ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 03 2019

Episode Date: October 2, 2019

Grant Nisbett is on the phone after the All Blacks game, This Is Why I'm Fat and how long have you left something in your car?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks Ash. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Thursday. Morena for your Thursday. Morena. Morena. You need a puffy jacket on this morning.

It's nippy. Nippy, but nippy this morning. It was single digits on my temperature gauge. It was single digits? Yeah. Where's your temperature gauge? In the car? was single digits on my temperature gauge. It was single digit? Yeah. Where's your temperature gauge? In the car? On my dashboard.

Do you always start with a single digit? The day? Wakes you up. I don't get that. Move into that. In all digits, it's a bit warm. It's too warm. Oh, yeah, right.

You want to be snapped into it. Start with a single. I don't know where the actual temperature gauge is in the car, though. Because that's always interested me. Yeah, I know, Mia-Man. Yeah, I don't know where the actual temperature gauge is in the car, though. Yeah, because that's always interested me. Yeah, I know, man. Yeah, where is it? Because, like, can you trust it? Because it could be next to the warm engine.

I'm pretty sure they would have thought of that. If it's outside of the car, as you drive along and it gets colder, it's going to have wind chill. Yeah, I've often thought that. Yep. Okay, where is a car thermostat located? In most cars, it's placed under a housing near the water pump on the cylinder head. The housing is connected.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're talking about the actual... That's the thing that tells you your engine temperature. Yeah, overheating. For dango. What would I Google? What's... Where's the thermometer?

Oh, that's what it is, eh? Where is the outside temperature measured from on a car? That's a good one. Yeah, okay. Where is the outside temperature measured from on a car? That's a good one. Yeah, okay. Where is the outside temperature? Gauge in a car? Yeah. Okay.

It's generally located, the outside temperature sensor is located under the front of the hood near the bottom of the car. You see, that would get wind chill, right? Okay, although the sensor itself is accurate, the location can cause the sensor to pick up heat off the road surface in summer. Right. So it may usually read degrees higher than air temperature in warmer conditions. You're like, it's 30 degrees outside.

People love to get in their car and they're like, it's 35. You're like, calm down, car. You're being dramatic. Calm down, car. You're drunk. But not me because it's driving. You're driving it. All right, coming up on the show, the top six smart cows today, Bourne.

Yeah, there's going to be a huge investment, Fletch, into smart cows. They're going to breed some genetically smart cows. These are cows that will cause less pollution. And fetch. Imagine if you were like, fetch. You can teach a cat to fetch. I don't think they're going to pour thousands of money in researching the cows that can fetch

when we've already got dogs. No, that's just a fun side note. Oh, right. Because you know how sometimes on the lawn your dog runs and it stops real suddenly and it makes a little bit of a mark on the lawn? Imagine if that was like a 500kg freezer. It was like...

Your whole lawn just goes was like, yeah, the whole lawn just goes. I want to talk about honeymoon registers soon. What did you do? Registries. What did you do? A honeymoon one. You asked for a honeymoon. Both times. And I'm just

trying to think of all the weddings I've been to lately. It's either been that or cash. Yeah, because most of the time, well, not, you know, like a lot of the time people live together, so they don't need household goods and stuff. Yeah, whereas back in the day they kind of did. Yeah. But there's been kind of...

Some people do. There's been some stats released about honeymoon registries. Yeah. And registries and what people prefer. Right. If you're holding a honeymoon. Okay. A wedding, rather. Because you do that first. If you're holding a honeymoon. Okay. A wedding, rather.

If you're holding a wedding? That's right. If you're having a wedding? It's just called a holiday, isn't it? If you're getting married. Yeah. Unless you're getting married. We've got Shape Shifter tickets up for grabs today as well.

We'll do that around 7.30 this morning. And we'll talk ruggers with Grant and Isbeth after 8 o'clock this morning. The All Blacks trouncing Canadia last night. Yeah, because I don't know is the voice of rugby actually voicing any rugby? No, well no. Or are we giving him his outlet? Yeah, basically, yeah. Maybe we'll ask him to re-commentate

his favourite play from last night. That won't be awkward at all. That'd be pretty good. Give him a little replay. Do you reckon he ever misses a game of ruggers? Oh, probably not. Shit. That's a lot of games

to watch though. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Story time. I will give Vaughn and Megan three news headlines and they will pick one story.

No choice in the matter. This is how it works. Headline one. Who knows? Best dad ever? how it works Headline one Best dad Best dad ever? Question mark Headline two Dos

Man splits Man splits Field sobriety test Or headline three Tres Sunday Are you learning Spanish At the moment?

I was just adding A bit more language A bit of flair A bit of flair Tried to yesterday With le petit femer And headline three Sunday sermons On the pole Sunday sermons on the pole.

Sunday sermons on the pole. Someone's a pole dancing clergyman, clergywoman. Not really. Not really. Firefighter? No. What else is a pole? Vaughan's is close.

Vaughan's is probably the closest. They had a pole dancer as the entertainment at the Sunday service? No. The space they rented out for their church doubled as a pole dancing class. Pole dancing studio. Very close. Very close. That's all I'm telling.

We kind of cracked that nut. Would it be fair to say, or is there more to it? Well, yeah. What was Onos? Best dad ever or man splits Sobriety Test? Best Dad Ever, I think. Best Dad Ever. Best Dad Ever.

Okay, well, we go to Lock and Adam for sure. Yeah. Okay, you just sounded a bit, you weren't sure, Megan? I'm Googling the poll, aren't I? She hummed hard. Oh, yeah, she's distracted. All right, we go to New York now, Manhattan, where a hedge funder worth $7.3 billion has spent $37 million over seven years

in annual gifts to Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Stanford, Yale, Columbia, and MIT to help his three kids have the best chance to get into a top school. $37 million. So he's worth $7.3 billion. At that point, you'd probably ask, why not just let your kids do whatever and just give them $37 million? Yeah, do they need to work? Do they need to try? Not really. Not really.

So yeah, he's got three kids. And you know, the scandal's going on at the moment with a lot of the celebrities. Paying off the schools. Paying off the schools to get their... Oh yeah, that's a massive deal. Yeah, this is why this is kind of coming to the news. He's not in trouble, but they've just uncovered the fact that, yeah, this one man has gifted to all these top schools $37 million. And some people saying, well,

maybe he's the best dad ever. Others are like, well, you don't, I don't know if this is really cynical, but you don't put that much money into something

without getting something back. Like, especially when you're a hedge fund manager. Yeah. You know, you know, well, you literally're a hedge fund manager. Yeah. You know, literally your job is investments. Yeah. Mmm, fishy.

Have any of them got in? How old are these kids? They are 23 and 21. Okay, so they should already be there then. And the youngest is in a prep school, so maybe that one's heading to one of those. Right. But does this kind of stuff happen here?

Or is it just America? It probably does happen here. Like, could you make a huge school donation to some school, and then all of a sudden your kid gets in? I don't know enough about the universities here. Like, does the University of Auckland have a building named after somebody that donated heaps of money? And then obviously, if you had the same name and that was your dad or granddad, you'd probably get in. Minimal questions asked. But what if they built the

Vaughan Smith wing? Yeah. And then like your kids in the August, they just didn't want to go to uni. That's the big thing. Because what if this guy's kids don't want a job that doesn't mean they have to go to Harvard or Yale? Or what if they want to, like, open a salon, for example? I'm sure Dad would pay the money. Yeah. And then they just hire a business expert rather than having to learn about the business.

So much money, eh? It's just mind-blowing. Like, you could give that $37 million to charity or something. Or build a hydro slide park. Yeah. Or build a hydro slide park. One, you know,

six and one half a dozen is the other thing. You've got the same thing. Helping people eat or giving people the joy of sliding down water. That's... It's a very important thing.

How much would a water slide park cost? $37 million? Would it cost more than that? Man, Ramo's Inn wouldn't cost that, would it? You could buy Ramo's Inn for... I don't know. Straight up, Ramo's N wouldn't cost that, would it? You could buy Ramo's N for... I don't know. Straight up, Ramo's N, how much?

Like, you put a figure down and we'll have a chat. Because roller coasters are, like, real expensive. Not once they're built. It's like a brand new car, mate. The minute you've had your first loop, right. Half the value's gone. Second-hand roller coasters is where the money's at. An average roller coaster costs from one to two million.

So you totally could. I'd imagine the design of them, because you know how there's like the same roller coaster that Rambo's in was at SeaWorld? Yep. And then, you know, multiple. I'd imagine you design it and then you sell that design. Yeah, right.

And so once you've designed it, it's money for jam. Yeah. Do you know, they've also told me how much a rollercoaster designer makes. They can expect to earn an average salary annually of $45,000 to $70,000 per year. Rollercoaster engineers. What kind of job is this? It's like, oh, we'll just put four loops here

and then go twist around and then another loop. We've played rollercoaster tycoon. Yeah. But it was one of the reasons, it's an interesting sounding job, it was one of the reasons it was my fake job on NZ Dating. Remember Karen and Steve? Yeah, that's right. The fake couple looking for a threesome.

That's a story for another time. Fleshforn and Megan and Megan The Podcast ZM Now, we're aware of wedding registries That's where ahead of your wedding You will set up a registry That's a bit old school Because most people probably live together Before they get married now

Yeah, you've already got a You can't wait to get married To get a bloody toaster Yeah, you've already got a toaster You'll be eating cold bread for months Years even So the old wedding registry was to a bloody toaster. Yeah, you've already got a toaster. You'll be eating cold bread for months. Years even. So the old wedding registry was to

kit out your new home, I guess. Yeah. And people, rather than buying you three of the same thing, you'd set up a registry that'd go in,

put some money in, get the gift, bring it on the day. Yeah. And then there's been a change and now it's just a lot of people

just do cash. I don't think I've ever, maybe one wedding that's had a registry in my whole life of going to weddings. It's mostly cash donations or in for the honeymoon, like yours, Megan. Which I reckon's better. Yeah. I think I went to a family wedding once where they had a registry and I asked after like how it went for them and they said it was like, they didn't really think about it.

They shouldn't have because they'd already had all the stuff. So they just had stuff that they already had and then they had all the old stuff that was actually fine. It just wasn't brand new. Yeah. And yeah,

so they said, yeah, they should have done the cash, the cash thing and then you can put that towards whatever you want. Also, Registry,

are they just marking everything up? I have wondered. If you're buying like household stuff, it's not going to be 50% off or where you can buy stuff at Briscoe's or any store on sale. Exactly. When you buy stuff, you buy it on sale, right? You wait until a special, you keep an eye out for something, and you end up buying it.

But on a registry, no, there's none of that. It's just going and tick it up. You're wasting your money, really. Retailers probably bloody love a registry. But the new registry is a honeymoon registry. That is where you plan out your honeymoon and people put money towards the different aspects of your honeymoon. Yeah, right.

Now, the problem being is that there's quite a difference between what the average honeymoon costs and what the average wedding rakes in from guests. Yeah, like when you go to the Maldives, Megan. Yeah. Because that place is known as being ridiculously cheap. Yeah. Isn't it?

Oh, so cheap. So cheap. The honeymoon registry didn't quite cover that. Right. But you don't, I didn't expect people, even if it was like, like recently, even if we went to the Goldie, I wouldn't expect it to cover all the costs that we were, you know, it says contribute to the honeymoon. It doesn't say cover all the costs of. Yeah.

So you're just hoping for as much as you can. Yeah. And then it goes towards the honeymoon, right? But what you were saying, what people are being disappointed it's not covering. Yeah. Well, there's all these sites that have popped up that specialize in it. And I guess it's that there's money to be made because they market it as like,

you could have your honeymoon and stay at Chrissy Teigen's favourite hotel. Okay. That's probably not. Yes, I want to stay with Chrissy Teigen's days and then you're like,

well, it's going to be great because everyone's going to chip in and cover it but they don't. You're just going to end up having a drink in the bar lobby, aren't you?

Yeah. And even then you'll be like, what? How much? Follow around housekeeping and then when they open the door just like quickly stick your head in, aren't you? Yeah. And even then you'd be like, what? How much? Follow around housekeeping. And then when they open the door, just like quickly stick your head in and have a look. Yeah. And then be like, okay, I can see why Chrissy Teigen likes this, but also Chrissy Teigen's

got way more money than me. So good on you, Chrissy Teigen. And then back to your average life. Right. So what are they saying that don't expect it to cover? If you are going to set one of these up, yeah, have a realistic expectation. It's not like when someone goes in and they're like, for the wedding registry, what's left on there?

And they say a blender and they, yeah, I'll get the whole blender. It's like they go, and what's left on the honeymoon registry? A night at Chrissy Teigen's favorite hotel. How much is that? Thousands of dollars. What else have you got? Nothing. You just put a little bit of money towards Chrissy Teigen's favourite hotel.

Put $100 towards Chrissy Teigen's favourite hotel. And then you've got to pay the rest of Chrissy Teigen's favourite hotel. So maybe they're not all cracked, you know. What is the saying? Maybe they're not all that cracked up. There you go. What does that saying mean? Not all they're cracked up to be. Because if it was. Not all they're cracked up. Cracked up. There you go. There you go. What does that saying mean? Not all they're cracked up to be.

Because if it was... Not all they're cracked... I don't know. I've just always said that, haven't I? I don't know what that means. And if something's cracked, it's bad, isn't it? Origins of phrase. But what does cracked up mean?

The idiom, not all it's cracked up to be, is derived from an archaic meaning of crack, which is to brag about something or praise something. This definition of crack was popular until the late 1700s, early 1800s. And we still say it now. So, like, talked up to be. So, it's not, yeah, it's not all it's, okay,

it's not all it's praised to be. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Jetstar is in the news again after a passenger has claimed that she was asked to keep her baby's dirty nappy under her seat. So, I mean, you can't control when your baby does this. No. So, this person took the baby to the bathroom, changed the nappy, looked around for a somewhere to put it, and apparently couldn't see a rubbish bin.

What about those, because the bins in the toilets are always those square flappy things, eh? Yeah, you can get a nappy through there. You can get a nappy through there. Piece of cake. Well, they couldn't see anywhere to put it and as they went out, they went back to their seat

and that's when the flight attendant came back and told everyone very loudly that you're not allowed to change your son's nappy on the plane and that you need to go and collect your nappy and keep it at your seat because it was very stinky. That makes no sense. But that's like going in and saying, who, bing bong, who just did a shit? Oh my God, it is disastrous in there.

Can someone please come and pick it out, please? Put it in a bag, take it back to their seat. Thank you. Like, yeah, it's in a bag, take it back to their safe. Thank you. Like, yeah, it's in the bin, baby. That's life. They have in the toilets, don't they,

the tables that come down. You're allowed to change your baby's nappy on a plane. Yeah. So this person decided to put the nappy in the corner of the toilet on the floor

because it was the best possible place they could see. Yep. So it wouldn't get stood on and to keep it contained in the bathroom. Yep. That makes sense if you can't see the toilet. Second of all,

she said at no point did the flight attendant say there is actually a rubbish bin in there you can just chuck it in there. That wasn't even addressed. But also they could have got a bag and taken it and chucked it in their rubbish bin. Like, where's the problem solving here? So she refused to take it back to her seat because she was like, well, that's going to be horrible for everyone around me.

You're going to smell it. Like, the toilet is the best place for it. As she left the plane at the end of the flight, she was like, hey, I can take that with me. And that's when the captain came out and said, just leave it there. I'm really sorry. I apologise for the flight attendant's behaviour and said that the redundancy fares was maybe the reason for their demeanour. Right.

Because they're not flying to the port out of regional flights. Was this on a regional flight? It was to Palmerston North, I believe. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, see, I'd be the same if I was about to lose my job in two months. I would not give a shit. We wouldn't take one either.

No. You'd ask people to take their own off the plane. You've got a dirty nappy. I'm not touching that. You're not touching that. You're nasty. I'm losing my job in two months. And your baby's not cute.

Yeah. You're just touching that. You're nasty. I'm losing my job in two months. And your baby's not cute. You're just going rogue now. You just want to be laid off for the two months it's done. Get your holidays in. Or you're going to go out

with a baggy man as well. Yeah, why not? You know what, on the last day I'd pull the slide as well. Oh. I always wanted to do that. Yeah.

Someone said that's a big buck of those. That's 20,000 bucks, isn't it? What, to wrap it all back up? What, to rattle it all back up? Yeah, to get it all repacked. Oh, really? And you probably get a criminal charge too.

I don't want one of those. You can never get them back in the packet once they're out and blown up. It's like a sleep bag. It's like an air bed. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. $10 million has been invested into breeding

smart cattle thanks to genetic editing. This has kind of been happening for a while. You take your best cows, you mix them with the best bulls, and then you get a better generation next time around, and so on and so forth. But that's primarily been...

The farming community will lap this up, won't they? It's generally been about milk production, but now apparently money from the Endeavour Fund will be used to help breed cattle better adapted to warmer temperatures and lower methane emissions. Less farts. Less farts. Oh, okay. Can you do that?

Less farts. I don't know, but give me a couple of those, genetic engineering. I think it's too late now. And then in the story... They say they're hoping to breed Holstein Frisian size that will be better able to cope with warmer temperatures. And then they've got a picture of this bull. This is a Taranaki bull. This is Amsbeard Brophy's Adios S2F.

Look at that bloody specimen. I don't know what any of this means. We need a size comparison because that looks monstrous. I think it is monstrous. Look at the shoulders on it. Oh, yeah, it's real muscly. It's like when your friend starts dating someone that plays rugby and their neck just merges, like their head just goes into their shoulders.

Yeah. Like no neck, no real neck to speak of. Well, she's a big unit, that's for sure. So the top six today deals with this smart cow. They're talking about the top six traits of this new smart cow. Okay. Number six, it will connect to the Wi-Fi with a squeeze of the udder. You know, there's that button on your router.

Is it WPS? Yeah, I don't know what any of those mean. The lights need to go. Yeah. Is it WPS? You push the button down and then you like click the button to connect and if they're both looking at that time, it gives each other the thumbs up so you don't need to put in the password.

I don't know. Yeah, on the PlayStation, it's like connect using WPS and I didn't even know what it was. Oh, okay. And then on the router, it had a little button that said WPS and I pressed that and it was it was and then on the router it had a little button that said WPS and I pressed that and it was just like hey buddy

it's like if you both swiped right on Tinder right at the same time this is a really weird analogy but okay sure

number five on the list of the top six traits of a smart cow it automatically connects to your car's bluetooth stereo but doesn't start playing the first song

alphabetically. That should be great. I know. Every time you plug your phone in our car. Africa. Africa is the first song. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six traits of a smart car,

built-in Freeview digital receiver. Great. Which is great because now you don't need the aerial on your house. You don't need the Freeview box. You just need the cow. Yeah. Brilliant. The cow and the aerial. I don't know where you plug the aerial in.

Number three on the list of the top six traits of a smart cow, future-proofed by being 5G-enabled. Oh, okay. And it's 5G-enabled GPS sender and receiver, so you know where the cow is at all times and how fast it's going. Brilliant. And if someone takes the cow home for the night, you can be like, hey, that's the work cow

that stays at work. And by the way, you are speeding at home. Number two on the list of the top six traits of a smart cow, you can select a milk flavour. Each teat is a different flavour. Oh my god, now we're talking. Now we're having one of those Coke machines and there's like Coke,

Diet Coke, Sprite. This would be chocolate milk. Yep. Plain milk. Yep. Strawberry milk. And banana. Lime?

Not lime. I knew that would get you going. Not lime, no. Citrus doesn't belong with milk. Yeah. And two incompatible. Oh, I love lime milk. Incompatible.

Incompatible. It's not real lime either. I'd say Jaffa. Why not Jaffa milk? Jaffa milk was yum. Orange chocolate milk. Yeah, yum. No.

No. Really on your own there. That's too bougie. That's too niche. Did Crunchy still do that milk? Was it Crunchy flavoured or was it a Rocky Road I'm thinking of? I think they did both. Yeah.

Oh, yum. No, too much. Make one of the teats one of those. I think they did both. Yeah. Oh, yum. No, too much. Make one of those. Too much. Too much. Number one on the list of the top six traits of a smart cow.

It works with Alexa. Hey, Alexa, milk my cow. Okay. You didn't specify what flavour. Alexa. All of them.

Milk the Jaffa flavour. We're setting off people's Alexas now, so I hope you're happy. I would like to know if you're listening and you're Alexa just trying to work out what milk the Jaffa flavour means. You can just let us know on the text machine. That'd be great. That'd be great. That's today's Top 6.

Aren't public proposals all they're cracked up to be? We've all seen a YouTube video that made us go aww, but that doesn't necessarily mean we want to be on the giving nor receiving end of a public proposal, right? No. Like when it goes well, you're like aww, but then

there's the occasional one of people like at baseball games proposing and the person's like and walks away and they might be set up but still you're there that awkwardness you're like all gone. A 2017 study found that some 45% of wedding proposals now happen in public places.

That is up. Public places. Public places. And that is up 34% from the last one in 2011. Public places are different to public. And then there's different stages of public as well. Is there in front of friends at like a party? Or is that in front of a massive crowd?

So they're saying 26% of people invite family and friends for the proposal. And only 15% of people want a public proposal. 15% of women. Yeah, that's fair. I wouldn't want a public proposal. When Mr. Toyboy proposed to you on the beach, were there people around? No.

In Rarotonga? No, but technically it was in a public place. But it was a private moment. Yeah, so there was no one else around. My first proposal in a public place, but was private. Did you, oh right, okay. Yeah. Because do you think it's movies that make, because movies

always have public, outlandish proposals. And women watch it and go, oh my god, that's so sweet. And thus maybe letting guys think that that's what they want, but you're watching it going my God, that's so sweet. And thus maybe letting guys think that that's what they want. But you're watching it going, yeah, that's so sweet, but I wouldn't want that myself.

You know what I mean? How's this for a New Zealand? Because that is a Cosmo study out of America. How's this for a New Zealand stat? We asked you on our story, would you prefer to be proposed to in public or in private? 96% of people want to be proposed to in private. So if you are asking someone to marry you,

you need to do that without people looking. Make it a private affair. It can be in a public place, but in a private nature. Well, what about the Eiffel Tower? Did you go up the Eiffel Tower when you were in Paris? Yeah, I wanted to see people get proposed to, but I didn't see it. I stayed for ages.

Yeah, I saw it. Did you? I saw yet one happen, and I was just like, ugh, it's so, like, cliche. And you run around, and you're just like, it's a little bit cringey. Yeah. A little bit cliche, and you're just like, I don't know, maybe if no one was around. Yeah, if you managed to get a spot when you were literally by yourself. Not that you ever can.

No. Up a big monument,, tourist attraction like that. Because everyone's watching. And the thing is with me, you don't know how you're going to react. And like if you're like, oh my God. Like you want to think that you're going to be like, oh my God, yes. But that's kind of not how it goes. Or they say no.

Yeah. It would have been public when that's happening. That same Cosmo article mentions about a girl being proposed to at a concert. Right. And she said it was just so awkward because she hates public attention. Yeah. It was during their favourite band and their band like stopped down and like everyone like got them up on stage.

Everyone's looking at you. And her partner had said this is what she wanted. Yeah. And she was like, mm-mm. And she just wanted to go afterwards because everyone kept going, congratulations. She didn't like it. That's a lot of attention. It gets worse.

There was a nurse who was running the New York Marathon last year. And at mile 16, her boyfriend came out and proposed to her while running. But she's like, dude, running a marathon. My split times are going to be messed up now. Well, they reckon it added over a minute to her time. She said yes, took the ring, but never took out her headphones. And I don't remember this happening at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, but apparently a Chinese diver got a silver medal,

and while she was on the podium podium her boyfriend tried to propose to her and she didn't like it because she'd worked really hard to get onto the podium and then he was trying to make it about him as well.

That's a separate moment. Yeah. That sounds like guys think that they want to be proposed to in a big life moment but sometimes you need those life moments

to be separate. It turns out that very few people actually want to be proposed to in a public setting. Yeah. This is an age-old gag amongst us. For years, as long as there's been internet banking transactions and we've owed each other money for one thing or another, when we pay each other back, we always put silly things in the reference.

Age old gag. Yeah. Still do it too. It doesn't get old. I've saved as payees. Yes, I saved in my online backing as payees. Yeah. And the default thing is like, Fletch, yours is filthy.

I don't even know if I can repeat it. But I think Megan's, yours is like drugs, guns and something else nefarious. I know Fletch is saved as Fletch but the default reference code is... I'm just on my payees now on my Westpac banking.

Yours is Fletch likes cats meow. But I know that I've written stuff in there every time I do a payment I'll just add some details. Yeah. I don't know when I wrote that. Like, it seems like a very long time ago. Maggie, I don't have anything for you.

Oh my God, my friend Morgan, I can't even read that out on the radio. Why would I have put that? Wow. So, hold on, now I want to go to my pay-ins. Caitlin, I haven't put anything for Caitlin. That's just a plain old, when have I ever paid Caitlin something?

Caitlin's is drugs, guns, stealing. See, the sexual ones are better because like, you know, that's not illegal. If you were actually a gangster and you were paying back someone for sex, drugs, and whatever, explosives, you're not going to write that. So obviously it's a joke.

Obviously it's a joke. But it's why you have to apologise to make it. This is a problem because when you are applying for a home loan, a mortgage, they go through your three-month statements to kind of get a feel of what you spend your money on and if you're the sort of person that's going to be able to make mortgage repayments. Because they also, and I never knew this, but they also look at your habits.

Like, do you eat a lot of takeaways? Are you Ubering everywhere? Yeah. That kind of, are you going on holidays a lot? So look at all of that. Also, any gambling. Okay. Any subscription services.

That's why I'll always take out, you know, a bit of cash at the ATM, not at the casino. That's a good idea. I don't think about that. Yeah. I didn't think about that. Cash, but they know because it's always the money machine right next to the casino.

Well, that's why I said out of the casino. At 2 o'clock in the morning. Not in the, yeah. But that's not. But I think bars as well, if you're always like spending heaps of bars. I'm never getting a house because they're just going to be like, what are you spending? Like nails, hair, clothes. Yeah.

And then drugs. I'm paying you back and it's for drugs and guns. I paid you back for that. It's so dodgy. Yeah, I paid you back for that giant coffee tin the other day. I think I wrote something rude as well. So I'll have to be on my best behavior now. Please.

Thank you. In future conversations with the bank manager. But it's even like, you know, I don't think it's is it illegal? You know how like some landlords were doing what they were calling the KFC test? Yeah. And if they were getting people moving in, they're like, well, show me three months of bank statements. I want to make sure

you're the sort of person that for the last three months you've paid your rent regularly and you don't waste your money, which I don't think they can, was that? No, yeah, they definitely frowned upon. But you know, imagine if you were a landlord and you went to look at your potential tenants

things and it was for guns and drugs and yeah, I mean you're probably not going to give them the flat. And it's going to be in a massive hurry, no, I wouldn't imagine. So just, if you're applying for a to give them the flat. And I'm going to be in a massive hurry. No, I wouldn't imagine. So if you're applying for a mortgage, tell your friends to keep it clean for three months. Or go more outlandish like they purchased an elephant off you. Oh, yeah, okay.

But then the bank's going to be like, we're not giving this person a mortgage. They're spending all their money on wild animals. Well, that's why I need my own house. I obviously can't get a rental with an elephant, can I? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So yesterday I witnessed something at a restaurant. Okay.

And so this is what happened. So lunch with a friend. Yeah. I look over and it's one of those restaurants with the open kitchen. Okay. So you can see what's happening. I Okay. So you can see what's happening. I like that because you can see what's happening. Yeah.

And I feel like they can't be as dodgy with your food. Okay. I don't know. You know when a place has, you don't know where the kitchen is? They could be doing anything in there. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a restaurant where you can see it all happening.

Oh, and sometimes flames come up. Yeah, yeah. But that's just what happens in the big kitchen. Have you ever been sat at the chef's table? Is that what it's called? The chef's table? It's like a special table at a restaurant. Where it's right by where the chef cooks.

It's right by the... No, part of teppanyaki, every seat's the chef's. Yeah. Because you're watching it all. Yeah. And the chef tells you what he's doing. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Because teppanyaki, they can't get away with anything. But anyway, so I'm looking. I've got to look right into... There's kind of a gap into the kitchen. And I see this guy, he's at the stove. What do you call it? Stove. Do they call it a stove? At the grill?

Yeah, that, anyway. What does it look like? He drops a big piece of meat onto the floor. How big? Like a big chunk, like maybe like that. Oh, that's an issue. Like a nugget of. I was imagining.

Like a steak. A nugget. In my mind, I's an issue. Like a nugget of... I was imagining... Like a steak. A nugget. In my mind, I was imagining a T-bone. I think it was like chicken. I think it was chicken. It was like, I'd say like a big nugget of chicken onto the floor. And I'm like looking at him. I'm like, that's like meat on the floor.

This is bad. Yeah. And then he picks it up and he puts it into a container next to the grill. Okay. A white container. Now I'm like at this stage, I'm like, is that the container with all the other meat or is that the container with the rubbish or the scraps?

So, can I give you a reference to our situation in our kitchen? Yeah, but okay, well tell me because I'm like, I don't know the rest of the story. I'm in the dark now. I'm like, Was the container, the rest of the story. I'm in the dark now. I'm like, I'm like. Was the container, did you see where he got the chicken from? No.

Okay. That's interesting. I know. So I'm like, well, what? Because if it was me at home, I'd be like, well, I'll just put it in and just, you know, two second rule. But does the two second rule apply in actual kitchens? And when he was, when he was maneuvering the chicken,

was it going onto the grill or the pan or is that where it was headed when he dropped it? Yeah, where was it heading when he dropped it? Yeah, it was heading for the pan. So the container will be the rubbish container. God, I really hope so, Megan, because lunch didn't come for another like 10 or 15 after that, so. Our rubbish container is near, because the kitchen sink is near the grill. Right.

So if you drop anything on the floor, it goes into the rubbish container. I'm just thinking if he was going to put it onto the pan, he would have still done that. Well, especially in an open kitchen. Yeah. But I don't know, I don't think he saw me see him.

He needs to turn around and be like, rubbish, this is the rubbish container. This is the rubbish. It needs a bit of that white tape on it, and on the white tape, you write rubbish. Rubbish. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, oh, I wouldn't put the rubbish container right next to the meat or the grill.

It's very hard when you have an open kitchen, like people can see in. Yeah, because people can kind of see into your kitchen. Yeah. Yeah. And you're just like, there's no way he thought he was getting away with that. You're always aware that people can see. Yeah.

And what do you care? You're not paying for the chicken, aren't you? But your kitchen, they'd have to be like looking in. They'd have to be standing

and looking. Because there's a big open, it's not even a window, it's just an open area. A server area. A serving area, yeah. So people just go and stand there

and watch sometimes. Yeah. Which is all good. But yeah, it's very, you've got to be on your best behaviour at all times. No, you do what I classically do when you roll a sausage off the barbecue in summer. You're like, pick it up, you put it back on, then you roll all the sausages around so you don't know which ones have been on the ground.

Sausage roulette. No harm, no foul. Yeah, yeah. So this is what I wanted to ask this morning. And you can be anonymous if you like. I want to know the gross things that you've seen behind the scenes at hospo, at restaurants, at cafes.

You've been working there. Maybe something did roll off the grill or fell on the floor and you're like, well... A long time ago and not at my establishment, we don't even serve steaks, but a steak dropped on the floor and it went back on the grill and I was like, I don't think you can do that.

Won't there be bits on it? And they said, yeah, but there's like pepper on it anyway. So the pepper mixed in with the bits off the floor. Wow. But it did go back on the grill. And they served it to the person and they didn't know. Yeah. Burn it off.

Wow. That was always my mum's. Yeah. If mum dropped anything, you just burn it, give it a bit, turn up the heat a little bit more. Yeah, run it under the hot tap maybe. To be fair, I probably would have burned any germies off, but it's still not what you're supposed to do.

No. So 0800 dials at M. You can text us as well, 9696. What are the gross things that you've seen behind the scenes in hospo? Maybe working at a restaurant or a cafe. Did something go back out? Like what did the customers not know? I want to know about the gross things that you've seen behind the scenes in hospo, maybe working at a restaurant or a cafe, did something go back out? Like what did the customers not know? I want to know about the gross things that you've seen behind the scenes in hospo,

maybe working in restaurants, cafes, catering, the things the customers didn't know. After I saw a chef drop a piece of meat and then put it into a white container. I don't know if that container was rubbish or it was the meat container. We're hoping it was there. I'm hoping it was the rubbish. In my head, as I was about to tuck into that meal, I imagine it was the rubbish. Good.

Good, yeah. Some text messages in. Someone said, you'd never get ice in your drink if you knew what had happened to that ice. Really? Lots of stuff just falls off there because it's always like a massive ice tub tub under the yeah yeah it is yeah and they said um drinks will be spilt and they'll drip in there oh um people suck on lemons after tequila shots and then throw them in there oh yuck there's oh yuck i don't have a happy ending i don't have a happy ending.

I don't have a happy ending for you here, people. Yeah, okay. This is why preloading is so important. Ashley, what happened behind the scenes? Yeah, so similar story to you guys. I used to work at a fast food outlet. Yeah. One of the popular ones.

Okay. And I witnessed a guy I worked with drop like like, a chicken patty straight out of the fryer. Yeah. It literally went pretty much under the fryer where all the greasy, dirty shit lies. And he was, like, seriously, he was about to serve it to a customer in a burger. I had to, like, force him to put it in the bin. He was thinking it was all good. Like, what was he thinking? He doesn't run the store. He just works there. Like, what? So, yeah. What was he thinking? He doesn't run the store.

He just works there. Like, getting your padding. He was thinking, it's going to save me another five minutes trying another one. Oh, okay. Wow. Thank goodness you were there.

Yeah. What's that? Thank goodness you were there. I know. I know. I was thinking, like, this could have been my burger. Yeah. I know. I was thinking, fuck, like, this could have been my burger. Yeah.

I know. That's the thing. Sometimes you just don't want to know what happens behind the scenes. Thanks, you caught Ashley. Hayden, what's happened behind the scenes? Hey, guys. I've been a chef for 18 years in Australia and Germany and travelled around. But I've seen raw chicken being put in a seafood chowder before and sent out instead of fish.

That was quite a good one. How do you mix that up? He was a younger fella and he put in, yeah, obviously chicken instead of fish, thinking it was fish. And the head chef yelled at him hardcore and he cried and never came back. He got golden rings. And neither did the person who ate the raw chicken In the seafood chowder Yeah

I've also seen A band-aid come back And a Caesar salad And the woman put it In her mouth And spat it out Oh my god Was it one of those

Blue ones So they always see it When they're eating some food Yeah it was It was a high-vis one as well So the guy that did it Got in a bit of trouble For that one as well

Wow Can the general public Buy the blue high-vis ones Because general public buy the Blue Hivers ones? Because I just buy the Minion ones so that they don't end up in my salads. Yeah, but then you always just use the Minion passes when you don't even need them. Yeah. Yeah, they obviously don't work. But in all honesty, like, after working in a hospital for, like, almost, like, two decades,

like, the chances of those, like, you know, anyone sabotaging stuff is very far and few between. Yeah. Well, everyone's professional, aren't they? Were you hyped? For sure. Like, you know, I've worked in Aussie and in Germany and in heaps of different places, and I've never seen anyone sabotage anything apart from once,

but we won't talk about that. And they probably deserved it, right? That's right. She did, man. She was a piece of work. Okay, we'll just cut you off there, Hayden. Sounds like a great story for another time. Maybe I'll she did, man. She was a piece of work. Okay, we'll just cut you off there, Hayden. Sounds like a great story for another time. Maybe I'll be thanks, mate.

Somebody said, a text message, I worked at a place where if a customer sent a steak back for being undercooked when they'd asked for a medium rare or a rare, the chefs would play football with it, dunk it in the fryer for a few seconds, put it on the grill for a few seconds, and then make us take it back to them. Oh, my God.

I thought that's only stuff of legend. It must be a real slap in the face when you're a chef and you've got your medium rare down to a finite. You cook it medium rare. You send it out there like, this is underdone. Yeah. Oh, you wanted well done, did you? You just heard other people say medium rare, did you?

Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. We're tackling the issue of Nelson in our 13th place. Yeah.

13th most popular breakfast show out of 15. Apparently is because, you know, there's other places where it's not good, but tackle your small problems first. And Nelson's a small problem. It's a small, big problem. It's a big problem. Don't get me wrong, but it's in a smaller place. And made worse by the fact that Megan is from Nelson.

It does hurt me a little bit when we get those results and it's like 13th. To your hometown. I have at least a couple of friends there and family. And your mum and dad has put up a new billboard for the show and nothing's happened. And after we've solved your home province, we might look at Fletcher's because New Plymouth is about as bad. Yeah, right.

Why can't I still? Absolutely romping it up. Your hometown, of course, of course. They love it. Right, we're joined on the show this morning by Megan's mum, Ray Ray. Good morning, Ray Ray. Good morning. Oh, I still have fond memories of your famous chicken casserole.

Oh, no, we're on to biscuits now. Biscuit, are you making biscuits? Yes. Excuse me, you still haven't sent me those biscuits you took a photo of? I know. We had a bit of an invasion of the boys and they scoffed a lot. What kind of biscuits were they? She was going to post me up some biscuits. What were

they? Ginger and something? Yeah, ginger and coconut. Oh, lovely. Interesting mix, Ray, right? Interesting. You ever have a bit of blue cheese with your ginger biscuits? What? Oh, no, that's a bit... It sounds crazy, it sounds crazy, but a friend of mine makes a ginger biscuit

with a bit of blue cheese on the top. Ray, let's get into the issue at hand. What are we going to do to fix the fact that we're the 13th most popular breakfast show in Nelson? Well, you see, we put the banner up, and it was very cold. We've had a lot of really, really cold weather. So what we're going to do, we have to go back and do a few adjustments

because Fletcher's face looks a bit old and wrinkly because we've got a kinch in it. So once we do that, we're hoping people will notice you more. Now, this is the same face that you strained your lady parts. Yeah, I know. I had a mishap. Well, you were on the ladder and you had to stretch and you kind of put yourself out, putting it up. Yeah, it's real stiff stuff and you've got to be careful

because if you don't pull right, you can get like a groin strain. Yeah, right. Or pull your back. First time you stretch. It's pretty hard work. It's not just like sitting down on the radio station. Oh, okay. There we go.

Shade. So you're saying that all we need to do is fix the crinkles in our billboard and that... The crinkles on your face. And then that'll fix our problems, Ray Ray. Well, yes, I think it will definitely help. Maybe we could get some of those little wee flaggy things that you stick on the car like the All Blacks have. We have a lot of things in Nelson. Oh, yes.

Yeah, okay. That's not a bad idea. What do we put on them, like our faces? The Tongan flag. Oh, look, I can't come up with all the ideas. That was massive in Auckland, the Tongan flag. Yeah. Yeah, something like that.

But what are your friends listening to? Not us. I don't have any friends. You don't have any friends. No. What about you? Have you stray away? Well, actually, you know, when people say to me,

oh, and how's Megan doing? I said, oh, she's up in Auckland working with a couple of lovely boys. And they say, oh, what station? And I say, oh, yeah, we go there. And they say, we never find it. It's very difficult to find, you see. But we're all so busy, we don't have time to listen to the radio. That's lovely to hear, isn't it?

It's not the TV. You can be busy and keep your company in the garden. But that's not a thing, Ray Ray, that everyone else is listening to the radio, just not this one. Oh, I don't quite know what it is. Do you listen to us every morning? Oh, you wound me. How awful.

Well, if I don't listen to you, I'm listening to Hosk. The Hoskins. It's not surprising. Right. It's the same building. It is the same building. It is the same company. Okay.

A little bit of a different message there. All right. Well, I like the idea with the flags, Ray. Ray, that's not a bad one. We do actually have, we've had a brainstorm, and we are going to put some ideas to an actual marketing. A marketing professor, yeah. Yeah.

A lecturer, I believe. I've talked to some fellow academics, and I've gotten in touch with a marketing professor, and we're going to put some ideas to a marketing professor on how to get up and out of 13th. Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought, well, you know, there must be something we can do. I'll have to sit down and come up with some ideas.

Okay. How would you know if we... Biscuits, I'm just thinking... Yeah, what about a biscuit? A roadside biscuit. Switch your biscuit if they listen. Free biscuit if you change your station. Yeah, I could do that down at Bunnings, couldn't I? Instead of having, you know, we could do that down at Bunnings, couldn't I? Instead of having a, you know,

we could have a group biscuit or something. Yeah, I don't know if you're allowed to just go outside Bunnings with a biscuit stall, Ray-Ray. Oh, you can do anything in Nelson. We don't have restrictions like that up the North Island. Are you open to wearing a ZM t-shirt or a

ZM puffer if we send it down? You can be our thunder driver down there. Oh, the thunder driver. Are you open to wearing a ZM t-shirt or a ZM puffer if we send it down? You can be our thunder driver down there. Oh, the thunder driver. Oh, yeah, that would be good. I could do wheelies in the thunder driver. Yeah, that would be good. We're not giving you a Blake Thunder to do wheelies in, Ray Ray. No, you'd have to put a sticker on your car.

Yeah, there's no budget for... Oh, I could do that. Yeah. I could... We could put a big sticker on the side of the truck. Okay. That sounds great. And there's no such word as can't.

Okay. I like a positivity. Great positivity, that's all we need here. To sort out this 13th place. Ray, Ray, thank you so much. So Ansel Elgort has done an interview, and in there he has explained his relationship with his girlfriend, Violetta. We've met him before.

He's an interesting dude. Yeah, he was in that movie Baby Driver. He had Folding Our Stars. Yeah. Other movies. Other movies I can't think of. Is it the Divergent series? Yes.

Was it with Shailene? Yeah. Did he go into the Hunger Games? No, I don't think of. Is it the Divergent series? Yes. Was it with Shailene? Yeah. Did he go into the Hunger Games? No, I don't think so. What about Maze Runner? Is it the Hunger Games? No, I don't know. What about every youth adult novel turned into a movie?

I don't know. Maybe. It feels like he was in all of them. Yeah. So in this interview, he's explained his relationship and the agreement that they have. He said, I'd like to find a lot more love. It doesn't need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend.

I think we've been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that should be open, but sexually it can be closed off. So he's saying... He wants to be allowed to fall in love with other people, but... But he's not going to sleep with the other people. He's only going to sleep with her, but he's going to fall in love with other people. That's like a reverse open relationship.

Yeah. Or an open relationship. But it would be the worst part about, like, the relationship, right? Because that's what you have when you're in an open relationship. You love that person, right? And then you just get your fulfillment and then come back to them? Yeah. That would be the normal.

You hear about people that can get over an affair and the vibe is that the only thing that meant it was they weren't in love with the other person. Yeah, because it was just the act. Yeah. It was just. Like Jay-Z and Beyonce. Yeah. Yeah.

He goes on to try and explain it some more. He says, I'm in love with a bunch of my male friends who I'm not interested in having sex with. So why can't I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with my friends? But that's just the love being friends with people. He says, I love Shailene Woodley and we've never had anything sexual and that was great. There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can't help

but you just have to be disciplined. So he literally, like... Did you hear him? He's getting himself in so much trouble. Like, stop talking. You're getting yourself in trouble. So does that mean, like, if you go on his phone,

you're going to see him being like, I love you, Shailene. You mean so much to me blah blah blah. Usually you'd be like what the hell and sell. But then because you've said that he can be in love with other people you've got to be okay with that.

Yeah, I guess it's just not what we're used to. The definition of an open relationship is just trying to understand it, how it works. Or everybody's different. Because you love your friends, right understand it, how it works. Everybody's different. Because you love your friends, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can say love you.

You don't say like I love you. But then I'm not going to send like fletched creepy messages about like thinking about you. I can't even bring myself to say it. Why did you do the blurb to that face? I can't even bring myself to like say a cute text here. Why did she do the blurb to that face? I can't even bring myself to, like, say a cute text here. Why did she do the blurb to her face? You imagine how you would react if you got that message from her.

Exactly. I'd be like, was this meant for me, Meg? Meant to send this to Mr. Toyboy? Yeah, weird. It is. Different. But no judge. I mean, do what makes you happy.

I'm just trying to get my head around it. Because I don't think I've ever heard of that kind of open relationship. So it's just odd, I guess. And you'd have to be so disciplined. Like, if you're actually letting yourself fall in love with another person. Because then you fall in love with them and then, well, you may as well be like, let's have a kiss. And then it's all downhill.

Let's have a kiss. Is that how you approach it? Let's have a kiss. Yeah. Let's have a kiss. Oh, it's all downhill. Let's have a kiss. Is that how you approach it? Let's have a kiss. Let's have a kiss. Oh, it's all downhill from here. That's so Kiwi. So let's have a kiss, eh?

The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup. On his team, the Adams. Oh, beautiful connection. Long black celebrating already. Sports Talk. I don't know about you guys, but it's weird having a Rugby World Cup without Nisbo commentating. Well, lucky we've got him on the phone. We've got him on for our fix of Nisbo's rugby voice.

Good morning, Grant Nisbet. G'day, guys. How you doing? There he is. All the better. All the better. Now, it's weird not hearing you commentating, Roggie. What's it like not doing a World Cup? Well, it's unusual, although, to be fair, I've missed quite a few World Cups over the years.

I've probably missed half of them. It's just that the last two, of course, which the All Blacks won, Sky have actually had the rights to them, so I've been able to do them. Right, okay. And do you find yourself in the lounge watching, like, doing some commentary? Yeah, it's a bit of a temptation, I've got to say, although when matches start about midnight, I tend to record them and watch them back the next morning,

so it's not quite the same when you know they're on tape. So have you watched last night's game? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I woke up at 5 o'clock and thought I'd better watch it because I've got to talk about it. Yeah, right, right. So we won. That's good.

Why isn't Canada better at rugby? It's a damn good question, actually, because in 1991, we actually played them in a quarterfinal. So they were quite a good team in those days. But for whatever reason, they've deteriorated. I don't know the reason for it. Maybe we've got better. But 63-0 is pretty hard to take if you're a Canadian.

Yeah. But they're not as bad as the pre-rugby World Cup game against Tonga and Hamilton, which was like close to 100 points. Yes, exactly. Well, poor old Tonga, they're not much better at this stage, are they really? And of course, that was a home game for the All Blacks. One thing I did notice last night, conditions were quite difficult. Even though the stadium was enclosed, it was very warm, obviously, and they were struggling to hold the ball. The number of dropped passes was

more than you'd expect from an All Black team. I did see some people saying very humid in there, and the All Blacks are going to have to, as with all the teams in the World Cup, work out how to deal with the humidity in the sweaty wet ball. Is there something, what are the rules about, can you put like sticky glue on your fingers or hair

spray or something? Well look, I don't think there's any rule against putting stuff on your fingers. You'll be struggling to get it on the ball. If you want to have a bit of a laugh, you probably saw at the end, I don't know, Bowden Barrett running away, looked like he was going to score a try and it was like a piece of soap. It just shot out of his hand.

And that's what it's like playing in a glass house, isn't it? If it's really hot and humid inside a stadium because it's got a closed roof. What about Artie Saver's goggles? How did you feel they went? We didn't see a lot of them, did we? He only came on with about 10 to go. At one point they showed him and he didn't have them on.

I don't know what happened to them. But then towards the end he had them back on again. But, hey, look, if it's going to save his eyesight, why not? Yeah, exactly. And next up for the All Blacks, it's Namibia this weekend. It is. And I think the major interest here will be who will the All Blacks put on the field. I think probably they'll leave Kieran Reid out, give him a break,

and maybe Sam Whitelock take the captaincy. But they are endeavouring to get everybody on the park at some point before the big games turn up. And who do you think the A-beams have to look out for with the big games coming up? Who's our main competitor? Well, I really think, and I said this right at the start, but I think the Springboks are the second-best team there.

So it's quite conceivable that we'll end up playing the same team that we played first up. But, you know, there were only two hurdles along the way. Ireland won't be very happy with the way they got beaten

the other day. England are pretty useful, let's be honest about it. I wouldn't write off either Wallabies or France either. So there are quite a few little hurdles along the way. Right, okay.

Brilliant. No, I believe it because you said it. Me too. That voice is rugby to me. Sue me. Hey, Nisbo, thanks so much for the chat. Righto, guys.

Anytime. What the fuck? How bull me? This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why. This is why. This is why I'm fat.

Another edition of This Is Why I'm Fat where we take a look at new food items hitting the shelves all around the country. Three today. Three that you need to know about. Is this a record? That is, yeah. And it's the first time, I believe, is it the first time I've actually had to use the oven?

No, it's the first time I've had to use the oven, yes. It's not the first time I've had a trial of a new product. Now, just on that, at 8 o'clock, just after the news, we did say this was coming up and that we were using fan bake, and to which we all said, well, why is there even a bake on the oven? Why is the bake option even a thing now if everyone fan bakes? Get rid of it. No.

Normal bake, somebody messaged in, is for pavlova and delicate baked goods. Yeah, but you should just buy a separate oven that's delicate baked. That would destroy it. Or you could all have one oven that had multiple functions. Which makes a lot more sense. So that's what it's for. It's for delicate items. Now, are we going to go to the oven item first?

I reckon we go to the oven item first. Okay, because we don't want it to go cold, do we? Now, I don't know if this is a new thing. I just think that we've just spotted these and need to tell everyone about them. Woolies in Australia has had them for a little while due to some very low-end research that I've conducted. We've had these at a restaurant before. Who's eaten one?

Yeah, because this says six pieces, but there's only five pieces. Who's had one? Well. Who's eaten one? We made a trade-off. There's been a negotiation. With who?

With the coffee guy. You gave him a spring roll. For two coffees. Two? Excuse me. I know, what a deal. Unbelievable. That's a great deal.

That's a great deal. I would have done that too. I would have done that too. That's a good deal. So these are six spring rolls, but... Cheeseburger flavoured spring rolls. Crispy pastry rolls filled with delicious mix of beef mince, tasty cheese, pickles, ketchup and a tangy mustard sauce.

Now these are a Woolworth... What is that? A Countdown. A Woolies Countdown. Yeah, these are from Countdown. They're from Countdown. Woolies is in Australia. So they taste...

Now, should we give a special shout out to? Yes, where we had them at a restaurant. There is a restaurant in New Plymouth called Little Glutton and they do cheeseburger spring rolls. They're a bit bigger than these ones. Well, I think these are handmade. And they are amazing. Like, they taste like a cheeseburger in a spring roll.

This smells amazing. What do you think? It's pretty hot. I'll just hold off eating mine then. Is there a cheesy, like a gooey cheese aspect? Yeah, there is. And there's a bit of pickle in there. Not enough pickle for me, but I'm pretty pickle-y.

No, the pickle, no, that's a good pickle ratio. I get pretty heavy on the pickle. Could do with a bit more flavour. A bit more mince? Oh no, there's a bit of mustard. It's mince, yeah. You could make this at home. So it's like a hamburger was blended up and put into a spring roll.

Grim. But without the bread. No, it's not grim. They're amazing. They're so good. Not as good as the little glutton ones. If you ever get a chance to go there, highly recommend. Unpaid endorsement.

What are these? These are pre-made frozen in a box. You know, you've got to keep your expectations at that level. Exactly. But I tell you what, these need to be a party food. Heck yeah. If these were at a party, I'd do a whole plate or two. Six isn't enough though.

Only six in a box. That's not enough. I mean, we only got five, didn't we? And we didn't get a coffee. See, there's a couple left. Go out and get us a coffee with the remainder. I'm going to try to bribe him, but he'll be full of... No, he will have had one.

He'll want more. He'll want more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a growing with the remainder. Oh, I'm going to try to bribe him, but he'll be full of... No, he will have had one. He'll want more. He'll want more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a growing lad. He needs more than one spring roll. He does, he does. Man, those are yum. Good.

Okay, so that is item one of This Is Why I'm Fat. Item two. We go to Anya in the social media hub. Anya, you noticed these and brought these to our attention? I did. Special limited edition Mallow Puffs. What is different about these Mallow Puffs? I believe

for breast cancer awareness they are raspberry. God, I love raspberry anything. Now is the marshmallow raspberry? Where does the raspberry fit into the traditional Mallow Puff stack? Do they inject a gooey raspberry? It looks like the actual marshmallow itself is pink in colour.

Now, make up your own mind whether that's going to be raspberry flavoured. And then underneath, it seems we do have some sort of a jam situation. Oh, they've doubled up. Just between the marshmallows. I personally think the marshmallow's pinkness is purely decorative.

Yeah. No, I think it's flavoured. I think think the marshmallow's pinkness is purely decorative. Yeah. No, I think it's flavoured. I think it would be a raspberry marshy. I would like to dissect it and see. Yeah. Give it a cut down the middle with a sharp knife. Yeah. Conduct some very scientific research.

Hey, Siri, remind me to buy mellow puffs at the supermarket. This is great. Excellent. Yep, great. Brilliant. Irish, great. Brilliant. Irish Siri. Yeah, my Siri's Irish. Just gives me...

Mine's an Englishman. He sounds kind of sexy. Yeah, right. So that's two. Yeah, that's item two. Item three that we've noticed. Caramel.

Is all the rage at the moment? Yes. And Philadelphia, they do the dip. They do the, you know, the rage at the moment. Yes, and Philadelphia, they do the dip. They do the, you know, the sweet chilli filly. That's a savoury. Actually, if I might just dive back to item number one, sweet chilli filly would be a great thing to dip these cheeseburger spring rolls into.

Yeah, okay. But now in Australia, I haven't seen if this is happening here, but same in Australia, Caramilk has just been re-released and it's going nuts. Philadelphia have teamed up with Caramilk and they have launched a Philadelphia inspired by Cadbury Caramilk. So I don't know if they've melted. It's a caramel cream cheese.

It would be a cheesecake filling. Yeah. So it's technically like a cheesecake filling. Yeah. So it's technically like a caramel cheesecake. Yeah. Caramel cream cheese. And apparently it's been amazing. People are like, I just had one spoon and I'm hooked.

Well, they just ate the spoon. They just ate a spoon out of a thing. They didn't even like mix it with anything or make it into anything. Basically, yeah. So it's $4 at supermarkets in Aussie. So if you need someone to mule that back to you, it with anything or make it into anything. Basically, yeah. So it's $4 at supermarkets in Aussie. So if you need someone to mule that back to you, I haven't seen it

released here or I don't know if it's coming here. Well, if they don't bring it here, it's their own foolish endeavor because

we are the third fattest nation in the world. We will straight up eat that Philadelphia cream cheese inspired by Cadbury

Camero out of the container without a spoon, just straight fingers. I'll straight mouth the container.

Like how badly do we want it? We want it so badly we're going to forego anything. The middle man of our fingers and just go straight for the mouth. Yeah. Fact. This is why. Fact. This is why.

This is why. This is why. Fact. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about the month October. Okay. It was called, it's pretty straight up the old Fact of the Day today about October. It was in the old calendar of Romulus.

Because we're at the moment, we're in the Gregorian calendar. Of course we are. We're in the Gregorian. Right. That's your 12 months, 52 weeks. What was the other calendar? Did that have heaps more Romulus? The calendar of Romulus.

This came about in 750. It was a 10-month calendar. Oh, so if you had a birthday November or December, too bad. Oh, no, no, the months were just longer. I was trying to get out of buying people presents. Then we miss out on Christmas and one month of summer. Oh, yeah, true.

All the other good stuff, like arguably spring's best month is November. Yeah, true, true. I always enjoy November spring. It's getting a bit more summery, isn't it? But they had each month. No, I'm not going to try to work it out. Lots more days. No, because there was another calendar where each month had full weeks.

Right. And it just made it even. But then if you were born on a Tuesday, your birthday would have always been on a Tuesday. Right, okay. And that'd be pretty stink. Yeah. So that is the reason. It was the eighth month in the old calendar of Romulus.

Okay. So that's why it's called October. Because octagon, of course, eight side. Yep, yep. Octopus. Yep. Eight arms. Octagon.

Did I say octagon? I'm sure. Where did oba come from? So the oct came from eight, but where Did I say octagon? I'm not sure. Where did ober come from? So the oct came from eight, but where did ober come from? That was the guy that invented it. Mr. Ober. Mr. Ober. December, November.

Why is it ber? Who decided they were all going to be bers? Ber. Or? September. July ber. June ber. Mar ber. February ber. February ber. Or September July June Mar February

March I Hmm Hmm I don't know Megan Can I look into that And that could be tomorrow It's back to the day

Why so many months End in ember Yeah sure Ember Because it's ember That's the thing Because sept is seven So that used to be The old Seventh month In the old calendar Yeah, sure. Ember, because it's ember. That's the thing, because sept is seven.

So that used to be the old seventh month in the old calendar. Were they added on? Because all the burrs are at the end of the year. Burr is a Latin adjectival suffix. The seven month in Latin, for example, was formerly September, menis, seventh month. Right. Ember used to mean like a take on month, did it? I guess so, yeah.

Okay. Just something Latin is why we do it. Right. Yeah, look, a lot's written off to Latin. It's Latin. More or less a dead language. I know the Catholics were big fans of cranking it out, but I think I've given up now because no one knew what they were talking about

and you've got to move with the times. The irony of the Catholic Church moving with the times isn't lost on me. So, yeah, October was originally called October because in the old calendar it was the eighth month and, of course, eighth synonymous with oct. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Prepare to be blown away by one man's astronomical feat.

Okay. You definitely don't have a history of overselling things. This isn't that time when you cleaned the oven and you wanted everyone to know that you did some work? Oh, yes. Okay. Because you just had that same look about you. No, it's an achievement.

It's a big achievement for me. It's a big achievement. And for most people, I think. We cleaned out. We had to take all of our stuff out of our wardrobe. And we only moved into this house like eight, nine months ago. But sure, for some reason, our clothes have doubled and we got rid of a whole lot of stuff before we moved in.

And now we had another big clean out and had a whole lot of clothes. And weirdly enough, I don't buy a lot of clothes, so I don't know where these clothes keep coming from. Jujuba. Probably Jujuba again. Dick bloody Juba. Apparently the C's a hard C. Right, okay. So. Dick bloody Juba. Apparently the C's a hard C. Right, okay.

So it's Dick Juba. Okay. That's what I've learnt. My wife does the secret shopping. Yeah. So we had a clean out again and they all got, I got lumped with the responsibility

of taking them to a clothing bin. Right. Okay. So when this has happened previously, it's lived in my boot for like six months because you always forget about it. Yeah. Until you go to put something in your boot and you're like, I've got to get rid of that. Yeah. And's lived in my boot for like six months because you always forget about it. Yeah. Until you go to

put something in your boot and you're like, I've got to get rid of that. Yeah. And then you shut the boot and it's gone. Yeah, it's gone. So that got put in

on, what's today? Thursday. Yeah. Got put in on Tuesday. Okay. Yesterday, I emptied it

of the clothing bin less than 24 hours after it was put into the boot of the car. Amazing. That is pretty amazing. Yeah, wow. That's what you want everybody to be amazed about, that you put something in your boot and it only was there two days.

No, no, no, not even two days. Less than 24 hours. Oh, wow, okay. Less than 24 hours. I had a bag of clothes in there for like six months, once. Longer even. I had a bag of clothes in there for like six months, once. Longer even. I had a bag of clothes in my car and I left it there so long I actually went back into it and was like,

no, I'm not giving that away and took stuff out of it. It was like, that's what you need to do with your clothes. You need to hide some of them from yourself. So you find them and you're like, that's right. I appreciate you again now. And then hide. Took half of it back inside. Yeah.

There you go. But I was just like, yeah, these things rattle around in your boot for a minute and you forget they're there until you turn the corner too sharp and then you hear something move and you're like, that's right. There's a bag of stuff I don't want anymore in the boot. I've got to get back to that, you know, clothing bin. I would like to know this

morning, I know at $100.00 at EMO you can text 9696, what's in your car that's been there the longest? What's in your car that you keep going, I've got to get that out? It doesn't need to be in the boot either. Things live in the glove box a long time or in the little centre console. Or on the floor of the back seat.

Famously a great place to put stuff because you turn around to look and it's dark so you can't see that anything's there. I will bet any money in the world, Okay, maybe not any money in the world but I bet there is someone listening that still has part or entire burger or some kind of fast food still in the car. Oh yeah, of course there will be.

Are we taking rubbish? Well, I mean technically that's, I mean I don't want to hear about just rubbish but if the rubbish is like a burger, that's interesting, isn't it? That someone could have had a burger in their car for six months. I guarantee it won't even have mould on it either. It'll just be like in the same, it'll be cold, but yeah.

I reckon you could still eat that cheese. The cheese slice is yum. Or has anybody got a half full pump bottle under their car and every time they go around a corner it goes, for donk. Roll, roll, roll for donk. Okay, so 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. You can text and call now.

What is in your car? What's been in your car the longest? That probably should have been either chucked out. Is it in the boot? Is it in the back seat? Or put somewhere. Glove box. Yep.

Give us a call. Talking about the things that you've left in your car, maybe you've forgotten about them. How long is the longest thing? What about you, Megan? You've just got a new... I actually had like, you know those Polaroid cameras? I had a whole packet of film for those,

but I'd already gotten rid of the camera. Remember when I got rid of my car? I found lots of goodies in there. A whole packet of film. I actually had a friend's wedding dress in my car for like almost a week. I was supposed to hang it up, but I just forgot that it was in the backseat because I'm not used to having a backseat. But it's hung up now. That's okay. That's okay. It's fine. It's fine, friend. Your calls and texts. Warren, what did you leave in your car for too long?

Oh, I've got a slice of pizza, a cheesy garlic pizza in there. I don't know how long it's been in there for, though. A slice or a whole pizza? Oh, just a slice. I think if I had a bigger bit deeper, there might be a couple more slices there somewhere. Are they in the box, Warren, or are they just rolling around free range? No, the boxes were at the back and the pizzas were under the seats.

Right. How long has it been there, Warren? I'm not too sure. Yeah, I cleaned out. The car's been inactive. The battery was flat four bit and we got it going last week and, yeah, we ended up cleaning it and, I don't know, it looks like it's been there for a while.

Sounds like it. Sounds like it. Sounds like it, Sounds like it. But did it look like you could give it a minute in the microwave? Oh, nah. I don't think so. Okay. Warren, thanks for your call. Amy, what's been left in your car for a while?

So my parents, the mums used to do carpooling from kindergarten. Okay. And so mum would drive one month, and then the next mum would drive the next month. And in the second month coming back, the other mum was driving. And mum hopped in the truck and was like, what on earth is that horrible smell?

And they had this horrible, disgusting smell, and there was no air conditioning in the truck. Hot summer's day. Wound the window down the whole way. It was about an hour-long drive. And when they got to where they got to, mum opened the back door to get us out, and the nappy that the other mum had changed from two months before when she drove out was underneath of her seat.

Oh! Ransom. They just hadn't used the car for two months? No, she had. Lovely lady, but I don't know if hygiene was one of the best, strongest points of life. Strongest qualities. Wow.

It was just a hot day that brought on. Okay, Amy, thanks for your call. Chloe, what's been in your car for ages? Brand new curtains. Brand new curtains. Do you just pick them up? Yeah, at a month's moving house, I bought new curtains for the house and I've only just realised they're still in there.

In the boot? In the boot. Right, okay. But your curtains at the moment are fine? Yeah, apparently. I don't use them. Oh, no. Well, they're in the boot. You may as well use them. I don't use them. Oh no. Well,

they're in the boot. You may as well use them. I reckon put them up. You'll probably be stoked with the results. Chloe, thanks for your call. Some text messages for the last 18 months. I've had a pair of high heels from someone I had a brief affair with in my boot. Thanks for reminding me. I better return these. That's good, eh? Getting a pair of heels back after 18 months.

Be like new heels Like new heels again You forgot you had them You forgot you had them, yeah Yeah I have a rubbish bin that I got from my new flat a year ago Still sitting in my car I use it for rubbish in my car now

You'd think I'd empty it and take it out But I haven't yet That's really weird I've got a wild pigs grinder in my centre console A what? A pig grinder What's a pig's grinder? Do we want to know?

Gay pigs used to hook up with other gay pigs. Oh. Do we want to know? Is it like fangs? What? Oh, like teeth. Is it like their jaw? Oh, yeah, maybe.

Yeah, I don't know. Oh, the two teeth on top are called whetters or grinders. Oh, right. Okay. So you've got pig's teeth in you. I learned that from an article called The Plague of Pigs in Texas. Thanks, Google. So they've got a skull there.

Right. Interesting thing to explain to the police when you get pulled over at a random Warren of Fitness checkpoint. Yeah. Somebody else said that we had to take our kids' car seats out for a warrant of fitness found an ungodly amount of food under my daughter's seat that's the thing when you have kids and you take those seats out you're like when did you last

when did you last see a nugget in the car you can't remember so years ago somebody said we had a dead bumblebee where's between the dashboard and the windscreen on the inside of the car it's been there for two years now it's called humble the bumblebee and the kids always ask windscreen on the inside of the car? It's been there for two years now. It's called Humble the Bumblebee, and the kids always ask about it whenever we get in the car to go somewhere,

asking if Humble's still there. That's pretty cute. Is it not like decayed? Maybe it has, but it's fragile to the touch, so they're just not touching. Maybe it's somewhat mummified by the air conditioning vent. Yes. We moved house last July. Still got a kitchen rack, cleaning products,

and some shelves in my car boot and on the back seat. I drive the car every day. I don't know why I haven't taken them out. This might be the inspiration I need to do it. Yeah, because it's just those times when you go too fast over a speed bump. Yeah. You run up on it. You're just like, oh, that's right.

The shelves are in the boot. Oh, well, forget about them. Get them out of the boot. Everybody's doing it. All right. Hey, guys. Take care of it today. Marie Kondo, your boot. Oh well, forget about them Get them out of the boot Everybody's doing it Alright Hey guys Take care of it today Marie Kondo your boot

Mmm ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give ZM's Free and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app Or wherever you get your podcasts

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