me. Consider me if it falls through. Contact me.

Alright. Calvin Harris Sam Smith who yesterday posted on his Instagram that he is in New Zealand. He did his shows this weekend in Auckland. Hooker Lodge.

Kilda. What do you reckon he was drinking? It looked like a white wine. Do you reckon he's a Chardonnay or a Sam? I hope it's a Gewurztraminer because wasn't there reports they had to throw out a whole lot of that because we're a Sav and Shardy. My mum. But, you know, Christine, she can't drink a lot of wine.

She had a couple of wines last weekend and she felt very sick. Not like hungover. She said, God, I'm not that much of a lightweight. I just got a bit of a problem with white wine at the moment. While that was playing, reminded me of seeing his post. People saying he's staying at Hooker Lodge by the Hooker Falls. Yeah. A few Ks out from Taupo.

I thought, well, I'm just going to have a gurgle. Yeah. A few k's out from Taupo. I thought, well, I'm just going to have a gurgle. Yeah. Now, as an example, put in how much it costs to say or get a place for a night. Yeah. I've gone for the weekend, a weekend in January. Just one night. Expensive time though. I might be a bit cheaper now.

The Junior Lodge suite. Yeah. That's $2,553 a night for one person in the suite. Good Lord. I don't think that he'll be staying in the Junior Lodge either. No, he'll have a fancy one. So they've got a thing on their website, a guest list. Do you want to know who stayed there?

Yeah. Yeah, go on. Huge list. The Queen stayed there. Kiwi 2 stayed there. Michael J. Fox. Billy Crystal. Joan Collins.

Tilda Swinton. Bette Mid there. Michael J. Fox. Billy Crystal. Joan Collins. Tilda Swinton. Bette Midler. Robin Williams. RIP. RIP. Jimmy Barnes. Pink Floyd. Sir Bob Charles.

He's the golfer guy, eh? Yeah. Just going down the list. Sean Fitzpatrick. John Cleese. You've got to have a couple of legendary All Blacks. Billy Connolly. Lots of royalty stayed there.

Right. That's weird that they print like that. Donald Sutherland. Keith Sutherland's dad, eh? Yeah, yep. Yeah, Sam Neill. Hell of a lot. Yeah, there's a lot.

The Spice Girls. I'm just looking at that. Boom. I'm looking at the photo of that wine. That's a very light wine. That's not a buttery shard. No. It looks like a salve.

A watery salve. Or a pinot gris. It could be. Could be a pinot gris. Well, either way, if it's $2,500 a night, it's not going to be a shit wine, is it? No. Beautiful blue background. Yeah.

The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Did I turn my mic off or did you turn it off? Probably me There may be a strike of ambulance drivers St John's ambulance drivers So they're not, because Wellington don't They've got Wellington free ambulance, don't they? They're different Some places don't have St John's

Right So this will just be where St. John's. Do they have like bagsies on the bright yellow ambulances? Or can anybody get a bright yellow ambulance? I think anyone can. I like that they're bright yellow now. I like that they're moving away from white. You can see them, can't you?

I don't know why. I just like that they're very well seen. So there may be a series of strikes in November. It was due to a lack of extra pay for when workers are rostered on for weekends and nights. Okay. The starting rate is below $20 an hour. These are people doing like vital...

Like saving our lives. Yeah, yeah. Like the most vital work in society. I'm pretty sure we can shout them over 20 bucks an hour at a starting rate. Yeah. And go up significantly from then. You've only had to have had a family member

need an ambulance to think that through. Oh, to know exactly. We all know how valuable it is. Yeah. So again, kind of with them on this one. But they've said no one's lives are going to be at risk. I don't know how that's going to work. Well, maybe they'll still have like skeleton staff. Minimal staff.

Enough staff to cover a shift. Like the driver, but you'll be back there by yourself. You'll be like, I'm bleeding. Yep. Gauze is up there. No, no, to the left, to the left. Oh, sorry. I'm looking in the rear view mirror.

To the right, to the right. Yep. I'll walk you through how to give yourself a stitch. Oh, God. So the top six ways to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike is today's top six. Number six, the rubbish truck. Let's just hope it's a Friday or a Monday

or whatever day they do the rubbish in your area. You can put someone in the back. Just don't press the squirgy button. Do not press the button. And don't push, don't chuck more rubbish in on top of them. Yeah. But I've always thought it would be a good way to get rid of, like,

dead people. Like, not in the rubbish truck, but there is, like, a dead person rubbish truck. Oh, right, yeah. I think funerals and stuff would cost way too much. Like, they're dead to me.

And I'm not there for it. Nah, neither, so don't spend my money. Don't worry about it. Like, go on a holiday instead. Just put me in a rubbish truck and go on holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bourne Smith. Literally, like, there's a wheelie. Just put me in a rubbish truck and go on holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bourne Smith. Literally, like, there's a wheelie bin. There's the recycling one, the rubbish one. Some have garden waste. Yeah. And then beside that, the really used red dead bin. Where when you're dead, it's the red one, and the special truck comes down and just...

At least it wouldn't wake anybody up. Like, the bloody recycling truck. All that glass. It would just be a thud. A dull thud. But anyway, they could take you to the hospital too. Yeah, okay. The rubbish truck.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike are sled dogs. But given that most of us don't have huskies or marmalades, dogs, Alaskan marmalades, you'll probably just have to use your poodle cross, the shih tzu from next door and a skateboard. You'll get there eventually. Yeah, I sure, you'll have a few more cuts and bruises. Maybe, maybe. Extra incentive to hold on.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike, an army of drones. Just tie the drones together. I don't know how many drones you'd need to hold on. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike, an army of drones. Just tie the drones together. I don't know how many drones you'd need to lift you. Imagine if that's the future. Drone ambulances or drone stretches.

It totally could be because there's drones that do like weed spraying now. My brother-in-law works in market gardening and he was telling me there's like, and they've got a drone now

that can carry 90 litres of spray. So that's 90 kgs. It's insane. If the drone turns up and it's like, actually, no, we should have got the bigger one for you. Should have sent the 30 drone. Yeah. I'm like, ouch.

I'll be back with reinforcements. Or you're clutching your heart or your broken arm and it's like struggling to take off. And then a big gust of wind comes in. It's like... Flips over. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike are a supermarket trolley.

There's always one of those around, even if you live miles away from the supermarket. Yeah, true. I see one on my street. I'm like, how did you get here, little fella? Are you lost? How did someone literally walk you this far away with her in the supermarket without someone saying something?

And then you feel obligated to get it back. It's always right beside the bus stop at my house too. It's like wheeling it to the bus. Yeah, because you carry your bags to the bus stop and then take them out of the trolley and get on the bus. No, the bus at my house is the wrong way from the supermarket. Oh, weird. Unless they take the trolley and get on the bus? No, the bus at my house is the wrong way from the supermarket. Oh, weird.

Unless they take the trolley on the bus. Maybe someone's using it as a wheelchair. Perhaps. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get to hospital

if there's an ambulance to strike Auckland and Christchurch only, lime scooters. Good idea. Scans one lock. Way you go. Well, you and Caitlin

doubled and that was fine that was absolutely fine yeah I went on one in the wet yesterday sketchy like granted I was also

on jandals but sketchy yeah right like I think we're gonna get if they survive this trial period the lime scooter

we're gonna get overly confident over the dry summer months and then it's gonna get to like winter and it's not only going to be wet, but you know how concrete's a little grimy? Yep. And we're all going to be on our

ass a lot more on those things. And the number one way to get to hospital if there's an ambulance strike, I mean it's more or less an ambulance with ice cream in it. Mr. Whippy. And instead of wee-oo, wee-oo, Yes. That is today's top six. Megan, if you could for me now, can you just quickly Google the weight of the All Blacks? Like collective? No, no.

Like if there's any individual weights. If you go to the All Blacks, I think all their player profiles. Yeah, it has their weight and stuff. Oh my God. I hate that. Could you imagine if that was like... They're all like ripped. I remember when Sonny Bill...

I think Sonny Bill's a little bit taller than me, but like significantly heavier, but ripped. It's because if you like touch them, it'd be like, No, that's actually just the noise I make when I get touched. I go... Well, the reason I want you to have a look at that is I want to tell you about a nine-year-old who is a big unit. So big that he's one of those kids that parents after the game of league or rugby or whatever he's playing, it's just like that kid should not be playing here. But it's not his fault.

He's a nine-year-old. He is 170 centimetres tall. So how tall are you, Megan? 165. So a nine-year-old is nine and he's taller than Megan. Wow. Okay. And he weighs 110 kilograms.

Wow. And in the story where I was reading about him is that he's heavier than a Warriors prop. There's someone that plays for the Warriors in the front row. Who's lighter. Who's lighter. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Because I remember when you'd play like midget rugby or school rugby, and there would be some guys that were huge. Yeah. Like, you know, when you were like really young and playing primary school rugby. Yeah. The early growers. The early growers. But then it was weird because they were and playing primary school rugby. Yeah. The early growers. The early growers. But then it was weird because they were the ones that always stopped.

Yeah. In high school. And then everyone got bigger than them. They grew through to about second year high school. But that's when everybody else kicked in and started shooting up. And most people ended up taller than them. How heavy is he again? 110 kilograms.

Kieran Reid's 111. What? He is a unit. And Kieran Reid is a fridge of a man. He's tall as well. He's heavier than Bowdoin Barrett. Bowdoin's 91. Wow.

Jeez. So you can see why, but you could see why these parents wouldn't want their little Timmy. That's like Kieran Reid tackling little Timmy. That's like little Timmy's going along, you know, because he's nine and he's little and slight. But it's not being tackled by this guy that would, like from my memory of playing rugby with the big guys at primary school,

it's stopping them. Because. Well, round the legs, mate. Round the legs. He'll go down. Round the legs. Because they are. How do they fall?

Hit them on the knees. I think that you want, like, if you're a little kid, you're eight or nine and 110kg is falling on you. I'd jump on his back and run him like a bull. I wouldn't care if he'd score any tries. He plays for the Otahuhu Leopards. Yeah. And he said, I think in my first game I scored like three or four tries.

Of course he did. He says, no, he's got the ball. Leave him be. No, he would be, and as a my team, I'd be like, get it to him. Yeah, exactly. So it's not really fair that, like, he should be able to play, but can he play in, like, a higher grade or something? But then is it fair for him that he's playing with 15-year-olds?

Because he's so much bigger and better. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, he should play in a higher grade maybe. Well, there was, when we were at intermediate, so older, what are you in your intermediate? 12, 13, 11, 12, 13? 11, 12. So he's not that old yet. He's 9.

The weight limit for the rugby, the shield that they used to play for was 50 kgs. You had to be under 50 kgs to play in that, otherwise you were considered too big and you had to play by weight. Isn't there like, when you're an adult, there's an under, is it under 85? Under 85, yeah. There's under 85s, then after that you're open.

So there's an adult. He has to play in the open if he wanted to play. But there's adult rugby that's under 85 kg. Well, Clint from Breein Clint, he's a big unit. He was playing under 85 kg rugby. But he had to struggle to stay under 85. He had to really exercise to stay at that weight. But he's like six foot three.

I know, crazy, eh? Wow. So this kid is it. So I feel for the kid because nobody should be having a girl at home. And that's what exactly. No, and he should be allowed to play, especially if he's good.

But like, I understand both sides. I'm glad I know. I would not want him playing with my child. Sorry, mate. I'm all for you playing rugby. There's someone else, though. What was the fictitious name we gave your child? Sebastian?

No, it started with L. Laquisha? No, it wasn't Laquisha. It was a very posh name. I just can't imagine any child of yours playing rugby. I can't imagine any of us having children. Mostly because I don't want to do anything on Saturday mornings, though. True, true.

Yeah. I mean, that makes me a bad parent. That's sleep-ins. That's marmalade on toast morning. I'm not leaving the house. Last night, because I've got two daughters, one's school age and one's not yet at school, and Indy was doing her homework.

And when Indy's doing her homework, August wants to watch television, but of course you can't have TV on, distracting, hard to do homework. Yeah, right. So I've always got to find something to distract her with. And last night I said, what about we do some drawing? And she said, well, I can already draw people.

I was like, oh, done then. What more do I need? She said, I can draw a bird, I can draw a house. I can't draw a bee. I said, well, let's go and draw a bee. I don't know what made her think of a bee. Bees are easy. Three circles.

Yeah, I know. And then some wings. Or is that one of the same? No, it's one big circle, two little circles. You've got to do the bee anatomically correct. It's got to have like a thorax and stuff. Right, sorry. So I said, all right, let's go and draw a B.

She's like, do you know how? I was like, no, but I'm sure it's on YouTube. So I Googled how to draw on YouTube. I Googled, I searched on YouTube how to draw. And then the first automatic fill-in was Moana. I said, oh, look at that. That says how to draw Moana. So the B got put to the side and we were going to learn how to draw Moana.

Okay. So we sat down. Have you ever watched a how-to draw? No. So this thing had like 600,000 views. Jeez, okay. So this person who's pretty good at drawing, but not like one of the great artists of our time,

is making, no, no, I'm not. So I'm, no, Vincent Van Gogh. Yeah. Right. I mean, I don't get into Van Gogh personally, but people do, right? Yeah. You know, is making bank of YouTube tutorials on how to draw. This person had hundreds of how to draw tutorials.

Right. All like kids characters. Yeah. So we sat down and I was automatically engaged as someone who is a terrible drawer. Is drawer the right term? Illustrator? Illustrator, yeah, illustrator.

But I saw you. I've never been able to draw. I saw the finished product on an Instagram story and I thought, you've done really well there. Did you trace it? That's what Sade said. She said, you traced that. I said, how do I trace off YouTube?

Well, you just pause the screen, put the paper on and trace it. But it was on my phone. It would have been tiny. Oh, you're true. Look, this is how good it was. Because I'm terrible, so I've never think, how do you draw a face? Where do you start? Well, I just go the head first.

You draw the head. See, I've always started with the eyes. I'd start with the nose. Why would you start with the eyes? Because then you can draw the head around the eyes. No, there's extra pressure to draw the head extra good and centre. Yeah. Well, no, that's why I draw the nose first because it is the centre.

Everything else you can place around it. The nose is the last thing I draw in these tutorials. Oh, God. You draw everything else before this. What was the first thing on the... Like where your sideburns are. Oh, yeah. Like that part of your face.

What is this, Megan? You know face bits. Side of the face. Like in front of the ear. Like your cheekbones. Yeah, yeah, just behind You know face. Side of the face. Like in front of the ear. Like your cheekbones. Yeah, yeah. Just behind the cheekbones. Right.

And that was the part. And then you draw there. And then you pick a centre bit where the chin's going to go. And you work towards that. Amazing. Amazing. I'm going to do some more this weekend. So I started drawing Moana.

And August was like, I'll be back in a minute. Yeah. She never came back. I'm bored of this. She's got you worked out, eh? To be fair, there was a nice way she could have said, I'm bored. I'm out. I'm back. I'm bored of this. She's got you worked out, eh? To be fair, there was a nice way she could have said, I'm bored, I'm out. I'm bored, I'm out. No, she's like, I'll be back in a minute.

Didn't come back. Yeah. And then I went out into the lounge and I was like, look what I've done. And everyone was like, how'd you do that? I was like, I did a YouTube tutorial. And then he's like, that's awesome, Dad. Well done. I was like, thanks.

And then she said, can you draw an LOL doll? Which are these little classic dolls. I was like, I can try. And then all of a sudden I was like, thanks. And then she said, can you draw an LOL doll? Which are these little classic dolls. I was like, I can try. And then all of a sudden I was doing the homework. They were the parent giving me menial tasks

to pass time till bedtime. I was like, go do an LOL doll, Dad. I was like, all right, I'll be back in a minute.

Did you ever think that maybe you're the annoying one and they're like, I don't like my dad. So then I drew an LOL doll and I came out and they were like, you've watching pretty much yeah so then i drew an lol doll and i came out and they were like you've done really well i was like thanks guys and it was like i learned a new skill

to impress i'm far from perfect i've got a lot of work to do okay uh but um i've learned a new skill to impress my children yeah when i was august Yeah, kind of. Yeah, played it cool, but pretty impressed. She's like, that's pretty cool. Yeah. That's all right. She's going to keep me grounded. Yeah, the head shape needs work. I know, yes. I know, I know, I know.

For a baby Moana, it needed a rounder head. But it got me thinking, my dad kind of got into making these extravagant birthday cakes because he loves working with his hands. Like he's been a builder and stuff. And when we were kids, yeah, he started getting into making us quite nice birthday cakes and then did like a cake decorating course.

So cute. And it was all just to impress you kids on your birthday. For a start, it feels like it was totally just to make sure we had cool birthday cakes. Aww. So I was wondering, on the back of my terrible Moana drawings and my dad's fantastic cake, still makes a great cake. Yeah, still does. What did your parents learn to impress you?

I can't, I don't know. Maybe they did learn something, but I'm not aware of it. In the modern age, you can learn anything on YouTube. Oh yeah, just Google it. Anything. My mum was one of those mums that made all our clothes. Like, she learnt to sew, except it didn't impress me because they weren't very nice.

Because they weren't the labels, eh? You know, she wore, like, graffiti fabric and made me a jersey, and I was like, oh, I have to wear this now. My nana made me a polar fleece out of some, like, camo material, and it was, like, easily the coolest piece of clothing I owned for ages. Like people at Intermediate were like, where'd you get it? What brand is it? I'd be like, oh, I don't know.

You probably haven't heard of it. It's like Rita. God, could you imagine growing up in the country schools? Yeah. Where people were easily impressed by a polar fleece. Well, everyone had polar fleece, but no one was rocking straight camo. That would never have flown in City Born. I'm sorry, but it would not. Rita would not have gone down well at the... Well, maybe she polar fleece, but no one was rocking straight camera. That would never have flown in City Born. I'm sorry, but that would not.

Rita would not have gone down well at the. Well, maybe she would have adapted. For the what? Urban wear. She would have adapted to urban wear. Yeah, right. Okay. All right.

Well, 0800DARLS.M. You can text as well, 9696. What did your parents learn to impress you? We're talking about what you, maybe if you're a parent, what you learned to impress your children, but maybe as we all have parents, what your parents learned to impress you when you were a kid? Yeah, you're doing drawing. I'm doing drawing. You're learning drawing.

And it's kind of cool because I'm amongst the world's worst drawers. Like, I see animation and I'm just like, where did they even start to think about how to do that? It's one thing I can't understand. Your dad did the cakes, learnt cake making. Yep, he did it. And that really impressed us. There's a photo of my mum and dad's house of all of our cakes when we were kids that we took because we were so stoked to have them.

What did he make, like caterpillars? About a month out. He'd say, what do you want? My favourite one was he made me, when I was a kid and really liked watching rugby league, he made me, it was the shape of a rugby league ball, but it had a rugby league field on it. And it had goalposts. And my favourite league team had bought the thing.

That's pretty cute. And it was on there. That was before you could print out icing with the printer. That was cheating. He was ahead of his time. That was cheating. Shev, what did your parents learn to impress you? Hi, my parents learned to skateboard.

What? Mum and dad. It was my dad and my stepmum. And I was a teenage girl. I was about 15. And they were trying to force me to do it. But I'd rather go hang out with my friends and go to the mall and stuff.

And they'd always force me, come and learn, it'll be so fun for you. And did you end up learning? No, I refused. That was not cool for me. But did they stick with it? Yeah, we got a half pipe in our backyard.

We had little quarter pipes and they would go hard and I'd have my friends come over and they'd think they're so cool. I was going to say they sound so cool. If I went to my friends' place and their parents were on a half pipe, I'd just be like,

you've got the coldest parents in the world. But you were just like, I'm not having a bar of this. Were they good, though? Or were they average? Yeah, they were okay. Like, they would try and do tricks all the time. But they'll have, like, the whole safety gear, the knee pads and the helmet, the auto pads.

But that's the thing. They are older. And when you're four, when you're older, you don't bounce like you do when you're a kid. Yeah, no, that's true. You've got to be careful. She thanks you. Call Kelsey.

What did your dad learn to impress you? So I did Irish dancing for like 10 years. Okay. And during that, my dad went along to an adult class. And he did it probably for like four years. So he learned how to do Irish dancing. Lisa sweetheart! Did you find that sweet or were you like

Dad, this is embarrassing? Um, I mean probably when I was younger I was a bit like, oh my god is he going to embarrass me? But he did really well and it was really cute. He used to come home and then, like, show me what he learned.

Oh, my God. That is so cute. You're melting hearts. That is the cutest. And then did he just give it? And my mum couldn't dance, no way. Yeah. But she used to make all my costumes for it.

Oh, it's a real family affair Irish dancing always is Yeah Irish dancing, if people stick to it, it's a real family affair Great, Kelsey, thanks Dad just wanted to spend some time with it Thanks, you're cool, Kelsey I want to cry

You're glassy-eyed I'm a little glassy-eyed My mum learnt to roller skate to impress us Okay Until she fell on her bum and broke her coccyx Is that the tailbone? Yeah, it might be the fancy way of the tailbone. Oh, that hurts.

My mum learnt to make piñatas. She took three days diligently learning how to make a piñata. It was beautiful and then it was destroyed in ten minutes. How do you think you spell coccyx? C-O-C-C-Y-X. Yeah, but you just googled that too, didn't you? I would have thought C-O-X-I-C-Y-X. Yeah, but you just Googled that too, didn't you?

I would have thought C-O-X-I-C-Y-X. Yeah, same, but it's not. It is your tailbone. Yeah. Oh, God. My mum learned Snapchat to impress us. We continue to be very impressed. She even knows how to do a video now.

Is she just like following you? I was going to say she's just using Snap Maps to find out where you kids are. I'm a parent. I learned how to play Minecraft to impress my son. However, fell into the dark hole of Minecraft addiction myself. And now I've got my own account and everything. It's all go. Now we're more challenging each other on Minecraft.

My mum learnt to cut hair to impress us. Still not impressed. Fake. You're like, please, I don't need a mum haircut. She didn't learn how to cut hair to impress you. She learnt how to cut hair to save us. Still not impressed. Fake. You're like, please, I don't need a mum here. She didn't learn how to cut hair to impress you. She learned

how to cut hair to save money. That's what mum was doing there. I learned the floss and hype dance from Fortnite to impress my son.

It seems to have had the opposite effect. That's my love. I love seeing the videos online of parents doing the floss. Yeah. Because Indy's

tried to teach both of her grandmothers, my mum and Sade's mum, to do the floss. And it is pretty amusing to watch a 60-year-old white woman. Yeah, doing the floss. Especially, my mum's had a hip replacement. She shouldn't be doing the floss. No. And this one's so cool.

My blind dad learnt to play Wii Tennis so he could play with us on the Nintendo Wii. By sound? Because you can hear. Well, you'd just hear the ball goes and you'd just swing and time it, wouldn't you? But then you'd have to swing to the right or the left. Well, I'm sure he misses a couple. But he would have heightened senses.

He probably, the sound probably. Maybe there is a sound setting that would like pan it left and right so they could play. But wanted to play with the kids so I learned to play. There you go. Parents still want to impress their kids at the end of the day.

When you brush your teeth also you should brush your teeth for two happy birthdays at least. Do you do that? I said happy birthday twice. Well no because I've got an electric toothbrush

and it does 30 seconds for each quarter. Oh okay that's good. So I start brushing my teeth and then I start walking around the house and 25 minutes later I realise I've still got a mouth on my toothpaste.

So I should be sweet. You're fine. Yeah, I just think happy birthday in my head twice. Do you, when you brush your teeth, do you brush your tongue? Yes. If I remember. Oh, actually, no, I do with not my electric toothbrush because it's weird. But if I'm using, sometimes I just, in the middle of the day,

I'll use my normal toothbrush because I'm lazy. Just for a quick brush after lunch. Then I'll do my tongue. Do you brush after every meal? No, just at lunch. Morning, lunch and night. But then that would be after every meal. I brush my teeth every time I leave the house.

Are you serious? Yeah. But then they say you shouldn't brush too much because then you get like recessed gums. Oh, yeah, that's what I've got. So maybe it's not the best. No one knows. They say you shouldn't use a hard toothbrush but God I love a hard toothbrush.

I get very excited if in the supermarket you see hard because it's all soft. I go medium. There's a reason I'm asking this because it's been revealed that the key to a long life could be as simple as tongue scraping.

So I guess brushing your tongue would be a similar deal. There is a doctor who has advised that tongue scraping allows good bacteria to flourish on your tongue. Right. And the key to like a long and healthy life is having balanced bacteria in your mouth. Maybe that's why you look so youthful, Fletch. Mouthwashing. Yeah.

Does that get rid of the... What's the 401 on mouthwashing? Because I love a bit of mouthwash. But then we always argue about when I should mouthwash because I mouthwash pre-brush. Oh, no. We've had this argument so many times. You move around the bacteria and you wash it out afterwards.

Everyone knows you mouthwash after you brush. Yeah, it's like a rake. It's not even an argument form. No, you're just doing it wrong. I thought it was like washing the dishes before you, giving them a rinse before you put them in the dishwasher. No, no. No.

Absolutely not. And wouldn't the mouthwash, it could potentially kill good bacteria, right? Well, that's why there's that whole buzz about kombucha and bacteria and stuff in the gut. No, please continue. I want to hear Vaughn. Oh, he loves it. He loves the gut. No, please continue. I want to hear Vaughan. Oh, he loves it. He loves the bacteria chat.

Absolutely. No scientific. And it's the same reason that people are taking poo capsules for bacteria. There's all this buzz about good and bad bacteria at the moment. Yeah, sure. Yeah, and how it can help your stomach. So it's the same for your mouth, but that could actually help your skin,

make you look a lot younger. Scraping the tongue. Yeah, the balance of bacteria. A lot of toothbrushes have the little bit on the back. Yeah. Just flip it over and just brush your tongue. But then it always makes me go. Yeah, I know.

Front's okay, feels a bit funny. And then you go back and you're like. Maybe don't push it back and gag so much. My father-in-law wants just like a shallow. Yeah. Well, you'd know. So my father-in-law won't stop brushing his teeth till he gags. It's horrible.

That's how he knows he's done enough of the tongue. But surely if you do it every day, you'd get used to it. No, his gag reflex is as tight as ever. Honestly, when he comes and says it, it's like. What's he doing? And you just hear him in the bathroom. Like that. Does that gag cough.

And he's like... Done. Lots of people using Tinder and Bumble and dating apps these days to meet people. And everyone says it's hard because there's like duck boys and you get DPs and stuff. And then you have to have constant like small talk with strangers. I couldn't handle that. Like meeting a new person and being like hi, what do you do?

Okay. So someone has thought about looking back to 1958 specifically there was an edition of an American magazine McCall's. I think that's a sewing of an American magazine, McCall's. I think, is that, that's a sewing magazine, isn't it? McCall's, I think it's. Really?

McCall's. Maybe. Huh. And so they had advice on how. McCall's Patterns, the McCall pattern company. Oh. Founded in 1870. Light reading in between.

In between your patterns. In between doing your dressmaking. So in 1958, they had advice on how to find a husband. Okay. Some of these are unconventional. Okay. But some of these could be good advice. So they've titled it, Where to Find Him.

First of all, they've said, get a dog and walk it. Not bad. That's what Caitlin does. Caitlin, you knew that you were walking dogs yesterday. Did you find any hot men? No, this is what I do. The only reason why I walk my friend's dog is to find a husband because she's so cute.

She's the type of dog that guys would like too. Maybe not Leo so much. You know, they like bigger dogs. Is it presumptuous to say guys like a bigger dog? I'll talk to a bigger dog before I talk to a smaller dog. Yeah, I'd talk to a husky before I talk to your weird-looking dog. Yeah, see? But when's the last time a guy was like, oh, I love your dog?

Like, what's your name? I don't think it's ever happened. I know. Okay, we'll keep going on the list. Maybe this list can help. Okay. Have your car break down At strategic places

It doesn't say Where these strategic places Have your car break down At strategic places How do you do Just like Park somewhere And lift the bonnet up

And then just Take to it with some scissors Like the wires Just start cutting wires Or just take Like one of the wires Off your battery Yeah

Well that happens to you a lot I always break down Out of petrol I never find a husband Yeah. Well, that happens to you a lot. I always break down. Run out of petrol. I never find a husband. Yeah, but you're not breaking down at the right places, like outside the rugby training. I couldn't help where double Ds hit me. Oh, outside the rugby training.

Yeah. See what I'm... Yep. Yep. Where else? I was thinking outside the factory at closing time. We're in the 1950s. Attend a night school.

Take courses men like. Yeah, automotive engineering for beginners. Okay, sure. But then you can fix your own car when it breaks down outside the factory. Yeah, true, true. Remember, this is advice from 1958 on how to get a husband. Join a hiking club. Oh, no.

Do you not care when you're hiking? It's the equivalent of that these days. What about when we went hiking? Tramping. You saw some hot guys. Yeah, no. Do you know what's the equivalent of that these days? What about when we went hiking? Tramping. You saw some hot guys when we went hiking. Yeah, I know that.

One of them, two of them were in the bloody pit. Oh, three of them, James was there too. Three of them were walking with you. No.

The trouble is if you find them in a hiking club, then they're going to want to go hiking all the time. You're like, I actually don't,

I'm not into this. Like I do it once or twice a year. Yeah, not all the time. No. This is really intense. Look in the census reports for places with the most single men. Are you kidding?

Oh my god. What? What? This is legit advice from 1958. But it would be way easier now if you could get the census online because you might be able to organise by like marital status. So it'll put all the married guys at the bottom

and all the people who listed themselves as single will be at the top. But I don't know just how you get a hold of the census. I mean, worst case scenario. Let's try that in a couple of years. Yeah, I think you're definitely not there yet. Sit on a park bench and feed some pigeons. Oh! Nah, see, that's gone from something people need to pass the time

to something people do If they're not quite there Right Yeah yeah If I saw you Sitting feeding pigeons Caitlin I'd think

Oh they've let her out For a lunch Yeah Yeah Take a bicycle trip Through Europe I mean Well that would be nice

Wouldn't it Okay Sure I'd just replace that With the modern day Taku Kunteki I think Yeah Yeah

And this is my favourite Read the obituaries to find out the eligible widowers. Oh my God. This is legit advice from 1958. This was,

yeah, this was 58. This is where women were dying during childbirth though. Yeah. people still were dying. So,

like, that's actually really horrible to me. That's a bit intense. But the modern day would just be like finding people that are single on Facebook or just get on Tinder really. Yeah, just see if

who's broken up with their spouse and then just be like, I'm here to comfort you. But that's like preying on the vulnerable. Have we got today's Herald? Like, who's in there today? Wow. Beryl's passed away and Arthur's looking To spend his last couple

Of years with somebody You could take him Out of Munns menswear And get him a new suit No Now it was last year Yeah That we discussed this

It's an issue Every year in New Zealand And we said at the time Let's put a little Warning out there And we were reminded By somebody listening That today was the day

because apparently they put it in the calendar, in their calendar when I said, I say these sorts of things all the time. Write this down or let's do that with no intention to follow through on it. Somebody let us know. This was us talking on the show, what, a year ago? Yeah, about, well, almost a year ago.

Okay. It was very close to Christmas. It was just before we finished, I think. And it was about the fan apocalypse. Fan-pocalypse. The complete shortage in retail outlets of fans. Which happens every summer. Every year it happens.

We're like, oh, we should have got a fan earlier. And this is what we were talking about. Apparently, because I had a few messages yesterday. People saying, I hear you're the guy that knows where the fans are. Yeah. And I said, it was a Mitre 10, and somebody said, I've just been there, there's nothing left for under $300. So unless you're going to drop $300 on one of those nice fans.

Yeah, right. You know what? Set a reminder. Can one of the producers set a reminder for, what do you reckon about October 24th? That will be Labor Weekend. Let's go the week. Let's go first weekend of November.

First, maybe Friday of November. The last month of spring. That's a hot play. Hot play from you. Because by that time, I feel all the fans will be in store. Yeah. For the summer. Wow.

Here we are, and it's the second of November. Spooky. The first Friday of November. Spooky. And the last month of spring. Spooky. The first Friday in November. Spooky. And the last month is spring. That's so weird. So this weekend. Thank you to the multiple people that reminded us of this day. Go and buy a fan.

Are they actually in stores yet? I don't feel like we're there yet. Oh, one hundy. Oh, okay. My supermarket's got them. Oh, okay. He probably remembers last year when it was all crazy and ordered a few extras. And, you know, because sometimes summer's a bit of a, okay. It probably remembers last year when it was all crazy and ordered a few extras. And, you know, because sometimes summer's a bit of a dudder, a bit of a dud, but a story out just last night that November is going to be a scorcher.

They reckon the first three weeks of November, some places could hit 30 degrees on some days. So you're going to need them now? You might need them soon, yeah, definitely. I'd say so. And definitely before that kind of Jan period when everyone's back from holidays and it's scorching in your house. My question is, we all bought fans last year.

What happened to those fans? That always blows my mind, though. Yeah, I don't know. We're like, oh, no, we don't need this anymore. People move and they leave a fan behind. I don't know. Or you bought a cheap one and the legs on it broke, so you're like, I'll just get one again next year and you chuck it out.

Or you put a pencil in to see what would happen. I've done that before. And then it goes. Friday Flashback. Friday Flashback. It's Megan's pick. There's no reason for this other than I like it. It's from 2004.

It did go to number one in New Zealand, in the Netherlands, in UK, the rock and metal charts only. Okay. In Germany, you can never trust the German charts though. A little bit weird. They love some weird stuff. And number one in Finland,

which is their home city. Country. What is it? Finland. Country. It is a country, yeah. Home country. Yeah. There was feathers involved, which I never really understood. In the music video? The lead singer liked to wear feathers.

Okay. Very odd. This is one of my mum's favourite songs too, I think, because she likes anything that goes, any bit that she can sing along to right right with the

da da la la la yeah right so you'll understand now why she likes it yeah

first song as well that was number one to incorporate a building evacuation alarm which was nice always good the rest in the shadows Megan's Friday Flashback yay on ZM which was nice. Always good. The rest is.

In the shadows, Megan's Friday flashback. Yay! On to them. On to them. No sleep, no sleep until I'm done with finding the answer Won't stop, won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected Somehow, I know that I'm haunted to be wanted I've been watching, I've been waiting, in the shadows of my time I've been searching, I've been living For tomorrow all my life

In the shadows In the shadows Oh, no Oh, no In the shadows Are we there? ZM, Friday flashback, The Rasmus, In the Shadows, Megan's pick. Just quickly, some feedback, Vaughn. My feedback is write one decent song in 2004 and in 2018 you can be married to a Finnish supermodel.

Oh, he looks better too. He's had a haircut. He does look a little. He's grown into his features. He's batting though, isn't he? He's batting. We can all agree on that. She's like, I'm thinking about leaving you.

He's like, ooh, ooh. All right. We're going anywhere then. Feedback, best flashback Friday ever. Singing at the top of my lungs in West Auckland traffic. I work at a funeral home.

So that's actually like, that was quite gothic at the time, wasn't it? Yeah. It was like Finland's answer to Evanescence. I still remember the words. Megan, you've redeemed yourself.

I didn't realise I had to. What did I do that was bad? I don't know. I don't know. Someone said it's so funny how a song you haven't heard for 10 years, the words can come straight back to you on days when I can't even remember my own name most days. Music, eh?

The power of music. Yeah, the power of music. You know, overall, pretty good. Pretty good? Pretty good feedback. NIWA, the National Institute of Weather and Stuff. And also the sound of that Rasmus song. NIWA, NIWA.

Have said that the next three months in New Zealand are likely to be warmer than average and it will start with temperatures next week that could hit 30 degrees or higher in some parts of the country. So we'll start next week and go for three months? Yeah, in the next 10 days. And this is also a great long-term, I don't want to jinx it,

but long-term for Friday Jams Live. That would cover that. Sorry, I was just looking for wood to knock on it because I feel like you've jinxed it. In the next 10 days, you can expect warmer than average temperatures and that'll be the first round of warmer temperatures. Yeah, with three months, they reckon the summer's going to be really good.

But it's also looking like rainfall's going to be below average. Which is bad for farmers, but good for beachgoers. Although it will be a little bit windier than usual. So it might be a windy hot summer. Okay. Which I don't mind because I'd rather have a windy hot summer than a rainy hot summer.

Oh, I'd prefer a hotter stiller summer. It got us talking about, though, the need for friends with boats and beach houses. And the fact that we don't really have any friends with boats and beach houses. So let's be friends on the proviso that you have a beach house and or a boat. I don't care for boats that much, So let's be friends. On the proviso that you have a beach house. And or a boat.

I don't care for boats that much, but it does make me happy to see people having fun on a boat. And Ternania. Oh, yes. Still have not been invited to the family Waiheke batch. Sorry? The where? The who?

Yeah, exactly. Look, guys, one day when the stars align, it might happen. What do we have to do? I don't understand. Just a lot of presents, money. You always say that there's not enough room for everyone to go at once. And I said, well, you're the intern. You don't have to come.

Just give us the key and give us the address. We'll more than happily clean up after ourselves. Yeah, yeah, we'll clean up. We'll leave a bottle of Pinot Grisier for your mother. Thank you very much. But aside from internania, we're out for friends with like lake houses, beach houses, boats,

biscuits. You know, like one of those, I want a friend with one of those banana biscuits that you hang on to. The banana boats that you go behind the boat on. They try to float you off. Yeah, and I'm hanging on and I'm having the time of my life in summer. Yeah, all fun and games

and Uncle Roger puts you too close to the marshes and you flip off into a toy toy bush. You'd be no good though because if you have to put forward for petrol for the boat, you're like, no, I just want to ride on the banana. I'd do that.

So you won't put in for petrol to go to the airport, but you'll... Might do that. Unlucky to do that. So we're wondering if anybody else just has seasonal friends. Just friends that they don't maybe... I think we're more likely to hear

from people who have the lake houses and the family batches that suddenly acquire friends. The weather starts getting nice and their friends are like, oh hey, just come out of hibernation. Or those people that might have like a house in Ulwakuni or something and then all of a sudden you've got winter friends. Yeah.

Because they want to use your place. Yeah, the old family Wanaka house that grandma left you. All of a sudden your friends start rolling in when it's the first snowfall. Are people that transparent with their friendships? I don't know. Yes. Well, rich people need friends too. Nah, they've got money.

They don't need friends. Yeah, right. Okay. They've got other rich friends. Right. Will we also be taking applications for people that will lend us their summer beach houses? Yes. nah they got money they're new friends yeah right okay they've got other rich friends right will we also be taking applications for people that will lend us

their summer beach house yes what if you had a beach house but then your friends got a new friend with a better beach house and all of a sudden you didn't have

the currency anymore the seasonal currency how dare you so rude I don't know if anyone has friends that are that brash

or that rude to only be friends in summer. And admit that you do that. Yeah. Oh, 800 dials at M. Talking seasonal friends, those friends that you only have during the seasons, maybe because they've got a beach house. Maybe because they're only fun in summer.

I don't know. Or maybe they're your snowboarding friend. I don't know. And we got out our tiny violins and said, we don't have any. Thank you for all your wonderful offers. Of the beach houses. They're not serious though.

Those are like, oh, we should go for coffee. Oh, a lot of people are just like, it's the family beach house. It just sits empty a lot of the time. What? I don't think if people could have seen that time. Was it your wife's birthday where we had that why hecky Airbnb? Oh, yeah. That got trashed, didn't it? Well, that's not a good advertisement.

No, it wasn't too bad, was it? The spa pool in the morning was half empty. Oh, yeah, that's because we were doing bombs. That's because we all jumped in. That'll happen. You don't tell me about that either because it's not a good advertisement. Don't Airbnb refuse. I'm just saying I wouldn't trust us.

Don't shame us. Some text messages in on when you've had seasonal friends. Yeah. These people that are only good to us, only good to you in winter. Somebody said, we've got a family home in Wanaka. It's been in the family for a very long time.

The minute, literally, the first snowfall happens, we start getting texts asking how we are and how we've been. At least do a maintenance text mid-summer. House a family, great. Because Wanaka's beautiful in summer too. You shouldn't be discounting Wanaka for a summer spot to stay in their house as well. Schedule a calendar reminder now for March. How are you going?

Yeah. And then when you hit them in June with the first snowfall, it's not going to be out of the blue. Because remember that time you text them in summer and you didn't want the house? Exactly. You're welcome. That's so seeing through that. Tips for seasonal maintenance and friendship.

Just tip, tip. Just keep in touch. Sophie, you've got a seasonal friend? Well, actually, I've got my fiancé. Oh, but he's all year round. He's all year round. He says to me all the time, he's like, oh, I'm only marrying you because your dad and mum have a batch and a boat.

So your marriage will be happier in the summer months, one would imagine. Yeah. And he even, well, he uses it in winter too, because he's like, oh, it's a winter getaway. Okay. Well, that's good you've locked him in. He's not going anywhere. A winter getaway with you or by himself? Oh, no, no you've locked him in. He's not going anywhere. Wait, a winter getaway with you or by himself? Oh, no, no, with me.

But sometimes I think he'd quite happily take it with his boymates as well. Well, I hope you've got that locked up tight in a family trust. Because if he's your fiancé and you've been living with him for two years, he's going to want his gritty little mitts on some part of that. Oh, he's open about it. Like, he says it to my dad and mum all the time. He's like, I'm only marrying her because of the batch in the boat. If I was a dad, I'd

put them both on the market just to test them. He's even made the comment about like, oh, you know, now that, you know, because I've got another brother overseas that's married, he's like, oh, now he's coming home, you're going to need like another house or you need bigger boats, Steve.

He's cheeky, isn't he? Brazen. Cheeky monkey. Very cheeky. Thanks for your boat, Steve. He's cheeky, isn't he? Brazen. What a cheeky monkey. Very cheeky. Thanks for your call, Sophie. Nisha. Hey. Your parents have a Papamoa Beach house.

Yeah, and it's right on the beach front. It's amazing. So when I was younger, yeah, we used to go there. I mean, I still go there now, but we used to go there all the time over the school holidays, and I'd have about, I'd say it's at least five or six people who would just hit me up around the summer months come over spend the time at the beach wouldn't hear from them for the rest of the year until the summer holidays came around again again like i say years to click yeah yeah that's rude i will

be on them when there's an Argentinian earthquake and a tsunami wipes out the Bay of Plenty. I will. Okay, and just grab Nisha's details when she gets up. Yeah, because I quite like peppermint. It's quite lovely. Yeah, sweet. Just flip me a text.

In winter, we'll do a maintenance text. Yeah, we'll start our friendship with you and we'll maintain it during winter, Nisha. You guys. You can be our friend in winter as well. Well, I mean, technically we're on the radio all the time.

It's up to you whether or not you listen. So, and then that's kind of we've done our part and now you give us the beach house. Alright, okay.

Do you have any jet skis? Not to be greedy. You know, I actually don't know, but you can bring some. Oh, that's insane. Wow. Well, no, you've been,

you talk sometimes to lovely Trinity, don't you? Does he have bring some. Oh, that's insane. Well, no, you talk sometimes to lovely Trenty, don't you? He's got jet skis. He's doing a thing for them. Oh, so I'm not talking to him enough? No, you need to give them more maintenance. But then he's away all summer as well. His beach house is probably empty. Nisha's got something to ask for for Christmas now.

A jet ski. Yeah, that's actually a really good thinking, Megan. For your friends that only want you during summer. Okay, thanks you, cool Nisha. Someone said, it's not a batch, but I'm a personal trainer. And every September, I get mates getting in touch. Seasonal mates? And saying, yeah, wouldn't mind popping in just to see how your work runs

and maybe getting a few training sessions. Probably for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. For free. And the prep for summer. Yeah. Someone said, I live at the beach.

And without fail, every November, we start hearing from this one particular couple and then leading up to Bay Dreams, everyone just starts popping up. Like, they care how we are, but we see through it.

Do you know, it's like us, if there is a huge concert announcement and it sells out, even if it doesn't, we will get text messages. Oh, how many people did you hear from

for frontage? Oh, heaps. And all these people you've never heard from before. Yeah. Oh, pup, do you have hear from for frontage? Oh, heaps. And all these people you've never heard from before. Yeah. Oh, pup, do you have some tickets? So I'll just pull some out of the...

The thin air. Yeah. On my butt. Somebody else says seasonal around field days. I only hear it from a friend of mine because we live close

to where the field days happens. When it's field days because they want to stay at our house and I have to pay to get a hotel. But you only hear from them and you know that field days is coming up it's field days because they want to stay at our house and I have to pay to get a hotel. But you only hear from them and you know that field days is coming up because you hear from the friend.

But again, that could be sorted with a text, an out of season text. I heard from a friend I hadn't seen in 10 years. 10 years. And what, they want to stay in a batch? How are you? And I was like, this is weird. I started talking to them. It was not a half an hour into the conversation.

They asked if her 16-year-old son and five mates could stay in our garage at the beach. What? You made that mistake 16 years ago. No one else should be lumped with a 16-year-old that's not theirs. And especially five of their mates over summer. My husband's family has a private bay in the far north Oh Okay

I asked my mother-in-law tongue in cheek How long you have to be in the family Before you're allowed to invite people to the bay And my brother, his partner and niece Are coming this summer So I guess I finally got in there That was a question But again, are there any free weekends in like Jan, Feb, March?

I mean, that sounds... You want a week in February. A private bay. Could you imagine us in a private bay? I could. We could be as loud as we wanted. Yeah. Sounds delightful.

Sounds much better than sharing. Yeah. Yeah. I hate sharing. I mean, I love sharing. If we've learned anything from this, it's maintain friendships. Don't just ask out of the blue Yeah

We've got to find some rich friends first That too And then maintain them Sure Fact of the day Day Day Day

Day Today's fact of the day Is about the mating process of the grey whale. Oh, okay. The grey whale. Are they a big one? That was my question too. I mean, they're a sizeable whale. Okay.

They're no humpback. They're no blue. Okay. But they are the grey whale. How this works is there always needs to be three of them. One female and two males. Okay. Basically, the third

partner and the less dominant male, so they split off into groups of three. It's like the teacher says, form groups of three. Two boys, one girl. So basically what happens is they split off into their groups and then there's kind of a mini competition

between the two males to see who will be the dominant male, who will indeed be the father of the whale calves to come from the next season. Okay, yep. After which the dominant male goes kind of on his side and puts his fin up in the air as to say, Yoo-hoo. It's me.

It's all. It's happening. It's happening. And she swims up beside him and has to say, Yoo-hoo. It's me. It's all. It's happening. It's happening. And she swims up beside him. And also Finn up, assumes the position and gets...

So what's the other guy there for you thinking? Yeah. Well, they stay together. Entertainment. They stay together

for up to an hour. And they say lots. Mating multiple times. Yep. And then the second male keeps them afloat.

So he's used as a brace of sorts. I thought he was just voyeuristically getting off or enjoying it. No, no. He has to hold the female to the male. Right. And also provide buoyancy because they're obviously so, they're linked. Is it more like when a big ship

comes into the harbour and it's like the little pilot boat? A tugboat. But it nudges it, just pushes it into the wharf. He can go under. Okay. If there's any sort of buoyancy issue.

Yeah, right. And provide assistance as well as bracing and holding her in place. Huh. So it's like an assistant. Good lord. Not involved at all romantically.

Would he feel somewhat aggrieved that he wasn't chosen to be the dominant male? Well, I mean, yes, but they're not like humans that don't think like us. Oh, right.

Imagine you go into a competition against another man for the lady and then you lose and then he's like, alright mate, we'll limber up

because you're going to need to hold her. Well, yeah, because it would be like your girlfriend or your boyfriend all right, mate, we'll limber up because you're going to need to hold her. Well, yeah, because it would be like your girlfriend or your boyfriend finally says, yeah, we can have a threesome and you've just got to watch. Horrible. And hold her. Well, that happens.

Yeah. Again, they don't think like humans. Whales. Otherwise, this would be quite a demeaning task. Yeah, wouldn't it? Quite a demeaning task. So today's fact of the day is it takes three to tango if you're a grey whale. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Well, the good news is that Parliament voted yesterday to ban letting fees. So it's been talked about for a while. It will happen. So letting fees is not a bond. Bond is you get back when you move out if you didn't rent the place. So a letting fee was normally how much rent. But what was it for? It was for the company to manage the property.

It all just went to them, to agencies. But don't they get paid to do that? They get a percentage. So if you were renting privately, you couldn't do a letting fee? Or you could just spark it off as your own admin cost? Yeah, sure. Right. Now, Producer Caitlin, you've just literally yesterday moving into a new flat.

Yeah. You've signed over a new flat. You move in next weekend. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. We're not going to be homeless. Woo! How much was your letting fee?

Was it a week's rent? Just over a week's rent. So when does this come into effect then? Like in a month or something. Oh. I know. But we didn't want to be homeless for a month so we decided to

pay it. Well, we didn't have a choice, did we? Yeah, one rake's rent versus being homeless for a month does kind of add everything up, doesn't it? Yeah. So it'll come into effect December 12. Right. So you have missed it by a month and a bit. Six weeks.

Yeah, that rips your undies, whatever that saying is. That's the saying, rips your undies. Yeah, that's the saying, rips your undies. But it's good for people going back into flatting at the start of next year and everything. Yeah, it is. So it means no letting feet. But then is it going to backfire? Like, does this mean that rents will go up a little bit or that...

It shouldn't do because the rent goes to the landlord, right? Not to... Yeah, but the agencies that look after the rentals could put their fees up a little bit. They could put their fees up. Then they'll charge the landlords more. And one thing about landlords is they don't like accruing the costs, so they'll pass it on to the tenants.

Well, that's not fair. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Not in every case. There are good landlords, just like good tenants. There in every case. There are good landlords. Just like good tenants. There are bad tenants and there are bad landlords.

My landlord is the best. Yes. He's so great. My landlord won't stop going to Kmart and spending money. Are you talking about your wife? Yes. Sometimes she likes to say, call me landlord. Yeah.

It's kinky stuff. It's kinky stuff, guys. Okay, mate. I'm like, I've made a big mess. I'm not getting my bond back, am I? She's like, no, Christ's sake, clean up the dishes. Do it. I'm like, oh, we're finished doing the sexy landlord stuff.

This is going to put you off. Well, it's not actually something we have in New Zealand that I've seen. Right. There might be places around the country that have this, but they have them in Australia and they have them in America. But it is going to put you off similar things that we do have here. A person has been spotted misusing a public salad bar. So these are where it's like self-service.

Yeah. You look containing. America and Australia in the supermarkets love a salad bar. So you go in and get like a plastic dish or whatever, a bowl. It's like a DIY deli. Yeah. And then you put your whatever you want in. You can make a nice lunch.

There's always good meats and stuff and soups. And then, yeah, you just pay at the checkout. But yeah, it's weird that it's not a thing here. Yeah. Because they're so huge overseas. And I'm a big fan. Whenever I go overseas, it's like a good healthy option. I'm almost insulted.

It must mean they don't trust us with the salad tongs. And do you know what? This will be why. Because in Chicago, a video has gone viral because in the salad bar, there's salads, there's soups and like casserole things. Yeah. bar, there's salads, there's soups and like casserole things and he has been filmed taking a sip from the ladle in the soup

and then putting it back in there. That is disgusting. So he's testing it? Oh, maybe. But then like pour it in a container and test that. But if he's done it and been caught, it's definitely been done before. And how many times has he done it before?

Yeah. I would assume anything that humans are allowed to stick their hands in have had other hands in it. Oh, like when you see kids getting their hands in the pick and mix? Yeah. Yeah. And where have those hands been since they were last washed? Yeah, I'm kind of getting put off pick and mix. And I'm not going to do the cellar bar anymore because I've seen that.

It's what I'm all about. It's what I'm all about. It's why I'm all about the deli. Let the deli professionals handle the deli meats. Yeah. Because if it was up to us, we'd be fingers in. We'd be too many fingers. Half the stuff, I don't do the deli at the supermarket because you get them and they put the sticker on it.

It's like $1,800. So I just end up having to chuck it on a shelf somewhere. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's on you for picking the egg and celery salad. That thing's always very expensive. Yeah, but an egg and celery salad shouldn't be $1,800. I know it shouldn't be, and it shouldn't weigh that much. Just make it yourself.

Since when did eggs weigh a kg? That's what it feels like when you get an egg and celery salad. It costs a damn fortune to do so. Do you know what I'm a fan of? And I haven't seen a single one of these in New Zealand, and I only saw it for the first time when I was travelling in South America, in Brazil. I'm a fan of and I haven't seen a single one of these in New Zealand and I only saw it for the first time when I was travelling

in South America in Brazil. I'm to Brazil. They have these places, even in malls they have them. Yeah. Where you go

and you get a plate and then you put your food on it and they weigh it at the end and you pay. Don't they do that at some takeaway places? Like, or you can eat

Chinese takeaway places. They weigh it and then you pay per whatever. Like a smorgasbord. But yeah, you pile up your plate and then you pay at the end. There's that soup place that does it. Really? So there's a soup place not too far from here. Yeah.

The one by the movies that we always walk past and I say my wife always wants to go there. Oh, yeah. So she went there and she took her dad and he was back last time. And so what you do is you just pay by the weight of the soup at the end. And he had loaded it up because he thought he was just paying for the bowl. With meaty bits. And then he got there and it was a $23 soup. That would really upset him too.

He's a tight ass. He's a tight ass. He's like, how, how, how? I'm like, sir, this is minimal liquid. It's a lot of meat. It's very heavy. But that's the thing, it keeps you honest. Because if it's an all-you-can-eat price by bowl,

you are going to go more meat. That's like the Chinese takeaway. Oh, yeah, you push that polystyrene container to its absolute limits. You don't put rice and noodles in. They're just fillers. They're like all four corners of that, aren't they, pushed down? That's why some places charge you a couple of extra bucks. Have you put

some shower sealant in the corner to hold this shut? What were you waiting over in that corner for 10 minutes for it to dry for blowing on it? What? I am insulted. You accuse me of such a thing. We'd just like to end

this podcast with a very special message. Yes, friend of the show. Yep. Longtime contributor. Sarah Thwaites is running the New York Marathon, and she may indeed be listening to this right now as she's getting towards the end of the marathon. Is she going to listen to us while she's running?

She's listening to the podcast while she runs the marathon. And depending how long it takes, I think she was saving up this week, according to her friend Gabriela, who messaged in. This is a massive achievement for her. She's been working towards it for ages And you can't just walk up to the New York Marathon And run it Can you? No you've got to do

The marathons Enter a ballot Yeah You've got to do so many or something In the lead up to it It's not just a Johnny come lately I'll get a pack off

Trade me situation But this is the marathon That Katie Holmes cheated in And took the subway Or a taxi Apparently Yeah Did we ever get a definitive answer

On Katie Holmes' cheating Most definitely cheated I think most people were like You definitely cheated Was she still with Tom Cruise Was it the Scientologist That did it Yeah I think it was the end

Of their relationship They made it go away The Scientologist And then they made her go away But also Keep her mouth shut So she is running The New York Marathon, and her friend said she's going to be listening to the podcast.

She told me that she's going to be listening to the podcast while she runs the marathon, so if we could just give her a little bit of a morale boost. Get it, girl. I'm so proud of you. Get it, man. Get it, man. Get it, get it.

I'm not. Okay. She's on a sheet. Stand back. You've got to stand back. It's like she's running, and in. Okay. She's on a sheet. Stand back. You've got to stand back. It's like she's running and we're yelling from the side of the road. Come on. Come on.

Run. Do the sheet whistle. Get in. Get in, love. Get in. It's a bit of home for you while you're running. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay. We're running close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, stay in the hard space. Your whistles are very piercing, boy. Yeah, but that's why you've got to reach right up the back of the paddock because the bloody dog's going to get over here. Get over here. Yep. Here.

Get it, dog. Get it. Okay. Okay, well. Have we forgotten why we're here? Hey, Scott, you're being bloody stupid now. I was being stupid. Stop it.

I'll stop it now. You're showing off. You're taking me back to the bloody backcountry. The rolling hills of the Waikato. Whistling at the sheep there Get the dog to do what you want Anyway, best of luck Congratulations though

Because that's a huge achievement I mean you haven't done it yet You're going to feel great When you cross the finish line babes Yeah Oh no, you feel absolutely terrible Oh okay I'm trying to be encouraging

It's later on when you can When you feel great A week later You can look back and feel good Yeah that sort of thing Bite that metal Yeah Don't bite it too hard, though.

And to everybody else, have a fantastic weekend. Sitting on your ass. Doing nothing. The Nelson Half Marathon's on this weekend. Is it? Yeah. Your mum and dad will be doing that. No.

Your dad needs to come down a couple of k's from the end in his natural state, as he likes to, and just chase me with his big old dick. So they're just like, Jesus! Run! Yeah. Although some people might not run away from a big old dick. True, wow. True.

And then your mum's like, get in behind! Christ, Vaughn! Get in behind me. Come on, let's get home. Yeah, big wazzup. Yeah, big wazzup. Let's go home, big wazzup. Get in.

Get in, girl! The end. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn big one. Get it. Get it, girl. The end.