ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 11 2019

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

Shocking news from Megan this morning, Don't Get Fletch Started and your car whoopsies.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome back to the show, Anya, after your little holiday. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan here on a Monday. Thanks. Megan, you've been in Melbourne. Yeah. It was freezing. It was crazy. Way colder than, well, Auckland. It's all over the place.

Melbourne, I wonder, it's like 82 degrees Celsius. And then the next day it's half a degree Celsius. Yeah. I went and saw some of the artists who are performing at Friday Jams Live. And seeing 50 Cent on stage is really just something. Oh, I'm excited to see him. So good.

And his Black Eyed Peas are amazing. I don't want to like, there's G-Unit stuff in there. Right. Who was your favourite out of all? Because Black Eyed Peas I'd imagine would be amazing. Black Eyed Peas were so good because I saw them at the Big Day eight years ago and it was better than that. Jason Derulo.

He was great. You'd just expect. He has some dances and stuff. What about this up and comer, Yanit Jackson? I believe it's a soft J. Yanit. I didn't see Janet because I was hanging backstage with Will.i.am. So I didn't actually get to see Janet.

So I'm just looking at the weather forecast for Sunday, looking at a high of 22 degrees, 16, partially cloudy, and the chance of precipitation later in the evening, 32%. That's low percentage. Early days, either side of Saturday, either side of Sunday is, yeah, looking fine. Okay, that's good. Fingers crossed we're looking for a good day.

Like last year, I think it was fine all day, wasn't it? Yeah. And then it rained when everyone got home and we were all like fuel. Yeah. We got Friday jams out of the way and then we were like, well, that's good for the lawn. Yeah, exactly. That's what we did. That's good for the garden.

It's always good that we get Western Springs lawn looking lush for the next event. Yes. Really bounce back after all that trotting. Now, we're going to give away some monies soon. Producer Caitlin's coming in. How many monies? Caitlin, we're giving away some monies soon, aren't we? Yes.

Okay. Give me the piece of... No, that one. This one. Yes, yes. You've got to listen out for an activator. Okay. What's an activator?

It's a thing that plays and says dial ZM now. I knew. I knew that. Oh, but you were playing dumb for the audience. You betcha.

God, you're great. Thanks. Fine, how you doing? Probably shouldn't have followed up with pointing out exactly what I'd just done but you know that. If that happens, go on.

Anyway, listen out for that. We'll explain how it all works later. Once Fletcher's read that I've got to read. There's like 10 pages of things to read here, so we'll digest that. Do you know your top six, Hephorn? No idea.

How far away is that? Oh, easy. Just before seven. Happy Monday, everyone. Hey, Suvke. Did you bring us back duty free? No. You're one to talk.

Mr. Travels all the time never brings back duty free. No, no, no. It's a work trip. Travels all the time never brings back 23. No, no, that's a work trip. You have to bring back a Toblerone. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. I've found three news headlines, three stories. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories.

And Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines only. Headline one, Home Invader lucks out, picks war re-enactors home. Oosh. Headline two, man's cellmate sucks. And headline three, a chicken walks into a bar.

The chicken walking into the bar I think I saw was an Irish bar and they put a Guinness down, eh? And it pecked at it. Chanting it. They were likecked at it. Oh, it drank the... Chanting it. They were like chanting the chicken. Oh, see, I saw a headline where it was like, chicken chugs a beer. But did it not chug it?

Oh, it like pecked in. It was like, chickens can't chug. How would it chug? It needs to... I thought it would put a beak in and be like... Nah, they're like, kind of like the hands to get the drink up, don't they? Yeah.

Hold the glass. Finally automated our chickens' water. Oh, what do you mean? So I was having to fill up like this little thing for them to drink out of, but now I bought these little cups that you drill a little hole in like a big bucket or a container and you screw them in. And then they peck to drink the water and they knock a little yellow thing that lets more water in. Huh, and they know how to do that? and they knock a little yellow thing that lets more water in. Huh.

And they know how to do that? Well, I'd push their heads in it. I had to teach them. I was like, look, peck, peck, peck. I would love to have seen the video of you doing that. I can get another video of me teaching the chickens. No, don't do that. Because they don't know yet.

It's quite funny, Graham. And it's just like, what is it? What was it? Sade's like, you're pretty much waterboarding a chicken because you're shoving its face underwater. I was like, no, it's just the end of its beak. But they know to do it.

Have you watched them do it? They peck at the yellow thing. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's all right. That's cool. You've got quite advanced chickens.

Quite advanced. Jeez. Yeah. There's a rat in the chicken house. Oh, what are you going to do? Trap. Cassette traps. How do you know?

Did you put a camera in there? Yeah. Yeah, look, do you want to see a little footage of it sticking its little nose in? Because there's like a little diggy hole, there was like a little diggy hole and I've been putting bricks against it. Yeah.

But it digs under the brick as well. I'm like, we've got a clever situation here. You know that you don't need to do that because they could literally run through the mesh in the run and get in. Well, there's like metal. Yeah. Like that's stuck into the ground. They had to dig quite a way under that.

Oh, right. Would a rat eat your chicken? I don't know. I think it's coming in for the food. No, I think it's coming in for the food. Look, look at it stick its little nose out. Which, yeah, look. Look at this little stupid little face.

Yeah. Look at it. It's like, what have we got going on in here? Again, Vaughan Smith diverting his home security cameras to his chicken hut. Yeah, but we were home last night. There's a one time. I'm not leaving it in there when we go away. I've got to keep an eye on that rat.

Yeah, because the one time you get robbed, all your cameras are in your chicken hut. Imagine having to explain that to insurance. I think you said you had a monitored home security program. My chicken's home. God, the rat. Oh, I stopped him in his tracks. Okay, so which story do you want? We've gone down a chicken tangent.

Do you want Man's Cellmate Sucks or Home Invader Lux Out? Home Invader Lux Out? I want Man's... Man's Cellmate Sucks. You want that one? Yeah. That one? Yeah. That one? Yeah.

Okay, all right, sweet. Okay. We go now to America and Pennsylvania. Lawrence Township Police responded to a man struggling to walk down a motorway at the end of last week. Okay. He had a vacuum cleaner with him

and he was seen walking the white line of the highway with his vacuum cleaner, so down the middle, and apparently was very intoxicated. So they arrested him after they found out he had a warrant for unpaid fines and apparently they locked him up with his vacuum cleaner in the prison cell. That's all the story.

They didn't take the vacuum cleaner off him? They didn't take the vacuum, yeah, because you'd think there would be some kind of like suicide risk maybe or... Or like a weapon. A harm, a weapon. That's all the story said. They didn't take the vacuum cleaner off him. They didn't take the vacuum... Yeah, because you'd think there would be some kind of, like, suicide risk, maybe, or... Or, like, a weapon. A harm, a weapon. You could turn it into...

Because you get the attachment. Or, like, what's in there? The skin attachment for the blinds or the wall bits. Yeah. Do you ever use those? I'm like, not really. Nah, not really. Just close enough.

Take the end off. Yeah. Did they get any explanation as to what he was up to walking down the middle of the road? Absolutely not. Just taking his vacuum cleaner for a walk. Wouldn't he have the wheels for asphalt? No, you'd really muck your vacuum cleaner up, wouldn't you?

Like, their wheels suck. Vacuum cleaners' wheels suck at the best of times. Made for the open road, mate. No, even just like on carpet or you go to pull it and it goes, no, not today. It'll spin around on its side and then fall over.

Yeah. Stupid thing. There's been some research that was released on National Cat Day in the UK. That's October 29, but did you know

International Cat Day is actually the 8th of August. We missed that too. Oh, we missed that too. Yeah. I don't know if New Zealand has a National Cat Day. Well, we should do. Do we?

I don't know. I'm not aware. I just assume we go with the internationally agreed upon. August the 8th. Yeah. Yeah, right. Must be a UN sanction. Yeah.

So the researchers found that cat people, people who own a cat, spend 1,016 hours with their cat every year. But then, like, what is that? Just being on the couch and your cat's there? Or do you have to be giving it? Is that specified attention time? It doesn't specify, like, how in-depth the attention is. It would be, like, hanging out.

That's three hours a day, though. Yeah, but that would, if you're watching TV and they're there, that counts, right? And you're giving them pats. Yeah. Yeah, okay. That counts.

And then the big one is they spend, well, they take seven photos of the cat every day. Seven a day? Yeah. Just trying to think, when I had a cat that might have been seven a day. There'd be some days that you might do. Seven different photos or seven like trying to get the same one, do you think?

Well, probably trying to get the same because they always move, don't they? Yeah. Stupid cats. That's a lot. This is quite nice though. 51% of cat owners, that's almost half, have rescued their cats either from a shelter, from a friend or from a cat specific rescue place. That's Vaughan, because he's woke. Yeah, so woke.

He's too cheap to buy a pedigree. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Because they're expensive. Are you talking about beer? Where did Anakin come from? Anakin was the same situation. He was a stray cat. A vet had found him. It was $58, and he's still going.

That's a good return. That's a good, that's good return. That's really good. That's a couple of dollars a year. We got him in 2005. He'll be 15 next year. 15. And he's still going for 58 bucks.

And that's surprising I didn't give him some kind of heart disease when I looked after him when you went to Thailand. Yeah. Because he wouldn't fit in the cat door

and he wouldn't hold me off. Very, very fat. He was very young when he got fat, so he's bounced back. Yeah, yeah. That was like two weeks and he got obese. Good lord. Well, because I kept feeding him because he was cute. And I was like, well, you want more food?

You do well to put your cat through periods of hardship. Like, it ate a lot there, but then like now he'll stand at the door meowing at night and I'll open it a little bit so he thinks he's getting in and I throw water in his face. Didn't you buy that time sprinkler? The motion sprinkler? No, the motion sensing sprinkler. Did that work? Yeah. We're renovating so we're outside

but it doesn't move to outside. Plus I go with it. There's only one door to get in and out so I would literally get like hammered by the sprinkler every time I went out there. You'd forget. Yeah, on the way to work. Poor Anakin.

He's literally elderly and you're treating him like that. No, I mean... He's like, I'm cold, please let me in. Well, they're not like parents, Megan. You can't ship them off to a home, a cat home. No. They can't be in the cold too because it hurts his joints. No, I put them in the garage. his joints No I put them in the garage

Put them in the garage and shut the door And that way the garage is like mouse free as well So you know good luck It's all win win If you have siblings You're pretty I shouldn't speak for everybody but you probably don't mind A little bit of a rag on only children

Partly because they always had like the cool stuff. Everything. Yeah, yeah. They didn't have to share. The full attention of their parents. They never got bullied by their brother. They had better Christmas presents. Because their parents had less to buy for.

Yeah. Oh, their grandparents spoiled them too. Because they didn't like, they were just like. They were the only one. That line. Oh. But then there's also a bit of stick that comes with it, a bit of stigma. Yep.

Stereotypes that they are selfish, spoiled, socially inept, lonely, and often anxious. Jeez. I always find that weird though, because like, you have friends. Yeah. But then like, you don't. Yeah, but you. There's a lot of time where you'd be at home playing by yourself and you don't have to compromise with other people at home. I mean, you have to compromise with your parents, I guess, but there's no sibling compromise.

And who do you blame? I don't remember sibling compromise either Because my brother just dominated Yeah, but your parents are like Bang your heads together And be like, sorry Who chases you around the house with a knife Before you lock yourself in the toilet Because it's got a lock on it

Your shadow It's character building, eh? Your shadow, you run from it But you're carrying the knife But you're trying to pretend you're not And then you get into the toilet Guess what? Your shadow's in there as well

Yeah The only place to hide is in the dark. What's the study said about? Well, it said that there's been a massive study into it. Some 2,000 German adults. I don't know if they should have used German. Born. And they studied them and they said,

actually, they could find no distinct difference between the adults that took part in it who were only children. But this is the thing, they're looking at them when they're adults. Yeah part in it who were only children. But this is the thing, they're looking at them when they're adults. Yeah, but that's the whole point. That's the whole point.

You're going to end up fine, aren't you? You've got to look at them when they're kids. You can't look around the office and pinpoint only child because everyone would think that I was an only child.

But I'm not. They actually would. But do you know, you know only children, like you've friends with people that were only children? They're all the ones

I can think of are fine. Like great people. Yeah. Once I've grown up. Well, yeah, sure, maybe. So they said, yeah, they found no differences between people with or without siblings for extroversion, maturity, cooperativeness, personal control, leadership. In fact, only children excel younger in life with academic studies. Because a lot of people are choosing to either have no kids or just one because of the global climate crises and the overpopulation.

Here's the bad part about this. It's from a different study that appeared in the Journal of Nutrition, Education and Behaviour. A lot of news for single, for only kids. Your mum's making you fat. Oh, too much love. Not only children, your mum's making you fat. We said they get everything.

They get everything, including all the food. Do you think about it? You'd have to share everything with your brother or sister. No. And when there's less people to prepare food for, worse and easier food choices are made. And you're more likely to, if there's only one, this is really interesting because I suppose like, thinking back on it, if there's fizzy drink,

they're more likely to pour one glass to share with one child than to like, if you had four kids, you're like, there goes all my bloody fizz. Yeah, that's so true. Because you've got to pour, if you had four kids, you're like, there goes all my bloody fizz. Yeah, so you, because you've got to pour a glass for all the kids.

So they're more likely to share stuff with them that they wouldn't share if there were more children and it's stuff that's bad for kids. Is that why I was a fat kid? Because my brother was adopted?

No one's believing that, eh? If he was adopted, they definitely got a two for one. And I'd still say they were ripped off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, the US announced Instagram in the US announced over the weekend, something that we've been living with for the last month or so. No likes on Instagram from next week.

That's it. Likes are gone for users of Instagram in the US. I didn't realise that they were still, they still had likes. I thought we were trialling and then they, so maybe it's that. So they've just decided

no likes. Wow. It's here to stay. It's here to stay. Only on mobile devices because you could still go on the web, like you could look

at Instagram on the web and see. I reckon that'll change eventually. They'll get rid of that too. Oh, they will. Yeah. Did you notice when you were in Australia at the weekend for the Friday Jams live artists,

did you go on your Facebook app and notice that the likes were gone on Facebook? I went on there, but actually now you can still see the faces, right? So you can still see the thumbs up, the hearts and the. I can't remember. I just remember when I was there for four days that, yeah, once I was... Because Facebook had been trialling. In Australia, no likes.

But you just don't see the number. You don't see the number. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I think that's... If we're getting it for Instagram, it's the same deal, right? Just kind of used to it now, right?

I mean, you could literally click on someone's likes and scroll through and count them if you really wanted to check how your friends' posts were going. That's pretty sad. It is pretty sad. However, okay, who liked it? One, two, three. How many hearts? But how do we feel after?

Because how long has it been? A couple of months of no likes on Instagram? How are we feeling about it? Kind of just get used to it, right? Like you don't care? No. Like, did you ever look at other people's posts

and think, well, I'm not going to like that because they've got too many likes already or vice versa? I only did that with celebrities. I was just like, I don't need to like their posts

because everyone else is like that. They've got enough. Because they've got like four million likes. Yeah, and they don't care if I've liked it or not. I only like celebrities' posts if they weren't hot girls.

But then they got rid of the following tab so it doesn't matter now. Oh, no, you still just don't like. Yeah. Because then if someone strolls through, nah, you're a friend, it always pops up first. Have you gone with the blanket don't like hot girl thing now?

Recently, yes. Yeah, recently. Yeah. Until we had a wee moment. Oh, yeah. Well, you can talk, you perv. We didn't have to look too far to see what you've been. You don't like the post, Paul.

Yeah, but I was liking it by double clicking it with my thumb. You were double clicking it with your tongue. You were like. Okay, don't get all defensive because you've been caught out to be a perv. All right, man. It's easy to spot a perv when you are a perv. Coming from you two, you very much spotted that. He's leaning into me in that photo.

Go back and check again. Go back and check again. Jason, well, we can't say. You could have used that feature to straighten it so you look like the straight up one and he looks like he's leaning in. But we all know that. He was leaning in. He leaned into me.

How did this get back to me when he's the great? You came accusatorily. No, I'm not. I'm a gentleman and a scholar. Fletch. And he's not going. Well, you came accusatorily. No, I'm not. I'm a gentleman and a scholar. Fletch. And he's not going to have a Fletch. Guys, Instagram have said that removing lights has become the safest place on the internet.

And you guys are arguing. The two of you are way bigger pervs than me. Don't put this on me. Why did this come around back at me? I don't know why we're arguing. I don't know. I'm allowed to like hot people's photos. I'm single.

You are? Yeah, your case rests, Your Honour. But if we're talking about pervs, there's only one person on the show who has a one o'clock Jonas. And that is because Megan's one o'clock, every day a one o'clock is now synonymous with Megan having a quick Jonas before Mr. Toyboy gets home from the campaign. You have bookmarks of your favourite Jonas's.

Excuse me. And Calvin Klein's. Don't make this a thing. She has a couple of Kevins and a Joe. I just got rid of people sending me Jonas pictures. At one o'clock. One o'clock. Please don't send...

No, that's not a thing, okay? That's not a thing. Plus, you've already seen the photos of the Calvin Klein shoot. You don't need them re-sent over. There could be new ones. There could be. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

A massive thunderstorm rolled in on the west coast of the North Island last night. A 3,300 lightning strike storm. Ooh, okay. It was quite... I sat outside and watched it. The kids were like, you're going to die out there. Apparently all up 66,000 strikes in total. For the whole west coast?

Yeah, right from the south to the top of the north. Wow. Because I remember mum message yesterday saying that there was some thunder coming. Because I looked on the rain radar and thunderstorm cells are red and it was like, yeah, the North Islander was just like a band of it coming. I love that you look at the rain radar.

All the time. You're such a boomer. I've got this other one. This really, because I've got a folder on my front page called weather. Why did you say anything? And it's got five different apps in it.

And I must simply recommend Windy. Windy? Windy. I downloaded it because at the start of the year when we were in Thailand and that massive cyclone was coming. Look at this. Windy. It's awesome. Oh, wow. It looks windy. And it shows you the different colours and the different intensities. You can see there's a storm up

there in the South Pacific. Go to Christchurch for EG. What does green and blue mean? So is this just wind? Yeah, but how speed moderate? Is that moderate? If it's green, it's about 15. Oh, okay.

15 kilometres. And it's coming from the south. 15 knots. Because the arrows are going. It's coming from sort of the southwest. Again, you're still a boomer for having different weather apps. A weather app. I love it. Megan's rolling her eyes. I love it. You can see the flow of the southwest. Again, you're still a boomer for having different weather apps. A weather app. I love it.

Megan's rolling her eyes. I love it. You can see the flow of the... This is why Wellington gets so windy, Carl. Look at this. Southerly hoons up and then it pulls around. What's this? Farewell spit?

Is this a golden spit? It's a farewell spit. In Golden Bay. That's right. That's it. And then it whips around and it comes back down and it's met by the southerly coming up the east coast. Yes. That's fascinating, mate. And Golden Bay. That's right. And then it whips around and it comes back down and it's met by the southerly coming up the east coast. Yes, that's fascinating, mate.

That's fascinating. I love this. Show me later off air. Okay. Do you really want to? No. You really want to see it? By the way, did you hear...

I find out about wind when it hits me. Did you hear Vaughan say he's got a weather station? Getting put on his... Are you getting a weather station? I'm buying a weather station. He's buying a weather station. It's a bougie weather station. He's scoffing at it now, but you liked it when I was showing you at the time.

You see, that is a slick design. Don't pretend to be cool in front of us. I like design. And then you're a boomer behind the scenes. Oh, here's this guy's an undercover boomer. Hard. At least I'm proud of my boomer traits. Not all the...

Not the bad boomer traits. Yeah, okay. But there's of my boomer traits. Not all the bad boomer traits. Yeah, okay. But there's definitely some boomer traits. So the top six things that got struck by lightning during this massive thunderstorm. Number six, someone who thought they'd quickly finish playing the last two holes of golf they were playing. So I reckon, hey, if you're out on a golf course,

especially in the middle of the fairway, you've got a big metal stick and you're the tallest thing in the middle of the fairway. There's trees on the side stick And you're the tallest thing in the middle of the fairway There's trees on the side Do you ever remember being a kid And just being petrified by lightning and thunder Yeah the kids were freaking out last night I was like just come in and have a look

Yeah I always used to tell my brother That the watch he was wearing would definitely strike that And he was going to die It was so good I didn't want to Why did he just take the watch off? I don't know. Well, I can't touch it.

What if I'm touching it when it gets struck by lightning? It's touching you the whole time. God, I'm a terrible person. Yeah, that's really bad. This is dawning on me. Okay, you carry on. Tormenting children, another one of his boomer qualities. Number five on the list of the top six things that got struck by lightning

during the massive thunderstorm. One of the metal rods that someone who lives on a West Coast beach had stuck into the ground, trying to make that glass that that guy made on that movie Sweet Home Alabama. Does it actually work? People do it on the Gold Coast all the time, don't they? I've seen pictures online.

Yeah, but... And it makes like a lightning rod of glass out of the sand. The silica, but that's the problem. West Coast beach, low silica content. Yeah, it's more iron sand there, Megan. Yes. Hence it's black. Yeah.

Hence they'd run the magnet over it, don't they? And then make some iron or something. Oh, yeah. Well, they used to before Jaina just undercut them on price. Good one, Jaina. Good one, Jaina. Number four on the list of the top six things that got struck by lightning during the massive thunderstorm,

a drone that someone thought they'd get some wicked storm content on, man. Spoiler alert. They didn't. No. It's RIP. It's missing. It's missing in action. It's not made for those winds either.

Number three on the list of the top six things that got struck by the lightning during the massive storm. An old mate who was standing next to the washing line having a really good gander at the storm. Again, that's a big lightning rod. They reckon move away from anything that's earthed and that's big and steel. Number two on the list of the top six things that got struck by lightning

during the lightning storm yesterday. A tree. But if no one's there, does a tree scream? Yes. Oh, does it? Yeah. Horrible. And because the kauri trees are the tallest, they get struck.

They're already like, isn't the kauri dieback enough? So are you scrubbing your feet at the weekend? I did scrub my feet. I've been into a couple of kauri dieback areas. You've got to spray the chemical on your shoes and then scrub it all off. Scrub it all off. Yeah, because I don't want the walls here to get coldy dieback. Or my home.

Well, you're supposed to do it on the way in, not the way. You can do it on the way out. No, I do it on the way in and out. And the way in and the way out. In and out. Oh, wait, did I do it on the way in? The way in's the most important way to scrub it. My shoes weren't dirty.

I did it on the way out because they were dirty. You probably stood in something with the fungi in it. Oh, God. Why do you need to do it on the way out? The way in makes more sense. No, the way out makes more sense because you're dirty. No, you're not taking. Oh, you're going into.

I thought we were going into a zone that was coldy dieback. No, but they don't want you to drag any more in. Well, I haven't been in anywhere that's got it. How do you know? Well, I don't know, do I? It's a micro-sized. So there were no trees. It was all just grass.

Oh no, there were some trees that actually did walk through a forest. Because they already died back. Yeah, I was going to say there used to be hundreds of trees. People weren't scrubbing their feet. Whipsy! And number one on the list of the top six things that got struck by lightning during yesterday's big storm, a hipster with a 35mm film

and his camera being like, I just prefer to shoot on film. And if I can just time this right, this is going to make such a great photo. Oh, overexposed. I've been shocked. I've been, my film's ruined. That is today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. Wonderful news for the homosexual community.

Headline. Headline news What is this? And also for fans of penguins Okay The homosexual penguins that made international headlines Spin and Magic Was this in Sydney?

Spin Sydney Aquarium? It's like Sven Because you know how Steven is You're going to have a PH Steven? This is a PH Sven. Oh, I don't know about that. Sven.

Sven. Sven. Sven. And Magic, they are same-sex penguins. Yep. And they, you may remember, they had an egg that wasn't theirs. Yes. In their nest.

And they actually like successfully raised that, like hatched that egg. And were they the first gay penguins like on record that had done this? Oh yeah, that had done it. They were the first gay penguins. Yeah, right. Apparently homosexuality rife in the penguin, in the species of penguin.

So yeah, they took one back to their little nest and raised it and it hatched and it's alive now. I remember the news headlines and everybody was just like, wow, this is amazing. And didn't they have a really clean nest and living quarters? Oh, my God, amazing. And everything was colour matched. Yeah, yeah.

And, you know, because they can just afford furniture because they don't have kids, you know? Well, they do now. I hope they'll ready for their nice cream lounge suit to be absolutely ruined. Their nest was described as the biggest and the most beautiful and possibly the neatest nest in the entire exhibit. Wow.

There you see. That's some stereotypes. I love that. Because I know some messy gays. Do you? Crikey. So they're going to foster another egg.

This is the good news. They're being trusted with another egg from I'm guessing an unpredictable heterosexual penguin. So do they still look after their baby penguin? No, it'll be grown up now. Yeah, right. It'll leave the nest.

Yeah. Do they just leave, though? Is that what they do? Or do they stay around? They don't go too far. They're in a zoo. Right, yeah. Oh, you're trying to encourage it.

Okay. See you, Martha. See you, dads. See you, dads. See you, dads. I'm off to do my OE. Good luck. I love you, son. Be brave out there.

Bye. I've arrived. Just a little bit further away than you were before. I miss you guys. We miss you too. So just great parents. So they're getting another egg to raise, to raise as they're right. Wow, okay.

Yeah. This is exciting. They are described as one of Sydney's gay power couples. Yes. Who else is Sydney's gay power couple? There's not a list. Unfortunately, there's not like a top five. A top five Sydney gay power couples.'s gay power couple? There's not a list. Unfortunately, there's not like a top five. A top five Sydney gay power couples.

Sydney gay power couples. But I, yeah, I don't know. Spin and Magic are up there. These aren't the penguins, by the way. I've just literally Googled Sydney's gay power couples and it's just about the penguins. Right. Oh, my God.

He's got his little flipper around him. These aren't the penguins. Oh, my. Oh, and got his little flipper around him. These aren't the penguins. Oh, they're having a little kiss too. These aren't the penguins that stole the mother, that stole the baby. Remember there was a story about a couple of... They were overseas, weren't they? They were homosexual penguins as well. They stole...

The mother went for a quick swim in the enclosure and they were like, you're coming with us. And the enclosure, they were like, you coming with us? And this little penguin was like, what? You're ours now. And then they stole the baby and tried to raise it as their own. Giving gay penguins a bad name. But then they, the keepers were like, no, you give that back and you have this egg. Right.

But they're different penguins. I don't feel like that's on the homosexual penguins because I feel like penguins do that a lot in all the documentaries I've watched. They steal eggs. If they lose their own, they can grab another one. Yeah, go and grab someone else's. Yeah.

Yeah. Not the gay couple in Sydney. And let's not play this intro when the Black Eyed Peas are in the country. Do you know... They might want some money for it. I didn't actually get a chance to interview them when I was in Melbourne, but that was on my list. I was definitely going to ask if they could do that. You had a photo with all of them.

Just while I am. Just while I am. Just while I am, yeah. And he had those humongous sunglasses from the future. He let some people wear those, and I was like, oh, can I wear them? But he wanted them back by that point. Can I try on your glasses? No, he put them on everyone.

Without them asking? Yeah. Because everyone was like, cool glasses. As someone who used glasses? No, he put them on everyone. Without them asking? Yeah. Because everyone was like, cool glasses. As someone who used to wear glasses, there's nothing more annoying. Can I try on your glasses? And then people put their

smeary fingers on the lens. Yeah. And then they say something like, oh my God, you're so blind. Oh my God, I've done all of those things. No, these are just huge sunnies. So I didn't get that.

I'm sorry, Fletch. I'm sorry. Well, if you're new to the show, this segment is normally where Vaughn, you or Megan, yourself would rile me up. Yeah. But you're saying today this is Vaughn and I. It's something that both of you are pretty riled up

slash actually upset about. So, hey, Megan, if you were on a website and you were trying to get tickets or something, but it crashed, how would you feel about that? I'd be pretty angry, but I'd be patient and just keep trying. And if I missed out, them's the breaks. I was trying for an hour. So you two were trying to get tickets to...

Tickets? Okay, but don't laugh. Yes, don't laugh. This weekend, so this was the plan. Before Friday jams, I'd wake up a little bit hungover because my friend James is having a boat party on Saturday. Have you been invited to this boat party? No, Caitlin has. Rude.

But I'm surprised you're not. It's big enough for like, I don't know. Why are you surprised he's not? We're friends now on social media. Yeah, I'm sorry. I mean, I could probably get you a ticket. I wouldn't go anyway. I don't like boats.

This is why you don't get invited. I don't like people. Look, I'm sorry. I mean, I could probably get you a ticket. I wouldn't go anyway. I don't like boats. This is why you don't get invited. I don't like people. Look, I'd like James. He's wonderful. And I don't want an invite now because it's a pity one. People's a plural. So the plan is to wake up a little bit hungover and the plan was to go along to the open day.

There's a walking, the new city rail loop tunnels or the first like segment that's been made. And you had to go online to this website and and and get one to six tickets you're only allowed one to six tickets and there were only 10 000 tickets and you'd select a time and then you would you know in theory get a ticket but oh no the website wouldn't work for like an hour right and they were sold out and then they were done they're like sorry we've allocated all the tickets are we it's. Are we still living in a time when websites get overloaded and crashed? If there are no tickets, just say no.

And then I got tickets. And then it was like, nah, try again. And then there were none left. They had me three times. I got three. How many do you want? And I was like, well, six. Because we had an agreement that it would go for six.

Because that was the maximum you were allowed. And then we'd split them with each other. That's greedy though. That's probably what everyone did and that's probably why you missed out. And then everyone's mocking us. Like, Anya can't believe we'd want to do something like this.

This is infrastructure, Anya. We walk the tunnels. You go past it every single day on the way to and on the way home. But I'm going to drive through it, right? No. It's a railroad. I'm going to be on a train.

No, I'm not going to be on a train. Let's be honest, you're never going to be on a train. You don't do public transport. But like, if I wanted to go and see it, right? No. Are you going to? It's a railroad. I'm going to be on a train. No, I'm not going to be on a train. Let's be honest, you're never going to be on a train. You don't do public transport. But like, if I wanted to go and see it, I'd get on the train and I'd be like,

look out the window. But it's not going to be ready for another like five years, four years. Well, hopefully I'll still be alive by then and I can experience it. I mean, you get to walk through the tunnels.

It's going to be so exciting and now Vaughn and I can't go. And you can say things like, how's a train going to fit in here? You can say things like that. I just don't get why you're so jazzed about it. Well, I'm not jazzed anymore because I'm not going. I'm so gutted.

Please stop thumping the desk. And I was messaging Vaughan because I was like, have you got tickets? Have you? I was like, get on there now. It's 12 o'clock. This is the other day. And actually, I'd forgotten all about it.

And now you've reminded me today. I'm seething all over again. Yeah, it was pretty heartbreaking. You get six, it's like, yep, here we go. Put in your details, put in your details, click. It'll be like,

confirm tickets, you're confirming it with think, think, think, think and then be like, oh. I mean, who's running this website? NCEA? Doesn't their one crash after four people log on?

Jesus. Maybe there's someone who got six who only has four friends. I don't want pity tickets. Three friends. No, I do want pity tickets has four friends. I don't want pity tickets. Three friends. No, I do want pity tickets. Unlike you, I'll actually do pity tickets.

Who are these people? You know what? I bet people were selling them on Trade Me. God, that annoys me when people do that. Do you reckon? But they were free. Oh, were they free? They were free tickets, yeah.

What was it called? Walk the Rail Loop. Yeah, I bet you people have. Inner City Rail Loop. I just can't believe they found 10,000 people that would want to do that. Well, literally, the website was overloaded from midday. It was overloaded. Madness.

I don't know why I'm excited about it, but, yeah. Well, that's your weekend. It's infrastructure. It's clever. Yeah, it's pre-Friday trends. We're going to do Walk the Rail and then a few mimosas and then Friday Drans. Get really fizzed. A little brunch.

That is so true. Get really fizzed. That's how you pre-empt an awesome concert. You go for a walk through a tunnel to look at the infrastructure. No, two brunch. Pre-load on excitement. Yeah. Okay.

I'm going to turn up. Guys, you've got five minutes to talk about engineering. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey guys, let's get back into that podcast.

Today's Singles Day. Singles Day is originally a Chinese, it was, what do you say? Originated. It originated in China. Do you know why it's today? The 11th of November? Is it lucky? 11-11?

It's all the ones. It just indicates you're by yourself. Oh my God. Why is that sad? I don't know. Just when you said that, it sounded sad. You've only got one. You are number one in your life.

And it's one, one, one, one. Did it start as a shopping thing? So, yeah, it totally was. Right. I guess it's the singles version of Valentine's Day because it's all about buying yourself something and taking pride in being single and spending money on yourself. Like Emma Watson.

Yes, self-partnered. Self-partnered. It's one of China's biggest shopping days. It's considered up there with like Cyber Monday, Black Friday, Boxing Day. And I feel every year it gets bigger and bigger here. But because it is a big thing in Asia, a lot of people don't even know it exists here. No. You can actually get some deals today.

It's a $46 billion shopping event. It's even like one of New Zealand's biggest online shopping days. I should have waited to buy my AliExpress taco holders. Have you bought those? They probably could have been. Did you actually buy those? They were like $3, Megan, but I've just got to wait

eight years for them to get here. Yeah. Like you forget you ordered things. They're my coffee filter bags. Ordered those as well like five years ago. But it's a well like five years ago. But it's a nice surprise when it comes. It just turns up and you're like, oh my God, I got something from China. Have you got coffee bags that tied you over?

No. At the moment, I'm just going instant at home. But you've got coffee ready to use. Yeah, I've got beans, mate. But you saved yourself three cents. But it just means you can't enjoy that coffee that you bought for eight weeks. Basically, I'm a tight ass. Yeah, okay.

In the weirdest way. I know, because other times I'm like, I don't care. It's been the way. Yeah. Yeah. So, yep, apparently New Zealanders haven't heard of it, but online today there's some deals to be had. I saw a lot of airlines doing deals as well,

like New Zealand airfare specials and some travel centres. I feel like as soon as someone gives you an excuse. It should be called the Fletch travel package where it's just you travelling by yourself. Oh. Because you're always just travelling. Well, no, it was supposed to be a positive. You're always travelling by yourself.

Well, not always. Sometimes, yeah. Well, it's less on. Not anymore. It's just awkward to what? You are so. In trouble? No, go on. It's what? You were so... In trouble? No, go on.

It's what? You were going to say something? I forgot what he was going to say. I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, moving on. A bit distracted. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. So Saturday night, we went to a friend's place for dinner

and the kids were playing basketball on the driveway. Slam Dunkin'. They weren't Slam Dunkin. They weren't slam dunking. They were shooting hoops. And then Indy came in and crying and said, I've hurt my wrist. And I was like,

oh God. Because this child does tend to break. Yeah. But always when you're about to go on holiday. Famously. Yeah, famously.

Yeah, famously. Both times we've had a trip planned. She hurts herself just before we go. Had to cancel one of them. And I was like, okay, well, just take it easy and we'll see. But then she seemed to be okay.

And then she woke up the next morning and she said, oh, it's still sore, it's a bit achy. Do you give kids like heaps of Neurofence? You give them Pamol. Oh, is that kids? Which is like liquid paracetamol. Really? Yeah, you can give them orange flavour, strawberry flavour.

Yum. Yum. Yeah. Is it good for hangovers? Or adults allowed that? I've never tried it. It's done by KG, so you probably just need a swig of that. You just give them the bottle and tell them to have a swig whenever they're feeling sore. No, no, then you measure it out.

You get a little syringe without the needle on it. Yeah. And you suck it in and then you squirt it in their mouth. Right. You're like, put it in. That's the... What does it taste like? So you don't like know about Pam-O.

You don't know things. Delivering Pam-O. Well, you can have an orange one or a strawberry one or a plain one. Can we have it? Could do, I suppose. I don't know. If you were like wildly unable to swallow pills, you know how you meet some pathetic people that can't swallow a pill?

Call them pathetic. They are. Some people just can't do some things. They're not rad-olds. No, but I'll agree. Harden up, buttercup. You know sometimes you get a big multivitamin and it's the size of a biscuit? That's a challenge.

And then you're stuck in your throat and you're like. I'll be tasting that all day. It's still just, yeah, it's pushing in there. Yeah, right. Maybe you could. Okay. Maybe you could. So we went out for breakfast and I said to Indy, I said, look, if it's that sore, I'll take you to the doctor.

Sade's like, she's fine. It's not the doctor. She's just sprained it. It's sprained. A weekend fee for the A&E. No, mate. That's an extra. What?

Are they free? It's free. That is some BS. Another thing I'm paying for. I don't get anything in return. I have to pay heaps more at the weekend. Yeah, good. Good.

You deserve it. And I don't get any parental leave. Being single, I should get like free six weeks. You go on holiday enough, sweetheart. You travel the world. But in saying that, you do look after the younger generation. Surprised you don't know about the Pamela. You've got a toy boy.

You should have known about the Pamela years ago. Always hurting themselves first year uni, aren't they? Their daddy can't be there. So sometimes they've got to find another daddy. You're so close to getting your microphone. So there's a bit of back and forth and shadows that will drop us off home. I'm not kind of the doctor. I was like, okay.

Heartless from you. So I took the doctor and I'm expecting Just to get one of those Like little wrist supports Or maybe some tape Or something And the doctor's like Hmm It is She is pointing to

A concerning spot I was like You're cutting me Went in Got the x-ray Went back Surely enough She's fractured

Her Growth plate Oh So she's gonna grow up With like one One arm Like 10 centimetres shorter than the other Take my strong hand. That's what she'll be saying.

Yeah. Take my strong hand. I'm going to mix up the mashed potatoes with my strong hand. No, it's just when you're growing. I don't know. It's infusing. Blah, blah, blah. I stopped listening.

Because I started being like, oh, God. So did Sade feel bad? Yeah, she did. She did. And that's what I want to talk about this morning. Because I, when the dog was like, oh, God. So did Sade feel bad? Yeah, she did. She did. And that's what I want to talk about this morning because I, when the dog was like, it's broken,

Sade, Indy's like, you should ring mum and tell her. I was like, no, no, we send mum a photo of you with your cast on. That's the first she knows.

What did she text back to that? She was like, you're effing kidding me. And then tried calling me because you're not even supposed to be on your phone and that thing. So she's like, why are you on a strike?

And I was like, it's all right. It's just a fracture. That's not all right. And so she said she felt terrible. I would have taken a random person a photo of someone and be like, oh, they're taking her away. Because we didn't take her to the doctor. She's fine. It's been real.

So when we got home, she was like, I'm so sorry, Danny. I'm so sorry. I didn't believe that it was broken or that it was as sore as it was. And Dandy's like, that's okay. If it was August, she would have been like, this is going to cost you. Yeah, on the way home, we need to stop for chocolate, chips, lollies. The lot. So I wanted to take some calls this morning on when your parents didn't believe you were injured or sick.

Because that's the thing you were just like it's just a strain yeah and it should be don't worry about it she'd be okay with it she'd be kind of like carrying it

but then she had a fork at one stage and she was like oh that's hurt it okay I probably would when she like pushed something out

and we were like oh it could have been a sprain but then yeah Shade felt so bad because it was it was a fracture and not the sprain as predicted

but then came out I came out on top I came out as good parent yeah because it was a fracture and not the sprain as predicted. But then I came out on top. I came out as good parent. Yeah, because you wanted to take it. Very rare. Very rare. So this was very nice. You're still a negative.

Yeah, and next time they're crying and they're like, mum. Because when they cry, they always want mum. I'll be like, maybe we should come to dad. The sympathetic parent. Yeah. But yeah, I'd love to know this morning when your parents didn't believe that you were sick or injured but you really were.

We're talking about when your parents didn't believe you were hurt. This happened in our house over the weekend and it's been marked in the diary for an argument in six to eight months time.

What about that time that you ignored Indy's broken arm? That's what I'll say. So she had a whole... And then I'll immediately regret jumping in that deep and try to backpedal but I'll be in big trouble.

So she had a whole, what, day of... No, no. Overnight? Yeah, overnight. Okay, right. But then she said towards the end of the night,

like she fell asleep in the car on the way home. Yeah. So we were like, well, it's not like extreme pain that's keeping her awake and she was okay through the night and then in the morning

she just said it's still aching. But yeah, it was a fractured growth plate or something. And does it make you feel less bad seeing all of the hundreds and hundreds of text messages and calls that we're getting? Because it is crazy. We have not had these sorts of impassioned text responses. And it's not just like, usually if we get lots of texts, it's like little short bits.

Oh, wow. They're like, let me tell you my story. You think your parents were bad? My parents, blah, blah, blah. I think one of the best ones, it wasn't a parent, it was a partner. Somebody said they had a very sore stomach at a wedding. Yeah. They were five months pregnant.

And their partner's like, it's just all in your head. There's Wagyu beef on the menu and I'm not leaving until I've eaten it. I'll take you after the dinner service. They had appendicitis at five months pregnant. Oh, that's got to be sorted very quickly. I kept telling my parents I didn't

want to do PE because I didn't feel well. Whenever we started, I got dizzy. They just thought Because I didn't feel well Whenever we started I got dizzy They just thought it was an excuse The teacher also said I was just being absolutely ridiculous Turned out I had a heart condition as a teenager And needed to be medicated when I finally saw a doctor Take that everyone Ha

I almost died There's something good about when you're hurt And you know it eh Because your parents are always right Well no you shouldn't be having too many happy meals died. That's something good about when you're hurt and you know it, eh? And because that's like heaps of Happy Meals. Because your parents are always right. Well, no, you shouldn't be having too many Happy Meals. You've got a heart condition. Oh, damn. Trying to eat celery sticks or something. Better care of yourself.

Apparently, I was two years old and complaining about a sore arm. Fast forward a week, I go to daycare and the woman says, oh, something's definitely not right with this child's arm. Turns out at two, I was right, mum was wrong. I had broken my arm and for a week.

One whole week? It was broken. Because kids heal fast too. Like after a week, it could have started mending on them. Yeah, in a weird place. Laura, when did your parents not believe that you were injured?

So when I was like four, mum had made soup for dinner and so sitting at the table and I was like, mum, I can't swallow this. And so she was getting more and more like annoyed at me because she was like, just eat your damn soup. And then eventually she was like, okay,

well, if you're that bad, I'll take you to the doctor then and like picks me up and like throws me in the car. And when we got there, my tonsils were the size of golf balls and I got rushed into surgery like straight away. Oh my. Yeah, mum.

See? Yeah, mum. I needed emergency surgery. Did she feel? I got so many presents. Oh, yes. Yes. Brilliant.

Hey, thanks you, Coolora. Alicia, when did your parents not believe you were injured? That wasn't actually my parents. It was a teacher in primary school. Yeah. And I fell off the monkey bars. And if you do, you put your hands down to save you behind you. Yeah.

And my wrist, both of my bones, my wrist, neck, and point and went straight up, like, nearly breaking the skin. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was real disgusting. I went to the teacher and I was like, oh, I think I've broken my wrist. Like, can you ring the ambulance or ring mum and dad? I'm a real accident prone, so I've broken lots of bones. Yeah.

And the doctor's teacher's like, oh no, we'll just ice it and you can carry on playing in 20 minutes. And I was like, no, no, it's broken. Ended up going to this hospital and I've got screws in it and I've got pins in it and I was in surgery. I've been in surgery three times for it. Oh my gosh. But it's all right. Just go back to playtime. Just answer.

Brilliant. Alicia, thanks for your call. This exact thing happened to me when I was an intermediate. My dad didn't believe that my wrist was broken. So I wouldn't go to A&E the day it happened. Woke up next morning, it was purple and swollen. So mum took me in and it was 100% broken. Dad got in so much trouble.

It must be hard to tell though when kids are crying and it hurts. They cry a lot. It hurts when it's sprained too. Yeah. I was playing in a softball tournament and hadn't eaten all day as I wasn't feeling great. Mum got really mad and said, you have to eat. I said, mum, I don't feel like eating.

She forced me to eat two punnets of strawberries. And now they don't eat strawberries ever. I threw them up. I threw them all up and got taken to the doctors. I turned out I had a ruptured appendix. Not just appendicitis. It was already ruptured. Man, you'd feel so bad as a parent. So many

stories of appendicitis and people just not believing you. I was helping my sister move house and had a sore stomach and everyone told me I was just being a hypochondriac because I didn't want to have to keep moving the boxes. They said, just keep moving it. We'll be finished soon. Ended up in the hospital. I also had appendicitis. Because you've got to get that sorted, eh? Otherwise you die.

Yeah, if it's unseen to it can be really, really bad for you. Fell off a playground and broke my ankle. Dad put some frozen peas on it from the supermarket and said, walk it off. Famous dad, say. Took another day for him to finally take me to the hospital and I'd fractured my tibia.

Oh, okay. But the longest one we've got was three weeks after the incident. Okay. They said it was a break, but it was like a niggly pain and every time I mentioned it, they kept saying, well, if it was broken, you wouldn't be able to do anything with it. But it turned out it was broken for three weeks.

Fletch just gave us all a lesson in how to appropriately say make love. The words we can't say. I just said it's after 8 o'clock there'll be a lot of people in cars with kids. Do we know that? This isn't our first day. I know it's not

but sometimes you need to be told. Doesn't he? We were talking the other day about listening to music while you dog. Was that one of your words you can't say? Make love. You're in so much trouble after this. I'm going to have a bloody talking to you. Was that one of your words you can't say? Make love. Oh, my God. You're in so much trouble after this. I'm going to have a bloody talking to you.

Oh, you. I don't care if you're going to help me out. I can't believe you said that. That was one of the words I joked about. I thought that was the most appropriate word to use of the list that Clint shot us with and we couldn't say. I can't believe you said that. I'm leaving the room after we finish this.

Have some decorum. We were talking about music. Listening to music while... How did we get onto this? I can't remember. It was a chat after the show. Was that romantic enough? It was me.

I cannot remember how this conversation began. But you let out in private between friends that you have never made love while listening to music. Because you guys were talking about it. Were you talking about the best songs or something? Who doesn't have a playlist? I thought everyone had a playlist. Oh, I don't have a playlist.

I don't have a playlist, but I'm not a playlist Oh I don't have a playlist I don't have a playlist But I'm not a Don't listen to the radio God no Then you hear your mates And you're like Yeah Yeah

But we've all like We've all lived in a flat Where What? We just suddenly like Okay once The radio was on Yeah

This was in Australia Yeah And then Jason PJ came on Okay, once the radio was on. Yeah. This was in Australia. Yeah. And then Jason PJ came on. What, like a best of? Yeah. What were you doing in the morning? It was a best of.

It was a best of in the evening. Oh, in the late evening. And I was like, I'm sorry, I've just got to turn this off. Excuse me. Excuse me for a moment. I'm just going to run over here and... Oh my God, I'm going to tell them. I know, I'm sorry, I've just got to turn this off. Excuse me. Excuse me for a moment. I'm just going to run over here. Oh, my God. I'm going to tell them.

I know. I text Jase and PJ. I told them. You would have been very pleased. But I think the origins of it for moi would be like living in a flat. Okay. We had a mate who would every single time he'd turn on the Incubus CD and he never got past the third song and we were always like,

let's put it on shuffle, start at another point in the CD. Everyone can hear the music, so it's like... And one of those songs was called Are You In? Remember that Incubus song? I don't think that song would, like, it's not what I would think. But it was more to, it was a, theirs was a noise because we were all watching TV and they didn't want us to hear anything. I mean, this is your stereotypical, like, in movies and stuff.

I don't know, because once you, like, are in the throws, like, you don't stop down to be like, oh, hang on a second. I'm going to, like, put a song on. You put the song on before the throws begin. Right. Like, if someone's having a shower and sorting it out, that's the other person puts on a little bit of music. Right.

A little bit of atmospheric music. No, usually if the candle gets put on, that means, like, someone's in the mood. But you all go to all the effort. Is that how you let each other know? You light a candle. You light a candle. Leave it on the windowsill.

But you'll go to all the effort of a candle to set the mood. But then music is like the next step. Yeah, but I feel like I would pick a song and be like, I don't like this song. And then I'd be like, well, you pick one. And I'll be like, I don't know if this one would. Something you two could sit down and do as a couple is decide, like, you know, when you sit down and you make your wedding playlist.

Yeah, right. You can make a lovemaking playlist. Okay. Don't make the vomit in your mouth, babe. No, I was trying to stop myself from laughing because I was going to say that other word again. I'll call it that playlist. I wouldn't.

Look at, calm down, granddad. Joke, hey, boomer. But that's, you can sit down and make your own, like, playlist. So what do you guys, if you're, like, so. Not this. No, not something like this. Do you have a playlist? No, I don't have a playlist.

But you'd want something a bit more upbeat, wouldn't you? You just chuck something on. At the moment, I'm just looking at my Spotify. Now I've got my uh power run 145 bpm that's for running oh you don't want that on that'll be over in no time wait that's what else you got um nah it's all just more for like parties and stuff and then my gym play just probably i don't know i just put on i don't know something random but there's got to be music. You can't have quiet. That's weird. What is weird? I mean, you can, but I don't know. It's just, I don't know.

Wait, so we did a poll on this. Can you please hit me with the results? 55% said, have you ever made love to music or had music on when you were making love? 55% said yes. 45% said no. Okay. I thought it would be a small minority. That's ever. And like I thought it would be a small minority.

That's ever. And like you say, it's a given in a flat. It hides what you're doing. Yeah. Although, but then it's just telling people. It's very obvious what you're doing. But at least then they know you're doing it, but they don't have the details of you talking.

I'll piss off with your Nick Jonas suggestions. Closer. You could have a Nick Jonas playlist, because you love your Jonas. I do like that song. Your Joan Eye You could have a Nick Jonas playlist because you love your Jonas. I do like that song. Your Joan Eye. He does like Nick Jonas music. Maybe that could be.

No one tell him. No one tell him that's why Nick Jonas. Or maybe you should get out your work laptop next time. But don't tell us. And then the group chat pops up and then I get Wookie Mouse. Romantic. Vaughn's sending stupid GIFifs and pictures of him with a sheep. We don't have to look at the phone.

That's a real mood killer, isn't it? Yeah. We don't have to have your Facebook open. Turn your notifications off. Right. My partner and I live in a house with six other flatmates. Oh, yeah.

So either music or a movie. A movie? Yeah, it's just sort of music, noise in the background. See, I don't know. Pause the movie. Yeah, pause the movie. A movie? Yeah, it's just sort of music noise in the background. Pause the movie. Yeah, pause the movie. You're in a good movie. I mean, it's alright if it's a rubbish movie that you're not liking. You probably just try to start that to get out of it. There's a Nelly song

called The Fix. Nelly and Jeremiah called The Fix. Do you have that? Because I could probably find it on my laptop if you don't. Well, it might not be. I do have it. Is it appropriate for the radio? Well, I mean, it's analysis. The artist album certainly is it. Really?

Yeah, I will just turn that off because I don't know if that's edited or not. Especially if someone says it. It's a big song for them. Anyway, well, there we go. The Nation, it's 50-50, really, isn't it? Yeah, right. It's quite interesting.

Somebody once said, who knows that far in advance that it's going to happen? Well, let's just make the playlist for when it does happen. It's there, isn't it? Yeah. Because then you don't have to be like,

15 minutes, should we make love and whip up that playlist in the meantime? Like, you don't need to be like that. Yeah, but that's also why you get an Alexa. It's like, hey, Alexa, put on the Sexy Times playlist. Oh, yes. And then she's like, I don't need to be like that. Yeah, but that's also why you get an Alexa. It's like, hey, Alexa, put on the Sexy Times playlist. Oh, yes. And then she's like, I don't want to hear this again.

But then you're like, I'm sorry, person in my Alexa. Yeah. But it's your job. You sign up for this. Yeah, they're recording everything that happens afterwards too. It's worrying. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Get in, get in. It is 43 days, like 43 days away from Christmas. 15 hours and 40 minutes. Holy moly. It's not a lot of paydays before Christmas. It's not. It's not at all. And it's getting to the point

where the malls are going to be like nightmare at the weekend. Yeah, they'll start doing their hours until like midnight and late.

Oh, and people who work at malls have to work like dead in the eyes and stressed. That's why you should be nice to people.

Always be nice. Absolutely, yeah. Morena says Jess. Morena Jess. She, yeah. Morena, says Jess. Morena, Jess. She contacts the show with reports of Christmas penetration. Starbucks Christmas penetration has hit Chicago. Okay.

Today I was wished a merry Christmas on my coffee cup. It also marks the release of Starbucks holiday cups and, of course, the intro of holiday drinks, which involve the best hazelnut praline latte I've ever tasted. And that is a report from Chicago. Because they always do a, you know I love my frappuccinos. Your Christmas frappers. They always do like a good Christmas frappuccino.

For the Southern Hemisphere people. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. Jess, another Jess. Is that Jess? That's one Jess followed up with another Jess. Jess the Jess. Is that Jess? That's one Jess followed up with another Jess. Jess the Jess. From

across the ditch in Brisbane, we now have Christmas trees erected over the freezer section of the supermarket and an entire freezer section dedicated to Christmas foods at Aldi. Oh, okay. It's your turkeys, your hams, your turkey thigh roasts,

et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. All of your Christmas goodies in the frozen bags. Some other reports. The Smith & Coheys windows have happened. Always famous. Are they up? Yeah, they're open. I walked past them.

There's an official opening. Okay. It's getting into the territory of a Smith & Cohey Santa. Santa appearing at Smith & Coheys as well. They're always mechanical, the window displays. The windows, yeah. What do they, do they change them? There's usually some...

Every year's different. There's a story involved in the windows. Yeah, you have to queue up to walk along and watch the story. And you're stuck behind someone as a slow reader. You're like, come on, read it to them. No, it's important they read it themselves. There's a bloody line! But the absolute shower and grower of Christmas on Queen Street in Auckland has been erected, ladies and gentlemen.

Santa on Queen Street has been erected. Thank you for all of your photos. Thank you for all of your videos of the construction. By the way, news story over the weekend that this will be the last year for Creepy Santa. Terrible news. On the Farmer's Knee Wickles building. Yes. On the corner of Queen and Victoria Street.

It's been there for years. Do you remember? 60 years. Had a winky finger and it had an electronic motor and it was like... It had a come hither finger and a winky eye. And then they gave it a cosmetic surgery and they got rid of the winky eye and the finger.

Because it just sits still now. Yeah, and I believe local businesses helped get it back up because of the cost. Now, that was only a few years ago. But they're saying this will be its final year before retirement. I'm actually all for it. It looks a bit manky.

What? Just give it a bit of a paint. No, it has had a paint. It looks new, but it's... It's an institution. It's lumpy and bumpy. Yeah, I know, but... I'm with Megan on this one.

I think since I've had kids of The Magic of Christmas, it's returned. The witch doesn't know all that. Get an ice rink. Get an ice rink. Well, why can't they do that too? We're on the side of the building. Do you know how gravity works?

No, like... You can't ice skate up a building. With a big Christmas tree in the middle of it. Like Rockefeller. And gravity works? No, like... You can't ice skate up a building. With a big Christmas tree in the middle of it. Like Rockefeller. And like A.T.S. Square. Yeah. Oh, but it's summer. It would be like if they got rid of Christmas in the park.

It's like, that's what Christmas is. They should take Christmas to the park. Santa on Queen Street. They should take Santa to Christmas in the park and Mike McRobert slides out of him to introduce the show. Then you have some weird fantasies. It's hot. That's hot.

You think about that, aren't you? It's hot. And now, welcome Mike McRoberts. And he slides out of, I don't know, slanted. Where's he coming out of? The mouth? Buckle belt or something. It opens up, a little flap.

Oh, yeah. Out of the fly? Out of the groin, maybe, and a slide pops out. Yeah, that would probably be the safest. Not thinking about that. A slide from the mouth would be very, and a slide pops out. Yeah, that would probably be the safest. Not thinking about that. A slide from the mouth would be very, very steep. Very dangerous. Well, you wouldn't want Mike McRoberts crashing onto the stage.

No, he can't lose a national treasure. I'd love to see him slide out of his pants. Sliding out of Santa's pants, not sliding out of his own pants. Although I wouldn't be against that from a plutonic point of view. So, given that the Queen Street Santa is up and it is erected and we are 43 days away from

Christmas. Dust off the vocal cords Mariah. Right now Christmas penetration is at 100% Which means as tradition says we we must all play this. Wow, it's only the not- I just got goosey.

It's what we do. All right, Zed Am, it's Mariah. the presents underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own more than you could ever know make my wish come true all I

want for Christmas is All I want for Christmas is you. I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. And I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I don't need to mend my stockings

They're upon the fireplace Santa Claus won't make me happy With the toys on Christmas Day I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas is you You, baby

Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas I won't even wish for snow I'm just gonna keep on waiting Underneath the mistletoe I won't make a list and send it To the North Pole for Saint Nick I won't even stay away too far In the magic rain that's left

Cause I just want you here tonight Holding on to me so tight What more can I do? Baby, all I want for Christmas is you Ooh, baby All the lights are shining So bright in every way And I saw the children

Laughing, feeling And everyone is singing I hear those lightnings ringing Said I want you crazy I want a real and easy Don't you bring me the wonder in the night Won't you be a star, baby, to me, please, please Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas This is all I'm asking for

I just wanna see my baby Standing right outside my door Oh, I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true Baby, all I want for Christmas Is you Baby

All I want for Christmas is you Ooh, baby All I want for Christmas is you Ooh, baby All I want for Christmas is you It's Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas, wrapping up our segment for 2019. I don't know why I said 2019.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. We have reached 100% Christmas penetration with Christmas decorations and Christmas creeping in all over the place. And the big giant Santa's up, and we're 43 days away from Christmas. Right now, though, it is time for... Fact of the Day!

Day, day, day, day! Today's Fact of the Day is about how in the year 2000, the British Armed Services saved themselves £5 million. Oh, okay. Did they cut back on... Stationery. Not stationary. Designer uniforms. No, not designer uniforms.

Gary, if you could stop wearing your Gucci uniform this week. No, but you joke. I won't. The Nazi uniforms were... Snappy. Hugo Boss or something? Yes. They, but you joke. I won't. The Nazi uniforms were Hugo Boss or something? Yes. They were designer.

Right. You're right. Yeah. I think that was a fact of the day. Yeah. There's been so many. I forget.

Okay. Are we cool with Hugo Boss now? What are we? It's in the past. Well, I don't think when they made the uniforms, they didn't

really know, did they? They didn't have a choice, I don't think, either. Yeah, right. Think about dictators. Very forceful. They don't really when they made the uniform, they didn't really know, did they? They didn't have a choice, I don't think, either. Yeah, right. Think about dictators. Very forceful. They don't really care what you say. Do you want to make these uniforms or we'll murder your family?

All right, I'll make the uniforms. Yeah. As long as history remembers, I didn't want to do this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as you write down that I didn't want to, fine, just don't kill my family. No, they saved five million pounds because rather than every time they would shoot, this is in the Royal Navy Gunners,

so this is the on-board boat guns. Yep. Boat guns. But now I know what you mean though. You know, the bangers, the bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Well, that's exactly how they saved it. Rather than actually shooting real bullets, they just had to say bang every time that they were firing.

Yeah, they said, it's not a joke. There's so many times where during training, firing is actually completely unnecessary. Right. It would be when you were following orders or you would be like, fire on my command. And they would fire at nothing, but fire nonetheless the less,

then cost themselves some rounds. So they worked out that if every time they cut out all unnecessary firing during training and said, bang, instead, they would save themselves five million pounds, and they did just that. Probably untold amounts of dolphins in Karwai too, in Orange Ruffy. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Like, where are they shooting? Or just, are they shooting it in the air? It's got to come down sometime, don't it?

It's got to have 100% and make a mess when it did. So, yeah, they said they just started shouting bang into a microphone instead. And that was enough. Could imagine if you get to actual war and they're like, all right, Gary, line up. Line up the target. He's like, bang. And they're like, no, Gary, actually shoot us. They're shooting at us, Gary.

You've got to fire actual bullets. That was the opposition's argument in parliament they said the reason that they do training with real bullets yeah is to prepare themselves for when they will use real bullets yeah they're going to be ill prepared but they

were still firing rounds when it counted the most right but in all the practice they just started yelling bang instead of actually firing. Yeah, because I'd be like, bang. And then like when you actually fire the gun, like the recoil and I'd be like, whoa, that was so loud. I don't want to do it again. I don't bring it in my ear.

So much louder than when I was just yelling bang to myself. So today's fact of the day is in the year 2000, the British Royal Navy saved themselves five million pounds by just yelling bang rather than shooting actual bullets. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Someone said Hugo Boss was actually a full-blown Nazi and a fully-fledged member of the Nazi party, so... Oh, my goodness me. Good Lord. And here in New Zealand, they say bullet, bullet, bullet.

Oh, so we're tight-ass too. How are we? Budget. Saving money, cutting costs. I want to throw a grenade. Bullet, bullet, bullet. Can I do that? Can you do that in Thailand?

I think so. I don't think that's, I mean. That's like my winner wish. I want a winner wish. You've got a good arm. I'd trust you or James actually. He plays softball, so I'd probably go James. Yeah, but you don't know if he's a pitcher or a catcher.

Does everyone throw it, James? No, you wouldn't be able to rock it into the home base, right? Have you got a rocket arm, James? I do both. I go both ways. Oh, I know. You're versed. Yeah, I can throw pretty hard, though, but I can also catch pretty good as well.

So would you like to throw a grenade with me if we do this? Yeah, I'd throw it. Okay, Caitlin, that's your job. Find a grenade to James and I can throw it. Well, if you're going to do it, I want to throw a grenade. No, I'm not going anywherelin that's your job find a grenade to me james if you're gonna do it i'm not going anywhere near you if you're throwing me i used to be a catcher playing soft boy okay i don't know yellow pages are they still a thing i saw a plan i'm not doing that army are we doing a drive to um pick up yeah and they see us like mascots throwing a grenade. No, I'm not.

I'll throw it out of a tennis ball. It used to be fun, Caitlin. This is my winner wish. I'm busy. You don't get one of those. I've got a runny nose.

I'm sick. I want to throw a grenade too but I want to throw it and then duck behind someone because I can't throw very far. You do it in a concrete structure. I've seen it. What if you kick it?

If you kick it, will it go off when it hits you first? You'll end up like Jojo Rabbit. That's what made me, that's the latest time I've thought man throwing a grenade I know, same!

when I saw that scene in Jojo Rabbit. Anyway, okay, well dreams might come true one day, we'll see. How much is a grenade toss? I'll make a donation. I've just been reading a story We live in a country with a New Zealand police force

And there's a lot of driving involved Yes There's police cars aplenty However, between October 2018 and September 2019 There were 28 incidences Invol involving the police with the wrong fuel put in the car when filling up at the petrol station.

That's my worst nightmare when I borrow someone's car or get a rental car or have a station car and there's no sticker on the flap. But it doesn't matter too much about 91 and 98, does it? No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's not the problem. It's diesel and petrol and petrol and diesels. Now, it's way easier to put petrol into a diesel because if you've ever filled up with diesel, you've got to push that little flap down and there's this big thing like diesel. Are you sure? It's got diesel written on it.

Are you sure? Because you're about to ruin your car. Yeah. So once you've got that pump off, you've probably really thought about it. But in a quick moment, you just grab something. You could easily put petrol into a diesel car

because there's nothing. This might say diesel fuel only. What kind of like cars would be diesel? Like the paddy wagons and stuff? Well, that's, I said, the New Zealand police force, the majority of it was putting petrol into a diesel car. Like mask utes as well.

Because they, you know, sometimes the rural ones have got the utes. Oh, imagine the lashing you'd get if you were a community council in a rural area and you put bloody petrol in your diesel car. Wouldn't it be your round? Yeah. Can they buy rounds?

Are they allowed to buy? I don't know. It's not when they're on duty, obviously. But people are angry. $11,000 these incidences. People make mistakes. Apparently. Well, that's the thing.

They said the police fuel up 225,000 times in a year. So it's going to happen. And plus they make the money back with like drug money, don't they? That they confiscate. Don't they? I don't think they get paid for. Is it not theirs? I don't know.

They don't get paid for that. Okay. 28 incidences at 225,000 means it was one hundredth of a percent chance of doing it. I've seen the sucky truck comes because I've seen it at servos sometimes because some people do this and it sucks all the engine, all the stuff out of your car and then you're good to go, are you? Do you get a refund on that? Be like, well, I'm not using it so I don't want to pay for it.

No. No. It just goes into their tank and then they dump that at sea, I think. Well, what do they do with it? It's pretty contaminated They couldn't use it for anything Yeah Dump it down the drain

When no one's looking Well they probably shouldn't do that either If they're charging money To have it taken away They should have a disposal plan as well Use it for a bonfire It would Yep

Or skids Yeah Drop it on the road For some skids But when I worked at a petrol station People were putting the wrong things in all the time Including me Always remember that story you told me About the person filling up the boat The boat skids. But when I worked at a petrol station, people were putting the wrong things in all the time, including me. Always remember that story you told me about the person

filling up the boat. They put the petrol pump in the fishing rod holder. They thought the fishing rod holder was where you put the fuel in. And you know when you put it, the fishing rod holder's inside a boat, so they just hollow and they just run into the hull of the boat.

So they put it in and clicked it and then walked straight in to the store. And they inside a boat so they just hollow and they just run into the hull of the boat so they put it in and clicked it and then walked straight in to the store and they were like oh just that they were that confident

that that's where it went the boat when it's done the boat when it's done and it wasn't done it just kept going and going and going and then the guy

on the tour was like where are you filling the boat up and he's like just in the fuel hole on the side of the boat oh no and he's like, just in the fuel hole on the side of the boat. Oh, no. And he's like, there's no fuel hole.

You always just fill up the little red tanks, unless it's like an inboard motor. If it's on an inboard, I can see it. And he's like, oh, God. And he went out there and just stuck it in the fish. Like, that was a big deal. Because you'd have to shut down hundreds and hundreds of litres of fuel. Yeah, you'd have to shut down everything.

Yeah, I had to shut down the forecourt because it was just petrol everywhere. That's amazing. Oh, no. Yeah, and'd have to shut down everybody. Yeah, I'd have to shut down the forecourt because of the... It was just petrol everywhere. That's amazing. Oh, no. Yeah, and I always remember my friend at school filling up oil through the dipstick hole and it's just going in.

I don't want to laugh at that because I feel like I could have easily made that mistake. And it works. Yeah, it just takes ages. And you spill heaps. Yeah, it's not like

it's going to the wrong place. Yeah, it's still going down the hole. You wouldn't put it where the set, you wouldn't put it in the 710 hole. Well, I think we should make the police feel better about this mistake

and take those times you've had a motoring whoopsie. Yeah. Maybe it's a refueling whoopsie or you mixed up the washer. Because you know, there's always the one for the window squirters. I bet people put oil in there. What do they put in there?

Oil? I don't know. It's got a squirting thing on the top. I don't know. I'm people put oil in there. What do they put in there? Oil? It's got a squirting thing on the top. I don't know. I'm just saying people do the dumbest things. I'm sure it's happened. Maybe it'd be pretty gold. You wouldn't know until it starts to rain and you squirt it and all of a sudden

you can just see nothing. Well, most of us aren't car people, so there'll be definitely some stories. If you've had a car whoopsie, give us a call. I'll wait. Whether it's a refueling or, I don't know, something to do with spark thingies.

Spark plugs. Help me out here. Spark thingies. You're from a Bogan family. Are you talking about spark plugs? Yeah, those white things. How can you go wrong with spark plugs, though? I don't know.

Maybe someone put a Morrow bar in the hole or something. What? They put a Morrow bar in a hole? I don't know. Oh, my God. I'm just spitballing. Right. Brainstorming some ideas.

Sort it out. All right, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. The New Zealand police have had a couple of whoopsie days when it comes to filling up the car. People are upset. Cost the taxpayer $11,000. Well, mistakes happen, don't they? Whoopsie, we'll try not to do it again.

That's what everybody who's messaging in is saying. You only do these things once because you learn from your mistakes. You do. So we want to know from you, you little car whoopsies, where it all went wrong. Somebody said, my sister worked

at a petrol station and the colour of their pumps were different. That's no good, eh? You always want green and red. Those are your petrols. And then your black is always diesel.

Or green and blue. Oh yeah, green and red. Those are your petrols. And then your black is always diesel. Or green and blue. Oh, yeah, green and blue. Black's always diesel. We can agree on that, right? Black should always be diesel. And is there a red one? Yeah. Okay, good.

Premium. Oh, yeah. Some of them. Right. So I almost put diesel in the car. She ran out saying, stop, that's diesel. And we filled up the car and I went in and we were walking out. I was like, man, that was close.

And then I drove away with the fuel pump stolen and snapped it off. That happens a lot. That happens a lot. Yeah. Somebody else said, I was borrowing my partner's ute. I was eight months pregnant at the time and I got out of the petrol station and filled it up with 91, but it was a diesel. My son-in-law filled up the oil

and then tipped the rest of the bottle on the spark plugs part. That won't work. They won't spark because they're all gooey and stuff. They've got a cover on them and everything, but I don't know why we'd just pour that in. Matt, what was your motoring whoopsie?

So Omnics Mechanics, so I've had a few of them, but probably one of the good ones was I picked a car up from the compliance workshop, so that's the safety workshop when the vehicles come into the country. And as I got about 500 metres down the road, a wheel fell off. Oh no! So the safety workshop's

doing its bit? Yeah. Yeah, so they were on point that day. So the wheel fell off, it bounced down the road, bounced over two cars, and then smacked on the front door of this big office building. And this little old lady opens the door and peers out, and there's a wheel sitting in front of her. Good lord. Gosh, who's knocking on the door so aggressively?

Hiya, Matt. Thanks for your call. Emily, what's your car whoops-a-daisy? Well, we were driving on the highway, my mates and I going to a party, and we Thanks for your call. Emily, what's your car whoops-a-daisy? Well, we were driving on the highway, my mates and I going to a party, and we got a flat tire. We pulled over, and we're trying to fix it, and we're taking hours,

and eventually a police officer pulled over to help us, and it turned out the whole time we were trying to get the plastic bit off of the hubcap. Like a fake plastic screw. A fake plastic nut. Oh, no. How did the hubcap not just fall off?

I don't know. They were all like little attached to each individual one for the screw. You're like, wow, this plastic thing is holding my wheel on.

That's so crazy. Amazing. Emily, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in on car whoopsies. Somebody said, it was a proud moment in our household when our daughter said

she'd topped up her own car with oil. The car didn't run for long on olive oil, but... You are kidding me. No. That's on the parents. Yeah, I think that is a bit on... Olive oil. Also, that's not cheap either.

No. Like, what was it, extra virgin or... A litre of olive oil in oil. Also, that's not cheap either. No. Like, what was the extra virgin? A litre of olive oil in there. Yeah. You got yourself a deal. Somebody else said, my co-worker, the squirty water had run out. Driving around the van, popped the bonnet on the van and filled the brake reservoir with water. As he thought it was when the window washer went $300 mistake to get that drained and fixed.

My husband's put petrol in his diesel ute three times. So it's not one of those mistakes that you only make once. It's possible. He's made it three times.

Three times. Or you get told off on the second and third. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.