ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 17 2018

Episode Date: October 16, 2018

Vaughan thought he was being pranked yesterday, a victory for the people and Southern Style Chicken Bites and the classic cutlery debate.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Zed Ames. Zed Ames. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. This dress designer, what was her name? Karen G. Karen G. Who's that? House of G. I think she designs for the house.

Mr. G's sister. Australian designer. But nothing against it, but it was just like a fairly straightforward dress. Oh, okay. Settle down. No, it's just interesting. As soon as Kate Middleton... Oh, shut up.

Or Meghan Markle wear it, everyone's like, okay, I need in. But it was just like a white shift dress, which she looked beautiful in. But I'm just saying it's interesting that the website crashed and everyone was like, I need in. But it was just, you know, like a white shift dress, which she looked beautiful in. But I'm just saying it's interesting that the website crashed and everyone was like, I need in. So this is my question. When she's in New Zealand, what's she going to wear? Kate Sylvester. No, I don't know.

That would be my guess. I would have thought all her outfits would have been. A Planet 8 hoodie. They don't do those anymore. Crash the hell on signs. They don't do those anymore. Crash the hell on signs. They don't do them anymore. I don't think Planet 8's a thing anymore, no. She would...

All her outfits would be arranged by now. I was going to say, does someone go ahead and get her outfits from each country? Because what's she going to do when she gets Tonga? Fiji? Do they have a local designer? Well, when I was in Fiji You could go to Port Denneray

And pick up a lovely floral number On your way out to the islands In case you hadn't packed suitably She'll probably wear Amelia Wickstead Actually Who's Amelia Wickstead? Wickstead She's the New Zealand designer

That Kate Middleton wears Oh no She won't know She won't wear what Kate wears She's trying to carve her own path. She'll do it better. Oh, bitchy. Don't be like that.

Yeah. Oh, you're being a real bitch today. You're being a real little butch. You cause that, you butch. You're going real Jamie Lee Ross on it. Top six is coming up. We decided on that. Yep.

Top six security measures New Zealand will be putting in place to make sure the royals are safe on their visit. I saw in Sydney they had snipers on the top of the Sydney Harbour. No, what is it? The Sydney Opera House. They look creepy, eh? And that's real hard to get on the top of because it's, like, slippery. Slippery, yeah.

I think they've got a ladder up the middle. I imagine they use suction cups. They should have worn white though because like they stood out. Yeah. They wore white snipers so you couldn't see them. But they had scuba divers in the harbour too.

I don't know why. Water rats. Water rats, yeah. It's creepy. Like, do they know something we don't know? Was there like some kind of threat? A threat? I don't know.

Crab people. But, yeah, I can't imagine it being that full on here in New Zealand. Nah. Like in Vegas. Do we have snipers? Yep. We've got some pretty dead shots when it comes to rabbit season. I mean, it's always rabbit season in New Zealand.

You'll say, get some central Otago farmers up. Yep. Just to protect them. Yep. Except they'll be, like, looking at her through the lens. I'll be like, she's a good looker. She's a, don't point your snob arrival at the princess. Oh shit, yeah, sorry man.

Just take the scope off. Six past six. All right you lot, listen up. It's story time. God, I've freaked some people out. Late for work. Six past six. You know what got me?

It's seven past six. And I was obviously dyslexic and put it around the other way. Okay. Apologies for that. All right. I didn't have very good sleep. Didn't you? You also thought tomorrow was Friday.

So bad news, babes. You sleep like a log. Like a bloody log. Why? I was out. Had a big day yesterday. Little fella was tuckered. Tuckered right out.

You went and a wella-wopped up. You went and a wella-wopped her. I went and a wella-wopped her in a welly car. It was a real big day. And you got home and you fell right asleep. I was real tired. I couldn't even get off the couch to go to bed. That's how tired I was. Shut up. Get up.

Go to bed. Look real tired. I was really tired. I need a hand getting up. All right, so story time. I've got three news headlines. You've got to pick one of the following three. Man late to craze. Headline two, school cancels best bum competition.

And headline three, squirrel lights up social media. Wait, school cancels best bum competition? And headline three, squirrel lights up social media. Squirrel. School cancels best bum competition. Yes, this is Warren's delayed reaction. Yeah, I know. Best bum. And then I was like, wait, he said bum. Bum.

Because we at school cancelled the slave auction. Oh, I remember we used to do those. Yeah, and it was just basically you bought the year 13s, senior student, and they had to just do what you want for a little bit. Yeah. But, yeah, the whole slave trading situation. Yeah, rightly, that's been cancelled. Yeah. I mean, weirdly, we were doing this like 100 years after slavery,

100 and something years after slavery being abolished. Yeah. But it was just one year. Everyone was like, oh, maybe we should catch up with the times. This doesn't seem right. Yeah. But we never had a best bum. No, neither.

Probably did as like just informal chat. Yeah, between schoolboys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old school girls too. We didn't like to exclude. Okay, yeah. Very inclusive. I've forgotten what story number one is.

Man late to craze. Or squirrel. Squirrel lights up social media. Oh, yeah. I love squirrels. Should we do that one? Yes, please. Squirrel.

I'll go three for squirrel. Okay, we go Japan. We were in Japan yesterday for Storytime with the polite robber. Well, a squirrel has sent social media a buzz. It's set it alight because a squirrel was photographed at a Japanese zoo. It was found in the gardens in Tokyo. Yeah. And it's gone viral. It's had 46,000

shares as of yesterday. 139,000 likes on Twitter. Yeah. And the squirrel has voluptuous breasts. Oh! Is he holding them? Is she holding them? He's kind of just like covering

their nips. She is just kind of pushing it up. Excuse me, don't look at my boobies. Is that where a squirrel's mammary glands are? I don't know. Like, is it even a she or is it a he? Squirrels have boobs. No, they're definitely because they're a mammal, Megan. Remember we talked about this?

Oh, yeah. Mammary glands, mammals. Squirrels, babes. They have a belly button. Mammals who nurse their young through memory glands produce milk. Squirrels have nipples.

Right. Yeah. Hmm. They're eutherian mammals, thus they have nipples. But where are the squirrels' nipples? Well, I don't know. Maybe they're covering them.

I don't really have to Google squirrel nipples, but I'm going to. Oh, I'm googling squirrels' breasts. A lot of people? Well, I don't know. Maybe they're covering them. I don't really have to Google squirrel nipples, but I'm going to. Oh, I'm Googling squirrels. A lot of people making the, I guess, comparison to

Clarice. Clarice? From Disney's famous Chipmunks, Chip and Dale. And there's a photo. But she's a chipmunk. She's not a squirrel.

I know. She's like the sexy, it's like Jessica Rabbit of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. No, is she on Roger Rabbit? Yeah. She's not a squirrel. I know. She's like the sexy, it's like Jessica Rabbit of Her Friend Roger Rabbit. No, is she Her Friend Roger Rabbit? Yeah, Her Friend Roger Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Except she was kind of more human than Rabbit. That was a weird mix.

But yeah, that sexy chipmunk woman. I haven't found any other pictures of squirrels, boobs. Yeah, because this isn't a squirrel. God, I must wonder what we search sometimes, eh? Yeah. I must go through the list. When you go overseas and you see one and you get so excited, everyone's like, oh, it's just a squirrel.

I know that because we don't have them. Yeah. Yeah. I think squirrels have six nipples. Okay. Like that kind of like pig, you know, the pig probably the most famously molten nipple. Like a dice.

Like a dice. Six. Yeah, yeah, it looks like the sixth side. Yeah, I think it's like two, yep, two, four, six down there. Maybe even more. That one looks like it's got eight. But squirrels also, the male squirrels, have large testicles here. Okay.

Oh, yeah, I'm looking at the same picture. The anatomy of the squirrel. Moving on. I want to talk now about the scariest show on Netflix at the moment. It's so scary that some people are apparently passing out. What is this called? The Haunting of Hill House. Okay.

So it follows a group of siblings who, as children, grew up in what could go on to be the most famous haunted house in the country as tragedy forces them, now adults, back to the house to confront the ghosts of the past. It's a haunted house. Okay. And it's a TV show or a movie? Is it a TV show? No, it's a movie. No, it's not. It's a 10 episode

season. Oh, good lord. Yeah, that's the different thing about it. It's like a season, like American Horror Story was kind of the first. Horrors don't really make series. They're one off. They scare you for an hour and a half and then haunt you for the rest of your life. And then, well, the good ones do.

And it's weird to see it as a TV series. Yeah. Right. Because I couldn't get into American Horror Story. I just knew better than to watch that. I watched the first episode and there was an awful scene with a grandma doing something inappropriate. And I was like like not for me

and then they change it up every season because I've never gone into it but I've got friends that love it

same cast yeah they're playing different characters in a different situation yeah and they're

always like themed yeah and then it was like the circus and even just the pictures

scare me yeah it played on everybody's fears oh no so this new show oh no I saw headlines.

People have been, like, passing out. It's that scary. Yeah, apparently. But it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Really? Yeah. Because there was another horror... We talked about it a while back, and it was like,

this is, you know, making people faint and wet their pants and stuff. And I watched it, and I was like, this is a bunch of shit. Oh, is that one with Tony Collette in it? Yeah. Little Miss Sunshine. Is that it? Yeah. Oh, no.

No, but that was sad. Yeah, it was. Hereditary. Hereditary. Nah, it was Meg Magooz. It was just a bunch of turd. What was that scary movie I finally watched the other day? Silent?

The one where they have to be not allowed to speak? Oh, that was like a thriller. That wasn't a horror. That was more of a thriller. That was good. Quiet Time. A Quiet Place. A Quiet Place.

That was great. I'm all about thrillers. That was really good. They cut it and they're making a second one. I'm not about scary ones. Did you hear that? They're making a sequel to A Quiet Place. Remember?

I said it just left me hanging and you were like, that's the way it was meant to be. That's how it was meant to do. Which I think it was, but because it did so well, they're like, we'll make a sequel. Yeah, that's pretty good. I went to Halloween too recently at the movies. You know, the remake of the...

Oh, yeah. I don't know why I did that. I mean, I wouldn't say I watched it because most of the time I wasn't watching it. Yeah. But it was all right. Have you seen the Pet Sematary trailer? No.

Because you know how they remade. They spelled it wrong. That annoys me. No, it's because it's the creepy little haunted kids that made the sign. Oh, right. Where they buried all the animals that got run around the road. Yeah, but the kids should learn to spell it with Megan on it. Yeah, get it right.

If you're making a movie, it's the title of the movie. Spell it right. You're an author, Stephen King. Have some respect. FVM, the podcast. FVM. FVM, the podcast. The BBC, this is the British Broadcasting Corporation. Correct, yeah.

Not anything else that you would think BBC might stand for, has reported upon our Bird of the Year winner, which is the kereru. Kereru. Kereru. Which I'd forgotten. We just used to call the wood pigeon. Remember?

Before everybody. Yeah, you're right actually. I was like, well, there were actually people here before us that had a name before us. We can't just come and rename everything. We're like, oh, and the keredu. It's so fun to say. It's easy to say too. Beautiful. No excuses.

And you know, Vaughan and I get very excited about the keredu, Megan. Because we've been tramping and you hear them. They're like a big plane. The whooshing of their wings. It's amazing they can fly though. They're very fat. And drunk often. Drunk on fermented fruits.

So they're clumsy. They fall out of trees. They're fat. They've got little heads compared to their big, voluptuous bodies. They do have little heads, like cartoon heads.

They look like a pigeon. Essentially, they are a pigeon, but they have the colourful plumage. Are they actually pigeons? Because I think that's an insult. I know it is an insult, but undeniably, they look a lot like a pigeon. Probably why they were called the wood pigeon. They were always in trees, And what are trees made of? Wood.

There you go. Well, internationally, the pigeon, the wood pigeon, the kereru, was reported as the tipsy pigeon by the BBC. Brilliant. When it won, it said the tipsy pigeon has won the New Zealand Bird of the

Year. And that really tickled the British public. But then there was like celebrity endorsements as far away as the UK for various birds of the year. Like Bill Bailey, the comedian, he voted for the takahe. Okay. Because he said... We've spoken to him before, haven't we? Yes. Bill Bailey.

Went to Hotwater Beach, dug a big hole. Was he the one that told us that story? I feel he did. Got in and it was too hot and it burnt him. Yeah. Well, it is called Hot Water Beach for a reason.

It's not called Teppid. The Teppid Beach or just dig a hole and sit in it straight away beach. You've got to dig a hole and let the cold water from the ocean come in. And Stephen Fry

backed the Ketadu this year. He always picks a bird to back. He backed a kakapokas, famously one tried to hump that guy's head that he was with when he was here in New Zealand doing a show. So the tipsy pigeon, as it's known in the UK. I love when we make the news overseas. Yeah, for cute stuff. It's something stupid like this.

Yeah, it's way better. It's way better because then beside it, it's got like other animal stories from around the world and it's got that Chinese dog thing where they eat the dogs. You know that festival that everyone tries to put to an end? Yeah. It's still going. Apparently, there's a small group of resistance.

Oh, great. Well, like, you can't change our way of living. All right. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello, welcome to the Top Six. The Top Six security measures we'll take in New Zealand to keep the royals safe. Australia's going ham on it. Snipers.

Scuba divers. I still don't understand what the scuba divers are meant to do. Like if they see something, what are they going to do? Yeah, exactly. Like quickly swim out of the water? There's a submarine coming! Whereabouts? Hold on.

Over there. Get it. So I don't know about that going really intense with their security to keep the royals safe. So we've got to do something. And here's six ideas. Okay. Number six. On the top six security measures we'll take to keep the royals safe.

Those red barriers, sometimes they're red, sometimes they're white, and you fill them with water so they can't be moved. Oh, yeah. So heavy. Good luck, terrorists. We're going to put those out. That'll get the crowd under control. Yeah. Everybody calm down. These things weigh like a ton. They're filled

with water. How did you get them here? Well, interesting story. You bring them here empty and you fill them up when you get here. Amazing. What do you do at the end? Just unplug it, let the water run out. I really want to see someone crash into those. Boosh.

To be happy some water, right? Have you ever seen, you can look up those crash test videos of cars crashing into like 200 litre drums filled with water and they go boosh and the water all blows out. You can look it up.

Okay, like YouTube because there's crash tests to test the cars but there's also crash tests to test the things to stop the cars so you can look up like safety barrier

crash tests give yourself some time do they have one of those you know that strobe-y truck light yep yep yep and it comes down with that

I've seen a truck crashing into another truck but it's got it's cushiony back down. Oh, exciting. It's pretty good stuff. Okay, nerds. It's pretty good stuff. If you've never driven past one of those trucks

with the arrow flashy lights with the big yellow thing behind it and thought, God, I'd love to see something crash into that. No. If you've never driven past the back of a truck that carries cars and it's got its ramp down and you're like, I'd like to drive up that real quick and jump over the truck. All the time. How fast would I have to be going

when I hit that? Yeah. To land on the other side. Number five on the list of the top six security measures we'll take to keep the Royals safe. Along the way of the barriers, confusing road layouts.

How can anyone chase them down if no one knows where the road goes? Sometimes you're driving, you're like, there was no, oh, well I've missed my turn off now. Just like driving downtown in Christchurch. Yeah.

And just make things one way for no reason. Yeah. Then there's a whole bunch of cones and it's like, nah, this isn't a road anymore. You've got to go this way. Well, I was just driving down this yesterday. It's just like the bloody stairs in Harry Potter.

Just changes without any warning whatsoever. Yeah. Number four, that's someone who doesn stairs in Harry Potter. Just changes without any warning whatsoever. Number four, that's someone who doesn't know Harry Potter. Yes. Oh, yeah, just like Harry Potter. Harry Potter. The school Harry goes to is called? Hogwarts. Oh, good on you.

The bad guy's called? I know that because it's a pop culture reference. Who's the bad guy? Voldemort. Good on you. The bad guy's called... I know that because it's a pop culture reference. Who's the bad guy? Voldemort. Good on you, sister. Only because people say that I'd look like him if I didn't have a nose. Hagrid. Good guy or bad guy?

Bad. Good. No, good, good. And what about that owl? Hedwig. The died. He died, though, eh? Oh, my God.

That was a hard death to take. Yeah. I shouldn't have jumped in on that fifth movie, should I? Who's Dobby? No, you jumped in the seventh movie. Oh, seventh. Seven! God, they go on.

Was Dobby in the seventh movie? Who's Dobby? Um, I can't remember. Dobby. The little house elf. He was annoying. I was glad to see him die. Oh, Dobby.

Number four on the list of the top six security measures we're taking in New Zealand to keep the royals safe. My wife will pose as a Meghan Markle decoy. Not to brag, but I have a very attractive wife. You'd put your wife out there to be sniped. Well, you know, if it's for the greater good. And I'd like to play the part of Prince Harry, except I'm more of a Prince Philip looking dude.

I can't help the royals there. And by the way, before you think maybe Sade could go out with a ginger guy, I don't want to end any Ed Sheeran looking dirt up on my wife for royal protection purposes. She can just be out on her own. And does she get to keep the nice dress? Because that would save me money somewhere in the future. Number three on the list of the top six security measures we'll put in place to keep the royals safe

are mannequins from farmers dressed up as snipers by painting them black. Yeah. And we'll lie them down on the roof with some broom handles that we've also painted black. And some paper towel rolls that we've also painted black on top of the broom handles

to make it look like sniper rifles. Good, yeah. Brilliant. That's a cheap way to keep you safe. You're not going to tell from a distance. No. Hard to tell. Very hard to tell.

And we could even be like, bang, bang, bang, like that. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six security measures we'll take to keep the royals safe. We'll make petrol a dollar a litre for the days they're here and everyone will just be filling up with gas. They'll be too busy to bother hurting the royals. If only. Because I'm pretty sure that's how terrorists work.

Yeah. And the number one way we'll keep the royals safe here in New Zealand is we'll just lie about where they're going to be. So everyone goes there and it's like, chucked a dummy pass. Everyone went with the dummy, but then you go this way and they're not even there. What a shame. Fail for it.

But then no one's there to see them. Was that a rugby analogy from you? That was more of an inter... Chuck a dummy. And then go this way. analogy from you? A ks. That was more of an inter... Ks. Chuck a dummy. And then go this way. Ks. Ks.

Ks. Ks. Ks. Get it. Get it. Ks. Ah, Cameron just falls for it. Yeah. But what are they...

Are they here so we can see them or are they here to see New Zealand? We're here so we can see them. Oh, they're coming just to be seen. Yeah. Yeah, basically. Oh, I thought it was the other way around. They were just like, let's go on holiday. And we were just going to be

like stalking them on holiday. But they're actually here. Yeah, they've done like 70 engagements over the few weeks. Yeah. Too many. That is today's top six.

Great Kiwi Bake Off started last night and that's what I would like to tell you about now in regards to a health warning. Okay. What, because of delicious treats?

Oh my sweet God and sweet pun intended. Okay. What, because of delicious treats? Oh, my sweet God. And sweet, pun intended. It was straight away, straight away into cakes and such. Yeah. Trying to be good. Trying to eat, you know, better and knock off the old after dinner snacks. Were you expecting them just to start with like a savoury or something? I don't know what I was expecting.

But I was immediately, like it started and just the sweeping shots of like food and even like the drawings because before they've made the cupcakes, they do a drawing, like a cross-section drawing of what they want the cupcake to look like and that shows the cupcake, what they're putting is the filling and then how they're going to decorate it as well. And they're like, this is frosting. You're like, duh. And they're like, this is the gooey inside and this is the delicious flavour then how they're going to decorate it as well. And they're like, this is frosting. You're like, duh. And they're like,

this is the gooey inside and this is the delicious flavour it's going to be. And we were just watching it because Sade, my wife and I were sitting there and I said,

oh, the Great Cooley Bake Off song, we should give it a watch. Okay. And then she looked at me and she was like, this was such a bad idea. Now, do we still have that chocolate in the fridge?

And we ate like a block of chocolate between us because it just triggered this weird sweet tooth. Especially watching it after dinner. That's like vulnerability for sweet things. I know. You've eaten like a healthy

meal. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's the last thing I'm going to be eating for the day. And no, sir. No, sir, it was not. And you're blaming the bake-off. I am blaming the bake-off. Okay. I mean, they didn't put that chocolate in your mouth or in the fridge.

They gave me the idea. Why was it in the fridge? I know. That was my question, too. Why is the chocolate in the fridge? Had it been opened? No. You don't want to put chocolate in the fridge.

No, you don't keep it in the pantry. Don't be so bloody stupid. You want it to be hard when you eat it. You don't want it to be hard and cold. If it's soft, you eat it too quick and then you want more.

If it's hard, it's a bit more of a challenge. You're my parents. They're the only people I know that keep chocolate in the fridge and then it goes white. It goes weird.

It goes manky. It's never in there long enough to go white. What, are we talking a day or two tops? Or tops. Yeah, right. No, you keep it in there.

Always keep it in there. No. Because then it's harder and then when you get it. No, no, you keep it in there. Always keep it in there. No. Because then it's harder and then when you get it out you're like you put it in your mouth. No, you don't bite it. You put it in your mouth

and you just kind of like suck it for a bit. You are everyone's grandparents. That's so weird. What do you follow it up with a Werther's original? Oh, heavens no. Oh, you suck that too.

Don't chew it. That's a sweet trick. Oh, no, you don't chew a Werther's. That's asking for trouble. What was the show good? What? Probably undid. Don't chew it. That's a sweet trap. You don't chew a word of this. That's asking for trouble. Was the show good? Well, I probably undid my good eating for the day. It was too busy. It was too busy.

Like, no. But yes, but no. Yes, but no. Yes, but no. But no. But yes, it was. But no, it wasn't. Right, okay.

Quite a confusing time now. I don't know if that's an endorsement. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. We go to the UK now for a story. Claire Busby, she's from Berkshire. She, I don't know how to say this or how to bring this in. So maybe we just be, should we be adults about this? Can you just read it real quick and we'll go, okay.

Okay, she suffered a serious injury to her spine when she fell from her Super King size double bed as she shifted positions during sex. Oh my gosh. Did you say double bed? Spinal injury. Double bed. Did you say double bed?

No, Super King. Super King. A huge bed. How frantic are things that you can't stay on a Super King? It's like doing it on a trampoline. You shouldn't be. There's lots of room. I didn't realise she was on the edge.

Yeah, but people hurt themselves at, you know. Reassess. At the big trampoline places. That's a mid-activity reassess. So she, there's photos of her going to court. She's in a wheelchair. So she damaged her spine. But why was she going to court for?

Well, she is taking, the 46-year-old is taking, beds are azzzzz. Beds are azzz. Oh, because it's multiple-old is taking beds-a-uzzz. Beds-a-uzzz. Oh, because it's multiple Zs. She's taking them to court for seven-figure damage, claiming it's a defective bed that catapulted her during sex onto the floor, breaking her spine or breaking her back. No.

Yeah, I know, right? That's some frantic lovemaking, which here in New Zealand, I believe, would be covered by ACC. Yes. Would it? Do you have to write that on your form? Yeah.

But then... You could just say you fell off the bed, couldn't you? Yeah. Would that not be covered in Britain? You said this happened. I thought the NHS was pretty good with that sort of thing. I don't know. Well, she obviously wants money, blaming the bed.

So is she... This is why I would love just not to work at ACC because I imagine it's a fair bit of paperwork and admin and all that, but I'd just like to look through the claims. Well, that's why I love when they release the stats of Christmas injuries, people getting hurt with their toys. But let's have a sex injuries release. I'm pretty sure they've done one, haven't they? Goodness.

Well, you know, because it's a government department, you can request under the Official Information Act a list of injuries. Fetch me my quill and scroll. I shall be scratching a letter. Get the intern to do it. Intern Anya, can you please quill a letter to ACC? Yeah.

Under the Official Information Act, we wish to have ACC results shared with us about sex injury statistics. Don't you do that. I feel like that's a bit of a seedy question to ask. Yeah, that's why it's better coming from you. Yeah. Not a 30-something man.

And he wasn't a 22-year-old female, not a 36-year-old dude who's just like, well, it's everybody done to hurt themselves? But I would lie on an ACC form. Yeah, you'd just say you fell off the bed. I'm not going to say that's what happened. Rolled over, fell off the bed. So I was wondering, and, you know, we don't have to go into detail,

who has, has anybody had, like, an injury during? Because, you know, things get thrown around, don't you? There's one that's always talked about that maybe we don't even need to hear about today. What? Because there's one that's always... I had a flatmate that did that and told me about it. And I was like, ugh. That would be horrifying being the female.

We all know a guy that that's happened to. The thing is, it happens on stage, doesn't it? Mumford & Sons, they snap a banjo string. The roadie comes out and just gives you a new one. It's no big deal. Or comes out with a new guitar. Slight slowdown. But you're in bed and your banjo snaps.

There's no roadie coming out with a new string. Well, you hope not. You're off to the hospital. Yeah. But you hear about, oh, yeah. I don't think we need to go into, like, graphic details about the adult fun times. But have you ever had. The injury.

More cryptically decode. Yeah. Have you ever had an adult fun times injury? Anyone in this room want to own up to anything? Nah. Anyone in the producers? Nah. Nah.

Caitlin? I don't even have sex. Yeah, you're going to the one person that's not in a relationship. Anya? Why do you look at James like that? I feel like we should focus on you guys. Fletch. Very bedroom orientated.

I don't think. No,ch. Very bedroom orientated. I don't think, no, I'm just trying to think. It doesn't have to be if you've hurt yourself. I don't believe there was any injuries. But like the person you were with hurt themselves? No, I don't have any stories. Why are you probing me? I don't have any stories. Was it a probing when you got hurt?

Oh, 800 dials. Is that why you don't want us probing you? It brings back memories of the pain. No, I don't have a story. it a probing when you got hurt? 0800 DALZ. Is that why you don't want us probing you? It brings back memories of the pain. No, I don't have a story. About probing. 0800 DALZ at M9696.

Have you ever had an adult fun times injury? And if it's on the ACC form, we will get Anya to quill the letter to ACC under the Official Information Act.

Yeah. We'll find out. Give us a call. Give us a text at M. S-E-M. A woman in the UK is taking a bedmaker to court because she's saying it was the super king-sized

bed that threw her during an intimate moment with her partner and broke her back. She's in a mobility scooter in her court appearance. Will she walk again? Do we know? I don't know. But yeah, she's damaged to her spine. What did you say? Compressed? I don't know. But yeah, she's damaged to her spine. What did you say?

Compressed. I don't know. The injury. Yeah, that was just true. I mean, that's courtroom dramatics. Right. Oh, right. Okay.

Well, I've done that thing where you read the first quarter of the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the main bit. Yeah. So we're talking about your adult fun time injuries. And we mentioned how we're going to make an official information act request for ACC claims relating to injuries of a sexual nature.

Somebody said, oh, you're going to be in for an absolute treat because I used to work at ACC and used to read the claims for fun. Once a guy came in with significant burns

to his penis because his girlfriend thought he was cheating so she took to it with hair straighteners. Oh, my God. Good Lord. See, that would be

in the ACC office this would be We got one. We got a live one. You accidentally clamp your ear and Oh yeah.

I've had like a little sizzle on my forehead a couple of times and that's only just going You sizzled your forey. Yeah. Jeez. How long

So did this guy. No, he got his forey clamped. That. How long has he ever been? So did this guy. No, he got his forey clapped. That's different. I know, yeah. It's double-sided. Wow. So do you reckon, oh my, there are some people sharing. Hey.

I'm not going to read. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Because we are. I think most people can look at these things now maybe humorously. Can you tell us? There are some that I just can't.

Okay, turn the microphone off. Oh. There's one that's off air. Okay. Okay. How wrong did it go that it would permanently bend your tailbone? You're right, though. You couldn't have read that on air.

Thank you. I'm getting to be a more mature broadcaster. Because sometimes Old Vaughan would have read that out. Old Vaughan would mature broadcaster Because sometimes Old born would have Read that out And we would have Had to deal with The legal department And so I'm glad

Bent tailbone Yeah and I don't know What went wrong Don't read out the details That's what he just said No yeah yeah We can read that part Oh okay

You better send that off air No send it on air Just send it on How do you permanently Bend your tailbone Like how wrong did it go But it's a bone isn't it It'll be broken Alright let's take some calls Anonymous caller No, he said it on here. Oh, no, he said, how do you permanently bend your tailbone? Like, how wrong did it go? But it's a bone, isn't it? It'd be broken.

Let's take some calls. Anonymous caller, good morning. What was your adult fun time accident? I'm just checking if you've turned into me. Yes, we are. We are anonymous. Yeah, otherwise, we don't want to use your name, obviously. We do have a couple of anonymous callers, so you are right.

But go ahead with your story. No, that's fine. So, obviously, it was away from the bedroom. And all I remember is not feeling great, kind of just after it. So, I thought I'll down some water and go and lay down. Can I just, I just want to just really, where was this happening, though? Because I'm like, are we in the kitchen? Are we in the club?

Lounge? Lounge, okay. Okay, the lounge room. Yeah, yeah. So all I remember is making it to the bedroom, but actually when I woke up, I wasn't in the bedroom and I passed out. What did you get?

Did you get your blood pressure too high or something? Yeah, I think it was something like that. But yeah, so I kind of had to quickly get dressed before the ambulance got there. Overexerted yourself. Imagine if you had adult fun times and they pass out. What do you do? Oh, no.

One, one, one. Hello. Please cover me with a blanket. Thanks to your call anonymous. Logan, what was your adult fun times injury? Yeah, so I was just, you know, having some bit of fun and got a little bit too close to the edge of the bed and ended up falling backwards and whacking the back of my head

on the TV that was in the room. Jeez. Oh, my God. So what happened? My issue is how close is this TV to the bed? Yeah, so I just ended up, apparently I passed out for a bit and, yeah, ended up going to the hospital with a neck brace for a night. And did you have to say how it happened or did you just say you fell off the bed?

No, I was completely up front and just told them. This is it, Anya, this is it. This is why we need to write the letter to ACC. We're going to love one. Okay. Good. All right. There we go.

Logan. Have you ever made an official Information Act request? No, I just see it in the news all the time. The journos upstairs do it all the time. Yeah. You can just write a letter and drop Information Request Act. Yeah. I think that's all you do.

Some other texts. I've got an anonymous anonymous anonymous anonymous good morning good morning all right good what was your adult fun times injury um so we were starting to do a position that is a number condition okay yep yep gotcha just to confirm confirm, is the first number... We get it. We know what number she's talking about.

Okay, sorry. Grow up. I was on the top and I sort of needed to reposition myself so I said to my partner, can you just sort of move to the side?

So when I pushed up on my toes, it was on an awkward angle and my kneecap just looked like this. And you're like, I'm not even doing anything. And I fell down and scratched his legs

and kneed him in the head. It was all really... Did you have to write an ACC form? I did, but I'll tell you this. I mean, I guess this is on air, so they'll know now, but I did not write that on there. That's okay.

That's right. I don't think most people would say it was an adult fun times injury. Thanks to you calling on Miss Caller. Oh, that's good. Man, that would hurt. I'm just doing a live sift. Some of these. A live sift.

Thoroughly, please. I was enjoying adult fun times with a guy who, what I would describe was like the Incredible Hulk. Okay. Must have been 110 kgs of pure muscle. Ayo. Sustained a fairly serious feeling back injury. Oh, no.

I wrote exactly what happened, so I don't lie to government departments. ACC phoned and started probing for more details. He was having, was it a Friday afternoon? Yeah. They're like, we've got half a live one. I'm calling for details.

I need silence. And it's on speakerphone in the office. Yeah, they're all huddled around. You know, yeah. Once an enthusiastic bed, but he detached my bottom lip from the gums. So what's that? Oh, yuck.

That little stringy bit. Yeah. I was too embarrassed to tell the doctor, so I said I was drunk and I couldn't remember what happened. And as part of it, I got told I should attend alcohol counselling. Judge me. And like, I

had to go for a couple of just like learning the dangers of binge drinking and stuff. Hi, my name's Hayley. I'm here because I'm an alcoholic. And something happened to my mouth. Somebody said, I once smacked my eye on the corner of a bed. It wasn't my bed.

I was playing away from home, so I wasn't familiar with the hard corners. Which if you've just got a mattress on a bed. Ever buy a hard-cornered bed base. Yeah, because if you're not kicking your shins On the way past You're giving yourself a black eye during adult fun Because I do a lot of mid morning wheeze And you get

There's no sort of like general physical Movements I'm just saying I don't turn the light on So I know when to stop when my Knees hit the bed The soft bed. The softness stops you. Yeah, the softness stops me.

Yes. Somebody else said, in my early 20s, I had to go to physio to fix my back after trying something out. Trying something out. The physio who said, how did this happen? And I told them, and they were like, it shouldn't happen to someone your age. They told me the truth, and they were like, now I feel bad about someone your age. They told them the truth and they were like, now I feel bad about it. I've dislocated a hip during adult fun times.

That's from your nana. Don't be mean. Still having physio on my back after an adventurous position four years ago. What? Yeah. It's so degrading, I reckon. Like having an injury just after that

that lingers that long. You're like, oh, I should have limbered up. Stuff was getting pretty fun in the boudoir. Someone else messaged us in and I got headbutted to the nose. It wouldn't stop bleeding. But she said I wasn't allowed to stop. So that was quite weird, a whole weird situation.

But I had a black, you know when you get knocked in the nose, you get the black eyes two black eyes and a severely bruised face. I've just seen a I've got a WhatsApp from mum. I don't want to open this because she'll always text

when we're talking about something on the show. Go on. Open it. Oh no. This is Google Jasper Carrot insurance claims. Very funny.

Oh okay. Oh Jasper Carrot. Legend. That ginger guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he British? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, Jasper Carrot. Legend. That ginger guy, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he British? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very, very funny. I was so hoping she was, like, giving us an example. Yeah. Ruh. F-A-M. So, you said it was Monday night. Monday night. I got a message on Instagram from World Rally Car Driver Hayden Patton,

who's listened to the show for ages. Right. Least to listen when he was a young fella. That's nice. And listens to the podcast and stuff when he's travelling around the world sometimes, just for a little bit of taste of home. Yeah. Connection to home.

And he said, hey, g'day, mate. I know this is like super last minute, but I've got an opportunity that's presented itself, and I thought you might be into it. This came from Hayden's Instagram account. Yeah. Okay. Does he have a tick?

Personal Instagram account. Yeah, he's got the blue tick. Okay. It's legit. It's legit. So he said, tomorrow, if you're into it, if you can be at this heliport at 11. Yeah.

Or 12. You can come for a helicopter ride, which immediately I was like, okay, I don't even know what it was. Yep. Love a helicopter ride. And then when you arrive at the destination, I'll take you for a fang in my Hyundai rally car and then we'll helicopter you back.

You're like, I don't even need to think about this. What's the catch? I'm immediately like this oh like is there a catch he's like no man it's like this position's opened up we've got a spare spot and so you might be into it i was like super into it this is why megan and i were like this is a prank like yeah we're gonna get there and i was I was like, things like this don't happen to people like me. Yeah. Because I'm a rat bag.

And I thought, is this? I did think a little bit, is this a prank? Yeah. And then I told you guys and you're like, this feels like a prank. And I'm like, you guys aren't pulling the prank. And you both said, promise, promise. We don't have enough money to pull a prank with a helicopter. So instantly not us.

True. I never thought of the New Zealand budget of pranks. Very rarely extends to helicopters. Or you get there and it's like a cardboard thing and we're like, they jump in. I'm like, damn it. Fell for it. Yeah.

So I get there and it's all legit. So I get in this helicopter. Yeah. And take this like beautifully scenic 45 minute flight north from Auckland. Also, might I add,

at the same time Fletch and I were stuck in a meeting which Vaughan skiddly-deed out of. DeRoss was like, I've got to leave this meeting because I'm going

on a helicopter ride. It was an hour and a half meeting. I was just like, get me out of here. Yeah, by the time that meeting finished I was landed. I know.

I was landed at my destination. Yeah. Landed in a paddock. Yeah. And there's like this big truck with this like big Hyundai logo on the side. And I'm like, okay, this is all, this seems pretty legit. Again, we wouldn't be able to afford a truck for a prank. Yeah.

Or just a location prank. Yeah. Just that sort of destination prank. Was Hayden like, why do you always look so concerned? Like you're looking around the whole time like, where's the chat? I'm trying to unbend her hair somewhere, aren't I? Those bastards. But they worked. Right. And he was like,

oh yeah, we had a chat and everything and then he was like, oh, bloody go for a fang. And I, they put a GoPro in, they're going to send me the video, which I imagine is just like seven minutes of my stupid face with the most unwipable grin I've ever had.

Because I was like, I'm probably going to be a little bit scared. But it was weird. I wasn't scared. I was just super excited. Right. You felt safe with him. I couldn't take the stupid look grin off my face. At one stage, I tried to shut my mouth, but my teeth had gone dry.

Yeah. And my lip had gone dry. Yeah. And my lip wouldn't go back over. So there'll be like this 10 second bit on the video of we're going like 80 kilometres an hour around a corner on a gravel road. And I'll be like, licking my... Moistening your teeth. Moistening my teeth so the lip can recede back over them. So how fast did he go slow for you? No.

Okay. It was the car that he won the Rally of Raglan in at the weekend. Oh, my God. It was nuts. Like, I don't even know. We did a little, I'm pretty sure we were off the ground at one stage. There's a Rally of Raglan? Yeah.

The coast. The roads around there. Okay. You've got to get all. It just sounds a bit weird, you know, like the rally of Finland. The rally of Portugal. Yeah. And then rally of Raglan.

But that was... I was like, oh, we'll take... Obviously, we're just going to take it easy. Yeah. And then we get up to the little line where it's... And then we did. We took off and it was just like going and I was like, oh, this is nice. And he's like, oh, we haven't started yet.

I was like, oh. And then we got up to this orange sign that said start. And I was like, oh, we're actually starting nice. And he's like, oh, we haven't started yet. I was like, oh. And then we got up to this orange sign that said start. And I was like, oh, we're actually starting here. And he stopped and he counted in. He was like, three, two, one. And then we were gone and we didn't stop again. Oh, no way. I would have been, slow down. You would have been, this is

ridiculous. I would have loved it. You would have loved it, Megan. Fletcher would have been like, no. Because you watch that, what's that one where they go round and round? Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, Ford Holden. Oh, no. Because you watch that, what's that one where they go round and round? Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, Ford Holden. Oh, no. On the closet petrol heads. There is an amazing amount of closet petrol heads in New Zealand.

You've got your outright petrol heads and I live in West Auckland. So I know plenty of them and I see them all the time. But there are like, I was getting messages. I put some stories of it on my Instagram and so many people messaging and just being like, oh my God, I would just love to do this quietly. Don't tell anyone? Right up over you. Just be like, I would just bloody love to get by. I'm an undercover bogus.

Yeah, yeah. I bet you felt alive for the rest of the day though. I did and then I got back in the helicopter and came back and landed and I was like, okay, this whole experience happened in like three hours. And it wasn't a prank. See you later. Got back in Auckland traffic and I was like, well. This whole experience happened in like three hours. And it wasn't a prank. See you later. Got back in Auckland traffic and I was like, well, this feels slow.

How does he get on driving in normal traffic? I said, man, you must find driving on the ordinary roads boring. He's like, no, it's actually quite nice to go around a corner not sideways. I made an announcement this morning and I thought it was something pretty cute So after You should know better than that You should know by now Yeah I don't know

I don't know So sometimes I'm like If you don't know us by now Sometimes I'm just like This will get them Like they'll relate to this They'll understand They'll be like oh my god

Yeah that's I just So Megan's like guys Something pretty cute's happened Andrew my husband Has learnt my phone number. Mr. Toyboy. It was weird when I call him that. You can call him that.

Mr. Toyboy. Mr. Toyboy. Has learnt my cell phone number. It's pretty cute when your kids start to count. You know, you've got your big milestones. They hit 10. Why are you laughing? He's almost 25. Oh, yeah. Yeah, actually, got your big milestones. They hit 10. Why are you laughing? He's almost 25.

Oh, yeah. I always forget that he's 25. One should be careful if one's throwing stones and living in a glass house. I always forget that he's 25. Very thin glass. Very thin, like that old glass. You've got to open the windows real carefully because it's super thin. That's the glass house you're living in.

But it's pointless to learn somebody's phone number these days. Do you know anyone's? So I used to know my parents' home line, the one we grew up with. But then they moved a couple of years ago, got a new number. I think they had to. Yeah. And now I don't know anyone's number off by heart apart from my own. That's so sad to me.

But you don't need to because it's all on your phone. But do you know your parents' cell phone numbers? No. Do you? That's the thing. I'm always like put you next to Ken. I think that's a good thing then. And so I'll just be like, oh, I don't know the number.

I'll just make one up. Really? I know. Do you know Sade's? Yep. Would she know yours? If she sat down and really thought about it, maybe. Okay.

Maybe. But that's the thing because you know when your phone goes flat And you're like, well, I'll just call, I can't Well, because I learn it because like when you're in a relationship You often have to write down, someone's like, oh, write down their details Yeah Because we were booking our dog in here to give them my emergency phone number And he learnt it off the top of his head And I was like, that is the first time you've remembered it.

Legit. You always get one number wrong, but he's finally got it. A hundred percent. And I was like, that is, that's tickled me. I've nearly learnt my passport number.

My new passport number. See, my old passport, I had a story. I had a story with the number. Do you know how I remember my, my one? LK Liquor King.

I think I had an LK and it was like the Lakers. I was thinking about the NBA team and I thought Lakers and that was the start of the story. Yeah. But in my new one, I need a story. You know what? I should make the story about the price of something. Liquor King.

Because it's zero. 18 bottles. I'm just making up the number here. It's 18. Let's say it. 18 bottles. I'm just making up the number here. But it's 18. Let's say it's 18 bottles of Woodstock for 12 people. Yeah. Isn't enough. That's too confusing.

No, because that's the thing. If it's confusing and weird, your brain remembers it. That's the trick to remembering numbers and stuff by using stories. Because, you know, I want to show off and tell you all the numbers I know, but then you'd literally be able to steal my identity. But again, you'd learn your ex-husband's credit card because it was a fight or flight, wasn't it? Because he took it off you, so you had to learn it.

I know my IRD number, my credit cards. It's plural, multiple. I don't know my IRD. My IRD number, my sign-in know my erud. My erud. My ID number, my sign in for my internet banking. I know my airpoints number. I know like all my numbers off my heart. But you don't know what a mammal is. Yeah.

How does that serve me in life? I think we should get one number. Yeah. And that's our everything number. Oh, yeah, right. No, but then if someone gets your everything number, then that's all over. It's all over.

Yeah, actually, that's true. Yeah. Easier for me, but also easier for... Criminals. Criminals. Yeah. What a glorious day. A glorious day.

I mean, I'm not even like personally invested in this. I just like seeing change. Blessed be the fruit. Yes, under his eye. Indeed. Well, yesterday we talked about the fact we had been alerted to the fact that Fletch and in turn Anya's favourite petrol station snack, the Southern Style Chicken Bite,

had had an increase in price, a 10% increase in price from $1 a piece to $1.10 a piece. Now, I even had a message before from Digger on Instagram in the inbox with a picture of his local Southern Style Chicken Bites. Yes. And you'll see there, if you look in the price, $1.10. Is it still $1.10? $1.10.

So it's $1.10. There it is under the – oh, I'm trying to click on it. Okay, Dad. You got there. Yeah, $1.10. $1.10. There it says $1.10. $1.10. There it says $1.10. $1.10.

And so, Diggers, I'm outraged. And like we were yesterday. Because we were first... Collectively, the nation was outraged. Yeah, people started sending in pictures, didn't they? Yeah. Last couple of days, inbox flooded. Over the weekend, I thought it might have been just a one-off.

A rogue wild bin. No. They just decided to branch out and decided on its own pricing. But it wasn't. It was a universal price increase. And, well, the people yesterday were livid. And in Germany... Gone was a day of $5 would get you $5.

Now it would get you $4 and a dipping sauce. And a dipping sauce. You'd have $0.60 for a dipping sauce. Not good enough, are you? Absolutely not. No. When was the last time you had them? Oh, maybe last week.

Just coincidentally before the price change it must have been. Yeah. And have been considering, since we've been talking about it so much, maybe dabbling this weekend. Okay. So it hasn't deterred you. You're just outraged. Well, it hurt.

It hurt more than anything because, you know, you're a loyal Southern Style Bites customer. Well, you're a regular traveller. Your boyfriend's family's from the Waikato and currently are residing in Auckland. The drive down, there's you just BP's everywhere along the way. Oh, yeah. That Drury one is a frequent stop.

Yeah. Well, well, don't fill up with gas there, by the way. The gas there's always more expensive. That's how they get you. We had a winch yesterday. We took calls you know when a price

increase has really got you upset just even if it's a little one and well this groundswell movement calls change

we've heard this is the official correspondence this is the official correspondence our well-being cafe team enjoyed the chat

this morning we thought you may be interested in this. Update below. This is from BP. This is an email. This is from the BP's people. We clearly ruffled a few feathers with our updated Chicken Bites pricing. Ruffled a few feathers. The first of

quite a few chicken puns. Do you want to try a ding when there's a pun? That's cute. I didn't get that. To be honest, there's only like two more puns. No. Do you want to ding? Should I ding when there's a pun? That's cute. I didn't get that. To be honest, there's only like two more puns. Why don't you say it? No, you still have to ding now.

Okay. I'll start again then. Start again. We've clearly ruffled a few feathers with our updated chicken bites pricing. That, what? That wasn't a pun. That was just the word chicken.

That was just the word chicken. Not really a pun. You just say the word. Rather than brood over it, we've listened to your feedback and hatched an idea. So from Tuesday the 23rd of October, a week away. So we're going to have to suck up. Okay. Wellbeing Cafes nationwide will be offering a new Bites combo deal.

Any five. Fletcher's face. Any five. Is this democracy? For $5. I think it is. The people have spoken. So that's still $1.10.

Yes, but. Five, as you say, is the minimum amount that you've ever purchased. But I'd get five. That would be my Goldilocks amount. But this is what we said yesterday. We were like, you wanted them to give you a deal if you bought more. Yeah. That's what they've done.

So can I buy ten for ten? Yes. Well, that would just be two lots of five. Denominations of five. Yeah, the people. This is why you stand up for what you believe in. Yeah, and it's across the range. I know you're just a Southern style chicken bites guy,

but this is over the entire bites range apparently, which is there's a bacon and egg bite. Good Lord, I haven't had that. Have you had that, Anya? Good Lord, I've had the Memphis. I don't think I've ever straight. I've always just been loyal to the SSB. Memphis chicken.

Yep. Southern chicken. Yep. Mac and cheese bite. Oh, I've had the mac and cheese. That's all right. It's no Southern style chicken bite. Now, in my. Mac and cheese bite. Oh, I've had the mac and cheese. That's all right. It's no southern style chicken bite. Now, in my opinion, we're heading into dicey territory with these last two.

Okay. Nacho beef, which I'm okay with, but they put beans in it. Oh, okay. I always leave beans out. Yeah, okay. Nacho beef and bean bite. Yep. And a mushroom risotto bite.

Uh-uh. Nah. So you. So you. Well, that's like a little arancini bite. I should call it. Arancini. Arancini. It's like arancini. It's like arancini bite. Uh-uh. Nah. See, I just go southern. Well, that's like a little arancini bite. Arancini. Arancini. Arancini.

I was like. Arancini bite. What's an arancini bite? Well, you don't usually get arancini balls. No idea what you're talking about. Well, Megan. A ball of, like, deep fried rice and it's got, like, stuff in it. I can't understand why you'd eat a ball of deep fried rice when you can have a ball of

deep fried chicken. This is beyond my comprehension. It is. Well, you can have that on the side. It's deep fried rice when you can have a ball of deep fried chicken. This is beyond my comprehension. We can have that on the side. It's deep fried everything. I think we need to congratulate BP here for listening to the people.

Congratulations. And this is a win, a victory for the people. Always stand up for what you believe in. This is what I'm also reluctant to do. What?

Make them a hero because they were the villain. They are only a hero because they became the villain. They're back at an equal footing as they were before. Well, we just gave them a clap. It's not like they're in the middle. Just like pull in the clap. Just watch the clap.

See, you don't eat Southern style chicken bites as much as Intern Anya and I, but we're over the moon at this news. I've never had one. Well, I'll share. I'll buy. I'll share. I'll buy. I'll share. I'll share was unappealing to him, but at least he said,

I'll share and then stop. When it came to, I'll buy you, he stopped it and couldn't even get it out. You can buy one next time. Okay. Well, you know, I'm going to buy five.

I'm not going to give you one of my five. I buy what I want and then I'm like, I don't want to share these. But then when I'm buying them, someone says to me, a worker that works there, says, oh, they have $5 for the combo there. I'll be like, don't make yourself a hero about that.

They were $5, they were $1 each beforehand. If anyone's a hero here, it's me. It's great news for the people. This is great. I wish New Zealanders would care this much about bigger issues. But they go on too long. And it's hard and then it gets boring.

And they're not as delicious as Southern Style Chicken Bites, are they? Yeah. Where's the yummy payoff? Want to talk about the compromises you had to make

when you moved in with somebody. Okay. And I'm not talking about like, I don't know, what's the normal compromises? Like what kind of dog are you going to get? Sure.

I want to talk about things that you grew up that were a specific way in your house. The reason on Reddit last night there was this ferocious debate about cutlery drawers and how they should be set out. Someone uploaded this photo and everyone was just like, you're an absolute monster. Like, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? So what did people have the problem with this photo and everyone was just like, you're an absolute monster. Like, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? So what did people have the problem with this photo? So it was the order in a cutlery drawer,

a standard cutlery drawer of where everything goes. Okay. Can we say it in unison from left to right? Okay. Okay. Knife. No. From left to right.

Starting on the left, moving to the right. Yeah. Forks. No. Forks. Because you always have. Starting on the left, moving to the right. Yeah. Forks. No. Forks. Because you always have the knife on the left. No, you have your fork on the left. Oh, yeah, no, you do.

But for some reason the knives go left. No, my knives are on the left because it's a long one. Right. It's a longie. And I have my chopsticks in there. So chopsticks, knives. No, but you're talking about. No, chopsticks goes in with like your utility knives. No, I'm talking about chopsticks, knives. No, chopsticks goes in with your utility

knives. No. Butter knives. Butter knives? Butter knives? When are we going to bring the chopsticks? Maybe in the drawer down. Knives, chopsticks, forks, soup spoons, other spoons.

And then teaspoons and the little teaspoons. How many do you use soup spoons? Really? They don't deserve it. This is a primary use cutlery drawer. I don't want to pick up a spoon. Who has soup spoons? No, but I don't want to pick up a spoon and it's a soup spoon.

Well, get the soup spoon in the drawer down. It can sit with the stuff you don't use. No, but sometimes I need a soup spoon. Get rid of the soup spoons in this analogy. Because, no, who has soup spoons? Yeah, okay, Nana, you can retire your soup spoons. Okay, I can see why. Everyone's just eating soup spoons with a table spoon. I can see why the internet

went crazy over this. Because I just did what my parents did. Knife. Forks. Knives. Spoons. Fork, knife, spoons and then like that's and then the longer one, be it on the left or the right, is where your bigger knife,

your sharp knife, and your chopsticks and whatever else. I'm going to throw in the fact that I've got a knife block, so I don't need to put my knives in. I've got a knife block too. This is for like paring knives. I know, like crappy little knives. The smaller shafts knives. Have you got a Vitronox? No.

It's this brand of knife. It'll cut through a boot. I don't know if people know about this. I need to cut through carrots. I don't need to cut a boot. These things go straight through a carrot. But I don't need, I'm not going to buy a knife because it can through a boot. I don't know if people know about that. I need to cut through carrots. These things go straight through a carrot. But I don't need, I'm not going to buy a knife because it can cut a boot. No, I said it could.

I haven't tried it. Well, how do you know it can cut a boot? Actually, I don't. They lie. No, I've got those good old knives that actually partially mosh a tomato when you cut it. Oh, really? Yeah. Those ones. They squeeze the seeds out for you.

Because then you don't cut yourself, eh? Yeah, exactly. Okay, so the internet's having a real issue with this. About the order of the cutlery drawer. Okay, and you're saying when you moved in with... Well, I didn't know it was an issue because when I moved, well, I've never lived with you guys, but also when I moved in with my wife,

well, before we got married, we apparently just had the same situation growing up. That or she didn't care enough to change. Example, Dawn and Megan, you move in together in this weird situation. What's the order of the cutlery drawer? Because you're both so different.

I know I'm hard, I'm stubborn. It's a fork, it's a knife and it's a spoon. Do you know when you use all your cutlery in the dishwasher and then your partner Are you talking about a cutlery drawer reset? Yeah, your partner unloads the dishwasher. Yeah. And then your partner... Are you talking about a cutlery drill reset? Yeah. Your partner unloads the dishwasher. I'm like, what?

Why is there a fork, knife, spoon? It's knife, fork, spoon. And I change it around at least a couple of times already. I'm like, I'm going to change this until it's hard and fast. Knife, fork, spoon. It's just the way it is. It's because you say knife and fork. You see I'm with Megan.

Knife, fork, spoon. Why knife, fork, spoon? That's not how you hold them. I don't care. It makes no sense. So once I moved into a flat and it was not an, I just changed the order. And that's how it stays. My way is the highway.

Yeah. I can't deal with this cutlery drawer. You just keep turning it. It's my way. My thought is that people don't care about the cutlery order as much as us. I think when we moved in, my biggest thing that I had to push was a junk drawer because she had not grown up with a junk drawer. Oh, you've got to have a junk drawer.

You've got to have a junk drawer in the kitchen. What about when you start dating someone, what about what side of the bed do you sleep on? What if you're both lefties or both righties? That's how I knew we were opposite sides. We were like, oh my God. You were meant to be. This is it, yeah.

Because tradition says that the male should sleep closer to the door, right? That's why the, so as to be like, if an intruder comes and the man can stand up and say, on God's good sir, you're broken into my abode. But you're married to a South African, so you sleep next to the door, right? Yeah, it's an easy way to go.

And away from the toilet. Yeah. Is that two Oscar Pastore jokes in a week? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, Is that two Oscar Pastore jokes in a week? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, okay. Those 2014 references never get old. So I was wondering this morning,

on $800.00 anywhere, you can text 9696, what kind of compromises or unusual clashes did you have with your partner when you first moved in together? Okay. Like where things went.

Maybe it was a dishwasher drawer argument. Yeah. Cutlery up or down. The order of it. Yep. F.M. Talking about those little compromises, the unusual weird compromises you had to make

when you moved in with someone, a new partner. There are some great, and I'm hoping every single one of these will lead to healthy debate. People are listening with their partner right now. Somebody said, when we moved in together, we had a huge argument about the best way to hang out T-shirts. Are you?

Okay. I hang from the bottom. Yes, which is the way you have to hang them. The thing is, I hang from the bottom as well. However, little stretchy sides sometimes. You get a little pull out at the bottom? Just like little pulls on the side. Yeah, but you don't want peg marks on the shoulders.

I know. And you don't want a line halfway through your t-shirt. Bingo. That's their problem because they said they hung them, they'd hang the sleeves over the top of the line and then peg that and then there would be lines across my breasts. What are you, a monster? Yeah.

Hang them from the bottom. Hang them from the bottom. You know that we have irons, eh? You don't need to iron if you hang from the bottom. Somebody else said when my partner was hanging out, when we were hanging out clothes, when we first moved in together, he put two socks on one peg. And I was like, what are you doing that for?

Two socks? This is making my blood boil. You only do that if you've run out of pegs. Yeah. I know. It's like when people are hanging out towels and their towels are sharing pegs. And so there's an overlap of towels. Now, the rest of the towel could be dry,

but the overlap of the towel is still going to be wet. You're going to have a wet edge. Because you had to dry twice the depth of towel. Now, come on! Let's not be stupid about this. Give it to the pegs! We'll take some calls. Rebecca, what did you have to compromise

with your partner when you moved in on? We had a debate about Venetian blinds. Oh, up and down. No, is it when you twist them shut? Is it that one? Up or down? Yeah. So is the blind, I would go blind the slats up because then the light goes up, not down.

Exactly. Yeah. Because if you have them pointing down and you're lying on the, like, if it's especially in a bedroom, you're most likely below the top Venetians, the sunsneaks. What are they, stupid? We've been living together for, like, almost 10 years, and in the last couple of years, we've moved into a rental that had

Venetian blinds, and he would constantly frustrate me, because he'd just do them whatever way he wanted, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. He's not thinking about the light. No. God, you irritate me. You need to get in touch with him.

He moved out. No, no, he knows now. Oh, he knows now. I was going to say. Oh, he knows. That would be the ultimatum from me too. Like, you're going to put the blinds up the right way or you're out, mate. Rebecca, thanks for your call.

Gabriela, what did you have to um argue about with the partner when you first moved in uh which way the toilet paper goes oh no please tell me you're an over uh no i i am now i'm converted oh so you were happy to have your toilet paper run down the wall yeah so that was the argument i'd never heard before i grew up in a house with very naughty cats oh And so if you put it over, you'd come home to toilet paper everywhere. Right. And then that habit developed. Yes.

But it makes sense to go over. You're a monster if you go the other way. I've changed. I'm not a monster anymore. On toilet rolls, somebody said when they moved in with their partner, they noticed there was two toilet roll holders. And they said,

what's going on here? And he said, well, this is for full. And then I put my empty ones on this one. What? He keeps his empty toilet rolls on the toilet roll holder just because he can't be bothered

dealing with them at the time and waits till the other toilet roll holder is full of empty toilet rolls before discarding them. Oh, monster. Gabriella, thanks for your call. Louise, what did you have to

settle with the partner when you moved in? Well, my husband comes from a family of six kids and he always, whenever they finish something, so a pack of chippies or whatever, they have to leave the packet on the bench so their mum would know to replace it. And he still does it to this day.

I know. He's like, mummy, we need more burger rings. Yeah, yeah. So, like, you know, if he finishes off a bottle of milk or, you know, the chocolate biscuits or whatever, he'll leave it on the bench to let me know that we need to replace it. But I don't really care. He can buy his own chairs.

Leave it on his side of the bed to let him know that you don't do that anymore. Good call, good call. Oh, no, that's... Has it happened to Mr. Toyboy too? No. Thanks, you call it ways. My partner and I's first bad fight was over how to fold the corners of the bed.

Now, I said hospital corners on the bed, go side first, then the end. And he said, no, it's end first, then the side. Crikey. Oh, I don't know if I care that much about that, to be honest. It kicked off. As long as they're tucked in, I don't... Yeah. I think I About that To be honest It kicked off As long as he tucked in I don't I think I do a hospital corner

What's a hospital corner Where you wrap it around You go one under And then the other now Yeah Yeah sides and then ends Kind of seals it Yeah nicely

Real tight I gave in We did our own ways On our own sides But then I gave in And we just do it his way now Five years happily married Yeah you've got to

not sweat the small stuff, eh? Like, make your tuck in your bed. Here's some more stuff to sweat. Vegemite. Fridge or pantry? I'm pantry. Yeah, me too. I've always lived with it in the fridge.

He liked it in the pantry. Now we've got two separate jars. Problem solved. Oh, see, that's... Yeah, that's good. That's the way. But then what if you run out of Vegemite

and you have to get into their Vegemite? You have to get into their Vegemite? And it's cold. You have to use cold Vegemite. And it's super cold. But also Marmite. I think I'd quite like it cold, actually. It's always been in the pantry, but cold Vegemite would be quite yum.

Another one where just general dishwasher stacking arguments, not just the utensils, but also just how plates go. My partner seems to think you just push them all together. And I'm like, well, how's the water going to get in there to clean? I don't understand the dishwasher argument because if you've got a partner that is that passionate about it, like let them do it. Nah, but they're wrong a lot

of the time, Megan. Then don't stack it in the first place. I won't. I'll leave the dishes on the bench for you. I would prefer they were because I have to restack everything. And Sade's not a rinser, eh? You've said this before. Oh my God.

I'm a rinser. I had to bite my tongue. Was it last night or the night before? Peanut butter from breakfast was not rinsed off the knife. And we're talking some 12 hours later. There's three things. Peanut butter, oats, because that turns into glue. Oats, yeah, that turns into concrete.

That's concrete. And there's one more. Wheat bits is in with oats too. Wheat bits as well. Or eggs if you leave eggs on a plate. And mashed potatoes goes like glue. Those are the things you need to rinse. The rest of it, leave it to the dishwasher.

That's what it's for. It washes your dishes. My dishes is a preliminary wash before the dishwasher. Yeah, same. They go into the dishwasher pretty clean and come out great. Oh, this dishwasher's not very good. Have you ever had that? Yeah.

This dishwasher's not very good. Oh, why was that? I didn't wash this three-day-old peanut butter off this knife, but I just jammed it upside down into a full cutlery thing. Oh, it's the dishwasher, is it? Why don't you put a roasting pan in there? If it doesn't do it right this second time, give it? Why don't you put a roasting pan in there if it doesn't do it right the second time? Give it another spin.

You don't put pans or roasting dishes in the dishwasher. Vaughn's off his chair. He can't believe it. It's good. Then I don't have to clean it. Two spins. But it's got to fight the burn and the oil of a roasting pan.

It can't fight either way. It needs a comrade. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day. Oh, tonight in Christchurch. See you at Cleaver & Co for the Fact of the Day pub quiz. And also, have we got not yet? No, are we going to announce the other Fact of the Day location?

Tomorrow. We've got another one to announce tomorrow. Okay. What about, are we confirming our scooter safari this afternoon? No, Fletch said we weren't going to say because we weren't sure if we could get scooters for everyone. Yeah, well, no, we don't want other people turning up to hire our scooters, our Lime scooters. Unofficially, we're going to be a scooter gang.

And even Megan is going to do it with her bung hip. This is going to be funny. We're going to have a song, aren't we? Scooter gang. Oh, how does it go? Scooter gang, scooter gang, scooter gang. Scooter gang, scooter gang, scooter gang. It's going to be great.

I wish we had leather jackets. I've had a message from my friend Mike. I don't look cool in a leather jacket. I tried a friend's leather jacket on. I thought I might, you know, as I got older. You're not a leather jacket person. No, I'm not a leather jacket person. I'm happy.

I'm not even a denim jacket person. You just wear it. You do you. No, no. I don't want anyone going, hey. No, because you guys teased me about my denim jacket the other day. Like you do to me. Yeah, your denim jacket. You call me Danny Zuko. Yeah, when you guys teased me about my denim jacket the other day. Like you do to me. Yeah, your denim jacket.

You call me Danny Zuko. Yeah, when you wear your leather jacket. Yeah, no, you would look stupid in a leather jacket. Well, you might need a jacket. Hey, what are we doing tonight, Danny Zuko? You might need a jacket because I've had some inclement weather reports, but I've just checked and it's looking good for the Scooter Gang. Scooter Gang, Scooter Gang later.

Scooter Gang, Scooter Gang, Scooter Gang. Later on. So I'm excited. Where are we going to go? We're on pretty keen for some chicken wings. Can we do a jump? A pre-chicken, a jump. Can we do a jump off something?

Yeah, if you want. Off a curb. No, you be careful. Did you ever see someone doing a jump off one of these higher scooters? Yeah, I did off a curb. Oh, yeah, right. No, I did, yeah, off a curb. Okay.

I was like, that was the first day they were out. I was like, good. Don't you do this, Megan. I can't have nice things. I've got my sneakers on. I'll be fine. Today's fact of the day is about Harry Potter. Yeah.

Did you just mention Harry Potter? I mentioned Harry Potter before on the show. Unrelated. I just love asking Fletch Harry Potter questions. She doesn't know any.

My wife's the same. She doesn't know anything about Harry Potter. Doesn't she? My kids weirdly do even though they haven't watched any. They know.

They'll be like, that's Harry Potter. Right. Have you done the sorting hat with your kids? Is August a Slytherin? Yeah, I did it with, yeah. Is she a Slytherin? Yeah. Yes, girl. We've got a good spread in our house.

She's a Slytherin. Indy's a Gryffindor. I'm a Hufflepuff. Go Hufflepuff. And my wife's a Ravenclaw. So we've got like a good spread. We've got a bit of everything. Okay. But you're Slytherin. You're both Slytherins. Yeah, we're both Slytherin. Just me representing Hufflepuff. Well, today's fact of the

day is that Daniel Radcliffe was allergic to Harry Potter's glasses. What? Yeah. Like when you buy a cheap necklace and it gives you a mark on your neck? The metal of the original Harry Potter glasses gave him an allergic reaction. Here he is having a

sit down. This is a conversation between J.K. Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe. This has had six million views on YouTube. Okay. Of people watching this little chat. Particularly good sign early on. The green eyes went down so badly. But then I came up in these terrible spots after about a week. Like really, and I, you know, then in my teen years did get bad acne,

but I was 11 at the time. You never looked like you had bad acne. Was that great makeup? That was great makeup and some virgin face. Because I've been walking around for years saying it's incredible none of them ever even got spots. Are you joking? No, no, no, no. I promise you, I kept saying,

how unlikely is that that we managed to cast three kids who go through adolescence on screen and they always have perfect skin? I think Rupert was the luckiest of wrong part of it good work vaughn uh basically talking about how he got a perfect none of that was the right bit oh he's talking about how he got spots on his nose no yeah he talked about how he got spots but i had an actual bit about how he had a perfectly round oh now it's an ad. It's a hair header perfectly hot on. Now I've got the bit.

I was actually allergic to the Harry Potter glasses because I had these two rings of white heads and spots that come up around my eyes. And it took us about a week to realise that it was actually the glasses. It's lucky night and risk believing signs, isn't it? Exactly. That's the same with me.

I'm allergic to like nickel and you get like a rash. You know the little domes on your jeans? They give me rashes. Yuck. Underneath. Because the domes go through to your skin. I have to paint nail polish on my domes. Not even joking.

On the inside of your jeans? Yeah, because if I wear jeans two days in a row, I get a little rash. But then what about your undies? Excuse me, undies? Your knickers? Your undies don't have, no, no, no, because girls wear

smaller undies. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Whereas guys, the undies would cover the... And you try and explain little rashy dots on your bum.

Yeah, it took me a while to figure out what that was. Yeah. I'd stumble on that one. Oh, cute. Me and Harry Potter have something in common.

Yeah, yeah, you've got to... So what, did they move to plastic? Yeah, no, they moved to a different metal that he wasn't allergic to. Okay. But the other thing he was talking about, the omens of Harry Potter, was that he had to have green eyes. Yep.

And he had to wear a form of contact lens. And he said the contact lenses gave him wild allergies as well. But they found that out before production. Right. Yeah, so none of that was on screen. So today's fact of the day is that Daniel Radcliffe was allergic to Harry Potter's glasses.

Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Hopefully other people listening to the show toot back. It's bringing the nation together, as always, ahead of a long weekend. It's that feeling we need heading into a long weekend, especially since they have been gone for like four months. We haven't had one for a long time. Since Queen's birthday. In fact, this year's been a bit short on long weekends. It has.

Now, this week we've been getting celebrities on board. We had Matoodles, Matilda Rice. Yeah, we've also had Marty Guptill. And today we're branching out into the media world. Celebrity world. Now, Mike Hosking works at Newstalk ZB above us. Now, he finishes around 8.30. And famously leaves work ASAP.

And he has a plethora of fancy pants cars. He does too. Because you park next to him, eh? I used to. He got moved. I don't think he liked being next to a 1998 Mazda. He didn't like being next to a Popo. He was scared I was going to ding his car

or something. Probably. So we're going to now ambush the hosk. And Producer Caitlin is standing by. Producer Caitlin, you're ready in the basement? Yes. I can't believe you're making me do this. I'm so nervous. You're so scary. But you've met him before, haven't you? Yeah ready in the basement yes i can't believe you're making me do this i'm so nervous he's so scary but you've met him before haven't you yeah and the lift and he looked at me like

weird like who are you and what are you doing the lift with me now you ambush the husky loves it okay uh so we've we've had reports now that he is uh about to exit the lift he's in the lift so you need to get him on his way to the car. Okay, okay. And be brave. Not like that time you went up to Rich McCoy and you bumbled your way and he thought you were... Yeah, I'm just running. Okay, I'm running up. Okay.

Excuse me, Mr. Hostage. Excuse me, hi. Hi, this is Fletchford and Megan. They just want to have a really quick... Hello? Hello, Mike. Who's this? It's Fletchford and Megan. Just literally... Fletchford and Megan. Hello? Hello, Mike. Who's this? It's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

Just literally. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Probably just straight above you, actually. If I was to drill a hole right down, we'd be on top of you, but usually it's you. Oh, the radio Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I know the radio Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, right?

Gotcha. So, lovely to speak to you, Mike. We're still working, because we work until 10. Still a little bit late. Right, well, I'm actually in quite a hurry. So if you can hurry this up because I'm heading out to my lifestyle block at Matakana. That sounds lovely too, by the way.

It does sound very nice. If you could join us just to show the nation the long weekend group too and your luxurious European automobile of choice at the moment, we'd be forever in your debt. Well, I'm not actually sure that this Porsche actually has a horn. Right, okay. I'm not even sure where it is. Okay.

You don't use the horn at all, Mike? No, you don't need to use the horn when you're driving a Porsche like this one. Let me have a look. What is this, some kind of low-level radio promotion? Is that what's going on? Lowest common denominator stuff. The lowest that it can be, Mike, yes. All right, let me find the horn here.

Where is it? Right in the middle of the steering wheel here. All right, here we go. Oh, that is a great horn. That's a great horn. Okay. That's a $325,000 horn. Okay, so how it goes is it goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

That's good. That's good. That's all right. That's all right. Close as we're getting, I think. That's all right. I just don't want to break the horn. Time is money for me.

Time is money. Well, that's all we require. We must keep moving. Yes. Say hi to Katie for us on the Lifestyle Block. Will do. Will do. All right.

See you later. We'll see you tomorrow. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. It's a weekday, it's a weekday. ZDM.