ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - October 29 2019

Episode Date: October 28, 2019

Megan has a sad story to make you cry, This Is Why I'm Fat and we talk about ghosting in a relationship.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Flesh, Fauna, Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Still, yeah, still can't believe that there are some roadblocks in the inner city around the convention centre. There was a police officer on each corner again this morning. Yeah, I saw that too. Because, you know, I always lime to to work and you know, red lights, you know, lime in the middle of the road. 5, 5am,

don't count. I had an orange on my way through and I was like, hello, hello. What are you going to do? Piss you on foot? Yeah, no,

but I was literally like on foot on my lime, wasn't I? So I had to wait for the red light and it took forever. It's like two minutes

charging me the whole time and I said to him, Can't you just go on the pop-up? Well, no, I said to him, oh, when you're not here, I normally just, you know, jaywalk or whatever. Just run it. And what did he say? Just a wry kind of a, huh.

He was on his phone. Oh, he's sick. Exactly. Sick of standing in the cold. Five o'clock in the morning and he thinks. Doing nothing. You're coming in with some hot gags about having a way to the. A light. I thought it was a hot gagags about having a way to the... A lot.

I thought it was a hot gag. Turns out it really wasn't a hot gag. Are we mentioning the rugby this morning? Yeah, well, we've got to be grown-ups about this. We lost. We do, we lost. We got... That was a really hard game to watch.

Might be my fault. Why? I watched. I know, that's what I thought. It was the first game I watched. And I was like, why did I bother? That always happens when I watch, they lose. I kind of thought after 10 minutes, I was like, yeah, I don't know if I thought. It was the first game I watched. And I was like, why did I bother? That always happens when I watch, they lose. I kind of thought after 10 minutes, I was like, yeah, I don't know if I can keep doing this.

This doesn't look good. I was confused because everyone's like, wow, the All Blacks are on fire and everything. I was like, where did that, where? I don't see it. I don't see it in this game. So you know the guy that got the tattoo of the Rugby World Cup and then all the games. All the years that we've won it.

Yeah. He inked 2019 on there like a couple of weeks ago. Do you see this in the news? It's his fault. Well, we've managed

to track him down. Producer Caitlin's tracked him down. We're going to talk to him on the show this morning just to see if he's got any regerts. Because I think he might have a little regert.

Only good regerts here. When would the next Rugby World Cup be? Four years? Four years. So what would that be, 23? Can you turn a nine into a three? No, because you've got to change the one into a two. Oh, shit, you do too.

That's easy enough to do. Which is possible. That's possible. He should just get the one in the nine, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, lays it off. Yep. Pending. Pending, yes.

And just wait and we'd win it next time. And just hope now that World Rugby's caught up with us that it one day happens again. Yeah. Are the top sixers coming up on the show? Yeah, apparently 95% of police recruits have tats. One woman describing a trip to the court as a day unable to tell the difference between gang members

and police officers due to their scary tattoos. Oh, okay. So the top six scary tattoos that the New Zealand police have. All right. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. three news headlines, odd, quirky, unusual news story headlines that I've found.

And Vaughan and Megan picked one only of the following three. Headline one, gender reveal turns fatal. Headline two, restaurant under fire for lobster tank. And headline three, pilots in-flight entertainment. A go. Restaurant under fire for, is that the claw machine? The picking up the lobsters with the claw machine? It does involve a claw machine, yes, Megan.

There's a few claw machines that pick up live things. I thought we could all agree that we didn't need to tell humanity that's not okay. That's how we got our kids. Claw machine. They just put all the babies in the room and you're like, I'm the cutest one and you claw machine it. Or all the cutest ones underneath all the other ones.

And get down by the ugly ones. And you want a chubby baby, don't you? But the claw can't grab them. So for the skinny ones. Story one was the gender reveal. Turns fatal. Oh, yes. Someone's died.

Explosion. Reported death. Yeah. Yeah. Good Lord. Boil girl. Doesn't say it. That's what the story doesn't have any details other than someone just died from shrapnel.

So, crikey. That's the one detail we're all... Okay, well, it does. We go now to America and a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines says in a shocking new lawsuit that she caught two pilots streaming hidden camera footage into the cockpit, live from the plane's bathroom. Now, this apparently happened in 2017. Flight attendant Renee Steineke, she alleges in her lawsuit that she discovered the surveillance during a flight

when Captain Terry Graham asked her to come into the cockpit so that he could go to the bathroom. Because, you know, they do that thing now where ever since that guy nosedived a plane and killed himself and everyone on board, you've got to let one of the flight attendants go in while the other one comes out so that they could, if the other pilot decided to do something bad,

they could, I don't know, step in and overpower them. Donk them on the head? Donk them on, I don't know. step in and overpower them. Donk them on the head? Donk them on, I don't know. Yeah. So anyway, when she was in the cockpit and Captain Tezza was in the bathroom, she noticed there was an iPad on the windshield showing a live stream video of the bathroom.

The captain's co-pilot, Ryan Russell, panicked when he realised that she'd noticed the device. Russell claimed it was part of a new security measure featured on all of the flights, but the flight attendant wasn't fooled, and she snapped a photo of the iPad and alerted her superiors when the plane landed. And this is currently going through courts. I don't know what she wants out of it. Maybe.

What? Or if they're on trial, but that just says that it's a lawsuit. So maybe she's wanting damages. How do you live stream Wi-Fi? Well, yeah, I guess like just. Have you tried using a Wi-Fi on a plane? Rubbish. You wouldn't be able to live stream anything.

Yeah. You'd have to send a photo out. Yeah. Well, I guess it'd be like what Bluetooth thing. Like when you set up your GoPro. Nah, because a Bluetooth couldn't reach the bathroom.

Nah. Because that can't go through it has to be line of sight, right? Maybe they ran a cable through the wall. They unroll a little cable off a spill. Unroll that, get it in.

Tape it down to the floor so no one trips over it. Yeah, that's essential actually. Yeah, how... That's gross. Wow. Like, are they hoping actually. Yeah, how... That's gross. Like, are they hoping to catch someone mile high-ing?

I just don't know. I mean, I wouldn't find anyone going to the toilet sexy but then on a plane even less so. Yeah. You know those bathrooms are so manky?

Yeah. And you don't even want to touch anything let alone sit down unless you have to. Yeah, that's just yuck. Yeah. Yeah. Gross.

So unusual. Because they have the camera by the cockpit door, don't they, in the cabin so that they can see things. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe they just turned it around. I don't know. Maybe people who buy first class airline seats do sexy poos or something.

Maybe they do look better than us economy folk. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? But maybe they, when I'm like, trying to get things moving, they're like, like it's more of a sexy,

tingle, tingle, tingle, tingle. Like, I don't know. Maybe there's something in it to rich people. Maybe we're missing out. Although, no, Southwest Airlines is all economy and jammed in and it's bougie. It's like the Jetstar of America. Okay. Although, no, South West Airlines is all economy and jammed in and it's boujee.

It's like the Jetstar of America. Okay. No, you're not watching them, Poop. An Australian dad looking to stick to a budget, but also grant the wish of his daughters has started a business. Oh my God, is this you? You know, this has got me written all over it. He started a business, skippool.com.au. Okay.

And he has turned, as the name would suggest, old rubbish skips into pools. He came up with this idea. He's like, well, you know, the money you spend on the pool is a structural situation. Yeah. Into pools. He came up with this idea. He's like, well, you know, the money you spend on the pools, a structural situation. Yeah. It's got to be watertight. Yeah. Skips.

Watertight. It's got to be strong. Skips. Very strong. Yeah. Made of very strong steel. Made of steel. Yeah.

Easy to transport. Yeah. Crane it in. Yeah. Done. You just crane it in, then I guess just gas torch off those big hinge things off the side or just build a deck over them. Or dig a big hole.

Yeah, well, no, that's what he's done. Oh, right, yeah. But he said he's still got the things on the side that you need to smooth off a little bit. But when he first mentioned the idea to his daughter, one of them burst into tears because she didn't want to be like Pavo. But he's like, look, just give it a shot.

He fibreglassed the inside. So just painted that on, prepped it and everything. How do you, can you paint fiber? I don't know how fiberglass works. Yeah, it's like you mix up a pottle bucket.

What's it called? You put two things together and you can just kind of get it on. Fiber is something and glue. Yeah, something like that. And then it sticks on. Like, you know, you know the glue that Something like that. And then it sticks on. Like, you know, you know the glue

that is like nothing, the two things individually are nothing but then you squirt it and it sticks together. And then you mix it together and that's

when it's business time. Oh yeah. So it's like that, you know, you just do little batches and you can paint it on. And so he did the

inside of it and then painted it blue and built up around it and then just bought a filter for another pool. You know you can buy filters separately. Yeah. Jammed that on the side and now he's got this perfect little plunge pool. That's actually great because

those skips are quite big. Yeah. Not super, it's not big you can't do lengths in the pool or anything. But it's enough just to plunge in and just float around. And he said the other thing is you get a bigger pool, it's a lot of water. And Australia often has water shortages. So you put them underground and it holds the temperature right. And for most people it's enough just to jump in and have a little swim and be able to jump

out again. So how would he drain it though? Because how do you normally drain a pool? It's got a big plug at the bottom doesn't it is that how balls work yeah where does the water go out of the plug you just get a submersible pump i guess right or you could probably got to imagine putting your toes near the plug hole in a swimming pool like you could just i was just thinking you could put a hose into the filter yeah and then just disconnect it so it right okay and then you could refill it but was just thinking you could put a hose into the filter. Yeah. And then just disconnect it so it flowed out. And then you could refill it.

But, you know, if you look after, you can keep it in there for a while. How much is he charging for a skip pole that's been fiberglass? Well, I've gone to his, I was just reading the story of his origins. So his is four meters long, 1.5 meters wide, and either 1.5 or 1.2 meters deep. Yep. That's just looking at his skip if you go to a four if you go to skip pools australia uh design packages i'll just oh wait jesus how much plunge pulls from eight thousand nine hundred dollars no you've just told us how to do it surely you

could um i'm not paying you surely you could get a pool cheaper than that right i mean just get an inflatable pool yeah and the good thing about the inflatable pool is you take it down at the end of the season lovely like reminder on your lawn until next summer of where it was sitting although how much is a skip could you just get them to come around dump it down and just keep it is that how it works you might be able to buy this you might be able to buy a skip yeah we're gonna skip because we're doing renos. And I said to the builder, because when you hire the skip, you're allowed a certain weight in it, anything over that you pay for. And it's been raining.

And I said, what about the rain? Does it get out? And he said, nah, because if you pour paint or whatever in, you don't want it leaking. Right. I was like, I'm paying for the rain. Should I put a cover over it when it rains? Yeah, put a cover over it.

Yeah, sure. I didn't know it was weight, because I always chuck my rubbish in skips when people get skips. Well, it's space and it's weight. Right. So you probably shouldn't just chuck your rubbish in someone else's skip. Well, no, because it's taking up the space. They can't be full up their space. Right. And especially heavy rubbish.

Okay, good to know. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Today's Top Six deals with the fact that 95% of new cops are tattooed. It's part of the new, hey, you be a police officer campaign, that it's okay to have tats. Because it never used to be a while back. They had all these kind of rules. You weren't allowed to be under a certain height. You had to have a moustache, you had to be a while back. They had all these kind of rules, eh? Like you weren't allowed to be under a certain height.

You had to have a moustache, you had to have a penis, and you had to have absolutely no ink on your skin. Temporary henna or otherwise. Are we one of the most tattooed nations? I believe. We must be. Yeah. We must be.

I'd find a moustache more offensive than a tattoo. How dare you? Well, you've got a full beard. That's different. No, I know, but if anyone's going to have a moustache more offensive than a tattoo. How dare you? Well, you've got a full beard. That's different. No, I know, but if anyone's going to have a moustache, it's a place off. Okay, so I've found a story here with the countries with the most tattoos. Do you want to hear? Yep. Are we on there?

No. Oh, really? Italy, 48% is number one. Sweden, 47%. United States, 46%. Australia, 43%. So we might be on par with them, and Argentina 43. Okay. Well, that's, our police force

must be more highly tattooed than the general public then. Well, yeah, you'd think so. Because, yeah, 95% of new cops have tattoos, leading some old people to be like, Hey! Hey! Hey! of new cops have tattoos, leading some old people to be like, and sound like chucks. Getting into chickens?

Chucks laying eggs, yeah. Wow. Oh, this guy's got a full-blown Batman tattoo, Christian Bale Batman, on his forearm. Really? Not sort of a non-destruct

animated Batman. He's gone full Christian Bale on his Batman. But who cares? Like, I mean, obviously the older people still have a prejudice, but most young people don't care at all, do they?

It's not going to affect how they save my life if I need them. As long as they catch my burglars, I don't care. Yeah, well, some old bird reckons she couldn't tell the difference in who was the police and who were gang members on her recent trip to court. No one asked her why she was going to court. Only for a methamphetamine production.

It's definitely the cops with tats that are the problem. So the top six police tattoos that scare the public. Okay. Today's top six. Number six, a peace tattoo. Ooh. It reminds old people of hippies, which they were, but now that they're not, they've got a real problem with them.

Basically, that's how old people function. What they once were is what they are now not and they don't like what they once were if you're doing it. Yeah. It's all right if they were doing it then because that was a different time. But not now.

Not now. Get a job. Number five on the list of the top six police tattoos that scare the public, an anchor. Oh. That just reminds them of boats. And not moving in a boat. Maybe being anchored in a harbour.

Or being tied to an anchor and thrown into the sea. Oh, yeah, that's aggressive. Because they've been around since pirates were a thing, of course, when that happened more often. Number four on the list of the top six police tattoos that scare the public. Mum in a heart with an arrow through it.

Because that's pretty much saying they're killing their mum with a bow and arrow. Through the heart. That's how aggressive that is. Yeah. And they don't like it. Unless it's their son

because then it's pretty sweet because he's shown that he really loves his mum. Number three on the list of the top six police tattoos that scare the public. A flower. It could be any flower. It could be your favourite flower. But if it's not their favourite flower, they'll be offended.

How dare they? How absolutely dare you. Number two on the list of the top six police tattoos that scare the public. A smiley face. What's it smiling for? What's it been up to? What's it got planned? You've just committed a robbery, haven't you?

And you're on the arm of a police officer. Imagine being arrested or being shot by a policeman and they've got a smiley face tattoo. That's the last thing you see. It's on their forearm and they use their forearm to rest their gun on. You're like, is that a smiley face? What kind of gun was that? It sounded like it had a silencer. What kind of gun was that? Didn't want to make it too aggressive.

It sounded like it had a silencer. It did. Did it have a silencer? It did. Yes! It's a silenced PP7. Yeah. Nah, it's got to have more of a hard sound.

It sounded like this. Yeah. And number one on the top six list of the police tattoos that scare the public, a tattoo that says, sorry about this tattoo. Don't be sorry about it, just don't do it again. Don't do it again. It's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

They're currently searching for, in the world of robotics, a very friendly human face. Okay. Your face, if it is, I don't know what constitutes a human face. Okay. Your face, if it is, I don't know what constitutes a friendly face. That rules me out immediately because I've got that resting face, don't I? And you, you've got

that scowl that you just did. But you know, some people have just got like a kind... That's saved for you. Some people have just got a kind face. I'm a cousin with a very, very kind face. What's a kind face? You just got one of those faces that is like kind and she's happy. Like caring, kind eyes.

Yeah, yeah. I don't trust her. Immediately. Yeah, I know neither. But what's going on under there? Why are you so happy? We're too cynical. So if your face is selected, then you'll be taken to Robot HQ.

It sounds like a trap to me. It does, yeah. And your face will be cast and then it will be the face of what they describe as a global army of humanoid robots. Now, I wouldn't use army. Yeah, if you're going to make us be happy about it, don't use army. Yeah, if you're going to make us like be happy about it, don't use army. Also, why not use different faces? Yeah, because you'd think in different countries, different faces would. But then we can't recognise them as robots.

Oh, yeah, true. It needs a standout robot face. So imagine they use my cousin and her friendly face. What's your cousin's name? Casey. So they use Casey's friendly face. Cousin Casey. Cousin Casey's friendly face. Yeah. And it's a very friendly face. What's your cousin's name? Casey. So they use Casey's friendly face. Cousin Casey's friendly face. Yeah.

And it's a very friendly face. Okay. People always say you look very happy. Are they paying cousin Casey? They're going to pay her $130,000 US dollars. Oh, wow. Okay. But then her face now, that's a robot face.

And then what if it does all go tits up and they, you know, murder people? And then she's the face of the murderous robot army. But also we're all out to murder the robot army and then we see her walking down the main street of wherever she lives. And she's like, not me, I'm real. She's got an eye patch and a moustache on. She's trying to hide herself. The friendliness glows from underneath.

Yeah. I think any movie we've seen teaches us anything. It's that we shouldn't be going down this path. No. Because they will only kill us. Give them a human face. I'm okay with a robot looking like a robot. What about another animal's head like a dog?

No, because that'll freak people out when it starts talking. That's true. Okay. It's like, I'm just going to take the rubbish out. You're like, ah! I thought you were the actual retriever. You scared the hell out of me. Then you come in and the dog's talking to the robot

and they're both speaking English. I have taught the dog English. You're like, no, you shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that. No, no, no, no, no, no. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

New Zealand men have been rated the worst in the world at something. You shouldn't be laughing. You are a New Zealander. Yeah, but it doesn't affect me per se. So 22,700 per se. I said per se. Yeah, it didn't sound like it. I said per se.

Per se. Thank you. Just to clarify. More than 22,000 people online globally took part in this study. Okay. So they were asked to rate out of 10 people they have slept with. And then after they have rated them, they had to say where they were from, which country. And Kiwi guys ended up with a rating

of four out of 10. That is the lowest. Well below. The United Kingdom, the UK, six out of 10. So easily Kiwi guys were rated the lowest. But that's just those people going on their OE

to London, isn't it? Rubbish in bed. We should be blaming them. Or they get jet lag. They're living there for a year at least. But what about people who come here? Or the tourists who come here? What's the excuse then?

I'm just trying to... But they're going ahead. We're the first ones to get the day. They're hitting the day of free. And they're probably jet lag too. Anti-jet lag. I think we can safely blame jet lag for our poor sexual performance. Right.

Easy. So on the other side of the scale, men from Australia, which is upsetting. Are you kidding me? America and South Africa are the best lovers in the world. No, they're not. Which is why I'm married to South Africa. Also three pretty racist countries. So I don't know if there's a correlation there.

Yeah, right. What other countries? Did it mention any other countries in the survey? So, we know that, oh, then it goes on to women. So, women from the US, Canada, and France, and Italy were voted the best female lovers. And New Zealand women got a rating out of 6 out of 10, but they're still

among the lowest Spanish women not great lovers surprisingly too much paella they're full of shrimps and rice and beans

make you farty paella guessy sluggish from the carbs guessy I'd love to make love but I've just eaten a large pan of paella.

Paella. Paella. Unbelievable. Yeah, wow. So just lift your game, actually. I had a Canadian lover once, just hearing the news there, that Canadian woman, a great love mother. Just hearing you say you had a lover.

Was it a passionate, intimate night? She was very... Yeah, right. It was multiple nights. She was very... You got a callback. Yeah. See, that's a good was very, yeah, right. It was multiple nights. She was very. You got a call back. Yeah. See, that's a good endorsement if you get a call back.

Multiple nights, that's not what I thought you were going to say. I was like, wow. I don't know what else you're talking about. Multiple what? That's not good news. What are we doing wrong then, do you think? I think selfish. Right.

I mean, I haven't actually been with a lot of Kiwi men, so maybe I can't comment. Well, I've just been with the one. Me. I always have a great time. I'd put Kiwi men as high as any men in the world that I've ever been with. Just based on that.

Yeah. So I'm ever been with. Just based on that. Yeah. So I'm never I'm never disappointed. Caitlin, does Caitlin want to yep. Well, Caitlin's single now

so we can have a comment from Caitlin. I knew you were going to come to me. Kiwi men. Have you been with any like what about South Americans

aren't on this list? I have been with an array. Okay. And what do you think? Do you think this is a correct study? I don't know.

Mostly Kiwi men or have you... Mostly Kiwi men. Oh, what about that sports? What was that? Oh, yeah. No, we're not going into this. The sports import. No, you just have to say nationality.

Just in your mind, the best time you had, what nationality? I don't know. Okay. Nah, New Zealand. I don't know. I probably haven't. I could do some more experimenting, to be honest. Dothraki?

Oh. Ah, yeah, I know what you mean. Took a while, took a while but she got there. She didn't get it. Okay, we're not going

into this. Goodbye. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So at the weekend in Anubia with some friends

and driving to the clubs. Oh, you're not driving. Did you go to the clubs? No, I just went out for a couple. Bullshit, you went to the clubs at a very not driving. Did you go to the clubs? No, I just went out for a couple. It lasted like half an hour.

You went to the clubs. You had a very social weekend. Why were you going to the clubs? Well, we'd watched the rugby. We'd been drinking. What? So you're going out to the clubs after the rugby? That's very late to be going to the clubs.

Well, it is for you because you don't go out ever. It's very late for anybody. But I feel the nation was somewhat depressed. It didn't last long. Everyone was kind of in a meh mood. Yeah, right. But anyway,

the Uber picked us up and we were driving behind a hotel in Auckland here, the Langham. Is that what it's called now? Cordis. Cordis, yeah.

It used to be the Langham. It's now the Cordis. Cordis Hotel. And they've got a buffet, a buffet. We've actually, we did the breakfast there, eh? It's one of the most amazing buffets.

Oh, eight. Eight. Eight, yeah. Anyway, so the Uber driver points at this hotel and he's like, great buffet in there. He's got good taste. He's not wrong. He knows.

He knows. And I'm like, yeah, I've been for breakfast. It was all right. It was a good buffet. It was, you know, decent. He's like, yes, I went for the dinner though. And I'm like, oh, I've been for breakfast. It was all right. It was a good buffet. It was, you know, decent. He's like, yes, I went for the dinner though. And I'm like, oh, I've never been to the dinner. But I'm assuming it's pretty ooh-la-la

because breakfast is next level as far as buffets go. And he goes, yes, I starved myself for two days drinking only tea to prepare. And I was like, you what? He starved himself. And I'm like, you're serious? And he's like, yeah, I just had tea. And then I hit the buffet, all the seafood.

I ate all the seafood. He's driving the Uber like delirious hunger and lack of sleep. Wouldn't that have the opposite effect? Wouldn't it shrink your stomach? Yeah, no, my granddad had a bit of, you have a big breakfast. Yeah. Massive breakfast. Okay.

But just one you can have. And it stretches your guts. Yeah. And then you just slam water all day. Okay. Drink as much water as you can. Really? Yep.

Because it keeps it out. But then when you wee and it goes down, you get hungry. And then you hit the buffer. You hit your valentines. You hit your memory lane. That sounds like old mate science. And you just go, absolutely bananas. So I Googled their website because I was like,

I think he said 140 to me. But I looked online. It depends when you go. But on a Saturday night, I'm guessing prime time, you're only allowed to book for two hours for their dinner because they don't want fatty boomsticks going for four hours. Or marathon. The longer you're there, the more you can eat.

$128 for the primetime Saturday buffet per person. So he starved himself for two days, paid $128 and he said he has never eaten as much seafood in his life. Was my father-in-law your Uber driver? This has got John Senior written

all over it. Drinking nothing but tea because he's going to spend a lot of money on a meal. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. Even though he's like a multi-millionaire. Yeah, and then get there and he's like, seafood, baby. Let's ponder the oceans.

Good God. Just nuts, eh? Sadness. But it was the way that he was telling us. He was so proud. Or just the fact that he managed to only drink tea for a couple of days. I know, I would have been so hangry. I don't know how he did it.

Tea as well, not even coffee. Because he was so proud, I wondered this morning, could we take some calls and ask you what is your biggest eating achievement? You know, your proudest meal moment. I don't know that I have one. Oh, I've got plenty. I knew you would. I knew you would.

And in the early 2000s, Big Macs were $2 on Tuesday. God, you sound so old saying that. $2 for a Big Mac. Was it $2? It was $5. No, it was like a massive, it was nuts.

Now, wasn't it two for five? Like, wasn't there a special way back in the day? It was nuts. It didn't last very long because New Zealanders were just like, what'd you say? I ate all of it. I'm pretty sure it was. Okay. Because for $10, I got five and I ate them all.

Five Big Macs for $10? No, it must have been four for 10. I'm pretty sure it was. How are you eating five Big Macs? Like, for reals? I don't know. And then we did the full pounder, which is where you buy four quarter pounders and you make them one big burger and you eat that.

God, it's no wonder you were, yeah. We did the ultimate, what do we call it, the ultimate mega something quarter pack. It was when we lived by KFC and we like got heaps of chicken and then you know how they give you a little potato and gravy. It was like a family potato and gravy and like a family and six buns. And then we ate it all.

Whose way? Like five people? No, no, no. Individuals. You had time to work on it. Okay. There was a lot. There was a lot of that. There was the muscles on the barbecue. We'd get like one of those little round barbecues.

Yep. One of those little gas mate situations and fill it all up with muscles. Right. And then you had to like race to see who could eat the most. Oh my God. Of the muscles on the barbecue.

And it was just like everyone was going nuts because you didn't want to miss out. Well, we've already got a couple of stories. 0800DilesAtM9696, what's your biggest eating achievement? Was it lots and lots of food in one sitting? Was it something that you starved yourself for just so you could get there? Was it an eating competition?

Like your brother's done that. What did he do, that big steak? He did the 2kg steak in Texas. And he said the Japanese girls were chanting, eat the meat, eat the meat. And he said it's the only time in his life he's had cheerleaders. Right. Your brother.

They wanted photos of him. I'll wait. I'll wait. Had you dialed at him. Give us a call. So we want to know this morning, your biggest eating achievements. My Uber driver at the weekend starved himself for two days drinking only tea

just to be able to go to the $128 buffet to eat all the seafood. He gets it. He knows. And he was so proud. And I was just like, this is such a great moment. And I'm happy for you. And he was happy. You should have almost said to him, yeah, start starving yourself

Tuesday. We're going back. Just to witness it because I bet you'd just never witness a human happier than absolutely pigging themselves.

Yeah. Like eating as many calories in one meal as they should probably have over the course of a week. Yeah. Well, we are the third or now second

fattest nation in the world so we've got some eating achievements. It's because of buffets. Yeah, it is. We love a buffet world. So we've got some eating achievements. It's because of buffets. Yeah, it is. We love a buffet. Some text messages on your proud eating achievements. And somebody said, yeah, I remember the $2 Big Macs.

Somebody messaged me and I Googled it. Yeah. So in 2012, Andrew Loder wrote on McDonald's. No, it didn't happen in 2012. Oh, okay. In 2012, Andrew Loder wrote on McDonald's. No, it didn't happen in 2012. In 2012, Andrew Loder wrote on McDonald's Facebook page, I've got a suggestion. Bring back $1 cheeseburger Mondays, $2 McChicken Tuesdays,

and $2 Big Mac Wednesdays. This was 2000, 2001. And it was a great way to start the week. He said, I've been waiting 12 long years to bring it back. And they said, have you tried anything off our loose change menu? And he's like, don't change the subject. Get it done. Wow, so you actually did eat five Big Macs for $10.

Yeah. My God, that's insane. Andrew's going to log on to Facebook today and get notifications that Vaughn Smith liked a post of his that he made seven years ago. And be like, why has he done that? Where's that come from? So your weird eating achievements. Charlie, you've got one? So it's not actually me.

It's my partner. Okay. We used to go to Serengeti's when they did All You Can Eat Ribs. And we went there and we were actually eating so much. Well, my partner was eating so much that the waiter would stand by our table and just wait for him to get down to the last couple of ribs and go back to the kitchen and bring out a plate before we could finish it. And he went through maybe six plates and it ended up just being him eating and the rest

of us were just kind of watching him. Those ribs were fantastic. It doesn't exist anymore though, does it? No, they actually shut down. I wonder why. I wonder why, yeah. Ruined it for the rest of us. I think there's a reason like buffets are like $100 and something for dinner, eh?

Because New Zealanders. I remember back in the day when it was like $25 for a Valentine's buffet and my family would walk in and they'd almost be like, uh-oh, uh-oh. Yeah, not charging enough. Hey, Charlie, thanks for your call. Joel, what's your eating achievement? There's an all-you-can-eat pizza place close to us, and I managed to get through 20 pieces,

which is two and a half pizzas. And how did that work out price-wise? Cheaper than buying two and a half pizzas? It certainly was. Slightly bougie pizza place. Ooh, okay. It obviously runs in my family, because for my sister's

16th birthday went to a all you can eat pizza place and she finished 16 pieces of pizza

and she ain't a big girl wow okay these places are going to see you guys

coming soon do they have an ice cream machine as well the first my sisters did and I

was having ice cream eating races with my other sister You guys are a great fun family I like you guys already Thanks you cool Joel

Got him a Pizza Hut soft serve machine Remember the chocolate mousse Yeah But that's about it Jalen what was your eating achievement So I took my family Out to Denny's for dinner. Oh, okay.

And I ordered me this massive, big order. I had a premium burger, chicken burger, buffalo wing, shrimp salad, and hot cake. Okay. And they turned up on the table, and everyone was like, oh, and I was like, that wasn't mine. Were you eating

hotcakes for pudding, Jalyn? Yeah, because I like it all, like, together. Right, okay.

Did you finish it? Yeah, I finished it. It took me a while, but I go to these and order whatever you want, but they just, like,

were being polite and watching me eat and I was like, oh, what are you doing? They just sit there watching you eat. You know,

when you've got an audience, you must be doing a similar thing. Exactly. Hey, Jalen, thanks for your cool some text messages. Back when Valentine's was a great family countrywide restaurant, I once ate two and three quarter pavlovas. You could just grab a whole one and take it back to your table. So I thought, why not? So back when we had two and three quarter pavlovas. Now, granted a thought, why not? So back I went. I ate two and three quarter

pavlovas. Now, granted a pavlova squashes down to not much. But you've still ate two and three quarter pavlovas. After you got through one at your table, you thought, that was not enough. I'm going back to grab another whole one. I'm just googling a pavlova recipe, because how much

sugar would that be? It'd be a lot. Wouldn't you be eating nearly close to like a kg of pavlova recipe because how much sugar would that be? In each pavlova? It'd be a lot. Wouldn't you be eating nearly close to like a kg of pav? Two cups of caster sugar in a pav and six egg whites. So they had like five cups of sugar? Yes. Over that whole...

Somebody said when we were at uni, somebody said we should do the Bruce Bogtrotter challenge. Now this is off Matilda. Is it Matilda the Bruce Bogtrotter? Oh, Bruce Bogtrotter. Yeah, I think so. Ate chocolate cake. So we all ate an entire huge chocolate

cake. Powered my way through it. Didn't throw up but didn't eat for a day either and crikey dick, that chocolate cake came out at a hell of a consistency. This is not good. A dude I work with ate 44 pieces of pizza

Did he die? No In an hour lunch break That can't be right He must have been Little pizzas Must have been little pizzas And was he eating the crust?

Because I don't eat the crust No, not if you're doing that Surely not My record is 11 slices of Sal's pizza Jeez Because that's big pizza I once made and finished a 14 egg omelette I could do that.

Yeah, because Fletch is always like scrambling his eggs or making an omelette and be like, no, it just like cooks down to nothing. It does scrambled eggs. How much are your eggs? Like five eggs per omelette? No, I always do four in an omelette and scrambled eggs is four.

Yeah. Scramble, yeah. And then I did two poached eggs the other day for breakfast and I was like, this is not enough. My sister and I enjoy the Maharaja Banquet from our local Indian takeaway store. I'm in for about six people, but we can do it between the two of us.

We went to a Korean barbecue buffet and stayed for three and a half hours till closing time. They were just standing around our table at the end, watching us eat. $35 and we ate the entire three and a half hours we were there. Do you think at that Korean restaurant they have a special code

to swing into action to intimidate you to stop eating? Maybe stand over you. Yeah, definitely could happen. My brother-in-law and I once visited and ate from every takeaway store in Taumuru. For a laugh, Pizza Hut, BK Maccas and KFC didn't feel good for the rest of the weekend I must admit. Probably didn't need to eat

either. No. Marbles Buffet, a report there of making themselves vomit on the free jelly beans. Yeah, because that's a New Plymouth institution. I think it's one of the busiest buffets. It was a story only a few weeks ago, one of the busiest buffets in the country. Is it? Really? Busiest restaurants.

Yeah, it's crazy. But I think they got rid of the jelly beans, because back in the day... People abused that. Bev, she'd take her purse, Mum would take her purse, and we'd load up into napkins all the jelly beans because back in the day people abused that. Bev would she'd take her purse mum would take her purse and we'd load up into napkins all the jelly beans and maybe some like muffins and croissants

and donuts and just put them in her handbag. That's kind of theft. I was always down for stealing a jelly bean but I was never stealing pastries.

Oh you every spare I'd tell mum to take the checkbook out and all that crap in her purse just so there's lots of room. It's all you can eat

when you're there not all you can take away as well. If they don't know. Your mum takes one of those tri-coloured woven plastic bags that you get from the $2 shop and is a purse. Somebody said, ah, do the 24 Weet-Bix Challenge. It's where you just open one of those small boxes and pour a litre of milk straight into it.

No, thank you. And then you can eat it. Put five cups of sugar on it. Well, they also do that. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack.

More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. So in 2007, there was a TV show that came out, Summer Heights High. Chris Lilley. My drama classroom is my haven. It's where I come alive. Welcome to Mr. G's room, G's room, G's room. Welcome to Mr. G's room.

Come inside. My teaching methods are fairly unique. Someone join in. I get pretty experimental. You sound like... And I go crazy sometimes. I just pretty experimental. And I go crazy sometimes. I just let loose. Thank God you're here. Where have you been

bitch? One thing that I like to do from time to time is I just perform for the kids for a whole lesson. Just to give them a sort of benchmark of how things are done. That's my favourite dancing scene there. Go on, it's good. So good.

So yeah, Summer Heights High, that was Mr. G. It was a montage of Mr. G, but that's where Jermaine came from as well. One of the characters in Summer Heights High. But Chris Lilley was doing an Ask Me Anything on Reddit. And someone politely asked if he would ever do a Mr. G spinoff. And that's when Chris Lilley said, yeah, probs. They'll all come back eventually. And the internet, of course, heard this last night and went absolutely crazy.

Absolutely crazy. So Summer Heights High 2007. Right. So how's that aged? Not well. Has anyone watched it lately? I have, yeah. I started watching it at the start of the year.

And it's not... In this current climate, I don't know that you'd get away with a lot of that. He's done a lot of blackface over his time. Yeah, you say that, but then even, yeah, his recent series. But he wore it a bit more. But he still got away with it. Yeah. I don't think he cares. So Lunatics had the South African woman who could read

pets' minds. Yeah. And it was like brown face. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think after... But you know, even his original series, We Can Be Heroes, which followed people who were nominated for Australia in the year, he did a character called Ricky Wong

and dressed up like an Asian and did a full Asian accent for the whole character. Oh, you'd never be able to do that now. Yeah. It's quite just, yeah. Well, either way, Summer Heights High was great, let's be honest, at the time. But Mr. G might

be the only one who could actually come back. And even then... I mean, some of the things Mr. G said was the only one who could actually come back. And even then... I mean, some of the things Mr. G said was on the nose as well. Sure. Well, fingers crossed. Looks like it won't be happening. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. So this is normally actually called Vaughan's sad story to make you cry. Vaughan, normally you find a sad story and the goal is to make producer Caitlin and Megan sob uncontrollably and cry. Yeah. Well, today Megan's flipped it around because she's found a story. I also saw the story last night and even I was just like, wow.

Yeah. I cried reading it out loud to my husband and I had to pause to compose myself. I've just glanced at it again and I'm feeling a bit... Okay, producer Caitlin, how are you feeling after the long weekend? Are you volnese today or are you okay? I'm a little bit volnese. Okay. My niece cried yesterday when I left her, so that was a bit hard for me.

Did that make you cry as well? Yeah. Anya, what about you? Are you in an emotional state after the weekend? Yeah, always. Does this segment normally make you cry, though? The dog that needed BK made me bull for a week. What was the dog that needed?

Oh, the dog that was dying and they gave him a little. No, I just really touched you. I'm not even really an animal person, but I think the BK touched me. You're a BK person, though. Yeah. Okay, so. The BK lounge. So, okay, a warning.

Get your tissues ready. When you try your best. I mean, this song does the hard yards every time. Okay, little bit of backstory. This is an American woman. She posted this exchange on her Facebook. Her name is Chastity. And she would text her father's mobile phone

on the anniversary of his death every year. Okay? I'm going to read you her message. This is the anniversary. Oh, no, I don't know where to get another message. Let's just be happy that she did it. We've already nearly got him. Hi, Dad.

It's me. Tomorrow is going to be a tough day again. It's been four years since I lost you and not a day goes by that I don't miss you. A lot has happened in that small time, but I'm sure you know since I tell you all the time. I beat cancer and I haven't gotten sick since you were here. Like I promised you, I would take better care of myself. Oh, my God. I finished college and graduated honours.

Now I'm back and finishing it up again. I fell in love. I had my heart broken. You would have killed him. But I picked my head up and became an even stronger woman. I lost all of my friends and I hit rock bottom, but I found someone who came into my life and saved me. I don't have children yet.

You'd be so happy, but I'm ready. I still drive Mama crazy every day, but I'm keeping her on her toes. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most, but one day we will have our chance to watch that game. I'm afraid of marriage because I'll have to walk that long aisle alone. Oh, shit. And you won't be there to tell me everything will be okay. I'm doing great.

You'd be so proud of the woman I have become. No smart mouth and attitude has not changed, and no, I haven't gained weight. It only goes to my head. I just wanted to say I love you, and I really do miss you. She sends messages like this all the time to her dad's mobile

phone. For herself, right? Yeah. I guess like writing a diary, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Keeping them updated and it's like therapeutic for her. Yeah. On the fourth anniversary she sends that text message and she gets a reply. From heaven.

Is that from heaven, Megan? Because you know I'm an atheist. This is going to ruin everything for me. No, wait. Hi, sweetheart. Sweetheart. I am not your father, but I've been getting all your messages for the past four years. I look forward to your morning messages and your nightly updates.

My name is Brad. And I lost my daughter in a car wreck. Oh, my God. On August 2014. And your messages have kept me alive. I'm sorry. This is really hard. Oh, my God. What? No. I'm sorry, this is really hard. Oh my God, what?

No, I don't want to do it anymore. Hang in there. We've got this. When you text me, I know it's a message from God. I'm sorry you lost someone so close to you, but I've listened to you over the years and I have watched you grow

and go through more than anyone. I've wanted to text you back for years, but I didn't want to break your heart. You're an extraordinary woman, and I wish my daughter would have become the woman you are. Thank you for your everyday updates. You remind me that there is a God, and it wasn't his fault that my little girl is gone.

He gave me you, my little angel, and I knew this day was coming. Everything will be okay. Oh, God. Push yourself every day and shine the light God gave you. I'm so sorry. You have to go through this, but if it makes it any better, I'm very proud of you.

P.S. I think your father would be happy to know that you brought another dog instead of having children. Take care, and I look forward to your updates tomorrow. Oh, Caitlin. Oh my gosh. I need a break. Dude, it's so hard writing that out.

Look at my hands. That didn't get you though, did it? No. I thought it would. I thought you guys built it up a bit too much. Are you kidding? She lost her dad. And in messaging her dad she found someone

who lost her daughter. When you were like it almost got fledged I'm like this will be... That's really touching. That's really sad. She lost her dad and she continued texting

this man who had lost his daughter. But are they like caught up for a coffee or anything? Is there any word on a fellow? It only just happened.

I knew that James wouldn't cry. He was laughing. I saw him laughing. I love you, Dad. I love my dad. I just want to say that. Dad, I love you. Was the aisle thing that got me?

Did it hit you? Needs more BK, I reckon. It needed a whopper. It needed a whopper. Yeah, you're right, actually. I hope that he walks her down the aisle when she decides to do it. He will, though. He will.

Oh, my God. He will, though. This is what the world needs more of. And a fry pod. Ew. You may have seen the photo doing the rounds of the New Zealand

the Web Alice trophy which is the Rugby World Cup with all blacks at the top and then the years that we've won 1987

2011 2015 and it's not to be but the person with the tattoo decided to just go on and take a big leap of faith

and get 2019 put on there as well he joins us on the phone his name is Sean good morning Sean to just go on and take a big leap of faith and get 2019 put on there as well. He joins us on the phone. His name is Sean. Good morning, Sean. Hey, how's it going? Good.

Now, so this was circulating pre-Saturday's game against England that we lost, and people were like, wow, it's cocky. But, you know, we're feeling good as a nation. You know, we've got this. We've got it. You know, like you, you just decided to get 2019 tattooed on. And then we lost on Saturday. How were you feeling at that moment?

Well, I'm probably all here right now. I'm devastated. Yeah, but I don't have the tattoo on me. There's no regrets whatsoever getting it. No, yeah, no regrets. So are you planning on just keeping it there? You're not going to cover it up or get it taken off? Hey, there's no regrets whatsoever getting it. No, yeah, no regrets. Okay. So are you planning on just keeping it there? You're not going to cover it up or get it taken off? No, I'll never cover it.

I'll never change it. I'll keep it exactly how it is. Okay. But what about, so what if we win in 2023? Would you get the 19 turned into a 23? No, like I said, I'll never change it. So you're going to save 2019 and then add 2023? Oh, I've got another leg.

We can start on that one. Right. Do you think you'll wait until we win to get that tattoo, Sean? No, no, no. I hate to even know. You know, we could start pre-thinking this thing, you know, go in each week and probably get a little bit, you know? Okay.

How soon after the match started did you start receiving messages from your friends? Yeah, it was pretty much, well, the whole way it all started from Thursday when the wife put it up online, you know? It just went from there. And then the papers, then it even went to BBC, got three phone calls from them. Oh, no.

And so, like, five minutes in when we're 7-0 down and it doesn't look like we're coming back. No. Well, I probably felt the same as the other 100 people behind me watching the game, you know. No one was really thinking about the shadows, even though we laughed about it all day. And then, yeah yeah the place was pretty

pretty quiet i'll tell you wow okay and so you're keeping it wow okay yeah yeah no there's no way i'll change it you know like i said to everyone else i woke up on last monday morning with a vision and that was my version and i just stuck with it the whole time, 100% backing Blacks. Right. Well, at least you didn't, like, bet your house on the game or anything like that. It's just a little bit of ink, isn't it? Oh, that's a bit too much,

but hey, like, everyone that knows me, you know, I'm a rugby nut, you know, love the All Blacks for the passion, and yeah, you know, even on my forearm, I've even got a big silver fern, and I've had that on there for 10 years, so, yeah, you know, even on my forearm, I've even got a big silver fern, and I've had that on there for 10 years. So, yeah. So you're still proud of the boys now? Oh, yeah. It's just crazy.

You know, I went down to the local watering hole yesterday, and as soon as I walked in the door, everyone just kind of went quiet. Then a big cheer, you know what I mean? There he is. That moment, they're like, he's got that tattooed on him. Yeah, yeah. And then one of them piped up and said, oh, look, hey, the Melbourne Cup's coming up next week.

Should we get a tattoo on the other one? You can predict the winner. So, yeah. It's been good. With some of the good, there's been a lot of bad that's come with it, but I've just taken it on the chin. What, like actually people messaging negative bad stuff?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just have to leave. I've had so many friend requests from people, and then the messages follow, you know, just hate towards me and the family, you know? What? What is wrong with people? I know, and I just don't even reply

because the thing that you bite on one, then it's just going to bite on the rest, you know? Oh, they're worth too much time on their hands. Ignore the haters. I don't know. Yeah. God, the interest. Sean, they're just taking their rage and upset out on you, mate.

Oh, and that's it. And if you're a true All Black supporter that you say you are, you would never say anything to another All Black supporter, you know? Yeah. Or just another human being, maybe. Hey, Sean, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us this morning. Hey, no, nothing to worry about. Good luck for

2023. Hey, I'm back in black 100% like I said. One watch to the space, anything could happen from now until then. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So we've got correspondence from someone who wishes to remain anonymous, but this is a relationship situation. Is it a am I a bad person?

No. Okay, I'll just play the normal music. Yeah. Go ahead. No, at no point do they say am I a bad person. Okay, right. So it says Hi guys, I'm so fed up and confused right now

And I feel like you and perhaps your listeners Might be able to help me with this Please keep me anonymous Okay So I've met this guy on Bumble And we've hit it off straight away We've been hanging out for three months Basically acting like boyfriend and girlfriend do

We go away on weekends I thought that said massage. It says message all day. I've got to imagine massages all day. Yeah. Message all day and I really, really like him. But he doesn't want to put a label on it.

He makes excuses not to meet any of my friends and family and I haven't met any of his. Question. Am I just wasting my time? I think I could actually love this guy but I'm so scared that he'll ghost me.

It was all good until we got to the point when he makes excuses not to meet any of her friends and family. But then three months, is that just,

maybe he's just trying to take it easy? I don't know. maybe he's just trying to take it easy? I don't know. Maybe he's been burned before. What you're describing is a situationship. Have you heard this term before? No.

But you've mashed together situation and relationship. So let me define what the internet calls a situationship. A situationship is essentially a relationship that hasn't been defined. Okay. So anything that precedes the DTR, define the relationship conversation, but follows the initial few dates. It is a confusing time because she said they haven't put a label on it. Three months is a long time to not be like, but then, yeah,

this is where what she just gets ghosted and never hears from him again. Because that's essentially what the situationship is. It will just end in being ghosted more often than not. See, I thought it was... I would have jumped to the conclusion

that a situationship was a relationship that only lasted as long as a situation was present. Like, I'm here on a three-month exchange. Okay. And you're local to this place where I am. But I'm not going to be here for long.

And I doubt in three months we're going to so fall so wildly in love that you follow me back. So let's just make this a situationship. Here's another urban dictionary. I've read here. I've read here. It's only a sentence a relationship that has no label on it like friendship but more than

friendship but not quite a relationship So at what point are you are people still even having those conversations where like what are we like and then at what point do you have those because it's so awkward. But it's really leaving things open isn't it because if you're not defining it then you could sleep with other people.

You're like, well, we're not boyfriending a friend. Yeah, like, oh, I was allowed to. We haven't. Yeah. But yet you're doing everything that's in a relationship. Yeah. They're going away on weekends and they message all day. But then he might be going away on weekends and messaging other people.

But the fact that he doesn't, why does he want to meet any of her friends? Oh, because that's pretty intimidating, isn't it? Yeah. Meeting the friends, because one's always the overly dramatic, aggressive one. Hurt my friend and I'll stab you. It's like, Jesus, Karen, back up. With that, you're coming in hot. Put down your hairdressing scissors, Karen.

I'm already scared enough. You're on your way to course. All right. But if you were really, really into someone, you'd be like, all right with it, wouldn't you? But why isn't she bringing it up? Well, because it's awkward, I imagine. Yeah.

But then it's everything that a relationship is. And then as soon as you're like, hey, what are we like? Can we define this? Like, you're always scared the guy's going to be like, no, see ya. We need to talk. No. Okay, I mean it's obviously a few red flags. So what do you want to do? Take some calls,

your text messages. I think we should, maybe we should hear from people that have been in this situation. Maybe you were in a situationship or this kind of period of three or four or five months where it wasn't defined and then what did you do? Did you have that chat or did they ghost?

Or did you bring it up and then they left? Like what should she do? She wants to know if she's wasting her time. 0800 dials at M 9696 to text. And especially if you've ghosted someone. It can be anonymous. I just want to know what it means. I want to hear from a ghoster.

Why did you ghost? Who's ghosted someone after like six months or longer and what was your reason to? Give us a call. So somebody's in a relationship pickle. This female has sent a message through. She met this guy on Bumble and they've hit it off straight away.

They've been hanging out for three months, acting like BFGF, going away on weekends, messaging all day. She really likes him. BFGF, that Roald Dahl book. Yeah. Yes. Now, this is the problem. I'm glad that's making you laugh so much, mate.

He's still going. One of Roald Dahl's classics. The BFG. F. The big friendly giant friend. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend giant or not? Stop eating the girlfriends. Oh, I'm trying.

And your BFG sounded like the guy from Batman. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? You should be adopted to darkness. Okay, so this is a problem. He refuses to put a label on it. He makes excuses not to meet any of my friends and family, and I haven't met any of his. So, and I've said the term situationship.

Urban Dictionary coins that as a relationship that has no label. It's like a friendship, but more than a friendship, but not quite a relationship. He's a hitman. The grey area. He's a hitman for hire. He's a hitman. But that's the thing.

It does mean that people can be, I don't know, maybe hiding something or that they want options open. People date several people at a time these days. Or just no one's brought up the conversation yet. So what does she do? Let's take some calls. Alicia. Oh, my God.

This has red flags all over it. I know enough about human behaviour to know that he's hiding something. Whether his actual girlfriend or wife or whatever it is overseas at the moment, which is what I suspect. Jesus. You've gone like full. I didn't even consider that there was a wife. You're going deep end.

Well, no, but there. Yeah. Honestly, I deal with people all day. And when they, when they, when they, it's, he's hiding something. If you're three months down the track and you're feeling like that towards each other, you're spending that much time. You are going to, you're spending that much time, you are going to, you want to meet the friends,

you want to, like... I want to know, Alicia, if she's posting pictures of them together on, like, Facebook or Instagram, and if he is as well. Is he untagging? Is he untagging? Like, what's the deal there? Because that's also a giveaway

if someone's hiding something as well, like you say, Alicia. Thanks for your call. No worries. She needs to confront him. Yes, thanks. Libby? Yeah, hi.

What do you reckon she should do? I kind of see it in a couple of ways, just because with my previous relationship, I was kind of in this situation too. My ex-partner didn't really, like, want to meet my friends. And I know that it's because my ex was a very shy and reserved person. So that could be one thing, you know, the guy could be, like, really reserved and shy and doesn't want to, like, meet the friends and family yet.

Right, so it doesn't mean that he has, like, a secret girlfriend or something. Not necessarily. Like, just because the girl in this situation hasn't brought that he has, like, a secret girlfriend or something. Not necessarily. Like, just because the girl in this situation hasn't brought it up yet, I don't think anyone should be jumping to conclusions until it's actually being, you know, talked about and mentioned. Right. Okay. But, yeah, like everyone else has been saying, you know,

the guy could be hiding something. He could, you know, maybe wanting to be seeing other people and doesn't want to commit and make it official and whatnot. But I think the girl should definitely talk to him about it.

Yeah, have the conversation. Such a weird idea having a conversation with someone about it just to see where you're both at. It's not easy. If only it was that easy. No, it's not easy.

Thanks, Libby. Thanks, Libby. Anonymous, you are currently in this situation. I was currently easy? No, it's not easy. Thanks, Libby. Thanks, Libby. Anonymous, you are currently in this situation. I was currently in this situation, yes. Right. And so what was he hiding?

So he was hiding his partner and his child. Oh, my God. Where was he hiding them? In the cupboard. But like this, how do people balance this? Do they not have lawns to mow? Like, how do they find the time?

Where do you find the time? Exactly. He doesn't have a lot of time. How did you find out? So I met like these friends through a friend and was talking about him and they were like,

oh yeah, I know who that person is. Did he break up with his partner? And I was like, wait, what? And then she's like, yeah, he's got a girlfriend and a kid.

And I was like, oh, okay. How then she's like, yeah, he's got a girlfriend and a kid. And I was like, oh, okay. How long were you in a situationship with him for? A couple months. Wow. That's still a long time.

And there was never any clues or red flags? No. Wow. Not really, because I'd always go to his house

and yeah. Well, you were going to his house and where was the partner and the child? At another house? Must have been. Wow. That is crazy. that's commitment to it.

Anonymous, thank you for your call. April, good morning. Good morning, guys. I'm so glad because we get to talk to you because you have ghosted someone. I have, and I'm not that proud of it. So you were in a, would you call it a situationship? Definitely a situationship.

We were together for about 18 months on and off. We had a few issues. I met his immediate family, but when it came to extended family, he had a cousin getting married, and right before the wedding, which I was invited to, he broke up with me because he didn't want me to meet the extended family. Right. You're not ready for my second cousins.

But so you didn't ghost him. He broke up with you. No, I ghosted him. So basically, I just had enough. Yep. I packed up. I was living with my mum at the time. I packed up.

I moved to Auckland to be closer to my grandparents, changed my number, changed my Facebook, and never spoke to him again. Wow. After 18 months, but you were practically boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, we were. We had a label on it and everything. Wow.

But seriously, this girl should just run. It just doesn't sound good. It's like you went into witness protection, isn't it, April? Pretty much. I had people hitting me up, like his family, and I'm like Who's this New number

New number Who's this Oh my god Wow Okay Yeah no closure Or anything Just bye

Wow that's crazy Isn't it Alright April Thanks for calling April Vaughn Text messages Somebody said Just this

A bit of BFG chat Which I'm very happy to engage in Anya can you stop sending Vaughn Gifts of big green BFG please And pickles Trying to do a radio show here And you're interrupting Good fun over here

I was seeing a guy for 14 months It turned out he was married with two kids I had no idea He had a different name When he was dealing with me and everything But why get married and do that? Like, just break up and go and be single. Or go and find someone else if you're not happy.

Let's just remember, these were all wildly different situations. How long has this girl who messaged him been? Three months. That's very early days. Isn't it? Yeah, but you can have serious feelings for someone after three months. And then, like, she feels like their boyfriend-girlfriend. isn't it? Yeah, but you can have serious feelings to someone after three months and then like she feels like

their boyfriend, girlfriend. Yeah, but I've been waiting for the next Star Wars movie for like a year and a half, nearly two years and you don't see me

acting all crazy. What's wrong with you today? You're not in a compassionate mood at all. You didn't cry at that story. Vaughn always gets grumpy when he comes back

from holidays or a long weekend because he thinks he's entitled to never work in his life for some weird reason. No, I'm not. You always do it every time. No, it's not. or a long weekend because he thinks he's entitled to never work in his life for some weird reason. No, I'm not. You always do it.

Every time. No, it's not. After the long weekend, I'm grumpy because the cats. There's the cats. Okay, we're sleeping in the outside room and I'm an anti-pet in the room. But for some reason, every bloody animal we have, minus my adorable farm menagerie,

in this room and the cats are like, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I'm like, shut up, your cat wants to go out. She's like, I'm like, don't you pretend to be asleep. So I get up and I throw the cat out and I shut it again and sure enough meow, meow, meow.

The other one wants to come in. Oh, what a horrible place. Get up, throw that one in, shut the door. Then the dog's like, meow, horrible plight. Get up, throw that one in, shut the door. Then the dog's like... So I didn't get a lot of sleep is what I'm saying. I told you, you should have got an Airbnb and not lived in a caravan. No, no, they're just every animal's getting locked in the garage tonight.

We're not putting up with any of it. Any of it. And the children will be in the garage too. They keep sleep talking. They'll be listening in the car. Knock it on the head. Shardae will be in the garage too. They keep sleep talking. They'll be listening in the car. Knock it on the head. Shade will be in the garage too. In fact, I might go in the garage.

It'd be easier for everybody if I just slept in the garage. God, it sounds like you need to sneak off and get into a situation ship. What are you up to? You've got a spare room? I've got a spare room. Let's be in a situation ship. Fletch is way too busy. Are you?

You're too busy for me. You've got so many sleepovers happening in your house, your spare bed is full as you? You're too busy for me. You've got so many sleepovers happening in your house, your spare bed is full as well. You're unbelievable. A man your age needs to be careful.

Why? Because he might break a hip or something. That is a ticker. Fact of the day, day, day,'s floating hotel. I didn't know they had a floating hotel. On water.

They don't anymore because now it lives in North Korea. Oh, too sorry. This was a tourism venture in Australia in the late 80s. People loved the Great Barrier Reef. This was before it was bleached and ruined. Well, it was on its way, but everyone was just like, look at the fish. What did they call Nemo fish before the movie?

Clownfish. Their actual name. And the blue tan, that's Dory's real name, eh? Yeah. But the Dory and the Nemo, roll off the tongue a lot easier. People would just jazz to get out onto the Great Barrier Reef and see some of these exotic fish. So one man, he had an idea.

Doug was his name. He said, let's build a floating hotel. And so they did. They built this floating hotel, and it was to be out on the Great Barrier Reef. Immediately, can you see any problems? Well, to float away, why don't you get rough? The rough weather.

Yeah. Before the floating hotel even opened, it was hit by a cyclone. And there were actually people on there, so it hadn't opened, but it was like the staff were on there, learning to know how everything works. And a 19-year-old

called Larissa was on board it when it started sinking and flooding. She said it was pretty rough. Boatloads of guests would arrive with horrific seasickness and then you'd get on the hotel where the seasickness would not stop.

It would continue. So this saw a drop in visitor numbers, as you would imagine. Yep. How big was this floating hotel? I don't know. It said statistics of how big it was. It had 200 rooms. Jeez.

It had a nightclub, bars, tennis court, restaurant, a helipad and a tennis court. I've got a photo here I can show you. Maybe you can explain to the viewers, the listeners. Holy shit, that is not what I imagined. It's huge. It looks a little bit like a prison, eh? But it almost looks like a cruise ship.

A skinny long cruise ship has just been cut off at the end. Yeah, so it doesn't have the bows on it. Yeah. Is that what they're called? That is not what I imagined. That's humongous. Yeah, that's floating and it's anchored there. And, you know, water sports and all sorts of things.

And there's a nearby pontoon, et cetera, et cetera. So when it started going rough, you know, numbers began to drop. And it was like, oh, that's not good. We're going to have to get rid of this. North Korea said, we'll have that. We've been looking to have a floating casino. Okay. And you've done all the hard work, basically.

So it was towed to North Korea by a big ship. You'd have to choose some calm weather. To tow it? Yeah. You would certainly think so. And now that it's in North Korea, it kind of lives in dock, but it is still technically floating. Here's a photo of North Korea.

That's humongous. That is massive. It just looks like a giant hotel block. And it's the same with some cruise ships. I'm like, how's that staying upright? I know, yeah. Have you ever tried to float on something in a pool? Mm.

And you go too much one way and you flip over. Is that just concrete on the outside? It doesn't actually look very inviting, if I'm honest. No, that's why I said it's got a certain prison-esque quality to it. Like the Soviet Union. Yeah, it looks like it would go well in North Korea. So since it's building, it's travelled over 14,000 kilometres and you might be thinking, how is that possible?

Well, it wasn't built in Australia. It was built in Singapore and towed to Australia. And then when it didn't work, they towed it up to North Korea. So would they just work on just pretty easy just to stay on an actual boat? Yeah. Yeah, right. Or just go out for the day and if it's rough, don't go. Could I imagine

if that had sunk into the... With people on it. Or just sunk into the Great Barrier Reef. Ah, and it could have been like a diving attraction. Because I love how you can just dump anything in the ocean and be like, oh, it's a diving attraction now. Yeah. So we're going to sink the ship. Oh, and it could have been like a diving attraction. Because I love how you can just dump anything in the ocean and be like, oh, it's a diving attraction now. Yeah. So we're going to sink the ship.

Oh, really? It's a bit yuck. Oh, it'll be a diving attraction. Okay. I'm just going to throw my TV in the ocean then. Diving attraction. Eventually some stuff will grow on it and it will be a diving attraction.

Yeah. So today's fact of the day is Australia once had a floating hotel, but now it lives in North Korea. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat The segment of the show

We take a look at new food products and trends Because we love food And as a nation Third fattest nation in the world Nomies Big fans of nomies And you know that I love my white chocolate Yes

And Vaughan's always like, it's not actually chocolate. It doesn't have cacao. But it's chocolate. It's white. Your donuts at the weekend actually had a swirly white chocolate thing. Yeah. It was like a hard thing that stuck. How did you do that? You put a

blob down on the baking paper and you go with the spoon. And then you peel it off and you stick it in. Show that some engineering right there, eh? That's amazing. Very fancy. I saw that on a cake show. They did it with the sugary bits.

You know what I mean? It looks like a glass. And then they went, pfft, stuck on the top. Sugar glass, yeah. Sugar glass, yeah. You got it. Well, news out of Australia that Cadbury is set to release a special Christmas themed chocolate block this holiday season, and it is Dream White Christmas. What has it got in it?

Fruit mints. Now, it's rumoured to be white chocolate filled with raspberry bits, oh, rice crisps, and sliced almonds. Rice crisp is such a... It's a nutty filler. It's like your rice and noodles at the Chinese buffet. Don't bother. Get the meaty bits in there. What would you say?

Okay, you're making a Christmas white chocolate. What would you put in it? What bits? Well, definitely raspberry. I'd probably go a macadamia over an almond. Oh, bougie. Yeah, macadamia. What about little cherry bits?

I feel like cherries are like Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, almost like a black. You maybe even go like a black forest, but white chocolate. Imagine that. Reverse black forest. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that needs to happen. It's all just still a forest, Megan. I don't know if you can say reverse. Well, like opposite. Forest. Oh, white forest. White forest. Yeah, white forest.

Oh, no, it sounds a bit racist. It does, doesn't it? It does, yeah. It sounds a bit white supremacist. You know, okay, that sounds good, though. Is cost an issue? What do you mean? I was just thinking because you can't go all in with some ingredients

because it costs more because I was going to say pistachios in the mix. Yeah. But then they won't. That's a Christmassy nut. You'll get like one pistachio per block. It'll be like the Lucky Square with the pistachio in it. They won't go as hard on the pistachios because they're a more expensive nut.

What's the most Christmassy nut? We were never really a nut family at Christmas. I know lots of people get into a bowl of nuts. Scorched almonds. Your armour, your scorched almonds. That's New Zealand's favourite nut, isn't it? Chestnut. Eye-roasting on an open fire.

Yeah, but we're not cold enough to warrant the owner. Wrong time of the year, too, for a chestnut, isn't it? It's been announced in Australia, a Cadbury spokesman told Seven News, but no news on New Zealand. Let's just make our own. Melt it down. Someone said get a bit of cranberry in there with that pistachio with some white chocolate.

I feel like cranberry is really Christmassy too. Yeah, now we're talking. Okay, we'll keep an eye out because that looks like it's... Somebody said tried it. Tried it. It's average. It's disappointing, isn't it? It's disappointing when someone says that.

The worst part is when we're sitting here and we've done a better job. And let's be honest, we're all still going to buy it and try it and decide for ourselves. And some people will love it. And then there'll be a fight on the internet. Yeah. Because everything that involves an opinion in 2019 ends with a fight on the internet. It does Great news today If you're looking to escape New Zealand

Next year Or in the future Because it might just get a little bit chaper Don't say escape It's just say temporarily Temporarily Vacate Oh, holiday

Otherwise no one is holidays It's just a temporarily visit another country. Otherwise, no one is holidays. It's holidays, yes. It's something no one has. Because American Airlines is going to be flying Auckland to Dallas. They already fly Auckland to LA. Yep. And Christchurch to Los Angeles is going to be a route. That's big news because no one has even ever been in an Air New Zealand flight

that goes direct from Christchurch to LA because I've wondered why they don't do that. Because, you know, you've got the South Island, the beautiful South Island. Oh, yeah. And all the touristas that want to, you know, go to Queenstown. Go straight down there. But then, I mean, you just get to Auckland and get an hour flight. It's still going to have to get a flight to Queensland from Christchurch, aren't you? Yeah.

Or you drive from Christchurch. Yeah, you start your trip in Christchurch. Oh, yeah. I hope they're going to get some more rentals. Has anyone told Avis? I hope not. Hurts? Well, they've got a while because they're not starting until next year.

The Christchurch, reading here, the Christchurch LA Direct on American Airlines will be from October 2020. Right. Three times a week. Church LA Direct on American Airlines will be from October 2020. Right. Three times a week. Well, I don't know how rental car companies work, but that gives them enough time to go on Trade Me and winning through auctions. Get a few more Toyota Corollas. Yeah, like an early 2000s Toyota Corolla or something.

Get that on the list. And extra flights as well from Auckland to Dallas and Texas. That's great. Good for competition. Yeah. Some cheaper flights. Good for Texas. Dallas in Texas. That's great. Good for competition. Yeah. Some cheaper flights. Good for Texas. Good for Texas, yeah.

They probably won't even notice, but it's good for people from New Zealand who want to go to Texas to eat meat. I don't know what's in Texas. That's one of your dream destinations, isn't it, Texas? Yeah, the barbecue highway. But I can't imagine your wife wanting to go along while you just barbecue and eat meat for like two weeks.

Would she do that? Yeah. She loves eating. Yeah, right. We're both big fans of it. It's the major thing we've got in common. We both love eating. We very much like eating. But is that all you would do for two weeks? Just have barbecues?

Barbecue. Yeah, different spots. Yeah, right. Maybe try some other stuff as well. Good Lord. Some good sweets. Oh, I know I need to come back. Yeah, and get on the treadmill. Oh, no, I just need to have surgery.

Yeah, right. Just come back, get lap band. Yeah. Have a couple of colon cleansers. Yeah. Flush that out and away you go. You'll be happy as Larry again. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say it lives here. ZM.