ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 09 2019

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

Vaughan has been left at home with a big job, top kiwi slang words and did your parents set you up?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. What's up? And there's a typhoon coming though, isn't there? The All Blacks? Oh yeah. Imagine playing rugby in a typhoon. Would they let that go ahead? What's a typhoon? A storm. Like a bad storm?

Yeah, it's a different name for a tropical storm, right? What? Like the difference between a typhoon, a cyclone, and a hurricane. Hurricane's real bad. I think it's just what different areas call different... What's the difference between a typhoon and a hurricane? Hurricane's real bad. The only difference between a hurricane and a typhoon

is the location where they occur. In the North Atlantic, Central North Pacific, and Eastern North Pacific, the term hurricane is used. The same disturbance in the Northwest Pacific is called a typhoon. So what do we call it, the hurricane? Tropical cyclone. We call it the tropical cyclone. Does that sound warmer and nicer, doesn't it?

Yeah. Because of the word tropical in it. Yeah. Sounds like you're going to get a pina colada. Or a mojito, yeah. Yum. Imagine that. Tropical Cyclone starts, you just put your hand out the window until a mojito slams into it.

Then you pull it in and you're like, well. At least we're safe. Could have done with a bit more mint, but you know. Tropical Cyclone bartender. Early in the season. We've got the top six coming up on the show. Yeah, Teslas. Teslas.

Teslas? Tesla. Tesla. Not Tesla. That's a Dutch. That's, um. Tesla. Tesla.

It's not a Z. It's an S. Tesla. Tesla. Tesla. Everyone says Tesla. Tesla is a Dutch surname. Is it?

Okay. Tesla. It's an S. Tesla. Tesla. No, but there's not two S Tesla. It's an S. Tesla. Tesla. No, but there's not two S's. It's one. So you go soft on the S, don't you?

That's not soft. That's a Z. That's Tesla. I'd say that's a harder S. The Z is a harder S. Whatever. A car we none of us have or can afford. Exactly.

They're going to have personalised horns. Oh my God. This is amazing. So like, rather than just be like, man, they'll have personalized horns. What are they going to have? Farts and goats, I've had confirmed so far. But the top six are the top six other noises that would make great Tesla car horns. All right, that's coming up.

Also, someone has not done something for an hour. It's quite a feat, actually. Is it a world record? Yes. Okay. All right, you lot, listen up. Also, someone has not done something for an hour. It's quite a feat, actually. Is it a world record? Yes. Okay. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, as always.

Maybe you're new to story time. I've got three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan will pick one, only one headline. The others, well, we just never find out about. That's just the harsh reality of story time. No, we never, ever find out. Well, I've got a no Google rule, but you do break that sometimes. Headline one, 32-hour rock opera version of the Bible.

Headline two, woman turns... 32 hours? How many intermissions? You just yawned at that alone. I know the thought of 32 hours of biblical rock opera. Is, yeah. Headline two, woman turns down date with man with machete. Oh, okay.

And headline three, man's tainted flute retuned. Tainted flute. One, two. Tainted flute. I guess we want that one, do we? Yes, two. Wheat, wheat. Tainted flute. Wheat, wheat. Wheat. I guess we want that one, do we? Yes, please. Yeah, right.

Okay. We go now to America. And Jan's Way in Wisconsin. A music store. An employee found a man walking around. I'll show you the security footage. There he is there. If you look closely.

What's that, Megan? Can you explain for the listeners? The flute is down his crack. I was going to say tainted, like taint as in you taint. But I thought, oh, no, I shan't drag the show into the gutter this early in the morning. But it was literally a flute against his taint. Is that what a bum is? A taint.

It's another, yeah, another. So apparently they posted on their local Facebook page that this gentleman paid us a visit and decided to try and walk out with a flute in his pants down his butt crack. Luckily, we saw it in time before he drove away with a woman in a late model brown blazer-like truck. Hint to criminals, don't try to steal things right in front of the camera. And they actually went up to him and the woman in the store removed it from his butt crack. Oh, that would need a wash.

So the store were like, well, what do we do? Because we've got this flute and you can't obviously, even if you dip that in Dettol, no one's going to buy that, are they? I mean, you might be able to sell it without them knowing, but that would be also a bit rude, because it's been down a sweaty man's butt crack. It's your gooch. It's your gooch.

I've been Googling. Your taint is your gooch. No, your taint is your butthole. No, it's easier. I don't want to say the middle word word because I don't know what that means. Perennium. Also a perennium. Your gooch and your taint are the same thing.

I thought taint was another word for Bertram. I thought the taint was the butthole. It was the butthole. Is it not? Apparently not. I've gone down a rabbit hole to find it. The taint is actually a better name for the gooch, isn't it? It's a nicer word.

Because gooch is quite a harsh sounding gooch. I feel like taint is actually a better name for the gooch, isn't it? It's a nicer one. Because gooch is quite a harsh sounding gooch. I feel like taint can be really... Oh my God, I've been living a lie. Well, before... Taint is a term used to refer to the perineum. It's called your perineum because it taint your balls and it taint your ass. Is that what Google says? Unbelievable.

Google, calm down. It's early. Wow. I feel like taint. I'm saying something really bad. It says it has no basis in medical terminology and is most often considered lewd and obscene. It does sound lewd and obscene.

But as I heard my nan calling it a taint. Oh, it's... Oh, your nan was... It's a really harsh word. But it was, like, to do with animals. Like, to do with, like, the sheep. You know, you've got to shave around the taint. Because otherwise they get flaky.

Eye-blowing. I'm sure I grew up with my very Catholic nan, Marlene, rocking around taint like it was gone out of fashion. Great news, though. They decided to repurpose the flute as a lamp. And they've run some wires up through it, mounted it on a lovely stand, and you can now purchase the tainted flute lamp.

Oh, it's still an arse lamp, though, isn't it? I mean, they have given it a wash, but... Still. Pretty good from them. Pretty good from them. Little old family music store. Yeah, lovely. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

There is a TV show called Eat Beluga, and it sounds just like a fun TV show, but this is in the Philippines. Eat Beluga? It sounds like you're eating a beluga whale. Yeah. I don't know how to explain that. An actor, a comedian, and a TV host

has set an unofficial world record, so Guinness World Record there. It was just like a fun on-air thing they were doing. But I don't think anyone expected him to do as well as he did. So he set a record, unofficial, for one hour, 17 minutes and three seconds where he did not blink once. One hour, 17 minutes and three seconds.

That is a long time. This was on air on the TV show. So he finally, they were red and they were watering but he still kept them open.

Could he hold them open or was it free? No, he had to hold them open. So not like matchsticks or anything? No, you weren't allowed anything to hold them open. You just had to use your eye muscles to hold them open. So not like matchsticks or anything? No, you weren't allowed anything to hold them open. You just had to use your eye muscles to hold them open.

So I've just Googled the average person blinks some 15 to 20 times per minute. So the frequency that our eyes are closed for roughly 10% of our waking hours overall. Oh, that's interesting. That's interesting, eh? Because if you leave them open, they go dry and you get tears, don't you? Yeah, when I was a kid, I remember the longest time I kept my eyes open when we were in Australia on the Gold Coast. Why?

How do you? Because it stuck with me. We were in Australia on the Gold Coast on a section of highway heading to Movie World for the day. Yeah. And mum said, if there's one more bloody argument, we're not going to Movie world and i was like and then i was feigning like don't you dare yeah and i noticed i had my eyes open for about 15 seconds so i was like how long can i keep them open for so i kept

them open and in the back of this rental car right and i remember my eyes started watering and mum thought i was crying because i was so upset about the possibility of not going to Movie World. And then my brother said, what are you doing? And I said, I can't tell him because he'll like pretend to flick me so I blink and it ruins it. Yeah. And I said, I'm not doing anything. And it became this big thing in the car and it was like, why are you being so weird?

What are you doing? Why are you crying? Yeah. And I lasted for, I don't know how long. Right. It felt like a very, very, very long time. Did you get to go to Movie World? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Because I used to do that when I was young, hold my eyes open so that you would cry and everyone was like, oh, are you okay? No. That was the way to get to start crying. Yeah. Was to hold your eyes open. Get what you want.

So you're like, rather than have to think of something sad, you just keep your eyes open. Yeah. And then they sting and you're like, ow. Until your body's natural defences are like, water us. Yeah. Water us. Exactly. And then they water you and then you start crying. Right.

It's such a weird thing to think about that it just happens without you thinking about it. Ready, Megan? Like breathing. No, no, no, wait. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. Okay, go. Bourne's doing it too.

You can tell by the crazy look in his eyes. But then, yeah, I went to Anthony Dixon and opened my eyes to what? You look like you're on pee. Yeah. On meth. Yeah. I just had this mushroom drink before. Would you, while we're waiting for the first one to blink.

Oh, it's stinging. You're out. I'm still going. It's stinging. Hey, Megan lasted 17.5 seconds. So this morning, Renee Wright, who's working in the building, we shed a lift. I can't look at you because you look like you're possessed.

She said, have you ever tried these? Yeah. And gave me a, no, it was just like a little. No, you blinked. No, because that's not a shutting look. It's just like a little. You blinked. No, you covered half your eye.

You blinked. No, I'm half your eye. You blinked. No, I'm stopping there. The blink's got to shut completely. Anyway, she gave me this mushroom drink. Yeah. And everyone's weird. It's freaking out. And I'm like, yeah, okay.

It was weird. 35 seconds, by the way. It was like microdosing. So like a mushroom tea. So you pour it in. It's not like a tea because you take it out. If it was a tea, like a tea bag. Or there'd be something left, but it dissolves everything.

Oh, yuck. Yeah. What did it taste like? Weird. Nothing. Okay. Oh, no wonder she's always perky when she does the weather. I know.

She's got... She's microdosing. Hold this space. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, we the human race have again, and I always have a problem with this, claimed a universal first. But we don't know that, do we? No.

Well, because aliens might have done it. Yeah, we don't know. Like, a billion years ago it might have happened on Neptune. We don't know. It was the beginning of the end for them. And now we're claiming that it's a universal first But we don't know

Classic humans I know, it is classic us claiming it But a meat has been grown on the International Space Station Israeli and Russian scientists cultured a tiny piece of beef from stem cells While on the International Space Station Because I just thought they just watch a lot of Netflix up there But they actually have to work of beef from stem cells while on the International Space Station. Because I just thought they just watch a lot of Netflix up there. But they actually have to work. They've always got something going on.

Huh. So they harvested the cells on planet Earth. Yep. Took it to the space station and then grew it in a special 3D printer. Now I'm not one of those ones that lays plastic things. Like you know when you think 3D printer you probably think of the place. I've seen that one on Facebook it built a house. It printed a house. Oh that really massive one that lays plastic things. Like, you know, when you think 3D printer you probably think of the place.

I've seen that one on Facebook that built a house, that printed a house. Oh, that really massive one that squirts concrete. Yes. Wasn't that a great job? Didn't it do a great job on the concrete squirting?

Yeah. Pretty amazing. It's a very, it's a future. Yeah. Park a thing, massive, like right now it's cranes.

Yeah. But one day it will just be like four poles with a printer on it and it'll be like... It's like, oh, I ran out of ink. And then you have to go to warehouse stationery and the ink cartridges are like $400,000.

More expensive than the actual thing. You've got to get them home on two utes or a ute and a trailer. It's cheaper to buy a whole 3D printer again. Oh, yeah. But they only come with one third of the printing material. So they've carried this out and they've said, well, this shows that lab-grown meat can be cultivated in tough conditions with minimal resources.

Yeah, fair call. And this is another thing that they've said, that somebody said, and it's not quite as annoying as the universal first, but they're like, one day, astronauts on the International Space Station will be able to enjoy space burgers. I'm like, what, the thing with meat, everyone's immediately like, make it a burger.

Yeah. Why not do a bolognese? What did the meat, was it like mints when they grew it? Or was it like a steak? Well, it looked like muscle as it is. It didn't come to being minced up. It came to be like a steak. So is it actually

it's actually beef but it was grown Yeah. So it's not So you're not vegetarian. Right.

It's not fake meat because it's from the cells of actual beef. So it's actual meat but it is fake. But it wasn't from an animal. So you can't eat it

if you're vegetarian? No, you wouldn't. Okay. If your problem with vegetarian eat it if you're vegetarian? No, you wouldn't. Okay. If your problem with vegetarian, if the reason you're a vegetarian is because you don't like meat, but if it's primarily based on the cruelty to animal apart from a cell removal. Then maybe it's okay.

No further animal involvement. Does the cell have feelings? That's a good question. No. Well, no, because somebody said lettuce had feelings. You remember that news when lettuce had feelings? You can hear it screaming So you can't win

When it gets eaten by insects But if you're on the International Space Station and you're a vegetarian You're probably going to nom that up right? Because good luck going back to Earth and getting Brussels sprouts How do you ethically euthanise your Lettuce before you eat it? Just chop it off. Real quick.

Just a real quick chop. Yeah, like a gelatin. Just a real quick chop. A gelatin. Get one of those. You know those ones from school with the big blade? Yeah. Just put it in like that.

Like a French guillotine. You don't see those anymore. You're not. Nah. When was the last time you saw one? Dangerous. Why don't I have been at school since I was like... They were wild.

We had them at primary school. Yeah. Like, that's nuts. They're dangerous. Why haven't I ever been at school since I was like... They were wild. We had them at primary school. Yeah. Like, that's nuts. Unsupervised. Yeah. Cut that up. Okay. I think now they have

a plastic guide so you can't come between the blade and the... Oh, and you do... You slide it rather than... Or you slide it, yeah. Or you slide it.

Have a big, like, machete that you pull down that you could put someone's head in. You could unscrew that and you'd have a machete. And paper comes in different sizes now. Mind blown.

Yeah. And the printer can probably take care of most of it. Yeah. That was pretty loose. When you think about it, yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello. Welcome to the Top Six. Thanks. Welcome to the top six.

Thanks. Tesla. It's good to be here. Yeah, okay, thanks. Should I be saying thanks? When you said thanks, it threw me out. When you said welcome, I said thanks. Oh, right.

So you were saying thanks for the welcome. Yeah. Thanks for being here. No worries. Oh, pleasantries. Very confusing, aren't they? I don't know how to deal. How do the humans do it?

So the top six today dealing with Tesla's personalized horns. Now, producer James is doing God's work next door and loading in some sounds that I literally was just like, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one. We need them in 20 seconds. So while he loads those, these are some of the suggested car horn

noises that Elon Musk wanted in Teslas. I'd go. But could you imagine? It sounds a little bit more like a sheep. But imagine you're at the lights and there's that person on their phone and they don't see it go green and then you're like.

That's way less like, meh, than a horn. I've always thought cars need two horns. Yeah. Like a tree horn. No, but that's just a meh. Move it horn.

That's a meh. Nah, because some people can't, meh, nail that, meh, meh, meh, like, well, no, I wouldn't give a meh, meh, meh

if I was at a, meh, meh, meh, the lights and someone hadn't gone. No, you'd give a, I'd give a, meh, meh, but you'd give them a short blast on the aggressive horn. Or I'd give them a, depending on my mood, I might give them a.

Yeah, yeah, that's the aggressive horn. Yeah. And that's when someone starts merging into your lane without looking. Yeah. So here's another sound that Elon Musk has put forward. That's not going to work at the light, though, is it? I don't know why he wants a wind gust. That would be so weird, like awful.

Although if it's a really still day and you walk past the car and it's like... What? I think that's just a mess with people walking past. Another one, the Monty Python coconuts. This is where Monty Python made it look, the sound of riding the horses, but it was just coconuts. I just, like, drive real slowly past someone on a footpath and do the... Here's another one. So, you're at the lights.

It's just gone green, but the person in front of you doesn't move. James, did you just do that into the microphone? Or is it an actual proper sound effect from an online? You know, that's the three of us. Is that all of you having a go? Brilliant. I love it. It's great. Not a bad range.

It's a good range. Yeah, good range. I just wanted to compliment your range there. Good on that range. So these are the top six other ideas that we've had for car horns. Now, you want one that grabs attention. So these are fairly annoying noises. Number six.

Is that a balloon? No. That's polystyrene on glass. That is horrible. Okay, that would make me move my car. Also, it's quite attention-grabbing. Yeah. So, you know, if there was people on bikes or whatever.

Nobody would be washing your window if you played that at the light. Oh, yeah, they come over and, you know. Oh, God, that sounds horrible. Number five on the top six sounds that you could have for a Tesla horn. Oh, no, I can't even know. That's a fork on a plate. No. See, there's some people that that must not bother,

because if you're at a restaurant or a knife and a... You often hear people just getting in. I can't even play that again. That was horrible. A fork on a plate. And at number five. Number four on the list of the attention-grabbing options you can have for a sound effect on your Tesla horn. That's someone eating.

No. No. Oh, the N really got me. Shut your mouth. But it would get people to move, right? Yeah, I think really got me. Shut your mouth. But it would get people to move, right? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Number three on the list of the top six. I just forgot where I was up to.

Number three on the list of the top six sounds for Tesla horns. I love that. Rooster. Yeah, that's good. It's simple. It's an attention grabber. It's not aggressive. That would be like a

Go at the light It would wake you up At the lights Yeah Well if you fell asleep At the lights Then that's a problem But so here's another way

You'd use your horn You're driving down The main road And someone veers Into your lane And you just hit the horn You're like Meh

Like a warning You need to warn them That you know They they're coming. Would this work? Like, probably not, eh? No. Get their attention. They'd look around.

They'd be like, where's that rooster? Oh, I'm on the wrong side of the road. Bloody Tesla. It's too late. It's a Tesla. Today's top six is the top six noises that would make good Tesla horns. Number two. Well, that sounds like a real little yappy, annoying dog.

Yeah, one of those little yappy dogs. They're real cute. See the lights? They're not moving. That's cute. You could have a range of dogs. You could have like little dog, bigger dog, like a big ferocious. That would be your in my lane one. Yeah, just to grab that attention.

Number one on today's top six list of noises that would make good Tesla car horns. Oh my God. We might need to get some friends rights to use that. Yeah, right. You can just upload your own. You could have Janice from Friends as your car horn. Quite an attention grabber. I'd love it.

Just at that right nasally tone. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We are the 13th favourite breakfast show on Nelson, so it's going to be great to see all three listeners. My mum, my dad and my brother. That's a great chance at winning though. It is, yeah.

True. So we want to talk now about a woman who has sent unsolicited messages on the in-flight chat system. So this is, Vaughan and I, oh no, we were sending airdrops that time we were playing games. But you can send messages if you know what seat the person is in. Yeah, Air New Zealand have in-flight messaging. A lot of airlines do.

So it just comes up on the screen in front of you. Yeah, put in the seat number and you send them a message. You don't even have to know them. You just type in the seat number. But you've got to accept messaging. You've got to accept it first. So it says seat whatever wants to talk to you. You're like, yes or no.

But correct me if I'm wrong, someone was arrested for saying they had a bomb or something on their in-flight message as a joke. Oh my goodness. But I'm pretty sure they can see it all. I'm pretty sure that the cabin people, the crew, can see

the messages. They can go into the messaging system and see if everyone's going back and forth. Or maybe there are words that are flagged and stuff. So, yeah. So, I didn't know. Maybe I did. You can change the name. So, it comes up with your seat number and then

you'd make your on-screen name, whatever you need. Yeah, it tells you to put in your name. Yeah. Oh, I must just put Megan. Yeah. But these guys who harassed this woman came up with creative names. So, can I read them out?

One was Dirty Mike. Right. One was Blazer. Simple Jack. One was Big Something Swinger. Wait, so there's like four of them? There's a few of them. So they're all seated together or in a similar area.

So I'd say they know each other. And they have identified that this woman was attractive and they all decided to send her unsolicited messages. So little did they know when they sent her these messages, she works for a legal firm which basically deals with a lot of sexual harassment cases. Okay, wow. So they've messaged the wrong person. Yeah.

So they, can I read them out? You tidy babe is how it started with a winky face. You tidy babe. Bad English. You tidy babe. Bad English. Terrible English. And then welcome to hell. Welcome to hell. You are currently in the danger zone.

What? Very strange messages. But she said you've kind of messaged the wrong person because I work for a firm that specialises in online sexual harassment. Enjoy being reported to Virgin. So she did report it to the cabin crew. They were very swift because they can see where your sister is sitting. Yeah, it's not exactly

anonymous, is it? It's got the seat number. So they went and dealt with them and she didn't get any more messages. But she has said that this is, you know, something that they obviously need to look into. If people are going to send unsolicited messages. I don't know if they got in trouble is the only thing.

Like, what would be, is that an effect? Well, because are there worse messages that you just can't read out? It's not, it's kind of quite aggressive rather than sexually explicit, which is just as terrifying when you don't know who they are. Well, yeah, you're on a plane and these strangers are messaging you. Yeah. So she would like to warn other passengers, like if you don't know who's sitting in that seat,

maybe just don't accept the messages. And also whether they can flag certain words or whatnot to block messages, maybe there needs to be something in what you can name yourself. Yeah, right. Because – Swear words and stuff. And, yeah, like big something swing is probably not really appropriate. No.

Yeah. I wouldn't have thought so, no. No. So we're doing some renovations at our house at the moment. Yeah Couldn't have thought so, no Nah Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM So, um We're doing some renovations At our house at the moment Um

That I didn't think we needed Right You just get told what to do I was happy to live I was happy to live in the house Like I don't really I don't really mind As long as

It's like We had a little A couple of leaks in the roof Yep So I thought that was quite An essential thing to fix Yeah Um Fixed some other stuff That needed fixing But you know Like it's gonna look nice Like we had a couple of leaks in the roof. Yeah. So I thought that was quite an essential thing to fix. Yeah. Fixed some other stuff that needed fixing.

But, you know, like it's going to look nice. Yeah. There's no doubt about that. It's going to look better. But I had no problem with how it looked. I'm not big on the aesthetics of things. I'm more of a practical guy. We should blame the block and Instagram.

Pinterest. I blame Pinterest more than Instagram. Yeah. Because it's always he putting ideas in your wife's head every day yeah

like splashback windows roll in his eyes what is that so it's it's where you have like your cooktop yeah it sounds ridiculous

instead of a splashback you have a whole window. Where a splashback would be. It's going to get greasy, isn't it? Dirty, yeah. But then a splashback gets... You'd have to constantly be window cleaning it every single day. Correct.

But it looks good while it's clean. Okay. So I'm tall. Mate, you just do what you're told This started out as a couple of small things Yeah, because when you first told me You said, oh, we're just going to paint this And knock this little tiny wall out

And I was like, oh, okay You've had to move into the garage Yeah, we're living in the garage Living in the outside room Everything's in the garage That wall's gone Another wall's gone Another wall's been moved.

The kitchen's fully being replaced. All the flooring throughout's going to change. The whole house is being painted. Yeah. So the girls have been away for school holidays. So that's 10 days now they've been at grandparents' house. Yeah. Bless the grandparents.

It'll take the children. Because then they're out of the construction zone. The bad stuff's mostly out of the construction zone and it's been like the bad stuff's mostly out of the way now. Right. Like all the building and all the nails and stuff.

And Sade has gone down for a couple of days as well and just before she left she said to me one thing we forgot to do when I was here was empty everything out of the kitchen because the builder's going to out of the kitchen

because the builder's going to pull out the kitchen and get the walls changed so the new kitchen can go in. Yeah. Did I mention we're getting a new kitchen? Yeah, you did. With a window splash back. You bet your pal. Yeah.

Did you win Lotto and not tell us? No. The bank just gives you money apparently. Oh, right. And you just gives you money apparently. Oh, right. And you keep asking them for more. Right. What it means is I definitely can't lose this job now. Oh, right.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, right. And I've got to get other jobs that I can't lose. Okay, yeah, right. Because here's the twist. Yeah. The bank won that money back with a little bit more money. You're kidding.

Yeah, they want that money. They want more. They want more. With. With a little bit more money. You're kidding. Yeah, they want that money. With more money. Because you borrowed their money. Yeah, right. But they make it seem so, like, simple and easy and like, ah, I just have it. I know. I know.

But they want it back. And they want a bit more. Again, the block don't tell you that, do they? Oh, they kind of do right at the end where they don't make their reserves and then you see people's, like, life drain from their eyes because they've just given 12 weeks for nothing. Yeah, okay, yeah, right. That's kind of the same feeling as just having a bank

have your genitals in a tight grasp for 35 years. Yeah, right, okay, all right. So she says, oh, I forgot to do it. And I said, oh, well, should we just tell the builder to delay that part until you get back? Yeah. And she's like, oh like oh no it needs to be done I was like well why don't you hang around for a few more hours if we really

get stuck in we can probably get it done in two hours I've no I've got to go I've told people that I'll be there at a certain time I'm like those people are my parents I can communicate to them quite quickly that you're going to be a few hours late and it's going to be no problem.

No, it's, I've got to go. I was like, just wait till I get home and we'll discuss this and I get home. Gone. And then I get messages like, how's the kitchen going? Like nagging you that it's done. This is what needed to be like,

and you do not know how much stuff's in your kitchen until you're trying to find boxes and places to put it all. There's all your knives and your forks and that weird drawer that's like two or three down that used to be packed with plastic bags, RIP, but you'd be like, well, now that there's no plastic bags, that's going to be empty, but somehow, miraculously, it's just still full of stuff.

And then below that, you've got the tea towel drawer where you're going to put the tea towels. They don't even live in a drawer or on the handle of the oven. Don't even get me started on corner cupboards. That's where I chuck everything I don't need. Goddamn corner cupboards when you're six foot two and 90 odd kgs

trying to clamber into the back of them to get out some pot that you've got absolutely no purpose for. And then you find this thing and you send a photo to your wife. You're like, what even is this? And she's like, that's for rolling sushi. And you're like, throw that straight in the bin she's like, that's for rolling sushi. And you're like,

throw that straight in the bin. When was the last time anyone here rolled sushi? And so I'm slowly working my way around. There's the drawers and then there's the cupboard that's got all the plates in it. And like they stack well in a cupboard, but they do not stack well in a box.

And then there's the corner cupboard, as I said, that I've clambered into. There's a God knows how many oven dishes we need. I don't believe we've ever had that many roasts. This is your fault you know that eh? Why is it my fault? You lacked the foresight. She

100% remembered that it needed to be done but she didn't mention it until it was too late. Well I didn't know it was my fault that someone would lie to me and I would be deceived in my marriage. Anyway, it took me like granted there were a couple of chicken breaks where I went out and played with the chickens

and then Harold jumped the fence yesterday. Wouldn't you know it? Back into that habit. He got a smack on the horn. That's my goat by the way. I didn't think we were allowed to smack our goats anymore. No, you're allowed to smack your goats. Just lightly tap them. On the horn. Where the horns meet the head.

It's a very hard part because they're always bashing the head. It's more of a don't do that. He jumped the fence, so I needed to get him back in. But I was at it until 10.30 last night, and I haven't done the fridge. Oh, God. Man, is she going to hear about it. For ages. Guess who's getting a bigger TV?

Oh, Christ. Me. Please, bank. I'll be in touch later on today for some more of that money. For ages. Guess who's getting a bigger TV? Me, please bank. I'll be in touch later on today for some more of that money. Send her a photo of that mini tractor. I do want to buy that little tractor. You're right. I deserve it. One day's work equals $7,000 tractor.

That's a cute little restored tractor though. That's a really cute tractor. I would like to know on the back of this, when did your partner just leave you to it? Like a big job that two people, or maybe more, would have thrived at, and they just walked away. I'm pretty sure, didn't I leave someone to move out? I... You went overseas.

I've done that. We were moving out of a flat. I was like, I can't, I'm going overseas today. I've done that. We were moving out of a flat and I was like, I can't, I'm moving overseas. I'm going overseas today. I've done that. Wasn't it for work though? Weren't we going somewhere? But I did maybe schedule that for the same day. I went on a hen's weekend over to the Goldie

and my ex-husband had to move houses. Ex-husband. So moving, like this was, I put everything in boxes and took it like 30 metres to the garage. Right. You made someone move an entire house by themselves? That's pure evil.

All right, 0800DARLSATM, give us a call. You can text now 9696. When did your partner leave you to it? You had to do it all by yourself. We want to know when you've been left to do something that your partner definitely could have helped you with. And maybe they left you to do that and it was planned. Yeah.

Totally accidental. Calculated. She definitely forgot that the kitchen needed to be emptied. Calculated exit. One of the things I was given, one of the things that was said to me when I said, well, we can wait. We should do this kitchen pack up together,

which is what we're talking about, was, well, I packed the girls' rooms. And I said, yeah, but when you were packing the girls' rooms, I was packing the other rooms. So that's a void argument. Yeah, yeah, that cancels each other out. Yeah, that's like, hello? But it's also not a competition, is it?

Have we ever argued before? I've like, checkmate, done. This argument's done. So we want to know when you've just been left to deal with something. Your partner definitely should have been there to help. Erin, what happened? So I'm the one that kind of left. Erin.

We were moving house. To be fair, 90% of it was his stuff because it was before we moved my stuff. But packed up my car with the small stuff that didn't need to go in the trailer or whatever. Plus the dog. Right. So I went ahead to the new place, unpacked my car within five minutes and spent the next four hours or so just playing with the dog in the new place. Right, and all this time your boyfriend was having to pack up his stuff and move it over.

Yeah, him and his mum. Erin, unbelievable. Oh, you left your mum there. Now that's a good chance for a mother to get in his ear about how lazy you are. Yeah. Oh no, it gets better. When we were packing up my place to get in his ear about how lazy you are. Yeah. Oh no, it gets better. When we were packing up my place to move in as well, we weren't living together at the time, packed up my car, I had his sister in the car with me, and then he ended up in the

ute with my parents and my brother with all the other big stuff. And me and his sister left them to take all my stuff off the trailer while we played with the new kitten. You've got to stop getting animals, I think. They're very distracting for you. Erin, thanks for your call. Zach, when were you left

by your partner to do it all? This one happens all the time, morning team. Morning. So my partner will chuck a full load of washing in the washing machine and then duck off to be out to get in coffees or catch me up with friends and text me and be like, hey, I put the washing in the washing machine.

Can you hang that up or sort that out? Like a grenade. That's the hard part. It's like a grenade. I did the washing. Yeah. I put it in the machine so now it's your turn to step up and hang it up. Yeah. No, this is, and you might,

your partner might evolve to this, Zach, as I've got like a fully evolved Pokemon wife when it comes to this. She'll do a full load of washing and then be like, oh, and she'll say it out loud to herself in the laundry. Oh,

I can't be bothered hanging it up. I'll put it all in the dryer. Now she says that because- Yeah, we have that all the time as well. That triggers me, Zach. I'm like, that's not going to dry properly if you put it all in the dryer. Now she says that because that triggers me, Zach. I'm like, that's not going to dry properly if you pack that much

in the dryer. And so I'm like, it's a fair bit of suicide. We get the one, oh, I go, she'll text me and go, I'll just tuck it in the dryer. She'll be like,

oh no, some of that can't go in the dryer, but she won't tell me what, so I have to hang the whole stuff up. She's got you figured out, Zach. She does it, she does. Thanks you, cool mate. It's great work. Maybe, Zach. She does it. Thanks for your call, mate.

It's great work. We could get back at them. And the washing, I tell you what. No, because they do the washing part, so the red socks aren't going to go on with the white things. And then it would just be another trip to Decuba to buy some more clothes. They've got us cornered. My husband gapped it to my friend's birthday, reads this text us. They've got us cornered.

My husband gapped it to my friend's birthday, reads this text message, while we were stripping wallpaper. As he left, he said, just lightly spray the walls with water and that will make the paper soft

and it'll be easy to get off. Into the garden sprayer filled with water. He got home and the walls were dripping with water and the carpets were soaked, but the paper was off.

And she'll never be left alone again. Yeah, don't get good at something you don't want to do. We were both really pissed off, but nobody said anything. Because he couldn't say, like, you've ruined it because he went to the party, but she couldn't be like, you went to the party because she'd ruined the walls. Just a lot of heavy nostril breathing. Big, big standoff there. Yeah.

Somebody said you're basically describing military families. You just get told you're moving, but your partner might be deployed. So it's just like, oh, yeah, you're moving house. I've moved five times now. Every one of those, I've been left to clean the house after the movers have been through,

but I have to pack everything up for the movers. And he's probably on base playing pool with the boys. If military moves anything to do. Yeah. And then the pages go off and they end up in Iraq. Yeah, and then they just like go for a bit of a skirt in one of those like fighter jets. Yeah.

It's definitely all it is. Yeah. Yeah. Every time it happens, I tell myself this is not happening again. And then whammo, it's always moving time while he's away. But somebody else said that happened to them and they were pregnant at the same time. So that was a double whammy. I left my partner, my husband, to paint the whole house inside and out

and took a girls weekend. Much needed. Someone said, we're moving next weekend. And guess who's decided they should go away for work for the week. Yeah, good idea But then also You're going to come back To quite a hostile Household

Situation yeah Some bad juju In the new household Yeah pretty much ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast A third of Kiwis It turns out

From a recent study Have been impacted By their partner's use of cell phone. Okay. So they've found that more than one in three people feel negatively impacted by their partner spending too much time on their phone. Or the perception of. Because you know how they're like, you're on your phone all the time.

It's like, I'm not actually. I'm just on my phone at this moment where you've chosen not to be on yours. Perception is reality. Okay. Also, 46% of those people say that phone use has affected their relationship with young children. We'll go to the only daddy on the show. Oh, I would totally, yeah, totally, totally.

You find yourself, like, when you say to your kids, go and wash your hands for dinner, and they're like, just wait a minute. You're like, where did they hear that? And then they're trying to tell you something and you your hands to dinner and they're like just wait a minute you're like where did they hear that and then they're trying to tell you something and you're just like hold on just a minute

and you're trying to like finish what you're doing on your phone like send a message or whatever you're like well they've just learned directly off me

when I've said it to them previously this whole wait a minute situation wait a minute wait a minute hold on just a minute but that's not bad

that's learning patience isn't it like wait a second mummy's just going to like buy this yeah but not when you're like go and wash your hands like wait a second mummy's just going to Yeah but not when you're like go and wash your hands like wait a minute

I'm almost done here wait a minute so it doesn't work as well that way around. But how do you feel with Mr Toyboy? Is sometimes he on his phone and you're like

get off your phone. So I would argue that we I haven't checked the screen time but we have the same amount of time on our phones. Well that's exactly how you have the same amount of time on our phones.

Well, that's exactly how you find out who spends more time on their phones. I know, but I'm a bit worried about it, actually. Because didn't you have this, like, an argument, well, not an argument, but a discussion? Yep, there was. A robust discussion. A robust discussion about who spent more time on their phone,

and I said, well, pull up the screen time, and she had more. But do you break it down to what you're doing? Because he's like, I'm doing lots of stuff for the business, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, I'm looking at Instagram for my work. You can see in there what apps

you've spent the time on. Yeah, okay. But I'm scared to like, I'd rather like argue in ignorance. You're scared of being wrong. Yeah. Right, okay. Just blindly argue with no actual backing to it. Because then I could be right. I don't want scared of being wrong. Yeah. Right, okay. Just blindly argue with no sort of actual backing to it. Because then I could be right. I don't want to be proved wrong.

But then some couples will do the whole let's put our phone down thing, won't they? Yeah, yeah. And have rules about no phone this kind of time of the day or night. Why don't you roll your eyes?

Oh, this is like, no phones, I don't know. No phones in the bedroom. I see. I think no phones in the bedroom is a great idea. How are you going to make videos? What?

It's about you have the secret folder, not me. Megan's got a secret folder on her phone that you need a pin word for. Don't throw me under the bus. I've never made a sex tape. Carl Fleeker. Why are you red? Why are you bright red? I haven't.

Anyway. Because you're like making a run look at me and that's making me blush. Which is also what he said to the director. The director. Oh, you're going to do a job. Do it right. They had that clipboard thing.

Clipboard. Sound speed. Flet right. Get a director. They had that clipboard thing. Clipboard. Yeah. Clipboard sync. Sound speed. Rolling. Fletch. Sexy time. Booms and shot. Take.

Yeah. This did not happen. Why is this happening? The boom. Oh, you lift your boom out. No, no. Go from the top. Okay.

Are we done here? We're done there. We've had a fairly good rag on you. What other stats did it have about this phone usage? Oh, I thought you meant his tape. No, that was pretty much it, really. Right. Yeah.

Okay, well, if people wanted to find your video, what's the sort of keywords? What are you doing? Next on the show, we've blown the budget this year. It turns out this financial year. And we're going to go through the top budget blows. This is the show, we've blown the budget this year. It turns out this financial year. And we're going to go through the top budget blows. This is the show budget. Yeah, this is the show budget.

Because isn't the government got some cash? Yeah, they've got a surplus of like 7.5 bills. So they should probably give us tax cuts. Nah, because there's a whole lot of stuff that needs sorting. Tax cuts in there. I'll put it to her on Friday when we talk to her. I'll say, going into the next election, you need a rebrand as tax cuts in there. Cinder. I'll put it to her on Friday when we talk to her. I'll say, going into the next election,

you need a rebrand as Tax Cut Cinder. And, like, what will the Nats say then? Hard to come back from that, isn't it? Tax Cut Cinder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She needs you on her team. Win-win. I should do social media for her.

Except for those skeletons. But then you've got to promise her Fletcher skeletons. Well, no, I'd be in charge of the Labour Party Instagram and accidentally upload something. Your sex tape. They don't have a sex tape. And luckily it's under a minute so it'll fit on an Instagram video. The Great Nelson Preset Reset. Well we are the 13th favourite radio show

in Nelson, the top of the South Island. Megan's hometown. We're looking to change that. Disappointing. Next Friday, we'll be broadcasting live. I don't know what we're going to be doing down there, but we'll be there with presents. And that apparently, according to the marketing lecturer, is all we need.

But there is no money to do it. We are doing a pub quiz. I don't know where. We're doing the Cha-Chingo Bingo, but I don't know where we're doing that. And I don't know if we've got any, we're doing the cha-ching-go-bingo, but I don't know where we're doing that. What? And I don't know if we've got any money to rent the microphones and speakers and stuff either.

Somebody just messaged saying their dad's Rob. He's a taxi driver. Yep. And Nelson, and he... Oh, I missed the word might give you free transport. Well, no, because we all need a ride from the airport. I can ask Dad. We can all fit in the back of his van.

We have to sit in the back of the van, yeah. We're not going in that van. It's got signs. What does this vehicle say? Erections by Wayne. It's a sign erector. Yeah, I know, but it's just a bit. Producer Caitlin.

Good morning. Executive producer Caitlin Jane Mara. In charge of our budgets for the year. You're like CFO of the show. And we have money we can spend. And you've even got a Prezi card that you go out and spend. So if we need a costume or a silly thing or a lunch. It's fun from your end, but it's not fun from my end.

So it is the 9th of October. The show finishes, as it always does, in December. Where's all the money gone this year? I can't remember any big spends. Oh, really, Megan? Really? I can. I have a list.

And the thing is that I can't even remember where some of this came from. Like, I get dates and a brief description and then how much it costs. Well, let's point some fingers here because we can't have members of the show running at, like, Megan. Description and then how much it costs. Well, let's point some fingers here. Because we can't have members of the show running it like Megan. Right, Fletch.

Right. How often do we have to do a video or a photo shoot or someone comes and Megan's like, I need makeup. We'll get to that. That's $500 a pop. Excuse me. You're going to make a whole cover of this? Money well spent, though. It takes some ages to fill in your eyebrows that just stop halfway.

Oh my God, do my eyebrows stop halfway? Guys, this is not a time to argue with each other. We've got to argue our case in a financial court of law. Right, okay. I would like to remind you of the one helicopter ride that Fletch and Vaughn took. I wasn't even on that. That was money well spent for four seconds in a video. Where we

chop it into field days. We should looking like absolute pimps. Pimps. Like farmer pimps. And we got out and people were like, oh my god. It was farmer pimps. They came to field days in a helicopter. It was money well spent. We used to have a rule where if it's over a certain amount of money,

all three of us have to do that because I wasn't even a part of that. Thing is, you weren't at field day. So Vaughn and I made an executive decision. This is what happens when I'm not around. Okay, well, that's like half the budget gone. Remember when we did... By the way, helicopters are real expensive. I know. Funny that.ters are real expensive I know Funny that

Oh yeah I know They're like Oh it's petrol Or whatever they put in them But like Have you seen how much petrol is It's not that much They're like

Oh it's hundreds of dollars an hour How And when Fletch wants a helicopter We get a helicopter And we use the budget Well no Vaughan wanted the helicopter As much as I did

Now remember when we dropped the chip Into the dip The great chip dip The great Now, remember when we dropped the chip into the dip? The great chip dip. The great chip dip. Yeah. Now, we didn't... We got that cherry picker, didn't we? Yes, we did.

We did, however, have to buy, well, spend $500 to buy the reduced cream and Nestle soup mix for the dip. We needed a giant bowl of dip. We needed, I know. That wasn't going to appear from nowhere, Caitlin. Exactly. So, I'm just saying that all going to appear from nowhere, Caitlin. Exactly. So I'm just saying that all these things add up. What happens to that dip? That's a three feet of glitter there.

Did anyone attend it? Remember I dropped it? Oh, yeah. And it flopped on the... All over the cherry picker that we got for free. That's pretty... We probably got a cherry picker... Soilage fee.

Soilage fee. Yeah. So I couldn't get all the dip off. And you remember the bingo balls that you lost, or did you give them away? Is that right? Yeah, that was very generous of you. Well, that costs hundreds of dollars of shipping

to get those bingo balls from overseas. So that went into our budget as well. They were special bingo balls from Europe, I believe. German engineering. German engineering balls. Bingo balls. The best. Now, those microphones that you guys use are also used by other people,

but you're the ones that break them. But why do we get billed for that? Because look at the way that you treat them, Fletch. Okay, but it screws into this little plastic holding, and that over time... That's an engineering weak point. That's an engineering weak point, And Clint also uses this microphone. But it breaks on me because I use it the next day.

Because you're the one that I know for a fact that... I've broken two this year, but it's not on me. We shouldn't have to pay for that. They come out of our budget. I'm just hearing this list and none of them I'm responsible for. No, well, you were involved in the business lunches that we have had. But business lunches are a necessity. Yeah, but not those five slices that Vaughan takes home with him afterwards

and puts on the account. But it's important to pack for later. And also, Vaughan, I don't even remember this, and I don't know how you got this credit card, but you came into work, you Ubered into work from QMU, and it says, like, you were only here for, for like 20 minutes and then you ubered home. Yeah. Well, they wanted me to come to this work thing.

No, because I wanted to have like three beers in the 20 minutes I was here, so I did that and then like, now people saw my face and then I just went home again. I'm always sold as the overspender here, but still I'm not seeing anything on there that's my fault. There has been a couple of times that we've had guests in the studio, Megan, and you had to get your hair and makeup done.

Yeah. Such a diva. A bottomless brunch, which we had at the start of the year, which I can't even remember. Team building. I wasn't there either for that. I didn't go to that either. Fletcher, did you go to a bottomless brunch?

My friends really enjoyed that bottomless brunch. And, Bourne, you have thrown at least six coffee cups in the studio, smashed them everywhere as cleaning services, and then we also have to get the coffee cups replaced. So what you're saying is there's no money to do anything in Nelson? Well, no. I feel like we're being unfairly deducted. You think money grows on trees, you kids.

It doesn't. It's called operating costs. Caitlin, deal with it. No, you've got to be smart about these things and you've got to be frugal. Be as frugal with the money account as you are with your own. Okay? Well, yeah, no, that's it.

It's not the same, is it? It's my money. I'm not spending mine. Oh, my God. But the CFO just shouldn't say yes every time we ask for something. We need a no person. I know, but it's hard because I want these things too sometimes. Because you love a business lunch too,

don't you, Caitlin? I do. I know. Oh my God. Okay, we need it. We actually need to go to some, we need some help. Someone said, yeah,

didn't you guys buy a bing bong thing for a door gag for one time at the start of the year for Bunnings? That's right. Have you still got the big model? Oh my god, we had to turn it off because the producers, it's so annoying. Turn that on again, that was so much fun.

Every time someone came into the producers booth it was like Bunnings! It cost so much money because I had to go to Bunnings and then I had to get the special batteries for it. And no one ever goes to Bunnings for only one thing. And I actually bought like three of them because I didn't know which was the right one. Yeah, that's so great.

God, that was fun. It was like you were working in a dairy. Yeah. It was great. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So there is some new research that has revealed

that more than half of Kiwis would rather trust their mum to pick them a partner than a dating app. 57%. Really? Because people just, even though we're all on dating apps and everything, you just don't trust people until you've known them for a long period of time. But then it's like word of mouth. If you want to get something done for anything or know a good place to go,

you want like get something done for anything or know a good place to go. You want reference from someone. And I guess if a family member or your mum or whatever has met this person, they can vouch for them. They might have got a good vibe off them. They might be like, well, you should date this person. Yeah. No one knows you better than your mum.

Wow. She raised you. True. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I'd trust my mum to pick someone for me though. She raised you True Yeah Yeah Yeah I don't know if I'd trust my mum To pick someone for me though Because when she

When I was younger She like Would No What? She just had like A few guys that would She was like

Oh he's really lovely And I was like Yeah but Nah he's like a It's a bit I'll go mum She didn't have very good like Aesthetic taste Right And I was like, yeah, but nah, he's like a... I go, mum. She didn't have very good, like, aesthetic taste.

Right. Do you know what I mean? Well, she picked your dad. Yeah. No. No, he's great. I'm digging myself a hole. But, like, I wouldn't trust my mum because she's going on, like, nice guy. Should I share this photo on my Facebook members from today?

So maybe people shouldn't be throwing stones when they live in glass houses, I go. I was little then. That's before I had braces. Your mum was just matching up with what you were then. Yeah, she was being realistic. She knew what her daughter was. She wasn't matchmaking me at 10.

You're being mean to a 10-year-old there. Yeah, but I know what she's become, so I know she's strong enough to handle it. But no, I mean, your mum might find like a nice guy but that doesn't mean you're going to be like

attracted to them as well. Do you think I would trust Bev? Do you think Bev would be able to? Yeah, because you are so much like your mum. You're both very like

no BS, just like savages. Yeah. I reckon she would do great. But your mum's also nicer than you because she's got a maternal streak but you don't have that. I don't have that at all. Okay. I reckon she would do great. But your mum's also nicer than you because she's got a maternal streak, but you don't have that.

I don't have that. Right. Okay. But I think she'd do a good job. I don't think my mum ever – just thinking about it, my mum was never like, she's a nice girl or anything like that. She just kind of stayed out of it. Oh, really?

Yeah, right. She probably knew she was just – no hope. She'd just sit back and hopefully cross her fingers one day something would happen. Yeah, what did she say when she met Sade? Like, how's this happening? Yeah, pretty much that was the whole, that's everybody's vibe when it first started happening.

Even Sade's parents thought, what's happening? Everybody thought, what's happening? But no, never got involved in the old matchmaking. No. Producer Caitlin, did your mum ever try to set you up with anyone? I feel like she would have. Yeah. Back in Twizzle.

Where are you from again? Twizzle, fairly. Definitely, I actually think I would trust my mum over anyone else. She's very good with, like, other aspects of my life, helping me with that. She definitely is, like, always comments on my friends. She's like, oh, how's he doing? Oh, what's he doing? Has he got a girlfriend? Oh, he's really nice. So, like, just wants me to. She's like, oh, how's he doing? Oh, what's he doing? Has he got a girlfriend?

Oh, he's really nice. So like just wants me to get one. Like hint, hint. Does she like everyone? No, no, she doesn't. She's very, yeah, she's very picky as well. You've never been home and she's like, well, you've got to make Kathy and Steve's boy. Yeah, no, but all of the ones, they're all married now.

And you would have known them forever, right? Yeah. People don't move to fairly. And like some of them that I grew up with, I was like, no. And you would have known them forever, right? People don't move to fairly. And some of them that I grew up with, I was like no, and now I'm like, oh yeah, they would be good. Because they've got hot? Yeah, and they're successful and they're really kind people. Oh, so they've just got money.

No, no, no, and they've grown to be very nice people and then I'm like, oh, but they're already married with like three kids, so I've really, yeah, I miss the boat. Most people have 2.5 marriages. Okay. So it's kind of homery. missed the boat. Most people have 2.5 marriages. Okay. So it's kind of... Homework. What you're saying is you're encouraging her to homework. I'm so sure.

So we wanted to ask this morning on the back of this, has mum ever set you up with someone, like a date, and how did it turn out? Mum's like, you've got to go on a date, you've got to meet this guy, or vice versa. Because I just don't think it would work because mum knows you but doesn't know what you're learning. But does she really know?

When you leave home and you're not under the same roof. Yeah. You try some things. Shenanigans may have happened and you're a different person. Oh, you've got to meet this boy from church and you're like, he's not going to do what's that mum call? I'll hear you out but

how church? So 0800 DARS at M 9696. Has mum ever tried to set you up on a date and how did it go? Was it good or bad? Maybe you're still with them or maybe it was the worst idea mum has ever had. Give us a call. Text 9696.

So it turns out that over half of Kiwis would trust their mum to pick a partner rather than any kind of dating app. Which is... 57%. It's a lot of people putting trust in mum. Yeah. That she knows what kind of guy or girl that you'd like.

She's not going to pick the bad boys, you know? Well, no, but sometimes mums like the bad boys, don't they? Well, that's true. But they want the bad boys for themselves. They don't want the bad boys for their daughters. Yeah, true. So we want to know when mum has set you up on a date. And I don't know, maybe it ended great or maybe it was an absolute disaster.

Zara, what happened? Oh, my gosh. Well, we were outside the warehouse and he was one of those people that, you know, they save the animals, so you pay money for the animals. And he was really gorgeous. My mum's dad had very good taste. He almost liked, you know, Aquaman material. Yep.

So anyway. Wait, wait, wait. He's trying to get you to like save the bees from the cages or something. He wants you to sign up to a monthly debit. Yeah, that's what they do. I mean, funny enough, my mum actually signed up. She actually signed up on the spot. And she's like, give him your number.

I'm like, no, mum, this was quite embarrassing. But he was smiling. He thought it was hilarious. And the girl with him, my gosh, she was so red in the face. She was so embarrassed. It's probably his girlfriend. So, so embarrassed. No, no no i think they

were just working together well they were working together we are still friends now believe it or not he ended up walking to the car giving me his phone number um and we hung out a few times and like we still talk now he was such a great guy um no i would totally trust my mum like that funny enough now though i am happily engaged but, yeah. And you still think about him. Is mum still paying for the saving the pandas or the bears or whatever? She only stopped a few months ago.

When you got engaged, you and mum were engaged, mum's like, cancel the animal saving! That's not going anywhere, that's a waste of money. Kirsty, what happened? Hey, so, funnily enough, I was actually kind of seeing somebody else at the time. And I kind of went away for the weekend to go and see him. And anyway, my mum ended up meeting a friend of her son.

And she said to him, you'd be perfect for my daughter. You guys would be perfect. A year later, we ended up finally becoming official. So, things were going great. Yeah. But unfortunately, they didn't end well. ended up finally getting, becoming official. So things were going great. Yeah. But unfortunately, unfortunately they didn't end well. So we ended up breaking up.

I think my mum holds a lot of guilt for that. She keeps saying, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. So sorry it didn't work out. But I tell you what, my mum's got the best intentions for me and my daughter, so, her granddaughter. So I would fully trust my mum again. Well, you gave it a good shot. And it's not her fault, like things end.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I mean, I had been single for a very long time. So I think it came as a huge shock to everybody when I started actually officially dating this guy. And he was a wonderful guy. It's just that, you know, we were just looking for different things in life. Well, mum knows better than Tinder, it turns out.

Hey, hey, I tell you what, Mum knows a lot better than Tinder. And she's got no advertising. No, she doesn't charge me. She didn't charge me. Bonuses. Kirsty, thanks for your call. Naomi, did your mum set you up? Well, she sort of tried. She was talking to somebody. Naomi, thanks for your call. Naomi, did your mum set you up? Well, she sort of tried.

She was talking to somebody. Naomi, can I just ask, are you on an old sailing ship? No, I'm in a car on speaker. Oh, it just sounded like a rope was tightening. I thought you were launching a spinnaker or something. Whatever that is. Is that a thing? I don't know.

She'll be on the grinder next. So, yeah, my mum tried. She was talking to somebody, and they had a son, I don't know. She'll be on the grinder next. So, yeah, my mum tried. She was talking to somebody, and they had a son in his 30s. Yeah. And he was single and a lawyer. Mum's like, hello. 30, lawyer, yeah, go on. Yeah, and she's like, well, my daughter is also single and in her 30s,

so, you know, this could be a thing. And they kept talking, and it turned out that he couldn't cook. And so my mum said, well, no, you know, this is not going to happen because why should my daughter have to do all the cooking just because you never taught your son how to cook? I mean, it still sounds like you're on a pirate ship. I really just tripped. Or it sounds like you've been on holiday

and bought one of those wooden frogs with lumps on its back and, you know, you rub the... But anyway, so mum calls us off before it even starts You've been on holiday and bought one of those wooden frogs with lumps on its back. And you know, you rub the... But anyway. Wow. So mum calls us off before it even starts because this guy can't cook. Yeah, yeah. Wow.

Because in her mind, she was playing out the whole scenario. And she didn't want you married to this guy for years, always been tied to domestic duties. Exactly, yeah. Because that, of course, meant you wouldn't be able to go on the ship that you're currently on. Well, yeah. How can I, you know, sail the black whale or, you know, wrap it up? Exactly. Because that, of course, meant you wouldn't be able to go on the ship that you're currently on. Well, yeah. How about, you know, sail the Black Pearl or, you know, wrap it up.

Exactly. Exactly. And the Endeavor replica, which is currently, say, like a year. It's been... Really? You want to sail a little? Good for the show.

Thank you, Naomi. Some other text messages to finish up. I split with my partner of 10 years. A couple of weeks later, my mum invited her boss to my brother's wedding to meet me and try to set us up. Okay. He was twice my age, and I later found out he had a terminal illness.

He was a lovely old man, but I'm not sure whether mum was setting me up for another heartbreak or she was hoping he was going to write me into his money. Yeah, I wasn't laughing at the terminal illness. I was just at the fact that mum's setting sitting up with someone that's about to die. Mum thought that was a good idea, yeah. My grandmother brought home my father to meet my mum, and they've been married 39 years now. Oh, wow.

Isn't that a little bit cute? Yeah. Somebody else said that the first guy mum tried to set me up with was eating the leftovers from the table next to us at the pizza restaurant he took me to. So I was like, mommy ate leftovers off the table next to us. Mommy's man king. Second one though, after a lot of persistence, I'm still with now and we've bought a house

together. Now, I don't know if that persistence came from mom or the persistence to stay with this person to buy a house with them. Yeah, right. Okay. I don't know. So, I mean, we're hearing that mums do know best, don't we?

Yeah. So trust your mum. My mother took me to a function because she wanted to introduce me to someone she knew through one of her friends. I was 23. He was 45 with two kids and looking for a stepmother for them.

Mum just thought it would be nice. I would just be able to slip right into their family. Okay, maybe mum doesn't know best. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark

data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey guys, let's get back into that podcast. Sean Pendes, Camilla Cabello on CDM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Fletch just said he wants some knickers. That was what he said just before. That's why Megan's giggling. You know that I do that thing where I bulk buy all my socks and undies at the same time.

Well, I'm reaching that stage where all of my undies are reaching the end of their life cycle at the same time. Right. So you do need some knickers. So I do, yeah. That's just what I was telling you off air, but you've brought that on air. So people now know that I have holy undies. Wow. That's right.

Time to get some new ones. It's time for... Holy gooch. That's good. I've really offended somebody. Yeah. It's time for... It's. Yeah. It's time for... It's time for...

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about Levi jeans. Okay. Originally made for gold mining. Is that where they started? Gold Levi's jeans were like... They were a worker's pant. Because of the rivet.

Yeah. The rivet's in there. Which you'll find on most jeans now. They all have a rivet. A rivet? Well, the rivet, that was originally painted. The copper riveted waist overalls. And yeah, they were a working pant.

And they were called the 501. But today's fact of the day is kind of about the 501. And we're like, what does it mean? And also, you know, the design on the back pockets? Yep. The arc on the back pockets. Levi's does not know the significance of those historical

things that are so Levi's. Yep. Because there was a massive fire at the headquarters in 1906 and they lost all their records. So they don't know why they're called 501s. They know they made a 201 and they were a cheaper version. Right. But they don't know what 501

stood for. So forever it's just been 501. But they don't know what 501 stood for. So, but for Everett's it's been 501. But it became, yeah, synonymous with the jeans. So they just kept using it even though they've got no idea. And they know that the arc on the back pocket meant something. They just don't know what. They just did it and it was pretty and they were like, okay, keep that. What does it mean, the arc?

That thing. Yeah. The stitching on the back of the pocket. The stitching on the back pocket. Oh. That's kind of, you know, on and off. Because every kind of jean will do a different one, won't they? Like a lot of brands will have their own unique stitching in the pocket. Do they know what the 201 stands for?

Because isn't it just more of that? Well, that's what they thought. It might have been like a weight of the denim used because the 201 was cheaper and it was a lighter weight, but they can't prove that that was the case. And they just know that it was a 201. They don't know exactly what the 201 was. And it was all because of a fire that lost all their records.

Yeah. I got, and completely unrelated, I got sent a denim jacket to head to work last week. And I just kept it secret because... Why didn't I get a denim jacket? I didn't want them. I didn't want judgment. Okay. Because when I wore a denim jacket,

oh, it was the end of the world. Everybody, you wear something different around here. You wear a shirt with a collar. Yep. Everyone's like, got a job interview. You wear a denim jacket. Granted, I'm also responsible for this being said to other people. Because you made your bed.

If I wear any colour... I've been waiting, I'm wearing green today. I'm waiting for some comment about Kermit or something. Or if I wear orange, it's Jetstar. Or it's just like, you can't win. If you wear a rich blue, we call you, I'd never say Grimace. Okay. I'd never say Grimace. Rich blue, I'm talking about national.

I'd say Barney the dinosaur, but I wouldn't say Grimace. If it was a rich blue, definitely we would call you Jenny Shipley. Yeah, Auntie Jenny. Auntie Jenny, because you're related to her. She was the leader of the National Party. Former Prime Minister, yeah. At some stage. But yeah, I didn't want to wear the denim jacket because I didn't want,

hey, cool, dude. And that's what you get when you wear a denim jacket. Around here, yeah. But I put it on the shirt. I said, that's very nice. You should wear that to work. And I was like, I don't think I will because everyone will be like. You've left it in the car.

Hey, dude. And now you've said something. We're totally going to give you shit for it. Yeah. But I could wear it. But I'm not going to. I'll just stick to the same thing I wear every day. You know what?

Tomorrow, you wear it. I love that a denim jacket is branching out for you. I did test the waters yesterday. I wore a sweatshirt. Did you notice I wore a sweatshirt yesterday? Yeah, but you wear a sweatshirt before. Yeah, but I thought you were coming down with a... I thought you might be coming down with a cold or something.

Yeah, I don't really wear a sweatshirt. It's just this green jacket I wear every day or a black hoodie. Born branched out and wore a grey male sweatshirt. That was me testing the waters to see if anyone would be like, you're a bit chilly, are you, mate? I thought that. I thought that. But it's weird

because I would just literally wear the same clothes every single day. Yeah. I've just got like white, black and grey. Yeah.

The whole time. Yeah. So it is weird when I wear something different people point it out. Yeah. But no, I don't think I will.

I wore it to the pub. Were they receptive? Yeah, but they don't know that I wear don't wear anything apart from the same thing every day. Right. Okay. Soimentary? They don't know that I don't wear anything apart from the same thing every day. So I didn't get

any compliments but I didn't get any like ragging so I call that a win. Okay. So today's fact of the day is Levi's

don't know what 501 stands for because there was a fire and it burned all their records. Fact of the day day day

day day day day day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I love New Zealand, whatever that is, has conducted a big survey. They've asked 18,000 people, New Zealanders and visitors to New Zealand, their favourite Kiwi slang words. And they've come up with the top ten. Okay.

Ten. Ta. Ta. Ta. Oh, ta is the right thing. Thanks. Ta. That's what you teach your kids.

Ta. I don't really say that much. Do you think you hear that much that often? Ta. Just when you're little, you get ta because it's easy. You just be your kids. Ta. I don't really say that much. Do you think you hear that much that often? Ta. Just when you're little, you get ta because it's easy. You just be like ta. Ta. Yeah, right.

Ta. Nine is gutted. Oh, gutted. That's gutted, not gutter-erded. Yeah, because I don't like when people spell, oh my God, I'm so gutter-ed. Gutter-ed. You're guttering. What are you guttering?

Yeah, no, You're not a white PVC Marley product You are gutted As in like Your guts has just been Like ripped out Yeah Devastated or disappointment

Is how they say Gutted is defined Tiki tour Is eight Going for a tiki tour I had to explain to The South African Side of the fam

What tiki tour meant Going for a little tiki tour What are the origins Of the The phrase tiki tour Let me have a quick google While you tell us Tiki tour meant. Going for a little tiki tour. What are the origins of the phrase tiki tour? Let me have a quick Google while you tell us. Tiki tour is supposed to be like going the long way

for a look-see, right? The scenic route. Yeah, taking the scenic route. It's hard when you have to like suddenly explain it because you just know and then like you have to put it into words.

Yeah, it is. It's hard, isn't it? Origins of tiki tour frail. I'm not getting any love on a quick Google search for that. Yeah, okay. Where that came from. Huh. Okay.

It just is what it is. It is what it is. The Dairy, which is just like a local store. Yeah, because no one else calls it a dairy, do they? Like a 7-Eleven or... A convenience store overseas. A shop. Milk bar.

Corner shop. Milk bar. What do they call the milk bar? Yeah, Australians. Some Australians call the milk bars, eh? What do Australians call dairies? 7-Eleven? Just a 7-Eleven.

No. Or the shop. What do Australians call? Milk bar? No, it's a 7-Eleven, isn't it? Yeah, but not all of them are 7-Elevens, right? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not too sure.

Yeah, right is number six. Yeah. We're all familiar withvens, right? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not too sure. Yeah, right is number six. Yeah. We're all familiar with yeah, right. Yeah, nah is number five. That's a confusing one. Yeah, nah is a non-committal statement. Yeah.

Doesn't it kind of be like I'm agreeing to the no statement you're making? Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. That's what I like about it. It's so versatile. versatile man people that come to new zealand must be like what is going on and there's a difference between nah yeah nah and

yeah nah yeah yeah right difference number four chili bin which is just what we call an icebox ski australians call them skis togs um swimming gear knackered which i don't know Meskies. Togs. Something good. Naked. Oh, naked. That's a great one. I didn't know that was us. I thought that was universal. I'm bloody naked. And sweat-ass is number one. Yeah, that gets you in a bit of trouble in America.

Sounds like you're saying sweat-ass. Oh, that's sweat-ass. They're like, I beg your pardon? That's a sweat-what? That's a sweat-out. What did you just say to me? That's a sweat-what? And then they cancel you.

You're cancelled before you even begun. Yeah. Because they misheard one word that you said You're cancelled before you even begun. Yeah. Because they misheard one word that you said. Yeah, you've got to watch it. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So I said we needed to talk about Morrinsville.

That's because something very exciting could be happening for Morrinsville this week. This is Vaughan's hometown. Yeah, go on. I'll hear you out. A small rural Waikato town. A lot of people wouldn't have even heard of it before. So it could be the first time for Morrinsville. Time Town, a small rural Waikato town. A lot of people wouldn't have even heard of it before. So, it could be the first time for Morrinsville, in fact the first time for New Zealand,

that someone could win the Nobel Peace Prize. So, Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister It's not me. No, it's not you. Not you. Has been listed in Time Magazine's favourites to win the 2019 Nobel Peace Prize. Now, she's up against Greta Thunberg.

Thunberg. Is that correct? Yes. I mean, she's got to be the favourite, surely. Apparently, yeah, she's a clear favourite. Yep. Ethiopian Prime Minister is up there as well. Jacinda Ardern.

So she gets a write-up from Time magazine. I want, I think either way, if Greta or Jacinda win, it's going to trigger a lot of old white men. It's going to be like Mike Hosking. It's going to be quite funny to hear them have to deal with that. So either way, I think I'll be quite happy. But would that be the first time a New Zealander has ever, it would be, won the Nobel Peace Prize? Yeah.

Wow. She has actually said that it's pretty, well, she thinks it's pretty unlikely and that she's just kind of doing her job. So if she, if Greta beats her, she will have been beaten by a 16-year-old, which, again, we're both from Morrinsville, mirrors my lifetime,

because if I ever played online gaming, like Fortnite, I was always beaten by 16-year-olds. Yeah, so your lives are quite parallel, aren't they? Yeah, quite parallel. Obviously, differing levels of importance. Does only one person win it? Yeah. It's not like multiple. Not one of those,

we've gone for a first date call this year, I hate that. Just pick a winner. No, I just wasn't sure if they did like a few Nobel Peace Prizes in a year. Oh no, they do several, there's different categories, isn't there? Like sciences and that kind of thing, I believe. Because she is among 301 nominations. Right, okay, but she's up there according... To Time Magazine.

Yeah, right. The list that they've put up is only about five people. Okay. Five or six people, but Greta seems to be the favourite to win. But even, you know what, I'm happy for Greta or Jacinda because either one will just trigger, be very triggering.

Mike Hosking and old white people. Yeah. Who say that this generation's super easy to offend, yet they're offended at someone winning a prize. So, yeah. It has to be weighed up, isn't it? Do you think Jacinda would want to win that? What do you mean?

There's prize money. She just said, like, I'm just doing my job. I know, but you'd still be like, yes. Did you know the Nobel Peace Prize has prize money? I did not know that.

Nobel Peace Prize. Do you know you're obligated to give that money away for, like, world peace? Yeah, you go out and buy, like, the latest Tesla. She's got a mortgage in Auckland.

I'm pretty sure she's got somebody she could put it towards. You'd imagine she pays off her mortgage and everyone's like, could have given that to poor people. Yeah, but I also have a house to pay off. It's 1.1 million US.

Wow. Okay, wow. Yeah. And a medal. And a diploma. She totally would fist pump. You'd be real cool about it and then you'd fist pump back. Yeah, but you can't give that to Greta.

She'll spend it on lollies. That's what I would have done when I was 16. She won't. She'll plant some trees or something. I know she's wise beyond her years. It's very work. Well, we're going to find out. They say Friday.

So I think that's US. US time. So about Saturday, we're going to find out if Morrinsville will have a Nobel Peace Prize. Well, they're going to have to paint one of those special cows if she wins. They won't. What do they paint it? Just red. They won't.

Labour red. Because they all vote Simon Bridges, don't they? It's a national struggle. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hit music lives here. ZM.