ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 18 2018

Episode Date: October 17, 2018

Richie McCaw is on the phone ahead of the Long Weekend Group Toot, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and what did you fall into?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Z-Dim. Z-Dim. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan from our Crush It! studio this morning after a fact of the day pub quiz last night.

Yes, good morning. You're hiding behind a computer screen, Vaughan. I can't see you. And you're very far away from me. Oh, I suppose you're always far away from me. Yeah, I'm actually closer today than I normally am. I can see all of Vaughan. Do you want a restraining order? Yeah.

Usually you're hidden under the desk. Now, this news about the tomato sauce, that is not a surprise. No. But I feel to a lot of people it would be because there's so much sugar, isn't there, in the tomato sauce? I get that. I get the half sugar one, but it kind of tastes a bit soupy. Yeah, because it's not. It's the sugar that makes it, isn't it?

Yeah. Because, you know, my, I'm not a tomato sauce fan, it's sweet chilli sauce. Oh, that thing is loaded with sugar. That's even worse. Yeah. That's sugar with sprinkles of chilli in it. Pretty much, yeah. That's sugar with sprinkles of chilli in it. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, it had all the signs of being high in sugar being called sweet chilli sauce.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, heck. Sorry that you had to go through this today. Well, you want a way to start the day. Yeah. Well, if you're eating chippies and, like, fish and chips and stuff, you're not really, like, too worried about... Well, no, because of the fat in the chips and...

Oh, we're all just, who cares, eh? You're having a blowout. Yeah. But what are the options? What are your other options? Oh, nothing. Mayonnaise? Because my mum makes a runny homemade sauce.

She wouldn't be putting too much sugar in that. She'd probably put artificial sweetener in it instead. So just brain lesions rather than an extra size in the pants. You can't win. All right, you lot, listen pants. You can't win. Alright you lot listen up it's story time. Story time

three news headlines for three interesting unusual weird odd news stories that I've found. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three.

77 pack draws criticism. Headline two four year old helps police. Okay. And, four-year-old helps police. Okay. And headline three, police respond to booby trap. Ooh. Is the boobies, we're talking actual boobies?

No. Oh, it is actually a booby trap. A booby trap, yeah. It's not breasts. No. Okay. Four-year-old helps police. Yeah.

You like that? Yeah. Is it a cute story? No, I helps police. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. Is it a cute story? No, I think so. Okay. Unless the four-year-old is a four-year-old drug dog. No, it's not. It's human.

Okay. I'm down for that one. We're going that one? Yeah. All right, we go now to Greensburg in Pennsylvania in America where a fugitive was no match for a four-year-old. Sheriff's deputies were searching for a 24-year-old man, Jesse Vaughn Lawson. Vaughn with no A, Vaughn, at the end.

Just V-H-A-G. V-A-U-G-H-N. Yeah, that's the one. I do know how to spell your name. They were searching for Jesse Vaughn Lawson. An arrest warrant was out for burglary and receiving stolen property. So they decided to check at an apartment where his girlfriend was. And they said, hey, look, we're looking for Jesse Vaughn Lawson.

Do you know where he is? And she's like, I haven't seen him. And that's when the four-year-old was like, oh, I know where he is. Come with me. I'll show you. And led police to the deputies to an electrical closet. I'm assuming the hot water cupboard. Sure, yeah. That's what we'd call it here in New Zealand where he was hiding.

And police arrested him. And now he's facing additional charges of avoiding apprehension. Oh, no. Yeah. But all because of the four-year Oh, no. Yeah. Drunk right, isn't it? All because of the four-year-old. Help them out. But that's why you,

because you say you don't tell your kids, don't tell mum. Is that what you say? They immediately want to. But it's like anybody. That's not just kids. If you say don't to somebody, and you're not supposed to say don't do this, are you?

It would be better If this was not done Or something like that Yeah but you can't say to a kid I'd really prefer it If you didn't say Can you Or do they understand that Maybe not at four

Like formally request That you don't tell mum That I'm buying you a happy meal I am putting in a formal request That what is about to happen Stays between you and I They're like Dad put in a formal request

I know where he is He put in a formal request. I know where he is. He put in a formal request. Did I not tell you that he's in the hot water cupboard? Come with me. I'll show you where it is. I'm going to hit you with some stats now because Facebook, Google and Twitter, they were called before the Science and Technology Committee to show how they were tackling offensive content from all aspects.

So fake news, hate speech, terrorist content, stuff involving children. And they have said they were forced to delete more than 30 million posts in three months. Wow. You imagine having to actually sit down and... Well, remember we talked about the people who started working for Facebook and their job was to moderate reported comments.

And they said they all had post-traumatic stress disorder. Because there's that woman suing them for PTSD. Because she said she was in no way trained, she was in no way supported during or looked after when she said it was all becoming a bit too much. So the UK public policy manager for Facebook has admitted they removed 20 million images just of adult nudity in the first three months of the year.

But what kind of stuff are people putting up? Because that's nudity on Facebook. So that's anything with a nip. Yeah. Anything with a doodle. Yeah, doodles are still classed as nudity. Doodles. In 2019. Bumps.

Is there people who like nude, like when would you put up on Facebook or Instagram a nude picture? Like if you're topless sunbathing? Or you're wearing a dress and it's too revealing? I've seen a few lately where I think people are just testing whether or not the nipple's still as offensive

as it once was. You remember the whole free the nipple situation? Yeah. But people are just getting the subtle nipple in there now. Yeah. Subtle nipple. Yeah. And then there were three million posts

that were deleted under hate speech between January and March. They've upped that. That's half a million more than the previous quarter. So apparently they've employed 20,000 or they're promising to have 20,000 employees looking after the global content.

20,000 people. We need to be deleting those. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's still a hell of a lot each. Wow. Okay. Well, just from us, knock off the hate speech. Well, yeah, that'd be nice, wouldn't it? I like to think people that listen to the show probably aren't too hate speechy.

Aren't stump commenters. Yeah. Yeah. They don't get involved in too much. Putting hateful status updates on their Facebook. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I like to think the people listening are probably more likely to chuck a nip.

Oh, yeah. Rock a rogue nip. Free the nip. All about that. When did a nip start a war? I ask you. Oh, that's Rock a rogue nip. Free the nip. All about that. When did a nip start a war? I ask you. Oh, that's all of us thinking. I'm just saying.

That silence. I can't think of any wars started by nipples. Religion, plenty. Racism, heaps. Nipples, no. Zero. World War I, no. That was the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

And the nipple. Was he shot in the nipple, was he? Was he? Historians will tell you he was. Right. If he'd just been shot in the face, it probably would have been a stern telling off, but because it was through the nipple.

They felt like, ouch. Right, that's it. War time. Yeah, yeah. Okay. We're starting a war. We are. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices.

Hello. And welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Most of us belong to our neighbourhood's Facebook page just so when there's a mysterious noise or anything that we find suspicious, we can immediately jump on there and assume the worst.

Yeah. And start pointing some fingers. Well, it's a mystery noise that has Leisha, Lisa? Lisa? With another E in there. It's like Lisa, but it's got an E in it. Lisa? Posting on the Otago Flat and Goods page.

Okay, this is seriously not a complaint. More just curious. But who the hell lives in Delmore and screams Yahoo really loudly every night between 9 and 10pm? You yell so loudly that my cats wake up in fright.

Now, is this the same area of town where, what was that electricity provider that does an hour of power? An hour of free power and it was making the local lines overload. So you're saying that they're yahooing because they've got the power. They've just got everything

on in their house and it's so exciting for them. They're yahooing. And that signals to the rest of the house that it's free power time. Yes. Yeah, that could be a good reason. But, in the comments of this post by Lisa, Harvest, that's this person's name, Harvest, asks a question, follow-up question, who lives in Woodhore and has been sneezing really loudly

like a dad loud recently outside? To which Chris replies, sorry about that, I am a very vocal sneezer. So that issue's resolved, that sub-issue. Right, is he being made to go outside by like the girlfriend or the wife? Well, there might be

this time of the year hay fever related sneezing. So when he walks outside from inside, he's hit with the pollen and immediately sneezes. But he sneezes very loudly and it's freaking out harvest.

Okay. But from what I can see, Leisha's quest to find out who's yelling Yahoo every night remains unsolved. Hmm, okay. Remains unsolved. That's annoying.

I would need to know now. Yes. Keeping up with the Kiwis is another Facebook page. And Jasmine writes on there, I'm just very curious, can anyone tell me of any good power companies that accept people with bad credit? There's a few serious suggestions. And then somebody says, might I suggest Black Power? They accepted my uncle and had a lifetime of exceptionally poor credit.

That's good from you. Good from them. That's good. Good from you. Next up, it's down to Balcluth. Here we go. Okay. Of course, home of the big river, Bill English, and that's all.

That's all, yeah. Catherine writes on there, on the Balcoota sell, swap, and buy page, found these forks at the skate park. Now, there's a set of four identical forks there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, lovely. And she says, anyone know who they belong to? Happy to get them back to the owner.

If I was to describe these forks, I'd say they're a four-pronged. Yep. Stainless steel. Fairly standard-looking fork. Yeah. Very standard-looking fork. Very standard-looking. From Bell Closet to Mount Maunganui Notice Board,

Catherine has a plant going. Described as a free spiky bastard plant. Official name, the Sago Palm. This thing has been scratching my husband's legs for five years now and I'm getting bored of his complaining. I've just checked and apparently they cost $100 at a garden centre, although God knows why they're awful.

It's just had a haircut, so it's a bit asymmetrical, but the hateful thing will be back to its glorious leg-destroying best before you know it. You'll need to dig it up, though, and ideally collect it this evening. Bring gloves and or a suit of armour. And I know my parents have got these. Oh, that's a horrible looking thing. They are sharp as hell.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't want that. But isn't it outside? Yeah, but you've always got to squeeze past. My parents have got it beside where, like, if Mum's taking you into town and you get back and you have to open Mum's garage door because they won't get an automatic garage door opener. You have to get out and she's too close on that side and you scratch yourself on the Sago plant.

I'm awful getting rid of them. They are bloody awful. Let's go to the Massey community page. Now, this is Massey, West Auckland Massey. Rhonda's got an issue. Our entire household was woken up at 4.45am this morning by some lady pooing on our front lawn.

What? Inside the gate. Wait, was she making a noise? How were they woken up? Very good call. I don't know. Maybe they heard

the gate open. The gate. Maybe a security light went on. Maybe the dog barked. Bloody gross some people in the neighbourhood.

I'm on Waimumu. I've just realised that Waimumu sounds like Waipupu. Waipupu on my lawn? Well, Waimumu. But she is after an answer as to who was the person that took a dump on her lawn at 4.45. That's so grim, eh? 4.45. But guess what?

On a Wednesday morning. Is it a runner? That's a maybe because you know those instance those Australian

phantom poopers most of them were runners but would you go onto someone's lawn I'd use a park a public park yeah I think in a whole two you go to a park

wouldn't it happen on somebody's I mean I've never done it that sounded like I've done it you sound like you've at least planned what you'd do. Well, you know, if you do a lot of running, like, because you got caught out training for the marathon. Yeah, a few times.

Sometimes it just hits, Megan. Yeah. You've got no option. That's very true. Now, we're in Christchurch today, so we'll finish up on a Christchurch page post. This is from the Rolleston community page. Tom writes,

I'm just sick of all the trolls and catfishes on Tinder these days. Where are all the down-to-earth Rolleston girls interested in a coffee this weekend that hopefully lead to other activities, e.g. mini golf? I was not expecting that. No, that's all he writes. So if you're a Rolleston girl and you like coffee and also activities, like Christian youth group activities by the sounds of things, rather than deviant activities, which I'm sure Tinder is full of.

Hit up Tom. Yep. Hit up Tom, he's on Tinder. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to Wales. We're FVMZM on Facebook. FVM, the podcast.

FVM. So, great news for me and other hot sauce aficionados is that hot sauce is going to be keeping you alive. It leads to a healthier lifestyle and diet. So, the active ingredient in the peppers. Chili. Oh, yeah. Caps.

It looks like capsicum a little bit. I think it's also the stuff that's in pepper spray. So if you're like regularly maced by the police, that could actually be good. Well, if it goes in your eyes, does it go in your bloodstream? Again, well, that's the quickest way to the bloodstream. Oh, yeah. That or mace straight up the butt. Shelves and mace you should be all right.

So you were talking about hot sauce that's not like full of sugar. No, no, no, no. It's just. It's like actual hot sauce. it's not like full of sugar. No, no, no, no. It's just... Like actual hot sauce. Okay. Tabasco. Oh, so not that tub that you bought the other day. What tub did I buy of hot sauce?

That big one that cost $10. Oh, that sriracha sauce? Yeah. No, that's got that in it. I mean, that's got a lot of other stuff in it. That's got some delicious sugars and stuff, but... Yeah, that was a big tub. Yeah.

It wasn't a tub. It was a bottle. It was a bottle, Megan. A bottle. Why are you calling it a tub? I'm imagining margarine. No, that was a big tub. Yeah. Was it a tub or was it a bottle? It was a bottle, Megan. A bottle. Why are you calling it a tub? I'm imagining margarine. No, but it's like a massive bottle. It's a massive bottle.

It's a big bottle. Get through that. Well, it's got anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and cancer-fighting properties. And hot sauce, people use hot sauce because it speeds up your metabolism too. Yes. It's good for getting you moving. So there was a study that looked at the health and diets of half a million Chinese adults and those who ate spicy foods three to seven times a week lived longer

and had a reduced risk of dying from cancer, heart disease and respiratory disease by 14%. Because you're good with your hot sauces. Love it. You've got a good tolerance. Love it. But I had a tie the other night. It was a medium. And boy, oh boy. You had a medium. I had a Thai the other night. It was a medium. And boy, oh boy.

You had a medium. I had a medium. That's branching out for you. And next day, I don't know if it was booze poos or the Thai, but it wasn't pleasant. Right. Because you have sweet chilli and that's not really. Yeah, that's what I normally do, sweet chilli. So a New Zealander also at the heart of this research,

David Popovich, who is at Massey University, he said that... David Jalapeno Popovich. Sorry. Carry on. Well, I'm sure he won't be liking what you've done to his name. Yeah, you're making fun of his last name. I mean, there are probably Croatians listening right now

that are wildly offended. But it's a fat soluble molecule. So it can absorb more of the capsicum, the stuff that's the anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant, cancer-fighting one when it's eaten with fat, which is

further great news, meaning you put hot sauce on your wangs or your chaps, and you're totally doing it for your own health. Well, I mean. Great news. Deep fried wangs are kind of cancelling out the good that the hot sauce is doing. Well, I just want them to neutralise everything on our habitat.

Eat lots of wangs and lots of hot sauce. But it actually works better in getting into your body than it does if you eat it with, like, vegetables. So the key for a summer bod is Tabasco sauce on everything. And wings. Yeah. A long... For summer.

Yeah, to see lots of summers as well. The Top 6 with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Welcome to The Top 6. Our today's Top 6,

the Top 6 things that you missed on YouTube when it was down yesterday. Still don't have a cause. Like what caused the YouTube outage and I don missed on YouTube when it was down yesterday. Still don't have a cause. Like what caused the YouTube outage? And I don't know how long it was out for. We were busy.

They would have lost a lot of money. Because you know when Facebook even goes down for like five minutes, they're like, it was millions down the drain. I just imagine we'll all be forced to digest a few unskippable ads at the start of YouTube content next time we're there. And they'll be back on their feet in no time. But what about YouTubers who make money off that? Do they get compensation, or can they serve them or anything?

No, I think they get tough titties, to be totally honest. So the top six clips you missed on YouTube yesterday, but it was down number six. The latest Boston Dynamics robot video, where a robot boosts it up an uneven set of stairs. And then they've got another one that looks like a dog and it dances to Bruno Mars, but one day it will hunt us down and eat our bones for energy. Boston Dynamics need us. Stop it. They need us.

Stop. Because these robots are going to take over the world. The one that ran up uneven stairs, they even put its arms out like a human to get itself a bit of extra. Yeah, it was scary. They keep getting more realistic every time they release a video. They do the scary ones like that, but then they do the cute ones like this dog one that's actually even got a head. Yeah, and it shakes. Yeah.

It can grab things. It danced to Bruno Mars, and then we're supposed to be like, yay, cute robots. But no, they're going to kill us. They'll be our overlords one day. They will be. I, for one, welcome our robot overlords. I shan't put up much resistance at all. Stop greasing up to the robot overlords.

They're not going to save you. Can you brown nose a robot? No. Technically, it doesn't have a butthole, so I don't know if the brown nosing is the appropriate metaphor. Silver nose. Chrome nose. Chrome nose.

Stop chrome nosing the new robot boss. Number five on the list of the top six clips you missed on YouTube, you said when it was down, a new ASMR video where an attractive person whispers softly in the rain and makes you feel funny inside. Those are weird, man. I like them. People are really into them, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah. I don't like the eating ones so much Yeah I like the The talking ones And the atmospheric ones Oh that's good stuff Number four on the list

Of the top six clips You missed on YouTube Yesterday when it was down An inspirational chat From a celebrity Who has to remember What it was like to be poor 25 years ago

Just to tell you That money can't buy happiness But to keep working really hard anyway. Yeah. Who inspired that? Will Smith. I've noticed

Will Smith's been doing a bit of it like for like the last way however many years. He's feeling reflective. Yeah. But I assume

every other, you know, on Facebook you see like your auntie shares an inspirational quote attributed to a celebrity. You're like,

they never said that. Yeah, no. They never said that. Someone just wanted to get lots of shares on Facebook you say your auntie shares an inspirational quote attributed to a celebrity. You're like, they never said that. Yeah, no. They never said that. Someone just wanted to get lots of shares on Facebook. Yeah, so they made it up. Just made it up and tagged it to a celebrity's picture. Number three on the list of the top six clips you missed yesterday on YouTube when it was down. A clip of teenagers reacting to something from the past that they have no idea about

because they were born after that thing was popular. It could have been 90s snacks. It could have been out-of-date technology. It might have even been 1980s music. Those darn kids, they don't know what this thing is that was from before they were born. Oh, look at their little faces. They're reacting. One of them knows about it.

He thinks he's better than the rest of the kids. Number two on the list of the top six clips you missed on YouTube yesterday when it was down, an unboxing video. Oh. What you got in that box there, YouTube person? I know you know, don't act surprised. Oh, it was makeup all along, and now you're telling me how to put it on my face.

And I've been watching for 25 minutes. Oh, you got me again. What's that? You've got another box? Tell me what's in it. I've got a couple of minutes spare. And the number one type of clip you missed on YouTube yesterday when it was down

on today's top six is a family going about their day that the mum films and then edits and uploads that my children would rather watch than literally spending the day with their real family. And it hurts a little bit and then they start to have a little bit. Yeah. Then they start to have a little bit of an accent

and you're like, please stop. Oh, I'm your father, not that guy. That is today's top six. Want to talk now about when you've fallen into something

because a woman in China, this is in a shopping centre. So in the shopping centre, they have a shark tank. Like that, what's that mall we went to in Dubai? They had a huge aquarium. And an ice rink.

Dubai's just crazy as it is. Oh, and that other mall, that had that ski, like, snow planet. Yeah, in the middle of the mall. Inside the ski field. And penguins in the mall. That was bizarre. So in this mall, they have a big shark tank where it's for visuals. You can just walk around the mall and see the sharks.

They have lemon sharks inside, which sound really cute. What's a lemon shark? So they sound really cute, but I think they're called lemon sharks because they're a little bit yellow. But they can grow like three. Like a lemon. Yeah. They can grow bigger than three meters, and they can be aggressive to humans.

And they've got these in like a Westfield. I know it's not a Westfields mall, but like a Westfield. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So this woman, it turns out this was before the mall was open. She's an employee, and she was late for a meeting. Yeah.

So they have the shark tank, and there is a little shortcut above the shark tank that has a boardwalk or like a gangplank. But it's glass, isn't it, by the looks of this video? Yeah, so you should be able to walk across it. Now, because it was before the mall opened, they had opened the shark tank and it was feeding time. She didn't know that and she was running late for this meeting. So this video shows her running across and she's like, I'm going to take this gangplank across the shark tank as a shortcut. And that's when she falls in.

To the shark tank. During feeding time. Now, was it a happy ending? It was a happy ending. Two security guards actually just jumped in and pulled her out. Okay, I wouldn't jump in. Nah, so I'd be like, you swim here and I'll pull you out. I mean, there's

no sense in all of us being eaten. You've made a stupid mistake. It sounds scary that it was during feeding time, but it may have

distracted them. Well, they were already eating. They were already eating. Yeah. And they just had some straight

up fish. They would have had to eat through her clothes to get to the good stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. But I mean, probably not even the sharks that caused her the most damage. She just like KO'd herself on the way down. Well, she. But I mean, probably not even the sharks that caused her the most damage. She just like KO'd herself on the way down.

Well, she's lucky she didn't start bleeding profusely because that would have attracted the sharks. Yeah. Because they can smell like a drop. Is that just urban legend?

No, they can. They've evolved to smell blood. Yeah. A small drop. A small drop of blood in a million parts of water or something.

The equivalent. So they're able to sniff it out. She's okay. so we can laugh. But I would like to know when you've fallen into something. Because you see people like YouTube videos and stuff of people falling into like manholes with no covers on them. Yeah. That has to have happened.

Where do you go? Do you just hit the bottom of the sewer or something? Down a hole. Down a hole. It's just a never-ending gap. It goes through to hit the bottom of the sewer or something? Down a hole. Yeah. Down the hole. It's just a never-ending gap. It goes through to the other side of the world. Really?

Yeah. I fell into a... When I was a kid, I fell into a water tank on the farm. We were always told never to go on top of them. We were always told don't go near them, don't touch the lid, stay off them. Like, even being on top of them could collapse it, and then you'll be in there and you'll... No one will know. Not listening. Yeah. And mucking around and fell in and didn't know how it was going to get out in there and you'll but not listening and mucking around

and fell in and didn't know how I was going to get out. But did you not see the hole? No, no, no. I was on the top looking in the hole and I fell in.

What did you think was in there? Water. Okay. Yeah. But I just wanted to see what it was like and it sounded weird so I was sticking my head

into me like, hello? And I was like, hello? And I was like, ah, that sounds, whoa. And I fell in. And how did you get out?

My brother pulled me out. He could have left me there to drown. He could have left me there to die. Because that's the thing. If it would have been full, you could have floated to the top and grabbed. But it was only half empty. Oh, my God. Half full.

So, yeah, the water's down not high enough to float up and grab the room and pull yourself out. Right. But I like the stories more where you didn't see the hole. No, you just straight up fell in something. And you just fell in. Fell in. Okay, well, let's take some calls. 0800 DALZITM 9696.

What did you fall into? Goodness. I was going to say, like, a vat. Because there's that person that fell in overseas. Do you remember last year they fell into like Was it a chocolate or a lolly vat? But it was real hot and they died That was some funny stories

We don't want stories like that Because everyone thinks it's Augustus Glump From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Everyone's like ah that'll be fun But no it'll burn you Alright well what did you fall into? Give us a call You can text 9696

We're talking about what you fell into A woman was taking A shortcut at work Across the boardwalk Above a shark tank And she went She fell into the shark tank She didn't die No she got pulled out

She was sore You know We need better malls Because like This mall has a shark tank Yeah Like you go to Westfield It's just another muffin break

Or you know Another Sous-Pres or something I don't know But you can eat A muffin break You can't eat know, another soup ray or something. I don't know. But you can eat a muffin break. You can't eat it. Well, you can eat a shark, but they'd probably be frowned upon if you dropped the fishing line in. Just thinking, like, they're building all these new malls and doing heaps of renos. Yeah. You reckon get a

shark tank in. Shark tank or a roller coaster. Or I've said it before, slides from the top level down to the bottom. Why aren't we doing that? I know. Exactly. Or like a tram system around the bottom. Why aren't we doing that? I know. Exactly. Or like a tram system around the mall because I just sit on that. While your wife's shopping. Yeah, just go for a ride around the mall endlessly.

So what have you fallen into is what we've asked this morning. Some text messages in on this. Somebody said, my sister said, I bet I can stand on the crust of that washout pit from a pig pen. So that's where all the poos gets washed away, like an effluent pond. And it had a hard crust on it. So they hit it with a stick and she's like,

I bet that will hold my weight. Stood on it, disappeared over her head. Is that poos water? Yeah. You couldn't shower for an hour and you'd still, you could smell after it.

Well, that's the other thing. People saying they were running on a farm and they weren't watching where they were going. They came up over the crest of what they just thought was a hill,

but it was the barrier of the effluent and fell into the effluent pond. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's grim. And then they said there's no amount of showering that can get that out. Somebody else said they fell in a cesspit in China, in rural China.

A cesspit, another place where all the poo's and everything goes. This may have even been human, though. And it tainted all of my jewellery. What? So I don't know what was in it, but it ruined all of the jewellery. The smell was coming out of my skin for days. Wow. Lisa has called through.

Lisa, what did you fall in? I was at a wedding. And being English, it was at a church. It was all hats and all smart. And we went outside for the photographs. And I was running to get to the photographs, and I fell down a grave and broke my leg. Oh, my God. Like, was it an open hole the photograph, and I fell down a grave and broke my leg. Oh, my God.

Like, was it an open hole? Yeah, it was open. Didn't see it. I was too focused on the wedding. Went straight down it. Oh, my God. But this should have been coned off. Generally, if they dig one, there's a massive pile of dirt, and they've got cones and stuff around it.

Yeah, but I wasn't focused on that. I wanted to be in the photograph. I'm just running. Do you road cone a cemetery, though? Like, that's a bit weird. Like that's odd. This was 30 years ago before health and safety came into force and it was just like

yeah. People talk about the good old days. They always forget how easily people were like messing themselves up. I wanted to be on those photographs with my hat so I was running, running, running, running, gone. Lisa, thanks for your call.

Jane, what did you fall into, Jane? Hi, hi. Hi. When I was about 10, my brother was into all his war games and stuff like that, and he must have built a trench or something that I did not see. And went in and did cartwheels as you do when you're a girl and you're 10 and

yeah, landed straight in one and did my ankle real bad, fractured it. Right, did he while you were lying there fractured come up and shoot you and win the war? No, no, he was just inside playing video games at that stage. Oh, right, so he dug a hole and then he's like,

actually, I could go inside and do this without having to do any digging. And then he went. Just to leave you to hurt yourself. Thanks, you're cool, Jane. My dad, we were having our sewage tank cleaned out. Oh, no. And the guy, just before he left, said to my dad, make sure that lid's on properly.

So dad put the lid on and jumped on the lid to make sure it was proper. Except when he jumped on it, the lid slid out and dad fell into the sewage tank and could not get out. He had to wait for hours down there until mum came home and could put a ladder in so he could get out. It was just too tall for him to jump on and get out. Was it empty?

It had been treated, they said. So maybe a bit had been taken off the top. But there must have been a little bit of poo-poos left in there. Would you rather fall in that or a shark tank? A shark tank. A shark tank. What kind of sharks? They've just been fed.

Shark tank. Oh, they've just been fed. They're all good. They're full. Exhilarating. Yeah. Exhilarating. And it's on camera.

This was you're in the poos. Yeah. Somebody said, me and my mate were boosting it through the bush chasing a pig. We were hunting and then he just disappeared. Oh. Just right in front of me.

Just disappeared. He fell down a sinkhole. It was full of water which was kind of lucky because he floated. Otherwise he would have been gone. He would have been like

God knows how far down the sinkhole goes. Imagine you fall down like a well or like a cave. Yeah. Immediately though when I'm floating in that water, I'm like, what's in here with me?

Sharks. What kind of bugs? Bush sharks. Bush sharks. Native bush sharks. Okay. Yeah, New Zealand native bush sharks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're very, very rare, but they'd totally be in that hole you just fell into. They would be. Somebody said when we were in Miami, this guy was running from the police and he launched himself over a fence. I'm imagining he just thought that he was just jumping a fence. What he did was jump straight over into an alligator pond that was fenced off to keep the alligators in and the people out.

And he fell into the water and wildly started panicking as the police kind of had a good little bit of a laugh. That's swift justice. Natural justice. Swift karma. Isn't it? FEM. FEM. Let me set the scene for laugh. Swift justice. Natural justice. Swift karma. Isn't it? FEM. ZM.

Let me set the scene for you. Here on Christchurch. Here we go. Last night here on Christchurch. Went down to Cleaver and Co. We had the Fact of the Day pub quiz last night. Thanks for having us. And if you'd like to come to Tauranga's Fact of the Day,

it's under the win section of the ZM website, zmom.com. Register now. So that's a couple of weeks away. It's going to be the eve of Halloween, and we are going to be Halloween themed. Halloween themed. So wear a witch's hat.

Now, we arrived before the quiz. We got some dinner. Yeah. When we were having some dinner, someone Fletch knows approaches Fletch. Hey, how are you, mate? Good to see you. Good to see you.

Now, we're all pretty close, sat within... Proximity. Two metres away from each other. Hey, how are you mate? Good to see you Good to see you Now, we're all pretty close Within Proximity Two metres away from each other Max And that's in a square Here we go Two square metres

Two square metres Well, four square metres Two metres You're close enough But you're eating dinner We're all together Yeah, we're all together Now, Fletch is like

This is Caitlin To the friend that rocks up. This is Caitlin. Oh, hi, Caitlin. And I've seen you in so-and-so's Instagram and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm going to be next. I know.

I was poised. I didn't take another mouthful because I was like, I'm going to have to speak. Me neither because I was like, I left my drink to the side. And I was like, well, I don't want to have a drink because I don't want to do that to the side i was like well i don't want to have a drink because i don't know that awkward thing where i'm like excuse me hey hey how are you nice to meet you so i did and i just sat there uh and then um i waited an introduction and it didn't happen straight away and i thought well that's all right because this this person's talking to caitlin and and obviously they've got some sort of mutual connection and I thought, but it's coming.

This introduction's coming. I have one of my best friends and I've known him for like 14 and a half years. Oh, you've got the best friend. Yeah, I've never met this person. Surely an introduction's coming. And Megan's sitting there.

Poised also. Poised. Waiting. Leaning slightly more forward than one would in a relaxed lean back position. Yeah. Waiting for the introduction. Another 20 seconds passes and no introductions have been made.

Then another minute passes and no introductions have been made. The conversation is flowing thick and fast, but no introductions are being made towards our way. And then it ends with, all right, well, I'll catch up with you during the quiz. And the person says, nice to meet you, Caitlin. Yeah, nice to meet you, Caitlin. And walks away. Fletch. And literally walks inside the door shuts and we're like, what the hell was that?

I was like, what? No introduction. You didn't need an introduction. The person walks away, nice to meet you, Caitlin. Megan and I look at each other and Bluetooth each other a message. It's just like, what? We're obviously going to have to say something. So I didn't introduce you.

So I introduced Caitlin because same circle of friends. Like Caitlin's friends with all of his friends, and I know him. Yeah, that's fine. But you don't know him, although we... No, and we still don't. Why would you get it to be introduced?

And we still don't. But I was just saving you time. You guys were eating. You don't need to meet him. If you may have noticed, we had paused our eating. Paused. Caitlin's the only one that knows him.

Well, she does now. She's the only one that knows him because she was the only one that was introduced. Caitlin, as does now. She's the only one that knows him because she was the only one that was introduced. Caitlin, as the person, the only person in the party that was introduced, how did you feel about it all? Well, obviously I'm the fun one. And, like, you need to... Was that why you introduced me?

No, because of the mutual group of friends. Because of the mutual group of friends. Yeah, right. Well, I didn't know who he was. But I really appreciate you introducing me. Put on Vaughn and Megan's shoes here for a moment. You wouldn't like it

if everyone... Well, no, I was about to... I thought something was off, so I was about to introduce you guys, but then I was like, hang on a minute, I don't need to be introduced.

That's not your place to introduce. That don't need to be introduced. Yeah. You never know. And also, I couldn't remember his name because I'd just met him,

so I couldn't be like, this is... Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah, no, it was... The whole thing was just... It was poor. Poor for me.

Poor for... Just rude. I'm just blown away at how many times we have to, like, give you etiquette advice. But I'm... Situations. I'm thinking about it from my perspective. If I'm eating dinner and one of your friends comes up, I don't care about... I'm eating my wings.

Okay, we ran into a guy I knew yesterday. Adrian. Yeah. He was knocked. That's right. He knocked on the window when we were getting scooters. And I was like, Adrian. And he came out.

I was like, oh, this is Fletcher Megan. He's like, hey, nice to meet you guys. Now, that was all that was required. But I wouldn't have cared if you didn't introduce me to Adrian. I would have. I couldn't have had him standing there when you guys were within spitting distance and not introduced. It's also polite for your friend to be introduced to everyone in the situation.

No, but I'm saving you time. Like, you don't need to meet all these people you're never going to see again. Do you? No, but we did see them again after the quiz. But then we had an awkward walk home because I'd never actually formally been introduced. Yeah, but you connected then during the walk home. Too late! Right.

Too late! Introdu. Too late. Introductions have been sullied. I'm never seeing your friend Adrian. You might see Adrian again and you'll be like, oh, Adrian? That face looks familiar. I wish I'd been introduced to him. Yeah. But I was.

But you were introduced to him. I'm just trying to save time. My worst part about introducing is I continually introduce people that already know each other. I'm like, oh, have you met so-and-so? Yeah, for years ago. For the 14th time. Yeah, okay, cool, cool. Just making sure.

Better to check, Vaughan. Better to check. Better to check. Yeah. Okay. Because I just seem like forgetful and slightly Alzheimer. You just seem like an A-hole. Fletch.

Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. Well, we talked about it before we came down to Christchurch. Christchurch and Auckland at the start of the week got a new service called Lime Scooters, Lime Rides. What are they called? Lime S. Lime S.

They do a few things, I think. But yeah, the scooters are the ones who've dropped in Christchurch and Auckland. I don't know why the other big cities have missed out. I think like around Hamilton, Wellington, these would be great. Yeah. Maybe still to come. Yeah, I'm sure they'll roll out. Still to come and there's a big river in Hamilton and I'm from there

and I'd probably want to do a jump on the scooter into the river. So that's probably why not. So for those that don't know. They haven't had their first weekend yet though. Like Auckland. True. Yesterday people on Christchurch saying those are just going to end up in the Avon. And I was like, stop throwing things

in the Avon. So for those that don't know, electric scooters, you download the app, you scan the QR code, and you give them your credit card, and it costs a dollar to unlock and 30 cents a K. There are onzo bikes for people who think they want to look cool and don't want to have to do anything.

Yeah, like pedal. Yeah. Like pebble. They go 30k's. Now, Christchurch is the perfect city for it because it's so flat. Yeah. Or like, yeah, it's a real blow to the ego when you go to go up a hill in Auckland and it goes, oh, and it starts slowing down. Although, you kick a little bit and it kicks in a bit more. Yeah.

You can't just stand on them. But I see previous statement where I didn't want to have to do anything. True, yeah. So we are hunted. And I tell you what where I didn't want to have to do anything. True, yeah. So we hunted, and I tell you what, we weren't the only people hunting them in Christchurch yesterday. Basically on the app it shows you where the closest one is. As we approached them, for the first half an hour, people were snaffling them right in front of our faces.

Because people were doing the same thing, just running around just trying to find them. Yeah. So we actually had to split up. We ended up finding them, and then when we found them, we reconvened. And then there was the three of us, which one of Megan. And then James and Caitlin went further afield.

They had to go to Phillipstown, I believe. James had to get his. Was that in Phillipstown? That was on the border of Phillipstown, eh? Yeah. Yeah, so James, pretty much like a pirate, ventured to the edge of the world there. And then we reconvened.

And what a lot of fun we had. Until Megan's ran out of batteries. It only had two bars when I got it. Yeah. And then you were like, oh, there's another one. I'll stop and get that. So you ditched my one.

You ditched your one. And then this other one's like, oh, I haven't got enough batteries to go anywhere. So you try to get back on your original one. It's like, oh, I've also got no batteries.

That's the only thing is you don't know it's got enough batteries until you go to scan it and then it's like, I've also got no batteries that's the only thing is you don't know it's got enough batteries until you go to scan it and then it's like you can't use this yeah so Megan didn't want

to double with me which I found very offensive but Caitlin did I'm not great on my own I didn't fancy my chances doubling

so Caitlin and I pushed the limits of the scooter and I tell you what you guys it handled you oh yeah it did I know

yeah I don't want to ask How much you weigh Caitlin No don't But I mean There would have been Well I'm like 85kg So there easily would have been Over 120

Caitlin's like 60 So Oh that's so nice Which I'm definitely not 60 So there was like Well over 120kgs on it Yeah Because somebody

Saw that video And said I'm just wondering How much you guys weigh Because I'm 140kgs Would it pull me And I said I don't think it would Yeah. Because somebody saw that video and said, I'm just wondering how much you guys weigh, because I'm 140kgs, would it pull me? And I said, I don't think it would. Yeah. I think it would. Yeah, it would. We doubled around. Go watch the tram

lines in Christchurch, though. The back wheels like to scoot into those when you've got a bit of weight on them. And we had to kind of like lean forward a bit to go up the hill. Yeah, and that tradie called us effing idiots. Oh, yeah. Apologies. We were on the road. It was, I just felt like it was the safest place to be.

And it was good because I could look behind us and you, while, like, to see if there was anyone coming. Yeah. While you were, like,

I was your rear vision mirror. Yeah, yeah. Because I couldn't turn around. They're great fun though. Oh, they're so much fun. Give it a hoon sometime. God,

I went 19. Is that 19Ks? 19Ks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so fast. That's alive. We had to wait at intersections for Megan to catch up.

Oh, you were a little bit scary. The first half an hour was basically, and stop and wait. Stop and wait. You guys are there for me for dead, but it's scary because they do go super fast, and I'm not wearing a helmet. We didn't get to Hagley Park, though.

That's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to do a loop of Hagley Park so next time for sure. Well, you asked for it. You set the challenge and I said he was busy and he wasn't getting back to me but I can confirm today live from his helicopter, ex-All Blacks captain Richie McCaw. Yes, welcome to the show.

How are you, Richie? Oh, yeah. So, Richie, any plans for the long weekend? Are you going to go away? Uh, yeah. Okay, okay. Where about? Uh...

Just maybe decide at the weekend. But that's the thing about having a helicopter is you can kind of decide last minute, hey? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, well, Richie, let's hear the long weekend group toot from you.

In fact, do helicopters even have horns? Uh, yeah. Um, have you ever participated in the long weekend group toot before? Uh, no. Okay. Okay. Have you ever participated in the Long Weekend Group 2 before? No. OK. Do you know how it works? Yeah. OK. Well, when you're ready, give us the Long Weekend Group 2.

Nice. Yes! Perfect. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that'll do. That'll do. Bloody beauty. Does that feel better than when you won the World Cup that time? Oh, yeah.

Not your most convincing yeah. No. But that's okay. We understand. There we go. Well, he's on board for the long weekend group too. Richie McCall, thank you so much. So whereabouts are you off to today?

Yonder. You're off Yonder. Yeah. Decide when you get there. Yeah, good. All right. Richie McCall, thank you so much. All right, yeah.

FEM. FEM. Now the time. Megan was called effing useless. So I used to work in a cafeteria. Oh, am I telling the story now? Should we give a little bit of... No, you need to give a background.

Okay, a little bit of background. The reason we're talking about this is in politics in New Zealand at the moment, there's this huge rigmarole. One politician's come out against another one and said he's corrupt, and then that one has said, well, I'm not corrupt, but you... So the tape of Simon Bridges, leader of the National Party, is like a six-minute audio recording. He calls a West Coast MP effing useless.

In his own party. Ouch. Maureen. Yeah, Maureen. Maureen. Maureen. Did you listen to the whole tape? I listened to the whole tape.

Not as juicy as I was hoping. Right. Nothing that kind of confirms the corruption that the whole tape was about. The thing that most people have taken out of this is that he called a woman effing useless. It's quite an insult, though. And then went into the makeup of the party in terms of, how would you delicately put this? The two Chinese candidates. The ethnic makeup of the party.

Better than two Indian candidates is the exact words. Yeah. Simon Bridges is having a real stressful week. Oh, no, guys. I didn't mean it that way. You know how racism sounds to people. Bad and stuff. So we want to know, because, you know, it's just come out that he's called this woman effing useless.

And we want to know when you've been told that you were. And it turns out we've all got a story. Yeah. It's really mean. It's just a really mean insult. It's a great motivator, though. Yeah. Like it's 1980s, 1990s management style to motivate your workers

by just running them into the ground. How do snowflake millennials take this? I'd probably say as well as snowflake Gen Ys, snowflake Gen Xs,

baby boomers. And no one likes being called effing useless. So I used to work in a kitchen. I was the kitchen hand. And I,

in my defence, I don't think I deserved it because I used to, like, put a little flair into making my desserts. I used to like try real hard. But you're the kitchen hand, you're not the chef. You don't get to put flair on things. No, I got to make the desserts and do the dishes.

Your flair can only be in hand. Yeah. But I got told not only was I even useless but I had an attitude problem. Me! To be totally honest, those two go hand in hand. Yeah I had an attitude problem. Me! To be totally honest, those two go hand in hand.

Yeah, having an attitude problem and being effing useless. Was it in the kitchen? Was it a Gordon Ramsay? You know how chefs are like often real grumpy? Yeah. Yeah, she was real angry just all the time. And I like to talk back a little bit. So sue me. So sue me. I had an opinion. Yeah, so I was effing useless.

But what were you doing to the desserts? Were you putting sauce on it or something? No, I was taking too long. But I told you I was putting flair into it. What did you have to do? Well, before I put the cake or something on, I put a squiggle of chocolate sauce on the plate. Oh, yeah, you were plating up.

Yeah, and then I used to put little garnishes of different... And then, oh, my favorite thing to do is cut the strawberries so you leave the green bit on and then you slice them and then you flare it out. Oh, there you go. You're adding flare. Also great to see if there's a needle in it when you cut it in half. Yeah, that's 2018's reason for flaring a strawberry.

Yeah, but obviously I was taking too long. Needless to say, I don't work in food preparation anymore. The thing about the people saying it, often it just flies off the tongue. But for the people receiving it, it hangs around. See, I've remembered it all these years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because we were hauled into a meeting once, ages ago. We were called effing useless. I'd forgotten about that, actually. Yeah. Effing useless. Yeah. That's pretty funny.

And I think that only made it worse that I laughed when I got called effing useless I've kind of grown up around people that say that sort of stuff Like it's no big deal So it doesn't worry me What were you particularly doing at the time? Well nothing, that was the problem I mean it wasn't uncalled for, we were

We were effing useless But then you've been on both sides of it Fletch I've watched you Tell people that they are particularly useless with the F word. Sometimes followed with the C word. I find that's a real bookend of the word useless. The thing is, I'll give them a little leeway. And if they keep making the same mistake, they are.

Aren't they? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

Definitely. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. So, I mean, we thought if we've all got a story, and Maureen, who Simon Bridges... Oh, does Maureen deserve it? Well, she's come out and said, he probably said that because I'm very passionate about the West Coast and I'm always hitting him up. Right. Nice spin, Maureen.

We're not believing that. No one's believing that, Maureen. We thought we'd take your stories. Has anybody ever called you effing useless? And maybe like Megan to this day, it still haunts you. It still hangs around. Yeah. Did you deserve it like those two or do you feel miffed about it like me?

We're talking about when you've been called effing useless. The leader of the National Party is on tape calling one of the MPs effing useless. From his own party. Yeah. Even if she is ineffective, that's real mean. That's real mean, Simon. Simon Brojoz. Simon Brojoz.

Ineffective is such a scientific way of saying effing useless. It is. You are being ineffective. In fact, it feels almost like sterile. I'd rather the character of being called effing useless than being called relatively inefficient. I'd be like, oh, damn, that stings. And we all have a story of being called effing useless,

and we want to know yours. And it turns out, I don't know, this is kind of a New Zealand way to tell you you're bad at your job. And for everybody's stories we're about to hear, just a kind reminder that we just are accepting F-ing in place of the actual full F word. Yes, exactly. Let's start with Lucy.

Good morning, Lucy. What happened? Hi, guys. So I'm an ED nurse. Okay. Oh, what a job. That's your emergency department, isn't it? What a job you do.

Clap, clap from the front. Clap for the nurses. Because what an amazing job. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're welcome. So once a week we probably get called that, or at least sworn at, or get called ineffective, or some people say it a bit politer,

but most people just come right out with the swear words. Now, these are patients and people you're trying to help. Mostly, it's actually mostly the family. Sometimes the patients rock up, but mainly, like, they're in bed, not wanting to move or talk and act all sick on us. But normally the family come in and hound us. And so you're, that's so terrible. It is.

And it's quite sad because you're just there trying to help and do your best and then the family just come and abuse you or the patient. And it just, like, makes you not want to go back into the room and it affects the care you give. And it makes you go home feeling terrible about yourself. That's actually really sad. I don't like hearing that at all. That's really sad, isn't it?

That's bad. So what do you say to the people when they say that? Is there a prescribed rebuttal from the health department, or do you just tell them to F off? Jab them with morphine or something? I've kind of grown a bit of a backbone, and I just turn around and say, you can't talk to me like that, and if you continue to, you're going to get taken out.

And most of the time, our doctors are 100% supportive of us and they say we literally won't see you if you keep treating our nurses like that. That's good. I'd say I'm going to euthanise your nana here if you keep that up. With Jif and a syringe it's not going to be nice.

Thanks for your call Lucy, that's why Vaughan is not a nurse or a doctor. Sarah, when were you called effing useless? Sarah. Is it Shana? Sorry, Shana. Yeah, let's go to Shana. Shana, when were you called effing useless? So I used to work in a retail store

and I was a new kind of supervisor level but I was thrown into running the store and then a guy from another store called to get something transferred. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's all good. And then he goes, oh, who's the manager on? And I said, Shana.

And he goes, oh, I don't know how you work with her. She's effing useless. And it was you! And it was me. And I kind of just went really quiet being you. And then I was like, oh, I didn't know we'd met before because I hadn't even met him. Yeah.

So I don't know what had been said about me at other stores, but yeah. I would have died and just pretended it wasn't me on the phone. Yeah. I'd just rather not know. He was really nice to me at trainings after that though, like when we finally met.

Oh, okay. Brilliant. All right, Shana, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. I give myself a self-motivational speech every morning and always one of the lines

is stop being so effing useless. That's somebody self-prescribing their own little bit of, yeah. Some other text messages in.

My boss said that he couldn't swear at me while I was employed so he fired me and then called me effing useless once. You have to pay them out if you call them effing useless. I don't know. Maybe it was like an HR thing. Maybe they'd had this happen before. This useless politician

as described by Simon Bridges. She's got a name. Useless Maureen. Could Maureen take Simon Bridges. No, she's got a name, Useless Maureen, please. Could Maureen take Simon Bridges to like National HR Department? Do they have one of those? Somebody said that they work in, someone messaged in saying they are in HR and it's an absolute personal grievance, like what he's done. Do you have to prove then that you are actually not effing useless?

Yeah. Well, the person that messaged in saying they work in HR and that this is a personal grievance saying that if he's looked at his own poll results lately, he'd probably say he's the actual effing useless one. He is, yeah.

Yeah. So, rightly called. Touche. Somebody else said, I worked in retail and my boss called me effing useless, so I left that store, went to another one,

and now I manage him. Oh, power play. Oh, yeah. And then there's a few more like this. Somebody said, my dad once called me effing useless, but when I took over the family business, I doubled production and profit. Who's effing useless now?

You don't even need to say it. You probably don't even need to tell your dad. I'd leave a performance graph somewhere, though, so Dad could see it. My cricket coach called me effing useless, but hey, he totally had a point. Cricket wasn't really my game. I was only playing it because my parents made me.

So yeah, there's no shortage in this country of people being called effing useless. Fact of the Day. This is about addiction. Cravings. Can I, before we get to that. Oh, you may. You may, yes. We have a new Fact of the Day pump quiz coming up in Tauranga.

We will be on the eve of Halloween. So the 30th, Tuesday the 30th of October at CBK in Tauranga. That's Craft Beer Kitchen. Yes. That's what that stands for. I believe that's what that stands for. Direct demand us. If you would like to register your team, go to ZM Online.

It's under the win section. It is. Register your team name and if we're in touch, we select you. Your winning team wins $1,000. Today's fact of the day about cravings. Cravings are a real test of willpower. I myself have never been addicted to cigarettes or had a dependence on drugs or gambling. Mine's caramilk, though, and Maltesers and biscuits and cake, lollies, sugar.

Mine's a salty one rather than a sweet one, I think. To get your salty fix. Yeah. Your cravings. Well, there is a way to reduce cravings for drugs, food, cigarettes, alcohol, and sex. Is it solitary confinement? A lobotomy? No, God no.

If you were by yourself, your mind would just run away, wouldn't it? And just be, yeah, well, especially that, Fletch. You have what you've indicated there with your hand. Fawn. That's not what I'm talking about though managing the cravings

it's as simple as a three minute game of Tetris blocks the block stacking game

Tetris where blocks fall from the sky in certain shapes and you press the button to

rotate them and fit them in and when you've got a whole line bloop disappears yeah but

there's also one of those games on the instant kiwi app is there for gambling the gambling well that's the thing they say it also stops gaming craving of uh people who are addicted to video games it's like but it's a video game it's like treating your drug addiction with other drugs so i download this on my app at any tetris yep any interest and i feel like biscuits when I've had a healthy day. Correct. Or lollies. And I play this for three minutes.

And it overwhelmingly, and the people that participated in the study, took their cravings down significantly. So this was a joint venture between a team of psychologists from the Plymouth University and Queensland's University. And they monitored participants over a week. They just randomly text them saying, what are your cravings? And these are people who signed on

with what they had uncontrollable cravings for. And what is it on a scale of 1 to 10? And now play three minutes of Tetris, and they would, and then report your cravings again, and it was down. Huh. Yeah. They were given a range of other

tasks like one group was tetris there was other groups doing different things but the ones that felt the immediate cravings down was a three-minute game of tetris and did they say why like is it something in the brain so satisfying yeah well i guess well unless you have a really bad game unless you keep getting those ones that are like owls. Because sometimes a big long red block drops down and you don't get it in the right. Or the four-way ones, the long skinny ones. You're like, I'm not ready for you yet. You come later when I've got everybody gathered up in the line for you to drop into.

I like to tuck those on the side if I can. They just think it makes your brain function differently. Okay. To think about placement and everything, and it keeps it occupied, and it maybe takes your mind off the cravings. Until there's like one of those, you download a game of Tetris, and there's an ad for, I don't know, KFC or something. Yeah, that'll get you.

You're like, damn it. For ciggies. I'm always playing games and getting ads for ciggies. It's like, we'll just interrupt your gaming for a moment. Have you had a cigarette lately? Mm-mm, cigarettes. So today's fact of the day is if you've got some cravings, if you feel like you're weak and will give in to your cravings,

play a three-minute game of Tetris and it will stop your craving. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. bored over the long weekend, she's going to put up a Christmas tree. Because I always put it up right at the end of October, which is only like a couple of weeks away. But you're like, why not do it this weekend? Yeah, I've got time. You're crazy. I can't stand Christmas decorations everywhere. Remember, I've already got one Christmas decoration up.

I've got a reindeer on my table. How big is it? It's real cute. Is it sitting down? Like that tall. Standing up? Standing tall. I always go away. Is it a down? Like that tall. Standing up? Standing tall. I always go away, so...

Is that 50 centimetres high or so? Yeah, what you're holding there is probably about 30. It's too much, Megan. Calm down. Yeah, you do need to... December only and take them down after Christmas. Oh, all right, crunchypuffs. Immediately.

Immediately put them in the bin on Christmas. Like, I don't even own Christmas decorations. That's sad to me. That is so sad. Well, I'm a ways away. Over summer, you're a ways away, so why bother? In the lead up, it gets you into a Christmas spirit. I don't like decorations.

He doesn't like the spirit of Christmas. No, I like presents and scorched almonds. I've said this. Yeah, I said the spirit of Christmas. Yeah, and that's chocolate. That's not examples of the spirit of Christmas. Yeah, and baby Jesus. Baby Jesus. Yeah, under that's chocolate. That's not examples of the spirit of Christmas. Yeah, and baby Jesus. Baby Jesus.

Yeah, under his eye. Under the tree. Under the tree. Blessed be the Christmas pudding. There is reports of Christmas penetration flooding in from around the world. Around the world. Christmas penetration the Mayfair florist in

Blenheim is apparently out of control. Out of control with Christmas. See, I don't think it's flowers. It's Christmas trees. I don't think of flowers at Christmas. Christmas lilies. Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah, but mum always grows them,

and then the pollen gets on your white shirt, and you're like, mum! Take the stamens out. Am I working with amateurs here? You take the stamens out. You've taken away amateurs here? You take the stamens out. You've taken away the heart of the flower. No, it still smells pretty. Just leave them outside in the garden.

Kill a cat, though. They'll kill a cat. They will kill a cat. Yeah, the peace lilies. Yeah, the peace lilies will kill a cat. Somebody said, this is from Casey. She said, popped along to Kmart online. Oh, yeah.

Christmas has its own tab at the top for shopping. Oh, wow. The Christmas tab is active on the Kmart website up the top left-hand corner. I haven't been yet. I can't wait to see. You can't wait to get amongst? I'm going to get a trolley. You reckon this weekend you'll get a trolley?

Yeah. Olivia is a longtime friend of the show. She's in London. She said a massive ice rink slash Christmas situation is being erected at the Natural History Museum in Kensington. Oh yeah, okay. And it's definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in Kensington. Jenny has been in touch. Christmas penetration has been happening in Melbourne since September.

However, Maya has its giftatorium open now. Is that where you go get your wrapping done? Well, I think it's just all things Christmas. Christmas decorations, trees, household ornaments,

But I would have thought anything in a department store is a Christmas gift. Yeah. You've raised a very good point. I've raised a valid point, haven't I? A super valid point.

A super valid point. A super valid point. Lots of other spottings of Christmas from around the world. This one from a little closer to home, though, and it's the first spotting of Christmas crackers. Christmas crackers, the bonbons. Now, you don't really need those until actual Christmas Day. Advent calendars always pop up early, like months early, but they're needed for the month of December.

But this is an on Christmas Day situation. That's a fat tube? Is that what you're going to say? Like a luncheon size? No, I was going to say it's a mixed pack, and I like them all to match. I'm very particular. Those are all mixed.

Oh, yeah. What do you mean? It's colours. Like white and red. No, they don't all be the same. My Christmas crackers to match. Wait, you want them to all be red? Yeah.

Or all be white. Those are like red or white. Okay. Yeah, but you could alternate down the table. I know, I'm not into that. Red, white, red. Oh, okay. Matching, please.

Another report here. Somebody said the local Christmas tree place that sells real Christmas trees has a big sign up saying Christmas trees coming soon now. Oh. So we're about to deforest the planet for your joy. If you had a real one, though, you can't get it too early. How long would that last? No, that's what I was thinking. You don't want to get them too early in November because they'd be dead by Christmas and that's a real sad thing.

Kids wake up on Christmas Day, run out and the pine needles are all over the ground and it's looking like a sad state. Yeah. An absolutely sad state of affairs. I want to just forewarn everybody. I've heard from somebody and they want to remain anonymous, but they work for malls. Okay.

And they said we are within... Kui. Kui. Within striking distance of malls going full-blown Christmas. Oh, yeah. It's happening. Full-blown Christmas. So with all this in mind and 67 days away from Christmas...

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Right now, Christmas penetration is at? 71%. Ooh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Some data has been released, the most popular TV shows in the world. So not just take into account ratings, but also social media engagement, like how many people talk about it online, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter. Okay.

How many people blog about it. How many people share photos of these TV shows. Overall social impact of the shows. Yeah. And so how many people are talking about it across the world. And the most popular TV shows have been found. The top five in demand TV series that firstly are on TV so these are on your normal TV stations

with ads not Netflix right a separate list for that okay so on TV the most in-demand seasons series Vikings at number five which surprised me it's a great show but it's like a History Channel show, isn't it? Yeah, we get it streaming, so I don't know. Yeah, Lightbox? Yeah, I think. In New Zealand? Yeah, I think.

I think there was some series on Netflix, but they were the older ones. Right, okay. Walking Dead is in at four. Grey's Anatomy at three. Oh, okay. Is that still you? Because that's got Mick. They got rid of Mick.

Mick Stewart-Nelson. Mick, yeah, they've got rid of the... Mick Martin-Henderson. Mick Dreamy. But didn't Meredith Grey say she was like... She's out. She was going to wrap it up or... Well, I'm sure there's more Greys where that came from.

Yeah, that's true. But also I feel like, do you think she'd regret that? Because, like, she's so in that role that she couldn't do anything else. Stock cars. Yeah. It's like Mick Dreamy, he's left and what's he been in? Nothing. Couple of rom-coms.

And that's it? Yeah. He's probably just been enjoying his millions of dollars to be honest. Yeah. Game of Thrones is the next TV show on that list at number two. Number two? Yeah. And you're going to guess the number one TV show in the world on television.

Big Bang Theory. Yeah. It beat Game of Thrones. Yeah. I feel like Game of Thrones has bigger international appeal than Big Bang Theory. I watch Big Bang Theory and I don't, I just hate it so much.

You started, you're like, I don't like, no, actually I hate it. Like, I'll always be like, okay, I'm going to see what the entire world sees in this show. And I sit down and I'm like, I get so angry at it. But I also don't know anyone that likes it. I don't mind it. I don't watch it, but I used to watch it and I never minded it.

Okay, well, the top five. I'll see myself. The top five streaming shows in the world. Yeah. Stranger Things at five. Oh, okay. Star Trek Discovery is in at four. That's the latest Star Trek. Is that an Amazon or a Hulu? Oh, okay. Star Trek Discovery is in at four. That's the latest Star Trek.

Is that an Amazon or a Hulu? Oh, okay. One of those. Lame. Okay. Lame. Nerds. One of the most successful

pop cultural phenomenons of the last hundred years. Nerds. Lame. Narcos in at three. Oh, yes. Actually, I just saw the new season. Season three.

That's coming out soon. That's going to be in Mexico with all kind of new season, season three. That's coming out soon. That's going to be in Mexico with all kind of new cartels and cast. That's, is it November? I think, yeah, start of November

or mid-November, that's out. Right. Black Mirror, the second most popular show in the world. Wow. According to...

For on-demand services. Yeah. Wow. And I guess that is a show that people would talk about. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a binger too. You've got to slow burn that. Yeah. And it really does make you think. Yeah. And I guess that is a show that people would talk about. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a binger, too.

You've got to slow burn that. Yeah, and it really does make you think. Yeah. And I guess talk after that. Well, I think that we're awful and screwed and horrible and the future's really bleak. Basically. Yeah. And the number one, do you want to have a guess?

Because you don't know the number one. So this is on streaming services. Yeah, and, you know, because this data takes into account people talking about it, I would say a big talker last year when this came out. Oh, 13 Reasons Why. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, 13 Reasons Why.

Yeah, right. Wow. The biggest in kind of the last year of data. I never finished the second season. Everybody was like, oh, that's pretty dork. It was very different. Yeah, I didn't bother because people were just a bit like, mm. I liked it once I'd finished it.

Yeah. Oh, really? Okay. But living through it was... So you're not selling it to me. There's more stuff. ZM's. Fletch.

Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. For more, check out FVM ZM on Facebook. ZM.