ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 11 2018

Episode Date: October 10, 2018

Indie and August were approached by fans in Hamilton, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and do notes actually work?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Zed Eames. Zed Eames. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Ha ha.

Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Intern Anya. Mmm. You and I believe producer James, last night, went to A Star Is Born, the new Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper movie. Yeah.

Not together. Oh, we actually did sit together. We had a cute double date. Oh, with your respective partners. Okay. Yeah, good. Give us a review. It's much hyped.

It is. Live up to it. It is very good. It is very moving. Very thought provoking. Like afterwards on the drive home, I was like, whoa. You know one of those? Thought-provoking.

Yeah, one of those movies. Do we trust Intern Anya's review? Has she given us movie reviews before? Because, you know, I trust when you give me a movie review, Vaughn. Megan, on the other hand, she watches things too late and recommends things years later. That we've already watched. You can see my face right now.

You're such a dick. No, but you do like some crappy movies. Like what? I'm not the one who liked all the Pitch Perfects. That's Caitlin. No, see, I trust Megan's opinion over Caitlin's. Yeah, definitely before Caitlin's. She liked Pitch Perfect 2 and 3.

What about you, James? Did it move you, this movie? Hello? I'm right here. I can hear you. Sorry, go on, James. No, it was... No one should ever hype a movie.

That's what I reckon. Because you never... Yeah, you never know what you're going into. You hype it too much. But no, it was good. It was very good. An emotional rollercoaster. How's Lady Gaga's acting?

Because we know Brady Cooper's a good actor. Really good. The singing, the acting was like, she was like the star. Okay, because he directed it too, didn't he?

Yes, he did. Well played there, James. The star is born. She was in fact the star. She was the star that was born. That was very good. You should go see it. Okay.

What more do you want? What more of a good review than that? That's a ringing endorsement. It's a ringing endorsement. It really is. Ringing. All right, you lot. Listen up.

It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines for three interesting, unusual, funny, hilarious at times news stories. Headline one. Pick one of the following three. Vaughn and Megan. Police visit to sad face Facebook post.

Headline two, trick or treat warning. And headline three, family called cops after close encounter. Oh! Close encounter of the third kind? Is it aliens? Well, no, I'm not going to say because I ruin it. Can you just stall him?

Because I want number three. I don't know what you want, but I'm not going to say because I ruin it. Can you just stall him? No. Because I want number three. I don't know what you want, but I'm just also like Googling trick or treat. Trick or treat warning. I don't know if those are enough keywords. It's the 11th. I don't know if you've been to a supermarket or a department store lately,

but it's Halloween in your face. I know. And it's only because it's the 11th of October today and Halloween's the 31st. Yeah. That's a Wednesday. So it's three weeks because it's the 11th of October today and Halloween's the 31st. Yeah. That's a Wednesday. So it's three weeks away yesterday. Yeah.

So yeah, it'll be coming. The first one's the most puzzling. Police what? Visit. Yeah. To sad face Facebook post. Sad face Facebook post. So someone just did a sad face today and then the police were called and they had to go around and check on them.

Not quite, no. Not quite. Is it the drug-laced candy? No. Oh, okay. Police are warning about drug-laced candy, by the way. Oh, for the trick-or-treats? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's a good warning. Who would do that? Yeah, I know. That is terrible. Yeah, I mean, kids are crazy enough on candy, let alone drugs. Yeah. Heavens. All right, well, which story do you want?

Three, I think. Yes. The Close Encounter. If that suits you. It does. I've actually just, can you just stall for a second? Okay, so now I'm stalling for you to stall for Megan. Previously, I was stalling for Megan to stall for you.

What was the other headline? Did we find out what that was? The sad face. We didn't. No. Okay, I was stalling for Megan to stall for you. What was the other headline? Did we find out what that was? The sad face. We didn't. No. Okay, I'm back. I'm back. He's back.

I forgot that headline in my story. I had all the other headlines, but not this one. Okay. We go now to a family who were out on their boat. Now, this happened in Washington's Peugeot Sound. P-U-G-E-T? Is that Peot Sound. P-U-G-E-T? Is that Peugeot? P-U-G-E-T.

Is that like the car? No. Puget? Puget. It's got an O in Peugeot. It does, doesn't it? So maybe this is... It's got another E at the start.

Maybe this is Puget. Puget. Puget Sound. Puget Sound. Yeah. Well, anyway, the family were out in the Puget Sound, Washington Sound, and I'm assuming that this sound, because it's a sound that attaches to the ocean.

Correct. It wouldn't be a lake because all of a sudden, three whales. Oh, no, it's fair to assume it's a lake if there's whales in there. We could rule out lake at this stage. They're not known for their lake life. Three whales surfaced and started I guess circling the boat.

What kind of whales were they? I think they were humpback. They were huge whales. Okay. They're migrating though. That's what they do. I can show you the video. See there's a picture of one there. Oh yeah, that's not an orca. That's a harmless migrating whale. Yeah, huge whale. Well, anyway,

their joy turned to terror as I guess they started freaking out. Would you freak out? You're in a boat. It's a average sized boat. Just a typical family boat. Were they circling like really close? They were right next to the boat and under it.

I would freak out a little bit. I'd be pretty keen not to hang around. Like, I'd definitely get a photo and some video and stuff because that's beautiful. Well, they were rolling the whole time, but mum freaked out the most and she called 911. Oh. Yeah.

I'm out in Puget Sound and there's three square wells right underneath our boat. Dad, drive away. And I'm afraid that we might get swept over. Drive away. I'm really scared. Drive away. Where are we, Gary? Right now, drive away, Dad. Yeah, drive away. get swept over. Drive away. Drive away. Where are we, Gary?

Right now, drive away, Dad. Yeah, drive away. Hurry, quick. Drive away. Faster, please. Drive away faster. Drive away faster. Brave wills

right underneath our boat. The video's like three minutes. The mom actually freaks out a bit more later. And then they turn the motor. Dad, drive away faster, please. Dad, drive away faster. When Dad turns on the motor,

they're just like, no, no! Turn it off. Because I guess away faster. When Dad turns on the motor, they're just like, no, no! Turn it off. Because I guess they don't want to scare them. But yeah, if you Google the video, it's like three minutes, and it's pretty funny. Anya's mum is in Tonga. Now, I don't know if it was specifically to see the whales,

but she caught a glimpse of some whales, didn't she? Yeah, well, she messaged me on Tuesday after being there for two days and said, we've been swimming with the whales four times. I said that sounds like an exorbitant number of whale swimming times. Can you allow to just go swimming with them? What do you mean? They're staying on some tiny island with just a

little shed and it's just them and the whales. It sounds magical. Is that Samoa Airbnb? Like a little garage shed or something. I don't know. No, it's off the coast of Tonga. It's Tonga, not Samoa.

Did she say what whales they were? They're migrating humpbacks. The Wi-Fi was quite intermittent, so it was quite a brief message. But I'll let you know. It was because I heard Tonga's wonderful in April. It's your migrating whale season. See, I know they're gentle and they're not going to hurt you, but they're so big.

I don't know if I'd go get in the water though. Do you remember at primary school, the kid that had the growth spurt before everybody else, was stronger and stuff? They were gentle, but they could hurt you. They didn't mean to. Sometimes they just were too rough. Like a whale's like that times a thousand.

You'd try to stop them at Bull Rush and they would literally bulldoze you. Yeah. Get out of their way. Yeah. Okay, I can see why mum would have freaked out a bit. My mum would have as well. Ian, get out of here.

Ian, let me move it. F.M. Now, you say you remember faces or names. I'm better at faces. Better at faces. Terrible with names. Here's the thing about people who say they're better with names how do you know

where to attribute that name to yeah because you know I'm not great with faces but I'm good with names it's like yeah but you just can't

randomly be saying names and hope that it fits somebody you must have to be good at faces and names exactly to attribute the name to the face because you might be like

I recognise that face but you don't know the name that goes with that face I saw someone the might be like I recognise that face but you don't know the name that goes with that face. I saw someone the other day and I recognised their face and it's still right now

bugging me as to where I know them from. I'm just like God damn it but I've had to let it go. Someone said they could have warned to me the other day

and I looked at them and I was like there you go. Seen you before. Get on mate. Do you have that thing with Sade that you'll give them that look? Yeah, yeah.

And then they introduce themselves and get their name? The best time that's ever happened is they're like, yeah, we've met, to Sade as well. And Sade was like, because it made her look bad. Yeah, yeah. And then, but I snuck in and I was like, ha-ha. Do you know the best thing to do, because I always do, then I'm like, nice to meet you, and they're like,

nice to see you again. Yeah, I always say nice to see you. Yeah, that's the best thing to do, because I always do, then I'm like, nice to meet you, and they're like, nice to see you again. Yeah, I always say nice to see you. Yeah, that's the best thing, guys. I don't say nice to see you again, and I don't say nice to meet you. I say, good to see you, nice to see you. Because then they're like... It could be the first time I've actually ever seen you. Or I've seen you again.

Or it could be again without saying again. Yeah. Rest assured, if any of you see any three ever, any one of us three, and we say, it's nice to see you, we don't know who you are. And you'll need to introduce yourselves again. Because we're all terrible with names. Yes. Yeah.

So scientists have figured out that the average amount of faces that we can remember is about 5,000. Really? You can kind of categorise 5,000 faces. The number ranged in their massive study between 1,000 and 10,000 faces. Who's got time to sit down with scientists and be like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, 10,000 faces? But that also counts, they're counting like people you don't necessarily know.

Like I could be like, that's Taylor Swift, that's Brad Pitt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yep, yep, celebrities' faces. Lots of different faces. Right. People you've seen before. Okay. Do you know this person? And you might not, but you do. You went to school with them or yeah. Right. Celebrities' faces. Lots of different faces. Right. People you've seen before. Okay.

Do you know this person? And you might not, but you do. You went to school with them or whatever. Yeah, okay. You would have it. So this actually makes great sense. They've worked out that you are more likely to remember more faces if you know more about faces.

It's just your brain learning things. Right. Like if you look at a nose and be like that's a different nose if you can identify different types of noses, you're more likely to remember more faces because you've put a difference between

faces, whereas if you just see a nose and a nose is a nose and it's the same with eyebrows and all the features of the face if you know more about what sets up a face, then you'll realise and recognise more faces. But if you just look at certain features and you're like, oh, that's just a mouth.

What were their lips like? You're like, I don't know. So what happens when we get to 500? Do we delete old? 5000. 5000. Do we delete old faces? You just get full. You just get memory full. They start all looking like each other. Like your USB, you've got to delete the trash. Yeah.

And then you've got room for more faces. Yeah. But we're getting better as well. Okay. As humanity, we interact with more people. Yeah. Like you think about, I'm talking a few hundred years ago, the people, you probably only interacted with the people in your village.

Yeah. And if you saw other people, they were there to kill you. Yeah. And one of you wasn't going to have a face at the end in your village. Yeah. And if you saw other people, they were there to kill you. Yeah. And one of you wasn't going to have a face at the end of it all. But when you only had a small village, you knew everybody, but that was it.

Yeah. But now with social media and we could literally see a person's face every day and never actually see it in person because they live on the other side of the world, we're starting to develop the ability to remember more faces. You went to a small school, eh?

So you would have always remembered, like, if you saw someone, even if you didn't know them from your school, you'd be like, they go to my school? Yeah. Are you the same, Megan? I was the biggest school. Because what about in Tūnānia, you went to, like, huge Arangatoto school?

Because how many people go there? Three and a half thousand when I was there. Did you ever see people you'd be like, I don't recognise that person? All the time. And the great thing was is that you could be like, I don't recognise that person? All the time. And the great thing was is that you could like fall over and look around and not know anyone still. It would just be super bad luck if you had a class with one person in your sight. What did falling over have to do with that?

Well, I'm just saying. You don't want anyone you know to see you. There were so many people that you could do dumb stuff like that. Oh, every day? Yeah, and it would be grand. Well, what if someone falling over every day? No, but every day you'd see someone you didn't know at your that. Oh, every day? Yeah, and it would be grand. Well, I wouldn't stop calling over every day. No, but every day you'd see someone you didn't know at your school. That's weird.

My school was not as big as Anya's but you'd see people that you'd never seen before, like on a daily basis. Even at the end of the year? Yeah. Oh. I knew everybody's name, pretty much, at school. Yeah, right. But then the other day I was looking through my yearbook, I got really angry with myself because I saw a class photo

and I couldn't remember someone that was in my class for one year. That's memory loss because you're getting old. I know. I was so angry at myself. There's a really surprising stat that's come out of the UK. I would be interested to know if it was the same here. Okay. So young people between the age of 16 to 24,

one in three of them are now never drinking alcohol. Some of them just didn't even start, just never interested in them and they never even started drinking alcohol. So one in three of them never drank and those who do drink a whole lot less. Than like previous generations? Than previous generations.

In the UK, wow. So it went, so the figures found the proportion of the 16 to 24 year olds who don't drink alcohol increased from 18% in 2005 to 29%. That's one in three. Yeah, almost 30% in 2015. Now they are saying it's purely becoming more acceptable. There's more and more people who just don't drink a lot or if any at all.

So people, you know, like a few years ago, if someone was like, I'm not drinking, you'd be like, why? I'm pregnant. What's up? What's happening? No, I'm a 17-year-old boy. I literally can't be pregnant. That's okay.

You can tell us if you're pregnant, Sammy. In New Zealand, people probably still do that, but it's more common that people don't drink. You're like, oh, okay. Well, yes, especially in New Zealand, there's that culture, isn't there? Yeah. And if you're not drinking, it's like,

whoa, what's wrong with you? Do you think this generation is more health conscious? Maybe. And aren't they also more nannery? Like previous studies have also found that. Millennials are staying home and chilling. Yeah, stay at home and communicate that way and not see people, not see each other.

Yeah. And especially like it's so expensive. But I drink when I'm at home. Yeah. Well, I fit that criteria apart from that's where the free booze is. Well, it's free, but I purchased it, but like you buy it and then. But it's not a $12 drink in town. No.

Yeah. It's a lot cheaper. I'd rather do like a house party because then it's BYO. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it could be like expense. I'm not hot so I get ignored at the bar. Yeah, yes.

I look like an old guy that doesn't want to spend much money. So you just pass me by. Yeah, yeah. Because I've been known to say, what's your cheapest on tap? But if you work behind a bar, would you serve the hot people first? Yeah. Yeah, of course you would. No, or, I don't know, I'd try to work out, like,

I'd probably try to man-keep and cane. No, I'd like to think I'd be fair and I'd be looking the whole time to see and do it in order. Oh, but then you might get too busy for that. I'd serve the uggos because then I'd be like, oh, I feel really bad for you. You go first. And they'd be like, I only just got here. Why'd you serve because then I'd be like, oh, I feel really bad for you. You go first. And they'd be like, I only just got here.

Why'd you serve me? You'd be like, what? It's because you're ugly. I didn't want you to wait. You need more time out there. Hunting. With people hunting. Also, I feel like these 16 to 24-year-olds,

once they get properly into the workforce and need to numb, you know, the... Yeah, it tells me they don't even have to worry about it. Yeah, everyday existence of life. They'll be on the Chardonnays after dinner. Give them time. Give no time. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith.

Hello there. Today's Top Six. The Top Six signs your local cop's a bit blazed. This was discussed at the New Zealand Police Conference where they said if it becomes legal, marijuana, personal consumption, will police be able to use it? Pretty good question.

So just around places that it is legal now, in Denver, Denver have a zero policy. Okay. You know, they're quite famously legalised marijuana and it's like their public coffers are pretty chock-off. They've actually made so much money in tax they don't know what to do with it all. They're like, oh, shit.

Really? Yeah. Stop charging so much tax? Well, that's what they've been able to do. Like local taxes, like state taxes have gone down because they're flush with cash because of all the stoners. And it's great because all the public parks and stuff aren't full of people because they're all at home on the couch.

Yeah. Wasted. It's great. So they don't need to spend as much money on picking up rubbish just because people aren't going there as much. Although I'd like to see the healthcare stats when everyone goes to hospital obese because they've been eating Cheetos. That's true. They have enough money ready to go.

That's true. Sort them out. So in other places, in Seattle, the new recruits had to be cannabis free from three years to one year in order to more closely resemble the people we protect. So they weren't allowed to at the start when they were new to the place, but then they could casually use. Okay. But here's the other sad thing that, like, I hadn't even thought about.

Marijuana becomes legal. All these police dogs have been trained to sniff every drug. They can't stop all of a sudden being like to the police dogs, hey, don't smell marijuana anymore. Yeah, right. Don't bark when you smell that. Yeah, right. And then people could use marijuana to mask actual drugs

that are still illegal. Well, you asked to find out, if you asked me to find out, that was my homework to find out how long it stays in your system. Because you said six weeks was a lie they told you at school. Yeah, so it's usually detectable in body fluids one to 30 days. And as with other drugs, can be detectable in here for several months. Depending on how much you smoke or ingest, it could be longer. The longest reported detection times are more than 90 days.

Wow. So if you're a heavy... Three months. Oh, yeah, that's if you're a repetitive user. And you're here. Yeah. So if you were bald and had no beard, like you, would they have to go for a pube?

They'd have to go for a pube. How amazing. Just say one, two, 30 days. Just glad wrap your pubic hair here before you smoke it so none gets in there and then you've found a big old loophole. So the top six signs and I, you know what? I feel like,

you know how rich people always know stuff ahead of like everyday people like you and me? Yeah. A Kiwi rich lister, Guy Haddleton, has invested $15 million

in a Kiwi cannabis startup. So he knows, eh? Oh, there's heaps of people that are starting your little companies. To invest money before it's legal bagel. But I'm on the feeling that it must be just around the corner.

It's got to be, surely. Probably a good time to head down to your local Switchdog. Oh, no, that wasn't for that. That was for tomatoes. So today's top six. The top six signs your local cops are a bit blazed. Number six, they can't stop giggling when you give them your ID and your last name's got Bottom in it somewhere.

Winter Bottom. Side Bottom or Winter Bottom or Bottom Smith. And they're like... Can I get a... Can I get a... That would just be me as a cop anyway. Can I get a whoop whoop? Can I get a er er? That would just be me as a cop anyway. This, by the way, isn't even on the top six of That's Good Stuff.

They're hanging out the window, they're like, Can I get a er er? Can I get a whoop whoop? If you're a New Zealand police officer, because you guys are always like doing crack up viral videos, can you please do that for us? Just do, send it to our Instagram. Yeah. FBMZM.

Oh, please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Can I get a woo? That'd be pretty good. Will we accept an ambulance?

Oh, 100. Actually, that's a good point. We'll accept anything with a siren. And then fire... We're not sirenists. Fire engines. Yep. Yas.

Yeah. I don't know if those little ambulances that are bright yellow Hyundai Santa Fe's have a siren. I've only ever seen them with their lights going. They have a real fast siren, don't they? And we don't want those European sirens. Oh, no. If you're an Italian cop hearing your little Peugeot,

we're not interested. Number five on the list of the top six signs your local cop's a bit blazed. God, we sound blazed. They should be searching for a crim on the run, but they're rolling around

in the grass with the police dog telling them they're the best as the boys. Yeah. Oh, my God, you're just such a good boy. You're such a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy.

Number four on the list of the top six songs your local cops have been playing is they come around to talk about a break-in you've experienced but ask if you're putting the jug on

and if you've got any chalky biscuits and then proceed to smash the whole pack of Tim Tams. That'll happen. Just don't let them know you've got burger rings in the cupboard. Number three on the list of the top six signs your local cop's a bit blazed. You call them to report a crime and they start freaking out about it.

Yeah. That'll happen. Yeah. Just a little bit of a freaking out. They're like, what do they look like? Oh, my God. Are they out there? Are they coming to my house?

I can feel my heart beating and my ears are bleeding. I need a paper bag. Number two on the list of the top six signs your local cops are a bit blazed. They come around to check up on your nana, but show a lot of interest in the tomatoes growing in her glass house. What are you growing back there, Beryl? Those are healthy, healthy looking plants. Tomatoes.

Oh, right. Look at that. That's yesterday's crop. If you want to make some money, I can sort you out with some seedlings. Number one on the list of the top six signs your local cop's a bit blazed. You think they're on a stakeout at the local park?

Yeah. But they've been there for ages and then you notice smoke coming out the windows and the lights are flashing in time You think they were on a stakeout at the local park? Yeah. But they've been there for ages, and then you notice smoke coming out the windows and the lights are flashing in time to a Fat Freddy's Drop song. Are they? Flashing the lights to a Fat Freddy's Drop song. I see what's happening here. I see what's happening here.

That is today's top six. New Zealand is eighth best in the world at something. Actually, we're eighth equal. I hateE.M. Z.M. New Zealand is 8th best in the world at something. Actually, we're 8th equal. But. I hate it when they do this. Just pick one. Yeah. Don't give two people a winning prize or a place.

No, then we wouldn't be 8th. We probably wouldn't even be in the top 20 because there's quite a few draws above us. Yeah, there is. Oh, is there? Okay. So, and it's something good this time. It's not like we're the third most obese country in the world. We are, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah. We's not like we're the third most obese country in the world, or that we are, aren't we?

Yeah. We're just like chippies. New Zealand's? There's 24 countries above us. Really? Okay. New Zealand's passport has been ranked the eighth most powerful in the world. So what does powerful mean?

It means it can go to different countries without requiring special permission and a visa. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because my husband was on a South African passport. Man, they have to get visas everywhere. Oh, yeah. I mean, make black people use different toilets for like 50 years and treat them like second-rate citizens. And then everyone...

Everyone gets angry at you. Yeah, but in saying that, the USA is still up there. So, I mean, interesting. Yeah. Well, the USA is... A lot of power plays come into it, don't they? Yeah. So, do we want to go through the list? Well, yeah. Who's above us? So, above us. So, we're eighth equal with the Czech Republic.

Okay. I can pretty much say why almost every country above us shouldn't be above us. Shouldn't be. Shouldn't be. Okay. You're good at bringing everyone down. Very Kiwi of you. Oh, no, Czech Republic's on par with us. But also they were like Czechoslovakia and now they're like,

oh, we're two countries. It's like, well, no. Down the list. Down the list. Why did you split up? There must be a reason. Down the list. Seventh is Australia.

They beat us. Australia, Greece and Malta. Well, Australia shouldn't be so high because they've got so many poisonous creatures they could take with them anywhere in the world. Greece shouldn't be higher than us because they're terrible with their money. Right.

Jump up to like, who's number one? Oh, are we going to go straight to number one? Go to Japan and we'll work it down a bit. So Japan is number one. Yep. They are the most powerful. Down. I think, did they switch with Singapore?

I think Singapore was always top dog. And they overtook Singapore. So Singapore's number two. Second most powerful passport in the world. Corrupt, though. Is it? Singapore. Yeah.

Oh, there's a lot of corruption in businesses. It's where Batman goes in that Batman movie to steal that guy back. I don't know if you can base your... Ah! On Batman. Yes, I can. Your world knowledge. Your world knowledge on Batman.

That was a factual Batman. Was it? Factual Batman. Was it? Factual Batman. This news out of Greece. If you've been to Greece, you may have seen the little donkeys. I guess traditionally in the area, the donkeys have been used for transport on the small islands

and done a lot of the work. In South America as well, you go to a lot of places and if you don't want to hike in somewhere, you can get a donkey, chuck your backpack on. Well, in Greece, it seems with the popularity increasing of going to Greece, there's been an increasing amount of photos coming out of Greece of obese people on what looks to be a really struggling

donkey. So new rules say that in Santorini you are not allowed to go on a donkey if you're more than 100 kgs. That's quite a lot. That's not obese because some people can be quite tall

and be 100. No, but the donkeys are like, how heavy would the donkeys be? Well, they say a fifth of their weight. So if you get a really big donkey, you can't have a 500 kg donkey, it's a pretty big donkey. Yeah. So they could get a big one. Yeah. But donkeys should not be carrying more than a fifth of their weight.

Yeah, and you see it in Santorini because Santorini is really steep. There's like steps everywhere and it's so hot. And you see these donkeys like struggling to get up the stairs. That's not fair. Photos were given to the Ministry of Rural Development and Food. This is their farming sort of part of their government. And they said there was multiple photos of donkeys working in the heat without shelter, rest or water seven days a week. There's donkeys that have injuries from ill-fitting saddles

and spinal injuries from the amount of weight that they're carrying and all those other conditions. So there's a whole bunch of new rules, and one of them is if you're, yeah, you're not allowed to ride a donkey if you weigh too much. But as you say, like if you're short, really short, 100 kilograms is obese. But if you're really tall, like 100 kgs might just be your frame. Yeah, yeah. If you're a really tall person.

Yeah, but the donkey doesn't care. Exactly. Or you look at some of the All Blacks who are just units, and they don't look like they'd be that heavy, but it's all just muscle. Oh, they're over 100 kgs, even the, you know, even not the front rowers. There's All Blacks over 100 kgs. So it doesn't have to be, it could have just been a size situation,

but I'd love to be, I'd love to talk this morning about if you've ever been told you're too big for something. I remember being told I was- Like at a bouncy fun castle? Yeah. Oh, I've never been told I've been too big for a bouncy fun castle. I got told I was too big

for a McDonald's playground when I was like 14. Oh, 14? You probably were. I thought you were about to say four. You probably are too big. Yeah, well, no.

It says no one over 12. They're like, how old are you? I said 12. Yeah. As a lie. And they said, oh, no, you're still too,

I think you're just too big to be in there. Apparently it really shook when I came down the swirly slide. Yeah, right. And, you know, theme parks growing up, that would be a big one. Being too big. Being too big, like the height and stuff. It was always the struggle to get tall enough to be on those rides.

Okay, well, let's take your calls. 0800 DARS at him. You can text in 9696. When were you told you were too big for something? Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. You can text in 9696. When were you told you were too big for something? We're talking about if you've ever been told you're too big for something. And not necessarily too fat. We're just talking about when your size has been too large.

Too tall. They've banned people over 100 kgs riding the donkeys around Greek islands because it's no good for the donkeys to carry loads more than 100 kilograms. You know what they need to do? What? Because I'm imagining zebras can carry more. No.

Oh, can they not? Zebras are small. You need a Clydesdale. No, I'm thinking of in Mexico, they paint the donkeys to look like zebras. So you could paint

the zebras. But they're still donkeys. I was like, that's not going to work. Yeah. Because zebras are smaller than donkeys, aren't they? Are they? You need a Clydesdale but then they don't function well in the heat. They're more donkeys. I was like, that's not going to work. Yeah. Because zebras are smaller than donkeys, aren't they? Are they?

Yeah. They need a Clydesdale, but then they don't function well in the heat. They're more of a colder climate horse. And I couldn't imagine them going upstairs. Nah. Yeah. They'd just be like, no. Big horse, no.

So we want to know when you are too big for something. Yeah. Some text messages in. Somebody said that they were at a bike store shopping for a bike. And they messages in, somebody said that they were, they were at a bike store shopping for a bike and they're like, I really like this one.

I'm imagining this is when they were a bit younger and the first words out of the person's mouth as they strode over, the person that worked in the store was, no, no, no,

you're far too big for that bike. I was shocked at first, but they explained how a bike should fit and that made perfect sense. Yeah, they do. You don't want to buy one that's otherwise should be hunched over. Exactly. Don't just buy the make perfect sense. Yeah, they do. You don't want to buy one

that's otherwise should be hunched over. Exactly. Don't just buy the prettiest bike. Yeah, see that's how I buy a bike. I'll be like, I like that print. Yeah. Pink and purple. Give me the cute one.

They're like, Megan, that's a four-year-old's bike. You're like, give me a goddamn bike and leave the trainer wheels on. I'm just learning. Someone else messaged in saying they were too big to play for the under tens. They were nine at the time, so they weren't under ten.

They were just a big kid. They said, are you too big to play for the under tens. They were nine at the time, so they weren't under ten. They were just a big kid. They said, oh, you're too big to play for the under tens. But I remember being at like primary school and some kids like just had the growth spurt. And you'd be like, God, they're a giant. Like, that's not tackling them. I was told I was too big to be a hobbit when they were filming the movie here and I went to

audition. They wanted short people. I'm pretty short. What a load of BS. Just shrink me in post-production. I'm worth the effort. My co-worker got told she was too big to go on a cruise because she wouldn't fit in the life raft. Life raft.

Have you seen the people that go on cruises? That's not a thing. Surely not. You need to get a big life raft. That's not a thing. You need to get a bigger life raft. That's not a thing. I don't know. That's just what they said. How rude.

We stayed in Taupo and wanted to go on a hydra slide. They weigh you before you get on. Harsh realisation of my partner had put on a lot of weight lately. They'd been denying and afterwards he was like, you were right about the Christmas weight. They weigh you before a hydra slide? They must have got suspicions. Somebody else said, when we went to the Gold Coast and went to Warner Brothers,

a kid was too big for the Scooby-Doo ride. I was told to get off. Because he was too tall. Oh, too tall. Yeah, because you don't want to donk your head on Scooby-Doo. Yeah, they don't want you donking your head on, the Goldies had a couple of shocking situations with the ride, so they want to, you know, steer clear if they can.

Producer Caitlin, this has happened to you. Yeah, sorry, Jason, just on the phone at the same time. Yeah, this was in Cambodia after I'd been told I was pregnant. When we were going on these little boats. But they don't have a lot of food, Caitlin. I know. So they think anyone visiting might be pregnant. I know.

And so we were going on these little boats and the people, like, letting us on these little boats were like, oh, big girl. And I don't know if that was something like tall or fat. Yeah, but that's the thing. Like, we are quite often taller than, like, your average woman over there. Yeah. And I'm, like, tall for, like, over here as well. You're tall for just, like, standing beside me. But I was like, yeah, yeah.

So they weren't going to let you on? Well, no, they were, like, sort of, like, discussing and stuff. And then I got on. But I had to sit in a certain place in the boat. That was, like, when I went skydiving, they gave, I was, like, on the border of being too heavy. They gave me the smallest person and I had to sit over the wing. They were like, oh this guy, that was really like in front of everyone

they're like, alright, line up. And they're like, this guy goes up front, he's wing load. What? Wing load? Wing load in front of everyone? Yeah, no, that's in front of the whole crowd. Then my mate Mike who was there has just called me wing load ever since. It's kind of, it sounds cute. No, it doesn't.

But then you centre everything. Is that a good way of looking at it? You balance everyone out. I'm essential to stop it crashing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Hello, children.

74 days, 16 hours and 34 minutes until Christmas. Hmm. Megan's the only one excited about this. Yeah, because I've started my Christmas shopping. I did some more yesterday. Everyone should like start now. How were you in the office yesterday? You were gas bagging to someone about the sales in America soon.

After Halloween, they do the Black Friday and Cyber Monday. And that's a thing here too, eh? Yeah. So lots of sales. That's a good time to do Christmas shopping. It's coming. Well, if you need something to listen to while doing online Christmas shopping, somebody sent in a screen cap of their browse section of Spotify,

which I assume they just had open. They weren't listening to it because they love the radio. Oh, yeah. Of course. So much. That's so stupid. Why would you need that?

Yeah. And under the section, these are the genres. Okay. Pop, mood, party, chill, decades, happy holidays. No. Happy holidays.

There is officially happy holidays browsing section on Spotify. So there's a playlist out there now. The Christmas playlist has breached. It's reached the surface

like a whale and it's been That was pretty good. If I do blow my own horn on my whale breaching sound. Okay. I mean, it didn't sound

wet enough, but okay. Do you want a bit wetter? Don't. I'll see it didn't sound wet enough, but okay. Do you want a bit wetter? Don't. I'll see what I can do. No, that just sounded like a farty wet balloon. Now you're getting into elephant territory. Okay. Well, it's not the first report that I've been seeing,

but Josh Tucker has reported the first special clearance pricing of Christmas mince tarts. Two packs of six for $7. Did they go a bit early on the mince tarts? Maybe, and they're like, yes. We really need to move some product. I still have a pack from last year. They are fine.

However, beside them, Christmas star shortbread. Christmas star shortbread's $4.50. That's quite expensive. That's the best thing, or one of the best things about Christmas is that you get like lots of fancy shortbreads. You're so plain.

Like butter shortbread. Yuck. All the different shapes and sizes. But while we're at the supermarket, next time you're at the supermarket, I've seen this myself. You know when you are looking for a product you like, but the part where the shelf is empty? Yep.

Look up, because that's sometimes up there. However, at the moment, that space might be all taken up with Christmas trees. Yes, that's right. I've got them in there. They're ready to go. There's proof from Kimberley. Yes, that's right. They've got them in there. They're ready to go. There's proof from Kimberly. Oh, God. Of Christmas trees taking up that excess stock.

Yeah, is that in the supermarket? Yes, that's at a countdown. That's at a countdown on the top of the shelves. They're getting ready to go. They are really ready to go. Christmas trees poised and ready for action. The Christmas Heirloom Company have opened their stores everywhere. I've had so many people send in photos being like,

are you aware of this? To which I'm like, yes, I'm aware of it. Tauranga is the latest culprit. Oh, yeah. Kate's been in touch with the show and she says, you know, it's getting close to the holiday season when the sampler biscuits have come out. That's right.

Countdown on Morehouse and Christchurch. If you didn't see, if you didn't go in and have a look when you were here giving away the car, that's officially the first sign of samplers.

That's a big section of biscuits, isn't it, for Christmas? And those are all, those are all Christmas biscuits. Yeah. See, there's so many things

to love. Special biscuits at Christmas. Samplers. Nah. Does anyone in the know about Nestle bringing out the white

because they always do the white scorched almonds? They won't do them. No. Remember last year the reason they didn't do them is because the shutdown time down between

the machines was too long and I said at the time I will happily eat a mix of both. Of white chocolate, dairy milk, scorched almonds. That would never be

a problem to me. I wouldn't think twice. In fact, I'd buy it on purpose. No, you remember you need Waikato chocolates. They do white scorched almonds. Was would never be a problem to me. I wouldn't think twice. In fact, I'd buy it on purpose. No, you remember you need Waikato chocolates. They do white scorched almonds. Was it Waikato Valley? Yeah.

They weren't afraid to clean the machines, were they? No. Not lazy like Nestle. Lazy bastards. They're actually pretty nice. They were great. Sometimes you're a bit like, it's not a scorched almond. Oh, no, they make good chocolate products, those guys.

Okay. Kelsey wants to report, not only are chocolate sanders out at her local supermarket, but they're also selling. Look how many have gone. Holy shit. People are... It's never fine.

They're not saving those for Christmas. No, those are a sneaky eat in the car on the way home situations by the look of things. George has been in touch. She said, it looks like Christmas is touched down at Kmart. This is a bay fair at Mount Longanui. Decorations? What's that? Specialty towels

there, so you can put those in the bathroom. Oh, I could get a specialty towel. For the hand towel, you wash your hands and you've got a little rain around. How early is too early for a specialty hand towel? And a bath mat, and a Christmas bath mat that would team up quite nicely. Well, when do you start vomiting Christmas at your house? It's two weeks until I put my Christmas tree up. You're crazy. I put it up just after Halloween, end of October.

I love not having to worry about a Christmas tree. Well, someone else that doesn't have to worry about their Christmas tree is Carol. Auntie Carol. Lisa's auntie. Lisa reports in. She says, hi, guys. I thought I'd let you know. Auntie Carol has officially put up a Christmas tree.

Auntie Carol's crazy. That's why Aunty Carol doesn't need to worry about it. It's already done. That is some expensive decorations too, by the way. She's gone for a purple and silver theme there. I've decided my theme this year. And super well balanced. You know she's not taking that down until Feb.

So three months of the year, Aunty Carol's got that up. It is. However, Aunty Carol, if I can point something out, it is blocking your burglar detection device up in the corner there. A perpetrator could sneak through your house

using the tree as cover and not set off that motion detector at all. Well, if Auntie Carol's got her Christmas tree up, I guess that means... Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 65%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. We want to talk about The Bachelor Australia. Now, it aired in New Zealand last night, the final. But it was in Australia a week ago.

And it was pretty hard to avoid spoilers. Which is, because in turn, Anya, you've been, you and even the boyfriend, because he loves the Honey Badger, have been heavily invested in the show. Yes. And we feel let down and we want a refund. Oh, really? You're angry about it? So the controversy is at the final, you know, like he has two girls that he's supposed to pick,

one or the other, and everyone gets invested, goes, okay, I'm team Sophie or I'm team Brittany. And for those that don't know, he didn't choose either, did he? No. How did you feel about that, Anya? No resolution. A little ticked off, if you must know. Oh, she's using the T word.

So you were angry. I was frustrated because at the end of the day, they don't have to propose in the finale. It's not like, you know, hey, I'm going to spend the end of the day, they don't have to propose in the finale. It's not like, you know, hey, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. It's about picking someone who they have the potential to date in the outside world. But then, yeah, I don't know.

If he doesn't like any of them, then isn't he doing the best thing? Yes, but in the previous episodes, he was hooking up with them. He was having really great connections, saying how he was really struggling to decide. So it just seems a bit fishy, if you ask me. Yeah, but you can go on dates with people and hook up with them and stuff and then decide you don't have a future with any of them.

I always find it weird on The Bachelor that they always end up with someone. I'm like, you could go in there and not have a connection with any of them. And almost always break up, right? Yeah. I liked that he was honest and he was like, I'm going to leave here with none of you because I don't feel a deep connection with any of you. I liked that. I don't know if this is going to bring back memories or make it fresh for you, Anya. You're going to trigger your PTSD.

But it went down in the finale. I have something I need to tell you what it's almost laughable what you didn't think me i thought you'd think nobody are you kidding me i'm laughing but are you kidding me oh i'm not and i had to tell you because i heard you didn't know and i couldn't have you yeah i didn't want you to think that it was me, but it was neither. He said, um, basically he's not ready to give himself to anybody. What? Are you?

I'm sorry, but are you f***ing kidding me? No honey badger for either of you. That's so classic, dude, though. I'm going to take you out on a date. I'm going to, like, invest in you, dude though. I'm gonna take you out of date. I'm gonna like invest in you and then actually I'm not ready to commit to anyone. You went on The Bachelor. Much like the Honey Badger from that neat little video where it follows around the African

animal called the Honey Badger. Honey Badger don't give a shit. Yeah. So when this happened he obviously knew this was coming last week and this was like this is how I think you couldn't avoid this online last week as a New Zealander keeping up. Huge uproar. And it was everywhere.

He fled the country. He went to Papua New Guinea. He was staying in a remote area of Papua New Guinea. I mean, it's remote anyway. You still eat people, right, in the remote parts, right? Oh, like really remote parts. Not as a whole in Papua New Guinea. It's dangerous.

Your ex-husband did some filming. It's dangerous. It can be very dangerous. Your ex-husband did some filming there. Was it Mr. What was that movie? The one with Hugh Laurie in it. Mr. Pip. They filmed in Papua New Guinea and saw some things. Yeah, with a spear or something. Yeah, watched a guy get macheted for stealing a boat.

Yeah, my friend possibly was going to take up a contract there doing telecommunications. Yeah. Because they'd have to go into the jungle to check on the towels and everything. Oh, yeah. And there was a real, like, he had to sign danger. And then he was like, oh, I probably won't, actually. I don't think I will. So he ended up going to Papua New Guinea. Now, Australian current affairs shows

have a real history of the ambush. But they've been fizzing, because for a week he just was literally, like, the show ended and he's like, peace. But that's been fizzing because for a week he just was literally like, the show ended and he's like, peace. And he's gone. Didn't do any show press afterwards. He left people wanting. Classic honey badger. Well, they managed

to track him down in Papua New Guinea. G'day Nick. Sorry to do this to you, but can we ask you a few questions about the mess you've left back home? Sorry? The mess you've left back home? And? The mess you've left back home. And he's like, sorry, right? I beg your pardon, mate.

You know what we're talking about. No idea. But yeah, they actually did ask him some questions and he has tried to explain himself. I'm going to go to Kokoda in Papua New Guinea. I'm going to get lost in the jungles, 120km hike, and really let it sink in. You know, to all the girls, we all went through a lot of stuff,

and I just want you all to know that if I ever see you again, I'll buy you a drink and say hello for old time's sake. That's what got people the most riled up, though, isn't it? Yeah. Aren't you? That's the needle in the haystack. Say hello. I don't know if needle in the haystack.

No, I think that was the right one. Let me try again. That's not an analogy. Straw that broke the camel's back. That was the icing on the cake. Is that better? Yeah. The toffee on the apple.

Yeah. That's what really pushed it over. It just makes it seem like he wasn't really in it for a partner. He was just in it for a laugh and a bit of fame. Of course he was. Why is anyone going on these shows? To find love, Fletch. Nah. Are you kidding me? To find an extra 100,000 social media followers.

Is that why anyone's unmarried at first sight? No, they all want to find love. Do they? You wait till Honey Badger starts hitting the ground with the pics of the resort in Papua New Guinea. Tourism will go up and he'll be getting a sweet influencer fee. He's doing a hike, but he was in a bathrobe at a resort. A load of BS.

He's getting in the right frame of mind. I like Cosmos. Yeah, I still quite like him. Oh, yeah. Do you still like him, Anya? Is the boyfriend still a fan after this? Yeah, we still like him. Yeah.

It's so hard to know I like him. First, I'll tell you why I'm going to be tired tomorrow. Okay. In an effort to be cool dad and even cooler uncle. Okay. Always put quite a lot, well, I was only an uncle for about nine months before I became a dad.

Yeah. But always with a lot of pressure on myself to be cool uncle because I had a cool uncle Growing up And I want to be like That uncle Not stink uncle

Did you have a stink uncle Growing up? I had a stink uncle And a cool uncle Right I had a stink uncle too Yeah everyone's got a stink uncle And you can't pick

Your favourite parents And you're not allowed To pick your favourite grandparents And you're not allowed To pick your favourite children But you always have A favourite uncle Right

And auntie I have a favourite parent Whoever's giving money. It varies. It's up a debate. It changes around. I've got one on each side. So you've always got favourites. Yeah. So I wanted a big cool uncle. So my brother's daughters,

because the school holiday's in Australia, they're over at the moment with mum and dad for the week and they go home tomorrow and my sister's daughter is on holidays as well and my two are on holidays and I made this like mistake. I was talking to mum.

I was like, what did he fly? She's like, Friday. I was like, why don't we have a slumber party at our house on the Thursday? Why would you do that? And she said to me, don't you have work the next day? And listen, I went, oh yeah, that'll be fine. What is wrong with you?

I know. What were you drinking whiskey at the time? I probably had a couple of drinks. I was overtaken by the urge to be cool. Uncle. Cool uncle. Cool dad. Cool.

But then it wasn't just like Chuck's sleeping bags on the floor. Right. I got in touch with one of those places that comes in and like sets up like tents for the kids. I have not heard about this. Have you not? No. It's all the rage. Why have not heard about this. Have you not? No. It's all the rage. Why can't you just do that yourself?

Like when did slumber parties start getting... Because then I'll be stuck with all the stuff afterwards. It's like mattresses and everything. So they take it away. They come in and they set it up and then they take it away. Oh, girl. Yeah. Okay.

So I've got like this appointment at one o'clock this afternoon for a set up. David, this is one of those things I wish I had like thought of as a business idea. Oh, yeah. It's a great... Well, it's probably not too late I had thought of as a business idea. Oh, yeah, it's great. Well, it's probably not too late. Just copy the rip-off their idea. Yeah, right. That called time to slumber, so you could be called, like, sleepy.

Get to bed. Megan, you make up. Probably, I don't think Megan. Sleep in the lounge, but don't make a bloody sound. Business idea. Okay, so that's you tonight. That's me tonight. Okay.

And tomorrow I've got to sneak out of the house to come to work without waking them all up. Or do I drop a bomb on my wife and my mum who are staying and be like... Get out a chainsaw. Yeah, just on the way to work. I'm just on the way out. I'm like, wake up, everybody, wake up.

And here's cake for breakfast. Have yourself some cake. There's lots in the fridge and there's some fizzy in there too. Full sugar, knock yourself out. And I'll go, crazy, ice cream's in the freezer. On the way out so that's

I'll self explain why I might be a little bit yawny tomorrow but at the moment the girls with their other grandmother

Sade's mum and Hamilton yesterday they went to the zoo and they went to another one of their cousins little plays they went to a whole

lot of things so at the zoo apparently on the way out they're having an ice cream and August has got her shades on. Because she's super cool. Because it's sunny. She's got to have her shades on. She's having an ice cream.

And apparently, I don't know who, but apparently a lady at the zoo was very excited to see them. Right. Indian August. Okay. Who's relaying this to you? Shade's mum. Oh, okay. And she's like, oh my god. Doesn to you? Shade's mum. Oh, okay. And she's like, oh my God. Doesn't rush them, which is good.

She knows they're kids. Yeah. She's like, oh my God. I just, I love you girls. You're great. Which is, and they're like, okay. And then she's like, I'll leave you to it, but have a wonderful day.

Thank you very much. Oh, that's nice. And Shade's mum said, do you girls know that lady? And August apparently without missing a beat is like and look at the ice cream nah that's just

one of our fans. Continues on the ice cream like cool as a cucumber about it. With her sunnies on. It's just one of our in my mind she pulled them down

and she was like just one of the fans. Oh such a Facebook a YouTube star right? A YouTuber. I was like, oh, God. Indy's humble as. August is like, oh, I don't know.

Do you want me to sign something, love? Do you need something signed? Do you want me to have a word with someone, get some VIP service around here? Back on the ice cream, into the car, make some sort of pimp. FVM, the podcast. A British woman, her name is Jane and she has

torn the internet, or the internet is torn after what she shared, because she received a note. So she was on a train, a trip maybe? And she spotted another passenger staring at her.

And then the man dropped a note for her as he was leaving and said, or it said on top of the letter, wait 10 seconds, then open. What? Enough time for the train doors to shut and for you to be at another station. That is like, okay, well, what am I going to find in there? Because he doesn't want to be around when I read this. Yeah. And she opened the letter.

She waited the 10 seconds, opened the letter, and it said... I wouldn't have waited 10. I would have maybe gone two or three. Yeah. I couldn't do that. It said, you should smile even if the world is getting you down. A face as pretty as yours wasn't made to frown. Now she...

Come on, love, smile. Come on, sweetheart, what have you got a bloody grizzle about? She said there's so many ways he could have expressed concern for me rather than handing me a note telling me what I should do with my face and then running off the train before I could even respond. But then some people are like, that was quite nice of him. Yeah, he was giving you a compliment. You should be happy.

I hate being told to smile because why do I need to change my face to please you? Yeah, and regardless of gender. You don't know what someone's going through. Just saying, come on, cheer up there, chap-o. I've got bitchy resting face, but I can be real happy. Yeah, but I don't tell you what to do with your face. Don't tell me either. It's a real power play.

We want to touch on this note thing, because do notes work? Like, if this was a note that was like, hey, I think you're really cute. Here's my number. Call me maybe. Call me maybe. What would you do? Would you find that cute or creepy? If it said that, I would find it cute.

If the guy was really hot and you were single? Oh, it's just, I'm in hot. Hot people get away with whatever they want. Right, okay. It's a fact. Yeah. And if they're not hot, it's creepy? Well, no, don't say not hot.

If I wasn't attracted to them. Because what I find hot might not be hot to someone else. Okay. But yeah. Oh, I don't know if it would be creepy. I'd just be like, oh, I'm not going to do that. It's the content of the note And how they say it

Whether it's kind of like cutesy Or whether it's like hey sweater I got a note And I think they intended it to be quite endearing It said you park like an F wit And I was like The content is a little offensive I'm talking about flirting notes.

That was very flirtatious. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah. And because it said at the bottom, if you want to debate me on this, here's my number. Right. I was like, big old flirt? Very aggressive.

And then you sent them nude pictures. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't been on the dating scene for a long time. I assume that's how you start conversation. Any producers, have you ever had a note, Caitlin? No. Okay. I assume that's how you start conversation. Any producers, have you ever had a note, Caitlin? No, neither. James? Yeah, I did get

a note once. Did you? And is this in your single days? No, it wasn't. Then you were faced with the hard question of, do you tell your partner that someone else is interested, just to let them know? Yeah, it was interesting. I used to work at a shoe store in a mall,

and then there was a kiosk outside our shoe store where they used to sell the drones and the toy helicopters. Oh, yeah, a little electronic situation. And, yeah, a girl came in and gave me a note, and it had her number on it, and it said text me. And I was a little bit taken aback. I was like, I didn't expect it at all. And, yeah, obviously I have a girlfriend, so aback. I was like, I didn't expect it at all. And yeah, obviously I have a girlfriend,

so I just text them and said, I'm sorry, but this is the situation. James, that's really sweet that you text them. And I'm so amazed that James worked in a shoe store. I never knew that. I would have thought you'd just like not reply, just not text them. But you text them to say,

so she wasn't like, oh, he doesn't like me. Well, it would have just made everything awkward because I worked there for another year or so. Right. So I would have seen her every time. And it still made it a little bit awkward that I had to still see her every time I worked. But I just texted her and said,

I'm sorry. And then she told me she was a poet and she sent some sort of poem to me. And I was like, cool. So she didn't give up. She was still trying to chip away. She tried to have another, yeah,, cool. So she didn't give up. She was still trying to chip away. She tried to have another,

yeah, another dig. That's why she wrote a note because she was a poet. That's her forte, the written word. It's the thing, the note was just a straight,

hey, you know, send me a text or something. Not very poetic. Didn't go for the poem straight up. But I like that she was like, he's got a girlfriend.

Right, well, I bet she's not a poet like me. So here we go. I'm going to hit him with some limericks. No, it was just interesting, I think, getting it from a girl because you don't expect that.

But if you, I don't want you to get in trouble, but do you think the way, like being handed a note, was that something that was like, oh, this is nice? Or was it creepy? No, I didn't find it creepy.

Obviously, I just didn't expect anything at the moment. But I think for a guy, if a girl was to make that sort of move first up, I think you'd be pretty intrigued. Yeah, right. Because it doesn't normally happen. Is that what you're saying?

No, exactly. We're too scared. That the guy would. That the guy would go for it in doing that. But yeah, it was just a bit, yeah, it was a bit interesting. Okay, well, I want to take some calls. Have you ever got a note from an admirer and did it work or was it creepy? Yeah.

Either way, like, you know, maybe you've met your partner or you met someone through a note. See, I find it a little bit creepy, but I'm also sad I've never got one. So I can be like, oh, creepy. Oh, I'm disgusted by this creepiness. Thank you. But you love it. Okay, well, 0800DARN.ZM, give us a call or text through 9696. Have you ever received a note from an admirer and did it work or was it just creepy?

Notes. Creepy or cute? Content dependent, I say. It all depends on how it's handled. You can't, you know, broadly say that every note ever given was creepy. But we've certainly had our version of the creepy content ones this morning. Some text messages in on people that have received creepy notes. My ex found a note on his windscreen wiper in the hospital car park

where he worked and it was from a girl at his work. He was like, how did she know what car I drove? So it turns out that she followed him to his car. Now see, the minute there's a following. No, yeah, that's creepy. The minute there's a following. You're following them

without their knowledge. Yeah. But then are you suggesting that if you are to follow them and stalk them that you should stalk them in a better way? No, you should be like,

excuse me, and actually like talk to them. Oh, just talk to them. But that can be hard for people, I guess. But then it's creepy, isn actually like talk to them. Oh, I'd just talk to them. But that can be hard for people, I guess. But then it's creepy, isn't it? Either way. Yeah, it's just creepy if the other person doesn't know what's happening.

But, you know, on the interest of good and bad, moved into a new house when I was a teenager. The next door neighbour got her little brother to drop me off a note with her number in it. I texted her. We ended up going out that same night and this is the story of how I lost my virginity. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, you. Wow. No, not me. No, God no. No, we all know his story.

It was to the Goo Goo Dolls. No, in the caravan. The Goo Goo Dolls, Iris. Yeah. In the caravan. No, but I thought that's how it started. Got up to the first chorus? No. It is. And that was with the TV edits. You know, they edit those songs to the chorus

pretty quickly. They do. Kate, what happened? I had a guy follow me home from a petrol station once,

and when I woke up the next morning, there's a note left on my windscreen. Oh, no. Creepy. Did you find that creepy? Yeah, I did.

What did the note say? Way creepier. Hi, you don't know me, but I'm the guy in the skyline from the Petrol Station. Oh, skyline! Oh! There's no discreet following in the skyline. No, no.

That's super creepy. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Did he leave a number? Yes, he did. Did you message him and be like, go away? Well, actually, because I used to be a postie. Oh, yeah.

So I ended up delivering mail to his house one day. And he came out. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. I left the area not long after that. Put it into easy gear and cycle fast um hey thanks you call kate okay mark did you get left a note yeah i did yep yeah okay um i was actually at a training course and i was driving home one day and there was a note on my windscreen wiper um just text it. Just said text me with a smiley face, text it, and then seven years later we're

married. Oh no! Wait, but at that stage, did you know who'd left the note? No, no, I actually thought it was just a classmate taking the mickey. Right. So all it said was text me, smiley face? Yeah, text me, smiley face, and then obviously a phone number at the bottom. What did your first text say?

I just said, oh hey, who's this? Oh, yeah. And it just sort of snowballed from there. And when you realised who it was, were you like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I still kind of thought they were taking the mickey. So did she just see you somewhere going to your car and was like, hey, oh. I don't know, to be honest.

Yeah, I didn't actually really ask. And now you're married. Okay, so there you go. Don't take every note as creepy. Kirsty, you left a note. Yeah, I worked in a supermarket and I was on the checkout. And at the end of my shift, someone came up to me and they're like, oh, this guy left this to you on the checkout.

And it was a note and it said, you're beautiful. I have to take you to dinner. And it had his phone number. And I was like, well, that's a bit weird. It would have been weirder if he said I had to have you for dinner. That would be a whole level of inappropriate. One word changes everything. It does.

So I text him and we went out to dinner a few times and we didn't really have that kind of connection. But he's still my friend now on Facebook. Oh, that's really sweet. I felt so special because he called me beautiful. You are beautiful. And so do I. Oh, thanks.

No matter what they say, friends can bring you down. Thanks for your call. Text messages in? Tell you what, receipts seem to be a very popular place to leave a little note. Okay. Somebody said, I was working at Hallenstein's. Yeah. And I wrote my number on a note for a guy who I thought was pretty cute.

Is that a breach of Hallenstein's patient rules? Patient Hallenstein's confidentiality, maybe. I mean, you sign the ethics. You sign the oath of ethics when you become a Hellenstein's employee to not breach these sorts of boundaries. That's like working at a salmon farm, though. You're not supposed to go fishing there, but, like, it'd be so easy to catch a fish.

Caitlin. That was a great analogy. I really liked that. And now I want to work at a salmon farm. You need to work at a menswear store. They're just coming in the door. Oh, what a great idea. I get so flustered because what if they ask me, like,

if the pants fit properly and I'm like, look at it. And you're just staring at their bulge. Yeah. You do what my mum did for way too long. She would always be like, she'd take you shopping for clothes when I was like a teenager. She'd be like, do these fit? And she'd, like, stick a couple of fingers down the side.

Oh, don't do that, Joe. And she's like, oh, yeah, no, that's a good bit of room there. And I'm like, get your fingers out of the way. That's also a breach of the Helen Sides patient. Yeah, you should. That would work a treat, though. Can I put my hand down there? Oh, I have.

What a great way of meeting guys, though. Yeah. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. You should, no, you'd probably be better at like mums menswear or something. Hi, dude. Yeah, picking up old dudes who are coming in to get a suit to wear to their wife's funeral.

And need a suit to see off my beautiful barrel. Oh, so you're single, are you? Caleb's sticking a couple of fingers down the back. And he's like, oh, too much from a ticker. I'm coming, barrel, I'm coming. Fact of the day, like, oh, too much from a ticker. I'm coming, Beryl, I'm coming. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. What? You missed one.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Today's fact of the day has to do with big cats. Okay. Lions and tigers. Lions, tigers, cheetahs. My cat. Panthers. Your fat little...

My fat cat. Karen. So today's fact of the day is that big cats are obsessed with Calvin Klein obsession. I saw this yesterday. Did you see it in regards to the tiger they're hunting in India? Yeah. So they are going to use Calvin Klein Obsession as a lure to catch a killer tiger that's killed six people in India.

Oh, but I feel bad for the tiger. Why do they need to catch it? Just leave it. We went where it was, really, didn't we? Yeah, we're going into their domain. Yeah. It's fine. It's doing what it's supposed to do.

I'm living in this subdivision that's been jungled until it's a subdivision. The bloody animals are everywhere. Kill them all. I just, you know, can we just kill them? How did they find out that big cats are addicted to CK obsession? They kind of came across it by accident. Initially found it at the Bronx Zoo in New York in 2003.

The big cats were particularly fond of one keeper. Oh, yeah. And they were like, what's going on here? So they trolled a few different things and it turned out it was Calvin Klein obsession that this keeper would squirt on. Yeah. They'd always come up to the bars and be like...

Like acting a little bit unusually. Okay. And they found out through some tests that the key ingredient is a synthetic version of the musk secreted by a small nocturnal mammal whose glandular liquid is prized for its powerful aroma that big cats... So they want to eat you

if you're wearing Calvin Klein Obsession? No, they're not necessarily eating, but... Smooching. Yeah, it can get them going. Okay. Isn't it the beaver that excretes vanilla? Remember that was a fact of the day. No, it wasn't.

Beaver poo. No, no, no, it's the anal gland. There's a gland in the anal region of a beaver that secretes a vanilla-like essence. So there's another little animal that excretes a flavour too. Well, every scent that we use is kind of based on something, I guess. A synthetic version of something. And it makes sense that this is one of these smells that attracts things

because it attracts us to each other, doesn't it? Yeah. And perfumes. They used to make perfumes out of all sorts of things. They'd just be like, you like that, do you? Crush it up. Make a liquid. Spray it on my face.

Now I'm attractive to the opposite sex. So yeah, they're using it to hunt this tiger that's killed people in India because they believe if they smother the traps and everything in this, it'll get it. It'll be attracted, it'll come looking and they'll be able to catch the tiger. Well, I hope they'll put it in a zoo.

I'm not a fan of zoos and locking animals up but better than killing it, isn't it? If they can't kill it, you'd have to relocate it, wouldn't you? I mean, there's not enough tigers to just be killing them every time they kill us. It's like sharks. We get all crazy when a shark kills someone, which is very rare, and go,

wow, we're going to kill all the sharks. We're already killing all the sharks. Yeah. Where was the tiger that, can't it just be left there? And people don't go there? Well, they live there, don't they? They live in the bush. Oh, is it?

Oh, okay. It's preying on people of a town called Pandhaka Wata. Just had taken a shot at that. Okay. You sounded like you made it real Kiwi. Pandhaka Wata. Pandhaka Wata. Yeah.

Out the back. Just a couple of hundred k's, but won't take long to get there. So, yeah, today's fact of the day is big cats across the board, your tigers, your lions, your jaguars, your panthers, are obsessed with Calvin Klein's obsession. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, And then we got engaged in 2009. So what's that? Nine years since we got engaged. Yep. And the kids are away. So we're like, let's go out for a lovely meal. I saw on her Snapchat, were you quite drunk?

No. I was just excited because I ate duck. Oh. I ate Peking duck. Right. Like wood fired Peking duck with like a crispy skin inside pancakes with like a hoisin sauce. And that's as good as, I don't know, I've never tried crack cocaine. You were doing a bedroom performance of Home and Away theme song.

Home and Away's theme song, yeah. And multi parts. Not drunk at all? No, I had like one beer for dinner. I was just excited because I had duck. Right. And it was great and it was pancakes and I just loved the duck. It's a good night out. Great, so it was a Chinese meal. Not like Chinese

takeaway, like a Chinese like a nice Chinese restaurant. Right, okay. Take her out. Wasn't the golden horse. Wasn't the golden horse. No, it had no... The lucky duck. It had no reference to a mythical creature

or one of the Chinese zodiac animals in its title. Golden dragon. And then any sort of lucky other thing like jade dragon or jade gold. No, no, none of that. Okay. It was nice. And so we're sitting there we were enjoying the meal

chatting I'd forgotten my phone and then I was like I left it on purpose yeah right because I want to I want to be with you yeah this is about me and you

so then was she on her phone no she just put her phone there because she was like if mum calls and the girls I'll just leave it here so she wasn't on her phone

we were talking and then someone got seated behind us not like super close but the closest to the table behind us and I just heard the chairs go out

the chairs go in and a bit of chat and I was like I go there's some people behind me but I didn't turn around to look and then

I hear like a YouTube ad and then like the stuff I have to when the kids are watching YouTube some screechy person going. It wasn't Baby Shark.

It was like a person doing a video with like Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. Okay. It was really loud. So I turn around and look and I notice at that stage that there's two adults and a child. Now the child's very close to me and I'm getting the full blast of the fun. Okay. So I'm sitting there for a little while and I said a shout out. I said, can you hear that from your side of the table? She's Yeah. So I'm sitting there for a little while and I said a shout out. I said, do you hear that?

Can you hear that from your side of the table? She's like, yeah, I can. And I was like, the kid's watching the fun. I'm going to ask him

to turn it down. And she's like, well, what are you doing? I was like, well, we're out for a childless meal. And while I've got no problem

with children being at meals, I am, and it's a hard and fast rule I have with my kids. My kids don't disturb other people by being there. Yeah. And it's a hard and fast rule I have with my kids. My kids don't disturb other people by being there. Yeah. If they do,

they get taken outside. They get a word. Yeah. And we come back in. Fair enough. If they're there, they should be not disturbing anybody else. Yeah.

And if there is a disturbance as the adult of that child, it's my responsibility to make sure no one's affected. Take the kid out. I'm not the person that's just going to be like, just ignore him.

The tension will stop. Just ignore him. And meanwhile, the person that's just going to be like, just ignore him, the tension will stop. Just ignore him. And meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is like, man, I wish they'd do something with that kid, including but not limited to locking them in the chest freezer in the kitchen. That would be a great idea. We'll soundproof. So I turned around and I was like,

g'day mate, would you just be able to turn that down a bit? And he looks at me terrified. I'm like, it's just quite just be able to turn that down a bit? And he looks at me terrified. I'm like, it's just quite loud. Can you turn it down? And he looks at me and he goes, click, click, click, click, click. Turns it right down.

I'm like, thanks for that. And then I look and the parents are just looking at me like, what have you done? Why didn't you ask the parents? Yeah, because he's a parent. Because you're essentially kind of telling off someone else's kid and that is a big no-no. No, I wasn't telling them off.

I said thanks and stuff. Right. But I couldn't be him being like, excuse me if I meant to bother you, if I meant to interrupt your meal you're having with your parents here, your flatmates, whatever cool relationship you've got going on here. But could you just do us a huge favour and turn that down?

You had to assert yourself as someone that didn't want that noise at the table. But I was polite about it. I would have probably, if I was in that situation, started with a shh. Which I do on a plane. You do do a shush. I do do a shush. Rather than be like, hey.

Couldn't this be taken care of? It's always just a shh. And then he ducks. And then he's hide. Or pretend it's not me. Stop around, Bella. Who just shushed that kid like it wasn't you and he turned it down

I looked at the parents and they were looking at me like they weren't looking like how do you tell off my child they were like how did you do that maybe yeah almost like a we've tried

and then I just turned around and continued my meal and Shardae kept because they were over my shoulder they were behind me she kept me updated with what was happening she's like

they're looking at you I was like I don't care and I must have had some real body language from the back oh your back muscles were probably just like it's because I've been

wearing the posture support so I'm sitting up like straighter than ever and I just must have looked like this guy is here for the duck pancakes and he is not having any interruptions

no one is ruining this man's duck pancakes. And then I went home and if you saw my wife's Instagram story, behaved like the child that I had just told to be quiet in a restroom. Circle of life. Eyes are in you. Ba-ba-dee-chee-ba-ba-ba-dee. ZM's. Fletch.

Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. ZM.