ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 16 2018

Episode Date: November 15, 2018

Megan Vomited Christmas all over Fletch's house, Indie won $50 and when did your Mum ruin your dating life?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello there and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, where you can get a new Nokia on a prepaid rollover pack starting from $19. Now, on with the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Two minutes past six. Now I can't speak for the rest of the country, but in my neck of the woods, what a beautiful morning it was. It was that orange glow.

Oh, Vaughan sees that because he gets here later. Because I arrive. You guys should really arrive to work later, take in the sunrise. Vaughan messages the rest of us a photo. It's a lovely morning. We're all like, Vaugh boom, we're at work already. We don't know what it's like outside. Suckers.

The blinds are down. Get to work. Look at those oranges. It's the orange to the blue. Well, enjoy the beautiful morning because apparently the country's in for late Sunday, Monday, a wintry front. A wintry front. Do you remember when they're like, November is going to be hot

and... It's going to be sun off. Expect 30 degrees. Because Simon Bridges was on with it. Because we're at the 16th now. I think that's been the last week. That's all they're giving us. Let's not get carried away with 30 though. That made everybody pump up...

For the whole of November. That made everyone pump up. They oversold it. And for the whole of November. That made everyone pump up their little pools. Put some water in them. Or you might have to deflate them, yeah, because next week the wild weather apparently is bad. Or leave them up and the rain will fill it up. Is that right? Yeah.

Although I just had a quick look at the forecast for Friday Jams Live on Sunday. Of course you did. The odd little shower at the moment, but it's been changing every day. Yeah, it's just Friday. We'll worry about the weather on Sunday. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. I've got three news headlines. For three interesting, unusual, quirky news stories, Vaughan and Megan must pick one of the following three. That's how it works. Okay. The other ones deleted. We don't know works. Okay. The other one's deleted. We don't know about them.

Headline one, artist back. Headline two, overreaction to naked women on bus. And headline three, woman steals live lobster, which I believe we were just talking about the other day, Megan. Yeah, so Megan says she did if she went live. That was my dream when I was a kid. I'd go in and buy all the lobsters and set them free. Or just steal them out of the tank and set them free.

She's living your dream. She's living your dream. Well, I know one of the other stories as well. I read about that. That's a woman in Saudi Arabia who was on a bus and she wasn't wearing her Iran next door. They're all the same. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I said next door. I said next door. They're all the same. I didn't say that.

I didn't say that. I said next door. I said next door. And she wasn't wearing her head hijab. I don't know how to say it. Hijab. Hijab. Yeah, hijab.

Because it's got a J in it. It's not a standard New Zealand J. That sort of trips me over. Careful with my Js it's got a J in it. It's not a standard New Zealand J. That's what always trips me over. Careful with my Js. And she wasn't wearing it. And some dudes flipped out and caught her naked and stuff. I know. It's crazy, eh?

It's different. It's different. It's very different to what we're used to. Yes. Because to be here in New Zealand, you could actually be naked on a bus and people would be like, oh, yep. Don't sit next to that guy.

But other than that, you know, let that crazy, drunk, naked guy get on with his day. People would probably just leave you alone, eh? Because they just wouldn't

want to deal with you. Why would you want to deal with them? Okay, well, so what is it? You've touched on the lobster. Do you want that or the artist back headline?

Artist back? I think touched on the lobster. Do you want that or the artist back headline? Artist back? I think. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's not a story. I'll tell you right now. It's not a story about Banksy who's back with another wacky portrait. Okay.

Or a self-destructing work of art. Yeah. This is a Canadian tattoo artist. Now, he unfortunately passed away, and the widow of the Canadian tattoo artist, who's 41, has preserved her husband's back tattoo using $80,000 and a special formula so his body art can be framed and put on the wall.

I've heard of this. This is what, so it's like keepsakes of people. You can like take, like they cut their tattoos off. Was it tribes in America, like Native American tribes, First Nation? They used to do this, I think, if a chief died and because the tattoo, you could only get that tattoo. If you were the chief. If you were top dog. So when you died, that got taken tattoo, you could only get that tattoo. If you were the chief. If you were top dog.

Right. So when you died, that got taken off, and like, put on something, and that was your... Right. You know, like, how you were remembered within generations to come. Well, his widow hired a company called My Ink Forever. Right. And it's cost her $80,000. Wow.

Now, I'm assuming that's American or Canadian dollars, so close. It'd be over $100,000 New Zealand. You can make a cow skin rug for less than that. I would just use that technology. But why couldn't you just take a photo of it? Good call. Unless you didn't have a good photo. Take a photo and blow it up and get that framed.

It's creepy, right? And it apparently takes three months. It involves a special formula, and you have to surgically remove the skin. Yeah. But are they just pickling it? Like, do you know what I mean? Putting it in a pickle?

It would be a form of preservation, right? It hangs on the wall like a painting. So they've framed it. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Would you frame that? I mean, it's not my choice. A couple of eagles.

No, see, if I really loved it, I'd probably get someone to, like you say, take a photo of it and then recreate it. Yeah. I'd pay an artist like a couple of thousand versus 80. Yeah, pay an artist to do that on the wall. Do like some cool art. That's a great idea.

And then frame that. Because does it... No, no, because they preserve it. But yeah, I don't know. What's the deal with my human skin? It won't leave... Oh, no, it has let me go to the Save My Ink. What's the deal with skinning your human It won't leave. Oh, no, it has let me go to the Save My Ink. What's the deal with skinning your human?

Like when you're done with them? But it's like pig skin, right? You just have to like cure it. Could you have made a purse out of Nana? Like if you got Nana to put it in the well, being like I betrothed my skin to my grandson and then I'm like, all right, Nana's. I'm just going to skin Nana and turn her into a purse.

I tell you what, it'd be a good wearing purse because nannies are leathery, aren't they? It'll be waterproof. No, but do you know how they go in the garden and then they just get a little nick? And they don't stop bleeding. You put your purse down, it gets a little nick and you're like, oh, it's ripped. It's broken. My nannies, I don't want to skin my nannies. This was all hypothetical

By the way But she's always had A very regimented Moisturising regime I remember Even as a child Nivea Oh something

Like a big tub or something A big tub Oil of Olay They love Oil of Olay They love a bit of Oil of Olay I think it was the only thing

Around when they were Like young or something In the 80s Yeah We had to combat That hard body soap Back in the day Didn't you?

That was a really clean job. Really clean job. Yes, ma'am. Well, I should mark my words. It'll happen again this year and it's happened. That's my old man talkback voice. Are you preparing for your talkback career? Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to say things like the snowflake generation. Did they say that? Oh, yeah. That's our favourite. No, but the best part is they're saying that young people love to whinge, but then that's their entire job, is whinging

and then having other old people whinge about how much other people whinge. Yeah, true. They love to drop a snowflake. They love to drop millennial willy-nilly. Yes, I particularly enjoy snowflake generation. It's like, all right, mate, you didn't go to war either. Let's not forget you were born in the comfiness of the 1950s.

Yep. So this has happened. I said yesterday that there will be a complaint about the NCEA exams. There always is. There always is. Every year it's like, that maths question made no sense. Or we weren't taught about that. Well, this one is just a word that was in there now this was a history i've read this is ridiculous it was in year 13 it was level 3

history the causes and consequences paper and it was a quote from julius caesar where it says events of importance are the result of trivial causes they are asked to analyze the extent to which they agreed or disagreed with Caesar with reference to the causes and consequences of a historical event. So it's the word trivial that the year 13, the final year of high school students had the problem with. They said it's not a common word. They hadn't been taught what it meant.

They didn't know. You're kidding, eh? Like I read this and I was like, this is a piss take, surely. The consequences of trivial causes. So, like, meaningless, silly little causes. Meaningless actions can cause major events. So, trivial. So, I've just Googled the dictionary definition or the Google definition.

Trivial, of little value or importance. Yeah. I would have thought everybody knows what this word means. Well, you know in context, right? In importance. Yeah. I would have thought everybody knows what this word means. Or you know in context, right? In meaning. Yeah. Even if you had trouble explaining what it meant. Don't worry about it.

Those are just trivial little details or something like that. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to think how you'd use it in a sentence. Oh, that's a trivial matter. Don't worry about it. Yeah. I mean, I don't. I would never use it.

In trivial pursuit. I'd never thought about the game Trivial Pursuit. It's like this is a pursuit of little importance. Excuse me, this is a game and I'm going to kill you for a pizza piece. You can kind of understand how people don't know it though because how often would you use it? You know what it means but you never use it. I always got, I don't

use it very often. Mostly I just get it gets said to me. Yeah. Worry about something, not this trivial bullshit. But people at high school probably don't get it used, like said to them, and then they would never use it. So it's just fading out. Millennials.

Too busy on their lime scooters. It's the lime scooters. I'll tell you what else it is. It's that fork knife game they're all playing till all hours of the bloody now. If it was in that, they'd know. No, if their parents had a better vocab, it would be taught to them.

Can we just get a litmus test? Caitlin, you know what the word trivial is. My mum literally uses that word on me every day because I worry about trivial things, according to her. Yeah, there you go. Trivial. That's how most of us have heard it. But you're right.

I couldn't explain it. Like, unless you, when you read it out, I was like, oh, yeah, that's what it means. I'm just like, it's just a word of its own. But you know. It's just a word. Everybody knows. James, you know, obviously, don't you? Yeah, like trivia.

Like trivia questions sort of thing, right? Is that a thing? Trivia? What does it mean? Is it the short version of it? Trivia questions. Why? That's not the same trivia questions. Why? That wouldn't...

But trivia means... Like quizzing. It's for fun, right? There's a bit of trivia. Because it doesn't matter. It's of no importance if you know this or not. Because there's a great New Zealand TV show called Nothing Trivial where they're a quiz team

and they had a whole lot of stuff going on in between. Do you remember that? Yeah, I do remember that. They got funded for quite a few seasons if we were looking for that. Wasn't that a play on words? Like as in they did like a trivia... Trivia nights. They took part in trivia nights,

but it was also like nothing trivial, like a lot of drama. So we fill our days with meaningless trivia. I've just Googled it. As soon as this turns out, we thought we were also smart because we knew trivial, but we don't know the meaning of trivia. Details, considerations, or pieces of information of little importance or value. So we were right.

That's what we said. So that's why trivia is the questions. But trivia does matter because there's a bar tab at the end of it. It's very important. That's what Vaughan's brain is full of, trivia. No point in the shit. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat.

This is why, this is why, this is why I'm fat. Hello there. It's Christmas edition of This Is Why I'm Fat because we've had our first official ultra Christmas sighting of something new and exciting. Okay. This is coming to McDonald's in the UK. And it launches next Wednesday, the 21st of November.

Okay. At a pound 29 for standard, 89p for mini. Pretty good sights. Pretty good prices. Okay. This is a special McDonald's Christmas McFlurry. What's in the McFlurry? Christmas McFlurry. What's in the McFlurry? Christmas McFlurry.

What's in there? Mini Malteser reindeer. Yum. So I didn't even know these were a thing, but I... Malteser reindeers? Yeah. Where have you been? Because they do Malteser bunny rabbits at Easter. Yeah, I've seen those.

Oh, yes. I've not seen the reindeer, though. They're like a little... Are there more types of reindeers? Whee! Maybe I was thinking the bunnies. Yeah, it would sound familiar with the bunny, but these are like teeny tiny.

Oh, okay. Remember tiny teddies? Yeah. Like that big tops. Okay. And they're like, yay! And there's like a little reindeer going, woohoo! And they're covered in chocolate.

So, yeah, but classically just a Malteser, but in a different shape, in the shape of a mini reindeer. But apparently they're hugely popular in the UK. So they've decided to make a McFlurry out of them. So standard soft serve, heaps of these Malteser reindeers and then lots

of chocolate sauce. But there's no green sauce or red sauce? There is like a red strawberry sauce over the top of one of the ones they use. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, otherwise, it's not very Christmassy looking, is it? No, no, it doesn't. Well, the thing is, would the McFlurry machine destroy the reindeer,

or do you think you'd be able to see the reindeer? Some of them would get destroyed. Some of them, R.I.P. would sacrifice themselves for the ultimate deliciousness. I get excited when Starbucks do their Christmas frappuccinos and you get, you know, dark, kind of like the cherry one. They've got cherry in them and, oh, they're so good. Yeah. Just don't look at how many calories each one is.

No, that's why I was like. Really bad. I enjoyed one once. I was like, man, that was, I feel like I've eaten a meal. And then I saw how many calories it was on their little nutritional thing that they are by law required to tell you. And I was like, holy hell, that was a fairly... Like half your calories for the day.

So the McDonald's is rolling out a full Christmas menu for different bits and pieces. They've got something called the Millionaire's Latte, which is a shot of espresso blended with steamed milk, a caramel biscuit flavoured syrup topped with a swirl of chocolate cream and a caramel drizzle. How do you get a caramel biscuit syrup? Good question.

A laboratory. Yeah. Add a little bit of biscuity feel to it. This is the UK McDonald's. So far. So far. Only the UK. So far.

Well, fingersingers Big fatty fingers Crossed This is why Fat This is why Fat This is why This is why

This is why Fat F-E-M-T-M So my parents As I said just before My parents are in town They're flying out They go away

Every Guess where In Australia They're going for their Wedding anniversary Second to Noosa Port Douglas Byron Bay

Port Douglas Not Port Douglas. Not Byron. Goldie. Malula Bar. Malula. Isn't that, yeah, that's right by Noosa, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, it's up by Noosa. Malula Bar.

Baby boomers love a Noosa. They love a Noosa. They love a Noosa. Why? Just warm and chill. Warm, chill. Yeah. Big beers.

Lots of nice shots. But I think the drinks are quite big. You know, when you get in a serenade, it's not about what the drinks are like, it's just how big they are. Does your mum say there's lovely, there's nice shops in Noosa? Yes, they've got lovely, lovely frocks. Summer frocks.

Go in November, get yourself a couple of summer frocks. That'll see you through. Lovely pair of cumps. Some new leather jandals for your father. Something dressy. He needs a new pair of walking. That's something dressy. Yes.

He needs something. He's got nothing to wear when we go out. We've got a couple of weddings he needs something nice to wear in January. So that came up. As usual, put my dad to task. He had to fix a couple of doors in our house before we move out, but he loves it. And anyway.

Did he teach you to fix doors? Did he teach you how to? Well, no. I know how to fix the door handles. Have you ever hung a door? Hanging a door is quite the task. Never had the opportunity. I've seen many done.

Yeah, it's not easy. He's just got the tools. I don't have enough power tools. I need to start expanding my power. And the skills. Well, they'll come second. I'd love to see you chisel a door and put some hinges on. No, no.

I'm too much brute force. I make too much of a mess. But my mum said, look, if there's time, because my mum's also reached the age not only where they go to nurse for a couple of summer frocks and something formal for your father to wear to a couple of weddings we've got in January. She's really into the genealogy. Has been all about the family tree and stuff lately. And she found out that one of her great uncles died in World War I.

Okay. Her mum's dad went to World War I, but he survived. And, you know, various families, as most New Zealanders do. You only have to go back a few generations and you'll find someone that either died or fought in one of the world wars. And so mum said, at this time, I'd love to go and see at the Auckland domain. They've got a cross out for every New Zealander that died in World War I. Jesus, the whole domain full of them? How many people was that?

18,000. You would not. So you hear that number and you're like, that's a lot of people. Yeah. That's especially New Zealand's population at the time. Yeah. That's a huge chunk of young men completely wiped out. And hearing it's one thing.

But when we went there last night and tried to find her great uncle's white cross, because they've all got the names on them and everything. Are they alphabetical? No, in the years they died. So if they died early in the war, they were at one end, and then they slowly progressed through. And each section there was a little plaque, and it said, these are the men that died in these battles in this year.

So we got there, and I got out of the car, died in these battles in this year and so we got there and I got out of the car and I put a video on my Instagram and I just got a goose bump straight away. It was to hear the number is one thing but then to see a white cross for every serviceman that gave

his life in World War 1 it was overwhelming. We walked around and there was lots of people there. And apparently, it's been there around Armistice Day for the last four years. So the length of the World War and every year they put out the crosses of the people that died that year. So this was the year

you could go and see all the crosses and kind of take in the whole thing. So yesterday when we arrived, we were looking for my mum's great uncle and found him pretty quickly. And this guy came and said, oh, is this a family member of yours? And mum had it all written down. She's like, yeah, this is my great uncle.

And he said, from today, if it's your relative, you can actually take the cross as a sort of a family memento. I mean, it's just a bit of wood. It's white wood painted. It's symbolic, though. But, yeah, that was the whole feeling of it. It's really symbolic that someone in your family did that. I would totally recommend, because I'd say over the next little while,

because after a while they said the ones that were left, because I mean a lot of people probably don't even know they had relatives that are there, that the schools, schools of the region are going to come and look at it and take ones that were on the roll for their school if their school was old enough. Right. That sort of stuff.

So I don't know how much longer it's going to be there in full effect. Well, you definitely want to get in before Christmas in the park because people will mess that up. Oh, they'll make a right bloody mess, won't they? When is Christmas in the park? That's in another part of the domain. It's the first weekend of December, isn't it?

So it'll only be a couple weeks. It's coming. That's in a different part of the domain. I was going to say, that would make Christmas in the park pretty grim. Yeah, it would. You had to sit between all those places. It would be, hey, they were at war for four Christmases.

You know? I know. It's just mind-blowing. It's one hell of an experience. Now we've got lime scooters. I know. And we don't know how good we got it. We don't know.

Well, that's the thing, seeing all the crosses there, but then all the guys that went and came back with like post-traumatic stress and all that stuff. Yeah, it really shook me, to be totally honest. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. A new story that is happening here in New Zealand, Silverdale Primary School on the HBC.

It's the Hibiscus Coast. Cancelling prize giving. Schools are not about ranking and sorting. What? That's exactly what it's about. But should it be? But that's just how life works. Life is.

You don't always win, do you? You don't always win. And the victories you do get, you've got to celebrate. You strive for success, eh? Yeah. Is that the vibe of it? There's going to be a reward at the end? The problem is, it's like the Kiwi Kids Triathlon or whatever.

Everybody gets a medal. Not everybody should get a medal. Only the winners should get a medal. Do you not think that people should celebrate their successes? Oh yeah, 100%. You work so hard, and you do in so many aspects of life, like the Olympics.

Yeah. Only three people get a medal. Oh, everybody should get a medal. But you know what I mean? Like, that's just how life works. But this is a primary school. Yeah, but you can't sugarcoat it. Yeah, but then you're just going to get into high school and not be used to it.

You're going to be dropped from a... Yeah. I don't think I was traumatised if I didn't get a prize. Maybe you were and you don't know it. Maybe we all were. Oh my God, am I traumatised and I don't know it? This seems like I could be getting some attention out of this. Caitlin, I'm traumatised.

I'm going to need Monday off, Tuesday off. No? No day off for trauma. I think if anybody's traumatised, it's Caitlin from us. That's actually a fair call. You take Monday off. Okay, good. So today's top six is if you're getting rid of prize giving,

the top six ideas to replace prize giving. Okay. Number six, eeny, meeny, miny, moeing the awards out. Oh, that's a good idea. So it's like eeny, meeny, miny, moe. There you go. Math. Math.

Good work. Great work on math. It doesn't mean anything. Do you go. Math. Math. Good work. Great work on math. It doesn't mean anything. Do you know about numbers? I know number eight. Great. Well done. Number five on the list of the top six ideas to replace prize giving.

Line the kids up in the order of tallest to shortest. Just to remind the short kids that they're short and that the tall kids that they're tall and the kids in the middle are nothing special. Number five on the list of the top six ideas to replace prize giving. A game of bingo for rewards. Oh, okay.

So it's like, legs 11. Bingo! Ah, Timmy, congratulations. You win the athletics award, which is ironic given that you play on computers every lunchtime and you've never broke a sweat in the whole time you've been here.

But those are the breaks. All right, next one. Number three on the list of the top six ideas to replace prize giving are sending out the awards after school finishes. Just like pop them in the post as the school shuts for the year and be done with it. You don't have to worry about anything. But then nobody knows who won.

No, you put it online. Oh, don't worry. Their parents will take a photo of them holding a certificate and put it online. Oh, yeah. 100%. So proud of this little trooper. What another great year. It'll go on the family newsletter.

Yeah. Ah. Number two on the list of the top six ideas to replace prize giving. A knockout type competition in the last few weeks of school for all types of events, like sports, academic areas. Oh, yeah. Like everything. And one child literally takes home all of the prizes.

What kind of competition? Like a wipeout? Yeah, so you know how you... Or a ninja. Ninja warrior. No, what's the thing that Bruce Jenner did? The decathlon. Yeah, like that.

It's like a school decathlon. So there's academia, there's sports, there's a bit of everything. You've got to do it all. You're going to get all the kids to change sexes. No, what he did earlier. Earlier, what he's most well known for in the 80s. And, you know, like a knockout, like, sorry, Timmy, you weren't better at maths than Wendy,

but then Wendy comes up against Susan in basketball and gets eliminated. And in the end, one kid wins every single prize. Right. And the number one idea, if we're going to replace prize givings at school on today's top six, prize taking. Just let the kids try and steal the trophies they want.

Try that is. Try. Because I'll booby trap all the trophies. And like there'll be kids walking out being like, ah, there's a bear trap on my leg. I'll be like, well, that just says that you don't deserve this year's English prize. That is today's top six.

FEM. If you were listening to the show before where I talked about taking my parents to the World War I Memorial at Auckland to Maine, I don't want this to sound like my parents are like military fascinated, but when they were up, we went for dinner at the RSA. Well, you only went because it's cheap. And I'm a member and and I love it, and it's a good thing.

And my mum and dad love a RSA fee. Oh, what did they get? What did they get last night? They both got lamb shank. Oh, yeah, it's a good time. Classic Raza meal. Good time. So we were there, and they were having the raffle as they do at the RSA.

They had the raffle when we went. Did we? Did they? No one won, though, because I got a ticket. They were two bucks. Were we went. Did we? Did they? No one won though. Because I got a ticket. They were two bucks. Were they two bucks? Yes. Five, two. They always have different sorts of raffle. Last night there was the pork raffle. That was $5

ticket. Okay. You get a big three kg pork. Right. Oh wow. Play that right. You get pork for ages. But the other draw was you put in two bucks and you can win 50. And there's 50 tickets in each draw.

So, you know, they're making $50 after they give away their prize money. So I went up, I got some money out when I got a beer, and I said to Indy, you pick the numbers. And she was like, alright. And I said to August, you pick some numbers. And August was like, I don't want to. I was like, well, if you don't pick numbers, you're not going to win.

I like that you're getting your kids into gambling at a young age. Gambling for a good cause. Sure. In fact, there's probably some gala. I hope I'm not getting anybody in trouble. August, if you're not in it to win it, you're not going to win anything. If you don't pick numbers, you don't get to do it. I'll pick numbers.

I don't want to do it. All right, go away. So that's my in public. All right, then go away. So Indy picked two numbers. I picked two numbers. And we went about our meal and kind of forgot about it. And then we were leaving.

Some guy's like, you can't leave yet, mate. We haven't done the raffle. I was like, all right. He's like, we'll do it in a couple of minutes. I was like, all right. We sat down. And lo and behold, we didn't win the pork. That's'll do it in a couple of minutes. Okay. I was like, all right, we sat down. And lo and behold, we didn't win the pork.

That's a shame. Okay. Love a bit of pork. But when they called out the numbers for the $50 win off $2 ticket, Indy won 50 bucks. The number she picked won 50 bucks.

Was she allowed to win 50 bucks? She was so stoked. 50 bucks as a kid is like a million dollars. I remember, I think I found $10 once as a kid and I was like, oh my God, you'm going to retire.

Yo! So she's like, that's my number, Dad. I was like, well, go up and get it. She's like, you come with me. I was like, yeah, actually, I probably will because I don't know Legolift. A six-year-old could win this. So I just walked up and they're like, how do you want it? So they had the option of taking one $50 note or two 20s and a 10.

And when you're a kid, what one are you going to go for? Two 20s and a 10. Because it looks like more money, right? You've got more money. Yeah. I mean, the 50 is nice because it's purple. It's a beautiful note. But we only appreciate the purple note because we don't ever get the purple note.

Yeah. And the red one? Oh. Oh. A hundred and ninety. That's nice. That's nice. So,

she gets her money and off she toddles and August is like, what about my, and, or just a classic August line. I was like,

you didn't get to, you didn't pick numbers, you didn't get anything. If Indy wants to share that money with you and buy you something, then that's up to her. So,

Indy's like, I'll buy her something. I was like, come on, I'm trying to teach her. You're trying to teach her how to gamble. You can just stop being so polite, that would be lovely for a moment. And she's like, I'll buy you something. I was like, come on. I'm trying to teach you. You're trying to teach her. I'm trying to teach her how to gamble. You can just stop being so polite.

That would be lovely for a moment. And she's stoked. She got home. She's like, Dad, remember that time I won $50? I was like, yeah, it was 10 minutes ago, mate. If I've forgotten about that, put me in a home. Yeah. But she was so stoked.

She's like, I'm going to tell the teacher about this tomorrow. This is my story, because they write stories on Friday. She's like, I'm going to write about the time I won $50. But the teacher's going to call Sips or something. Say that you've been taken as a kissy. The story's going to read, my dad drank two beers and I won $50. Old men were there. The teacher's

going to be like, what's going on in the Smith house? But off the back of it, I was thinking it'd be pretty cute to hear stories of maybe when you were a kid and you won something that you just thought

was the biggest and best thing in the world. That now if you won it, you'd be like, oh, okay, that's cool. Because would a lot of prize draws have an R18 or an R16

or an age? If it's gambling, if it's like... But I'm thinking like you enter, you know, to win an overseas holiday or something. Oh, no, I don't think so.

Would they have an age? No, there's like colouring in competitions with mad prizes and, you know, you can enter something that might win you a family holiday. And sure, you have to take your family. You can't be seven and be like, see you later, Mum and Dad. I'm off to Disneyland and I'm taking four of my best friends rather than you suckers. Okay, well, 0800 dials at M. We'll take some calls. You can text as well.

9696. We want to know what you won as a kid. Indy won $50 at the RSA raffle yesterday. Legally, we don't know if that was allowed. That's a grey area. That's a grey area. Let's just turn a blind eye to that. But $50 as a kid, that's so much money.

Some text messages in. Some of these are pretty amazing. Won as a kid. My grandparents owned a pub. And as a small kid, I'm talking six or seven, I used to play the poker. On more than one occasion, I won the jackpot. What?

Wow. Are they addicted now as an adult? I don't know. I don't know. We should laugh. I don't know. When I was six years old, I wanted an epic BMX. And when you're a kid, was there anything cooler than a bike?

No, not a brand new bike. It was what you wanted for Christmas. Even if you got a brand new bike for last Christmas, maybe not you, Megan, you're not really a bike rider, but the rest of us who are confident on two wheels. The minute you got a new one, you were just looking forward to the next new bike you ever got. All I had to do was colour in a fish.

I still got the bike of my parents. It was a legendary BMX. All the had to do was colour in a fish. I still got the bike of my parents. It was a legendary BMX. All the kids at school were so jealous. Some other text messages in. I won a DVD off What Now

when I was a kid. Oh my God. Even just getting the parcel from What Now would have been like Just hearing your name on What Now would have been I know.

That would have been prize enough, eh? So I had to draw an animal doing a human thing. I just found a picture of a cow dancing and traced it, and they said it was the most perfect drawing a seven-year-old had ever done on television. And I was riddled with guilt.

But hey, you won, so whatever. Ross, what did you win as a kid? Hey, Jan. I was in Aussie, and I managed to win when I was about 11, and managed to win a dinner for four, so for our family pretty much, and it was at one of the revolving restaurants, a seafood restaurant. Like a buffet, a banquet. Yeah, it was a banquet.

I had shrapnel in my pocket and I was, was like 10 or 11 and I bought tickets as we're walking through one of the malls over there and then got a phone call at the hotel the phone rang

for some reason back then there was no cell phone Ross is like an old mate's name as well they're like yeah g'day it's Ross there

you're like speaking hello hello yeah this is Ross congratulations Ross you've run a seafood banquet bloody beauty mate it was awesome it was like yeah and considering my parents are the most tight-ass people in the world oh yeah for them to get a free feed they were pretty stoked

dad would have eaten his absolute on the most expensive shelf i should get into those scotts frost eat them all uh r, thanks for your call. Jacob, your friend has won something just recently. What have they won? So she did a calorie competition for Hyundai or something like that. And she won a trip to Japan with the full accommodation paid, food paid and everything. And we had such a great time there. We went to Disney World.

You got to go, Jay. Yeah, she took me, Hannah and her mum. Wait, so her mum took three kids and only one of the kids was hers? What a brave woman. Yeah, it was so lit. She was so tired after the end. Her mum.

She was. She lost us in Disney World and they had to call us out on speaker. So, yeah, that was very awkward. What's that calorie competition? We had the heated toilet thing and everything. I always just used to pretend I was doing a number two, but

just sit there on my iPad on the heated toilet seat. I like you. You're my sort of kid. Yes. He's funny. You're my sort of kid. Yes. He's funny. You're funny, Jacob. You're awesome, dude.

All right, wait there, mate. What sort of colouring in competition's got that sort of payoff? That's nuts. For a trip to Japan, it should be original artwork. Don't colour in

somebody else's lines. That's very true. Jacob, thanks for calling. Holy moly. When I was a kid, I won at primary school prize giving. I won a bucket in won At primary school Prize giving I won a bucket

That had a ruler A pencil And a 1v5 Everyone was so jealous Somebody else said I won a BMX Because we were just Talking about winning a bike

And how that would be Like the ultimate as a kid Oh yeah I won a BMX And I got so jazzed On the BMX I started entering Heaps of other competitions

And three weeks later I won a mountain bike You upgraded Wow Upgrade What do youed on the BMX, I started entering heaps of other competitions and three weeks later, I won a mountain bike. You upgraded. Upgrade, what do you do with your BMX? I can picture this kid now, like you know when kids start riding mountain bikes but the mountain bikes are too big for them and they're like real leggy

and they go like side to side so much when they're riding the bike. It's a bit big for me, Dad, but I'll grow onto it. When I was 10, I won a Game Boy. Oh, that would have been so good. However, it came with no games. And my parents refused to buy me any games. Oh, that's torture.

Because they were too expensive. I know. That was an uproar, wasn't it? You never won. I won a Macarena competition when I was younger. Apparently, my Macarena was on point. When I went up to win, all I won was a Coke pencil case.

I was like, that's not enough. Rebecca, what did you win as a kid? I won a thousand chopper chops. What? That would not have been a dentist sanctified competition, sanctioned competition, I'm imagining. That would be a teeth killer.

I actually ended up selling some as well. Good. As an entrepreneur. Yeah. At school or online? No. So my sister and I and my dad and my stepmom

were out one night and we went into the Judy Free shop in Auckland and my sister entered about seven times and I entered about three and then I realised

that it said enter only once. But I won. I'm not going to police that. That's their fault. That's their... Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. So how many do you reckon you actually ate? I don't know, but I went through all the orange ones because they were my favourite. Oh, orange. Oh, yeah, no, I'm with you. I'll go cola first.

Oh, me too. Oh, yeah, cola and orange. I never had that flavour then. I'm not a fan of the creamy chubba chubs No Never been a fan No No

No creamy chubba chubs Ever No creamy chubba chubs I have watermelon I think I sold those ones Do you remember When the Spice Girls Released chubba chubs

There was five flavours They each had a flavour My brother had a bucket of them Your brother was so Into the spice I was trying to find a photo As soon as the Spice Girls Are doing a tour

I should definitely Try to find a photo of what our bedroom used to look like. We are joined in studio by the oof or inspiring Kata and Anita. Good morning. Good morning. I feel so plain in front of you guys. You would never look plain to me. You look like one of those glazed donuts you're definitely sprinkles at least

tell us about house of drag this is a new zealand show this is going to be on TVNZ On Demand. This is like really progressive for TVNZ. I'm a little bit proud of them. To be fair, TVNZ put Maddie on breakfast. They have a homosexual who can get on that. That's true. So tell us about the show. What's it like? I mean, because you guys,

this is your life. You work in a cabaret. We own a cabaret. That is my life. You work in a cabaret. We own a cabaret. That is my life. Yeah, we do. We do. It's called Kalootsie Cabaret, which is on K Road, a drag queen dinner theatre where your waitresses are drag queens.

www.kalootsie.co.nz. Ding! A lot of people would have been there. That's been an institution, hasn't it, for a long time. We did some really rough maths, and I obviously didn't go to school because look at me now. A lot of people would have been there. That's been an institution, hasn't it, for a long time. We did some really rough maths, and I obviously didn't go to school because look at me now. And we figured that about 100,000 people have gone through those doors.

Wow. I know. And only about 20 of those have left, so it's a bit odd. Don't look under the flower boy. They hang around. And over how many years? 22? 22 years.

In our 23rd year now. Oh, my years. And I'm 23 now. Oh my gosh. And I don't look a day over 23. No, I wouldn't have thought two such bucks and babes would have been, you know, possibly involved in the industry for that long. Yeah, so that's a lot of Don

singing songs, you know. How did it work from start to end? Has it all been finished filming or is it still in the process? It has finished filming. So we wrapped a little while while ago about a month ago yeah okay yeah and so people are eliminated each each week yeah quite scandalous how it all happened actually right so we're getting it week by week on demand on tvnz on demand a couple of episodes already yeah and new ones every thursday yes when you said getting it week by week,

I thought you were talking about something else. I keep getting week by week. What does the winner get? They get $10,000. Okay. And it's not the highest budget. Chorus sponsored the show, yeah. Thank you, Chorus.

Chorus, the internet. Yeah. The fiber. They get a TV and some free internet so they can watch all their naughty videos. They thought it was on brand because my knickers also have lots of bandwidth. Oh, very, very nice.

To be fair, your knickers occasionally crash. I need a reboot. Just like yours, often streaming. I'm loving all these jokes. These aren't jokes. The puns are the worst. These aren't jokes. It's strong. It's strong.

Well, Ketamine and Anita Wiggler, thank you so much for coming in. We can catch it on TVNZ on demand, House of Drag, the first two episodes available now and episodes every Thursday at midday. Thank you so much for coming in. Oh, you're welcome.

Now, it's not a secret that Fletch is a Grinch. He's not a fan of Christmas. He's barely ever here for Christmas in this time. Makes his family have a Christmas lunch early and often leaves straight after because it's the cheapest flight out of New Plymouth back to Auckland so he can go on an international

jaunt. We're having an early Christmas in December. I rang my mum last night actually. When are you having it this year? The weekend of the 7th. What does she say? She's just used to it now. Oh. She's like, okay.

The thing is, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They're all good. He had Fletch and his mum. Fletch is the perfect mix of his mum and his dad. I'm like, what do you want for Christmas? I don't know. And John wouldn't be bothered, eh? Nah, he doesn't care. He just probably enjoys the quiet, sitting in't care. He can't read anything.

He'd just probably enjoy the quiet, sit in his record room, listen to the Rolex dance. Exactly. Where do you think I get it from? Yeah, right. You definitely get it from your parents. So you've been a Grinch.

We've reached 100% Christmas penetration. And even Augie, who'd you say that you hate Christmas? She was very concerned. She was very concerned and upset. I'm always away, so I don't see the point of putting up decorations because if I put them up, only December. You've already got your tree up.

I don't see the point of having them up because I'm just going to come home and I'm only going to use them for a week or two. No point. But what's two weeks of happiness? I'm happy without them. He doesn't need decorations to be happy. And when you come back

you're like, oh yeah. No, when I come back it's January and it would be a chore to take them down. So after Christmas

penetration hit 100%, Megan said to me, Vaughn, do you still have the spare key to Fletcher's house? I said, I am one

entrusted individual, yes. Fletch die, I've got explicit instructions what to do to his computer. You need to burn the house down. Burn everything, baby. Burn the house down. Evidence will not be acquired.

So then she proposed to me that we decorate Fletcher's apartment. I wanted to spread some Christmas cheer and give, like, give you something that you've never had. You know? Maybe,

awaken something inside of you. Well, giving him something he's never had in that apartment would literally be one string of tinsel.

I've never, as long as I've lived in my apartment, I've never had any decoration up, ever. Are you, are you actually, that breaks my heart. Three, it's three years I've never had any decoration up, ever. Are you actually...

That breaks my heart. It's three years I've been in there, November. Yeah, I remember you moved in in November. Three years I've been in there. Oh, Fletch. I've never been home for Christmas. There's no point. You've been home in the lead up to Christmas. No. Well, I do now though, don't I? I do now.

So, we went to the warehouse. We rallied the troops around here who were more than cane to get in. Yeah. Get involved. Did I get let loose at the warehouse? It was like watching an addict in a crack pipe store. I assume there's crack pipe stores in addicts regularly. Sometimes they thought I was joking, but when you decorate, you go in, you know what you want,

you have a colour scheme and you stick to it. Silver and pink. Silver and pink is what we went with. Thank you. So, yeah, we did go to the warehouse. We found the perfect tree. Actually, they have heaps of Christmas decorations. Yeah, it was quite overwhelming for me.

I really enjoy Christmas, but I'm terrible at deciding things. So I just let Megan go ham on it. Yeah. Christmas ham. And yeah, we got heaps of stuff to then decorate Fletcher's apartment. So I unbeknownst to me,

I leave my apartment and go to the gym. And that's when we use Bourne's spare key and we went nuts and decorated Fletch's apartment. I then hid and Fletch came home and this is what happened. What the

f***? There are giant candy canes in my room. Make it as f***ing November. Oh my god, you put things in my plant. Where is the cat? Um Okay, I'm on board I'm on to go to my own house.

This is for you to enjoy. You want me to keep this until Christmas? Yeah. See ya. What you didn't see is that Karen was dressed up in a pink Santa dress. I wasn't so fussed until I saw that. And then I was like, okay, this is pretty cute. I said to everyone helping, I was like, no, don't put the baubles in his plant. And did you hear it?

He's like, you put stuff in my plant. Mind you, your house is a plant graveyard. Do you know Megan was actually upset that I kind of liked it? Yeah. Because you did an amazing job. Thank you. You can see the video. It's on our Facebook page, FBMZM.

But you actually, it was colour coordinated. Thank you. I mean, it was probably a little over the top than normal people would have in their house. I mean, I had help, but I do want to take all the credit for most of it, how it was decorated, because I set up a task force.

I gave them strict instructions on how to put up a tree. It's like Hitler, he had an army, but he takes most of the credit for what he did. Yeah, exactly. And you were running a very tight ship. Yeah. Before I came to work today, I emptied the cat's litter. And I was scooping it out and I was like, that's really sparkly.

And there was like a bit of the silver decoration of one of those presents in his poo. Oh, I feel a bit bad. He's eaten. Oh, what a face. Because I think some of them went under the couch because last night I heard him chasing a ball around. Also, you know you're going home to the trees on the ground. Yeah.

Most definitely. Kaz is doing a takedown. You can win the decorations as well because we're going to re-gift them because I'm not going to need them. AKA, in between the lines, I don't want these in my house anymore. We're packing down and you can win them.

Just comment on the video to win. Thank you to the warehouse as well. We're saying thank you to the warehouse. It is the perfect tree because I picked out all the decorations as well. And you can find all your decorations for your home this Christmas at the warehouse. It's tinsel time. They even had a hipster tree. Did they?

What's that? That's that one that says it on the table. Is it a ball on a fixie? No, it's the white stick tree. The minimalist. I like that one. The minimalist one. Yeah.

I mean, sorry if I forget which tree because there were like four of them in my house. It's the biggest party of the year. If you want to scream Friday Jams Live! All right, it's on Sunday, Friday Jams Live. Headline by Usher. Now, um... Are there going to be door sales?

Do we know if there's going to be door sales? There are tickets left, but... There's not many. I wouldn't leave it till the last minute. So get them today, Ticketmaster. All the details. A lot of questions, like, can I bring an umbrella or a barbecue? Things like that.

No. But definitely bring a poncho, because there may be some showers. Weather forecast is it's good one day, maybe a few showers later in the day in the next forecast. I mean, we'll get a better idea tomorrow. Vaughan, you've got some tickets to give away soon with Friday Flashback. Yeah, I do. I don't know how.

Have you picked a song yet? Yes. Do you have a tease? It's a banger. It's a banger? It's a banger? It's one of the artists and it's from 2001. Okay.

Now, MC for the night is yourself, Megan. Yeah. I don't get roped into this. But I was in Melbourne last weekend and I saw a lot of these artists who are going to be at Friday James Live.

It's so good. I can't recommend it enough, but I caught up backstage with my pal, Fat Man Scoop, who hosts it. Yeah. I'm just him saying. So he- What, gave you some tips? Yeah.

Okay. I caught up with Scoop. Backstage in Melbourne with Scoop. That's a pretty right to the point intro. I was waiting for you to be like, yeah. Are you saving yourself i'm saving myself okay i just had something to eat i'm saving myself when i get ready i'll be ready but you know what's gonna happen on on sunday right just by the way i'm mc'ing it and i need some pointers

okay so hit me with like how to hype the crowd. Okay, so first of all, when you're hyping the crowd, so you're going to do everything I do. Yeah, I can. I've got the glasses. I've got my glasses on. So what you got to do, number one, is get everybody on your side right away. Okay, so how do I do that? The easiest way to do that is talk to the ladies.

Or do I talk to the guys? No. Forget that. Oh, okay. Because they're going to do, the guys are going to do anything the ladies say. Okay. It's just human nature. Yeah. So get the ladies on your side immediately. How?

You're a lady. You should know what a lady wants to hear. Hey, ladies! Give me more than that. Give me a little bit more than that. What's up, ladies? No, say something like, there's one thing that you need to know that's very important. Yeah.

New Zealand has some of the finest women in the world. That right there is going to just, look at it. Oh, my God. Stop flirting with me, Scoop. I'm right here. Exactly. You find two. Thanks, babes.

You can put yourself amongst that. And then just after that, say something to the guys. Like what? You're fine too. You're fine too is like just throwing. An afterthought. Like it's an afterthought. Like guys, yeah, you're okay too. Oh yeah. Yeah, guys, you, of course you look like the humpback of Notre Dame, but you're fine too. Like, don't worry about it. Just forget about that. So you say something about the guys. You say, I don't know. What's your favorite thing about guys? Their eyes.

Their eyes. Oh, did you want something more like... No, I don't want what you're thinking. I just keep that because eyes is fine. We'll go with the eyes. There's another eye, but forget that. We're someplace with this we don't need. Like, forget the guys.

Let's just go on to something else. What if they start yelling at me? If they start booing, do something crazy. Like cartwheel okay no no you're a girl i'm sorry like a guy could do that girl um you like to take your shirt off on stage don't you why not that's what you're supposed to do you just get a bit hot and you're like yeah that's what you do you take your shirt off you have a good time we're with it. You have fun. I can teach you how to say kia ora. Like, you need to say, like, something Kiwi on stage. Yeah, what can I say Kiwi on stage?

You can say, sup, sup, bros. Sup, bros. Yeah, kia ora is our Maori welcome. Like, it's like, hello. Kia ora? Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora.

Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Right? Yeah.

Okay, cool. So we just made that a song. Yeah. But you're not going to get publishing for that or royalty. No, but I was on the track. No, you're not on the track. It's Scoop featuring the Goos. No, it's not.

It's just Scoop. You forget that. Well, it's lovely talking to you again, and we'll see you in New Zealand. Can't wait. Hey, say something to people who haven't bought tickets yet. You're a fool. How do you not buy tickets to Estelle, Next, Naughty by Nature, Genuine, Eve, Trey Songz, Tayo Cruz?

Scoop. Forget me. I'm just an afterthought. Little John and Usher, is something wrong with you? Get your sensitive behind to the box office or wherever tickets are sold, and you buy them.

And if you don't, then on Monday, you're going to be the one that don't know nothing about it, and then everybody's going to laugh at you, and then that's the end of your life. That's where your life goes downhill. Does that make sense?

Yeah, buy tickets. Was that good enough? That was great. Or should I just have said, buy tickets where tickets are sold? That's where your life goes downhill. Does that make sense? Yeah, buy tickets. Was that good enough? That was great. Or should I just have said, buy tickets where tickets are sold? That's good too. That's great. Friday Flashback! But we are gearing up for Friday Jams live this Sunday. We've got a whole hour of usher when we

kick off Friday Jams live coming up at 9 this morning. Yeah, Megan went to Friday Jams Live in Australia last weekend for a bit of a recce on how it's all going to work. Yeah. And you said this artist that I'm going to play was amazing. Ah, amazing. Usher's amazing

but it's not Usher. The more I think about it, I look at her song listings and I'm just like, my goodness me. My goodness me. I know. You're like, I know that one. I know that one. I know that one too. Oh heavens, I remember this song. It's wonderful. Well done, Evelyn Jeffers Cooper.

This is a great... Evelyn. Evelyn. Yeah, Evelyn Jeffers Cooper. E-V-E. She's beautiful and so nice. I always think if you're one, you can't have the other. It's not fair on everyone else.

No, she must be crazy then because isn't that that triangle? That's the triangle, yeah. Nobody can be the perfect triangle. Right. And if you find the perfect triangle, you've got to marry them as soon as possible. Yeah. So this song was off her 2001 album called Scorpion. Yeah.

And it also featured on the original Fast and the Furious. Yes. Wow. Because what are they up to now? Fast and the Furious 7? Well, no, they've branched off. Oh, okay. Because remember there was the Vin Diesel.

Yeah, true. Dwayne Johnson beef. So he's got a spinoff now of his character from the Fast and the Furious movies. It's the end of that one. But this one is perfect to listen to if you're trying to get one of those sub-10-quarter miles. Hey, look, I don't know, man. I live my life a quarter mile at a time. And other Fast and the Furious quotes.

Right. All right, well, if you want to win a double pass to Friday Jams Live, we'll give it right now to Call It 10. And one of the artists you can see at Friday Jams Live this Sunday is Eve, and here's her song, Got What You Need. It's your Friday flashback on ZM.

From man to world, from man to E-V-E, let's let you get it. I got what you need, so tell me what you need. I got what you need, so tell me what you need. Tell me what you need, I got what you need. Tell me what you need Tell me what you need I got what you need Tell me what you need I got now Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies Oh, they far

I got what you need So tell me what you need I got what you need So tell me what you need Tell me what you need I got what you need Tell me what you need I got what you need

Hey yo, this the only record in the crate The only worth playing Swiss Got screaming dog, you both gay and do what I do best Bitch, you know me and drag fit tight But that goes without saying See you stalling on the floor, what you standing for? Scared thug, can't enjoy your cash, what you balling for? Crabs that ain't got nothing to add, what you calling for?

Ladies, this one's for you Get your party flowing right now, baby No time to relax, trying to holler, get the tab. Yeah, he eat that, and if he acting cheap, then you ain't need that. Send a bottle with it, no sip. Get your teeth wet. I got what you need, so tell me what you need. I got what you need, so tell me what you need. Tell me what you need. I got what you need. Tell me what you need. I that now. Ladies. Come on. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Come on. Ladies. Ladies.

Ladies. It's Eve. Got what you need on ZM. Friday Jams Live Sunday. You can see her. Megan, you saw her last weekend. Oh, she's so great. And everything you'd want, you'd expect.

She's amazing. And we've just given away a double pass. Ashley, we'll see you at Friday Jams Live on Sunday. Congratulations. Double pass for you. Ashley. Ashley. Oh, hi. Sorry, sorry Friday Jams Live on Sunday. Congratulations. Double pass for you. Ashley. Ashley. Oh, hi, thanks.

Sorry, sorry, I didn't hear you. Yeah, that kind of ruined the whole, like, we're really on a roll there, the end of the song. We had the perfect tail out of the music. Yeah, the song was finishing. You just had to be like, yeah, pass. Oh, I'm so sorry. I am so excited, sorry.

Yeah. We got this. Yay. All right, tickets at Ticketmaster. All the details. If you're heading along, transport, FAQs, what you can take, what you can't. Probably take a poncho just in case there is rain. Your safety dad's warning you there'll be some precipitation.

There's all these forecasts like late Sunday and like Monday, Tuesday next week, there's going to be a huge like winter storm coming. Can that just hold off till Monday? I think fingers crossed it will hold off. It should be fine. But yeah, all the details at ZM Online and we'll kick off Friday Jam soon at 9 o'clock with an hour of Usher. Just a little bit of feedback

on the song. Someone said that took me right back to the grumpy mole in 2002. Feeling 21 again. We should have a pop-up Grumpy Moles in that Friday tune. Oh, we should do because Megan and I

were just contemplating during that song whether we had a can we say it? No, don't say it. An S-drop. An S-drop in us. An S-drop.

Because we're not like we're not 18 anymore. No, I said I was going to attempt an S-drop at home. Yeah. And then if you could. Just in case if it goes badly. Because she was worried if she did it,

it would make her get stuck. Oh, okay. And I tried, but my knees were like, you're not flexible. You've heard my knee. I'd be like, no, I'm down here for good. Yeah, yeah. At least they'd just be left for us

to knock a bottle of KGB over. Was that the trick? That's how low you had to get, eh? With your baton, yeah. Yeah. Oh, except I misjudged it once. I got a testicle. And I tell you, that wasn't, it wasn't all fun and games after that.

Now, there's been some research done. If you are unlucky in love, it may be your mum's fault. This is for guys and girls if you're struggling with your love life. Okay. I feel like our mum's being unfairly blamed here. It's basically, well, it's also because there's not a lot of data done for fathers just because there's that outstanding thing that mums have more. What you're saying is there's a deficit of dad data done.

Yes, a deficit of dad data purely because there's that outdated thing that mums are like so important in kids' lives. We know it's both, mums and dads. But basically, it's your mum'sums and dads. But basically it's your mum's relationship skills that she passes down to you. So how your mum works in a relationship you will learn. Right.

And you will continue on. So if your mum is unlucky in love. Right, so if you were growing up and your mum was at the Grumpy Mole dancing to Eve without your dad. That's in your genetics baby. That's you, baby. I'm really struggling, but God, I've just got this urge to hit the grumpy mall.

Get up on that table. So if your mum's unlucky in love, maybe she divorced or maybe she has multiple partners and can't find the right one. Even just the way she acts in a relationship, studies have been done that says that she will pass it on to her biological children, guys and girls.

Huh. But then there'd be people that are single out there and their mum's not. But then I'm the opposite because my mum's been married forever, like since the olden days. The olden days? Yeah, when there were like dinosaurs and black and white TV. Actually since black and white TV. The, it's black and white TV. The 1970s. Oh, yuck.

And I got divorced. Yeah, so that's not the same, is it? But those relationship skills are different. That's different to marrying someone. Have you ever said to Sade, you're so much like your mum? Oh, all the time. Because I get that too. Like I'll do something or I'll say something in an argument or something.

Yeah. Or even just the way you act. And he's like, you're so much like your mum. Oh, yeah. But you're like your parents. Yeah. You've got behaviours and everything like your parents. And it's not always the greatest thing to say.

Oh, yeah. I don't tend to say it like to try to get like, you know, when she's done something that's annoyed me. Yeah. I'll just say it like as an observational point. I'll say it to myself it like to try to get like, you know, when she's done something that's annoyed me. Yeah. I'll just say it like as an observational point. I'll say it to myself. What did you say? I didn't say anything.

You sound like your mum. I was just playing with my dad. But yeah, if you think that your mum like, I don't know, struggles with relationships or even just the way she deals with your dad is a bit full on, maybe you've inherited those traits. What you're saying is if your mum's a bitch, you might be one too. You danced around it there, Magoos, but you might as well just come out and say it in plain English.

If mum can be a real bi to the old man, then you might want to take a look at the mirror at how you're treating yours. So off the back of that, because mum's technically ruining your dating life then if she's passed that on to you, I want to know when your mum actually did ruin your dating life. We're not just talking about inherited habits here.

We're talking when mum's just ruined it. A lot of mums meddle, don't they? A lot of mums get involved, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. Because then you're like, do I keep this a secret from mum because she's going to get involved? When is the right time to tell them?

Just tell them when you send out the wedding invites. That's when you involve the parents. Hey, meet them because I'm going to get married in a few months. You put on the wedding invites,

you know, in the old days they used to write like Paul and Kath along with Steve and Barbara are pleased to present the wedding of their son and daughter

and the mum's like, you didn't even ask me. I don't even know this guy. Shut up, mum. You're ruining everything. Why do you have to ruin everything, mum? Alright, you didn't even ask me. I don't even know this guy. Shut up, mum. You're ruining everything. Why do you have to ruin everything, mum? All right, so 0800DARS.M. Give us a call or you can text 9696.

When did your mum ruin your dating life? Apparently you inherit your mum's relationship habits. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean your mum is married and you'll become married. It might be how they treat their partner and how they deal with relationships. You inherit it from your mum. Quite an in-depth study. It started in the 80s or something, eh?

Yeah, it's been going for years with heaps of participants. So we want to know how your mum's ruined your dating life. It doesn't have to be that you became your mum and you picked up all the habits off your mum and all that sort of jazz. Some text messages in on the subject. Somebody said,

would you class your mother sleeping with your boyfriend as ruining your dating life? Yep. Yep. If it happens more than once, I would. You'd never talk to mum again, would you? Unless it was Christmas and you wanted a present. That would be pretty hard to forgive.

It would be. Yeah. Especially if you would be. Yeah. Especially if you were stubborn. Yeah, and especially if you picked your mum over you because she's got something going on there. True. Stacey, how did your mum ruin your dating life? My mum's favourite trick to do when I used to take a guy home

to meet for the first time, if she didn't like them, she'd weld out her boxes of children's clothes she'd been knitting and ask them when they were going to give her potential grandchildren. That's naughty, Mum. That is a brilliant trick. And what would the guys say? It was always pretty awkward.

Oh, no. And how long had you been with these guys for? They'd be around a few months and I'd take them home to meet the parents. Oh, like, how long had you been with these guys for? Oh, they'd be, you know, like, around a few months, and I'd take them home to meet the parents. Oh, no. Did you ever warn them, like, oh, there's potential that my mum might bring out, like, baby clothes? No, I never did,

because it was always interesting to see if she liked them or not, you know? Yeah, because if my mum brings out the baby clothes, it's because she doesn't like you. That's what you'd have to, and then they... But then what a roll of the dice, because if you were seeing someone who was a little bit cray-cray, and your mum's like, when am I getting babies?

He's like, right now. I'm so kidding. Oh my God. Let's get these babies happening. Let it never happen. Stacey, thanks for your call. Some text messages, text messages in a couple, actually,

about stalker mums. Oh, okay. Mum wanted to see a photo of the guy I was seeing, and instead of stalking him on Facebook she logged onto dad's LinkedIn. What she didn't realise was that he had a premium account so you get a notification when someone searches your profile.

I got a screenshot from the guy saying why is your dad looking at my LinkedIn profile because we're not even in the same industry. They hadn't even met. You've got to do a background check. You would be the worst at this. 100. And like if you were a police officer, you'd be searching the database.

Oh, yeah. But rules, you've got to push the boundaries to be a good cop. Snooping on your daughter's potential boyfriends. Somebody else said my mum's a snoop. She's done this a couple of times. But one time she found out the guy's name and from there found out where he worked and then found an excuse to go to his work. So it doesn't say what he does,

but I'm imagining like it could be something like a mechanic and she goes, oh, something's wrong with my car. And then made it all out to be a coincidence when I somehow came up in conversation and then the guy caught on when she said something that he hadn't told her. Good one, mum. Good one.

Come on, mum, You're a terrible detective. That's basics right there. Somebody else said that my mum interfered with my relationship when we were starting to consider marriage. She stayed at my place for two nights. This is my partner-to-be before I was able to arrive. When I did, she said she couldn't marry me. My mum was too much and she left. We never spoke again. And I haven, she said she couldn't marry me. My mum was too much

and she left. We never spoke again and I haven't spoken to my mum for three years. Mum went full sabotage. Mum must have gone into sabotage mode. I hope she at least put on

that BC Boy song, Sabotage. That's a great song to do anything to. Fact of the day, day, day, of the day. It made me cough. It's one of the origins of a saying, fact of the days.

Oh, I like these. I always like these two. I always like seeing what the origins of a weird phrase is. So today's phrase we're going to learn the origins of is let the cat out of the bag. Okay. Always let the cat out of the bag. The cat shouldn't have been in the bag, really.

Well, it's a very literal origin, actually, with the cat in the bag. Okay. So the cat out of the bag, to use it now, would be like you've let the secret slip, right? Yep. You've let the cat out of the bag. Yeah, you've exposed maybe the hidden truth or the surprise? Yep. You've let the cat out of the bag. Yeah, you've exposed maybe the hidden

truth or the surprise. Yep. So the origins of the phrase, let the cat out of the bag, goes back hundreds of years. As early as the 1500s. And they had cats. They had cats. Cats have been around for a very, very long time. But there was a

common practice called a pig and a poke. And that meant you'd buy a pig in a bag. They'd put the piglets in the bag because the darkness, they were easier to transport. When they're in a sack, they were piglets and it would calm them because it's darker. And plus it was 1500s like.

They didn't really have. They didn't have trolley. They didn't have Peter. They didn't have Peter or animal welfare groups. They were just like, yum, I'll eat anything that moves. And that's why we extinct so many species. But the pig in the poke, so it was a piglet in a bag. Yeah. But some people, because of at the time many stray cats,

would put a cat in there instead. Oh, okay. And then it'd say, pig for sale, pig for sale. Whatever language they were speaking. Yeah. The Dutch apparently used to do a pig in a poke. Pig in a poke. What is?

Wait, I get the pig in a bag. A poke's a bag. Oh. The poke's the bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they put the cat in the bag instead and they'd be like, pig for sale, pig for sale. And someone would be like,

I'll buy you a pig. And they're like, there you go. Do they not check that there's a pig in there? See you later. And off they'd go. And the person would be like, fantastic. Off home for a delicious suckling.

What the? Let the cat out of the bag. And they'd open it up and the cat would come out of the bag and the person who was selling cats in the bag, their secret had been exposed. Oh, that's much like when Caitlin

when we were in Cambodia and she got those Pete's by Dre headphones and there was just a brick. Was that you? Who was that? No, someone else. Pete's by Dre. It looked like Pete's by Dre, but it was Pete's by Dre.

Yeah, because they just scraped the bottom circle of the B off. Absolutely. Yeah. And you put it on and you couldn't listen to beats. You could only listen to various people called Pete. Yeah. And you put it on and you couldn't listen to beats. You could only listen to various people called Pete. Yeah. Telling you stories about things that you didn't really care about. So, yeah, that's the origins of the saying,

let the cat out of the bag, because if you opened the bag and the cat got out, you would expose the secret of the man selling cats in a bag as pigs in the bag. Not pigs. Okay. And that's today's Fact of the Day. Fact of the Day, day, day, day, interesting. And that's today's fact of the day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. But it is right now your chance to win Summer Vaughan's clutter.

Yep, accumulate Summer Vaughan's clutter. I'm actually modelling some of what you can win today. I know, and it smells. I know, yeah, it's been in that plastic box for a while. I saw these Magoos that you grabbed these. I was like, you son of a gun. These are my faves. So there is two items. There's been two items every week, every day this week,

and you get to choose which one you want out of the two. We're just going to randomly pick a caller, and they can decide which item. I chose one of these items because he specifically told me he wanted to keep them. So do you want to explain what we have here? Yeah, sure. I've got a collection of retro rugby league jerseys.

We used to go, when I lived in Hamilton, I haven't done it for a while. If I saw one, I'd definitely buy one and add it to the collection. But when I lived in Hamilton, we used to go to Save Mart every weekend because we chatted up the old birds that worked there and they told us when the fresh drops happened. Yeah. That's what you need to know when the drops happen. Yeah, so we'd go in on a Saturday after the fresh drop

and we'd buy retro rugby league jerseys. And you have an entire plastic container. There's actually another plastic container of these at home. What are you wearing? With some other ones. Canberra milk. The Canberra Raiders, when they were sponsored by the Canberra milk in the 1990s.

No offence, but how did you ever fit this? Because this is real tight. That was real tight. It's quite slimming on you, babes. Thank you. Bright green is your colour. You get a small one of the old thick 90s rugby material, and it actually is quite slimming.

Because I remember when we played rugby at school, we had this kind of material, like real thick. And now you look at the All Blacks jerseys, and they're like microfibre, fabric, snowflakes. And that's three-quarter sleeves. Is that hindering your elbows? Yeah. I'd probably roll them up.

Oh, you'd probably pull them up there and they'd bunch of bits and makes the guns pop. But I really don't want to give those away. I would prefer we did not give those away. They haven't been opened for a long time because it's got that musty. And there's some teams in there that don't exist anymore.

I've got a North Sydney Bears. The Balmain Tigers. The Balmain Tigers are the West's Tigers. Oh, okay. Now, there's the Manly Sea Eagles, the Illawarra Steelers. Now, that is a classic.

Illawarra? The Illawarra St. George Dragons now. Anyway, we've talked enough about that. I feel like we've overly sold it. The other item that you grabbed, this is great.

I bought this for the builders. Why do you have this? And when did you last use it? We used it in that video where we did the Dad's Day recipes. Oh, that doesn't count. Okay. I've never for the builders. Why do you have this? And when did you last use it? We used it in that video where we did the Dad's Day recipes. Oh, that doesn't count. Okay. I've never used it then.

So this is a portable. This would be great for camping. The elements. Fletch, you do this every day. Shut up. See, I told you. It is. The portable elements.

I'm not going to say what you should do on them. Maybe if you put some knives on them, they could get hot enough to, I don't know, evaporate certain plants. Cut through ice. Reproductive organs between them. Cut through butter. Yeah, cut through butter. Yeah, that's right. Sweet.

But they're good for camping. Great for camping. Great for the garage if you need to heat things up for whatever reason. Camping enough. And you can't carry that in your backpack if you go for like a tramp for whatever reason. You don't go camping enough. And you can't carry that in your backpack if you go for like a tramp. Oh, no, not a tramp tramp. I'm talking like a caravan camp.

That would be worth quite a bit of money. When I bought it, I think it was. It was like 90 bucks. Did you buy that? Yeah, you could win that and sell it on Trade Me. Yeah. I thought you just acquired it. No, no, I bought this

because when the builders, when we had renovations, the builders wanted a hot plate because they pulled out the kitchen first. It wasn't great planning for me. They pulled out the kitchen and realised they couldn't cook. And they were like, oh, we don't have anywhere to bloody cook. So, what are we?

Hot plate. Hot plate. So, 0800 DARS at M. Right now, we need you to choose either hot plate or collection of rugby league smelly jerseys. Vintage league jerseys. Bailey, you're first through. Good morning.

Oh, hi. Hi. Which would you like? Well, I would be nice in just the camping element. You'd like the camping element? Yes. The league jerseys live. To see you another day, my wife's going to be stoked.

She's not a fan of all these League jerseys hanging around. Do you like League, Bailey? No. She doesn't. You wouldn't like the smell of these, that's for sure. Well, congratulations. Cash in the Clutter, Bailey taking away the camping stove. When we say camping, you must have a thing to plug into.

A PowerPoint. A PowerPoint. So, I mean, take a generator camping or you could take it to the, I don't know, plug in at the service station. Caravan. If you go caravanning or tenting, that would work an absolute treat. Sure. We should go up and see the sports station upstairs. I'd love a bit of bands about rugby league.

Probably. FVM, the podcast. FVM. Right now, it's time for last calls. And we're starting lasts today with Sophie. Good morning, Sophie. What's your story? I was just listening to the having to clean your house out thing.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I made my partner at the time clean out, I was trying to make my partner clean out his garage and he wouldn't. Yeah. So he went away on a boy's day for one weekend and I cleaned out his garage and had a garage sale.

But he came home early. What, during the garage sale? Yep, during the garage sale. He walked up the driveway, wanted to know what was going on because the garage was wide open and all his stuff was for sale. Real cheap. Just trying to get rid of it so I could get my new car in there. Wasn't impressed.

No. How much had you sold at that point? I don't know exactly how much, but we'd made like, I think we'd made like $430. Oh, is that quite a bit? Okay. And did you sell anything that he didn't want sold? I sold so much that he didn't want sold. Yeah, but you gave him a chance.

I told him, you didn't listen. Honestly. You were ruthless. You didn't want sold. Yeah, but you gave him a chance. I told him, you didn't listen. Honestly. You are ruthless. You didn't listen. I should have tidied it. How long did it take him to get over that? Still not over that. Oh, okay.

How long ago did this happen? Oh, it was probably about six years ago now. Oh, still in the river. Still present. Wow. Happy marriage. All right, Sophie. I'll wait there.

We'll be in a sec. Courtney, what's your story for Last Calls? Hi there. So my neighbour, I was playing with my neighbour and we were little kids about 10 years old. Yep. And so we made up this game. One of us would wait in the closet and the other one would run up the driveway

because we lived in a cul-de-sac. Run up the driveway, touch a tree, and then run back to the closet and switch places. And so on my way back from touching the tree, I got a bit bored, decided to run with my eyes closed. Okay. And ended up running into a letterbox. Right.

Yeah. So I ended up splitting my lip right up to. Yeah. So I ended up splitting my lip right up to my nose. So I split it in two. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. So I ran.

Like a llama. Yeah, pretty much. Ran all the way home. Massive trail of blood. And the worst part of it was I don't know how long my neighbour was waiting in that closet for.

So I never came back to hospital. I'm sure they would have got out eventually, right? Yeah, I'd hope so. One day. You turn up the next day with your face bandaged up and you're like, I can explain. Yeah. It really tickles me. I've been in here the whole time.

Courtney, wait a minute. It's funny what's a fun game when you're a cadet. It doesn't make any sense, but it's a game. But then she got bored halfway through the fun game. All right, Courtney, we're voting this week. Tux, what's your story for last calls? G'day. I work at a bar and, sorry, a restaurant,

and this group came in and one of the girls pulled me aside because I was serving them and got all their food sussed and she asked, oh, can you leave the aioli out because I'm pregnant and I don't want anyone to know though. Can you keep it a secret, blah, blah, blah. Okay. And so I wrote it on the docket, sent away to the kitchen to make, just to make sure it wasn't, you know,

make sure it was good for a pregnant girl. And then one of the staff members was sorting out their bill and what I had written on the docket came up on the bill that the whole family saw. Oh! Oh, no. Yeah, she was not impressed. She just walked out and the whole fellow,

luckily the boyfriend didn't see. Yeah. But all her friends were just cracking up at me. Oh, no. Because you go through, you're like, well, I didn't have the wedges. Who ordered the wedges? This is why you never pay the air bill split. Yeah.

If I was there, I would have been up there before the bill. Yeah. I have no idea why I wasn't there. But yeah, I ran up and she just gave me this evil stare. You said luckily her boyfriend didn't see. Did even he not know? Nah, well, no, no. She had just found out.

I don't know when she found out. She was like, oh, I want to surprise people, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, yeah, all good. Yeah, well, you did surprise them. Surprise! Also, that'll be $42.50. Oh, yeah. Because you did go on, Trey.

All right, let's vote the tribal council now for our favourite story. Can I just say, when I saw the name Tux, that we were going to record it called Tux, that's exactly how I expected his voice to sound. Yeah. So you're happy? Yeah, I'm pretty happy. Well, you get to talk to him some more.

Yay. Hi, Tux. Hello. Congratulations. You win today's last calls. Yay. Hi, Tux. Hello.

Hello. Hi, Tux. Get up, bud. CDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Hi, Jax. Hello. Hello. Hi, Jax. Hi, Jax. Get up, bud.