ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 22 2018

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

Fletch was not happy about his supermarket tasting, Today in NCEA and my pet is so fat that...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello there and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, where you can get a new Nokia on a prepaid rollover pack starting from $19. Now, on with the podcast. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Hayden. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I won't be putting up my Pamanui Beach house for emergency accommodation. It's a tax write-off. It's a B&B or Airbnb. It's not a place for people to go if their house gets washed away.

If you did have a parvenu in Beach House, we would all be down there. You would certainly not be. Unless you were paying a premium. You were saying if you had a Beach House, you wouldn't give it to Megan and I free for the weekends. I wouldn't imagine so, no. What happened to you?

We're now at Fletch, Mike and Megan. Mike Hosking. Do you reckon the hosk wouldn't share? Share? No. That's why I'm calling you here. Oh, right, that's why you're calling the hosk. Well, this is a hypothetical Pawanui Beach House. Well, if I had a hypothetical Pawanui Beach House, I'd let you stay, Megan,

for free. Yeah, but I just know you're lying to sound good. At least for telling the truth. No, I would totally would. Obviously off-peak. Absolutely off-peak. And if there was no booking.

And just pay me an abollogen. Yeah. But who's picking up that tab? In the emergency. In the Airbnb civil defence. Well, I'm guessing the taxpayer would. They'd just pay for it.

Maybe. What tab? You're just, like, giving someone a roof. No, but, like, that could cost you, if you had a house and you were renting it out and paying the bills with it, paying its bills with it, and then they're like, we're commandeering. You know, it's in like in the movies

where they're like, please, I'm commandeering your vehicle. I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. I need this. Go get that other one. There you go, the people who get their cars back. That's the greater good one. It's just a lot of admin. Or let's see what happens in a civil defence emergency when you need an Airbnb.

Don't put it that way. I bet you're getting upset about your hypothetical beach house that doesn't exist. I'd be there though. I'd be like, all right, no. Who left their towel on the floor? Out. Out.

And there's sand everywhere. Oh, that's what the shower outside's for. It's got a ream gas hot water part on it because I didn't want to get cold after I'd been jet skiing up the waterways. Again, this is all hypothetical. I love that your hypothetical house has a hot water outside shower. Oh, of course it does.

God, you've changed, Vaughn. You've changed. I shan't be wealth shamed. I shan't be hypothetically wealth shamed. Your dreams are getting so much more expensive. They're getting crazy. I know, they're getting... I'm running myself into a lot of hypothetical debt. Yeah. Alright, the top six

is coming up on the show. It's 10 years since Twilight came out. Caitlin, that's upside down love. Caitlin, what does that mean? 10 years ago. Did you go in love? She was trying to plug my laptop into the thing but she was plugging it in upside down. Cletch, 10 years ago, I was 18. That's all that that means.

Good Lord, 10 years. You were quite shocked, though, that Twilight is 10 years old. I know. Where's Jacob now? What's he doing? I might go Google. What's his actual name? Taylor Lautner.

Taylor Lautner. Yeah, I don't know, actually. So 10 years ago, it came out, and today's top six is the six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, I've got three news headlines for three news stories I've found online that are interesting, unusual, quirky, or odd, and or both. Okay. Odd, odd.

Odd, odd. Weird, both. Sometimes. Sometimes. One. Something like that. Yeah. Odd, odd. Weird, both. Sometimes. Sometimes. One. Something like that. Yeah. All right, pick one of the following three.

Adidas, Nike, run foul of the law. Headline two, Secret Santa lay-bys. And headline three, man loses paper scissors rock gun. Oh, paper scissors rock gun. Briefly on the Secret Santa lay-bys, we're doing a Secret Santa with people that listen to the podcast. Somebody organised a little podcast group, our podcast, a Secret Santa.

And Anya, did you guys get internationals or did you get... I got local. I don't want to give mine away. No, you don't just have to say what country. Oh, okay, New Zealand. You got someone in New Zealand. Me too. Was it just Anya and I that got international?

You got international as well. Yeah. So Anya and I got something all packaged up, took it to the mail room to see how much it was going to cost. Mine was going to cost $95, to which I was like, hold it there to market. Absolutely no need. Anya's, how much?

$200 and... Yeah, $203. And she showed me it. It was just like a shoebox and it weighed nothing. Yeah. Were you selecting some kind of super fast, you know, fast post? No, I was posting rocks overseas and apparently, you know, they don't want to go for that.

Posting rocks in a shipping container. Yeah, very heavy stuff. So did they send you an invoice and like, you know, they don't want to go for that. Posting rocks in a shipping container. Yeah, very heavy stuff. So did they send you an invoice and like, you're going to pay for this? No, because we were going to send it and then she was like, hey, I just wanted to double check. Yeah, but we're not paying for it, are we? No, but it wasn't.

There's absolutely no way it's going to go without like, the mail room, things get sent around here and it's like $4 to courier things and $7. They're going to see like 290 and be like, who are these people? Then we're going to get in some weird meeting with the mailroom. Buy it on Amazon or whatever. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do now. Ticket is a gift and it's free shipping in whatever country you're sending to.

The person who I got is not getting what they want. You've had to change. Yep. Right. I got them what they wanted, but I got is not getting what they want. You've had to change. Yep. Right. I got them what they wanted but now they're not getting what they want. Because what they wanted

isn't available in their neck of the woods. Right. Look, I'm sure people will understand. $90? $90? That's ridiculous.

$200? Absolute insanity. You know, to put it into perspective, you can get something shipped to New Zealand I've been looking into this Because of the

Right of lawmower thing One cubic metre So that's a metre By a metre by a metre Metre high Metre wide Metre deep So you can fit a lot in there

Yep Thousand dollars Well that's cheaper Than a one way airfare How long does that take To get there Weeks But you could probably get

The whole family In one of those Um Nah For a thousand dollars Let's say you'd go Just yourself Yep A toilet weeks. But you could probably get the whole family in one of those. Um, nah. For $1,000. So you'd go just yourself. Yeah. A toilet.

Yeah. And some food. Oh, right. Okay. You'd run a toilet. And maybe your partner. Yeah, maybe. If you're really comfortable

being in tight spots with them. Right. If you've been like camper vanning or something. Okay, well do you, what story do you want? Um, the third one I remember

Megan being like, ooh. Paper Scissors Rock Gun. Yeah. Paper, scissors, rock, gun. Yeah. Yeah, man, man, loser. So you don't want that one? That's not the one where he accidentally

shot his wife cleaning the gun. No. Oh, that's a different one. I did read that story though. That's sad. Yeah. Stop Googling also.

Sorry. Completely ruining it. Story one or two then? I liked, what was one? Adidas Nike run foul of the law. You go on. Run. Is that a pun there?

Foul. Maybe. Maybe. Something to do with chickens. We go now to the, I don't even know how the hell you would say this town or city. The O-U-A-C-H-I-T-A. Ochita? Ochita?

The Ochita Parish Sheriff's Office. Says that SCAT offices, that's an acronym. SCAT offices? S-C-A-T. I don't know what that stands for. Special. Super cool. Special cool. Super cool. Team. A-te know what that stands for. Special. Super cool. Special cool.

Super cool. Team. A team. Asset team. Super cool asset team. Washita. Washita. Is that how you say it? Oh, because it'll be a Mexican or a Spanish name. Washita. Officers there pulled over

some suspects during a traffic stop. They found 32 grams of marijuana, four ecstasy tablets, and Xanax. They also had a handgun in the vehicle. And they have charged the people and arrested them. One of them called Adidas Nike Brown. Oh, okay. Wow. That's hence the headline, Adidas Nike runs foul of the law

Right Yes Adidas Nike Brown Yeah What was the other guy's name? Just Lemire Turner Lemire Lemire Turner

And Adidas Nike Brown It would have been better if it was like New Balance Yeah New Balance Perman Brown What an unusual name. Yeah. How old do they look? Mid-20s.

Right, okay. 20, yeah, 26 and 26. Yep. Okay. A couple of 26-year-olds named after shoes. Well, one of them named after shoes. Yeah. But obviously couldn't decide between two major brands.

No. Because some people don't like that because I'll wear my Adidas sneakers with like a Nike sweat or top. What are you supposed to go all for one?

One for all. Oh, you can't mix them. Megan? No. Do you want? Definitely can. F.M. What chores did you

have to do when you were little? I remember making us do the vacuuming and it sucked. We would never did the vacuuming. Good pun.

Never did the vacuuming. Burning the rubbish and mowing the lawn. Burning the rubbish. So if anyone's to blame for the hole in the ozone layer. It's you. Which I think is all good now. It's healing itself. It's healing like a scab. And my parents still burn the rubbish, so that wasn't them.

Right, okay. They burn less plastics though. They recycle the plastics now. I used to love burning the plastics because it would get going and it would be like... Little things would drip off. Yeah, again, we shouldn't be burning those. No, again. We'd have to do chores around the house.

Or like when we got back from school, we'd always have to peel the potatoes. Oh, we had to peel the potatoes too. So mum could come home and then... Potatoes every day. Put them in water. Remember having to peel the potatoes? Yeah, we always did. Maybe we did because I remember if you peeled them

but didn't have them straight in a pot of water, they'd go brown. Yeah, and the water. And the water. Yeah, mum's like, you haven't put enough water on the top of them. And oh, get the washing in. Oh, I hate it when you get the washing in.

Mum would come home and it would start getting all damp because it had been out too long. I'd be like, you can't reach. But we had one of those ones you could wind down. So it made it shorter. Yeah. Well, Dyson. Just swing on ours and get our asses kicked.

Dyson is now selling 22 pound vacuums specifically for children. So that's like $50, right? Just under 50 bucks. My kids have got a pretend vacuum. They loved it. So that's like $50, right? Just under 50 baht. 22 pounds. Yeah. My kids have got a pretend vacuum. They loved it. Maybe getting a bit old for it now, but they loved it. This isn't pretend.

This actually works. This will actually suck up the shit on the floor. Right. So because like kids are... I wouldn't run over shit with it. Make a real mess. Kids are pretending to vacuum. So their argument is why not just actually make it so they can vacuum? God, Dyson make good vacuum.

Have you seen that they're not even making cord vacuum cleaners anymore? Yeah, that's what these... They've made their stick ones so good that's all you need. So this is a stick one? This is a fancy pants stick one. And I was thinking I'm short, so I could just pay $50 for a Dyson. You could own a Dyson for...

Yeah, because normally they're like hundreds of dollars. Yeah. I've actually seen them do some influencing work, Megan. Play your cards right. You could put up a few Instagram posts. I've tried. How many times have we talked about it and how much we love them?

Well, yeah, because Mike Hosking. No, his is purely on love. He paid for it. What? His is purely on love. He paid for it. What? His is purely on love, apparently. Never paid a dime. Really? Never been paid to promote it.

Never given him a free one to be like, wow. Well, maybe like the work one. Right, okay. But it's all for the love of a good vacuum because he's like a clean freak. Right. Whereas everybody else who's seamlessly working and vacuuming into their social media,

they're probably doing it in exchange for free vacuums. Yeah. Well, this one's small, it's cheap, and it's lightweight so the kids can do it and not be like,

it's so heavy. And then they've made it easy so they can empty it as well. Well, if you've got kids, great Christmas present idea because then they can also clean the house. I'm sure they'll love it.

The Top Six with Vaughn Smith Today's Top 6 deals with the fact That it's 10 years Since Twilight came out The first movie Yeah the first movie in the franchise 10 years since that came out That's scary I know the franchise 10 years since that came out. That's scary.

I know. So I thought today's top six would be the top six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out. It's 2008. It was a different time. We. I was in high school. Bullshit. Good one.

I was worried about my exams. You might have been out of high school But the teacher was like You can't be here What are you? Trolling for your next boyfriend Your husband was So wasn't he?

Yeah Yeah he was Was he? Was intermediate Oh yeah Well I mean he was still in the school system Yeah I mean the important thing is he was learning.

He was at high school. He would have been 14. Okay. Just sneaking in there. Okay. Just sneaking in there. So the top six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out. Number six, sparkly vampires.

How stupid. I wonder if I'd look good as a sparkly vampire. Vampires aren't supposed to be in the sun. Oh my God, that's where they live in Seattle, all the sunlight hours. I wonder if I'd look good as a sparkly vampire. Number five on the list of the top six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out.

Based on a book by Stephanie Meyer. Man, I bet she's got some great work ahead of her outside of the Twilight series. Nope, but she's worth $130 million this year. So jokes on this guy. I was just Googling to see how much she's worth. 130 mil as of October 2018. Because it was fan fiction, wasn't it?

No, no, no. Fifty Shades was fan fiction of Twilight. That's right. Edward was Christian Grey and getting all kinky. Anastasia was Bella Swan. Yeah, that was the idea. It started as fan fiction. But it was the book that was still rubbish.

How much is she worth now? Who? E.L. James. E.L. James that wrote it. Imagine if she's worth more than... Who tried to read that book? 80 million. 80 million. Well, I'm glad she's not worth more than Stephanie Meyer

because she just did a little rip it off. But then when it came to like official release and stuff... Yeah. She had to change the names for copyright reasons. An old woman have been reading very filthy erotic literature ever since. Number four on the list of the top six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out. Okay, this movie sucks, but the soundtrack isn't too bad.

The soundtrack was legit. It was. I hope no one heard me say that. What did you say? I was just saying that the Twilight soundtrack isn't too... No, bro, bro, bro. Totally, man. Totally, man. Totally, man.

I get it. What did you two say? Oh, we were just saying that the Twilight soundtrack isn't too bad. Dude, fail. Because I looked up what were buzzwords in 2008 and apparently fail was like the big buzzword of 2008. Wow. Fail.

Not as much fun as it was then. No. Fail. Number three on the list of the top six things you all thought 10 years ago when Twilight came out. God, if I had two supernatural hot boy options on the Simrad, I'd at least have a bloody smile on my face, Kasey. She is still mopey, eh? Don't tell her to smile.

Come on. How could you not see bloody Jacob? She had a lot of, like, there was a lot going on in her life. You know? Right. Like, her love of her life was a vampire. You try and deal with that. And the other one, she finds out it's a bloody werewolf.

Werewolf, yeah. Like, oh, God. Still, though, tough problems. I'd be like, what's the logistics on a Supernatural three-way? One's hot all the time but sparkles in the sunlight. The other's hot summertime and the other time's like a bit growly. No, she might be a furry. What's Taylor Launter doing now?

Good question. I'll Google. Okay. Why is it coming up purple? Have you already Googled that? You've already clicked that link. Piss off. Number two on the list of the top six things

we all thought 10 years ago. He's 26 now. Piss. What? He's older than that, isn't he? I remember he was insanely young when this came out. He was like 18. No, he must have been 16.

No, he could have been 16. No, he could have been 16. He must have been 15. No. It says 26. Yuck. I'm never going to watch those the same again. He was ripped, I remember, for a young dude. He could have been 15.

In the first one, it wasn't too much about him so much. He really came into his own in the second one. With the shirt off and it rained on him and stuff. What? What? What? You've gone quiet. I'm just looking.

Is that his Instagram? Yeah, he's on Instagram. Yeah, right. A lot of those look like throwbacks. Is he blown out? No. Don't. Not really, no.

Okay, no, he's still looking good. Still looking good. Good. Number two on the list of the top six things we all thought 10 years ago when Twilight come out. This will be the best movie franchise ever. Like, there's no way these movies can go downhill.

Spoiler alert. Yeah. The movies went downhill. No, they didn't. The second one was literally the worst movie I've ever seen. The second one was rubbish. It was so bad, I sat through it. Like, I was like, it's got to get better.

It's just got to get better. It's got to the end. I was like, what? Terrible. And the number one thing we all thought six years ago, sorry, ten years ago when Twilight came out, number one, sure, you can have your team, Edward, or your team, Jacob, but I'm team Carlisle Cullen.

That vampire daddy is a vanny. What? You can buy me any time. A vanny. A Cullen. That vampire daddy is a vanny. What? You can bite me anytime. A vanny. A vanny. A vampire daddy. That's a vampire daddy. Yeah.

Yeah. Vanny. Don't. He's got his own fan club. Vanny. Oh, vanny. Please stop. Oh, vanny.

Come on. That's today's topic. Come on, Addie. Please stop. Oh, it's so funny. Come on. That's today's topic. Come on, stop it. Are you one of those people that name their cars because apparently 58% of New Zealanders do? Higher than I would have thought it would be. That probably kind of stacks up on this show, right? Yeah, your old car that got crashed into,

that was Bridget. That car, wasn't it? Yeah, Bridget. R.I.P. Bridget. That car, wasn't it? Yeah, Bridget. R.I.P. Bridget. R.I.P. My new one's called Lemon. I was going to say, you buying, because you're a friend of the show, Maddie McLean, we're the presenter.

They lent you the yellow car. Yeah. But you've bought it. I've bought it. She's mine now. It's a tiny little biscuit tin. What is it? It's like a faded yellow.

It's a Honda Fit. Yeah, Lemon. There's It's like a faded yellow. It's a Honda Fit. Yeah, lemon. There's better names. What about like Rubber Ducky? No. I wanted to give it a human name because before Bridget I had Donald. But then lemon's her name. What about Ducky?

Lemon's cute. Ducky. Ducky. No, lemon. I like lemon. Buttercup. Lem-Lems. No, that's dumb.

Buttercup. I've got her a buttercup It's called lemon Rename No you can't rename I don't think I can rename You can't rename your hair I just side note

I can't believe You have a yellow car SpongeBob No SpongeBob That's why we call you a cat That's not chic That's not chic

No It's so chic It's not SpongeBob has stood the test of time It's such a cultural... SpongeBob is such a little... No. There's nothing chic about that.

You don't name your car. Vaughn? No, I don't. No, I just call it the Honda. Or the Hyundai. I've got Ruby. It's actually got a sticker on the back that says her name. Ruby.

And then we've got Chilby. And then we had Gigi. What's Chilby? The chili bin. The G. Oh, yeah, because it does look like a chili bin. Chili bin. That says Chilby's a great name.

Gigi was the white car that we got rid of because it gave us a lot of trouble. And Lily was my first car. That was the little Barina. Yeah. You've got to name your cars. Nah, I haven't since the General. That was my first car, named after the General Lee. So the most popular name, and this is crazy because not only is it the most popular in

New Zealand, it is in the US and the UK as well. Gertie. No. What is it? It is a female name. Because that's what people, I've known so many people that have just referred to their cars as Gertie. I don't know anybody ever that's called their car.

Oh really? Maybe it was just in my family. Everyone's like, go on Gertie. Like little cars were always called Gertie. Yeah don't know anybody ever that's called that. Oh, really? Maybe it was just in my family. Everyone's like, go on, Gertie. Like, little cars were always called Gertie. Yeah. Weird. Okay. It's Betty or Betsy.

Betsy. Betty or Betsy? Car. Betty or Betsy is the most common name for a car in the US, UK, and New Zealand. Yeah. Are there any other names that... Kermit. For green cars, people usually go with Kermit.

Yeah. Mum's got a green car, the little Mazda. Kermie. So they should call it Kermit. No, I don't know. She should. She'd probably find calling a car something silly. Bob is also another popular one. These aren't very adventurous.

Bob, why the B names? Why the B names? Bob, Betty. Because I could imagine if it was a Buick, you'd be like, Betty the Buick. But like... Yeah. They've always got to flow a little bit, don't they?

Yeah. Your mum should call her car Shrek. I just Googled famous green things and there's Shrek, Yoda, Oscar the Grouch and Kermit. Yoda! Call it Yoda. Yoda. That's so cute.

That would be a good name. Okay. Something is happening on Instagram that's going to strike fear into the hearts of influencers. Only if they've bought followers or if they have lots of bots following their account because Instagram is cracking down on accounts that use third-party apps to gather more followers. A lot of people have done this.

How do you do it? So do you pay and then they just add followers? A lot of people have done this. How do you do it? So you pay, do you pay and then they just add followers? Is it that simple? Or do you? I think so,

yeah, you just pay. Because aren't there some where you pay like a bot and it goes and likes lots of people's photos so that then they like your profile in return?

Or like the like for followers. Yeah. I've Googled the dirty business of buying Instagram followers as the first article. so that then they like your profile in return. Like to like, follow for follow situation. I've Googled the dirty business of buying Instagram followers. It's the first article. Instead, many turn to advanced services like Buy Instagram Followers, which operates active Instagram accounts that interact with its paying customers. Yeah, that's what I've heard. So packages start from $90 for 1,000 followers to $1,300 for 1,500 followers.

And I'm guessing the more you pay, the more you get1,300 for 1,500 followers. And I'm guessing the more you pay, the more you get. But then fake accounts, like what are those? Some active fake accounts. So those are like those bots that go around and like people's profiles and like photos and stuff. Right. In the hope that they will then like back. There's like for $1.89, you can get 100 followers.

Like it just, the more I scroll down, $1.89, you can get 100 followers. Like, it just, the more I scroll down, the more and more, like, you can buy. Crazy. It always seems quite obvious,

though, if someone's got like, heaps of followers, and then they've got 100 likes. Heaps of things. Like, not saying, not saying ho,

not saying ho. Josie Goss. But Vaughn and I were somewhere, doing something. Yeah. And, you know, putting it on Instagram, and this person had like

A lot of followers Who are you talking about? Someone, I'm not going to say You don't know them You wouldn't know them But they were like classed as what you would say An influencer And had like

Thousands of followers Hundreds of thousands of followers. Hundreds of thousands. Thousands of followers. And we were just like, oh, my God. But then they'd put a photo up or you'd scroll back a few photos and they had a few hundred likes. But everyone can work that out. Everyone can work that out.

Well, you and I can and most people can, but some people don't even look at, they don't even delve into it. So they're giving these people jobs or getting them to come along on these things and Instagram things. But if I had the free time, if I didn't have to come here every day and I didn't have a family that required feeding, like if it was just all about seeing the world for yourself or getting like heaps of freebies. You'd fake up a travel account. Probably. Get around the world for yourself or getting heaps of freebies. You'd fake up a travel account. Probably. But then you go to a-

Get around the world for free. Who cares? But you go to one and someone's like, you're a fraud. And you'll be like, suckers. And then in 50 years they'll make a movie about you. Like Leonardo DiCaprio and catch me if you can. But it's about Instagram. I suppose they're not going to make you pay the stuff back

because it's mostly goods and services. Yeah, but then you're putting someone's hotel or travel experience on Instagram and getting 10 likes for it. Yeah. People are going to start to catch on pretty quick. But then you get a bit of money and you buy a bit of bots that can interact and fake like as well. But that's what some people do and then eventually they get to the level

where people follow them because they see they have a lot of followers. Yeah. And it kind of snowballs and they actually become a big deal. Yeah. From starting off fraudulently. It's fun fraud. Fun fraud. It's fraud, but you're having fun along the way.

But so Instagram has said that if you're following these accounts or you've got followers that are bots, they're going to get rid of them. They're going to get rid of, yeah. Wow. Okay. That's good though. So when should you notice your numbers dropping if this happens? Has it started? I think it started.

Oh, because there's a few people I want to see. I know, keeping an eye on a few people. It's like, how do you have so many followers? We just want to see them go down. We need to buy them. When you buy the followers, I'm assuming it's like credit card. I wouldn't want to give my credit card to people that do this sort of stuff. What do you do when you, do you go buy like a prezi card?

What do you mean? Do you go buy like a $50 prezi card so that if it is a scam and your money gets stolen, it's not your actual credit card? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. I always see things and I'm like. I don't think people think about it that in depth, do they?

Well, they should. Also, I just read it's not only followers, it's likes as well. So if there's like fraudulent likes, oh yeah. So when they delete the bots in the account, it will also delete

any likes. The likes, comments, everything will disappear. Wow, okay. That's juicy, isn't it? Well, that's happening. Keep an eye on some accounts

that you're questionable today. They're so New Zealand. People are getting quite wise to it. Like, I've had conversations with people that are like, that can't be right, can it? Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't look into it too much, but it's basic math, isn't it?

It doesn't really add up. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. I'm just going to double check a few accounts right now. FBM. Apparently more millennials are moving back home. Anya, this is you. You knew this was coming.

You knew I was going to throw to you because you live at home with mum and dad. Don't say it in that tone. No, it's her flatmates Dave and Willa. It's all the spin you put on it. Yeah, yeah, always. My brother moved back home

but I never did. But, um... Oh, I went back for a good stint. Do you know what? Unemployment. If mum and dad lived in Auckland, I probably would. I mean, they wouldn't want you, but sure. But mum makes it too good.

Like, she does your washing. No, but she does when you go home. As a treat. I'm a treat. You go home once or twice a year, but she doesn't want you hanging around with all your dramas all year. Yeah, I'm a treat on a little... You let them get away with all your dramas.

Even I was a little bit shook. She knows she's hard work. Well, they're no picnic either. See, it sounds good until you really remember what it was like living at home. Yeah, exactly. So, a lot of 20-somethings are moving back to their parents

and apparently it's not good for your mental health or their mental health. So it can make you and them depressed and they call it boomeranging when you go out of the nest and back in the nest. Are you boomeranging? Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm enjoying mum's meals. That's keeping me pretty content. I think the clashes would come on the generational divide with, like, political and religious difference. But you're on the same page? No, they're pretty progressive. We're all pretty.

That's pretty good. Yeah, pretty on stage. I think going back home could be, like, if Trump's on TV and your dad's like, well, give him a chance. God, no one's giving him a chance. He's just saying what we're all thinking. Like, no. I don't want anyone to think that's what my dad says.

He's got no time for it. Yeah. So, yeah, while you may be saving money, it's actually not very good for your mental health and your parents don't like it either. Well, why are they putting up with it then? My parents would be like, get out. I feel like, I mean, I don't have kids,

but I feel like if they need your help or they were struggling, you'd be like, okay out. I feel like, I mean, I don't have kids, but I feel like if they need your help or they were struggling, you'd be like, okay. You're not going to say no, are you? Yeah. Do you know what I found myself saying? My house, my rules. I said it. Did you? Oh, really? I said it. Wow. Yep. You're turning into your parents. I know. Yeah, and it felt good.

I see why they said it. It felt good. It was like, you can't argue with that. You're not paying rent. Have you said that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, technically you're legally obligated to take care of them. Well, no, but I don't tell them that. They don't know that.

They don't have a lawyer. How long is it going to be until you're like, this is in a bloody hotel? Did you get that? No one ever got that. I never got that. Do they understand what a hotel is though? Yeah, they'll stay in a hotel. No, because your parents made you bed and cooked you dinner

and then you just went out to all hours of the night, didn't tell them when they're coming back. And they're like, this isn't a bloody hotel. Yeah, but it feels like it. Well, they've got jobs now when they get home from school. And kindy, they've got to take the lunchbox out of their bag, put that on the bench, put their bag away, put their shoes and the thing in.

And I was like, have you done your jobs? He went, I don't want to do my jobs. My jobs are boring. I said, well, jobs are boring. Get used to it. Your job's not boring. I said, it's the exception to the rule. Work hard and you could have a job like this too.

And then they look at me and they're like, you don't work hard. And you still watch about your job. My house, my rules. Because that all job. This is my house. My rules. Because that all just comes back to my house, my rules. I love that they're turning out like you. I know. Yeah, I know. It's dangerous.

FVM, the podcast. Yesterday at the supermarket, doing just a little shop after the gym. A couple of items. Yeah. And I was in the fruit and veg department. I mean, this is the start of a great story. This is, I'm glued. I am glued.

I'm on my phone, but I'm listening. I'm humouring him. Go ahead, Flynn. I'm on my phone, but I'm listening. You know I love a free sample. You guys would all love a free sample. Maybe not so much you, Megan, because you don't like carbs and food. What's like carbs? Well, no, I'm saying most free samples are like oh yeah it's

naughty stuff i usually say no yeah um and you know i'll always indulge because it's always a new product it's always something exciting delicious and i'm all for it i'll even do loops and try and get a second one i can't hide my disappointment when i try something and it's not delicious though right they're like oh and this is a new type of sausage. And I'll always be like, did we need a new type of sausage? I thought sausages were pretty nailed down. We've done a great job. And I'll be like.

Also, it's weird when they do. It's weird when they cook a hot food option there on their little electric grill. I don't know. It's just weird. You're cooking sausages or meat in the middle of a supermarket on a little stand. It's just weird. But you don't want to eat a raw sausage. Yeah don't know. It's just weird. You're cooking sausages or meat in the middle of a supermarket on a little stand. It's just weird. But you don't want to eat a raw sausage. Yeah, I know.

No, no. I kind of see what you mean. But at the same time, they want it to represent how you would eat it at home. Well, anyway, yesterday this lady's got her little stall set up, her little platform. Yeah. By the way, my supermarket, Megan went there yesterday, never has free samples. Never has free samples.

What was my feedback of your supermarket? She's called it scummy. It looks like it should be renovated. If nothing much has changed, it's been like three different names. Different rebranded. They're just like, just leave it.

They'll eat when they're hungry it. They don't deserve it. They'll eat when they're hungry. Like pigs in a trough. That West Aucklanders, they'll eat when they're hungry. It doesn't matter what it looks like. I've got my basket. I'm a bit preoccupied and I hear, do you want a free sample? Would you like to try one?

His ears prick up. And I'm like, free? And I look down at the free sample table, and it's free samples of carrots. Raw carrots? What, just plain carrots? Yeah, like mini, you know, not those little mini baby carrots, like the carrots that are big carrots that are ugly, so they saw them down in a carrot lathe.

Yeah, but do you mean actual baby carrots? Yeah. Do you mean an actual miniature carrot? Yeah, but I was like, no. No, I don't. Did you say no? Well, I don't need to know what a carrot tastes like. I know what a carrot tastes like.

But maybe there's something special about these ones. They're doing a tasting. What's special about a carrot? It's a carrot. Maybe they're extra sweet and juicy. Don't. I love a carrot, but don't lure me in with free samples of something I know what the taste is. Get out of the supermarket.

I would have tried that sample. No. See, I would have tried it too, but my face would have been like, this is just a carrot. Yeah, no, I don't want a carrot. No, but now you don't know because you didn't try. He knows what a carrot tastes like. I know what a carrot tastes like.

I've had several different types. There's definitely different. Some are manky. Like if you leave it too long. You know what carrots I'm into? What? The ugly carrots. You know what carrots I'm into? What? The ugly carrots. You know they're doing the bags of like the ugly fruits.

Oh, yeah. Because I don't give a crap what they look like, carrots. I just feel sorry for them, so I'm like, I'll buy you. They're a bit harder to peel, but you're not supposed to peel carrots anyway, are you? Because there's a light scrub. The nutrition's in the skin. Yeah, it is. You give it a light scrub.

Yeah, but also someone's hands and like stuff have been on the skin. Maybe give it a scrub, give it a wash scrub. Yeah, but also someone's hands and stuff have been on the skin. Maybe give it a scrub, give it a wash. But I just feel sorry for the ugly bags. I love the ugly bags because they're cheaper and they're like girth. They're always a girthy. I want to finish a carrot and wish I could have more, you know. I want a good girthy. Something that I'm like, oh, to get my mouth over.

And then my teeth really have to work to get through it. I like a challenge in a carrot. I don't like to eat a carrot and think that was too easy. Yeah. Were these hard to eat carrots? They were little, you said. No, he didn't try it. They were little skinny orange carrots.

How did she take your rejection? I just went, oh, no thanks. And what did she say? But it's a carrot. And you're like, that's the exact reason. No, I think she was like, well, I guess she thought it was a hard sell too. Hard sell, the carrot. Because, you know, a lot of people have tried a carrot

and I don't know what she was hoping to achieve. What did your stall look like? Just white. It was white and it had a sign. New chocolate. Lots of carrots on it. See, new chocolate. I tried that in a second.

Easy sell. Easy sell. Hot foods, easy sell. Easy sell. Carrot. Carrot. We've all had a carrot, haven't we? Like, just don't even bother with your carrot stall.

What a waste of everyone's time. Everyone's time is wasted. Has there been a good season for the carrot board? And they're just like, it's time to remarket the carrot. It's time to remarket. Let's spend some money on some in-store samples, because that's not cheap. No, let's remind people about carrots. They're still there.

Because I've driven through Owakuni a few times, and I'm like, what's that? Oh, what are those called again? I've forgotten all about carrots. Thanks. They're still there. Because I've driven through Oakoonie a few times and I'm like, what's that? Oh, what are those called again? I've forgotten all about that vegetable that my parents made me eat when I was young. Yeah, exactly. I don't mind now. Today at NCEA.

Good morning, Miss. Good morning, Miss Merritt. Good morning, Classborn. I had a real bad night's sleep last night. Can I get... My granddad's dead. Can I get compassionate consideration? He died years ago.

Yeah, I know, but I just remembered. Should have made me sad. Okay. Today in NCA, level three, Earth and space science. Now, this is technically not a level three question. Megan, Elon Musk. Not quite. He is an expert on both Earth and space-based sciences.

The question is, use your name as your buzzer, what is the smallest planet in our solar system? Megan. Oh. Pluto? Eh. That's just the furthest away, isn't it? But that's also like a sub-planet.

Would that fall into your planetary definition? Haven't we gone back to that being a planet? Because I think everybody felt sorry for it, right? It's so hard, though, because they all look small. Yeah, they're all small from here. Vaughn. Vaughn. Mercury.

Correct. Oh, that's what I meant. Literally at the opposite ends of the solar system Mercury's in retrograde miss Okay I do remember that Level two Spanish health Because

Can I just say Can I just Yes You know what the full moon That's happening tonight's called The full beaver moon Because all the Okay

All the full moons have different names Yeah And this one's called the full beaver moon Because Because all the full moons have different names. And this one's called the full beaver moon because this is the time of year where beavers are building their winter dams and eating heaps so they can go inside the dams and kind of chill out for winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Cool. Thank you. Cool story.

You taught the teacher. You know what? Take a point off. He's trying to grease up during the exam. That's also what Megan's neighbours called when she didn't pull the curtains, but she bent over to do it. Okay. Yourself?

You regretted it, didn't you? You stopped halfway through. I ran out of steam. Yeah, I did. Okay. Sorry. Level two, Spanish health. It could be just any health, but let's just pretend it's a Spanish person.

Hold up. Okay, diagnose this person. Okay, so, okay, this is me. Okay. I'm a woman born. Sorry, I haven't given you the symptoms. Low self-esteem. Oh, my God.

Drinking problems. I didn't give you the symptoms. Overbearing mother. Turn this mic off right now. Inability to commit. Born. This is not. I'm giving you the symptoms. Oh, I thought you were just like, you said it's me.

Shut up. You're so annoying. You don't get to answer this one. Fletch and Megan, you lose everything. Okay. You're out. The pain, the areas that I have pain in are my joints and muscles. My whole body is fatigued and feverish.

Bourne, Bourne. Shut up, you're out of this. No, you can listen to the rest of it. Are you calling me? You've got classic flu symptoms. The joints, stiffness and swelling, and also common, bullseye pattern rash and headache. Megan. Yes.

Meningitis. No. Megan. In serious news, there's a bit of a meningitis. No. Megan. In serious news, there's a bit of a meningitis. She can't buzz in again, can she? No arthritis. Megan. Yeah.

Vaughan, ringworm. No. Please, do you want to have a 10? Chlamydia. No. Megan. Selenogromia. Vaughan, lupus.

Lupus. Oh, no, wait. Sorry, she's buzzing like I'm on the wrongowski. Everyone, lupus. Lupus. Oh, no, wait. Sorry, she's talking like I'm on the wrong way. Yeah, Lyme disease. No, you know that's Avril Lavigne. Oh, sorry. Okay, wrong person. Lyme disease.

Okay, Jase, bring in the props. This is what we need for Thursday morning. Ooh. For agricultural and horticultural science, we're going with viticultural science. This is whey's. Which is, of course, wine.

Now, each take a sip and tell me what type of wine this is that you're drinking. I don't even need to. Chardonnay. Vaughan's right. Boring. Who did buzz?

Megan. Vaughan. Chardonnay. Awesome. I buzzed in with my drag queen name, Chardonnay, and the answer is Chardonnay. Okay, this is the second

try. This is two out of two. Am I finishing it, Miss? Okay. You can scull that, yeah. Oh, no, that's I was going to say a paino, but that's not a paino. That smells a bit... On the nose, it's a bit manky, a bit full. Megan, what? Syrah. Did you just look at the thing? No. It is Syrah. Yeah.

Also known as Shiraz. Also, you can't give school kids wine in exams. Also tastes pretty good as a breakfast wine. Is that all? Never had a full-bodied red at 7.30. Good luck to everybody taking part in NCEA exams today. No doubt they'll be a lot harder than that. Uh-oh, Caitlin's mum's just messaged me.

I told you. Overbearing! I've got to say, that's classic overbearing parrot behavior don't be rude to mother jane leave her alone she's already promised me but oh god that bloody briefs around hit the spot i can see why Gaz is all about them. Fine. Maybe it's a secret to a long career. Who knows? Whoa! FEMC.

I want to talk now about long distance relationships. There is a couple, Kelsey and James, who have been together since 2013, but they've had to do long distance. So we're talking... Till now? They're on and off till now. Yeah. What do you mean on and off till now. Yeah.

What do you mean on and off? But we're talking like years... Oh, so they still spend some time together? Still spend some time together. Like the holidays and stuff. But they have spent years in Brisbane and in Canada. It's like, it's decent. Wow, that's half a world away, isn't it?

Yeah. So they, yeah, been going out for years and they have spent, they reckon, about $15,000. Australian. Australian. Wow. And just seeing each other, flights back and forth.

Because that's a decent haul from Brisbane to Toronto. Yeah, well, that's only 15 flights, really. Yeah. Is there an end in sight to this? Like, are they together now? Yeah, they're still together. But they're not living in the same country? No. Oh, no, now they're living in Sydney.

Right, now they live in Sydney. But they were doing that for years and just making it work. I was going to say, because unless there's an end, like you've got a plan, like someone's, I don't know, finishing up a job and maybe they've got a year or so left. It's just open-ended. Or study or whatever, you know, because a lot of people might meet at uni, maybe someone's got an extra year to go. You could say, okay, we could do've got a year or so left. It's just open-ended. Or study or whatever, you know, because a lot of people might meet at uni,

maybe someone's got an extra year to go. You could say, okay, we could do it for a year. And that's doable in the same country. Yeah. Skype, FaceTime, all those sorts of things. My husband and I did seven months. So he was in America, I was still in Auckland, and it was open-ended.

But then you kind of go through the chats where you're like, well, do you want to break up? No. Okay, well, let's just carry on then. So there's no end in sight, but you just make it work because you like each other. Yeah. And eventually like something might come around or whatever.

But I flew over to Atlanta in America. He flew to LA and then back to New Zealand. So we would have spent a bit on flights as well. But not $15,000. No, definitely not $15,000. Because would you want to do that for five years? No. There's no way, eh?

It's too hard. We watched movies, like timed the movies the same on FaceTime. Get out of town. Yeah, so you're like, ready, go, make it play. And then you'd watch, like have FaceTime going and watch the movies together. It's Netflix, it's buffering. You're like, ready, go, make it play. And then you'd watch, like, have FaceTime going and watch the movie together. It's Netflix, it's buffering. You're like, I've got to hang up FaceTime.

It's affecting the fly I'm getting on my Netflix show. Yeah, yeah. So, man, it's not easy, but I couldn't do it for five years and spend that kind of money on it. I know, that's... Well, could we take some calls now? Has anybody been in a long-distance relationship? How much money do you reckon you spent?

On flights, on travel, on presents. On a long distance. Because you send over care packages. Yeah. And, like, did it end up that you're together? Did it work out? Or did it not? Well, that's the thing.

If it ends up at the end of it you're together, then it's kind of an investment, isn't it? It's worth it, yeah. If it breaks up, you're like, err and err. Okay, well, 0800 dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. How much have you spent on, err-n-err. Okay, well, 0800 dials at him. You can text as well, 9696. How much have you spent on a long-distance relationship?

We're talking about the long-distance relationships and how much you've invested in them because this couple that were going between Australia and Canada are like $15,000. Well, we've had many people... Many people are texting and... You call that an amount of money, do you? I can be... And that's classic Kiwi, eh?, you call that an amount of money, do you? I can bet. And that's classic Kiwi, eh?

Yeah, call that a knife. We've got, like, lots of calls lined up. Let me just nick you there. Yeah, no, we've got a nashu. Which is weird. We can't hear the phones. The producers can answer the phones. We just can't put them up on the line on the desk in here.

I don't know what's happened. We'll have to get – I don't think we'll be able to take calls. Get a speaker and hold it up to a microphone. Old school. desk in here. I don't know what's happened. We'll have to get, well, I don't think we'll be able to take calls, which is upsetting. Get a speaker and hold it up to a microphone. Old school. I don't know if we could do that, actually. They'd have to ring your cell phone. Do you want to give them your number? Not particularly.

Hold on. That would actually be quite funny though, wouldn't it? Putting it through and then holding it up on the speakerphone. If Caitlin rang them on her cell phone. Does your headset, Caitlin, does your headset work in here? And we just hold your headset, we hold your earpiece up on speakerphone. If Caitlin rang them on her cell phone. Does your headset, Caitlin, does your headset work in here? And we just hold your headset, we hold your earpiece up to the microphone. Oh, my God, let's try. Oh, my God, let's try that.

That would be hilarious. Maybe at the door. That would be funny. Maybe at the door. Vaughan's going to put on the receptionist headset. Can you turn it up real loud? Turn it up real loud. Oh, no, but then, Caitlin, you'll have to answer the neck.

Let's talk to neck first. You'll have to answer neck. James, just put to neck first. You'll have to answer neck. James, just put neck on there. Let's see if this will work. Oh, it does work, though. It does, but I think someone hung up. It does work. No, he's gone.

Let's try it. What about Ollie? Let's try Ollie. Is it turned right up? Go now, go now. That's Ollie. Are you there, Ollie? Are you there, Ollie?

No. It should work, though, isn't it? Yeah, that's weird. All right. Well, we tried. Ollie. What about Ollie's ringing on line six? Try that.

Ollie? Hello? Hey, it's Ollie. How you doing? Okay, good. I'm going to hold Ollie up to my microphone. I'm going to go on this microphone. Have you turned Ollie right up?

He's very quiet. It's not going to work. No, no, no. It's good. You turn this microphone up. That's good. Ollie, how much have you spent on a long-distance relationship? So, my... It's not me. It's my brother. Yeah. He's in a long-distance relationship and has been for

about five years with a girl from he met in Camp America. Wow, okay. For three months, he was spending probably about $3,000 on a return flight to Pennsylvania and back. And he's probably spent upwards of about $30,000 throughout the course of the relationship. Wow. And the two daughters are now happily married.

Oh, so that's a happy end. That's a good investment. Hope she didn't expect much on the wedding day, though. Because he spent all the money on flights. Yeah. Okay, Ollie's... Hey, I don't know. Ollie's can only hear us through that microphone,

so everybody look at that microphone when you talk. Yeah. I like that we've... We need to be quieter because, like, we're, like, yelling and Ollie's, like, real quiet. Guys, Pat, look. Are you still there, Ollie? No, he's gone.

Has he gone? Should we go to the next caller? No, I think we're done. I think we're done. Let's just read out some text. Go to Kate. Go to Kate. Don't give up.

We've just made this work. We haven't given up. The phones have completely dropped off the desk. Let's move on. I feel like, look, I've got it sitting up there now. I know. Read out some text. Bear grills this shit right up.

I know. Okay. We did well with what we had up there now. I know. Read out some text messages. Bear grills this shit. Right up. I know. Okay. We did well with what we had. We tried. We did. We really did. Somebody said they couldn't even hear Ollie. I mean, maybe they could.

I told you we were yelling. Ollie was really quiet. That person might have prematurely text messaged in. You know? Well, we had a great conversation with Ollie. Ollie's brother met his wife, now wife, at Camp America. They spent like $30,000. It's a great story.

Out of 10, how well could you hear, Ollie? We're not expecting any 10s. You know when you have a crappy Facebook or a Skype call and it's like, rate this call out of five stars. Yeah. Two stars. But I don't think that was ingenuity-wise. I would give us a star for that.

Some text messages. I had to move to Nelson from Auckland for work for two years. I had to. You make it sound like it was a chore. Gun to the head. Came up twice weekly for my girlfriend, now wife. Travelled so much I became seven out of ten, by the way, for the Olly call someone messaged me.

Oh, okay. I travelled so much I became gold elite with Air New Zealand Airpoints. Well, no, because you go to Nelson for the weekend. You can go to Australia for cheaper. And they said it cost them about $18,000. Good Lord. See, if a guy likes you, he'll make an effort. If he's not making an effort, get rid of him.

Because he's flying twice a week for his now wife. And he's being gold elite. He can get free car club. That'd be pretty good. Free valet parking. My long distance was Rotorua to Hamilton. That's medium distance, really. It's an inconvenient drive, but it's not too bad. Spent lots on petrol.

That's true. Didn't end up working because one made more effort than the other. So even at a shorter distance, says Sarah, who messaged this in, the effort put in has got to be equal. Well, that's the thing. If you're the one that's always going down, and they're not, then that's probably a red flag, isn't it? Hearing from lots of people, and it's ended in marriage, and so they're looking at it

as an investment in the relationship, not money spent or not money wasted. Yeah. I spent $25,000 on flights between Ireland and New Zealand when I was doing long distance to Ireland. Wow. Somebody else said they were married to someone, or sorry, they were with someone and they were in the UK Army and they tried to see each other once every three months.

Okay. Oh, my God. And it cost them an absolute fortune, but now that they're married, so it's all good. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You decide that you really want to be with them. Yeah.

All right. One minute. Catch up and yeah. Okay. One minute past eight. Passion. The passion. The in-person passion.

Went to a Christmas outing last night. Took the girls to see the big band in red. Santa. I saw this. I was like, you're all getting in this. It's the start of the festive season now. 32 days away from Christmas. Because it's a week.

Just over a week. It's Christmas elves. Till the scout elves are back. Okay. For 2018 to make sure behaviour is on track. Ahead of the Christmas appearance by the big man in red. Little scout elves,

the little elf on a shelf situation. So we went and saw Santa. Beautiful, like top end Santa. Got invited to it. Top end Santa. Oh, like top shelf Santa. Smith and Coey Santa, like local department store.

I won't lie to you. I didn't pay for it. They asked us to go. Right. They didn't pay us to go and they didn't ask. Didn't say that I had to talk about it today. How much do you have to pay to get a photo with Santa at Smith and Coey? I'm not sure, Megan.

It's outside of my knowledge of the situation. But it's top shelf. Yeah. See, every now and then you've got to treat yourself to a little top shelf. Because I look back at some of our photos, my brother and I, when we went to... Yeah, but the 90s were a hard time for Santa. Yeah, and it was the farmers in New Plymouth had the Santa. Oh.

And sometimes it just... I've got to be careful what I say here, but just a bit manky. Hard time Santa. It's a busy time for Santa. He's rushed off his feet. And then he's got to come and see you. He's like, well. Young, great little brat.

I mean. But like tobacco stains. Did you, did you, what did you get dressed up for Santa? Oh no, Santa's given up smoking now. Has he? Yeah, and he bleaches his beard. Does he? Right.

He's just given up. It's bad for his health. Goes to Rodney Wine. Okay. Gets his beard whitened. Good. So he looks on point. So he should. Yeah, yeah. So he looks good. But I had a chat to Santa

about, you know, if they'd been behaving. Yeah. And then sat on Santa's knee for the photo. This is the first year that neither of them have been hesitant about it. There's always been hesitation with the Santa photo. It is weird though because we're always like You know

Don't sit on old men's knee And strangers And avoid strangers And then you're like Hey kids Sit on a stranger's knee But this is Santa He's not a stranger

He breaks into our house Once a year While we're asleep That's true You're right You're right Yeah he's no stranger But when they got on his knee

There was a camera malfunction And the camera wouldn't work So they sat for this Like weirdly long time On Santa's knee. I was like, you can hold Bob if you want and they're like,

no, like we're close to the man. We're going to get some words in his ear. Right. They both asked for cell phones which I thought was weird. They want cell phones.

Yeah, she just copied what Indy said basically but August did ask for a big beautiful Christmas tree and he said, but I can't bring that because you've got to have that up beforehand.

Yeah, that's your dad's blow, Jushy. So then I just got the evils that we don't have one already. I was like, we'll get one. It'll get sorted. It's okay. Yeah. And then we talked about if we, while we were waiting for the camera to resolve its issues,

we talked about if we knew any naughty kids. And August just rattled off this list of all these kids that she doesn't think she'll get presents what a knock I know it was like she was an informant like she was like all right mate if you want the if you want the nod on who's bad here we go and she rattled off some kids and he said to Indy do you know any um you know naughty kids and she said one or two but like I think they're good kids deep down. And he was like, good work.

You could see he was like, good, she's not an arch. She can be trusted. You can see in August mine, she's like, if I rag on all these kids, I'm going to get more presents. She believed there was some sort of total prize pool of presents and the less people that were dipping meant more for her. I feel that. Didn't there used to be a thing if you dobbed in a tax dodger,

you got rewarded? I don't know. Maybe she thinks there's some sort of like narking reward as well. Like, I'm going to get more presents because they're out of the prize pool, but I'll get a reward for the bad kids. So, I mean, don't mess with her because she's got a straight direct line to send her and she's not afraid to use it. Yeah.

But, yeah, now it's definitely entering the festive season. Well, yeah, 32 days, 15 hours and 44 minutes away from Christmas. And that may be, depending on how often you get paid, for us, it's one payday before Christmas. Somebody said

Santa obviously pulled his boots up, his socks up in New Plymouth. The New Plymouth Centre City Santa in 1996 was quite hot. So he obviously, you know. Was that when he did Atkins? Yeah. Yeah, Mrs. Claus died in 96. Mrs. Claus had him off the carbs.

Yeah, right. And he did a lot of Atkins in 96. Yeah, you're not wrong. Yeah. Totally. Which is nice. Yeah. Totally. Which is nice. Yeah. All right, next I want to talk about what Fletch bought.

Only because I saw this. You saw a video. I saw a travel hacks and I was like, okay, this is one I could get on board with. Have you bought it in bulk? Not yet. I got five of them. Five. Do you want to tell everyone?

So you saw a video yesterday. This was actually on ZM online. And it got me because it said Kmart travel hack. So you saw it and you raced out and bought five. I wouldn't say I raced out, but I suddenly was like, this is something I, next day. Next day. So this was on Tuesday and I got these yesterday.

And I now regret even telling you. What you got? It's so geeky. What you got? So the travel hack, they Kmart sell these apparently for nine bucks. But I didn't have a Kmart because I live in the city. So I was like, I'll just go to like Kathmandu and the stores downtown. And Kathmandu had them they were on sale

so I was like bloody Uncle Stridge McDuck over here with his millions I could go to Kmart I could go to Katmandu no but they were like a couple of bucks more

okay and so by the time I got to Kmart blah blah blah well if that's all yeah exactly so this is the hack

they're called packing cubes. What are packing cubes? Show me. So, they're like lightweight materials. They've got mesh on the top. And you put all your different things when you go away in your suitcase. What do you use them for if it's not in the suitcase? What was their original use?

No, they're for your suitcase. Well, why is this a hack? Someone's literally discovered the purpose of something and they've found it handy. This is not a hack. A hack is taking something intended for something else and repurposing it. Well, maybe they're packing cubes for like your wardrobe

or your drawers or underneath your bed. Okay, right. I don't know. Now you got me. So they're different sizes. And so what you do is when you're going away on a holiday and you've got your big suitcase, you put all your different things into the cubes and they

press them down and all your stuff's in the handy. You know when you're after undies or socks and after a couple of days you're digging through your suitcases. So you'd have an undie pack. You'd have an undie pack. I'm going to have a t-shirt pack, a dirty washing pack. It's all, I'm so excited

about how organised this is. I'll take your travel hack and I'll up you. Get a cardboard box. Okay. And cut it. Yeah. Cut it the, like, and make segments within your suitcase. Like, make your own dividers.

Oh, okay, that's a good idea. Like a lunchbox. Yeah, like a lunchbox with sections and segments. It kind of gets all mished up. Because these have a zip, so you put the lid on and you can compress them down. I'm so excited about this. And I told Megan and she just laughed at me. I just don't understand the point.

Because you're one of those people. I bet you are. And I don't know if you are. Here we go. I bet you are. If you're going somewhere for a few days and you get to a motel or a hotel, I bet you put all your clothes and stuff in the... In the wardrobe.

Of course I do. Yeah, in the drawers. You were with us so weird. Especially my jackets and my dresses. You're moving in? You're only there a few days. Don't...

No, I hang it up. I make a point of putting stuff in the cupboard. Like when we went to Fiji, I hung up my board shorts on the coat hanger. But why? You don't need to.

Because I just want to feel fancy. My dresses and stuff because then they like drop and then I get wrinkly. If I had a shirt, I'd hang that up. But I never have a shirt because I don't travel with a shirt. Why would you travel with a shirt? I'm not travelling with a shirt. And you just keep your suitcase, if you put something back in, you just fold it up.

I don't understand. If you're travelling a couple of days here and there, you don't want to unpack your whole suitcase. I'm so excited about these so it just sections stuff off yeah oh my god are you not

are you not excited about this part it sounds okay but I'm not like super jazzed about it I'm so excited about this he's like I've got my suitcase open

I'm filling as I go well no I'm just chucking it as I go what you're already packing he's packing already we don't finish here till the 14th of December no but I'm just I'm it as I go. What? You're already packing. He's packing already. We don't finish here until the 14th of December.

No, but I'm just, I'm chucking the odd thing in that I need. He was so jazzed about these boxes. What are you putting in there that you need that you're not going to use beforehand?

These things. A winter clothes. He's packing cubes. Packing cold clothes. Because I move in like a week, move house, and I'm scared to put anything in a packing box

in case I need it before then. We're not putting anything that I don't need. God, I'm so... It's got to be organised. Very excited about this. You pack on the day of going away. Always pack on the day you're going away.

Really, you're in the mood for it. So weird how jazzed you are about them, though. Like, do we need more excitement in your life? No, I've just had a message. Apparently you can get these for sheets. And you can stuff for the linen cupboards. No, that's a good idea. Because I've seen the vacuum pack ones.

Because you fold them and you put them in the pillowcase. Yeah, that's what I normally do. Yeah, that's a good little trick. But you can get these once. You know when you're finished with your winter duvet. I've got one. I've got one. You put it in your sealant and you vacuum it.

Yeah, and you vacuum it shut. Oh, that's different. That's pretty great. Why is it different? It's just handy packing. What's the difference between folding sheets in a it and it takes all the space out of it. Oh, that's different. That's pretty great. Why is it different? It's just handy packing. What's the difference between folding sheets in a pile and putting them in the cupboard or folding them into a separate plastic thing and putting it in the cupboard? If you've just joined us, it's better than that.

And we're just trying to work out the best way to stack your sheets. I'm sorry for being organised. Where do you keep them? Just keep them in the same place, keep them? Me? Hot water cupboard. I can't imagine the nightmare of having gas hot water because where would I keep my towels? I've still got a whole cupboard. It's just no hot water bottle in it.

It doesn't have the hot water cylinder in there, keeping it dry. God, we're going to be all ready for when we work on an oldies radio station, eh? With this banter. You're already there, mate. Just a bit more racism and we'll be right there. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is I'm going to tell you the country with the most islands.

Oh. The country with the most islands. Can you give me a region, an area? The top three are all in the same area. And, okay. I was surprised. Oh. Japan. Is it like around,

is it around Southeast Asia? Japan is on the list, but it's not, that is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Indonesia? Around Indonesia? Indonesia is fifth. The Philippines, seventh.

The, no, but the, did you say the country? The country or the area? Sweden. One specific country. Bingo. Sweden. Well done.

Wow, okay. Guess how many, according to Swedish cartographers, Swedish maps, the people who decide what is an island, Sweden has 221,000 islands. Now, an island to them is any bit of land that breaches the water that has water between it and the mainland. Okay. Now, they've got heaps of lakes. Most of those lakes have islands in them. They've got hundreds of thousands of islands off the coast as well,

just small little, most of them uninhabited. They actually do. I'm just looking now. It's insane, eh? It's insane, yeah. The bridge, there's a bridge into do. I'm just looking now. It's insane, eh? It's insane. Yeah. The bridge, there's a bridge into Sweden. Never been myself.

But apparently the capital of Stockholm is built across 14 islands and there's more than 50 bridges in the capital. Wow. Oh, that's not fair though. There are lots of

little squiggly ones. You think it should have to be at least have a house on it? Yeah. It's kind of cheating, yeah. Separated by all the fjords. Fjord, yeah. Yeah, right.

Separated by all the fjords. Okay, interesting. Finland is second, 188,000 islands for them. And Norway, well down the list, 55,000 apparently. Canada, which has the most lakes in the world. I believe, what was it about lakes? It's got more lakes than the rest of the world countries combined.

Canada has 52,000 islands and Indonesia 17,000 islands. Okay, wow. So there's a lot. Are we not on that list at all? No. Australia, the Philippines, Japan, United Kingdom, Greece and Thailand.

Not even with, yeah, there's a few. Okay, no, but nothing for us. Yeah, Stuart, Chatham. Yep. Waiheke. White. Yeah, Whitey, yep. Yeah, White's one.

Carpity. Carpity. That's a beautiful one. I like Flora. That other little one. Great Barrier. Watchman's. Rangatoto.

Little Barrier. Is there a Little Barrier? Waiheke. Yep. Already said that, you're out of the game. Skull. Oh, Skull. Someone said W. Skull. Oh, Skull. Someone said, why, Hickey?

Yeah, Skull. You said Skull. It's actually consume. Brother Fletch, you must now consume your vessel. Point with my elbow because no pointing with fingers. I love playing games to encourage me to drink. Not that this country's already got a binge drinking problem, but we'll make anything into a game.

Take the fun out of it. Kickstand. Sister Megan, negativity. Why did you have to say Sister Megan? I don't know. Did you have to say brother and sister? You had to say brother Fletch. Okay.

So today's fact of the day is Sweden has the most islands of any country in the world. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I saw this story about a fat dog and I was like, oh, but it's easy to let your pet get a bit fat because we love them and we're like, here, have a treat. Are you still hungry? You're around the bowl. You want some more? So it turns out I don't think this is actually from someone like loving their pet too much.

I actually think Boppa the Whopper. Boppa the Whopper. That's his name. I think Boppa the Whopper was homeless and so he'd been scrounging and maybe people had been feeding him. So he wasn't, he doesn't have a home. Right.

He was found and taken to the vets and they tried to put him into a kennel and Boppa the Whopper doesn't actually fit in the kennel. That's because he's an 11-year-old border collie and he weighs 50 kgs. Oh, they can eat 50 kgs. 50 kgs. There would be adults that weigh 50 kgs, eh? Yeah.

That's insane. 100%. So he's on a special diet now, an exercise routine to help him lose over 20 kgs. But he's 11. That's like 50 odds. And humans, 60. You're just a bit like, just giving up. Also, he's so big, he's just struggling to walk in general.

So they've just got to do little walks for him. Yeah. But it did lead me to thinking, like, I wear a cat called Flick who is quite a fatty. Right. But, yeah, that's just because you feed them all kinds of treats and then you just want to feed them off your plate. And they're real cute and they want more, so you just give them some. And then they rub your leg and purr and you're like, no, I just have some more.

And then do we want to talk about our own pet, Sledge? Mine's actually not fat. It's his fur that makes him look fat. He's a stocky breed. He's big boned is what we say. Yeah. Okay. He's a stocky breed. But I do a lot of exercise with him every day because I have to tire him out so

he doesn't keep me awake at night. Or like chasing. Yeah, I just throw balls. Yeah, he chases around. Laser pointer. Well, I try not to use the laser pointer because I called him the other day staring at the wall for like half an hour, still looking for the red dot. I was like, that can't be mentally, that can't be good. No, it's good for the brain. He's like, all right, where did it go?

What are the possibilities? How could it have escaped? He does the same for flies because he'd chase flies. Yeah. And he'll go crazy, but he'll just stare at the wall looking at them, waiting for them to move. It's pretty cute. Wait, well, he's a cat.

He's like, you know, a descendant of a tiger. They'll stalk out a prey. Yeah. They'll stalk out some prey. Okay, well, so finish the sentence. My pet is so fat that dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It doesn't fit in the kennel. Like, fopper the wopper.

It doesn't fit in the cat door. Vaughan's cat in its formative years. You did that. You made that cat so fat it couldn't get through the cat's wall. See, you're a feeder. I am a feeder. And now Anakin's got that little saddlebag thing so he has to go into surgery to get them removed.

Like people who get gastric bypass. He doesn't. He doesn't. But, you know, it's like that. He's slimmed down but of all that excess skin still hanging there. He can't look his best. Alright, well finish the sentence My pet is so fat that... Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696.

Talking about fat pets, there's a border collie in the UK. It's been named the UK's fattest pet, 50kgs. Can't fit in a crate. So we would like to know about your fat pets. Finish the sentence. My pet is so fat that... Rachel, finish the sentence. How fat?

My cat is so fat that Oscar ran through the cat door, got stuck in it, his bum got stuck in it, and pulled and pulled and ripped the cat door out of the door. Oh. That's got to be degrading. That's got to be Oscar's eye-opening moment. Yeah. That's when you're like, I've got to diet now. I've got to do something about this.

But it was KG then, and he's about seven now, so I was killing him with kindness. They'll say that vets too. They will. They'll give you a lecture, like flossing, when you go to the dentist, eh? Exactly. All right, Kate, my pet is so fat that...

When it would jump into your lap, it would hurt because its paws were so little. Oh, like... A lot of weight behind a small surface. It was almost like a hammer or something. Yeah, you're tense in preparation for it jumping into your lap. Do you know how much it weighed? No, I don't, but she took up a whole couch cushion.

But you say it could jump. How was the jump? It was kind of like a struggle. It's like when you watch those big jumbos, you know, the A380s take off. You're like, how does that get off the ground? But it does.

But it's not landing in someone's lap. True. Kate, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. My cat is so fat, he has to go to the vet in a dog crate. He's nine and a half kgs and also falls over trying to clean himself. As he can't reach his belly, he'll fall over and then he'll lay there for a bit and then he falls asleep in the same position. Oh, no.

My cat is so fat, she has a diagnosed eating disorder. She'll eat anything. Eat rat poison. Don't drop a pill on the floor because she's on it in seconds. She'll even steal the chicken on the bench at night. I don't know why you'd leave chicken out. Maybe like leftovers, they mean. No, like maybe to defrost.

Oh, maybe. Could be defrosting it. Yeah. Oh, my God. My pet's so fat that he weighed more than my son when he was born. In fact, it took my son a little while to catch up with him. Wow. Yeah.

My cat's so fat she couldn't clean down there, so I had to go get a Brazilian. That's another thing that- Long-haired cats, though. Long-haired cats, if they can't clean their whole area, they do. They have to get shaved in the- Get matted and stuff. In the back area.

Yeah, dags. Yeah, like sheep.