ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 25 2019

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

Megan did not invite the boys somewhere over the weekend, infringement tickets getting out of control and what ended a friendship?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, Anya, but you look like an absolute piece of shit this morning. I mean, there's no wrong way to take that. That can be processed one way. I've never seen you look whiter though, to be fair. Yeah, I am. You're very pale this morning. You had a big, you had a Spring City, a big night

last night. I did. Had a few Bacardi breezes, did you? Had a couple of pink gin Gordons. Pink Gordon gin. Those are something to do with Gordons. They were delicious. Should you, um, remember getting home the night before you got work the next day at 4.30am? Am I here?

Do I have a smile on my face? You are, yes. Thank you. I'll give you that. Consummate professional. I commend you on even being able to drag your sorry carcass out of bed this morning. Thank you, Vaughn. To get in there.

Well done. Thanks, guys. How old are you? 23. Yep. Oosh. You haven't got too many years left in you, been able to do that. How was it? Was it good? How was my favourite band, Two Door Cinema Club? They were great.

They were incredible live. That's how much I didn't want to go because, like, one of my favourite bands I haven't seen live yet and I just looked at all the punishers there. She did look like a fairly wank-heavy crowd. On your Instagram. And I was like, you know what? I don't want that tonight.

I don't need that on a Sunday. A wank-heavy crowd. That's where you work out the ratio of total people, Megan, and then how many of them are wankers. And then you work out if it's a wank-light or wank-heavy crowd. Or just your average wank. Yeah then you work out if it's wank light or wank heavy crowd or just your average wank. Yeah, total punishers. By the way, it's hot

in here. How are you in a puffer jacket? You're hungover. I'm not hungover. I'm sweating up a storm. Anyone else hot in here? It's very hot in here. It is a month away till Christmas today. It is the 25th of November. Megan's catering size roll of wrapping paper arrived today. Shit, it's heavy.

Do you want me to drop it on the ground? Yeah. No, you might wreck the paper. Jesus. That's what 50 metres of Christmas wrapping sounds like. It sounds like when you're carrying something heavy inside for mum from the car. You're like, I can't make it, mum, it's too heavy. She's like, just get it outside.

You get inside, you poof. Get Bruce the potatoes. I'm ready. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, I've got three news headlines. You've got to pick one of them only. The others are deleted forever.

Headline one, rest home bans visitors. Headline two, pasta spill. I've got three news headlines. You've got to pick one of them only. The others are deleted forever. Headline one, rest home bans visitors. Headline two, pasta spill. And headline three, post-it note guy gets fined. Go. What was the pasta one? I just heard pasta and I was like, yum. Pasta spill.

It's been a pasta spill. Truck crash with pasta on board. Correct. What kind of pasta was it? Lasagna sheets I don't know exactly Macaroni elbows 10A I think it was a mixed variety of pasta

What's this one that looks like seashells? Oh yeah I think they're called shells or seashells Seashell pasta are they? It must have an Italian name though Like an Alconce or something No you're probably not wrong right? Because they do look like those things you hold up to your mouth though. Like an Alconche or something. No, you're probably not wrong, right?

Because they do look like those things you hold up to your mouth and you're like Oh my god! What? Kind of. Conchigli. Conch from the conch shell. Igli. I don't know what Igli means. I don't know if I knew that subconsciously or

It was sitting in there. Yeah. Conch igle. Yeah. Which is Italian for conch. Italian word, English conch. And it's the same as the Greek one, so we use the same. And what kind of pasta would you use?

Mum would use those in one of those pastas she takes to a pot like, hey. Those ones, those kind of... My mum uses this in like this cold pasta salad thing. Yeah. So you cook the pasta and then you make like a salad-y dish. Yeah. Yeah. I seem to remember it being used sparingly.

Yeah, right. And a tuna... Oh, okay. A fish pie. Yep. Right. Hmm. Interesting.

What? What are we talking about? Pasta. Pasta spills. Okay, well, you've kind of dealt with that one. Post-it note was one of them. Do you want post-it note, guy gets fined or rest home bans visitors? Rest home.

Why would a rest home ban visitors? I rest home bans visitors. Yeah, I want the rest home too. Do you? Okay. Is that something to do with? No, no. We rest of them too. Do you? Okay. Is that something to do with... No, no, you... We go to Ontario now,

where, oh, look at this 97-year-old. Oh. Oh, she's like, hello, my daughter. She looks pretty good for 97. So in that photo that I'm showing and holding up to Vaughan and Megan... She looks shocked,

got a hand over her mouth. And in the reflection, that's her daughter, who is not allowed to go into the rest home to visit her... Measles. Her 97-year-old mother. No, not because of measles. Because the rest home trespassed her for a year because she complained about the conditions of living.

What? And she's not the only one. Apparently, a lot of the parents of the people in the rest home have been trespassed because they've complained about the service. And so they're not allowed to go and visit their own parents. Is there some kind of regulations? Well, apparently not because it's a, so the rest home have turned around and said, no, that they've been very aggressive in their complaints

and threatened staff. Well, dare I say that when your parents are in a home and you pay through the nose for it, you would demand only the best for them. I don't think that that's out of line. To loudly voice your concern at the treatment of your old folks. And it's becoming, you know, a problem in the industry, isn't it, all over the world.

Oh, it's been a problem for a little while. The way that the elders are treated when they're in care. But yeah, apparently this is one rest home's way of just silencing people is just to trespass them. They just don't let them come in. And then they can't go and visit their parents. That's terrible. So it's an ongoing issue. It's actually quite a serious story.

Very serious. But yeah, I mean, there'd probably be some people that would be stoked with that. What, not having to go see their parents even if you hadn't been trespassed

you'd be like I can't come in today I've been trespassed they've trespassed me I can't see you oh well saves you having

to like say oh you can't say that nowadays which is how I said I've only got oh I love it to pieces but I do have to say that to my nan I don't know if we say that anymore nan that's how I said it. I've only got, oh, I love it to pieces, but I do have to say that to my nan.

I don't know if we say that anymore, nan. That's how I say it. I don't know if we can say that, yeah. We won't say that anymore, nan. Do you even say that to your racist gran? I just gave up. Just gave up. I don't get it.

Yeah, I don't argue. I just leave her with the point. Yeah. I'm looking for, I actually, I haven't had a, I'll catch her with the point of I'm looking for actually, I haven't had a I'll catch up with Nan at Christmas, I haven't had a good chat to her since Leighton Smith retired from the airwaves. Oh okay, she'll be

missing him. Yeah, she doesn't mind a bit of Leighton Of course she doesn't She's over 75 Yeah, yeah Doesn't mind a bit of Leighton ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Porch pirates. This is a term that relates to courier deliveries

being stolen from one's drop zone. Usually a porch. If it's left on a porch, it will be stolen and the people doing those raids are pirates. Porch pirates. Is this as much of a thing here as it is overseas? Because, like, you always get the card to call, don't you? They never leave a parcel.

Unless you sign a thing giving them permission to leave it and you write a specific area where they can leave it. Some of them hide it around your house. Yeah, yeah. So there was over 2,000 people were asked by a research company if they'd ever had anything stolen off their porch. Yeah.

36% of the Americans who took part said they've had at least one package stolen since they began online shopping. 31% said that that package was stolen during the holiday season. Yeah, that always breaks your heart when you hear of someone getting robbed and all their Christmas presents are stolen. Yeah.

So 92% of those surveyed of 2,000 people said that they would be doing at least some aspect of their Christmas shopping online. Yeah. And they would avoid having expensive items sent to their home out of fear of them being stolen. Get it sent to work. Yeah. But then a lot of people don't work in an office

where you can have someone that signs for things. Is that not cool in some workplaces? Like, you know, you hear about real, like, some stuffy workplaces. They're like, we don't need our mail room being tied up with personal deliveries. Because our one is, eh? Yeah, or our house is. Shocker with online shopping. I'd imagine over the next couple of weeks, it's going to get bad too.

It's going to get out of control. But they know. I always get stuff left on my porch all the time. And as far as I know, I've never had anything stolen. God. Yeah, right. But you've got to go quite a way up to get to your porch. Yeah, that's true. And you've got that ferocious, scarred dog, so. Yeah, he'll definitely

lick you to death. Yeah. He'll be like, shit itself with excitement. And they'll be like, oh God, I don't know what that dog's got. Yeah, that dog's got something contagious. No animal vomits for no reason whatsoever. Apart from that dog. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

This is an article on the Huffington Post. It's just from a guest writer. But she makes a very good point. Okay. She has talked about ageism. She is 39 and when she tells people, she always hears,

you look 10 years younger. Don't worry about getting old. Don't worry about it. What's wrong with that? Don't worry about getting old. So, yeah, you look 10 years younger. Don't worry about it. She has said that this is ageism in its finest.

So she says it puts a delusion, it's an exercise in delusion, it puts a premium on youth and insults growing older. And then when people say their age, they say it like an apology and then everyone else is like, oh, but you look great for your age. You look so much younger. I actually never thought about it like that. I think she does raise a good point there. It's an insult on your age, cloaked as a compliment.

Yeah. But at the same time, like, you look good, so just take it. Yeah. She said that women get it maybe more than men, and because there's that saying

that men age like wine and women age like milk. I've never heard that saying ever. Yeah. So can we please stop saying it to each other? Do you get a bit lumpy? No, like sour. Sour and lumpy. Hard to pour.

Curdling. Then we've got to tip you down the sink and try not to breathe in. That's why women have dates printed on them and you've just got just gotta get a new one before they expire. And that's why people make ticking sounds to you when you're in your thirties. We love that.

TikTok, TikTok, yeah we love that. No, they might be telling you about TikTok. Great new videos to get on board. How about you, because you, the other day you were like, I've got ID'd, I've got ID'd. You would get this as a female. But does that, do you take it as an insult?

Nah. Nah, because you're just like, yeah. Yeah, I tell you every time I get ID'd. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's her personal take on it, isn't it? Whereas other people quite enjoy that and take it as a compliment. But I'd never even thought about that side.

Furthermore to my reasoning of don't talk to anybody. So you don't have to have that conversation in the first place. Well, you don't have to work out where they stand on these sorts of issues if you don't talk to them. It is a little bit hurtful when you do show them your ID and they're like, oh, okay, go through. Oh, you old ass bitch. Oh, yeah, what are you even doing here kind of face.

What's worse? Yeah. Yeah. So just check my ID and smile and don't make any comments. Don't say anything. Good. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Elon Musk's cyberbertruck was revealed.

This is the next step for the Tesla Motor Company. Quite a shock. It's quite a shock. The ripples felt throughout the internet. And today's top six deals are the top six things Elon Musk's Cybertruck looks like. Number six. It looks like somebody turned the graphics setting too low on their computer to make sure their computer would run the game that they were playing fast enough. And apparently that computer desperately needs an upgrade.

Desperately. Yeah. God, the memes for this were great online over the weekend. I don't mind it. Is it just because I'm blinded by Elon? You're blinded by Elon. What did I hear someone say at the weekend. I don't mind it. Is it just because I'm blinded by Elon? You're blinded by Elon. What did I hear someone say at the weekend?

It's because we've been told how trucks and cars should look. Yeah. So why can't it look like that? Exactly. But I mean, for anyone who's ever had a stainless steel bench

or a fridge. Fingerprints always. Always getting fingerprints on me. Always cleaning. Always cleaning. You'll be able to get them powder coated. Get a nice powder coat

on there. True. On the Cybertruck. Number five on the list of the top six things Elon Musk's Cybertruck looks like. One of those rubber

door stops that your mum puts behind the door so it doesn't slam when a gust comes through the house. I have those. Yeah, it does look like that. They're good.

Yeah, they're great. They're great. A little bit of rubber on the bottom so it won't slide. Yep. But that's not what's on the truck. Number four on the list of the top six things Elon Musk's cyber truck looks like. It looks like the sort of thing you dream up when you smoke too much weed with Joe Rogan while you record his podcast.

Which of course famously he did. Was that this year or last year? Early this year. Or last year? Yeah. It's happened. I think it was last year. Somewhere in the annals of time.

And then he went off about that Thai caver. Yeah. That was all kind of around the same time. That was like a year or so ago. Number three on the list of the top six things the new Tesla Cybertruck looks like. It looks like the sort of thing you show to a crowd

to freak them out when you're an eccentric billionaire just before you go, guys, I was just joking, of course, don't be silly. Bring out the real Cybertruck. Looks like a decoy. Yeah. Throw you off the scent. Number two on the list of the top six things

the new Cybertruck looks like. One of those shapes from maths class where you get one internal angle and you have to work out all the rest all the other angles and the lengths of the side using the syn-cos-tan buttons on your scientific calculator.

There were some problems with the exam last week, wasn't there? Did you see that? Yeah. And I looked at the questions and I was like, yeah, that does look hard. That is a problem. But every maths exam was hard even if they found it easy. I was like, yeah, that does look hard. That is a problem. But every maths exam was hard even if they found it easy. I haven't seen

what the problem was. Well, apparently some nerd students came out and they were like, oh, that was even hard for us. And they were like, well, this can't go. Shut up, nerds.

Shut up, nerds. Now you know what it's like, nerds. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things Elon Musk's Cybertruck looks like.

It looks like a truck I drew when I was a kid in the 80s. And that's what we all thought trucks would look like in 2020. So why aren't we more on board? Yeah. Back to the future. Total Recall. All the time travel movies set in the future all had trucks that looked like that. So why don't we freak out when one actually happens?

Let's give it a blast. That is today's top six. It's the time of year we buy presents and we get presents bought for us. Lots of Secret Santas too, which is sometimes hard. Oh God, when do we have to have our Secret Santa done by? I've got no idea what I'm going to... Like a week or two, right?

A week. Two weeks. A week away. Nah, not two weeks. A week. Oh. Nah. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah, you don't know. Not two weeks. Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm not coming. So there is a bunch of British psychologists.

Yeah. What's the other one? The other one's the other one. Psychiatrists. Psychiatrists or physiotherapists or psychologists. Yeah. What's the other one? The other one's the other one. Psychiatrists. Psychiatrists or physiotherapists. Physiotherapists. Or psychologists. Yeah.

Did you say that one? Okay. Psychologists. They've come up with 10 questions that if you answer them, it will give everyone an idea of what you want. Okay.

These are questions you can answer to get your present or you can ask someone to find out what they want. Because sometimes you just don't want to do that thing that I just literally said where you ask them outright exactly what they want because Because sometimes you just don't want to do that thing that I just literally said where you ask them outright exactly what they want

because there's no joy in that, is there? Yeah, you want to feel like you know them and it's a surprise. But then also it's such a waste of money if someone buys you something and it's like you're not going to use it or it's rubbish. That's why the psychologists have done this because they want to stop the crappy presents

and the wastage. So one of the questions is imagine you have 24 hours to do anything you want, what would you do? What a great question. But it's not going to be like going by a scented candle. Skydive or something. Yeah, oh, right. Oh my God, I can get them. What's something I've always wanted to do?

Yeah, go bungee jumping. Yeah. I don't know what I'd do. I've got no answer for that. Yeah, it's a very, it's a big question, isn't it? to do. Yeah, go bungee jumping. Yeah. I don't know what I'd do. I've got no answer for that. Yeah, it's a very, it's a big question, isn't it? Eat KFC. Yeah. Am I going to die at the end of this?

I think you're going to die. I just think it's a guilt-free. Oh, yeah. You've got 24 hours. What do you want to do? I'd eat carbs. Okay, so there you go. Already I'm thinking about bread.

I know, but I don't want that for Christmas. She wants a loaf of bread. Carbs for Christmas. She wants some sourdough. I'm getting you a loaf of sea of butter. for Christmas? She wants some sourdough. I'm getting you a loaf of ciabatta. No. Oh yeah, nice.

Nice choice. It's hard on the outside but a nice soft bread inside. How do they do that? They put water on the crust, don't they? No, no one knows. Steam the crust?

No one knows. Only the people of Chiab know. And they're not sharing their bread making secrets. No. Finish the sentence I'm the world's

unknown expert in... Everything. Ribbons. Ribbons? But then you get ribbons. What am I good at? Stilt walking, but I don't want stilts. This sucks.

You're the world expert in stilt walking. No, I'm not. I can just do it. Online shopping. You're a world expert in online shopping. Oh, yeah, but then how does that help you for my Christmas present? Get you a voucher for something for online shopping. This Christmas, you decide to donate everything you own except three items.

What do you keep? That's a good question. Because then you're like, bed. What would you keep? My makeup, my Dyson ear wrap And Oh plug Yeah Carry on

That was a shameless hashtag spawn What's going on here I'm not going to say my hair dryer Because it's not a hair dryer It's your Dyson wrap It's not a curler What's the third thing though That you're going to save

My dog And Mr Toyboy dies No I feel like he was a gimmon No he wasn't Is he not a gimmon But living things included. Yeah, no, it doesn't include living things. It doesn't.

Oh, right. No, you only include living things. My shoes! Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. You're also like just bulk. You're bulk. Ordering things.

But there were things in there that, you know, like shoes. Don't buy my shoes. You'll get it wrong. Okay, right. Don't bother. Okay. What's one thing wrong. Okay, right. Don't bother. Okay. What's one thing you could watch or read about forever and never get bored of? That's a good one because then...

You get a DVD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's getting DVDs anymore, Megan. That's the thing. How is that going to help? Because like Netflix and stuff. Where do you put a DVD these days? Who knows?

I don't think you tie them up on a string to scare away the birds. That's what I was actually thinking about. Anyone got any old CDs? I've got fruit, I've got the fig tree coming in

and the persimmons. It's so tacky, it's so tacky. Get some marbles or something. Do marbles work too? Well, don't they? It's shiny things

because they think it's bird's eyes and they're like, let's get out of here, the birds are here to eat us. The birds are already here. Dumb birds. This is a good one for you, Fletch.

What do people assume you like but you secretly don't? Why is that a good one for me? Well, because you like cats but not like that much. Well, you don't always get silly cat things, do you? Yeah. And you don't want like cat figurines and stuff, right? No, no. Sincerely not.

Yeah. They don't go with the decor at all. Who's the best gift giver you know and why? That's weird. Getting some little insight there. Yeah. Okay. What are you most looking forward to next year?

And what's the best gift you've ever given someone? Just little thought starters, I guess, to get the ball rolling, especially if you don't know someone that well at work. Well, I'm not going to give someone 10 questions at work for their secret Santa. I'm literally going to go out and have to spend $20. What's the most boring thing you can get someone for $20? It's still a gift, but it's boring. It's like a supermarket voucher, right?

Because that's still good, but it showed zero thought. I know, yeah. Everybody does that. When have you ever got a voucher for a supermarket? It'd be like a stick. A flag or something. It's a what? A flag.

A flag? It'd be like 20 bucks, and what am I going to do with the flag? I like to, for Secret Santa, go to those, you know, like the $1, $2, $3, $4 shops or whatever, or Look Sharp, and just buy the stupidest thing for $20. But that's wasteful. Well, the whole Secret Santa thing is wasteful. Just buy them a countdown voucher, then they can at least go get themselves something for Christmas Day.

Yeah, zero in the supermarket vouchers is the win. Yeah. Because it's zero effort on your behalf. Well, I'm going to get a supermarket. But people always appreciate them. I'm going to get a supermarket voucher for a supermarket that's not in their city. An oldie. Make the work for it. They have to go to Australia to going to get a supermarket voucher for a supermarket that's not in their city. An oldie. Make them work for it.

They have to go to Australia to cash in their oldie voucher. Yes. That will teach them. For good users, 20 bucks an oldie. You're walking away with like 8kgs of chocolate. Yeah. That'll teach them. For being your workmate that you're supposed to buy a nice secret Santa for.

But I'm forced to buy a secret Santa for. Okay. Again, I'm all for the cash equivalent. I'm all for the cash equivalent. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An Auckland man who got a $80 speeding ticket three years ago and decided to fight has now been stung with the legal bill topping over $9,400.

This is stubbornness, eh, at its absolute finest. Yeah,9,400. This is stubbornness, eh? At its absolute finest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, why? You need to be really, to me, if you're going to contest something, make a big deal out of it, the minute you're hiring lawyers for an argument,

you've got to be loaded. Oh, yeah. The minute they have any involvement. But why? Even getting other people lawyering up and then they win, loaded. Oh yeah. The minute they have any involvement. But why? Even getting other people lawyering up and then they win and you become

culpable. Well you've got to pay their legal bills. Then that's expensive too. Because you've also got to pay theirs and yours. Yeah. Does it say why he had an issue with his $80 fine? So apparently a speed camera fine in July 2016 snapped a car going over 50 kilometres an hour in West Auckland.

Now, the guy who got served, he said that it's not him, I was not the driver, nor the registered owner. However, the number plate was registered to him. Right. So when the number plate's registered to you, you're responsible for the fine. It's on you. You pay it and then you track down which one of your shitbag's kids was driving

the car too fast. You give them an absolute earful and make them do 18 years of chores around the house to pay off the fine that you've just paid. But that's when it got out of control and he contested it and he didn't show up to legal meetings and everything got out of spirals.

So $90,000, how much? No, no, $9,400. Right. In legal bills. Yeah, yeah. Just pay the fine. Have you ever had a fine and you didn't know you received the fine? No. I had a friend who had a't know you received the fine? No.

I had a friend who had a car registered. It got a speeding fine and it got sent to his address, but he'd moved and hadn't re-registered his car to his new address. And when they finally tracked him down, it had blown out. But then once you put in the effort of proving, oh, no, I left that and this is the tenancy agreement I signed to show you that I've moved and oopsie daisy. Will they let you off a little bit?

Sometimes. Right, okay. I'm not saying that's the case every time. Yeah. I'll tell you what, if you can be bothered writing a letter, I reckon the majority of times, they'll let you off. Write a letter with a good excuse, you might get off. Well, you're not going to get off the initial fine. But you'll get off the

what they've tacked on. Except that bus lane fine that time, do you remember? That was a good one. Because I was driving my dad's ute. So I got the fine while they were away and took care of it all while they were overseas. But it was like, look, check where I'm registered to. I'm not an Aucklander.

Oh, my God. I was following the sat-nav. And it said, go into the left lane to turn left. God. I was following the sat-nav. And it said, go into the left lane to turn left. Now, I just followed the sat-nav. As I said, I'm not an Aucklander. I'm from a little town called Morrinsville. Yeah, look it up, mate. Did you write on behalf of your dad?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote as him. And it worked, too. They were like, all right, you bloody country bumpkin. Bloody boomer. Yeah, I go boomer. That was even pre-boomer. That was pre-the-boomer too.

Well, they had the term baby boomers, but not boomer. No one was throwing it around like that. No. No one was throwing it around like that. We wanted to know this morning, if you've ever had a ticket get out of control. Maybe it was ignoring. And it doesn't have to be a car related. It could be, I know library fines because people are like, eh, I just want to go back to the library.

And then the library is like, we're going to make an example of you. Because back in the day when you'd hire DVDs, they were the ones that would get, because you'd move and you'd have like one overdue fine and that would just skyrocket. And then before you know it, Baycourt was trying to knock on your door with an address that you don't live at for the last five years. Go back even a little bit further and when you'd get VHS tapes and you had to rewind them.

Well, I don't know if this was the case everywhere, but when we were kids, if you didn't rewind them, there was a little penalty because they had to pop it in that specific rewinding machine that they had behind the desk. Doodums. There was a sticker on it that said, Be Kind, Rewind.

But then a mate's dad took real issue with the fact that they'd ask you to rewind when they had a specific machine for it. So he'd return them unrewound. And get fines. And then they'd keep tacking on like, it was only like 50 cents a time. But every time you did it, he wouldn't rewind it and it started to add up. And then, yeah, he had a big argument with them about how that bloody machine got paid for for a reason.

Get rid of my fines. And they're like, nope. And it was this real standoff. Right. Okay. So maybe you've had a fine. It got out of control. You didn't know.

We want to know when a fine got out of control. Maybe you didn't even know you had this fine. And then next minute, you know, yeah. Neck minute. Neck. Neck minute. Whatever, dudes. And next minute, maybe. you being neck minute neck neck minute whatever dudes and next minute

maybe I'm not a bitch yes you are well you are a little bit of a bitch I'm not a bitch you are a bit of a bitch well I was at a bitch

I was just making fun of a saying we all said once that we don't say anymore well I know some people say it and that's what makes you a bit of a bitch

the only people my dad says neck minute. Yeah. Like it's really into Burma territory, right? Yeah. So we want to know those fines that got out of control. Maybe you didn't know you have it and then before you know it, everything's being repoed. Some text messages in.

Someone said, I had a car written off. I got taken to the wreckers. Two months later, I got a fine for not being registered or something. It was really weird. It turns out the workers at the wreckers had taken the plates off the car and used them for all sorts of shenanigans. I had the insurance company to prove all the details, so I totally got off. Still, though, you'd be like, for a moment there, looking at that bill.

That car died five years ago. Sheena, what fine got out of control? I had a $2 library fine years ago, and then suddenly I didn't know about it, and then I got a Bacorp letter of $63. $63? Oh, they escalated? Because I didn't know, but they actually,

companies sell off their fines, don't they, and their debts. I didn't know the library did it. Yeah, because it's like just a little innocent old library, isn't it? Are you kidding me? Have you heard how that woman goes,

shh. She is waiting to sell your debts. She wants your kneecaps broken for that time you didn't, shh. Yeah. When she shh. She does.

Sheeta, thanks. You call Elena. What fine got out of control? It wasn't me, but it was my flatmate. A few years ago, he received a $60 parking fine from one of the Wilson's car parks. They're good people. I've never heard a bad word about Wilson's. Being a big corporate company, they wouldn't waste their resources coming after him if he didn't pay for it.

So he didn't pay for it. So he didn't pay for it, and he ignored all the letters they sent until two years later, a debt collector came knocking, and his $60 fine had racked up into $460. And there was nothing he could say to get out of it, and he ended up having to go to court to pay it. And also, that would be on his credit history too. That'd affect that. He very quickly found all the old other parking tickets he'd received and hadn't paid and paid them. I love people like that.

It's like when you meet someone and they're like, oh yeah, I'm not really paying tax. You're like, well... They think the rules just don't apply to you. Yeah, you're not going to get away with this. Yeah. These things catch up. They do, Elena. I don't really pay tax. I, you're not going to get away with this. Yeah. These things catch up. They do, Elena.

I don't really pay tax. I don't really pay tax that much. Yeah. You should. Yeah. Thanks, you call Elena. Some text messages. Someone said, flashback to the early 90s,

hide out the Lion King on Sega Mega Drive as an overnight game. P.S. Great game as I remember it. I remember it being quite a good game too. Three days later, Mrs. Top, who owned the video store, Mrs. Top. Called mum and said that I had not returned the Lion King on Sega Mega Drive, even though it was an overnighter.

I got a clip around the ear and a week on dishes to make up the $6 in overdue fines. $6. Mrs. Top never really trusted me again. No, yeah, she'd never rent you the overnights again. No. You can have the week highs, but you're not having the overnights. I got a parking ticket in the Hamilton CBD, so I emailed them debating why I didn't need to pay it.

While I was emailing them, they gave me more overdue fines, so a $12 fine became a $70 fine. I was like, ah, I should have just paid it. They should have just been happy someone was in the CBD and not at the base. I would have emailed back and say, I am doing my bit for the inner city rejuvenation.

You know what? From now on, I'm going to go to Hillcrest, Dinsdale, and the base. Get stuffed. Get stuffed CBD.

I had 3K owing on a student loan. Paid it off. I was like, yay, I've paid off on my student loan and then I found out there was $6,000

in hidden interest that I had to pay. Does it not show you as a grand total? Yeah, I thought so. I thought they showed you the grand total, yeah. Maybe someone was reading

the small amount on their statement and picking what to pay off. Yeah, that doesn't work like that. No. It doesn't work like that. Somebody said that I, lots of people, library fines. Lots of library fines.

Really? What are they? Because I haven't got anything out from the library in ages. I forget that it exists. I need to read that book. I'll just buy it. They're far more forgiving these days. Are they? Yeah. Because they want

people to go there. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. $160 fine for no warrant or reg. Went to $800. And I didn't know about any of this because my weasel ex hadn't told me that he'd taken the unregistered, unwarranted

car out. So they knew it didn't have a warrant and register. It was sitting at home until they could get one, but somebody had been taking it out and driving it. And then all you left is you just take them to Judge Judy. Yeah. It's hard to get in there. Well, you're just going to have to pay that back yourself, aren't you?

Who would be the New Zealand equivalent of Judge Judy? Suzanne Paul? Oh, I can imagine her. She'd solve it. She's too nice. She'd solve it. My arrogant ex-boss argued with a cop that pulled him over. He got pulled over for speeding, but he accused the cop of tailgating.

They love that. Yeah, and so the cop decided to add a few more things. And that's the thing about it. They can pull you over for one thing, but if they look a bit deeper, they might find some more. So the $80 speeding fine went up to $400. He proudly told us about this, all of us, the next day at staff meeting, about how he'd told that cop what's what, and who cares, $400,

I'm not even paying it, didn't pay it, kept going up, and then he got in big trouble. So he wasn't so macho anymore. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay.

Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. There are some dating terms that you need to know going into 2020. So these are things like, you know, bread crumbing. No. Bread crumbing is the one where they leave crumbs of interest. We've spoken about this one before. I was thinking of a schnitzel, like a bread coating. You got excited about schnitzel again.

Yeah, I got very excited about anything that's coated. What was another one? Periscoping, where people just pop up back into your life. And then like a periscope on a submarine and they're like, hey, let's have some good times. And then they're like, ooga. And then they disappear foriscope on a submarine and they're like, hey, let's have some good times. And then they're like, a-ooga. And then they disappear for months again. Yeah.

Well, there's some new ones for 2020. Some of these are quite funny. Fleabagging. So this is a la Phoebe Wallerbridge. Is that her name? Yep. From Fleabag. She wrote Fleabag.

This relates to consistently dating people that are wrong for you. Fleabagging. What is that? Do you call them Fleabags? No, that's her character's name on the show. Oh, okay. And that's what she does. Oh, okay.

Got it, got it. Dial toning. So it's different to ghosting. This is when someone gives you their number to like text or call. They're like, here's my number. And it is their number, but they just never

message you back. Never answer your calls. Wow, okay. I feel like I'd do that because I panic when someone asks for your number because some people

do like one digit wrong if you don't want to give it to them. Yeah, yeah. And then they can be like, oh, I thought it. Yeah, right. Okay.

Dial toning. Yeah. You just leave them It's not answering calls. Dial toning. Yeah. You just leave them with the dial toning. Interesting. Cause playing. This is where cause, like. The cause, the Irish band, the family. Or fighting for a cause.

Okay. Oh, cause playing. Cause playing. Okay. What does that mean? This is when an ex gets back in touch with you after you've broken up to ask for a favour or sometimes ask for a charity-related thing or like running a marathon,

can you come donate? It's all a sneaky guise to get back into your pantaloons. No, I don't think it's even that. They just want money. Flying around the world in a hot air balloon. Raising money and such. Now drop your pantaloons and No, I don't think it's even that. They just want money. I'm flying around the world in a hot air balloon. Raising money and such. Now drop your pantaloons and let me in.

Is that right? Pantaloons. Pull up your jollipers. No, you pull down jollipers. Pull down your jollipers and let me in your pantaloons. Jodpers? Jodpers. What do I call them? Jollipers. Okay. Eclipsing. This is when...

You watch that movie, the third movie? Or the fourth movie and that awful vampire-y thing. Twilight. Twilight. I wonder what you were talking about for a minute. Mints. The mints. The mints.

This is when a friend gets a new partner and takes up a new found interest. And you're like, you've never been into that before. And they're like, well, I am now. And they pretty much have the same hobbies and turn into that before and they're like, well, I am now. Oh, yeah, classic. And they pretty much have the same hobbies and turn into that. What?

Caitlin's done this heaps. Don't roll your eyes at me. That's not me. Caitlin doesn't... I don't think you do that. I don't think you... Who are you rolling your eyes at then, boys?

I'm taking hobbies. We'll talk about it later. Acquire... You don't acquire hobbies, though? I think that was an unfair... Yeah, no, that is actually unfair I thought that was unfair I mean, I acquire people's dogs and babies

to help me with my game You should be real careful casting aspersions like that I'm no dolphin guy I don't know if you're a I'm at a dolphin safari you know, at the weekend I've never really heard anything about that.

Fragile glass house that you're flying stones in. It's unbelievable. I feel attacked. I feel attacked. Exoskeletoning. That's where you date primarily crabs. This has never happened to me. This is weird.

Okay. An ex, when the ex of your current partner keeps reaching out to you. Oh, that's weird. Via social media or like. Why? So the ex of your current partner. So like Andrew's ex keeps talking to me. She does or you're just using an example.

That's the example. So what is the goal there? Are they trying to break you up? No, get to them via you. Or just to let you know that they're cool with it? I don't know. That's weird, eh? That is weird. Why would anyone? Or is it just they're into their life?

Yeah. So they've still got like, they still know what they're up to. Yeah. Weird. Yellow carding is where you call someone out for their poor dating etiquette. So that's kind of a good one. Red carding is obviously you dump them all together. Do you have to have a whistle?

You can have a whistle if you want. Do you have to have a whistle? You can have a whistle. Do you have to bring the whistle out at the restaurant or the bar on your date and then say, yellow card, I don't like the way you're speaking to me. Yeah. And glamboozled is when you get fully done up, you get ready for your date and then you get stood up and all your plans fall through at the last minute. You've been glamboozled. Glamboozled.

That's actually quite a funny one. That's my favourite. But really sad. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, that's what you need to know for Dating Terms 2020. Just quickly, before we talk about, I've just received a message on Instagram from Ariana.

Grande. Not Grande. Oh, boo. She loves that though. Okay. She sent me a screen cap and I've actually seen this

pop up a little bit you get a text message and it says your Apple ID has been temporarily locked please verify your details I literally just got that half an hour ago

did you yep and it says at HTTPS blah blah blah apple sign in account dot com

slash NZ but it doesn't say Apple in its entirety it says Apple dot com no PPL sign in now that's slash NZ. But it doesn't say Apple in its entirety. Apple dot com, no. It says PPL sign in. Now that's a scam. That's a fake. But how are they getting everyone's number?

They just blanket. Yeah, just try heaps of numbers. Blanket sending it. So yeah, I mean, yeah. She said, I'm not a 65 year old boomer or anything. And I don't know if this is a scam. I said scam. But warn your boomers.

Yeah. Or don't fall for that yourself. Don't fall for that yourself. I'm just too lazy. I'd be like, oh, I have to deal with that later. Yeah. And then just never do it.

Yeah. Wait till you actually can't get into something. Yeah. But then I wanted to click on the link just to see like what it looked like. What it looked like.

But then like, I don't want to give them like anything else. Yeah. Don't click on the link. Just grab Caitlin's phone. I'll do it from Caitlin's phone. Do that.

See what would happen. So there you go. That is a little bit of a... PSA. PSA. Good. Good PSA. Now heading into the festive season.

This is a bit... We get this... All the American results of this happen a little bit earlier because it's Thanksgiving this week. Yeah. Which means Black Friday sales Friday, Cyber Monday sales Monday.

And it means heaps of our favourite TV shows won't be on. Oh, yeah. Well, they'll be doing their Thanksgiving specials. Sure. So,

we get these sorts of results about spending time with family a little bit early because of Thanksgiving. But people were asked how long it takes them to get sick of their family.

How long it takes them before get sick of their family. How long it takes them before they need a little bit of time out. Should we go around the room? Oh, so just a time out. Like time out and then you can rejoin. Yeah. I need a moment. You go and do something.

Okay, so they've set a time amount. Solidarity. How long for you, Megan? It's definitely on the same day. It is. Just to have like a little time out because like I don't even live in the same city as my family so like you're always like oh I miss them so much

I can't wait to go home and then you go home and you're like I remember I remember why I moved to Ireland yeah right um a few like I want to say four or five hours. Yeah, mine will be until Dad asks me to fix something on his phone or the computer.

So like on the ride home from the airport. Yeah. No, Dad gives me a list at the start of the holiday so I can do it at any time. I know what I've got to do. You've got to get it done before you leave. And he's like, in your own time. Yeah. I'll have to add that one to the list.

I clicked on an Apple sign-in. Oh, yeah, you've got to tell them. That'll be something. So the average person... Wait, how long you, Vaughan? How long did it take you? I don't really get... Like, my immediate family, like my parents,

I don't really get sick of them. It's weird. Everybody else is sort of seasonal. I can put up with people longer in winter and some longer in summer. The difference between us is like, Fletch and I don't live in the same city. Neither do you, but you see like close.

Yeah, see them more often. You see them often. I would have thought that would have made you less tolerant of them. No, I'm very tolerant. Or just used to them. But you don't really go there to stay. It's not like you're going there

for like a whole weekend to stay, is it? You're always just popping and visit. In and out. You're in and out. But if you have to stay there... Stay there. No, it's... No, again, no, it's not a problem. I'm very lucky. I get on really well with my in-laws. Like, I give my father-in-law heaps of stick. But I get

on with him. Like, fine. I get on with everyone, but I need a break. What about your other, your brother and sister's kids and immediate family's kids? Oh, kids. Do they annoy you? Well, there you go.

I mean, you got your own kids. No kids are ever going to be as good. So how long? Ah, shit. How long have they been running around until you need a break? Five minutes. Five minutes.

There you go. I'll just go with that. That's a good thing because I've got lots of jobs to do now. I'll just take myself off and have a job to do. You're a dad now. That's what dads do.

Yeah, they take themselves off. They're like, oh. Is that what that means? You know when you're younger and your dad would be like, oh, bloody shit, that hedge is out of control. I better go trim that hedge. And it seemed like a weird time to trim a hedge. Yeah.

He just didn't want to be inside and sitting with the noise and stuff anymore. Yeah. I'll do this. I need to go and pet. The goat needs a pet. Yeah. I'll do this. I'll be like, oh, I need to go and pat. The goat needs a pat. What's that goat? You need a pat.

I'll be back in a minute, guys. The goat needs a pat. So on average, people surveyed three hours and 54 minutes until they needed to take themselves away for a moment. Okay.

That makes me feel better. Hmm. That's pretty accurate, I reckon, for anyone who's being honest. Yeah, that needs to get away from it all. Yeah, just have a wee time out. Take a bit of time. Enjoy that this Christmas. Yeah. See if you can get past the magic four hour mark and then you've really earned it. You're going a little bit further than the average. We were not invited somewhere.

It shocked me. It shocked me. When I saw on Megan's Instagram stories over the weekend that Megan and Mr. Toyboy went to a smorgasbord. I don't think we call it that. You call it a buffet now. Smorgasbord sounds real like mum and dad. No, that's what mum and dad's going to do. No, no, no, no.

I think we can still call it a smorgasbord. No, it's a buffet. Smorgasbord. A range of open sandwiches and delicacies served as hors d'oeuvres or a buffet. That's not the smorgasbord that I grew up. So it's not a smorgasbord. Originating in Sweden,

it's a served buffet style with multiple hot and cold dishes of various foods on a table. There we go. All right. Right. So smorgasbord became internationally known at the 1939 New York World Fair. Huh? That was when the word smorgasbord took off. Huh.

Okay. Relatively new word. Well, either way, you went to a buffet at the weekend and Vaughan and I both know from our multiple and numerous times of eating with you that you don't eat a lot. I... And you don't eat seafood. You don't eat a lot and there's so much you

don't eat. Do you? Because I did put on my Instagram story there's a mountain of oysters and I thought of Vaughan and Sade. We love oysters. We're getting gout, baby. We want to get gout together. I was like, we love oysters. Love oysters. We're getting gout, baby. And I did. We want to get gout together. I did say these are wasted on me,

but then there was also like a Christmas ham and I was like, this guy's not. That's your jam? Yeah, I'll eat a Christmas ham. Put a Christmas ham. But I did,

there was a lot of seafood and I don't eat anything under the sea. I'm just not a fan. I do. And I was like, oh man, I love this.

I'd eat it all they had crayfish I'd eat that little red crab off the little mermaid what's his name Sebastian I'd eat him

I'd eat him I'd eat her mate flipper the little tropical fish flounder I'd eat her the mermaid that's

yeah take that back I'd eat the little mermaid I'd eat king titan yeah would you eat everyone in Spongebob Yeah, take that back. You don't know how Mermaid tastes. I'd eat King Titan. Yeah. Would you eat everyone in SpongeBob? Not Squidward. Not SpongeBob.

SpongeBob's a sponge. Not Patrick, actually. That'd be pretty safe. That'd be pretty safe. Mr. Krabs would be on the menu. And a Krabby Patty or two. Right. You know, we got asked and there was no mention of you two.

So you got invited to this buffet. Yeah. For that new festive dining. Because it's Christmas. Maybe it's because I love Christmas. I love Gordrie myself any time of the year, especially Christmas. It's wasted on you because you didn't eat half of it. And you're like, that'll be enough for me after one plate.

I did. I was like, I think that's enough actually. You are meant to leave a smorgasbord. So disgusted in yourself. We literally, when we got home, we were like, are you like so full you're going to pop? And I was like, no, I actually think I did very well to contain myself. He's like, yeah, I'm fine too, actually.

What a waste of a smorgasbord. Maybe this is why we didn't get invited. Yeah. There's certain etiquette to a smorgasbord. You've got to not eat. You have a big breakfast, and then you just absolutely ham yourself with water. You starve yourself all day.

Slam yourself with as much water as you can take to stretch the tummy, and then there's the evacuation. You get a lot of urinating, and then you hit that thing ready. Like you are walking into the schmasbord and you're like, I'm faint. I'm faint. And you're like exhausted. You get up too quick.

I want like a little bit of a whoa. And star, you see stars. You cough too hard. You almost pass out. Like I want you on the verge of collapse when you hit that smorgasbord. And when you leave, you are so well fed you could just do yourself a mischief. You're not one of those people though that dishes up heaps and leaves half of it on your plate. No, absolutely not. I was raised by Marlene and Alan Himes. My grandparents wouldn't let you go up for more until you'd

finished your plate. I only dish up what I can handle because I hate it when people leave heaps on their plate. The Smiths are planners. Not a lot, but eating is one of the things we'll always plan. Like, I'm not here for the soups. I'm not here for the soups. I'll have a bread bun, but it's only to... No, it's only to lap up the really nice sauce that I enjoyed. Okay, because you don't want to waste the sauce.

Okay, I'll let you have that. But otherwise, they're fillers, buns. I won't be touching anything at an ooh-la-la buffet that's cheap. I want all those expensive meats. If I see someone putting rice on their plate at a buffet. Oh, yeah, no. I had rice. No.

For the Indian curry. It had to be paired with the rice and the naan. You go curry on curry. You go, you do curry on curry and a naan. Yeah. And even then, don't go crazy on the naan. One naan. Maybe go half a naan with a friend.

That's empty carbohydrates. You've got to save a little bit of room for pud, too, because if you overdo it on that and you've not planned it out well enough. We've found the reason you weren't invited. Strategy. Both of them. I think you should. Strategic warfare on the smorgasbord.

I think you could sell an online course. How to smorgasbord. I think you could sell an online course. How to smorgasbord with Vaughan Smith. You know those ones that are always like, hey, you want to get into property? We'll teach you how. It's like, well, hey, why aren't you doing it? That's my question for the property people. Oh, yeah, right, okay.

Hi, I'm Vaughan Smith. You got a smorgasbord coming up? And you're a bit worried you're not strategically planning ahead? Do you want to get your money's worth? Yeah. This ain't no property thing, baby. I'll teach you to eat and eat well. How much will you charge for your buffet course?

Just free. They pay for my entry to the buffet. Because I have to train them on site. So you're more of a coach, more of a buffet coach. Yeah, yeah. It's like when you go to South Africa and you have to go there a little bit ahead of time to play rugby at altitude. Yep. We have to go to the smorgasbord that you go to South Africa and you have to go there a little bit ahead of time to play rugby at altitude. Yep.

We have to go to the smorgasbord that you plan to eat at and you pay for me to get in and they'll teach you how to do it well. They only give you a 90-minute window because of people like you. Yeah. Right, I hadn't planned on that. We're going to have to change our strategy somewhat. Okay. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Science is here to tell you who you should go on holiday with. Shut up, science. Psychologist has said that there is, in fact, this is females. Okay. I don't know if this is the same for guys. I'd say so. I'll speak on behalf of all men today as their elected leader. Were you elected?

By men. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't have voted to the vote. And Fletch chose to abstain from voting. So yes, I'll speak on behalf of all of you. I was busy. Doing we never know what. Oh my God.

Carry on. So Dr. William Chopik, Chopik, Chopik, irrelevant. He suggested that there is genuine evidence to prove that girls trips make you happier. Okay. Girls going on girls trips. Girls weekend or just a couple of weeks on the Goldie with the girls. Going away with your BFFs. That's a long time on the Goldie.

Yeah, it is. It's really important for your happiness. He said these are relationships of choice. You choose to hang out together because you really enjoy each other's company. And a Harvard University study has said that social connections like these friendships not only give you pleasure, they also influence our long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking. I'd say guys going away would be the same. Lads, lads, lads. Lads, lads, lads.

I mean, it probably would be a more feral trip away. Yeah, is it good for your health, though? I would think, you would think it would be a feral trip away, but, like, my lads chat with my mates, look at the moment, it's a lot of, like, lawn, like, look at these straight lines, lads, and I've decided. Are you sending each other pictures of your lawns? I'm lawn mowing.

I'm like, I've decided I'm going to go do circles around the fruit trees. What do you guys reckon of this? And they're like, oh, that looks hot. I was like, yeah, good stuff. And oh, yeah, good, good shortcut there, getting some good growth. I don't think it would be feral anymore. I think it would be like really, really chill. Right.

What's the state of your WhatsApp, Fletch? I'd be bloody shabby. Like it's literally just probably like. He deletes his. I reckon he's a deleter as he goes. He's a deleter as he goes. He's a deleter as he goes. He's got WhatsApp. Every now and then WhatsApp's like,

do you want to create a backup of all your chat? Fletcher will be like, God, no. No, it's just with my mum. She sent me a lovely picture of the beach the other day. Oh, please. There's a whole cool beach. Go back to your main screen, though. Absolutely not.

You're totally a deleter as you go. No, I'm not. No, they're all still there. Oh, God. You're playing a dangerouseter as you go. No, I'm not. No, they're all still there. Oh, God. You're playing a dangerous game. They text me. Carry on. I've never actually been away.

Oh, no, I have. Yeah, I'd say I was pretty away. This is interesting. Carry on. I'm trying to think when I've actually been away or like a girl's trip. It's really sad. I don't. But what about with Ellie? You'll be springy. You'd go away. We've never like a girl's trip. It's really sad. I don't know. But what about with Ellie, your best friend you'd go away?

We've never done a girl's trip. But you're best friends. You've been best friends forever. Like she's always busy and I'm always busy. Have you been on a lad's trip recently? Not recently. This is really sad and eye-opening. I went on, that must be two years ago.

Yeah, we went for a hike up north. That was cool. That was good. And you've been on a lad's trip recently. Sure, sure. Yeah. Just really loving roasting you today. But it doesn't always end up, like, good because, you know,

you can think that everything's going to be fine and you go on a girl's trip and then, like, you might find out that they're terrible travellers. And they say that's how you, it's the biggest test of your relationship when you first travel together with someone, maybe an overseas country, whether it's your best friend or your new partner. Yeah. Because you're going to see each other, you're going to be in each other's face

24-7. Yeah. Because we travel with you because we have to for work. But I don't know if I'd do it by choice. Megan, I'm extremely well organised. You're very organised. Yeah. But should anyone deviate from that organisation?

Well, because it's not on the itinerary. You can't just go saying we're going to do another activity when it's been planned. Yeah. Yeah. Even just dawdling's not tolerated. Not an option. Well, no, because we've got places to be at a certain time. Yeah.

That's why I'm like, hurry up. Yeah. Fletch walks at the speed of everybody's mum at the supermarket when you're a kid. Mum's walking quick so you can't stop and look at the hundreds of thousands of biscuits. She knows which aisles to avoid and all the other ones she's going down at breakneck speed. Pretty much, yeah, pretty much. So I thought we could take something positive, like the story going on girls trips is good for your friendship,

and turn it into what ended your friendship? Was it a holiday? So when you're on holiday, what ended it? Yeah. Okay. Like those stories when you went away with your friends and you came back

and you maybe didn't talk to each other ever again. Oh my God. That would have to be something pretty big on holiday for you to end a friendship. I don't think it would be. Really? I don't think it would be. Something really trivial. Someone just tired and someone will say something in the spur of the moment.

And then somebody else will take wild offence because they're all so tired and then there's no immediate apology and then things just spiral out of control. Yeah. Okay, well, give us a call.

0800 DALES AT M. You can text us 9696. What ended your friendship on holiday? Science says going on holiday with your best friend makes you happier until something happens.

And that's what we want to know this morning. Like, when did a holiday ruin... Ruin your friendship. Yeah, maybe you came back from a holiday And that's what we want to know this morning. Like, when did a holiday ruin... Ruin your friendship. Yeah, maybe you came back from a holiday and that's it, you've never spoken again. What happened? Because that's the thing,

you might be away from someone for two or three weeks or even longer. And like being friends with them is fine, but you've never been on holiday with them before. And then suddenly they're uptight. It's make or break kind of stuff. Oh, some juicy tags. My friend stubbed his toe when we were on a private island in Vietnam.

Yeah. And went into shock and couldn't move. That's horrible. You'd be like, okay. No, I'd be like, it's a stubbed toe. Get up. No, do you know how much they hurt? Have you done one of those as an adult?

I went into shock and not moving though. I'd whinge about it and constantly be like, oh, that toe's still sore. No way. It's a stub toe. Get up. Don't be silly. Is that the end of the text?

No, no, no. Had to be put to bed because he couldn't move after the shot from the stub toe. Next morning gave us all shit because we didn't take care of him well enough when it happened. So there was a massive fallout. His leg didn't fall off. No. Come on, it was a stub shit because we didn't take care of him well enough when it happened. So there was a massive fallout. His leg didn't fall off. No.

Come on, it was a stubbed toe. It didn't. We were on holiday at 17. My mate got really drunk and wouldn't stop throwing up. So we called her mum and told her mum. Oh, that's mean. No, I don't know what mum, because it was a four-hour drive. Yeah, maybe she needed to be told, though.

Raylene, what ended a friendship on holiday? Yes, I went away know what month. Maybe she needed to be told, though. Raylene, what ended the friendship on holiday? Yes, I went away with my girlfriend over a new year, and they had an amazing batch, beautiful, beautiful spot, and they were all keen as to go out on the boat. I love boats, usually all about it, but I was pregnant and was having really shocking morning sickness. So I said to them, I'll just hang back at the batch, You guys go out, have a good time.

My friend just lost it. That was it. And so there was a very, very long, quiet drive all the way back from Paihia to Hamilton in silence a couple of days later. Why?

Because you didn't want to go on the boat? Because I didn't go out on the boat. But surely that would be fine. It was very understandable. Yeah. Well, yeah,

clearly it wasn't. So sadly that was the end of that friendship. Yeah, I got it. And you've never spoken since? No. And how long were you friends for? Oh, years before that. You know, we'd met about five years earlier, so.

Oh, my God. What the hell? That's so weird. Like, good enough friends that you can be invited away to the batch for the weekend. But you just don't want to go on the boat. Yeah. Yeah. No.

And like I say, I love boats. I'd usually be out there. So it was pretty legit. But I was like, nah, honestly, guys, I'm really not feeling well. I'll be feeding the fish for you. And yeah. Yeah. Maybe they wanted you for their, like, up their quota of fish.

Maybe. An extra body for six more snappers. We can't get any more snappers. Good one. Daisy Coraline Anonymous, what ended your friendship on holiday? An extra body for six more snappers. We can't get any more snappers. Good one. Thanks, you, girl, Raylene. Anonymous, what ended your friendship on holiday? So we went to Vegas for my best friend's wedding. Yep.

And we had the hen stew two nights before the wedding. Okay. The hen got so drunk, blackout drunk, that we ended up in hospital for IV fluids and that. And which, because I was the maid of honour, was obviously my fault. Yep. So the wedding two days later was super awkward and they haven't spoken to me since we got home. But it's not your fault.

Oh, I know. Oh my God. Yeah. You're maid of honour. That's like besties Yeah I know And how long were you friends with before the wedding? Oh yes

Oh that's so sad Do you ever wish though That you could repair that friendship? Or are you just like don't, who cares Oh do you know I did For the first few months And I really tried reaching out in that, and I just got nothing back. So that was earlier.

That wasn't like today, so it's kind of done now. Wasted energy. Done. That's so sad. Anonymous, thanks for your call. More text messages. I went on holiday with two of my besties. I noticed one of the girls was glued to her phone more than usual.

Then I saw my partner's name come up on her phone. On that girls' trip, I found out my partner for eight years was cheating on me with one of the girls was glued to her phone more than usual. Then I saw my partner's name come up on her phone. On that girl's trip, I found out my partner of eight years was cheating on me with one of my best friends. Needless to say, holiday ruined. No! I mean, that went without saying, to be honest. That went without saying. You know what it is.

But yeah. Wow. Okay. Our friendship ended as we were on holiday and didn't inform our friend we were going to the buffet breakfast at the usual time. It was a huge blow-up. Oh, no, that's fair.

That's fair enough. I mean, two people that, as you've just heard, have been hurt by a friend going to a buffet without them. If you were staying at the resort and you were going to the buffet, every day you were going at 8 o'clock, and then one day you're just like, well, 8 o'clock's become our routine. We're going to go at 8 o'clock. And the other person's like, have you been?

And you're like, yes, we've already had breakfast. Why didn't you tell me? Go again. Just go again with them. I've done that. I've double buffeted at a hotel. I would have been like, why didn't you guys tell me? Grr, and then you get over it.

But also, you know, I always wake up way earlier than most people. So I'd just go and eat because I'm hungry and I don't want to be hangry. And then I'd again go to the buffet. It's best for everybody. Yeah. Road tripping from Dunedin to the North Island and my friend crashed her car. The car was just sitting in the middle of the road. She was sitting in it saying, I need to call my mum.

I need to call my mum. I was like, we've got to get this car off the road. She went into panic mode. Didn't want to drive anymore. And I was like, well, what are we doing? What's the story? And she's like, well, I don't know what I'm doing. So I flew home because she didn't want to like tell her parents that she crashed the car. Right. She does not sound great in an emergency or under pressure at all.

No. Sounds very panicky. We went on a ski trip And I said to everybody Is it cool if You know we'll stick together But during the day When we're skiing We'll just do what We're capable of And everyone agreed to it

And so they went skiing And then at the end of the day Everyone was really shitty with them Because they didn't Like stay on the learner slopes With them Yeah see that's independent People aren't very independent

No And you'd agreed to it already. Yeah, you were pre-agreed. You can't go back on the agreement. What, do you have to get a signed legal agreement? Get a lawyer in the group of friends. So you don't want to have to be paying for a lawyer every time you're going on a group trip.

Just sign some sort of legally binding group agreement. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. agreement. Fact of the day day day day day Today's fact of the day is that this year 2019 a Māori word for dry powder fire extinguisher was added to the

official Māori dictionary. Kia ora. Dry powder fire extinguisher was added to the official Maori dictionary. Okay. Dry powder fire extinguisher. No, not an inkling, a real desire to just let off a dry powder fire extinguisher lately. I don't know why.

I've seen them around and I'm just like, I want to squeeze that. Because I got one for like 15 bucks from... From Bowling's? Yeah, it was like a big... Mine are 10. ...clearancy stack of them. You're saying dry powder fire extinguisher.

Yeah. Is that not the norm? Well, it depends on the fire, doesn't it? It does. They have different types of fire extinguishers. You would use a dry powder fire extinguisher at your cafe if there was a fat or oil fire. Right. So you've got a fire extinguisher on the wall,

but I couldn't tell you what's in it. That would probably be a dry powder fire extinguisher. Yeah. And that is the one that gets you jazzed. What? What's the other one? Foam. There's a foamy one.

Yeah, I don't really know. You don't see as many foamy ones anymore. I just know always to see the powder, yeah. Yeah, right. Because I want to do that thing where you push yourself along in an office chair. Yeah. Hard. Yeah.

You've got to have a big one. Okay, yeah. And a really good wheel on an office chair. Okay. And a low centre of gravity. I mean, these are the kind of things on my bucket list. I'm a simple person. Well done.

Well, then, if your secret Santa is listening, maybe they could get you a little $20 dry powder fire extinguisher. Why don't you just look like, are you my secret Santa? Nope. Is Megan? No. You know who mine is.

We all discussed who we had. So we get a new secret Santa triangle of silence. A cone of silence. Breaking the rules of secret Santa. Yeah. But I didn't know this. I found this very interesting. Te Toto Fiti is the Māori

Language Commission and it adds about 300 words every year. Okay. Because back then they wouldn't have had dry powder fire extinguishers. No one had dry powder fire extinguishers. There was no name for them when Captain Cook landed because they weren't invented yet.

I'm going to do my best. Okay. Dry powder fire extinguisher. Puotu Puri Teneahi. Okay. And also added this year, coriander. The Maori word for coriander. Some people absolutely hate coriander, don't they? Genetically, dislike it.

Koriana. Koriana. I like those ones. Very similar. Similar? Yeah. Yeah. There's one, and I like,, like they have these at the airport.

And when you arrive, we are a bilingual nation. Three official languages, New Zealand Sign Language, English and Maldi. So, you know, those should be on, you can't have sign language on the bin. No. But you can read, you know, sign languages when it's been spoken. Yeah. So there's the amnesty bins. You know the whole,

have you got an orange in your bag? Put it in here or it's $400. Declare or dispose. That's an amnesty bin. So I dropped an iguana in there once. So you can't bring it back. Well, at least it had something to eat. I'm having second thoughts

about bringing this iguana back into the country the iguana drops in, it's like, oh well an orange, that's okay an apple, that's good, what's this bag of white pearls I'm going, well I'm an iguana so the amnesty bin amnesty bin two small words

but the translation is best is pawaka, hua, whaka hui, k've got quite a long word for amnesty bin. Yeah, right. Yeah. And another thing I learned, Chinese is an official Māori word for Chinese people. Okay. So that's like ni hao.

Yeah, right. And do you know what Māori people call the French? What? Wee wee. Because you know how French people are always like, oui, oui, oui, oui. And they're not the only people. I learned that the native people of the Canada region call the French the oui, oui, because they say oui, oui so much.

There must have been a Māori word for Chinese people before now. No, apparently not. Really? Just Chinese. What about back in the early days? Well, it would have been like, remember growing up on the news when there was a Māori person speaking back in the 90s and they'd be speaking fluent te reo

and then Winston Peters would drop in. It must have been like that with Chinese. Right. Because there was no specific word. Oh, right. Officially recognised in the dictionary. Right. But now there is.

So today's fact of the day is of all the words added to the today-o dictionary this year, we got one for amnesty bin, one for dry powder fire extinguisher, coriander, and Chinese. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, the 25th of November, four weeks away. A month away from Christmas Day. I'm jazzed.

How long has your tree been up now? You did that... A week or two weeks. Late for you too. Yeah. I usually do it like the 31st of October, the end of October. It took you a while. Does October have 31 days?

Your giant roll of black Christmas wrappings arrived today. Yes. 50 metres. It's heavy. It's half a tree. Yeah, I wasn't entirely sure how much I'd get, but I think it'll be enough. For the next 10 Christmases. Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't entirely sure how much I'd get, but I think it'll be enough. For the next 10 Christmases.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, a psychologist has said that Christmas decorations and decorating your home early brings a sense of nostalgia for happier times and decorating early or Christmas decorations just in general make you happier. They do.

See, look at me. I'm happy. I'm jazzed. But my dad said to me, he's like, oh, it's a bit early, isn't it? And the next thing I know, mum was like, dad's telling me to get the Christmas tree out. So he's caught the bug. He needs a bit of zhuzh. Everyone's always stressed about the presents and buying the food and the money and stuff.

But that's why you've got to get the decorations up early and enjoy like the festivities and the fun stuff. Before you get stressed out. Yeah. Stressed out. Well, the psychologist says in a world of stress and anxiety, people like to associate with things that make them happy and Christmas decorations invoke those strong feelings of childhood. Yeah.

So she does also say that it's either to relive the magic or to compensate for past neglect. I think mine's to compensate because my mum's Christmas tree is awful. It's got a lean on. And she, instead of buying a new one, she ties it to a pole to pull it up, right? That's waste not want not. Mum's Christmas wrapping is always like pretty ab.

Right. So I've overcompens like pretty ab. Right. So I've overcompensated for like my past trauma of a creepy tree. Right, but you're making yourself happy. Yeah. So what if you were to have a happy childhood? What if your childhood memories of Christmas aren't happy? Well, that would be compensating. Compensating for a bad Christmas past.

It's win-win, though, isn't it? So you're either compensating or you're reliving the amazing nostalgia that you had. Yeah. Right. And either way, it's making you happy. I watched a Christmas movie. It's actually my second one of the season last night. New Vanessa Hudgens one on Netflix.

Oh, that looks horrible. It's actually pretty good. Is it? Yeah. It's terrible. I laughed out loud quite a few times, and the guys in it really... But was it romantic?

It's, yeah. Okay. But is it better than Love Actually? Oh, no. Nothing will compare to that. Nothing will ever beat that. Have you watched Claws? The new animated one?

No. Okay. Okay. What's that on? I think it's on Netflix. I don't want to say... I've had the end spoiled for me. Oh, okay. Have you not watched it?

No. But you had the end. Yeah, but then I made a mind with kids as well because he wanted to forewarn me about the ending. Oh, because you might cry. Yeah. Oh, someone dies on Christmas. I don't know. Someone die.

He just said it very, yeah. Right, okay. You just watch yourself coming towards the end of this. Right. I think I might write a timeline of when I'm going to watch everything because I've got to save Love Actually for the pivotal moment and who am I going to watch it with? Who gets the joy of watching Love Actually

with me? Because that's a prize in itself, is it? Well, you're going to watch it every year, but I don't want to like hit it too early. Yeah, right. And then I don't want to do it too late, like Christmas Eve. That's too late to enjoy it. So I might do a little timetable of ones that I need to watch and scatter in the new ones. Don't look at me like that.

That's the thing. Oh, you have fun. Yeah. How is this with you? Because you're renowned for being tied us with your power bill and not turning on the hate pump in winter. We're only allowed the Christmas lights on when we're in the room that they're in. We didn't have them on yesterday because I watched. I always remember as a kid feeling ripped off

because it gets to this time of year in New Zealand and it's very long nights. You know, the sun doesn't go down for ages. And we'd have to go to bed before it was dark enough to enjoy the Christmas lights. Oh my God, that's the saddest thing. Yeah. Could you shut the curtains and just pretend?

You could still see the light was creeping through the curtains. But when you're getting up real early to watch cartoons in the morning, you could have flicked the Christmas lights on. No, it was still light. It was light by the time we were getting up. Yeah, right. I'm just thinking, that's why I don't have Christmas lights.

This is why I light fires. All right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Lots of people. What? What? I forgot what we did for a job. I was just looking at Fletch and then he finished speaking and I was like,

enjoying the silence and then you were like, lots of people. And I was like, what? I don't know, mate. I don't know. It's all right. Lots of people often say, what's wrong with you? You literally get a fright when I spot you.

Lots of people often say that it's cheaper to be in a relationship because of the benefits you get. You're sharing the cost of things. Well, especially in big cities with rent. Yeah. How many people do you know

that would love to break up with their partner, but they're like, wow, but rent would go up double. Okay, I know of one, but sure. I was going to say, I was going to say, I was going to say, it's pretty specific.

Well, it's been found, this is in the UK, that single people are better off financially than those in a relationship. So they've found that if you are living in a, I guess it doesn't matter, like if you're a mortgage or renting, you're spending 300 pounds less. So that is almost $600 less than if you were living in a relationship. So over the course of a year, that's going to be like thousands of dollars. Yeah. It's almost 7,000 New Zealand dollars you're spending less than those in a couple. You've got to add up how much Tinder dates cost.

But it'll still be way less. People should be splitting those, right? What if you were both earning money and so again, it would be like halved. But they've taken into account, so if you're single

you're probably more likely to be living in a flatting situation with more than one other person. Right. So you're splitting it, say you're in a house of four or whatever, you're splitting the cost four ways. Right.

So it's actually more beneficial to be like flatting with lots of people. Whereas if you're in a relationship, I mean, people still do flat, but a lot of the time you're living just the two of you.

They have also said that people who are single probably spend less on like anniversaries, birthdays, Christmases and stuff. If you're in, just the two of you. They've also said that people who are single probably spend less on like anniversaries, birthdays, Christmases and stuff. If you're in a couple, you've got more people to pay for. There's expectations. There's expectations for your partner.

And kitchen renovations. Yeah, that doesn't tend to happen. Small, minor alterations. Tiny renovations. Yeah, tiny renovations. So small you'll hardly notice. Yeah. Yeah, bougie trips up north to go look at dolphins.

Yeah, I mean, that happens.