ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 01 2019

Episode Date: September 30, 2019

Black Caps - Marty Guptill and Lockie Ferguson are in studio, Community Notices and when were you asked to break the law?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. One minute past six. Good morning. But it still feels like... I didn't start that. Why is one hour so difficult? One hour. It's like, not really...

Just enough to trip you up. Yeah. I haven't found it so much with the sleep this time around, but the eating. Oh, what are you eating about? Well, I'm hungry an hour before I should be, and then I'm hungry an hour after I am. Like, it's nuts. Yeah. It was like an early lunch yesterday, but then by one o'clock, I was like, do I have

lunch now? I've had lunch. Maybe just- I feel like I should have another lunch. Snack more. Are you snacking more? I'm not snacking enough. Maybe that's the thing. I'm not snacking enough. A few snacks. Did eat a carrot yesterday. Oh, brunch. It was a weird snack. Yeah. You alright? Any hummus or just a carrot? No, it was just a plain carrot. Why? Why would you do that? Well, I didn't have any hummus. And I literally just, we just had a carrot. Right. I'd already had a, I didn't have any hummus. And I literally just, we just had a carrot. Right.

I'd already had a banana. Can't have too many. That's ingrained in me since my childhood. That was to stop you eating too many bananas in the 90s. Right. When they were like expensive and hard to get. Like, you'd run out. Well, we did anyway because mum would only go shopping once a week.

Yeah. You only had one banana a day. I know, I wouldn't dare have two bananas a day. Why is that? It was ingrained into us. Just one banana a day. Yeah. How many nanis would you have a day? You don't want to overdo the potassium.

That was what mum always used to say. I don't know if you can overdo the potassium just by eating two bananas, but it was a clever trick. I've got to sort of stop eating bananas. And haven't we found out that most of the potassium is in the skin? One to three bananas a day is considered a moderate intake for most healthy people. Who would eat three bananas in a day?

A cyclist. You may be. They've always got a nanny in the back pocket. Is that a banana in your back pocket? Or have you bent your penis around the back and thrown it to a back pocket? Probably the last one. Some weird way. Yeah.

Ugh. The top six is coming up. It sure is. Last night, my restaurant rules started on telly in New Zealand. This is like my kitchen rules, except people already have a restaurant. Okay. Right. So they entered to, I guess, in a way to promote their restaurant, but also.

But like risky business. Because what if you come out looking like a d-bag? I know. If you suck. Good lord. Yeah, people won't go to your restaurant. Yeah, that's a very real... So the top six other things we need, like my things, my kitchen rules, my restaurant rules. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Story time. As per three news stories, headlines that I've found for news stories, I want to make and pick one of the following three. Headline one, Washington man goes chasing waterfalls. Headline two, nine-year-old bored at grandma's. And headline three, Florida woman confused by labelling. Oh.

Do you like bored at grandma's? Yeah, because it's school holidays. Are your kids at grandma's at the moment? Yep. Yep, they're at... Nanny's. Nanny's, okay. And then I go to Nana's tomorrow.

Yeah, does she spoil them, give them biscuits? Nanny more than Nana. Okay, right. Nana's my mum. She'll hand out a biscuit or two But She won't go overboard Yeah

Yeah but They don't get bored At either of them Because it's always something to do Well they're on farms So aren't they all Yeah farms There's lots to do around

Yeah Yeah Yeah I'm pretty keen for that Oh we're going to Yeah Okay Alright we go to Tip City in Dayton

Is that Florida as well All great stories Are from Florida aren't they Tip City Dayton T-I-P go to Tip City in Dayton. Is that Florida as well? All great stories are from Florida, aren't they? Tip City, Dayton. T-I-P-P, Tip City, Dayton. Tip City, Dayton. Oh, Ohio, isn't it? Ohio, yeah. Yeah, okay, that's Ohio.

Well, a nine-year-old boy was at Grandma's and I'm guessing was bored. Wasn't much to do at Grandma's. So he took off with Grandma's car and drove off heading towards Dayton from Tip City. Oh, dear. That's according to Jeff Kramer from the Ohio State Highway Patrol.

Around 2.30, state troopers started getting multiple 911 calls reporting a reckless driver on the Interstate 75 heading towards Tip City. The van exited. The van? The van. The van exited. The van? The van. Good Lord. Wow.

Apparently the van exited at the I-75, driving into other jurisdictions. So I guess it's over state lines. Hmm. It wasn't until around 3pm that troopers began to receive more calls about the reckless driver. And they managed to find the car. More 911 calls, apparently driving between 80 and 90 miles an hour.

Is this getting up there like 140 to 150 kph? Yeah, this is a nine-year-old. The car crashed into two other vehicles after he exited the I-75, and it wasn't until the aftermath of the crash that the snake troopers realised they had a nine-year-old behind the wheel. Oh, Lord. No one was injured. That's amazing.

The boy was taken into custody. He was later released to his grandma. But the troopers said he could be facing a list of traffic charges, including grand theft auto in Juvie, in Juvie Court. Nine! Nine years old. He was herning! I can't believe that.

Crazy. And a van. And a van! Who knew vans could go that fast? What kind of van was it? It must have been a flash one maybe. Can you imagine your dad's old Mazda bonga going 150 k's an hour? Oh, no, definitely not. Definitely not.

It would rattle itself to pieces. The curtain rails would fall down. Even whenever I've driven a van, then, yeah, they don't go that fast. No. What did Nana need a van for? So many questions. So many questions. Where was Nana during this time?

Just like watching TV or? How would you know how to drive if you were nine? I guess on a farm maybe. You grew up on a, you could just clink it into automatic though. Yeah.

And then it's just stop and go. Yeah. Yeah. Accelerator. It doesn't sound like he was using the brake that much.

No, probably not. That fast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. The All Blacks are playing at 11.15 tonight. It's Canada, so I don't know if that's worth staying up late for, is it?

Well, if it was like watching their actual game. Canada as a country is very much worth staying up late for, but not if they're playing rugby against New Zealand. No, no. You'd stay up late for a big game if it was Aussie or South Africa or something. It just sucks that they have to have them during the week, you know? I understand everyone can't all play at the weekend, but it would be nice.

The World Cup should just be here every time and on at a good time. Yeah. In the weekend. Yeah. But it will actually cost New Zealand, even though it's not here, in terms of productivity.

Do you know, just without the Rugby World Cup, $1.65 billion a year are what hangovers cost businesses in New Zealand. $1.65 billion. Now that you have a cafe and you hire and you're in charge of people, do you get the old Saturday, Sunday morning, I'm sick, I can't come in. Yeah. And you know because you've pulled that same shit.

But. So you can't be angry. So, And you know because you've pulled that same shit. But. Yeah. So you can't be angry. So, yeah, it's really difficult. Do you know, actually, in the Holidays Act, it doesn't define what's sick. Like, you don't have to define it. Right. So it says sickness could be unfit for work for health reasons of any nature, however caused.

So that includes self. Yeah, dehydration and vomiting is caused. So that includes self... Dehydration and vomiting is... Well, that includes self-inflicted. Yeah, right. And the thing is, if you take one day off work, you're not required to get a medical certificate. So there's very little a boss can actually do. How many days off work do you have to have? Three, I believe.

So there's little a boss can do. If you want to take a sick day, and even if the boss knows, it's because you're hungover. I mean, it's not going to reflect well. If you want to take a sick day and even if the boss knows it's because you're hungover. I mean, it's not going to reflect well next time you try to like get the next step up on the... Yeah, get a pay... Corporate ladder.

Ask for a pay rise. Or a pay review, yeah. Had 400 hungover sick days. Yeah. That's a lot of money. That is a lot of money. So they're saying, you know, like, think about the effect

it'll have on your business and then if you're a boss, maybe you should put on incentives to come into work the next day, like breakfast. Free slices from the cabinet. How would that go down? Or free, you do good doughnuts. Free unlimited coffees is what you need. But then that's not. Dehydrates you.

That sounds like it's going to be a good idea, but then you'd just be like hungover and jittery. Yeah. And then you vom on someone's eggs, Benny. You don't want your staff doing that. They're probably better to stay at home. Yeah. But that's just in Megan's scenario. What about the average...

You know, what about other industries? What have they got to bribe their employees to... Every year, they reckon it's around $1,100 in lost productivity per employee per year. Wow. And think about even just the tired people. Yeah, so that's the thing. Even if you're not drinking.

I'm not taking enough of my average here. No, well, no, you don't take that many sick days, but you're a hard, diligent worker. Well, no, I don't take hangover days. I haven't taken one for years. No, but also it's not just people who are taking a sick day. If you're turning up tired and hungover, like you're actually showing up, but

you're still not doing the work. I turn up tired every day, so your productivity is still very low. Right. I can't blame the tiredness on that. Genetically, that's who I am. Well, our latest as well from the World Cup last night, Scotland played Samoa 34-0 to Scotland

in the latest game. Yeah. I don't like it when teams get trashed. Did we say that All Blacks are playing tonight? Because that's tomorrow, Wednesday. Is that correct? Yeah. Wednesday, not tonight.

So tomorrow's game is France-USA at 8.45 and New Zealand after that versus Canada at 11.15. I honestly thought it was Wednesday. Is it not? No, it versus Canada at 11.15. I honestly thought it was Wednesday. Is it not? No, it's Tuesday. Wow. Okay. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. Last night on television, my restaurant rule started. Now, this is like my kitchen rules, except these people already own restaurants. Like actual proper restaurants. Yeah, actual proper restaurants. Huh. Huh. Is that like, oh man, that's scary. Yeah. Because what if you ruin your reputation as a restaurant and people decide

they just don't like you or... Well, you think about if you went on and it was like my cafe rules. Yeah. And you went on and then you just had a bad day. Yeah. And you went on and then you just had a bad day. Yeah. And you just had, you basically

just put your name out, your business's name out there and attached it to a rubbish performance. Yeah. People aren't going to be rushing in,

are they? No. They're not going to be rushing in for a mochaccino and a brioche. You've got to really back yourself.

Yeah. I don't know if, I didn't see it, but I don't know if anyone got eliminated on the first night. Oh my gosh. Met to that. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Suckery bleh. I think they did. So the top six other my insert word restaurant rules shows that we need. Okay. Number six on the list

of the top six my other things rules we need are my food truck rules. Oh yeah. Because I love, I don't know what it is about a food truck. I bloody love food trucks. I'm sure...

Wouldn't there be food truck kind of shows on... Competitions. Yeah, the Food Network. I've seen a food truck show. But it was more it followed these people in this one town famous for food trucks. Oh, right. As they competed for the local dollar.

Oh, right. Sort of things. I think what I like about food trucks is that you can have multiple cuisines. It's like for the local dollar. Oh, right. Sort of things. I think what I like about food trucks is that you can have multiple cuisines. It's like a food court, except it's not loud. It's like tapas. Street food tapas. Yes.

And you can eat outside. And it generally means it's summer. So they basically pull into my driveway every night, park up. I'll run an extension cord out if they need power. Okay. And they feed me. Yeah. He up. I'll run an extension cord out if they need power. Okay. And they feed me. Yep. Heaps.

Yep. I please my kids as well. Basically, all you need is plain pasta or fries for that. Yeah. And then I give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Okay. How many episodes in this series? It runs forever.

They just literally keep pulling into my driveway every night. Attempting to please. I don't know if that would be good for the waistline, if there were food trucks in your driveway every day. I wouldn't need to leave the house, so who else would see me? Oh, the camera's... We'll work angles, so you never really see my body. Just close-ups of your...

My ever-fattening face. Yeah, just close-ups of your face. Yeah. And then it'll eventually, I'll just be behind a curtain, I'll be like, pass me the food. Delicious. you may stay number five on the list of the top six other

my insert word rules we need my nan rules again there'll be a lot of eating it'll be like on baking and stuff but it's also judged on other classic nan criteria like how warm her house is how nice your washing smells after she's done it It'll be like on baking and stuff. But it's also judged on other classic Nan criteria, like how warm her house is,

how nice your washing smells after she's done it. Oh, lovely. And how tightly the bed's made. Right. Are there minus points or do you get eliminated if Nan's racist in an episode? And calls you fat? Yeah. It's a trade-off, isn't it, for all the biscuits and sweets?

There's got to be a downside. Why do you think I'm fat, Nana? Yeah. It's a trade-off, isn't it, for all the biscuits and sweets? There's got to be a downside. Why do you think I'm fat, Nana? Yeah. Stop giving me so many slices. Number four on the list today of the other My Insert Word Rules shows we need, My Adult Colouring In Rules. Oh, okay. I don't think we – no one ever really capitalised enough on that adult colouring in buzz.

Yeah, it kind of came and then... Yeah, everyone was doing it. And then people would put up photos and they'd be like, zen moment, and then nothing else would happen. Producer Caitlin was doing it for a while, but she's kind of gone off the boil. Are you still adult colouring in, Caitlin? Still doing that? I probably should.

Because I feel like it would really relax me more, but nah. I keep leaving the lids off the pens. Oh my god. Colouring with felt. Yeah, so I had, yeah, like I bought special pens. I spent all this money on them. Would you go around the outside with the pen and colour on the inside

with the pencil? Yeah, yeah. I was like really bougie. I haven't bought coloured pencils for that, but they've barely been used. Because I'd started colouring in and then you'd turn on a Netflix show to keep you entertained while you're colouring in, but then you just stop colouring in

and you end up just watching Netflix. Yeah. I got sent some nice felts. They were for my daughters, but like nice felts. Yeah. Like the one above Favour Castell. Oh, what's that?

I can't remember the name, but they were bougie. Very fine tips, but I haven't let them open them yet. They've been in my drawer for ages. They just ruin them. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing. They don't deserve nice things. They've got to learn to take care of their felts before they get the good felts.

Number three on the list of the top six my other thing rules we need here, we need on TV, is the my family secret recipe rules. Oh, yeah. If everyone's got like you could enter your Ray Ray's chicken casserole. Yeah. That'd be pretty good. But you only get like one shot, I suppose. Yeah.

Because you couldn't come back and do it again, unless you had multiple family suppose. Yeah. Because he couldn't come back and do again unless he had multiple family recipes. True. Number two on the list of the top six other My Insert Word Rules shows we need here. My Kid Rules.

If you're so sure that your kid's the best, put them on national television and we'll all be the judge of that. Everyone would enter. Every parent's like, my kid's the best. So advanced.

Yeah. So beautiful. Seeing the kid crumble but then when the kid didn't do well, you weren't allowed to see the kid's face. You had to focus on the parents. Yeah. What a day of reckoning. And number one on the list of the top six other my, insert word, rules we need.

My past rules. If you think you've led a spot free existence, open yourself up to private investigators. This is good we'll have a real dig through and see exactly how squeaky clean you are

brilliant that's just called becoming a politician isn't it yeah pretty much effectively yeah they'll find anything but imagine Joe Public

someone who's claimed that they're you know spotless and a good human and then we all love a downfall don't we yeah we do

we're Kiwis we love a downfall, don't we? Yeah, we do. We're Kiwis. We love a downfall. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You probably heard yesterday that there was a whoopsie-daisy on the Flybuys website. You could redeem for 805 Flybuys points. You could cash those in and get yourself an iPhone 11.

Now, this wasn't just the bottom iPhone 11. This was an iPhone 11 Pro Max. So that's worth a lot of money. Over two grand. So it was a mistake. The price was a mistake. But you had to pay some cash as well. No, that was just for the points.

But if you wanted to pay 50 points, then you could top it up with $140. Right. Yeah. So how, because I've never used, you do flybys, eh? How long would 800 points take you to get? A while. A long time. Is that a lot?

It depends where you, because we put our mortgage through, one part of our mortgage is on flybys. So you tick up, that ticks up quite quickly. But otherwise it's... But normally it wouldn't be $800. Would it be like $2,000 or something? To buy the phone? Yeah.

No, it'd be something more like $7,000. Oh, right. So it was an absolute mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ellipsis. They've done this. This is the second time it's happened recently. There was like an iPad. Remember the iPad? Yeah, because I remember we talked about that. Yeah, $, yeah. A whoopsie. They've done this. This is the second time it's happened recently. There was like an iPad.

Remember the iPad? Yeah, because I remember we talked about that. Yeah, $1 iPads, effectively. $1 and some flyby points, and you could have an iPad. So it's just a bit of a whoopsie. I'm imagining whoever's in charge of putting those prices on is going to be triple checked now. Or fired.

Well, you'd imagine they would alert from the first time. Might have been somebody different. What is the deal, though? All those people who redeemed it, because lots of people did. Oh, you'd imagine they would have learnt from the first time. Might have been somebody different. What is the deal though? All those people who redeemed it because lots of people did. Oh, you crashed your website, didn't it? They're offering them refunds. Oh. So they're not honouring the deal.

No, but there's a petition to say that people should have to honour it. Sorry, that Flyby should have to honour it. People are all signing to say that they should have to honour it. And some other people claiming it was like a publicity stunt to get everybody talking about it and get everyone going to their website. Yeah, it's a bit fishy. They had the iPad thing a week ago, didn't they?

It does make me want to get flybys. The thing about publicity stunts is that you don't make yourself look bad generally. Yeah. In publicity stunts, you don't make yourself does it really make them look bad it just looks like a mistake an honest mistake yeah they're saying no publicity's bad publicity or whatever i hear that but then any publicity is good publicity oh yeah yeah so similar so i'm at change.org the petition has uh 1500 signatures oh that's not enough not enough

is it that's not gonna do it not and again yeah in That's not going to do it. And again, yeah, in the bio, they're calling out it's a bit of a stunt. But so, yeah, the reason it went nuts is the mistake was made. One person noticed

that put it on Facebook community groups. Ah, right. And they never cashed in. Yeah, started doing the rounds and everybody wanted it in. So they rushed in to get their cheap iPhone

and well, now they're not getting them. That's on the first person because maybe if it was one person they might honour it but then you told everyone. So it's still a you. They should have done it and got it and walked away. Stay quiet. Yeah. Told one person. Tell anyone. Yeah.

Tell your best friend and then leave it. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello. Welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's first go to the Purnbur. Purnbur, where's that? That's the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton,

where Ariana is asking, is anybody in North Beach not scared of spiders and want $5? I need you to come and put a vacuum bag in my vacuum that is outside and most likely

has a large spider in it that I sucked up and is still alive. But it's in the bag. You'll be fine. No, but she needs to change the bag, right? She needs to get the bag out, right?

I'm not going in there. I feel like it's crawling back up the tube. Oh, I've got goosebumps. I feel like this is something you'd do, Megan. 100%. You just leave it outside and wait until Mr. Toyboy got home. Yeah, I'll just leave it there forever. Burn it.

Throw it out. Burn the vacuum. If you feel the need to make a stupid comment, please just shush. That's good pre-empting the mockery there. Pre-empting with a little bit of... New Zealand, I'm fine with that, but see, if I was in Australia, I'd probably burn the vacuum cleaner, throw it out. Oh, my God.

If you're in Australia, it would have blocked your vacuum. Some of those hunks. By the time you left it outside, there'd be a snake in there, too. Oh, a snake goes up the tube. Don't you see a snake wearing around your Dyson? Oh, My God. Just leave the house and never come back. I'd never vacuum again.

This one, this next one, we go to the Hawke's Bay. This is Napier News page. Hamish writes, and you may have seen this when doing the rounds, are these anybody's dogs? They've been having a root and now they're stuck together. Down Nuffield Ave. Doesn't that happen? Yeah, they get locked in.

They get stuck. They get locked. So it's this dog. I remember watching this thing about wolves. See, look at these, the dogs. They're stuck together. Stuck back. Okay.

Look what they've got. Well, they hunt. They do it doggy style, which is named after the dog's style of fornicating. But then afterwards, when it happens, the dog's penis expands and sort of like gaff-hawks them, sticks them together so that no other dogs can come and impregnate it. It's like a fishing hook. It's to ensure that that dog's goodies, his genetic material, impregnates the other, the female dog.

Bloody Sir David Attenborough over here with that eloquent description. Sometimes the release doesn't happen, right? It takes a while because it is and it's meant to lock them in so that nobody else can get in until it's all done. It's like when the space station docks. Yes. With the capsule docks of the space station docks. Yes. Yes. With the capsule docks of the space station, you can't have any air getting out.

There's a race to get to the space station, and the Russians dock, and then they're like, well, we can't leave until all of our Russians are in the space station. Right. And then give them a chance to set up before we let the Americans come and get them. Let them get all the good beds before the Americans dock. Right.

Or the Japanese or whomever else is at the International Space Station. Right. And that's what the dogs do. It's a brilliant analogy. Yeah. Thank you. So how do they get them apart? Just time.

You just wait. Thank God. Imagine that. Give them some time. Yeah. Does that happen to humans? It's not great. Next up.

Especially if you call them an Uber. Can you set a delay on Uber? I need it in How long do you reckon this is going to take? Well last time it was 15 minutes I might set it at 20 just to be safe But if it all comes unlocked at 15 Just scoot down and be ready okay?

Alright Let's do this. Next up from the Christchurch pages comes somebody asking if anybody will be voting for Tubby Hanson. Okay. Tubby Hanson for the Canterbury District Health Board. Okay. Tubby's running, and apparently Tubby runs every time there's local elections. Okay.

He says there's no such thing as schizophrenia. This is in his bio. In 1989, the American woman and New Zealand team bugged a man's house. They bugged the jug and the radio and the fan heater, and they started to nag him if these were turned off. It was difficult to pull apart a good working jug, and if the radio was turned to another station, it would take 17 seconds exactly for them to retune to their station of choice.

The fan heater was stripped down and had two overheating diodes, one of which talked in a high-pitched voice. If you put your fingers around the diode, it'd stop talking. He'd turn on his tape recorder when he went out, and the police would not listen to the tapes. Something must be done about thrush and chlamydia. This is exactly who I want

running my local health board. Did that make sense? No Megan, it didn't. It didn't. Okay. Did you think

you'd had a stroke or something? Yeah, I was like, what's happening? I'm not following this story at all. But as democracy stands,

anyone's allowed to put their hand up for elections. How does he feel about fluoride in the water and 5G? He didn't even get to that. That's the end of his thing. Something must be done about thrush. He's not wrong there.

Thrush. I don't know. What can be done about thrush? Some penicillin afterwards. Right after the fact. Some cream. Let's pop back up to Auckland, to Te Atatu Peninsula. My old neighbourhood, my old stomping ground, where somebody said, hi guys, this is from Sunday morning.

Did anybody hear the salami warning today? I had a salami warning at my house. Because you put up the salami. I had no idea what this meant until I worked out it happened about the same time as you had the tsunami warning. Right. And because you're... They test it after daylight saving. Yeah, to make sure it still works.

Did anyone hear the salami warning today? I got the text, but did you hear the siren? It's the smell that I give away. A good salami warning. It's peppery. Yeah, yeah. good salami warning. It's peppery. Yeah, yeah. Deliciously. Yeah.

Deliciously peppery. And finally, for community notices today, and this is an absolute classic, somebody said, from Parklands Community Eastern Christchurch, has a drone fallen in your backyard? My husband pulled it straight out of the box and decided to take it for a spin

before reading the manual on the controls or fully charging the battery. It went super high and far over the fence which was funny until it dropped and we don't know where the hell it went. Hoping it didn't cause anyone some damage, please let us know if you've found said drone. Those are today's community notices

and always be aware of the salami warning. Yep. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FVMZM on Facebook. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's a stat from the new census data

that 12% of people who are employed in New Zealand work from home. Hmm. And apparently up to 65% of people could work at home. I thought it would have been higher. Yeah, I really would have thought it would have been higher than 12%. But that means works from home every day, right? That doesn't include people that occasionally can work from home if they want to.

They might do like a day or half a day at home. Yeah, a day at the office. Because to me, everyone I've known that's like working from home, they're always like, I'm not really. They're sl to me, everyone I've known that's like working from home, they're always like, I'm not really. Yeah. Like they're slacking off and I would too.

Because you're at home, you get distracted. Netflix. Other things. Biscuits. Biscuits, very distracting. Of course,

if you're going to eat a biscuit, it's literally impossible to do anything else apart from eat that biscuit. But you know, you're at work, you might not have your biscuits or the pantry or you just work from home, you go and open up the fridge and look at it and then shut you know, you're at work, you might not have your biscuits. Or the pantry.

Or you just work from home, you go and open up the fridge and look at it and then shut it again. But then at work there's the distraction of just chit-chatting. That's so distracting. Are you always, because something might have magically appeared in there since you opened it five minutes ago. Oh, I was hoping some cheese would appear. It hasn't. Did the cheese not just appear? What the hell's going on here?

But then you think about distractions at work. If you get on really well with your workmates, there could be chats. Yeah, true. Or someone brings in a French bulldog. Yeah. You know, that'll lose me to half an hour of photos. Distracting.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'll have to Google what a poor investment that was dog-wise because of your upcoming vet bills. Yeah. But Figures New Zealand said that 61% of Aucklanders have the ability to work from home and would like to do so more often.

Right. The biggest barrier stopping them apparently was face-to-face meetings. There was a lot of importance put on face-to-face meetings. 100%, right? Skype in for a meeting. We've got the technology to have a face-to-face meeting over computer screens.

Because a lot of workplaces are getting quite flexible with that because they want you to enjoy your job and stuff, not get stressed out at work. There should be a thing to overcome this face-to-face meeting, people. So you put on a glove and then you open up Skype and you're like, hey, good to see you. And you put your hand out and you grip in the glove and then that transfers your grip to their glove and vice versa. so it's like a virtual handshake all right okay it's creepy

that would be used for some creepy purposes instantly i've just thought oh my god i didn't even think about that straight away they're gonna shake your hand they're like they're gonna shake your hand you're like Is this glove malfunctioning? You're like Sorry Sorry I'm holding a banana Can you just Okay

Yeah Again this is why People work from home Too distracted Yeah So apparently 29% of people said Their company didn't allow it

Didn't Oh okay right Didn't offer it as an option And then there's internet speed And no space at home For official workplace Right For a work office and stuff. Okay. So I would have thought that stat would have been higher than 12% of people

working at home. But this morning, and you can remain anonymous. We obviously don't want you to, you know. Incriminate yourself. Incriminate yourself. Get in trouble. And have your working at home license revoked. Yeah.

But what are you actually doing at home when you say you're working at home? Because we don't get to work at home. No. If I work at home, I actually have to work at home. Yeah, like we do work at home in the afternoons. Yeah. We do a bit of work. Yeah.

But it's very hard because you get distracted. Again, you get distracted by the cheese that might be in the fridge. We should all do the show from our own houses one day. Is that possible? Just dial in. Yeah. We should all do the show from our own houses one day. Is that possible? Just dial in. Yeah. Not on my rural broadband, Megan. I would literally get her to just phone in.

What's on the phone? But I'd also get to the sweet cell phone reception in the house and I'd have to do the whole show holding my phone up. Yeah. So you could hear me. All right. Oh, 800 dials at him. You can text him as well.

9696. What are you actually doing at home? When you're saying you're working from home. So latest census say that 12% of New Zealanders work from home, which is quite low. We want to know from you if you do work from home, but what are you actually doing? Because let's be honest, are people actually working at home?

Definitely not 100% of the time. Everyone I know that's worked at home, it's are you actually doing? Because let's be honest, are people actually working at home? Definitely not 100% of the time. Everyone I know that's worked at home, it's just an excuse. Yeah. And it normally coincides with the latest Netflix show out on a Thursday or a Friday, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Going to take Thursday.

Going to take Thursday and Friday, work from home, really get stuck in, get some numbers crunched, and then it's a long weekend. So they got the Monday off, so they're off at the beach. Just going to say, yeah, I'm working from home on the Thursday and Friday before the long weekend. Yeah. Sure you are. I'll get heaps done.

Sure. So what are you doing when you're actually working from home? Steve? What am I doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, good morning. Good morning. You work from home.

Do you actually work at home? I probably do about three hours in the morning and then just play games in the afternoon. But do you get it done in three hours, Steve? Are you getting a day's work done? Yeah, pretty much. I'm an architect, so I pretty much just smash it out in three or four hours, whatever I need to draw, and then I just play games in the afternoon.

Do you actually get dressed every day? No. You could be doing architecturing in your undies. In your PJs. Do you actually get dressed every day? No. That's a dream. You could be doing architecturing in your undies. In your PJs. No, no, no. I've got the robe and the slippers.

I've got a little side office. The cat comes and joins me, sits on my lap, and we have a great time. That sounds brilliant, actually. Ideal. Sounds like how I want to do my job. Get it in with a cat in your lap and your robe. All right with me having a cat on my lap and robe. That would be fine. I've actually before.

I think I would add a certain something to the show. Thanks for your call, Steve. Natasha, do you actually do work at home when you're saying you're working from home? Yes, I do. Right. You don't slack off at all? No. No, I've got three days that I'm allowed to work at home a week,

and it's magic because I live about 45 minutes out from work, so I don't have to travel those days, and I can just smash out stuff in peace and quiet. I've got no interruptions, nobody asking me questions. It's amazing. Do you give yourself a wee sleep in or something at least? No, because I actually get to get my exercise in. I can get up, walk my dog without having to travel into work,

and then hit the computer, get some work done. The only problem is, Fletcher's right, I do smash through quite a lot more bickies on the day from at home. Yeah, see? The temptation of the bickies. The bicky jar. You're like, well done. Well done, Natasha.

You've done an hour's work, so you get two bickies. Yeah, thanks you, Natasha. Jaden, do you actually do work from home? Oh, I felt bad after hearing that person before me. I think Natasha's partly lying because her boss might be listening. Oh, my boss doesn't listen to the radio, so I'm safe. Okay, good. Well, usually it's some pretty mundane tasks.

So I'll have a sleep in, I'll get up, have a morning Milo, then I'll jump on my computer. Jaden, can we just stop there? What's your milk to Milo ratio? Half, half and half. Good, okay. Is there any water in there or is it just all milk and Milo? You don't water down to Milo.

Well, no, you've got to have hot water. Or you could just heat the milk in the microwave. Yeah, but then you get lumpy bits of milo. Yeah, and that's true.

Jaden might have a slight lactose intolerance that could really ruin his office environment for the day. This is definitely not what I do. I grew up on a farm.

So you have your milo, your morning milo. Yeah, yeah, so I have my morning milo. Then, so I have my morning Milo. Then I go jump on my computer, open up TeamViewer, remote in, and then I'll just send the computer to do a bunch of mundane tasks. Okay. Automated, okay.

Yeah, yeah. And then I'll send a blank screen command so that the screens go blank so no one can see what's happening. And then I'll close out blank screen command so that the screens go blank so no one can see what's happening. And then I'll close out of that and I'll just play some games and eat food. Yes, yes, yes. Living the dream, Jaden. Living the dream. And is there nobody else at your work that quite understands what you do?

Is that the essential part of this? Yep. That's the key. You've got to have a job that they've hired you for and then automate it but not tell anybody. You can just say I've been at home all day

working in the mainframe matrix-y thing. Yeah. And I'd believe that. Whatever that is. Brilliant. Yeah, HTTPS or something. You should turn on your screen

rather than blanket work. Have that falling matrix code. That'll really freak them out. No, I think someone would figure that out. Yeah, or just pipe screensaver. That's a classic. Oh, my God.

Or that Flying Stars one. Yeah. Jayden, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Oh, 90s computers. Working at home, hardly working. Somebody else said cleaning the house, decorating, or baking cakes, cupcakes, cuddling the cats on the couch

while watching Netflix and occasionally tapping a mouse so it looks like I'm active online. Oh, you're right. And that same person we called for comment, they said, can't chat, actually work in the office today, don't want to lose my job. Okay. So that's them. Our workplace does not trust us to work from home.

Our boss said, oh, if I was at home, I'd just muck around. So none of you are allowed to. He gets it, though. Even if you arrive to work 20 minutes early, you have to sit exactly till the end of your scheduled time, even if you've got all your work done. Oh, no, that's not cool. That's a waste of time, isn't it? Waste of time, yeah. You're just going to get people angry at you. They can head off 10 minutes early if they arrive 20 minutes early, and they still get all their work done. When I'm home working from home, I am working. My other job, mum, I get the washing done, get some baking done. Last week I even got yoga in.

And I'll catch up on some Netflix. Technically it's work. It's just not what I'm paid to do. Yeah, you're getting it all done, aren't you? Yeah. It doesn't matter. If you're getting your work done, does it really matter? No.

No. Get it done. All right, next on the work done, does it really matter? No. No. Get it done. All right, next on the show, there is a man running for council in Wellington. Uh-oh. No, somebody just messaged in. They work with Jaden, who was on the phone. Jaden, you know how Jaden was like, the boss doesn't listen to the radio? Yeah.

They said, I work with Jaden and I listen to the radio. He's just playing it up. He's playing it up. He's just joking. Or that person, they get it too. They probably get to work at home too don't they well no but they will be now because i'll make jayden automate their job too hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far and it's all thanks to spark our primary sponsor do you love free data then you will love the Spark data stack.

More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. There is a candidate running in Wellington because it's local body elections at the moment. That's why you're seeing all the billboards, the hoardings. Yes. And you can vote now as well. You would have had your voting papers by now. Did you dry out your voting papers in the panini press?

No, no, it wasn't the voting papers. It was the return envelope. My voting papers are okay because they were on top of the envelope that got moist. There was some run over. There's no problem. Is that okay? I don't need a problem. Can I drop them back somewhere?

Oh, look, I don't know, but just put the envelope in the panini press. I've told you. I can't put the envelope in the panini press. It'll dry it out. It's in tatters. It's in tatters. Anyway, there is a candidate who would like to be... Could you use a panini press to fold a t-shirt? I'd say so. I mean, yeah, it'd just take a while. Technically, it's a kitchen iron,

isn't it? It's a double-sided iron. It's a hinge iron. I use the hair straightener to iron clothes sometimes. There you go. That would take a long time. I know. There is a candidate in Wellington who would like females to be able to go topless at swimming pools. Oh, free the nip. Free the nip.

Now, this, you know, because you get the booklet with all what the candidates stand for. The booklet was sent out to more than 20,000 voters and it listed topless public swimming pools as one of the many ideas that this candidate has to improve life and the constituency. Well, men are already topless at public swimming pools. Exactly. And they go on to say that allowing female nipples to go uncovered in public

pools would help demystify the female body, which they say is often unfairly sexualised in a way male bodies are not. Yes, girl! The only problem with this is that Thomas Morgan, he's a bit of an old mate. He just wants to see the nips at the pool.

Oh, we don't know that he just wants to see nips. We don't know anything about Thomas. He might not even be into female nips. We don't know, do we? He sounds very progressive. And I'm all for this. But you're right, Megan. As it has been read out, I was imagining a very progressive female. You know, like a Greens female candidate or something.

Just trying to take the stigma away from the nipple. But Thomas, he'd love to see some nips at the swimming pool. Again, we don't know. I don't want to slam Thomas and I don't want to reverse my opinion on this just because it's coming from a male because that in itself if we thought it was a female and now because it's a male and we've changed our mind on it, that's sexism.

And we need allies, you know, for equal rights. And he says if New Zealand wants to maintain its reputation as a world leader on women's rights, it's the next logical step, said Barcelona's recently done that. I don't think it's the next. It feels like there's some steps been missed. It feels like we went straight from

like not quite pay equality to get your nungas out at the pools. It feels like there's steps and maybe I'm taking the wrong path. Maybe he's right. I'm not saying I'm right. I'm not saying

he's wrong. I'm just that didn't feel. I'm not saying he's wrong. I'm just, that didn't feel like, to me, didn't feel like the next logical step. Yeah, right. Now, we've also just had a message in from a councillor, Richard Hills, who I believe is in Caitlin's. Because are you going to vote Caitlin? Yes.

I might need to be sent another thing because I think I accidentally misplaced it. I've got to read the booklet. You don't need the envelope, Vaughan. He's saying you can just take it in somewhere. To the library. You don't need the envelope, Vaughan. He's saying you can just take it in somewhere. To the library. You don't need it. You take it into the library or the council.

Tell Richard I really like his billboards. He looks really good in those billboards. Because they're hand-painted? Because I've told you I'm not voting for anyone that's hand-painted. Okay, good. No, it's a great picture of him. His is printed using very hard to come by Middle Eastern herbs and spices?

The colour, the rich orange. Oh, really? Right, okay. The rich orange is cardamom. Right, okay. It is making, what are you talking about? The blue is the ink of a hard to come by horseshoe crab. Right.

Yeah, he takes a lot of pride. It's not hand painted. It's the horseshoe crab. Right. Yeah, he takes a lot of pride. It's not hand painted. It's the horseshoe crab you might be wondering it's milked directly into a printer. For the ink.

For the ink. And then very high end. Very high end. Okay, very fancy. Very luxurious. What are you even talking about? I don't know.

Okay. I'm just upset we're not going to get to use the panini press to dry out a wet envelope. We can if you want. I just don't think it's going to work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

The other day, as a family, we went to get a birthday present and a birthday card for a party the girls were going to from the warehouse. Okay. And when we were there, I saw that Red Rack thing. Oh, yep, yep. This is in no way a there, I saw that Red Rack thing. Oh, yep, yep. This is in no way a paid endorsement for the Red Rack thing. I just thought I'd give some context as to how I came to be in the situation that you'll hear about coming up.

Sure. Hashtag not spawn. Hashtag not spawn. Hashtag not gifted. Hashtag paid in full. Yeah. So whenever I'm there, I kind of like just have a quick look because it ticks all of my boxes.

It's cheap. And that's all my boxes ticked. So I had blown a crotch out of a pair of gym shorts recently. Classic you. Yeah. We've talked about your acidic gooch on previous shows. Yeah, these have done some hard yards. Okay.

So that's seen some things. More so than your jeans. Like, they've really got it tough. Well, people at your gym had. Okay. So they've seen some things. More so than your jeans. Like, they've really got it tough. Yeah. Well, people at your gym had seen some things. They've seen some things. Hey. Unbeknownst to me, until I felt the breeze.

Yeah. So I was like, well, I'll get this new pair of gym shorts. They were like 20 bucks. I'm like, that's great. That's good stuff. So I got that and I went through the South Slip checkout. Okay. And thought nothing of it.

And then yesterday I was going to go to the gym on the way home from work and I put the shorts on and I found something bang against my leg. Yeah. And it wasn't my penis. Just because people probably thought I was trying to. No one thought that. Yeah, I'm glad. No one thought that.

Everyone knew it wasn't your penis. That doesn't touch the legs. Yeah. It's average sizes. It's the massive balls that are the problem. Oh, my God. Stop. Stop.

What did you just say? Why? Yuck in my head. Yuck in my head. Get up, get up, get up, get up. Anyway, it's the security tag. Yes. On the shorts.

Oh, my God. It wasn't even. It wasn't. Gosh. Because I saw this on your story. That's the grey. It's the classic grey one. It's the beep, beep, beep, beep, beep one.

Not the pull it apart, ink goes everywhere one. Yeah. Right. Which I would have actually preferred the ink because they were black. So the ink would have gone everywhere and I would have washed it and then who cares? No but it stays on your fingers for weeks so people know you're a shoplifter. No I look like a shoplifter. That's not good then.

I wish it was that one now. So I did the I did gym stuff with the tag on. Okay. Which was a bit weird and I saw a couple of people look. Yeah, so you still looked like a shoplifter. So I popped an earphone out and I was like, self-service? Popped an earphone back in.

But it's weird, it was self-service but it didn't beep, beep, beep, beep, beep on the way out. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's weird. Had you wrapped it in tinfoil? No. I don't know if. That's weird. Had you wrapped it in tinfoil? No. I don't know if that's a thing. But anyway.

Someone just told me that's a thing once. I'm like, I don't know if it is. I don't know if that is. So you have to take a roll in with you and just. That'll be very obvious too because that's shiny. Yeah. I know. So I started getting messages from people because I put a photo up.

People saying all you need is a strong magnet. Oh, okay. So I thought there might be, you know those things on treadmills when you fall off and it pulls the magnet, it stops the treadmill. Yeah. But our gym doesn't have that. Do you have a complimentary real estate calendar on your fridge? Not strong enough.

It needs to be strong. Those things can't even hold up 12 months with the bloody dates and paper. No, yeah. It's not going to be strong enough. So I got home and I was like, I don't know if we do have a strong magnet. So I put it in a

vice and I tightened the vice to try to, I thought it might just pop open. But you know, I must give credit where credit's due, did not. Well they're designed so that you can't easily get them off and steal them. But a big vice. I was cranking this vice.

I thought it just would have been like pop and fell to bits. Yeah, right. So I got the angle grinder out. This is when you jumped on grinder. This is when I jumped on the grinder, the yellow grinder, and took the top off. Yeah. Still locked. Oh, my God.

Took the side off. Yeah. Still locked. Flipped it over. Took the other side Yeah. Still locked. Oh my god. Took the side off. Yeah. Still locked. Flipped it over. Took the other side off. Still locked. I literally took the top off and the four sides and it was still locked. Wow. But I think maybe when I initially took the top off

that might have like secured the lock rather than released the lock. Right. Okay. So I ended up having to go down through the middle very slowly, very carefully. And then it released and it fell to bits. And is there a hole in your shorts? Yes, there is. Yes.

Right. You could have taken it back to the store. I don't know if I kept the receipt. Oh, because then you would have looked like, yeah, I definitely bought these. I lost the receipt. Yeah. Yeah. But then I would have, you know, used my white privilege to be like,

come on. Take it off. Come on. Yeah, right. But yeah, it's just a little hole in it now. Still. Still works. Still works.

The shorts will work. It's not like in a crotch area. Right. Okay. Which was the problem that led me to buy the new shorts in the first place. So you've just brought a new pair of shorts

with a hole in it. With another hole but a different area. The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup. On his team, the Adams. Oh, beautiful connection.

Long black celebrating already. Sports talk. That's where we talk about sports. Marty's face when he's hearing the commentary of all these other sports is like, what's happening? It's from 1995, that first one. Yeah, it's classic. It's got to be well known.

We know our classic sports here, don't we, at Sports Talk? Yeah, definitely. Joined in studio by our Lockie Ferguson and Marty Guptill from the Black Caps. Good morning, gents. Morning, Tate. Morning, morning. Your birthday yesterday, Marty. How did you celebrate that?

By having a very, very busy day. Right. I had training in the morning and I had a review with New Zealand Cricket and then we had a promo in the afternoon. So it was pretty non-stop. On your birthday you had a review. Did they say no? Got a haircut though.

Got a haircut. What's that? Got a haircut, didn't you? Oh yeah. So did you. Yeah. You got a mo trim as well. I was going to say, this moustache has been trimmed right back.

Yeah, just sped it up a little bit. Yeah, just sped it up a little bit. It's a great moustache. It's a lovely little moustache. Thanks, guys. Yeah, it's been trimmed back. Do you ever worry when you've got a great, like it's a great moustache now, but when you look back maybe in years to come,

it highlights like we look back now at the All Blacks in like the 80s or something, you'd be like, God, they had big moustaches then, didn't they? Lose a lot of sleep over that, yeah, for sure. But that's okay. I'll let future Lockie look after that, yeah. You can deal with that mess. You can deal with that mess. So it's one month today until England

are here for the first T20 in Christchurch. Very impressive you remember that, Vaughn. Thanks. Reading off your computer? It's all right here. And obviously, I don't want to mention the World Cup,

but obviously there's a bit of payback. You can mention that. Yeah, yeah. Payback, I guess in a way, but look, it's another series and just another chance

for us to get out in front of our home crowd and put on a good show for them. You guys have had a little bit of a break from Blackcaps cricket. There's been other cricket going on around the world, but have England literally just been playing cricket pretty much non-stop since the World Cup? Pretty much, yeah.

I think they had maybe two weeks after the final to get ready for the Ashes and then basically that was on for six and a half weeks. It goes for so long, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Five tests. Would you say too long? Are you allowed to say too long? Five tests is tough

and they got sort of a week break in between a couple of games and things like that. So they'll be tired when they get here. Hopefully. Good word. How long do they have in New Zealand before we start playing? Probably a week, I don't know

When they turn up Maybe two weeks Yeah I don't know They need to land And start playing the next day Yeah So they're tired We're all there

Can you New Zealand Help us out Yeah Let's delay their flights That Bali volcano Is probably due to erupt Yeah Fly that way

Have a bit of a delay So I mean Apart from The World Cup to avenge, what's inspiring the team for this? Because it's the first cricket of the season, I suppose, for the Blackcaps at home. Yeah, it's just cool to be back home playing again. We all love playing against anyone who comes out here at home

in front of our home crowds and we just want to go out there and put on a good show for the crowds. And who else is coming this summer because it's busy? Then you go to Aussie as well? Yeah, the boys go to Aussie for three tests. We've got the Boxing Day test in Melbourne and the New Year's test in Sydney and then India come here for two tests,

five T20s and three ODIs and then we go to Aussie to play three ODIs and then they come here to play three T20s and three ODIs. We go to Aussie to play three ODIs and then they come here to play three T20s to finish off. Crack it. Megan's just tired listening to that. Have you guys got sunscreen? One of those big bottles of sunscreen.

Have you seen the colour of my skin? You've got a long summer ahead of you. I hope you've bought one of those big family sized sunscreens get a good bit of coverage make sure you get the old paint roller and just get the guys

to go out yeah definitely alright well tickets are on sale now we're a month away from that first T20 against England in Christchurch

check it out Black Caps Online Lockie Ferguson Marty Gabdell thank thank you so much. Cheers. Thanks very much. Cheers. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Yesterday afternoon. Okay. I went to get some dinner. To get dinner ingredients. Okay. To make dinner. What were you having? Salmon.

Love salmon. I said to my wife last night if there was one meat I could live on for the rest of my life, I would probably choose salmon. No. Are you crazy? You get over salmon? Nah, not me. I love a bit of salmon.

You do. Love a bit of salmon. But you love red meat. I know, but it's as close to red meat as fish gets. What about chicken? It's so versatile. Yeah, but then I'd really miss salmon. Yeah, but then if you had salmon, you'd really miss everything else.

Oh, this is a real conundrum. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. What did you have with it? I'm just really intrigued. Just like a coleslaw-y situation. Right, okay.

A supermarket coleslaw. With your bougie salmon? No, it's not like a pottle. Like, you buy that in the bag. Yeah. And it's just like all the stuff. But then it doesn't... This one didn't come with a sauce. You made your own.

That's acceptable. I just don't trust supermarket coleslaws. Why don't you trust their coles? Oh, no. Coleslaws. Coleslaw. Coleslaws. Not coldsaws.

You know what I'm trying to say. No, you don't. That's what happens if someone's been licking the spoon before they dish them up your cold sore. Cold sore. It's cold sore. You might have a cold sore from your cold sore. Okay.

So, yeah, I was going in to buy salmon. And it's what happened on the way in. When I got out of the car, I was just not, I wasn't dressed up. Yeah. Well, you never are. You don't need to stipulate. No, no, no. I wasn't even in. Yeah. Well, you never are. You don't need to stipulate. No, no, no. I wasn't even in like this nicer clothes.

I was in like really dirty jeans. You only need to tell us when you were dressed up. Yeah. This is mid. Okay, this is mid presentable. Okay. It gets worse, surprisingly. I can't dress worse than this.

So it's like old dirty jeans and like an old top. There was some work going about and I had a swan dry on and my old hat. But I'm just in a hurry. I'm wearing gumboots too. So I'm in a hurry. I just want to get that salmon and get home. Get cooking that delicious salmon. And so on the way in, when I get out of the car,

I can see these teenagers looking me up and down. Yeah. And as I get closer, one's like, go, and the other walks over to me. Yeah. I'm like, what's going on here? What the bloody hell's going on here? I didn't say that. I just get walking and they were like, hey.

And I was like, g'day. And I tried to be like, cool, but also like stern because I was a little bit scared. Yeah, I was about to say, were you scared? I was a little bit. You would have been like, yeah. I was a little bit intimidated. Were they intimidating teenagers? No more so than anybody else.

Okay, right. They were just talking to them. But you don't know if they've got a knife, do you? You don't know what they've got. And they've got their rap music. Yeah, oh, so much rap music. And their knife. And unwarranted cars.

Oh, my God. They're terrifying. Devil may care attitude. Do you have full insurance? Or just third party? So it was just, hey, and I was like, hey, trying to play it cool but also tough because I'm not to be messed with.

And they're like, you going into the supermarket? I was like, yeah, to get some salmon. Don't know why I chucked that information at them. Right, yeah. Just to get some salmon. And they're like, oh, yeah? Do you reckon you can buy some beers while you're in there? And I was like, oh, school holidays.

And they're getting their Monday buzz on. Yeah, right. And I wanted to help them. Yeah. But it's illegal. So I didn't. And I thought it might have been one of those, like, stings. I think everything's a sting.

Me too. That's how I live my life. That's probably why I haven't been arrested is I think everything's a sting. I saw $2 on the footpath the other day and I was so sketchy about even stealing that. Because I was like, where's the hidden camera? Yeah, someone super glued it down and then you're like, a joke?

Yeah, on the internet, everywhere online. It's like, it's just not worth it these days. It's so cynical. The world, that's the saddest part about the world is everybody's turned into a cynic or you're the fool. Yeah. You're the cynic or the fool. Yeah.

So I said, oh, um, nah. Oh, and they were like, oh, please. I was like, it's illegal. And they were like, yeah, I know. I know. Because we've all been there. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, have a good time anyway.

And they were like, probably not. Like it was my fault. What does it say about you that you were the guy they chose? I don't think I was the first. Because you looked homeless a little bit. I didn't look homeless. You looked like a deviant on their level. I didn't look like a deviant.

You were a swan flying gunboat. I just looked like an approachable cool dude. They're like, hey, fellow kids, where are we doing the skateboarding? Like, I obviously looked approachable. Yeah. But then, yeah, when I said no and they were like, oh, and I was like, it's illegal. And they're like, yeah, we know.

And then have a good time. Have a good night. And we'll try. Like, it was all heaped on me that they weren't going to get their buzz on. What about when you came out? Were they still lingering? I didn't see them when I came out. Oh, okay.

So maybe someone else had. Or they got chased get their buzz on. What about when you came out? Were they still lingering? I didn't see them when I came out. Oh, okay. So maybe someone else had... Or they got chased off with a broom. Hey, you bloody teenagers, you get out of here. Go home. Go home to your parents. It's dinner time. Scat it out all. Get out of here.

Or maybe they turned on that high-pitched noise. You just couldn't hear it. The anti-loitering device that I'm now too old to hear. Yeah. Everyone's like, oh. And I'm like, are you guys having a WhatsApp? What's happening? What are you clutching your ears'm like, are you guys having a WhatsApp? What are you clutching your ears for?

Why are you bleeding from the nose? What am I not hearing? Looking around. But I was asked to partake in an illegal activity. Someone asked me to break the law. And that's what I was wanting to field some calls on this morning. When did someone ask you to break the law? Maybe it was a small breaking of the law.

Well, I tell you what, if you've ever said to somebody, oh, would you like a tradie, would you be able to do that? And they're like, oh yeah, cash, I'll do it for a cashie. They've asked you to break the law. You've been implicated in a tax evasion scheme.

If you supply alcohol to a minor, a person of 17 years or younger with alcohol, if you are the parent or legal guardian, you're allowed to do that, I think, aren't you? But it must be done. Failure to do so is punishable by $2,000. $2,000. Yeah, I don't want a $2,000 fine.

No. So, I mean, when were you asked? Do you think anyone's ever been asked in their line of work? Yeah. 100%. Cheekily break the law? 100%. Because people don't, not everybody holds the law in the same regard. So someone might ask you to bend the rules, which would dip into being illegal.

Yeah, sure. Okay, well, 0800DANCEATM, 9696, you can text in as well. When has someone asked you to break the law? I really hope we get some juicy stories. Maybe not, because maybe we're all just a bunch of goody-two-shoes. Like you. You can still be asked, and you still give me a hand. You still say no.

Okay, give us a call. So yesterday, Vaughan, you were asked to buy alcohol for underages. Yeah. Well, I assume they were underages. Why else would they have bought it themselves? Unless they'd forgot their ID. Yeah. But they didn't even try that sales pitch.

That's a good sales pitch if you're trying to get someone to buy you alcohol. Well, I say you forgot your ID. Yeah. I'm that bloody. They just needed a mate. Like, we had a receding hairline at 17. Yeah, but that was, they weren't as strict on checking IDs back then either. Back in the day.

Back in the day. A drinking age used to be 20. Yeah. But they were pretty loose on checking. But now it's 18. It's hard. It's hard 18. You get asked if you look up to 25.

My dad got asked at Pack and Save. Brilliant. Only a couple of years ago. What? He was just like, started pissing himself laughing. He's got a gold card too. He would have a gold card at that stage. Yeah, he's just like, started pissing himself laughing. He's got a gold card too. He would have a gold card at that stage. I think she was new.

Right, she just needed to ask everyone. She just didn't want to ruin it on a Tuesday. So we want to know, when you've been asked to unknowingly break the law, when someone's asked you to break the law, we've got some good text messages and some good phone calls of people who have been asked to break the law. Hayley, we'll start with you. When were you asked?

I was asked when I used to work at the movies in high school. Oh, okay. And to have like R13 and R16 movies. And yeah, lots of 12-year-olds trying to get into R13 and lots of 14 and 15-year-olds trying to get into those R16 movies. And yeah, lots of 12-year-olds trying to get into R13 and lots of 14 and 15-year-olds trying to get into R16 movies. And they just thought we could just do it.

But I guess they didn't realize there was like tens of thousands of dollars worth of fines that not only I could get for selling it, but also the company. Yeah, right. Yeah. And I also did have parents Coming up to me Having a go at me To be like

Well, I'm in the movie with them And I was like Well, it's the law So you can have a go at me All you want I've always wondered What the punishment is For the cinema

If they let people on So you're saying It's like thousands of dollars Of fines Yeah, yeah So I think It's something crazy I think it's a bit like

The fine that you get If you sell alcohol Yeah Yeah Because the stores get done And they can be suspended Can't they If they're caught doing it something crazy. I think it's a bit like the fine that you get if you sell alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Because the stores get done and they can be suspended, can't they, if they're caught doing it?

That's alcohol, you know? Like, people could die. What's going to happen if you go see a movie that's a bit scary? You could be emotionally slimy. I mean, yeah,

it's just like people had a go at me and I was like, well, I didn't make the ratings. Like, I would let you in if, you know, I could. You're just following the rules. Yeah.

Yeah, I would have... I paid minimum wage just trying to do my job. Yeah, I would have said, pay minimum wage, just trying to do my job. Yeah, I would have just said, well, slip me a 20 and you can go in. Yeah.

But again, that's breaking the law, isn't it? Hey, thanks you, Kool Haley. Brett, when were you asked to break the law?

Hey, just recently, actually. Oh, okay. Really recently. Oh, fresh.

My good mate, her dad passed away. Yeah. And he passed away with a recent marriage and then the new mother's stolen his ashes and so they've asked me to break in to the mother-in-law's house and take the ashes. Wait, why have they

asked you to break in, Brett? Because I'm really imaginative and I really want to do an Ocean's Eleven thing about it. Make it cups, balloons and like which one's the real one and the real one's gone. Yeah, don't write the plans down. No it cups, saloons and like, which one's the real one and the real one's gone and, you know.

don't write the plans down. no, no, no. And then, it's probably already done, you know what I mean? Don't Google, don't call a radio session telling everybody

what you're going to do. And what your name is. It's already done. It's part of the Ocean's Eleven thing. It's already done. It's done. Oh,

you said it's going to happen but it's already done. Damn, this is Ocean's Eleven. Yeah, man man Done it Are you George Clooney Or Brad Pitt Or Matt Damon

Like which one of the I want to be George Clooney But definitely Matt Damon Yeah Okay That's good I just It's weird that you do that

For a friend Brett Like that is Do you know Oh no Because she's getting married as well And then I was a bridesmaid And then Now I'm the best man for doing it.

Yeah, but you could go to prison for up to 10 years. No, but she doesn't know because he replaced it with, oh, yeah, right. With a few different ones. Yeah, see what I mean? Just get out of the fireplace. Scoop out of the fireplace. Yeah. Brett, okay.

Ash. Ash. Ash is ash, I guess, yeah. Dad's got a couple of nails in him. Someone who's burning treated wood. Someone who's burning treated wood. Yeah. Tuna tin lid that didn't burn.

Because you chipped out of the fire. Melted plastic, even though you told the kids not to, but bloody plastic in the fire. Thanks, you called Brett. It's anonymous. Oh, yeah, okay. That was a fake name. No one's called Brett anymore.

Some other text messages in on when you were asked to break the law. I'm a policeman and I get asked to make exceptions for people breaking the law, thus asking me to break the law. Yeah, you can't do that. For speeding infringements. That happens all the time. Well, then I have asked someone to break the law and the police officer pulls you over and you're like,

please, sir. Did you actually grovel? In a hurry. Yeah, I remember when my car was going up a hill and I was like, I put my foot down to get up the hill and he was like, change down a gear. I was like, what? It's like a 1980 Barina.

Please. Please. Please. Somebody else said, I work in a liquor store in a university town. We get asked to break the law every single day. Every single day. They'll be like, oh, come on. I'm at university.

Yeah, but you're not 18 yet. Oh, come on. I deserve a drink. I'm here six months early. Every single day. They'll be like, oh, come on, I'm at university. Yeah, but you're not 18 yet. Oh, come on, I deserve a drink. I'm here six months early. I'm smart. Somebody else said, I got asked to buy beer for people once. Took their money, went inside, bought them a six-pack, even though they asked for a 12-pack, of Heineken 0%. Passed it to them on the way back out and kept walking,

got to the car and kept the change. Would that still be legal? Can you buy 0% alcohol if you're underage? I don't know. Non-alcoholic beer. Wasn't there a thing about someone trying to buy non-alcoholic wine and they got IDs? Yeah, they take your ID for that grape juice, sparkly grape juice,

which is stupid. Sparkly grape juice that they take. I thought this was the zero alcohol wine. No, it was in the news. It was sparkly grape juice, which is alcohol free. And they're like, ID. And they're like, but it's not alcoholic. And they're like, mmm.

Grape juice. Yeah. I don't know about that. Somebody works for a transport company, the dispatcher, and often get asked to ignore rules of transportation and take food in the same truck as dangerous chemicals, which is a huge no-no. No, because they'll pull over the truck in that little space with those little port-a-coms

that truck drivers always stop in. You see the police chatting to them. The roadside scales. Yeah. Is that what they are, scales? Yeah, because they've got a mobile, so they park on the concrete thing and then the gaps in the concrete, that's where they put the scales. And they weigh scales. Yeah, because they've got a mobile, so they park on the concrete thing and then the gaps in the concrete, that's where they put the scales. And they weigh them.

Yeah. They weigh them to make sure they're not overloaded. Right. Yeah, so lots of people have been asked to break the law. Well, it's been nice knowing you. See you in prison. Do you get radio in prison? I think so.

I don't know. You're smuggling it in, that's the hard part. It'd be hard to get a MIDI system up there. You won't be taking the boombox. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a man suing Pepsi. Okay. Pepsi, the drink.

This is from 1996. This story actually came about in my close friend's chat on WhatsApp. Really? Yesterday. Somebody mentioned that Pepsi once had the sixth largest navy in the world, and I said that was a fact of the day once. Do you remember that story? I remember this because Russia wanted a whole lot of Pepsi and they weren't allowed to trade.

Pepsi didn't want to be paid in rubles because the ruble was worth nothing so they got a whole lot of vodka to distribute and then that didn't add up to how much Pepsi they wanted so they gave them all this submarines and stuff and so for a few hours before they sold them on, Pepsi had and stuff And so for a while For a few hours Before they sold them on

Yeah Pepsi had the Sixth biggest navy in the world Incredible But then that got us Talking about A Pepsi Because one of our friends

Had never heard that story And he's like I remember when Pepsi That guy sued Pepsi For a Harrier jet So today's fact of the day Is in 1996 A man sued Pepsi For not giving him His Harrier jet Now Harrier jet. So today's fact of the day is in 1996, a man sued Pepsi for not giving him his Harrier jet.

Now, Harrier jets like... Fighter jets, aren't they? 1990, like Top Gun. Yep. Okay, right. I don't know if that's because that's probably not exactly a Harrier jet. There'll be jet people going, what's he talking about?

Oh, God, no. That was a something or the other. But that sort of real 1990s looking grey G.I. Joe jet. Right. That was a Tomcat. A Tomcat, right. I don't know if a Harrier jet's been in a movie or not, but in 1996, Pepsi ran a promotion

where you collected points off Pepsi labels. Right. And in the ad promoting it, it said, oh, you know, like for the 15 Pepsi points, you can get a t-shirt or like a hundred, you could get a hat. And then this guy's like walking, telling you what you can buy. And then a Harrier jet lands beside him and said, and this guy opens the lid, this teenager opens the lid and he's like, oh, for 7 million, you can have a Harrier jet. Okay. Now, a guy worked out, a 21-year-old worked out how much he would need,

how many Pepsis he would need to buy to get a Harrier jet. Okay. He worked out it was significantly less than what a Harrier jet cost. Like, wildly less than what a Harrier jet cost. Right. So he convinced five people that he would, if they invested in him, he would cash this in, get the Harrier jet, sell it, give them their money back and some profit, and he'd profit himself.

But where do you sell a Harrier jet? Like on Trade Me Motors? Trade Me Air? Just Trade Me General. Trade Me, this is before Trade Me. What's the success fee on that? So he sent 15 Pepsi labels and the check for $700,000 and saying, I await your reply and this is where you can deliver my Harrier jet to.

Right. And at which time Pepsi said, obviously it was just a joke. And he said, it's not. It's advertised. You said 7 million points would get me a Harrier jet and they were like, no, we were joking and he said, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

Brilliant. And what happened? And so he sued them and they countersued saying it was ridiculous. Yeah. In the end, he actually ran out of money because he had to give the people back their money. Right.

They didn't make any money because that must have been part of the deal he had with them if he didn't get the Harrier jet. Yeah. They didn't get any extra money. Yeah. And he ran out of money and it fizzled out. But in the closing case,

they said, the youth featured in this commercial is also a highly improbable Harrier jet pilot. One who could barely be trusted with the keys to his parents' car, much less the prize aircraft of the United States Marine Corps. Right.

So he didn't get anything. If it had the money to push on... He probably might have. He probably would have won a considerable amount. Why didn't a lawyer do that pro bono or for free or... On a win-only... On a win-only basis. Win-only case, don't know.

But they didn't renege on the price. The prize of being able to redeem a Harrier jet for points. They just made it 700 million points rather than 7 million points. Right, okay. So it was impossible. So you

could still do it, but you might as well just literally buy a Harrier jet for that price. So today's fact of the day is in 1996, a man sued Pepsi for a Harrier jet. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Harrier jets. We've had some text messages. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Harrier jets. We've had some text messages.

Those were those ones that were real cool because the engines would, they could take off vertically. Cool. They could go up and then take off forward. Amazing. Yeah, they were cool. No wonder he wanted one. Now I want one. Even then what, they deliver it and you've got no runway.

Why are you always thinking of the negatives yeah why are you always shitting on my Harrier dream jet that I just literally got two minutes ago because you don't have a runway not yet I've seen that one on West what's the biggest fine you can get for landing

on a military base in a non-authorised aircraft I can't imagine it's much more than a slap on the wrist of the best wet bus ticket What's the biggest fine you can get for landing on a military base in a non-authorised aircraft? I can't imagine. It's much more than a slap on the wrist of the best wet bus tugger. Well, especially if you turn up to court and act all cute. And my Top Gear outfit. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

I just want to thank everybody that texts me to just indicate my Harrier jet dream alive because literally we were talking about how it has vertical takeoff and then a minute later Fletch said, you can't have a Harrier jet, you don't have to get my Harrier jet dream alive because literally we were talking about how it has vertical takeoff and then a minute later Fletch said, you can't have a Harrier jet, you don't have a runway. But we literally just spent ages talking about how cool they were because they take off vertically. Even my dad was like, yeah, they lift up. Surely you still need one to land. No, it goes.

I'm going to watch some Harrier jet takeoff. So they go up and then. Aren't they called a jump jet? Yeah, jump jet So they go up and then... Aren't they called a jump jet? Yeah, jump jet. They go up. Yeah. But then even do the engines face down and then turn around.

You'd have to do it quick. Because you think about if you're going up and then you have to start moving forward. There's a lot of room to just be like, whoa! I think they've got it sorted. Oh, yeah, here's one here. It just literally came straight down and landed.

Oh, yes. That's me. That's me. That's me. Who needs a runway? That's me in the paddock. You've actually got enough paddock. I've got heaps enough paddock. Oh, okay, I'm on board then.

Because I'm like, watch out, Helen. Watch out, Helen. Get out of the way, sheep. Melania the Harrier. Oh, and you roast your goats. Harrier. And it could live in the paddock because it starts with an H. Yeah.

Harrier the Harrier. Okay, that's amazing. I thought you still needed to land with the right answer. Show me the takeoff though. No, we're still doing the show. The landing is one thing, but... This is not good for... Hang on, I was fast forwarding through the YouTube video.

There's nothing to hear. Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Okay, it's taking off, taking off. This is not what we were going to talk about here. It's taking off. Just wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. I don't just want...

Yeah, but we can't see it. Oh, no, no, no, just wait straight up. I can't even see that. Like, you only showed Vaughn. Oh, someone said Google the Harrier Jet jump set crash. Okay. At the loft. So air show on YouTube.

I was there when it happened. It was pretty legit. Thank you for the text messages, but I'm trying to get these two on task. That's why anyone goes to an air show. I mean, they love planes, but they want to see a crash. It's the main reason I don't go to an air show. Yeah, because you don't want to see that. I have nightmares about seeing planes crash.

And we're done with planes, okay? Yeah. Fletch? Well, I'd like to apologise for my previous statement. I would love you to have a Harrier Jet Vaughan. The dream continues. And you do not need a runway. Okay.

Great. Now, I wanted to tell you about... Oh, my God, you can actually literally land out here for work. Right out there. And it would be so much quicker. So, are we done? Yeah. Okay.

Good Lord. So, in Australia, I want to tell you that they have turned off likes for Facebook. You know how they've done it for Instagram? Oh, well now I'm not supporting it in the hair edge yet. I'm only doing it so I get likes. So, you will no longer be able to see likes from Friday. This happened last Friday, so over the weekend. And it's only Australia.

It's a test, a trial that's been rolled out across Australia. So no more likes, reactions. They took away reactions too. Why did they take away reactions? Have they rolled out the Instagram changes for the rest of the world? Because I thought it was interesting when I was overseas using Instagram, it went back to likes and it was weird. It was like, oh, now I can see likes on people's photos.

Yeah, it's all regional. And apparently if you logged on on a web browser, you can still see likes. So I'm just checking if you go onto the web browser, if you can still see. Oh, you can. You can, yeah. But if you're on the mobile app, you can't see Instagram likes in New Zealand and a few countries. But Facebook, not for New Zealand yet. No, it's only Australia.

Right, okay. So Australia's their trial area. They haven't said how long the trial's for, but it is. So likes, reactions, and video views. So only the poster will be able to get those insights. You'll still be able to see how many views and stuff you've got, but no one else will. They're just saying it'll stop you comparing yourself to everybody else.

Same thing as Instagram. There's got to be another reason why they don't care about us. Just putting on the cynical hat. Wait, I've heard I'm getting a Harrier jet. Everybody else is just going to be so lacklustre in comparison to my lacklustre jet takeoffs and landings. If you get a Harrier jet, you can't, like, text and fly? Megan, 100% I can do what I want.

I'm the Lord of the Skies now. Oh, my God. I'm just watching one do a vertical takeoff. He's got missiles on. We're still on the radio. Can you two both get off your laptop, please? I'm just trying to find out how much a Harrier jet is. Maybe not as...

Oh, yeah, now he's got some speed up. Maybe it's not as quick on the takeoff as I would have liked, but he gets up there quick. This is great, Michael. There's been quite a history in the last year of social media influencers outed for trying to get free stuff. A lot of hotel accommodation, you know, have been sharing the messages they've had from social media influencers.

Yeah. Where, you know, they're like, hey, I'll put it on my story or my Instagram. Yeah. You give me some goodies. Yes. For free. Well, a woman has been banned

from the airline Cathay Pacific for life. For life? She was kicked off a plane and has been banned for life. Jacqueline Na is her name. She claims, so she went to the airport to check in for her flight and handed them a letter. And it's, you know, it's got the letter here, Cathay Pacific on top. Yeah.

And it says, dear Miss Na, we appreciate you taking the time to write and share details about your upcoming trip from Hong Kong to New York City, and we understand that you're boarding the flight. If you show this letter to the staff, if there are any business class seats, they will upgrade you

because of your social media profile. You know, obviously in return for some social media. Yeah. Some posting on Instagram, et cetera. Well. Yeah, because Instagrammers hate putting pictures up of them on planes

unless you pay them. They won't do it. They won't do it. They won't be like, I'm going on a holiday. They just don't do that. Probably not an economy anyway. Well, so they, at check-in, were just like, what? This isn't a thing? She make it up. Yeah, well, she went

into check-in and the staff member accused her of trying to get an upgrade with a fake email they then cancelled her ticket citing fraud and banned her from ever flying the airline so she forked out for a seat and then has tried to get that reimbursed 1400 US dollars I don't know if it was a last

minute economy or a business it's got a lot of money it must have been a business class and Cafe Pacific have confirmed the email was fraudulent and that the only way they could review the case is if she could provide the embedded information of the email so they could trace it. But she couldn't. No, I don't believe so.

I don't believe so. So she made it herself. It looks like it. It looks like it. Uh-oh. So yeah, she's tried it on. It hasn't worked. And now she's banned from flying that airline.

I do think influencers get a bit of a bad rep, though, because everyone's always like they're asking for it for free, but they're not really. Like there's somewhat of a business transaction going on. It's not like they're not getting anything out of it. You have to make that agreement. You can't just fraudulently make a letter. Oh, no, 100%.

You can't just make up a letter. You have to come to that sort of agreement with the people in charge of that sort of thing.