ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 14 2019

Episode Date: November 13, 2019

God Bless Hon Andrew "Daddy Thicc Snacc" Little, Producer Anya is pulling out at the last minute and when did you not think anyone was watching?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner Megan. Good morning. We need to talk about Anya's let slip. She had a sexy dream last night. Oh my God. We are scheduling in that to talk about before seven o'clock. I don't think we need to tell the nation about this.

I had a dream. What? I don't know where Megan was. Okay. But you and I were on a tourism bus. And we started going down a very sketchy cliffside road. Even I said we shouldn't be going down here. So you can imagine how you were reacting. Yeah, I was like, this is not

safe, guys. So we stood by the doors and then when the bus slipped off the cliff, we just stepped out of the doors onto the road. Oh my god. And we watched a bus plummet down a cliff. Yeah. And you looked at me and you were like, we told them. Oh my god.

That's so accurate. That is something we would do, eh? So accurate. You know yourself so well. For a moment, I was shocked. I was like, oh, my God. And then Fletcher's like, well, we did tell them. I was like, we tried.

We're so sensible. We can't help it. It was nuts. Yeah. And then I woke up. I was like, God, thank God that didn't happen. I would have had to have dealt with it. And people were perishing and stuff. I would have had to have dealt with it. And people were perishing and stuff.

I would have been personally put out a little. Well, Anya's dream, nothing as bad as that. No sort of like 50, 60 dead tourists? No wildly tame in comparison. Coming up on the show, the top six, Taylor Swift apparently, has got a Christmas album coming. So the top six are Taylor Swift Christmas songs. a Christmas album coming. So the top six are Taylor Swift

Christmas songs. Alright you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vodamag and I only get to pick one headline. Headline one, first time excuse for police. Headline two, tabby switch out gets

man banned. And headline three, fake lawyer facing prison. You've got to choose one. Two is the fake. No, Tabby Switchout gets man banned. Fake lawyer facing prison is three. Or first time excuse for police, headline one. Two, Tabby Switchout. You want a Tabby Switchout? Tabby Cat Rose, headline one. To Tabby's

Switch Out. You want to Tabby's Switch Out? No. You want to go Tabby? Yeah. Hit me with that Tabby's Switch Out story. We're just lighting? He's just finding the Tabby. I've got to open my Tabby.

We go now to Russia where the airline Aeroflot has banned a cat and its owners' airpoints. Whatever they call their air miles, airpoints. Yeah. Did you say airy flop? Aeroflot. Oh. Aeroflot.

I'm not flying on anything that's called airy flop. Welcome to airy Flop. It'll flop out of the airy. Flight 47, Airy Flop is now boarding. No, thank you. Well, anyway, a guy wanted to take his cat on a flight. Now, this guy's name is Mikhail. He's 34.

He was all set to fly with his beloved tabby cat, Victor, when cat-astrophe struck. Cat-astrophe. Now, Aeroflot, when he went to check in, they said, look, you can't take your cat on because he's too fat. He tipped the scales at 22 pounds, five pounds over the limit for cats. And I don't know why he wasn't there wasn't an option to That's a 10kg kitty cat. Is that bad?

Yeah, that's quite fat. In the scheme of things, that's one less carry-on bag, isn't it? Like, it's a weird rule. Anyway, he really wanted his cat to fly. He obviously needed his cat to be on this flight with him. So he wrecked him in Gladbrook and made him go for a run around the block.

No. He booked a flight a couple of days later. He got on social media and asked the local area around the airport if anybody had a similar tabby cat. And so he took, borrowed a cat, took it to the airport, checked it in, and then did the old tabby switcheroo. Oh, between the check and acknowledgement and the area where you deposit the cat.

That's right. Now, he was booking a business class flight on Aeroflot. You can see him here, Megan. Yes. Now, he was taking his cat on board, so I'm guessing that's why there was a limit. Right. He wanted to take his cat on board. Cats hate travelling. Cats hate cars. I've seen

a few, I've seen a cat on a plane before. In America, people take everything on board. They're crazy. That woman had a horse, didn't she? A miniature pony earlier this year. Well, Aeroflot found out about this after he bragged about switching out his fat tabby cat online.

And they have banned the cat from Aeroflot. This is Russia's largest airline. And they've also taken away all of the owner's air points. 400,000 miles on his account. Oh, hoosh. So it's a lot. I'm guessing because he's flying business, he looks a bit bougie. Yeah, he does.

And yeah, so they've obviously gone into it. They said they looked at security camera footage from the check-in and they saw the switch happen. So they've got proof and they've banned him. He's stupid. You got away with it. Shut up. Yeah. Don't brag about it.

I'll see it. Look at the cat in business class with champagne. It doesn't look that fat. You can only see its face at that point. Well, no, there's this one here. You can see it. It's a bit chunky, but it's not fat fat. It's just a big cat.

Oh, yeah. Okay, there's a paunch. The guts are sitting on its back legs there. Not as fat as when I looked after your cat and it couldn't get through the cat door. No, no. Not as fat as that. He probably got close to that.

Close to that weight, actually. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Gender reveals are getting crazier and crazier. In fact, a bit of a bad rap recently because there was one in a plane where someone died. What were they trying to do? Were they trying to blow smoke out of the plane or were they trying to tow a banner and it crashed?

It was smoke related, wasn't it? Like blue or pink smoke? I hadn't heard the pink one, but like fires have been started. There was an explosion. Oh, there was a huge like forest scrub fire in America because of a gender reveal. That woman died in that explosion. Yeah. They often go wrong.

Well, people are getting carried away, aren't they? They're trying to outdo each other. Yeah. But there's been a new gender reveal that has gone viral. It's highbrow, this one. It's very highbrow. Yeah, very highbrow. Do we...

Oh! So, what you're hearing there is, yes, it's a fart. Is it... Paige Gin is her yes, it's a fart. Is it a fart? Paige Gin is her name, or Gin. Two Ns on the Gin there. G-I-N-N. Right.

I followed her for a while. Her big thing I saw her a while ago falling through something. Her big, I was fascinated. She falls over in public. Always posts her gashes and injuries that she obtains like serious falls no thanks what

for a gag like just fake it up yeah is she a writer on Rick and Morty no is that someone else that was the other chick

we were watching on twitter things before oh my god brilliant okay she's very funny no but this page

she's yeah does a range of things online, and her latest is for her friend, apparently, it looks like. Yep. She packs... Powder? Coloured powder into her baton and lines up a fart and blows blue smoke in the air. Now, we're not the only people fascinated by this. Just looking at the comments on her, on the video, on her Instagram,

people are reporting in where in the world they've heard this being talked about. Right. Or shown on television or talked about on the radio or shared on different social pages. Could that even be put on television because isn't she nude? You can only see the curve of... Hold on, I'll get it back to the... She's only got no pants on.

Yeah, look. She's lying down. There's sort of like the butt. Oh, yeah, okay, right. The top of the butt's visible. Yeah, wow. And then a little coloured fart. A little cloud of powder.

At least no one died, though. Yeah, that's true. No harm, no foul. Well, unless whatever she packed up her butt with blue powder is going to kill her later. Unless it's talcum powder. That's getting a bad rap at the moment, isn't it? Yeah. I'm starting to think how Nans just used to drench us in that stuff after a bath.

More talc. More talc. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Taylor Swift's doing a Christmas album. Apparently. So we're expecting a mix here

of traditional Christmas numbers and some new Christmas originals. Because they'll always cover the classics, won't they? They'll always do a couple of classics. And then chuck in some new ones that they hope will be the next Mariah Carey All I Want for Christmas. Yeah for Christmas, yeah. Make them money forever.

So I've got the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs. Okay. Today, to tell you, ahead of the album launch, a little spoiler. Number six on the list of the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs. From her song, You Need to Calm Down. Yeah. It is a Christmas version. You Need to Come Down the Chimney. Which is where Sandra, of course, enters one to Calm Down. Yeah. It is a Christmas version. You need to come down the chimney,

which is where Sandra, of course, enters one's abode to deposit gifts if you've been a good boy or girl. Number five on the list of the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs, Bad Blood. Okay. The family edition, because there's always somebody you're not really looking for. But come on, that makes Christmas fun.

When, you know, everyone hates Uncle Stevie. Yeah. And the B-side to Bad Blood Family Edition is blank face, which is like blank space, but it's the blank face that you put on when you're dealing with Nan's racism. Yeah. How does that go? Megan knows.

You always got to pick your battles. Is today the day I fight? Nah It's Christmas Too many wines It's Christmas Mother tell me off Shall I put a

Yeah That's true Number four on the list Of the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs Is from You remember the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack

I Don't Wanna Live Forever Yeah This is I Don't Wanna Give A Present This is about A selfish want to give a present. This is about a selfish Christmas goer. But by the end of the song, I just want to give a present.

Oh, okay. So they learn the Christmas spirit. Yes, Megan, they do. Yeah, they do. Lovely. It starts a very selfish end, very giving. Are we getting ourselves each other Christmas gifts this year? The general rule of thumb is no. Good.

Let's go along with that then. Cool. It's easy. I think our love for each other every day is enough, you know? Yeah. It's a gift every day of the year. Oh, your face when you said that.

Number three on the list of the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs. I knew you were Santa when you slid in. Brilliant. She's not really... Caused a take on the I Knew You Trouble Walk.

She's not making a lot of effort, is she, with this Christmas album? Why would you? Why would you bother? Just recycle what you've already got. Yeah, okay. Number two. Well, she needs to re-record the originals.

Remember that guy bought all the originals? Scooter Braun. She doesn't want to give Scooter Braun any royalties. No, she needs to do it all again. Number two on the list of the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs. Shake It Off, the Christmas present edition. You give it a good shake just to see what the gift is. Yeah.

Except if mum's got you something nice and valuable. And it breaks. You've broken it. Right, gentle then. Start with a gentle shake. And number one on the top six Taylor Swift Christmas songs. This is to be played after Christmas dinner. Okay.

When you've overeaten. We are never getting back in those jeans. That's where you've made the decision that it'll be track pants or shorts or just undies from here on out. Yeah, track shorts. I'd recommend track shorts. Track shorts are a great Christmas investment. Yeah, some grey trackies.

Yeah. Hashtag grey sweatpaint challenge. Oh, no. Post-Christmas is no time to be showing off your bulge. And who's there that you want to impress? Auntie? No. Yeah, exactly.

You don't want your auntie being like, you're filling out them pants, boy. That would not be nice at all. That is today's Top 6. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We were talking about just six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We were talking about

just before the show that Chris Hemsworth at his Westfield style mega mansion in Byron Bay. Are they getting the fires? That's what I was

going to say because I I saw a couple of news headlines that some people around Byron Bay were evacuating. God, how

you spend like two years having a mega Westfields house. We say Westfields Byron Bay because it looks like a giant Westfields with a swimming pool. But yeah, news that he, we were talking that he has got a half pipe.

A half pipe's being built out the back. What hasn't that house got? It's got an infinity pool on the roof. Yeah, a gym. I saw on his Instagram he was posting some guy doing a mural or like a mosaic out the front. That's right. And that looked amazing.

Yeah. Like it'd be an incredible house. I mean, he's worth bajillions of dollars. Billions of dollars. Yeah, why not? Treat yourself. But he's putting in a half pipe and that's when intern Anya pipes up with an announcement that she had a sexy dream. Was it about Chris or Liam?

It was Liam. Liam, so not... Right. Chris' younger brother Liam recently single. Liam's my favourite Hemsworth. Megan? I mean, I just take either. You'd even go for Barry Hemsworth. Yeah. And the dad. It depends on what movie

I'm watching. Like, if I'm sitting there watching Thor, I'm not going to tune down Chris Hemsworth. But, I mean, Liam's hot. Wow. What happened in your dream, Anya? So we matched on Bumble to start. Of course. Liam Hemsworth's on Bumble.

Yeah, I was like, that's so weird, but all right. You've also got a long-term boyfriend. Is there some kind of significance in this? Are you wanting out? No, I was talking to my friend about Bumble the other day and then I was like having a go on her Bumble and I was like, weehee, this is fun because Bumble only became big after I started going out with Andy. Okay. So

I think that was the connection to Bumble and I was bumbling away. You've got a weird taste in guys. You're like one of the chasers. Like, should she have been letting you loose on her Bumble? It was such a hoot. We were a bottle of wine deep. It was great.

Yeah. Oh, my God. You sound like mum. She is Nana Millennial. We were. She came over and we were in the spa. We had a bottle of wine and then we were on the bumble and then we kissed on the mouth.

It was great. Crikey. So, yeah, so I matched with Liam. Obviously, he liked me back. Look at me. And we met up a time to have a couple of drinks. Those drinks turned into dinner. It was an Italian restaurant.

It was lovely. I had the pasta. Where was this a time? Where were you going on this date with Liam Hemsworth? He was on Ponsonby Road. Of course he was. Just a fleeting visit to the country, but he made time for his old pal, Anna. Is there an actual pasta restaurant

on that you should be plugging now because you've got a dream dinner there? I haven't actually been there, but I was researching the other night, Gusto Italiano, so that's where we're at. So all of your experiences have melded into one. You were on Bumble with your mate in the spa pool, you looked up an Italian restaurant, so it's all coming together.

And we use Zomato Gold, so we got a free meal because Liam can't afford it. You even do that in your dream? Oh, my God. Yeah, it was great. So we're heading it off, you know. Get a tiramisu as well because it's going so well. There's so much detail in this dream.

If you're going Italian, though, you've got to have a tiramisu. Maybe I was hungry when I went to bed. Did you share the tiramisu? No, no. Did he spoon it into your mouth across the table?

No, that's silliness. We had individual spoons, individual misus. Okay. And then, things got a little steamy. For some reason,

I still live in my apartment and he wasn't there. I don't know if he was out or if he lived there. after the Italian and the tiramisu's you went back to your apartment. Yeah we split the Uber. That's probably about

six dollars. Fair enough he's a Hollywood actor. Yeah. Went back to the apartment Andy wasn't there. I don't know if there were like photos of us around still or they were gone. But things started getting a little hot and heavy with Liam. What happened? He wanted a slice of this tiramisu.

Did he? But then I, I don't know, it got to a point where I was like, Liam, I'm not sure if I'm actually feeling this. It's Liam Hemsworth. Yeah, but, you know. You turned down Liam Hemsworth in your dream. How did you turn

him down in your dream? What happened? I literally, we were mid-canoodling. Yeah. Coitus. Mad coitus. Like kissing or something else. My goodness. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Okay. Wow. Something must have gone terribly wrong. Yeah. And I just suddenly was like, actually, Liam, I don't know if I can do this. And in my dream, rated myself so highly that I was like, I think I can do better.

So. Wow. And then that's it I can do better. Wow. And then that's it, you woke up? Yep. And then, okay, you turned down Liam Hemsworth. I checked my phone, I was like, don't have Bumble, Andy's still next to me. Phew.

But were you like, oh my God, Liam Hemsworth, go back to sleep, go back to sleep? No. Or she turned him down? Nah, he wasn't for me. Liam Hemsworth woke up somewhere else in the world and he's like, oh my God, why didn't you turn me down? Go back to sleep.

Win with ZM and Suntory Boss Coffee. Good morning, Jessie. How are you? Good morning, Gerd. How are you guys? Good, good. Well, we've got your chance right now to unlock prizes from the Suntory Boss Coffee vending machine.

Now, we gave out a clue before, which will turn into a four-digit pin. We need that from you now. It is 2653. 2653. Jess, you have won a $100 Kmart voucher and a Boss Coffee prize pack. Yes. Awesome. Thank you. Congratulations. You've flash Flash Brew Suntory Boss Coffee,

the number one coffee in a can in Japan. We'll give you a chance with Bree and Clint to win this afternoon. Pour one of those over a bit of ice cream. You've got yourself an affogato. Ooh. Ooh, yeah, not bad. You totally could. Yeah.

Speaking of ice cream. Ooh. Seamless segue, Vaughan Smith. What happened? That's what makes you the experienced broadcaster that you are. What just happened? Ice cream awards were last night. I ruined my professional broadcast by not finishing my talking before the music started.

Do you want to start again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What? Don't stop the song. I'll point to you when I want you to go. Okay.

Oh, okay, right. Well, now I've got to cue the song up again, but I'm a DJ. I can do that. Go. Pour one of those over an ice cream and you've got yourself an affogato. Yeah, delicious. Hey, kids, speaking of ice cream, last night the New Zealand Ice Cream Awards happened. I'll tell you soon what ice cream is New Zealand's favourite.

And guess what? It's probably not what you expect. ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. New Zealand Ice Cream Awards were on last night. It's not run by one specific ice cream manufacturer. It's the industry, isn't it? Yeah, it's the industry.

Well, you couldn't have, like, one of the big ice cream companies running it. Otherwise, it'd be a bit one-sided. Yeah, I know. I know. This is, Jesus. What? So they've got some New Zealand fun ice cream facts and trends in this press release.

Do we want to know? They're like, ha, ha, ha. I'm just doing some calculations like, these are actually bad. Well, we are the third fattest nation and, you know, summer's coming and we do love an ice cream. For every $44 spent on food by New Zealand households,

a dollar of it is ice cream or similar products. I did work there. That's 2.2%. Wow. Of our food bill is on ice cream, guys. But that's because you get to the end of the aisle and you just get your trolley and then you go down the ice cream aisle and you're like, well, all right, I better grab a tub.

You're like, I did so well the whole way through the supermarket. Deserve a treat. So we are the second highest per capita consumers of ice cream in the world, having recently overtaken the United States. Now, they were the second fattest per capita when we were third, so does that also correlate with us leapfrogging over them? Although there'll be no leapfrog with our obesity rates. You'll be squashing people with you.

Do they count? What about in Europe? Do they count gelato or ice cream? Actually, do you know what I noticed in Europe is a lot of the places you could only get one scoop. Like, they don't do that thing where we do here where you can get two or three scoops. You'd literally get one

scoop in a cone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, wow, we are so fat. They're like, can I have two scoops? They're like, what do you mean? Like why would you want two scoops? Like one's plenty. And it is, but it's weird. It's confronting. Where we live in Kumu,

strawberry places all do like the fresh ice cream. Oh, I love those. By the way, stop coming. You're making traffic a nightmare. Everybody. All right. Someday on the weekends. Yeah, I'm sorry, King of Kewmew.

Yeah, who appointed you the queen? Strawberry fields. You'd be the queen of Kewmew. Thank you. You're welcome. The death rolls. But that raspberry, the raspberry real fresh fruit ice creams are the best.

Yeah. Oh, no. Boys Marie. Okay. You want a tart Yeah. Oh, no. Boysenberry. Okay. You want a tart berry. I really disagree. That's for sure. But I've got to the point now where I don't even order an ice cream.

Because New Zealanders make their ice cream so big, my kids, wimps, can't finish it. So I just end up finishing theirs. Do you know what the trick is at those places? You always get the kids one. Because the kids one is huge. Nah, but so I tried that once and they're like, you're not a kid. And I'm like, well, you've got me there. Guess I'll have a normal cone.

You've got me. You've got, okay, you've got me. My plan's been foiled. Also, New Zealand, we export 11,000 tonnes of ice cream each year. Wow, okay. And based on sales from 2017, our top three favourite ice cream flavours are three, hokey pokey, two, chocolate, one, vanilla. What is wrong with...

I know we've talked about this before and people say vanilla is up there because it can be put with dessert. Yeah. So you have a chocolate brownie, chocolate sauce, anything. But still, Hokey Pokey... Hokey Pokey is so good. I think you've forgotten. Okay, so the awards were last night.

Did my favourite Goody Goody Gumdrops win? Is that in there? Heaps of awards got handed out, but I can't see any. No, I can't see any for Goody Goody Gumdrops. Right. Sorry about that. Is that right? That's terrible.

That explains you. That sums you up in an ice cream. What do you mean it explains me? It's a delicious bubblegum flavoured ice cream with lollies in it. Jubes. Yum. It's an acquired taste that can't go with anything. It doesn't share the palette. I only just learned that it's bubblegum flavoured.

Yeah, it's bubblegum flavoured. Yeah, green. Blue. The ice cream's green. So what won last night? The ice cream's green. It's green. It's green.

It's like a pastely. No, man. No, it's a green. It's green. There's green. It's like a pastel-y. No, man. No, it's a green. It's green. There shan't be any disagreement. Yeah. Okay. This is not that is the dress blue or green.

It's green. He eats it. He eats it all the time. It's my daughter's favourite ice cream. I've seen one in the last week. It's definitely green. August or Indies. Do you know what?

I'm going to let you have it because I don't care. August and I are just great. Okay. It's great. So the Boutique Manufacturer Supreme Award winner. This is like how much you produce. Okay. Zany Zeus Limited, one with their Ghana chocolate. So that's a dark chocolate.

Yeah, right. That's that chocolate you have when you're like, I'm being healthy. I'm having the one with the most cacao in it. And it's okay to eat a whole block. Yeah. You're just kidding yourself, though. This is a lower hut company.

Okay. I'm just learning more about them. They do cheese as well. So actually, that sounds like a lactose intolerant nightmare. And the large manufacturer, the overall supreme winner, was the Tip Top Boysenberry Ripple. Has that won a couple of times now? Yeah, that is good. But it's not goody-goody gumdrops good. Manufacturer of the overall supreme winner was the tip-top boysenberry ripple. Has that won a couple of times now?

Yeah, that's it. That is good, but it's not goody-goody gumdrops good. I mean, there's good in the name. Enough said. What more do you want? What more do you need? Do you want to know, I think, probably the grossest sounding one that won for the open creative? Yeah.

Little Larto, which I think must be short for gelato, they won open creative category for their Massaman curry flavoured ice cream. No. Is a Massaman curry a potato? Yeah. Is it a heavy potato curry? It's got to have a sweet in it somewhere. It'd be like rolling up cold sack.

I mean, I'm sure it's not. It's won an ice cream award. I'm sure it's delicious. Is it beef mushroom or chicken? But it just won The creative The open creative Alright

See now I've got to try that Because Yeah That's That's It's won It can't be rubbish And it's the one

That we're not Sort of familiar with Yeah Okay this is And I'm just learning more about This is in Auckland It's in Morningside Okay Flesh, Vaughan and I'm just learning more about this, is in Auckland. It's in Morningside. Okay.

Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. A pilot has got a massive payout. Now, he was initially suspended and I actually think he spent a couple of days in jail. He was arrested for getting naked in his hotel room. So the reports were that he, or that people, witnesses saw him get naked, go stand at the window and touch himself

and wave at people. Wow, okay. So it has since been found that that was false and he got a $438,000 payout. That's American dollars too. So what did he say? He was just in his hotel room. So he said I was getting ready for a shower and I was

talking on the phone. It was a beautiful morning. I opened the curtains to my window. I couldn't see the terminal. So it must be one of those hotels. Airport hotels. I'm not disputing the fact that I was nude in front of a hotel window, but some people said I was dancing, gyrating and waving. That's not the case at all.

So you haven't arrested? Yeah. Wow, okay. Yeah. I've totally, like, stood naked in front of a hotel window. I walk around my apartment all the time in the nude. And I'm just like... And I never even think about it.

Especially if you're overseas, I'm like, well well if someone can see me, I don't really care, like look away. I actually so I had a friend that worked in an office block in Auckland and they were right next to a hotel a big hotel and they would quite often get emails around the office quick, come to

Gary's desk because someone's naked in the hotel. They don't know because they're kind of oblivious to it. I think you are when you check into a hotel They don't know. They don't know we can all see them. They're kind of oblivious to it. I think you are when you check into a hotel. You don't care. You're not from that city. Yeah.

You just walk around. You get changed. When we go away with work, if we stay in a hotel up a bit, in Christchurch, there's not too many. No. So you feel quite nice standing naked at your window, sort of the king of the domain. Yeah. But in Wellington, you open up. No, yeah. So you feel quite nice standing naked at your window, sort of the king of the domain. Yeah.

But in Wellington, you open up. Oh, yeah. And there's someone right there on a computer. Cheryl's at her computer doing her desk job. And you're like, sorry you had to say that, Cheryl. No one's proud of what's just happened. Do you think she could have seen it, though, from across there? Oh, probably.

It's just a thought. She probably filled in the blanks. She might have been quite happy. I mean, it could have. Yeah. From across there? Oh, probably. It's just a thought. Right, yeah, right. Filled in the blanks. She might have been quite happy. I mean, it could have been the highlight of her day. Yeah. She might have just had a toner issue at the printer and came back to some light relief.

But he was in the situation that all of us are in. He just didn't think that anyone could see him, even though he could see people. Because sometimes you're like, these windows are probably tinted. I'm all right. Yeah. Yeah.

You're not. Well, I mean, living in an apartment building where you can look out and see other apartment buildings, you just become oblivious to it. Like, I don't look. Yeah. But when people come around to my apartment, they're like, oh my God,

you can look into everyone else's apartment. And I'm just like, oh yeah, I don't. You're used to it. You're just oblivious to it. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, yeah, I don't. You're just oblivious to it. Yeah. Well, I would love to know this morning if there's any stories from people when you didn't think anyone could see you. What were you doing? I don't reckon we need stories where you had,

I mean, you didn't have to be naked. Like, you know when people check themselves out in a mirrored window and they don't know that it's like an office window and everyone's just looking and laughing. Yeah. Because that kind of happens at our studios, eh?

Because they're kind of, they're a little reflective. They're not totally reflective. And a little bit tinted. A little tinted. So it's hard to see in, but we can see out very easily.

And people will be doing their hair, squeezing pimples. Yeah. We can see. Just looking at themselves. Yeah. So, okay,

well let's take some calls. 0800 DARS at M9696. So, okay, well, let's take some calls. 0800 DALS at M9696. When did you not think someone could see you? What were you doing that was embarrassing? Bonus points if you were naked as well. I mean, there's always bonus points if you're naked. That's how bonus points work. Exactly.

We're talking about a pilot that was arrested after he accidentally and decently exposed himself at an airport hotel. Apparently people in the terminal could see him and he was just on the phone. He didn't know people could see him. He's got a massive payout now though. Okay.

So, he's alright. Yeah, like nearly half a million dollars. Easily half a million New Zealand dollars, yeah. So we want to know when you've been seen. Yeah, and you didn't think anybody could see you. And you don't have to have been naked. It could have just been reflective mirrors and you're just having a good look at yourself.

Somebody said yesterday, this is a response from Instagram stories. Okay. Somebody said yesterday on the pickup from school when they arrived before the kids came out, they could see some adults getting it on

behind a frosted bathroom window. Oh. And you think you're safe behind a frosted bathroom window. Not with lights. Not with lights behind you. You've got to think about that. You've got to think about it.

Or if you're up against the frosted window, you can still make out an arse, can't you? Yeah, you can. An arse is an arse. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. So you, what did you arse, can't you? Yeah, you can. An arse is an arse. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. So what did you see? Or was this you? This was me and my husband. Okay. And what happened? We were having some naked cuddles. Okay.

It's a nice way to cuddle. I was in a building, one of the apartment buildings opposite Te Papa in Wellington. Oh, okay. Yep. And we were right by the window and halfway through I just looked to my left and as I looked down, just as I looked, a group of people started waving at me. Like they're people watching. Wow. Wow, and you were like. Like, I've been watching. Wow. Wow, and you were like, okay, people can see in.

Yeah, in my panic, I rolled off my husband and popped my knee out. Rolled off my husband. I love it. Anonymous, brilliant. Thanks for your call. Kieran, you work in an office building. You see this all the time.

Every single day we see it. And yesterday a lady adjusted her boobs right in front of the window. And we all wish we could get a payout for that. But it didn't happen. So you work right by the, what is it, a reflective window, and people just don't think there's anyone behind it. No, they just pick their teeth, they do their makeup, they adjust their hair, everything.

Yeah, every single day we get it, and we just go up to the window and knock on it, and they get a fright and get all embarrassed. Brilliant. Just knock on it just as they're doing their lippy. It could be worse, Karen, because somebody said they work in a school and their office in the school has a mirrored window and there's one dad who on drop off or pick up will adjust his lava lava in front of the mirrored window.

But the same rule applies to lava lava lovers as the kilts for Scottish and often gets a good look at the D&B do you not wear knickers under a lava lover what

I don't know I wouldn't know but then it's warm it was established on a tropical island the idea is the freedom

of movement of air in the nether region so I wouldn't maybe not Kieran thanks for your call Scott when did you think

nobody could see you? So me and one of the boys, we were in Thailand, and as people do, they decide to go have a banana milkshake at a party. And we thought it would be quite funny to go and try and sneak into behind the bar, which is one of those bush shacky things.

And this was in the day pre-camo where everyone sort of says, oh, what's that guy wearing? So we decided, oh yeah, we won't be seen. So we're sneaking along the back wallcamo where everyone sort of says, oh, what's that guy wearing? So we decided, oh, yeah, we won't be seen. So we're sneaking along the back wall, and the security guard kind of says, oh, it's like a quick gecko. And so my mate, the size of a bull, decides to jump on the wall and actually destroys the back of the shack.

Lo and behold, the bouncers see us, and we get escorted from the building with raising chairs from the rest of the crowd. So thanks to the ingredients in that banana milkshake, you believed you were invisible geckos. Absolutely right.

Well, the world was always saying we could go anywhere. Yeah, I mean, it does fit the brief. You didn't think nobody could see you. Yes. Thanks for your call, Scott. Some texts.

I was mowing my lawn, mowing the lawns in my undies. No bra on the boss turned up. And I was mowing the lawn so I didn't hear it and I turned around and there they were. No bra on the boss turned up. And it was mowing the lawn so I didn't hear it and I turned around and there they were. Oh dear. Right. Okay. Looking at me. Somebody said we lived in a two bedroom apartment in

Sydney and it was right next to another apartment but one of the apartments in the building opposite was an Airbnb so it was constantly changing and people didn't know that we could just see straight in. You'd see some things eh? It was like it was its own little TV channel't know that we could just see straight in You'd see some things It was like it was its own little TV channel Only you'd have a new episode each day

Yeah, something exciting Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far and it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey guys, let's

get back into that podcast. My parents, every time around, every time at this, what? Every year. You're the one telling it. Every year at this time. There we go. We got there. Words, eh? I get paid to do this.

Pretty weird, eh? Oh, God. Every year at this time, they go away to Australia. Here's the reason why. It's my brother's birthday on the 18th of November. And even though he moved away,

they go and see him for his birthday. That's unbelievable. Yes, it's something I, it's an axe I grind. Right, but they come up and see you all the time. Do they? Do they?

Yeah, and babysit. How much does that cost them? It's free, isn't it? Oh, you're saying they should spend money on you. I should get the cash equivalent. You know me, I'm a big fan of cash equivalents. How much are the flights to see my brother Philip? I want the cash equivalent.

How often are they taking them? Yep. They've got to drive to Auckland to fly to my brother's. So every time they drive up, they should have to come and see me and bring me the cash equivalent of the flight. I dare you to say this to Christine. I do all the time. But that's not the only reason they're going over there, right?

They tack it on to something for them. So it's also their wedding anniversary on the 26th of November. They are going to be married 42 years this year. Wow. And as it is written in the ancient scripture of the boomer, they must go to Noosa

if they have a week's spare. Now, is it true your parents love Noosa? Love it. And Internania's parents, are they Noosa? No, Caitlin's parents love Noosa. Caitlin's parents.

Wait, where do your parents love Malula Bar? Where do your parents go? Port Douglas Caitlin's parents love Noosa. Caitlin's parents. Wait, where do your parents live? Malula Bar. Where do your parents go? Port Douglas. Port Douglas. Same fans for Noosa, baby. It's all the same thing to a boomer. It's just, it's a lovely... What?

It's an Australian town with a marina. Explain it to me. They like it because my dad's name is Douglas. Oh, bleep. That's right. Because where did they... What was where they go for Whitney's? Port me. The Whitsundays. And then bleep. That's right. What was where they go for witness? It's like Port Me.

The Whitsundays. And then Port Douglas. That's right. And for your 30th, they're going to take you to the Catlins. Yeah, that's right. In South Island. That's so weird. That's so funny.

So they are going to go to Noosa. And now we heard yesterday, Noosa's on fire. Oh, goodness. So they might not be able to go because they were going to go see my goodness. So they might not be able to go because they were going to go see my brother but they might not be able to because where he lives

there's all these fires. Yeah. Like I looked the other day having caught the train out to my brother's place from Sydney a couple of times which is how mum and dad like to do it

because driving in Sydney is scary. It's so scary. There's lots of lanes. Oh God. Caught in the wrong lane. So they take the train. The train was

the train was going right through the guts of some of these massive fires. Oh, it is insane. Like there are so many fires stretching for like hundreds of kilometres. Yeah, Port Macquarie's on fire. Because my brother's wife, she keeps us updated on these things. He doesn't. He's useless. So she's been sending us photos.

They're like, Port Macquarie's on fire. They were due to go there. Noosa now, North Noosa's been evacuated and those bushfires have been described as completely out of control. So they've got no way of stopping them and wherever the wind blows is going to take them apparently. They were also saying that it could be months of burning these fires. Good Lord.

Wildly out of control. It's before Eastern Australia has more than a million hectares of bushfires under control. Quoting a news story here. That's from the New South Wales Fire Chief. That's one of his warnings. Faces one of its worst bushfire outbreaks. And it's early.

It's not the heat of summer yet. They've got their February's. You think about the really bad bushfires happen a little bit further into summer usually. It's not November. So the forecast next week is for hot weather, which is not ideal. And the fires, I saw a great,

I love a little bit of a graphic of how things work and how those bushfires, yesterday when we were talking to the Boz, TVNZ's reporter who's kind of covering it. The Boz. He said that these smoke, these fires can cause thunderstorms and then the thunderstorms in turn,

lightning strikes, cause more. More fires and it's ever self-feeding. I saw a graphic of how that works. It's crazy. RIP Noosa. I know. Mum and dad were like, Southern Cross Travel Insurance. Mum said she'll have to be calling them today. Yeah, but in the scheme of things,

I mean, I'm sure people are losing their lives. Oh, yeah, totally. They'll find somewhere else to go. But you know boomers, always willing to see things from other people's point of view. It's Brandy Monaco. The boy is mine. And you'll see Brandy on stage this weekend,

Friday Jams Live, Sunday, Western Springs. She will be on stage at 5.25, all the set times, all the questions that you have and ticket info for Friday Jams Live at ZM Online. And last week in Melbourne, I caught up with Brandy backstage. Hello, Brandy. I'm so excited to meet you. I'm happy to meet you too. You walk in the door and no one's going to know this from hearing this interview, but you hugged everyone in the room and you have

such a calming and beautiful energy after all these years. How do you, I mean, lots of people that have been in the industry for a long time are quite jaded or how do you keep that up? Well, I just try to, you know, work on my character. Of course, I'm not perfect at all. I have moments like everyone else, but I think just, you know, this is just who I am, you know, just, I love people and I love kindness. I love love. And I just put out what I want to get back, you know, unless somebody crosses me and my mic's not working or something. But other than that, I mean, I have no problems with anyone. I would like to tell you that The Boy Is Mine was the first music I ever bought.

Really? Yeah. I had a single. It was the first thing I ever bought with my own money. Oh, wow. That was a really good song then, huh? It's amazing how people still love that song. Yeah.

Me and my best friend used to sing it together, and I was like, I'm always Brandy. You can be Monica. I'm Brandy. Yes, thank you for being me. And that was our singing into the hairbrush song. Yes, I mean, I did it too, girl. It turned into a mic one day like yours turned into a mic. Yeah, yeah.

Who did you sing in a hairbrush to? Oh, I sang to Whitney Houston. I sang to Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, Michael Jackson. And you were probably on key. Sometimes I was lip- No, no, sometimes I was lip-singing to them because, you know, at that time I wanted to be Whitney and everybody else, especially Michael Jackson. Yeah. And you were all going for the big guns.

That's a lot to take on. Of course. We are very much looking forward to seeing you in New Zealand for the first time. I know, I can't wait. Can I teach you some of our, one of our official languages? Yes. Can I teach you how to say hello? Yes, please.

So it's Maori is the language. Maori? Mm-hmm. Can you say that right? Yeah. Okay. You nailed it. Maori.

So to say hello would be kia ora. Kia ora. That was perfect. That was perfect. That was perfect. Let me not get too cocky with it because I just mispronounced it on the second one. Give it to me one time. Kia ora. Kia ora.

Yeah. Okay. So to say hello New Zealand would be kia ora Aotearoa. Kia ora Aotearoa. No, one more time. Aotearoa. Aotearoa. Okay.

Kia ora Aotearoa. Yeah. That's so. Aotearoa. Aotearoa, okay. Kia ora, Aotearoa. Yeah, that's so good. Now, you're going to be at the show, right? What? You're going to be at the show, right? Yes. I'm going to need you to come on backstage and teach me. I can do that. I can do that.

If you need someone to sing the other part of the boy's mind too, I'll do Monica's bit this one time. I'll do Monica. You do. Okay, I'll do Brandy. Brandy's super sad I'm going to do you. Well, what would you like to say to people who have not yet bought a ticket to Friday

Jam's Live? Y'all better buy one. This is it. I mean, this is like going to be a great concert. And I mean, have a lot of more shows before that show. That means at the New Zealand show, I'm going to be prepped and ready to go. Yes.

Absolutely. And I'm pretty sure everyone else will too. Yeah. Get your tickets, people. Brandy, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Oh my God, you fangirled like you're a teenage. You did. When she left, she remembered my name.

When I saw her later, she was like, hi, Megan. I was like. And she said I had a great energy, which you didn't hear either. So he said to tell you that. It's funny that that's not on the recording. I've been told that. She's like, you have a wonderful energy.

Vaughan's also been told he has a wonderful energy. By who? He said it to you, Zach. Remember? Zach. Zach, friend of the show, Zach. He said Vaughan's got the most wonderful energy. Yeah, that's right.

I was like, you don't know him well enough. He didn't know I was there when it happened and I laughed. I was like, yeah, you're not very good at reading energies. Yeah, you don't know him well enough yet. He's an energy expert. Let's jump in the Fletch Vaughan and Megan time machine now and go back some time to when Caitlin, our producer Caitlin, was in a car accident. A minor, a minor, a minor car accident.

Not hurt, but it did lead to the riding off of your car at the time, which was called? Bridget. Bridget. The silver Toyota Corolla. RIP Bridget. I still keep getting messages to say that I need to, like emails to say that I need to renew the warrant and stuff. Did you like unregister the car? I don't know.

Was I supposed to do that? Oh my gosh. It seems like something. Because if you go to unregister it now, they're going to make you pay all the back registration. What? But she's not on the road. It doesn't matter.

It's on you to register your car. No, well, hang on a road. It doesn't matter. It's on you to register your car. No, well, hang on a minute. I don't know. Warrant of fitness is different because if it's from like a, is it from a service place? That's like we gave you a warrant once and now you come back here and get your warrant? But yeah, you should have sorted out your registration.

How long ago was it written off? Like a year. Oh. I love the idea. It's like finally someone's life's more of a mess than mine. Hang on. Aww. I love the idea it's like finally someone's life's more of a mess than mine. Hang on, no. I'll ask my parents.

They'll know. I'll tell you the same thing we've just told you when you do register. So, just correct me if I'm wrong but you were at the traffic lights and someone swung around the corner

aggressively, skidded out. Yes. Crossed the centre line, crashed into me, reversed back and drove off. I remember you describing the look in their eyes as meth-y. Yeah, it was. It was very, yeah, very crazy. You had their number plate that was double D's. Double D's.

Because there were lots of witnesses. There were some very caring people in Glenfield at that time, thank you, that all stopped and ran up and said it was double Ds. You've just been hit by a couple of double Ds. I didn't get it for ages and then someone was like, double Ds. I was like, eh. Yeah, and so I had to go into the police station. I know you talked to Gary from Crime Squad.

He took all the details, didn't he? Not him, because that was a bit awkward after our first date, but another police officer. And I had to do one of those face things where you point at a face. Really? Yeah. Am I allowed to say this? I don't know.

What, like a line-up? Yeah, but they weren't there. It was just on a piece of paper. Oh, no, I thought you were talking about one of those police Magna Doodles. Nah. But there were pictures on a thing, and I was like, I have no idea. And then I felt really bad because what if I'd said it was someone and it wasn't them and they got arrested? Yeah, so it was a stressful time.

Okay. So you just got a letter yesterday, and this is like a year later. Yeah, and I was like, shit, I've had a speeding ticket. Because what? Who was the letter from? Ministry of Justice. Oh, those are never good. It's jury duty or a fine.

Yeah, and I've got out of jury duty like four times now. My next time I have to do it or I go to prison. Is that what happens? I think so. I think you go to prison. I think you go to prison. Via the courtroom. You can't go to prison, babes. You wouldn't survive in I think so. I think you go to prison. I think you go to prison. Via the courtroom. You can't go to prison, babes. You wouldn't survive

in there. I know, thank you. I'm so hot. Is that what you meant? Yep. Right. You're a snack. Is that what? Right, okay. With two C's. You're a thick snack. Ooh, don't say thick. Over there looking like a thick snack.

No, thick's good. T-H-I-C-C Space N-A-S-S-N-A-C-C You're a thick snack Thank you Thank you You're most welcome

This is why we're friends I get compliments daily So you get the letter from the Ministry of Justice Yes and I run back to my house and I open it. And it says reprimand? Reparation? Reparation. Reparation.

At the top. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm being reprimanded. But you're kind of into that, eh? No. Fine! That's disgusting! I thought we'd established that. Fine! That's disgusting! I thought we'd established that. No!

Stop it! As your mum was laughing. He's laughing! James is like, bleh. I don't! James is clocked out. Stop it! James arrives at work and then checks out.

Wait, are you talking about smacks? Are you talking about smacks? Yeah, smacks. Oh, yeah, yeah. No! What do you mean? Why are you talking about smacks? Are you talking about smacks? Yeah, smacks. Oh, yeah, yeah. No! Why are you doing that? Why are you cutting the throat? Why are you charading to say,

now don't talk about it? Why is your mum listening? Don't be ashamed, babe. It's alright. I don't like being smacked. We're not kink-shaming you. No, I'm not kink-shaming you. Oh my God,

am I about to start on all three of you? Because I will. Today's the day. I'm going to let loose. I'm going to tell all our secrets. I was being supportive. I was like, don't kink show me. Do you want to hear the, I'm not, this is not about this.

You're not going to get smacked by the Ministry of Justice, even though that does sound hot. Am I right? Oi, who from the Ministry of Justice does the smacking? I don't know anyone in it. Oh, okay. I don't think we should be saying this. Like some old judge? Now, Andrew Little's the Minister of Justice

and Daddy's got a beard. Not while I'm drinking coffee. Anyway, what did this letter say? Can you calm down? Someone turn him on. Andrew Little is a thick snap. You just called Andrew Little Daddy. Daddy thick snap.

Oh, my God. Does he have a Twitter? I'm going to tweet him. And apologise. Daddy thick snack. The Minister of Justice. Go on. I mean, if people put these on their election billboards,

they might get elected. I'm just saying. Daddy thick snack. Two tugs of blue. Red. Brilliant. You want a thick snack? Thick snack and a bit ofits of blue, red. Brilliant. You want a Thick Snack? Thick Snack and a bit of a

knick-knack paddywhack? Daddy might be little in name, but he's big in nature. And that's when Andrew Little took out a defamation proceedings against us. Defamation is an assassination

of character. If anything, we've just made him a thick snack. Yeah, a thick ear. And defamation, you have to prove it to be wrong. Yeah. Let's have a pick of them tiny. What is daddy thick snack? Get back to the... I don't know what's happened here.

I have gone down a path. Oh, so anyway, you get a letter from the Ministry of Justice. They're not coming to smack you. Androna isn't smacking you. What's happening? Excuse me, that's Daddy Fixnack. We need to get to the point of this. So basically, they found the guy.

He must be out of prison. Because when I was like this guy here, they were like, okay, we think we know who he is, but he's in prison so he can't pay you. And I was like, okay, that's right. I had like, I think it was I had to pay $400 for my excess. And they were like, we have found him and now he has to pay you $400. Yay! And I was like, I called mum

and I was like, mum, I'm getting $400 in the bank right away. This is going to be great. And then she was like, oh, no, it means that like maybe he'll pay like $10 a week or whatever he can afford a week. And then they'll pay the ministry, they'll pay Daddy Thick Snack. And then he'll...

He'll trickle it down. And then he'll trickle it down. So I might only get like $10 a week for like four years. I thought they paid you. I thought Daddy Thick Snack wrote a check because Daddy Thick Snack is always writing checks. thought Daddy Thick Snack wrote a check because Daddy Thick Snack is always writing checks. Okay. Because Daddy Thick Snack also,

Daddy Thick Snack got bank, which is another great thing. So he's now Sugar Daddy Thick Snack. Yeah. I thought he bulk paid you and then old Double D's paid him back. Nah, Double Nah, I don't think that works. And also, if you were insured,

your registration is nothing to worry about. Because they take ownership of your car and then they get a bit of kickback. Yay! It's a great day for everyone. I don't have to pay lots of... If you've just joined the show, I can't explain this. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan.

What are you doing, Vaughan? I'm just creating a Wikipedia account so I can edit Andrew Little's Wikipedia page to say Thick Daddy Snack. No, Daddy Thick Snack. Daddy Thick Snack. Vaughan. I keep getting the capture wrong. Aunt Serato. That's a weird one, isn't it? The last time you edited a Wikipedia caption, you got in a lot of trouble. Did I? I can't remember that. Several years ago.

What was it? Two of the months after. Oh, no, just a minute, guys. Wait. I can't remember. But you edited something and it nearly got you in a lot of trouble. See, I can't remember it, so it can't have been that bad. It was.

At the time, it was very, very bad. Okay. It's going to come to me anyway. Well, I can't even say it on air if I do remember. Yeah. Okay. It's going to come to me anyway. Well, I can't even say it on air if I do remember. Yes. Intern Anya, we must talk next about your upcoming Queenstown half marathon. This weekend in... Queenstown. Where is it?

Queenstown. Wow. I had a thought. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, this weekend, into nine, your flights are booked. Accommodation is sorted. Yep, the family's glamping. What?

Wait, is the whole fam going with you? Yeah. What? Yep. That's weird. Where are you glamping? One question at a time, please. I believe it's called Lake Johnston.

It's about a 20-minute drive from Queenstown. So you're going to do the half marathon that's in Queenstown this weekend. Why is your whole family going to watch that? Because I said one and done. I'm doing one. Come and have a look if you wish. I didn't know. So who are we talking family-wise?

Mum, dad. Yep. My sister and her partner. Successful sister, Sophie. Yep. She's got a partner. Yeah, she's had a partner. Successful sister, Sophie. Yep. She got a partner. Yeah, she's had a partner for like five years, mate. Oh, she kept that quiet.

What about Andy? Yeah, he's coming. Oh, okay. He was just a given. Oh, so the whole kit and caboodles going down. It's a triple date. But are they going down to watch you do this, or was this just a side effect?

Yeah, it's like a family holiday slash... Fletch just doesn't understand the concept of like paying money to support a family member. No, but my parents would get bored as well. They'd just be like, this is stupid. We're not going to go watch you run. That's silly. We could be in the garden. They'd just rather be in the garden.

So here's my issue, is that you're going to run heaps and be real sore and then you're going to glamp. Yeah. So I've scheduled in a strop for Saturday afternoon already. What's a strop? Like when I... A tanty. She's packing a tanty. I'm going to haveamp. Yeah. So I've scheduled in a strop for Saturday afternoon already. What's a strop?

Like when a tanty. She's packing a tanty. I'm going to have a tanty, yeah. I thought that was an acronym for something running related. No. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I'll have a sock probably 2, 3 p.m., I think.

Okay, yeah. So I've just said to just leave me alone in that time. Yeah. So that's pre-run. No, that's after. Oh, so the run's on Saturday. Okay, yeah. The only issue is, according to Met Service,

the forecast is periods of rain, chance heavy, not easterlies at times. And it's also supposed to snow on Sunday, so probably quite chilly. So you have been floating the idea behind the scenes that you are considering going to Queenstown but not doing the run. Perhaps catching a Lime Scooter or pulling out altogether.

I don't think they have Lime Scooters at the start of the race, no. I'm looking at this place I think I found where you're glamping. There's a gas-powered hot tub. You'll be able to relax after the run, cold as you would be, in the hot tub. Pre-socle post. With mum, dad, sister, boyfriend, sister's boyfriend, and yourself. That's a real, that's a hen vest soup. It really is.

So, you've got to do it. You can't have done all this training for nothing. Yeah, you ran, what, 18Ks the other day? So you have been training. That's only another 3Ks. You can always walk that. But what if I catch a cold and then I can't come to Friday Gems Live?

And then I'll have to have a strop on Sunday night too. The cold won't kick in until Monday, Tuesday, and then you take a couple of days off work. So we're all okay with that? Absolutely not. Absolutely. How long ago did you book this? How long ago did you?

May. So since May, you've been training, and you are literally on the verge of pulling out because it might rain. Oh, heavy, though. Did you hear what I said? Chance heavy. I don't know if I can run that risk.

Six months of preparation. Yes, it took me that long to do it on my fingers. Six months. Okay, I want to know, I want to ask the question this morning for people listening. What have you been planning for ages? What did you plan for ages and then pull out of last minute just because CBF? You will not be the only one that's done that with a marathon or a half.

You ran 18, like the feeling that you get, I've only done one half marathon, but the feeling that you do for training all that time and then doing it is so amazing. You'll be buzzing. You won't even have a strop on Saturday. Because I've seen people after they've run marathons and it's like, and then they lie down and they cramp up. Yeah. And then your toenails fall off.

Oh, God. You do your marathon, you smash a Ferg burger, you go to the Remarkable Sweet Shop, you ask for seven samples and you don't buy anything. I mean, you've got all these things to do and then you hit the hot tub for the hen vest soup. I mean, what a weekend. And then I've got to go to Professionale

to sort my toes out. Oh, they won't want to deal with that. They'll turn you away. They'll give you new toes. They'll talk about you and you won't know what they're talking about. That's what happened to me at Professionale. I was like, are you talking about me?

And the woman looked at her friend and then looked back at me and was like, no. I was like, are you talking about me? And the woman looked at her friend and then looked back at me and was like, no. I was like, you work. Somebody said you don't get a cold from being cold or wet. No, you don't. Yeah, that's a stupid thing to say. You are doing this race even if I have to go down and make you start. He will too.

He's got the air points. Safety dad will give you a bloody good pep talk on the morning. You've probably got accommodation in Queenstown too, if you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean. Networking. That's how he claims it back as his business expense.

How did this turn into a mean roast? Anya has been training since May and is about to pull out of a half marathon. 0800 Giles at M right now. This is just nerves. You can do this. You can do this. 9696, what did you train or plan?

It didn't have to be a running race or anything physical, but what were you planning for ages and then you pulled out of last minute? And really there was no excuse. Give us a call, 0800 Giles at M. We are talking about what you pulled out of last minute uh intern anya has been training for six months to do the queenstown half marathon she's we're gonna have to peer pressure her she's done well with her training too it feels as if she's been if you've run 18 k's a week before you've got to do a half marathon it's not easy it's not that's not, but then it's not much of a stretch

to do another couple of Ks on race day. Yeah, jazz on race day. Bit of carbo loading. They have free lollies along the way. Some of them. Can you promise lollies at the Queenstown? I don't know if I can promise lollies. I don't know if I can. Okay. Lollies afterwards. But we want to know, months of planning

and then what did you just pull out of? And it doesn't have to be like a physical race. It could be anything. Nadia, what did you plan for months and then pull out of? We had tickets to Ed Sheeran. Some friends were flying up from the South Island, and I was going to go from Taronga. I was going to be buzzing with the crowds, to be honest, so I sold my ticket a couple of days beforehand. I get that.

Big crowds? And I'm getting worse. The older I get, the thought of a big crowd rattles me. We've actually got to pull Vaughan into Friday Jams kicking and screaming because of all the pages. And then he has constant breaks. I know. You need solitary breaks.

I was asked yesterday, and I thought someone was being mean about, like, do you need a place to have a break and a nap? And I thought they were being mean, but they were actually being very accommodating to my, because what is it, agoraphobia where you don't, or is that big open spaces? One of them's a crowd. No, it just gets to this point where it just gets too much.

Too many people. You need to recharge your bets. Yeah, yeah. That's why you drink. What? And that's what my therapist said. Thanks for your cool idea. Sophie, what did you plan for months and months and then pull out of?

So I studied for my end of year university exams every day and every night. I got very little sleep and then about two days before the exam, I decided I didn't want to do it. So you just pulled out of uni altogether? Yeah, I dropped out. But you were so close. I know. It was quite funny.

I almost got a qualification. Wait. Oh, my God. But Sophie, what about the student loan? I didn't get a student loan. I did a diploma, so the first year was free. Right. Don't let bloody Mike Hosking and the boomers upstairs

hear this. They'll be all over the bloody end. You don't appreciate what you don't pay for. Could you go on and just pick it up just to finish it? You were so close. I might do. Maybe. I mean, this is exactly like Anya. Yeah, but this is like Anya at the weekend. She's done the 18Ks.

You've done all the years of study. Yeah, technically you've done the hard bit. Yeah, but the hard bit's the exam, isn't it? No, not if you've done the work, says someone who doesn't have to do the exam and has never done work. I was trying to be encouraging. Yeah, it was sounding sincere. I won't be doing that again. Thanks you, cool Sophie. Some text messages.

Somebody said, by the way, lollies. This might push you over the edge to get down there into an onion. The lollies are jet planes because Air New Zealand sponsored that. Oh, they're good. Although that's quite a thick lolly. You don't want that lodged in your... Daddy thick snack? You don't want that to be running along

and get the wings stuck in your esophagus. But you want the chewy. Yeah, yeah. Those gummies are good when you're in the army. I love the jet planes. The worm could go straight down, couldn't it? A sow worm? Yeah, that could go straight down.

You did a sow worm during a half marathon. I dieted and trained for a national level bodybuilding show for 24 weeks. Oh my God, imagine all the churning you had to eat. Booked flights to Auckland and accommodation. Had a very substantial amount of fish and chips five days out from the show, so flew to Auckland for Rambo's End instead. They did all that and five days out they crumbled to the fish and chips. Would the fish and chips five days out really just ruin it?

Or is it like when you're on a diet and you have one chocolate biscuit and you're like, oh, I've ruined it now. You put on the Dixie Chicks landslide. What? Well, it's a landslide. One chocolate biscuit's the start and it's just a landslide of food. Did they mention if they had to apologise to their friends for talking about their bodybuilding competition for weeks on end?

And probably ruining their fair share of bed sheets by getting that orange tan and then jumping into bed? Because they were the original F45ers, weren't they? The bodybuilders. Wah, wah, wah, wah. Chia and rice and whatever, yeah. Yeah, prepping like eight weeks of meals and then by the end of it it's all...

No offence. Yeah, I mean, you're majorly disciplined. Willpower and discipline off the charts. I only wish I had that willpower and discipline. Because I just love cheese too much. Oh my god. Cheese. It's a way to get thick.

It is a way to get thick. And it's a good snack. I am also, just to hark back to earlier in the show, when we renamed Minister of Justice Andrew Little MP. Daddy Thick Snack. Daddy Thick Snack. I have a composed text message to, composed tweet to at Andrew Little MP, waiting to hit tweet on.

It says, morning Daddy Thick Snack. Now, what are the thoughts on pressing tweet? I don't know. Is he going to be offended by this? I don't know him. Does he understand it's like, it's complimentary? Don't know. He'll ask one of his junior staffers.

Wait, is it from your Twitter handle? Should I put it from FBM? No, don't drag us into this. I'm doing it. Three, two, one. Don't drag us into this. It's tweeted. Morning, Daddy Thick Snack.

Morning, Daddy Thick Snack. It's great. Tell him it'll appeal to the youth voters in the next election. Well, that's the thing he's going to have to ask his intern. It's a Daddy Thick Snack. It's a high praise, Andrew. I'll take it. Hope he gets a retweet.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about how the New York Police Department saved money. Okay. Because I was thinking, you know how there was that, all the story about our police, oopsie-daisy, diesel and a petrol, petrol and a diesel. Mm-hmm. And everyone was like,

the police have spent some money. Oh, they stopped criminals and stuff as well. But the money. This is about how the New York Police Department saved some money. Okay. They changed their cars, their patrol cars, were always blue. Always dark blue.

Yeah. They changed them to white and they saved over $800 a car. How? And then have heaps of cars. Heaps of cars. Cleaning it. No, it's because they had to get the cars, because they had blue cars. Yeah.

But the cars they bought weren't blue, so every one had to be painted blue. Painted or wrapped. Right. And also, the blue was not high visibility. Right. So the traffic ones had to then also be really stick it up with the reflectors. So they were like, let's go white and just put a blue stripe on it. And someone was like, okay, that's a great idea.

And they were saving over $800 a car. And this didn't, well, this actually saved them money too. They changed their uniform. Their uniform was always white and they changed it to a dark blue. Well, that's good to hide the stains. Exactly why they changed it. Oh, brilliant. Coffee stains and donut stains.

Good. Were a problem plaguing the New York Police Department. Actually, coffee and donut stains. Yeah. Oh. Of plaguing the New York Police Department. Actually, coffee and donut stains. Yeah. Oh. Of course, uniforms. The stereotype is right. I know.

Uniforms had to be kept clean. Yeah. And so many of them required multiple uniforms because at the end of the shift, they'd have to take them for a soak. Blood. And then they wouldn't be ready for the next shift. Yeah, right.

So they said, we need a darker colour and then you can get a couple of shifts out of a shirt if there's no profuse amount of sweating. Yeah. And then, so't be ready for the next shift. Yeah, right. So they said, we need a darker colour, and then you can get a couple of shifts out of a shirt if there's no profuse amount of sweating. Yeah. And then, so they changed that as well and saved a little bit more money. Huh. I always think our police...

Simple colour changes. I think our police need a new uniform. It's so meh. And that fabric doesn't look breathy. The pants don't look... Like, you see the pants, you're like, those aren't cool. Just get a more flattering cut, eh? Just like... If I was a police, eh? Just like, really not flattering.

If I was a player, I'd want, like, police shorts. Like, shorty shorts. Kind of like stubbies, maybe. And just pulled up socks. I don't know. But then some of you see them walking around, you're like, you guys need shorts and a polo. They could still get a lovely, like, dress short. Like a Chino short.

But then what would they do, like, at the bottom? Would they have a walking sock? An anklet? Oh, I'd go anklet? Would they have a walking sock? An anklet? Oh, I'd go anklet. They would not be taken seriously wearing an anklet. And then what have they got with the sort of shoes they wear? Don't go with a short. Even you see the police in Australia and they look cool

with their shorts and their caps. What have they got in the way of Australia? I don't know what they wear. Do they pull their socks up? They've still got to wear, like, big booty shoes because you've got to kick criminals in the face. I mean, doors down. You don't have to.

Yeah, doors need to be kicked down. You stand on syringes and stuff. Oh, they wear anklets. Do they? The Aussie police officers. Immediately, I'm not as threatened by them. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, they look like they're on casual shoe day.

Oh, I don't know if I'd want to be chasing down an offender in my Asics. Well, that's a running shoe. Oh, I don't know if I'd want to be chasing down an offender in my Asics. Well, that's a running shoe. Oh, yeah, true. Good call. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, I wanted to wear my big boots. That's exactly what it's designed for. No, you'd want to be running after if you're going to be on foot.

If you're a patrol. But then if I'm jumping over roofs and stuff, I want the ankle support that boots give. There's no ankle support within Asics, is there? If I'm jumping over roofs and stuff, I want the ankle support that boots give. There's no ankle support with an Asics, is there? If I'm jumping over from rooftop to rooftop. I'm just going by movies. Then you've got to be carrying the extra weight of the boot. I think you'd be better in an Asics.

Just stretch your ankle. Just get my gun out and I'll taser them. How far did the taser shoot? I don't know. I wouldn't be doing too much running. I don't think I'd like that. Somebody said they used to wear shorts on Waiheke Island. Oh, okay. Yeah. But is it, was, that's probably

the, cause you know everyone's a bit happy over there, probably just made his own out of hemp. Yeah, that's true. Cause no one checks, do they? He probably just made his own hemp. Yeah, somebody messaged in saying they recently saw some police on patrol. It was a warm day, but they were wearing the long pants and they really made the birdie pop.

Oh, okay, right. Looking like a thick snack out there. Keeping the streets of New Zealand safe. That's probably a memo from Andrew Little, Justice Minister. Well, that's right. Daddy Thick Snack wants Lieutenant Thick Snack, Constable Thick Snack. He wants

everybody looking like a Thick Snack. Yeah. You behave better around hot people, correct? Yeah. Yeah, but that's because you're thinking about sleeping with them. Yeah, so you're not really. But then wouldn't that also work with the police? If they were all hot.

Criminals wouldn't do it if all the police looked like Thick Snack. I don't know, Vaughn. Okay, carry on. I'm just looking. Now, see, I don't think our uniform's that bad. It is. It's horrible. It is.

It's just the material. No, the official, like, number ones or whatever, like the dress-ups ones that they put on for the graduation, they're pretty gnarly and old. But I think on the beat, that's not too bad. Anyway, good chat. Pretty pleased with the New Zealand police uniform on a whole. But today's fact of the day was

to save money and reduce having to wash their shirts because of donut and coffee stains, New York Police Department changed their uniform to dark blue and their cars to white. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day!

Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Last night, the third reading of the euthanasia bill passed in Parliament. 50 to 69, I think the votes were. So what, they're going to put people down at 69? Yeah, between 50 and 69.

That's like, you're gone. No. It's going to be voted on in the next general election. So there'll be a referendum on weed, marijuana, and euthanasia. Which is assisted Assisted dying For terminally Ill adults Which I'm all for

But I And I didn't realise How much of a Divisive Idea this is Yeah So religious people Don't like it

Because it goes against Whatever But Yeah I'm just like It seems to me That's a person's choice Like That's up to them

Not all religious people Are against My nan's a pretty's choice. Like, that's up to them. Not all religious people are against it. My nan's a pretty ardent Catholic, but she also doesn't believe anybody because she saw her husband. Suffer. Well, you get to that age. Yeah, for sure. And you would think that, wouldn't you? It would change some stuff.

So, you know, not everybody that's religious is against it, but there's a large portion of the against. I saw recently there was this big thing, 1,100 doctors come out against it. And I thought, 1,100 doctors? How many doctors are there in New Zealand? So I just found in 2016, there was 15,000 doctors. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. So for every doctor that signed that, there's 14-odd thousand that didn't. And the numbers of doctors in New Zealand has been increasing exponentially. So it's probably more than 15,000 now. I was reading on doctors an article that was saying that in eight years,

is it nearly half or 45% of doctors will retire because heaps of doctors are real old. Like getting close to retirement. Because do you think about it, is your doctor like retiring in eight years? No. Last couple of had him been really young. Yeah, right.

But that's crazy, eh? So is there going to be a shortage? I don't know. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. Reading that stat, I was like, that seems crazy that like nearly half of doctors will be retiring in eight years. We'll just get more overseas doctors. Great.

That's what happens, right? I think so. Hey, are you a doctor and you want to come and live in New Zealand. It's pretty neat. It's pretty neat down here. Sure. Come and be a doctor. So, yeah, they could come on down.

Right. Yeah, so the euthanasia bill, you're going to be able to vote on that. Right. And what have public opinion said? It's always about 50-60, isn't it? Four? Yeah, it's always pretty close. It's closer than you think.

I mean, don't let us sway you towards it because I mean, sometimes I forget like not everybody thinks it's like funny how funny me and my mum think it is that one day she told me I have to smother her with a pillow. That's not everybody's idea of a gag. It's not. But in the Smith family, we've

always had this weird relationship with death. Yeah. Laugh at it because there's no point. Worrying. It's coming anyway. But yeah, do some reading up on it and see where you sit on that. Because when's the next election? Next year.

Next year, yeah, 2020. That and marijuana. Yeah. And for who we want to be like PM and those people that go around and do stuff. That aren't the Prime Minister. The MPs? Yes. The PM and the MP. That aren't the Prime Minister. The MPs? Yes. The PM and the MP.

Yes. Those people. Yes. I vote for Daddy Fixnack. Is a vote not wasted. You're a broadcaster. You should be more impartial. Right.

Yeah. So because I've labelled Andrew Little Daddy Fixnack, I now need a what? Have you seen that he's tweeted you back? Has he? Morning and a wink! Yes, Daddy Thick Snack's tweeted me back!

That's getting a retweet right now. I'm just glad he's not pursuing legal action. But no, does that mean I have to pick someone from National to be wildly sexually inappropriate towards? You've got to be balanced. National justice spokesperson.

Amy Adams. Who is it? Mark Mitchell. Mark Mitchell? Spokesperson for justice. Mark Mitchell? Yeah. I don't know anything about Mark Mitchell.

Oh, wow. You better start. Mark Mitchell, New Zealand MP. Is he a daddy fix snack? He doesn't need your judgment this time of the morning. Not as much of a snack? I'll come up with something. Okay.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. If you've just joined the show earlier this morning, we talked about producer Caitlin. You got a letter, Caitlin, from the Ministry of Justice. Yeah. Because you're getting $400 back when a guy sideswiped you. Yes. And he's gone to court and he has to pay you.

And now I'm being reprimanded. No, reparated. Reparated. You're receiving reparations now. It was your confusion with reprimanding from the Ministry of Justice that got us on to talking about, if you were to be reprimanded by the Ministry of Justice, who would you want

dishing out the smacks? Yeah, because Caitlin loves the smacks. No, that's not... Big, massive fan of an open palm on a bare ass. We're not...

No, I'm not kink-shaming you. I'm not kink-shaming you. I don't know. That's not how the story is going to start. And if we should be kink-shaming anybody,

it should be Fletch. Exactly. He just bolt just bolt upright. So anyway, then it got on to the fact that I thought Andrew Little, despite the name Little, always struck me as a man with a big strong hand. He's the Minister of Justice. And it turns out we Googled he's the Minister of Justice. And so then we thought he would be best to deal out.

And you gave him a minute? He said reprimanding. And I said, he's a thick snack. He's a thick snack daddy. He's over there looking like a thick snack. Because he's dealing out smacks. He's daddy thick snack. In the most respectful manner.

In the most respectful manner. Time passed. Yeah. And I get carried away. You might know this. If you're a regular listener to the show, I get a little bit silly. You do. And years later, I'll look back on this day and I'll be away. You might know this. If you're a regular listener to the show, I get a little bit silly. You do.

And years later, I'll look back on this day and I'll be like, what happened? Yeah. Because I can't remember the emotions that made me do these things. Yeah. And then half an hour later, I composed a tweet to Andrew Little

saying, morning daddy fix nag. Now, I took a quick pulse of the room and everyone said, send it. So I sent it. It might be, we thought, maybe a little inappropriate, given that he is a member of parliament. Perhaps, unprofessional. And he maybe has got no idea of the story behind this.

And he replied, morning, with a winky face. Now, that's pretty cool. And I was like, he's got a good sense of humor about this. I have now noticed on Twitter, at Andrew Little MP, that's his handle, that hasn't changed. However, his display name with a blue tick beside it is now Andrew Daddy Thick Snack Little. Spelt right.

T-H-I-C-C-S-N-A-C-C. This is great. Andrew Daddy Thick Snack Little. Our Minister of Justice. I love this. It's great. What have we done? The Thick Hand of Justice.

That's swift. Oh, the Thick Hand of Justice. Criminals will be cowering. End, Caitlin. I think we might see an increase in female-led petty crime. And of justice. Criminals will be cowering. And Kate Luke. I think we might see an increase in female-led petty crime. Not something that's going to get you locked up, but something that could get you the thick hand. Well, that's amazing.

Wow. Of New Zealand justice. I hope he's not going to get in trouble with Jacinda. Nah. He'll just mention Vaughan's name and she'll be like, oh yeah. And shake her head. Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Head music lives here. ZM.