ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 09 2018

Episode Date: October 8, 2018

Vaughan does a handstand, Radio Doctor makes a return and your cute relationship rules.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. ZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'll be right as sure. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning.

Good morning. Some more cold weather on the way. Yeah, they said there's going to be quite a bit of snow. So I wore shorts yesterday for the first time. Did you guys notice? No, I didn't actually. I wore shorts to work. Well, you have your legs under the desk, so I don't see.

I thought you'd worn shorts previous to that. No. Not in this side of winter. No, not this side of winter. It's just this year's going so fast. It just feels like April was yesterday when we were seeing your beautiful legs, you know? I know, I know. Yeah, maybe I've just dreamt of them.

Well, if it's going to be cold the next couple of days, I'll go back to pants. Go back to pants, yeah. I fell asleep on the deck last night. In the sun. I've got sunburn on my bum. Well, not on my bum. Just below my bum because I had, like, undies on. I was going to say.

Just below my bum. You get your undies out on the island yeah we're getting your eyes being built opposite us so i'm like i'm sure the builder can see my bum but oh well well you'll be on your neighborhood watch yeah i actually should check the community page how long ago i was driving down the road i've got a very bright reflection an eyeful it's coming from the wrong side. It wasn't where the sun was setting at all. But yeah, no, it felt like... It was hot. Yeah, it felt good in summery

so that's why it's really weird to think more snow's on the way. Alright, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Alright, three news headlines for three news stories that I've found online. And I think I just got a hiccup just then. Don't get caught.

Or is it pending? Pending hiccups. Pending hiccups, maybe. We'll see if we can get through this. Three headlines. You guys pick the best one and we'll delve into that story. Headline one, truck doesn't last long on bike path. Headline two, snap crap launches.

And headline three, Lamborghini. Lamborghini. Lamborghini. Oh, not ba-a-a. You're going ba-a-a like screaming. Like Lamborghini. Oh, I did the Lamborghini crash. Yes.

That was the, I think I saw in the news that Lamborghini spun out. It was like when people ride off really expensive cars. I know. Is that the Kiwis in us? Yeah. I think so. I think it's the Kiwi in us. Yeah.

Sucker. What was that Snapcrack, did you say? Snapcrack launches. Snapcrack. Mm. Snapchat. Something's wrong?

Yeah, okay. And the first one was Truck doesn't last long on bike path Okay You know what would last less time A bike on a truck path True I think I wanted snap crap Snap crap was the right word wasn't it

Yeah snap crap Okay we go to San Francisco Have you guys been to San... I've not been to San Fran, no. Your parents have been there? I only just learned that Silicon Valley is literally just out of San Francisco. Yeah.

I always thought Silicon Valley was closer to Las Vegas. No. I don't know why. You thought it was in a valley. Well, I mean, I guess it is in a valley, but... Yeah. Yeah, right.

Well, your parent, your mum won a trip in a magazine, didn't she, to San Fran? To San Francisco, yeah. They weren't huge fans. Did she win that in the magazine, didn't she, to San Francisco? To San Francisco, yeah. They were huge fans. Did she win that in a magazine? It's why she likes Mark Ruffalo, because it was a Mark Ruffalo movie. She said to me, now, do I bother seeing this?

And it was about the Avengers. Oh, my God. Do I bother seeing this? I love that she feels indebted to him, to Mark Ruffalo. No, she's like, no, no, to go and see any film he's in. Any film. Yeah. He's a great actor, though. And I said, oh, it's like, no, no, to go and see any film he's in. Any film. Yeah. He's a great actor, though.

And I said, oh, it's all comic books, superheroes and stuff. And she's like, oh, no. And then when I met him, when I went for the Thor Ragnarok, she's like, did you tell him about the trip? You should have brought him. You should have. Can you imagine that? I mean, you only get five minutes with these people.

My mum really loves you because it was one of your movies she won a trip to San Fran for. Yeah, she just likes Mark Ruffalo because he got her a trip to San Fran. Well, we go to San Fran now for this news story and a newcomer to San Francisco, Sean Miller, he moved there from Vermont. So I'm imagining, you know, you're moving from Vermont,

which I've never been, but it sounds like a lovely picturesque area. Yeah, very white. One with nature. Yes. And, of course, the disgusting streets of San Francisco. He, I guess, was a little bit shocked because, I don't know, for those that have been to San Francisco, it's no surprise,

a lot of homeless people. Yeah. It's a small city. Well, it was a surprise for Ian and Christine. That's one of the things they always talk about. And you can certainly wander into some dodgy areas because it's a small city, kind of a square grid, and, yeah, you can be in some dodgy areas,

and it's, yeah, it's a bit gross and a bit grimy. Well, he moved there. He was astonished by the amount of public grime, and so he has released and invented SnapCrap. Over the weekend, users could download this app when they were in San Francisco, and they could request cleaning on the streets. So if you see a hypodermic needle, a syringe.

Okay, something you don't want to touch. Or a poo. Yep. Or a vom. These are all things I wouldn't touch. You snap it, and I'm guessing the City Works Department, which have got their own app apparently to report things, but it's not as good as this.

Right. It gets passed on to them. Is it some council in New Zealand, a couple of councils do this? It's not Auckland. I think it's Hamilton. Right. And was it Wellington? Christchurch.

Christchurch definitely had it. You take a picture, like if someone's graffitied something or there's, I don't know, something's wrong. You take a picture. Or a bus stop's been smashed or anything that you kind of report. And you geotag it. Like, you know, an Uber when you have to drop your pickup point. Yep. So you do that.

Submit a photo and then they'll let you know. And it gets a case number and they'll let you know when it's remedied. Yeah, I reckon that's pretty cool. Good idea. Yeah. But then I mean, I guess councillors don't want to do that

because then you just get everyone messaging in. Oh yeah, they don't want to have to deal with what they're paid to deal with. I know. Me neither.

I know. That's why I would make either the best councillor ever or the worst councillor ever. Yeah. I don't know where I'm on that line. I'd fall.

Well, the state in San Francisco, the city's works department, received more than 24,000 requests for human waste clean-up. Human waste? Can you believe that? 24,000. There might be multiple reports of a single turd, though. Oh, yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying?

You're not counting. I'm not saying those are 24,000 turds. But it's probably still in the thousands. Still a great turd though. Oh yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying? You're not counting. I'm not saying those are 24,000 turds. But it's probably still in the thousands. Still a great city to visit. It's much like Wellington. You've really sold it. On a great day you can't beat it. My dad heard a gunshot.

He's like, won't be going back. This is a guy that has been duck shooting and regularly gets excited when he hears gunshots in the country. Yeah, but not in the city. Definitely not a car backfiring? He said he knows the difference because I questioned that as well.

F.E.M. Now, I want to talk about something in the UK that has been scrapped and straight away New Zealanders are like, oh my god, is that going to happen here? I love that McDonald's knows us so well that they've already said hey. Oh, I thought it was going to be some sort of healthcare situation.

Oh, something serious. Oh, so no. No. You know how serious we get about food? Yeah, okay. Like we won't vote in the elections. That makes sense. But when it comes to food, you sign a petition.

Take it. Yeah, exactly. Cancel a product and we'll march the streets. Yeah. So in the UK, they have scrapped caramel and strawberry toppings for Sundays. Interesting. Because it's not as popular. I don't think I've

ever had a strawberry Sunday. But you like strawberry. I like strawberries. But you like raspberry flavoured junk. Yeah, but I'm just not... Not raspberry flavoured junk, I mean. But chocolate... I wouldn't'm just not because chocolate's available. Not raspberry flavoured junk, I mean. But chocolate,

I wouldn't say no, but chocolate's there so I never go past it. I've done a caramel every now and again. In the days of Sundays, I was a caramel guy. I would get strawberry, but I mean, if I ever get one, I just forget. Because chocolate's the better of them. Well, maybe that's the thing. We all think we

wanted a strawberry, but when was the last time we actually had one? It was like when Campbell Live got cancelled, guys. We all love John Campbell. We do. He's a saint. He's a saintly man. But when was the last time we sat in and watched the show? Yeah, that's true.

And contributed towards the ratings. But we just like to know it's there. I know. It's a comfort thing. As soon as you say that you're going to take it away, we're like, um, no. So they got rid of it in the UK, these two flavours. Yeah, it's gone because it's just not popular.

But McDonald's New Zealand communications manager, Simon, he said we have no plans to remove strawberry and caramel from our Sundays menu. Well, you heard it from Simon's mouth. Simon says, no, it's not happening. Simon says, keep the flavours. Get rid of the flavours. But also...

Oh, we didn't say Simon Says. Oh, yeah. Well, when you go there, remember that they're there. Otherwise, we might just lose them. So what's the UK got now? Just chocolate? Just chocolate. That's a bit plain.

You've got to have a bit of variety. But do they have McFlurries? Because then it's kind of like a zhoosh Sunday. What's the price difference between a McFlurry and a Sunday? Is it much? No idea. No idea. Because, yeah, I was just thinking, who would even still go for a Sunday if a McFlurry and a sundae? Is that much? No idea. Because yeah, I was just thinking who would even

still go for a sundae if a McFlurry was a comparable price. Sometimes I don't want bits in my hoosie. I don't want bits in my hoosie. You're always trying to get more bits. You're always putting bits in your hoosie what's it? Everyone loves it. You especially.

Sometimes I just want a plain sundae with a delicious sauce. You want a plain Sunday, a relaxing Sunday, no bits in your Hersey Watsons. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six. The Top Six reasons knock-off gang

clothing could be detrimental for you. I mean, I would have thought this went without saying, but a gang expert, a senior lecturer and author of the book Patched, A History of New Zealand Gangs, his name's Jared. He has said that buying $20 to $50 mongrel mob t-shirts and hoodies off AliExpress and Wish.com could be extremely detrimental to one's health, including the removal of that clothing from you and probably some violence to go with it. A gang's patch is a highly prized piece of clothing and they fight to earn them and they fight to retain them.

And you've found one now. I just Googled, yeah, AliExpress. US $12.99 to $14.69 a piece. Free shipping to New Zealand. And red, pink, AliExpress. US $12.99 to $14.69 a piece. Free shipping to New Zealand. And red, pink, orange, blue. Pink. Yeah, grey. Click on pink.

Do they have an example of what a pink one would look like? Oh, it's just a t-shirt colour. Oh, I know, it's just a t-shirt. Then you've got to imagine the logo on it. Yeah, I bet I'm being cheap enough. Who's looking after actual gang? Like, because I don't think the gang could beat that. Would you wear that over, like, if you moved to, like, London?

Would you wear that as a lols? No. What about on the Waitangi Day? No. No. No. No. Come on, live a little.

No. Because you'll end up on the bloody news. Probably. You'll end up on some like New Zealand memes Facebook page and then when you move home you get your teeth kicked in. So the top six reasons knock off gang clothing could be

detrimental for you. Number six. Allergies. Often these places like AliExpress and Wish.com don't list non-cotton aspects to the shirt. And the last thing you want to, when you're trying to look tough, is a rash. Yeah.

True. Tough guys get rashes too. I know, but they don't talk about them. They don't talk about them. Number five on the list of the top six reasons knock-off gang clothing could be detrimental for you. You can actually get quite cold in a t-shirt. That's thin cotton t-shirt,

whereas official black power t-shirts are That's thin cotton t-shirt whereas official black power t-shirts are thick and often long sleeved where warmth is crucial while doing your gang enforcing. Yeah.

I wonder if they do a merino for winter. Why not? They got the money. Number four on the list of the top six reasons gang,

knock off gang clothing could be detrimental for you are size discrepancies. Yeah. You order something, you order a large, it arrives, it says it's a large, but you put it on and it's like at least a double XL. And then you just find it easier to put on weight to fill the space of your new gang

t-shirt. Alternatively, they might shrink in a warm wash and they'll make you feel fat. And that's not good for you. No. That's not good for your mental health. You're not winning either way there. No. No winning to be done.

Number three on the list of the top six reasons knock-off gang clothing could be detrimental for you. I'm guessing the leather jackets, not genuine leather. Yeah. So if you fall off your motorbike, it won't protect you very well. No. It'll just shred away or melt to your skin

rather than protecting you, which is why they wear leather on motorbikes. Number two on today's top six, the reasons that knockoff gang clothing is detrimental for you, are wash them with other stuff for the first time, they're cheap, the colours are likely to run and ruin the other clothes in the wash,

including your respectable nine to five work clothes, meaning you either forget a fortune for new work clothes or risk ruining your reputation at work. That would be detrimental. Yeah, it would be. And the number one reason on today's Top 6, the Top 6 reasons knock-off gang clothing is detrimental for you. Ever ordered anything from AliExpress?

Takes ages to get here. You could be weeks and weeks waiting to get your fake gang outfit to wear to your fake gang fight. And then while you're waiting, your fake gang pals will get eliminated by the other fake gangs. And then when you finally get your outfit, you're solo. And there's no iron gang. No.

You've got to have a gang to be a gang. That's today's top six. If you, like myself, have seen that Len Lye sculpture on the Wellington waterfront and been like, would that hurry up and be fixed, please? It's going to be a little harder to fix now. I saw the video of this last night. I was like, oh. So I just thought it wasn't on and they didn't want you near it for some reason when we were in Wellington the last few times

but it's been under repairs for like a year This is, they're saying you'll see a lot, like the headlines are all like $300,000 sculpture broken, but we should never, that amount of money should never have been paid. It's broken already

It was already broken. Now it's physically broken, but prior to that, it wasn't working properly. Because, you know, being from New Plymouth, where the famous wind wand. Oh, you guys love a bit of Len Lye. We love the Len Lye. We've got the Len Lye Centre. Yeah. With the mirrors on it.

Yeah. And, yeah, we've got the big wind wand. That's been up for years now. Yeah. And so this is the same artist. Same sculpture. This is the wind whirler in Wellington. It's been under restoration for years now. Yeah. And so this is the same artist. Same sculpture. This is the Wind Whirler in Wellington.

It's been under restoration for more than a year. And what, they restored it and then some... Well, now I'm about to tell you what happens, but they were like, oh, we're going to reopen that this month, which is exactly what I would do. Again, this is the second time it's come up today. If I was a city councillor, this is exactly my play. I wouldn't fix something.

I'd wait till somebody broke it worse and then be like, well, that was fixed, actually. Thanks a lot, everybody. So it wasn't fixed. So, no. It's meant to be upright, isn't it? Oh, is it? It goes upright.

No, no, no, no. It was upright. But the water wasn't coming out the end. It was a water whirl. One of these classic Len Lye wind things. God, he loves the bit of the wind. But is it supposed to be straight up? Yeah, and squirt around and have water coming out of it.

And as the wind catches it, it blows the water. It was called the water whirl. Well, it was just sitting there and it was too much for one guy who decided to try to climb it. And he was climbing it. Up he went, skiddly-dee, up the post. Probably, I would say, a good three-quarters of the way up. It had bent right over.

Everyone's chuckling. There's a video of it. He's over the water at this stage because he's so heavy that the... The wind whirl is bending over. Well, this thing wiggles and woggles and bends in the wind, so it wouldn't be able to hold a man. Yeah. And he's on it, and it snaps at the base.

It didn't snap. I thought it just bent. No, there's a photo of it actually snapped off at the base. Ope-a-daisy. Yeah, ope-a-daisy, all right. And he ate it and smashed into the rocks below. And he actually ended up having to go to hospital, didn't he? Yeah, he's in hospital.

Yep, he's in hospital. 70 people were watching him eat it. So I'm imagining there's even more footage of it that hasn't come out yet. Because if I saw this, I'd definitely have my phone out. Waiting for something bad to happen. My favourite were the comments when he broke it and fell into the water. People were like, oh my goodness. Oh heck.

Oh dear. The Wellington Mayor tweeted, you break it, you buy it, which... Good call. It's got to say probably the best social media commentary out of the entire incident. But, yeah, it's buggered now. It's proper buggered. They've got to put a fence around it.

But then, like, you know, that's ugly, isn't it? They shouldn't have to put a fence around it. Fences take away from the fact. Yeah. And I try not to be one of those people that as you get older you get real grumpy about stuff you totally

would have done as a teenager you know like you know all those like angry old talkback hosts are like slandering youth for having a drink

but then they say well back in my day we used to drink sure but it was different and it wasn't different they're just remembering themselves with rose tinted glasses on

and they're all drinking during their show anyway. But I... Exactly. But I can judge this guy because I've never had the upper body strength to do a fireman's pole climb. But if you could have... Well, I couldn't have.

I shan't have. You might have. You've seen me try to rope climb. I don't. I can't. I'm just like, it's too hard. So I wouldn't have got up that pole. But, yeah, it's broken now.

So that's why we can't have nice things. Even though I wouldn't have classed the sculpture as nice. It was a bit like overpriced if you ask me. What's not to love about a wind whirler? It was swirly, swirly with water in the wind. It's great. Yeah, man. I got a sprinkler from Kmart for the kids for Christmas.

I did that for like 15 bucks last year. It is a glorified sprinkler. 15 bucks. You don't're right. It is a glorified sprinkler. 15 bucks! You don't even play under this one. You bet tourists aren't coming along to take a picture of a Kmart $15 sprinkler, are they? They would if you painted it silver and told them it cost $200,000. Again, Wyvon Smith should be a

city councillor. Saving money. But I'm also on Bezley money, so there's that too. F.A.M. Some statistics have been released about how much internet we're all using. But I'm also on Bezley money, so there's that too. Some statistics have been released about how much internet we're all using. You've got fibre, right, Megan? No. Because it says on my neighbourhood, I've got one of those little signs that's like,

fibre is coming, but it's not available yet. So is bloody Christmas. When are they predicting? November, I think. One in three New Zealand households now have fibre. It's gone crazy even in the last year. You're not going to know yourself. Well, I had fibre and then I moved. 1.3 million people have fibre.

Really? I don't know if that's households. Access to fibre. Yeah, so even in the last year, 182,000 people got fibre. Okay, it's getting around then. How much did the average house use in June in New Zealand? Oh, good question. Because do you remember, this is going to blow people's minds,

because do you remember even when you were flatting like five years ago or even maybe a bit more, you'd be all like, who's using all the internet? Yeah. And you'd have like maybe. But then people are still on. No, you've got to remember there's so many people are still on capped plans for internet. Like broadband capped.

A hundred percent. And what, they're only getting like 20 gigs a month. Some wouldn't even be getting that. Are you, that's insane. But when we go to my in-laws, they're like, just careful on the internet. Because they're in rural. Right. So it's really expensive for them to get unlimited at any decent speed.

I haven't been on unlimited that long. We used to have like a capped plan. But that's what I'm saying. But most people, you could get a good unlimited plan even if it was AESL broadband. We prioritise internet in our lives. I know, right? The minute they were like, brand new, unlimited,

well, who do I call? I want it. I must have it. Because I remember that in flatting, especially when it got to the point where people were completely legally acquiring television shows, of course.

And that was the... So it churned through in no time. How many gigs did the average New Zealand household use in June? I'm going to say 50. But I feel like I'm overshooting it because 50. 50 in June. The average household in New Zealand used 150 gigabytes of data in June. Yeah, I was going to say 50.

You're overshooting that. But I always would consider myself in not every aspect of life, granted, but in internet usage, I'd put myself above average. But would you even know, because I'm unlimited,

I don't know how much data I use. No, I don't know. But it's probably a gig or two a day easily. Right. Just with Netflix streaming, music streaming. Yeah. Facebook.

And I suppose, yeah, you do watch a lot of like... And there is times in your house where literally everybody could be streaming on a different device as well. But put that into perspective, 150 gigs is the equivalent of 60 hours of high-definition TV. It is like watching all seven seasons

of Game of Thrones back-to-back. In one month. In one month. So what are we using it for? If you think about you using Netflix and YouTube or whatever, 60 hours a month, what's that a day? That's two hours a day. Oh, that's two hours a day.

So when you think about it like that, that's not really that much, is it? No. So Netflix accounts for 15% of the world's internet traffic. I read that stat over the weekend. And in the entire world, 58% of all internet traffic are TV shows, videos. It's just all video. 58%? 58% of all downstream traffic is video.

So what, another 50% is cats? Well, it can't be another 50%. Well, not if it's cat videos. It would be under that. It would fall under that. And so would the naughty videos. Does that fall under that? Well, it's video.

Well, what the hell is the other 42% being used for? Spam? Spam? Information? Information? Emails from your mum when she's on holiday because she doesn't have Facebook. True. That kind of stuff.

Chucking through a few photos and such. That's so interesting. Wait, how much was Netflix? 15% of the world's internet traffic. Yeah. But yesterday, like, do you ever have TV shows that you put on

to keep you company? No. Are you lonely? Blue Planet? Oh, yeah, Blue Planet or The Good Place is one. I just listen to music. Oh.

Yeah, me too. But yeah, so you're not watching it? Nah. Like, I'm doing stuff in the kitchen or I'm, like, doing stuff on my computer.

What are you on music on then? I don't know, because it sounds like there's someone else in the house because they're like, blah, blah computer. What are you in music on then? I don't know because it sounds like there's someone else in the house because they're like blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you think there's something in that like a Netflix show and it's just someone like...

Yeah, because you can't use any company. You can choose the background and you choose the one that looks the most like your house and then they just kind of sit there just kind of like... Just talking to no one. Just talking.

And occasionally they'll be like, how was your day? And then like 30 seconds of silence for you to get it all out. Maybe. That would actually be a wicked YouTube channel. I'd beat you, someone's done it. We need to talk about something we've noticed.

I noticed it changing slowly, like an evolution of sorts. Right. And it wasn't until Caitlin put a name to it that I was like, that's what's happened. Megan has started laughing like Cardi B. Would we say this is somewhat of an intervention? It's a little bit of an intervention. Is it you?

She does. When something's like amusing, you're like. Yeah, when it's like full-blown like chornel, like. That's what she does. She laughs like Cardi B. Yeah. Yeah.

I have noticed myself doing it. Is it annoying you, Caitlin? Like, I thought it was cute. And I was like, hang on a minute. What's happening? And then I realised. It sounds real sinister. And then Caitlin's like, she's laughing like Cardi B.

I was like, I knew I heard the laugh. I had heard the laugh. Man, I love her. I just love watching, like, clips of laughing like Cardi B. I was like, I knew I heard the laugh. I had heard the laugh somewhere. Man, I love her. I just love watching clips of her and all her sound effects and stuff. But she's rubbing off on you. Meow. Oh, God. Oh, grr.

No. Yeah, that's... That's her laugh. See, that's the exact laugh she does. But I've started doing it at home too. Like when Andrew will tell me something, I'm like, oh, that's amusing. I'll be like... And yeah, it's not that

attractive. It's better when Cardi does it. It's a real old lady laugh. Yeah, like a witchy sort of a laugh. So Toyboy probably just thinks you're entering your next phase of old ladyhood. I don't think he watches enough Cardi to realise what's happening. Has he noticed a change though?

Not yet. But it's only a matter of time before he sees something. Laughs are definitely one of those things. When you see someone who's got a good laugh you're like, I might start laughing a bit more like that. Because I don't like, sometimes I hear myself laugh and I'm like, jeez. I know.

Have you tried to alter your laugh? Because I hear myself laughing I got the Ricky Gervais You know how Ricky Gervais laughs? I can't even remember how it went now But someone was like, you've been listening to too much Ricky Gervais Because you started to laugh like him Like Ricky Gervais

So I had to pull that back But could you pull off a Cardi B laugh? How does it go? You kind of do do that But I go a little bit quicker. Yeah. Well, that's quite evil. Cartoon evil villain.

Pace it more like Cartoon B. It's kind of like when it's amusing, because I used to say oh, that's hilarious, but you're not actually laughing. So now I just go... It's really awful. Yeah. So we were wondering this morning, have you or any of your friends have taken on a celebrity's trait?

Like the Cardi B laugh. Or just something that you've seen or... What about Caitlin when you watch Love Island? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Every time that comes on, I just put it into my vocab. You can just get a bit like that with any TV show you watch, though. I know.

Because I feel like I've become the character. Like when I was watching Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, I became Katniss. Did you start plaiting your hair? Yeah, I was plaiting my hair. I was like looking like. You were a dead shot with a bow and arrow. Looking around.

You were like looking around more. Like just ready to be pounced on. No, no, no. Like someone was going to attack me. Right. I don't know. I'm a bit be pounced on. No, no, no. Like someone was going to attack me. Right. I don't know. I'm a bit weird like that.

But yeah, like when you're obsessed with a character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You watched it. What's Bible from?

Oh, that's Kardashians. Yeah, because you really tried to make that happen. But everyone just looks at me weirdly. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you tried to make a krr happen, but like that caught on. I'm glad I stopped that. That was getting a bit much. Not on air a lot, but at home and everything, it was like, oh, krr. Oh, krr.

I just love making noises, so that was like right up my alley. So maybe it was you, or maybe you want to dob in a friend. Have you ever taken on a celebrity's trait? Maybe it's a laugh. And maybe people around you are sick of it or they just have had enough.

Or just like, where did you get that word from? Or maybe it's in the past. And you know, maybe you did like me and you adopted the laugh and then you just stopped. Put it to bed after you realised what you were doing. 0800 DALES.NM. Give us a call.

You can text 9696. We are talking about what you've, what celebrity trait you've adopted. Maybe not even on purpose, you just started doing it and you liked it, so it stuck. Or you watch too many Cardi B videos and then you start laughing like her. Which is what Megan's doing.

God, I love her. So, we're talking about other things that people have adopted from celebrities. Somebody said I don't know if Clint from Brian Clint knows he does this, but he laughs like Jimmy Carr. Almost identically to British

comedian Jimmy Carr. He said, I don't know if he knows that he's even doing it. I wonder if Clint dodges taxes like he does too. Probably not. He used to. That's what Clint and Jimmy Carr used to do. Did he dodge taxes or he just found a loophole? He found a creative way around it. Yeah. But I think Clint and Jimmy Carr used to do. Did he dodge taxes or he just found a loophole? He found a creative way around it.

Yeah. But I think he's back to paying them now. Right. He's funny though, Jimmy Carr. Somebody else said, this just happens with my family any time we watch a comedian set. Yep.

We'll watch it once, we'll love it so much, we'll watch it again as a family and everybody starts talking like him. The latest after that tap and the whole family started to talk like Joe Lysette. He's got a, he does a live

at the Apollo set and it was very funny. We watched it and now everybody's just doing the mannerisms and talking like him and everything. Oh yeah.

Some other text messages in. Trailer Park Boys at our house just became every saying from Trailer Park Boys could be used around the house.

What do they say on Trailer Park Boys? It's like getting two birds stoned at once. Just, I passed that test with flying carpets. There's a few in there. Layla, what celebrity trait did you adopt? I was so obsessed with Blair Woolworth from Gossip Girl. I adopted her personality. Right.

It's not that... Would it mean better to go for a Serena? My friends and family were not very happy. Yeah, right. Because she's a bit of a B. So, like,

what kind of things were you doing? I got headbands from Supreme. We all got headbands when we watched Gossip Girl. That's okay. I didn't.

There's no point. I just wasn't keeping anything out of my face. No. My boarding and taking care of that headband related business. Were you eating yogurt on steps? No, I wish I was.

I did get into a fro-yo with all the toppings. Right. You went full hog. You just went in. You got everything, even their food choices. Layla thanks

You call some more text messages Somebody said It's Drupal's drag race In our flat We binge it Everybody in our flat Watches it And then it's just

The songs The attitudes The sayings The dances Everything There'd be some sass In that flat Some super sass

And someone else Used to watch Kendra From the Playboy Mansion Was it the laugh Yes Yeah Her laugh Isn't her laugh terrible Doesn't she kind of go and someone else used to watch Kendra from the Playboy Mansion. Was it the laugh? Yes. Yeah. Her laugh. Oh, isn't her laugh terrible?

Doesn't she kind of go, at the end? Yeah. Or something like that. It's quite intense. It's all go. Yeah. So there's a lot of stuff happening in the laugh. As opposed to Cardi B, Megan.

Yeah. She's so fun. You'd have a lot of breath to do that laugh. I feel like at the end of it, I need to go, reset. We go to Tauranga now. In a serious crime, a mobility scooter has been stolen. And this isn't just any run-of-the-mill mobility scooter. It's one of those ones with, I don't know why I want to say,

a glad wrap cover. Well, we all know what you mean now. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, right? It's a rain cover. A rain cover. So they don't get wet. Sure, but what do you call see-through plastic? But canopy.

It's not perspex because that's hard. No, it's like that stuff that restaurants pull down. What is that called? What is that material called? Is it a brain fade? Are we forgetting like a really... Plastic.

Just plastic. Transparent plastic. Yeah, like a PVC. You see, like, Glad Wrap did the trick. I knew exactly what you meant. When I said Glad Wrap,

I had a Glad Wrap cover. The thing about this is this was stolen from... This wasn't just, like, left outside a mall or a shop with the key in it. Yeah. It was in someone's carport and the key wasn't in it. outside a mall or a shop with the key in it.

Yeah. It was in someone's carport and the key wasn't in it. This is an old dude's only way of, and if you've ever been to Dona. Wait a second. Are you telling me they hotwired a mobility scooter? So the police say it's either been hotwired or lifted and carried to like a trailer. Okay. See, I prefer hotwire.

Yeah, that sounds. I prefer something like old dude in a balaclava is like, I'll teach you for giving my girl a look at housey, you bastard. You could lift it, sure, but then once you get it wherever you want to take it, you're still not going to be able to start it. Unless you're taking it to a mobility scooter chop shop. And if any city in New Zealand has a mobility scooter chop shop, it's total. It is.

So many mobility scooters. But I've got a feel for the old mate because those can't be cheap. Hey, they're not cheap. It's his freedom. It's his independence. His way of getting around. Yeah. But my thing is, like, again, he's an old boy,

so the hearing might not be like a hundy because you'd totally hear someone getting through the glad wrap. Because it's either Velcro or zip. And if they put zips on those things, they're always heavy-duty zips. And if it's Velcro, it's always that super noisy tent Velcro like that. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know how they got in.

So it's gone. So, I mean, because I guess you can't say we're on the lookout for a mobility skirt, a personalized plate plate because they don't have plates. Well, you can get plates for them. You can pump them out. But this one, there's a photo of it and it just looks like a really standard. Does it have a main color? White.

Okay, it's white with a cover, so very standard. Yes. So if you see one going for a joyride. It's called a Nordic Polar Cruiser. Oh. I don't know if that means anything. What a great name. Okay.

Maybe for the train spotters of the mobility scooter world. He does have a high-vis vest over the seat. Okay. I'm guessing that's just to increase visibility. But again, that could be gone. That's easily removed. We shouldn't be laughing. No, it's terrible.

I'm just thinking of the person who's taken it. Like, are they joyriding or are they, like, going to sell it for parts or leave it in a ditch? Do you get vehicle insurance when you get a mobility scooter? Surely, because they're expensive. It'd be just your contents, wouldn't it? It'd be under your house and contents, wouldn't it? It'd be your contents, I'd say. Right.

Man, that's terrible. What do they want with it? It's got to be students, hey, drunk students, surely. Do you reckon two students could lift it? Easily, yeah. Do you reckon two students could lift it? Easily. Do you reckon they're heavy? It always surprised me when we've had them for playing silly buggers here at work.

They're quite heavy. They are quite heavy. Like you hit something and it really moves it. Yeah. So just eyes out. If you're around the Tauranga Bay area, be on the lookout for, what is it, a Nordic explorer?

A Nordic explorer. You can call the Tauranga Police or if you anonymously need to dob in your grandad because he's an old Clepto you can call Crime Stoppers for anonymous tips

I know something about the availability I would love to work on that Crime Stoppers hotline you'd hear some stuff oh yeah because you love it oh yeah

it's all anonymous too so F.E.M. Mondays are a struggle and it's Tuesday interesting because you love a goss. Oh yeah. It's all anonymous too. Mondays are a struggle and it's interesting. No, I'm just, oh yeah, it is too. Well, Tuesdays and Wednesdays

I find them a struggle too. Wednesdays are pretty struggling. Do you know what? Tuesday is worse than Monday. I know. Why is that? Because you know Monday's back to it.

And you're still a little bit refreshed from the weekend. Like you've had a sleep in before. That's how I feel. And then Tuesday you're like, oh God. You're like, this week's back to it. And you're still a little bit refreshed from the weekend. Maybe. Like you've had a sleep in. Well, that's how I feel. And then Tuesday, you're like, oh, God. You're like, this week's going to be different. This week's my week. It's the start of a new me.

And that's why everyone goes to the gym on a Monday and then no one's there on a Friday. I know. By the time it gets to Friday, no one's there. Yeah. But how many times? They put tacos on Tuesday. Why?

Why are your tacos Tuesday? Because they stick to your diet. Every time you get to Tuesday you think about tacos. And because you go for the tacos and they've got margarita specials. Oh, I know. You can't get a taco without a margarita.

I better drink four. It's happier. I know. And before you know it. Oh my God, it's cheaper to get a jug rather than two glasses. Oh, of course it's. That's just basic economic.

And then you're like, well, I might as well do Wings Wednesday. I'm off my diet with taco Tuesday. So, but how many times have you actually thought about quitting your job? You've hated it that much that you're like, nah, I'm gonna

pack it in. That's enough. It barely gets into my mind because I think, what else could you do? And I'm like, oh, well. That's how long it lasts. God, I'm bloody tired this morning. It's always at like 3.30 when I'm getting out of bed. Oh,

you're bloody tired. What else could you do? This voice in my head, it sounds a lot like my mum. What else could you do? Nothing. Get up then. Okay.

It's when I start hearing people who have to do like eight or nine hours a day. I'm like, whoa, that's so hard. That's hard work. I thought you were going to say people who do like actual jobs.

Yeah, like 12 to 15 hours a day. The thing is, we're so lucky with our jobs. And we all know it. We don't take it for granted. Is our boss listening? Don't say it. Oh, you don't say that. They're lucky to have us, I think is what you meant.

Oh, yeah. Sure. So a study has been done, and I'm not sure why it's women, but the average woman thinks about leaving her job 17 times a year, actually leaving it, and then they think about changing to a completely new career 10 times a year. Would that be, would you fall under that? Anya and I, we were watching someone on Friday

because we'd had a busy 24 hours. We had to deal with you two, which is tough, like overnight. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to share a room and Anya was snoring. I was tired and we were a little bit grumps. And then Anya saw this person cleaning windows and she's like, I'm going to pack it all in and do that. They're outside.

It's hot. They're getting wet. Like, all they have to think about is cleaning that window. Those are three things you hate, Anya. Yeah, but good for the arms. You'd be well built. They're like, she was like, there's no stress, you know? And I was like, well, he might be on a time limit.

Whose windows was he cleaning? The airport's. You know, you get to be with the planes. I just thought, this is me. Right. You're picking a job, have a five-year-old pick a job. Well, I'm going to be outside And play with water

And also I'm going to get A suit Plane But do I do that all the time I'm like That'd be a fun job And then you're like

Oh what do you do Day to day And they're like I work eight hours You're like Whoa Nah Do you actually think

I don't know how you think Eight hours is like An insane amount of work It's so much time concentrating You don't know how lucky You've got it Yeah I like how you think eight hours is like an insane amount of work. It's so much time concentrating. You don't know how lucky you've got it. Yeah, but then... I think you do. You wouldn't think 17 times a year, I want to change jobs.

Yeah, but it's only brief. Like, I think about it, I'm like, oh, I can... Like when a man tells you what to think, like just about 10 seconds ago, you wouldn't think about changing your jobs, would you, sweetheart? Yeah, well, where else would you go, love? What else would you do? Come on. No, but I just mean we have, you know, a great job.

Yeah. But any job you think about changing, don't you? 17 times? That would be easy. But the moment I think about it, I'm like, what else would I do? And it would require actual work. Caitlin's thinking 17 times a week. She's the one person here that's...

Yeah. I think it would be easier for me to look after children sometimes. Like school children. Well, they can't drive home, can they? But they never stop. You get so tired. Oh, hello.

You guys never bloody stop. I was just about to say they're quite smelly, but then we're quite smelly. They're so loud. Yeah, they're loud and they don't listen to people. There's lots of crying and moaning. So obnoxious. Why, do you talk about us or the skill children?

No, you guys. Us. So Caitlin's probably more like 40 times a year wanting to change her job. But I never, like I wouldn't. Well, that's the thing. Despite the fact that so many women complain about it, the average woman

has their job for five years. So that's, I don't know, 17 times five times you think about changing your job and you still don't do it.

Because, you know, too hard basket. 85. Is that what you went quiet? That's what I went quiet for. Because I was like, it's only three short of 20 Vaughn times 20 by five.

And then minus three fives. Three fives is 15. 100 minus 15. 85. Okay, you don't need to show your will yet. I was showing my working. I don't want to be accused of plagiarism. All right, it's quarter to eight.

I did something yesterday afternoon to impress my children. It wasn't the elephant noise I was talking about last week. That's on hold at the moment because I hurt my throat doing it over the weekend. Okay. Because we played a new game. Yeah. I'll tell you about the new game. Okay.

Now or? Do you want the new game now? This is unrelated to the game next. No. We played a game where you have to, it's just weirdly we came up with it. You have to say what your favourite animal is. Dolphin. Every time before you talk, you have to make the animal noise.

And when you forget to do it, you're out of the game. That's a great game. I love it. That's a great game. So I was like, elephant was mine. So I was like, what are we doing now? And it went around and then I hurt myself. So I'm trying to back up that.

But I did something else to impress him and I hurt myself again. All right. Find out next. I'm taking my posture bra off because shit's about to get physical. Okay. I can't believe you're still wearing that. Is it actually life-changing? Oh, my God.

I've not had a sore neck or back since. I went a day without it at the weekend, and there was a little bit of stress. Because I forgot about it. You were wearing it, to be honest. Do you have to wear that for the rest of your life then, or will it train you to? No, I think it trains you over time. I think only a few. Because generally, I wear it at work because this is where I slouch my worst.

Yep. And then when I get home, I maybe like take it off. Okay. Why is... I'm taking it off because I'm about to get physical. Yeah, okay. It's a strange bit of a warm-up because I hurt myself doing this yesterday, but I'm thinking it's time to give it another go.

Okay. Right. Yesterday, I was mucking around with the girls. We were playing netball, but we don't have a hoop, so I was being the hoop. Don't get a tight ass and get them a hoop. Oh, I'll get them a hoop. I don't even know if they,

I don't want to spend money on a hoop if they're going to play soccer though, you know? So how much can they show? There is so much sports gear at my parents. My parents were very encouraging when it came to sports because we're all little tubby fatties. They wanted us to get out there and try it all. There's cricket sets, golf sets, tennis sets, squash rackets, a volleyball net.

There's all the sports stuff. Still at my parents' it's hardly been touched. I've seen you play all those sports. I don't want to be mean, but I'm not great at any of them. It's not you. I'm not terrible at any of them. Wow. I mean, I'm not like the worst person you would have ever seen at sports.

No. But so that's why I don't want to just rush out and buy a netball hoop. But I was being the netball hoop and then I got a ball in the face and I was like, time for a different game. Your face was the backboard. Yeah, basically.

Well, the chest was supposed to be, but they weren't exactly Irene Van Dyke in it and I got it in the face. So then we played gymnastics. Okay. Can't do cartwheels. It turns out I've not like we played gymnastics Okay Can't do cartwheels It turns out I've not Like magically somehow

Developed the ability To do cartwheels But then the girl said Can you do handstands? And I was like I don't know Good question I don't think I've ever

You've never attempted a handstand? You know even in the pool I try to do a handstand And I get water up my nose And you freak out I just freak out Because you go upside down and you go No, and then I think

And block off your nose. Yeah, I think I'm doing a handstand in the water, but I don't even know. When you do a handstand in the water and the legs are out, you're like man, this must look sweet. Take a picture, take a picture. You're like, I'm gonna do a handstand, someone take a picture. Not even that long ago, like last summer. And you go down and you do and you're like

oh, pointed toes, I must look like a graceful angel. And then you come up and you're just like this weird, you look more like Patrick Starfish off SpongeBob. You're all over the place. That's me. But they said, can you do a handstand? And I was like, I don't know, I think so. Okay.

And then in my mind I was like, what's the physics here? But I can do a pull up and that's pulling my weight up. So surely I can hold my weight up So I tried And it took You know the hardest part About the handstand Was getting your weight over

Like jumping high enough Because you kind of Your whole back You're a little reluctant Yeah And so the hardest part Is jumping and then trusting That you're going to hit this thing

And not just absolutely So we were trying to do it inside And Shardé's like, get outside, you'll put a hole in the wall. So we went outside. So it's basically like she's mothering three children.

One's just like 85 kgs. So we went outside and I did it and they were like, Dad, do it. Wait, we'll get mum. We'll get mum. I'm like,

mum in a bloody hurry because I was upside down and it's like, that's the thing I didn't take into account versus the pull up all the blood just absolutely

hones to your head yeah and you start going and your hearing starts but were you straight up or were you like

doing like a I don't know because no one took a photo and I fell down on my head before I got there like I

but you were straight up it felt like it did you do handstands when you were young? Couldn't. Because we used to play pop, bang, go. Pop, bang, go. And you'd do like a handstand.

And then like cartwheels and stuff. Was that the whole entirety of the game? Yeah. What a stupid game. It was to see who could stay up in the handstand longest. Oh, right. And you'd hold the handstand. Yeah.

But like we used to do those so easily. But it's so hard on your wrist. Maybe this way. Are you going to use the window? No, no, no. Oh, God. Now, these are pretty strong windows. I fell off a chair into one.

Okay, there's a light there and there's a camera there. My legs aren't that long. That's trouble. I'm worried about hitting the desk on the way up. This is going to go bad. You guys done a handstand? You should be into this. It must look cool at the gym when people do handstands.

I see people doing handstand like push-up- things, and I'm just like, stop showing off. One day I want to do one of those. How do they do it? Against the wall. Do they back up the wall so their face is against the wall? Because I'll go like that, and my face will be away from the wall. They go face to the wall. Face to the wall.

So they, like, back up the wall. Yeah, maybe. Okay, and then they... Here we go. Flick up and do a handstand against the wall. Come on, show us. Show us your handstand. Okay, I... Here we go. Flick up and do a handstand against the wall. Come on, show us. Show us your handstand. I'm angry.

Okay, I'm going to try. Oh, God. This is going to go... You're not worried about how I'm going to click this thing? Can you stand there and direct his legs? No, that's cheating. Well, no, I've got to jump. Oh, God.

See, this is not... That's not a handstand, though, because you're using the wall. Do a freestyle. Freestyle. Wow, your face is red. Your eyes are bloodshot. You're not very flustered. What about a cartwheel?

That went way better than the last one. Right, but you are using the wall. That's cheating. I don't have the balance to do one without the wall. It's something to work towards. What about a cartwheel? Nah, they're embarrassing. I can't get my legs.

I'm impressed, though. I'm impressed. Yeah, yeah. I'll say, okay, impressed. Thanks. And just tuck your shirt in. Because when I did it at home, that was the other thing. The shirt was over my face

and my guts was out. It was all, it was all happening. F.E.M. A girlfriend has gone viral. I don't know if she knows about this or not because a list of rules

for her boyfriend has been put on social media. Now, the reason this list was found, not because the boyfriend put it up, God no, you'd get in major trouble. He knows. So a guy found the list in a car after a trade-in.

Found the list of rules and has shared it online. Like in the glove box. Yeah. And there are how many rules? 22. Right. There's 22 lists of rules for her boyfriend. Now, you might think, are they cute rules?

Already a red flag. That's several red flags for me. Yeah, 22. So I won't go through all 22 but I'll read you some of the standouts. Oh yeah, you mean the crazy ones? Yeah. So she's written rules underlined at the top and bold and then like a smiley face and a heart

and a kissy face. Okay. Passag already. Rules! They're not numbered. They're bullet pointed. You are not, in capitals, to have a single girl's phone number. Now, does that mean you're not allowed a single girl's phone number

or single girls? You're not allowed to have phone numbers of single girls? It says a single girl's phone number. I think it's a bit about like really old friends that happen to be girls that are in relationships

and pose no threats. Probably just best you delete all of those. Yeah. Fair enough. You're not to follow any of them on social media, which includes, it's in brackets, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. Okay. Aha. Very specific.

LinkedIn loophole. Follow the hot girls on their professional LinkedIn profiles. You are not to hang out with your friends more than two times a week. Okay. You are not to hang out with your friends more than two times a week. Okay. You are not to even look at a single girl. Again, does that mean a single girl?

Because how would you know if you're just in the street? Yeah. Put your blinkers on. This is the blurred out. So you are not to ask for a blurred out, so like something

specifically sexual. Okay. And the person who's found it has written naughty naughty. Next to it, right. You're not ever to ask for that. You're not to get mad at me about a single thing ever again. Oh, there's been some cheating. Do you reckon that's what he's done?

Maybe. I don't know. You are not allowed to drink unless I'm with you. I am allowed to do a phone check whenever, in capitals I, please. If I catch you around girls, I kill you. It's pretty much prison. Yeah. In fact, I think you even get a phone in prison now. Yeah.

If you can smuggle it in. We are to go on a legit date once every two weeks at least. If I say jump, you say, how high, princess? Like, she's got to be taking the piss, eh? She sounds hard work. Like, that's not, it can't be serious. I think she's crazy. And she finishes it off by saying,

you are never to take longer than 10 minutes to text me back. Or she'd break up with me. And there are more. Like, you've only read, what, 10? Yeah. There are 22. Like, very serious rules. That's, 10? Yeah. There are 22. Like very serious rules. That's not gonna last

long, that relationship. I'm surprised these even lasted to get a list of rules. God, everyone is sharing this on like this kind of in the last 24 hours has just been everywhere. She's gonna find out. But her name's not on it anywhere. No names anywhere. So it can't be attributed to, unless they've broken up with the

boyfriends like, yeah, that was my ex. I've got there's some rules in our relationship. Yeah. I'm not allowed to eat wonton soup or dumplings without sharts. She gets really angry. Ours is mostly food based. She's not allowed to eat

delicious meats without me, and I'm not allowed to eat basically any Asian cuisine without her. Because we've been away for work things or for lunches and we've had dumplings and you hear about it.

Oh, I don't tell her anymore. Keep it secret. Yeah. I'm sneaky dumplings. Look, I'm so glad she was there at that place we were in in New Plymouth. Oh, yeah.

Because if I'd come home and told her about that, I would have been dog box. Yeah. Yeah. The yummy treats. But there's the rules, like, we're not allowed to watch Ozark Season 2 without each other. You know, like, there's specific programs you're not allowed to watch.

Those are more the cute rules rather than the crazy rules. And, like, we kind of have an unspoken rule where you don't go to a new cafe without each other. Because, like, you want to try it together. Okay. So, what, he'd be upset if you tried to try it together? Okay. So what, he'd be upset if you tried the new local cafe before him.

Yeah. Oh God, I know better than that. Well, that's his vibe though. He works in hospitality. Yeah. So I can understand that.

And he's like, oh, someone suggested this. So let me know when you're free and we'll test it out. Like once you've tested it, you can go back. Right.

But you can't try for the first time. Okay. Without the other. That's weird now I'm saying it out loud. What are your relationship rules? Just do what I want. Be out. Be out.

Because I start work early in the morning. I thought we were talking cute relationship rules. Keep this quiet because you might have a friend I want to sleep with. That sort of thing. Short term relationship rules. Let's just keep this between us. It's just me and the cat. Right.

And your cat doesn't listen to anything because it's destroyed your couch. Yeah, I know. So that's a one way street, that relationship. Yeah. Should we take some cute relationship rules? I'd rather hear the cute,

non-threatening relationship rules. Because these kind of rules, it's not going to last, is it? No. It's not a healthy relationship. Like that. It's not healthy at all. That's prisoner of war stuff.

I don't know, but I'm assuming that breaks some UN conventions. Pretty much. So 0800-DARLS-ZM. We want to take some calls now. 9696. Have you got any cute relationship rules? Like no Netflix without each other. Yeah.

Or no going to a new cafe without the other one. You know, no dumplings without you. All right, give us a call 9696 to text as well. We're talking about your cute relationship rules. A list of relationship rules, quite intense relationship rules. There's 22. And all as crazy as the one previous has been found and shared online. And stuff like you're only allowed to hang out

with your friends twice a week. Yeah. You're not allowed any girl's phone numbers. You're not even allowed to look at a girl. If I say jump, you say, how high, princess? You think the whole thing's a joke. I can't, no one's, no female's writing that, are they? That's really hard out.

Somebody messaged in saying it sounds like a road to redemption. Like you said, he's cheated on her and she's like, if you want to stay with me, these are the rules. But that's not healthy. No.

But we want to know the cute rules in your relationship. Like Megan, you've got the no watching Ozark season two without Toyboy. Without each other.

No going to a new cafe without each other for the first time. Some text messages in. We're not allowed to play new levels of Overcooked 2 on the Nintendo Switch without each other. Okay. My husband and I have a rule that we cannot go to work without giving each other a kiss goodbye. Oh yeah, we have that one.

There's a big telling off if someone leaves without... Like when you leave, you've got to be like, kiss. Yeah, you've got to have a kiss goodbye. Yeah. We'll take some calls. Edie, what's your cute relationship rule? Edie. Oh, hi. That's okay.

What's your cute relationship rule? We always hold hands when we're watching Netflix. Oh my God. But Edie, what if you've had like a little argument or something? Oh no, we still hold hands because we've got a rule that it's how we argue, not why we argue. Oh.

Wait, wait, wait. Why missed it? Why wasn't that rule? It's not. It's not why we argue. It's how we argue. I'm not sure I understand. So it's not like yelling and screaming.

Oh, it's more about what you're arguing about. Yeah, but we just do it kind of respectful. So we're still able to hold hands and kiss and cuddle after. A respectful argument. Don't laugh. Excuse me, Sarah. I find your attitude appalling. Watch your manners, lady friend.

I shall slap you with my glove. Disagreement can still be calm and respectful. Really? You don't have to be screaming. No, ours are always like, rah, like loud. It's always immediately loud. That's pretty cute though, Eddie. That's a good relationship rule,

a cute one. Dylan, what's your cute relationship rule? I'm a travelling sales rep and my ex-girlfriend used to make any dog that I would pull over and pat during the day, which was quite a few, she would make me Snapchat for her. Wait, so the rule where you didn't have would pull over and pat during the day, which was quite a few, she would make me Snapchat to her. Wait, so

the rule was you didn't have to pull over and pat dogs. You chose to pull over and pat dogs, but the rule was if you did, you had to Snapchat her the dog. Exactly. Right. That's pretty cute. See, if you were talking to her later that night, you'd be like, I patted a really cute husky today.

And she's like, what? Where's my photo? Dylan, you son of a bitch. Would you be in trouble? That's pretty much how it happened. Is that why you broke up? You didn't Snapchat her enough dogs? Not quite, not quite. Okay. I feel there's a story.

Sorry. No, sorry. Let's not delve into that. Let's not delve into that. Dylan, thank you for your call. I do want to know what happened. Caitlin, ask him. Ask him off here.

Ask him. Just ask him. We're so nosy. We're so what happened. Caitlin, ask him. Ask him up here. Ask him. We're so nosy. We're so nosy. We don't want to ask him on here. Our relationship rule is no DIY at home unless the other person is there. That way if an injury occurs, the other person can thank them to A&E. This has happened multiple times. Somebody else said, my partner's rule is if we're together,

I can't be on my phone. He tells me there's nothing more important on Facebook or Instagram than being in the moment together. Oh, that's so... It's a good rule. But don't you get told off for that too, eh? But then Sade goes on her phone. Yeah, but then that's rich.

Yeah. That's very rich. I taught her last night how to put her phone onto the orange mode before you go to bed. Oh, yeah, it takes the blue light out. Yeah, bedtime. So when you're in bed, it helps your eyes relax easier.

She's like, oh, that's helpful. I was like, well, you could just get off your phone in bed. I don't know, one of the two. The new update... What else are you supposed to do in bed? The new update... Sarlip. The new update has all the time

that you've been on your phone. I don't like it. Oh. It's like, oh, you've been on social media two hours today. No, it's great. It's like, shut up, phone. I opened my iPad it. Oh. It's like, oh, you've been on social media two hours today. No, it's great. It's like, shut up, phone. I opened my iPad the other day. It's like three minutes a day.

And I was like, good work. And then my phone wanted to tell me. I was like, not now, not you. You be quiet. We're listening to the iPad for the moment. Somebody else said that we're the same as Megan. It is an absolute no-no to go to a new restaurant or cafe. Oh, good.

Without the partner. But he's not allowed to go clothes shopping without me as he picks out very questionable garments. It's a good rule. There's no new food places or favourite foods without each other. We had one of our worst arguments after they went to our restaurant without me. While I was away. Yeah, I get that. I get that.

Yeah. Because we don't have that many cheat meals. So if they did a cheat meal without you, that's like actual cheating. Oh, I get that. I get that. Yeah. Because we don't have that many cheat meals. So if they did a cheat meal without you, that's like actual cheating. Oh, you've cheated. That's cheating. You've cheated on a cheat meal.

Yeah. Can't do that. He's not kissing another girl. He's just having carbs. Yeah, that's so rude. He's open enough kissing a pie. Carbs without me.

Yeah, you come home, you're like, my God, there's a woman in our house, but there's half a loaf of bread. I'm upset about the sex stuff. I hope the woman ate that half. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about the no-fly list. I know you're a big aviation nut. You like the crashing shows. You know I love air crash investigation. I hate queues. Hey, how great were the queues at the airport the other day on school holidays? Don't get me started. They were insane.

Megan and I got to the airport a long while before you guys. They had two lanes that weren't open. And I was like, we pay a levy in our airfare. Yeah. And they knew all those people were going to be there. But yet still. You should have got a chat to Christine. Got caught in customs coming back from Australia the other day.

She was in there for an hour. She was sat behind Don Brash. She had a chat to Don Brash about it. Did she? Did he say anything racist? I don't know. the other day. She was in there for an hour. She was sat behind Don Brash. She had a chat to Don Brash about it. Did she? What did he say? Did he say anything racist? I don't know.

My mum would probably miss subtle racism. Right. The baby boomers do. Blamed tax cinder. Yeah, just go straight over them. They don't like endorse it, but they also don't know it's a problem sometimes.

And then you're like, ooh, and they're like, what are you oohing for? It's like, oh, that're like, ooh. And they're like, what are you ooh-ing for? I was like, oh, that person said something racist. And they're like, what? They didn't even hear it. It just happened. But anyway, that's not what we're talking about, the no-fly list.

Or Don Brash. But today's fact of the day is before the September 11 attacks, there were 16 people on the US federal government's no-fly list. Okay. In 2013, it was 47,000. Oh, gee. How did he get on that list? Well, it got a whole lot easier to get on the list after September 11.

Yeah. Just a whole lot easier. Yeah. By two months after September 11, they never made it public, but they'd tell people numbers. Right. It got up to 400 a couple of months after September 11. They never made it public, but they'd tell people numbers. It got up to 400, you know, a couple of months after, from 16 to 400. And the more, the longer the war on terror went on and the more it was looked into around the world, it kept growing exponentially.

There was 30,000 in 2005. And then in the last leak of official numbers, there was 47,000 people on the list. So that's just the no-fly list. There's actually this database that's called Tuscan. It's the tip-off US-Canada, so that Tuscan's shortened of that whole thing. There are 680,000 people on that list with links to terrorism in some way.

What, Like your neighbours are terrorists? So they can fly, but they set off little alarms. God, every time. 680 thousand people. And that could be anything. That could be... You could have the same name as a terrorist? As somebody, yeah, you may have been like in a place and just

not been, but you'd set off the alarms. You could have caused a disturbance on a plane. Right. And it's a black mark against your name. You could have caused a disturbance on a plane. Right. And it's a black mark against your name. Could have Googled how to make a bomb. Yeah. And they could link it to your personal computer.

Yeah. And now they're just watching you. Wow. Okay. But yeah, it just went up, obviously, crazy exponentially. So yeah, today's fact of the day is before September 11, the US no-fly list had 16 people on it. In 2013, when we had the last official numbers, it had 47,000.

Fact of the day, day, like, sad, I guess. Okay. There's been a survey of Australian airline staff. This is people who work for airlines. It's kind of across the board. I saw this yesterday. It was a massive survey. It didn't just cover what we're going to talk about.

Other things were covered, but I think this is really standout. 65% of Australian cabin crew workers that work for airlines have said they've been sexually harassed in some form during flights. During their time at work, they have been sexually harassed. So this is people making comments, and does that include, like, touching? No one would grope. It's anything that makes somebody feel uncomfortable and it's of a sexual nature.

That's what sexual harassment is. You're making somebody feel uncomfortable. Right. And workplace sexual harassment is they're at work, they're there to work and you've, not you've, but people do something to make other people feel uncomfortable and it's of a sexual nature. This includes, but is not limited to, being pinned

down. Oh, wow. Or pinned against a wall by passengers. Flashed by passengers on purpose and subjected to degrading comments. They said those were some of the worst ones. But, you know, just being touched inappropriately by passengers

as they, you know, doing their job walking up and down the aisles, they said, you know, 65% have been some way or another. Because when I saw the story yesterday, I was like, maybe I'm just living, I don't know, ignorant in an ignorant world because I've never witnessed that on a plane. I've seen it. I've seen it happen.

I mean, I can imagine people do, but I was so shocked that it's 65%. Yeah. And so I messaged my friend who's a flight attendant and I was like, this is crazy. He's like, that does not surprise me in the least. I was like, that is sad. Not overly

surprised either. But that's both genders, right? That's male and female. Totally, totally. It's not just female flight attendants. Males have been sexually harassed as well. They said of that 65%, when asked if it had happened on more than four occasions, 50%.

So it only just dropped 15%. It's not 50% of the original 65%, it's 50% of the total people surveyed said they'd also been sexually harassed at work. Do you know what makes me upset the most out of these kind of stats is that people hear that and they go, you can't do anything anymore though.

You can't give anyone a compliment. You know, you just touch someone on the arm. It's like, no, no, no, no. You know how to behave to someone. Yeah. You know, and someone you don't know, a stranger. And touching them on the bum, you know where you can't touch someone.

Touching someone on the arm to ask them a question, sure. But like, we don't have to go back to manners. People know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. It's not PC madness. No, no, 100%. Have you ever seen anything like this? I've seen an old mate on a plane as a stewardess was walking past be like, excuse me, love, and, like, pat her on the butt to get her attention.

What? Rather than push a button, he'll be like, excuse me, like, excuse me, love, and be like, are you kidding? Excuse me. Like, excuse me, love. And like pat on the butt. Like, not grope grope, but it was a touch that I would have made me feel uncomfortable. Or if I had you know, I always think about it since

having daughters. Yeah. And I would say this is an easy thing for anybody to compare it to. How would you feel if a stranger was doing that to your daughter or sister or mother or one of the women in your life that you love and care about so much? And if you think that would make me uncomfortable,

then don't do it. Or if someone did that to you, if a stranger just came along and patted you on the bum, would you be like, I'm not okay with it? Don't do it to someone else. Totally. They're saying this is shocking to them. There's people who work

in the airline industry. And that's Australia. This is shocking to us. That's Australia as well. So, I mean, that's right next door. And that would include a lot of these people would be flying to New Zealand.

Oh, 100%. All the time. Maybe lots of New Zealanders flying domestically in Australia. Yeah, it's definitely not just an Australian. I wouldn't want anyone to hear this and be like, well, that's just Australia because that's happening everywhere.

And also, they're passengers. So like as a cabin crew, what are you supposed to do? It's not like you can go off at one of the passengers. I'd accidentally spill the tea on them. Hot tea. That'll teach you. Oh, you're not saying much now, are you? I'd lock them in the toilet because you know how they can control the lock

from outside and lock it so they couldn't get out. And then like spray some fart-smelling stuff. And then make an announcement. Poor. Who did that? That really stinks. Everybody look at the toilet door. Unlock it.

They come out. Boo. Shame, shame, shame. Maybe that was a bit much. It was quite like a multi-stage plan. I liked it. I liked it. It would certainly be embarrassing.

Well, it's been a while since we've done this. We better blow the dust off it. Give it a shake. Give it a shake. All we hear is Radio Doctor Radio Doctor Radio Doctor

And it is time to solve a medical mystery. James, the producer, one of our very own, has been limping for a couple of days now. Yeah. And it's hurt yourself? I hurt it over the weekend. I jumped for something and landed on pretty much the side of my foot.

Anyone's done that before? And, you know, that ankle rolls. Oh, yeah. It was terrible. Monday, you can hardly walk. Oh, it was terrible. I couldn't park in my normal car park. I had to park outside and pay.

It was too far away. It was the transit issue. It would have taken me half an hour. I might still have some crutches you can borrow somewhere. That could actually be pretty good, yeah. And today, you're walking on a little better. A little better, but it hasn't stopped clicking ever since I did it. Could you come in here next to Vaughan and let's hear if we can hear this clicking?

I'll put the microphone down. Just give him a second. I mean, when you're ready, mate. We haven't got all day. He's limping. He's limping. He's limping. All right.

So let's... Everyone shush. Everyone shush. Oh! No! No! everyone shush oh no James no that was a meaty crack one more

oh no James James no come on mate I thought you were exaggerating I do click quite a bit but like

I was walking around the warehouse last night and I was going for a solid, like the whole way around the warehouse. Yeah, no, that's more of a click. Crack than a click. Does it hurt when it cracks? It starts to get uncomfortable. I feel it cracks quite a bit.

But the ceiling's gone down. I can walk on it now, so I'm thinking it must be getting better, right? But I keep clicking. I don't think... You need to go to the doctor. Why aren't you going to the doctor? Well, it's a lot of admin.

It's money too. No, but it wouldn't be ACC because you hurt yourself, you jumped up. You need to go to an ACC registered physio to get the... No, I'd go straight to a doctor and then get an x-ray. I'd put ice on it and a bit of anti-flam. A physio might be cheaper because then you get the x-ray. I put ice on it and like a bit of anti-flam.

A physio might be cheaper because then you get the x-ray through them. Mine only cost three or ten or twenty bucks. God, I love how reliant on anti-flams New Zealanders are. Like chuck some rub on.

That's the first thing that mum said. Get some anti-flam or some arnica or something. Yeah, another bit of that purple pot of arnica cream. But if it's broken, that's going to do nothing.

But would I be able to walk on it if it was broken? I jumped up playing netball and rolled it just how you did, and I walked on it for a week and it was broken. Okay. Yeah, okay. And then you can get a moon boot. I don't know. Cool.

I'm going off to Queenstown this weekend. I don't want to be in cast or anything. Do I just give it a week? No, no, you can't do that. You can go to Queenstown in a cast. Can you? No, but you might not have to have a cast. We're exaggerating

here. You might just have a moon boot. I honestly think it's getting better. You're clicking, James. That's not a good sign. Is there anything else that clicking could be, though? No, I can feel the click of my ankle. Okay, so we need some text messages in on the subject, 9696 or 0800DARLS.M, with any help for James.

Is this just a sprain, or does this sound like a break in your experience? There's some serious bruising coming up on it, too. Oh, is there? The bruising didn't happen in the first 24 hours. Oh, yeah, she's swollen. Oh, my God, James. You're like one of those people that say, oh, I had a broken foot for three weeks.

Because that can happen. You can get a little fracture, can't you? Yeah, a hairline fracture. I don't know. It seems like it's improving to me. You're clicking, James. That's not a good sign. Well, if you can help out

Radio Doctor 9696 All we hear is Radio Doctor Radio Doctor Radio Doctor So it's the return of Radio Doctor Where you help us Diagnose the problem

James is clicking foot Do you want worst case scenarios? Sure. Oh, God. Are we going to hit it with worst case scenarios? Just scare him. Sounds like a torn meniscus. The clicking sound could be loose cartilage

flapping around in the joint. What's a meniscus? No, meniscus is your kneecap. But is there one on the ankle bit? No. Let's go to someone who's qualified. Natalie, good morning. Hi, good morning, guys.

You're a qualified physiotherapist. Physiotherapist. Physiotherapist. Yes, good morning. Hi, good morning, guys. You're a qualified physiotherapist. Physiotherapist. Physiotherapist, yes, I am. Now, what does it sound like to you when James' foot's clicking? Yeah, so basically there's two possibilities. Well, there's quite a few, but if I was him, I'd definitely go to a physio and let them assess it. It's either a lateral ligament sprain or he's broken it.

So an X-ray will quickly let them know, and a physio can refer him for that X-ray and an ultrasound if it's needed. There you go. Would it click if it's a sprain? It could because the ligaments actually hold the bones all in place. So when the ligaments are damaged, the bones kind of move more than they should, which could make the clicking sound. And he said he could feel the click.

So that makes sense. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And again, there is the possibility that there is a break in the bone, which could also cause that cracking sound that you're hearing. Is a Kiwi guy as bad at this? Do they put it off for like weeks and weeks and weeks

and then come and see you? Oh, my goodness. Absolutely. I've seen people with horrendous ankle injuries and they come back six months later. Six months?

And the best part is they usually need it to be better in like two weeks and I'm like, I don't perform miracles. You've got to heal, don't you?

I'd like to encourage the public to go to physios and doctors as soon as possible. It makes our job fixing you a lot easier. See James? See James? James, do you have anything to say to physios and doctors as soon as possible. It makes our job fixing you a lot easier. See, James? See, James?

James, do you have anything to say to Natalie there? Well, I'm surely just, Natalie, a bit of elevation for the next week would be all right. Do you not think? Oh, jeez, no. He wants to go to Queenstown, Natalie. He wants to go to Queenstown. Especially during a wine tour, Natalie.

Will I be able to do that? Okay, what about we compromise, right? You elevate, you ice it, and get yourself a decent ankle brace. We'll go there. Moonbows that Caitlin had. True moonbows. A decent ankle brace with some lateral and medial ankle support. I'm going to make him go.

At least reduce. I'm going to make him go. I'm going to drop him off and make him go, Natalie. We'll have none of this. I promise this video will be able to put your mind at ease. And then at least you won't have to worry about it. And you can enjoy your trip in Queenstown. True, and probably my mum at ease as well

because I've just got a text saying, what has happened? I thought I might have under-talked it on the phone. What has happened? And plus, you might be able to get some sweet meds to mix with the wine. Very true. No, Fletch. Good mixing over the weekend. What?

No, we don't do that. No, we don't do that. Ryan, you had the same thing as James. What happened? Yeah, I'd too many rolled ankles and touched rugby and rugby over seasons and did it once, one last time, real good. And that girl, Kiwi Attitude, she'll be right, and didn't bother going into physio and stuff,

and now every time I put my foot on a clutch, it'll click. Ryan, no! So wait, you mean you still haven't been? No, I've had to go for a job interview, so I had to go and get a medical check, and yeah, to be honest, I'd cracked a little bone in my ankle called the talus and it's now got a dead corner on it. You don't want a dead corner, James.

I don't want a dead corner. No, you want your corners vibrant and alive. Yeah, I do. I don't want a dead one. Thank you for your call. I think that's sorted. You're going to the physio today, James. Yeah, okay.

Dad is spoken. Where's the closest one to here? I've got a couple. There's heaps around here. Okay. Fine today, James. Yeah, okay. Dad is... Where's the closest one to here? I've got a couple. There's heaps around here. Okay. Fine, all right. Yeah, yeah. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan.

The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM.