ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 20 2019

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Don't Get Fletch Started, meeting your best friend and are you a hot burner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You mentioned the Sydney bushfires. Yesterday, Tuesday AM, Sydney air quality was the worst in the world. Like beating out places in like Asia. Oh no. For air quality. Apparently 30 times the level of safe. Wow. 20 times worse than Jakarta and Beijing in Sydney at the moment.

I saw that if you're planning to go to Sydney, you need to talk to your like doctor and stuff to make sure, because I don't know. Because you're asthmatic, so you need to, if you've got asthma, you've asthma

asthma asthma or like a respiratory illness it's really not a good idea to go over there no yeah 30 times safe levels

in Sydney at the moment that's not safe yeah well my brother lives just up the coast he sent me a video last night just before sunset and it was just red

it was just red red haze it was crazy and I said is it still burning around you? He's like, no, but it just smells smoke everywhere. Wow.

The pungent stink of smoke fresh in the air. And obviously affecting the air quality in Sydney City as well. Right. Coming up on the show in studio, we've got our Suntory Boss coffee machine, the vending machine.

Chance to win prizes. Unlock this vending machine. Chance to win prizes. Unlock this vending machine before seven o'clock. Got to listen out for the activator. We'll give you a clue soon. You need a four-digit pin. Top six is coming up.

Have we decided? Have you decided? No. Tossing up a few ideas? Yeah, tossing up a few ideas. Maybe something Disney Plus related. Oh, okay.

I didn't get to sit down to Disney Plus last night. Did you talk to your new carpet-laying friends about Star Wars yesterday? Yeah, we had a little bit more Star Wars chat. But he finished. He's gone now. Oh, my God. Did you get his number? No.

But he's coming back before Christmas through the carpet in the lounge. Oh, you have to be Facebook friends before then. Well, we're going to have so much more to talk about then. Will you miss some? Nah. Yes. Okay, yeah. Nah. As much as I miss any human. Right. It's getting less and less.

Right. Each passing day. You're hating you were just moaning about crowds before. Oh yeah, not my cup of tea. They're so unpredictable. You are going to turn into a hermit. 100%, that's of tea. They're so unpredictable. You are going to turn into a hermit. 100%, that's the plan. They're so unpredictable, crowds. People.

Crowds. So unpredictable. Like, yeah, I just imagine I'm like Simba and I'm down in that canyon and there's like a stampede of people. Like we're an unpredictable bunch. I would have thought that Fletch would hate crowds more because they're all touching, like end up touching you. No, that's his thing. Rubbing it up against somebody in the crowd. So it's disgusting.

What are you talking about? All right, you lot, listen up. It's Storytime. Storytime, three news headlines for interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories from around the world. And Vaughan and Megan deliberate and decide which headline we delve into. Headline one, roomy belly button.

Headline two, hoarder trapped. And headline three, 101 dashoons. Dashoons. A dashoon. Who just got a dashown? A dashoon. Who just got a dash-hound? Soshage doggies. Who just got a dash-hound? A sausage dog.

Yes. I want to go see it. My friend had a couple of those growing up there, just those yappy little things, aren't they? No, don't tarnish a whole breed with being yappy. I want a dash-hound. I'm going to get one. My friend's mum had a Pomeranian.

God, that put me off Pomeranians. That was horrible. Why do you always get a big, actual good dog? Like a Labrador that's real cute. What about a big dog? But a sausage dog. They're like those things you put up against the door to stop the drafts coming in. We're allowed to have different opinions on what's cute.

Vaughn sent a picture of his neighbour's dog yesterday and was like, so cute. I was like, that's a horrible dog. It's all like, it needs a trim. Oh yeah, it definitely needs a trim, but it's a pretty cute dog. I was like, we have different, differing opinions on what's cute. Adashuns, have we made them longer?

I don't know. You know how we see something we like about a dog, like a little smushed up face, and we're like, breathe until it can't breathe. I'd love to see a Dachshund that's twice the size. Well, I mean, how far off are we? Like twice the length. Not height. I mean, I've got a feeling this

101 Dachshund story's not a good one. Puppy farm? Yeah, it's not a good story. It's a puppy. They were rescued. 101 Dachshunds. Oh, I'll look after one. Have we made Dishoons longer. We Google. I'm going to have a little Google into this.

Because you would need to put an extra set of legs in the middle if we made them any longer. Don't they get stuck on stairs sometimes? Yeah, they're silly dogs. So cute. But I would just love to see one double the length. Yes, that would be pretty cute. And they can't get fat because then see one double the length. Yes, that would be pretty cute. And they can't get fat because then they scrape along the ground.

So we don't want that. Which story do we want? Roomie belly button or hoarder trapped? Roomie belly button? Oh, we've definitely made them longer, guys. Have we? I'm just looking. You know how there's that, what pedigrees look like 100 years ago, and they actually look like dogs, but just a little bit different?

We've stretched them. Oh, we've stretched it right out. So you see, I think in 100 years we could see a longer dash hound. If we keep going the way we're going. Good. I'm excited for that day. Might have to Photoshop one up in the meantime. Oh, my gosh.

Look, here's a really fat dash hound. It's so fat, its legs don't touch the ground. Oh, that's horrible. How did hound. It's so fat, its legs don't touch the ground. Oh, that's horrible. How did you let your dog get that fat? Okay, which one do we want? Roomie belly button or hoarder trapped? Roomie belly button. Do you want roomie belly button?

Yeah, you want roomie belly button? All right, we go now to Florida where a Florida man was arrested for possession of a hypodermic needle containing methamphetamine at the weekend. He is 180 pounds. What's that, 150? How many kgs is that? 180 pounds. He's a big unit.

No, 380 pounds. Oh, 380. You definitely said 180. I was like, that's not that big. That's under 100 kgs. I can't. He is 172 kgs, this man. Half, 380. Oh, 380. You definitely said 180. I was like, that's not that big. That's under 100 kgs. I can't. He is 172 kgs, this man. It's half and a little bit more, yeah.

Yeah, so he is 172 kgs. They discovered when they were processing him to put him in the cell that deep, wedged deep in his belly button cavity was a bag of meth. Wow. Like, that's a big belly button, eh? That's a really big belly button. How big's the bag?

I get stuff all on my belly button. It's just a little bag. A small plastic bag containing 2.7 grams. So not big. But even then, I wouldn't be able to finger that into my belly button and hide it. But I guess you've got a bit of a layer, don't you? It's like a... Oh, yeah, right.

If you're a bit bigger, you could probably just hide it. Because is your belly button anchored? I've got a feeling like your belly button's anchored to something. Because you know, if you push it, it hurts. Right. And then so if you get a bit bigger, the hole just gets bigger. It stays down. Yeah.

Right. Is your belly button anchored? Some good searches already on the show this morning. Have we made dashhounds longer? And is your belly button connected to anything on the inside? Or does it come out? It is. Oh, hold on.

Here's the best answer. It's connected, anchored to your bladder by a piece of fibrous connective tissue called the uricus or median umbilical ligament. It's basically just the leftover from the interior part of your umbilical cord. Right. When you put on weight such that their belly grows, fat accumulates in the abdominal cavity as well as beneath the skin. And as the fat surrounding your belly button increases, the belly button well appears deeper as the anchor to your bladder will remain unchanged. So, I mean, that's a good way of getting stuff into festivals.

Be monstrously... Yeah, you might even be able to get a hip flask into an event. Oh, you have to stretch it right up. No, I don't want to. It makes me feel a little bit funny. Get a funny poke in the belly button. Oh, yeah. When stretch it right up. No, I don't want to. It makes me feel a little bit funny. Get a funny poke in the belly button. Oh, yeah. Hey, when people poke your belly button, never.

Don't poke people's belly buttons. What? What are you doing? I don't know. Has anyone ever poked your belly button? No. I haven't. I've poked my own one.

Oh, I don't like it. Too hard. Don't do that. Yuck. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Hello. Hello.

Hyperfibre has been announced from Chorus. So we've got, what's the one that I've got? Ultra broadband or something. Oh, yeah, what? No, you've got a fibre. I've got fibre. I think fibre's a step up from broadband. So fibre.

ADSL 2 or something. No, no, no. No, and then fiber. Fiber. And then hyper... Hyper fiber. It says it will provide a two gigabyte per second. Wow.

And four gigabyte per second fiber plan for some South Islanders. And that's going to be in February. And then Auckland in May. And then a broader rollout. Ha ha, not to me. I'm not even on their list of people who they think will have internet suitable for high definition streaming for everybody. It's too hard to get the wires to you. No, that's fine.

But they said this is their competitor to 5G, which will be wireless. Okay. And it will control our minds and sell all our secrets to China, if you believe it. Believe it. So if they've gone ultra-fiber, they've gone fiber, they've gone ultra-fiber, they've gone hyper-fiber, what next? What's the next name?

Here's my top six suggestions for the next quicker internet fiber names. Number six, breakneck fiber. Breakneck fiber. It's always going to breakneck speed. Breakneck fiber. Probably a little aggressive sounding. It does sound a lot. Yeah speed. Breakneck fibre. Probably a little aggressive sounding. It does sound a lot. A little aggressive.

Number five's a little bit friendlier. On the list of the top six next quicker internet fibre names, Zippy Fibre. Zippy. That's cute. Zippy. It is cute. Oh, this internet Zippy.

Would you like to sign up for 12 months of Zippy Fibre? That's what my mum would call it. Zippy. That's a Zippy. Like how they what my mum would call it. Zippy. That's zippy. Like how they describe small cars. Yeah. Very zippy. Number four on the list of the top six next quicker internet fibre names are turbo fibre.

That sounds fast. Yeah, it does, yeah. Sounds a little obnoxious though. Like when you dial in and it's not beep. Like dial up, it's like womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp. Yeah, it sounds like another blow-off valve. Womp, swomp. Number three on the list of the top six next quicker internet fibre names are NimbleNet.

Nimble. No, that doesn't sound like an internet I'd want. Oh, does it? Well, it's nimble. It's towing along sound like an internet I'd want. Oh, doesn't it? Well, it's nimble. It's towing along. Hurry up and download my TV shows. It probably is something you want. Open the nimble tab.

Get round the outside of it. Number two on the list of the top six next quicker internet fibre names are brisk fibre. Although that sounds like a cereal that helps you poop. It does, yes. Have a bowl of brisk fibre to start your day. With some Activa yoghurt, you shit yourself before brunch.

And then you'll have room for more. And number one on the list of the top six next quicker internet fibre names is treat yourself to some 4K pornonet. I don't know if that'll be marketable. Not to the masses. Not for your mum or dad. Yeah. Oh, well, maybe dad.

Maybe mum. Maybe mum. Maybe mum. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Gordon Ramsay has splashed out, absolutely splashed out on his daughter's birthday. I believe she was turning 18

and she had a James Bond themed party at a London. James Bond themed? Yeah. It was a 007 ice sculpture. You could drink shots out of it. So excited for the new James Bond because you know Phoebe Waller-Bridge is part of writing that who did Fleabag

and Killing Eve. It's going to be a bit funnier I think. Yeah. So there was drinks topped with her face or the 007 logo. Right. And then everyone was asked to come in black tie. But it was at a swanky London place called the Cuckoo Club. Okay. So he spent a lot of money on her party, as it was.

But the entertainment, he paid a million dollars, a million New Zealand dollars to have Ed Sheeran play. So was that half a million pounds or a million New Zealand? A million New Zealand dollars. 500,000 pounds. Well, he would literally just sort of

turn up with his guitar, play how many songs? Five songs and then did Happy Birthday Tilly. But apparently that's standard for a private gig for Ed Sheeran. He asked £500,000. You always hear about the rich sheiks and stuff in the Middle East

having their birthday parties and inviting Beyonce. And she goes and does five songs. A million bucks or something. Gets like a million, two million dollars or whatever. I've just Googled how much you think Gordon Ramsay's worth. I already Googled it, so I'm not. You know? Yeah. Because I was Googling how much you think Gordon Ramsay's worth. I already Googled it so I'm not. You know?

Yeah. Because I was Googling how much Ed Sheeran's worth. Yeah. Because, so like half a million pounds. Yeah. It's all relative,

isn't it? Like when you're as rich as him, could you be bothered doing something for half a million pounds? Yeah. Like we're all just like, yes.

Because it's one night and he's probably friends with a lot of those people. But it'd be your net worth equivalent of 50 bucks. You know what I mean? No offence. But you know what, if you actually worked it out,

it would probably be equivalent to five or two dollars. Yeah. Like when you actually worked it out. So my thing would be, it's all relative. Yeah. Would you go to a friend's or someone's birthday party for $2?

Well, I'd go to birthday parties for free currently. Do you? Do you not charge an appearance fee? I thought you would have at least charged $20. No. But I guess he's working. He's going to sing five songs. But you're right, and he's probably friends with, like,

Gordon Ramsay would be a good kind of in, wouldn't it? Yeah, and, like, the Beckhams were there. He's friends with them. Right. So he's really hanging out. Well, then you either do it for nothing, don't you do it for free, or you do it for an insane amount of money. Yeah, that's weird that he's charging when you're saying that he's friends with them all. Yeah.

But then I guess if he does it for free, then all of a sudden he's got to do everyone else's birthdays for free. Yeah, exactly. Doesn't he? But Gordon Ramsay's worth $190 million. But he's also got a lot of kids. He's got a lot of kids to get parties if he's spending,

like, because he would have easily spent millions. Yeah. But he's worth $190 million. Yeah, but he's got kids. But he's going to drop that every time. Because you know what it's like when your brother or sister got kids. But he's going to drop that every time. Because you know what it's like when your brother or sister got something. You're like, okay, my party better be just as swanky.

That's why mum and dad never gave us any parties. We got cake and Nana. Nana come over for cake. Nana. And that was it. Did Nana sing songs? Five songs and then happy birthday? No.

Lame. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Revenge porn is such an intense subject to look into. I've just been reading a news story, and this is just the tip of the iceberg, really. Yeah. But Facebook says every month, every month,

it identifies half a million cases of revenge porn. And that's just the stuff that it identifies. Half a million cases of revenge porn. And that's just the stuff that it identifies. Half a million? Yeah. Every month? On Facebook? But where?

Well, like people aren't posting stuff of their ex on their timeline, are they? Or are they like sharing it in groups? So what they do is there's groups, and I've never seen one, but apparently like revenge porn groups. On Facebook? And you anonymously message it to the group and then they upload it. And then they share it with other groups who also upload it. How are these groups allowed? Just shut down the groups.

Exactly. But they pop back up again. Oh my God. It's nuts, right? So when Facebook, I remember when this happened, they said, if you have a nude image of you used in revenge porn, if you send it to us, I know. That sounds like a trap.

That's a trap. If you send it to us, we can, they've got an algorithm where they convert that picture into like a digital fingerprint. They call it a hash, a digital fingerprint. And then they can stop that same digital fingerprint being uploaded or partial. So if it's then cropped, they'll be able to identify that it shares so many qualities with this. The computer will run alongside and be like,

yeah, it's the same thing, but crop, bang, delete it, delete it. But like victims of revenge porn have said, it's a pretty traumatic time to deal with. It's really embarrassing. And it's probably too late. And you don't feel sending the photo to anybody else is going to help. Well, it's not too late because if you send that photo to them and say, this is what's been used against me.

Right. It can already scan images that exist. Oh, okay, right. Yeah. Like in chats and groups and stuff. So because Facebook owns Instagram, okay, right. Like in chats and groups and stuff. So because Facebook owns Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook, it would work across

all three. So even WhatsApp groups, it would be able to identify those photos in there. Wow. But I just don't really want to send it to Facebook because you don't know who and how many people are looking at it.

Exactly. What a victim of it has said. She said it's such a confusing time and never think so. But is that all automated? Or is there someone in a Facebook centre in India or something? 25 full-time employees on their revenge porn team. And they work in tandem with an algorithm. That would be quite a horrible job, wouldn't it?

Yeah. So they use the algorithm to identify nerd images. They go through all the reports. You know how you can report an image? Yeah. They go all through all the reports and also take the pictures down. But you think 25 people... That's not a lot.

...with an algorithm working through half a million reports a month. You wouldn't even be scraping the surface really, would you? It'd be all go. Lord.

Yeah. So it's just really, really interesting. Imagine what, like a full day of work doing that is. You just come home, you just be like,

nah, I'm done with the world. Yeah. Yeah. Just see the awful side of humanity all day. I just want to look at a picture of a tree or something. As opposed to coming home and actually, yeah, the other way around. Yeah.

Well, you might have seen this during the runs yesterday, although for those who love being organised, this was all a little too late, to be honest. Really? Because, you know, I'm a big planner. Yeah, this was sort of sorted out in August, right? We had this sorted out. Yeah, this is how to make the most of your

holidays, your annual leave in the next coming year, 2020. Weird to say 2020. But also over summer. So it's an obvious one, it might be a bit too late but I guess some people might not have sorted out their Christmas holidays

but in 2019 you can take 4 annual leave days, so if you take December 27th, the 30th and the 31st which are not public holidays and the 3rd of January all up from Christmas until Jan 3rd, when you go back to work on the 4th, you'll get 12 days off in a row by only taking four annual leave

days. But a lot of workplaces shut down anyway, don't they? They make you take that leave anyway. Yeah. So that's one to look at. Next year, it doesn't work as well at the end of 2020. With three days, you'll be getting 10 days of leave in a row in total because I guess the weekends don't kind of work out.

Now, this year over Easter, it wasn't one of those. It wasn't an Easter Anzac Mario. No, and it's not next year, but you can take four days off after Easter Monday, and that'll give you all up. That'll give you 10 days in a row. So you'll finish up work on Thursday. Yeah, we've done that. You've got to get it in quick.

You've got to get the leave and the forms in quick. Waitangi Day, that's the first Thursday of Feb. So if you take the Friday off, that'll give you a four-day weekend next year. And again, get in now because you'll beat everyone else at work and then the boss can't say, oh, Susan and John have already taken that off.

So you'll have to stay here, Trish. I don't feel like this is too late. I just feel like we're always super early because we have you. But like everyone else isn't putting in their leave for next year yet. No, they are, Megan. People are organised like me. I don't think they are. That's so advanced. Well, take this as your warning.

Yeah. That it's been put out there now. Yeah, it has. I told't think they are. That's so advanced. Well, take this as your warning. Yeah. That it's been put out there now. Yeah, it has. It's been told you. Queen's birthday as well next year. You can have a four-day weekend. If you heard, that'll be on a Monday, the 1st of June. So you can either take the Tuesday or the Friday before,

make a four-day weekend. And it's good as well if you do that because if you're going away, some of you get flights a bit cheaper the day before because the airlines all know it's a long weekend, a public holiday. So they chuck them up. And, of course, then you've got all your regional anniversary days to factor in there. God, this just gets me so excited organising holidays for next year

and it's not even 2020. Yeah, it's reggie. It says you've got to play the original anniversary strengths as well. You've got to. Again, you might get like an extra long weekend. And it only takes a day or two of leave. And you get four weeks a year. So use it.

Good stuff. You're welcome, New Zealand. You're welcome. It's just organisation. It's great. And any advice for those who are self-employed? Nah. I guess you've just got to

probably just take some. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. I know, well that's the thing, these articles and plans

only work if you're on like a standard contract, don't they? Like you get your four weeks leave a year. Yeah.

If you're on a contract, I don't want to hear about it. They love to tell you. I don't want to hear about it. They love to tell you. I don't want to get any holidays. You chose to. So weird hearing them do my song at Friday Jams Live. Yeah. I was like, it's my song.

I really wanted them to do it for you, but it's probably best we didn't tell them we're using it. Yeah, no one told them, eh? Nah. Nah. Yeah, it's good. Although Will.i.am's got enough legal troubles of his own. Yeah. At the moment.

Sadly. Yeah. Qantas. I want to sue them for a word that starts with Q not having a U straight after it. That's what my main issue with them is. But don't get fleshed out. But just before we get to don't get fleshed out,

Megan, do you ever send somebody a text message but you've had an autocorrect? Maybe an autocorrect is a word and just the one small autocorrect that most people could probably just work out but they message back and they're like, what do you mean? Because they're confused by the autocorrect.

How do you handle that? Oh, you just rewrite the word? Yeah, yeah, just pop them through the word. Sorry, this is what it is. And then maybe say, oh, autocorrect. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Fletch?

If you send somebody a message and one little tiny word autocorrects rather than just correcting yourself. You know this gets me started. You know... So, this happens a bit. Because, you know, you're quite often texting and not paying attention, you're doing a couple of things.

You just type, type, type, type, type, message send. And the odd time there is a typo or maybe there's a word missing. Like, for example, the latest one I can think of is I said something like, oh, I'll do that later or I'll see you later. And I spelt later L-A-Y-E-A.

And the person messages back what do you mean? I'll see you layer. I'll see you layer. Like, what do you think it means? Like, it's not the Da Vinci code. It's not hard to work out. It's a typo that should say later. like, it's not the Da Vinci Code. It's not hard to work out. It's a typo that should say later. Like, that's not the hardest.

Was this a friend? Yes. Okay, so you unleashed on your friend. No, but I'm just like, no, I didn't unleash on them, but I'm just thinking, like, I don't need to explain this. Like, how stupid are you? You're just thinking they're an idiot. I'm just thinking they're an idiot, yeah.

And there was another one where I, I don't know, it wasn't the best sentence but I got pulled up on it by another friend and I'm just like, oh, come on, you know what that means. No, but in your mind

it's clear but when you're reading a text message it's not always. They can't read your source. Yeah, but people will do this to me and I'll work it out. Like it's a code.

I'll see you later. Like, come on, that should say later. Oh, they've made a typo. They're obviously texting and walking, or they're busy. I understand that, and I'll let that slide. I'll never pull someone up because that's just what happens. You can work it out. I can work it out.

It's not hard to work out one missing word, is it? They're not, like, doing it to wind you up, though. They genuinely can't work it out. What does that say about them? Basically, this equates to a lot of these don't get fletched at. He believes his time is more valuable than everybody else's. So that five seconds he's going to have to write, oops, later. I meant later.

Exactly. He believes there's such a incursion on his personal time where, because you know he's always so busy, that they're not valuing his time. Yeah. By asking him to repeat himself. Come on, work it out. It's like a code. It's like a fun code.

Well, you should take more care writing the right thing in the first place. Well, I try and I normally do if I read back over a message and I see a typo, I'll rewrite it or asterisk what I was meant to say. Yeah. And work it out. Come on. It's actually one of my pet hates.

It's like, come on. That doesn't annoy you at all. Nah. It must annoy you. Nah, because I always, I don't like spelling mistakes. So if I make them, them I always if I look back and see layer in this example

I would immediately write later asterisk asterisk yeah I always correct myself straight afterwards but if you hadn't noticed

because you were so busy and they said what do you mean would you be like oh come on it was obvious I'd just write the one word later

sorry later maybe I expect too much from people maybe I expect everybody to be a World War 2 code breaker That's right, the one word, later. Sorry, later. Maybe I expect too much from people. Maybe I expect everybody to be a World War II codebreaker. I don't know. Or great at it. Or everyone to bust out their tutoring machine to decipher what the Nazis mean. Exactly.

I don't know. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. Someone on the show's had a run-in with the pole pole.

It's actually not anyone in the studio. We crossed to the producer's booth. Oh, yeah. And it's actually not producer Caitlin. Might have been a good guess. Sorry. Producer James, would you like to tell us what's happened? Yes, I was a suspect yesterday in a criminal investigation.

Oh, you do look like a suspect in a criminal investigation. I don't know about that. I don't think that's fair. No, well, I was driving to work yesterday morning. 4.30am in the morning. Not many people on the road. So why didn't you tell us about this yesterday? I forgot.

How do you forget? I imagine this would be quite a... Yeah, I don't know. I think I was just about to leave work yesterday and I said to Caitlin, I forgot I got pulled over by the police yesterday. She's like, what? And I was like, I've got to go.

See you later. All right, well, we'll talk about this today. Yeah, so it was yesterday morning and yeah, 4.30 in the morning. No one else on the road, especially out where I live, which is quite far out west. I think I was the only car.

Yeah. About to pull onto the motorway and then a cop car goes past me the other way. Yeah. Straight away, they do a U-turn and ride up behind my back. Were you speeding? I wasn't speeding, but, of course, straight away, you think, what did I just do?

I've done something wrong. What speed am I going? And you're like, what did I leave in my glove box? My blood would have run cold. I get so scared when they're behind you with the lights on. I was really scared and I was wondering what I've done wrong. I pull up to the lights and I already start

indicating to go right even though I'm probably about 20 metres away from it because I don't want anything to go wrong. I pull around the corner and then the lights come on. Oh, okay. So they've obviously checked my number plate. Must think I'm dodgy or something yeah uh and they pull me over and she comes up to my window and knocks on my window because i haven't

put it down yet which is a rookie that's rude that's a mistake do i get out of the car have you ever got out of a car when you've been pulled over they're like remain in the car i mean that's good because in America, they just shoot you. Yeah. So, yeah. And then I rolled down my window. I have a manual window. I don't have a great car.

So that was, that took a bit. There's what, a handle? I've got a handle. Yeah. It's a hold in. They're terrible cars. Never buy one. Because weren't your kids amazed by that the other day?

Oh, yeah. They couldn't believe that cars had handles to wind down the windows. It's nuts. It's unbelievable. You should take them around to see James' car. I know, they'd love that. They would love that. So it took me a couple of seconds to do that,

and then she says, can I see your licence, please? So I pull out my licence, and she says, what are you doing up so early in the morning? Oh, okay. And I said, I'm going to work. And she said, oh, what do you do for work if you're getting up so early? And I. And I said, I'm going to work. And she said, oh, what do you do for work if you're getting up so early? And I told her I work on a breakfast radio show.

She's like, what show? I said, Fletch from the Megan on Saturday. Oh God, don't say us. Don't drag us into this. No, and then she said. You're like, I hate that show. But then, yeah, of course, she just deadpan. She's like, okay.

And I was thinking. Wait, but what did she say when you said that you worked on the show? Nothing. Nothing, deadpan. She just went, okay. So you don't take that as she doesn't like the show or she does like it? Maybe didn't even know about the show.

Oh, no, that's even worse. Marketing works. Didn't even say, you know, big fan. Didn't say, oh, don't listen to that show. Just completely just deadpanned it. Okay. And I mean, it threw me back. I do that thing when someone asks what you do for a job

and you say, I work on the radio, and they're like, oh, I don't listen to the radio. Don't have a radio. That's sort of the idea I got. Great, I don't obey the law. But I imagine if she's working at that time, she wouldn't be listening to the radio, right? She'd be listening to her comms.

Comms. Comms. Well, no, no, I've got a friend who's a policeman and they listen to the radio. Okay. Can you listen to both at once? Have the comms going and the radio? Probably, yeah.

Well, by her response, she obviously doesn't listen to ours radio. Okay. Can you listen to both at once? Have the comms going and the radio? Probably, yeah. Well, by her response, she obviously doesn't listen to ours. Right. But she looks at my licence and I asked why I got pulled over. What is the meaning of this inconvenience? Well, yeah, I just said, oh, what's been going on around here is I'm just wondering why I got pulled over. And she said,

there's been a lot of cars stolen in your area. I just wanted to check to see if this car was registered to you. So she wanted to see my licence and basically see if I'd stolen this vehicle. So that's also quite rude because she thinks your car is like a stolen car. It's a car that would be stolen.

I'd say it's pretty, it's on the cusp, I'd say. I would like it to be stolen. I don't know if I should say it on the radio. But yeah, she looked at my license. She put my number into the big iPhones that they have. Yep. And she said, oh, you're from Christchurch. I'm from Christchurch as well.

So we chatted about Christchurch, found a common ground. Yeah, right. And I won her over. Right, and then did she say, did she like the show at the stage? No, she didn't say anything else about the radio. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing that I mentioned. I worked on the show. Did she ask you what school you went to in Christchurch?

No, she didn't. It's a classic Christchurch question. I was waiting for that as well. She was obviously all business. I asked her again whereabouts the cars had been stolen. She couldn't tell me. That was confidential information. And then she sent me on my way

and this was my run in with the police. Did you send her off with a GoDaddy at the end? No, I mean if she maybe worked, if she maybe knew about the show, but might be a bit weird. Oh my god, imagine if she had listened to the show and she asked for a GoDaddy. Would that be a breach of police protocol? I don't know. I don't believe so, no.

Okay, well we should probably get a GoDaddy now because we're a breach of police protocol? I don't believe so, no. Okay, well, we should probably get a GoDaddy now because you're trying to tease us now. No. Yeah. I don't know if that's how it works. Okay, let's have a GoDaddy, James.

Let's have a little GoDaddy. Then we can move on. We need a mid-show GoDaddy. Sorry. That's at 7.30, guys. Everyone look away. Okay, don't look. GoDaddy. Yes. She would I won't look. Everyone look away. Okay, don't look. Go, Daddy.

Yes. She would have arrested you if you'd done that. Yeah, that would be good. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. And Jananya posted a very interesting Instagram picture yesterday. I know, because I saw this and I thought the same thing. I was like, who is this new friend that we don't know about? Who is this?

It's like when Megan talks about a new friend, I'm like, who? Like I know you're two friends. No, when I tell you I'm going to someone's wedding, you're like, I've never heard of them before. I haven't. They're not a new friend. You just don't pay attention to my life. And actually most of the time you've met them as well. Okay, yeah, maybe I'm just a terrible person.

Don't give them names. Describe to me what was happening at the time when I met them. Okay. You'd be like, wedding talker. I'd be like, I know that is because they talked a lot at the wedding. Yeah, okay. Relate them to how they affected me, and I'll be able to work out what human you're talking about.

Right. So, Intern Anya's got a new friend. So, you've made a new adult friend. Yeah, Right. So, Intern Anya's got a new friend. Yeah. So, you've made a new adult friend. Yeah, no big deal, guys. I don't need you anymore. Bye. What does your friend pay you?

No, but... Well, sit down. Sorry, everyone. And consider this your final warning. Oh, do you pay her? Yes, Megan, I do. From your bank account? Yes, I do, actually.

You're welcome. So how did this happen? Because we've talked on the show before about making adult friends. It's hard. It's weird and hard, isn't it? Yeah. Because it just doesn't happen once you've got your friends. That's it, isn't it?

It happened quickly. And then I woke up the next morning and I was like, was that real life? Because I took a couple of days leave a week and a half like, was that real life? Because, so I took a couple days leave a week and a half ago maybe. Went over to Melbourne to go and see some family. And was at the airport pretty early for my flight. Probably like too early, maybe two and a half

hours early. So fletch early. Fletch early. I'm in the like, POV domestic, not domestic, international lounge, but like not the bougie lounge. Right. Like, I'm just chilling in a... You went in a lounge?

No, that's what I mean. Like, I was just... The departure gate. The departure lounge. Oh, I think you meant one of those business lounges. No, like, I'm in the food... With, like, free champagne and stuff.

No, I'm in, like, the food court with the cushioned, uncomfortable chairs. Okay, right. That's where I'm at. Yeah. And this girl comes up to me and sits down,

like, maybe two seats away. And she was like, whew, that was stressful. And I was like, oh, what do you mean? And she had left her laptop at security. And kind of told me this quick yarn about how she went up and got it. And then the security guy made a joke like, I've just updated your Facebook status 15 times. And she was like, oh, you trickster.

So that was like a great opening line. Had a bit of light banter. Yeah. Then just started- Are you already feeling like best friend tingles at this stage? Like this could be the one for me, this person? Not at this stage.

Okay. But then we just started hitting it off and getting on really well. And I was like, do you want to get a margarita? What time was this? I thought you started with a wine as a sort of a rule of thumb. This was like maybe lunchtime

like 12 o'clock. Oh, okay, right. And she was like, hell yeah, should we get a carafe? And that was when I was like, this is it. Oh my, you shared a carafe. No, we got a carafe each. Wow, okay. Yeah, so then we had a carafe of margaritas each. We're just chatting away.

You're really going for that Tom Vodatovich vibe on a plane. Yeah, it was full noise. And then we go to the gate together because she's on my flight. So we work out about 10 minutes and we both go to Melbourne. Cool, hot, couple of gals off to Melbourne. Yeah. Then we go to the gate and they've got those massage chairs. And we're fully chopped at this point.

And I was like, let's go on the massage chairs. Yeah. And I had a couple of coins, so I shouted her a massage. Oh, my gosh. So we're there like jiggling away on these massage chairs. Wow. And then I was like, what seat are you in? And she was sitting next to me

on the plane oh fate this is fate this is fate fate or Jesus you tell me fate or Jesus let's go with fate

and yeah so then we got on the flight it was a Jetstar flight so no screens for us no inflated not even a water I mean that's not a surprise you did pay for that

and know it was happening that's true it was about $12.50, so that's fine. So we chatted the entire flight. We played hangman. We told each other our deepest, darkest secrets. And then we got on the Pinot Gris for $8 on the flight. And then yesterday, you caught up with her again,

now that you're both back, and had lunch. Yeah, so we've been messaging heaps on Instagram and sending each other memes. It's pretty cute. Okay,'ve been messaging heaps on Instagram and sending each other memes. It's pretty cute. Okay, now it's next level. You're sending each other memes. Oh my God, we're at meme level. Yeah, so we went out for lunch yesterday

and then while we were having lunch, she's like, should we go out on Saturday night? And I was like, yeah, girl. You don't like going out. Because she doesn't know that yet. She'll find out when we're at the club. Anya's been really excited about this because she told me all about it.

She's like, I've got a new friend. I really like her. We've been hanging out. Do you think she could be your new best friend? She could be. We've made jokes about how we're in love and, like, we're BFFs. What about Molly? Are you setting Molly free to reach her full potential?

You know, I still love Molly. I've got place in my heart for two. Hey. Don't you dare watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette with her. Okay? That's our thing. Megan feels threatened by this new friend already. This is great. I see that happen, I'm gonna

be dark. Okay. Could we take some stories because, you know, everyone has those stories about how they meet their partner or their husband or wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. They've always got that cute story, like Vaughn's, we met at the Outback. We did. True story, true story.

But what about those cute stories of how you met your best friend? Because you never hear those stories, eh? That's pretty cute. That's pretty cute, right? Like how did you meet your best friend? How did you meet your best friend? I don't have any friends.

Vaughn, what about you? How did you meet your best friend? I don't have like a best friend. I just have friends. I don't rank any friends. Fawn, what about you? How'd you meet your best friend? I don't have like a best friend. I just have friends. I don't rank them, yeah. Oh, okay. Am I one of your best friends? Yep. School, school, school. We met, we were forced to work together.

School, school, school, school, work. That would be my best friend. Line up. But maybe you've got a story like Anya's where it was like fate or Jesus that put you on the same jet staff like seated next to each other. Getting the words out today. Maybe it's a cute story like that. How did you meet your best friend?

Give us a call. 0800 DARS at M and you can text as well 9696. Taking your stories this morning on those moments you met your best friend. Because you always hear about how did you meet your partner? How did you meet your partner? How did you guys meet? But how did you meet your best friend?

And there are some super cute stories coming through. We got onto this internet and you went to Melbourne and met her new best friend. They got seated on a plane together. They had mugs together. Margaritas. Plot twist. Absolute plot twist.

She, this is already an article. Someone said, didn't Anya's new BFF write an article about this? Sinead in the city. Do you know? What is going on here, Anya? Do you know the headline to the article is, I fell in love on an Auckland flight to a dating app event. She fell in love with you.

Yeah, she's a writer for the Herald. So there you go. Friends in high love with you. Yeah, she's a writer for the Herald, so there you go. Friends in high places, guys. When was this published? 14th of November. Six days ago, she had some great content for the newspaper, and you brought nothing to the show. I mean, he's happy for you, but... I knew if I told

you guys, I already told Megan about it, but if I told you guys, you'd be like, ah, so you got one more friend. Wow, it's a total of two. That's not what we do. Molly and Sinead. Molly social handbrake. That's exactly what we literally did five minutes ago.

Yeah. Seems about fair though. But there are some cute texts coming through. How did you meet your best friend? Listen to this cute little Kev story. This is from Kev. I met... Oh, is he? Let's talk to Kev. Let's talk to Kev.

Kev, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. How did you meet your best friend? So my wife works for an early childhood centre. So I met both the boys through her. Yeah. What are they, four-year-olds boys through her. What are they four year olds Kev or are they

at school now? Yeah they're at school now. So yeah we sort of just sort of kicked it off really well. We drink spates probably every weekend. Oh Ke So, yeah, we went out and bought some spade singlets. Everything's spade. Oh, Kev. Yeah. We're matching three amigos.

Yeah. Yeah, we even got spade tattoos on our legs last Friday. Oh, Kev, that's just pretty cute. Do you have a favourite out of the two, Kev, or are you all equally best friends? We can't say that, no. No, we're all equally best friends.

You don't get spades tattoos with someone who's a second-rate mate. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice, Kev. Doesn't it? Do you ever just feel like a bloody Chardonnay, though, Kev? Like, does it always have to be spades? Oh, I'll drink out of a shitty club, but spades is my go-to. Spades is your go-to.

That's what brought you together. That's good. It's cute. That's cute. That's what we need more of. We do. This is what we want to hear this morning. How did you meet your best friends?

We're talking about how you met your best friend. Because you always remember how you met your partner, but you don't always, you know, celebrate how you met your best friend. So we're talking about that. Some text messages in on the subject. This is from a female. I got home after a few drinks around 7 p.m. to find people at my house drinking

and three extremely hot ladies I'd never met out on the deck with their skirts up taking a joint photo of their cute bums. And my boyfriend was taking the photo. Oh, okay. Immediately, I was like, woohoo, I'll join in. Pulled up my skirt and now there were four bums. And one of those bums was my now best friend, and she said that's how she knew I was on her vibe.

She said she expected me to be very angry, not excited at the possibility of joining in. Now we take dance classes together every week and have loads of sleepovers. That is not how I would react. No, if I'm honest. No, Mr Toyboy would be in the dog box if he was on the balcony taking photos of bums. Absolutely.

You've got to imagine many dudes who wouldn't be. My best friend's a paramedic. I met her when I fell down a flight of stairs. Are you allowed to have a patient paramedic relationship? Yeah.

I don't know. As long as you're not kissing, maybe. If you're not kissing, it probably doesn't matter. I met my best friend scuba diving. She laughed at me when a stingray chased me. That's how I knew that we were going to be BFFs forever. Well, yeah, you've got to be roasting each other.

That's how you know it's true love. Moana, how did you meet your best friend? So I worked in a pub in Cornwall in England and a lady walked in having some pinot gris. I decided to join her and a few weeks later, I picked up everything and moved across the country and lived with her for three and a half years and worked for her. What?

And you still keep in touch and you're besties to this day? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go visit her next year. I just left England at the start of this year. It was really cool. Aww. Do you miss her having moved home? Oh, so much. We were definitely ladies who worked hard and played hard.

We had lots of ladies at lunch. Ladies at lunch. Ladies who love lunches. I do ladies lunch. It's great. Yeah. Liquid lunch. Liquid lunch lunch. Ladies do love lunches. I do ladies lunch. It's great. Liquid lunch. Liquid lunches. Yeah, exactly.

Lots of fruit. Exactly. Lots of fruit. Makes you feel less guilty, doesn't it? Thanks for your call, Moana. She meant wine, by the way. You missed that. What she meant was lots of fruit.

She meant wine. Oh, wine. Okay, right. I thought you meant like pins and putting all the fruit in there. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a good balance too. I feel like you're getting your five plus a day, but it's not really. Rianne, how did you meet your best friend?

Hi. Hi. I moved up here to Auckland with like negative four friends in Auckland. Yep. And have now got a gang of gals called the Fun Gal Gang. Yeah. But we meet at least once a week for wine. Tonight we're doing bottomless dumplings.

Wait a minute. Hold on, sir. Whoa, whoa. We brushed up that too quickly. Do you need extra members? Help getting to the bottom? Where's bottomless dumplings? Where's bottomless dumplings?

Morton in St Helier's. Oh, bloody la. That was born as putting down a spoon so I can find a pen. What is that? Morton's. Morton's. Morton's. There's no way I paid advertising.

In fact, I want everyone not to go. I thought it was going to be like a dumpling place on Dominion Road or something. Yeah. No. That sounds very fancy. Those are going to be bougie dumplings place on Dominion Road or something. Yeah. No. But that sounds very fancy. Those are going to be bougie dumplings. They will be. All right.

But how did you meet these phone gal group? Yeah, so I first met one of them who is, I wouldn't say the best of the best, but you know. And we were in a graduate program together for a unnamed large building company. Okay. Fletches. Which I then got made redundant from. Okay.

And then kind of from there the whole relationship just flourished and then the start of this year, yeah, we got the three other gals along and we became

the fun gal gang. Cute. It's very cute. That's so cute. I'm real jealous. Bringing people together. It is. Rianne, thanks. You call some text

messages to finish up. Me and my now best friend tripped over the same tree trunk at the same time and that's how we knew. You both clumsy. That's pretty good. I knew my bestie was the one where she pushed a chair out and it made a fart noise and then she swept her hand in the air as though she'd actually farted. That was pretty good. I was like, I like

you. You're fun. I met my now best friend at a joint office party. She came out of the toilets and I had never seen her face before and she looked me straight in the eye and said, have you ever shat a whole mushroom? Oh, my God. And immediately I was like, I haven't, but I feel like you've got a great story to tell.

And she told me about how she just pooped out a whole mushroom. Did she not too? And ever since we've been best friends. I don't know but now there's a challenge if you can. A whole mushroom.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast. So I got told off yesterday at the supermarket. Do you know this is actually your fault.

I had so many messages about my nachos recipe yesterday. So, if you missed the show yesterday, Vaughn, you stumbled across a cheeseburger nacho mistake. You made cheeseburger nachos. Yeah. So, for those that missed it, you get the new Waddy's. Is it Waddy's?

Waddy's, yeah. Have this new burger sauce. Which is like the Big Mac sauce. Is it a rip off of the Big Mac sauce? No, it's better because it's got teeny tiny little chunks of pickles in it. Right, gherkins and pickles. Yeah. So the idea was you'd make mince nachos and then you add the sauce on top

and it's when you're eating it, it's like you're eating cheeseburgers. Yeah, you add pickles. So you put onions in the Yeah, you add pickles so you put onions in the pan you cook them you cook the mince you add in some tomato-y stuff

whatever you want. Like you do for nachos. Yeah, yeah. And then you chop up and add pickles to the nacho nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then

melt a whole lot of cheese onto the chips melt a whole lot of cheese onto the other stuff put them together that's when you drizzle on the Waddy's burger sauce

classic it's got pickles on the front yeah but they do like a sriracha one and stuff as well and a smoky one

yeah but I didn't do those ones because the kids would be like calm down you drama queens well so yesterday this is when I got

told off in the supermarket I had your shopping list on my phone yes because you told me everything I need, and I went around the supermarket, and the last thing I needed in the same aisle, the pickles, the gherkins, and the sauce.

Yes. So there I am at the pickles. Essentials. Now also- That's what makes it, this is what takes it from standard nachos to a cheeseburger. I didn't think you were a pickles fan. I don't mind pickles.

Right. And this is when I got told off is I was, because I invited my friend over because we had plans. So I was like, well, I'll make cheeseburger nachos. Great plan. But he hates gherkins and pickles. Like we've been to McDonald's. Why bother being friends with him?

Yeah, an absolute deal breaker. And this was the thing is I got a giant jar of pickles for $2.50. And I had it in my hand and I was like, this is going to be funny. I'm going to message him and say, I'm making these tonight and I'm just going to grind them up and you're just going to eat them. Because it's cheeseburger nachos. That's what you said here, Gerds. I'm just like literally like just, I'm about to give him a bit of shit. Yeah.

Bit of a roast. So I take a photo. In the palm of my hand is this giant jar of gherkins. Yeah. And I take a photo. And then from behind me, this woman's like, you can't do that. Excuse me. You can't take a photo.

And I'm like, turn around. And it's a woman from Countdown in her polo. She's stacking the shelves next to it. And I'm like, what? Are you kidding? Are you joking? She's like, no, it's store policy. It's countdown policy.

You can't take photos in our supermarket. And I said, but it's like, I'm just messaging a jar of gherkins to my friend about dinner tonight. She's like, no, we've got cameras. Cameras, you can't do that. Put your phone away. And I'm just like,

and these two European tourists were next to me and they were just laughing, and I was laughing. And I was like, what are you talking about? It's a photo of a jar of gherkins. Like, it's not industrial espionage. I'm not from New World looking at your gherkins. And if I was, I could just look online anyway. Because I always take photos of, like, which sauce would you like.

I know, yeah, that's the one. I get photos all the time. Sade's like, what hot sauce do you want? And it's just all of the hot sauces. Well, according to this woman in Countdown, you can't do that. And I want to know what possible,

like I can understand being told off and I would never take a photo of a random person or staff member. I would never do that because you've got to respect people's privacy. So I wouldn't do that. So I can understand if I was being told off for, hey,

you can't take photos of our shoppers, that I understand. So I wouldn't do that. So I can understand if I was being told off for, hey, you can't take photos of our shoppers. That I understand and I wouldn't do that. But taking a picture of a jar of gherkins or any food item to say to someone, do you want this for dinner or whatever? You're not allowed to do that? Like, what possible reason is there? Somebody said that this happened to them once and they were told

it was to prevent stores from stealing prices to price match. But that's stupid. You could just text message. You could be walking and be like, um, pickles. And then the brand,

$2.99. Or they could just walk in and look for themselves. I hardly had a spreadsheet writing down the price of every item. And by the way, spoiler alert countdown,

all your prices are online. Yeah, it's on your shopping website. So that can't be right. And don't put your staff in that awkward position where they have to tell people off. Because I wasn't pissy at her, but I also was a bit sassy. Because I was like, what are you talking about?

What about when, like my fitness pal, you always scan barcodes and stuff. Well, not allowed to do that. Someone said when they worked at the supermarket, it was to stop people taking photos of nasty products. Like if you were taking a photo of the gherkins, because in the gherkin you could see a human

thumb. Well, don't have gherkins with a human thumb. They do their best to keep the stock at the highest quality, but sometimes it looks like a pickle. Yeah, right. But yeah, I'm just like, why would you tell off a customer for doing something that isn like, isn't bad?

Like, it's just mind-blowing. I was just like, it's a jar of gherkins. And then I couldn't even find the burger sauce you were talking about because it had sold out and there were other people next to me. They were like, well, where's the burger sauce? And they were looking for the burger sauce. And then I was real, I flustered and I was a bit grumpy, so I put the jar of gherkins back in another aisle,

like this toothpaste aisle. Just to like show them. She would have known it was you. She actually would have because I was probably the only person with that giant jar of gherkins. And I've got the photo evidence that I had that too and she probably could lift my fingerprints too. So I wouldn't be surprised if they pressed

charges for putting the jar of gherkins. Well they seem pretty, I don't know, bizarre. Anyway, that was why I got told and I thought it was bizarre. Somebody said they got told off in the produce department for sending a picture of an eggplant and the person said, I know why you're sending that picture. Stop that.

Put that down. No pictures. I know why you're sending that. I've actually also done that. Somebody also says, I work at Countdown. That's not a policy. That's just a rogue team member. Someone's gone rogue there. Nah, come on. She was pretty.

Someone got called out for it at Pack and Save. I was just trying to make sure I got the right source, and I got an absolute chune up on aisle seven. That's the thing. I'm always checking I'm getting the right thing. But do you know airlines, there are a lot of American-based airlines and some airlines around the world that have banned you filming on their flights because they don't want people filming their shitty service.

Well, don't have shitty service. It's like, don't have shitty service and then no one can film anything. Like, we're on a plane, we're going to film out the window. Like, chill out. Someone said their job used to be to walk around and steal prices. But you just...

But now you don't need to. You look online, don't you? Snap a pic and send it off. And just don't have high prices. Just make them low, maybe. That's another idea. I don't need to. You look online, don't you? Snap a pic and send it off. And just don't have high prices. Just make them low maybe. That's another idea. I don't know. Just an idea.

Yeah, I got told off. Do you think I should get a written apology from them? I mean, I don't know if it's that serious. I don't know. You've gone in on them. I feel hurt. You've gone in on them as a company winner. It's probably just one woman.

Having a bad day. So I don't know. I think, well, should we call it even? Okay. All right. Fine. Next on the show. and having a bad day. So I don't know. I think, well, should we call it even? Okay, all right, fine. Next on the show, the police have been having a snoopy.

Well, they shouldn't have been. Really? This has got some official information stats for you next. They've been looking up some CLEBs. Okay. What about them? I don't know. Just to see where they live.

Maybe their license plates. I don't know. Yeah to see where they live. Maybe their license plates. I don't know. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I, this is another reason why I couldn't be a police officer. Because the police do audits on their police officers to see who has misused the National Intelligence Application,

which is the NIA database. So all the information about all of us is on this computer. So it says just over 40% of the population appear in the NIA with alerts against their names. So that could range from flags for firearms

licence holders right up to serious offences. That means you'd have a flag because don't you have a licence? My item is expired. Right. Okay. So yeah, I never got it. That means you'd have a flag because don't you have a licence? My item is expired. Right. Okay. So, yeah, I never got it renewed. And I don't have a gun, so.

So, they do random audits on about 90 users, on about 90 police officers and the like, to see how they've been using the database. So, the supervisor will review every transaction with the user, say a police officer. Right. And they have to explain or justify their actions. So if they search, like say for example, they meet someone on Tinder and they're like, well, I better just search this person

to make sure they're not crazy. They couldn't do that because that's not a reason to search the database. No, I don't think so. Like they've got to be investigating them for a crime. Yeah. So they'd have to say, like, I was investigating this person for a crime. Here's the case.

Yeah, right. Yada, yada kind of thing, right? Yeah. Okay. Not just using it to see. Yeah, right. See, if I was a policeman and I wanted to search, like, friends or celebrities, I'd just wait until Constable Keith was in the toilet and left his computer logged in

and I'd just searched it on his quickly and then when he came back, closed the screen and then I would have searched the info but he'll get done for it. Yeah. Perfect crime. That's only going to look worse for Keith. I didn't search that, check the security cameras.

Yeah, and then you get done. You're sneaking in there. Nah, because I only record for 10 days, I'm in the clear. This happened last year. Oh, my God. Okay. So, yeah, there's been random audits on a selection of police staff, but also celebrities who were in the media. So the New Zealand police have been searching, like, what, famous All Blacks and stuff?

It doesn't say. So the police have not specified what qualified as a celebrity in their eyes. And they haven't said who was searched. No. Because have you ever been like, I wonder how much like that all black gets paid? What? 100%. They couldn't say.

That's the IRD. That's the IRD. Yeah. I would, if I had any kind of access to public records, I would be searching everyone and then I would be fired. I'd be in so much trouble. Yeah. But again, do it on someone else's computer when they go for

a toilet break. Yeah. And wear a dark hoodie so it could be anyone. Wear a scream mask and carry a knife just in case someone comes in. I mean, that's not going to stand out in an office load of people, is it? No. Megan, why are you dressed up in a screen mask and a black hoodie?

I'm just doing a search on Paul Fletcher. Don't tell everybody, Megan. And then you print it off and it goes to their printer and then they go to their printer and they've got all the printoffs of people. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is the origin of the term cooties.

Ooh, you've got cooties. Ooh, girls have cooties. So it's actually really like 100 years ago. Oh, wow. This is how long cooties has been around. Because in World War I, there was birds called coots that lived by the trenches where trench warfare was being fought. And the lice on the coots really liked the trench conditions. And the World War I soldiers in those trenches were often infested with the lice from the

coots. And they called them cooties. Oh, you've got cooties. Yeah. Oh, that's actually quite gross. I never knew where that came from. So, yeah, it was lice. So that's why when you think cooties, you do think sort of a small lice-type creature, I guess.

I never actually imagined what cooties would be. It was always just synonymous with gross. Oh, really? Gross germ, yeah. Yeah, just being gross. It was just like, you've got germs, yuck. I always thought of it as like a little flea-esque creature. So I never did this, but reading more about Cooties,

apparently you get a pen, like I've got here actually, and you click the pen and you go circle, dot, circle, dot. Now you've got your cootie shot. No, I've never done that. And then other regional, so this is all around the world, line, line, dot, dot, operations, cootie shot. And then they pop the pin out and stab you in the arm. Oh, I feel like I remember that one.

Pinch, pinch, dot, dot, here is your cootie shot. Bang. And they'd whack you in the arm with a retractable pen. Yeah, I feel like I had one of those. You had a cootie shot? Yeah. Good, well you're immune. And one that you've done where you've done those bloody anti-vaxxers, not vaccinating their kids against the cootie shot. But yeah, after it

became a, in World War I people would actually have the cooties. It just became part of sort of like a common phrase is that you could the cooties, it just became part of sort of like a common phrase is that you could catch cooties. Now, I don't know how women seem to be tarnished with the cooties because it was always like when I was growing up, it was always like girls had cooties.

Yeah, but that's because you're a boy. To us, boys had cooties. Yeah, but boys did have cooties because they were in the trenches in World War I, so that's totally understandable. They came back from World War I. It's just the opposite sex. Oh yeah,

don't touch me, you're Curtis. But actually, can you touch me? Can we play Catch and Kiss later? Oh yeah, Curtis,

kiss me again. Yeah, I've already got Curtis now so I might as well go up to the girls and be like, good news ladies, I've already got Curtis.

Do you sound sexually aggressive in the playground? She was very charged. Oh, you. You sound sexually aggressive in the playground. She was very charged. You. She was very charged in the playground. So today's fact of the day is the origin of cooties was a lice from the

coot bird that you got in World War I. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day, day. A lot of gossip websites were saying that Cody Simpson and Miley Cyrus are over. I was just trying to find exactly when they were first put together. They've been friends for years. Yeah. So he's been chipping away at this for a while, as you do.

Sure, Shank. Yeah. I think it was the start of October, but then it's only been like six weeks. A month and a half. Five weeks. Two months only been like... I'd say it would be a month and a half. Five weeks. Two months, absolute max. I'd say six weeks. So there's reports floating that they are not living together anymore and that they

need some time apart. And wasn't he overheard on a phone call saying she was hard work? When he was at a swimming pool, because he's a swimmer, he was saying that they've been finding a lot and... Yeah. I mean, don't've been finding a lot and yeah. I mean, don't talk about that stuff publicly when you're dating Miley Cyrus. Yeah, yeah. But then there's other reports saying that they are fine.

But she was like this with her previous, when she had the girlfriend for like, what was that, two or three months? Yeah. Not even that long. Hot burn. Hot burn. She's a hot burner.

Hot burn. And then, yeah, needs to take some time out. And have they moved in together? Yeah. Have they or have they? Because there is one report that they're not,

that they haven't split. Yeah. So a lot of reports overnight that they have and then one like, no, they're still together. Yeah. So I don't know

what's going on there. Maybe he's just not living at the house at the moment. But they had moved in together. Yeah, and that house is just down from Liam Hemsworth building his old house. Do you think she would have put him on the car insurance within six weeks? Probably. How old is he?

I don't know. He's 22. Oh, no. No, no, no. Under 25 premium. But then she's under 25. She's 26. Oh, well. No, no, no. Under 25 premium. But then her, she's under 25. She's 26. Oh, well, no, no.

She's moved into the golden zone of car insurance. She'd be a fool to put a 22-year-old on her insurance. He can get his own car and that can be his own problem. But we've all got those friends who are hot burners that after a couple of weeks, someone's on the insurance, someone's moved in, they're engaged, they're engaged or even married within a few months. Do you think they're just not telling us

because they don't want everyone to be like, hmm, saw that coming. Slow it down. Maybe, maybe. Just keep it quiet that they've kind of gone their separate ways. At the same time, she's just living life. She can do what she wants. Yeah, who cares?

If she wants him to move in after a week, who cares who are we to judge? Yeah. But I mean, we will anyway. We're humans and I think it's what we do. Yeah, exactly. But everybody's got a hot burner, a mate that's a hot burner.

Or maybe you'd like to dob yourself in. You can call us on 0800.ZM or text 9696. The examples of the hot burner in your life. This is a person, like we've just explained, who gets into a relationship and immediately just cranks it. It's all, it's zero to a hundred.

Or nothing. Very, very quickly. And then it's over as quickly as it all begun. So, but how quickly did someone get engaged that you know? Yeah. And like, was it over like soon after that? That kind of stuff. Talking about those hot burners,

those people that get in relationships, maybe you want to dob your friends in or yourself, get in relationships, zero to a hundred very fast. Hot burners are those people that get in relationships. Maybe you want to dob your friends in or yourself. Get in relationships. Zero to 100 very fast. Hot burners. Somebody said that they've got a friend and she falls in love with guys before she's even met them in person. Yep.

The worst scenario was that before she'd even met this guy and been on a date with him, she was practicing what her name would look like written down with his last name and i feel like that's something caitlin would do absolutely not do not put me no i would not do that you would you're right you would whatever i'm turning here i used to do that at school but not like not now you're grown up hey it'll be weird you're married Why have you gone all red and embarrassing? Because I was yelling and I forgot to breathe. That'll happen.

Someone said, my sister is such a hot burner, she basically overlaps them, has literally moved out of one guy's house into another guy's house. Cheaper rent though, so. Yeah, I can understand that. Mel, you are admitting that you are the hot burner. Yeah, yeah.

Give us some examples, Mel. So, like the last year and a half, I'd spent 12 years with my daughter's father and then left that relationship and then pretty much straight away was with another person, moved that

person in. Yep. And then, like, six months later, we split up. I got engaged out of anger and got this guy's name tattooed on my freaking neck. And so, and the best thing is, is the name is Jeff, right? So my friends are still sending me my name is Jeff memes on Facebook. Jeff's not even a sexy name to have in a tattoo. It's not.

It's like an accountant's name. It's like it's up there with clients. But anyway, so I've got this massive dreamcatcher tattoo. My daughter's like, oh, I love your dreamcatcher. I'm like, yeah, baby, I've got that for you. and in the meantime it's just a cover-up because I was an idiot and then he proposed and then I was like no I can't do this and so I ran and I was like bye and then I got back with my ex yeah and then I was like why haven't you proposed and so he did and then I was like, why haven't you proposed? And so he did. And then I was like, oh, shit, bye.

And so he left. Oh, Mel. What? This was three weeks ago. And I'm just like, I can't. I think I have a commitment with commitment phobia. Like, I can't do it. Right, okay. Well, the first step is recognising it.

It is. Yeah, it is. It is. You can have a look at it. So have you got out of that one then mal have you said no oh no no i have obviously but the thing is it's like i figured out it's pre-carm karma um like i spent 12 years with a person so now i'm just like um i don't know if I can do it again. That's a lot of training, eh? I can't do that again.

Well, good luck, good luck. I'm going to have to find someone with OCD or I'm just going to have to turn lesbian. It's one or the other. Jesus. I love you, Mel. You're great. Two options, for sure.

That's definitely your only two options. Mel, thank you for sharing. Thanks for your calls and more text messages. Really? Was that not enough? I don't think so. That wasn definitely your only talk show. Mel, thank you for sharing. Thanks for your call some more text messages. Really? Was that not enough? I don't think so. That wasn't enough for you? Leave her alone.

It was plenty. No, I'm not saying it's not. I was just saying it was a lot. Yeah. I don't think we're going to top it. Finish on your strongest. Okay, fair enough. All right.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music. Live here. ZM.