ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 07 2019

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

Matilda Green is on the show ahead of her new book, Community Notices and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Morning. Good morning. What is that smile for? Dunno. Just waiting for Caitlin to bring in the what's on the show. Oh, I just thought you had something brewing.

It was a cheeky grip. You looked like you had goss. You looked like you had tea. Oh, no, I've got goss, but not for on-air goss. Some tea, some off-air tea. Really? Is, um, a question, is the Santa up on Queen Street in Auckland, the big Santa they put up on?

Nah, I honestly don't believe it could be because for all the years we've done, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. As soon as his boots go up, I'm inundated. Because I'm inundated. Come that way to work, but I always keep forgetting to look. Up. To look up, yeah.

So I'm just on my line in my own little zone. Because we've got another segment of it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas today. What are we, 47 days away from Christmas today? Because this could be one of the last segments we do. Well, it's always around the time of the year that it gets up there, 47. Christmas penetration certainly up there. But if anybody has seen the Santa up, that could mean the end of it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Is it the Santa parade next weekend? Yeah. It's parade season. They don't even bother even waiting until December's within cooey for that anymore before they start cranking out the Auckland Santa parade. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that because it ends by my apartment

building. I lie. I lie. I lie. I lie. 24th of November. The Santa parade. Oh, okay. Alright. That's alright then. So yeah, that lie. 24th of November. Is it Santa? The final Santa. Oh, okay, all right. That's all right then. So, yeah, that is within a sniff of December still. Right.

The top six is coming up. Yeah, my chemical romance reunion tour. New Zealand's going to be getting it. With Chimmy Eat World are going to be playing with them in New Zealand. Isn't that just a double banger? It's a double header. Tape the fringe back on. I'm imagining a few em New Zealand. Isn't that just a double banger? It's a double header. Tape the fringe back on. I'm imagining a few emos have gone bald since 2009,

and that's absolutely okay. That's fine, yeah. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. Headlines that I've found.

And Born and Megan, as always, must pick one headline only. Headline one, killer Instagram shot. Headline two, multitasking at work loses woman her job. And headline three, police x-ray finds missing drugs. Those are your headlines.

Police x-ray finds missing drugs. Those are your headlines. Police X-ray. Oh, that someone's put it up their tushy, eh? Someone got drugs up their tush. There are drugs in the tush, yes. What was two women's... Is the tushy the... The tushy's the bum. Oh, no, it's the other one.

Oh, really? Wowzers. Crikey. Heavens. You should be careful that the bag doesn't burst. How do you fit drugs up your doodle? That's a good question. Ouch.

What was the second one? Multitasking at work loses woman her job. Or killer Instagram shot. No, because that's just someone's had a whoopsie while getting an insti. Yeah, multitasking. Two. Two. We go to Coral Springs, which is in South Florida now,

where a woman called 911 to report that she was shot at. She was in her car. The bullet pierced the windshield, almost shooting her in the head. So she called 911, as you would if you were in your car and someone shot through your windscreen. It was about 7 o'clock. This happened in June. Details are just coming out now because it's all being dealt with.

And she called 911 and said, look, I've been shot at. And the dispatcher said, we will get someone out there ASAP because this is a shooting. Yeah. Well, the poor woman waited. 16 minutes later, nothing. She calls again. Very upset. They eventually get someone out to her.

But it's not good enough because, you know, someone's been shot at. Yeah, true. So she makes a complaint. And that is when they find that the 911 dispatcher was watching Netflix. Oh, my God. So what, she was just like, yeah, we'll get someone out. Okay, bye. She flagged the, she didn't flag it with priority, the call.

They pulled data from the dispatcher's computer and found that the woman over 30 days, the most used applications on her computer, along with the dispatching 911 software, were Netflix, Hulu and Xfinity TV. They found that the movie I Am Mother with actress Hilary Swank was playing at her workstation for almost two hours while the 911 caller was reporting the shooting. I watched that movie.

It's not bad. Not bad. It's not bad. Gripping. You could imagine it would get in the way of your work. It's not bad. Wonderful young actress in that movie. Yeah.

She has been fired. Yeah, I don't think that's the job for her. Yeah. It requires attention. Yeah. Huh. So she wasn't even watching it legally. She was watching it on an illegal streaming site. No, she was using

it on, you said Xfinity. Oh, what's Xfinity? It's like a torrent streaming site. How did you know that? I've never heard of that before. Well, no, you said she was watching a Netflix movie, the only distributor of which would be Netflix. You said she was spending a lot of time on Xfinity.

That was also a used app. I said the most used apps on her computer. Xfinity isn't that never-ending hot water supply. I don't know. Don't try and claim you don't know what it is now. Digital TV, cable, internet, and home phone. Home phone? It's Comcast. Right,, cable, internet and home phone. Home phone? It's Comcast. Right, so it's

just another streaming service. Right. So she was basically, while she was at work, I know people that have, but they've got like just boring office jobs that do a little Netflix on the side of work in their work stations. Because you could be on like a Word document and just like split screen

it, right? Yeah, totally. Or have your iPad or your phone on the side. Oh yeah, all that. And just be working. If your job was, for example, a call centre and no one was calling,

that'd be okay. In my book. I don't see the problem with that. But if you had other things to be doing. But imagine someone calls right in the best moment. You're like, oh, pause. But there's like 10 people

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shooting, shooting. Yep, call, pause. But there's like 10 people in the... You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, shooting, shooting. Yeah, call, yeah. But there's like 10 people in the call centre. Just let one of them answer it first. And then meanwhile... They might all be busy. Meanwhile, us, we ring a call centre. It's like, oh, we're sorry.

We're really busy at the moment. It's taking us 10 minutes to answer. It's like, because you're all on Netflix. But they can probably tell us. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, they're not all on Netflix. No, they're all on Netflix. I don't want people ringing somewhere today, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, they're not all on Netflix. No, they're all on Netflix. I don't want people ringing somewhere today,

getting angry at a wait time, and then the person answers, no, I'm here. You bastards are on Netflix. And they're just like, what? Where is this coming from? No, we're a bank. People are complaining non-stop.

No, you're on Netflix. There would literally be no time in a call centre. No. I'd imagine. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast literally be no time in a call centre. No. I'd imagine. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Steve Easterbrook.

You will never have heard of, but now you will have. He is the British CEO of McDonald's. I didn't know this, but McDonald's has a British CEO, an American CEO. All the big markets have a CEO. Oh, okay. Do we have a New Zealand CEO? Imagine if that was your dad. Probably like an Australasian CEO. Oh, yeah, but imagine if that was your dad. Probably like an Australasian CEO.

Oh, yeah, but imagine if that was your dad. CEO of Macca's. You'd get free Big Macs. Yeah. Free sauce. You wouldn't have to pay 50 cents for the sauce. I know, but do you want just like free Macca's on tap all the time? No, absolutely.

I don't need that in my life. No, you don't. Didn't famously in radio someone get a McDonald's gold card and put on 25 kgs in a year? Yeah. But he was driving. Who was that? He was driving from Hamilton to Auckland.

Oh, yeah, okay. And every morning he'd go past the 24 hours and he'd call in and get himself a little pre-work treat and then get another one on the way home. He was abusing the privilege. It's the stuff of legends when a place gives you a gold card. Yeah. So we had a Nando's

gold card at one stage and one person, Brad Watson, ruined it for everybody by eating there eight times a day. Yeah. We got those taken. They were like, Brad, pack her off. It's nine o'clock in the morning. Open up! I want my free Nando's! Legendary. So Steve

Easterbrook, he's lost his job now. Apparently when he lost his job now. Apparently when he lost his job, his family were very much in the dark about why he'd lost his job. I think he even tried to paint it to a few of them as he was ready to move on. Well, that's until the news broke that he had had an affair with somebody on his staff. Now, it was consensual. They were both adults.

But he obviously had a wife. Yes. Oh, right. And three children. Oh, okay. Oh, did they get free Big Macs? I imagine so. I imagine.

That's all pleaded to me. They would have had the bougiest McDonald's birthdays. Oh, my God, they would have. Yes. Even if they were 21. Yeah. Dad's like, another McDonald's birthday? They're like, all my friends are paleo.

He's like, that'd be right. Do you want to go on the playground or not? Yeah, I'll go on the playground. So apparently his brother-in-law, when questioned, he's married to his sister. Yeah. So this was this guy's wife. Yeah. So this was this guy's wife. Yeah. Her brother said, it looks like Steve has been a very naughty boy. We heard that he'd

been let go, but we didn't know any other details. But it came to light that it was a consensual affair. But why are they sacking him for a consensual affair? I think it's... They must have... Don't drag the company into disrepute clause. But you know what? What? Sounds to me like Pink Fire's not that bad.

He earned £12 million last year. Oh, okay. What's that rocking out of it? $20-something million, New Zealand. And perks. He knew the Monopoly things on the... Yeah, he got all the McDonald's monopolies.

Brilliant. He will likely get 21 million pounds in a severance package, including stock options. So almost two years worth of work. Yeah. Which he'll have to give half to his wife if she leaves. Oh yeah, she's going to be ounce keys.

Yeah. Wow. Okay, so you're not allowed, if you're at Macca's, you're not allowed to liaise with the crew. Not at that level. You're probably allowed to, like, take a break the same time as the person on drive-thru and go and have a pash by the bins. Right, okay.

But if you're CEO, you're probably not allowed to. Well, you're not allowed to have a pash by the bins if you're CEO you're probably not allowed to well you're not allowed to have a pash by the bins if you're CEO you should be better than that hire a hotel room a nice one where people can keep

their damn mouths shut and then have a pash God I'm just imagining being CEO of Mac imagine if you went in and they were like oh no sorry

the Sunday machine's broken but hmm I know what that means I'm the CEO start it up someone forgot to clean it didn't they get it done Sunday machine's broken. I know what that means. I'm the CEO. Start it up. Someone forgot to clean it, didn't they? Get it done.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. My Chemical Romance have announced a New Zealand show. Along with Jimmy Eat World, one of Megan and I's favourite bands. Yes. At Auckland's Western Springs, The Outer Fields, Wednesday, March 25th.

Wednesday? Wednesday. Wednesday. Yeah, it's a Wednesday. March 25th. Megan's like, I don't know if I'll go now. No.

The Midnight Youth, New Zealand band Midnight Youth. Jared Way, 42 years old now. Is he? Yep. My God, I was in love with Gerard Way. He's only five years younger than Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day. Huh.

Who's 47. Okay. Brennan Urie. Yep. Panic at the Disco. That can't be right. How old is he? 45.

He wouldn't be odd. 42. 43. 32. Oh. That can't be right. 42. 43. 32. Oh. That can't be right. Yeah, very, very 32. Was he like 19 or something when they started?

He must have been. Yeah, he's got... He was a very young man. So they're getting back together, a bit of a reunion show. So the top six today is the top six signs my Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. Okay. six today is the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. Because you know, we think it was a good ten years ago when they were really hitting

their straps. When it was really like the midst of it all. Even maybe a little bit older. What year did Welcome to the Black Parade come out? I don't know. Welcome to the Black Parade. That album was released in 2006.

So 2007, 2008, those were the massive years of that feeling. So, you know, that's 12 years ago. So the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on about. Number six, they've got to sort out midweek babysitters so they can go to the show. Hard to get a midweek babysitter. Yeah. Who are. Hard to get a midweek babysitter. Yeah. Who are we going to get?

Hi, Sophie. Can you babysit on Wednesday? Oh, no, sorry. I've got LA. Oh, okay. All right. Thank you. Maybe we can't go.

Number five on the list of the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. No more mosh pits. Bad back, dodgy knees. And standing up for that long. When people are barging me.

Don't push. Stop. Stop pushing them. Hey, hey, I came here to hear the band, not you screaming in my ear. I'm not okay. You're dead right I'm not okay because you keep smashing into me.

Stop. Number four on the list of the top six signs my Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. They can't have a big one. They've got an F45 class before work tomorrow morning. Got to that age where you're like, I suppose I better just start doing some exercises.

Yeah. All that hanging outside Burger King on Queen Street, she'll go on up with me. Hey, hello. Number three on the list of the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. They'll be the ones going,

oh, jeez, that's loud. It's louder than it needs to be. Maybe I'll move back a little bit. Number two on the list of the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit.

They're still putting on an eyeliner, but it's very subtle. Less is more. Yeah. Less, not like the old panda trick. Do you remember when we met Megan and she was a goth? I knew you were going to say this.

She was an emo goth. This was peak My Chemical Romance time. Nah, you were more of an evanescence than a My Chem. It was 2008. It was peak My Chem infatuation. Yeah. Okay? Good times.

And number one on the list of the top six signs My Chemical Romance fans are getting on a bit. They will not be paying $45 for some merchandise. That is crazy money. And we're saving for our

insert thing you're saving for here. Holiday. Yep. House. Yep. Wedding. Baby. Oh, babies.

I wonder if there's that many My Chemical Romance fans that have had babies that have called babies Jared. I wonder if there's that spiky baby Jared. Baby. Oh, babies. I wonder if there's that many MyCam fans that have had babies that have called babies Jared. I wonder if there's that spike of baby Jared. Baby. We don't like Jared, but Jared's much better. Jared. Lovely.

That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Kiwi kids are skipping school for one thing. Doing one thing. Is it free refills of hot chocolates at McDonald's? Because that's why I skipped school.

Yeah, we used to always go a little bit early to drive to McDonald's. It was quite far away from my high school. Take orders and stuff. Was your dad the CEO? Nah. He used to take orders. Yeah. But everyone had to pay cash up front.

Yeah, yeah. No change given. Yeah. And everyone, because not everyone had a car, so you'd team up With who had the car Do you clip a bit? Nah Oh come on

I wasn't very entrepreneurial Yeah Like I'd run a One ninety from a six Oh chippy tax One hundred percent chippy tax Oh right But not like money

I wasn't like Oh so you gave them their change Yeah No the rule was If you were doing the run The rule was No change Exact change or no change

Oh yeah At least get a cheeseburger out of it. Come on, Megan. Just chippy tacks. Come on. So it's not McDonald's runs. Right. But this is in New Zealand

and principals and teachers have been giving parents advice because it's such a huge problem. So Kiwi kids are skipping school to try and become TikTok celebrities. To make TikTok videos. To make TikTok videos. To make TikTok videos and become famous. And that's it.

We don't need school anymore. We don't need uni or a job. Yes. Right. So a deputy principal from Manurua Intermediate School has said, I've had to go around to houses where kids haven't been coming to school because they just want to make TikTok videos and become famous. Quote.

TikTok dens. Yeah, right. That's this. Don't worry about your meth dens. It's your TikTok dens that you've got to worry about now. Yeah. And there's stats that have been leaked that say 69% of TikTok users are 16 to 24 years old.

Right. So massive majority are school age. On the fame train. Right. Why not though? If you give it a go and you make some money out of it. Yeah. How are they making money though going over to YouTube?

Do you get paid for views on TikTok? I don't know. I'm imagining you build up the massive fan base and then the products start saying wear our clothes or yeah

trucks in the background or work a slim tee into your dance routine momming to a Mariah Carey song that'd be really great. Yeah. Yeah.

But it is pretty it is pretty a friend's daughter's well into it. Yep. Well into TikTok. Is she famous yet? Not yet.

Working on it. Yeah. And my girls are always like, can we get a TikTok? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yep, yep. When we get home, we'll do it. And then they forget. So that's great. Until next time.

They're like, we didn't get the TikTok last time. You're like, oh yeah, now we'll do it when we get home. Gotta imagine if they skip school to be TikTok famous. Yeah, we'd just go off, eh? Well, the thing about rural living is it's pretty hard. They'd have to walk all the way home, so. Joke's on them. And also, good luck uploading your TikTok with the rural band. Yeah, the rural band.

God, we're not going to be TikTok stars with this bloody dial-up situation. Oh, well, that's all right. Stay in school. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. This one comes from Timaru Pets. Okay.

Bracket, South Canterbury, close bracket. Just in case anybody needed some confirmation. Okay. Kate writes, attention, do these belong to you? And there is a collection of four dolls. One's a snowman, two a reindeer, and one looks to be a rabbit sort of situation. We woke up the other morning at a stupid hour to our idiot squid seen here in mugshot. And he's a black and white cat.

Squid. Dragging in the largest doll and he's a black and white cat. Squid. Dragging in the largest doll, which I believe is a rabbit. However, this morning we woke to find the rest of the family had also been dragged in. There are tiny bits of tinsel attached, so we really hope he's not taking apart your Christmas tree bit by bit. Wow, someone's already put up their Christmas tree. And the cat's dragging in the decorations.

Did you do yours? No, I ran out of time. Ooh, the grinch over there. No, every day I'm like, I need to put up the Christmas tree. It's like getting so close to Christmas. This is not like me at all. Are you doing it this weekend? Yeah, hopefully. You got a busy weekend?

What are you doing? I'm working. Everyone here has an excuse to say, oh, I was a bit busy. Apart from Fletch, who has nothing on, but he's always the one that's got to go because he's got a busy day. I've always got busy things to do. Oh, my God. Give me a break. So Squid and Squid's parents are located on Douglas Street.

So if you have lost, if you're in Tamaru and you have lost four so far Christmas dolls. They've got them. Yeah, they've got them. So Squid's just apparently doing it innocently, but it happens. Now, I'm going to save the Dunedin one to last. Okay. It's pretty drama. This is from the Papakura Spread the Word page.

Trina posts, To the parents down Cargill Street, it was me beeping out to some little boy that was pulling his pants down, showing off his little push pop to the cars. Push pop. That's the best name. Wow. I was on the way.

No, because push shops, you always had to like push it in from the other side. You don't want to have to do that, do you? No. I was on the way to the shops and you always had to push it in from the other side. You don't want to have to do that, do you? No. I was on the way to the shops, and he was doing it. And then on my way home, the same boy has a fishing rod, waving it around at cars in the middle of the road. Wow. Did he serve his push pop out?

Because that's dangerous. You don't want to get a fish hook in your push pop. Oh, push pop. No. Fish hook, push pop. I held my horn down so his parents would come out and no, I didn't swear at him, but I hope his parents sort his ass out

because if it was my child, I would have given him a piece of my mind. Little shit looked about seven or eight. Don't pop that. Because in my mind, he was like three or four. Yeah, yeah. But now he's seven or eight. Out in the middle of the road.

That's very dangerous, regardless of what he's doing with his push pop. He sounds like a shit bagger. He's one to watch out for. Yeah, watch that one in the future. Jeff's posted on the Auckland Buy, Sell and Swap page. This came in last week. I'm here in Auckland for the Metallica concert

that they cancelled, but keen to buy some Coke. What? Coca-Cola. Mate. Hit me up. Don't be weird. Okay.

Do people realise that even the police can be on Facebook? The police love Facebook. Yes. It's a great way for them to be in the office right until they don't need to be to come and arrest your arse for publicly posting about drugs or other illegal activities. If they were like, oh, we need some arrests for our stats, you know, we've got till end of the week. Let's get some arrests.

Let's set up some easy ones. Let's troll Facebook. Yeah, let's set up an account and join all their local Facebook pages. That's how policing works. You've got to have a quota or something. There'd be a bit of that. Sure. Get your easy quota.

While we're in Auckland, let's pop to the Green Lane. This was on the Green Lane Neighbourly app. Okay. In need, says Angela. Does anyone have $700 I could have? Here's my phone number. Four. It doesn't say, Megan.

Like shoes or? If you're giving it to her, you don't get to ask. Tell her about today's bonus banger. You could win $1,000 cash. Stay tuned, Angela. You should have $300 extra. You would. Stay tuned, Angela. You could do without1,000 cash. Stay tuned, Angela. You should have $300 extra. You would. Stay tuned, Angela. You could do without $300 anything you did well, please.

And finally today, let's go to Dunedin News Uncut. Dunedin News Uncut. You've got this up, Buttercup. It's always better. There was Dunedin News. Cut. But the moderators were having to delete too much content, so someone started Dun news uncut.

It's on late at night. I'm not going to use names. Okay. I'll use fake names. Okay. Okay. Carol posts, Hey Facebook,

does anyone know where I can find my soon-to-be ex-husband John? I need to serve him with divorce papers. I believe he still lives with my 17 year old half sister Karen. Ha ha ha. Vomit emoji. Any help would be greatly appreciated, even his place of work. I can't personally

serve it to him. It'll be the court people. Please. He lives in Dunedin. How does she not know where her soon to be ex-husband is working? Yeah. Or where her half-sister is. Easy, though. Like, if they had

two years separation, you have to have two years separated before you can get legally divorced. And is that, do you have to wait those two years

to serve the court papers? Yeah. Right. But if it's amicable, you often just catch up and sign it and that. Yeah. Otherwise, you get your lawyers to do it.

So she's doing it solo. She needs to serve him the papers to sign. Yeah. Dramas, though. Good luck. So what's he doing living with her half-sister? Well, that's where the drama is. Who's only 17.

Are they like together? Apparently. Well, I judge by the vomity face that there's something going on there. They are still together. No, no follow-up. But face that there's something going on there. They are still together. No, no follow-up, but I can tell you the insights on this post have been pretty hot. 185 reactions, one share, 485 comments. Wow.

Those are the sorts of insights that'll get you a pretty penny. Or a sponsor. Yeah, exactly. Hashtag Spawn Post. For the local lawyers that are doing it pro bono, I guess, a pretty penny or a sponsor. Yeah, exactly. Hashtag Spawn Post. For the local lawyers that are doing it pro bono, I guess, for the tagging.

They kept it nice and tidy. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FEMZM on Facebook.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. I love this story. You always hear of couples who break up before they've gone on their trip that they've planned. Oh, yeah, that's a classic. So this has happened to Christina is her name.

She had booked a romantic holiday to Paris with her partner. I don't know how long they've been together, but they broke up before they went to Paris. Right. And she's like, stuff it. I'm going anyway. I'm going to go to Paris. Yeah, I'd do that because I wouldn't want to waste a holiday. Right. And she's like, stuff it, I'm going anyway. I'm going to go to Paris. Yeah, I'd do that because I wouldn't want to waste a holiday. I certainly wouldn't go with them

if we'd broken up. God, no. But then you hear of couples that do that and they have to sit together on the plane. Yeah. And they're always like, oh no, it's fine, it's amicable. But like, yeah. You get there early and you say, hey, we don't want to be seated together anymore. And surely they'll do their best to move you to different ends of the plane, right? Yeah, you get there early and you say, hey, we don't want to be seated together anymore.

And surely they'll do their best to move you to different ends of the plane, right? Yeah, you try. And then you're like, he cheated on me, that's the reason we broke up

and blah, blah, blah. And the girl on check-in, or the guy on check-in, it's like, oh my God, you need a business upgrade? And I'm like, oh my God,

you didn't, you didn't, you didn't. So Christina went to Paris with her friends and she said she, when she was planning went to Paris with her friends. And she said she, when she was planning the Paris trip with her boyfriend, she was like, they planned to get like the romantic kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower. You know, what's that?

You go up the stairs and there's like a flat, but it's another. The Arc de Triomphe. No, no, no. That's, there's another like landmark where everyone stands to see across to the Eiffel Tower. There's a really picture. I can't remember. I've been there, but I can't remember what it's called. Yeah.

So you stand there and you get a picture. Just apologies to any French listeners this morning. It was in Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise. Was it? Okay. Tom Cruise? You climbed Tom Cruise? Do you remember when I had the same phone as Tom Cruise

in Mission Impossible 2 or 3? Oh, my God. I was so cool. Was it the razor? Didn't he have like a black razor flip? He had this one. It slid. It didn't flip.

It slid. And I was like, I've practically got a spy phone. You have a slidey phone? Yeah. Weird. Fancy. So she was on that flatbed that I'm trying to describe to you. Yeah.

And she was looking around and she's like, well, I really wanted that photo with my boyfriend. Yeah. And she saw a hot guy and she said, I'm going to ask this guy if he wants a kiss. Okay. She was like, I need this romantic picture. This is what I wanted to do when I came to Paris. So she said, I saw this gorgeous guy and I went up to him and I asked, first of all, if he had a girlfriend and he didn't.

Yeah. And then she said, would you kiss me right here in front of the Eiffel Tower for a picture? And she said, this hot ass guy in the coolest manner just said, yeah, of course. And was he French? I don't know. We don't know about him.

We don't know. Okay. I've only got a picture of him side on too because when I say kiss, like, it's full on pash. Oh, wow. He's really going in there. I don't know. He like did a little grab on her chin and she had her arms around his waist.

Normally, if you're overseas, you'd have to get on an app to get that action. Yeah. On only one app. And so this happened in Paris and she was like, I love the photo. And then she decided that wherever she went around the world, she would do the same thing. So she has gone around to different places and she has got pictures kissing strangers. There's one in front of the Coliseum. Good on her though because he looks hot too.

So she's just learnt that guys will kiss a girl not too many questions asked. Yeah. Pretty much, yeah. Is she attractive though? I can't work out on the kiss photo. Her face is always up against someone else.

I mean, yeah. She looks to be, yeah. If you were single and some girl was just like, I just need a photo, would you do that? It's a trap. Yeah. Instantly, the cynical me would be like, where are the hidden cameras?

Yeah. It's a trap. It's one of those hidden camera shows that you always see pop up on the internet at like one and a half speed with like comical music behind them. Yeah. And then it happens to like a series of people. Yeah.

Whoever was putting that candid camera situation together. Although in front of the Eiffel Tower or something, if it was a hot guy and they asked to kiss me, I'd be like, you're going to steal my wallet. Yes. Yes, that too. You're going to steal my money. Okay, but what if you were holding on to your handbag Real tight Yeah

You'd do it I'd still be like They're going to pull my pants down or something It's going to be like some weird down trail video What are you 10? It's not school A weird down trail video People don't do down trails in adult life Megan

You're right Do they? I don't know It'd be like some weird video This is why I can't not wear undies I've always got to wear boxers because of down trousers at school. Like I'd love to free ball all the time, but down trousers at school. What do you mean yuck?

I don't need to know that you want to do that. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 47 days, 16 hours and 43 minutes until Christmas. Halfway through my Christmas shopping. Jeez. Christmas shopping. Well, you don't have your tree up. No, I don't.

You said as soon as it hit November it would be up. You've been too busy. I know, but I make it an event. Like, I put on Christmas music and I get, like, some bubs. And we, like, dance around with Leo and we, like, take time with it. Yeah, right. Okay. It's not just a, like, get it up, get it done thing.

Right. It's an event. I've got to enjoy the moment. Okay. Right. Well. You can't see Vaughan's face. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

If you're new to the show, it's where we look at Christmas penetration creeping in, and it's nearly the end of this segment. Signs of Christmas. Yep. Spotted out in the wild. Amber has messaged in outside the Albany Mall. Albany Mall?

Albany. Albany Mall. Albany. Albany Mall. The Albanian Mall. Yeah. On Auckland's North Shore. Putting up the exterior Christmas decorations.

Oh, goodness. Exterior. I'm talking your wreath. That means business. Your wreath. And your lights. Yeah. With an aforementioned wreath. Mary Allen. Okay. Makes contact with the show.

It's officially Christmas in my opinion. Thanks, Mary. I was at the flooring room in Palmerston North and they had a Santa on their counter. I had to go up and thank them for their Christmas spirit. We debated in depth about what should be in the sleigh. The typical can cane, red or green M&M's.

The list went on. And there's a photo of said sleigh. Yeah. At the, I mean, the flooring room hasn't gone all out. Right. It's just a little tip of the hat to Christmas. It's a little nod. It's a little nod.

Jan's in Honolulu at the moment. Lucky old Jan. She works hard, though. I'll give her that. She deserves some time away. You're making up Jan's backstory. Lovely, lovely Jan. Apart from the incident. What's the incident? She works hard though I'll give her that She deserves some time away You're making up Jan's backstory Lovely Lovely Jan Apart from the incident

What's the incident? What's the It was misinterpreted Jan almost got cancelled In 2019 Can you stop For a little bit of a joke Can you stop making up

Jan's backstory She's probably lovely She's in Honolulu Taking some time out With her redundancy money Yeah It was leave It was

It was push or leave, you know? So she wanted to leave. Stop making up Jan's backstory. She said Santa's up on the roof at Ala Moana. Oh, that's a great shopping centre. Which is a huge shopping centre. If anybody's been to Honolulu, you know Ala Moana. Horrible place.

So much walking and it's hot. There is a Bubba Gump's there though. If we're looking for positives in shopping, it's always eating. Sounds like my kind of cardio. Tracy Savage messages into the show. Savage wasn't her name until she did that thing. Stop it. Almost got her fired and cancelled in 2019.

It's been a big year for our Tracys and our Jans. She said, I'm sure you guys already know this, but Cadbury Dream White Christmas has officially touched down in the shops now. In New Zealand? Yes. Oh, because we did that. We talked about it when I was in Australia. Did you see the twirl ones that they're making?

Is it twirl caramilk? What? Yeah, they're doing twirl caramilk. It's a hot play. I love a twirl. A twirl's like a flake covered. Yeah. Can we just space it out during the year?

Because there's too many numbs at Christmas. No, have all of them. Christmas numbs. You've got your Easter numbs. Yeah. Next, if we're keeping an eye out for it, Alana Fahity. She had to move to Germany because it all went so pear-shaped for her. Stop saying people's full names

and then giving them a fake backstory. I said, Alana, you can't wear a gollywog T-shirt. That's what I said. She did not do that. She may have. Christmas Penetration in Berlin. The wine advent calendars are out. For 50 euros, you can get an advent calendar

that's a bottle of wine a day. Oh, that's a bit much. Is it? That's quitter's talk. Do you know what you could do? You just get one of those cheap wine racks from Kmart or the warehouse and then like pop all the wines in and then wrap it up or put it in a box and then cut

little doors open and make your own. Oh my god, are you doing it? It's arts and crafts. Kmart's hacks page. Yeah. That could work. Is that you this weekend? If you're putting your own bottles in, why settle on wine? Why not have a spirits? Why not have a bottle of vodka every night?

It's Christmas. Some would say that's a problem. Tis the season. Somebody said, Jess has been in touch saying that it's classic November. She's been at a mall. She's spotted multiple Christmas trees at the elevator, escalator, escalator, on ramp, off ramp. So there's one on each side. So they've not just gone for the main tree now.

We're starting to see sporadic spreading of other Christmas trees around the mall. Well, with all that in mind, and only 47 days away... Warm up that nose. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 95%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. At the moment, the Grace Mullane case is in court.

This was, I can't believe this was almost a year ago. This was a hell of a thing for the Mullane family who reported their daughter missing and then a body was found. Somebody was arrested and now that accused is in court. We're not going to go into any details here by the way. We're just kind of interested in the human aspect of

the trial as the Mullane family are here from England to see this through and that's going to be a hell of a thing so thoughts are with them but Anna joins us and you've been covering this you're a court reporter crime reporter for the New Zealand Herald and

you've been in court for this what's the I mean we don't even begin to sort of process what the Mullane family must be going through, they're there for the yeah so Grace's parents were in court for the first day yesterday to hear the Crown opening and sort of running through the case against the accused, which was very detailed.

You know, for the first time we heard details of Grace's death and what police, you know, say happened to her. So her family had to sit through all of that evidence, which must have been exceptionally hard for them. It was horrible to read everything that happened in court yesterday. It was horrific. Yeah, it was definitely shocking. I mean, as a crime reporter,

you know a lot of facts before you go into a case, but just hearing it all read to the jury for the first time and being able to make it public for the first time, yeah, it is hard. And as I said, for her family to have to sit through all of that detail, you know, they've come all this way and it's just, you know, the worst nightmare I imagine for any parent to have to go through this. And what was shocking is the accused went on another Tinder date after.

Yeah. So he met Grace on Tinder. And he, I think, you know, it's fair to say he was a user of Tinder and that's come out and he's not denied that. But yeah, he organised another date with another person the day after Grace died. Is she going to appear in this trial? The person

that the accused went on a date with? I believe there's a lot of witnesses who are going to give evidence about his behaviour and his character and that sort of thing. So we could very much hear from women who, you know, potentially have been on dates with him. I can't imagine being that person that went on a date afterwards.

How long is it expected? Because when they start a court case, they say, and it's expected to take this long, so how long is a family going to have to sit through? It's sit down for five weeks. But, I I mean we moved through the first day pretty quickly. So you know some days

will go longer than expected and some shorter so probably about a month I would say we're looking at which is you know and the family have said that they'll be here in court every day that they can. You know they've been briefed by police and the prosecutors so there's a no surprises policy there, I understand,

where the family know everything and, you know, in great detail. So everything we're hearing, they know and potentially have known for a while because they just want to be, you know, as prepared as possible to sit there and have to hear this. So we heard that there was a lot of the public, like lots of people were forced to stand. How many people would you estimate were there, public? Yeah, I mean, it's a huge courtroom. It's probably the biggest courtroom in Auckland that this trial's going ahead in, and there's a lot

of seating. And the public gallery was full. I mean, some of the people there were police, and obviously the family. But yeah, there were a lot of members of the public coming in to just, you know, see how it all works. And I guess, you know, Grace's death as a case has resonated with a lot of people. You know, Kiwis doing OEs, young women who go on dates, you know. The country was really, really shocked by this. So I think a lot of people have a huge interest in seeing the justice process part of this um the sad story man wow i just can't even imagine being there just even as one a member of the public i can't imagine going to watch something like that yeah it's certainly not pleasant sitting listening to you know the the fine

you know intimate details of someone's last hours um But, you know, that's the good thing about the justice process is all that information can come out and, you know, be sort of processed and dealt with. Right. Well, you take care of yourself because that must be a thing to sit through and hear all the details of. And thanks for popping in. Thank you.

Am I a bad person? This am I a bad person? This Am I a bad person is from someone we don't know. They haven't actually contacted the show. You just saw this online and thought this could be great for public opinion.

Yeah. I would love to know what everyone thinks because I don't think I'm agreeing with popular public opinion. Because everyone's like aghast at this whole situation

and you're like, I don't see the problem. Not really. I need some clarification. So what happened is that there is a bride. She has shocked her friends and family. She put up a Facebook post saying that she is going to postpone her wedding. So this is after she has received 30,000,

so that's like 47,000 New Zealand dollars in donations for her wedding. Who? What? Who donated to the wedding? Was this instead of presents? This is friends and family. So she said, we're having a wedding.

Who wants to donate to it? I thought you gave money like on the wedding day or... Well, no, you can give money on the wedding day or some people do like the honeymoon registry and then you donate to the honeymoon. Right. Or maybe in this case, she was taking money to actually help with the wedding.

Okay. But either way, she has a kitty, a bank account of $47,000 for her wedding. Yeah. And she put a post on Facebook and said, after much reflection and a tear-filled conversation with our closest family members, we've decided to cancel it. Now, she did stipulate that they're going to have a wedding.

They're still together? Yeah. Okay. We thank each and every one of you for your generous early donations to our money fund. Can you believe we've raised over $30,000?

Unbelievable. She should have kept that to herself. Yeah. Don't worry. The money, and here's the kicker, the money you've donated will not be spent in vain,

but rather used towards a honeymoon in the coming months. But you can't have a honeymoon before you get married. That's a holiday. That's just called a holiday. That's just a holiday. Well, I think that maybe they're just switching it around

and they're going to do like a honeymoon. So they're going to blow all the money on an amazing honeymoon and then what, just do a little ceremony? Yeah. No. You're using the money to offset honeymoon costs. No, no. And plan an even better future wedding.

No, no, no. Bad person. And plan an even better future wedding. No, no, no. Bad person. See, I think I'm like with warm. They took money for a purpose and then they've used it on not that purpose. God, it'd be like if you were fundraising online for, I don't know, you were sick. And then you were using it not for, you know, for holidays or something. But kind of, isn't the wedding and the honeymoon kind of lumped together? No, Megan.

No, no, no. If she gets married, she can't ask anyone for any money or presents or anything. Absolutely not. And all of those people should be invited because surely you only donate once you've received the invitation. Also, you've donated to what you think is going to be an amazing wedding. And it sounds like it'll just be some stripped back rubbish wedding. No, because she's promised an even better future wedding quote.

Oh, right. Okay. But, so this was a Facebook post. A family member of the groom has said, is this an effing joke? After raking in 30K, you decide to be greedy and use it all for yourselves? Yeah.

But that's, you're donating because you're like, well, that's going to be an event. It's going to be greedy and use it all for yourselves. But you're donating because you're like well, that's going to be an event. It's going to be a coming together, a ceremony. There's going to be food. This is the other thing. The bride's friend said is this a joke? Is the wedding really cancelled because I've already gotten time off for December 1, which is less than a month

away. So she did it like yeah. It's last minute. Last minute. Okay. Bad, bad person. But you don't think so Megan. Well I just think like they donated. You just can't ask for anything ever again from them.

For a future wedding. They can spend the money how they want. Well if you gifted it I kind of would lump the honeymoon and the wedding together. Yeah. But then I kind of would lump the honeymoon and the... Wedding together. Yeah. But then I guess if she was asking specifically for the wedding, I don't know. Okay, well, let's see if Megan's alone here. You can use the money from the wedding for the honeymoon,

but you don't take money pre-wedding for a wedding and use it on the honeymoon instead and then cancel the wedding. Unless you stipulate that it's for the honeymoon, right? Yeah, but it wasn't stipulated. Yeah. It was for the wedding. 0800DARLSAT M, text us 9696. Do you think this bride is a bad person? Maybe you've been in this situation before.

Yeah. Because weddings get postponed and cancelled a lot. Yeah, and maybe you did donate some money or they misused the money. Or maybe you get divorced and then people joke that they want their rice cooker and stuff back after they gave it to you. Has that happened to you?

No. Does it sound like it happened to me? You're like, I need to cook rice now that I'm single more than ever. All right, 0800DARMS.M9696. Is the bride a bad person? What do you think? Give us a call.

Am I a bad person? Okay, so there is a bride who collected 47,000 New Zealand dollars for her wedding is what she stipulated it to be for. She has postponed the wedding, so there will still be a wedding down the track,

but they are going to take the money that they collected for the wedding and they are going to use it for a honeymoon, which they're going to have before they get married. So, there are people texting in that I left out the fact that she's opened up. She said there will be a fund for you to put money in for the eventual wedding as well. She's opened up. But then you're missing the point.

You don't have to give more money. You don't have to give her more money. It's optional. But you're on her side. You're like, go for a honeymoon. I'm just kind of giving her the benefit of the doubt because you donated the money towards the couple.

I don't want to be not invited to the wedding. If I'm given money, I want catering. I'd say if you were invited to the wedding. And they get more people donating, yet they've still got to accommodate us early donators for the wedding.

You're saying that the early donators should be VIP. I just don't know how she got $47,000 from her friends and family. I know, your friends obviously are so rich it doesn't matter anyway, right? That's crazy money. It is. Vicky, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Hella bad person, I just have to say. I think she should give all the money back and then go on your lovely honeymoon at your cost

and then, you know, if people want to donate to a real wedding, you know, I want champagne and stuff at your wedding if I'm giving you money. Yeah, I'm with you, Vicky, because it'll be a cheap second wedding. It'll be a cheap post-honeymoon wedding. It'll be cheap. You don't go to a wedding,

you don't pay towards the couple. You do. Just because you're getting champagne. I want something out of it. I'm with Vicky on this one. Oh, you two are bad people. Oh, yeah, thanks for your call, Vicky. Vicky just wants to get plastered.

On champagne. And good champagne. Moet, please. Robin, what do you think? Is she a bad person? You know what? I'm on Megan's boat. Like, poor decision decision making, 100%.

I just think that they're actually mad about the fact that they don't get to go to a wedding now, which they still do, but they're mad because they're like, well, I paid for an event that I can go to and so now that their money is going to something that they can't also enjoy, so I

think they're actually being a bit selfish. I hope none of them listen because they're like, come to me. I do kind of agree with you. Yeah, because I think, because my friends are getting married at the end of this month and they've done the same thing. Like there's a little card and instead of a wedding gift, you can just donate money. And honestly, if they turn around and they said to me like, oh, hey, like, you know what? We're going to postpone the wedding.

We're just going to take the money you guys have given us and go on a holiday. I'd be like, do it. Like, go on. No. I'd be asking. Yeah, me too. I really would. I know you probably don't believe me, but I really would.

Because I donated money to them and their relationship and who they are. And I want all the best for them. I agree with you. I'd be asking for a refund and the card back. I'd want canapes. I agree with you. I'd want to throw some canapes card back. I'd want canapes. I agree with you. I'd want to try some canapes off at my house. Hey, Robin, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. Megan, you're a bad person for defending her. Okay. I'm just trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt. And also, your friends and family are absolutely going it. You gave money to someone you supposedly love for them and their relationship and now you're like, give it back because I'm not going to go get champagne. I just think that's a little bit

selfish. I mean, I'm not totally on her side. If this was a corporate world, it'd be misappropriating funds and it'd be prison. It would be. It would be. Somebody said, where's the groom stand on all this? I don't know. Quiet. The reason we're talking only about the bride is because she's the one who did the post

and he's like cowering in the corner maybe. So please, I'll do whatever you like. Just canapes? Are we getting canapes? Can I bring some canapes? Somebody said this happened to them. It was expected. I don't know what it says.

It's expected in our culture that everybody chips in for the wedding. Everybody chipped in for the wedding and then the wedding got cancelled but they just went on like a lavish trip. Sweet. Were they not expected to give the money back? Well, I don't know

if they were expected to but they certainly didn't. I'd say that. Oh, it's just a culture thing. I have to keep all this money. Soz. Culture, guys. You know?

What? Do you want to be a racist over there? What? What? Okay you want to be a racist over there? What? What? Okay. Someone on the same race as? I'm so confused.

I can refund you, but you're a racist if I do. I have to put it on the bank transfer. So when you go for a mortgage, they'll say too. That you're a racist. Yeah. All right. Thanks for your text messages and your calls. She's a bad person.

No, would you say 95% of people saying bad person? I'd say 99. 99. There you go, Megan. That's quite telling and confronting for you also. I was just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, guys. Next on the show, guys, she's got a book. And Matilda, it's not Rice anymore.

It's Matilda Green. Matoodles. Matoodles is coming in. Her book, The Feel Good Guide, Easy Steps Towards a Happier, More Fulfilled You. She's coming in to Her book, The Feel Good Guide. Easy steps towards a happier, more fulfilled you. She's coming in to talk about this. Do you want an excerpt? Yep.

Here's a picture of her and Art on a paddle board. Stand-up paddle board. I wish Anya was here. I wish intern Anya was here because remember she brought that stand-up paddle board. Use it twice. Both of them on one paddle board. No, one H. Separate paddle boards.

One H, yeah. Is there anything they can't do? Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast.

Special guest joins us in the studio right now to talk about her new book. The Feel Good Guide, Every Step Towards a Happier, More Fulfilled You, Matilda Green. Oh, not rice. Not rice anymore. Good morning. Good morning. Thanks for having me. This is your second book? Book number two. Yep, book number two. Second time published author. I love saying that. It's quite fun. Have you thought about when you come into the country, because I filled in the form the other day on Tuesday, writing author where it's got occupation? That's a good idea because I never know what to write

because, you know, like obviously I don't have a real job being social media. So I just kind of write self-employed. But I'm going to start writing author. That sounds a bit more. Author, yes. Sounds very good. Sounds a bit more legit. I feel then they'd be like, what are your books?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Then you've got to go into it and, you know, it's almost easier to just say self-employed or blogger or something. Blogger. Yeah. I feel like if you put blogger, you're getting the rubber glove. Yeah.

I feel like you're definitely going to be on the list. Yeah. This book, there are so many photos in this book. Yes, there are lots of photos. I feel like you've cheated. This is like making it a size 18 font on an essay. Well, you've got to pad it out somehow, you know. Right.

But then like so many of these, how long did a photographer follow you around? So the photographer is actually art sister, Emily. Okay. And that took us probably two weeks. Because this photo I'm about to reference, this is under a subheading glasses half full. This is at least three quarters full. I'd say so, yeah.

That's because we're ever the optimists, aren't we, Michelle? Ever the optimists. What else was involved in writing this book? We always see you happy and smiley, but like there's moments in this book where, you know, you're not and it's about finding your way to being there. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think like that's the key thing is that just because somebody seems happy

and smiley or if they put happy things on Instagram or something like that, it doesn't actually mean that they're perfectly positive all the time. So I think that's an attitude in New Zealand, well, globally really, that we really have to change. But yeah, so writing the book, I basically just wanted to share experiences that helped me in the hopes that they can help other people because, yeah, I think with social media shoved down our throats,

our self-esteem takes a bit of a pounding. We should have a day. This is a joint effort now. Because you were here when this idea was conceptualised. Okay. Where we all put up a really bad, like, photo. Like, bad photo day. Like, a photo where it actually reflects a part of our day that we don't usually promote.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But I guess because the thing is like it's human nature to want to share positive things. Yeah, 100%. You know, and like not want to share negative things. And I totally get that. But then at the same time, I think that we have to just change our mindset to be able to deal with it because it was fine when it was just like your family's photo album of

like happy moments. Yeah. But because we're on Instagram and social media for like at least two hours a day most New Zealanders we need to figure out a way to kind of deal with it a bit more. I don't go into like the comment sections

and stuff because those people. It's a good idea not to. Have problems. It's a good idea not to. Have problems. It's an angry place. But do you ever like see that? Does that ever leak into the comments on your photos that you see? Are there any days where you and Art are like people today? Quite a lot. Yeah.

But, you know, on our Instagrams, it's not too bad. We don't get that much hate. And if we do, I just block them straight away. Now I don't even care. Yeah. But it's more the comments on like news articles that are really, you know, that's a really angry place. And so I don't even read them.

I just steer well clear of them because I know exactly what they'd say. Like, who? You know, so I just completely ignore them. But it took me a long time to be able to do that because I think it's like an ego thing. Like you kind of want to know what people are saying about you but now I've realised that it doesn't matter you know like what's the point

you actually don't want to know what people are saying or doing or thinking so what's next then because the feel good guide the lazy girls guide to living a beautiful life what's the next book and when I stop at two look at for example JK Rowling. It's true.

She didn't stop at two. She kept on going, didn't she? She did. You know, I don't know. I'd quite like to write something about motherhood and parenting once I have a little bit more experience under my belt, because at the moment I'm only two months in. That's kind of a short book. But at some stage, I'd really

like to talk more about that. And how is that going? Milo's out. He is. He's not screaming. Milo gave me the side eye. Yeah, Milo. Who's this guy when I walked in? Red Fletcher's vibe.

He can tell that you're not into babies. Yeah. Yeah. I know what that guy's deal is. Yeah. No, it's going really well. He's just such a cool little guy. I just love him so much.

Matilda, thanks so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. And if you want to win the Feel Good Guide, you can go to our FVMZM Facebook to win one right now. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Our very own producer, Caitlin, is drawing parallels with a celebrity, Emma Watson.

My idol, Emma Watson. She has said in an interview with British Vogue, because she's dating at the moment, so she said, I'm dating, yeah. Not one specific person, but I'm going on dates. And she said, I never believed the whole I'm happy single spiel. I was like, this is totally a spiel.

It's a spiel. But it took me a long time, but I'm very happy being single. I call it being self-partnered. And that's where the internet reacted. And some people were like, this is great. I'm all about being self-partnered, said someone on Twitter. I'm happy and single just because I'm nearing 30

doesn't mean that I need to be married with kids. Thanks for coming up with the phrase. Because she is finding the joy that some people get out of cohabitating and co-living with someone. She is getting everything she needs herself. Right. And it's, I draw a parallel or a comparison to when Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow broke up. And they said, we're not divorcing.

We're not breaking up. We're consciously uncoupling. Yeah. And you know, at the time, we're all like, you guys are crazy. Like, you've been playing around with your goopies, whatever. You know, she's a bit weird, isn't she? Playing around with her. You know, she's got a goop website.

And her yoni balls and all those weird kind of things. And a freshly steamed vagina. And we're all just like, you're weird. But now. You're weird. You're weird. I find you weird. She's different to what you.

You're different. But now we kind of see that as like, kind of a good thing, right? That was kind of a good way of putting it. I guess there's a certain type of idea that comes with like divorce and breaking up and if that wasn't what they thought. Same with the stigma of being single. Yeah.

That you can't be happy if you're single. Someone said it shows a deep sense of self-sufficiency. Just to be a good partner to yourself that way you won't settle for anything less. So producer Caitlin, who's single some people didn't hear that news when we told people the other week. They were a bit shocked. I know and like

it's lovely, like thanks for checking on me but that's another thing why it's so good with what Emma said because I hate when people are like, oh no, I'm so sorry. Like, I thought that was it for you. Like, I thought you were going to get married. I thought that was it for you.

Like, that was going to be really good. I wonder where they got that idea from. It's not like you jumped on the bus and all. Yeah, I know. No, but I, yeah, I'm actually Emma Watson because I'm turning 30 next year. I'm also going on dates and I also play a Harry Potter cast member.

Yes, you do. But this is great. I'm loving the new dates and I also play a Harry Potter cast member. Yes, you do. But this is great. I'm loving the new term. That's me. I'm self-partnered. So some people are eye-rolling being like, what's wrong with just saying you're single? Using the word self-partnered has given pressure,

has given into the pressure that she claims to be avoiding. Her logic isn't stacking up. Just call yourself single. But then maybe it'll stop people saying, oh, you're single. But who... Like, why do people have to have an opinion all the time on things?

Like, stopping, like... Like, who cares if you're single? Who cares if you're... Like, stop saying things. Just let people be. She can call herself what she wants to call herself. Yeah. Why does everyone have to put, like, a stigma on it

or, like, a wording, a name? Because otherwise you wouldn't be able to call herself. Yeah. Why does everyone have to put like a stigma on it or like a wording, a name? Because otherwise you wouldn't be able to identify it. Like it needs a name. Things need names. It's like if this chair

didn't have a name. I'm sitting on this sitting thing. But I'm not. It's a bit different, Vaughn. But no, like I'm not who I am because I'm single

or because I'm self-partnered or because I'm married. Yeah. I'm just me. No, but youpartnered or because I'm married. Yeah. No, but you are because you could be like, hey, Vorn, I'm all going to go sleep with prostitutes.

Are you in? And I'm like, well, no, because I'm married. No, or you could say no because I don't want to because people that are married probably still do

sleep with prostitutes. She's got a good point there. People that are married sleep with prostitutes. Do you want to get a note from your wife or is this just legally? Do whatever you want. I'm just saying there doesn't need your wife or is this just legally? Do whatever you want.

I'm just saying there doesn't need to be a name. You just said do whatever you want. Well, obviously you can't. Exactly I can't. You can't sleep with prostitutes. You just can't expect your marriage to survive. Moralistically.

But I get what she's saying because if you are single for a long time, people do say that, you know, it's just the way they say it. Because the last person that said that to me was like, oh, single, how's it, have you been seeing anyone? And, you know, I was like, well, your boyfriend's cheating on you,

so, I mean, it's quite ironic. But if you want to, like, take that tone with me, sure. They're like checking it on their Mayday. They're like, you're a roommate, you live alone, are you okay? And you're like, your on their mate They're like You're a mate You live alone Are you okay? And you're like Your boyfriend's cheating on you

I'm like What? So I'm not in a relationship But your relationship's a sham Yeah so I mean If you were to cast judgement on me Being single Sure

I mean I didn't say that to them But I'm thinking it And just smiling Yeah no I'm happy It's just Yeah It's the fact that everyone's expected to It's just, yeah, it's the fact that everyone's expected to be in a lifelong

partnership and that's the end goal. Maybe that's not the end goal for everyone. I highly recommend dating. Oh, really? Why is that? Just to be open and loving. No, I'm just

saying you probably could have carpooled her the other morning Excuse me Who could have? Were you at my house? Wait, is Caitlin sleeping with Mr. Joyball? I will fight you Go to the song This will be discussed

I'm in trouble I think everybody bar me is in trouble. I love it. You wanted to sleep with prostitutes. No, I said I didn't want to. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about jellyfish. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- It's a warty comb jellyfish or the sea walnut. Okay. Good question because I've been seeing a lot of like really cool Instagram posts of people with jellyfish and fish tanks.

No, they're fake, aren't they? Are they fake? Because I was like, I'd get a fish tank if I could have jellyfish. Oh, no, that's not. And you have like neon lights that look real cool. No, those are fake. But also like you just ordered something out of one of those shitty catalogs. But no. This is the

2019 version of like a wolf howling at the moon and then you flick on a light behind it so it looks like the moon's actually reflecting.

But aren't jellyfish like big sea creatures? Nah, they come in all shapes and sizes mate. You don't put a car why in your fish tank? It's got nowhere to go. Maybe it's a little

bit jellyfish. They grow to their surroundings. If there's no room they won't keep growing. And then they know they get to the end of the tank and they's got nowhere to go. Maybe it's a little bit jellyfish. They grow to their surroundings. If there's no room, they won't keep growing. And then they know they get to the end of the tank and they just go the other way. Oh my God.

But they only have a one second memory. They're like goldfish. Oh, you're confusing everything. You're just thinking everything in the sea is as dumb as a goldfish.

But is it not? Or octopus. Squids. Yes, they're goldfish. I know. I saw an octopus when I was snorkelling change colour.

That was real cool. Yeah. To the same colour as the rocks. Oh, because it was like predator. Yeah. Camouflage. It obviously had heard. I was just shocked it saw my wife.

Unbelievable. Oh, shit. I've heard about this guy. I'm changing colour. Hey, can I stop being roasted and get on with your facts? No. So the watercumb jellyfish, this was only just discovered this year. It has what is called a transient anus.

I was just about to have a quick bite of my banana. Lucky you didn't. So the jellyfish, it eats. Now regular jellyfish, they eat and release the waste out the same food. Much like us.

In one hole, out the other. The anus stays where the anus has always been. We get it. However, the warty-crowned jellyfish has what is known as a transient anus and it just opens up and puts out the waste wherever it needs to. So say if it was us and I was in a seat and I was like, well, I can't poop that way.

I'll poop out me elbow. Or your outfit. Wait, you've got an anus on your elbow? Well, it's transient. It can be wherever's convenient. Surely there's got to be an opening.

No, no, this is what a transient anus is. But how does your, like, because it's not just your anus. It's the bits connected. So like, how does your intestines just your anus. It's the bits connected. So, like, how does your intestines and everything move around? It's not like ours.

This is a jellyfish, though. A whole different setup. But usually. Right. Yeah. They have a pore, I guess, is what it's more like. Like, you know when you squeeze a pimple? Yeah.

That's what a regular jellyfish is like. But surely there's got to be something in there and then it's not. There's got to be some time from the jellyfish brain to say, okay, this is where we're going to put it out, and then it would all have to move there inside, right? No, because they're so tiny, and it just accumulates, and it's like quickest way out. The most energy efficient way at the moment is just to put it out over there.

The poo is under the ice shelf, and it sees the little hole where someone's gone fishing, and it goes up there. It's a good analogy. But it's not poo like we know it. Okay. It's digested food. Okay.

Right. Yeah. It's just a little weight. It's not like the jellyfish is swimming along and then all of a sudden it's like, uh-oh. And then out of its forehead you just see this brown lump start forming. And then this little transient anus is like, only me. And then a poo goes. Oh, do they not decide where it comes out?

I think it's just the, oh no. No, no. They don't think like that. So they also don't have the consciousness where they could be like, that's transient anus roulette. You're on a date and you're like,

oh no. Oh no. Imagine if you had a disease and they're like, we can fix this. You've got to be genetically spliced with a woody comb jellyfish. Now nothing's going to change apart from

having a transient anus. You'll have a transient anus. Absolutely not. As long as I can pick like not above and not above armpit. Armpit down maybe but just not like head and shoulders. Imagine being at the beach and it just opens

on your knee. And you're like oh not now, not now, not now. Just roll over and put your knee in your knee. And you're like, oh, not now, not now, not now, not now. Just roll over and put your knee in the sand. And you're running for the ocean, but because it's on your knee, it doesn't function as normal. You're running with one straight leg and one bent leg. Not now, transient heinous. God, it's going to make job interviews awkward, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, especially because you panic. You're a little bit freaked out. It might come out of anywhere. So today's fact of the day is the wartcomb jellyfish does not have a full-time anus. It has what is known as a transient anus. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast. Yes, thank you, Carl, Peter Fletcher.

I'd like to address Megan. Louise. Rosella, pop a double F. You forgot her middle name. For a moment, yes. It's my Instagram handle. It's there all the time. Magoo Goo, I believe.

Oh, Magoo Goo. Remember when we used to call you Magoo Goo? Yeah. So for the last, this has just happened. What are you doing on your phone? Do you want to pay attention? No, I literally just have one word to type to finish this text. Hey, you start talking and he picks up his phone.

No, please, we'll wait. We'll wait. What does the text say? Ha, ha, ha. No, I just need to send this one text. What does the text say? You put it, ha. No, I just needed to send this one text. What does the text say? You put it on, everyone. We're all waiting.

No, it just says, I was just like, I'll see you tonight. Oh. Did you put ha, ha, ha at the end of that? No, and then something else, but it doesn't matter. It's not a bad text. I'm just not going into personal details. Okay, okay. Well, we had a dinner with some friends of ours last Friday.

I know, weird. I left the house and it was to see people. I'm as shocked as you are. That is shocking. Why? They asked us. Free dinner? Yes, free dinner.

And because you don't want to cook in the caravan. Oh, yeah. That's why. Great dinner, yeah. Okay, so we figured you out. It was actually beneficial. But no, it was good. It was good.

It turns out I can socialise. We got on to talking about parents, like our parents and how they're getting a bit older and everything. And I started ragging on Sade's dad because it's one of my favourite pastimes. Has he been staying recently? No, there's no room for him to stay. It's wonderful. I always think we'd live in this caravan and renovate forever.

No, he's a good guy. But he's notoriously frugal, isn't he? Very frugal. He has quirks. For example, rather than just parking his car at the airport while he was away, he drove past the airport, 45 minutes past the airport to our house, picked up Sade, she drove him back to the airport another 45 minutes, then she drove back home

another 45 minutes. Yeah. So two hours and a quarter of extra travelling. Yeah. Just because he didn't want to pay for parking at the airport and he made us look after his car

while he was gone. Right. Then when he came back, we drove to the airport, picked him up, he drove us back, dropped us off, and then he drove back

past the airport to his house. But isn't that like a tank of gas? Probably adds up to it. Yeah. But he can afford to park at the airport is the point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, we were just talking about different things like that and Rachel, our friend said, and this blew my mind, her dad boils the jug

one time in a day. In the morning, gets up, boils the jug. When it's boiled, he makes his cup of tea, and then he fills up a giant thermos that sits beside the jug and puts the lid on. That jug is not to be boiled again for the rest of the day as there's hot water in the thermos. And if you use all the hot water in the thermos,

you've had too many cups of tea. It's not World War III. So I have been blown away by this. I've been talking to different people about it. And have you been paying attention? I was telling everybody there in PAX society, it was like, oh yeah, my parents did the same thing. Every morning, boil the jug once.

The thermos gets filled up. You take the hot water from the thermos. And there's a real, if you have guests and the hot water all gets used, there's a real, I'll just go without. Like one of them sacrifices having a coffee or something. How much does it cost to boil a jug? I don't know, but I'm shocking.

People must hate me. I walk past a jug. I'm like, I'll have a cup of coffee, flick it on, walk away, get distracted, come back, be like, oh, that needs to be boiled again because it was half an hour ago. So I flick it on, boil it. Then I start preparing my coffee with the incense and the honey and the thing. And then I go back

and it clicks and I look at it and I'm like, click and turn it back on until it boils and clicks off again. Then sometimes I just do it a third time.

Trustpower.co.nz were asked, this is Google that I found, an electric jug is a quarter of a unit. So that's five to 12 cents per boil. But that's from nothing.

That's from nothing. If you were just like boiling something that was still kind of hot from when you boiled it last time. Or you got hot water at the tap. It's next to nothing. Like just boil the jug. It's 10 cents. And this is how they think. Over my lifetime,

when they started doing this ages ago, you know, that's gonna add up. And that's the game. It's these small savings. But they were also taught these things by their parents who actually did live in a war and through great recessions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when we get a great recession, we're going to be having to do this

and screwed because we'll be boiling the jug every half an hour. Or we'll buy our way to the recession. How do we do that? I don't know, but I reckon we could tick up. I reckon this generation could definitely put a recession on a credit card. 100%. And pay it off. Not really.

Pay it off. And just keep digging ourselves a hole. My parents don't really have anything like that. They'll just boil the jug. Yeah, I'm just trying to think. Oh no, mum loves turning off the TV at night at the actual TV. She doesn't like a red dot on anything. No standby. My parents turn off their mobile phones to charge them

because there's no point charging it while it's using power. Turn it off to charge it because that's just absolutely wasteful. Does everyone pay for grey water in this country? Because I know my parents pay for grey water. So they don't, like, used water. So mum collects everything, like washing machines, she'll disconnect the pipe and save all that

water and water the garden with it. And then she, when you're heating up the shower... Then she gets a little bit of fluff and material and personal and a bit of cabbage. She doesn't care. And then, like, there's buckets in the shower for you to collect all the cold water when you're waiting for it to go hot. But I thought, and this is how our grey water used to work, they'd just work out how much you took and then charge you for how much you took. Don't tell mum that.

Because you mustn't have to get rid of it. No, there's a metre on the outpipers in there. Not where we used to live. Oh, don't tell mum that. You'll shatter her teeth. Really? I thought there was a metre on the out. Sewage. No, because then if your rainwater runs into,

I mean, not your rainwater, but if like water that you got from somewhere else runs into it, you can't be. But then you're using less anyway because you're not watering the garden as much. Exactly. Because you're using that. Yes, right. That's where she's saving money, on the water in.

I think this would be a great time to rag on our parents and their real tight-ass money-saving tips. Maybe you've got a parent like this that boils the jug once and then thermoses the hot water. I'm definitely not too far away from turning into this person. Yeah, Mrs. In winter, you're freezing to death and you're like, we'll put the heat pump on for one hour because it's free.

And I have showers in the dark because I don't want to, like, turn on the light. That's dangerous for a woman your age. Excuse me. It is. Mind you, it also gives you a good backstory for when you get like a shampoo bottle stuck up your bum. You're like, oh no, I slipped

in the shower. A&E will never believe that anyway. A shower in the dark saved money. You ordered your latest Powerbill you sent in the group chat last month. It was the lowest ever, 50 bucks. 50 bucks. There's only two of us.

I don't even think my power bill was that when I was away for four weeks. We do that in a few days. All right, 0800DARZ.M, give us a call or text 9696.

What are your parents or even grandparents real tight ass money saving tips or things that they do at home that you can share with us now? We're talking about your parents money saving tips. We might scoff at them but maybe, it's probably become a habit

but they've saved themselves some sense along the way. Some text messages. My dad will only use aircon in the car when he's driving down a big hill. Because aircon uses the petrol too quick. So when you're going downhill, chuck on the air con, do your cooling. Turn it off when you get to the bottom when the car needs to really start running on its own. It makes no sense at all.

It just makes no sense. My mum would bulk up mints by mincing up oats and stuff. Oh, yeah, that's a classic. Filler. My sisters can't have mints anymore. Oh, yeah, that's a classic. Filler. My sisters can't have mince anymore. They're so traumatised by it. Because it became like a mincey porridge. Oh, yeah, okay.

Yeah, that's when your mince to oats ratio is a bit out of whack. Yeah. Two stories about picking up clothes off the side of the road. My grandad used to pick up clothes off the side of the road and pass them off as gifts after he'd washed them. So that's... But another one, my uncle owns a construction company and whenever he sees a high-vis vest

on the side of the road, which when you look, far more often than you think. You know why? It's because tradies tie them onto the end of like big loads. Yeah. Or chuck them on the back of a truck and then it blows off. But he used to pull over and pick them up off the motorway and wash them and give them to any new employees.

Saving on buying the new employees a high-vis vest. Old Nana Merle would use her teabags until they had no colour and then dry them out and use them as fire starters. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Lots of stories of tea bags being reused. Just use the junk mail to start the fire. Yeah, that's how that works. Yeah. Alice, your parents' money-saving tip? My dad used to water down the tomato sauce. So without us knowing, when it was about halfway through the bottle,

he'd top it up with water and shake it up and mix it in. But we'd always know when he'd done it because when you get that first squirt of tomato sauce, it would just be this watery mess that would end up on your plate. Premature sauculation. Yeah. That's what it's called. I've been known to do this with sweet chilli sauce,

but only because sometimes it's too thick and I like to water it down and it's quite sugary. So then it goes easier on like salads and stuff. Right. But it's not a money-saving thing. Like, I don't care about that. Yeah. To be fair, I don't think we would have saved much on the food shopping bill by watering down the sauce.

No, because you just use twice as much. Exactly. Hey, Alyssa, thanks for your call. Sarah, what's your parents' money-saving tip? Well, my mum, she never wastes an ounce of food. She will reuse whatever is left and make some amazing meal out of whatever food you have left over from the night before or the night before that.

There's leftovers of leftovers. Yeah, I think current there's leftovers of leftovers. Yeah, I don't see. I think current generations are bad at leftovers. The food wastage in New Zealand's terrible, isn't it? I know. It's huge. It's huge, yeah. Speak for yourself.

There's never any leftovers at our house. Hey, Sarah, thanks for your call. Sam, what do your parents do to save some money? It's unbelievable. My dad is too tight to pay for heating in the winter, so he runs the gas hob during the day because he said that's exactly the same as having a gas fireplace. Never mind the fact the whole house smells like gas.

It's ridiculous. Yeah, I was going to say, those gas hobs do leak a bit of gas. I feel like there's some escape. Yeah, you walk into the house and you're like, oh, Dad, what are you doing? And he's like, no, it's exactly the same as having a gas fireplace. No different, and it's so much cheaper.

Now come here, little dragon, and let me patch your scales and steal your gold. Dad, open a window. I should. Yeah. But also the heat would be in the kitchen too. It wouldn't be in the lounge. Oh, they've got a big open plan living space.

So, you know, it heats the whole house. He's sort of everything. Sam, thanks for your call. Somebody said, my nana, an 80-year-old Scotswoman, turns her car off at the start of the driveway so it will just roll down into the garage. That's apparently to save petrol. Yeah, right.

If it doesn't make it to the garage, she gets out and pushes it into the garage. 80. 80, wow. 80. My mum will scoff at people who boil the jug once and stick it in the thermos. Before she goes to bed every night, she turns off every single appliance in the house at the wall and unplugs it. She usually just turn it off at the wall, but someone told her that the power can still sneak in.

Amazing. My mum soaks any unmarked stamps On letters and parcels she receives So the stamp comes off And then she dries them and uses a glue stick To reattach it to new letters Slowed down a bit lately Sometimes she doesn't stamp it right

Does it? Do you get away with it? Yeah, sometimes it goes a bit crooked and the mark goes underneath it Somebody said My mother Lives somewhere where the only option for rubbish is you have to buy rubbish bags from the supermarket. Yeah. So rather than that, she goes for a walk every day and puts her rubbish in all the public bins.

Oh, you'd have to get rid of all trace of you if you're dumping in public rubbish bins. If you can get into the bin, you're okay. But if you don't, just never dump it beside the bin if it's got a bill in there or anything that could bring it back to you. My dad refused to let the wheelie

bin go every week because he paid on how many times it was picked up, not every week. So he would stomp it and compact it down. He would stand on top of the wheelie bin and stomp it and compact it down he would stand on top of the wheelie bin and stomp it and compact it down and so when the truck came it would have a solid brick of rubbish

and the truck guy would literally use that little arm thing to shake it until it would just shhh tonk hey you're getting

your money's worth though yeah ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Bree and Clint to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.