ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 08 2018

Episode Date: October 7, 2018

Its Megan's 10 year anniversary with Fletch and Vaughan, Megan got hustled and what did you break before you could use it?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'll be right as sure. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Still sick?

Yeah. I said have a lemon honey over the weekend. Did you have a lemon honey? I had like 26,000. Still not better. So we are coming back from Christchurch in Ternania. Your ear, no, was it going to Christchurch? It was both ways.

You know how your ears pop? Yeah. Her ear still hasn't popped, one of them. Yeah. So can't hear Megan today, unfortunately. Sorry, mate. I'm going to have to just lip read you. Is Megan only in the left ear? Yeah't popped, one of them. Yeah. So can't hear Megan today, unfortunately. Sorry, mate. I'm going to have to just lip read you. Is Megan only in the left ear?

Yeah, she's on the left. Yeah. Yeah. She was in our Airbnb, like, Googling. She was doing yoga poses, like, trying all these different things. Did you put anything in your ear at one point? Oh, no, she was steaming. When I was a kid, I put a match in my ear to try to unblock it.

A lit match? No. Oh. I was just thinking that would be something stupid you'd do as a kid. But, yeah, it went right in and it pushed something and it really hurt. So don't do that. Okay. Don't do that.

That was this afternoon's plan. Matches. Matches. Don't you just hold your nose and just blow? No. That can really hurt. Yeah! That can really hurt. Yeah, because they say you shouldn't fly if you've got a cold and you're all blocked up, but it's like, well, what else are you going to do?

You can't change. Take a South Tehran trawler. Slow boat trips aren't an option for everybody. Now, Anya, in the news, the petrol boycotts. Saw this, like, Thursday, Friday. It seems stupid to me. It won't work. Like, and someone said the ultimate way to boycott the petrol stations is to grab a bike

and ride your bike everywhere. But unless you want to do that, not buying petrol on Wednesday is just going to mean you're going to buy it on Thursday. Or Tuesday. And I don't have a bike. Somebody said. And I'm not good at riding them. No, you're not.

Somebody said if you really want to sting them, you don't buy anything in store. Well, I don't do that anyway. But then they're just going to put petrol prices up more to compensate for not having anything being sold in the store. Yeah, I think you can't win. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Story time now and three news headlines, three interesting, odd, unusual, quirky news stories that I've found online. Pick one of the following three. Headline one, man gets Facebook posts wrong. Headline two, man's fascination for police goes too far. And headline

three, gas station owner has had enough. Gas station owner has had enough? Nothing to do with what we were talking about before. About petrol stations. About fuel prices going through the roof. In fact, this is an overseas gas station owner. Overseas gas station. Because we're calling it a gas station. I'm guessing what the story's about?

What's he had enough of? Or she? I don't know. What have they had enough of? What were the first two stories again? Man gets Facebook post wrong. And man's fascination for police goes too far. Oh, just really confusing.

Just three. Just, I think, number three with service session. All this chat about petrol prices and me giving away free fuel. And we're giving away more fuel in 11 minutes. Every 15 minutes, $100 free fuel. Okay, we go now to Florida now. And a guest, oh, hang on, I've got to say no to the latest news and updates from KTLA 5. Oh, do they want to send you information about what's happening wherever KTLA 5 is based?

Yeah, God, you click that once and you're getting lots of notifications. Lots of pop-ups all the time. Jacksonville, Florida. A Florida gas station owner has placed a sign in his store which has gone viral. Okay. Now, the owner of the service station,

Peral Patel, says he's become sick and tired of people walking into his BP gas station on the fly convenience store in Jacksonville to use his microwave. Now, the microwave is there, obviously, if you buy, you know, like a pie or a pastry. Yeah, or a frozen burrito. Yep, and you want to heat it up. Yeah. You can do that when you buy it.

But the sign that is placed on the microwave has gone viral. The sign reads, only for food use. Do not warm urine. Why would people be warming urine? Because they bought it for their drug test. And it needs to be warm. 10 points for Megan. I mean, I assumed it would be to warm it to make it look like it's fresh.

But how much of a problem is this? Also says keep microwave clean. Thanks. TH. Do you get a lot of splash around from urine? I know porridge is always over flying out of the Pyrex. Does urine steam? Because then you get wheeze, steamy residue.

I was talking to someone about this the other day because they said they get drug tested for their work. And I was like, well, like, do people watch? Or could you get away with like having a fake thing of urine? He's like, no, you just wouldn't be able to. Really? Like, because they'd see you fumbling around, you know? It would be very hard to...

No, you fill up a balloon and you keep it in your pants. Yeah. And then when you pull it out, you just... Okay, you've got to unclip the balloon. Yeah. How are you going to untie that? No, you've got a little clip on it. A little ball clip.

And that's not going to look a little bit suspicious? No, and you go in and you just... I think you'd practice. You'd definitely practice. But what about for females? Are they going in the store with you and watching you do it? Well, I don't know. No, because they couldn't watch you, could they?

No, not in a workplace. Unless they... No, I don't know how they'd do that, actually. Never thought about it. It depends what you're being drug tested for. If it's just at work, that's something. But if, you know, you've broken the law and you, by law... Oh, they'd probably watch

you then. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, apparently enough people have done it that the sign needed to be put on the microwave. Is it in a certain area like near a... It doesn't say. It doesn't say, but I'm guessing, yeah, it must be near some building sites or some... an industrial area where, I don't know, there are truckies and builders

and labourers that need to be drug tested. So can you imagine that? You always forget how warm urine is, though, fresh out the pipe. Well, that's what you're saying. If you put it in a balloon and put it next to your body, that would warm it naturally, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would keep the body warm. What if you're lining up for the microwave and the person before you is heating up wheeze?

You're like, oh. You're like, oh, do I put my burrito on? You're like, what are you doing there, Chip? So grim, though. Oh, it's just a lemon and honey. It got cold. And of course, you know, to cure the cold, it has to be hot. Yeah.

Smells like wheeze, does it? It's not. It's not wheeze. Like that sign says, you're not allowed to hate wheeze here anymore. Good God. I want to talk now about students sexting. Now, this is something that probably will scare parents, but I don't think these students are telling their parents.

So there is students, and we're talking like tertiary students, are using sexting to pay their way through university. Oh, so not just like sexting, like you're going out with someone and you're just like, hey, I'll be home soon. What are we going to have for dinner? Mints. No. Real sexy today. So there's a 23-year-old that...

Your sexting needs work, by the way. We've just got to get dinner out of the way first and then get into the... Yeah. Yeah. There's a 23-year-old in the UK. Her name's Katie. And she is... She recently graduated English...

English? English literature. Irony there. I know. Graduated English literature and with a first-class degree from a top university. So she's got the smarts. Right.

But to pay her way through it, she's sexting dudes. So she started this by some of her friends were doing it and they were making a lot of money. So she started an Instagram account and she had guys messaging her. And then to make it even more or less traceable, she started going to these forums and chat groups where guys will post ads for what they're after and if she's

comfortable with it, she'll take on the job. So guys offer large sums of money in exchange for a certain amount of time text conversation. So like a 20 minute. You never meet them, you never give them personal information.

Do you have to send them pictures though? She doesn't say. I don't think so. So it's just chatting? Yeah. And how much are we talking here? Like hundreds of pounds because this is in the UK. She's putting herself through university.

There must be a fair bit of... Yeah. So, I mean, she can make like $300 a day, New Zealand dollars. But she said one guy in America paid me New Zealand $380 a week. And that was just occasional texting. So the deal varies. You know, like they could pay for a 20-minute conversation on one day. Or like she gets a weekly payment from that guy for occasional texts.

So it's like having a sugar daddy, but you don't have to touch them. Or even see them. Or see them. I'm on board. No. I can pretend to be an 18-year-old female from Essex via text. Okay, what are you studying at uni though? English stuff.

English literature. I don't think they're ever going to go into details about that. Yeah, and then they'll be like, hello, and I'll be like, hello, governor. Like, obviously. In your sexy voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, gov. Hello, gov, how are ya?

But she's got a boyfriend too, and he's okay with it. Because I guess she's not really, she's not into it in that way. She's just like fabricating it for the... It's a couple of texts, isn't it? Yeah. How sad is it though,

on the other side of the thing? Like, you're paying. Yeah, but then they can afford to pay, can't it? Yeah. How sad is it though on the other side of the thing? Like, you're paying. Yeah. But then they can afford to pay, can't they? I know, but it's just weird.

They're paying you to, I would totally do it, by the way. Yeah, because there's no, if you have photos, you have to send them photos of the, I'd be like,

hey baby, and then like, get back to your business. Why not? Right. I just looked up a list of British sex slang. That was what I was doing. That's what I was Googling.

And it's actually, like, horrendous. I wanted to use one. Some of it's okay. Like, baps. I mean, we know what baps are. Nungs. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know.

Baps. Baps are, are like Kind of flat Buns Buns Cheese and bacon loaf That's not one of them I've just got the Baps out of the oven

What are you doing Yeah some of these Are really horrendous Was that sexy Was that Did that work Would you have paid me $300 for that

Chat Probably not I've just got out the bath Me baps are nice and soggy That'll happen if you put soap on a bath. I don't know why I'm taking bread into a bath but help me out here.

I'm trying to be sexy. That was certainly a $300 text conversation. I'm aroused. When we were in Christchurch on Friday we had no idea that this was about to happen but we gave away a car. We knew that was going to happen. Yeah.

We had a photo with the winner, Alice, and the car. And the person who may have won a car but didn't win a car, producer Caitlin, and she was wearing a jacket over a shirt. What did your shirt say? What was the whole word on your shirt? Phoenix. Phoenix. I don't know what it means.

It just looked, like, cool, so I just bought it. Or is it a Wellington Phoenix top? No. Or the Phoenix basketball team? Oh, I was thinking the Bird. Might have been the Bird. Sure. Regardless.

I don't know. Is it a cool band called Phoenix? Probably not that. Could have been any of these things. Or any of the others. So when you were wearing a jacket over the top, the P got covered and the Knicks got covered and people thought you were wearing a T-shirt

that just said ho. Yeah. Unfortunate. Some eagle-eyed person spotted that in a photo we put online on our Instagram page with us with the Cars winner. It looked like your shirt said ho on it. Yeah, and because everyone was also saying

that I had this really salty look on my face. But I was just like trying to smile real hard because I was like, I don't want the car, but you know. You're happy. I'm happy for her.

Okay, you think that's bad. I saw a news story I've just found because I saw this last night. You know Thomas Cook? They do like, in the UK, they're like a big travel agent

and they do their own charter planes and they've got their own planes. Yeah. They have a plane that says I heart Cook's Club. I can see where this is going. The door, there's a case on the door,

and they opened the door at the airport, and it covered one of the O's. Covered part of the O to look like a C, did it? Yeah, I love. Oh, okay. Looks like it says. I'll show you the picture of the actual... I love C-O-C-K.

We can't say that on the radio. I spelt it out. Remember when we used to work on Cook Street in the city? People used to always get a little bit of tape over one of the O's. They got up on the sign. A little bit of blue tape. On the actual road sign. Yeah Yeah, it was always a problem. On the actual road sign.

Yeah, so it was something else straight. That always happened. It always gave me a chuckle. I never saw that. How does that feel ripped off? I never saw that. Who's getting a ladder and going out and buying blue tape

just to do that? An artist. It's hardly Banksy. It's New Zealand's Banksy. It's New Zealand's Banksy. Turning Cook into COCK. That's New Zealand's Banksy. It's New Zealand's Banksy. Turning Cook into COCK. That's New Zealand-level Banksy stuff. Genius, isn't it?

All right. The largest, one of the largest sperm banks in the world is California Cairo Bank, I think it said. And it's in Los Angeles. It has around 500 to 600 anonymous donors. And it has launched a new service for women wanting to choose a donor based on Hollywood star. So it's called Lookalikes. And basically each donor is assigned

two to three celebrities they look like. So you can search, and apparently this is one of the most popular searches, Ben Affleck, and then find, you know, like a whole bunch of dudes that have been listed. But who says they look like Ben Affleck? Because you remember it was a while ago there was that change your Facebook profile picture to your celebrity doppelganger

and people were taking some, just some wild swings with that one. Yeah, they were. You know, your close friends, you had to say, Rachel, you don't look anything like Emily Radichnowski. Not when choosing Emily. No. It was very New Zealand. You had to downplay it.

Yeah, you did. You had to find somebody who maybe you shared a couple of features with that was not attractive. Yeah. So I was like, okay, let's check this out. And I went to the website. So, I mean, without being awful, this guy, it's his picture, and he's been linked to Taylor Lautner, Michael Coppon,

I don't know who that is, and Keanu Reeves. So get that in your mind. Like dark hair. But Taylor Lautner doesn't look anything like Keanu Reeves. Yeah, okay. And then I'll show you a photo of this guy. Here. It's actually like if Taylor Lautner and Keanu Reeves had a baby.

Yeah. You've got that guy. Yeah, no. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right. Don't look alike. Yeah. So you can go to the service and search your favourite celebs.

He looks like the oldest daughter's dorky, dumb boyfriend of any American situational comedy. Okay. He's doing a great thing in donating. Well, he'd be getting paid. It's America. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't think he's doing it for the love of playing

on themself in a small room. And they're not under any, like they don't have to have any contact with the children. No, it's anonymous from that end. How great would it be if celebrities were doing that for a laugh? Like Brad Pitt's actually making a donation. Wow. Like just so that he can like say,

oh yeah, funny. Someone's going to have my baby. They don't know. It's a weird sense of humor. Brad Pitt's walking around. Yeah. George Clooney's. Quite often you do see on TV, you know, lookalikes.

I mean, maybe this is what they're doing. This is the aim, is to get the word out there. So celebrity lookalikes out there could be like, well, I could make some money from this. Yeah. But do you think it'll branch into the territory of impersonators? Like someone's going to come in and be like, I'm Austin Powers, baby.

I'm here to donate some sperm with me mojo. I don't know if anyone's going into a sperm bag saying, I want an Austin Powers lookalike. Yes, yes. The baby comes out. Someone comes in, they're like, oh, the king's back on the building, baby. Elvis is here to make a donation.

Oh, no thanks. They're like, oh, the king's back on the building, baby. Elvis is here to make a donation. Oh, no, thanks. Why does this happen? Why are we getting all these impersonators coming? The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Yesterday in the Solomon Islands, a large boat was boarded, the Vumalin. Okay. Voo?

It's got UX on the end, so I'm just taking some French liberties here. Vue. It's a Vue, a double-masted yacht that was moored just outside of the marina. Yeah. It was apparently suspicious enough to warrant a boarding. And then behind a false wall panel

on the interior of the yacht, hello, cocaine. Oh, okay. The biggest haul in Solomon Islands history. Hundreds of kilograms. Hundreds of kilograms Oh, okay. The biggest haul in Solomon Islands history. Hundreds of kilograms. Hundreds of kilograms in brick form. Yeah. Of well-packed cocaine.

A commercial smuggling operation. Wow. And the Solomon police are just like, they're just like, shit, that's a lot of cocaine. Like, they're literally like, I don't know, what do you reckon? Asking like Australian experts and everything.

They just don't have the facilities. Because what do you do? Because in the movies they flush it down the toilet. Yeah, but that's only just like a baggie when the police are coming. The police have got it. There's hundreds of kilograms. So the top six ways the Solomon Island police can get rid of their cocaine are number six, burn it. Yeah, does cocaine burn?

I don't know. Well, it's powder, isn't it? So probably not. Grab a couple of bricks and pop down to the local crematorium and see what happens. That's the thing about this. So many great chances for experiments. Yeah. All the experiments you've ever wanted to do with cocaine but never had the cocaine to do it.

Right. Because there's 500 kilograms of it. Number five on the list of today's top six ways the Solomon Islands police could get rid of hundreds of kilograms of cocaine. Um, sprinkle it into the ocean. There's heaps of ocean. And there's only like 500 kilograms of cocaine. So that'll dilute

it to nothing in no time. Like you said, they flush it down the toilet in the movies and the ocean is just a big toilet. Do you want sharks on cocaine? Yes. What would a shark on coke do? Just be like... Just frenzied? Smash everything.

Yeah, frenzied. You know those sharks down in the South Island when they chuck the food out and put people in the cages? Yeah. Just probably like that. But like 100 times more frenzied. But just for like 12 hours at a time. Okay.

Number four on the list of the top six ways the Solomon Islands police could get rid of that cocaine. Keep it for sandbagging because the Solomon Islands, parts of the Solomon Islands, rising sea levels have led to more sort of like flooding. You won't get a huge amount walled off with 500 kilograms of cocaine, but sacrifice one bag to the workers and they'll get it done super quick. True. And precise and intensely. Number three on the list of the top six ways

to get rid of the Solomon Island cocaine. Scuba diving's a massive part of local tourism in the Solomon Islands. So hide the cocaine in some really hard to get to scuba diving areas. Don't tell anybody where it is and just say there's cocaine down there and then people will come from all over the world

to go scuba diving. Yeah, it's like an awesome treasure hunt. Okay, an illegal treasure hunt. Hashtag tourism. Number two on the list of the top six ways the Solomon Islands police could get rid of all of this cocaine. Saltwater crocodiles are a fairly big problem in the Solomons. Okay.

There's lots of them. Call me crazy, but coked up crocs would be something I'd pay to see. Because whenever I've seen crocodiles in animal parks in Australia, they're just like chilling in the sun. Sometimes you just want to poke them with a stick to make them do something, eh?

And then they maybe get a bit jazzed when it's feeding time. You're there and it's like, hello everybody, welcome to Australia Zoo. We're going to be dangling some meat into the crocodile enclosure soon if anybody wants to come and have a look. Imagine if it was like bing. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to

shove 125 grams of cocaine up a crocodile's nose. Shit knows what's going to happen, but it's going to be pretty loose, bruh. Come on down, it'll be sick as. Yeah, but? One of the first ten down, you get to have a bump of coke too. Imagine having, being on coke and watching a coked up crock.

Moon. Hashtag terrorism. Number one on the list of the top six ways the Solomon Islands police could get rid of their cocaine. I say, put it back on the boat and make it somebody else's problem. Ever find something that looks like it's going to be straight into the too hard basket?

Yeah. Me too, all the time. So basically put it all back on, tow the boat out into the ocean, and untie it from your boat. See you later, drugs. Yeah. You're now Papua New Guinea's problem. Or Vanuatu's problem.

Yeah. Or Northern Queensland's problem. You know, the long row problem. Ta-ta. And that's today's Top Socks. It is one Uber Eats first, you don't say one birthday, first birthday.

Uber Eats one birthday. In Christchurch, it's Uber Eats' first birthday. Right. I don't know how to say that. Yeah. It's been in Christchurch for a year. Okay.

So they've released some stats on some customer behaviour and one in particular, one customer, has ordered Uber Eats 73 times in one week. No. That's 10 times a day. Yeah. So they averaged about 10 times every single day. That's got to be a

business ordering for everybody that works there. Surely. From separate places. It says, yeah, I don't know. It might be. You know, if you're listening and that's you, you know that's you, eh? Yeah, 100%. What if someone's doing that ordering and they're like

saying, oh, what did you want? What did you want? I tell you what, it's 20 bucks. Imagine if someone's double dipping. They're taking a commission on behalf of Uber Eats. People who don't have an Uber Eats account wanting something off Uber Eats. Or someone's just really hungry and really lazy. I reckon it's a company thing and there's like a treat. Well, they've said what their largest order was and what the smallest was.

So the largest was like $678.30 on sushi. So that does sound like a company. That's a workplace. However. Then that's an insane amount of sushi. That's an entire sushi outfit for the day, right? Yeah, that is. The smallest purchase was for a single roast potato for a dollar

from Royal Roast at Northlands Mall. No! Why are you paying more for the delivery of a roast potato? There's got to be a minimum order. So that can't be a business, unless it's the person running the company's Uber Eats account. Do you know I still haven't used Uber Eats? I refuse to.

Haven't you? Megan, I live close to every food imaginable. Yeah, but... Within 500 metres. What about... People in my apartment building still get Uber Eats. What about if you're in your Jam Jams and you don't want to get out? I'll just eat, I don't know, something from the pantry.

You are... That is such a... It's wasted that you don't have children. That's such a dad move. Dad, can we get Uber Eats? No, there's bloody perfectly good food in the pantry. There's tins of don't have children. That's such a dad move. Dad, can we get Uber Eats? No, there's bloody perfectly good food in the pantry. There's tins of tuna in the pantry. Get that out, make yourself some toast and put the tuna on the toast.

And put some cheese on and grill. That actually sounds pretty good. Yeah, I know. That tuna melt. That actually sounds pretty good, Dad. Producer Caitlin, you, Uber Eats, probably the most out of anyone here. Veg. Fudge. And then all three producers are Uber Eats.

Because James' girlfriend had her birthday last week and he put a video up of her getting excited when the Uber Eats arrived and it was honestly like, you know when there's a doorbell and a dog goes, ha ha! And there's this sheer moment of panic and a dog before it starts barking. I've never seen so much excitement. It was so great.

Right. Caitlin, what's the cheapest thing you've ordered from Uber Eats? Probably ice cream for like $4. I was going to say because you do different

you'll order dinner and then dessert. Yeah, but that was because it was the whole guy and I wanted to see if the whole guy was coming back. That's right.

He didn't come back. He didn't come back. Yeah. Probably saw you pop up again and decline. Where? Decline that job. The actual, the charge, the delivery charge was more expensive than the ice cream.

That's what it get me. I couldn't order anything where the delivery was going to outweigh the... The only reason I don't do it anymore is because I moved away from an Uber Eats zone. I'm hanging out for it to come back. I'm living in an Uber Eats Goldilocks period at the moment because we're getting more and more all the time. Sometimes I don't order it. I just log on to it to come back. I'm living in a Nuber Eats Goldilocks period at the moment because we're getting more and more all the time. Sometimes I don't order it. I just log on to see what's happening.

What have we got here? Korean once. I was so excited because I love Korean food. Yeah. It was okay. Is that your story? It wasn't as good as I'd hoped. Is that your story?

Guys, I wanted a Nuber Eats story. The hot guy doesn't come and doodle over my Uber Eats. I ordered Korean food once. I was so excited. It was all right. It was all right. Cold story. Cold story.

Well, I was hoping my excitement of Korean food would have passed through the story by Osmosis, but obviously it didn't. It didn't. No. It didn't. FBM. FBM. I spent the weekend at my parents' place.

My brother's kids are over from Australia, so we got all the cousins together. It was quite loud. Yeah. I don't know how people have five kids. I was looking after five kids at one stage. You spend your whole time, like, on guard. I think my parents probably regretted even having two boys.

Oh, these were all girls, so there was no fisticuffs. Right, until they get to Moody teenagers Yeah And then they'll be Well I know It's the opposite isn't it It's not always the fisticuffs

That hurts It's the words Or the lack of Everyone gets a silent treatment Yeah Yeah Well that could have been Better than screaming

At 130 decibels at times But it was We were playing All sorts of games And stuff around My parents house And so My parents have lived in the same house.

They've never sold a house. Really? I've never sold, they've lived in the same, this is the first house I've owned and they've lived there. Yeah. Wow. For a crazy amount of time. So like, it's like a time capsule of my stuff. If they do ever sell their house, they're going to have to change that carpet that everyone comments on when you put up a story.

That looks like the Nelson Airport carpet that's not there anymore. Remember that? My mum knows the brand of what kind of carpet it is. Every time I take a photo there and I put it on Instagram or mum's always like, people are going to ask about the carpet, tell them it's a blah, blah, blah.

And in the carpet's defence, it's lasted an insanely long time. They put the carpet in when they moved in there. So defence it's lasted an insanely long time they put the carpet in when they moved in there so that carpet's lasted 34 years yeah that's good that's good carpet

that's good carpet and spill a coffee on it no one knows I defy you to tell where you spilled it that just looks like one of the brown splotches it's why

it's why bus seats are so heavily patterned you can't see the stains yeah yeah it's the same with mum's carpet great idea anyway we got out different board games and stuff that we'd had over the years.

And there was a Connect Four. And inside on the Connect Four box, I put a photo on my Instagram. It's quite intense instructions written in vivid on the white bit that holds the frame for Connect Four. I wrote those instructions because it was my Connect Four that I got for my birthday. Right. How long ago? How old were you when you wrote them? Mum reckons I was about six.

Oh, wow. So I was quite impressed with, you know, the tight ship I was running on having fun with Connect Four because one of the ends broke because someone didn't pull it apart correctly. So the broken end always had to be stacked on top according to instructions in the box. That you wrote yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Remember, PS, have fun. Enjoy the game. That sort of... Because it was the first board game that I'd owned. Right. Everything was like a family board game. Yeah, right.

But this one I owned. So I wanted everyone to make sure they were following the rules. And that it was yours. Oh, board games, yeah. I was... And I messaged you. I said, I've never seen handwriting nicer from you. I know, yeah.

My handwriting was nicer as a six-year-old than... I actually won a couple of handwriting awards. And then you went rapidly downhill. It's all sloppy and joined together in a hurry now. But it was kind of a weekend of exploring. Okay. Because I wanted a whiskey after dealing with children. That many children. I don't know how...

Again, parents of five, I don't know how you're not full blown alcoholics, but just to relieve the stress, but mum and dad don't have any good whiskey glasses. Oh, yeah. They've got, their best glasses are old Natalia's. I know, and mum, I just. My parents don't have, like, I've got a set,

all my glasses are sets, and they're real nice. But my parents' glasses, there's one kind of that one, two of those ones. A free beer festival one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents got a souvenir glass from a place they stayed at in Hawaii once, and that was a pretty good whiskey glass, but that broke. Well, they don't need to buy new glasses.

And parents love saying when something from a souvenir breaks, they'll have to go back and get another one. Yeah. That's what they say about the Hawaii glass. Oh, well, we'll have to go back and get another one. No, Mum says she doesn't need to buy glasses because she just gets the glass Marmite from the supermarket. So once that's gone, she's got a little tumbler.

She's got four hipsters and they don't even know it. So I ventured into the China cabinet. Now, this is something that I think will be lost. My parents' generation will probably be the last generation that has a China cabinet. Yeah, my mum's got a cabinet with nice plates and stuff. They never use. Exactly.

So I went in and I was like, I want a decent tumbler, and I looked into the china cabinet and I was like, I've grown up looking at that glass and I've never used it. Well, today's the day. And I slid open the china cabinet, which has not been opened in years. It felt like Indiana Jones going into some old Egyptian tomb. Slide it open, reach in, grab the glass I want, slide it shut, go and give it a rinse

because it's got dust in it because it hasn't been used in 20 years. Rinse it all out, put some ice in, have a whiskey. Mum walks in literally the first day, where did you get that glass? It's like she's never seen it in her life. Literally, she walks past it 100 times a day. She's not even aware it's even she's never seen it in her life literally she walks past it a hundred times a day she's not even aware it's even in there

and I said I got it out of the china cabinet knowing that I'm now walking the gauntlet yeah yeah yeah because mums don't like the china cabinet being used and she's like be careful with that she's like

price position is it yeah well that's been around for a long time I'm like yeah how long she's like a long time she's got no, well, that's been around for a long time. I'm like, yeah, how long? She's like, a long time. She's got no idea how long it's been around. Right. So then I have my whiskey out of it, and then I just pop it on the bench. She's like.

I can see it's really getting to her. She's like. She gets out. Fills like a little bit of the sink with some dishwashing liquid. Washes it very carefully by hand, hand dries it. And I hear the China Academy door. And it gets placed ever so carefully back in there and closed. And I was like, oh, well, at least it got some use.

But now it's super obvious because it's the only thing that's clean in there. So now every time she walks past, she's going to look and see that that's the clean glass that's going to drive her crazy. My mum's the same. I'm always like, when we're having a dinner, I was like, why don't we use the nice plates that are in this cupboard and all the nice stuff? She's like, oh no. What are you, what's it there for?

What's it there for? Just use it. Why do I want to look at a cabinet of glasses and plates that you never use? My wife wanted these nice cabinets when we did our kitchen. And there's wine glasses in them. And I just opened it up and got one down when mum was there. And she's like, what are you using those ones for?

I'm like, because they're wine glasses. She's like, but those are display, aren't they? I don't care. They were like $20 for six of them from Kmart. Like smash one for fun if you want. We're not going to care. We're a very wasteful generation. Maybe she's becoming a parent, you know, an old.

Like a grandparent. Yeah. If she's wanting a cabinet full of glasses that you don't want to use. Oh, my wife. Yeah, your wife. No, no, no. She's fine with using it. It's my mum that said, what are you using that for? I'm like,. Oh, my wife. Yeah, your wife. Oh, no, no, no. She's fine with using it. It's my mum that said,

what are you using that for? I'm like, who cares? Get in, smash one for fun. Well, that's the thing. There's five of them now because I accidentally dropped one. See, there's literally one I'm going to grab out.

I'm going to do it today. I'm going to go home. I'm going to pull it out and smash it because glasses don't come in sets of five. They come in sets of four. So you can't have

an uneven amount of glasses. Okay. I rejigged the whole cupboard so you can't see it. It's at the back hiding behind four. It's bad news for online shoppers. I've seen this and economists are saying that New Zealand's dollar will fall even more by the end of the year, which means, of course, if you're doing online shopping,

it's not going to be, it might not even be worth it. The story I read was it's going to fall to levels of the last global financial crisis. What did it get down to then? 50 cents on the dollar? Low. Yeah, that's right. It did too. So even in online

not only online shopping, but if you're planning holidays, especially to like Hawaii or the United States, and it's so cheap to get to Hawaii now. Like GrabCenter are always having specials, aren't they? You can get there for like 400 bucks one way. Yeah, but when you're there. Yeah, when you're there, that's what I'm saying.

Now everything's going to be quite expensive. Yeah. Actually, it does say here it fell as low as 49 cents for the below 50. How high was it recently? Did it go to the 90s? No, it got to 70. It's been 70s for quite a while. Yeah. I think it's 60 odd at the moment. 64 US cents.

I've actually started noticing it when looking at stuff online. Have you? Yeah. You're just like, that's not as cheap as it used to be. Even the Australian dollar. I do heaps of online shopping. Ask me. Vaughan, have you noticed? Oh yeah, dude. Oh bro. You haven't noticed at all, have you?

No, I didn't. No. Your wife will, will I have? She better bloody not have. She better not have noticed. But end of October is when they do the Black Friday. Is it Black Friday and something Monday? Cyber Monday. It's after Thanksgiving. That's what I do my Christmas shopping.

It's the kick off of Christmas shopping. It's always a massive day. But other than that, by the end of the year, it might not even be worthwhile doing online shopping. And even people, retailers in New Zealand are having to import this stuff. So that's going to be more expensive for them. That's going to be more

expensive for us. But it's great news for exporters so if you've got heaps of logs if you've got heaps of processed logs

hanging around I got rid of all my logs you got rid of your logs yeah you got rid of your logs at the wrong time buddy hang on to the end of the year

they'll want our logs because they can get more logs for the same amount of money but the money will mean more to us I'll get rid of all my lamb exports too. Oh, you went

early on lamb. I did tell you to wait to look for lamb. I did tell you. What about your whole milk powder? Yeah, I've got rid of all that too. Come on, man! I'm trying to teach you how to be an exporter. I've got nothing to export. I saw this. You're out. You're out of the game, baby. I'm just on the other end. I'm just going to have to pay way more.

So I guess if you're thinking about online shopping, do it now before it gets any lower. And if you're going overseas over Christmas. Do it now. Change your money now if you can. Yeah, that's probably going to help you a little bit. This happened at the weekend at a art auction in the UK. Banksy's very famous picture of the girl with the balloon.

Yeah, with the red balloon. This was brilliant. Everything about this story and what happened is brilliant. It was at Sotheby's. Yeah. The auction house. It was auctioned and it went for one million pounds. Yeah, now they claim they knew nothing of what happens next.

They wouldn't have because Banksy doesn't share his secrets. After it was bid on, it turns out the frame that the picture was in was actually also a shredder. And it half shredded it. It fed down through the bottom part

of the frame and came out in ribbons. And I love that it stopped. I don't know if it was meant to intentionally stop. It stopped halfway? Yeah, but I kind of like that it's left it half destroyed, dangling. Yeah, so it's dangling underneath now and it destroyed it. Because he knew that this would be sold eventually, didn't he? Yeah, I think so. That was his thing when he put up the video afterwards.

He said, I bought this in case it ever went to auction. I would shred it. What, so it's been in the frame for ages? A year. In that same frame? In the frame. And so it's been in the frame for ages? Yeah. In that same frame? In the frame. And so it would have had a battery in it? Well, he didn't, he stopped short of saying how he made it go at that point in time, like

whether he was in the room or... Well, that's what somebody said, he was in the room and it was remote control. Because there's a blurry photo of a guy that they're saying, do you know that famous photo of that guy with the curly hair, the glasses that's next to his car? There's that photo. His name's Robin. The Daily Mail did an expose a few years ago, and they reckon this guy looks like him. One of the guys in the room caught on camera, but it's a blurry photo.

You know when they see the Loch Ness or the Yeti? You can't quite make it out. It's always a bit blurry. But yeah, so the person who bought it you'd think they might be gutted they're not because now it's worth two million pounds

it's like four million double its value like if I reckon even more than that like yeah

you'd have to just now encase the whole situation the frame and the half shredded bit down the bottom yeah and resell it and then imagine you sell it

and then it shreds the whole thing. It just keeps something, every time it gets sold, something crazier happens. But it got me to thinking, if I'd purchased that, it would have annoyed me because I bought it,

but then it was ruined before I got to do anything with it. Ruins is a subjective term because as we said, now it's worth more because of the whole story around it, I'm imagining. Yeah, true.

But I was wondering if anybody's ever bought something, but it's been ruined before they've been able to use it. Yeah, like you go and buy a brand new TV from a store and you drop it. You drop it when you're putting it on the wall

or even before you get it home in the car. Yeah. Something happens in the car, you hear a crack, you're like, what was that? Please don't let it be the deal. Or you go to unbox your new phone, your thousand dollar smartphone. It just slips out

of the little cradle. Or in and into water. If it fell into water before you'd even used it or smashed on the floor. But yeah, we were just wondering if anybody, has it ever happened to you guys? Have you broken anything before you got the chance to use it? I don't think so.

I don't think of anything. I mean, I'm quite careful. Yeah, when I buy something, I'm very careful. It's when I've had it for a month that I stopped caring about it. Yeah, yeah. Case in point, cars.

You're true. Just start back at it. I'm going to keep this clean forever. Yeah. Oh, this is new car, new me. I'm going to wash this thing. This thing's going to get oil. It's going to get an oil change.

All right. 0800 DALS at M9696. You can text in. What did you wreck before you could use it? Yeah. You bought something. Bought it but broke it before you got to use it. All right.

Give us a call. I don't know what you've broken before you've even got it home or you've got to use it. Lots of text messages in. We'll start with those. Yeah, some text messages. My husband bought a pair of socks. Might not seem a big deal, but he doesn't buy much.

He went to cut off the plastic tag holding them together and cut a big hole in his socks before he even got to wear them. I'm always so careful when I need to cut that tag. I don't even pull it apart anymore. I always cut it. No, see, I'm so impatient and every time I'm like, just rip it off and then I'm like, just ruin that pair of undies.

What have I done? Yeah. Somebody else said, I purchased some new shoes. Couldn't wait to wear them, so I put them straight on or straight on before leaving the store. Then had to fill my car up with petrol. While I was filling up my car, petrol squirted back out of the tank and all over my new shoes.

They were never the same again. No. You'd never get that stink out, would you? No. My first ever phone, I was 12, and someone said you could find online instructions to getting free credit. Oh, no. Ended up locking the whole phone. Even the manufacturers

couldn't fix it. Do you know, was it your friend Grant that we said his phone was waterproof? Yeah. He did not believe you. Or everyone was drunk.

We put it in a sink with water. You are so... But we told him it was. It was a waterproof phone. But didn't it weirdly last quite a while? I think it did, yeah.

Underwater? You always say these stupid things with such a stone face that your trusted friends believe you. I know. I'm always like, is it? Is it? And then we say, lesson learned. Don't believe a word I say.

Don't listen to Vaughan. Never trust anybody. Jen, what did you wreck before you got to use it? Well, it wasn't me. Yeah. It was my flatmate. Yeah. Who shall remain nameless. I want to call him Nick.

Okay. Nick, okay. He went ham in a TV with my other flatmate who should also remain nameless, but her name is Sez. Okay. And they had a little bit of spare money, so Nick decided to buy one of those electronic helicopters. Okay.

What are we talking about? Are we talking a drone? Are we talking quite an expensive one? No, no, no, not like a drone, but one of those like... Those toy helicopters that are actually quite hard to fly. Yeah, yeah. Very, very good point, Megan. Very hard to fly.

Very hard to fly. We lived in a townhouse, so we didn't really have much of a lawn. So Nick unpacked the TV, put it on the table, hadn't even turned it on at this stage, bearing in mind the guy was like, do you want a warranty? And Nick was like, nah, what's going to happen to it? Oh, God. And he started the helicopter, took off, hit the TV.

Oh, good stuff. That's two for the price of one. So the helicopter's ruined and the TV's broken stuff that's two that's two for the price of one so the helicopter's ruined and the TV's broken as well yeah yeah and then he rang the place and was like

yeah so I got that warranty and the guy and he explained explained the situation and the guy was like ha ha

and hung up on him brilliant but then that I bet that that story would have sold some warranties I bet yeah That guy would have said

Well what's going to happen to her Well let me tell you a story About a man named Nick Mel What did you wreck Before you got to use it Not me But my three year old

Okay We were shopping At the warehouse And he got a new box of crayons Which is a big deal Yeah For a three yearyear-old. We paid for them and walked out the door and he dropped them on the ground.

And there was not a single unbroken crayon in the box. That's a reflection on the crayons. That's a pastel material. That's pastel material breaking so easy. Mate, they were crayola. They were top of the line. They were top of the line. If you drop a crayon from height, it's going to break.

Not if it's all in the pack. You'd think as a group they would have had students. Well, we didn't find out until we got home, and there was not a single unbroken crayon on there. He was devastated. You can use a broken crayon. You can still colour with a broken crayon. But it's not the same.

It's not the same, Vaughan. You're getting a brand-new crayon. It's not like a colouring pencil. When someone drops a colouring pencil, and it just breaks the lead, all the graphite all the way through. Oh, that's an absolute nightmare. All right, Mel, thanks.

You call. Some text messages in. When I was in the police force, I attended an accident where the guy had got a brand new boat for Christmas and was driving so fast down the road, he turned a corner and the boat trailer flipped. Shouldn't laugh, but that's pretty funny. Written off.

Brand new boat. Apparently he'd previously written off a brand new boat as well. His wife said last time he shored it. He like hit the shore too hard with it on his first time out. I don't think he's meant to be a boat owner. No, I don't think. He has no luck with boats whatsoever. I don't think so either.

Moosh Monday Just what you need Right in the feels After a weekend Of Maybe a big weekend Maybe a repulsive weekend Yeah Maybe a small

Maybe completely average Forgettable weekend An emotional song From someone's Teenage years And joining us this morning Is Ashley Good morning Ashley Good morning Alright Small, maybe completely average, forgettable weekend. An emotional song from someone's teenage years. And joining us this morning is Ashley. Good morning, Ashley. Good morning.

All right, so what year are we going back to? Like, tell us what was happening when this song was kind of your emotional song. My emotional moment. I was, I think, 16. Okay. Throwing it back to the alpine ice skating rink in Christchurch. And it's not a particularly romantic song, but it was the banger of the time. And so we went ice skating for my 16th birthday, so it was my 16th.

And my boyfriend at the time went up to, well, he wasn't my boyfriend then, he went up to the DJ and he asked for the song. And so we skated around holding hands and then while we were mid-skating, he went down on one knee and asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm picturing like Blades of Glory. Yeah, yeah. Will Ferrell type situation here when he goes down on one knee. It was so cute.

How long did the relationship last? Only like three months. Oh, right. Okay. And then when we broke up, it was quite good because it was like our love song, but then it became the breakup song as well. Oh, okay. Versatile.

A versatile song. Dual purpose. Versatile, yeah. Right, it's versatile. A versatile song. Dual purpose. So versatile, yeah. Right, okay. And do you still, like, see him now? Do you know where he is now? Is he the one that got away? Yeah, no, kind of the one that got away,

but I'm with someone else now, so. Oh, okay. So you don't want to dwell on the dude who at 16 was skating around on one knee. Situation. Have you been able to take the new boyfriend to the skating rink, or is that kind of, that's off limits because that was your place?

Oh, bless. No, he's a bit uncoordinated for that. His heart's in the right place. It is. Alright, so let's go back to 16-year-old you. You're at the skating rink. Your boyfriend asked the DJ to put on the song. Introduce your most Mondays

for us, Ashley. So my Mosh Monday is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Good one. Brilliant. All right, it's Mosh Monday on ZM. We'll do it all Everything On our own

We don't need anything or anyone If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? We are now at Upper Session Road I feel Those three words Are said too much They're not enough If I lay here If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads If I lay here

If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars, Ashley's, Mosh Monday. That was an incredible moment in Grey's Anatomy, right? I was going to say, was that a Grey's Anatomy song? It was. Was it when Danny died?

It was when someone died. Yeah. Yeah. But that song was huge, right? That was like a number one song when that came out. It was a wedding song. Yeah. Got a good thrashing for a couple of wedding seasons after that.

Good feedback. Yeah. Someone said, I wasn't emotional before, but I sure am now. Somebody said, took me right back to the Grey's Anatomy feels. Yes. Yeah, right. They were draped back, kicking and screaming. If you've got a song that reminds you of your emotional teenage years

and maybe you got broken up with, you can send us a message on our Facebook page, FVNZN, because you could be next Monday's Mosh Monday. We're giving away fuel every 15 minutes, every day this week during the show between 6 and 9. Our next batch? 7 minutes 38, 37, 36. Right.

Yep. Easy. Now, it has been 10 years since we first met Megan. Vaughan and I first met Megan. Started working with Megan on the 8th of the 10th. How did you remember that? Mostly because it's palindromic. And you've got a lot of flashback.

And we put up a photo yesterday of the three of us. Yeah, and, you know, I don't want to say I was hurt, but the main comments on the story was, Megan, your brows are way better now. They are, thank you. Even I couldn't admit that. Fletch, you haven't aged. Vaughn, you've aged.

Like, nice, nice, ouch. What have you been rubbing on your face for the past 10 years to keep yourself so youthful looking? What have you been? Coconut oil. Coconut oil. Coconut oil. Is that the secret to your everlasting youth? I don't know.

Right. No children, no worries. I think when they do age, it'll just be all at once. You're not, ah, right. Yeah, I don't know. You're just going to suddenly turn a corner. You're not stealing the youth, eh? You're not stealing youth off the youth, eh?

You're like a vampire of... I haven't found the secret to not ageing. I don't know. I'll just take it, sure. Okay. So we thought today, because we have been friends now for 10 years, Megan and work... Well, initially work mates and now friends.

Now friends, yes. You're finally elevated to friends. You don't want to commit straight away on day one do you? No. What if we didn't like you? Yeah. We thought we would now give you five things each that we love about you we don't have to do this yay 10 years now i'm gonna go first and then we're gonna come back and vaughn's gonna do his five things that he likes slash yes say the best till last because i think we all know fletches are gonna be interesting heartfelt okay interesting. Heartfelt? Okay.

Okay. Number one. The five things that I like about Megan. I like how you always reply to group chats and always answer my calls and texts straight away. I feel like that's sarcasm. Yes, it is. Hey, you called me the other day and I

answered. You did. How weird was that talking on the phone? You answered the phone and you said, hello? Yeah, and then you talk in a real serious voice. We had to organise things. I know, it was weird. But it was weird that you answered the phone because you never answered the phone. And I thought something was wrong.

That's why she said hello curiously is because she doesn't quite know how they work properly. Yeah. Okay, the five things that I like about you. Number two, I like how you always take your shoes off on the plane and your feet smell like roses. Are we just going to go for a theme of sarcasm this whole time? I'm saying... My shoes, okay, so that one time they were like, they're loafers.

So I had no socks on and they just slip on off you know well wear an ankle sock you don't wear ankle socks with loafers Air New Zealand had to decontaminate that plane afterwards

it wasn't that bad it was pretty bad what was like what is that smell I thought an old man had shit himself there was an old guy like two seats in front

and honestly I was like how old is he like shit himself I'm pretty sure that happened with an old guy at the gym the other day. I was like, that's not a fart. I need to move cross trainers.

Oh, no. Immediately. Oh, no. Poor old fella. Okay, the five things that I like about Megan. Number three, I like how because you're always eating dust and polysaurine crackers, I can have all the chocolate and cake that you don't want. That's selfless of you.

That's very selfless of you. Yeah, okay. That's a given. Number four, the things that I like about Megan. I like how you never get sick of me tagging you in stories from podiatrists about long-term damage from wearing high heels. You still get tagged in those as much as you used to? Not as much.

Not as much. No. Right. But yeah, lots of people like to tell me that it alters the way that you walk and then eventually I'll have like bunions

and I get tagged in a lot of bunion things. And apparently Victoria Beckham had to have her bunions shaved but she kept it on the down low. I don't know. I got tagged in it.

What is a bunion? Is it the hard bit? Yeah. Is it bone? Is it those? Bone deformity or it comes out the side of your big toe? Have you seen those things

at the supermarket that like, they like shave your foot at the bottom? I've got one. What the hell is that? Is that a bunion? Like a sander

and it's got diamond-y something in it. Yeah, but what is it for? Like for bunions? It's to get rid of your like dead skin and stuff. You can't get rid of a bunion. Can't you?

It's an enlargement of the joint at the base of the big toe. Oh, right. It occurs as a result of the misalignment of the bones of the big toe. Right. So yeah, it's high heel related because it forces the toe into the next toe. Yeah, I know. And then the joint pushes out. Because I get tagged in it often.

Yeah, that's why a tanker don't want you to have a bunion. How did Victoria Beckham get her bunion shaved? The bone shaved. Oh. I mean, it could have been tabloid. We't want you to have a bunion. How did Victoria Beckham get her bunion shaved? The bone shaved. Oh. I mean, it could have been tabloid. We're not sure it's factual. Oh. Okay.

Hallux vulgus. The last one, Megan, and my five things that I like about you on our 10th anniversary of working together. Yeah. I like that you never mention when you can't log on to your email because the password's wrong again. She doesn't. Never mentions it.

She'll never mention it. Never once. Do you know why? It's because you're always like, oh, Nana, let me come and help you. It's like, no, my password's not recognised. I know how to log in. When's the last time you couldn't log in because your password was wrong? And the time before that?

Thursday. Do you know what it is? They send us a thing saying, change your email password. So I did. I changed it straight away. For the first time ever, I followed the instruction and ever since,

it's just absolutely shattered. I always ignore that. It's working for the rest of us, Megan. My password's not working. I didn't change my password and it's remained, it's remained. Well, I feel like that was quite,

that was quite emotional for you. Yeah. Quite steeped in sarcasm. So I'm going to, your honour, I would like that was quite emotional for you. Yeah. Quite steeped in sarcasm. So I'm going to, Your Honour, I would like to apply for recess to rework my five, which were also a little bit sarcastic. Okay. So we'll come back next and I will have remedied five heartfelt ones. Are you going to make them less sarcastic?

Yes. More heartfelt. Yeah, more heartfelt. Okay. So the five things Vaughan likes about Megan next. But it has been 10 years, Megan, of us working together. Today, our 10th anniversary. Tin.

Tin. In case you're wondering. Not diamonds. Or gold. Or aluminium. Or anything exciting. Did you get me a tin present? I'll buy you a Coke Zero after the show.

Because you love those. And a tin. Yes. Yes, your present. That's why it's in aluminium. You don't And a 10. Yes. Yes, you present. That's why it's in aluminium. You don't get a present as such. No, I appreciate that. You get us saying nice things.

Now, if you've just tuned in, I've just done five things that I like about Megan. Well, now it is time for Vaughan. I just wanted sad music because it makes it more heartfelt, doesn't it? Yeah. It's all about setting me right. Don't actually do heartfelt ones. You're not going actually do heartfelt ones. The five things that I love about Megan. Not afraid to say love.

I said love. You said it once and then you backpedaled the entire rest of the time, really like going, like. Did you see my list was love, love, love? Yeah. It feels weird saying that. That's why he hasn't changed in 10 years He hasn't spent any

Of his life energy force on emotion Whereas some of us are draining ourselves a lot I aged a lot in 10 years The five things we love about Megan Making it 10 in total You learn so much all the time And the things we've taught you Make us feel far smarter than we deserve to feel.

Sometimes I just do that so that you feel smart. And I appreciate that. I don't care if you're faking it as long as I feel like it's real. And that goes for all aspects of my life, wife included. Number four on my list of things we love about Megan.

You're great at being sent behind enemy lines when I kind of know what Sade wants for a gift but I don't have exact details handbag for last Christmas case in point

yeah she got colour what's the status anxiety I'm like oh it's not an emotion it's a handbag yeah but I don't know what

because it turns out handbag places make more than one handbag yeah I know they make many kinds yes confusing and number three Yeah, but I don't know what, because it turns out handbag places make more than one handbag. Yeah. I know they make many kinds. Yes. Confusing.

And number three, kind of related, you're the best at finding the cheapest version of something online. Thank you. Of anyone I know. Like every single person here has benefited. And Ross was in here before, he's benefited. Jeans and shoes, you're welcome. He's just all in black in the corner against a black door, perfectly camouflaged. I didn't benefit last weekend when I drunk bought those shoes, did I? No, you lost $60 because you didn't ask me first.

Silly. But it was a lesson learned. It was. It certainly was. You shouldn't have branched out on your own. I know. You still need Megan. I tried to be independent, but I can't do it.

To hunt your online shop. Yeah. Number two on the list of things we love about Megan. You put in far too much effort to look presentable for us every day. That's an actual compliment. I know. We look like sacks of shit.

Well, speak for yourself. Well, I don't need to because I was told on that photo we put online. Jeez, Ruan, you're arranged. Well, I've got two kids and a mortgage. You're right. This line. This line. That line.

We're all getting older. We'd still love you even if you put in half the effort. Maybe even as low as a quarter of the effort. But I've seen you once full no makeup. It did scare me a little bit. Yeah, and Fletch has too, and he literally went, ah! I didn't realise it was you for like two minutes. I was like, who's this strange girl talking to me?

Who's this weirdo in track pants? It's like when you see Lady Gaga out of the costume. I know. Yeah. I don't have track pants anymore, purely because you screamed when I wore them. You don't get rid of track pants. I have the track pants. And the number one thing we love about Megan,

you're making us all better people on the daily. And that includes, I believe, the listeners as well. You give us fresh perspectives, balanced opinions, and very progressive ideas. You're a strong and courageous woman who is a great role model for all the Wahine. And I do solemnly, I do

really very much believe that. That was really sweet. No, It's awesome I hear you defending yourself against some people with some pretty old school conservative views and I always think you've always got great opinions Thanks

It's a pleasure. Ten years today See, it's really nice when people say nice things about other people's legs We love you We really really like you. Listen to the way my voice goes when I cry. I can't stop it from making that noise. I know, I've cried on the show too.

Bring it down a little bit. Here we go. Thanks, that was really sweet. Can't help but notice you didn't cry at my list when I read my list out. Yeah, something to work on, Fletch. Okay, have to work on. For the next 10 years.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I just really want to follow up Friday's Fact of the Day. I'll broadcast equipment. Shit itself, halfway. That's a technical term. Halfway through Fact of the Day. I'll broadcast equipment. Shit itself, halfway. That's a technical term. Yeah. Halfway through Fact of the Day. It was about the Jandal.

It turned 61 years old last week, the Jandal. I'll just give you a brief overview. Okay. There was contention as to who should own the copyright of the name Jandal. Yeah. Because a couple of guys wanted it. And they're owned by Scalarup, the people that make the red band gumboots and red band jandals. Yeah, they do jandals.

So if anybody else was like jandals and called the product jandals, they can't. What are Havianas? Just Havianas. Havianas. And it's Japanese sandal. That's what it stands for. That's why it's called a jandal.

And the guy who did it, Morris Yerke, his granddaughter, for those who in any way follow politics, is Leila Hare, the woman that was the leader of the internet party, Kim Dotcom's party. We're her. Right. It was her grandad. Okay, we've covered that off. Okay, let's cover it off.

Just before we get to today's Fact of the Day, can I just remind people that not this Wednesday, but next Wednesday, we will be hosting our next Fact of the Day pub quiz. $1,000 to the winning team. We will be in Christchurch. At Cleaver & Co. So the actual date is the 17th of October. You can register at ZM Online. Make sure you register your team.

Why are you looking at me like that? No, it's good. I'm just thinking. Good. It's lots of time to get ready. Yes. And there is $1,000 up for grabs for the winning team. And we're going to say thank you to Air New Zealand's Grabber Seat

for getting us down there as well. Now, are we going to do an Airbnb again? No. As long as I get the master room, I've got no complaints. I slept in a single bed in a room with Anya. She was sick and she snored. And I mean, I don't want to make her feel bad about it because she was sick and she couldn't help it.

Well, and I had the fold-out bed that was rock solid, had a bar in my back all night. I mean, you were in a food coma, so you were right. Yeah, I literally woke up, I was like, I didn't die. What happened? I had a massive room, huge bed, all to myself. I did hear Anya cough once

through the wall. It was horrible. You had a sliding door out onto the balcony. Yep, yep. Wasted that. Didn't open it that many times, but still had fun. So today's fact of the day, fresh fact of the day, is since the year 2000, Lego sets have been a better investment than gold.

Wow. Okay. So Lego sets, pristine, this is Lego sets that are unopened, collectors Lego sets, have been appreciating at 12%. Gold on the same has been returning 9.6%. Okay. 9.6%. So. 9.6%. So you would have been better since the year 2000 to,

I mean, you'd have to know. You'd have to have a bit of inside word on Lego of how many were being made and what ones were going to get stopped. But they've been appreciating 12%. And when they cancel them, like when they say that we're not making that anymore, they can jump as much as 36% in value.

Wow. okay. So if you worked at Lego, that wouldn't be insider trading, would it? Just to take one off the production line and keep it at home. Well, they always say you should buy two Lego sets, one to collect and one to actually build. But then Lego's not cheap,

so who's got that sort of cash kicking around? Who's that rich, exactly? So how long do you have to wait before you sell it again? Well, that's the thing. It just keeps going up. Right. Right. I'm going to get into this.

Because I don't really like building it. So I could just buy it and then put it in the cupboard. And completely. There's our retirement in there, Andrew. No playing. No. You've opened one. I'm not happy about it.

That's why you've got to buy two. So you can kill the curiosity before it bankrupts you. So today's fact of the day is since the year 2000, Lego sets have been a better investment than gold. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm going to tell you a story about something that happened to me yesterday.

I just mentioned it to the guys and Fletch is convinced I was scammed. Oh, you were hustled. Hustled. Absolute hustle. Warn you think what? You're on the fence. No, I don't think it was a hustle. It was just generally a nice thing to do.

I'm too cynical, eh? This is my problem. So I was headed down to, at the cloud, there was an event yesterday that my husband and I were going to. So we parked in a parking building, which is like a 10-minute walk away. Okay. So nothing for us, but it's quite far for an older couple.

And so we were in the parking building and I hear this, excuse me. And that's when I find out that her name's Mary and Mary and her husband needed to make the ferry. So it was quarter to 10 and they were going for the 10 o'clock sailing. Good luck. So they, and in this car park building, it's really difficult to find the entrance down onto the road. So she, that's what she was asking me. She's like, how do we actually get out of this parking building?

Is that the one just over here? Yeah. Through here? Yeah. Council one. Yeah. You have to pay for it. That is such a confusing building.

Yeah. And there's all these arrows pointing and you're like, well, where are the actual stairs? And sometimes the doors are just locked. Yeah. For no apparent reason. So Mary and Bill were struggling. Now, I was directing and I was confused myself. I ended up having to walk down one way

and then I felt really bad because it was the wrong way. So Mary and Bill had to follow us another way. So we end up carrying Bill's bag and that's when Mary tells us that Bill is 94 and he's walking, but I mean, he's slow.

So we carry Bill's bag and we end up like walking down the stairs. How big a bag are we talking? It would have been a carry-on luggage like he'd put. Like they were going overnight somewhere. A little suitcase, yeah. But it was wheelie, but Bill was struggling with the stairs because he's 94. So we carried his bags.

That's so old, eh? I don't want to ever get that old. Unless they've invented like some medicine that makes us. I'm probably throwing myself down the stairs. Yeah. Who's out? No, but they were really excited. They were going to Waiheke and they were really excited. I don't know. I didn't actually get to asking what on earth they were doing

around here. Probably going to Stoney Ridge. Yeah. So we walked down and in the end I said to her, we're getting quite close to the sailing. Have you got your tickets? And she said she had a bop card. What's a bop card? A hop card. Oh, bless. She called it a bop card. She's like, I have a bop card. What's a bop card? A hop card. Oh, bless.

Bless. She called it a bop card. She's like, I have a bop card. Because you bop on. You bop on with a bop card. You bop. She's like, I've got a bop card and it gets me on for free. So I don't need a ticket.

Because I was going to run ahead and get her a ticket to make sure she could get on. But so you were carrying their bags. Yeah. This whole way. And at this point. They knew. No, at this point I was like, this is on me now. That they have to make it.

I can't walk away. I can't walk away now. And then I was worried Bill was going to trip. So I'm walking with Bill being like, step here, Bill. All right, let's go a little bit faster to make this crossing. We're just going to cross. Watch your step, Bill. And we eventually get to the ferry just as it's about to sail.

So I explained to the person running the gangway plank, could they please let them on because we've walked a long way and she's got her BOP card. So they end up making it on and that's when Mary grabs my hand and she was like, thank you so much for taking the time for us today. I have bone cancer and Bill's 94. So we're really excited about our wee trip away to Waiheke. God, I nearly had another wee cry.

But I saw them, they got on the boat and they sailed away. They made it. Did they make away to Waiheke. God, I nearly had another wee cry. But I saw them. They got on the boat and they sailed away. They made it. Did they make it to Waiheke? Well, they were on the boat. Bill jumped off halfway because that would be another way I'd do it at 94. I'd go on a cruise and I'd just be like, I'm just going up for a drink. Splash.

Bill didn't say much. Mary did all the talking. That's the case with older couples though. My grandparents were both the same. Yeah. Yeah, Nana, you know, Nana took the helm when it came to talking, and Papa just kind of sat there and let it happen and occasionally made a noise to let her know she'd overstepped the mark.

Yeah, because she kept on saying, Bill, you all right? And he was like, uh. I'm good on you for helping. Now, what, I told you this story this morning, and Fletch said. See, if I was their age, I'd be totally always trying to get people to help me. Even if I was like 60-something. Like, can you help me with my bags? I've got a sore back or something.

I'd just try it on. I see old people cutting into airport lines all the time. And they know what they're doing. I'm not saying they were cutting in or that they were hustling you. But don't you just let them? Because... No! They can line up too.

We're all human. Yeah, but, you know, like, let them get on first because they take ages, put their bags away. They might have sore bits. Get them to sit down first. Yeah, they need to sit down before you need to sit down. Get them in their seat. I don't know, the last time this happened to me,

the woman pushed right in front of me and I made noises. I bet you did. She was fine. She could walk. She was only, like, 60-something, but she knew what she was. She was acting all like, oh bet you did. She was fine. She could walk. She was only like 60 something, but she knew what she was. She was acting all like, oh, where's the line?

I don't know. I do that. That's me in traffic every day. Lane ends in 200 metres. Everyone's got over. I'm like, la-di-da-di-da, la-di-da.

I didn't know. Oh, thank you. You're that person. That is me to a T. I'm not waiting in that line. That's going to a T. I'm not waiting in that line. That's going to take ages. I'm going to drive as fast as I can up to the end at Nippon.