ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - November 28 2019

Episode Date: November 27, 2019

Megan is an undie influencer, Am I A Bad Person and what happened at your office party?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yes, thank you to our white North Shore resident newsreader for that 49 yacht news. That's what I was thinking too. Excuse me? All of you, I was like, what's a 49? Yeah. I don't know what's a 49? Yeah. I don't know.

She doesn't know. You don't know. Oh, no. You are the worst white North Shore girl ever. Excuse me? You've got to know who your 49s are. Yeah, generalise the females over there. I'm just doing my job, Vaughan.

I'm just giving the people the news. You know what they say about Shore girls. Look, she was pretty light on the sports news this morning, I'll be honest. But Alex Maloney and Molly Meech, great job. Do you know Molly Meech? Nah, but I think Alex Maloney went to my school. Yeah, like everybody went to your school though. Hang on, I'll do some research.

Your school was like 10,000 people at your school, yeah. Are you going to finish the sentence about shore girls? Shore girls sure do know about yachts. Yeah, thank you. That's exactly what you were going to say. She did. She did.

Basically friends. Yeah, sure. You didn't even know if she went to your school or not. I know she's on a 49er. But does it hurt? I beg your pardon? Fucking noise.

Yeah, does it hurt though when you see ex-like school what do you call them? Friends doing well? Fucking noise. Yeah, does it hurt though when you see ex-school, what do you call them, friends doing well? What do you call people that you hang out with by choice again? School. People. No, but like ex-pupils or ex- Alumni.

Alumni, that was the word I was looking for. I was thinking like colleagues. You're not really colleagues. As you were saying, what's the word? And my head is going alumni, alumni. I wasn't going to give it to you. Oh, thanks, yeah. But does that hurt?

You'd have one at your school just on sheer size alone would have one of those impressive boards of like ex-students' achievements. Yeah, we had, is it Terence Berenzo or something? I'm not great with sports. Sorry. A runner. Bisoni. Yeah, hang on. Terenzo or something. I'm not great with sports. Sorry. A runner. Buzzer Bizzoni. Yeah, hang on.

Terenzo Bizzoni. Terenzo Bizzoni. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a really nice guy. Who is that your most famous? Terrence Bizzoni. Terrence Bizzoni. Hey.

Good night for you. Good night for you. Spaghetti and what are your Diner and some bisonis Who's the most famous Ex-school people From your school Actors

I thought it was Lucy Lawless But I just googled and I don't think she actually did go to Rangy So I don't know why I think that Hang on Don't think she went to Rangy Okay alright Should I just go home? No, because then the roasting could dangerously turn on one of us.

Yeah, I'm enjoying it being you. Sorry, sorry, how are you? Oh, okay, here we go. Dino Gorman. Hiya. Lisa Chappell from McLeod's Daughters. Oh, so, yeah, actors. She went there.

Well, I literally Googled actors that went to Ringe. Oh, so, yeah, actors. She went there. Well, I literally Googled actors that went to Rangitoto College. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news stories that I've found. Headlines. Vaughn and Megan have to pick one only

of the following three. Headline one, Robot One, Dog Nil. Headline two, Police Call to Supermarket Brawl. And headline three, Burglars Meet 82-Year-Old Powerlifter. Oof. So they got a donk, didn't they? They got a donk. Good.

Wow, I know how bad was the donk. 82-Year-Old Powerlifter. Mm. Far out. I like story number one. 82 year old power lifter power out I like story number one what was that again? Robot 1 Dog Nell

oh yeah yeah what's a dog nill? dog nill it's a school of one Robot 1 Dog Nell I thought a robot had won a dog nill

yep a dog nill I was wondering what a dog nill was yeah or the supermarket I just love robot stories. Okay. You can almost guarantee if it's a robot story,

I probably want to hear about it. I like the dog aspect and you like the robot. It's got something for everybody. All right. Well, we go now to Missouri where police were called to a house where there was a disturbance. People screaming and a dog yelping. Police got there and found a Roomba

had attached itself to a dog. Had it sucked up its tail? A small dog. Yeah, it was a Shih Tzu. A Shih Tzu Max. Are they quite small? They're the little white

poofy looking ones. Right. So I don't know if it was sleeping or something on the floor and the Roomba kind of came up to it and just sucked up the dog, the Shih Tzu, while it was napping. So police arrived. That's when officers could hear the dog yelping and a woman screaming, a newborn baby crying.

The officers went inside the house. They had to cut the fur off the dog's tail to free it from the Roomba's grip. Good ad for the Roomba. Could they not turn the Roomba off? I think they did. I don't know. I think the hair was probably tangled in the,

however the Roomba works. The dog was shaken but not injured. Police say the family was definitely thankful that the officers put an end to the pretty hectic start to their day. Good Lord. My vacuum cleaner sucked up my dog. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's something you've got to think about

if you've got an automatic vacuum cleaner and a dog or a cat because normally you'd leave it on when you go to work. No, because people talk about when a dog or a cat because normally you'd leave it on when you go to work. No, because people talk about when a dog does a turd and it just hits it and just takes it everywhere. Yeah, right. It just spreads it out

everywhere for... You to find later. So Instagram have started a big crackdown on pornographic content on their app. Because they will need to protect young people, the content, which makes sense. But the adult entertainers that are on Instagram are not happy about it. Now they have had their Instagrams deleted.

And I actually don't think, now that I've read it, I don't think it's because there's any nips or anything on there. Because you're not allowed to put up naked photos, so they don't do that. No, that would just be taken down. So their Instagrams are being deleted and they don't look any different really to anyone else, any other influencer or actor or anything on social media.

There might be, what, bikini shots, but that's it. But everyone's got bikini shots. Everybody's got, I mean, you've got, your bikini shots haven't been taken down, have they? They wouldn't, do you? No. Where's the equal rights in this? It's Instagram's bread and butter.

It's the bread and butts. Literally. So yeah, there's a list of 1,000 adult performers who claim their accounts were deleted purely just because... There's 1,000 porn stars? Well, there's probably going to be more than that. Those are just the ones that accounts have got deleted. Wow.

Now what are Vaughn's doing when this break's finished? Going through the list. You know how it is the IMDB top 250 movies you might watch before you die? Like that. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah,

they just got their accounts deleted. Not on rural broadband though. I'm not going to be able to, I might have to come over to your place for it. Sure. Absolutely.

Use your ultra fast fibre. Absolutely. Fantastic. Maybe we can do it together. No, absolutely not. Okay. I invite,

best to ask the host. Yeah, yeah. You want to hang around for to ask the host. Yeah, yeah. You want to hang around for this? Go on. Well, yeah. You're done. No, they didn't show any nudity or sex. Right.

So, let me get this right. Porn stars, no. White supremacists, still okay. Yes. Right, okay. Hatred and violence. Wild political radicals. Yes. Yes. Nips. okay. Yes. Right, okay, yeah. Hatred and violence. Wild political radicals. Yes.

Yes. Nips. Yeah. Absolutely not. Religious nut bars. Yes. Yes. People who have sex for the enjoyment of others.

No. No. Gotcha. Right, gotcha. Are we going to have to be careful if I, like, say I went on a Bali holiday and I got my bum out? Go on. Or am I going to have to be careful now? That would probably be deleted, wouldn't it? Like say I went on a Bali holiday and I got my bum out. Go on. Well, am I going to have to be careful now?

That would probably be deleted, wouldn't it? Your bums. Oh, you have bums on Instagram? No, because some people put their bums on Instagram. I've seen bums on Instagram. Yeah, no, maybe your bums are fine. But just think twice about that shot. Depends how provocative the butt is, I suppose. Vaughn's keen, but I'm not so much.

Right, okay. You know, like if it was a more of a, you put up a post and it was your butt and you were like, is this normal? Maybe just send it to Vaughn personally. I can't see back there, is this a hemorrhoid? But obviously you can see. Hashtag barley bliss.

Hashtag sat on cold, wet concrete. Was that the... When you were a kid, was that the... Just cold concrete. Cold concrete was the wives' tale gives you hemorrhoids, doesn't it? Hemorrhoids.

Oh, you remember that? Yeah. I remember as a seven-year-old, a kid said to the principal, you can't make us sit on the tennis court, we'll all get hemorrhoids. What a thing for a seven-year-old to throw at a primary school principal. You can't do this to us.

We'll have sore buttholes when we're adults. I can't. I'm going to have to Google that if that wives' sales got any truth. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There's a shortage. Bread is the shortage. Bread is the shortage. Bread? You might be thinking that's weird because that doesn't seem like something affected by adverse weather conditions.

No. Because whenever there's a shortage, it's like a tropical cyclone tore through Bananaville. Yeah. In northern Queensland. Yeah. Bananas are a constant fortune or there was an unseasonable frost. Do you remember ages ago there was an unseasonable frost. Do you remember ages ago there was that really soggy winter and all the potatoes?

That's right. We had a potato shortage. Yeah, because they were rotting in the ground, weren't they? It was too wet for the teeters. So it's bread and it's not due to unseasonable weather. It's because the workers at a massive bread factory are striking for better work conditions. Now, this is just North Island?

Is it just Upper North Island? Upper North, yeah. It's an Auckland-based factory that are striking for better work conditions, pay, etc. Yeah, good on them. But, you know, it really became a problem when a mum, this is... When a mum?

A Herald reader was forced to resort to buns for her kids' lunches after finding the Hobsonville Countdown supermarket shelves all but bare for loaves of bread on Tuesday evening. The horror. The horror of having to have a bun rather than a sandwich. Are you telling me there was no loaves of bread?

No loaves of bread. No, there's photos of a supermarket. She's pretty empty. Yeah, in the aisle, just completely empty. Yeah. But there was like... Good Lord, buns. I was always stoked when, like, there was no bread.

Because, yeah, you got a bun and then you could pretend you were having a hamburger for lunch, even though it wasn't. Yeah. Or you might get, like, a fancy loaf because a fancy loaf is better than no loaf. But this is putting the Bunnings sausage sizzle at risk this weekend. Well, yes, that's correct. Yeah, the $1 loaves, they don't want some of the loaves affected by the looks of things. Right.

As well as most of your other loaves. What about those real expensive $10 loaves of paleo seed breads? That you could, like, drop on the ground and break your toe. That's going to be a price changer at the Bunnings sausage sizzle. Would that even fold up to hug the sausage? Around a sausage? I don't know, actually. I feel like you'd fold it and then it'd split at the bottom.

And that bread's so snobby, it's not going to go around a cheap bit of meat like that. No, it's not, no. Like, that's a princess piece of bread and you're trying to get it to go with the bogan sausage. Like, it's not. It's competing for the hero, you know? No, sometimes opposites attract.

But the sausage is the hero. You can't have the bread competing for all the flavour and stuff. That's why it's so white. The onion is the best supporting actor. Yeah. Yeah, right. If the sausage has got an onion and mustard, because it's an unexpected condiment offer.

Right. But tomato sauce, of course, you're always expecting it to be there. Yep. Yeah. So it just has to be there, like the goofy sidekick. All right, well, Upper North Island, yeah, bread. Brace yourselves. Brace yourselves.

Hopefully that gets sorted out soon. Or if you see a loaf, snap it up, chuck it in the freezer. We're trying to bust out and blow the dust off the old bread maker. You'd put all the ingredients in and then that thing would go, warm, warm, warm, warm, and then stir it. Yeah, just like it. And then it'd go, click, beep. And it would just make a bunch of weird noises

and then you'd wake up with the smell of fresh bread. And you'd use it twice. And your bread would have a massive hole in the bottom of it. From where it would have been pumped by that big stirrer. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. A new study from Bath University has found that men become increasingly stressed if their wives earn more than 40% of the household income. What?

Are you serious? So if a woman was earning... More than their husband. Well, not even as much, but nearly as much. Yeah. They wouldn't like that. Can you believe that? Why would they become stressed?

Because you're getting more money. Because the social norm is that men should be... For the guys to bring home the bacon. Yeah, the guys should bring home the bacon. The guys should be the... Who cares who's bringing the bacon home? As long as it's bacon. Yeah, yum, delicious bacon.

All money. Yeah. But bacon's preferable. Hey, I'm not disagreeing. I'm just reading out the study. In 2019. So that stress peaks if husbands find themselves economically dependent on their partners.

Wow. And men become increasingly stressed out as their wives merely approach economic parity with them. So just getting close to being equal. And obviously, you know obviously the people doing this study are saying that's a very dangerous thing for men's health. And like you say, who cares? You're in a relationship.

That's some fragile male ego there. Yeah. Like who cares if your wife's earning lots of money? Who cares where it's coming from? Bring all the monies in. If it's not through people being hurt or illegal, who cares who's earning the money and how it's getting there? Because surely if either one of you got a pay rise,

you'd be like, whoop, whoop. Pay rise. Like, that's for us. Yeah, yeah. Partnership. Are these people having a joint bank account? It doesn't go on to say that. Are these dudes worried that all they had that their wife valued

was financial remuneration. Like, oh, now that she earns money, she'll be out of here. She'll be off. She'll skedaddle. It was quite a comprehensive study. Over 15 years, it looked at 6,000 heterosexual couples. Yeah. Not the gay couples because they're always cashed up because no kids.

So they're always happy. Are they though? Who knows? Looked at this over 15 years and yes, the study found that marriages where stress surpassed the 40% income level

led to increased rates of cheating and divorce. Wow. Okay. My wife earns as much money as me now. I'm going to cheat on the bitch That'll teach her

That's nuts Isn't that crazy? That's like We gotta try and understand that Rather than ridicule it And then try and like Change it I guess Because that's

You know like Yeah Men obviously are sensitive to that Maybe it's the patriarchy affecting them over a long period of time. But what about Mr. Toyboy? He doesn't care at all. He's like, we're bringing the money. I couldn't even imagine my dad,

that would have never bothered my parents. Nah. Like my parents' generation. But there are some people. I can only speak for my parents. They just liked money. I don't know about my dad, actually. Because he was like an old school provider.

He always worked and mum looked after the kids and did the household chores and that kind of thing. So you think if your mum had gone out and got a job and done well and got promoted and started making more money than him, he would not have liked it? Well, no, I kind of get it. It's not that he wouldn't like it.

It's just maybe guys feel a bit like they don't need them anymore. Right. You know, like. Unwanted. They always feel like they're provided. I tell you what, there was no worry of that for your dude because he had something. He had something that your mum liked.

She liked it a lot. Oh, my God. That's my parents.'re going to get a message from Ray Ray in a minute Megan's mum will be messaging you, Bourne He had something Money couldn't buy, baby From the ZM think tank This is the top six.

Hello there. Apparently Aucklanders are the worst in the country for not getting out of the way for emergency vehicles. There's a video during the rounds from the viewpoint of an emergency vehicle. And people aren't getting out of the way. Now, some of the times people can't get out of the way because to get out of the way, someone's got to make room for you to get out of that lane and into another lane. Oh, yeah.

So that's problematic. More multi-lane roads than anywhere else in the country. Old Auckland and all the people on the roads. Sometimes you panic, though, when you see the lights. You're just like, where do I go? Yeah. And then are they coming for me or do they need to get past? True, true.

So the top six ways, the top six. So the top six ways to get Aucklanders to move for emergency vehicles. Number six on the list, give ambulances giant ploughs on the front. Or like snow ploughs. Snow ploughs. Just plough them out of the way. Or they'll move. Or they'll get Mad Maxed into the median barrier. Yeah.

And flip over. There'd be some cool footage. Yeah, kind of defeat the purpose of an ambulance going to an accident if they're also creating them. Right. Well, they've got room. Put it up on the back. Just chuck them in the back and keep going.

Make ambulances more the size of school buses and have multiple stretches. Our number five on the list of the top six ways to get Aucklanders to move for emergency vehicles. One of those vehicle disabling EMT blasts that have been in like video games and movies for decades. You know, you shoot like a laser at a car and the car goes. Oh, yeah. Like an electromagnetic pulse that ruins the car and disables it.

Yes. And then slam, hit with the plow. Great. Okay. Out of the way because if they break down, they can't get out of the lane. So, again, handy to have a snow plough. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get Aucklanders to move for emergency vehicles.

What if ambulances had ramps up them, over them, and then down them? So they just literally drive into the cars and it just scoops the cars up and the car goes up and over them. Yeah, like one of those car transporters. Yeah. The trucks, but it's got the ramp down the

front. Yeah. Yeah, good idea. Not a bad idea, but if they're driving forward, the back wheels go on and they they're going to need to hit them at speed. Essential. Okay. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get Aucklanders out of the way for emergency vehicles. Tell Aucklanders they'll share their

Instagram profile on their social media if they pull over and let them pass. They'll be pulling over so fast. Yeah. Probably even too fast. It could get dangerous. Yeah. Oh yeah, okay, but make sure you like at me. Number two on the

list of the top six ways to get to Auckland is to move for emergency vehicles. Temporarily take over nearby radio frequencies. They do this in some places. Emergency vehicle approaching. Except it'll say from the classical artist Ludacris, move, bitch, get out the way, get out the way, bitch, get out the way. That's a good idea.

And if they're listening to Spotify, so that doesn't work because it's on frequencies. If they're listening to Spotify, um, snow pile, baby! Boom. Goddamn Spotify. We're trying to make a living over here. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get Aucklanders to move for emergency vehicles.

What if rather than getting Aucklanders to move, we rethought our emergency vehicles? Ambulances can use train tracks, like those little trucks you see scooting down train tracks every now and then. Oh, yeah, those are cute when you see those. Far less traffic there. And if there's no rails, no worries. It's got a helicopter blade on top.

Okay. And then if it needs to go in the water, it's a boat. If it needs to go under the water, it's a submarine. And then, you know, if it needs to dig underground, a subterranean mining vehicle. So I think maybe we just need to rethink our St. John's vehicles, to be totally honest. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's office Christmas party time or the season. A lot of places have already started theirs. Is the season to be jolly? When it gets closer to Christmas, the weekends kind of become... Chocker. A bit chocker, yeah. So a lot of workplaces start, you know, doing them now.

Some places, and I don't know if this has happened in New Zealand, but overseas, it's been reported that some workplaces are hiring sober chaperones in a bid to curb bad behaviour at office Christmas parties. So effectively, I guess what? Getting a couple of bouncers for your private party. So they're just going to wander around and be like, hey, Donna, like you've had a bit too much. Donna's had a couple of bottles of pinot at this stage. And then you help Donna into a taxi or something.

Yeah. And well, I'm assuming they get to Donna before she gets to that third bottle of wine. Right. I thought you meant to the CFO. That too. Before Donna. Donna's like I'm just, okay, no, fair call, I'm just going to the toilet. And then you don't

let her out of your sight because next time you turn around and she's got her pants down she's up on the photocopier. Yeah. And she's taking Xeroxes but also doing Weez on the photocopier. Oh, my God. I saw this girl in the toilet.

That's not the toilet, Donna. Everybody's being so mean. We all know a Donna. We all know a Donna. An out-of-control lunatic who then decides everybody's being so mean. How about those people? And that is not a Christmas special.

That's year-round. It is. Why is everybody being so mean? But I guess if this is a trend, and I guess office places, workplaces, don't want it coming back on them. Yeah. You know, if something bad happens. Oh, heck. So now they're... This day a trend. And I guess office places, workplaces don't want it coming back on them. Yeah. You know, if something bad happens.

Oh, heck. So now they're- This day and age. Yeah, hiring chaperones and I guess effectively bouncers. But I thought, could we take some calls this morning of like those stories? How bad did it get at a work party? Tell us why you need chaperones at your workplace. Like whether it was a work Christmas party or just a work social function,

how bad did it get? Maybe there was even a cover-up just to avoid stuff getting out. How bad did it get at your work Christmas? You're talking about a hush money. Everyone's like, okay, let's not let this get out. Otherwise, it's going to be bad for business. But yeah, maybe you had a doner at your work staff party, your Christmas party.

How bad did it get at your work party? 0800 DALS at M. Give us a call now or you can text. Christmas parties. Where the person who started work sometime during the year that's been a bit quiet has a doner. It's always the quiet ones. Some organisations, and this is a trend that started overseas,

I don't know if it's happening here in New Zealand, but they're employing chaperones. So keep an eye on the party and take care of donners. Babysitters slash bouncers. That will kick you out of the office Christmas party if it gets too much. So some text messages. A lady from management got so written off at our Christmas party,

she was dancing on tables Any kind of tables Pool tables Food tables Oh yeah You name it Then went on to dry hump The big boss

And when someone Tried to stop her Started screaming Stop thinking you're my mother You can't tell me what to do Donna Because it's going to be like We've all danced on a table

Yeah But dry humping On bosses Anonymous caller Good morning How bad did your Christmas party get? I was going to say it's going to be like we've all danced on a table. Dry humping on bosses. Anonymous caller. Good morning. How bad did your Christmas party get? Our Christmas party got so bad that it got cancelled for this year. Like, from last year.

You misbehaved so poorly. That's like at school where they cancelled the school ball. Yeah. Yeah. We got so wasted last year that we stole a gazebo from the party and took the party out to the front lawn of the office block

and continued to the wee hours of the morning. Wow, okay. And that was enough? They were like, not this year? Yeah, not this year. No Christmas party at all. It's pretty tame compared to some other text messages we've had. Yeah, just to stop. But then like... I feel like he scraped

the surface of what maybe went down at the gazebo and all the parties. Yeah. Yeah. All right, thanks for your call, Anonymous.

Somebody said there was a doner at our works Christmas party and she bit me. She wasn't happy when I suggested she stay away from the office Romeo.

Now, I don't know why the text that told her to stay away from the office Romeo. Jealous? Maybe jealousy know why the text that told her to stay away from the office Romeo. Jealous? Maybe jealousy or maybe to avoid her getting hurt. Yeah.

He's an office Romeo. This sounds juicy, this workplace. I know. So while being excited, Donna grabbed me and bit me on the neck. Someone who is so sweet and quiet turned into the American psycho after a few whines. Was that her way of flirting?

Maybe she's a bit excited. I'll give you a few wines. Was that her way of flirting? Maybe she's a bit excited. I'll give you a love bite. We went on a bike pub crawl for our Christmas party. The problem began when halfway through, a couple of guys decided every time we got on the bikes, they'd take their clothes off and they'd do the bike part naked and then put their undies back on at the pub. But obviously that's...

Yeah, well, there's a couple of illegal things here. The nudity. The drinking on bikes. Yeah. Sure. I've always wondered about the legality of the vineyards, when you cycle between the vineyards. Yeah, it's surely not legal.

Well, when you've had a few, two minutes. They need lime scooters to drive between. Again, that's not legal either, no. Lime scooters, booze, and gravelly paths. What could go wrong? Can't say what could go wrong. Foolishly, our work brought all of our Auckland staff together. 3,000 people.

Oh. Free for all booze. The ambulance got called. There was multiple reports of sex in the toilet. At one stage, there just became a part on the dance floor where you vomited. If you were going to vomit, you had to go and vomit at that part of the dance floor. What?

Wow, that is feral. I really want to know what that workplace is. That would be a big organisation too. They'd love that getting out. Somebody said, at our Christmas party, people started hearing chicken noises. What the hell's going on? Look around.

Donna is up on the table pretending to be a chicken, squawk and screeching and lays an egg and then throws the makeshift egg object across the room. It turns out this is her party trick and it comes out it functions. I want to see that. I. I want to see that. I kind of want to see that. Yeah. We had a Ricky. Now, Ricky might be the male equivalent of the daughter. Ricky got so drunk he proceeded to shit himself and pass out.

Ricky. His wife had to come and collect him. Yeah, so this is why we need chaperones. With new undies. Imagine if your wife had to pick you up from the Star Christmas party. Somebody said, our Donna drew in the Secret Santa where the CEO was dressed up as

Santa and you went up and you sat on his knee and you got your Secret Santa. She vomited on the Santa. On the Santa. Oh, come on. You're not getting a pay rise now, Donna. Our entire company has a blanket ban from a hotel chain after there was vomit found in the bedside drawers.

Well, I mean, in their defence at the time, that seems like a nice place to hide it away. And other hotel guests that night had refused to pay for their rooms due to the racket that was being made by our... Wow. Good lord. I'd love to know what workplace that is. Somebody said Donna and Ricky

teamed up at our Christmas party. It was outside. There were portaloos and pushed the portalo over while the CEO was in it. Did they not? How badly do you want the summer off? Yeah. Yeah, like, ah, well, chuck it in.

I'll get a new job when autumn rolls around. And which way did they push the portalo over? Door. Because if you push it down near the door, the doors, you can't get out. Oh, my God. With the blue stuff all over you. Yeah. Somebody else said at our staff Christmas party,

we should have known it was off to a bad start when we had our staff photo and a guy in the front row took his penis out for the photo. So nobody noticed what until the end when they put it up on Facebook. I guess so. Everyone's like, what's that? Right. Yeah.

Lovely. So there you go. What's that? Right. Yeah. Lovely. So there you go. Behave at your Christmas parties, please. I feel for David Schwimmer. He has got a new girlfriend, Ross from Friends. Yep. He's got a new girlfriend. He was married,

but two years after announcing his split from his wife, he is with a woman who is 24 years younger than him. He's 53. He's 53? Yeah. I guess, yeah, Friends has been what? What was the 25th anniversary this year? Was it? Of it starting, yeah. Yeah, of it starting, yeah.

Yeah, so he's 53 and she's 29. Her name's Katie. So is that why this is news? Because she's 29. Her name's Katie. So is that why this is news? Because she's 29? Because everyone's like, ah, you were 24 when she was born. People love that. I was 10 when my husband was born.

Yeah, I was going to say boys still had cooties, but no, I went on a date with Jason at the movies when I was 10, so. Right. Boys were on the radar. It was a blip. A blip on the sonar equipment. Yeah, right. Boys were on the radar.

Oh my God, it's getting bigger. It won't go away. It's consuming the entire sonar. I do feel bad for perpetuating this because obviously just talking about it makes it a thing. But when it's somebody who has been in the public eye for so long, so Friends started in 1994 and finished in 2004, 10-year run, legendary TV show. Yeah.

She would have been four years old when it started and 14 when it finished. Wowzers. But that's a great gag, and people who have relationships with age gaps love that. Love that gag. Are you having a dig at us? But they're both adults now.

She's 29. She's an adult. She can do what she wants. And he's 53. He's very much an adult. It's Ross from Friends. Yeah. You'd eventually get to meet all the cast, right? And he looks great. She's a babe. Are we saying that would she be with him

if he wasn't Ross from Friends? Probably, because you'd hope that she's got to know a woman who's just a cool dude. To quote the woman of the show, woman plural. Women. You say women. Women. You know that's my pet peeve, women. I say women, don't I?

You say women. I say one woman, multiple women. Women. Women. So the women's of the woman. Women. Women, yep. So the women's of the show. Yep. This is Caitlin, Antonia and Megan Papadopoulos. All daddy'd get it is what they said when they were looking at photos of Ross Schwimmer.

That's what Caitlin said. Okay, so Caitlin, you could date anyone from Friends, like the main cast. Who would it be? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Now or then? Then, like from the TV show. Well, no, but there were so many years.

Okay, so I would date like the 1990s version of Chandler. Early Chandler. Too big a shirt, no. Oh, my God, yes, like real skinny, just like so funny. Bowling shirt Chandler. I feel like Chandler's a bold choice. You'd be lucky to get a date with Gunther. You are the Gunther of the friends in this group, okay?

But then now, like, but throughout the whole series, definitely Ross. Like, Joey's real cute, but also he's like, he's just got nothing going on up there. I'm touching my head. Right. We're not talking about the characters though, right? We're talking about like Joey as in... Well, no, you can stipulate if you want the character or the real life person. I think it should be the character.

Which one would you... But I think their character is... Like their real life person is so much in their character, you know, because they played it for so long. Like you would meet Phoebe now that... Like you'd meet Lisa and you'd be like, oh my gosh, she's just Phoebe. You know, like I know that she's an actor, blah, blah, blah, but she puts so much of her character, like, into her person.

You don't even know her. You don't even know her. I've re-watched Friends for the seventh time, the whole series. I just listened to a podcast with Lisa Kudrow and she can't remember, like, Friends moments because she's never watched it. Really? She's never watched it.

She's never really watched it. She was, what was on the Conan podcast. Yeah, yeah, the Conan Brown podcast, which I'm loving. Great podcast. Don't listen to podcasts. Listen to the radio. Unless you listen to our podcast. Podcast on your own time, please. Unless you listen to our podcast right now.

This just got deep. Very confusing. So, yeah. What did she say about Friends? When it first started, she thought, oh, they've just written six characters. There's no way these people would be friends with Phoebe. Like, I'm

not going to have a job. And then the cutest thing was she read, like, rumours of a friends reunion last year and, like, thought it was real and thought they were doing it without her. Oh, my God. She is just like all of us. I would be like Fletch and Pauna doing a show without me. Yeah, if you read the rumours.

Yeah. You'd be like, oh, no, it's happening. She thought it was going to happen without her. Oh. Real cute. Real cute. But. Yeah.

Ross totally would. I'd Ross now, Joey back then. Nah, Chandler. Chandler all the time. Or Ross now, Chandler back then. Nah, Chandler. Chandler all the time. Or Ross now, Chandler back then. Yeah, Chandler back then, Ross now. What about Chandler drug addiction Chandler? Yeah, he did go, yeah.

He did drug addiction a week. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data then you will love the spark data stack more data every month that you stay hey guys let's get back into that podcast there's a recipe change and uh i want to remain positive about these things yep but you know the old saying if it it ain't broke, break it. No, that's not how it goes. Don't fix it.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Well, apparently Bluebird chips are switching to canola oil. Wait, what has it been? I don't know what oil they've been rocking, but apparently the change to canola oil will mean a decrease in the amount of saturated fat. Well, that's good. Now, that's a good thing.

By up to as much as 85% in some brands, a chip is not good for you. I thought potato, vegetable. Yeah. Or corn chips. Yeah. Corn. Or cheese, vegetable. Made into a chip.

Yeah. So it will cut down on fat, sodium and sugars apparently. Which is good, but does that mean it's going to affect the taste? You know it will. It's got to. No, but they must have done. I mean, they're not just going to all of a sudden change. They would have tested.

They would have tested with the public. Although you'd like to think this, but in the past, like remember the shapes fiasco? Yeah. How could we forget? Grainwaves. The Shapes fiasco was one thing. Grainwaves was next level. That was a top tier

enjoyable chip. That thing now don't even get it. I had to explain to my kids they were eating a little pack of Grainwaves and they were like, I really like Grainwaves. And I said, gather around, children. Father will tell you the tale before they completely effed it all up by making them taste like sticky stiff cardboard. But the, like, hot chippies you get,

lots of people cook those in canola oil now. Because it is better for you. Pretty. I'll tell you, everything should just go back to animal fat. So do you know what? That stuff is good. Yeah, it's not very woke though, unfortunately. With the whole...

And it's like high in citronephrine. So like if you're doing paleo, maybe you're all good. Or what if I just want to do a little bit of paleo? When I deep fry stuff, that's my paleo. So do you know what kind... is it all bluebird chips? Yeah, it's the manufacturing plant. Yeah, apparently before vegetable oil was being used.

Wait, so vegetable oil is worse than canola? Canola oil. What's a canola? Vegetable oil takes into a whole lot. Where does canola oil come from? The canola bird. Is that from a flower? No, the canola bird. from? The canola bird. Is that from a flower? No, the canola bird.

They catch the canola bird and they wring it out and the oil that comes out is... Okay, canola oil or canola for short is a vegetable oil derived from a variety of seeds. Yeah, sunflower seeds. Yeah, yeah. What's the difference between sunflower oil and canola oil? Is there sunflower oil?

I don't know. I would have thought this was sunflower oil. Right. Okay, right. Interesting. Well, that'll be, yeah, because, you know,

do they do the burger rings? Bluebird? They do a, oh God, heaven help them. Twisties, rations. If their cheese balls

or burger rings taste any different, I'll be protesting outside the factory with a sign. I'll get a sign leaving a sign. Well, I'll be protesting outside the factory. Mm. With a sign. I'll get a sign. I'll actually take your word for it. Well, I'd do like an hour. Maybe we could set up shifts.

We could do hour shifts. Yeah. Like, because I really want to spread the message, but I'm like, I don't want to stand around all day with a sign. Like, boring. So busy. You've got so much to do. Yeah.

So busy. I could like, unless I like tapped it into the ground, like, you know, a full sales sign. Just leave it there. And then just leave it there and then leave. Yeah, right. That's a good thing to do with protest signs. Just tap them into the ground. Just leave them there.

And leave them there. That's a great idea. But do you know when this is happening? No. Okay. It's inevitable. No. Well, Megan may have podcast, ZM.

Well, Megan may have found a new calling. Well, I personally got to thank Megan, first of all, because she told me yesterday that gruts were on special. Don't say gruts. Undies. Knickers. Undie pants. Say knickers. Jockeys, which are actually the brand that I purchased.

Yeah. She said that farmers, she said that I'm going to treat myself today to some new undies. Yeah, and we talked about this yesterday. You just felt like splashing out, treating yourself on some $10 undies. They were $20. They went down to $10. Twice as many. Treat myself.

So I stopped in on the way home. And you know the thing about farmers, I didn't see a single farmer there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You have two kids, and you're turning into this. Not a single tractor to be seen. Oh, my God. Can we say completely unspawn?

Totally. Nonspawn. Yeah. And we've probably got to say something Bad about farmers So people don't think We're getting paid by them Yeah Leave that with me

That sounds worse now Because I know I can't think of a bad thing About farmers Oh when I went to go in Yeah The automatic door Wouldn't open for me

So I had to go to The other automatic door You know That's because it thought You were too skinny You went there Yeah way too skinny. You were way too skinned. It was like, did someone just walk past? No. No. Oh my god.

They can do no wrong. So I went and got a whole bunch of undies. Six new pairs of undies. And then you sent them to the group chat. We were all just like, cool. Yeah. Six pairs of undies. I was like, I'm wearing one today. You can probably hear it in my voice.

But it wasn't, it was the fact that what happened to you, Megan, when you stopped off to get your knickers. Well, it turns out Vaughn wasn't the only one that was influenced. I was in the knickers section. Okay. I was just literally deciding whether I was going to treat myself enough to get a matching set because I was like, I was just planning on getting knickers and then it was like I had a sticker being like, I've got a matching bra and I was like

oh my god, you deserve it. I've always wondered about that when women buy underpants. I generally don't really bother. You don't bother buying the matching set. Oh god, I would have to. Some people are religious about it. I'd be a sight to behold if I was a woman in my undies. I'd always match. Yeah, you would. You'd be a matching hobbit.

But sometimes the matching undies aren't your style or like they don't, just don't fit right. Right, right. Or you get a real lacy bra and maybe you're just not feeling the real lacy undies. Yeah. So you go granny panties, lacy bra. For comfort.

Yeah, sure. Okay. So yesterday when I was like deciding whether I'd done enough to get like a matching set, someone came over and was like, tapped me on the shoulder and said, I am only here with a handful of knickers, my bad. I am only here because I heard you say there was a sale on. I was like, you are welcome.

You are the Briscoes lady, but for farmers. Welcome. For farmers as undiesers. Yeah. And as I went to the counter, because I said, oh, I'm just trying to decide. I'm trying to get matching pair. She was like, absolutely. These are on sale too.

So as I was going to the counter, I saw a handful of undies and matching bras. Someone else said to me, I'm about to go over there. Is it good? Heard you on the radio this morning. So you're welcome, farmers. Guys, radio works. Radio advertising works.

The original word of mouth advertising. So you're basically an underwear influencer. Yeah, but I'm never doing any pictures on Mondays. These are, you just gotta, yeah, no, don't even imagine. Sorry. No, just, I'll tell you about the sales. You just walk out of the jockey show and you walk to the end of the runway and everyone's like, why is she full of clothes?

And you have a microphone and you're like, $10. $10 knickers. $10 knickers. $10 knickers. Now, go. Just spruiking. Spruiking at the fashion show. Hey, it works. It works.

Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now, if you're a Koru Club member and fly around at E! New Zealand. Well, there's no other Koru Club at E! New Zealand. Why did not people a Kauru Club member and fly around. At eNew Zealand. Well, there's no other Kauru Club at any point.

Why do not people know us about Kauru Club? Sorry. Vaughn. I do forget where I've come from. Sometimes I just. Is that Butler back yet? Your privilege is showing. He was going to get the rolls valeted.

Well, we're pretty lucky at work because work gives us coru. No, I wouldn't pay for it. No, exactly. But, you know, you go in there and it's like free food and drinks. Yeah, you get extra luggage allowance and stuff. Do you remember when we got told off for having a whole bottle of champagne on the table because you meant to keep it in the fridge and only get it by the glass? Yeah, we got lulled into a false sense of security that time.

You and me had a pinot on the table, Vaughan. Or did they take that off us too? Well, no, they said, where are you going with that? And I said, to our table. To the table. We're like the roughest people in there because it's all business people in suits. I know, and we always get looked at.

Yeah. So the Wellington Domestic Koru Lounge has been undergoing a transformation. Renovation. And in the meantime, there's a temporary lounge. Yeah. And, you know, still the same stuff. Yeah.

But just a smaller area. Margaret wrote on Air New Zealand's Facebook page. This is so great. Margaret. Two days ago. Yeah. Quarter to nine at night. Margaret writes,

When will the refurbished Wellington Domestic Koru Lounge be opened? Margaret. Two days ago. Yeah. Quarter to nine at night. Margaret writes, when will the refurbished Wellington domestic koru lounge be opened? It's been out of action for months now. I mean, it's still in action. It's just a little room as opposed to a big lounge. And at that stage, you're kind of like, well, she's asking a question. Yeah. We can't assume her tone. Yeah.

Nothing too offensive. She's a boomer. Looking at her profile picture, she's a boomer. Looking at her profile picture, she's a boomer. They use letters on a keyboard very sparingly. One day they might run out. When you send your mum

a long message and she goes, K, K. Don't K me, mum. Air New Zealand replied and they're very good on social media, Air New Zealand. They are, yeah. They wrote, Kia ora, mum. Air New Zealand replied, and they're very good on social media, Air New Zealand, with their replies. They wrote, Kia ora, Margaret.

Our team are working hard to finish our amazing lounge for customers. We hope to have more information regarding this shortly. FC. Now, FC is what you write when you're on a social media team. The FC will be the initials of the person that dealt with it. Yep. Francis Cook. Freddie Carolina. Carolina.

Freddie Carolina. Let's call them Freddie Carolina. Freddie Carolina writes that reply, which I think's polite. It's good. It's standard. Kia ora Margaret, working on it. Margaret replies, hello FC, bracket, I'm not Maori, close bracket.

Any likelihood it'll be open by mid-December. Now that, you might be thinking, I don't think Air New Zealand assumed Margaret's race. Well, they just said Kilda, didn't they? So that's the official New Zealand greeting that I'm pretty sure everybody knows and can accept regardless of race, gender, religion. I'm not Maori. Any likelihood it will be opened by mid-December? In New Zealand reply,

we do not expect the lounge to be reopened within 2019, Margaret. However, tai hoa kai koe kakete, all the amazing improvements we have made. Loveheart FC, Margaret, writes, Air New Zealand, I'm still not Maori, because she probably sees Mary, Murray. What's the English translation for that? Air New Zealand said,

we've done a bit of digging for you, Margaret, and it looks like the lounge will be open just before Christmas. Oh, I love this. Yes. We can't wait I love this. Yes. We can't wait to open the doors again. Then you'll get to see all the amazing improvements we've made. That, says Margaret, that would be Christmas, a festival that was not part of the Maori calendar.

I'm pleased they have a corrupted English word for it. Wow, Margaret. They should cancel her membership. Can they do that? I don't think so. Can for it. Wow. Margaret. They should cancel her membership. Can they do that? I don't think so. Cancel it. Why did she keep going?

Why did she say it in the first place? First and last name This is why you've got to watch your boomers. Yeah. They keep your boomers on a short leash.

Don't let them go rogue on the internet. Was there anything more to that or is that when the correspondence stopped? Oh, everybody, there was a pile on.

I love any New Zealand's responses that they presented. Yeah, that's so good. They weren't rude. No, they weren't. They answered her questions. There are people both in support of Margaret. Really? Sadly, and people having a bit of a laugh about the whole situation. Yeah. So, yeah, and people having a bit of a laugh about the whole situation.

Yeah. So, yeah, just remember. Because the other day I said on air three official languages of the country. Yep. Te Reo, sign language, and English. Well, there's only two official languages of this country, Maori and sign language. English is what is called a de facto language. Right.

Like, you know when you're just with someone long enough that you're kind of like, meh. I guess you get half a shit. That's New Zealand's, that's Aotearoa's relationship to the English language. Right. Like, you know when you're just with someone long enough that you're kind of like, meh. I guess you get heart attack. That's New Zealand. That's Aotearoa's relationship to the English language. Yeah, you've been here long enough, it's there. Yeah. Well, don't tell Margaret that. Christ.

She'll have a bloody brain hemorrhage or a heart attack. I think I will. She won't believe you. Am I a bad person? Okay. We've had some correspondence from Anonymous. I can tell you. Am I a bad person? Okay. We've had some correspondence from Anonymous. I can tell you it is from a guy. Okay.

Hey, guys. I need help. Am I in the wrong here? I really need to know if I'm a bad person. Me and my wife have been married three years, and when we got together, we both agreed we didn't want to have children. Now I've changed my mind, and I know that didn't want to have children. Now I've changed my mind and I know

that I really want to be a dad. The problem is she is still hard set on never having children. I've decided that I want to donate my sperm maybe to a lesbian couple or to a woman who would let me be a part of the child's life. But my wife sees that as a massive betrayal. My argument is that I wouldn't be in a relationship with the women. She is and will always be my partner, but I really want and feel like I need to be a dad. What should I do?

Ah. Interesting. Wow. And she's like, no, you're not. But then why does she care? Why does the wife care? Yeah, like, if she doesn't want the kids He can go off and do it It's not like

It's kind of like a side line That's a whole mess There's a Big Lot of stuff To digest there With Like how heavily

Is he going to be involved? Yeah Like is this couple going to Like financially I mean this is Well yeah That's the most important thing But I'm just thinking yeah like is this couple gonna like financially I mean this is well yeah that's the most important thing but I'm just thinking

I'm just processing everything that that's the start of it is involved in it financially he will need to support you would have to have but you don't always have to

like I know a friend no but if he wants to be in their life he wants to be a part of the life yeah yeah but he would only just be

he wouldn't have to give them money every week like child support. No. You would have to get this all written down. You'd have to have it worked out. You'd have to have a contract. But then, so if she doesn't want to have children, he's going to have to spend time

with the kid. I mean, maybe she'll grow to love and just take it on board. Maybe that's what he's hoping for. But then it wouldn't be her kid. She'd be all like... It's hard because when you get into a relationship, you make sure that your morals align and what you want out of life

and all that kind of stuff so you can build it together. And then once you get married, like, to have it defer so much from the plan you had is like, I can see why she feels a bit betrayed. And he doesn't want to end it with her? That's not an option?

No. Doesn't sound like it. No, she'll always be my partner. That's what he said. Huh. Wow. What a situation to be in. I'm just glad that's not me on either side.

Because that's really tough. Yeah. Like, obviously you want to support your partner and be like if this is what you want in life go do it yeah but if what you discussed early on about not wanting kids

was a foundation of the relationship and now you're the one that's changed the agreement yeah and you're putting it all on them

and they're like well no I'm just still sticking to the person that I was with in the agreement we came to earlier and it's maybe they are the bad maybe they are a bad person I'm just still sticking to the person that I was with in the agreement we came to earlier. And it's maybe.

They are the bad. Maybe they are a bad person. I don't know. I wonder if this has even happened to someone before. Does it say their age? Someone messaged in a very good point. No, it doesn't say their age. Because my husband never wanted kids.

Then when he turned 30, he changed his mind. It was a maturity thing. We've now got three kids. If these people are young, if she's young. Maybe she'll change her he turned 30, he changed his mind. It was a maturity thing. We've now got three kids. Yeah. If these people are young, if she's young. Maybe she'll change her mind too. She could change her mind. Yeah.

Because I don't think you need it. Because I've got a friend that donated sperm to like a lesbian couple. Yeah. And like he's involved like a little bit. Like he'll go and see them every now and again. Yeah. But he doesn't have to like give them money. He's never had to like support them.

That's not the deal. That's not the deal. Yeah. But he wants to be to like give them money. He's never had to like support them. That's not the deal. That's not the deal, yeah. But he wants to be a part of the kids life. Oh yeah. But they're happy for that to happen as well. Yeah. So I guess it just all depends who it's with. Yeah. But it's not like he's going to get trapped into like having to support them. He's also not in a

relationship with anybody. Yeah. Yeah, true. But maybe if she was involved in the conversation with the woman or the women, then she would feel more comfortable on the arrangement. Okay, well, we want to know what you think now. 0800 DARS at M. You can call us. Text 9696.

Is he a bad person? For wanting kids after they got married and they decided they weren't going to have them. Yeah. What do you think? Have you ever been in this situation as well? Am I a bad person? So we've had correspondence

this morning from a guy who needs help. Him and his wife have been married three years. When they got together, they both agreed they didn't want kids. Now he's changed his mind.

He desperately wants to be a dad, so he wants to maybe donate sperm. The wife sees this as a massive betrayal. Is he a bad person? What a situation to be in, eh? What a hopeless situation. Pretty split, too, on the test machine. It's hard because the love you have for your partner, that could be really strong and really different to the fact that the need to have a kid.

So how is he going to choose between the two? Somebody said he made a commitment to his wife first, so she comes first. Kids with her or nobody. He already agreed and new to that. New to that. You can't have another family. That's selfish. Right.

That, I believe, is eating your cake and having it too. Yeah. He's not a bad person, but it will change things forever. Yeah. And he needs to decide what level but it will change things forever. Yeah. And he needs to decide what level of change is acceptable to him. Okay. Chris, what do you think? Is he a bad person?

Yeah, I kind of do a little bit. Mainly because that's kind of what they agreed on in the marriage. And I think it's going to change the dynamics of the marriage. Because whether it's their child together or a child that comes into that marriage, whether it's 1% or 100%, it still is part of what's not agreed on in the marriage. Well, they are married, so it should be something that's not that. Yeah. So he's kind of got to respect that that's not what she wants. Yeah.

And unfortunately, if that's what he really wants, then maybe being married to her is not it. And he's got to follow something else. Yeah, good point. Chris, thanks for your call. Natalie, do you think he's a bad person? No, I don't think he's a bad person. But what's he going to do? He needs to obviously tell her sooner rather than later

because otherwise it's just wasting everybody's time. So you think they should break up? I think they need to have a sit down and have a good long chat about it to see where she's kind of at. But if she's dead set on not having children and he's dead set on having children, then obviously, yeah, they're going to have to. Yeah, maybe the thought of him

maybe wanting to leave could maybe change her mind. Yeah, but I don't think that's a healthy way to bring a baby into the world. No. Natalie, thanks for your call. Caitlin, what do you think? Is he a bad person?

Oh, look, I don't know if I could say he's a bad person or not, but if I needed a sperm donor, I would not be wanting to take sperm from someone who wanted to be a dad. That is not what the role is. Right. You'd want someone who is... Yeah, it's a hands-off agreement, really, isn't it?

He's not giving a sperm because he gets to be a father. Hell no. Anyone who wants a sperm donor should not be looking at him. I think he wants to have, like, a separate agreement, not just to go on and do it anonymously. He obviously wants to do it with a family. Thanks, you call Caitlin some text messages.

How would he feel if it was his wife who had changed her mind and wanted to have a baby with another man? The old boots on Oh yeah, true. How does that change it?

That's what nieces and nephews are for. That's what he said. Just get more involved in their lives. Yeah, and then you give them back at said, just get more involved in their lives. Yeah, and then you give them back at the end of the day or when they're crying. You don't have to do all the hard work.

You buy the noisy presents as revenge on your siblings from growing up. Yeah, exactly. Somebody said, the wife's the bad person for not allowing him to be himself and not true to who he is now. People have the right to grow and change. I'm so torn with that though because

the person before who texted and said that it was really selfish that he's like, this is what I want and doesn't care about her feelings. But then in the same token, it's his life and she's got to respect his wishes. So I literally... And you do grow and change. He's entitled to change his mind.

Thankfully it's not me in this situation. But you'd say 50-50 Really split Wow Really split Wow Wow good luck Good luck mate Good luck

Good luck out there Yeah there's really no Yeah It's a wild world Fact of the day Day Day Day

Day Today's Thanksgiving In America? Yeah, but they're behind So it'll be more like It feels like it's tomorrow But it's actually today Right Thursday the 28th of November

Where's the last Thursday in November? Tomorrow That'd be annoying Having to go home now for Thanksgiving and then go back for Christmas. More people go home for Thanksgiving than Christmas. If they don't live near their family, going home for Thanksgiving is the big deal.

Is the big one. Yeah. That's not as long though, is it? That's just one day. But then they don't have their big summer holidays at Christmas either. That's true. Because it's cold and freezing, so they take them in. They're like,

we'll continue to work in the cold. So this is about, I thought, you got Thanksgiving. Yep. Black Friday. We work in radio. Yep. What's the correlation there?

And I found a story about a, there's an old TV show, an old sitcom called WKRP in Cincinnati. It was about a radio station in Cincinnati. Oh, okay. And they had a Thanksgiving episode called Turkeys Away. Right. The story of Turkeys Away that this episode tells

is based on an actual radio station's idea for a Thanksgiving promotion. I know this story. The Turkeys Away. Yep. This is brilliant. So in Atlanta, this came from a radio executive called Jerry Bloom.

He said when he worked in Atlanta at Thanksgiving, a radio station decided to arrange a publicity stunt where turkeys were thrown out of a helicopter. A live one? Or a truck.

Like ones ready to cook? No Okay So The truck Went terribly They opened the back And they would be like We're setting turkeys free

This was like This episode aired in the 70s So this radio station thing Was like early 70s Right Oh you certainly couldn't get away With the mistreatment of animals now at a radio. I wouldn't even think the last quarter, not since I've been working in radio,

would anybody have been like, wow, my views. Really? Wow, my views. I'm just remembering your first week. You didn't throw a goat anywhere. It came for a walk. You hitchhiked up the country with a goat,

which then retired to your dad's farm and lived happily ever after. And lived a happy life until it died of goat's Crohn's disease. That's what happens. Sleepy goats. Sleepy goats. They can't digest and then they pass. Happy life, Matt. So this, the turkeys that were set loose out of the back of the truck,

they were driving and turkeys, like wild turkeys, this is the difference also, wild turkeys, like wild chickens, a lot more athletic than their specifically farmed right family.

They set them loose. A lot of them hit the ground. Have you ever tried jumping off something that's moving and trying to run at the right speed when you hit the ground?

Because you're moving at the speed of the vehicle. Nigh impossible. Yeah. So the turkeys, a lot of them stumbled into oncoming traffic. It was a massacre.

Okay. But thankfully, they still had the helicopter drop. Now, nothing could go wrong from a helicopter drop, right? Because they're birds. Yeah.

They'll be able to fly down. They fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easy. And then when they land, I don't know what, they'll rustle them up and eat them for Thanksgiving. And someone will do the butchering part of it and they'll eat them

for Thanksgiving. Thanks, radio station promotion. Nope. The birds fell and were described as falling like sacks of wet cement onto the pavement below. Oh, that's horrible. So were there people waiting for these free turkeys?

Yeah, yeah. They were gathering crowds of families with children thinking, what a wonderful tradition to bear witness to for the first time. Yeah. And maybe we'll also get a turkey that we will then eat as a family for Thanksgiving. What did they think was going to happen, that they were going to fly? That the turkeys were going to be like,

flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. But did they not take into account the downspeed of the rotor? That. And gravity. These turkeys have never flown. They were farmed. Oh, God.

They've never been in the wild. That's horrible. I had heard this story. It's a bit of a radio legend, isn't it? Yeah. This story. Yeah. Because you're always like,

well, we'll do this radio promo. It can't be as bad as that time. Oh, my God. And there's two examples. That guy died because he didn't drink water. No, no, he drank too much water and didn't wee. That's right. For a Nintendo wee.

For a Nintendo wee. And then there's the turkeys out of the helicopter. Yeah. Those are the two. Yeah. Will it be that bad? So today's fact of the day. What?

Go radio go. Today's fact of the day is turkeys won't fly out of a helicopter. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We were reading before about the cleanliness of gymnasiums. Gyms. You read a story, Megan?

There's a gross mistake that we're all making at the gym. Right. And this is what we were discussing. We'll get to Fletch in just a second. So everyone takes a towel. It tells you to take a towel Or use the wipes If your gym has those wipes To wipe down afterwards

Like to be clean But you should use a towel To wipe down the majority And then the gym wipes No this is The mistake we're making Is that we're wiping down The equipment

Like dumbbells Machines Mats or whatever With our towels You wipe the towel Yeah you wipe it with your towel And then you use it with your towel. And then you use it on your face.

Because you get sweaty. Yeah, sure. So then you're basically rubbing your face on the gym equipment. Yeah, so everyone else's dirty, sweaty butts, face. And skin issues. Everything, yeah. Everything is going on your face. It's actually quite a germaphobic, like if you're a germaphobe, that would be an absolute nightmare of the gym.

I think I'm a little bit of a germaphobe because I don't like going to the bathrooms or like the shower. I never use a gym shower. I never use public showers because it creeps me out. I get like a Veruca. Veruca.

Veruca water. Yeah. I don't want... You don't want that. You don't want tinea from the athlete's foot. I don't want... You don't want that. You don't want tinnier from the... Athlete's foot, yeah. Athlete's foot. I don't like water residue that I don't know where it's from.

Yeah. That's a major phobia of mine. It's other people's water. Yeah, right. Like pools. I'm even getting a bit creeped out by them when I'm older. Yeah. So, yeah, using a towel is obviously good,

but keep maybe a face towel and then like a, I don't know, how are you supposed to get around this? Well, no, my gym has paper towels and the squirty bottle. So that's what you'll use to wipe the stuff down with. Yeah. And then you use the towel as your own. For you. Yes.

Yeah. Is that what you do, Fletch? Look, all I said is I don't use my towel to wipe down gym equipment because I don't want that on my face. Because that's for my sweaty face. That's for your face. So say if I was doing sit-ups on the mat, I'd put the towel where my head goes. Right.

But I'm not going to wipe the mat afterwards with my towel. What about where your back was? Well, yeah, it covers the first half of the mat. So it's like head and back. What about your butt? And then if I needed to wipe down the equipment,. What about your butt? And then I would wipe, if I needed to wipe down the equipment, if I'd sweated on it,

I would get the squirty bottle on the paper towels. I'm not using my, that's all I said to you is I'm not using my towel on the yuck gym equipment. Right. And now you guys are like,

he doesn't wipe down. To be fair, I don't see many towels at my gym because we had those wipes. No one brings, hardly anyone brings towels. No one brings the... No. No one brings towels.

No one always brings towels. So they use... Everyone just uses wipes on all the equipment afterwards. They're like... Do you give it a pre-wipe? What do you mean? Like before you get on the equipment, you wipe it. No, because I kind of trust that the person before me wiped it.

Oh, yuck. But you know when you get home from the gym and you're like, my hands feel like they've got lots on them. Always wash your hands after the gym. Also, Caitlin's just sent a message to me saying, this is 100% not what Fletch said. Classic. Caitlin, what?

She just said one thing on air and another on. I'm sorry, Fletch, but you need to be called out on this. You can't just go around. You're leaving in a week and a half. Don't throw me under the bus and then leave. There is no angel halo above your head at all when it comes to anything, pal. I'm pretty cute. I'm pretty cute.

No, because this morning you're like, oh, who's taking time to wash their machines? Unless they fully sweat all over them. Yeah, unless they really sweat all over it. But if I'm using dumbbells or just stuff that kind of touches me. Nobody gets out the squirty bottle and paper towels for a dumbbell. No, you're right. No one does. No one does.

That's just your hands. But you're supposed to wipe down everything like that. You're not supposed to wipe down the dumbbells are you? Yeah, but you're supposed

to do lots of things. It's just hands. No, but if you sweat it on, there's, like you said, everything's touching everything. I know, but that's just hands. I use that wet thing and just give it

a bit of a brum and I even make the motorbike noise when I rub it around it. Bullshit. No, you don't. I do, because I don't do the individual dumbbells. Do you do the machine? I do that one where you do, you sit down, because you get to sit down. You do both at the same time.

And you wipe the bar. Well, I wipe the thing that I lean on, and then, you know, I go brum, brum on the part, and I make the motorbike noise like I'm revving that. But do you use... No one's wiping dumbbells. No. But I wipe the rubbery handle parts

of all the other stuff like if you're doing the machine. No one even does that. Oh, yeah. I do that. If you're on a machine machine and you're giving it a wipe down anyway, you wipe the handles.

Yeah, you wipe the handles down. But I'm going to... When I go to the gym today... Actually, no, I don't think I've got time today. When I go to the gym next... Oh, my God, you're so busy. What have you got on today?

I've got a lot. I've got a brunch. I've got a brunch. Are you getting a bit sweaty? No, I've got a great idea. No, I've got a brunch.

Let's get one of those little tracker things and like stick it on his shoe or something. He won't. Because he doesn't have a car. What are you, what are you,

why do you care what I do? Put it on in his hat. You're so nosy. You're so nosy. Because I'm so bad for how you're always like. We are busy people and you're always like, I do? Put on his hat. He wears that all the time. Because I'm so bad at how you're always like so... We are busy people and you're always like, I can't, I'm busy. But you're not busy.

Sam, I've got a brunch. Okay. A brunch. Yeah. Who are you brunching with? My friend James. We can't brunch. What do you mean we can't brunch?

Yeah, after the show and brunching. And then what? Then there's like 22 hours until you have to be back at work. I am not wearing a tracker. I'm not on home detention. He thinks you don't know what busy is. Social life doesn't constitute.

You're the one that decided to open up a cafe, Megan. That's not my fault. You could be living a life of luxury like me. A blaziness. I mean laziness, not luxury. Just looking at Facebook memories, seven years ago today,

my father and I started building the decking that we built at our old place. Would you like to correct yourself there? What? Oh, Dad built it. Dad built it. Exactly. My Dad built it and I was just like...

It's real hard, works real hard. It's real hot. It did. How many more of these holes I've got to dig? Yeah. So that was seven years ago today. And purely by coincidence, today, seven years later, we're building a tree hut.

Wow. For the girls. No, no, for us. For the boys club. Yeah, for the boys. So depressing that was seven years ago. I remember you telling us about that like it was last week. Now, you guys did something seven years ago, that means. Didn't you guys go to the Hobbit

movie thing? Because I remember I missed, I didn't The Hobbit thing was like last minute, but I'd already booked the week off. Oh, is that that time I fell asleep in Peter Jackson's theatre? Yes, I believe so. That's a long movie. That's seven years ago as well. Wow, okay.

So, yeah, today we start building a tree hut for my girls. Yeah. And that's like a Christmas, it's an early sort of Christmas situation present. That's pretty cool because I never had a tree hut. Me neither.

My dad was a builder. He could have easily built a tree hut. Same. Same. Same. I just, maybe they didn't have resource planning consent. It wasn't a problem in the 80s. Was it your, are you getting planning consent for this? Oh yeah, it's all gone through the council.

No, it's all good catch. God, I can't wait till the council comes around and they demand to tear down your girl's tree hut because it's wonky. We'll train ourselves. It's a leaky tree hut. It's a leaky tree hut built by a non-registered master builder. Yeah.

But a design's been built. Right. Been drawn, rather. They drew a design? Who drew this? Indy. Oh, Indy. Okay.

Oh, God. Did they have a chimney with smoke coming out of it? It had... So she kind of did the outside architectural drawing of what she wants structurally. To scale? It actually wasn't too bad. Okay. Because she went and looked at the tree we're going to put it in and tried to draw the tree

and then drew the... Oh, smart. ...heart around the tree rather than drawing the heart and expecting it to fit in the tree. Did she keep it realistic or did she go semi-extra? No, she kept it pretty realistic. Oh, good. around the tree rather than drawing the hut and expecting it to fit in the tree. Did she keep it realistic or did she go semi-extra? No, she kept it pretty realistic. Oh, good on her. On the inside,

so then there was the inside drawing. It had like a fridge, a TV, a TV. So extravagant. And then they got into drawing furniture. Oh, okay. And I don't want to say my children are advanced,

but they drew some very lovely minimalist Nordic couches. Oh, okay. Much like your mother. They took after your mother there with her Nordic furniture. Was there an Ottoman? No Ottoman, no. Now, have they thought about a slide or a bar to get out of this? What's the exit?

A ladder? We talked about the entrance and exit, and we're thinking a ladder up, and then an entrance through the floor. Oh, a trapdoor. A trapdoor. That's also where they could fall through, though. That's why you go in and then you'll shut the trapdoor.

Right, okay. But then does the trapdoor, because there's going to be like a small outdoor porch area before launching water bombs and stuff. Right, okay. Small. Would you believe the trapdoor would be best to come up through the porch or internally? Internally.

Yeah. You think an internal access? No, but then you're limiting your floor space. Yeah. Because you're going to have to have people coming and going. Yeah. I think maybe better. Or maybe we don't go trap door.

Maybe we go ladder up over the outside of the porch area. Or a laundry chute. Do a laundry chute. Yes. Like you're thinking a bit of ducting. Yeah. Or maybe just a rubbish bin. Down to a rubbish bin.

A rubbish chute. Land into a rubbish bin. Yeah, yeah. You should do like a rope climbing net up one wall. You know, just like knotted into squares. Nobody likes rope climbing nets, Megan. You always get tangled in them. They're so hard to climb.

That's why they're always on gladiator courses. Yeah. And Ninja Warrior. That's something great. Flying fox. No, secure it at the bottom. Oh, flying fox.

Everybody wanted a flying fox but the logistics of a flying fox are a bit pussy. Okay then, flying fox. Yes. And when we come over

for afternoon drinks are we allowed to use a tree hut? It's got to be big enough for adults. Oh, well, we should put a bar in there. Because I never got a tree hut. Let's put a bar in there. Let's just do a flying fox off your roof.

Down into the pool. It's important to leave room for expansion. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And music lives here. ZM.