ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 22 2019

Episode Date: October 21, 2019

Community Notices, Am I A Bad Person and what did your parents turn you bedroom into?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Megan. Fletch, Megan on ZM. Fletch and Megan. Jesus. What time did we get the message from Vaughan? Producer Caitlin, you're trying to... She's not ready. Getting her headphones. Is there anybody here ready?

Your flesh is so pissed. It's not hard to be here like we always are. At 5.39. I was doing a Vaughan. I didn't have my headphones ready. 5.39. He didn't pick up. Caitlin's too busy flirting on Instagram.

Hey. Hey. Oh, no, he is moving. I was worried that something bad had happened because he hadn't picked up his phone. It's just useless. So Vaughan apparently has slept in. He said alarm malfunction.

Yeah, do you want to go live and try calling him? You can leave a message on his voicemail. But you've tried calling. I've called him three times. Or maybe he'll pick up. Try again. Put it through. I'll called him three times. Or maybe he'll pick up. Try again. Put it through. I'll chuck it on the desk.

Oh, I don't know how to do that. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. What do I do here, James? Oh my God. James doesn't want a bar of your shit. Oh, Vaughan. Hello.

Can you put it through so we can hear? Patch him through. Turn your bloody radio off, you amateur. Hello? Hello? Where are you? I'm on the north-western. Why did you sleep in?

Well, no, my alarm wasn't even on. Oh, my God. Why was it not on? Right. Right, okay. How have you got this phone, life? I'm really surprised. Well, I don't know.

She liked it. And cuteness, I'd say, would be the two unique factors. Well, you're running out of cuteness if you keep this stick up. Yeah, don't laugh at his jokes. You're supposed to be angry with him. But he's right.

The cuteness does the work. I keep buying a lot of cuteness. I can't understand you when you talk over each other like this. Are you broadcasting professionals or what? God. One of those times. Wow.

Hot kid all black. Rich, let Megan have a turn at your complete. Rich coming from you. Absolutely rich. Okay. Well, do you know what you're doing for your top six? God, no. I've only been awake 20 minutes.

Fantastic. Great. Fantastic. Great. Okay. All right, guys. I've had a good period of traffic here. I'll probably only be another 15 minutes, I reckon. You should have seen Bleacher's face. There is an option.

I could just turn around and go home at Great North Road. That traffic is excellent. There's nothing going that way. No, you're fine. You're fine. All right. Well, Vaughan will be in soon. Be swift, please.

All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Well, with Vaughan stuck in traffic and having slept through his alarm, Megan, it's... No, he didn't sleep through it. He didn't turn it on. Oh, okay.

Well, without Vaughn setting an alarm, it's your pack this morning. Yeah. For story time. You don't need to let Vaughn railroad you. For once. For once. Yeah.

No, this is great news. Yeah. It's the all-woman story time, like the spacewalk. Yeah, awesome. We're really breaking barriers this week on story time. Headline one, you've got to pick one of the following three headlines, Megan. Only one allowed. Headline one, T've got to pick one of the following three headlines, Megan. Only one allowed. Headline one,

Tupac alive and arrested. Ooh. Headline two, $1.99, oh no, what did he say? £1.99, because it's pounds. See-through plastic bra

hits shops. Okay. £1.99 bra hits shops. And headline three, tourist floats away. So I saw the plastic bra.

It's just see-through, right? Yeah. It looks like half little fish bowls. I don't know what the point is. Is it supposed to be sexy? Because it's like literally moulded plastic it would dig into. Yeah, a lot of reviews

have said that. Doesn't make sense. I mean, it'll hold them up, sure. It'd be sweaty, I'd imagine. There wouldn't be a lot of breathability. Condensation? You'd have to put a couple of those little silica packets. You know those little things you get in your vitamins? Yeah, yeah.

Just pop a couple of those down the bottom. To soak up the moisture. Because you don't know, but when you put like a $5 note or like a coin down your bra and you forget about it, like at the end of the day, it's a little bit sweaty. That's why we actually moved to plastic notes. So they can withstand being in the bra all day. Because I believe when we moved to plastic notes is when we had Jenny Shipley as Prime Minister.

She would know. Your great auntie. Yeah. She would have shoved a fibre down her buzzy. She was probably sick of some soggy fibres down her buzzy. She's like, we've got to change this plastic. I'm Prime Minister. I can do that.

Three, I think. Tourists floating away. Tourists floats away. All right, we go to Iceland now. Well, the lake, I have no idea how to say. Jokullaslan Lake. Perfect. It's got a lot of things above the letters.

They love that in Iceland. Well, it's a winter day. A man part of a tour group, he ignored multiple warning signs and decided to walk onto a frozen lake. Okay. Now, I don't know if it's because I found this story yesterday,

but a video popped up in my feed yesterday of how to survive falling through the ice. What? Did you find the story before that popped up? Yes. I of how to survive falling into a, like through the ice. What? Did you find the story before that popped up? Yes, I don't know if it was like

targeted advertising. It was like a uni lad or a lad bible or something like that video. Targeted advertising. So if you fall through the ice, you exhale

and then you put your arms out and you're meant to kick and you relax so you're not allowed to panic. You don't panic and then you kick your feet and then you slowly like move up and then you crawl out. That's just a tip if you ever. So you hit the roof of the ice and then what?

You're supposed to crawl to the hole. Well, this guy in the video didn't go right under. He just put his arms out. Right. So it stopped him. Because I thought the biggest issue would be finding the hole which you fell down. You know what I mean? Well, yeah, that would be an issue as well.

Yeah. And you're panicking. Because then you hit the roof of the ice and you're like, shit, where's the hole? Yeah. Is the sun shining through the hole? Well, he went further and further out onto this ice and that's when he started to float away. Oh, no. It broke away from the main sheet and he almost went in.

But luckily they managed to get him back. But there is a hilarious video that accompanies this. So he didn't fall in the water, he just like floated away in a little... Oh my God. Like a little mini ice shelf.

Like maybe two, three metres by three metres. That's quite comical. Yeah. He's trying to get his sweet Insta photo. Hands in his pocket, looking cool and at the same time floating away. Yeah. He's trying to get his sweat insta photo. Hands in his pocket, looking cool,

and at the same time floating away. Right. Good gram though. So just add a great gram. I think Iceland just be full of great grams. Yeah.

Still no Vaughan? ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Here he is. Vaughan's here. Morning. Only 16 minutes late. It's not bad.

Not bad from you. The show, thanks to Spark prepaid data stack, the longer you stay, the better it gets. There has been an announcement, a new breathalyser that can test for levels of marijuana

on the breath. Isn't that what they all do? Well, they know the breathalysers do the alcohol, don't they? But this is the first, I believe the first time one's been invented that can test for how stoned a person is. Oh, stone. Stone.

So obviously normally the breathalysers check the alcohol levels. But this new breathalyser from Hound Labs can determine how recently THC, the ingredient that affects you when you're smoking, has been taken. And so obviously this is a problem in places like Colorado, the states, a lot of states where it's been legalized. Yeah. But then people are driving and that's just as bad as driving drunk. Yeah.

Because you are impaired. So apparently this has been labelled a game changer and the normally blood tests will show how long you've smoked marijuana. Blood and urine. Blood and urine. How long it's been in your system. But this is breath. And yeah, apparently it's been developed

so that it can tell up to, you know, a few hours since you've had it. Didn't Australians have a roadside pinger's test? Yeah, but how did they do that? I think it was like swabs your mouth. Oh, right. And then they dip it in a little like beaker or something.

Yeah. And swish it around. Yeah. Is there like a, do they measure limits or like amounts or like I don't really know how it works or is it just any? Because surely you could just be like blowing my face in. You could be like, yeah.

Or you're at a party and you're the sober driver and you're in the room. So you accidentally get some. And then would you be over? Yeah, right. Surely they'll set a limit. Yeah. But yeah, it would be how much would be in your lungs and you'd have to be, have to have concentrated amounts, right? Yeah.

Yeah. So, I mean, it's probably a good thing. And when you blow into the bag, if you blow it and it's literally full of smoke, then that's probably a fair indication that you shouldn't be driving. Yeah. Yeah. Right. All right, next on the show, Vaughan, you may not know this,

but community notices. I love a challenge. Because you've just turned up, so you're going to have to go through the inbox. My laptop battery is flat, too, so this is going to be... Oh, my God. So that's going to take a couple of minutes to fire that up, isn't it? Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages.

A confusing note to start. This is on the Pamu, Mount Wellington and Glen Innes Community Group. Now, geographically, that's quite a big spread. Yeah, it's a big spread. Yeah. That's a big spread, that community group. Claire writes, she puts up, first of all, she puts up four photos. Okay. One is of a mature gentleman.

Yeah. And then the next two are exactly the same photos of a younger gentleman. And then thirdly, fourthly, it's her profile pic uploaded amongst this cluster of photos. Right. And she says, I believe I'm related to these people. Colin and Daniel,

can anyone confirm or deny? That's all there is. That's all there is. I promise. Mum's using Facebook. She put up the photos, I believe I'm related to these people. Does she want us

to pass a judgment on whether or not we find... Is it a joke or like... That she looks like them? Oh, God. I hear kids watching over her Facebook.

Yeah, if your mum's name's Claire and she lives in Pamu and Mount Wellington, Glen, just rein her in. She needs a bit of a hand. Check her in. She does look a bit like the lad, to be honest.

The young girl. Right, okay. They do bear a striking resemblance to each other. Pride and Putururu. That's Putururu. And the Waikato. Kim says, anyone's cat missing their tail? Found this on our driveway this morning.

Feel free to come and get it because I can't bring myself to touch it. No! Oh my god! It's like a tabby tail. It might be a... It could possibly be a possum's tail. Nah, that looks more like a cat. A cat's tail. Like a big floofy.

Do you think it got shut in like a car door or something? Or got run over maybe? No, the tail got run over. Oh, okay, yeah. You know, like if the cat was running. It's quite a clean, detached tail. Yeah, or they might have just yonked it right off.

Are they like lizards or what are those, geckos? They can detach your tail? Mammals, no. No, no. And then grow a new one? That's not growing back. Oh, okay. No, that's not growing back.

Tom was out there absolutely winding up Napier. Listen to this post because when I read it, I was like, yes. Well played, Tom. While visiting my local countdown, I was disgusted to find that the best parking spaces nearest the door are now reserved for parent and child parking. If you're fit enough to produce offspring, you should jolly well be able to walk across a car park into the supermarket. The best spaces should be reserved for the people with the most expensive cars. It is us that is most likely to spend the most money in the supermarket

and have the most shopping to carry back to our cars because we're so wealthy. Brilliant. Okay, great troll. This person's a repeat offender, aren't they? The person who did that post. I don't know. Yeah. Tom Prescott. No, it's? The person who did that post. I don't know. Yeah. Tom Prescott. No, it's a woman in Australia, that post.

I've heard that before. Oh, so Tom's just copied it. Because we get a lot of this, but I haven't seen that internationally. We'll get one, literally, it's like, for sale, grandma's old exercise equipment. And it's like a whole lot of sex harnesses and B&B and everything. Grandma? But then you can see American power plugs on the wall.

Yeah. Right. You've got to crop those out. That's sloppy. Yeah. If you're going to catfish us. Yeah, but I don't mind that one. Yeah.

That one's also, Tom's a plagiarist there, are they? Yeah. Sorry, Tom, you had all your marks deducted. But did people bite? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. As you know. Also, just note for a tip there for supermarket shoppers.

They don't police the parents with kids' car parks. They can't. No, but people leave you a passag note. You say, you kids just shut up. You're staying in the car. And then put a blanket over some cushions. Yeah. And that's how you keep your kids locked.

No, but then they leave you a note like, please don't smother your children with blankets. I know, yeah. It's 35 degrees out there. What are you doing? Shush, sleeping baby. Yeah, leave you a note, like, please don't smother your children with blankets in the middle of the city. It's 35 degrees out there. What are you doing? Shush, sleeping baby. Yeah, just leave a note. A post-it note.

Shush, sleeping baby. And are you allowed to, like, pets? Like, yeah, maybe, yeah. Your fur babies? If I ever get a car, I'm going to do that. A little post-it note. Shush, sleeping baby. Because those parks are the best.

Yeah, and then just get a heavily tinted back window. Yep, love it. Next up, this is from the residents of Rototuna North, which apparently, like Korea, I guess. They need to distinguish each other. They don't want to be mixed up between Rototuna and Rototuna North. Steve writes, does anyone know who this is? He left something quite odd in my letterbox.

And it's like a security camera. Yeah. Wide shot of the driveway. You can see a silver station wagon on the road and a quite well-dressed, well-to-do man standing next to the letterbox. And so people are obviously, like, interested into what has been left in the letterbox. Yeah, right. Lots of people saying we didn't know what's in the letterbox. Steve answers.

It was brackets, presumably used, closed brackets, full face silicon mask and lubricant. I don't understand it at all. Wow. Okay. And that no one got to the bottom of it. silicon mask and lubricant I don't understand it at all wow okay and that no one got to the bottom of it people are just like we've got to see

photos of this full face silicon mask Steve we're not kink shaming but we'd like some more details that is odd

just to leave that in a random unless he thought it was someone else's letterbox yeah or what if there's a wife

she's playing around she's into full face silicon masks Yeah. Or what if there's a wife? She's playing around. She's into full face. Oh, yeah, right. And the husband's caught the mask. Yeah. She's like, oh, my God, what is that here? Give it to me. I'll put it in the bin.

Give it here. I'll put it in the bin in the bedroom. I'll put it in the en suite bathroom bin. Yeah. That's the second drawer. What are you doing? Don't worry about it. I'm going to put it here because it's not recycling day yet.

Yeah, right. And you've got to recycle silicon. But I'll just leave this here. What are you cleaning it for? Huh? I'm just, it's sticky. I just, for next time. And finally today, Ruby Rose on the Dunedin News page

posts a photo of a man walking down the side of the road carrying one of those big old rotary clotheslines. Oh, okay. You know, the ones mums love because they spin in the wind and they get a good breeze around them. You can play Wheel of Goon on those? Yeah, you can play Goon of Fortune. Remember that time I hit our old boss in the head with a full goon?

Great times. Stuff. In my defence, she wasn't looking while playing Wheel of Goon. You've got to keep your eye on the goon. Always pay attention. The thing about this is, before I read the caption, is that he's about to walk into power lines with that. Oh, my God.

That's humongous. He's carrying the whole thing. It's massive. It's a temporary Kiwi. Yeah. Wow, he's about to be. It looks like he's about to be electrocuted. But Rose writes, does anyone know this gentleman?

Please tell him to return my TV aerial. Last seen on Murray's Street in Mosgill. Now, I think that might have been a joke. Because it's a washing line. Yeah, because it's a washing line. But then Ash commented on there saying, is this the same one? Because I literally just found it dumped in my backyard. And it's the same washing lines've thrown over someone's back fence.

That's good that they're reuniting owners of their stolen property. And Ruby says, wow, I've PM'd you. Let's get that back here. So,

they might have been using it for a TV rush. Well, you get some decent reception off one of those. Yeah, probably would. Covers a big area.

Some free view. Yeah. You just don't want your cable tied hard to the part that spins or it'll wind it up and pull it out the wall. Those are today's Todd-'s community, today's,

today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, you can screen cap it and send it to ours, FVMZM on Facebook. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Told you I had a pizza hack, how to get more pizza for your buck. Yep.

Someone has done. Order two, then claim you only ordered one. So they've made it anyway. So when you go to pick it up, you're like, two? No, I only ordered one. I don't think that's going to work somehow. 50% of the time, they'll give you the other one for nothing. Will they?

Be like, well, I'm not paying full price for it. And then you give them a bit of pause and then you do. That's not a thing. If you were having a party, just pretend. One day you just pretend. We had a party at memory. We had a pool party and I ordered pizza. That's right.

Okay, so the best thing about that was she turned up and there was like 12 pizzas. And she said, pizzas? I was like, we haven't ordered pizzas. You should have said that. The look on her face. That is such a dad joke and i was like no no no come on here we go oh my god okay well you don't have to imagine okay but do

you do you remember what kind of pizzas you got oh not like a good range but not vegetarian okay so if you get a large pizza from honest just don't know, just standard in New Zealand, how many inches are they? 12. And if you get a Sal's. Like a foot long. Yeah, that would be right. It's a Sal's is 18.

Well, New York style pizza. Well, New Yorkers do the New York, don't they now? They do the bigger ones. They do actually. You're right. And I like to go for those because you get more, I reckon. But I don't know. So say you had the option of 12 inch pizzas and an 18 inch pizza.

What are you going to order for a party? You'd be more likely to order. You'd go for the bigger one. I'd always go for the bigger one. But those are bigger slices. Yeah. Well, do you want me to say small? Oh, I'd go for the smaller one.

No, I'm just curious. What way are you trying to lead me? I'll do whatever you want. It says here with the new, if we're going to use Domino's for an EG, an example, you get eight slices with their big New Yorker ones. But see, that hand, unless that's a tiny hand in that picture, that doesn't look like an 18-inch pizza. And it doesn't say anywhere 18-inch.

It just says New York, New York. Yeah, it doesn't say. But in my mind, if you ordered two 12-inch pizzas, that's 24 inches, which is greater than 18 inches. So two small pizzas is better than one big pizza. But then by that idea, Megan, why not order three 9-inch pizzas? Okay, so they're 16 inches. I've just Googled.

They're 16 inches. But you don't know because everyone wants to add an inch, don't they? Yeah. You actually get it home and you're just like, disappointing. Oh, the box. It's rattling around inside the box. It's not nearly as big as it said it was. Yeah, take off some of the toppings.

It slides. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. It actually has been revealed someone has done actual maths on a pizza. If you order an 18-inch pizza, it is better than two 12-inch pizzas. They have worked it out in square inches. If you order an 18-inch pizza, it is better than two 12-inch pizzas. They have worked it out in square inches.

So one 18-inch pizza has 254 square inches of pizza. Two 12-inches has 226 square inches. But this is basic maths. That's pi radius squared. Well, can someone do that for the 16-inch versus two 12-inch? It is. I can see the maths here. It's pi and brackets, the radius squared. Well, can someone do that for the 16-inch versus 212-inch? It is. I can see the maths here. It's pi in brackets, the radius squared. Yeah.

Well, can you work it out? Do you not remember that? No. That's the area of a circle. Pi is 3.16. Okay, I don't know. The whole thing is to me. But I don't know what you do with pi.

I have no idea how to work it. I have no idea of a 16-inch circle. I'm just going to Google it because I can't be bothered. No, but that includes crust. I don't want crust coming into these calculations. I'm afraid crust must come into this. I love crust. Get a stuffed crust.

We've got stuff in the crust. Area of a 16-inch radius. No, that's not a radius, my friend. We want the diameter because that's from one side is the diameter, isn't it? Yeah. So it would be an eight eight it would be an eight inch radius uh how many what did you have for a 12 12 was 226 inches squared yep for two of them yeah and what was an 18 254. Okay, this is 201 square inches. So you're still better to order 212. You get so much more from an 18 and a 16.

Yeah. Crazy, isn't it, Sir Chris? Two inches. Just add a couple of inches and you get so much more. And I would like to formally apologise to Mr Kenneth Parker, Morrinsville College maths teacher, 1995 through 97, when I said, I don't think I'll ever use this. Well, you just did.

You just did. I just did. And it was for pizza, baby. We can make maths fun. Why aren't they doing more pizza-based maths? Because pizzas are triangles too. I think they probably are. You should do triangles.

The triangle, because we spent a lot of time on triangles. What's the circle graph called? Venn diagram. A pie graph. Oh, a pie graph. Megan's like, if only we could make that circle one food related. The kids in Labrador.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. They've tested the wastewater. They tested the wastewater. They started this the wastewater. They tested the wastewater. They started this in 2016 in Whangarei, Christchurch and Auckland's North Shore. Auckland's North Shore wastewater plants, that one where you drove north and you're like, that's nice. There's swans there and occasionally you see a boat herning around in it.

And you're like, lovely spot for a lake. And it's poos and weeds. It's old poos. I just learnt that a couple of years ago. Yeah. I thought that that's... I was like,

why are they not houses lakeside? That's... That's lovely. How are the kids frolicking in the lake? Yeah. It's lovely spot for a lake. Because I saw the boat

in there once and it freaked me out. I'm like, someone doesn't know. Yeah. Someone doesn't know. And then I googled it and there is a boat

that hoons around on it to just stir it all up. Imagine a grim job that would be. Do they have to clean the boat? Do they have to get someone out on a banana? On a biscuit? A sea biscuit? Yeah, so Dan really like, ring, goes around the corners really hard.

God, you'd hold on to that biscuit like nobody's business. You wouldn't be falling off. I hope you wash it before you put it in the ocean. And that, kids, is how you get didymo. So it started in those three sites. Whangarei must have been a bit like, I see what you're doing here.

You've only picked three sites and you've picked Whangarei. We don't even get a news weather flyover, so we see what's going on. But they test the wastewater. Basically, it's like a big urine test for seeing drugs and everything because they pass through your system and obviously enter the wastewater. Basically, it's like a big urine test for seeing drugs and everything because they pass through your system and obviously enter the wastewater. Now they do it at 38 sites around New Zealand,

of which captures 80% of the population. And I think people are going to be shocked at how much drug you... I just live in a bubble. This absolutely blew me away. The average weekly use of detected drugs indicates that new zealanders per week are using an estimated 8.9 million dollars of drugs wow then that turn into approximately how much money criminals are making yeah 464 million dollars in criminal profit annually it's crazy yeah so then are they they ran through methamphetamine uh they from what they detected

would mean that 15 kgs has been used on average each week yeah whoa yeah and then i just i put everything into blocks of cheese when I hear a weight. So how much is... 15 of those big blocks. 15 big blocks of cheese. Or 30 grated cheese bags. That doesn't sound like much, does it? But those cheese blocks are heavy.

You wouldn't be able to carry 15 of them. Oh, that's 15 kgs. You should be able to. But you imagine that it's meth. But it's real heavy. Yeah. Because I don't know, meth, weight-wise, I don't know how it measures up density in meth to cheese.

But they also found fentanyl, which is a really bad, that's like the centre of the American opioid crisis. People are dying from that. Yeah. So, steer clear. But it's all bad news, apart from the top six innocent things

that they found in the wastewater. Number six, Brussels sprouts. Literal whole ones, not even in the urine. Yeah, people Brussels sprouts. Literal whole ones, not even in the urine. Yeah, people are like, oh, yuck. That's kids, eh?

Because I hated Brussels sprouts as a kid. I'd just chuck them out the window or just wouldn't eat them. But that's on mum because my mum would boil them. Yeah, and it wasn't

until I went to like some posh restaurant. It's not even posh restaurants. It's just somebody with a clue. Yeah, but if you grill them with like a bit of balsamic vinegar or something. Oh my God.

Bit of garlic. Bit of garlic. You got yourself a winning veg. You just have a top notch veg. High end stuff. If you want them to flush, also you got to put a bit of toilet paper in first.

Yep. Then some more. The Brussels sprouts. Then some more toilet paper paper nothing like a floaty after you've already flushed no because then you can't get rid of it you've got to sandwich it there between some toilet paper number five on the list of the top six uh things innocent things they found in the wastewater strepsils we're doing it we're doing lots of strips for a strip juice yeah anyone got a strepsils and then we're taking lots and it's going through our ways

and it's going into the system. So lots of strepsils. Okay. Still our most preferred cough lozenge. Do you think? They also found some formula 40, some Vicks formula 44 cough lozenges. I like those.

No. Really, I'm a Vicks over a strepsils. I'm an Irish moss. That's a classic. Every time I get a tickle, I just buy a bottle and just have such a little treat. That would be all. It's like that cocktail that Homer Simpson

invents on the Simpsons. The Flaming Homer. That would be in the... Yeah. I've said for a long time they need RTDs that are like Benadryl flavour. But without the Benadryl, obviously, because that would be problematic. But a Benadryl RTD. Jesus, mate, are you alright? I feel like I'm eating Benadryl, obviously, because that would be problematic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be bad. But a Benadryl after days. Jesus, mate, are you all right? I feel like I'm eating Benadryl.

I'm pissed ass. Clear ass, nose and throat. Oh, God. Number four on the list of the top six innocent things they found in the wastewater tests. Traces of those biscuits that mysteriously disappeared. So who ate them? Who ate the biscuits that were all of a sudden just not there anymore? Number three on the list of the top six things they found in the wastewater.

Spit. People are always spitting into toilets. And I don't know why because you wee in them and you poo in them, but I find spitting in them disgusting. Oh, better that than spitting on the ground. Do girls spit in the... Do you ever hear a girl spitting in the toilet? No, I haven't know why because you wee in them and you poo in them, but I find spitting in them disgusting. Oh, better that than spitting on the ground. Do girls spit in the... Do you ever hear a girl spitting in the toilet? No, I haven't.

Ever hear a girl spitting in the toilet? No. They're shaking their heads. You don't know how lucky you are. Being in a urinal and having someone sidle up beside you and go... Wait, spitting in a urinal? Don't do that noise. Oh, I hate that. I know, and it's right beside you and you're like, excuse me, I'm't do that noise oh i hate that i know and it's right

beside you and you're like excuse me i'm trying to urinate here have some decorum number two on there thank you okay spit away thank you for the compliment number two you think you whispered that nice number two on the list of the top six innocent things they found in the wastewater testing are hot sauce. Lots of hot sauce. We're a hot sauce nation now, and that's coming through in the wastewater tests. And number one on the list of the top six innocent things they found in the wastewater, cake icing. Now, but here's the thing.

The ratio of icing to cake indicates a lot of people are just eating icing. There's no cakes. Oh, really? No judgment here. They're just making icing and eating the icing. And there has been no cake underneath that icing. But hey, could be worse. It could be fentanyl.

Yes, that's in our wastewater. Don't. Please. Thank you. That is today's top six. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM.

So parents wait less than three years to do this thing to their children. It's absolutely horrendous. 2.7 years. So two years and seven months. Yeah, that's how that works. Megan's just coming to grips with decimals. No, because if it was 2.7. No, no, she's right.

Because a year has 12 segments. Yeah, but we all know it's 0.7 of a year, right? You're right, Vaughn. No, no, no, Megan's right. You're not right. Because you've said 0.7 would be the seventh month, but it wouldn't be. I didn't say it was the seventh month.

Right. I didn't say that. I just said it's the seventh of the year. So work out. I want to work it out. Okay, do it. Oh, my God, there's too much maths on the show today for my liking. You carry on, I'll do some maths.

Orna will just be quiet for the next five minutes. Okay. What is that, 0.7? Yep. God, here we go. So this is the amount of time it's taking parents to transform their children's bedroom into, well, take back the space and transform it into whatever they want. So personal gyms, offices, craft rooms are popular.

So the kids go to uni or the kids just move out of home. Yeah. into whatever they want. So personal gyms, offices, craft rooms are popular. So the kids go to uni or the kids just move out of home, move in with someone, go flatting, whatever. Parents are waiting 2.7 years to make that their own room. Yeah. Huh. I mean, that's a real moment when it changes. Saturday the 7th of September. Okay, so two years.

If you moved out on January, it's 36.4 weeks. If you moved out in January, they'd probably set aside the weekend of the Saturday, the 7th and 8th of September. And then change it. The first weekend of September to make the change. I don't have my original childhood room anymore because my parents

moved a couple of years ago. They burnt the house down, claimed insurance and built a new house. And so it's weird when I go home. What was your childhood bedroom? I imagine it was like sterile. You know when you see a movie about Soviet Russian agents and they live in like a real sterile steel framed

bed, like a light green bed sheet. What? No. Real sterile. I can't imagine you having like too many posters. No, I had posters. Lino floor.

What were your posters of? I don't know, just like music and stuff. Cage over the window. Cage. Where did you think I lived? A little slot in the door so your parents could put your tray through. You're mean to my old childhood home. You know what my room looked like.

Yeah, I know. What did it have? Some nice doors on it. Yeah, it had French doors, so you could go out for a wee in the middle of the night. Off the deck. But my parents knew because the grass started growing better in this one spot,

and they were like, we know what you've been doing, but the toilet was upstairs. Yeah, but they can't be mad at you. The grass was green. Exactly, fertiliser. Yeah, right. My parents have not changed my room.

My room is still... And you haven't lived at home for like, because what are you, like 15? I mean, like the handsome posters are not on the wall anymore. But like my room is still there. The colour I chose to paint it is, it's still purple. So you've been out of there, what, 32 years? I can't remember now. You were my sister, because you were about the same age as my sister.

She got to choose the colours in her room. She went purple and yellow as well. Yeah. And my parents were like, and they didn't override. No, I'm sure it's yellow now. Yeah. No, they've since wallpapered it. Oh, right.

But my brother's room is like the work room and the office. It's been turned into something else. That's what my old bedroom got turned into as well. The computer room. Yeah. A treadmill room. How much was the treadmill used? Oh, no, the treadmill's outside now.

Initial purchase. Exercise bike. It's in the garage. A cot and a single bed. So all the grandchildren have a place to live. Right, okay. She's everything. Literally jam-packed.

Can I ask, intern Anya, you just moved out of home to go flatting with your boyfriend. Have your parents turned your room into anything yet? Within about two weeks, I was told that I could come back and stay in the Hamptons suite. What's a Hamptons suite? They bought an eggshell blue duvet cover and

painted the walls white. And now whenever I go over there, they're like, oh, on Booking.com you can rent out the Hamptons suite if you like every time. Because they went for a Hamptons suite, if you like, every time. Because they went for a Hamptons theme, your white, your soft colours. And they do that. That's quite a hoot, do they? They do. Every time I visit.

Do they have some seashells on the dresser? It's only a matter of time. Or a rope or something nautical. Oh, mum loves seashells. Or like a poster that says life is short. Yeah, and a knot in a frame. Like a rope knot in a frame. They'll have three of those

and the knots will be called different things. It's like, who ties a knot these days? Not enough people. 0800DARLS.am, we want to take your calls this morning and text, what did your parents turn your room into? And did they wait the standard 2.7 years or did they do it as soon as you moved out? So that you had no option, you couldn't come back.

You couldn't come back. Because that would be a power play from the parents, turning your room into something else. Because yeah, you're not coming back. Yeah. Good luck to you. Good luck to you, yeah. 0800-9666.

What did your parents turn your old bedroom into? The average parent, it turns out, in a study, is waiting 2.7 years until they turn their kid's bedroom into something. We want to know from you this morning what your parents turned your old bedroom into, because it can hurt. Yeah. Because you move out of home, but then you come back,

maybe for Christmas, and your room is a hobby room or something. And you want to know it's there for a backup, just in case. Exactly. What if I want to move home? Yeah, what if you... But your parents have kept yours. Yeah, obviously.

My brother's screwed. He's also older than me so he should have his life sorted. That's just how it works with older brothers. We'll take some calls. Kat, what did your parents

turn your old bedroom into? Well, good morning. I came back from uni from Dunedin probably like a couple of months after I moved down there and I was so excited and mum was like, oh hello hello! And then she was like, you can't stay in your bedroom, we have turned it into a bathroom. A bathroom!

That's quite a large change. Not even like a hobby room or anything like you were talking about, a bathroom. So yeah, you're definitely not moving home, are you? With that kind of power play. So where did you... I know. Was there somewhere else for you to sleep? Yeah, yeah, there was. We had a couple of spare bedrooms.

But the thing that really got me was that my brother's room was fine. Yeah, they should have... Yeah, but maybe yours was closer to plumbing or something. I don't know. What happened to the old bathroom? Oh, we still kept it. It was quite like a big old house. So they had enough room to, you know,

destroy bedrooms and put bathrooms in there instead. So, yeah. That hurts. That hurts. And they didn't once tell you in a Skype call or a call home while you're at uni, hey, look, we're just undergoing some renos at the moment. They waited till you were home.

Yeah, at the airport. Ruthless. Ruthless. That is ruthless. That is amazing. Kat, thanks for your call. Elena, what did your parents turn your old bedroom into? Hi, so I had a very similar case to Megan

where they haven't touched my room and it's been six years since they moved out of home. But about two weeks after my older brother moved out, they immediately changed his room into my mum's a music teacher, so she's turned it into a teaching room. And that kind of hit close to home for him, but then I never thought much of it until a few months

ago, when they've actually renovated other rooms of the house to make more space for like an exercise space and a work space, but my room hasn't been touched. Princess. You're the favourite. Are you the only daughter? I am. Yeah.

Are there multiple sons? No, just one. Oh. Oh. She's got to have. That's got to be a hard pill to swallow. You can definitely tell your brother you're the favourite. Yeah, exactly.

Thanks for your call, Elena. Some text messages. Have they drawn like Hitler moustaches and stuff on your brother's face in like family photos? I mean, that's a fair sign that they don't like. Like dicks on his face and stuff. They're like, mum, please stop throwing penis out on someone's face. It's very immature. Some text messages.

I turned my son's room into a shoe room and the other into an office. He came back so he had to sleep in the dining room. I need a whole room for shoes. You've got too many shoes. You don't need a shoe room. Didn't you do a shoe clean out a while ago? Yeah, only because I was forced to. Oh, okay, right.

I bet she's almost replenished those supplies in the meantime. Oh, yeah, I have. My sister moved out. My mum turned her room into a sewing room and library. When my sister's flatting situation fell apart six weeks later, there was a lot of grumbling and whinging coming from mum because she had to give up her space. So mum was upset.

She claimed that space. Now, we've had more than one message about parents turning their rooms into grow rooms. Within a week, my dad had turned my room into an indoor hydroponic situation for his tomatoes. What? And somebody else said, my mum, a well-respected, very well-presented businesswoman, turned my bedroom into a grow room. It was a year of the door being blocked off before I'd had enough and went and had a look what was going on behind it.

Full-grown tent and plants. Did not see it coming. Oh, my God. Imagine that. It's different if you know that your parents are into that, but if you had no idea and you come home and just discover the grow room, that's really something. Somebody said, I always

slept in the basement in a makeshift bedroom, but when I moved out, it got turned into the family grow room. That's another multiple people doing the growing. Somebody said our outdoor room that I grew up in and slept in, when I moved out, my parents put six dog crates in my old room

and it became like a place where they'd look after dogs like a kennel. Right. Well, that's nice. Do you think the parents with grow rooms are still like, turn the light off. What do you leave the whole light on for? Again. Yeah.

Don't leave the hot water tap running When you're not using it Don't turn it on and then walk away So it warms up, you waste so much hot water We've got to make sure Our electricity bill doesn't spike So no one is What am I trying to say Our suspicions are not raised

Aroused That was a weird answer Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far are not raised. Yes, aroused. That was a weird one. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay.

Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. Yesterday, I picked the girls up from school, and we had to go a different way than usual afterwards because we had to go fill up the gas bottles, which is the reason we went the different way than usual. Okay. Because we're living outside at the moment. You're in the camper van. We're in the caravan and the outdoor rooms.

Got one of them gas hot water situations, so the gas bottles needed refilling. Okay. And I didn't want to do swap a bottle because I feel like unless your gas bottle's totally empty,

you're not getting the value, right? I hate that. Yeah, the swap a bottle because the thing about the swap a bottle is you're like, do we have enough for a barbecue?

This grill's going to be running a long time. Yeah. But when it runs out and the barbecue turns off, you know you've used it all. Yeah, but then it's too late if you're halfway through

the preparation so you want to be prepped, which comes as a surprise that I would prepare for anything, but barbecuing is very important to me. Yeah. And so you want to have that prepped and ready to go, but then if you swap it and there's still some in the bottom, they don't take that into account. Yeah, you're losing out.

You're losing out. That's why I like a fill. Yeah. Anyway, so we were going to go fill that. So the girls jumped in the car. We're parked behind another car. And immediately when we get into the car and I put the seatbelt on and I look ahead, the car in front of us, very dusty back windscreen.

Yeah. Okay. I took a photo. Are you bringing up a photo for reference? I'm bringing up a photo for reference of what was written on the back of the windscreen. Like, clean me. I'm so dirty. If it only had been clean me,

Megan, what does that say? Fletch? Oh, can I? I mean, okay, so there's a picture of a DNB. A CNB. Male genitalia. It looks like some dust is coming out of it. And it says

on top of that, owner is thirsty. So. Wow. Ind that, owner is thirsty. So. Wow. Indy, my oldest daughter, says to me, what does that say, Dad? And I said, oh, I don't know. I can't read it because the writing's, it's in dust. It's quite hard to write. And she says, I can read it.

It says, owner is thirsty. And I was like, oh, God. No, but there's an easy explanation for that. But then that's good because she can read. Yeah. Yeah. So that's good. But she's also reached that age where I can't lie about things anymore

because she'll be able to read them. She's like, owner is thirsty. What does that mean? And I was like, well, see how dusty the car is. It's dry and the owner's thirsty. You know, when you get dry and when it's dusty. That was terrible. Why don't you just say they need a drink?

You'd be thirsty. Yeah, just say they were thirsty. But that's what I was getting to. I was like, the owner is the person who drives the car and they're thirsty for a drink. And then the thing under it is a drink bottle. Yeah. That's being squeezed. No, she said, what's that underneath?

I was like, I don't know. And she's like, I think it's a drink bottle. That's being squeezed. No, she said, what's that underneath? I was like, I don't know. And she's like, I think it's a penis. And I said, okay. So I couldn't, she read it, she read the writing and then August is like, why is there a penis on a car? And I said, I don't

know. And then he said, it's got nothing to do with the owner being thirsty. Why wouldn't you write owner is thirsty on that side if you wanted a drink so badly? Put the penis on the other side. Also, they had no problem with the drawing of the penis being on the car, just preferably on the other side. Well, I think, and then once they thought it was funny, and then they were like, can we draw a penis on this car?

Because our car's dusty. I was like, nope. Oh, why not? Other people get to draw penises on cars. You know they're going to do it. There'll be plenty of time for that. Yeah, you know it's going to happen. And then, because we were going a different way to usual,

to fill the gas bottles, because I don't like the swap, unless they're completely empty. Well, neither. We were stuck right behind that car for ages in traffic. And it was just like, I think the conversation would be over. And then you'd be like, and then I'd hear, why a penis though? Because the woman driving doesn't have a penis.

They should have drawn boobs. Wow. Or a vagina. Okay. I was like, I don't know. I can't. Well, maybe we'll ask. No, you don't ask.

I know. Then you're like, oh, maybe we'll ask. And then the traffic stops and they're like, hop out and ask. I was like, oh, no, because the traffic could move. The traffic could move again. Hope she gets a drink. I was like, yeah, me too. We have someone on the show who would like to make an announcement.

A personal announcement. Yeah. A personal statement. Well, she's more been forced to do this because she's getting a lot of questions coming in. Yeah, and also from Fletch is forcing me to do this. Nah. I mean, you're excited, right? Are you excited?

I'm excited for you to, you're sure? Okay, do I just say it? The floor is yours. This is so, like, I'm not very good at this stuff. Okay. So, I am now single. And anyone that has been seeing me on Bumble and have seen through, I know it's really lovely that you're concerned that I had a boyfriend and was on Bumble.

But no, I am on Bumble because I'm single. And I... So lots of people have been like screenshotting it and messaging you being like... I know we've had so many messages like, oh my God, you need to tell Caitlin someone's using her photos on Bumble. Yeah.

And we're all like, well, it's... Do you have an activator account? Actually, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So... Because you did go on, it's actually her. Yeah. Yeah. So, um. Because you did go on about it for a while. That I had a boyfriend. You had a boyfriend. Yeah. So you kind of, yeah. No, I was going on. And unfortunately that broke

up as these things happened. But that's just life, isn't it? That happens. Moving on. And it was a very sad time, but I've finally come to the conclusion that I'd finally come to the conclusion that I'd quite like to date some people again, maybe. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend

because I'm definitely not going through a breakup again. That's horrible. Have you guys been through one of those? It's terrible. So, yeah, I'm just wanting to go on some dates, meet some new people. And Caitlin has been running us through some of the guys on her bumble. Vaughan, you're not like anyone.

It's a shallow pool out there. You are the most judgmental of people's partners. Hey, this is Caitlin. If it was you, Megan, I'd be like, look, take what you can get. But this is Katie. This is our Katie. I don't think any man's going to measure up any of these jokers, any of these joke blogs.

It's so nice that you say this on air, but when we were like talking about it off air, you're like, oh, yeah. That guy needs a haircut. And I don't like his tattoo. What's wrong with you, Caitlin? I'm in dad mode. Which one had a tattoo? I didn't see which one had a tattoo. I love a tattoo.

Oh, my God. Depends what it's of. I'm really... Are we talking about myself? Not really, but, yeah, we can go back to that. I'm actually super star... Like, well done, New Zealand boys on Bumble. What?

What do you mean? We stepped up since last time I was on there. Oh, God, horndogs back here. No, they're great. No, it hasn't. You're just thirsty. Stepped up how? Just really good talent, good arrange.

Well, do you think people are becoming single for summer? I don't know. That's a trend, isn't it? Spring? Maybe. Now, how's it going on Bumble? Really good. I got a phone number last night.

How many chats have we got going on at the moment? Four or five. That's good. Wait, this phone number last night. How many chats have we got going on at the moment? Four or five. That's good. Wait, this is what... Oh, hey, how's it going? That was just an Instagram chat. Born once, better for his Katie. Born once, better banter for his Katie.

Absolutely, that's not even a name. You're an interfering dad. Leave her to it. This is what we rolled all the other times when I was really single because I would talk about it. So I probably just. And you talk about it with these two.

I know. But it's fun. Well, Vaughn. Thank you, Megan. Fletch is one of the girls. He's I. But Megan's good because. Kidding me?

His taste is appalling. You need, if you need. That's the thing. You don't want to get into another relationship. Well, I mean, I don't, well, obviously time's ticking as well. Are you about to explode? Yeah, I am. My ovaries are exploding.

I don't know. Summer's fun and then you're like, oh, winter. Well, yeah, I guess with the announcement, just if you do see Katie on Bumble, it's her. Yeah, don't be alarmed. My best friend slash Caitlin's flatmate just texted and said, oh man, she's going to have some visitors at the house this week, isn't she?

Excuse me, Ellen Rosemary, just because you're in Melbourne, she won't know. Nah, I'm not going to do that. No, I'm not going to do that. Come, I'm not going to do that. Come on. I might go on a date. I'm quite excited to meet some new people. This is good. I feel

a weight off our chest having told people. Shoulders. Weight off my chest? It's a weight off your shoulders. What's the thing on my chest? Your boobies. It's your boobies. I don't know. What, your boobies? What's your boobies? I don't know. Okay.

Whatever. Yeah. I feel like a weight's lifted off my chest or my boobies. One of the two. That's good. I'm glad that's happened for you, Megan.

Am I a bad person? Today is short and sweet and interesting. Okay. Am I a bad person? This comes from a girl who wishes to remain anonymous, as they always do. My boyfriend... What's your point of view?

I'm not a girl. No, I don't have any time frames for this. Yep. My boyfriend broke up with me to date my best friend, and now they're getting married. So you imagine that some time's passed. It's been a year or two at least. Yeah, surely. Yeah.

We're all on pretty good terms now. Remember that. Yeah. This is where it gets interesting. But she has asked me to be bridesmaid and I feel weird about it. Am I a bad person

for saying no to being her bridesmaid? And to be honest, I don't really want to go to the wedding at all. Not at all. I kind of think you've obviously got a good enough relationship to be asked

to be the bridesmaid. Your time to say something was a long time ago. You think she should do it and she is a bad person. I just think if you had a problem way back at the beginning is when you should have said something. Nah, it's all about the long play. Say you'll be bridesmaid

and then on the day, you just don't turn up. I don't know. I think I'd just... Let the wedding fall into chaos and watch the world burn. I don't think I could have been her friend from when that happened. I just would have cut her. Do we have a time front? No. But surely it's got to at least be a couple of years.

Or yeah, some amount of time for them to be getting married. But she does say we're all on pretty good terms now. But obviously pretty good terms, but doesn't want to be involved. It's one thing to be friends with your exes. Like, you break up amicably after maybe you've been together a long time and you can be friends. I mean, that's hard for some people to understand. But, like, that's... He broke up with her to date her best friend. Yeah, friends. I mean, that's hard for some people to understand, but like that's...

He broke up with her to date her best friend. Yeah, that is like, that's rough. That's a real betrayal. Like, you got dumped for your best friend. So... That's on the best friend. But then also think of the best friend to be like... Yeah.

Yeah. But they've obviously remained matey, good enough that she would want her to be a bridesmaid. I don't know how people do that, because I'd just be, nah, I couldn't do it. Yeah. But you think that she's left it too long and she needs to do this. Well, you need to go to the wedding. You can't watch your ex who broke up with you

for your best friend. No, but they're all friends. I know, but it's so weird. We're all on good terms now. But they're obviously not on good terms. That's fake good terms. So she's faking it.. We're all on good terms now. But they're obviously not on good terms. That's fake good terms. So she's faking it. If they were on good terms, then it would be like a no-brainer.

You'd do the bridesmaid thing. You'd go to the wedding. They're obviously not on good terms. It's fake good terms. I just think like if you're... Are you telling me that women would keep up a facade with someone they don't like? Don't say women. Guys might do this too.

It's just we seem to be more open about it. Or do it more? Yeah, okay. So women. Is that what you say? He's sticking with it. He's doubling down on that one. I haven't met any guys that have admitted to doing that, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

No, that's true. You'd be right there. I don't think she's a bad person. If I was her, I wouldn't do it. Because also, like, you know that everyone knows the situation at that wedding, right? There'd be people looking at you like, how long was she with the boyfriend? Oh, yeah, that's a good question. They just were like, what if it was really casual, but this person we're hearing from, their side of the story is it was a lot more serious, but this other guy was like, oh,

it was just like a super casual couple of weeks. But what if it was like two years, three, four years, it was serious? That's pretty intense. And then he breaks up and then pretty quickly gets with the... Yeah. Yeah, but enough time has passed now and they're still talking, just...

Okay, well, we're torn on this. Let's see what you think. 0800 DARS at M, 9696 to text through to the studio. Maybe you've been in this situation like I don't think she needs to be

bridesmaid but like she should go I think she should go because obviously they're friends but then if you're going you may as well be

the bridesmaid so you get more stuff paying for you and then you don't have to worry about what you're wearing exactly what if she makes

them pay for their dresses though because they can keep them afterwards? You can totally wear these. You can totally wear them. You never wear those again. Clean the oven.

What? Oh, you use it to clean the oven? I'd use it to make it into chamois. I don't know if it would be abrasive enough. 0800DARLS.M9696. Is she a bad person? And maybe you've been in this situation. Share your stories.

Give us a call now. Am I a bad person? And maybe you've been in this situation. Share your stories. Give us a call now. Am I a bad person? Okay, so it's a short and sweet one today. This person wants to know, are they a bad person? My boyfriend broke up with me to date my best friend. No timelines here, but they are getting married. We're all on pretty good terms now,

but she's asked me to be the bridesmaid, and I feel weird about it. Am I a bad person for saying no to being the bridesmaid and I feel weird about it. Am I a bad person for saying no to being her bridesmaid? And to be honest, I don't want to go to the wedding at all. So I'm just looking at the poll that's on our Instagram page. Am I a bad person for saying no? 94% say no, not a bad person. So I get that. But my thing is, she's obviously kept up a ruse. She hasn't gotten over it, but she's kept up a ruse of friendship. And if you think when you ask someone to be in your bridal party, you're obviously pretty good friends. So the other person is completely unaware of how she's feeling.

She should have told her a long time ago, you hurt me. Yeah. Rather than kept up this fake friendship. I do get that point. Like, personally, I wouldn't be there. This person, I wouldn't still be their friend. Yeah, yeah, get that point. Like, personally, I wouldn't be there. I wouldn't still be their friend. Yeah, yeah, no, neither. So she is a bad person.

Suck it up, buttercup. If you're not willing to let go of an old relationship that obviously didn't work out in exchange for your friend's happiness, are you really okay with them being together at all? Two of my best friends are marrying my exes and I'm made of honour at both weddings. Wouldn't miss them walking down

the aisle for the world. That's the thing, move on, get over it. I don't actually think it's a bad thing to date

other people's exes, but you can't dump them and then date the best friend straight away. There's like a grace period.

That's happened to this woman twice. After one you'd be like, ouch. After the next one you'd be like, what is going on? But your friend

obviously has great choice. Like a Kaimanawa horse, she breaks them in and then sells them off. It's a weird analogy, but I like it. Rachel, is she a bad person? No, definitely not. Okay. So do you think she should go to the wedding or not? Well, it's her choice, but if she doesn't want to go,

she just has to live with the consequences that obviously that good relationship could be gone Yeah There's obviously going to be some falling out if she doesn't go but that's probably a conversation they need to have Plus why does she have to worry about their feelings when they didn't worry about hers when they split up Yeah

That's true but I'm just more concerned like why is she just faking this friendship Or maybe she's not faking it they split up. Yeah. That's true. But I'm just more concerned, like, why is she just faking this friendship? Or maybe she's not faking it, but there's a difference between being okay with it in theory versus literally

front row seat to the pronunciation. That's so true. The other friend obviously thinks they're pretty good friends, though, to be asking her to be the bridesmaid. Or it's a pity invite

because they used to be best friends and she feels like she's obligated. I know there's so much going on. Great call. Thanks, Rachel. There's so much going on under the surface.

Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. Now, this has happened to you. Yes. Yes, it has. So do you think she's a bad person? Honestly, I don't think so. But I think she shouldn't

be friends with her anymore. I think she should just cut it off. So is that what happened in your situation? So I was dating this girl for two years. And then my best friend and her started seeing each other behind my back. Anyway, we ended up splitting up, obviously. I didn't know they were seeing each other. And then four years later, they're still together.

And they've decided they're getting married and all that stuff so yeah no even if today even if she reached out to me and was like look I'm really sorry just no no no okay cut them off major betrayal of friendship but yeah that's my main point is I don't understand why she's still friends with her yeah because I mean you cut them off and then you can move on with your life, can't you? Yeah, exactly. Like, this, yeah, no, it's kind of lying to the bride in a way. But then also you've got to think about that other girl's feelings. Like, I feel quite bad for her. Yeah, I just can't imagine her standing at that wedding and everyone's looking at her like, could have been you.

Yeah. It would be like breaking in a Kaimanawa horse, selling it to someone, and then they invite you to its first equestrian event. It's like Angelina Jolie. And Mark Todd's riding it. Angelina Jolie asking Jennifer Aniston to be her bridesmaid. Yes, when she should have asked the Kaimanawa horse. Weird analogy, but I like it. Some more text messages. At least today on the show,

my guarantee is five more references of the Kaimanawa horses. We've literally only got four least today on the show, my guarantee is five more references of the Climber. We've literally only got four breaks left on the show. Baby, you watch me. Okay. Any more text messages? Have we covered that sufficiently? Somebody said, I've been in a very similar situation, even when we're on good terms. What that meant was that we were civil and kind to each other.

Yeah. I went to the wedding with my now husband, but it didn't make it less painful. Right. It still brought back some painful memories of my friend going behind my back. Yeah. And started going out with a guy that broke up with me, and then they started seeing each other. It felt quite insensitive. Also, what about that situation when you've had a couple of wines,

because they're free, maybe you've had four, and then the heartfelt speeches start? Like, how's that situation when you've had a couple of wines, because they're free, maybe you've had four, and then the heartfelt speeches start. Like, how's that going to go down? Like a Kaimanawa horse, you are somewhat domesticated now, but inside you there is a stallion that wants to run wild,

buck its legs and kick over a champagne table. Yeah. Four more to go. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a Dutch Christmas song. Okay. A Dutch Christmas song called Flappy. This was written and originally released

in 1978 by Joep van't Hek. It actually got flappy. I can begin playing it in the background. Oh, okay. Hmm. So, this is him singing the song in the background. It was Christmas morning, 1961. I still remember it so well. So this is him singing the song in the background.

This is apparently based on a real Christmas story. Oh, okay. And this is a really popular Dutch Christmas song. Every year around Christmas, they start playing it on the radio. Is this our Snoopy's Christmas? Or is this our Mariah? Snoopy's Christmas is way more popular in New Zealand than Mariah? Snoopy's Christmas is... Did we learn it's way more popular in New Zealand than anywhere else in the world?

Yeah. So, I guess so. This is the Dutch Snoopy's Christmas. When this comes on the radio, people are like, I can't believe it! Doesn't sound as catchy as Snoopy's Christmas.

It doesn't have any... Got a great story. What are you speaking, Dutch? Jingle bells or anything. He's telling a heartfelt story. Okay are you speaking Dutch? Jingle bells or anything. Ching, ching, ching. Got the island. Ching. He's telling a heartfelt story. Okay. So this tells the story.

And a reminder, this is on the radio all the time. Yeah. Around Christmas. He talks about waking up on Christmas morning in 1961. Yeah. And he looked in his rabbit's cage to find out that Flappy, his rabbit, was gone. Goodness. He went to his mother and he said,

Mother, I can't find Flappy. Yeah. And she said, you'll have to wait for your father, but he's busy in the shed. But if you just go off and play, you'll get a treat later. He's like, I feel so guilty about my rabbit. And he went off and played. He's like, did I not lock the gate? Yeah.

Has my poor rabbit been frozen overnight in the snow? And then eventually his dad comes in and he says, Dad, I can't find Flappy. And he's like, I'll help you look. And they go around and they look out in the lake. Yeah. The forest and they can't find any signs of Flappy. Oh, God, where's this going? During Christmas Day, the meal comes out to the table.

The main dish is put in front of him and the father announces, I found Flappy. He ate Flappy for Christmas lunch? He ate Flappy for Christmas lunch? He ate flappy for Christmas lunch. So this is the Dutch popular Christmas song. Good lord. And then he's angry so he storms off the bed saying, leave us my pet, how do

you eat it? The end of the song, which we can hear happening at the moment, is about Boxing Day 1961. Okay. Where his mother said, your father's bed is empty. Do you know where he is? And he said, don't go out to the shed and if you go off and play, you'll get a treat later.

Okay. Meaning he murdered his father. So, to recap, to recap, this Dutch Christmas carol has as much kick as a recently caught Kaimanawa horse. It's a Christmas song that plays on the radio.

You know the happy Snoopy's Christmas. It's happy. World War I. It's like, let's stop killing each other. He doesn't beat the Red Baron. Oh, doesn't he? The Red Baron has mercy. Oh, do they become friends?

Remember, he's like, Merry Christmas to all. Merry Christmas, my friend. Yeah. Happy. It's like the, my friend. Yeah. Happy. It's like the sides stopped fighting. Yeah. This is unlike you. This made me tingle.

To offer this up. A Christmas song? Yeah. I'm just in the mood today. What got you in the mood? Yeah. What's happened to you? Oh, God, you're not dying, are you?

What? I love Snoopy're not dying, are you? I love Snoopy's Christmas. What are you talking about? Famously, you ate all Christmas songs. I was about to come and fill your forehead. It's a happy song. It's a happy song. I feel that we needed this after that horrific tale of eating a rabbit for Christmas and then murdering his dad.

What's wrong with the Dutch? So this one's happier. I don dad. What's wrong with the Dutch? I don't know what's wrong with the Dutch. That's coming up soon. We've got to get to the ding, ding, ding. Fast forward to the ding, ding, ding bit because I'm pretty much done. Is this affecting our Christmas penetration? Oh, no.

Nah, it's because this has been played in comedy. Did I miss a ding, ding, ding? Just play this for us. Those Christmas bells rang up from the... This doesn't affect Christmas Penetration because it's been played in captivity. Oh, right, okay. It's when you see... In reference.

It's when you see Snoopy in the wild running on the Kaimanawa Ranges, much like a wild Kaimanawa horse, two to go, you would add that to Christmas Penetration. So today's fact of the day, and by the way, that flappy song, so there's Dutch radio station horse, two to go, you would add that to Christmas penetration. Okay. So today's fact of the day, and by the way, that Flappy song, so this Dutch radio station, Radio 2.

Bells. They start, okay. I love the bells. Yes. Jesus, what has happened to you? Carry on. It starts on Christmas, this countdown, they do the top 2,000 songs. Yeah.

And Flappy has appeared every year since 2003. It's seen Metallica. Why did Metallica release a Christmas song? They probably have somewhere in the mix. So today's fact of the day is a very popular Dutch Christmas song. It has Rabbit Murder, Eating of a Pet

and eventual Boxing Day Father Side. What do you call it when you kill your dad? Ah, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Robert and eventual Boxing Day father-side. What do you call it when you kill your dad? Paternicide. Patternicide. Robert Pattinson. Paternicide.

Parasite. Parasite. Parasite, yeah. Parasite. Oh, no, patricide. Patricide. And matricide. And matricide. Yeah.

That's where you flip over your mattress to get to the cold side. You're off your mother. Yeah. Patricide. And mattress-ide. Yeah. That's where you flip over your mattress. No, it's where you get to the cold side. You're off your mother. Yeah. This is really dark. I blame true crime. Go back to Snoopy's. Oh, no.

We're Mr. Bells. We're Mr. Bells. That'll do. You done? Yeah, yeah. Is it time for the outro? Fact of the day, they call it like, you know how we've got the Department of Conservation?

Yeah, that's my favourite government department. Is it? Yeah. Oh, I don't have a favourite. I don't know if I've ever thought that we needed a favourite government department. You know who? Oh, what about when I was on the Benny, I liked Wins? That was my favourite because it gave me money. What are they called now though?

They're not called that anymore. I don't know. They change the name every two years. I can't keep up. Yeah. Children and Benefits or something? Is that it? Children are a separate one.

Oh, okay. I'm unsure. Well, anyway, their interior department is like, I guess they're in charge of the national parks in America. They are at the moment reviewing recommendations to modernise campgrounds the national parks in America. They are at the moment reviewing recommendations to modernise campgrounds and national parks. Because obviously, you know, not enough people are camping. People are just Netflixing and staying inside and not camping.

And getting chubby. Whereas I'm all down for, I love our national parks. Like, you know, we've been to a lot of the huts, haven't we, Vaughan? Nearly burnt one down. Yeah. I love them. I don't like the walking there. Okay, been to a lot of the huts, haven't we, Vaughan? Nearly burnt one down. I love them. I don't like the walking there. Okay, that's a problem.

But then not all campsites you can drive up to a campsite. Yeah, that's true. I like those ones. Amazing campsites in the far north of New Zealand. All over the place you can just pull up to, pitch a tent. Easy. You're away. But to get more people there, they are talking about such recommendations as Wi-Fi, hot. You're away. But to get more people there, they are talking about such recommendations

as Wi-Fi, hot showers and food trucks. Food trucks? I was like, Wi-Fi? No, it's good to get away. It's good to get away, but it's also like that freaks a lot of people out. I know my wife freaks out if we go away and she's

not in reception and someone else has got the kids. And she's like, I need to be contactable someone else has got the kids. Oh, right. And she's like, I need to be contactable if something happens for the kids. Yeah, right. Okay, I can kind of understand that. What did you say? Wi-Fi, food trucks and what? Food trucks, though.

I was about to poo-poo it all, but then I was like, food trucks. Hot showers. How good would that be? You like, wake up, you're like, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Yeah, I'll have a breakfast taco. Are those your churros at this time of day or is it? That's what I love about when you go away camping in the huts, you make your own food.

Yeah. Like make a damper on the barbie. A damper? On the barbie. You make a damper over the open fire, don't you? You don't make it over the fire. But just don't make a damper. You can make anything you want.

Make griddle scones on the barbie. You don't have to eat like that, Megan. You can eat anything. Like yum foods. But that's like, yeah, I agree. You don't have to eat like that, Megan. You can eat anything. Like, yum foods. But that's like, yeah, I agree. You don't want a food truck there. But you say this, but when's the last time you went camping? Because you and Mr. Toyboy, you wouldn't do camping, either of you.

We don't own sleeping bags. We don't own a tent. We don't own anything that you would require. You've glamped, though. When? I'm asking. Oh, no. Have You've glamped though. When? I'm asking. Oh, no. Have you not glamped?

No. Megan hates you. You're never tense. Megan never comes bush. There's a tent there. Oh, no. I haven't done mine. And it looks really flash on Instagram. That's why people were doing that.

Okay, I'll do that. Yeah. We had a caravan when I was little. Does that count? It was so hot showers. I'm not going anywhere. That's a basic need. A hot shower.

You shower in the ocean. No. And then afterwards when I get out, I need a hot shower. I need to wash my hair. Absolutely not. I'm not going anywhere that doesn't have a shower. Excuse me. That's like a basic need.

What about a solar shower? Because you can get those solar showers. You get there, you fill it up. Yeah, can get those solar showers. Does it heat up? Yeah, you lay it in the sun and it heats up. I'm thinking of a thing we could do on the show where Megan goes camping and then we listen in to her experience. It would be hilarious. No, I'd just be whinging the whole time.

We'll get you a bougie tent. Okay. Okay. Can I have a mattress? No, absolutely not. What do you sleep on? Serious question. Well, you can get air-beds and stuff.

E-beds. Oh, they always go down. Depends. We'll get you like a $4 Kmart roll. It's like a yoga mat. They've got like the little mattresses there. Depending on what one you go to. Like are they soft?

Ish. Yeah. So everyone uses the same mattress? Yeah, they're kind of like in a hard, kind of like a gym mat material. Yuck. Yeah, they're covered in case you wheeze, in case you do a wee on the bed, they're covered so they're easy to wipe. And what about a pillow?

What you do is you pack your clothes into your sleeping bag bag and you kind of like get that into pillow form. I've actually got a little air pillow, don't I? You do. I've got a little camping pillow. I actually drink a whole goon and then blow that up for me. And I always put, remember kids, nozzle down. Nozzle down because you woke up that morning, you had the goon nozzle imprint blow that up for me. Oh my God. Remember kids, nozzle down.

Nozzle down because you woke up that morning, you had the goon nozzle imprinted into your cheek. Yeah. And there was a time I went up my nose and then opened and I was like, and I was filled with Chardonnay gas. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Okay, so there's a new way to. Okay.

Okay. Actually, I don't want to say new way because people have been doing this for a little bit on the DL, making some money on Instagram. So the way you can do it is you can put custom... Well, you can buy custom filters that you put on editing apps.

So you might have found if you follow some like full-on influencers, they've released preset packages. So this is like when you go on Instagram and you're like X-Pro2 or what are the other ones called? Valencia. No one's using X-Pro2 anymore. But when Instagram first came out, everyone was like,

oh my God, X-Pro2. Valencia or Amaro. Yeah, all those ones. I can't remember. Yeah. I can't remember any more names, but you know them all. What's the ones I don't even see? Nashville.

Oh, a second on my one. It might not be on your one. Hefe. Does Hefe still exist? Hefe. Hefe. Do you want me to have a look? Yeah.

Hefe. I used to really like the second one. Clarendon. Clarendon. Oh, right. Okay. Gingham. Lark. Gingham style. Gingham. Lark.

No one's using Lark. God, Lark really blows stuff out. Ray Juno, Slumber, Creamer, Ludwig, Hayden. Guys, this is boring. So, no one really uses those much anymore. You don't really use the Instagram filters.

Done to death. Are you filtering your cows that you're putting on Instagram or are you just going, raw dog? The only time I... Raw dog. The only time I ever filter anything will be if I take a photo and I like it but the

thing at the front is dark and the background's too over lit. So you need to light it up. I just flick through until I find a filter that lights up the front bit a bit. And there's probably a way better way of doing that, right? Well, you can go into settings and yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Or use an app, sure.

Yeah, because a lot of people are using external apps now to filter their photos and then you put it back on Instagram so you don't use the Instagram filters. And now influencers are making preset packages for those editing apps that you then have to pay for. But are they making their own or are they just relabeling hairfare? Probably. And palming it off as something new and exciting, but it's not.

No, I think they're making their own. But the other thing is you can make your own as well. You just like fiddle with the grip. Yeah, fiddle with the settings. Fiddle with the settings yourself. And then save that as a filter. But like some of these packages are like 50 US dollars, and you get, you know, like a few presets.

I've seen New Zealand people doing this. Yeah, there's New Zealand influencers that are doing it. But the thing is, you're paying $50 rather than just going into the settings yourself and wiggling the lines until you find something. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Get fire-wise.

Get scam-wise. That's a scam, guys. Get Firewise. Get Scamwise. That's a scam. Yeah. What a scam. I'm sure someone would even have free ones online, right? Well, these apps, they have free default ones that you can use. And the thing is, like, people are obviously buying into that influencers. You know how they curate the feed so that everything looks similar.

It makes it all look, like like really light or really pinky. This is crazy. Unless you were living their lifestyle, your Instagram's not going to look like theirs. Yeah, your pictures of the cows are not going to be the same as like the influencers' photos in Bora Bora. Like no matter what filter you put on it. I'd rather be with my cows than in Bora Bora. Would you?

Bora Bora. Have you seen Bora Bora? Like it's pretty amazing. It looks expensive. And I can't afford Bora Bora because I blew my money on cows. I think one night is one cow. I wouldn't swap my cows for a night in Bora Bora. At all.

I wasn't suggesting that. I was just saying lay off the cows and you might be able to go to Bora Bora. I don't want to go to Bora Bora. The blues of the Bora Bora ocean would not compare in the least to the ginger brown of Hermione's long fur in the westerly breeze. You pack a filter on that one. You're spending too much time in the paddock, mate. You are.

Arguably not enough time. They still won't cuddle me. Are you still trying? Yeah, last night I gave them an, how is this for a bougie cow treat? Yeah. An apple dipped in molasses. Is that a cow toffee apple?

That's a cow chocolatey toffee apple. Yeah, right. And they still don't want to bar you. They were loving that. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.