ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 26 2018

Episode Date: October 25, 2018

Vaughan's spelling lessons, Don't Get Fletch Started and you couple costumes for Halloween.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Zed James. Zed James, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

It's one minute past six. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Gosh, what a short week it has been. Oh, it's dragged. Caitlin, why isn't the clock working? Why is it counting? It says seconds.

It's 20, 21, 22, 23. It says 21 seconds. Why is that? It normally says the time. It normally says that's where I get the time from. Oh, I thought Caitlin was just walking out. She was walking to a microphone. I thought she had enough. I'm about to walk out Caitlin was just walking out. She was walking to a microphone. I thought she had enough.

I'm about to walk out. I have had enough. You go on too long in your voice breaks and we need to start cutting them down. So this is a reminder to not go for eight or nine minutes. So that's one. Oh no, now I need to see it get to ten minutes.

What, reset it? I'm going for a new personal best, guys. We have to play ads and songs and just, can you just do it? What's our maximum? What's our glass ceiling that we've got to break through? Probably 99 hours, 99... No, 99 days, 99... Problems.

Yeah. But something resets it. What is it that resets it? I think it's when I turn my mic on. Try it. Okay, turn it off. Because Fletch turns his microphone off to cough all the time. It stopped.

Oh, it's reset! So when Fletch turns his microphone off, it pauses it. And as to let... It's like a knock telling the boss how long we talk for. And then when he turns it back on, it resets. So Fletch is always turning his microphone off to cough. And we've only been talking for one second. That's great.

That's some real passag shit to come to work to, isn't it? On a Friday. Ouch. Yeah. Take it up with Ross. You little shit. Whose flashback Friday is it today? That's mine. Okay.

That face suggests you haven't got any ideas. I knew I had to, but I've not thought of it. Alright, joining us on the phone before 7 this morning, Mumford & Sons calling through. Of course, they've got their gig happening at Western Springs in January.

They've got a new album out in November. I believe we're talking to Ted. The lovely Ted. He had the brain thing. Do you remember that

a few years ago? He did. He had a brain trimmer, didn't he? We've talked to him before. He's lovely. It wasn't a brain

trimmer. It was a brain bleed. Oh, was it? Yeah. I agree. Either way. But he's okay now, I agree. Yeah. Either way. But he's okay now, I believe. Yeah.

The Prime Minister's on the show today. Yeah, I'm going to. I'm calling through. I'm putting forward a private member's bill. What? What about? Sunscreen. What?

Did we get it for free? Why is it so expensive? Oh, yeah. That's a good one. That's a good idea. Yeah, that's a good idea. We've got some of the world's highest melanoma rates and there's no reason why that should be $25 for a pump bottle, right? It's Big Pharma, man.

I don't trust Big Pharma, man. It's Big Pharma. Hey, I tell you what I do trust, man. God, man, he grew weed, bro. Are you dealing with the sunscreen in the top six? Yes, I am. I'm dealing with that as well. Christchurch has put out some public sunscreen dispensers.

Great idea. Wonderful initiative. Yeah. And the top six other public dispensers we need. All right, coming up. Look at that. Minute 45 voice break. Great.

Tight, bright, and we're all white. I don't know. I just needed to rhyme it as well. I mean, it's bad. To be honest, we could use some diversity on the show. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time.

All right, I've got three news headlines. How many? Three. What? Three. As always, Vaughan, don't got three news headlines. How many? Three. What? Three. As always, Vaughan, don't be so cheeky. I'm just doing a reset. I'm just, you know, there might be people who are listening for the first time

and they don't know how many headlines that you have. And they want to know, is it consistently three? It's always three. Up to five. And what do we do with the three headlines? Well, you decide which one you want to talk about. Brilliant. So we only get one. But you're only allowed to pick one, though. Well, you decide which one you want to talk about. Brilliant. So we only get one.

But you're only allowed to pick one, though. Oh, you guys. What happens to the rest? Oh, we delete them. You're never allowed to find out. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Headline one, man one, spider zero, home zero. Headline two, army era in your favour. And headline three, only in Australia. I want one or three. You're going to get me with only in Australia almost every time, I think. Because you love the story. Army era in your favour, though. Yes.

Yes. No, only in Australia. Only in Australia. Three, please. Proceed. Okay, we go now to Australia and New South Wales. I didn't think we'd be going to Australia. You thought Brisbane?

No, I just thought Fiji. Okay. We're all in a cheeky mood, aren't we? Because it's Friday. Very cheeky. Well, if you kids are going to be stupid. We can go home without ice cream. Your father will turn the car around and there'll be no ice cream.

Did you say ice cream? Did you? Because in my immediate thought in my head was you're always threatened with no ice cream. No ice cream in the car ride. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we always stop for ice cream because we make a mess in the back of the Falcon. Even though we have one of those itchy as shit picnic blankets across the back seat.

Oh yeah. Oh, just the thought of those gives me the heebie-jeebies. I know, I know. The upholstery getting ruined by the kids.

Well, in New South Wales, Shane Swanscott, he recently was done DIC, drink driving. So he lost his licence, but Shane needed to get his boat to the water.

So he found what he thought was a loophole and he towed his boat to the water. Go on. With his mobility scooter. Yes, boy. How is that? There is a video that Nine News have shared of Shane towing quite a large boat. Like, how big would you say that is?

Like, that's the size of a van, isn't it? Six foot? No, no, no, no. It's way longer than six foot. I know because you're lying down in it. You wouldn't fit. No, yeah. Might be 12, 20 foot.

I don't know. Is it? 16 foot. 14 foot. I don't know. Is it? 16 foot. 14. 14 foot long boat. I bet if you read that story, I bet if you read that story, it'll say it. Because, you know, boat people get a real stiffy over length. Don't say stiffy.

It doesn't say. Pun not intended, but pun also intended. Well, apparently he told officers, he told Nine News that the officers uh slowed as they passed them before eventually rounding the corner and pulling them over he said i lost my license uh pretty much finished working on my boat at the same time i was going to push my boat down the uh street by hand um but i thought why not use the mobility scooter um because you've been told you're not allowed to drive on the right he's he get pinged? He's not been told his punishment, but I think he'll receive a fine for driving without his licence.

So was he allowed to drive the mobility scooter? But only on the footpath. Right. Yeah, so apparently him and his girlfriend, it says in the story, have been using the scooter to get around locally since his licence was revoked. Wonderful.

So if you're done DIC, get a mobility scooter. How lazy are you? They go a little bit faster than walking, but it can't be that much faster. Well, you get a bike, walk, get the bus, Uber. Yeah, there's options. You've done the crime. But yeah, I don't think he was drunk on the mobility scooter

because you can still be done D-I-T. Do you know what I overheard people yesterday talking with the Lime scooters? They were like, are you allowed to be drunk? Oh, I got sent a video of a gang of drunks in Christchurch over the weekend. They're like, I love your Lime scooters. Oh, no.

We're off home. And it's just like. They need everything where you blow into it. Or just like they shut down it. But you know about Sierra City, like you could be done, right? Or can't you? Because it's not a vehicle. Well, it would be the same as a bike.

You're not allowed to be drunk on a bike, right? And people have been done drunk on like right on lawnmowers. Yeah. So you would get done. But there's something about that class of vehicle it falls under if anyone is a

pole lace man or a pole lace woe man yeah pole lace officer I'd just love to know just pure I mean I don't want to

ride them when I'm drunk but because I have trouble enough when I'm sober yeah same especially Megan yeah we don't need you

doing another leg injury just out of interest I'd just love to know well they're not always going to say no Yeah, same. Especially Megan. Yeah. We don't need you doing another leg injury. Just out of interest. I'd just love to know. Well, they're not always going to say no. Obviously. I think we need to ask that defence lawyer that's always got the ad on the radio saying,

have you been caught drink driving? Give us a call. I'll get you out of it. Well, yeah, if you're a lawyer. Yeah. No, I'd just love to know what the law actually says about that. There's an article. I've just found an article that does and don'ts.

Of course it's not. A police spoke to him and said, with scooters being considered of other road or your footpath users, don't speed, don't drink and drive, and we would suggest wearing a helmet for your own safety. See, that's kind of like... But is it the law, though? She said, since the scooters were under 50cc, riders could not be charged for having excess breath of alcohol,

but there were potential charges a person on a scooter could face, such as endangering or reckless behaviour. So they could get you on something. So if you were really drunk, riding along like a fool, like an idiot, then they could pay you for that. Or if you crash into someone, you could get done with harming them with intent. Okay, well, you've been warned. If you have popped along to the Christchurch Botanical Gardens,

you may have seen a seagull or two impaled on a sculpture. There's a problem. What do you mean? I was wondering where this is going. We don't often bring up the Christchurch Botanical Gardens. Oh, well, you know, I love to talk about gardening. It's the one thing that myself and Maggie Barry could probably chat about without it

turning nasty. But I'd rather talk to Rud about bugs. So there's a sculpture by David McCracken it's called Diminish and Ascend. It's quite a cool staircase if you stand in a specific spot it looks like an infinity staircase like it starts in the lake by David McCracken. It's called Diminish and Ascend. It's quite a cool staircase. If you stand in a specific spot,

it looks like an infinity staircase. Like it starts in the light. I love those kind of sculptures. And it goes into the sky. It's quite cool. It gets smaller and smaller. And is it mirrors? No, no, no.

It's just literally a sculpture. Here, I have a picture for you. Oh, that's so cool. The stairs get smaller and smaller and smaller. And if you stand in a specific spot, it literally looks like an infinity staircase. That looks so great on the gram. It's just so cool. The stairs get smaller and smaller and smaller. And if you stand in a specific spot, it literally looks like an infinity staircase. That looks so great on the gram. It's a really cool sculpture.

I can't believe I haven't seen it on the gram. Well, next time we do. No, because you'll need a boat. You need a boat to get to the foot of those. No, no, you don't. Can you walk right to the bottom of it? Here is it from another angle. I mean, if you want to stand on it, you would have to get in the water.

That looks so cool. It's a cool sculpture. Why didn't we go to that on our scooters would have to get in the water. That looks so cool. It's a cool sculpture. Why didn't we go to that on our scooters the other day? Well, we ran out of time because Megan's ran out of batteries. And then we had to have trouble finding them. There was a whole raft of issues. But next time, I promise. Okay.

Thank you. We'll get an ice cream. We'll go and have a look at this sculpture. Okay. It's pretty cool. But what is it controversy? Well, because it's an infinity staircase, what happens is it starts as normal stairs

and then the stairs get smaller in height and width and step up. So it gives you the idea that from a perspective that they are getting smaller and further and further away. So it ends, it actually ends in a spike. Oh, okay. Like a very sharp spike. Yeah. Now seagulls are coming in to land

on the sculpture and impaling themselves on the end of it. Oh, no. Wait, how? Can they not see where they're going? Well, I don't know. From their perspective, it looks like the stairs are still a little bit way away or what?

Weird. Oh, so is it like altering it? They're just misjudging it completely because the idea is that it messes with your perspective from the other end to make it look like infinity stairs up. Right. So maybe from the top end coming down. It looks like they're further away. It looks like they're still further away.

They're stupid seagulls. Yeah, so you're prepping for a landing and just straight through it. Or should we be putting like a little rubber bung on the end of it? Well, that's what they say. You know like on building sites, they put the plastic things on the spiky metal so you don't impale yourself. Or like a little rubber bung on the end of it. Well, that's what they say. You know, like on building sites, they put the plastic things on the spiky metal

so you don't impale yourself. Or like a trailer, you need a little red flag on the end. Well, it wasn't a problem because this was in Sydney and on Waiheke Island before it settled in Christchurch. Okay. And I don't know, like Sydney and Waiheke have heaps of seagulls too. So maybe it's just wiping out the dumb ones.

I don't particularly have a problem with survival of the fittest. No, but then you don't want tourists, like, going around your botanical gardens looking at your sculptures and there's, like, a seagull impaled on some infinity stairs. Well, that's what McCracken himself has said. It's not really the image of dead birds bleeding down the end of my sculpture. Or for the gardens. So they're going to modify it.

How, though? Like, with a... So the most likely solution, he said, is cut the tip off. Oh, no! No! And wait, it gets worse, and replace it with silicon and then paint it to match. Oh, that's all right. So it's still going to have the tip.

So it wouldn't actually spike them. They'd just be like... That would be funny to watch. They'd just be like do-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo if they ever remake Police Academy With that guy they'll be like What sounds can you make? I can go And I can go Who's the cooler Korea?

North Korea or South Korea? Well, South Korea has Samsung Hyundai Hyundai, other things Many, many other things. I mean, North Korea, enough said. Guns. The bad Korea.

Wow. Dictatorship. Wow. This might change your mind a little bit. As you'll know, Canada has legalised recreational marijuana usage. I read heaps of places ran out. That's how crazy it was. I can't wait because they'll release soon the amount of tax it's generated.

Yeah. Because it's being sold legally, of course. There's a sales tax and everything on it now. I can't wait for them to release the stats of how many tax dollars have been generated by legal marijuana sales. So South Korea, you might be thinking, what's the link? Have they legalized marijuana? Far from it.

Far from it. Far from it. They have warned their students because there's many South Korean students and also citizens but they've got an agreement with Canada

an international student agreement that domestic law applies to them while they are in Canada and if they are caught smoking cannabis they will be punished upon their return home.

So then I'm allowed to do it in Canada? No. How many people are we talking here? A hundred? No, thousands apparently. 23,000 Koreans with student visas are living in Canada, according to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs data. So do you know what the punishment is in South Korea for smoking weed? I don't.

I don't know what the punishment is. I know that this is something, but all of South Korea's laws apply to its citizens no matter where they are in the world. No, but how are they going to know? You're in Canada. And the police are like, oh, yeah, whatever. I don't.

If you went away and you were a model student and you come back and you've got dreadlocks and you've got a Bob Marley flag as a cape. Right. Some hemp pants, primarily dressing in Rastafarian colours. That could probably raise some suspicions. But I didn't know, like, yeah,

if something's illegal in South Korea but legal in the country you're in, you can't do it. I mean, you can do it. This is getting quartered. A Korea Times article in 2014 noted that despite the risks of a prison sentence of up to five years

or a fine of about $48,000 US, cannabis could easily be bought in South Korea. Well, it's illegal here, isn't it? But it's easy enough to get your hands on. $48,000 US. And up to five years in prison. Good Lord. For weed. But they're doing it legally in another country.

They are, but illegally, as you're South Koreans, your domestic law applies to you anywhere in the world. Well, God, South or North Korea just don't sound any fun anymore. I know, NARC Korea. They were cool, Karina. The NARC Korea. The Top Six with Vaughn Smith. All right, in Christchurch, a group called Skin Can has decided

that they're going to put some free sunscreen dispensers around the city in a trial. We've got really high skin cancer rates in New Zealand and the cost of sunscreen and getting skin checks is a barrier for a lot of people. It's insane how much it costs. Isn't it? Sunscreen.

Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah. It's nuts how much it costs. Isn't it? Sunscreen. Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah. It's nuts how much it costs. Even getting like proper mole maps and stuff can be really expensive. That's really expensive too. Most GPs will give you a scan, give you a bit of a look over. Yeah.

For anything to keep an eye out for too if you're going to the GP for something else. They're going to install free sunscreen dispensers at three sites around the city. One, the Margaret Meher Family Playground, which is great news. Oh, that's great.

Great spot. The Botanical Gardens, which we're going to go to to see that seagull skewer. Yeah. A sculpture that we talked about just before in the show. And Sumner's Scarborough Park.

Scarborough Park. Okay. Sumner out by the beach. Yeah, which I believe is the home of Scarborough Fair where Rose, Thyme and Rosemary will be there. Okay. Sumner out by the beach. Yeah, which I believe is the home of Scarborough Fair where Rose, Thyme and Rosemary will be there. Okay.

Something, Thyme and Rosemary will be there. This is a great idea, but how long is this going to last? Because people are going to use this. Yeah. By the look of it, you put your hand on it and it goes. Oh, so you can't squirt it yourself. You just can't keep going pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, fill up your own bottle to take home.

It looks like a... into the hand. I didn't even think of that, but it took you like 10 seconds to think about filling your own bottle. No, that's the first thing I thought of was drunk people or people just taking advantage of it. Yeah. Yeah, so they're doing that.

So what a great idea. Hats off to you to put sunscreen on my bald head and then hat back on because no play outside if you don't have a hat on in summer months. Yeah, true. So the top six other public dispensers we need. Number six, an ice dispenser. Oh.

In public. Oh, God, that'd be great. I know. How good would that be? Especially in, like, parks. Because you've got your drink bottle, but your water's maybe got a bit warm. Well, you always have a water fountain placed to fill up your drink bottle. Yeah.

Oh, yes. Next to an ice dispenser. Great idea. Yeah, thank you. Good thinking, Flinsman. Thanks. Well, you always have a water fountain placed to fill up your drink bottle. Yeah. Next to an ice dispenser. Great idea. Yeah, thank you. Good thinking, Blinsmith. Thanks. Yeah, no problem. I mean, keeping it running

and non-vandalised will probably cost a fortune. But people love paying taxes and rates, so I'm sure it'll be no problem. No. Number five on the list

of the top six other public dispensers we need, a deodorant dispenser. Good idea. That's a great idea also. Because if you forget it, or it's a little bit... Your armpit underneath, it goes

psss. Yeah, you'd go up to it. I guess you could take your shirt off or just expose the armpit. Line it up. Squirts under there. Or could it just be a Rex owner on a chain? Oh, grim. Yeah, it could be grim. Oh, you mean a spray, not a roll-on. No, not a spray, not a roll-on.

Jeez, who's using roll-on, by the way? Who uses roll-on? No. Of course we do, not a roll-on. No, not a roll-on. Jeez. Who's using roll-on, by the way? Who uses roll-on? No. Of course we do. Nan uses roll-on. What? You say this, but you know that there's a whole area at the supermarket with roll-ons, so people must be buying them.

Yeah, for old people. There's a whole area of old people. I can't use those sprays because it gives me a rash. I've used sensitive roll-on. No, use one with alcohol. You're getting the no alcohol ones. I'm the same. No, use a roll-on that actually goes on your...

Have you tried a crystal? Have you tried rubbing a crystal from the earth on there? It's full mode at the moment. I recharge my crystals. You guys don't use roll-ons, so roll-on is absolutely bloody stupid. Hit me with some sales stats. I bet sprays...

But roll-on might move. I've got a hairy armpit too, so it always like pinches and pulls off the hair. Yeah, but that's what I mean. Like you're just spraying the hairs under your arm. At least if you roll it on,

it's getting onto your skin. It's getting onto the skin. So is the spray. I don't have a problem. No, it's just spraying your hairs. A friend of ours had Botox in the armpits. Yeah, it stops you sweating.

No, but don't you need to sweat? That's weird. Yeah, where does the sweat go though? Like out of the places. Palms. Yeah, like back of your leg. If you stop it under there, does it get more elsewhere? It's got to, right?

It's got to go somewhere. Yeah, I don't like that. That's messing with sweat. Measure that and then it goes to your upper lip, so you get that Botox. It goes to your back, you get your back Botox. Before you know it, you're like, oh, that's sweat everywhere.

And you're just puffed up because you fill a water. I weigh up my sweat. Yeah. Just slowly filling up. Number six. I know. Number four on the list of today's top six

other public dispensers we need are a pen dispenser because you've never got a pen when you need one. No. Just walk out and be like, We can't even have pens on chains.

No, I know. People are stealing the pen off the chains. And it's pick and mix and stuff. So it's not going to happen. Yeah. Who's stealing the pen off the pick and mix chain? My God, that's annoying.

That's crucial for me to write down the code number of. Do you know once I had to use my fingernail to like grate the number to the bag? I just grab a chocolate covered peanut and just melt it with my finger a little bit. And write the code for lollies. That could smear on the way to the checkout. Yeah, just put it in the top bit of the trolley. You'll be fine. Yeah, okay.

That's thinking. That is thinking. That's like if I was in the wild and I needed to write a note. Sir, have you used your own shit to smear this number on this bag? Yes. Yes, I have. Because if I told you I used a chocolate peanut, you'd charge me for the chocolate peanut, wouldn't you?

So yes, it's my own faeces. Number three on the list of the top six public dispensers we need a moisturiser. Like sunscreen. Because sometimes

you walk out and you'll be like oh no. I forgot. Yeah. I forgot to moisturise. A facial moisturiser. Yeah.

Or a body lotion. I'm not just putting any Tom, Dick and Harry facial moisturiser. I don't think you should put Tom, Dick or Harry's facial moisturiser on your face without asking. I don't think you should put Tom, Dick or Harry's facial moisturizer on your face. Without asking questions of like, who are you?

Yeah. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six public dispensers we need. This is, in fact, this one's going to be number two. I'm putting it to number one. Okay. Are you switching? You're switching.

You're doing your last one at switcheroo. Number two is now advice dispensers. Oh, yeah, good. So you know when you're like, oh, you could walk up, you'd be like, what should I have for dinner? And they ask a couple of questions and then they give you advice you're after. Or Caitlin's like, why don't I have a boyfriend yet? Advice dispenser. And they're like, well, you're asking a public advice dispenser.

I'd say that's a good place to start. Rude. Absolutely rude. That was mean Yes It's only 6.47 You didn't

No because you don't Have a clock anymore I know Because you got rid Of the clock I know Get rid of the clock And the number one

On today's top six Other public dispensers We need A sauce dispenser Oh yes Yep Different sauces Like different sauces

Yeah sweet chilli sauce. Aioli? Yeah, heck yeah. Well, no, is that a sauce? We'll vote on a top five. Is aioli a sauce? What's with the sauce? Aioli.

Yes, aioli is a condiment. Aioli. It's a condiment, but it's not a sauce. Tomato, aioli. Sweet chilli. Sweet chilli. Mustard and hot. Mustard.

Barbecue? Or we're all going to argue over the hot sauce. No, we can have... Sriracha. Yes, this is our sauce dispenser. We can have multiple. I was thinking five. Can we move on to salsa and sour cream?

No, now you're into a dip. This is a condiment dispenser. This is a liquid condiment. You don't want your salsa coming out. I was just thinking of my nachos. You want a chunky salsa. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

And the chunks are... That would be more like next order, there's going to be a chilled pick and mix and you scoop out your salsa with a pick and mix spade. That is today's top six. Well, they're here next year. January 12th at Western Springs in Auckland and Ted joins us

from Mumford & Sons. Good morning. Good morning. Well, that's, yeah, I guess it's morning where you are. Definitely not morning here. Afternoon, evening for you. Night. Night? Absolutely. How's it going morning where you are. It's definitely not morning here. Afternoon, evening for you. Night. Night? Absolutely.

How's it going? It's good. It's really good. Now, is this a great plan for you guys to get out of the really cold English winter and get some summer sun, this tour? We did this a few years ago, and kind of by accident. We did a tour. I think it was in, I don't know, 2012 or something,

and we literally didn't see Winter for an entire year and we were like, you know what, let's do that again. So it's not totally an accident, if I'm honest. You've got to get that vitamin D. Yeah.

You've got to. Now, reading the press release, I was shocked and this made me feel old. Next year, Sino More, the debut album,

is 10 years old. Where has that time gone? It's pretty weird, isn't it? That is really, really weird. I think especially when you're just sort of busy. You've been busy, we've been busy, and it does fly by. Will there be any celebrations for its 10-year anniversary for you guys?

I mean, we should probably mark it. I'm sure we'll acknowledge it somehow. Have you got any ideas? How would you guys?

Well the 10th anniversary is tin. It's tin traditionally. It's not a sexy metal is it? It's not a sexy metal. No.

Tin or aluminium. Not sexy metals. You could have a tin instrument maybe or just do a cake maybe. Are you thinking like a beer can with some rocks in it? Yeah, cake.

Just do a cake. Last time we talked to you, you were recording an album. Oh, great ideas. You were using an old water tank. You actually had a drum microphone in an old water tank, and you were banging that, and you said, oh, well, why not? We'll try these things.

On this new album, have you got any sort of out there instruments? Well, I mean, we were try these things. On this new album, have you got any sort of out there instruments? Well, I mean, we were under the guidance of Paul Epworth, who is a pretty out there geezer most of the times. And yeah, we were sort of following his lead on it a little bit. You know, we presented him with songs in the form of like what we call the campfire test.

We wrote so much. We got them all to different stages of demoed or, you know, semi-produced. So we did the campfire test. We wrote so much, we got them all to different stages of demoed or semi-produced. So we did a campfire test and got Marcus just to sing them all with just him and the guitar. And so we had quite a nice blank slate to start with, making this album, and Atworth took it into all sorts of weird and wonderful places. Nice, well, super excited for the new album.

Delta is out. You can get it here in New Zealand the 16th of November. You can pre-order it now and tickets are on sale now as well for Mumford & Sons Western Springs January the 12th. In the new year, this is great.

We're going to turn on the good weather for you, Ted, from Mumford & Sons. Thank you so much. Can't wait. Mate, thank you so much. We're looking forward to it very, very much. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan.

The podcast. ZM. ZM. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'm thankful she made you a coffee. No, I am thankful. Caitlin has made Vaughan a coffee, and it's not up to standard.

How many scoops did you put in? I literally did exactly what you said. I gave her very specific instructions. I said initially a cold water up to the base of the spoon. Yeah, also that was too much cold water, but I was like, oh, he likes his coffee how he likes it. So I did it exactly as you told me. Temperature's not bad.

There's something else happening here. There's something amiss. Don't get good at what you don't want to do. How much coffee did you put in? Two tablespoons. Two of these big spoons? Yes, two. Well, maybe I missed a few granules off the heat.

No, it's okay. He'll never ask you to do it again. That's good work from you. This is Megan's motto. I need you to become better at this. God, you infuriate me. I'm taking you on. Two days a week with you is too much.

You're welcome. I'm taking you on, making you a better person. Absolutely not. No, you're welcome. No. I won't take no for an answer. So there's a week with you is too much. You're welcome. I'm taking you on, making you a better person. Absolutely not. No, you're welcome. No. I won't take no for an answer. So there's a story in the news. Before we go to the segment, don't get Fletch started.

And Megan, you've got a list soon of, what is it? The five most common ways people sabotage their relationship. Before we get to that, there is another issue that we need to talk about. Why wear a hot pulls? Did you hear about this? Oh, a classic. No, but I've had a couple of hot pulls experiences lately. Even, like, we all didn't grow up in Auckland,

but you still remember going as a kid, eh? And most people in Auckland will remember. Oh, but going as a kid? And as an adult. No, I went as, like, when I moved to Auckland, I went. Right. Yeah. At night time, they let you go down the hydro slides.

That was pretty loose. And then they do movies at night time as well. Yeah. Like, in the they let you go down the hydro slides. That was pretty loose. And then they do movies at night time as well. Yeah. Like in the spa, you can do the big movies. Well, yesterday the lease on the resort was cancelled and the locks changed. Oh, that's a code red. After the leaseholder failed to pay its bills. Oh no.

So apparently it's been for the last couple of years it's been there's been quite a few renos and stuff and it had been shut for a time and apparently business wasn't good. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's over Red Rover or there's hope for it. Can someone with money go in there and save

that? Is it a hot pools where the water's naturally hot or is it a hot pools where the water's been heated to be hot? It's a good question that I can't answer, Vaughan. It's a great question. No, I thought it was natural. Yeah, and I just, growing up, I assumed every hot pools was strategically placed upon a hot spring.

Well, it's called why we're a thermal resort. Okay, then that feels to me like there's a thermal hot spring. There's got to be a thermal aspect to it. Yeah that feels to me like there's a thermal hot spring there. There's got to be a thermal aspect to it. Yeah. Yeah. What was your hot pools when you were a kid? What was your local hot pools? Well, we just went to the swimming pool.

No, no, no. You must have had like a hot pool. Hanmer. We had to drive quite a bit. We had to. What do you mean? My local hot pools was Hanmer. Oh, and when I say local, like, there's nothing closer to Nelson,

so you had to go down to Hedna. You didn't have any, like, naturally occurring thermal springs in Nelson. We have poo-poo springs, but they're cold. But very clear. But very clear. And, you know, I don't think you're supposed to swim in those. You just look at them. Yeah, yeah, they're for looking.

Yeah. Yeah, because we had Wainara hot springs. Oh, yeah. The reason I bring it up, we went there at the weekend. Oh, yeah. And it's like nothing's changed. It was actually quite like super nostalgic. Yeah, I took my daughter down the hydro slide that I was once flung off.

We didn't fling off. However, when we got to the bottom, because when you've got kids on a hydro slide and you go together, when you get to the end, you lift them up. Oh, okay. I always lift them up, not so that they don't go under the water, so that they don't get crushed by this giant line. But we came around the last corner of New Zealand's longest outdoor open hydroslide.

Okay. It used to just be New Zealand's longest hydroslide. Then someone opened a longer one indoors, so it became New Zealand's longest outdoor hydroslide. But then there was an outdoor one that had a lid on it. This one's open, so now it's New Zealand's longest open outdoor hot water hydro slide.

And we came around the last corner and I got loose. And so I was like, I said to Indy, not going to be able to grab you. So she spins because she's panicking and then boom, I just land and she goes down. And I'm just panicking in the bubbles and everything. My baby!

I don't pick her up, but I'd landed on her and I just like rolled her shoulder around a little bit. But, you know, it's that thing. Everyone's got to have their first hydra slide injury and I'm glad I could be there for her. Well, it wasn't some random fat kid. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't her when like the water, Once you fall off your mat then you stop

and then some like monster of a child comes ripping around behind you and you turn around and you're like, slow down. And it's like, boom.

Collection. Blow you out the other end. And then you get older and you just all want to go at once. Yeah, yeah. And then you get older again where you become the person

being like, everybody calm down. Everybody calm down. One at a time. One at a time, please. One at a time. I'm all time, please. One at a time. We just take note of when he starts ranting.

Let him rant and then make him rant again on the radio about it. I don't know. These are real life rants. Yeah, real life rants. Real life rants. Of course they're real life rants. We hear about. I've got a lot.

If I was in charge of a lot of things, things would be effective and efficient. You are in charge of a lot of things and they are not efficient. Things that matter, Megan. Okay. You should have seen the little glee on his face coming back from Christchurch when at the security check at the domestic airport, both were open and there were no queues. Both of the scanners were open.

You should have seen his stupid little face. He was so happy. Did you hear? So when we lined up at the check-in counter, the lady did a snarky comment at you. She said, oh, maybe we should open one more lane. Did you hear that? No.

As you walked past. And I was like, that's right, I have to tell Fletch. Well, no, she didn't need to open one more lane because it was efficient. I know, maybe that's why she was feeling sassy because it was flowing nicely. Yeah, no, she wouldn't have been sassy when they've only got one open

and there are 400 people waiting. So they hear you. Good. They know it. But then that's good if you can have a reputation for something.

It's that they open more lanes when they see you coming. Exactly. That's got to be nice. Or being grumpy.

Just completely unrelated to the segment. Don't get fletched. Megan, you've been out for dinner lately and ordered an entree.

Okay. Here we go. No, not recently. Yeah, but when you order an entree, you don't assume it's going to be the size of a main. No, because it says entree. That would suggest like smaller plate than a main. A hundred percent.

You could maybe ask them for a main size of the entree should you want. Okay, I'll take over from here. So at the weekend, I went out for Thai with some friends. Yeah. Now, I ordered spring rolls. As a? As just a side to my dish.

I was very hungry. Very hungry, bear in mind. Okay, no, you carry on. So they turn up in this tiny little basket for mini spring rolls. Now the photo on the menu, there was nothing to show the size. So this is my rant, is if you're going to have a picture menu, you've got to have something for scale, like a pen or a tennis ball next to them, right? Yeah. So that I know how big the spring rolls are.

Because it was misleading. Where was the spring roll, like, placed in the menu? Entrees. Right. But I've had spring rolls and entrees before, and they've been, like, big. How many did you get? Two? Long. Right. But I've had spring rolls and entrees before and they've been like big. How many did you get? Two?

Four. You had four big spring rolls for an entree somewhere. Yeah, I wanted four big spring rolls. I was going to share even. But then when I arrived and they were small, no sharing. Yeah, I was like, well, this is underwhelming. No. Because I thought they'd be bigger.

Because no, but the picture, Megan, you haven't seen the picture. It was a spring roll. It was close up because otherwise you get too much other stuff in there. If you're ordering four spring rolls from the entree, you'd expect them to be little. To be big. I would expect them to be big.

Ward? Nah, see, even I, who loves ordering multiple entrees, would not expect that. And I think it was $6.99. Come on. Come on. Come on. What sort of restaurant is economically functioning

if it's giving out four large spring rolls for $6.99? But I don't know how much spring rolls cost. Like, that to me seems... Four little spring rolls, $6.99,

that's too much. But this is my point. If you're going to have a restaurant and have a menu, have a scale. Like a little centimetre thing next to it or something. Now, I can agree for the fact that there's multiple photos and next to the spring roll is a main. If it's next to the spring roll and it's a main and it's much larger.

The spring rolls are longer than the main picture. But they were under entree, not... But wouldn't they equal like $1.75 for a spring roll? You're not getting a big spring roll. No, I'd want a big spring roll for that. Are you kidding me? I mean, I know it's not the 80s, but that to me seems decent. If it was the 80s, you wouldn't have gone out for Thai.

You would have had mashed potatoes and sausages. Oh, that's true. But you think about a crab stick. Aren't they like a dollar? From the fish and chip shop? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's not really crab. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. Okay, I mean, maybe I'm out of touch. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it is a simple bloke who likes a big feed. A simple bloke who likes a big spring roll. It's not as fun when you roll over, though. I need you to argue your point.

Do you roll over on a big spring roll? Or just little ones. Okay. I'm more of a... I've gone under the fresh spring rolls. Oh, the... Is that a Yufka? No, that's a Vietnamese roll.

No, no, I'm actually back to food. A Vietnamese, yeah, yeah. Sometimes they're called summer rolls. Or rice paper rolls. Rice paper rolls. Those are legit. Yeah, they're very good. Fresh.

They're very fresh, aren't they? They're very... Not for't they? They're very bad. Not for you. Not for you if you don't like coriander. Yeah, that's true. Not for you if you don't like coriander. Okay, buckle up. Buckle up. Buckle up, sunshine. I've got the five most common ways people sabotage their

own relationships. This is romantic relationships, not friendships. Okay. So, number one, you fast forward the relationship and push too hard too soon for commitment. They've said the best way to get someone to commit to you is just let the relationship run at its own pace. People don't fall in love at the same time

and often one person gets committed earlier than the other. Right, so don't talk about babies and marriage on the first date. Nah, maybe not. Can you sound them out, though? What do you mean? Like, sound them out. Oh, you can say, like, do you even want to have children? Because there's no point in getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't.

But then on a first date, that's a bit much, isn't it? Oh, you maybe save it for the second date. Caitlin, how long would it take you to bring this up? When do you talk about children? First ten minutes? Yeah. Oh my God, look at my knees quit. Just after you've made them talk to your mum on the phone?

Hey, that's like the second date they talk to my mum. No. Do they? Well. Have you ever talked about them on a first date? Because that would be weird, eh? No, I think because I want to know if they like children

because I don't want to waste my time if they're like, oh, definitely not having children. Also, we can't make it so it's female based because Caitlin, remember that guy who like blended your faces

to make your baby, what your babies would look like? That's right. Yeah, so it's not all girls. How many dates was that after? How many dates was that? Two or three? No, we haven't even been on a date, remember?

Oh, yeah. We were just talking things. Oh, that was... People do weird stuff. I thought he was just being funny. He was just being funny. But still. But still, it was like, here's what our babies will look like.

And you hadn't even really met face to face. Yeah, and then like, meet me and then don't text me back, you dick. Oh. Nah, nah, nah. Sorry for pulling that scam off. So number two, the ways that people sabotage their relationship. You undervalue yourself. So this is when you can't take a compliment.

You're super critical of yourself. You put yourself down. This means that you'll always aim low. And this is a good quote. If you behave like a doormat, people will walk all over you. So value yourself when you're getting into relationships. Okay. Oh, I thought there was more to that.

No, I've never had a problem valuing myself. Number three. No, you haven't. Priceless. You're just overvalued. You're overvalued. Well, it's hard to put a value on it. You're going to have a property crash soon.

Yeah, I mean, I'm worried to take myself to Antiques Roadshow because it could be like worthless heap of crap or it could be like priceless heirloom. Number three, you are insecure and jealous. So they've said jealousy won't stop people being unfaithful. It actually makes it more likely that they will be. So there's no point worrying about if your partner is going to cheat on you because they will regardless of how you act. So don't act jealous.

Well, I mean, if they're that kind of person and they're falling in love with someone. Yeah. Yeah. Don't act jealous because you might just actually push them away. Roger that. You keep trying to change them.

I mean, maybe this is more of a female one. We like to like smooth the edges of a guy when we get them. Just like alter it just a wee bit. Now about the spiky gang that you're in. Let's get you into some nice Helen Stein's clothes. Cuter jackets, right? Yeah.

Asking you to change who you are. I just think maybe less meth, more marijuana. And these leather jackets, like slim fit, I think would be cuter. Yeah, these are very baggy. Who do I talk to

at the Black Power about that? Yeah. So if there's any changes in a relationship, it has to come from them, not you. And this last one is odd. I'm not sure I agree with it. Not needing them. So specifically for females,

guys, it's bred into them that they need to be needed. So if you're really self-sufficient, if you're an independent person, you pay for your own stuff, you've always done your own thing. If you get into a relationship and you act like they're an independent person, you pay for your own stuff. You've always done your own thing. If you get into a relationship and you act like they're not actually needed, it's probably not going to go

well. So you have to kind of act like they are needed. Right. But then you don't want to be like super needy. There's got to be a bit of balance. That's what I think. And like we're supposed to be like independent woman, you know? But then I guess you can need them in an emotional way

rather than like to pay for your bills and stuff. Yeah. Support and such. Support and such. And then that works both ways as well. It does. You're right. Yeah, that does.

Sometimes guys need to be wanted but also want to be needed. I don't know what happened. Do you need a hug? You know when you're running real fast down a hill and you've got to keep your legs going to stop from falling over? That's what that sentence felt like. Yeah. You started it and now it's going to finish.

Those guys want to be needed. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And they need to be wanted. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was close. I almost fell over. So think about that and don't sabotage your own relationship. But we turn our attention to spelling now.

Producer Caitlin, I wouldn't say one of your strong suits. Now, the thing with me and spelling is that I'm always in a rush, so I just spell it out as I hear it and then you know exactly, you guys speak Caitlin, so you know exactly what I mean. Yeah, I mean, most of the time

it is spelt phonetically. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like a code, it's like a code and it gets our brain working. And then also, yeah, I want to be like, hey, have some fun with this.

What is the word? Sometimes, though, I'm like, Caitlin, hey, have some fun with this. What is the word? Sometimes, though, I'm like, Caitlin. Yeah, but who cares? Friday. This morning before the show, Caitlin was writing some stuff down and there was some spelling mistakes. And I said to her, you should join the Vaughan Smith School of Spelling because most learning is done, and this just isn't spelling,

when you make a fun story out of it. When you make it memorable. You're teaching Indy to spell some words at the moment. She's got some hard words this week. I guess she's getting towards the end of year two. But like invitation was on there. Oh, that's easy. Yep, Megan, she's sick. Stupid kids.

Stupid kids. Invitation, get some hard ones. Do you find your spellings going downhill, auto-correcting stuff? Oh, yeah. It's so bad, eh? It's so bad. Like, I'm like, when I don't have my text or chat or whatever. When you have to write something down.

Yeah, I'm like, oh, my God. I know the other day I was like, believe. I don't know. Just put B-E-I-L and then. And then the pen will take care of the rest. B-E-L. Come on, pen. How is the auto finish?

I before E something. Except after C, but it's not after C. There's like a million examples of when that works. That's stupid. Stupid, bloody stupid English. English is just a ridiculous language. It's hard. People that learn English say it's a really hard language.

Oh, it's super hard. People who know other languages, eh? Yeah. Our one's real hard. Real hard. So, yeah. So if you know other languages, eh? Yeah. Our one's real hard. Real hard. So, yeah. So if you can do English, you can do them all.

So there's other words on the list. One of the words, and I've done this previous weeks, is you make a story about the word so you remember how it's spelt. Yep. Okay. Like this week,

this is the one that I mentioned this morning that also got me in trouble with my wife when she overheard it. One of the words this week is this is the one that I mentioned this morning that also got me in trouble with my wife when she overheard it. One of the words this week is bucket. And I said, and I said, uh, well, you know, the F word cause she knows the F word. Yeah. And I said, it's like the F word, except you take the F and you turn it into a B because it's, it's bucket.

But see the uck sound is still there. So you exchange that. And then at the end, you know when you're like swearing, but you're trying to describe it so you can't say the proper word? So it's not it. It's not F it. It's bucket. Yeah.

How did that go down with the wife? Well, she came in and Indy was like, oh, yeah, because I was going through the list. So I was like, bucket. And she's like, right, that's like the F word, except it's a B and et on the end. And so she nailed it straight away because she remembered the story. Sade's like, beg your pardon, who told you that?

She's like, Dad did. And she's like, I can't teach you things like that. What if she goes to school and repeats it? I'm like, she's not going to repeat it. I'm not going to teach August this way. Good God, no. But the sensible child, I'll teach this way. She knows better.

Yeah, she knows better. Because I was, this is an example of why I wouldn't teach August this. Last night, she was in the bath and she was just asking weird questions. Like, when I was young, when I was a baby, did I ever poo in the bath? Oh, yeah. Did I ever do a poop in the bath? I remember that happening. So she did.

And we said, yeah, you did. Indy never did. You did like once. Why did you say Indy never did? Well, because she asked. She was like, And we said, yeah, you did. Indy never did. You did like once. Why did you say Indy never did? Well, because she asked. She was like, did Indy? Oh, you did. Did Indy?

No, Indy never did. And she's like, ah. And then literally the words came out of her mouth. Oh, yeah. So I pooped in the bath once because I just took a piss in the shower. Oh, jeez. For me. And I was in the kitchen.

I came and I said, what did you just me? I was in the kitchen and I came and I said, what did you just say? I beg your pardon? And she's like, well, that's another word for it. That's another word for wheeze. I'm like, yes. Correct. Where did you hear that?

Waiting to have blame attributed to me. And apparently it's a boy at kindy set it. He just said, I'm off for a piss. And she was like, what's that? And he's like, it's a wheeze. It's how my dad says it. This is what she recounts to me. And I'm like, okay, that's cool. But we just don't say that.

We don't say that in this house. We don't. Hi, good morning, Prime Minister. Good morning. Good morning. Sorry, I was just going to delay you a few minutes. I could have waited. No. She can wait. Make her wait. We morning. Good morning. Sorry, I was just going to delay you a few minutes. I could have waited. No, we can't.

She can wait. Make her wait. We can't do that. Now, Fletch wants you to settle an argument. And I've sent you through the photo of what was an exact 50-50. This was like, you know, election year a little while back. You know, the people were undecided, weren't they? But Winston won't be our kingmaker today.

Or queenmaker. A big argument for us yesterday when Vaughan wore dead ankle socks. Two inches above the ankle, these socks. And I wear sock heads. Not two inches. Maybe an inch and a half above the top of the shoe. You can't see the sock. The nation is split 50-50.

Where do you sit on the issue, Prime Minister? You've put the question to me in quite a loaded way. Which sock would you prefer? Prime Minister? You've put the question to me in quite a loaded way. Which sock would you prefer? You know, I don't think the sock should be over the ankle, I have to say. As little sock

as possible. Go for the socket. It's not comfortable, but I think it's a... Did you say the socket is not comfortable? No, I don't find them comfortable they look better you need to find the right one that doesn't slip down but once you do

once you find the right brand of socket it's all around that's settled the matter I've got a question I don't know if this is on the priority list biggest issue I'm going to have to make a decision on all day that is I don't know what else you've got lined up for the day,

but the socket versus the ankle sock. Big, big contentious issue. Why is sunscreen so expensive in New Zealand? Yeah, it's a good question, actually. Yeah, it is a very good question. I've often wondered this myself, but I've never looked into it in any detail. Are you telling me that sunscreen is cheaper elsewhere?

Yeah, it is. In other countries, sunscreen is cheaper. This is one of those things where you're like, in other countries, but you need actual evidence. I wonder whether or not we have a particular standard because of course you know, we've historically dealt with not having an ozone layer. I wonder if we have a particular standard.

Shall I look into this matter for you? Yes, please. Is it an important matter of state? Well, no, I just think we've got really ridiculously high skin cancer rates in New Zealand. We do. And prevention is better than treatment later on. Cheaper, too, presumably. Because we talked about Christchurch putting out some free dispensers in public. Yes.

That's what got going on. Skin Can is a place in Christchurch that's putting some dispensers out. Yeah, nice. Let me ask a question for you. Okay, another issue that's plaguing the youth, Prime Minister, in fact, everybody, are these new scooters. Have you been on a Lime scooter yet? I'd just say that actually knows no boundaries in terms of age.

No. I have seen them. I was walking back from the supermarket yesterday and one flew past me in a bus lane. I thought, that's different. Have you been on one yourself? It was moving faster than a bus. No, I have not.

I've been on the traditional version, the non-motorised one. But yeah, no, not one of those. But there's a lot of people on them You simply must try it. Yeah, good fun. It's really good. Are they yeah? Yeah, but where do you sit? Do you want them banned because people are saying Hoskins us questions Ask tough questions? No, no, no. I'm not one to jump straight to the bedding. I worry in a motherly way that quite a few people have fallen off and they do go really fast.

So, no, I'm not going straight into the bedding camp, but I think probably just need to make sure that they're not causing people any harm on them. So, yeah. Because you don't want to be called like a nanny. You don't want to be like nanny state gets thrown around. Nanny state. Every time someone takes away something funny.

That's right. They'll take away fireworks next, bloody nanny state. So one year into it, one year since it all, the coalition and everything. I know. It's really flown by. And yet when I think about it, I have. It's really flown by. And yet when I think about it,

I have an entire child in that time. So in lots of ways. You have grown an entire human. That's right. Yeah, it's been quite a while. Yeah, but it's, yeah, I think there were a few people who said we wouldn't last. And here we are having our first anniversary.

I sound now like I'm talking about a couple. Yeah. Well, you are. You and the couple. Yes, that's right. So we're doing, yeah, we're going strong. Will I be able to alleviate the pain of my sore knees with some marijuana this side of Christmas? I don't think you're quite our target audience there.

They get very sore. And pain. Can you tell when it's going to rain? Yeah, I can. I can, I can. The thing is, Vaughan doesn't even want to smoke. He wants to turn his dad's Morinsville farm into a weed farm and make money.

I know that this isn't even from an athletics injury of any description. Hey, no, that's... We had the same PE teacher and he ruined your shoulder. We did actually, to be fair, he ruined my shoulder. What have you got? Everything. He ruined my self-esteem. Everything.

Mean. Very mean. All right. No, I was just thinking because Dad's, you know, he's a dairy farmer but he's in his 60s now and I think marijuana growing would be a much more comfortable lifestyle for him. Hemp might be a slightly better place to go. Yes. Much less runoff as well. Marijuana

doesn't poo in the streams. Yes. Just a thought there. Alright, thanks. We've kept you long enough. I think we've discussed the big issues of the day. We have covered them all off. Sockets. Sunscreen. Sunscreen. Lime scoot day. We have covered them all off. Sockets. One way or another. Sockets. Sunscreen.

Lime scooters. Lime scooters and marijuana. And weed. Thank you. All taken care of. Thank you very much. It's not quite the cabinet agenda that I had this week. No.

I'm going to tell you what, more people have watched Parliament TV. Do you get worried talking to us or Mike Hoskins more? Like the pre-pre-call? Oh, worry's not the word, really. Yeah, I never know what's going to be on the agenda with you. He's somewhat more predictable in his life. That's the danger. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, have a great weekend.

Thank you so much for talking to us. Friday Flashback. Okay, well, this Friday Flashback. Okay, well, this Friday Flashback will change your mood. This, I had no idea. I've just been looking into this and I had no idea. The whole

story behind this song is amazing. It's topical, this song. This would be one of the oldest songs we've ever played for Friday Flashback. As I said, you would have first heard it in 1994 if you were around uh but it wasn't officially released as a song until much later on in 1995 like 10 months later why because when it first uh was recorded it was only 50 seconds long and it was so popular that everyone's like, that actually needs a commercial release length, and they don't release songs that short.

So they popped down to Nashville and turned the 50-second version into a three-minute nine version. Okay. The version we've got? We've got a three-minute and five-second version. Okay, maybe you trimmed slightly. Maybe they trimmed some silence off the end.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, squeeze it in. So I'll tell you off the end. Yeah, yeah. Squeeze it in. So, I'll tell you, it was written by the people who performed it, but not solely by them. It was also written by some producers of a TV show, which again, I didn't know. Okay. Like, the lyrics

and everything were all decided for them. Okay. And they recorded it, and when they came back to hear the final version, there were claps in it and they said who put the claps in? Yeah. And the people were like

oh we kind of heard it and there was this bit there and we just decided like someone clapped and we're like that sounds great so we recorded the claps in. I couldn't imagine the song

without the claps. No. The clap needs the claps. They said when they first heard the claps they're like ouch this is a song and you've just done this

without asking but now they're like of course it's the most iconic part of the song. The whole story behind the song is fascinating. This song was lucky to even be in there because it was supposed to be another song originally. Yeah.

But then they didn't want to pay the royalties for the other song and a couple of other reasons. So cheaper to make their own. So cheaper to make their own, which in turn has probably made them a ton of cash. Yeah. A crazy ton of cash. So, from

1995, I'll say 1995 because this is the full release version. And only because David Schwimmer's been in the news this week because of that criminal that looks exactly like him. I think he's won the internet for the year. He did very well. Like, that was so brilliant.

He did very well. He makes $20 million off royalties for this show, for this theme song we're about to play. I mean, it's David Shulman. You know, he's not exactly been in a bunch of shows.

You know what he's, yeah, you know what we're about to play you. Yes, from 1995 in all its glory, The Rembrandts. Great sing-along. I'll be there for you.

All right, it's your Friday flashback. And it's four right, it's your Friday Facebook. And it's four claps, not five. ZM. No one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke. Your thought life's the other way. It's like you're always fucking second gear.

When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year But I'll be there for you I'll be there for you I'll be there for you Cause you're there for me too I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you.

Cause you're there for me too. Rembrandts, all we need for you you It's a Friday flashback On ZM Ross from Friends David Schwimmer Winning the internet This week This year I think With the recreation

Of the CCTV footage Of the guy in the UK Stealing a beer That looked exactly like him Brilliant So funny if you haven't seen it Yeah Some feedback

As we always do At the end of Well How's it been received? I would imagine pretty good Pretty good I'll give you the bad first Okay Bad news first I'm disappointed as we always do at the end of... Well, how's it been received? I would imagine pretty good. Pretty good. I'll give you the bad first.

Okay. Bad news first. I'm disappointed in you, Vaughn. You're better than this. Hashtag not a banger. Oh, you can't say that's not a banger. Such a sing-along though. We all know it.

Somebody else said fail. Okay, yeah. This song was thrashed then. It's still rubbish. First your socks, now this. I'm old and I know better. Disappointing. They're not wrong.

Yeah. Somebody else said, banger. Yep. Somebody else said, I just had a moment on the Northwestern where I sang the first part and the guy in the van next to me made eye contact with me and did the clap part to my singer. Oh, you've made friends. Whoever drives that plumbing van, come back I'll marry you. Great to marry

a plumber too, that's a solid trade. It's a very solid trade. And if you get a blockage, he can fix it. Somebody else said, much like the Fresh Prince song, I belted out the first verse and then was like, wait a minute, what's all this? What's all this? It gets back into it though. It gets back into it

and then you get in there. And somebody said, I actually just finished watching Friends last night. Oh yeah? What, the whole? The whole series. I must have sat down and, I mean, presumably on free-to-air television.

It's always playing somewhere. That's how every Friend member, Friends cast member is making $20 million a year of residuals. Right, so this weekend, let's20 million a year of residuals. Right. So this weekend, let's turn our attention to Halloween because this weekend, a lot of people will have Halloween parties because Halloween is on Wednesday. Wednesday.

Wednesday. Yeah. The 31st of October is Wednesday. Looking at the calendar. Yeah. And so a lot of people having parties this weekend. And Megan, you and Mr. Toyboy are going... We're going to a Halloween party, yes. Okay, whose is this party?

It's our friend's. It's his birthday. Whose friend? Chris, if you must know. And birthday Chris. Never heard of him. Oh, he's a much better friend than you guys are.

I think I've met Chris. You should have met Chris because he was at... Oh, you weren't at my party, Fletch. No, I wasn't. Yeah, I met Chris. He was at the party. Okay, so he exists. I mean, I didn't get an invite to the you. I met Chris, he was at the party. Okay. So he exists.

I mean, I didn't get an invite to the party. You didn't get an invite to the party, no. That'd be the good thing about having your birthday on Halloween. You could always have a dress-up party and people wouldn't be all like, Yeah, that's true. So it's dress-up and you don't like dress-up. I hate dressing up because I feel uncomfortable. I just want to wear my own clothes.

And there's so much pressure because everyone's like, oh, what are you dressed as? You know? And you can't half-ass it because then you look like a noob. What? Wait for it. This is so great. Why did I?

I told Caitlin and she told you guys. Well, Caitlin, you find this funny as well, don't you? No, I. What's funny about it? I will probably do this with my husband if I ever get one. You guys are going to be wound up. But it's just like cute because Megan hates costumes, but she's doing this one.

Okay, well, no. Why don't you tell everyone what you're going as? So, Andrew is going dressed as Karl Lagerfeld and I'm going to be his cat, Choupette. Because Karl Lagerfeld carries his white cat around with him. Oh my God. I don't think there's ever been a more Megan costume than Carl

Lagerfeld. He's the creative director of Chanel and Fendi. What about Versace, Donatella Versace? Yeah, because I was going to be her, but I didn't know what to wear. She wears tight-fitted dresses. And just like mad amounts of orange.

I was going to like real orange myself. I mean, most people go as a vampire or a ghost, but okay, sure. Karl Lagerfeld. I don't know how that's Halloween, but sure. How do you dress up as Karl Lagerfeld? He just wears like a black suit, and then he's got like a white ponytail and leather gloves. See, because it's nice and easy. And then you're going as a cat.

Yeah, I mean, everyone's got a white ponytail and leather gloves. You buy a wig. So then you just put it in a white wig and put it in a ponytail. And I'm going as an all white cat. So I bought kitty ears. And I've, why am I telling you this? I practiced doing my cat makeup yesterday. So much tutorials.

Honestly, that was so much better. I thought it was going to be like cat purring. Oh, no, no, no. I thought you were like my cat bowl and you've got a bowl of water and you're like... There's tutorials on YouTube on how to do cat makeup. Like whiskers and stuff. How to get the best whiskers. No, like eye makeup and like I paint the end

of my nose so it looks like a little cat nose. It's just Shan XO that does this. Actually, I should look up if Shan's got one. She does make up tutorials. Does she do a cat though? I'm pretty sure she does make up tutorials. Oh, I meant like specific Halloween makeup tutorials. Oh, yeah, right.

She does costume. And then I've got like a chain to go around my neck. Oh, kinky. Kinky? Yeah, it's getting a bit kinky now, isn't it? Yeah, it's a bit, yeah. Yeah, okay. But I thought it was cute.

It's a couple. If you're in a couple, it's cute to do like a couple outfits. I just can Yeah, it's a bit, yeah. Yeah, okay. But I thought it was cute. It's a couple. If you're in a couple, it's cute to do like a couple outfits. Does Karl Lagerfeld, when he takes his cat out, have a leash? No. Because what if it does a bolter? A harness? A harness. No.

It must be so chill. It is chill. I imagine my cat being like chill with it. It's the most fashionable cat. If you can't afford a Karl Lagerfeld and his cat costume, you could do a Karl Fletcher and his cat costume. It would just be like a black T-shirt, a blue hat, anklet socks, and then just like a grey cat.

Okay, that doesn't sound that great, does it? That'd be all right. That'd paint me in a good light. That'd be great. Right. That'd be good. But I know that I'm not, because you guys are absolutely taking the piss out of me.

I like the left field nature of it. You're not just going as... I thought about going as a ghost and just putting a sheet over me. Yeah, but you can't do that. Nah, not with a KKK. No. You get a peaky sheet and all of a sudden you're... That's not good.

You put a fitted sheet on and the fitted sheet, you know, in the end it's like that and it goes up into a cone. A cone, yeah. And everyone's saying, Mrs. Toyboy, yeah. And everyone's saying, aunt, Mrs. Toyboy, watch out. But I like the fact that it's like

a couple costume. So I would like to, I'd like to know, and it doesn't even mean like for Halloween because people do dress up parties all the time.

Have you ever dressed up in a couple? Like, have you done a couple costume? Oh, yep. Okay. Are you like,

what about those American tourists that all wear matching track pants? Matching track suits? You could go as an American tourist couple. Yeah, dress as them with a bum bag. Right. But, yeah, I guess, does it have to be in a relationship? Even if you were in a group, I guess, and you did a matching outfit. All right.

Well, maybe some ideas. Make me feel better and tell them that it's not weird. The more left field, the better, too. All right, well, 0800-DANCE-AT-HEM, 9696. Have you ever done a matching couple's costume? Or maybe you poo-pooed it. Partner came with an idea and you're like, no. I don't want to be a cat.

We shan't be. Halloween parties, a lot of them will be happening this weekend, and my husband and I are doing a couple's outfit, which these guys think is hilarious. And so I wanted to hear from you, have you ever done a couple's outfit? Maybe you do it every year for Halloween, I don't know. But maybe you feel a bit better.

Maybe some inspiration. That's the thing, we're getting so many good ideas that people have done previously. Okay, cool. So you're going to be Karl Lagerfeld's cat. Yeah. And you've even done arts and crafts. Yeah, I made a bag

that he carries around. I can't wait to see this on Instagram. Please, please. I bought fabric paint. Oh my God. You never know when you're going to need that again.

Never. You'll never need, trust me, from a guy who's got a cupboard full of arts and stuff. Never need it. No. Some text messages in.

We, my boyfriend and I went as Team Rocket from Pokemon. Oh, yeah. Jessie and James from Team Rocket. That's pretty cute. Somebody else said Ash Ketchum in Pokemon. That's a popular one. And Pikachu's a good couple's outfit.

Okay. Chelsea, you've done matching couple's outfits for the last eight years for Halloween. We have, yes. We're a little bit sad that we love it. See, you both sound like you love it whereas Megan doesn't love it. No, but I like the couple's situation. That makes it fun.

It is fun. And I also have a lot of craft dreams that you just never know when you might need those. You never know when you're going to need them again. Never, never. So what costumes

have you done in the past? Well, our favourite is probably like a deer and a hunter because he does go hunting so that was really cute. So you, have you done in the past? Well, our favourite is probably like a deer and a hunter because he does go hunting, so that was real cute. So you were the deer? Yes, I was the deer. Okay, and he was just in his... He was in his hunting camo.

What's that brand of camo fleece top that everyone wears? Ridge something? Ridge line? Mine was. Ridge line or something? Yeah. Ridge line. Yep, yep. So there's that? Ridgeline or something? Yeah. Ridgeline. Yep. Yep. So there's that.

We've been like, sing one, sing two. Oh, cat in the hat. It just goes on. Like, we've been lifeguards. We've been everything. Chocolate bars. You mean it's chocolate bars?

Yeah. Like matching? Or were you a crunchy? I'm a robot and he was a picnic. That is so cute. But you don't have an idea for this year? No. Because we're planning

a wedding, so I've kind of like shivers that come up really fast. Well, could you use some of your arts and crafts you've got left over? I know, but every year I like to have a different one. And you're going to get more arts and crafts. You never know when you need more things. Proving that you'll never use that stuff you bought for arts and crafts. What about Brittany and Justin when they wore full denim that time?

Oh, we do love a double denim. Yeah. Do it. Sounds like you've already got double denim too, so that's going to make it easier. There you go. Well, that's your costume done. You just need to buy one of those rhinestone machines.

And I tell you what, you'll always have another use for that. You'll never use it again. You'll never use it again. You'll never use it. Go to Spotlight. But shouldn't, if it's a Halloween matching couples costume, shouldn't there be

some kind of gruesome aspect to it? Some sort of horror. If it is, like Brittany and Justin, then he's got a fake knife in him, she's got blood.

You just have to wear a costume. It doesn't have to be gruesome. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Holly, what's your couples costume? Hi, my couples costume is man and wife. Okay. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. Holly, what's your couple's costume? Hi. My couple's costume is man and wife.

Okay. So we aren't looking at getting married anytime soon, I don't believe. Okay. But we have been together for a while. But we're going as man and wife, and I'm going to have those white, just pure white eye contacts in. Oh, okay. It's going to be really freaky with just your pupils.

How are people going to know you're man and wife? You're just going to have shirts on and say man, husband, wife. Like a costume with a veil and kind of short bride and groom. You're saying bride and groom. Right. Okay. Like a skeleton creepy. Yeah, kind of like a purge. Right. Right, okay. Yeah. Like a skeleton creepy. Yeah, kind of like a purge.

Right. Oh, yeah. Kind of. It's terrifying. It's a skeleton makeup, both of us. Oh, yeah, that's going to look good. That's a good idea. Is this a subtle hint to your partner?

No, not yet. I'm not ready for that yet. Okay. Good, good. Good job. Good job, Megan. Sorry. That was his idea. It's. Okay. Good, good. Good job. Good job, Megan. Sorry. It was his idea.

It's too late. Thanks, Holly. Somebody said, my husband poo-pooed my idea for him to go as Pablo Escobar. Probably due to the fact that she approached and patted the tummy

and said, you already got that. That's it. I want to be Pablo anymore. And just give him a little moustache. And she was going to go As a bag of cocaine

Which would be easy right You get a hessian sack Sprinkle some flour on it You're away laughing Write cocaine on it I'd imagine a glad bag Or something Like so it's clear

Oh you reckon Yeah No he was doing Bigger amounts than a glad bag Okay My husband and I Dressed up as postman Pat and Jess

As black and white cat Oh that's cool That's recently My friend and I Went up as Postman Pat and Jess's black and white cat. Oh, that's cool. That's recently. My friend and I went as a merman. Mermaid man and barnacle boy from SpongeBob. So that was pretty good. Yeah. That's an easy one.

Where do you reckon you can make a SpongeBob? Two. Would you buy a lot of sponges or would you just paint something to look like a sponge? You'd get one of those inside of a foam mattress. Yes. And then cut a hole in for your arms. Cut some yellows. Oh my God, now I want to be SpongeBob.

Yes. And then spray paint it yellow. Yeah. Yeah, that would be easy. That would be easy. Yeah. Put some holes in it to be the spongy part. This is the thing with dressing up in costumes.

Like if you go silly, like remember the Sevens and everyone would, you know, go as, like, crazy Lego men or, like. And then you've got to wear the costume the whole time. And then you've got to weigh in. And, like, sit down. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that the last time every living human was on Earth was November the 1st in the year 2000. Because you mean like not flying in the sky? Ah.

Oh, no. No, within Earth. Okay, you've got me there. Okay, wait, say again. Oh, and within Earth's atmosphere. The last time that every living human was within Earth's atmosphere was November 1st in the year 2000. Because of the International Space Station.

Correctamundo. It has been continuously occupied since November 2nd in the year 2000. It's never been empty. Would it be creepy to arrive to a... Imagine arriving to the International Space Station when there wasn't already somebody there. Oh, yeah. You know, like, you arrive there now and...

It's like when we go, Hello, comrade! Then you're like, Hello, I'm Vaughn. It's nice to meet you. And I imagine it's like when you go into a new flat and you don't know, like, where to put your stuff in the fridge,

in the pantry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, if somebody's already there, you can kind of follow their lead. Yeah. I was just thinking more freaky how it would have been if they were like, oh, this is Houston. You're about to dock with the International Space Station. Don't want to freak you out.

Nobody's been there for six months. And you'd be like, what's in here? It'd be like that time we arrived to that hut, that dock hut, and no one was there. Yeah. And then you open the door. Except in space. Yeah, but dock hut, and no one was there. Yeah. And then you open the door. Yeah, but it's in space. Where aliens live.

Yeah. Oh, I didn't think about aliens. Oh, that was my main freaky thing. Like, what's in there? I was like, no ghosts because no one's died up there. No ghosts. Has someone died up there? They only have an airlock to get in unless they're docking.

Then how's it happening? What, a ghost or an alien? An alien. No, maybe they're super advanced. They're smarter than us. Oh, okay. They know how to dock happening? What, a ghost or an alien? An alien. No, maybe they're super advanced. Aliens are smarter than us. Oh, okay. They know how to dock it. Yeah.

He's like, imagine if aliens get there and they're like, bleh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bonk, bonk, bonk. Nah, let's go home. Bleh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, they don't want to have the same connect car. They can't make the docking work. Why would you go blah, blah, blah? Another country and they don't have the...

Don't bleh, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you can't just take the piss out of their accent like that. It's galaxy-ist, if anything. We're the only people in this. Wow, how big is it? Which one are we in? Solar system-ist is what I should say. Yeah, right, okay.

We're the only ones in the solar system with a language. Languages. You certainly don't want to get caught doing alien face this Halloween, is what I'll say. I'll say that as well. They've been portrayed very poorly in the movies and it's not okay now for us to alien face.

At all. At all. Very rarely are they the good guys in the movies. That's Hollywood bias. Towards aliens. Maybe we were the bad guys all along. Have you thought about that?

You haven't. Now you have. We're all better when we start thinking about things from people's and aliens' point of view. Okay? So today's fact of the day is that ever since the 2nd of November in the year 2000, the International Space Station has been continuously occupied. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Facebook rolling out a couple of new little things.

So they're rolling out some music features today. This is a story from the States. Might take us a little bit longer. Yeah, but then sometimes we get stuff before them. I'm not sure, but they are rolling out new ways to use music. Starting from today, the story says

you'll be able to add music stickers to your Facebook stories, search out songs, and you'll be able to add them to to your Facebook stories, search out songs, and you'll be able to add them to your profile as well. Okay, because that, so on Instagram, you can add the music stickers. Yeah. But if you automatically share from Instagram to Facebook, it's not that you put music on there.

Yeah, but now you can. But now that they've got it, they're okay, I guess. You just be able to do it all on Instagram. Yeah, and you'll be able to add a song to your profile as well. So, which is like, do you remember? Like, was it MySpace or Bebo? You used to have your profile like back in the day. Yeah, someone opened up your profile, a song would just start playing.

Which would be annoying because you'd be on real shit internet and it would take ages to load. You'd be like, why'd you put a song on your profile? And then it'd be Paramore and you'd be like, not worth the wait. No. So is it going to be like that when you load up someone's profile it'll play?

Yeah, I'm guessing just a way of putting your favourite songs or artists. Anybody actually go to anybody's profile on Facebook? Not unless you're doing a light stalk. A little bit of a stalk.

Yeah. A little bit of a stalky stalk. Like I don't even post, like do you post stuff on Facebook? Not really. You post stuff about your kids but not as much as you used to. I know that they changed it a while ago because they were like, there needs to be less pages,

there needs to be more about friends and family. But I would, every third thing in my timeline would be targeted advertising now, because I've been a sucker and I've bought a couple of things. We've got this guy. Get him. Get him. I know I don't see a lot of stuff from friends.

It's all just like pages and ads and stuff. It's kind of a bit, I just don't bother really. Is that because you don't interact with you? Doesn't that give you more of whoever you interact with? So you're not commenting or liking friends' stuff. That's the thing. I hardly, I'll go on Instagram more than I would Facebook now. Yeah.

Right. I think that's kind of the way most people are going, isn't it? Yeah. And I've kind of got a thing on Instagram that if you watch through someone's story rather than just being like skip, skip, skip, skip, they generally jump to the front of your QA. Yeah, the people you interact with. Yeah, they prioritise.

Yeah, yeah. Show me yours. Show me who's at the front of yours. Well, let's just reluctantly go into this. I'll open up my Instagram now. Oh, no, it's good. It's the show Instagram. It's my friend

Johnny's girlfriend because I've not met her yet. Taking an active interest in their relationship. Watching that blossom. Intern Anya is my first one.

Ooh, okay. Second. Third. What second? What second? Someone from Brazil. Hola. Couple of people we work with My friend

Friends, friends, all friends All people you know Okay Good, see Step four Come to Brazil Come to Brazil Come to Brazil

ZM's Fletch Vaughn And Megan The podcast For more Check out ZM online ZM