ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 14 2018

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

Megan's yearly Christmas Tree letter, Clash of Clutter and what did you find in your car?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello there and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, where you can get a new Nokia on a prepaid rollover pack starting from $19. Now, on with the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Just been watching a trailer for Game of Thrones. Oh. The new season.

It's a teaser, so it's like, it's all old footage, but it's right from the start, eh? Nothing new. A wee refresher in the tumbles. Excuse me, I've just got a pub in my mouth. Nah, it's too long to be a pub. If pubs are that long, you're pubs. Where'd that come from? Big hair in my mouth.

I love a good sizzle reel, though. Oh, yeah. Because effectively, that's what it is, right? It's a recut. All the deaths, wasn't it? All the fights and deaths. Yeah. Well, it was like all the fights,

all the deaths, everything has come to this. So there's not an actual day in April, but they have said April 2019, which is great because they were worried

it would be, people were maybe saying it would be June, July. June or July, yeah. So it's earlier than we anticipated. No, but if it comes earlier, it means it ends earlier.

Yeah, but I just need to know now. It's been a long time. You've waited long enough. I've waited long enough. God, I hope it's a good ending. Or we're going to be pissed. Oh, yeah, there'll be a lot of people pissed. Yeah.

Well, I was reading yesterday, George RRRR Martin. He's struggling to write the last book because of how popular the TV show's been. Ah. What? And they kind of went in a different direction, eh? Yeah.

He gave it the okay, but he said his book would be a little bit different. Copy what they did and just add a few words. Like someone's done the work, mate. No one's going to accuse you of plagiarism. No. So you help them along. Joint effort.

See, yours is written and theirs is visual. Yeah. All right, you lot. Listen up. See, yours is written and theirs is visual. Yeah. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. I've got three news headlines for three interesting,

odd, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan, excuse me, that's probably your cough. I knew it. It started. Kaylin coughed before

and didn't cover her mouth adequately. And Fletcher was like, what are you doing? I'm done with it. like i'm stuck and there's the first cough it started already started already that's quick that's come on quick incubating is that how long coughs take although you've been here sick for like three days caitlyn if i'm sick for friday jams live oh i wouldn't have heard about it if i hadn't been here yeah if she took the day off, you'd be like, where's Caitlin? She'd be in a muddy bed. You can't win. Unless you're like really sick,

like car accident, broken leg kind of thing. So I had to basically get hit by a bus. And then that's when I... Yeah, then I'll be fine. But then I'll probably be like, get back into work. Also, I think a commendation for,

hey, you just didn't say, I hope I'm not sick for the weekend. You chose to include the station promotion Friday Night Friday Jams Live. Hope I'm not sick for the weekend. You chose to include the station promotion Friday Jams Live. Hope I'm not sick for Friday Jams Live. Have a good Western Springs this Sunday. Just a seamless segue there, Vaughn.

Yeah, you're right. Seamless plug. All right, three news headlines. Pick one of the following three. Class assignment takes a dangerous turn. Headline two, Tide Pod goon. And headline three, herpes infectedinfected monkey running around in Florida. Yeah, right.

Is that someone's come home with herpes and they're like, oh, I've got a monkey. I didn't even think of that one. No, that's not, but good excuse. But then actually, you'd probably just rather say you got herpes from a human because what was a monkey doing near your exposed genitals? Yeah, exactly. Very true.

Tide Pod Goon, I know. Yeah, I saw that too. what was a monkey doing near your exposed genitals? Exactly. Very true. Tide pod goon, I know. Yeah, I saw that too. That was on the internet. I was in love with that yesterday. It's basically, so tide pods are the things that everybody keeps saying, oh, teenagers are eating tide pods, doing the tide pod challenge, but they weren't really.

There was like two cases of it. Yeah. The people who ate it the most statistically for emergency room admissions were old people with dementia. And it actually just was sadder than anything. Because they thought they were lollies. But now Tide Pod have released, it's not really a pod, it's a liquid laundry detergent. In a goon. And it looks like it's in a goon of wine. Which is probably, you know what, a good idea because when you've got your laundry liquid, you've got a big bottle, it can get a bit messy.

Yeah. So you just like... Press the goon. And use the little container to put it in. And then when it's in the end, you've got a big bottle, it can get a bit messy. Yeah. So you just like... Press the goon. And use the little container to put it in. And then when you're at the end, you cut it open or squeeze it out.

Yeah, okay. That's great. It actually made a lot of sense, but it does look like sort of a ready-to-drink premixed goon. Yeah, it does. All right,

so do you want story two? Sorry, story one, class assignment takes dangerous turn or the herpes-infected monkey? All right, dangerous turn. The herpes is kind of self-explan, class assignment takes dangerous turn, or the herpes infected monkey. All right, dangerous turn. The herpes is kind of self-explanatory. Okay, dangerous turn.

We go down to Denver, where a class assignment took a dangerous turn. Went to high school, went to Cherry Creek Mall. Now, they, the students were doing a psychology class, I guess, what do you do when you go out and you're, like, assignment? Survey. Like a test. Yeah. So they wanted to test whether or not skin colour would impact strangers' response to borrowing cell phones.

Like, oh, hey, can I just borrow your cell phone to make a call? Right. Mine's dead. I need to call my mum. Wait, who's skin colour? The person asking for the phone? Yes. Okay.

Right. So they obviously had a range of... Well, no, the person asking, yeah, the person need to call my mum. Wait, whose skin colour? The person asking for the phone? Yes. Okay. Right. So they obviously had a range of... Well, no, the person asking... Yeah, the person asking to use the phone. So the person from the class, they obviously had a racially diverse class where they could use... Yeah, they did.

Or they found people to do it. Right. Well, this 17-year-old was with three of his classmates when they decided to run the experiment at the mall. And that's when a man grabbed the student by the arm, accusing him of stealing a woman's wallet. Can I just take a guess and say it was the one at the darker end of the spectrum? Yes, yes, it was. It was the African-American student born. What?

Correct. So, didn't actually find out if he could use the man's cell phone. Because he accused him of a crime. Yeah. The incident was captured on camera, and apparently the student was quoted as saying, he actually grabbed me and threatened to whoop my you-know-what if I didn't give the wallet back.

So, it turns out that the wallet was actually left inside the store. Oh my god. Come on, man. So, I mean, really, you've probably ticked your assignment. You can just go by then, can't you? Yeah. No need to. Sadly, you've actually

learnt a lot more. Yeah. About that. But it's America. Do they even need to go outside to learn that? Yeah. Well, no, not really. So just had to show they're working.

Just walk in. He's like, I'm African-American. Just watch the news. Thank you very much. I'll see you guys later. It's all on camera because one of the students

was filming it because they were obviously filming it for the assignment and this guy's just like, give me back the wallet. Yeah. Man. America. Goodness me. back the wallet. Yeah. Man. America.

Goodness me. Bless. F.E.M. Remember, was it last year that the civil defence alarm was tested in the middle of the night and no warning? It was a mistake, right? It was set to a different time zone. We all got to text.

Yeah. Because am I right in remembering or thinking that it doesn't matter if your phone's on silent, it'll still beep, beep, beep? That's the point, isn't it? It'll just go through all of that. So they have said, Civil Defence, that they will be testing another emergency mobile alert system.

They're giving us warning this time, and it won't be at three in the morning. It will be Sunday, November 25th. So next Sunday, between 6 and 7 p.m., dinner time. I thought you were about to say 8am I was like no On a Sunday Too early

That would be a national crime Yeah But that'll be during Sunday roast People who don't hear about it And there will be a small portion That don't hear about it Will have to bloody walk away from the spuds And they'll come back and everything will be cold

Why do you have to walk away? Because mum doesn't have her phone So you get to higher ground Mum doesn't have it Oh I away? Because mum doesn't have her phone on the bench. It's on the table. In the pantry, charging. No, no, it's somewhere charging. God, I rung my mum's mobile yesterday. Oh, because for some reason I rung her and it came up as private

and they don't answer private numbers because someone always wants something. Yeah, I don't answer them either. It's a great rule. So, I mean, we should all live by it. So, I rung and her mobile was on, which is really weird because she has it off unless she's going somewhere. My mum too. The battery will go flat, but what's the point of having it?

This one's not very good. I have to charge it once a week. Oh, you poor doll. So, yeah, I'm just worried that if people don't hear about it, it's a heck of a time Sunday night, you'll panic them. Well, yeah, it still says it's a test, doesn't it? If you were them, though, what's the best time? You don't want to do it in the morning because you'll wake someone up.

Lunchtime on a Sunday? Yeah, I just hate that you think you got a message and it's not from anyone exciting. Does it sound like a message, though? I thought it was like an alarm. Yeah, that's right. It did, eh? Because it did a special beep.

It wasn't like getting a text message. Yeah. Well, on my phone, I think. So they've also said that not all phones are capable of receiving the alerts, so we need to look after each other. If you get one, you need to tell everyone around you. It's a good way of weeding out those who aren't willing to embrace new technology. So basically...

We can't afford new technology. A lot of people's parents. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My parents won't get it. They're approaching retirement. They're a drain on society. So I reckon it's good.

It's good. It'll flush them out. I just say this because everybody important in my life has a smartphone. Or will have someone that can carry them. Yeah, right. A story out of Australia that 50% of rideshare drivers, like Uber, I don't know what other apps they have over there. Do they have Lyft over there?

I don't know. There's always a local version. Yeah. Because we've got Zoomy. Yep. That's our... And another one's just launched. Ola. Ola.

Ola. Yes. O-L-A. That's just launched. Yeah. Apparently 50% of drivers Are lasting 3 months or less And they're citing bad pay

Right And terrible work hours Yeah exactly But the hours where you could be guaranteed work Would be horrible to work And then the passengers Awful people Drunk

Obnoxious Yeah Or even sober But just people Terrible But we ride in them. Yeah, and we are terrible. Awful people.

Hey, I've got a great Uber rating thing. Yeah, I've got a pretty good one as well. I've got a pretty good one. Yeah, I'm the nicest out of you three, and I've got the worst. I love bringing this up because you do. I don't understand. Have you taken like some little real little short rides

or something? Nah. Okay. You have. Fletch has. But maybe you are a bad person. Is it because I'm a woman? Oh, here we go.

Here we go. Oh, here we go. Play the unplayable card. That's like the Uno card. You're just like, I've got to. It's my wild card. You've saved your wild card to end and you've just said Uno. And we're like, well, we can't play anymore.

But do you think because you hear about this this at Uber Eats restaurants as well, they aren't having a good time, a lot of them, eh? No, it costs them so much money to be part of it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's additional business for lazy people that don't want to leave home. But would you mind paying more? I mean, we'd mind. For your Ubers?

Of course you'd mind, but you'd probably still do it. Like if the Uber Eats delivery fee was higher, I mean, you'd be like, oh, that sucks. But you'd still do it because it's hitting you at a vulnerable moment. I see. I heard an ad for a taxi company that have got an app now. Oh, yeah. And they're like, oh, no surge prices.

Not naming anybody. Yeah, but they'll still charge you extra to pick you up from the airport and per car. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, prices aren't as cheap. But they're just trying to compete. Obviously, it's one of those industries that everybody's, it's a race to the bottom, you know? Because I don't know, I'm a bit torn on it, because it is

it's so much cheaper than, like, for example, if you go from the airport in Auckland to downtown, that could be like 40, late 40s, like 50 bucks, 48 bucks. In an Uber. In an Uber. Whereas in a taxi, when we get them for work, and we're not paying, well, anywhere between 80 and 100. Right, yeah.

That's what they normally are, right? Yeah. And, you know, that's what, 35 minutes? Yeah. So, I mean, that's a good rate, though, isn't it? But then, you know, I was having a Google. It's like... Uber takes 20 to 25% as their fee.

Right. Whereas other apps are a bit lower. It's like to the airport, we need a vehicle that can take you there that one person can drive that like heaps of people can go on. And maybe it's got like a set route or something just to keep prices down.

Like a taxi, but for like 30, 40 people at once. Oh, a bus. See how she said it was great until the B word got mentioned? See how she was like, that sounds great. But it doesn't pick me up from where I am. I have to walk to it. See, there we go. Defends the purpose.

It sounded great right until she worked out it was a bus. Can you hear this attitude? That's what gives you a low Uber rating. But the bus went on rails. Oh, that's a train. I still have to pick that up from a certain area. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there.

Today's Top Six, the Top Six things to do when you buy a zoo. A family are selling a Taranaki wildlife site after owning it for four years. That doesn't seem like long. Nah. Adam and Lou have owned it for four years. This is houses for a mix. He's from Turkey. She's from China, but they met in Hamilton and then moved to Taranaki to take over a zoo four years ago.

Wow. That's a real international zoo, isn't it? It is, yeah. Animals and people from all over the world. So they've had it for four years. Reading between the lines, lions, lions, reading between the lines, it seems like it might have been a bit much.

They might have thought we could run a zoo and then after four years they're like, we can't run a zoo. They just want to move to Hamilton. Bat and run. Who knows? Someone's always got to be on duty. You probably couldn't go on holiday if you owned a zoo.

Nah, I don't think so. It's hard enough to go. You know what it's like going on holiday with one cat. You've got to find someone to look after your cat. Oh, yeah, true. It's a pain in the butt. Yeah. So they're selling, this is on Carrington Road

in New Plymouth and it has lions and tigers, meerkats, monkeys, goats and a variety of farm animals. It's been there for years. Like, I remember going on a school trip. Did it have lions and tigers

when you were... Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it did. Because you wouldn't be able to get a lion, like, once that lion's dead, like, you're just going to have to get a big dog and make it look like a lion. You're not going to get another lion in 2018. Oh, probably not. I wouldn't be able to get a lion once that lion's dead. You're just going to have to get a big dog and make it look like a lion.

You're not going to get another lion in 2018. Oh, probably not. I wouldn't imagine. It's probably not easy, no. Nah. So the top six things to do if you buy the zoo, when you buy the zoo. Number six, lock yourself in the office and set all the animals free. I don't know why.

Why not? You know in movies when there's like a power outage and a disaster film and all the doors open on the zoo and then all the animals get out? Yeah, but you're going to lose your goats. And what else? Oh, they're gone. Yeah. The lion's going to be like, easy now.

If you stay, if you're in that office a couple of days, the problem will just sort itself out to the couple of tigers. Yeah, and then they're going to go looking for food. Yeah. Also great for the region. You know, like in Canterbury, they've got the Black Panther. Yeah. Isn't their situation. There is.

So if you've got roaming lions or tigers, great for tourism in the area and really add some spice to the bushwalk. Yeah. What will I see today? A tui, maybe a kukako, or will I be mauled to death by that lion that that guy set free when he bought that zoo? Number five on the list of the top six things to do

when you buy a zoo, I just say to everyone, it's just like that movie, you know, the Matt Damon one. No, not the born identity. The one where he buys a zoo. Can't remember what it's called. We bought a zoo.

Yes, we did buy a zoo. Which none of us at Caitlin, producer Caitlin, you've seen this movie. What actually happens? They buy a zoo. It's based on a... It's a lovely movie. Well, lots of dramas happen because someone tries to buy the land,

but they want to keep all the animals there. And then one of the lions gets quite sick. But it's also a love story between Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson. There's a little kiss at the end and it makes me really happy. Sounds boring. It's based on a true story. It does sound boring. He loses his wife, right?

And he's like, that's it, kids, we're moving to the country. And the kids are like, oh, I don't want to move. And the little girl's like real into it, but the boy's like a bit sulks for a wee bit. Yeah, this is great. But then he needs another girl there. So it's so great. I've seen it like three times. Really?

Yeah. Where do you watch movies over and over again? Because, Fletch, why not enjoy things that you like doing? Why do you always eat five apples a day? Because, Fletch, why not enjoy things that you like doing? Why do you always eat five apples a day? Eh? She's got you there. Movies, apples, and mandarins.

I eat two apples a day. Okay. And how many mandis? Five to six a day. Five to six mandarins. Yeah. So there you go. You can totally recreate that movie.

Number four on the list of the top six things you can do when you buy a zoo. Speaking of recreating movies, you could also recreate the movie Madagascar. Or at least try, because if that was real, that lion would have eaten everything else that starred in that movie. I like to move it. Move it. Number three on the list of the top six things to do when you buy a zoo Do hilarious things with a tiger that people usually do with their cat Like make a tiger chase a laser pointer

Oh my god Wouldn't a tiger chase a laser pointer? Maybe Hundy And then when it's dinner time go And shake the cat biscuits to get the tiger like real rolled up and excited And then when you're trying to put jelly meat in its bowl and the tiger won't get out from under your feet,

kick it and be like, thugger off, just give us a chance. I've just Googled the tiger and the laser. It is, it's chasing it. Oh, my God. It's mildly interested. Here we go, here we go. Oh, it's picking up now. That tiger wants that laser.

This is so great for everyone listening. I would chase a laser. As a human. If I saw a laser, I'd be like, what are you doing over there? It's a bit, it's a bit,

oh yeah, it's got up now. It took a while for it to get up, but it's definitely chasing it like a cat does. So confused. Number two on the list

of the top six things to do when you buy a zoo. Try and spark cute romances between different animals. I would totally do that. Creating cute hybrids, maybe, but also just being able to be like, you could put a picture on the internet

and be like, this meerkat fell in love with a goose. And now they're lifelong buddies and they're both dudes. So they're homosexual and different species. Deal with it. It's 2018. Meerkat meet Goosey. Goosey has an annoying voice, but once you get Deal with it. It's 2018. Meerkat meet Goosey. Goosey has an annoying voice,

but once you get to know it... It's like... What does a meerkat do? The goose is like... Getting on like a house on fire. That's just the small animals. It sounds like a better love story than that Matt Damon movie.

Yeah, it does. It's more exciting. Caitlin would watch this one once a week. Number one on the list of the top six things to do when you buy a zoo. Clean up at school pet day every year because you've got a white tiger. Also, by the way, like school pet day, that's not a thing for us city. No. We don't know.

What about just pets? No. Did you ever take pets to school? No. That's why I said pet day, not agricultural day, because I wanted to include you townies. No, we didn't do that in the town. Only you rural folk take you. This was so much fun.

You seen someone's dog would eat someone's cat and someone would bring a rat. Well, it was a leashed environment. Right. But you put a leash on a white tiger, it's still going to walk right over to a golden retriever and bite its head off. Yeah, true. That is today's top six. The effects of blue light have been known for a little while

from cell phones. It's emitted from smartphone screens. That's how they maintain their brightness so you can see them outside and stuff. They have a predominantly blue light. The seating on the iPhone, I know. I don't know if Samsung's have it. Oh, they will because, you know,

whenever you mention something on an iPhone, I know. I don't know if Samsung's have it. Oh, they will because, you know, whenever you mention something on an iPhone, Samsung users are like, yeah, welcome to 2016, we're in the evolution. We've had that for ages. No, welcome to the evolution. Is that how Samsung people speak? Yes. That's born.

All of them. Yes, Megan, all of them. Okay. I'll make a rash claim, all of them. But it Yes, Megan. All of them. Okay. I'll make a rash claim. All of them. But it's quite noticeable, eh? Like, I think it automatically comes on because I use the bedtime alarm. So we'll say it's nearly bedtime and the blue light will come on.

No, no. No, the blue light. The orangey light. It's an orange light. The blue light disappears from that setting. It uses a warm light. But why don't we just have the orange light all the time? Because when you go into like really bright conditions,

it's hard to see like outside and stuff. Okay. Yeah, so it's the easiest one to see sharpness on, the blue light. The effects of blue light though, especially when you go to bed, can be that you can't get to sleep. That's why you always see somebody on Instagram that's like, insomnia is a real pain in the ass, posting an Instagram story at one o'clock.

It's like, well, put down the phone for a start. How hard are we trying? And so you can turn it on to orange because the blue light keeps you awake. Right. So I've learned that the blue light, it's our old primal brains, the old brain that can't keep up with the...

Technology. The technology advances that we're experiencing. It means that blue light's predominant in the mornings, like at dawn and during the day. So the old primal brain from when we were wearing furs and everything, not like the 1920s, I'm not talking about those sorts of furs. Like caveman.

Caveman days. Indicated to us it was time to get going, stay alert, get it done. And when the orange light became the prominent light, it was time to retire and switch off the brain and rest and recuperate. So we're kind of programmed to do that, but we're forcing the blue light in our eyes late at night, which means we sleep.

Your body thinks it's daytime. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It can be handy. It can be handy to adjust to like jet lag and stuff. Right. Apparently. Right. If you're trying to adjust to jet lag and stuff, apparently, if you're trying to adjust to a new time zone. So it can be handy for that.

But we talked about this yesterday after the show, and we got our screen stats of how many minutes we spend on a screen. And do you know, after we talked about this, further proof that Facebook's definitely listening, I had targeted advertising for a new Go Healthy vitamin from those Go Healthy people. It's called the Blue Light vitamin or something and it's to

reduce the effects of blue light. I'm like, what vitamins are these? How can they say they're not listening? Seriously, every week there'd be a friend that says they're listening. But when you say they're listening, is it a computer listening or is someone actually listening? No, it's not someone.

It's a computer program. So they heard us talk about blue light. They've got call centres, Megan, where people are just listening to everyone's phone. But your computer would have to be pretty smart to make a connection between screen time and blue light pills. But we talked, but I was telling you about screen time and blue light and everything. So it might have just been having blue light was the key word. You sound a bit crazy though when you're always like, they're listening. I know, it's a little tinfoil-y.

But then I didn't Google it on my computer, I Googled it on my phone. But that's all connected. Why? Why? How's that connected? Well, it's connected. Your Facebook's on your phone. Oh, it is too.

Oh, God. Just take off my tinfoil hat and put it back in the drawer for a minute. But right, okay, yeah. But it would happen very quickly. Yeah, well, it's the internet. And actually, I didn't even Google it. I just read an article because I saw it. I didn't actively search for it.

I just read the article. That'd be enough. But what was, how do we find out our screen time again? You have a little. So you swipe to the right. Yeah. And then it's under screens. This, so you swipe to the right. Yeah. Um, and then it's under the,

under screens. This is on iPhones. I'm sure, does Samsung, they've probably got it. Well, welcome to the, um,

okay. It tells you, your average of how much you've been on your phone. Oh, it tells you what, like what categories. That's,

yeah. So I've been on my phone for 43 minutes so far today, um, which is seven minutes above average for this time, so I'm told. 28 minutes of that is social networking. How many minutes? Is this the last seven days? 43.

Or today. That's today so far. How much have you been on today? Today? 42 minutes. I've been on 10 minutes. I'm like way lower than you. Are you winning an award?

What is your 10 minutes. I'm like way lower than you. Are you winning an award? What is your 10 minutes? If you click on last seven days. I don't want to. If you click on last seven days of using your phone, it is confronting. It is horrible. So your weekly total, is that what you're talking about? Yeah, but you get a per day that you've been on your phone and a weekly total. What's your per day?

I'm doing 161 pickups a day. Yeah. That's a lot, eh? It's not good, eh? Mostly on Saturday and Sunday there was more pickups. I watch Netflix at the gym. I watch Netflix at the gym. Oh, yeah, this is the greatest way to see what your friends' excuses are like.

Because the minute they're confronted with that, they'll start coming up with excuses. Eight hours of Instagram. What, a week? That's insane. excuses. Eight hours of Instagram. What? A week? That's insane. I message a lot on Instagram. Is that all?

What are you? I did 11 hours in three minutes. I have seven hours. Jeez. That's too much. But then Facebook's like, that, that, Facebook's fallen over. Yeah. Really, it's right down there.

All right. I spent more time on Chrome than I did on Facebook. Just ignore that. Just swipe up and ignore that. We'll ignore that. FBM, the podcast. FBM. I know this place. Just ignore that. Just swipe up and ignore that. We'll ignore that. FBM, the podcast. Okay, I've got a problem, an issue, and it hasn't

happened yet. I think it's imminent any day now. I've worked it out on Google Maps. 478 metres away from my front door, a Krispy Kreme is about to open. 480 metres. Oh, no. Calories burnt on a Krispy Kreme is about to open. 480 metres. Yeah. Rounding calories burnt on 480 metre walk.

You, so you can resist like KFC and McDonald's and stuff, but you're a sweet treats guy. I know, this is a problem. I'm a real sweet treats guy. You're a sweet tooth. Oh yeah, no you're not. So how many calories do you walk off in 500 metres? It said if you did a brisk walk for 15 minutes, you'd burn 60 calories.

So you're a very brisk walker. You could get there and back in 15, I reckon. So 60 calories. A plain glazed donut. Yeah. Just the donut and the glazed icing that's, you know, almost see-through icing, that icing. That's 190 calories. A plain glazed donut. Yeah. Just the donut and the glazed icing that's, you know, almost see-through icing, that icing. That's 190 calories.

Yeah, what do I call waste of time icing? No, but that's like less than a chocolate bar. And you know, you need carbs for brain function and stuff. And energy. But this is just another, like you live on an island way out west, Megan. Yeah. I have to be really motivated to go anywhere. Another energy. Another. Like, you live on an island way out west, Megan. Yeah. Like. I have to be really motivated to go anywhere.

Like, how long would it take you to go to a. That was clever thinking, actually. Yeah. No, it's smart. It's like if you lived in the country. Like, what did you do growing up? Would you have to buy snacks ahead of plan? Oh, yeah.

You had chest freezers in there. Big chest freezers. And if it wasn't in there, you weren't eating it. I'd just make icing. But then mum always had some oven fries out there. I'd make icing out of icing sugar and cocoa. And butter. And just eat it.

And do you know, I'm just out of the Uber Eats zone as well. That's also good. So what's your nearest dairy slash, if you need a chocolate bar or ice cream? It's like an hour and a half walk away, so I'm not going to be walking there. An hour and a half walk? Yeah.

To a dairy or supermarket? Yeah. But at 10 minutes in a car? 10 minutes in a car. But then, yeah. How is it taking you an hour and a half to walk what takes you 10... We've discussed this. It's like an 80k zone. So you drive really fast. It's 10 minutes. But then when you need to walk it, it's a very far

way. So this is my problem. I've got yet another temptation. Add to all of the fast food restaurants. If these were landmines, you'd live in the field. I'm living in a field of diabetes landmines. Yeah, type 2. 100% you're type 2. Do you have to walk past it to

get home? Or you could walk past it. I could easily walk past this to get home. It would be impossible for you to walk home to your house and not go past some form of treat. Oh, no. Yeah, I walk past a couple of supermarkets to go home, multiple fast food, all the fast food major outlets,

KFC, McDonald's, BK. They're all there. They're all there. Even at Dunkin' Donuts, if I bed slightly to the right and then down. Like everything is there. Everything is in the city. It's all temptation. You guys have it great.

You're living out in the... My neighbourhood, well known for its dairies. For its bakeries rather. I think we've got five bakeries. We've got at least four fish and chip shops. At least four fish and chip shops. least four fish and chip shops and we've got two pizza places you've got the supermarket we've got a lot of food yeah you drive past per capita well you've got to drive it's all on the main street so you've got to drive past it

to get on and off but again if you were craving sweet delicious treats and you didn't have them in your house if i had to walk, it would be a five minute tops walk to the dairy at the end of the road. And there's a fish and chip shop and a Chinese. See, I can literally... I don't even drive past

any of that. I can literally get the elevator to the ground floor and walk 10 metres out the door to a dairy and then back in with my pockets full of ice cream,

And there's a booze shop there as well. And there's a booze shop and Indian takeaways. And you could probably do it in your pyjamas. I've done it. And you could phone ahead. in your pyjamas. I've done it. And you could phone ahead.

Yeah, probably. And be there in 10 seconds. So I wanted to talk now, what is your neighbourhood temptation? Like, what do you live really close to that you just can't say no to sometimes? This was like when in Hamilton, I flatted like 50 metres from KFC

and it was an easterly breeze. KFC was like... Yeah, with the wind blows. It was just whaffed. Yeah. You'd be like, all right, lads, kernel burger. Wicked wings. Let's migrate.

And you'd be like, we'll walk, eh? Because, you know... You didn't drive. We, on more than one occasion, drove. Oh, my God. And on more than one occasion, had to get someone to move a car so that we could drive. You literally could have been there faster.

Yeah, could you move your car and we need to go down to KFC. Why don't you just work? Walk. Come on, mate. Move the car. Alright.

0800 Dials at M. You can text 9696. What is your neighbourhood temptation? Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast.

Sam. We want to know now. 0800 Dials at M. 9696. What your local temptation is. It seems unfair they're adding a Krispy Kreme to your already heavy load of temptation. I know. Could you eat like 20 Krispy Kremes in one day and then you won't want to touch your Krispy Kreme ever again?

Oh, the old smoking situation. Overdo it and then yeah. You catch your kids smoking, you make them smoke a whole pack so they get sick. Or addicted to smokes. Easily do six or seven and probably still want to have some more. And then you're going to need a drink, but water's not going to do it. You're going to need like a milkshake or something. Yeah.

This is how it all goes downhill, doesn't it? So, yeah, what is your local temptation? We want to know from you. Some text messages in. Caitlin, maybe we could come to you. The Fairleigh Bakehouse has had a mention. The Cronuts from the Fairleigh Bakehouse. Cronuts. Remember text messages in. Caitlin, maybe we could come to you. The Fairleigh Bakehouse has had a mention. The Cronuts from the Fairleigh Bakehouse.

Cronuts. Remember those? Yeah, they hit the ground running, the old Cronut. Is Doug partial to a Cronut there? Yeah, Taylor always goes to the Bakehouse. This is Big T.

Big T. Big T. Big T. I've never actually... Okay. I've never actually... Sexy little brother. Stop it.

Can you... I was actually flipping shut up stop it let's talk about Michelle oh yeah she's a babe

she's alright she's alright she's no Tay Tay she's no Tay Tay anyway talk of the town we're not that's not

carry on with your texts god um but Caitlin's got a hot brother if you haven't worked with her if you haven't cottoned onto that one Vaughn's got a hot brother if you haven't worked it out if you haven't cottoned onto that one

Vaughn's got a hot sister I know strange that they're related but it should be absolutely no surprise look at this genetically we're made up of the same stuff

so that's just maths I'm a nurse our tea room is always stacked with chocolate and chippies it's like you might need a bit of energy.

It's like, yeah, but I didn't need the extra roll. Yeah, but it's bad energy, isn't it? You always come crashing down from it. But at the time, you're like, yep, this chocolate bar is what I need. Yummy. Somebody else said that their sister lives across the road from the best dairy ever. So they've got all the classic lollies. And it's pretty hard to say no to kablooies

on Nostalgia Online. Kablooies. All right, should we take some calls? Josh, what's your neighbourhood temptation? The peppermint twist. I've got one of those. Is that the same one in my neighbourhood? It sure is.

It's an ice cream shop. It definitely is. But my problem with it is like the kids always want to go there, but it's just like a standard ice cream parlour. Yeah, but it's just scoop ice cream. You can't go past it. I agree. It is weird.

No, but it's an entire shop dedicated to scoop ice cream. It's not like a dairy where they'll do a scoop ice cream. The entire thing's vibe is... What kind of flavours? Well, just your standard ones that come in those big cardboard boxes. Right. What do they do in winter? They keep their doors open. Oh. in those big cardboard boxes. Right. What do they do in winter? They keep their doors open.

Oh. And they're never not. Right. With patron. That gets you all the time, Josh? Yeah, definitely. Me and my partner and we take the kids there. Try to go once a weekend in summer especially.

Are they decent scoops? Not bad. Now I want an orange choc chip. Yeah, okay. Not bad. What? You get double scoop and then chocolate coat it with a waffle cone. Oh.

That's how they get you the upgrades. They do. Exactly. Can we just, he said orange choc chip. No, that's a legit. I'm a big fan of the chocolate chip options. Mint choc chip. Never ever call me a nana with my choices ever again.

No one likes orange choc chip, you weirdos. Why do they keep making it, Megan? Yeah, ask the supermarkets. I'm like the bottom of the popularity list. What's above it? If you just wanted to cook ice cream. Everything. No.

Goody, goody gumdrops. Oh, your goody gumdrops is good. Boysenberry's even above that. Oh, I do love a boysenberry ripple. Look, I'm not picking favourites amongst my children. Or a mint choc chip. Yeah, I'll eat it all. Don't worry about that. I'm desperate, I'll love a boysenberry ripple. Look, I'm not picking favourites amongst my children. Yeah, I'll eat it all.

Don't worry about that. I'm desperate, I'll eat it. Some other text messages in. A cheese shop just opened at the end of the street. A cheese shop? Why'd they open that? I said when it opened. Well, now I'm a regular. Yeah, because you know that studies have shown that it's like drug addiction cheese.

Is it? The same reactions. Oh, that explains everything. That explains why you're always injecting camembert into your veins. Yeah, it's good for you, I think. You should have said injecting blue into your veins because it's like blue vein. Blue vein cheese.

That's hot cheese pump. Good call. I assume it doesn't say where this is from, but I assume this is a text from Christchurch. There's a souvlaki store five minutes walk away. I saw stuff did an article. Oh, no, was it news? It was a spin-off, wasn't it?

Spin-off. Spin-off did it. Why is Christchurch obsessed with souvlakis? What? Because they're the best. They are, but they aren't great. Every Christchurch you go and they're like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, we should grab a souvlaki.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm with me. I love them. Yeah, so good. They're okay. Well, they're just a kebab in a cone form. Let's not get nuts about them. It's not a kebab.

The bread's different. Eh. You say bread, I say bread. Okay, next time we're there, we're going to get a buddy Christchurch souvlaki. It's like a kebab with a naan. I mean, I can see the appeal. Let's not go nuts about it. Write that down next time we're on Crush It.

Let's not go bananas. I've had one. I've had Dimitri's. It's good, but I'm not waving a flag for him. How dare you? It feels to me like everybody's in on some sort of commission for Dimitri. I don't even know if he's still around. Are we on to second generation Dimitri?

It's okay. I feel like my soul's offended. I'll have one. See, he's got you. It's because they're delicious. It's like a bloody religion. You guys are all hooked. It's like crack.

Okay. Holding out. Give me a kebab. I can have a kebab. If it was shut, I wouldn't cry. But I'm all, should we just go get something else? Copeland's Bakery.

Somebody else said, temptation to have donuts for breakfast every day. Yum. Somebody said, I'm not a coffee drinker, but my partner will sometimes come home with three coffees from a place around the corner. I'd be like,

you're expecting company. He's like, no, I just got one to have there, one for the road. I told them I was bringing one home for you. But he always eats the treats before he gets home. That's classic, though.

Yeah, isn't it? They must have some good treats as well. I don't know, it's got a little zest to it. No, it's disgusting. It's got a little something. It's like Jeff's ice cream. Yeah, Jeff is a delicious. Still arguing about ice cream flavours here.

Post Malone, ZM, 829. Well, Vaughan's moving, and there's a whole lot of crap in his garage that has to go. Megan, you stepped in to help the videos at ZM Online, our Facebook page, Instagram. Yeah, we're trying to declutter, and I've actually taken eight items from your garage and each day we're putting two up against each other.

So you get to keep one and someone gets to inherit one. And somebody messaged me asking me if my chopper bike had been taken. I said, no, it's still firmly in place. You don't ride it ever. I was trying to take that down and he absolutely had a tantrum. It's rusty. It's rusty. It's rusty. No, it's just, yeah, yeah.

That's beside the point. It was a gift. It's rusty. You haven't even looked after it. No, no, it's not rusty. It's just the chromey bits on the mud guards. Are rusting. It's called rust.

Yeah, but it's all good. It's called rust. It's just surface. So right now on 0800DARLS.M, somebody is going to get the chance. To win one of these two items. Thanks for the support overnight to the people saying, oh, that garage isn't even messy. I just assume that comes from people who are living in a really stacked garage. Yeah, I think you knew we were coming.

Yeah. Whose garage don't even actually house cars. Yeah, just crap. You know those garages that are just full of stuff. So today, the two items, and we need someone to call up and request which item you'd like. You just get to take it. Look at the phone lines.

They're going nuts. People don't even know what's up for grabs. Just hoping it's not rubbish. So item number one. A bag of tissues. I've been looking. No.

No? It is a bag. It's a golf bag. For your non-existent golf career. I've got a putter. Which, by the way, how much stuff in your garage is free stuff that we've been given over the years? Heaps. Like that golf bag we got given.

In 2010 when we went to the Gold Coast for the Trans-Tasman Mini Golf Championships. Does it even have clubs in it? No, it's got a putter. A putter. But the end fell off the putter. When was the last time you used it? Have you used it? No, it's got a putter. A putter. But the end fell off the putter. When was the last time you used it? Have you used it? For the mini golf championships in 2010.

It's pretty legit though, because when you go to put it down, like it's a carry bag, it doesn't have wheels. Yeah. But when you go to put it down, its own little legs pop out. So it makes a stand.

So it makes a stand, so it can stand itself up, which is when you're carrying a bag, you generally have to lie it down and lug it up every time. But this one, it's little eggs pop out and like, that's great. That's, that's, I mean, I don't know why I'm trying to sell it to anybody who wants to steal my

golf bag. And item number two today is your telescope. My, um. Which was also given to you, was it not? Doesn't have Samsung written on it? Yeah, it was. Yeah. It was for the Samsung Galaxy

when they launched the Galaxy. It's pretty legit though. On a clear night when it's a full moon, I'll get it out and have a look at the full moon. When was the last time? Okay, there was one night with that telescope when I saw the rings around Saturn. That's pretty cool. From my own backyard. Okay. There's a lot of light pollution

in the centre of the city. I'm moving to a more rural lifestyle. Yeah. And I just feel that there's going to lot of light pollution in the centre of the city. I'm moving to a more rural lifestyle and I just feel that there's going to be less light pollution and more chances to observe this wonderful galaxy we live in. But your wife, Sade, hates the telescope, doesn't she? No, she doesn't hate it. She just refused to have it as a

feature piece in the lounge. Because I wanted to look like one of those smart people with a globe and a telescope. No, but don't they have big stands and big gold telescopes? Yeah, like ornamental ones. But I was like, I could spray paint it. I could totally, I asked the guy at Mitre 10 and he's like, 100% gold paint will stick to that. Gold!

Christ. But that seems like a brass telescope. And a wooden stand. Shauna, welcome to Clash of the Clutter. Hi. Now, you've heard the two items that are up for grabs. Vaughn's telescope that was free. And Vaughn's golf bag and putter, which is also free.

No, the putter's gone. It's broke. Oh, okay. So minus the putter. I might be able to find a couple of golf balls. Okay. And it is covered in dust, Shauna. So which of the two items for Clash of the Clutter,

which one do you want to pick? 100% the golf bag. Do you play golf? Shauna, do you play golf? Well, I wouldn't say I play. I dabble. See, me too. It sounds like it's going from one hoarder to another.

I just started and, like, someone's going to be a ripper of golf. I'll tell you. I've got so many golf plans coming up. Well, this is great. So you're actually going to use it? Yeah, I will. I promise.

I am sad to see it go, but I like the sound of you. I like these plans because I'm a man who runs on a lot of plans too. I'm a plan guy. And you never follow through though, do you? No, no. Well, actually, I do in my golf swing. It's important. One back, two through.

That's not how you golf swing, but okay. I've got a golf. Shauna, congratulations. You've got a golf bag. Yay. Look after it. Please send us photos of you using it over summer. Yes, that'd be great.

Or just a photo of you hoarding it in your garage like Vaughn. Either way. All right, well done. Another two items tomorrow when Clash of the Clutter returns. I have bad news for sugar babies. And it's not that you just might have to touch an old dude's willy. This is, if you're not familiar with the term, it's basically younger women are with older rich dudes.

And I mean, the situations differ. There might be sex involved. There could be nothing apart from company dates. But it's a mutual agreement. Yep. And a lot of them get like free rent. Some of them get houses bought for them. They don't even see the guys hardly ever.

They might be overseas. We talked to that one once that was provided with a car to drive. That's right. We had a sugar baby come in and answer your questions. Yeah. So here's something. An accountant has come forward and said, with all this talk about sugar babies,

they should be paying tax on these gifts. And if they're accepting cash in exchange for a service that is called a job and there is a tax code to go with it and you should be paying tax. I get the cash because yeah

they're essentially doing a job but how do you pay tax on like if they get given a car? Fringe benefit tax right? Is that what that is? I don't know Vaughan. I've got no idea. If you get something, like

if with your job, part of the parcel is a car and fuel to go with, technically that's part of your employment package, right? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I was just agreeing with you. There can be a fringe benefit tax. Really?

So, but what if he takes you out, your sugar daddy takes you out for dinner? Yeah. Is that all right? And he pays for dinner. That's goods in exchange for service. Yeah, true. Do you have to pay tax on dinner?

Or maybe you just give like half of your fish fillet to IRD. Just send them a quarter of your dinner. Send them your leftovers. But then you're going to have to prove that they actually did anything for it. He could just be like, here's a handbag. And you're like, well, I didn't even have to do anything. A gift that is given in return for services or receive something back.

Well, in this case, you've got an agreement. It could be just companionship. Friendship. Yeah. Even if it's not sexual, it's not a gift under New Zealand rules. So meaning it's not a gift, you've got to declare it. But then you could just argue that you're just friends. This guy has been scorned by a sugar

baby in my opinion. Yeah. Like, just shush. She broke the agreement and he's like, that's it! Tax the lot of them! Get it done! Tax them! Is he just angry he can't be a sugar baby? Or he's just like, the rest of us, we're all paying tax, so they should be too. But I just think, like, that's,. Or he's just like, the rest of us, we're all paying tax so they should be too. But I just think like,

that's, unless you've got like an actual signed contract, you could just be like, we're just friends and he decided to give me a handbag. Yeah, there's no way

to prove it. Yeah, it'd be, it'd be a hard one to prove. Sorry, not sorry. He thinks I'm cool enough to give me a handbag. Yeah, but I mean, if plumbers get in trouble

for doing cashies, then, then so should sugar babies. But do they? They all do it. Oh, yeah, they love it. I would too. My accountant told me, if you're...

So if for some reason doing a cashie is against the law. Yeah. But if they'll say, oh, I'll do it for cash, they should be knocking at least 50% off. So if someone's like, it's $400 on the box, I'll do it cash $350. You should say, no, cash $200. Because that's what they'd get anyway.

Exactly. If you're taking away all the taxes they'd pay on it. I know, but if they're going to be doing an illegal transaction, they would need to get something out of it, not what they would get normally. Prisons, what are they going to do? So they need the extra $150 to make prison worthwhile. To put aside for their lawyer and their professional accountant to go through their books afterwards.

Put my Christmas tree up yesterday. I was met with love and hate on the gram. Who hated it? People were just like, give us November. Yeah, they're not wrong. I'll give them that. Yeah, someone was like, I'm a twitch. What are we, 14th, almost halfway through November?

It's not that far away from Christmas. I know, but it's just... It's the most wonderful time of the year and you want to make the most of it. You've got a lovely fake Christmas tree that won't die early. It's bushy. It's full. It's thick. It was new last year. I got it out this year

and I was like, yes, good investment. I don't even own a Christmas tree. To me that's so sad. As Christmassy as I get because I'm not going to be here in my place for most of Christmas. So the most I get is... I don't think that's why you put it up now. No, but then I come back and I've got to take it down.

And nowhere to put it. I'm not interested. I'm not interested in your joyous, your singing, your family, your nonsense. I did get the pine-smelling Akoyaoya Christmas candle though. And that's as far as your festivities go. No, because I light it and I'm like, smells like Christmas trees. That's good. I don't have to have a tree in my house. Don't have to have all the crap.

The cat's not going to knock it down. Perfect. I sat watching TV yesterday with the glow of the Christmas lights and I was like, nothing. Oh, that's annoying. That's annoying. I don't like that. Turn them off. I know. I've got to have total darkness for the TV screen. Oh, I love it. I put Christmas music on while I decorated it

and I was like, man, I feel better already. I feel festive. What music did you listen to? A bit of Buble? It was like a Christmas one on Spotify. It was the old classics. I saw on your Insta story you were wrapping presents. You wrap a good present. Yeah, I released my Christmas wrap for 2018. You released my wrap. You wrap a good present. Yeah, I released my Christmas wrap for 2018.

I released my wrap. You may have seen it. Release the wrapping. It's a silver sparkle wrapping with a black ribbon. Pretty good, pretty good. For all those who wanted to know where from, it's just from Look Sharp.

You know? Really? Keep it cheap and cheerful but beautiful. Is it? Yeah. I like them all to match. God, you're fast becoming

that Asta woman from Good Morning. Remember that show back in the day? Yeah. No, because my mum used to wrap presents with old wrapping paper and she wouldn't do it properly

so you could see what was in it without unwrapping it. Oh, they were struggling to feed and raise these kids, eh? And look at the thanks I get. And the spoiled little shit was upset she could see

her presents before Christmas while the rest of us just wanted to see their presents before Christmas. Okay. So I do this little thing every year. Well, me and my husband

do this thing where we write our self-letters. Mr. Toyboy. Mr. Toyboy. Who brought this to the partnership? He did. Okay, so did his family do it? No.

I don't know where we got it from. So every Christmas, when you take down the tree, you write yourself a note that you'll read when you get the tree out again. Okay. Sort of like a mild, passive-aggressive critique to yourself. Yeah. It's encouraging and critiquing and it's of the year been. Yep.

This is what's going to make next Christmas better sort of thing. Yeah. So I just leave my little Christmas notes envelope on the top of the tree when I open the tree. Christmas notice. Notes. You know, that says notice. That E definitely needs a bit more breathing space.

E is terrible. It's got past year. The S is a wonder. I thought you were going for a Latin. A Latin to a Christmas. Christmas notice. There's going to be lots of things for you to take the piss out of. Don't start with just the.

Oh, no, I've got plenty of energy for this. I've been training. Don't start wasting it yet. So it says Merry Christmas Annie and Maggie Boos Now is this This year's note Yeah

Okay So it says on the front Read me 2018 Okay Christmas 2018 Number one Don't buy a secret Santa present from Etsy

Because remember I bought Cam from works Oh and it didn't turn up It didn't turn up Till January What's like AliExpress If you haven't ordered Anything from AliExpress

For Christmas It's too late Too late Don't do it Don't cook the turkey too long Go with your gut Not the recipe Because I was in charge

Of the turkey last year And it was dry I get that Like your cakes I know what you're saying But I follow I was like I'm going to follow the recipe

To the letter And I remember thinking It's done I know it's done Yeah I left it in It feels done. I know it's done. Yeah. I left it in. It feels done, looks done. It's the same as steak.

Yeah. So you ruined Christmas dinner. You had to go and get pies out of the Zed pie warmer for everybody. No, everyone was really nice and it was really dry. If you haven't got Leo a brother yet,

get one. Another dog. I want a dash hound. A dash hound. Oh, that little sausage dog. Past Megan's encouraging present Megan to get future Megan a dash-and. A dash-and. There's some stupid little dogs.

No, they're so cute. Don't plan anything around Christmas ever again. Oh, yeah, because I got married last, just after Christmas. That's right. That was stressful. Ruined my holiday, didn't you? Made you come back a week early. Remember that?

So ungrateful. I like how she was like, it's very stressful upon yourself. Don't do that. And immediately you're like, ruined my holiday. Like she didn't even get a holiday because of the stress involved. Wow, I had to come back a week early for a, see one of my good friends have the happiest day of her life. Inconsiderate shit.

Get an automatic fly killer. If they're not yet, they will be. Oh, that's actually a really good call. Do you mean one of those things? Every now and then, yeah. Do you know my mum's against that? It's like, I don't poison us. And she's always like, you go home and she's chasing flies around with like a swatter.

But does she use like spray cleaners and stuff? Yeah. She uses that. I don't know why she doesn't. No, she'll get her one for Christmas. That'll teach her. She'll have to use them. Yeah, take a joyous occasion.

Get someone something that they like. The woman that raised me, I'll teach her. Slowly poison her to death. You 100% are the Grinch. Okay. Get legit mince tarts that are actually from New World, not Countdown. Because remember last year I was like, the mince tarts, they are yummy, but then I realised that the ones I was actually talking about was from New World.

Yeah, good Christmas mince tart can make or break. I've still got mince tarts from last year. Ditch them then. Put them in the bin. What are you doing? Get rid of them. You're like my dad. Oh, no, it's all right.

It's all right. Just leave it up there. It should be all right. Go strawberry picking early so when you go, there's actually strawberries to pick and get a kid's cone. You know how they make those big massive, and every year I'm like, no, I can definitely do a big one. Oh, I could do a big one.

Easy. Every year I write in the note, you should get a kid's one. But you've already eaten all the strawberries. Yeah, okay. Oh, this could do a big one. Easy. Every year I write in the notes. But you've already eaten all the strawberries. Yeah, okay. Oh, this is really cute. At the end I wrote, oh yeah, this year you did lots of things. You got married and you paid for lots of things. So dream big because you can clearly do whatever you want.

Happy anniversary. You were saying you got married and you were still a couple of weeks out. Anything could have happened. Yeah, true. That's true.

Happy anniversary. Watch your wedding video. Because it'll be like, it's almost my first. It's almost. It's almost one year and then it'll be two years and then when it hits three years,

that'll be a record for me. You're not there yet, okay? Cut him loose and start again. when it hits three years, that'll be a record for me. You're not there yet, okay? Cut him loose and start again. This time get a sugar daddy. Yeah, I did it the wrong way. You did it though, you've done it the wrong way round. Yesterday, we had to buy some doors.

Weird still long story. I'm not going to get into why we're buying doors, but the back seat of our car had to go down. So the kids' car seats had to come out. The kids weren't there. This was when they were in school. The back seat had to go right down and shut, and I had to drive home, like, with the seat as far forward as I could go,

but also, like, straight up. It was weird. Do you mean, like, doors to go into a room and your house doors? Yeah. Why? Get a trailer like everyone else does. Oh, what? Like, hire the trailer.

No, because then you have to hire the trailer. You don't have to take it back. Yeah, no, but then you've got to take it back. I was just like... You've got a door in your car. Two doors. Well, it was a wonderful advertisement for the Hyundai Santa Fe. But not really because we had to like drive like...

Like I couldn't drive. Literally my legs couldn't fit in and bend and everything. Well, that sounds safe. Well, she could because she's shorter, but I had to sit like a lady in a side saddle on a horse in the passenger seat to fit in. You did the Duchess Lane, Duchess Slant. I was like, drive me home.

I kept saying it. She got really annoyed with me. I'm like, which way are we going, sir? And anyway, when I was going out to put the kids' car seats back in, our back seat can go back and forward a bit. Oh, yeah. And I was like, what's that back there? Because the seats were still down and I could see this little gap

so I pulled them right forward and it was like this treasure trove of stuff that obviously just falls from the back seat and goes under the rather than falling down forwards, goes back through there. We're in a couch where the coins get. Through the back there.

And I opened it up and the thing I'd spied from the outside was an apple. Now, the apple, I don't know how it got there. You know when you're driving home from the supermarket and a rogue apple or something round will get out of the bag? Yeah. And it'll roll around and then there's silence and then you forget about it. So it was a whole apple. It was a whole apple.

Right. And looking at it, I was like, oh, that's rotten. But it was still like the shape of an apple. So I was like, I picked it up softly. But the minute I touched it, it was like, well, good luck. And just this like slop of apple was in my hand. I was like, it didn't make too much of a mess. Well, of the car, but my hands were.

So I walked to the bin. I was like, yuck. And then what else is in there? I found my driver's license. Maybe I lost my driver's license a little while ago. Oh, we made is in there? I found my driver's license. Remember how I lost my driver's license a little while ago? Oh, we made you take that stupid photo for your driver's license? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I lost that one and then I ordered a new one.

So now I've got two driver's licenses. Can you still use the old one? Have a backup. Same number and everything. Looks identical. But surely they cancelled the old one. No, I don't think so because there's nothing like it. There's a barcode though.

When they go to scan it, it'll be like... It'll be the same barcode, won't it? Nah, it'll come up... Do they scan their barcode? I'm pretty sure they don't have a fancy... I think they just look at it and look at your face and check the number, don't they? I don't know, do they? Oh, well, if the police are listening, let us know.

Oh, yeah, that'd be interesting. Because I don't want you to go back to your old one. Because I said it was lost and it was lost. But now it's found. But now it's found. Okay. I found other things down there. I found like chocolates.

I don't know where that come from. They look like the kids that eat a chocolate, like taking a bite and being like, not for us. It's like when I had a car, my passengers, what do you call that? The well? The footwell. The footwell was just McDonald's bags, rubbish. Everybody's got a friend like that.

They're like, oh, let me move a few things. And they just go and push the stuff off the seat into the footwell. Or do that enough, there's no more footwell. Yeah, chuck it in behind the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. All kinds of crap. Well, your old Honda Prelude, the Silver Fox, the back seat was impractical for use. Yeah, so that was...

You might be able to chuck a gym bag or something back there, but no humans, so yeah, there was always a copious amount of rubbish back there. But, oh, this was the scariest part, so I'd cleaned all that out, and I was like, I'm just going to stick my arm under the chair, and I put my arm under there, and I felt something furry.

A tarantula. No, like big and furry. A guinea pig. A cat. I was like, is it a rat? Because there was enough food that the rat could have survived for a while. And I was like, is it a rat? And I grabbed it and then I just felt a claw go into my hand. And I was like, slowly started pulling it out.

Went on the other side and I was like freaking out. It was just the cat. The door had been opened. The cat had come in for a look around the car and it kind of like moolied into a small spot. But there was a point where I was like I'm going to have to somehow get a rat out of a car. I assume the only way

to get a rat out of a car is to set the car on fire and deal with it. So I was wondering, on the back of that, what's the most exciting find you've had in your car? All disgusting? Yeah! Where you're like, I'm a filthy human. I hope no one ever finds out about this. What did you find in your car when you cleaned it out?

Because a lot of us do. You just chuck stuff in, don't you? Or you forget that something's there. Or it rolls under a seat or... Or imagine if you... This weird space when the seat goes forward that you wouldn't otherwise have access to. Or imagine you're coming home from the supermarket

and like a mince pack rolls under the seat and you forget about it. You'd know about that soon enough though, eh? You'd smell it. You'd have to to. Or imagine you're coming home from the supermarket and like a mince pack rolls under the seat and you forget about it. You'd know about that soon enough though, you'd smell it. You'd have to. You'd smell it. When I was a kid, I put a block of butter in the glove box

and forgot about it and left the car outside. Why? Because we were coming home from the supermarket, mum was like, I just need a block of butter. When we were kids. Yeah.

She was driving, so we ran into the supermarket, got a block of butter, brought it out, chucked it in the glove box and shut it and forgot about it. Everyone forgot about it and it melted through and it stunk that car out for years.

But you didn't get inside and she wasn't like, where's the butter we just drove to get? No, because it wasn't like an immediate need. No, no, we were in town. Oh, right, okay. She was like, oh. Just a weird Smith family trip to town to get a block of butter. No, no, no, we were already there.

Oh, God, no, you don't go to town for one thing. All right, 0800DARLS.M9696, the weirdest or grossest thing you found when you were cleaning your car up. Grossest thing you found in your car when you were cleaning it out. We want to take your calls and texts now. Amy, what happened?

What did you find? I found a bag of dog poo in my glove compartment. Oh! So who put it there? My mum did. So the dog did its business, maybe just by the car, and she's like, well, I'll just quickly wrap that up. I'll get rid of it when we get home.

So what she claimed was that there was no bin around, so she just shoved it in the bag of excess bags and then forgot that there was poo in the excess bags and just shoved it in the glove compartment for the next walk. But you didn't notice for a couple of months, so it can't have been stanky. I had a really old car, so we thought it was leaking and that it was just a bad smell from the weather

because it was during a really bad patch of weather a couple of years ago. We've all had that car that when it rains, it smells damp. It was so gross. And then I was cleaning out my car because i'd finished uni for the year so i was like time to chuck out everything and we found it oh that's gross uh thanks for your call um natalie what did you find cleaning what did you find cleaning out the car okay so it's not actually disgusting well some people might think it is but um we we're cleaning out the car? Okay, so it's not actually disgusting. Well, some people might think it is. But we were cleaning out the car, nice sunny day, had the boot open, vacuuming. And then we took it through the car wash.

But what we didn't realize was the cat had climbed into the car to sleep while we were cleaning it out. Took it through the car wash and we found the cat mid-car wash going absolutely ape. And it went everywhere. And it was scratching everyone and freaking out. We couldn't do anything. We were in the middle of the car wash. It took us five to six minutes. We had to deal with, like, crazy cats going absolutely nuts.

I thought the cat, to be honest, is better than I thought the cat was on the outside. I know. And then we found the cat. Uh-oh. Thanks, you called Natalie. Olivia, what did you find in your car? Hey, guys, how's it going? Good, good.

Good. So this woman actually met with a friend of mine. Yeah. So what happened was her and her boyfriend went for a dive in Wellington and they were getting crayfish and para and things and they got some scallops. And they put the catch bag in their boot and in that time, a little octopus crawled out of a scallop shell and actually got itself underneath the cover of the tyre

and ended up obviously dying under there. And my friend literally was like, God, there's something that stinks in the car and couldn't find anything anywhere. And so then literally turned the car upside down and lifted up that cover that goes over the spare tire and found this little octopus. Why do things from the sea stink so much? I know. I mean, animals

on a whole thing, but there's something about things that have been in the sea that really stink when they die. I know. Pity it. Absolutely disgusting. Would you even get that smell out after you cleaned it? Well, she thinks that she has, but it still smells a little bit. Even if you got one of those clip-on things

that overpower your light still. That just mingles. That just mingles. Thanks you, Cool Olivia. Matt, what did you find cleaning out your car? Hey, top three, because I've been to a lot of cars and I used to work for a car yard, so we used to do trade-ins. What are you, a radio announcer doing a top three list?

Tell me things I've found in the car. I love it. Welcome to ZM for the top three things I've found. Oh, right. He needs a job. Okay, what's in at number three, Matt? We start at three and end with the big one at one, by the way. Three cell phones.

Three cell phones. In one car. Yep. So I found three cell phones in one car. So this is a stranger's car that has brought it in for like a trade-in. No, this is actually my sister's car. So she didn't

get them back either. So number two was I found a $100 bill on a trade-in which was quite nice. So that was all good. And the weirdest one was I found a summer eye sword on a car that I repossessed and it had blood on it. So I actually dropped that puppy off

at the police station. Wow, that sounds like a former, like a gang enforcer or meth dealer's car, doesn't it? Yeah, well, you know. I'm trying to think

of legit ways that would end up with blood on it, but... Not many legit ways really, is there? What's true? Thanks for your listening. Was that only his two, though?

No, it's three. No, it's three. Cell phone money and summer resort. Oh, I thought summer resort and money was together. That's why I was like, drug deal gone bad. Matt, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. Somebody said that their sister had a part full protein shaker roll under the seat in summer.

The protein, I left one over the weekend because I went away to Melbourne. It went green. So the protein started as white, like vanilla, but it came back, it was like green sludge. You can't leave that a couple of days. What is that? They said it was due to the heat and maybe the... It's milk. Like milk protein. Pressure of the

gases, but the lid popped off at some stage as well and it went through the carpet under the seat. Three professional clans still didn't get the stink out. Yeah. From protein shaker to dog roll. It was a classic situation of driving home from the supermarket, and it rolled out, and it fell down behind something. Yeah.

We went on a family holiday and left our car park in the middle of summer at the Longstay car park uncovered. Oh. When we got back, we opened the door and immediately you could see a haze of stink. The dog roll was fuzzy and swollen and like a massive

postulating cyst. And ever since, we have not been able to buy the dog a dog roll. We only feed it dry biscuits because everybody's been ruined by it. By the festering, swollen dog roll. Yeah. Disgusting.

All right. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that if everybody lived, everybody in the world lived as densely as they do in Mumbai, India, the entire world's population would fit into Romania with room to spare. What? And Romania is smaller than New Zealand. New Zealand's 268,000 square kilometres and Romania's 228,000 square kilometres.

So the whole world would fit into New Zealand? Easy. Easy. Easy. Madness. Easy. Easy. Madness. Easy. That would be horrible. If we lived as densely as Mumbai.

As Mumbai. And there are cities that live even more densely than Mumbai. Now, Mumbai is a special case because there's so many people that live in Mumbai. Yeah. There's cities that have less people but are smaller than Mumbai. So Manila in the Philippines is the most densely populated city in the world. 1.6 million people live in 16, sorry, where's kilometres? In 38 square kilometres. That's so many people. 1.6, that's the size of Auckland and the population size of Auckland and the area size of significantly, significantly smaller.

I still can't get over having 7 billion people in New Zealand. In one place, yeah. And we could all fit here. But you know, if you, like, for example, everybody was dead. Okay. That's grim. Or, okay, I won't say we're dead, but let's say every human went to the Grand Canyon.

Okay. We could all jump into the Grand Canyon and lie on top of each other. I'd go last. That would be good thinking. I don't want to be squashed by everyone else. We would all easily fit in the Grand Canyon in one pile and not even get high enough to hit the surface. And we'd look like hundreds and thousands.

We'd just look like a pile of roadrunner food. Yeah. When the coyote's trying to catch them. That's crazy, eh? That's, uh... Wow. We don't even register on... No city in New Zealand registers on the most densely populated.

No. The Philippines actually has nine entries in the top 50. So the Philippines... That sounds horrible. But it's only the 12th most populous country. So, yeah, Because it's small Everybody gets crammed in there That's crazy

But yeah easy We would easily If everybody lived as densely As they do in Mumbai Easily fit in New Zealand And we'd have quite a bit Of room to spare I mean

We'd have some brown rivers The parks would be full Yeah and like Traffic would be real bad Yeah traffic would be I think it's bad now It'd be even worse Well the elevator traffic

Would be terrible too Yeah Oh this elevator full I'll wait for the next one Oh is this one elevator traffic would be terrible too. Yeah. Oh, this elevator full. I'll wait for the next one. Oh, is this one full too? I'll wait for the next one. Oh, is this one full too? Should I take the stairs?

Open the door. Stairs also full. Maybe, oh, I was going to say, maybe we'd be fitter because we wouldn't drive or get elevators. Because you'd just walk. Stairs would be full too. Maybe a slide down the outside of the building

would be the answer. But today's fact of the day is that if everybody in the world lived as densely as they do in Mumbai, India, the world's population would easily fit into Romania. Fact of the day, day, someone just messaged in. I was distracted. Someone said if the entire world's population,

this is from fact of the day before, stood up straight, you'd be able to fit them on Stewart Island. What? If everybody stood shoulder to shoulder, you'd be able to fit them on Stewart Island. No. The world's population. No, that's rubbish.

Imagine waking up and every single person on the world was standing shoulder to shoulder on Stewart Island. You can't fit 7 billion people shoulder to shoulder on Stewart Island. That's stupid. That's rubbish. Someone's being silly. They are. And I'm a teacher.

Someone's being very silly. Good morning, Miss Merritt. Good morning. Good morning. Why aren't you a Mrs.? That's so rude. She cares more about us than she does about her love life. Stop asking.

Yeah, Carl. Attention. She gives everything. She's an independent woman who... I don't need no man. I just want one. Okay. Today, Wednesday the 14th of November,

the subjects are level 1 Music this afternoon Level 2 Mathematics and Statistics Mathematics That's where you go to Catholic Mass and have to count the people Mathematics and Accounting this afternoon Level 3 History this afternoon

and Scholarship, Classical Studies and French History, what a day. Because they just make you remember stupid dates. I always quite liked history. Good stories. I know, but like, why do you have to remember the date that something started and then they signed something on the...

Well... Someone gave it their all, didn't they? Well, Megan, the first question today. Oh, God. Level three, history. What treaty marked the end of World War I? Antborne. Treaty of Versailles.

Correct. Where is Versailles? France. Correct. What year? 1918. Why was it signed in Versailles? Because that's where they met up.

It's the only place that had pens. Well done, Bon. How do you spell Versailles? V-E-R-S-A-I-L-L-E-S. Correct. I know, we had to Google it because it looks like vermicelli. It doesn't look like vermicelli. There's no M in there.

It's not the Treaty of Vermicelli. But if you want to remember it that way, just remember. Is vermicelli a pasta? No, it's the little rice noodles. But isn't it Vermicelli? I love those, by the way. It's definitely Vermicelli. Those are the huge noodles, guys.

It might be Vermicelli. Anyway, moving on. Level two, math and statistics. Are you ready? Yeah. Jonathan invested $800 at a rate of 5% per compound interest. Per year compound interest. I don't know what compound interest is, Matt.

Calculate the total amount he has after two years. Oh, no, because now your compound interest is where every year then the interest gets accrued. What was the rate? What was the interest rate? $800. At 5%. Oh, okay. No, I don't know.

I'm out. Oh, Megan's Googling. No, I don't know. I'm out. Oh, Megan's Googling. No, I'm Googling Vermicelli. She's out. I need to check out. May I use a calculator for this? No. Are you allowed to use a calculator in the exams?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you are. It's not that hard. I'll work it out really quickly. 800, 1.05 equals 84. Are you on the phone? Are you texting? Times 1.05. No, okay.

$504. No, it's not. It's $882. It's compound born. It compounds into it. Yeah, but how much did he sell us? $800. $82.

Oh. Okay. I got $104 extra, so I was wrong anyway. The question was boringness. $400. Okay, well, you're bored? Let me just get the props for question number three.

One moment. We're going to improv. Oh, God. Question number three is level one music. You each have 20 seconds to perform a solo piece with this recorder. That recorder's not even... Oh, no! Caitlin, that's the worst sound in human history.

Can't she just put it in her mouth? Oh, don't worry, I have. This is why... Hang on, let me get my other prop. Oh, we'll just wait for you. Go with it. It's a cup of Listerine. So when the person's finished, you dip it in there. But then we're going to have Listerine.

What was... You know, the recorder's not on my day because, you know, like tuberculosis and stuff wasn't a problem. Meningitis. Meningitis. Tuberculosis is when you cough blood, right? But what did the teachers dip this stuff in? Nothing. They did recently.

I saw one. They put it in like a disinfectant. Okay. Careful too because she just dipped that haphazardly. No, I did it. You're dripping Listerine on your mouthwash. Yeah, I was going to say, you're dripping Listerine. 20 seconds.

Go. Yay! That was very good. Wow. That was good. Okay, here you go, Fletch. Also, I think that sounded true. I think Fletch should go last, because Listerine can't stop everything.

Oh, yeah, true. Excuse me. We're both in committed relationships. You're excusing me. Yeah, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. No, I'm not. What the hell?

Unacceptable. I don't know what your mouth's been in on or around in fact that's level 3 biology I think Bourne wins today just identifying by this petri dish is infections what has this person's mouth touched

I will sue you for defamation um alright I will sue you for defamation. Um, alright, what about... Oh my god, that's horrible. No. No, absolutely not. I was trying to twinkle, twinkle. Give me, give it.

I need to sterilise it first. Fletch, Petri dish, dish, Fletch. His middle name is Peter. Carl Petri dish, Fletch. His middle name is Peter. Carl Petery Dish Fletcher. Don't flick Lister that silly. Don't shake the Listeran on the other students or you'll be in big trouble. Why'd you clear your throat?

To be honest, yours was my favourite because it was like the quietest. I was trying to do one of those. We waited for you. Yeah, no. What's wrong with you? I'm a train. I actually like.

I actually really liked that. Thank you. Okay, it's a draw today between Megan and Vaughn. Oh, you stuck. Did I not win? No, you didn't win anything. I smashed history. No, but I smashed the recorder.

Boom, bonus question. Bam. Double point. Don't argue with the teacher. Triple word score. I've got the marks. Good luck for those doing NCEA today.