ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 19 2019

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

Vaughan got told off for making new friends, non sexual turn-ons and when did you mistake someone else for your partner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Anya, what time are the Royals in the Viaduct? Because I want to get a look. This afternoon, it says. Well, I need an exact time.

I can't just be in the Viaduct full afternoon. I've got things to do. What have you got to do? It's an age-old question. Very busy. You don't strike me as a royalist, especially not for Charles and Camilla. No, but it's my hood.

It's the Viaduct. You don't have to go far. I live in the city, so this would be great to see the royals just walking around. Yeah, right. They're great for the gram, too. Out there.

Just hang out your window. Just start yelling. I can't say that evenly badly. I can't. the gram too. Out there. Just hanging out your window. Just yelling. I can't say that evenly badly. I can't. No, I can't either. All right. Well, do you think you can find for me, Anya, some kind of itinerary? I'll do my best.

Stay tuned. That doesn't sound promising. That sounded half-assed. She's not going to try. No, she's not going to try. And then later on you're going to ask her and she's going to be like, couldn't find anything. Guys. Yeah. Oh, she's not going to try and then later on you're going to ask her and she's going to be like, couldn't find anything. Guys.

Yeah. Oh no, you're just... We're just on to you, that's all. Yeah, fair. You've got to remember this is lazy people asking another lazy person

to do something. We know all your tricks. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yep. Do you remember what you're doing? Yes.

The top six ways to get these Air New Zealand flights back in the air. Yeah, they've had to cancel a whole lot with... I got an email. ...Dreamliner engine problems and over the busy summer break.

I didn't even... You were affected. No, I'm not even on a flight. But I got an email saying that they've got some engine issues. Yeah. With Rolls Royce engines.

You're a shareholder or something. Ha hace engines. You're a shareholder or something. Ha ha. What? You're a shareholder. No. Why'd you get an email? But I like hearing someone bought a Rolls-Royce and it breaks down.

You're just like, ha, that'll teach it. You should have gone with a very trustworthy Suzuki. Well, I don't know if they make sure plane engines just strap a Suzuki Swift to the side. Okay, so you've got six ideas for new engines. Get these planes back in the air. Okay, Anya. There's a mystery day with Charles and Camilla.

Thursday, there's nothing on the Royal Itinerary. What do you mean there's nothing on on Thursday? It says Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday. The OTP on Wednesday night. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Saturday. The OTP on Wednesday night. Alright you lot listen up, it's story time. Alright, three news headlines for three interesting stories that are found online

and Vaughan and Megan did deliberate to decide which story. Headline one, cat uses up some of its nine lives. Headline two, Spider-Man turns up to school. And headline three, greedy landlord gives flat iPhone. Greedy landlord gives flat iPhone. Yes.

So, do you know the Spider-Man one? No. A kid took some white powder to school and he said when he licks it or something, it makes him feel like Spider-Man. And the authorities were called and the dad had lots of little packets of white powder at home. He did, he did. It's actually like we laugh, but that's really sad. Yeah. The kid was taken to hospital and he's okay.

Oh my God. But he's now also Spider-Man. But what was it? Yeah. Me. There's reports that it was Coke and then another report that it was heroin. Oh my God. But he's now also Spider-Man. But what was it? Me. There's reports that it was Coke, and then another report that it was heroin. Oh, my Lord.

Yeah. Not true. Dad of the year. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay, well, you know that one. So do you want Greedy Landlord gives a flat iPhone, which I'm surprised you haven't seen already in the news,

or Cat uses up some of its nine lives? Greedy, I haven't seen the landlord one. No, neither. Go for it. Lock it in. Number three, please. We go now to the UK, where the story is just loading

about a London landlord, a greedy landlord who, despite tenants who are paying £1,000 a month, he's left them living in darkness at their flat in Dalston Junction. Now, let me show you a picture of this flat. Oh, okay. That is a gigantic billboard for the iPhone 11 Pro. So he sold the outside of the building as a billboard space,

and so now it covers the windows and they've got no natural light. They have no natural light. They look out their windows to the back of a vinyl. I don't know what that kind of material is. Is it vinyl? Yeah, it's not vinyl yet. Yeah, it's a vinyl backing to the iPhone 11 billboard. Oh, my.

And their rent didn't go down at all. So they pay £1,000 a month, so like $2,000 New Zealand dollars a month for their flat. And yeah, it's not just, it's six flats that it affects. So it covers six flats. Yeah, it's a huge billboard. Wraps around the entire building. But yeah, the landlord's getting money from it.

The flatmate's getting nothing. Because if you were getting free rent or you were getting money from the advertising, you probably wouldn't mind, would you? Nah. Turn the lights on.

Probably still want lights. Like natural light. But then if you live in London and you work nine to five, you're getting up in the dark, you're going home in the dark. Only in the winter. This is true. In summer, there's a lot of light.

The sun stays up very late and comes up super early. Well, depending on how grey it is. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so obviously everyone's just a bit like, well, that's a bit stinking. Yeah. And now that he's done it once, is he going to do it again? It's just going to be a regular advertising spot.

You know? Yeah. Well, he's getting that sweet kachango and rent. So why not? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, if you're like me, after you do number twos, you have to, I would say 80% of the time, give it a little scrub.

Definitely 80% of the time. What does that say about your... Fibrous. Fecal activity that it always gets stuck. Oh, no, I'm Mr. Whippy at Run the Boa Meg and I don't sit still, so... What? Mr. Whippy. That is absolutely true like to... What? Miss that one. That is absolutely gross.

I'm not proud of that one. Your soft serve. No, I always put down a not always soft. I always put... Yeah. It starts as a soft serve, it ends with a flake.

Hard to... Hard to know what I ate that did that. But, no, I always put down toilet... A little... Oh, like a little... A little layer of toilet paper first. But that's more for the splashes, I always put down toilet paper a little, like a little layer of toilet paper first. But that's more for the splashes. That was the stuff, the flash, but a splash and the flash.

But also, I found it also drastically has reduced my skids. But that's a waste of paper. No, it's only a little bit. Okay, right. It's the amount I use wiping afterwards that's a waste of paper. I still, oh well. Well, anyway, this problem for me and for you could be over. There has been something invented that is slipperier than Teflon

that is being developed as a toilet coating. Okay. It's Penn State University. You might be wondering why. Well, they got in touch with a local scientist there because people are after ways to develop toilets that use significantly less water. Right.

Now, if you have to flush twice before giving it a scrub, then that's more water. And then you scrub and then you give it another flush. That's three times the flush as if you got rid of everything on the same one. So that's like three times the amount of water. And in developing world, in the developing countries of the world, this is a big problem because water is very hard to come by. Yeah. Clean water or, you know, like water systems.

So they thought, well, the main cause of multiple flushing is, as they put it, tenacious feces. Tenacious. What a great name for a rock band. Yeah. I like to imagine that, no, I'm not going anywhere. They're very tenacious. Yeah. But it apparently reduces the adhesion on the bulb by up 90%. Right.

This is the first thing that's slipperier than Teflon. But also can't be cooked on. slipperier than Teflon. But also can't be cooked on. It's different to Teflon. You might be thinking, well, this sounds like the ideal pan coating, but no, it wouldn't be for a pan. It's like a spray-on situation. Could it be for a HydraSlide? Because, you know, I love HydraSlides.

You might bloody skip along the pool at the moment. Smash into the other end. Yeah, right. So, yeah, this guy specialises at Penn State University in surfaces that things can't stick to. Yeah, right. That's good because, you know, aerodynamics, like everything,

because obviously if you put this coating on the outside of the car and it reduced drag, then you can be more fuel efficient as well. Yeah, something that would make you a lot of money if you invented. He's just like, stupid job. It's like inventing things that stuff doesn't want to stick to. What do you think of it?

It's just so handy, everything. Yeah, right. So he said he got this toilet maker got in touch and just asked a couple of questions. And he was like, all right. So let's get to it. 90% less water to clean than a clean, brand new glass sheet.

And that apparently is the gold standard of naturally. Hotels are the worst. Like they don't have toilet brushes, some of them. You're just like, what are you doing? Flush, flush, flush. Yeah, but they'd be gross, toilet brushes. You'd want them to be replaced every time. Every time.

Otherwise you'd go and see some previous guest's little particles. It would be part of the cleaner's job just to clean the brush. Shake it and give it a tap tap. Oh, there's more cleaners. I don't have a photo but listen to the description of how this worked. To test the different

surfaces, they had a ceramic coating, a Teflon surface, silicon, and the scientist coating. Then there was a custom-made rig that dropped real human feces sourced from three anonymous donors

onto it. Once falling, feces had settled on the plate and researchers released the platform so that it swung down like a trap door and watched to see what happened. Oh, my God. Yuck.

Grim, eh? Grim, yeah. And then, skwee. As it slips off. And apparently, skwee. And then, that performed best. So then they did another test, and this is the gents know what I'm talking about. Ladies, I don't know,

maybe, I've never really talked to a female about this. They then also tested it another way by then spraying the feces that was stuck on with urine. That's a classic. We don't really do that. It's like just hosing down afterwards. It's like hosing down the nightclub footpath after you've shut.

But then you're cleaning up somebody else's. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You know, there was a law came in earlier this year that you had to, if you were a landlord, your property had to be sufficiently insulated. Like just stupid crazy stuff like have a roof and stuff. It's PC madness. It's just crazy. Okay, tax cinder.

So that's not a problem. Because surely you want the house that you're renting out to retain its value, right? Right. You'd think so, yeah. Not all the time.

An Invercargill house, and now I can't even believe, the photo of this house, it looks like a house that you drive by, and I would say to my wife, that's your house, because that's a game we play. You play that, I do. When we're driving in the country and we see like a broken down old house, we're always like, that's your house, you have to live there. And then I say to her, you realise we're married, we both have to live there now. Yeah. With our children. But yeah, those houses you

see on farms that haven't been lived in for like 40 years and they're just like all the boards are bending and there's like a tree growing out of it. Classic Kiwi landscape. So in Invercargill there is such a house and the owners were fined $3,520

for failing to sufficiently insulate the house and also carry out necessary repairs despite repeated requests from tenants. Now, this house blows my mind, the photo of it. And after they received this fine, they sold the house. Right. The new owners are going to tear it down because that's how bad it is. Oh my God. Have you seen the photo, Megan?

No, I haven't. Like just the one outside photo, it looks like. Megan, because that's how bad it is. Oh my God. Have you seen the photo, Megan? No, I haven't. Like, just the one outside photo, it looks like... Megan, this is your new house. Oh, okay. It doesn't have actual, like, outside bits.

That's not even a window. It doesn't have actual outside bits. That's the official word from building inspector Papadopoulos. And you can only imagine how bad it is inside.

Good Lord. Like, yeah, that's pretty grim. Oh, you don't even have proper outside bits. Yeah. So I'm not going to come inside because I can only imagine it gets worse. If there was any kind of storm, I feel like you would wear it.

Yeah. And in Vikargal? Yeah, very cold. Oh, yeah. Very cold. Very windy. It's probably colder inside than outside. Well, we've all lived in one of those classic little New Zealand dens of freezingness.

What's the deal now? If your place is like, if you can see mould on the roof and stuff and it's all like gross, can you just complain to someone and you get money? As you should. Yeah. Oh, fair enough. You've got to do your part. It's no use complaining that it's mouldy, but you never open windows, for example.

Yeah, right. Or, you know, use the heat pump or extractor fan and just magically expect the mould to just disappear. But, you know, also if it's a problem with the house, yeah, good luck though. Well, you could complain to your landlord, Megan, but you just don't turn your heating on because you've got a $50 a month power bill.

Yeah, but who's laughing now? I mean, I'll probably get sick, but $50. It's so weird. You go out and buy real expensive shoes, but you won't pay for the heat pump. Yeah, that's how I afford the shoes. Oh, right, yeah. I don't turn on the heat pump. But I don't even warm shoes.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Today's top six. The top six ways to get the Boeing 787 Dreamliner back in the air. What a beautiful aircraft. Oh, it's a beautiful aircraft. Great memories. Great memories. I don't know why we always bring it up.

Stanky feet. It was my first time on a Dreamliner and it was trashed. You'll never forget that first moment on a Dreamliner. Nope. They don't have window shutters. You press a button. That's the kind of futuristic aircraft this is. That's what I remember from that first time.

And how does someone make an open-toed shoe smell so bad? It was just like a strappy, what kind of shoe was it? It wasn't. It was a strappy sandal. It was a bloody sneaker. It wasn't a fully enclosed sneaker. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't? It wasn't. It was a bloody sneaker. It wasn't a fully enclosed sneaker. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't.

It wasn't. It was an open-toed shirt. I don't have stanky feet anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore. That's Gran's remedy. No. But the Boeing, no, it's not the problem with the Dreamliner.

It's the engines attached. These Rolls-Royce engines. What a headache for Air New Zealand. This has been. Yeah. Well, they have to be serviced, but there's a backlog of engines that need servicing. So they've had to cancel a whole lot of flights. The twice-weekly seasonal Christchurch-Perth service.

Gone. Gone. That's for everybody who is mining in Perth but wants to come home to Christchurch for summer and then go back. Bit of a fly-in, fly-out situation. A couple of Sydney, Auckland-Sydney flights as well. They've actually got a comprehensive list on their website.

You can check it out. If you do have flights booked, they'll obviously help you re-book. But I'm just trying to think. Blue sky thinking? Yeah. Blue sky thinking, low-hanging fruit, blah, blah, blah. The top six ways to get those Boeing Dreamliners back in the air.

Okay. Great. Number six, we buy a whole lot of duck harnesses. Yeah. And we harness the ducks to the wings. How many ducks would it take? 4,000. Easier.

We saw heaps at Western Springs. Yeah. Geese as well. If we can get some of the big harnesses. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Depending on harnesses. Okay, gulls, anything basically

Okay, good Good luck getting those birds into harnesses They'll bite you James and the giant peach situation Harness the birds How long would they take to drag a dreamliner to Perth from Christchurch? Not a lot Not a lot

Couple of weeks Once you get those jet streams, eh? Yeah, you've just got to get high enough Yeah And you just keep whipping them until they get high enough. How high can ducks go? Because will they need an oxygen tank as well and a mask for higher altitude? How high can a duck get?

Yeah. Megan, are you Googling? How high can ducks fly? 31,000. Oh, that's not high enough. 21,000 feet. Well, they're going to need to get to 35. 21,000 feet. Well, they're going to need to get to 35. 21,000 feet.

That's phenomenally high. When they're migrating. Yeah. Maybe that's how far, not up in the sky. Oh, yeah. No, that's, no. What? 31,000.

Altitude. Oh, yeah. Altitude would be a better word. To ducks fly. Yeah. Okay. Ducks usually migrate at an altitude of 200 to 4,000 feet, but are capable of reaching much greater heights.

Wow. A jet plane over Nevada struck a mallard at an altitude of 21,000 feet. Oh, see, that's right. The highest documented flight by a North American waterfowl. Totally. So this is doable. This is totally doable. Wow. Flying along, you just...

Poof. In the windscreen. It's a duck. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get those Boeing Dreamliners back in the air. Get a Bentley, bruh. Should have got a Bentley.

Instead of a Rolls Royce. This is not a problem I'll ever face, for sure. You know, usually if you've got a problem with a Ford, someone will tell you you should have bought a Holden or a Vios Versa. Is that the rich person's Ford Holden? This is the rich person's version. you've got a problem with a Ford, someone will tell you you should have bought a Holden or a Vios. Is that the rich person's Ford Holden? This is the rich person's version. I should have got a Bentley.

Them's pimpy engines, yo. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get those Dreamliners back in the air. Tow them with the Airbuses. Because their engines are fine? Yeah, they're doing okay. And then, so you tow them. And then, like, if the Airbus is going to Brisbane but the Dreamliner's going to Sydney, you just whoop, let them go.

And then they fly the rest of the way. They glide the rest of the way. Like how a glider works. Yeah, perfect. You tow it with a sester. Yeah. And then you get up there and you unclip. Great, sounds great.

And you glide. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get those dreamliners back in the air. Fold a bunch of paper planes, salitate them to the wings, and then just catapult them into the sky. I'm sure that'll work. Yeah. It's all about the fold.

It's all about getting the good fold. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get the dreamliners back in the air. Fly them like a kite. Yeah. Wait until there's a really strong wind. Pull the string. Pull the string. Get them really high, and then you just let the string out

until they get over where they need to be, and then you just slowly let them fall down. That's how kites work. Easy. It's going to be a lot of string to get to Sydney. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well.

I mean, we can probably do it. I'm sure. Don't have a bad attitude about it. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get those Boeing Dreamliners back in the air, cable tie helicopters to the wings. Okay. Get them up and then point the helicopters forward

and they'll go forward. Easy. I mean, I've... Do you have to think of everything? Yeah. I've solved your problem six times over there. Yeah. And it's cost you nothing,

but that's just the sort of service they offer to the earth. Just to think you didn't make it as the new Air New Zealand CEO. It's ridiculous, isn't it, looking at it now? Their loss, really, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, they totally forgot to apply,

but you would have thought they would have asked just on reputation alone. Have they seen my LinkedIn? That is today's top six. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. If you're a current employee of McDonald's or have worked there in the past 10 years, this could be good news for you. Not great news for McDonald's.

Right. Because their workers could be in line for a payout because their holiday pay was miscalculated. For like, for the last forever. For a while. So faulty payroll systems are to blame. They're not the only place. There's a number of businesses that have been using this faulty system. Right.

So they have said they've actually done more than they've had to. I think they've said they have to go back six years. Right. But McDonald's are taking it back 10 years. Oh, that's good. So former employees as well. So how would you, if you were like, you worked there like after school or like part-time at some stage, what, do you just get in touch and you're like, hey. Well, they'd have to keep all their financial records, right?

So yeah. Yeah. So they're spending apparently tens of thousands of hours trying to figure out individual people's renounce, like, and then they're going to set up a website where current and former employees can go, type in your details and it will tell you. I don't think it's ready yet.

Imagine if that was, like what software is this? Because you wouldn't even know, like would you even look at your holidays? You just trust that your employer is using some software and have some people in the know and are doing the right thing. You just don't know though, do you?

Yeah. Like, I don't even look at it. Nah. I don't even know where to find it. Nah. Like, you've got to log on to a portal or something. I've never looked at a bracelet. Well, that's what I meant. They just be

popped into the too hard basket. Well yeah, because it just goes in your bank and you're like, sweet, free money. Yeah. And then you just wait another free money. You just wait another couple of weeks. You better work. Yeah, you just wait another couple of weeks and there's more money there. That's all you need to know. Yeah. I've worked somewhere where

there wasn't always money. They wrote you a check and you had cheque. And you had to run. You had to run. And cash it. You wanted to be first. That's how I knew that the guy who handed out cheques liked me best. He'd be like, can I have a word?

I'd be like, oh, he's in trouble. He'd go in and be like, I'm going to make it look like you're in trouble. Here's the cheque. I'm going to let you out and give you 10 minutes head start to get to the bank. Is that guy in jail now? No I think the gang just killed him That's the same place that paid you in meat Yeah every now and then

Give you some mints I mean it's nice to know that there are people Out there looking out for you Even if you don't look at your payslips. Yes. And maybe in 10 years' time we'll find out that maybe we were paid too much or paid too little. No, no, no.

If we were paid too much, I'm certainly not coming back. I'm giving the money. Just run. Leave the country. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. On the way to Friday Jams on Sunday, I drove. I took the Honda. That car is...

I think we were sitting on hay in the back seat. Oh, yeah, there's a bit of hay. Sand and hay. Oh, yeah, there's a bit of sand. A bit of hay. Yeah, it's got a few things. It's a workhorse, though. It's got a damp smell.

It's near the end of its life. Ah, no, it's not. It's got Honda. It's only done 230,000 k's. It's got lots more life in It's near the end of its life. Ah, no, it's not. It's got Honda. It's only done 230,000 k's. It's got lots more life in it. You've thrashed it. Oh, yeah. People see you driving in that and they're like,

that guy's on TV and he's got such a shit car. That's what they say. I've seen them at the lights. Say that. They turn to each other. I've seen them. You shouldn't worry about cars. It goes.

Yeah. Did cost me a bit last week to get another war on a fitness, though. Weren't you saying that Rove drove a real, like a hairdresser's RAV4 for like forever? We were talking about cars and have you been paying attention when Rove was on and he said yeah, he only just got rid of his RAV4 like four years ago and he'd been driving it for 20 odd years. Just not his bag getting a flash car. Nah.

Because he could afford one, eh? Because he'd be like real rich. Yeah. You're an everyday person. You're just like, Rove, maybe he just liked being confused for a hairdresser

on their way to course in 2002. So, no need to replace the Honda because it could still get the ladies going. Well, to be fair, it did,

it did, Megan, didn't it? No, not me. On the way to Friday Jams, you were adequately impressed. Oh, you were screaming. Yeah. I saw a park on the opposite side of the road, but traffic was busy. It was full in all lanes.

So, I said, I want that park, so I just turned into oncoming traffic. And they obviously stopped. And tooted. I went beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Pulled a U-turn. And then I was like, perfect.

We're going to get that park. Then, so Caitlin's already, like I've taken power, taken control of a situation. One man in his car versus multiple cars. Yep. And ripped a Yui. Yep. And then in the next chapter of complete white man arrogance,

I ripped a parallel park. But I did that thing where I put my arm, rather than using the mirrors, I put my arm around the chair beside me, looked over the shoulder and just went, and then parked way off the curb. That's how I do a parallel park. Parked way off the curb. You've got to put your arm up. But that was putting the arm up.

Producer Caitlin, it was putting the arm up behind the passenger seat that really got you going. I can't explain it. And then also when I was looking at the arm, I was like, oh, this is a turn on. And then I saw that it was Vaughn. I saw his face. I saw the arm was connected to Vaughn.

Why did I say that out loud? And then obviously Vaughn took it from that and had the biggest head. You said when I pulled the Yui and made the car stop, you're like, that was like quite hot, how everything, you just made everybody stop. It was a real power. I mean, it was an arrogance.

Total arrogance. And then the arm behind the thing. But it could be anyone. I don't know what it is. It's just that like, and even when they take their seatbelt off, if you're like parking, I know that's like illegal. No, it's not. But just in the last bit, when you take the seatbelt off if you like parking. I know that's like illegal. No, it's not. But just in the last bit,

when you take the seatbelt off and you just like get... It's not illegal to not have a seatbelt on when you're reversing. You don't have to have a seatbelt on when you're reversing. Yes. We've discussed this before. That's a weird rule, yeah. Because that was one of my questions in my oral exam. Because I was in a room of like 10 people

and they'd used all the easy questions on everyone else and I was like, I've got no idea the three times you're not allowed to wear a seatbelt. Pregnant, reversing, if you're eating McDonald's. I can't remember the other one. I can't remember. No, it's not that. Yeah.

But if it's, I mean, usually if it's anyone else, it's quite hot, but it was born. We've got a long straight driveway and lately I've been backing down it. See, we grew up on a long driveway. It was narrow, and I love reversing. I'm really good at it. Because I remember Navy Boy had an Evo, a red Evo that I rode around in, and when he reversed, he put his arm out in the back. When you're in the passenger seat, you're like, yeah, okay.

It's good stuff. Win, win, winny. Because that's how it sounds. It sounds like you're going real fast when you're in reverse and it whines yeah so obviously producer caitlin that was that was vaughn and it wouldn't matter who did that it's a non-sexual turn on for you yeah i mean like yes fletch if you did it and then i'd say that who the arm was connected to. But yeah, I don't know. I can't explain it

but I like it. Right, okay. A lot. A lot. Especially if I'm in the front seat because it's like they're putting

their arm around me. Yeah, so I'm quite lonely. But see, that's almost a sexual term. So I'm quite lonely. I'm finding just, you know, arms around passenger seats,

you know, quite hot. Stop m-ing. Sorry. Okay, so we want to open up the phone lines this morning. Do you have, like, a non-sexual turn on? Because I find, you know, I find organisation very hot. You're like a clear file.

Yeah, I love my, well, I just love organising. Like a printed itinerary. Well, no, because, you know, TripIt is my new favourite app. Oh, yeah. It's one of my favourite apps where you put all your holiday itineraries in. Yeah, right.

Oh, and it's just, oh, it's so organised. I'm so organised. I love it. I just love it. And when people are organised, it's such a turn on. Non-sexual turn on.

Right. Oh, come on, that's not as weird as putting your armour in a seat, Caitlin. That's weird. I mean, I understand that one. I don't quite get the organisational one.

I don't think I've got any non-sexual. No, neither can I. Do I? Yours are just all sexual. Well, just the normal things that I find attractive. But what gets you really jazzed that's not a sexual thing? Or are you just making everything sexual? I don't...

No, just all the normal things. I can't think of something that's like... The smell of a crock pot, but that's just because I'm... It's just more because I like eating. I was just trying to think of it. No, that's a non-sexual turn on.

The smell of a crock pot when you come into the house. Or like when they do chores, that's, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Guys need to know that more too as well. That's the... Yeah. Yeah.

And like cooking in the kitchen. Does that work for you all the time, does it? Do the chores and then... No, no, no, but it's always like, if you do it when you haven't been asked, then it's unexpected. Yeah. It's always perceived well.

Do you know what, like, reverses that? Is when you list everything afterwards and you're like, hey, here's what I did today. I did the vacuuming, I did this. And then you would expect a medal. That kind of undoes it. Yeah, so don't say that. Just do it and don't say anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, I'll wait until you're done. I don't expect a medal. I just want sex. And I'm sitting and not getting a medal for that. Maybe a participation ribbon. So it was Vaughan putting his arm up on the passenger seat in parallel parking that really got Caitlin excited.

Non-sexually. Non-sexually. Yeah, we're talking about your non-sexual turn on. So things that people do that you're just like. Yeah, good stuff. I like that. I like that. That sounds, yeah, good stuff. I like that. I like that. That sounds,

okay, sure. Getting a lot of text messages and calls. A lot. You thought it might have been a weird topic. At the supermarket checkout when people load their groceries

on the conveyor belt from biggest items to smallest items. Ooh. No, you've got to compartmentalise them like the cold stuff. Yeah, you've got smellies with you. There's produce. That's my thoughts as well. got to compartmentalise them. Like the cold stuff. Yeah, you've got smellies with you.

You don't want to... There's produce. That's my thoughts as well. Boxes. You package them as they'll be... You put them on the compartment as they'll be packed. Meats together. Sometimes the big things don't go together.

You put your toiletries or your, you know, chemical stuff together. You don't want those mixing in with your meats. Yeah, exactly. But again, it's organisation. Whatever gets you going. A lot of calls. Let's take some now. Ten, what are your non-sexual turn-ons?

Hi there. Pretty basic, but I like someone if they can click their fingers. But you wouldn't be like if you were out at a restaurant and a guy clicked their fingers. Oh, no, no, no. Not in a rude way, just as like you're telling a story and a guy clicked their fingers. Oh, no, no, no. Not in a rude way, just as like you're telling a story and you can click your fingers.

I can't click my fingers, so I think that might be what it is. Right. So a guy does that. You want what you don't have. So even if you just saw somebody just in public that you didn't know

and they did that, you'd just be like, yep. You're pretty cool. Brilliant. Thanks, YouCool10. Ali. Thanks for your call, Ten. Ali, what are your non-sexual turn-ons? I love fresh linen.

Good, like, clean sheets. Oh, yes. There's nothing better than getting in when the sheets are fresh. What are you doing, Vaughan? I'm counting. Why? Until, how long it is until Fletch says something about sheets. Oh, yeah, I know, too.

What? What am I going to say? You're always going to... Sheridan. Yes. I'm a nice Sheridan. Anybody mentions anything to do with bedding, I start counting and Fletch never gets...

I never get past 10. Yeah. Sheridans have got such a high thread count. Well, they do have a high thread count. Ali, and you know what? Ali gets it, don't you, Ali? High thread count, the better one, I get it. Yeah, see?

There you go. Yeah. I mean, you've got your favourite brands, that's absolutely fine. Divya, what's your non-sexual turn on? Oh, when I see a really thorough, colour-coded, well-labelled Excel spreadsheet. You know what? Quite a few people have messaged in that it's a lot to do with Excel spreadsheets or like a beautifully formatted Word document.

Yeah. I think it says a lot about a person. Because did you know that you can get them to add up automatically? Yeah. That's what she's talking about. Format the cells. Oh, my God. Divya's got to go to work.

You don't want to get her going. Oh, brilliant. Uh-oh. You've done it. I know that giggle. Divya, thanks for your call. Olivia, your non-sexual turn on? For me? Oh, brilliant. Uh-oh. You've done it. I know that giggle. Divya, thanks for your call. Olivia, your non-sexual turn on?

For me, it's watching my man cooking, especially in the morning when you first roll out of bed. It's like, okay. Right. Okay. And then watching him drive a manual because a lot of people don't drive manuals anymore. So watching him drive a manual, especially like he's got an off-roading manual. So it's quite fun.

Oh, he's really crunching. You shift him there. He's shifting it into second and then into third and then into fourth. Oh, don't even go there into fifth. This is a whole other level. Amazing. Olivia, thanks for your call. That's all right.

Thanks, guys. Some other text messages in when someone whistles with their fingers. Oh, yeah. Oh, you can do that. I can do that. It's very, very loud. It's annoying because it's loud, yeah.

Someone that can do... No, I can't do it. Someone that can do a planche. A planche? What's that? What is a planche? Oh, it's that thing where you lift yourself up just using your arms, but like you're lying flat on the ground and there's like bars

and you balance your body. Yeah. I just thought of another one. You know when you go to a Thai restaurant and they have those carrots and they make something out of it? Carrot flowers or... Carrot flowers.

Wow. Because I'm just like, that is so talented. How do they do that? Because of their finesse. Yeah, their finesse. With like a carving knife. Exactly.

Yes. Like a steady hand. It's a non-sexual turn on, Megan. It's allowed to be a bit different. I was always surprised When my dad decorated cakes Everyone Now I'm thinking about it

People probably did find that A little bit of a He had the Kiwitahi community Absolutely buzzing With his cake decorating He could get that That almond icing So smooth

But rough hands I can see It was confusing for ladies. Christine was like, hands off my man. Yeah. He's mine. He's decorated my cake. Yuck. That's your mum. That's your mum. Yuck.

No, I mean, you're never going to be able to eat an almond icing now. Fine, they can do what they want. They're adults. I just wish I hadn't sexualized my mother like that. Yeah. I'm the bad person here. Yeah. Somebody said, I work at a place next to a service station that hires out trailers.

And when I see someone nail reversing the trailer back in when they bring it back, I get a little tingle. Yeah. That's good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, because it is hard to reverse a trailer, isn't it? I haven't really done it much. I don't think I've done it ever. Oh, I can reverse a trailer.

Yuck. Yuck. Yeah. I just had this real sexy thought on my head of someone reversing like a boat trailer or something. And then you just ruined it. I'll tell you what, if you get aroused by backing of trailers, you go down to a boat ramp. Yeah. Because then they

sometimes there's something quite there's a lot of sexual energy and they back the trailer and then somebody else like rams the boat on oh yeah and then there's

like a dainty back it's like and then someone just comes in and they're like bam and at least it's not as sexy when they have to use the winch

it's not as sexy no when they just I never want to see those visuals again, ever. When they ram a Heinz Hunter onto the trailer. At least there's some water for you to cool down. Yeah. Oh, splashing about and stuff.

And then the stink of fish. Yuck. The whole thing. I'd imagine you'd get the trailer stuck in the sand. Me? Yeah. I'd only do a concrete boat ramp. Only amateurs would do sand, right?

Silly. Yeah, silly people. Oh, but that would be hot if someone backed it into the surf and they rode a wave in on the boat trailer. That'd be, because then they're using the motion of the ocean. I've tuned out, because I don't want to hear You talking about What you find sexy It's really

I did a little Bomb in my mouth And I saw that Okay It's that That boat That perfectly timed Because it's

The thruster on that You've never done that before Have you What Driven a boat Yeah put it onto a trailer Have you done that I have but I was really scared

Oh well I've put a jet ski onto one of those plastic You know those things? Those pontoon things That was fun Just like vroom And putting it up onto that Like mounting it Yeah ooh

With the jet ski Anyway Real cool Next on the show Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far And it's all thanks to Spark Our primary sponsor Do you love free data?

Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. So millennials apparently are ruining Secret Santa, and it's because Secret Santa in the workplace is giving them major anxiety. We're an anxious bunch. 35 days away from Christmas. Oh my God,

it's almost a month. There will be a lot of Secret Santa planning already. Yeah. Like a lot of Christmas parties will start happening

and weekends to come as well. We've done Secret Santa at our cafe. We've like set a limit of 20 bucks. See, I like when there's a limit.

You have to set a limit, right? I think you have to, but then this is also what's making millennials anxious about Secret Santa. And I've pinpointed why I don't like Secret Santa. It's

because of this. So millennials have a fear of being called stingy when they're doing Secret Santa. This is the thing. It starts off secret, but it always gets revealed in the end. Everyone's like, how was my Secret Santa? I never tell them. I know I never tell, but I also don't care about being regarded as stingy.

Yeah, because it limits 20. I always end up spending more because I don't want to be seen to be a stinge. You do this. Whereas I go the other end, I'm like, I'm going to mess with this person something terrible. Yeah. Not in a bad way, but just in a, like, I'll just get a silly present, something that they wouldn't

expect. And then I'll shut up. I will never tell anyone who my secret Santa is. But I take presents so seriously. I'm not really good at, like, stupid presents. And then I get panicky. I'm like, what can I get for 20 bucks? Nothing. I know you've spent a lot of money.

You've spent extra on people when they've been your secret Santa. Yeah. And I'm like, what are you doing? Because I get anxious about it. And then they'll be like, oh, that's a crap present. Megan gave me a crap present. Why are you jumping into doing it? Like, are you doing? Because I get anxious about it. And then they'll be like, oh, that's a crap present. Megan gave me a crap present. Why are you jumping into doing it? Like, are we doing it here this year?

It's not. I don't know. We haven't drawn them out yet. Everyone's shaking their heads. No, I don't reckon we bother. So why don't you want to do it? Because you're already doing one at the cafe. Yeah.

Why don't you want to do it? It's too much admin for you. Well, it's just... You'd like the cash equivalent. Yeah, I'd like the cash equivalent. So if you draw Vaughn out, just give him $20. Oh my God, can I just be your secret Santa? I'll just give you $20.

I'd be happy with $20. Yeah. Or let's just not do it. And then if everyone's going to do that, just keep your $20. Yeah, just cancel it out. Nana Millennial, how do you feel about Secret Santa? Do you have this millennial anxiousness? I do.

And also, like, it's such a spinny time of year. Like, we should just do it in June. Like a mid-Christmas Secret Centre. Yeah, because, like, that's two Subway sandwiches, you know. Like, $20 is a lot of money. You know, I reckon we just pocket that and we just have a hunky-dory time together. In the future, two Subway sandwiches is how we measure length.

We don't measure that as a finance. Because I don't know the Subway price index, and they vary depending on which mate. It's about $10 to $11 for a footlong. Yeah, but it depends on your mate. And if you're getting a specialty sub. That's a good idea, though. You could just do like a food voucher, like a Subway voucher,

or a countdown voucher, because then I can get chocolate or lollies. That's true. That's a boring gift, isn't it? Oh my God, is it? Yeah. Caitlin, how do you feel? I'm anti-plastic, as you guys know, and lots of the times it's always just junk that you get

and you never want and you just chuck it out. If I get you, I'm going to give you four rolls of Glad Wrap. Don't you dare. Don't do that. Get her some Glad Bags. Don't do that. Get us some Glad Bags. Don't do that, Vaughan. Go to Gilmore's and get one of those big rolls.

Yeah! A catering size! It's like a metre wide and a million metres long. It's just all junk. You end up putting it in the bin or not using it. I'll, whoever I get,

is going to get Fred Rangeggs and some grapefruit off the tree. That's lovely. I would love that. Stingy. Keeping my money. Mind you, those chickens aren't cheap.

They are. You don't tell people that. You don't tell people. Yeah, right. Yeah, those chickens aren't cheap. It's like eight bucks for a dozen, right? I'm not paying you to bring any eggs. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean that. Oh, yeah, good. aren't cheap. It's like eight bucks for a dozen, right? I'm not paying you to bring in eggs. Oh, no, no, no.

I didn't mean that. Oh, yeah, good. Okay, good. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We should talk about this. I've invented a new recipe.

I don't think you have. You've just put sauce on an old recipe. Shut your face. No, I'm going to try cheeseburger nachos tonight. Cheeseburger nachos. Vaughan reckons he has made the ultimate nachos. Cheeseburger nachos. Of course you have, but did you put it in your MyFitnessPal?

Oh, shit, Megan. Absolutely not. No way. I don't need to feel bad about it. Nachos always need half a block of cheese. Yeah. So you know it's bad. And sour cream.

Oh, my God, sour cream. Did you put sour cream on? I didn't, but there's room for it. You don't get sour cream in a cheeseburger, do you? No, you don't need it. Okay, well, I'll report back tomorrow. Carry on. Well, maybe tomorrow, if you approve,

I'll give the recipe out for cheeseburger matches. Okay, all right. Okay. So, and the more interesting, there's no flavour in the mints. I'll just say that. I'll just say that. Well, then you let the mints be its own flavour, onions, etc. You've got to flavour the mints.

You could put, but I didn't need to. Okay. Nothing. Okay. Nothing. Anyway. Oh, my God. Oh, I wonder if something I did was the secret to its success. Tell me later. Tell you later.

Okay. Tell you more. You can't give out your secret recipe, Megan. So we're at our house. Not our house, not the three of us. Because we don't live together. Where I live. Secluded.

Like. We're currently undergoing what was sold to me as minor renovations. As someone who saw the minor renovations firsthand yesterday. It's not minor. She's no minor operation. It's not minor. So part of the minor renovations. Hang on, what was Megan doing at your house?

Why wasn't I invited? We were having major fun without you. So much fun. Did you have a pool party? You did not tell me. Yeah, we had a swim in the pool. I had some cheeseburger nachos. She had cheeseburger nachos.

So rude. Nah, what did you do? You left a bag in my car. Yeah, I picked up my stuff. Oh, right. I drove away with it. Aunty got drunk at Friday Jams. No, I was the sober driver.

Thank you very much. Mr. Toyboy had a few drinks. I think we'll talk about that after. So, yeah, part of the minor renovations is the complete reflooring of the house. Just minor. Just minor. It was just a little.

Minor renovations. Little something. And so carpet, new carpet. Yep. And new flooring. Yep. So we've had the people around measuring and stuff. Okay.

And there's been a bit of light Star Wars chat. Who with? The flooring people? With the flooring people. Okay. The Mandalorian chat. Is it Mandalorian? Well, no, no, no, because that wasn't, that's, this was pre,

this was just general, because I was wearing headphones and, oh, what are you listening to? And I said, oh, a, no, because that wasn't, that's, this was pre, this was just general, because I was wearing headphones and, oh, what are you listening to? And I said, oh, a podcast about Star Wars. And that kind of gave us a bit of Star Wars chat. But yes, I really kicked off. Because the installation happened yesterday. The light Star Wars chat was during measurement. But then yesterday during installation, we were all there,

not Sade, me and two flooring installers and um i said mandalorian this week and it kicked off um the star wars found each other oh did we what we had great chat about like what's the best prequel and were you let down with the um the last jedi and we're looking forward to about The Rise of Skywalker and then there was like... Did it take you ages to get a girlfriend too? All three of us married with children. Oh, there you go.

So I came out and Shardé's like, what were you talking about in there? And I was like, Star Wars. And she's like, stop talking to them. The carpet's got to be in. We want to move back into the rooms and start living in this one room. And I was like, but it's good

to chat. You don't like talking about Star Wars. Because the reason I went back out to the room was to get my iPad to show them the Star Wars game I've been playing. And she's like, where are you going now? I picked up my iPad. She's like, where are you going now? I picked up my iPad. She's like, where are you going now? I was like, I'm going to go and show them my Star Wars game. She's like, no, you're not.

Stop. Leave them alone. You've talked too much already. They're here to do the job. They're probably charging you by the hour. They're not? It's not like that. She's like, you're costing them. Every minute you're in there is a minute longer they're gonna have to work

yeah am i allowed to go and show my friends my star wars game she's like make it quick have you told them you're going to i was like yeah i told them what's going to show this it's not like speaking it i know they're gonna be real worried about me oh my god so I went back in and I was like gotta be quick I got told off this is

this is how it works and then there was more Star Wars chat and I was like she's not gonna I was like she's not gonna come and get me

I reckon we're safe I said I'm gonna get told off who cares see your new friends and you're showing off yeah said i'm gonna get told off yeah who cares see your new friends yeah showing off yeah yeah yeah she's not gonna tell me off in front of my friends um so there was a lot more chat um about star wars oh gosh we talked about all sorts of things and very we're all very

excited about the mandalorian disney plus launches today right when's that all kicking off and because that was today in new ze. Was it? Okay. Yeah. And so I'm really looking forward to getting home today. Are your new friends back today? Yeah, they're back. Oh, cute. More carpet going in.

Well, you can probably just watch the first episode of Mandalorian with them. They need a lunch break. Yeah. Have you got, like, you've got their phone number, right? Because what are you going to do once the carpet's laid? Could they be new friends? Well, that's what I said at the end of it. I was like, how long is this going to be, like, and they said, well, it'll probably be done tomorrow.

So, like, by the end of today. Yeah, right. I was like, are you coming back to do the click, clack, like, the hard floor stuff? Yeah. He's like, I don't do the hard floor. So, you're breaking up. It's just a short fling. What if the next person doesn't want to talk about Star Wars?

It's like a holiday fling. Holiday friends. It's like holiday friends. Holiday friends. And now you'll never see them again. Yeah. Oh, well. They were people.

You know how I am with people. I know. I grow bored with them. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan were people. You know how I am with people. I know. I grow bored with them. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Kiwis haven't done great at a general knowledge quiz. Oh, that's bad because they were talking the other way. They want to bring the chaser here to do it. Nah, because the people that are good are good.

This is the average. Yeah, but they people that are good are good. This is the average. Yeah, but they don't always put the good people on the chase because otherwise you'd give away too many monies. Don't put your hand up for the chase if you're a dum-dum. Surely you go to pub quizzes and you're smoking it and that's when you're like, this is my calling.

Yeah, right. So this was for the New Zealand initiative. A thousand New Zealanders aged 18 and over were asked a series of questions. And it is revealed that we have serious gaps in public general knowledge. Like what? I'm not willing to hassle these people until after I've heard the questions. Because you learn all that at school, but then I just forget. And plus Google, like you don't need to know off the top of your head.

I'd rather save my memory for other things. Do you think our fact retention has gone down because of the internet? You can just be like, what is that? Oh, yeah. 100%. You don't need it. Yeah. No, anything.

Easy. How long does the Earth take to orbit the sun was one of the questions. Do you know? 365 days. Is it 365 days? Yeah. Is it a year? 365 days. Everybody knows that, right? Yeah. So this was, these questions were answered. No, not everybody knows that. Like half of the people surveyed 37% knew that. You're kidding me. Caitlin, did you know that? Why am I the litmus test?

How many days does it take the sun to go around the Earth? 365 days. Damn it, we just said that. We should have asked first. Because day and night is when it spins, eh? Day and night is when the sun spins around the sun. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, when we spin and the sun's like night and day, night and day.

But while we're spinning, we're going around for a year. Yes. Or the sun. And then independent of that is the moon's going around us at the same time. Hit us with another question. Have you got some more there that they've used? This is the thing. So when they ask these people these questions,

they had no access to the internet. But I'm reading the Herald story on this. And they've put all the questions into the story and people are still getting them wrong. It's like you're on the internet. Yeah, right. 5% of people answered that question that they thought it went around the earth, went around the sun in 100 days.

What? 100 days? It's not even a measurement of time. No. I'd be more accepting if someone was like, a month? Yeah, exactly. Do antibiotics kill viruses as well as bacteria? No. Bacteria. Good work, everybody. But 13% of people got that wrong.

So they're the ones to blame for the super bugs. Yeah. Did the earliest humans live in the same time as dinosaurs? No. I don't know. Caitlin? I don't know that one. No, because it was just dinosaurs.

There was no one else there. Correct, Caitlin. Well done. What about the cavemen? No. The gay men? Cavemen. Oh, cavemen.

It's like, don't bring the gays into this. What did the gays do? Oh, jeez. If Israel Folau had probably said that they were the reason the dinosaurs got hit by the meteorite. I knew that. God was like, take this, gays. Can you imagine how nice a gays cave would be? Pretty nice.

I knew that answer because of friends and Ross. Paleontologist. Okay, that doesn't matter. We're getting the knowledge from more. What year was Te Tiriti o Waitangi signed? Oh, 1860? 70? 40?

1840. 60. It's 40 or 60. Final answer, please. 60? 1840. 60. It's 40 or 60. Final answer, please. 60. 1860. It's 1840. Damn it!

Yeah. Okay. 1840. Winston Churchill, was he real or fake? He was real. Are you kidding me? Yeah. That's one of the questions.

Why was the native land court established? A, to return land to Māori, or B, to make it easier for Pākehā to purchase land? I thought it was so you could get some timber for your furniture. Native land court. I like to think it was A. It was B. Wow.

Yeah, I got that wrong. It was one of the ones I got wrong. This is funny because I've seen this written down, and I don't know if when they asked this question, it was delivered orally. Okay. In the sentence, their house is large, what is the correct spelling for their?

Oh. T-H-E-I-R. Yes. Correct. You were like, am I? But even with it written down, 4% of people used the wrong their, and 1% went for the they are compressed.

Right, okay. Into it. If a car is travelling at 40 kilometres an hour, how far would it travel in 45 minutes? None, because they're all dead anyway in the cemetery. What? Megan got it. I'm happy Megan got it.

I'm glad you got that. It was niche. It really was. You know that old thing, it's like, oh, a plane crashed into a cemetery. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's got nothing to do with the car. I know. That's why it was funny. I can't believe you're like, why hasn't Vaughn made the link? How fast? Do it again. How fast? 40k's

an hour. Travelling at 40k's an hour, how far would I get in 45 minutes? Almost a k. Know fast? 40 k's an hour. Travelling at 40 k's an hour. How far would I get in 45 minutes? Almost a k. No, what? Almost a k. Okay. No, I'm confused. Break the clock into four segments.

So 40 is 10 per segment of the clock. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Post Friday Jams. I sober drove and went to the, what? No, I was just preparing myself. Went to the, oh yeah, this is good. This is good stuff. So I said to Mr. Toowooy and Megan, I said, I'll give you a ride back to your car

because their car was here at work and Megan was sober driving. And at the same time, I was taking Sade home and our friend Jana home. So she's a pretty full car. Yeah, okay. I don't know who said, girls in the back. So they all jumped in the back. And Andrew sat at the front, Mr. Toyboy. Took the front seat.

And then there was just a light bit of chat as I drove quite erratically. But hey, you've got to take control in these situations. Get through the traffic. And then Andrew reached his hand back into the back seat. Mr. Toyboy. Mr. Toyboy. To stroke the leg that he wrongly assumed belonged to his wife.

Now, he touched the leg of our friend Jana. In a sexual, caressing way. She was wearing ripped jeans. Okay. Ripped heavily at the knee. Yep. The hand went inside the rip of the jeans. Which should have been a good way to him because I was wearing a dress,

like a short dress. But he might have thought, in his defense, he may have thought because you were all crammed in he might have thought that was just some material from the person sitting next to her so he puts his hand on her leg now post the fact, Jana tells us that she felt it and looked and

saw it and was like this might just be a pat I won't make a big deal out of it I don't want to embarrass him because that is a little bit embarrassing. She said when the hand went up the leg, she thought it was best to raise the alarm. The hell is he doing in a packed car?

There was just going to be a rub, let's be honest. Oh, I know. That's not. No, no, it wasn't. That's where he's going. No, you weren't going to assume. The hand was going not. No, no, it wasn't. That's where he's going. No, you were going to assume the hand was going up. No. It was dark.

It was late and he'd had a few drinks. He's a randy young man, but surely you wait till you get home to engage in that level of. It's not an Uber. You know everyone in the car. He was just going to pat my knee. He reached back. The hand goes inside the rip of the jean.

Yeah. It starts moving up the leg, and Jana's like, that's my leg. That's my leg. That's my leg. Just so you know. It was so funny because I wasn't directly involved. I wasn't embarrassed on either end of it. Yeah.

The funny, and it was immediate laughter. Yeah. But then Mr. Toyboy got so, like, nervous about it, he started to talk to, like, fill. To make it better? Yeah, to, like, fill the gaps. What did he say? Well, he's like, really, the guy should be in the back seat, you know?

Like, guys, like, women have hips. I was like, sorry? Megan. Shut up. Shut up. We're all like, what did you just say? He's like, well, no, no, you know, like, women have hips. It's genetics.

Women have hips. Well, you're trying to say we can't fit in this back seat. I'm like. Are you trying to give him that look like stop talking? I don't know if it was just wisdom has come with age, but I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I almost like hit a curb just to be like, whoa, oh, we've hit a curb. Better change the subject.

I'm like, hey, what are you doing? And he's like, no, you know, and he's like, babe, shut up. And he's like, no, no, like, you know what it is? It's woman. You look at an x-ray. I'm woman. You look at an x-ray. I'm like, I'm in an x-ray. They just. No.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop. He's like, it's hips. Women have hips. Just shh, shh, shh. I was like, oh. So I just started driving a little bit faster because if we get there a bit quicker, he's

just going to stop. He's going to get his foot out of his mouth a little bit quicker. Yeah. Ah, so we got out. It was fun. I had a great time. I had a great time. I had a laugh about it yesterday too.

Meanwhile, my husband's touching some other woman's leg and telling us that we've all got hips. How they're all fitting back there is amazing to him. Like three women in the back of a car. That's impossible. Especially with all their hips. Each one of them has hips.

It's phenomenal that they can all fit back there. But I was wondering this morning, on the back of the hand up the ripped jeans, when did you think it was your partner? Like when did you mistake someone for your partner? Because didn't you... Maybe it was the dark. You actually got a hug at Friday Jams.

I got, like, a cuddle. It was like an arm slipped slowly across my chest, and then I got a cuddle from behind, and I was like, how is this? I looked down, and I was like, I don't recognise that sleeve. Turned around, and the person was mortified. Like, let go of me.

It was like, not even... Didn't find it funny at all. Was just like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. And I was like, it's alright. It's alright. Did you see who he was meant to be hugging? No, and neither did he. He was wandering around like, I have no idea where the person I was supposed to hug

is. And he just slunk off into the ground. But he was so mortified. I was like, it's alright mate. Either that or that was just what he wanted to do. That's his thing. And then he does that whole acting thing. Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Method acting.

Yeah. So when did you mistake someone for your partner? Because maybe you saw them in the supermarket, you went up, gave them a little pinch and then realised that's not your girlfriend or your... It's the worst when it's like overtly sexual, like a slap on the bum or something. Because they could be

the same build and wearing the same clothes. Yeah. And so you decide well that's them. Without doing a full visual.

My wife, her brother, we were out for a family lunch once and we were walking along and he walked up and slapped, so this is my wife's brother, he slapped my wife on

the ass, his sister. Whack. And I was like, that's like pretty full on and he's like oh my god. my wife's brother, he slapped my wife on the ass, his sister. Whack! And I was like, that's like pretty full on. And he's like, oh my god! Because he thought it was his girlfriend. And Shadow was like, stop it! We're talking about when you have mistaken somebody for your partner.

This is some backseat shenanigans. Yeah, Mr. Toyboy, Megan's husband, felt up another woman. Right in front of Megan. I also can't believe he'd do that in your car too. Touchies with this. Oh, no, he's very affectionate. I know.

Don't be jealous just because he wanted to get my leg off. Did he look? I'm not sure. It must have been a vague look. He might have looked because your leg was beside her leg, eh? Yeah. Right, so he might have looked and then just chucked her hand back. I know how it happened.

I don't know. You've got to be sure when you're rubbing someone's leg. Yeah, you've got to be pretty sure. We want to know when you thought it was your partner, when you've accidentally maybe touched somebody else. Oh, there are some great messages coming through, and not even as bad as Mr. Toyboy's incident. Somebody said to their friend, video this.

And they were going to jump on their partner's back and lick their face. Yeah. So they jumped on their partner's back, grabbed their head, turned and licked the face to realize they'd done that to a complete stranger. What? That's an aggressive maneuver. Yeah, they've got it on video. Oh, no. So there's aggressive maneuver. Yeah, they've got it on video. Oh, no.

So there's court evidence. Yeah. I was playing sardines at night. That's like hide and go seek. You see, when you find the person, you've got to squeeze in with them, right? Oh, okay. So I was hiding. The first person that found me was my girlfriend.

And I thought, what a perfect time for a little cuddle in the dark. She tucked in and stayed this way until everybody else found us. That's when the light was turned on by my girlfriend, revealing that I had been lovingly holding my mate's new girlfriend of two weeks. I thought it was you. I thought it was you. I definitely thought it was you. But then imagine you find the person that's hiding and you go in

and then they're like, come to me. And like, envelop you. I'll be like, don't talk about this new person or you'll be out of the new friend group. It's a shush moment. Nicola, who did you mistake for your partner? My to-be father-in-law for my husband to be. What did you do?

We were all out to dinner. So it was like the second or third time I'd met my to-be parents-in-law, and we were about to pay for dinner, we were at the Sky City, and my husband-to-be went to the toilet, and I thought he'd come back,

but no, I was, I grabbed this guy's arm and wrapped my arm under it and started rubbing the top part of the arm with my other hand. And I was like... And then I saw my husband walking back and I freaked out. I was like, oh, my God. But the dad wasn't at any stage like, stop.

He was just like, okay. Right, he's like, I like this one, son. He's like, getting a nice arm rub. That's really testing the waters on a family's relationship. It is, it is. Nicola, thanks for your call. Renee, someone's done this at your work. Yeah, so it wasn't me, and it wasn't a partner,

but it was still pretty bad. So a colleague went up to what she thought was another colleague and, like, flicked her G-string. She was bending over, and it turns out it was a customer. Oh, my. Oh, that's a... That's a no-no. It was just someone else with a red polo shirt

at the warehouse. Like, you know, if it was similar to the uniform, if they were wearing something similar. Red polo, black pants, and a G-string showing. That's classic warehouse uniform. It is. Hey, Renee, thanks for your call. Chanel, who did you mistake?

Hey, guys, how are you? Good. Good. So, oh, many years back, my now husband and I had only been together for a couple years. Yeah. And we were barbecuing with our landlords. Oh, yeah. And a few drinks down, and it was real dark, no lights on outside.

I came round from behind to give him a hug and stuck my hand in his crotch. And it wasn't my partner, it was my landlord and my partner was standing right next to me and he was like, babe, and I was like, what? Oh my God. Come on, Deena. My landlord reeled and he was like, um, Chanel? And I was like, what? No, no.

No, this didn't happen. Everyone wipe it, wipe it. Were you just like, that feels a bit more or a bit less or about the same? A bit less. Yeah. It all happened. It all just happened. Yeah, wow.

It all happened. I was so shocked. I would have just wanted to die. Chanel, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Do you know what? We're hearing from more women Who have done this Than men

Really okay Maybe we're just more affectionate However After a night out Our friend was Gropey Yeah After a night out

We were in the car And our friend was rubbing What he thought was His girlfriend's leg But it was my boyfriend's leg And he said later He was too embarrassed To say anything

So he just let him rub it But he wanted to know Why the hairy leg wasn't a sign. Surely you'd feel the hairy leg. Yeah, right. Yeah. Unless he wanted to. Unless it was an awakening. Yeah.

Thought my partner was in the shower, so proceeded to undress and walk in, and I said, hey, daddy. It turns out it was his daddy. Oh, my God. That was horrendous. How do you even talk to them after that? You just wouldn't.

You'd leave for a couple of weeks, eh? I'm just taking an untitled holiday. I might not be back. Don't send it for me. And finally, somebody was in the supermarket and they saw their partner bent over and they walked up. This was a guy bent over. The female saw the guy, their partner, bent over and they walked up. This was a guy bent over. The female saw the guy,

their partner bent over, walked up, grabbed him by the hips, slammed her crotch into his butt and said, take it. Who was it? By the way, even if that is your partner, that is a power move.

Yeah. Take it. Was not just a random guy in the supermarket. Which is even more of a power move. What are the conversations after that? Oh, you just bought into IO. God, if they needed to borrow you one card, you wouldn't say no, would you? Take it.

Take it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is the man responsible for inventing the typewriter. All that spent his fortune building a mansion that he slept in for one night. Then he died of a heart attack. Jeez. Okay. Imagine that. God.

He's worked with this architect to build this super extravagant looking house. Yeah. Look, I'll show you. The guy that designed it designed universities and stuff at the time. Okay. He designed Cornwall University. And it does look like it's got like a bell tower and everything. Oh, my God.

That looks like a gigantic mansion. Yeah. How would you describe that? Yeah, but not like your traditional modern day mansion. No, no, no, no, no. Victorian era, like high pitched roofs. Why does it have a big clock tower? He just wanted a tower. Oh, no, no, no. Victorian era, like high-pitched roofs. Why does it have a big clock tower? He just wanted a tower.

Because this is on an island, so he wanted to be able to go up there and see the whole island from the top of his tower. So he made all of his money working on how to make a typewriter work. And then he's like, oh, I've always wanted a house and so I'll build it there. And got it built and he's like,

it's all done here's the keys okay goes in has one night's sleep wakes up the next morning dies good lord but he got to stay in it yeah at least he what for one night one night yeah yeah and then what is it now is it any is it still around now so uh then his son inherited it but his son was like, I don't like it. It's pretty cute. Yeah, he's like, I'm not going there. It's a bit over the top. I don't like it. And then it got a General Electric owned it at one stage,

which I don't know how they got their hands on it, but now it just sits in complete disrepair. Some people built a new house kind of a little bit away from it, but it just sits on the edge of their property. In the 1940s It's near Canada. Yeah, yeah. It's on the border. It's right near the border of Canada. Less than a mile. Right.

Between the border of Canada and the US. And in the 1940s somebody said, can we just go and grab stuff out of that? Like out of the house? Like the marble and that? And the people who owned the land at the time were like, yeah, I suppose so. And so it got stripped of all of its stuff.

And now it's just like a shell of a house, but it looks like a haunted house. It does. It'd make a great haunted house backdrop. Kind of like the Haunting of Hell house. That's what it looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like that. Yeah, okay, creepy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except that still had floors and stuff. This one doesn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, creepy. Except that still had floors and stuff, this one doesn't. Yeah. So much had floors in most of its places. So today's fact of the day, William O. Wyckoff, the man who invented the typewriter,

spent all of his typewriter money on a mansion that he slept in for one night before he died of a heart attack. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, well, I was just minutes ago alerted on Instagram to the fact that some of us

were in the newspaper. The thing that people get and it's got pages and it's got news on it that's not the internet. Not sure what you're talking about. So I went out to, this is yesterday,

apparently in Monday's paper. So I went out to reception. Your owner keeps the newspapers. Does she? Do you have Monday's newspaper, the New Zealand Herald? And she said, well, yes, I do. Wonderful. Here you go.

And I said, do you need this back? She said, no. So we can keep this. We've got this forever, which is great news. Thanks, Yona. Thanks so much. Because you'll remember yesterday we talked about our excitement and even last week our excitement of going into the city rail loop tunnels

under Auckland. They're being built. We can only walk the first, what, six, 700 metres. Yeah. But it was still very exciting. It's civil engineering at its finest. We were standing under buildings

and the city. It was amazing. Which we couldn't see. It was just a grey tunnel. Megan needed a ride to Friday Jam, so she begrudgingly came along. Yeah. Well, as pointed out on Instagram instagram we were in the paper so

i've opened it up flick through page seven first pages nothing nothing with these in it story about friday jam said great camilla charles and camilla who are here yeah in the country and then page camilla cabello and prince charles yeah it's his new wife um What? Page seven. Thousands stroll in city rail tunnels. Great. And there's a photo of me making an Instagram story. And then Megan, to my left, holding her hand back in her active wear. Looking super pissed. Looking super.

Super pissed. Super unhappy. And then a couple of my friends to the side. I don't know where you are, Vaughn. Why do you have to say specifically your friends? I can see James and Vaughn at the back. Look at James doing his hand thing. What hand thing?

He does this fabulous hand thing where he walks with his hand out to the side. And then Vaughn's at the back. And there's producer James. You didn't look too happy, actually, James. You didn't really like the tunnels, did you? Did you like the tunnels? It depends on whereabouts we were in the tunnels.

There were parts that I liked. There were parts that weren't so great. You liked the history bits. I liked the history bits. Very interesting. Vaughn and I really got into the history. It was a good history gallery there. We just stopped there for a long time.

I think that's why you were at the back, because you stopped looking at a sign at the back there. Yeah. A sign reading that. Why did they use that as the picture though? Because there's a real, like my face is just It looks real sour.

A look of disdain. So for those that are listening now and think, well, what does this photo look like? If you go to my Instagram story, I've zoomed in on Megan's face, Fletch NZ.

It's also on FEMZM, our own Instagram for the show. Don't plug your individual Instagram. I needed a photo. I've got more of a story with your reaction. And you're actually wearing the same clothes now as you are then. Oh, gross. Gross.

No, wash your clothes. I actually almost swore. F-stake. But yeah, so there you go. You can see that Fletch NZ for that Instagram story. Feel free to share that as well because Megan would love for the world to see that

thanks to all the lovely people at Friday James who were like I don't know how you put up with those two I don't either it's a real struggle most of the people

inside the tunnel yesterday were families so we're a family we're a happy family we are in a way our family yeah that's nice good

that's nice now would you like this framed? Nah. Oh my God, this can be your secret Santa. I'm going to give this to your secret Santa. Well, they'll have the high quality version upstairs. Oh yeah, we can actually get that printed out. Yeah.

Properly. That'd be lovely. Can I get that framed? Don't react, Megan, because you're feeding into exactly what they want. Ten, nine, eight. What are you counting down for? Are you about to explode? Are you a bomb?

Oh my god, this was a long play terrorist act. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. So the study has been done on whether having a friend at work is good for productivity.

Oh. Does this count us? I'll let you know when I find a friend at work. So a lot of people have. Ouch. That actually was quite mean. God, you're mean. You're such a bully. Like, how do we put up with you?

So mean to us. Ruthless. Never ending. If you want to see a photo of Megan looking like, meh, just go to my Instagram. Only like a half a break ago, you two were ruthlessly hassling me

and my picture in the paper. Megan, I, but I can't help, if that's a photo of you, like I didn't alter that. No, but you're the one who's saying, oh, like meh, and then putting it all over your social.

You said meh. You just said meh. I just heard you say meh. Oh, Christ. He just repeated what you heard, but I didn't say anybody looked meh. Nobody looks meh. We all look like absolutely babin'. Also, what's meh?

Isn't that what the three wise men call Jesus? Stupid sound effect that came out of Bleach's mouth. You just don't look happy to be in the tunnel. I wasn't. So it's real life. Straighten up, Mary. Here come the three wise men with their gifts. We've moved on from that analogy, Vaughn.

Oh, frankincense. No, I feel like it's still got some lents. No, it hasn't. We're done. We're done. Two of the gifts are okay. Can we please be friends at work? Thank you.

Carry on. That's what I mean. I'll let you know when I find some friends. You're out in the producer's booth. Yeah. So this doesn't count for people who work in separate offices, but they looked into whether working directly with your friend is good for productivity.

So they've found that if you have friends at work, it makes you stay in your job longer. Okay. Which is a good thing if you sit beside your friend workers are six percent less productive than when they're working you're gonna start guess you're gonna be like oh my god look at this thing i just saw on facebook look at this or you're gonna start chatting about your weekend or your plans yeah you get sidetracked but then that's a good thing, right?

Like you say, you're going to stay in your job. You're going to like work better. Yeah. Because I guess if you don't like the person you're working with or the people, you're just going to shut up and do your job, aren't you? Yeah. That's a good thing, isn't it? Yeah, but you won't be happy, so how long is it going to last?

So they've said, yeah, they wanted to look into this because a workplace friend lifts them up. They can talk through your days, your highs and lows. You can get through things and your general demeanour is better. But yeah, if you're sitting beside them, you're 6% less productive. But if you're across from them, apparently that's fine. If you sit across. Someone's just said maybe you've got a bit too heavy on the Bondi sands.

But no, I think they mean this lady here. Yeah, that's not me. Going back to the rail tunnel photos. Sorry, carry on, friend. No, I'm done. I'm done. I'm actually done for the week. So the three wise men turn up gold frankincense and moo.

Moo. You're right. There was a bit left in there. There was a little bit. I felt like I'd had a couple. It's probably still got legs, too. Were they in a tunnel when they were walking to Jesus? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Heck no. No tunnels. No, no, no. no, no, no. Heck no, no tunnels. I'm going to find a job where I've got some mates. Good luck out there, kid. All right. What's coming up, Fletch? Do your job. Push the button. 90 minutes of non-stop jams.

There you go. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here.

ZM.