ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 27 2019

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Andy Lee is on the show ahead of his new show on TVNZ 2 - Hamish and Andy's Perfect Holiday, Community Notices and your adult student stories.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Andy. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Just remember Andy Murray's x-ray when he got his x-ray done. That's right. And we all saw his penis. Everyone's like, Andy, see ya. See ya, bits. Yeah, that's right. Caitlin, can you please put my headphones on me? Oh, God. The red one's the right ear.

Gently, please. The cord goes in front. Don't put the cord behind. Why are you doing this, Caitlin? Tell him to bugger off. Thank you, Caitlin. They just need to be pulled down a little bit longer. A little bit.

I suppose I can adjust it myself. Thank you. Oh. What are you doing? You're just going to make a hell through. I know she's having some second thoughts about leaving me, so I'm trying to make her not enjoy the last couple of weeks. Right.

So that she knows she's made the right decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where were you under the illusion she's having second thoughts? She messaged me last night. I did not. Midnight. Midnight. Ba-ding, ding.

I'm like, well, this will be an emergency. I did not. But I'm Ba-ding-ding I'm like Well this will be an emergency I did not But I'm sleeping Ba-ding-ba-ding Another one I look And she's just like I've worn

I've done Am I doing the right thing? You're so full of yourself Mentor Advise me And then we We hashed it out And then she's like

Delete all these text messages And I was like Done Right Well if you missed the news yesterday, Caitlin is leaving us at the end of the year to become a nurse. We'll see. Do you see all the comments on those posts being like,

man, you're annoying, Vaughn. Did you edit that video? You edited me out of it. Yeah, I did. What did you do that for? Made an executive decision. Because you were doing silly jabs. And it was Caitlin's moment and I

thought Caitlin deserves some limelight. I made it all about you. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Now I'm leaving so prepare to make another sad video. Mate, you're not leaving. You've got nothing else. I've got lots of other things but none of

them pay the bills. Yeah. None of them. None of my prostitution careers dried up. Did it ever get off the ground? Oh, was it? Yes. Heck, did it what?

It's dried up now, but it used to be a boggy marsh. So lush. Right. Joining us on the show after 8 o'clock this morning, Andy Lee, who is on Have You Been Paying Attention Tonight on TVNZ2 with you, Vaughan. He's done some other stuff as well. Hayden? Yeah, Hayden and Andy.

Hayden and Andy. Yeah, you might have heard of their radio show. Somewhat what you would say of a successful broadcast in Korea in Australia. Their new TV show... Perfect Holiday. Yeah, they're great at nailing these travel shows, eh? Just going all over the world.

Let's go on a holiday with our mates and make it work. Yeah, that is airing after Have You Been Paying Attention Tonight on TVNZ. Yeah, yeah. Three episodes, longer form. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time.

Three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. And Vordermaggen picked only one headline out of the three. Headline one, 911 caller asks a lot. Headline two, man rolls window up on police officer's arm. And headline three, Mick stab. Oof. Those are the headlines today.

911 call asks for a lot. Asks a lot. Ask, or was it ask a lot? Asks a lot. Like for a lot, sure, you can say for a lot. But not asking for a lot of land or a parking lot. Right, right, right. In case you were wondering.

A lot of things. Someone got stabby at McDonald's. Story number three, right? Don't need to hear about that. Take your anger to a Happy Meal place. Yeah, don't.

It's great life advice. Bring that mess in here. Now I want a cheeseburger. Chum, chummy. Not now, but it would be nice at some stage today. Okay, that's okay. What do you want? You instantly crave cheeseburger. Chum. Chummy. Not now, but it would be nice at some stage today. Okay.

That's okay. What do you want? You instantly crave cheeseburger. Can you ask for extra pickles? Yeah. I think you can, but I don't know if you would, though. That would be a monster move. No, but sometimes they give you like one or two.

That's never enough pickles. It's just like centrally located. Yeah, I feel like four is what you need to get it even spread. Yeah, you're damn right, at least. Okay. Six if you know how to stack. Yeah. Tell me, one was the 9-1-1 call.

You want that one, 9-1-1 call? All right, we go now to Peel Regional Police. Where's the Peel region? I'll tell you something, it's in America because they've got a 911 number P-E-L Region USA Toronto, son, actually this could be in

Canada They've also got 911, interesting It is, it's Toronto It's a regional Municipality We go now to Toronto in the Peel region where a young woman was running late for her train. So she did what every person does when they're running late for the train

and she called 911. 911, do you need police, fire, ambulance? This is in terms of an officer. I'm supposed to have a trip to union station it's the ride that was supposed to show up for me this morning did not and i don't know how you guys work with services in terms of that because i'm in a taxi right now but it's not going to get me to the station on time for um my train to board at 9 45 okay i'm i'm sorry so you're in a taxi cab and you think you're going to be late for your train ride at Union Station? Yeah.

And so what would you like an officer to do? Do you guys offer emergency ride services or not? An emergency ride service. No, I don't know how you guys operate. Well, I can assure you we don't do that. My apologies. Okay, so you can call a cab or get in the cab and

go to your appointment. Okay? You're welcome. Bye. That was the most condescending chat. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed was pretty much the tone. The tone. You can imagine. And you can hear her getting dressed like, okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. She took

a shot. I don't know I don't blame she was polite about it yeah but in her head what she's like I'm running late so in her head she's imagining

lights and sirens and a police escort to the train station you miss 100% of the shots you don't take bloody Oprah's here and Spoh

and Spoh on your when are they is this the motivator is the motivator back the motivator's back baby it's been a while I don't know if that's the right voice you're deeper Inspo. Inspo on your win-arte. Is this the motivator? Is the motivator back? The motivator's back, baby. It's been a while. I don't know if that's the right voice.

You're deeper. No, the motivator's always enjoyed a durry and a secret drink. Yep. Yeah. You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. There we go. So that would be, yeah, you know, she took a shot. She took a shot.

Why not? Yeah. She's still late. Yeah know, she took a shot. She took a shot. Why not? Yeah. She's still late. Yeah, but she tried her best. She tried all of her avenues. She exhausted all of the avenues. You see that? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Oh, my God. I'm just reading more into this story. So, you know, when people get burglarized, often there's like nasty remnants or like they'll drink their alcohol or they'll eat their food. Even that someone else has been in your house is just horrible. You'd replace your toothbrush. Yes, I was going to say you always replace your toothbrush because you just don't know what kind of creep's been in there. But this happened to a family in Rotorua.

They were burglarised and they found that the burglars had done more than just take their stuff. They hadn't done a poo in the microwave. What? Where did that come from? I thought there was like a... No. What is wrong with you? No, I thought there was like a... No. What is wrong with you? No, I thought there was like a common thing.

If your house is ever broken into and someone takes a shit in the microwave, look no further. I've got your criminal right here. I thought there was like a common thing. Okay, I've just Googled October 16, 2019 on Ladbible reporting here. A woman was livid that she came home

to find that she'd been burgled and the culprits left a huge poo on her living room carpet. No, it's a poo on the carpet. That's a carpet. You hear about that kind of thing happening. Like poos. That's next. If someone breaks into your house because they're falling on hard times

and blah blah, it's still, it's breaking the law and it's not good. But there's a part of me that's kind of like, well that sucks. But if someone breaks into your house, they trash the place and it's not good. But there's a part of me that's kind of like, well, that sucks. But if someone breaks into your house, they trash the place and they take a shit in your oven or your microwave. Got an oven's hard enough to clean a room. Imagine it full of shit. And Sacramento.

Baked on shit. Yeah, in Sacramento, this is worse than the microwave. Burglars defecated in the spa pool. See, I feel like defecation, I've seen it a lot. It happens a lot. Because if your spa pool pulls on a timer, that just turns on and that poo's going through the filter. Yeah.

Then you've got a whole filter sand situation. Good Lord. No, absolutely not. What, Fletch? What is wrong with people? Somebody dumped in the... I'm not even going to say this one, but somebody left something in the microwave and it was dead.

Oh. When they broke into these people's homes. No. Like a dead animal. Yeah. Oh my God. That's horrible. It was all fun and shits and giggles in the spa pool until now. That's disgusting. But I cannot find any

microwave poo story so carry on. Well this has nothing to do with defecation. Good. The burglars that broke into their house, they were looking around being, you know, like devastated that it's been ransacked and everything. And then when they went into the master bedroom, they found that as well as all their drawers and cupboards open,

the linen of their master bed had been taken off and their duvet was pushed down and there was an empty bottle of Appleton Estate rum beside the bed. So they were like, what has happened here? So they actually got into bed and had some fun times. Well, they were sceptical. They said later that day they discovered the mattress protector,

two pillowcases and their fitted sheet was rolled into a ball and tossed over the back cliff behind their house, which leads down to Lake Rotorua. So they were obviously hoping it was going to end up in the lake, but it ended up in the rock. Is there DNA evidence on there?

Yeah, so the police said to put it in a box. Did you know if you put it in a bag, it can destroy the DNA evidence? They said to put it in a box. They always put it into a bag on the CSI TV. No, sometimes they do use brown paper bags on the cop shows. Well, they don't use single-use plastic bags anymore. Thanks, Jacinda. Well, no, she said they rang the police, told them they'd found some DNA evidence.

And they said to put it in a cardboard box because plastic bags can destroy DNA. Who? So just remember that if you ever need to bag up some DNA. You need a DIY crime scene. Whoop, whoop, bag it up. How grim is that?

Yeah, that's, someone's had. Hey, look, we've all had a couple of apple wins, though, and found ourselves in someone else's bed. Feeling a little frisky. But who's robbing a house and then finding enough time to have sex in the master bedroom? And a drink. And then also desheet the bed.

Yeah. That's really ballsy to, like, know that you have enough of that time. They must have cased the joint and know how long those people are away for. But then it's like people's schedule changes all the time. And they were going away for like a, they were staying with friends or family for a night. So how are they to know that that's not a constant thing? And so job.

And so. You make a great detective, Detective Smith. Well, everybody's a suspect until they can prove themselves, they're not. Guilty till proven innocent. No, I think it's innocent till proven guilty. Not in this jurisdiction, buddy. From the ZM Think Tank,

this is the Top Six. Hello there. Geraldine's Kebab World. That's Geraldine as in the place, not a woman called Geraldine who owns a kebab shop. By the way, producer Caitlin all morning has been saying... No. Oh, yeah. She's been saying, she says kebab.

Kebab. Kebab. But it's not kebab. I feel like a kebab. She's like, go get a kebab. Is it a shish kebab? Kebab. Kebab. But it's not kebab. She's like, go get a kebab. Is it a shish kebab? Maybe. No, shish kebab still sounds better than shish kebab.

Why do you say kebab, not kebab? Producer Caitlin. Just, that's because of how it's pronounced. Kebab. So, I've just googled kebab or and it says kebab or kebab. Kebab or kebab. There would be like an R if it was kebab. Googled kebab or, and it says kebab or kebab, kebab or kebab. There would be like an R if it was kebab.

It's kebab. No, there wouldn't be. B-A-B. Yeah. No, we don't say kebab. We say kebab. K-E-B-B-A-B. Kabab.

Kebab. Kebabra. What's that? There's even kebab. Kebab. Someone searches kebab. It's New Zealand. We say kebab. No. We say kebab. Damn searches kebab. It's New Zealand. We say kebab.

No. We say kebab. Damn it. I think people can say whatever the hell they want. We know what they're meaning. Kebab. What's the difference between a kebab and a kebab? Kebab is US.

Yeah. Kebab is British. No difference. Okay. Just accents. Kebab. Good. Kebab. Okay. Just accents. Tababa. Good. Tababa.

Glad we sorted that out. You just yelled until she didn't say anything anymore. Until everyone agreed. Yeah, and now she's left. You have white man sorted it out. You just said it over and over and over and over and over until someone was sick of arguing with you. That's not on us.

Okay, man. Then you claimed that you were being picked on and you sound like one of those racist talkback callers. That's how we say it. It's tababa. No, I'm white. It's from my language That's how we say it. It's kebab. No, I'm white. It's from my language. Trust me, I know.

It's not. It is. All right. So they've been told in their enduroding, Kebab World have been told that their logo breaches trademark with McDonald's because it's literally the McDonald's logo upside down and then the writing is white on red that says kebab world. It's like, it's literally the golden arches

from a Google search, eh? Like they've not even tried to pretend it's something else. Like the arches aren't on a different angle. No, they're just upside down. It's ridiculous. And if you were boost enough, that might be kind of confusing. Somebody like, oh, McDonald's. Am I upside down? So I thought I had them out. They haven't even opened yet, by the way. Oh, okay. They haven't even opened yet, so I've got the top six new logo ideas for the Geraldine Kebab Store, Kebab World. Number six.

You guys might have heard of that small Kickstarter computer company, Apple. Yep. Well, there's no apples in kebabs, obviously, but there is a tomato. So you just change the stick to a stalk and hello, infringement-free kebab world with an eat you tomato logo. And who

from Apple's going to see that in Geraldine? No one. Nobody. Nobody in Geraldine owns an apple. They're all on Nokia's. Are they? Right. Okay, in Windows. Yep, you betcha. Windows 3.1. Number five on the list of the top six new logo ideas for the Geraldine Kebabs or Kebab World.

Now, there's a comic book company called Marvel. Yep. You guys probably haven't heard of it because you don't read comics. What do they do? Just all like superhero stuff. Okay, cool. Yeah. But Marvelous Kebabs.

Oh, yeah. Okay, make it a bit longer. Yeah, block white writing on a red background. Yeah. Marvel in capital letters and then Lus Kebabs. Bingo. Sounds delicious. And it also tells people how delicious the kebabs are.

They're marvellous. They're marvellous. Number four on the list of the top six new possible logo ideas for the Geraldine Kebab store, there's a little crafting website online called Pinterest. Yep. And they've got a P for a logo. Red circle, sort of a calligraphied P. Yep. Flip a P upside down

and it's a K-ish. D. It's actually a D. So then you've got to flip it and mirror it. Right. And it becomes a B. And Kabab has two Bs. Kabab World. Oh, I just said that's in the middle. With the Pinterest P's. And kebab has two Bs. Kebab world. Oh, I just see that's in the middle. With the Pinterest Bs.

Okay. Flipped and upside down. Okay, that could work. Totally. No one's going to have a problem with that. Number three on the list of the top six logo ideas for the Geraldine Kebab Store. There's a semi-well-known beverage company called Coca-Cola. Yeah, right. Yeah, their logo with a slight region could become kebab-a-known beverage company called Coca-Cola. Yeah, right.

Yeah, their logo with a slight region could become Kebab-a-folder. Because we all know the secret to a good kebab is the fold. Yeah. It's a tight tuck. It's a good fold and then it's a wrap in tinfoil. I can't see them coming after you. They wouldn't. No.

Maybe Pepsi, but I don't know. Oh, my God. They are so litigious. Number two on the list of the top six logo ideas for the kebab store in Geraldine that breaks no copyright rules is, personally, I quite like a chicken kebab. Okay. I like it when the kebab is full of chicken. Kebab full of chicken.

KFC has a lovely ring to it. Kebab full of chicken. Kebab full of chicken. KFC has a lovely ring to it. Kebab full of chicken. Kebab full of chicken. Yeah, KFC for short. Yeah. Yeah, girl, I like that. No problems? Yeah, no, I can't see any.

I can't see any. I know acronyms. Acronyms? Acronyms? Yeah. Is that the word? No, when the letters spell something. That's an acronym.

That's an acronym. No, now you've got me delving. I think it's used because there's an acronym and there's... It's not synonym. There's the synonym. It's a similar thing. Acronym's where you take the letters, right? Yeah.

What's an antonym? Oh, I don't know. He's one of the characters from one of those Marvel comics. Antonym. An antonym is a word opposite in meaning to another. Okay, synonym and antonym. Bad and good is an antonym. Okay. Antonym. Right, gotym is a word opposite in meaning to another. Okay, synonym and antonym. Bad and good is an antonym. Okay.

Antonym. Right, gotcha. We're learning. And we're having fun. We are having fun and learning. Number one on the list. Not Megan, she looks sour. She's not having fun.

You're not having fun? No, I'm fine. Well, you didn't know what an antonym is. No, I didn't. Well, now you do. So, are you having fun and learning? Yeah, I'm having so much fun. We're having fun.

Number one on the list of the top six logo ideas for the Geraldine Kebab store that infringe no copyrights. You guys probably haven't heard of it, but there's a shoe brand called Nike. Familiar. It's got a squash underneath it. Yep. That's a nice logo. And Nike ends in K-E, and that's what kebab starts with. Right.

So Nike kebab, Nike kebab, Nike bab. There it is, Nike bab. Nike bab. Nike bab. Nike bab, swoosh included. I feel like all of these you'd get away with in Thailand, but not here. No.

Well, Geraldine is the Thailand of the South Island. That's what they've called it. I've been to a couple of Geraldine ping pong shows. And I tell you what, seeing a middle-aged white woman do it, I don't know. It's an education. It's a real eye-opener.

Especially when you're related to one of them. That is today's Subsex. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. It is blank Friday on Friday, which means a lot of online specials. Maybe. Sales. This is a great on Friday which means a lot of online specials maybe. Sales.

This is a great time to do your Christmas shopping. Why is it a thing? It's the day after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving it's like Americans are like Thanksgiving's done now let's start

the Christmas craziness. It's right because you always see those people getting crushed to death in like store openings in malls in America because TVs are like

$1.50 so you just turn into this like feral zombie and you just don't give a goddamn about the rest of humanity anymore. Yeah. In malls in America. Because TVs are like $1.50, so you just turn into this feral zombie and you just don't give a goddamn about the rest of humanity anymore. Yeah. And this is something I've thought about before, but it turns out, and this study was done in the UK, but they've looked into the prices of Black Friday

and they tracked 83 products on sale on Black Friday in 2018 for a year. Okay. From six months before until six months after. And they found that out of the 83 products, four were cheaper on Black Friday. So that is 5%. Only four items? 5% of the items were cheaper on Black Friday.

So they said beforehand or after the sales is probably when they're going to be cheapest. But we're just conditioned when we see something like a sale and we see big flashy signs and we see a price crossed out, we're just conditioned to assume that we're getting a deal right when we might not be. Is that not illegal in New Zealand to do that? Okay, good.

If you spot this, you can make a complaint with the Commerce Commission. But what about it is illegal? Well, you're lying. You've bolstered your price. You're being misled. Right, so you've got a price and you take $100 off.

How is that illegal? No, the illegal part is... Is inflating the original price. So three weeks before the big sale, you put your price up $250. Right. And then... You take $100 off. You take $100 off.

You still increase the price, but that $100 drop can be marked as a percentage down. That's very cheeky. Yeah. Well, there's current situations with the Commerce Commission, and it's great because there's websites like price.me.co.nz and price.spy.co.nz. I love that. Yeah, they're really good.

So you go to them, you type in the product you're after, it'll tell you the cheapest place to buy it and how the price has fluctuated lately. Right, okay. I'm just on both of them because I don't- Is there a bar graph? I love a bar graph. No, it's a line graph. A line Right, okay. I'm just on both of them. Is there a bar graph? I love a bar graph. No, it's a line graph.

A line graph, okay. A bar graph would be a bars. Like skylines. I'm aware, I'm aware. Yeah, yeah. And what's a line graph? A line graph's just a line. Oh my God.

No, but a bar graph wouldn't be the right graph to use. Why wouldn't it be? Because it doesn't adequately show the fluctuation. A line graph is the line. Yeah, you can see the bars getting bigger and smaller. Like literally a line graph is just taking away the bars and putting... Maths teachers,

statisticians, back me up here. No, you follow that. Text me, text 9696. What would be the best graph to use to show the fluctuation in both bar graph and line graph? You still won't be able to see with a bar graph quite adequately. You just failed NCEA. Next you'll be telling me a pie graph is an adequate way. Oh my god, I love it.

I love my favourites of Venn diagram, but that's not to be used in this situation. Absolutely can't be used. I know, I know, but I'm just saying I love a Venn. Me too. A good Venn. Can't be used. I put a lot of effort into my shopping, so like I, if there's anything that I actually want, you look for it for a bit. Yeah, and then you can

see a good price. And then you get the average price so you know when you're getting a good deal. Yep. Especially if it's anything like these, a lot of which were electronics and kitchen appliances. Right. So the reasonable prices, you'd be looking into it. If you're in a store that does price matching

and most stores do do price matching, even if they don't advertise it, they do price matching. And you see the thing you want and you're in the store that does price matching, and most stores do do price matching, even if they don't advertise it, they do price matching, and you see the thing you want and you're in the store. Yeah, Google. Yeah, you go on to the price buyer, the price man. You find it somewhere cheaper and then you say to them, hey, I can get this somewhere cheaper somewhere else. And they say, go on then, see ya.

And if they do, call their bluff. Yeah. Do it. They love it. Retail people love it when you do that. I've found it somewhere cheaper elsewhere. Most of the time, they're conditioned to match,

you know, they've been told to price match. Maybe not advertise the fact, but they'll do it. All right, well, if you're shopping for Black Friday for Christmas this weekend,

just bear that in mind. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. A bit of a vaping news of late. And I'm always Suspicious I mean it doesn't I mean when you're sucking

Fog into your lungs It can't be like Good for you Good for you But I always think To me it's Smoking Pardon me

Is it better than smoking Because that's why A lot of people Are doing it I don't know Time will tell I guess But then I also think When there's anti-vaping stories

I feel it's like Big tobacco They're getting Like big tobacco Yeah right Funding all this research Do you know what I mean? It's like when all the

Anti-artificial sweetness stuff I think it's big sugar Big sugar Like everything that's Anti-something I think it's big something Yeah Like when that

Have you watched that New documentary? That one that people are like I'll never eat meat again I haven't But I want Game changes Yeah I want to watch it Because everybody's Talking about it Nah documentary, that one that people are like, I'll never eat meat again. If you look into it, game changes. Yeah, I want to watch it because everybody's talking about it. Nah, it's apparently

wildly inaccurate. Really? There's been a breakdown of it. No, well, you know, I'm of the other side, but I also enjoy a balanced presentation. Well, there have been a lot of vaping, lung related deaths and illnesses. I know President Trump came out, what, a couple of months ago and said,

we're going to ban flavoured vaping. And then it's done a complete U-turn. Yeah, but the weird part is, still happy to have guns. Yeah. Killing people. Famously kill people as well. Yeah, like there's absolutely no denial that the gun killed the person. Yeah.

But the vapings, you know, there's no hard evidence. But apparently a third of kids are vaping according to high school principals. This is New Zealand. Right, okay. This isn't an overseas statistic where we tell you that it hasn't been studied here yet. Apparently Auckland Secondary High School Principals Association President. Jesus. What's the acronym for that?

A-S-S. Arse. Arse-Pap. Arse-Pap. Arse-Pap. Arse-Pap. Richard Dykes or Arse-Pap Dickie Dykes. Who probably is already having a hard enough time

and now we've armed the children of Glendowie College with another thing to call him. Arse-pap, dick-pipes, dick-dipes, dick-dikes. Oh, no. Oh, God, he's already got enough on his plate. Said that there's a whole bunch of teenagers who have never smoked tobacco but are vaping because there's never been any advertising rules about... It was like when there was no

advertising rules about smoking in the 50s and 60s and even 70s. You see retro footage of the cricket or the rugby and it's like Rothmans. It's like, whoa! No advertising rules around vaping. Full stop. Is it RAT?

I don't even know what the age restriction of buying them is. Because there's no rules. Yeah. Wow, but a third, that's high. I know. Really high. Oh, dear. Somebody the other day said to me, do you want to vape?

And they held out their vape. I was like, your mouth's been on that. And then they got really insulted because they thought I was calling them a manky mouth. I was like, well, no, I wouldn't put my mouth on something your mouth's been on. You wouldn't hand someone else your toothbrush, would you, and say, here you go? No.

Do you want a brush? You'd hand someone your drink bottle. No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. No, God, no. No, no, no, no, no. Especially not you with your backwash. Excuse me.

You'd have little sesame seeds in there or something. Why sesame seeds? I don't know. You're always eating sesame seeds. You're a bird. Yeah, you and the other sparrows up on the bird bath are always like, oh God, here she is. And you're back washing to the whole bird bath.

Fletch, um, said to me half an hour ago, bought a chili bin. Bought a chili, because I was just telling him I've got a trade account now at motor 10 mega what do you have to do to get a trade account

well you've got to be a trader you've got to know you've got to bloody know the right people how do you get it because don't you have to be like a builder and stuff well I'm a hobby builder

a hobby builder wow and I but I was like well where was this information at the weekend when I brought a chilli bin but what does a trade account get you like?

Things at trade pricing. You're cutting. How much would a chilli bin be? Well, I don't know. I'm wondering if I can take this back and just say it's faulty. Dude, it was cheap enough as it was. I felt the reason you brought up the chilli bin was you felt emasculated when I said that I had a trade account. You were

like, well, I'm failing to measure up. So it was a real flop it out, measure it well, yeah. And you said, well, I bought a Chili Bin at Bunnings at the weekend. And I was like, oh, okay, so we started talking Chili Bins. And then what's wrong with my Chili Bin?

Why are you bringing this up? You were calling it an Esky for a start. Well, that's because that's the brand that it is But I realise that's what Australians call An esky In my head I'm immediately thinking Here's a guy who likes a bulk buy Yep

You see value in purchasing Large amounts of something Oh absolutely Like I just had to get out the funnel the other day To get my new liquid soap in, my new liquid body wash, just to get the last out of the container. It was great. Right.

Yeah. But there's also your environmental impact is taken back somewhat when you buy a five litre container. Yeah. That's one container versus 20, 250 mil containers. Exactly. Or whatever it adds up to. You're welcome, planet.

You know what I mean? You're welcome. So in my mind, I'm imagining a sizable esky chilli bin, maybe big enough to warrant a measurement scale on the top. If you were to take it on the boat and you do a catch, a snapper to measure it and make sure you'd hit the legal limit. Yep. This is what's in my mind.

And then... In my mind, I thought it was going to be like a real chic, maybe a black one. All black. Because you're always about... No, because the colours were rubbish. It was red or blue. Yeah.

Not all white. Down for a matte black. Oh, they get dirty, the all white ones. But there were some like... Especially if you're slapping a fish on the top to measure it from tip to tail. Again, I'm not doing that. This is literally just for Aperol spritzers

and ice cubes and like delicious drinks on the beach. So Fletch pulls up his chilli bin online and it's like, what's wrong with it? I wouldn't have ever thought it had warranted its own conversation piece. Well, it's okay. So it's a 33 litre. That's lots.

It's small. It's big. It's big. Well. A bit bigger. Yeah, but I okay. So it's a 33 litre. That's lots. It's small. It's big. It's big. Well, a bit bigger. Yeah, but I don't need a jar. I thought you were a size queen. You? Well, it sounds like you're both size queens.

Because I'm not measuring up. And I've just got a mini one. But then when I use a chilli bin, it's got to have a size-wise for me, family. You've got to take enough for everybody. Yeah, but see, I'm just buying this for the beach and for camping. You just need it somewhere to keep just a little bit of stuff cool. And also, I live in an apartment. I don't have a place to put a giant chilli bin.

Chuck a blanket over it, you've got yourself a lovely ottoman. Wow. Just thinking outside the chilled box there. They did have ones with wheels on them and, like, telescopic handles, and I nearly got that one because I was like, that's cool. Because sometimes, you know, when you put all your KGB and your ice in there, it gets a bit heavy. Yeah, and then when you're, like, going to Christmas in the park,

you can wheel it across the park. Oh, yeah. Carrying it. That would have been handy. So, right. What's been in there? Have you used it yet? Well, no, I'm going to use it this weekend because I'm going camping.

Oh. But I, I mean. Where are you going camping? I just feel like I'm not. Some canned Prosecco or what's going in there? You said your Aperol Spritz, your Premix, your Spritz? Well, you don't know. I don't know yet.

I'll sort it out. But it's big enough. Like, you're just looking at that little picture on the internet. How many people are you going camping with? We're not discussing the finer details. We're not discussing this. That's not big enough. How many nights are you going for?

Oh, just one. Camping one night. That's enough. Are you cooking your own food? No. Okay, so you're eating. I mean, let's say glamping. It's not big enough for, like, a party, like a group.

Well, no, it's not. It's just enough for, look, don't size shame me. Because that's what's happening here. Just wondering, you're never going to please anybody with that size. How big's your one? I don't know, you've seen it. It's like, to hold it, you've got to spread your arms and get it in the shoulders. Yeah, right.

It's a big white one. It isn't. We're so jealous. I see what you're doing now. Get it in the shoulders. Yeah, right, okay. This big white one. It isn't. Oh. We're so childish. I see what you're doing now. Yeah. What I'm doing. Chilly bin, big and white, penis small and pale.

Yeah. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello. And welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Now, a quick update. You might remember last time on the lovely Facebook page.

That's right, a man was after love. Phil was looking for love. Phil, he's lived there for five years, single for five years, looking for a lady to settle down with, loves walking on the beach, bushwalks, swimming, schnocking. Remember schnocking? Yep. He's got 80 chickens.

That's right. How was you if you were single? Yeah, well, you know me and schnocking. I go hand in hand. There's been an update. Okay. Phil says, just an update. Now, I don't know if it's got back to Phil that he needed to put some been an update. Okay. Phil says, just an update. Now, I don't know if it's got back to Phil that he needed to put some more details in.

Okay. If someone said, Phil, they've talked about you on the wireless. We want to know more. He's hoping to secure a lady. He says, the age group I'm hoping for is a 40 to 50-year-old. For me, there will be two drinking for me. So I don't know if he's had a few now. Okay.

Just letting you know. Right. Loves cooking. Yeah. If you text me, I'm happy to meet up at Matheson's Bay with coffee for a chat. See what happens. Okay. So I don't know what's happening there.

I'm always keen to hear about the update of a love life going well. Getting into summer. Yeah. It's the romance, isn't it? Yeah. Let's go to the Te Atatu Peninsula wanted free or swap no selling page. Okay. Chastity writes, good evening all.

I was wondering if anyone had a fruit or veg juicer that they no longer use. Oh, no. Or don't want, I'd be grateful to have. Would use its life abundantly. Thanks in advance. I've heard of steaming your vag, but no. Don't. Okay.

Yep. Carry on. From one typo to another, this was posted on the buy and sell swap free Te Omutu page. Yeah. Dawn from Phoenix Photography says, $80 for cheap photo shittings. Limited spaces. Sittings.

Oh, sittings. Yeah, sittings. Oh, dear. She slipped up there and ended up offering $80 photo shittings. This comes to us from the Napier News. This one's been skirting around the internet. Name withheld. So my partner and I got dinner tonight

and we were going to stop at the beach to eat, but instead we saw Clive Square and it looked beautiful and quiet. Okay. There was only us and some man with a small child. Anyway, we were sitting there eating, and we noticed some people living rough in the bushes. And then to my further disgust,

I noticed that they were in fact having sex. So as I started packing up my food, not trying to throw up, the woman engaged in the bush sex, her mansy comes over and catches her having sex with this other man, and it turns into a big scuffle in Cl bush sex. Her mansy comes over and catches her having sex with this other man and it turns into a big scuffle in Clive Square.

It was honestly disturbing. I used to love Clive Square. Is this the norm now? Sorry to share this disgusting story but I've just been wondering. Wow. I've never been to Clive Square. Maybe rebrands in order. That would have been exciting.

Oh yeah, that would have been exciting. Watch that go down. Oh, yeah, that would have been great to watch. Like the fighting. That would have livened up the fish chips. Yeah. Yeah. Meal and a show. Might have got rid of the seagulls.

How did he know she was there? And then why did she choose a bush? Yeah, out of all the places. Yeah. So many questions. It's nature's... Tent. Tent.

New room. Cover, isn't it? Getting into a bush. Yeah, right. Diana posts next on the Millwater and Tota Reviews families page. Now, I don't know a lot, but apparently this is a very well-to-do area. Okay. A new subdivision, Millwater and Tota Reviews.

Update, says Diana, in the ongoing saga of the poor state of affairs of our walkways and parks in Millwater. I had a call from Nigel, who works for the facilities. Whereabouts is that? It's like when you head north past Albany. I've got friends that live there, yeah.

It's very flash. Quite posh. It's all like new houses and new developments. Nigel has personally apologised for the overgrown areas in Millwater and said that this problem will be addressed shortly. He said that as far as he has been informed, most of the walkways and parks were being mowed. I assured him that this was not the case and offered to take him for a walk to all the areas

where I'd noticed knee-high grass. I have his number, so if our mowing problem's not addressed soon, he'll be getting another phone call. I told him that there were a number of very unhappy people living in Millwater and I hope, for one, that Nigel is a man of his word. Goodness me. Long grass in the neighbourhood. Jesus.

Nigel, you're about to lose your head, mate. Get out there and sort it. And finally, on today's community notices, let's pop down to Papakura. Papakura, spread the news! Brackets, unmoderated. Close brackets. To the guy at Pack and Save this afternoon

searching for treasure down the back of his girlfriend's trousers. I noticed a parent avert their young child's eyes from the scene. This is not appropriate supermarket etiquette, I would say. How about digging for gold nuggets somewhere more private, please? The hands down the back of the pants does not make one concentrate on their food shopping very well. What a snapshot of the country today. Yeah.

Really is. We've let ourselves go country today. Yeah. Really is. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, be sure to screen cap it and send it to FEMZM on Facebook. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all

thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. Well, it came out this week, the ad for Uber Eats Australia with Kim Kardashian and Sharon Strezlecki. Now, how do you say that?

Is it Magda or Magda? Magda. Magda. Subrinsky. Yeah. Sharon. Subrinsky. Yeah. Sharon. Subrinsky. From Kath and Kim.

If you missed the ad, this is how it went. Tonight, I'll be eating pesto gnocchi and garlic bread to keep me carved up. Hey, Kim, what are you going to have? Tonight, I'll be eating a chicken schnitty with chips and chicken salt. Ooh, nice. Nice. Kim, I don't mean to be rude, but it. Ooh, nice. Nice. Kim, I don't mean to be rude, but it's actually pronounced nice. Nice?

Nice. Nice. N-I-C-E, nice. Nice. So that happened. It came out. And people were wondering, and I wondered this as well, if they were even in the same room.

Because it shows the two of them sitting on a couch each in a lounge. Opposite couches, yeah. But not together. No, in the same shot. In the same shot, but not together. Not on the same couch together. Yeah, so it could have been easily cut. Yeah.

And it turns out it was. Because that was a big question a lot of people had. I believe the technical term is they locked off the camera. Yeah. And then superimposed her in later? I don't know that term. I don't know. I don't know that term.

I just know how it works. I don't know when you lock the little wheels on the bottom of the camera. We're locking off the shot. Right. Well, an Aussie radio station managed to track down Sharon and ask her about the ad. No, it's very difficult for Sharon because, of course,

Sharon's very busy. She's got a lot of commitments. She's got her indoor footy. She's got Little League and all that. So it was actually Sharon's fault. She couldn't be there with Kim at the same time. Kim was there. Kim was there and ready to go.

But Sharon just had, she had a very busy schedule. So she had to film her stuff a couple of days later. But in the same room, they were in the same room, just not at the same time. We did have a conversation. We had quite a long chat. And she's absolutely lovely. And she was so up for it.

And she said that afterwards, she and her sisters were watching the brushes and just crying with laughter. Yeah, they'd love that. They'd love Sharon. I know. They totally loved it. And it was so weird because I said, did you know what netball was? And she said, no. She said, yeah, we have this thing called the mat bomb.

Awesome. Awesome. The netball. Yeah, a little bit different. A little bit different. No, she was really, because she was like, what is this? But she was totally up for it. Like, she did the whole, got in the outfit, did the whole thing, you know,

didn't sort of balk at anything. And with each new thing that was suggested to her, I was like, seriously? She agreed to do that? So weren't in the same room, but she was up for a laugh. I forget that they wouldn't know what netball is. In America, yeah. Got the mat ball. It's like basketball, but they don't bounce it.

Pretty smart. Kind of. All right. I still want to know How much they Uber Eats paid Kim Kardashian To be in the ad It would have been

So much money ZM's Fletch, Warner, Megan The podcast Yesterday Producer Caitlin announced She's leaving At the end of the year

And she's going to Study nursing And she's going to Become a nurse And she's going to Change the world For the better Warren and I

Just had a great idea Caitlin That you should I don't think You should be telling The wrong No we're not going to change the world for the better. Morn and I just had a great idea, Caitlin, that you should wear... I don't think you should be telling everyone this great idea. No, we're not going to tell them the whole idea. And your great ideas when it comes to me haven't in the past always been really great ideas for me. I usually end up being...

It's classic Fletch and Bourne there, Caitlin. You're right. Because we're not going to see you next year. Yeah. Which will be upsetting for you. You wear scrubs for the last two weeks of the show.

Because you're going to leave to become a nurse. So you wear scrubs for the last two weeks. And it'll be funny. It'll be so good. Right. But what if people think

I'm actually a nurse and then, you know, it's like when they're on the plane and anyone's like, is there a doctor? Everyone knows you're not a nurse. Oh, okay, cool. If you're driving home and you come across an accident,

just keep going. Okay, because I don't actually know all of the stuff yet. I mean, I know first aid, but apart from that. Also, Caitlin was looking on the website. She's like, oh my God, yuck, do I have to wear this? The shorts are not that chic. But hey, it's not what I'm there for. But you are concerned at an aspect next year

because you have to return to study. You've got to do two years. Yeah, and so my last experience of studying was about 10 years ago when I was at broadcasting school living in O-House. And you were what, 18? O-House. I was like 17, 18.

Slept in a single bed, partied every night, had a blast. That place has seen some things. It really has. Especially both of us going there. Eh, Megan? Eh-oh! Anyway, James and

Anya also went there, so they've done some things there too but I'm so concerned about the fact that I am going to be 30 next year and I'm probably going to be around all these hot young nurses, people that want to be nurses and I'm going to be like the old bitch

but you're not staying in O-House eh? no no no no that would be sad I think it's for first years only. Because we had this guy, and I don't think he'll mind me saying, we had this guy called Nathan in our broadcasting school class. We had Michelle in our broadcasting school class. Well, he was 30 and he was married.

And we called him Gramps. Yeah, yeah. Like, that was his nickname was Gramps. We had Rocky, but he was all good with it. He loved it. Yeah, Nathan was all good with it too He loved it. Yeah, Nathan was all good with it too, but I don't want to be

like the grandma. I want to be, I'm like cool. I'm a cool, like, old person. the mature student at the front putting your hand up

all the time asking questions. How old was the 30-year-old in your class? Like, they seemed like so old. When you're 18, that's so old.

I was like, he's married. You're going to be hanging out with kids, young people. Young people. Now, the difference in age between you and them is going to be the same age difference as you and Fletch. Oh, my God.

I'm going to be the Fletch of the group. You're going to be the old lady. How is this all a set up? And I'm single as well, so I'm going to be like looking at everyone. And everyone's going to be like, you're being to be the old lady. How is this all a set up? And I'm single as well, so I'm going to be like looking at everyone. And everyone's going to be like, you're being old and looking at people. No, you might meet your future husband. I know, but also, oh yeah, I could do a Megan. I'll be 10 years younger.

The switch has had great luck finding news. Yeah. He's in the lab back to university. Excuse me, this is about Caitlin. Yeah, so mature student doesn't really sound all that great, does it?

Mature. Well, isn't it for you geriatric students? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll still go to a party.

Like, I'll still party with the other kids. No, don't go to a party. Am I allowed? No, I wonder if they're ever going to invite you. No, they're not. You won't hear about parties afterwards on Monday

You'll be like guys Don't tell Nana Caitlin there's a party She'll come and tell us Doug's story Maybe I could join their group You're already embarrassing Don't be drinking beers and you're like I just would really love a pain au noir

And the Spice Girls comes on and they're like Oh my god retro you're like yeah Have you would really love a pain in the ass. And the Spice Girls comes on and they're like, oh, my God, retro. You're like, yeah. Yeah. Have you guys heard of Billie Eilish? Could we take some calls about when you've been studying and the mature students? Maybe you were the mature student.

Yeah. I'm really interested to hear from their side of it, the mature student, because we were just, like, they're older, they've partied, they've done their partying, and they're actually there to study, whereas we were just like, wah. Party.

Yeah. Well, I don't know, maybe we could take some calls and make you feel better, Caitlin. Yes, please. And we're not being ageist at all. No, no, no. No, no, no. That's what we want to hear.

I want to hear what it's like being the mature student. It must be so frustrating. Or maybe you remember a mature student in your class. How did that go down? Was it good or bad? Let's take some stories. Were they cool like me? Or maybe they just were. Somebody messaged in saying they went

back to study nursing when they were 30, Caitlin. Yeah. You'll be thankful for some life experience. They call me Mama B because I used to give them all advice. You're going to be Mama C.

Mama C. No, no. Everyone's going to be like, ask Mama C for advice. And people will be like, she is a hot mess. Avoid advice. Take what she did.

Do the opposite. Wow. Mama C. Mama C. Give us a call. 0800 dials at M text and 9696. With your tales of mature students. Maybe you were one

or maybe you remember one. We're talking about Caitlin being a mature student going back to study next year. We're hearing from lots of people who have been mature students or have had mature students in their class and it's not all just too many questions at the end of the lecture. Alright yeah. Because that's kind of the stereotype isn't it? How many times did you questions at the end of the lecture. Or right, yeah.

Because that's kind of the stereotype, isn't it? How many times did you look at a mature student and you're like, on your own time, Michelle. Stay behind, Michelle. On your own time. We all want to leave. Keep us all here. Some of us are hungover.

It's Tuesday. But like, I mean, Caitlin and the, and we're not age shaming at all, but it would be so hard to go back, I mean, because you're not old, Caitlin, but if you were like in your 50s or 60s, that would be so hard to go back into a class where it's mostly younger people, right? 50s and 60s. Somebody messaged in when they studied anthropology and 2005 was their first year. They had an 80-year-old in their class. And they just got to a period.

Well, that's taking the piss because they're never going to be able to pay back their student loan. Well, they aren't. They were there. Human studies. They've studied it. They've lived it. But they just said, they talked to them about it one day

and they just said, oh, I'm just at that age where I just want to do things that interest me. Wow, that's cool. That's fair enough. Mackenzie, you had a mature student? So it was my first tertiary study,

and it was a mixture of, like, old and young. And there was this older lady, and I was like, oh, sweet, she'll be mature. She caused half the drama. I'm not even kidding. Like, she ran and cried for the teacher, just stared at you, and it was just like, come on, you're supposed to be a role model.

Oh, my God, I can imagine that would be Caitlin causing at least a little bit of drama. Yeah. Loves a cry out, Caitlin. Loves a cry. Hey. Honestly, it was just like, oh, God, I hope I'm not like that when I'm that age. So she was mature in numbers but not in personality. Definitely not.

Interesting. Mackenzie, thanks for your call. Vicky, did you know a mature student? I did know a mature student. So I'm a hairdressing tutor. Right. And the oldest student I've had is 64 years old. Oh, wow.

Yeah. And she was fantastic. My top student. She kept all the young ones in line and stuff, but she was amazing. What did she specialise in? A permanent blue rinse? No, she rocked bright, bright red hair. Wow. That's awesome.

Okay, so no reason for Caitlin to be worried then. Oh, hell no. God no. Just embrace it and go with it, I say. Good advice. I like that. That's a general feeling, actually. People saying there's, you know, it's beneficial for both ends of it. Sometimes it's nice having somebody the same age as your mum in the class. Was that a dig at Caitlin? No, no, no, no.

It was for older people than you. Thank you. But they said it's nice because they're older and they maybe have kids of their own. So they know how to support people. I have a niece, so I know how to. Okay, one thing you've got to be as the mature student is you've got to have a handbag with like tissues. I have that anyway, don't I, Megan?

When I go out, I've got the battery pack. I've got Panadol. I've got plasters. There you go. Somebody said that's what you need to be. Okay. And also, I'm sorry, but if I don't understand something, I'm going to ask a question.

On your own time, please, Karen. No. On your own time. I'm going to see who's the most hungover, fletched-looking person there, and I'm just going to play someone that does not want to stick around, does not have time, and I'm going to purposefully ask questions.

Oh, God. Yeah. Right. A lot of texts, though. Somebody said they studied with Karen Olsen. She used to do The Weather on One. I remember her, right. A lot of tech, though. Somebody said they studied with Karen Olsen. She used to do the weather on one. I remember her, yeah. She's in paramedic science at AU10.

Apparently, she's a stellar student. Get out of town. You could be in a car crash, and former weather presenter Karen Olsen will come and rescue you. CPR. You wake up and be like, oh, what's happening? She's like, cloudy, with a chance of rain later on, and a blustery westerly at times.

A brain haemorrhage with a chance of death. Yeah. But hang in for the weekend. Hang in there for the weekend. Five days of uninterrupted sun. If you have a brain haemorrhage are you screwed anyway? Or like, should I have said something like, a laceration with a chance of bleeding? Yeah.

That would have been nicer. That would have been better, yeah. We've all had a laceration with a chance of bleeding. Came in real hot with been nicer. That would have been better, yeah. We've all had a laceration with the chance of bleeding. It came in real hot with a bit of death. Just hemorrhaged everybody. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Joining us in studio to discuss a multitude of things, but Hamish and Andy's perfect holiday being the principal discussion topic this morning, Andy, good morning. That was so formal.

I love that. Thank you. It was very serious too. Thank you. It was very serious too. Thank you. It was really, it was like a cooking show. I'm going to show you this dish, but at the top, and the principal dish could be this. Principal dish.

Hey, thanks for having me. Excited. Well, obviously I'm coming on, have you been paying attention? Yes. Which I think would be the slow hand clap into the main course, which will be Hamish Yates' perfect holiday. The perfect holiday. Yep.

Now, tell us, what does this involve? Because you guys have kind of, if I can be totally honest, you've taken the piss with all these world trips. I'm guessing completely tax deductible. Yes. Business. Yep. Taking a film crew.

And we say that out of jealousy Yeah Pure jealousy The piss remains taken So this one Hamish and I Yeah we love doing travel shows Mainly because

Yeah you can get a lot of money To go and do them And Honestly And I still And we still make them With our mates from university The same guys that we made

Our first university TV show with. So sending all the guys away. Let's do it. And there's a few females in there. And, yeah, the same kind of group. So it's pretty exciting to pick another place and go and see it. We went back to the US for this one. The twist on this show, if people may have seen our Gap Year travels

or Caravan of Courage, we did one across New Zealand, which was awesome fun. Hamish and I organised alternate days for each other. So each morning we'd give each other a card or the next day the other person would give a card and find out what you were actually doing that day. And so 50% of the trip I had no idea what I was up

for and there was a natural kind of momentum and energy to that which is good fun. Is that legit? Because we could never do that for Fletch because he would just not. I like to be planned and know everything. And that's why you're pressing the buttons and these guys are spilling stuff on their side of the desk as they eat during the show.

You got it. We did. We had a peek and he knows. We did have to spray and wipe the desk before you came in. Yeah, no, I'm a bit more like you fletcher i like i like kind of knowing things i like a schedule and making good time for instance i'm going to if i ever have kids i'm going to be that dad uh we need to make good time no you can't stop do it in your undies we're going to make good time yeah there's nappies and everything behind the car

scene for a reason exactly change your eyes we're going to make good time. You can't let the milk tanker pass you. Oh, God, no. You'll never get back in front of that. So it was a tricky year, but, I mean, then the excitement of what might come up, and you'll see on, I suppose, with our other travel shows, we'd go and we'd see something together and kind of play in that space, but this allowed both of us to kind of preempt and and prepare a lot of different things um like we

i mean i found for day two i found the hottest chili in the world there's a guy called ed who lives in south carolina he crossbreeds chilies to make them as hot as possible he's got a hundred staff in conjunction with the university there. It's all super top secret. And we had to fly him into Vegas because I was tricking Hamish that he thought he was doing something different. He thought he was doing a boxing match. And he gets in the boxing ring and there's just a little chili there

with little boxing shorts on that I prepared. But this, I mean, to give you guys perspective, like police mace is a million Scoville units of heat. They measure heat in Scoville units. The previous hottest capsicum in the world or pepper in the world was 1.2 million Scoville units. This one, 3.28 million Scoville units of heat. So the challenge for Hayne was you still had to be a boxer.

Three rounds. You bite, you chew for 10 seconds at the start of the round. You can only have yogurt, milk at the end of each round. And if you want to bow out, drop to your knees and we'll count you out. So that was a fun day for me, not so much for him. Why? You guys are okay. Like you don't struggle for work.

Haym has just got like a family, his wife's doing very well. Why isn't he just like, no, not today. Well, we were sporting about that. We were sporting in the fact that we'll do whatever. And the blind, he really rated the blind side, like because he was crapping himself because he thought it was going to be in a boxing match. Yeah, yeah.

And I knew that there'll be a time where it comes back around. But it's not like the whole show is us trying to kill each other. There's certain adventures that we took on. I mean, day three, which again, you'll see, normally about five days per episode, it flies through. But we woke up and Haymes came in and gave me a card and said, I've got a day of revenge planned for you. I was i was like well you don't do this with your wife on your holidays do you sit down and um and we were traveling through there on a caravan trip that

we filmed 10 years ago and in a paris texas this small high school high school football town we're giving this guy tackling practice and he tackled me with his helmet and i didn't have one on and put my bottom teeth through my top lip and i got sewn up by the vet on the side of the road. And the vet was only there because he was bringing the pig down, which was the team mascot. Anyway, Haynes is like, I've used a private investigator for three months. I know where this guy lives. Let's go and enact revenge. And I was like, well, what did you plan we're doing? It's like, no, it's your revenge. you know. And, you know, in Game of Thrones, they don't say that. Here's how you play revenge.

You just pick the target and then off you go and you do it yourself. So we spent a day plotting to take this guy down. We had the old coach meeting him in a cafe. So we knew he was going to be at this cafe at this certain time. And then we had to drive three hours to get there. So on the way down, we're trying to work out what we'll come up with. It was a fun day. So after you kill him...

It's just out of that state as quick as possible. Yeah, exactly. Hamish brought along a taser as a joke, right? And I thought it was a prop taser and it wasn't because you can just buy tasers at the supermarket. So I was like, no, laughing, okay, we're not going to taser him. And he hit the button and realised it was an actual taser. And the part that we've actually edited out is me going,

what the F have you recorded real tasers? Lucky you weren't like putting it on yourself. I'll do it here. I'm dying. I'm dying. Right, so there's three episodes? Three episodes. They're 90-minute episodes, yeah.

So we went for three weeks, so it was like, you know, kind of five, six days or five, six activities per day. Some activities went overnight, which, you know, we went looking for Bigfoot. Hamish found a guy that was convinced that he knows exactly where Bigfoot is and that was a regretful 24 hours. I'm imagining you didn't find him. Spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert, Hamish. Andy did not discover the Lothal. Well, you can watch it tonight, TVNZ 2 at 8.30. After, have you been paying attention? Yeah. With yourself, Warren Smith? Yeah, and Andy's going to be on the show tonight. All right.

Yes, yes. I'll yield. I know it's your show. You just give me a wink when I'm allowed to speak. I've been briefed by producers as to what you like. Yeah, good, good. I'm glad you've been told. Diva.

I will let you have two biscuits and a selection of my scroggin'. Thank you. That's the kind of guy I am to the guests. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is an app that we need in New Zealand. It is now in Australia and it was in the US. So it started in the US and it was massive. So they're going to launch it in Australia

and I don't see why it wouldn't work there either. Right. It's called Swimpley. Swimpley. I guess that's how you say it. Like simply. Yeah. Swimpley.

Okay. So basically it's where like an Airbnb you can rent out like a house. You can now pay for someone's pool by the hour. Oh my god and some of that's amazing. Yeah. So if you're not there, you could be there right?

Also like imagine if you like hide out your pool on this app and then like a bunch of people came over and partied in your pool in your backyard and broke the no glass in the pool rule. Yeah, that's the thing, I guess. You don't know what state, but then you can give them a bad rating, right? And they never get to go in there again. Well, yeah, exactly.

So it'd be like Uber or Airbnb. They launched this after they found that only people who had pools only use them, excuse me, 15% of the time. So they said it's not only to, would you say democratise the pool? They said they want to democratise the pool experience. It is like if you've got neighbours or something with a pool and then they go away for a couple of weeks. What a waste, eh?

Yeah. You could just be swimming in that pool. I know. So yeah, they also said it can help. And ruining the chemical balance. Oh, bloody 1% are over here with a pool. What are your thoughts on this? I would not rent out my pool.

Nair, nair, nair. Because of the pH balance. You want it perfect for when you get home. I just don't know. I don't want strangers in my pool. It's not only the pool as well. It's like essentially your whole backyard. Yeah, what if they want a towel?

You'd have to BYO towel, wouldn't you? I know, but people always forget towels. Yeah, but they just don't. They walk through your house on wet feet. No, they're not coming in the house. No, they're not coming around full stop. No, they're not coming full stop. Yeah, but the person who started this app says he has his own pool

on the platform and it now pays for 25% of the mortgage of his house. Okay, now you've got me interested. A quarter of his mortgage. Must be a small mortgage. Or a big pool. So does it say how much? Many will cost less than $100 an hour. Oh, that's lots.

$100 an hour? Just Google. But then you're not really going there by yourself, are you? No, so I suppose you went with a whole lot of friends, yeah. But an hour? Oh, that's lots. A hundred dollars an hour? Just Google. But then you're not really going there by yourself, are you? No, so I suppose you went with a whole lot of friends, yeah. But an hour? The company offers access to pools in 20 states across the US, many of which cost less than $100 an hour to rent. That'd be some bougie pools though, eh?

Yeah, there would be. You're not going to get $100 an hour for your para. So as an example, this site Insider searched the website to see what pools are around New York area. Pools in New York? Yeah. So they searched between 4 and 8 p.m. The website provided 35 results,

many of which cost between $50 and $75 per hour. And then there were also some that provided additional perks like hot tubs, barbecue grills and outdoor TVs. And they were at the bougie end, 200 bucks an hour. Right. Okay. But if you had like a bunch of mates and you wanted to go for a couple of hours. Yep.

And it was 10 bucks or 15 each. And there was a barbecue and a spa and a pool. That'd be pretty cool. Do adults without pools fall for the old don't we in there because there's a chemical that'll make it go orange situation? Oh, they might do, yeah. You can say that. Good. Yeah, because that's the other thing.

Then you've got other people's skin flakes in your pool and other people's weeds. Here. Yeah, but when you invite people over to your pool, you're going to have other people's skin flakes. It's never just going to be you. But it's different, like, if I invited you to my... Well, so you swim at public pools.

Well, yeah, I know. You're swimming in the bloodyflakes of skin flakes. Everybody, what a mix. Yeah, I know. That's true. It is pretty manky, isn't it? The pick and mix of skin flakes. Yeah.

Which, if you're interested, the PLU is 3754. For skin flakes. Don't you mislabel those. We'll know. Check out. Thank you very much. It's still a good idea for an app. I mean, surely it's a matter of time,

only a matter of time before it comes here. Yeah. It's in Australia. We'll get it. Do you remember when you rented that place and it had a pool? Yeah. Princess Diana had swum in that pool.

Yeah. That was good. Yes. Well, that's what they said. No, it was... What? Yeah, I don't remember. I don't think you meant to say that. No. I don't think you were meant to say that.

No. I don't think the Princess Di thing was a bit secret. Yeah. Don't say that. We don't say that. I've told everybody. I've actually made it. You've been telling everybody.

I'm just putting the finishing touches on a documentary, mate. It's coming on Netflix and TVNZ On Demand. But you actually swim in that pool. Mm-hmm. Yeah, actually swam in that pool. Yeah. Apparently so. This is awkward. I like to think there was still some skin flakes. Megan's giving Vaughn a look like you're in trouble when I play the song.

I'm going to play the song and then leave the mics on so you can hear Megan tell Vaughn off. Set M, Fact of the Day is next. Turn the mics on off. No, if you're going to say something to Bourne, you can say it in front of everybody. We'll do this to you next time.

You need to tell our Bourne. That'll be after Fact of the Day. What? Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. day day day day oh you had to go it was actually sounding beautiful until you did that. It sounds like a recorder. It sounds like kids learning to use a recorder. You look like Post Malone when you do this. Stop.

Oh, my dog. How many listeners did you just lose? I can hear them. We're going dogs. My jaw has to be fully extended to do that noise. To do that. Today's Fact of the Day comes from a podcast called 20,000 Hertz. Okay.

This is a podcast that tells the stories behind the world's most recognisable and interesting sounds. Oh, that's why you were being silly. Not, well, I guess maybe not on purpose, but maybe just maybe just, it just happened. Yeah. But this podcast had a very interesting episode, a little mini episode

about music under the sea was what it was called. Okay. And the noises that various animals make from under the sea. So I didn't know this, but today's fact of the day is crabs, shrimp, and even starfish make noise. I know. You better have some.

Yeah, I do. The problem is I couldn't pause this podcast exactly where I wanted. Oh, for crying out loud. You literally knew this was happening last night. Megan told me off before about the Princess Diana swimming pool, and now Princess Diana herself is telling me off about not being able to sort out the audio. People are messaging and they want to know about the Princess Diana swimming pool, Megan.

Can you effing stop? Nobody's messaged and asking that actually. I'm just cheating. No one cares. You were just stoking the fire. It's just a pool. So do you want me to find this on the fly? Even just the ball princess Diana was in there.

Do you want me to find this on the fly or should I go to Q where no one can hear what's in my headphones apart from me? On the fly. I'm in a pretty good spot. And then we'll leave the microphones on at the end of this and hear Bleach Tale worn off. It's just so unprofessional. Do it on the fly.

Anything else. And they make a lot of noise. Shrimp. Pretty good. Crabs. Jellyfish. Boring. Even starfish make sound.

Oh, my God. That's everything I dreamed it would be. When you have a lot of shrimp together. Wow. They sound like baking. That's heaps of prawns are clapping and snapping. a lot of shrimp together. Wow, the... They sound like baking in a pan. That's heaps of prawns that are clapping and snapping.

The snapping of their claws is a manner of communicating. How nice is this guy's voice, by the way? Could you not be a bit more like this guy? I can't. You literally...

You literally followed that guy with, how nice is this guy's voice? How nice is this guy's voice? I don't know what else he's got here. A lot of manner of drawing prey toward one another. Just podcast.

We should just do a radio show where we just play other people's podcasts. Everyone's got a podcast. Describe some of the sounds of whales as song. Oh, that's nice. We're all familiar with that noise. Okay, lovely. Oh, you can't go back to the surface. I can, I can take a shot, Megan.

One of them sounded like the predator. Well, that's why. Do you remember we talked to the starfish, can you? I can, I can take a shot, Megan. One of them sounded like the Predator. Well, that's why, do you remember we talked to the guy who provided the voice for the Predator? He was also the voice of Optimus Prime. That's right. And he told us how he came up with it was when they gave him a sneak peek of what the Predator was going to look like under his mask in the movie.

And he said it looks like a crab. So he researched what crabs sound like and then based it off crabs. But that starfish noise, how good is that? That's beautiful. Because if you're a Pokemon watcher, Misty, who ran the water gym, she had star you and star me. What?

Star you and star me. Right up your alley. Yeah. They made noises similar to that. And I was always like, these Pokemon people are loco. Animals that don't make noises, they're just inventing noises. You'll hear invertebrates more than just about anything else. Wait, we're going back to the starfish.

And they make a lot of noise. Here we go. This will get through. Shrimp. Crabs. Jellyfish. It's just them moving. Even starfish make sound.

Oh, that's so good. That's really good. That's so good. Think about that when you're pulling a starfish out of the water next time. Under there, it's going to be going. Screaming. Put me down. Put me down. Don't frisbee me.

I'm not your plaything. Or a ninja star. Born to be thrown at your brother. People do that. It's horrible. ninja star. Born to be thrown at your brother. People do that. It's horrible. Ninja star. Ninja attack. And it's over.

I am so far away from my rock. I have to get back there. So today's fact of the day is you've've won her over after that Princess Di comment. Oh, shit. Well, you had a reminder. I'm backing everybody's bad boys. Wrap up your thing. Today's fact of the day is starfish make noise.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Kim Kardashian shared something on her story that we've decided to test out I don't know why, this is groundbreaking No it's not slim tea She's not being naked on her Instagram anymore. It's a chocolate hack. It is a chocolate hack. For eating M&Ms.

If you put them in the microwave for 30 seconds, so the goal, look at that, is to be warm. Oh, gross. And melty on the inside. Ooh, but crunchy on the inside. And crunchy on the outside. Shut your mouth. This is my secret of life, you guys.

Watch your stories back and realise you sound disgusting. So satisfying in your mouth. Please try someone. It's like you're trying to have a conversation. I just put my finger through one like she did. Because you know why M&M's are invented, right? Why? World War II, the soldiers wanted candy, but chocolate was too hot.

Chocolate was melting. And so they candy coated it so it would last longer. So they could eat it. Wow. Yeah. Obviously not worried. Did you just make that up? No, no, no, that's true.

That's the origins of candy coated chocolate M&M's. So, Producer Caitlin, how long did you put these in the microwave for? 30 seconds. And then she says that you can put your finger on them and they should just smush. No, no. No. No, no, no. Do you use a cup of water?

I want it in my mouth before it smushes. No, was I supposed to? Well, no, I just think sometimes you put some water in it. You think you have a wheat sack. No, that happens with a wheat bag. Also, Megan, don't eat it because that microwave out in the, it's disgusting. Why do you use that again? Why do you use that one?

I use it for porridge every day. Yeah, that's disgusting. Stuff will drip in. Sniff them. I was like, why do they smell like that? Sniff them. It smells like leftover food. No, it doesn't.

It smells like chocolate. Every day there's somebody who heats up the largest bowl of a stew. They eat a meat stew every day. Sniff them. Nah. No, they do. They stew. They eat a meat stew every day. Sniff them. Nah. No, they do. They do. They do.

They smell like M&M's. Are you going to try a few? No, Vaughan, you have to squish it first. I don't want to squish it first, Megan. How is that? So are they... It's just like you've left them in your car. So not a fan.

If you don't refrigerate your M&M's And you've ever eaten some out of the pantry on a summer's day You've already done this Right You see I like to leave mine in the fridge Before I eat my chocolate Me too But this has happened

Why are you leaving your chocolate in the fridge? It'd be hard as No because I like hard chocolate We've talked about this We've talked about this So this is absolutely wasted on the both of you then Now just while we're on chocolate and food, it's happened today.

You might have seen news organisations sharing this news. It's out today. Maybe. I don't know. I've got one. They've sent it in. What? Well, have news organisations shared it or not?

You're citing it. He's got the press release, but all he did was like, just grab the press release. It'll be a news story soon enough. That's how they write news stories. They get a press release and then they just... If they're not out, they're coming. Okay, beginning late this week.

So there you go. I've read the press release. Twirl has a caramilk inner now. Caramilk twirl. Are you going to eat it? There I was. No, you have to do a review now. You've got three.

There I was, worried that type 2 diabetes was going to disappear. No need for concern. Let the gangrenous amputations continue. Oh my God, that's pretty amazing. I'm doing Kim Kardashian and talking and eating. Oh wow. Is it? It's the best chocolate, eh?

Oh my god Can we have one? Of the bars? You won't eat it I'm not wasting it on you Just wanted to see Is there any way You could work this into

Off the top of your head Off the top Any way you could work this Into a cafe recipe Because you do like Oh any cafe That's sharing Caramel thing on Facebook

It's going nuts. Yeah. Just thinking you've done it before. Well, that's just caramel and normal chocolate, right? So, yeah, okay. That's pretty easy. We can do that. We'll work it in somewhere there. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Megan has... I don't know why

we're talking about this. I don't know why we're talking about this. Well, you've raised it with us and... Megan said it's new und about this. I don't know why we're talking about this. Well, you've raised it with us. Me and you said it's new undies day. I said I was going to go treat myself and get some new undies. Yeah.

So 27th of November, this is how she celebrates. It's treat yourself. So this is a thing you do when you just need a little pick me up. Yeah, you get new undies. Are you down or something?

Nah. You're all good. You just need new undies. No, do you know what I think it is? It's because I've been doing Christmas shopping. I've been buying everyone else things. I'm like, I need a treat. So I'm going to get myself new undies.

And then you do the rotation. You get rid of the worst ones and put the new ones in the rotation. No, you only get rid of the worst ones when they've got holes in them. So I've got a few at the moment with holes in them. Yeah, I've got a couple with holes in them. Yeah, right. Okay. To be fair.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, do you not treat yourself with new undies? No, but I just recently got new undies, but I do that thing where I save up and then I, well, all at once buy all new pairs. That's not like you at all to buy and just... Yeah, and then I have to do wash. Like, I reckon right now I'd have two weeks worth of undies.

What? Wow, that's something to iron for. I know, I know. So I don't, if I got caught short, I don't need to do washing. You live a bachelor lifestyle. Like, that's something. I don't know if you're aware, but you could also buy two weeks' worth of undies. That just seems so excessive.

How long could you go for undies-wise? You know, you have the pretty undies that you wear. You're safe. You're married. You don't need to wear pretty undies. You need to wear pretty undies. I have pretty undies that I wouldn't wear to work because they're not exactly comfortable. So you have

your like everyday comfy rotation. Yeah. I'd say maybe nine. You go nine days. Yeah. So like enough to get you through when you need to do washing. Yeah. And then yeah. Right. Do it through. But then the pretty undies, yeah, you keep those

aside. I've got... Do you have pretty undies? I've got like favourite undies that are in nicer condition. Yeah. They're what I would class as my pretty undies. Your good undies. Yeah. But I've got some, I've got my exit mould undies.

Those are the undies... My exit mould undies too. Those are the undies I put on... My exit mould active wear. Those are the undies I put on when I've got to exit mould the ceiling in the bathroom. I would normally nude wash my shower, but no, you can't. You've got to cover up your privacy. Exit mould will burn through anything.

You don't exit mould in your undies, do you? Yeah. No, I wear full clothes. No, it's nuts because it's a high part of the ceiling. It's a stupid pitched roof in the bathroom, meaning you can't have an extractor fit. It's nuts because it's a high part of the ceiling. It's a stupid pitched roof in the bathroom, meaning you can't have an extractor fit. It's ridiculous. So I've got to get on a ladder to get to the high part.

So you imagine me on a ladder in my undies, exit mold, gas mask, goggles. I don't use gas mask or goggles on an exit mold. I just roll the dice. I just put the window and put the fan on. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, put the fan on. Windows open, doors open. Yeah, right.

Sometimes I'll even put like an oscillating fan at the door to keep air movement. Right. Oh, no, you don't exit mode without having good airflow. Do yourself a mischief. And that's even when I've got the gas mask on. So what are you getting today? What are you treating yourself with? Have you decided?

I'm going to Farmers because they have a sale. She's put me on this. Me too. I'm off Farmers on the way home. This is not Hashtag Spawn. Don't go there until I've gone there. No one's allowed to go to that sale until after 12. You get one pair of undies that you're like, yeah, this is these are good. These

are... How much are you spending? They're only $10 a pair at the moment. No, there's my everyday rotation. Don't undie shame me. I'm not undie shaming you. Stick to the undies you know, too. Yeah, that's the thing. My specific undies are on special.

I'm a jockeys guy. We were away and Sade was like, this Bond store's having a sale. So we went in and I said to the lady, I don't know because I don't have Bonds and I'm not allowed to try them on, am I? Well, that's what they say. And she said no. And so I didn't. But then I bought like a three pack.

None of them. Not right for me. You try them on over your existing undies. Didn't think about it. Why weren't they right? They're right up. They're not for a man of my shape. Are you saying your balls are too big?

No. Your legs are too skinny. No, because the top half of my legs isn't skinny, it's the bottom half that's the skinny part of the legs. It feels like, you just put them on and you take a few steps and they're like, well, I'm going to the gooch, where are you going? To the other leg.

And the other leg's like, I was thinking of hitting the gooch as well. Maybe a little bit of the bum crack. And the other leg's like, well was thinking of hitting the Gooch as well. Maybe a little bit of the bum crack. And the other leg's like, well, if you're going to the bum crack, I'll go to the bum crack. And then before you know it, you're picking your undies out of your butt all day. You're constantly, yeah. They're not for me. I'm not saying they're bad undies.

They're just not for me. Stick to what you know. Right. They had a sticker on them that said, like, the world's most comfortable undies. Not for me. Not for you. Okay.

Not for me. Maybe they're for men that fill it out a bit more. Did you get the right size? Yeah. Well, me. Not for you. Okay. Not for me. Maybe they're for men that fill it out a bit more. Did you get the right size? Yeah, well, the same size as usual. I wasn't okay.

I'm not going to an extra large. I'm not taking that. Hello to the ego. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's

Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM's free and Clinton listen too subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts ZM