ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 09 2019

Episode Date: September 8, 2019

Matty McLean is on the show following his exit from Celeb Treasure Island, Indie and August want to be a Mayor and your gesture of love.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the Hockey Roos. Hockey Roos. Is it actually what they call their... Yep. Hockey Roos. Just trying to think of a bit you couldn't really work hockey into any other animal unless it was a hawk. Hockey Hawks. The Hawky team. The Hawky.

The Australian Hawkies. Hawky team. That sounds weird as well. Yeah, and they don't like really go on too much about their hawks. No. Do they?

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Hockey Roos it is until we come up with a better option. It was creepy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you guys okay?

Great, actually. Yeah, great. Good. Did you have a big weekend or something? No. No? No, no. The slow spiral into insanity.

It's come along. Yeah. Leaps and bounds. Leaps and bounds Leaps and bounds Over the weekend Yeah Another chance for you To win a thousand bucks

Today from Nine 90 minutes of non-stop jams All thanks to Moolah We'll give you today's Bonus banger Track soon In about 15-20 minutes Yeah the top six

Is coming up in this hour Of six o'clock Yeah And we're looking at The top six hidden gems Of the Waikato Being named on a Bucket list Yeah so in this hour of six o'clock. Yeah. And we're looking at the top six hidden gems of the Waikato. Being named on a bucket list.

Yeah, so. Of a must visit. I believe it was 16 or 17. Hmm. Out of like 100 or 50 countries. Be that places like Singapore, Los Angeles. I thought you were going to say in New Zealand. No.

But you know, it's Hobbiton Everybody wants to come for It's the Hobbiton trip which is a phenomenal day trip but also the Waitomo

caves get a mention Oh yeah those are beautiful But I've got the top six other hidden gems of the Waikato as well

Alright you lot listen up it's story time Story time three news headlines All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline only. Headline one, news anchor not trying to sell you pills.

Headline two, prankster narrowly avoids jail. And headline three, 13-year-old solves cold case. Which one of those do you want? A 13-year-old solves cold case. Or headline four, bear with me. Bear with me. You're not allowed to add a headline. I'm adding a headline.

You're not allowed to add a headline. I'm adding a headline. Did you see something about a grizzly bear? Maybe, Megan. I can't tell you and you're not allowed to Google it either. No, but we talked about the bear that fell asleep in the toilet last week. No, there. I can't tell you and you're not allowed to Google it either. No, but we talked about the beer that fell... We talked about the beer that fell asleep in the toilet last week. No, there's more beer news. There's more beer news. Yeah.

Well, no, you can't just add your own headline. No, I'm adding in a story time. How's this for a twist? It doesn't work like this because... How's this for an unpredictable Monday? He's adding a fourth. It doesn't work like this because you're going to be biased to your story. Oh, no, I'm taking myself out of the running. I'm not allowed to vote anymore.

So Megan gets to pick? Yeah. Is it the beer and the Airbnb? No. Well Megan, it really could be anything. Producers, do we care about Vaughan's beer story? Is he allowed to, producer Caitlin, is he allowed to just add a story?

No, I don't reckon it's not really your segment. Why, where does it say that I'm not allowed to add a story? Well, I don't add a top one to a top six to make it a top seven. Nah, leave this one to Fletch, please. No, but every now and then, remember, Fletch and Megan all, like, try to add in a joke for a top six, but it'll be, like, number two, and I have to go, like, punch it. I was about to say that. No, that every now and then, remember, Fletch and Megan will try to add in a joke for a top six, but it'll be like number two, and I have to go like, top six. I was about to say that.

No, that never happens. Usually it's Fletch who spoils the top six by adding in something. I'm like, stop, stop. Yeah. Well, maybe stop being so predictable. But I just think if he's going to add a story, maybe it'll be really good. Maybe. That's the gamble.

Sometimes Fletch's are a bit meh. What? He's's against the gamble. Sometimes switches are a bit meh. What? I just said the weekend. Sometimes it's a slow news day, Megan. Sometimes it feels like you're just scraping them together. Of course I am. Sometimes I am scraping the news barrel. But I do like the 13 year old. What's that story? 13 year old solves cold case.

Well, you pick, Megan. Shit. Are we going with Vaughan's beer? 13 year old. Fine. That's a vote for beer. Absolutely unbelievable. A 13 year old boy with an inquisitive mind helped investigators solve a 27 year old cold case.

Just click on that story. She's got you there. You're not allowed to Google. It's against the rules. What did I answer? I mean, obviously, there are no rules today. Vaughan, if your story's terrible, then that's the last time you ever do it. Oi, I shan't be told what to do.

Okay. It's up to you. If you elect me mayor, I get to run rampant. So the kid was wearing a GoPro, dove into some water, and found a car under the lake. Oh, it was the body in the car? Yeah. Yeah, great.

It was a great story, but you're not hearing any more about that. Loose. Okay, tell us about your stupid beer. Hit us with the beer. Well, we now go to... I immediately regret because you got a stupid grin on your face. Why? That's not stupid.

We go to British Columbia to a small province called Prince George, which is weird that it's called Prince George, right? It's not called like Georgetown or something. Yeah. Named after Prince George. It's called Prince George, this small town. A man was out and about on the outskirts. A man.

Man. What did I say? A man. A man. A man. A man. A man called Brandon was out on the outskirts of town when he heard a noise behind him.

And he looked around and it was a black bear. And he was like, uh-oh, and the bear got him. Oh, okay. And it held him down and he was in a river and it was holding him under the water. It was holding him under the water to drown him. Yeah, right. And he got back up for air and he was like, please, you don't have to drown him. Yeah, right. And he got back up

for air and he was like, please, you don't have to do this. And the bear stopped. Is that what happened, Vaughn? I feel like you've really made that up. No, no, no.

He's a 27-year-old man. And then afterwards he had to get out. He said it was so weird. It happened so quickly. It was holding me down. I didn't really feel anything. I just wanted to stay alive.

I came up for air and I looked the bear in the face and screamed, please you don't have to do this. And the bear stopped. And the bear, like he said he looked into the bear's soul and the bear had a moment of like maybe I don't need to do this and let him go and walked away. And now the bear is having some existential crisis. And then his dog came running

in and like when the bear had already stopped and barked and the bear left. And he was like, where have you been? To the dog. And the dog's like, what'd I miss? I just looked into the soul of a bear. Didn't need to drown me. And it stopped. Anyway, he walked home. He's got a few scratches

and bruises and bumps and everything. He's recovering at home. Okay, well, that was a pretty good story. From his ordeal. That's a pretty good story. I just loved it. Please! You don't have to do this!

We should all try bargaining with animals more. It will never work. Purely a coincidence. But he thinks he had a soul-to-soul moment with a bear. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. There is a new survey

that has been revealed. I don't know why people look into these sorts of things, but they've studied a thousand people. They were asked about their job. Yeah.

Because there is something that people do that says you're more likely to be a manager. There's a trait. Okay. There's a trend, shall I say, out of these thousand people that they're doing something that makes them more likely to be a manager.

So Ross Boss would do this? Yeah. Producer Caitlin, are you able to get Ross Boss on the phone? Yeah, I actually just called him and went straight to answer phone. Unbelievable. Yeah. Well, it is quite early. I'd love to hear his thoughts on this.

Well, I don't know what it is, but maybe he's doing it and that's why he can't answer the phone. Maybe that's why it went straight to answer phone. Should I double call so then it looks like an emergency so then he panics and wakes up? Yeah.

You can try, yeah. Yeah, okay. Hit it again. Okay, sure. So this survey has found that people who, I can't say that often, what's that R word?

Regularly. Regularly. Regularly. Regularly. Regularly. Masturbate. More likely to be managers. Oh, he probably is doing it then.

My goodness me. Producer Kaylin, has that gone through? Yeah, it's ringing. He's trying to use his phone to do it, so he can't answer the call. What do you mean? Well, he's watching something. Oh, yeah, and you're probably interested. It's 20 past six in the morning.

Yeah, well, he's got to come to work soon. A pre-work. Oh, my God. Wait, so this is an actual study? Yeah, so they did a study on over 1,000 people. They were asked about their... Habits. Habits, as well as their job.

And it revealed that people who do that at least once a week are more likely to excel in every way. Once a week? I was waiting for that. Those are rookie numbers. You need to pump that up. Once a week. But they're for that. Those are rookie numbers. You need to pump that up. Once a week. But they're more likely to be in management positions.

Yeah, but why? That's not true. Because why is Vaughn like? Yeah, you'd be like, you'd be CEO. I'd be running the place. I'd be the Fuhrer. Like of the entire world. I'd be like, you're in charge now.

I'd be like, thank you. Now I don't know how I'm going to squeeze in running the world because I've got a very full schedule of playing entire world. I'd be like, you're in charge now. I'd be like, thank you. Now I don't know how I'm going to squeeze in running the world because I've got a very full schedule of playing with myself. I also found that regular, regular, regular, regular, regular, regular, regular, regular, regular, masturbators were 8% more likely to ask for a raise. Plucky. What? Plucky. What?

Plucky. They're plucky. Oh, okay. What does plucky mean? Well, I was going to say ballsy, but it didn't seem like an appropriate... It didn't seem like an appropriate word to use in this time. Wow.

So if you're struggling to move up the corporate ladder, I think I've got the answer for you. Yeah, so they've come to the conclusion that it helps your self-confidence. Morning, noon and night. Just like brushing your teeth. No. Oh, my God.

Well, do you want to be a manager or not? Do you want to pay a raise or not? Is that what I have to do, is it? Yeah, get it done. Schedule a one o'clock journey. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. They wake up their police from a operation. We say operation, but it sounds like a very low-end operation,

not like a big undercover situation where they're tapping phones, etc. They just sat somebody on an overbridge with binoculars and warned police who were further down the road of what these people were up to behind the wheel. Okay, so they could pull them over. They caught 68 people on their phones while behind the wheel. Okay, so they could pull them over. They caught 68 people on their phones while behind the wheel and plenty of others eating food.

So they would roger ahead and say that car's the person's on their phone because they said people now text, they don't hold the phone up because they're like, I'm going to get seen. So they hold it below the window line. But that also means your eyes have to go down to it.

Yeah. They did the maths on it. Well, that's their fault. They've made it more dangerous for us to sneak a text. Otherwise, you could have it up by the steering wheel and I could see the road and the phone at the same time. Exactly. That's their fault.

I think we should have a keyboard on our steering wheel so we can keep watching the road. It's projected onto the windscreen and we're like, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. But still focused on the things through the screen as well. But travelling at 80 kilometres an hour, and they said the average person takes their eyes off the road for four seconds at a time. That's not good, yeah. It's scary to send a text. Yeah.

You travel 100 metres. So you travel 100 metres without seeing. Four seconds is actually quite long. That's like one. I don't think I would take my, if I was sending a sneaky text, there's no way I'd be off the road for four seconds. No. No way. Well, maybe this

was the woman that uses an example. There was a 68-year-old caught. Okay. She was on her way to a vape store and then going to the gym. I don't know what these details have to do with anything. In that order? Yes. But she was caught texting her friends. So you used to think 68, like that's older than my dad,

and he takes a while to get a text. They need to use two thumbs though, don't they? Yeah. Or one finger. No, index fingers. Get in on their index fingers. So yeah, they had a four-day-long sting to catch people. Another person, they wrote a ticket for somebody.

If you were eating, they just gave you a little bit of a warning on why it's dangerous. If you had hot food, if that drops in your lap, of course, then you're like, yeah. And then you can crash. But one person, they did give a ticket to for eating. They had a burger in each hand and they were staring with their knees. A burger in each hand? Could they not decide which burger they wanted to eat? Well, they go, bite, bite.

They're like, what am I going to eat? The Whopper or the chicken? They went to two drive-thru's. I have to go for a bite. Right. Surely you'd eat one and then have the other one

there ready to go. Yeah, afterwards. No, apparently not. They're going bite for bite. But they were driving with their knees so that got them a ticket because that is obviously dangerous.

No hands on the wheel, et cetera. So, yeah, they saw a range of things, and they just went, this is the big thing at the moment. The police are cracking down on distracted drivers. Right. So you've been warned. Well, you've been warned. Yeah.

You're definitely the worst out of all of us. I won't stand here and have those aspersions cast towards me. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is a rise, according to teachers, a rise around the country of students unable to tell the time in an old-fashioned way. You don't need to. Analog clocks.

You don't need to. And again, I'm comparing it to Megan who... Can't tell the time. With an analog clock. And then you get those stupid clocks that have got like only four numbers on them. Or some that have got no numbers and hands. You're like... But you know it's 12, 3, 6, 9.

Yeah, but what about the ones in between? I don't know. That's just an absolute trap and not encouraging me to learn. Megan. And you don't need to. This is a really easy one. What time is that on an analogue clock? Oh, sorry.

Why is that easy? Oh, my God, Megan, that is so easy. There's a hand on a two and a hand on a ten. What's the big hand on? So it's 10 something. 10 is the small hand, so that's like what the hour is. 10, something 10. You're not cutting, eh?

No, if I sit here, I can work it out. So the small hand is like the big number. This is how I tell myself. I'm in a very uncomfortable position. It's cutting up circulation in my thumb. This is how I do it. So the small hand is the big number. position. It's cutting off circulation in my thumb. This is how I do it. So the small hand is the big number. That means it's in the 10 o'clock hour.

So it's 10. And then the little hand. It's 10 something. Where's the big hand? It's on the what? Is the blue one the second hand? No, the blue one's the second. The blue one's not doing anything.

The blue one's been sitting still the entire time. Well, they're all sitting still. Okay, so where's the big hand on? What number? It's on the two. So each of those is five, right? So that's 10. Correct on? What number? It's on the two. So each of those is five, right? So that's 10. 10.

10. Correct. Yeah. Thank you. See, I can work it out. But you couldn't look at that and instantly say. No. No way.

Gun to someone's head. Gun to your head. No. You would still need that long to work that out. Because I panic when I'm wearing my watch. Because I have a watch because it's cute. We've got another one for you. No, hang on, hang on. So

someone's like, what's the time? And I just show them my watch because I panic when they're waiting for me to figure it out. Okay, go. The orange hand. Hang on, hang on, I'm panicking. The small hand is almost on the two, so does that, I never

know, does that mean it's two or one? What does that mean? Well, it's not quite two yet, is it? Well, it's not at two, so that means it's before two. So it's one. Yes. And then that one is, that's 30. The big hand is on the seven.

35. One, 35. You did it. With assistance. Do one more. I'm getting good. Do one that's not on the big one. Do one that's halfway between, like on a 7 or an 8 or a 3 or a...

No, but this is a minute. You're saying the minute clock needs to be right, not on one of the five-minute markers. I don't care that you find this funny, because I've got to this age without knowing how to do it because right in front of me teachers are saying where I'm sitting, I've got a phone, I've got my

laptop and I've got the clock up on the screen. Three digital clocks. You're never anywhere where you need to read it. Where it's absolutely necessary. What about if you're in a town square and there's an oldie time clock and you need to know if you're late for a meeting. Someone's like, there's going to be a shootout at 11.18

and we've got to be out of here. And you look up at the clock and you're like, okay, so that's on 11. So we're at some time in the 11 hour. Oh, yeah, you'd have your phone. But not if you were back in the oldie days. No. Right, okay, you'd have your phone. But not if you were back in the oldie days. No. Right, okay. Let's do one more here.

Big hand is... Big hand's on the four. That's the little hand. I mean the little hand's on the four. So what does that mean? It's four something. Something four. Yeah.

And then what does the other hand tell you? The other hand is like between 10 and 11. So... Four. Yep. What does the other hand tell you? The other hand is like between 10 and 11. So, 4. Yep. 35, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50. It's like 52. 452.

Yep. 453. No, it's 353. It was almost at 4, so you assumed it was four. But if it was 4.54, it would be closer to the five. And you'd be late for a meeting. Don't. I just use my phone.

Or early. You would have been early for a meeting. I'm sweaty now. Honestly, I panic every time. Time-telling anxiety issues. Yeah. It's okay. Well, you're not the only one.

The whole, apparently, according to teachers, the next generation. And I had one of those watches that had like a red side and a blue side and red was to and blue was from or something and then the big hand had written on it. What's the big hand? Hours or minutes? The long hand.

It's minutes. I don't know. It's all too much It's a lot I could drive a car I can drive a car And I've got a job But until someone says Put your hands at ten and two

And you're like Grab a double six What happened to your drivers? No there's a diagram In the road code So you just follow the diagram Thank god there's pictures eh Yeah

And you know where the ten And the two are right You just don't know how they tell a time. Yeah, and then there's hands involved and it all gets too much. All right, top six is next. What's the time, Megan? 6.46, 35, 36. Only because of that digital clock.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. A travel bucket list website has listed the Waikato region of New Zealand, their 16th most popular bucket list to do before you die. Pretty big deal because Forbes publicised this. You know, Forbes that do all the rich lists and stuff. Yeah, so they know. They know. They get it.

They get it. They get it. A lot of the kudos is being placed at the feet of the Hobbiton movie set tour, which is phenomenal. I still haven't done that. Wonderful. We simply must. We simply must.

Now, I think spring would be a phenomenal time to go because when we went, it was autumn and winter. But apparently in spring you get all the wildflowers. Oh, lovely. You get all the actual veggie gardens that they grow in there. Right. And the green grass of the hills there, just outside Matamata.

How much is it? Don't know. Do you get like a cheap local, you know? Well, Nan gets to go once a year for free. Does she? Because she lives just over the way. Well, can we use Nan's pass? Because I know we'll pick up Marlene on the way.

Okay. We'll say we all live in her house because she's just got to take proof of address. Oh, really? We'll say we're her flatmates. Okay, great. And then we can scooch in and have a drink down the Green Dragon.

Because I want a local's price. I don't want a... Tourist price. Yeah, because I mean, I want to go, but I don't want to go that bad. Hence why I haven't gone yet. And the Waitomo Caves, another one, a beautiful natural cave system.

When you say Waikato, I immediately thought Hamilton. Well, that's the business hub. But they're like dining out on everything else around the Waikato. Well, that's why it's called a region, Megan. Yeah, right. It needs an economic hub, but everybody plays a very important part. Yeah, right. So I've got the top six.

Being a proud Waikato lad, I've got the top six other hidden gems of the Waikato region. Number six. Now, if you're on your way out to the West Coast, raggle in there. Beautiful beach. Dangerous, though. Be very careful. As most West Coast beaches are. Just on the deviation, that's what it's called there, the divvy, as the locals call it, on the way up from Hamilton

side, you come across a rest area. Now, pull in there and there's a gang of crazy ass chickens and roosters who like, they're across a rest area. Now pull in there and there's a gang of crazy ass chickens and roosters who, like they're mad, mad birds, like feral chickens and roosters there that will fight each other. Really? Yeah. Okay.

For bread. Right. Or any sort of starchy carbs. Yeah, I don't know. They'll go bananas. Chickens eating bananas? No, I said they'll go bananas. Oh.

But I wouldn't put it past these... They're stuck in their beaks. I wouldn't put it past these locos les polos. Yeah. To go at it over a banana. Yeah, I don't know if a tour bus of tourists are going to stop for a... It's a perfect size for a tour bus. Is it?

Okay. Yeah. The chickens could even, like, hold a bus to my side. Right, okay. The rooster could drive it away. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six hidden gems of the Waikato are Hamilton's Lake, Rotorua.

It's a lake there in the middle of Hamilton. I just googled the location of it and it confirmed that it was Rotorua, not Rotorua. And one of the questions that popped up says, can you swim in Hamilton Lake? And it said, over the past few years, potentially

toxic algae have become established in the water. I it said over the past few years potentially toxic algae have become established in the water. I would have said the duck shit and the gooses and the swans and the mad sparrows would have done it before that. And then beside that it said upcoming events at the lake are under 14 sailing. So that's good to know that they're sailing in

potentially hazardous water that you should not drink, cook with or swim in. Don't fall in. Great way of staying in. Yeah. Great, great way of staying in your boat. Number four on the list of the top six hidden gems of the Waikato region, the Horoto Meatworks. Now, the new expressway cuts out the meatworks. You used to have to go through Ngaruahia and come in.

Yeah. But they've cut that out now, which is unfortunate. But if you want to drive by and drop your guts under the pretense that it must be the meatworks, take the long way. Yeah. Take the long way. We've all said that in the car. Oh, it must be the meatworks or that stock truck.

Or the tannery. Oh, we haven't passed a meatworks or a stock truck. Yeah, we did. Just back there. You guys just didn't see it. It was definitely there. Number three on the list, it's another factory, but this one's a defunct factory, the Matangi Dairy Factory.

Okay. It was New Zealand's largest meth lab there for a while. It was an abandoned dairy factory. It makes a wonderful meth lab, apparently. But also, it's coming good. It's going to be a toy factory for those Zuru folk. Oh, nice. Okay.

Because they're from the area. Right. And they're like multi-bajillionaires now. Yeah. And if, rumour has it, if you are quiet for long enough and martingale about 15, 20 minutes,

someone will be like, I remember those boys when they were just young. Number two on the list of the top six hidden gems of the Waikato, the Kaimai water spring up the top of the Kaimais.

Oh, yeah. I hear someone saying, Vaughan, that's the Bay of Plenty. Well, it's not, sucker. I just looked on the map and it's actually a few hundred meters

on the Waikato side. So we'll take that. We'll take your fresh water. Claim it. And also, way better views on the Waikato side of the Kaimais than the other side. There's no real viewpoint. Really? Okay.

Well, it's because the Waikato's so beautiful to look across. And number one on the list of the top six hidden gems of the Waikato, this should come as no surprise, it's Morrinsville's cows. If you're heading anywhere, make sure you go through Morrinsville and have a look at our hard case cows. I think we've got like 45 now. There might even be more. There might be 47.

We're edging towards a half century of cows. Waste of money. Five-a-glass, life-size cows. It's bizarre to witness. One of them's got a helicopter blade on its back. Because why not? The RSA one's got a gun mounted on it. Oh my God.

That's some good stuff. You can get a map from the information centre. Take your time. Enjoy beautiful picturesque Morrisville. And yeah, there's cows. Get a bun from the bakery and an ice cream from the wagon wheel and you'll be absolutely sorted. That is today's top six.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, September 8th. September. Sorry. Colin, you just caught yourself. Yeah, whoa. It's International Literacy Day was yesterday. Okay.

So off the back of that. This is where we celebrate that disease where your bits start dropping off, right? No. Isolate you? Leprosy? Yeah, I think so. No, leprosy is the one where you read.

Look, I'd know if I read more, but I obviously don't. So yeah, off the back of that, it has been brought to our attention that, and this is an estimate, more than 440,000 Kiwis, that's adults, are not reading books. What constitutes not reading books? Well, not reading a book. Sit down and read a book in the past year. Wow.

What are they, blaming Netflix? Yep. So the rise of streaming services, In the past year. Wow. What are they blaming like Netflix or? Yep. So the rise of streaming services. I guess people claiming that they're time poor. People claiming that they're time poor. You just made it sound like you've got a real problem with people saying they're time poor. Well, yeah.

Because like, I don't know. Well, I would be one of those people that's like, I just don't have time to read a book. Right. But you don't have to read it all in one night, do you? You've had enough time to watch how many shows on Netflix in the past year. I know, but also how many of those shows have I fallen asleep through? Yeah, true. And I don't want to get a donk in the face from a book.

That's the thing about a book. If I lie down on a couch to read a book, last time I tried to read a book, I fell asleep. Okay. Same. We can only read on holiday, last time I tried to read a book, I fell asleep. Okay. Same. We can only read on holiday, but then the holiday we just went on, the place we stayed had Netflix,

so we just watched that instead. I know, right? So I started, I am halfway through a book this year. So in summer, like in January, I started a book and I haven't finished it yet. You won't remember what's happened. It's about, it's a fiction. They're sending criminals to Mars to create a place for humans to live. Didn't you talk about that book last year?

No, no, no. The start of this year. No. And I have not finished it. We made jokes about it. It's like a modern day story of Australia. Remember? Yeah, but wasn't it last year?

Or was it actually the start of this year? No, it was the start of this year. Are you sure? Yeah. When did you get the book? Why are you it was the start of this year. Are you sure? Yeah. When did you get the book? Why are you giving her the eighth degree on when she got her book? No, I know that it was the start of this year because the moment I stopped reading it was the moment I decided to open a freaking cafe.

Oh, right. Okay, so you're like, if they can go to Mars to colonise it, I sure as hell can open a cafe. I don't know how this ends, but technically I've read... Do you have to have finished the book? This is what happens when you read. You go and do things like open cafes. I'm more into reading. But it's good for us, right?

It's good for our literacy. But you have been reading, I guess. Well, you were reading. Yeah. I don't know if I have done a book this year. I was like, I'm going to read 10 books this year. How's that going? And I've read half.

Half. Got nine and a half to go. Don't give up. I reckon this number's way higher than nearly half a million New Zealanders. But a year's a long time. Surely everybody reads a book at some stage in a year. Do you count instruction manuals? No.

Oh, okay. It can be. Then I haven't. The last book I read was that one about the Golden State Killer. That was at the end of last year, I think. Right. Was it? But it's within 12 months. So you've read one about the Golden State Killer. That was at the end of last year, I think. Right. Was it? But it's within 12 months.

So you've read one. I've read one, yeah. So you were going to straighten yourself off, but I'm sure most people would have read a book within a year. Does my half of one count?

Half a book? Well, technically, you did read, I mean, maybe. Well, you've read a book, just not all of it. I'm bad because I've got a Kindle.

If I see a review or a book online, like a review or someone talking about something, I'm like, oh, download that and I'll read it. So I'm like, download it and never read it. I've still got five or six on my Kindle that I haven't read and I'm just like, oh. I've got so many books I plan to read one day. God. It's just like, yeah, as soon as you read it, then your eyes get heavy and you're like, oof, out.

I was going to say, I know I've read a book personally, but then does it count like I read books with the kids? No. But it's not just like, where's Spot? He's under the flat. He's always under the flat, by the way. If you're struggling to find him. If you're struggling to find him,

it took me a few pages to work it out, but he's always under the flat. Yeah, they should print a few where he's not under any of the flaps. Just a mess with kids. Does a comic count? I've read heaps of those. Nah, that's not a book. Because I've got that Marvel Unlimited thing on my iPad.

If you're a comic reader, for like $9 a month, you just get access to any comics that Marvel's ever done. Yeah. And they've got like Star Wars comics and stuff as well. For $9 a month, I could buy like cupcakes or donuts. You'd only get one and a half, two donuts tops. Still be more exciting than that. Than comics.

Oh, yeah. I mean, what are comics now? They've only like been responsible for the biggest movies. Yeah, wait for the movie. Exactly. I'll wait for the movies. We'll be waiting forever. I'm taking Spider-Man out of the MCU.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, off the back of this, 440,000 New Zealanders, I think it's more than that. So I would love to know, do a little test, test of the nation this morning. Because either my dad

would have read a book within the last year. You don't think he would have? No, he would have. Oh, you think he would have? He likes the Tom Clancy's. Oh, does he? Okay.

Loves his action. It's a real parent one. Okay, so what do you want to do for your test? So, I'd love to know if you've read a book in the past year and what it was. I reckon we hear from those people that haven't read a book four years. Okay. Like for how long has it been since you've read a book?

When was the last book you read? What was it? And maybe it was when you were at school or at uni. When was the last book you read then? So somebody said I've just looked in my app on my phone, so it must be like a Kindle app on their phone. They've read 50 books this year on their phone. Have they even seen...

They must have public transport or... What kind of books? How big are they? How big is the writing? Can you imagine at home how horrible it would be reading a book on your phone? Yeah. You'd want an iPad at least, wouldn't you? At least if the Kindles have the better lighting.

Yeah, yeah. The better screens. That's impressive. But yeah, I reckon we go the other way here from those people that haven't read a book in ages. How long ago was it? And what was the last book that you read? If you can even remember. And we're not including manuals.

They don't count. We've established they don't count. Manuals don't count. And you're not including comicss. They don't count. We've established they don't count. Manuals don't count. And you're not including comics. And not including comics. What about graphic novels? No. Comics pushed together.

It's got to be a book. And yeah, bonus points if it was ages ago. 0800 DALES. It's at M9696. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Yesterday was National Literacy Day. International Literacy Day.

Oh, international, okay. They have figured out that, well, they are estimating 440,000 Kiwi adults do not read books. Haven't read a book in the past year. So we wanted to test the nation and find out when you last read a book. How long ago was it? Yeah, and if you remember what it was. And maybe you were forced to do this at school. Yeah. Lots of guys actually calling Yeah. And if you remember what it was. And maybe you were forced to do this at school. Yeah.

Lots of guys actually calling in. What are you saying? No, nothing. It was just an observation. It was just an observation. An English teacher's text messaged in. Yeah. And I'm glad to see nearly 20 years after I left school,

I'm still giving English teachers the shits because they're not happy. Right. Super busy. And I still manage a book a week minimum. I book a day in the holidays with three kids who are obviously out like lighting things on fire. Because they're obviously

one of those real fast readers. You know? Megan's like Megan follows her finger across the words. No, I have to read the same thing like five times because my mind wanders. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh no, how many pages did I stop paying attention? I know, you read three pages, you're like, I didn't get any of that. I paying attention? I know, you read three pages and you're like,

I didn't get any of that. I was thinking about things. How far back do I have to go? Also, this English teacher said reading anything counts. Comics count. Kids books count.

Anything. Okay. We just need to be reading. Jacob, what was the last book that you read? I think it was Jack Reacher. Jack Reacher.

See, you don't need to. There's a movie. There's an Amazon series. No, and that was like six years ago. Like, you don't need to. There's a movie. There's an Amazon series. No, and that was like six years ago. You don't need to. It's just not something that we do these days. You've got a lot of other entertaining things now.

So you'd rather wait for the new Jack Reacher on Netflix? Oh, yeah, yeah. You'd rather watch Netflix and read? Yeah, 100%. I feel you. How many books do you reckon you've read in your life? That's probably the only one, except for the ones that you get forced to read at school.

Brilliant. Jacob, thanks for your call. Dave, when was the last book and what was it? The last book was about six years ago and it was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. You're having some trouble, were you? Isn't that a classic? It was a good one.

It was from the wife. It was a self-help book, and surprisingly enough, it did help. Did it? I haven't read since. Right. You haven't read since? Come on, you. No.

Fair enough. Thanks, Dave. Tash, good morning. Morning. Here we go, Megan. You said it was just guys. Thanks, Dave. Tash, good morning. Morning. Here we go, Megan. You said it was just guys. Yeah, okay. I take it back.

Tash, what was the last book you read? Twilight, Breaking Dawn. No, no wonder you stopped reading. Literally. Oh, yeah. How long ago was that? I don't know. Probably like 10 years ago, whenever it came out. I had that book, but I never. Probably like 10 years ago whenever it came out.

I had that book, but I never got around to reading it before the movie came out. Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of my thing. It took me like two years to read the last one, and I kind of just gave up. Did the books have pictures of Taylor Norton without a shirt on? No. Yeah, not as good. Yeah, not as good.

Tash, thanks for your call. Some text messages. I tried to race my niece to encourage her to read the first one to finish the first Harry Potter. Okay. She won $50 from me. She was 12. She finished it in about two weeks.

It's been five years. I still haven't finished it. The last book I read was Shawshank Redemption 22 years ago. When you read perfection, you don't need to carry on. That's a big Shawshank fan. They probably watch it every time it's on TV too. That's every few months, isn't it? I haven't read a book since school.

I'm 31 now. But I download an audio book every now and then. If someone's like, oh, this book's a must read, I'm like, sounds like a must listen to me. I always forget that you can do audio books. That seems like cheating. Like a podcast kind of thing. But you get people like Stephen Fry with those amazing voices that read the books.

He can read Harry Potter better than I ever could. He probably knew that she was called Hermione from the get-go. Oh, you were called, what did you call her? Hermoine. Hermoine, yeah. That's the other problem when you read books. You don't know how to say people's names. That's why you need the movie.

The last book I read was Tomorrow When the War Began in high school. Oh, yeah. I'm 35 now. I still read bedtime stories to my kids. I haven't read a book since I was studying in 2009. I've read magazines and articles, but not a book. But this has really made me think I need to read a book. See, that's the thing.

I read a lot of Facebook, like... Posts. Posts. Does that count? No. Not my actual news articles. We read articles. I'll put my foot down about Facebook articles.

They're not, no. Because they're not good for you. Yeah, no, that's true. And even though they're lies and fiction, they're not in the non-fiction, they're not in the fiction section, so you just don't know. Yeah. You know? And the next thing you know, you're an anti-vaxxer.

Or someone who's scared of 5G. On 31, the last book I read was called Hatchet. We had to read it in high school. I will definitely get around to finishing it one day. I didn't even finish it. My husband just said the last book he read was one he was forced to read when they read Animal Farm at high school. Oh, my God.

It's a George Orwell classic. Wow. Is it George Orwell that did Animal Farm? Yes. It's kind of like the animals, the pigs are like communists or something.

It was, I don't know, it was a long time ago. Yeah. I just remember they put the horse down. Spoiler alert, the horse doesn't make it to the end of the book.

Oh my God. Quite an upsetting read. I try to read a novel every week but I'm also addicted to Netflix so I have given up on friends.

So there you go. You've got two things, just not one of them being friends. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Wouldn't be a day go by lately that we don't get some sort of measles story and then there's an anti-vaxxer story and then there's the pro-anti-vaxxer. Wait a minute, that cancels each other out, the people who don't like to be vaccinated coming in and saying, no, there was this study once and everyone's like,

that's been just proven. It's a horrible place, the online comments at the moment, Vaughan. Yeah, well, it's spread into the pet anti-vaxxer situation again. Right. And apparently, again, there's some pet anti-vaxxers that say uh that vaccines for pets that you have to get done yeah also cause autism in pets uh even though people are like well that's a hard proof yeah there's no there's actually no actual evidence at all um about this uh so 10 of people say they just never got round to it

because their animals never socialise with other animals. So that's like when you've got a dog and you go away and you take it to like a kennelry or a boarding place. It has to be vaccinated because obviously if it comes in with a disease, it spreads throughout the rest of the animals. Like whenever we go on holiday or whatever and take our dog to a boarding place, you have to take in their little book.

It says they had their boosters up their old schnoz. Yep. Parvo is one of them. Yep. Yeah. So, they're saying, not only are they not gonna vaccinate their dog against things that could kill it, they're also not

going to socialise a pet animal. So 16% of people said that they did not think vaccines were necessary. Other people said they never got round to it and they'd never been reminded to because they don't take their pets to places like, I imagine they still socialise them, like taking them for walks

and stuff, but they just don't go anywhere where it's a necessary thing to have done so they don't get it done. To save money. Yeah, it's more of a money-saving trick than it is a purely anti-vaccination stance. But some of them are anti-vax for pets. Yes.

It's in there as well. Vets are stoked as you can imagine. They're just pleased to... Not only could it kill them though, like these things are just horrible to watch your pet go through for the sake of a jab. Like, I don't understand anyone that would have a pet.

I mean, the same could be said for measles, Megan. It's quite horrible to watch your child suffer. But then I read this thing last week. This one was like, I decided not to get vaccinated and I watched them

as my child's body fought the virus and they were in pain and everything, but they've come out the other side. I was like, well, that could have all been avoided too. Yeah. And they also could have died. Yeah, exactly. And given it to God knows who in the meantime,

we're quite pro here at the show. I'm just baffled, you know. It's just baffling. Oh, humans are a confusing bunch, Megan. Yeah. We're not long for this world. We're actually not. We've got all for this world. We're actually not. We've got all the bases covered.

We're ruining the earth. We're ruining ourselves. We're ruining scientific advancement. Well, I'm having a good time in the meantime. Oh, me too. Me too? Uh-oh. I've caught it.

This is what happens when you get immunised. Yeah. I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to Spark for sponsoring the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast. If you had a really bad weekend, I can probably guarantee it's not as bad as this guy's weekend. And if you've got males around, you just watch how they react to this.

Young tradie. What are you doing this for? It's amusing. I don't know why. Actually, I don't know why it's so amusing to someone else's misfortune, but it really is quite amusing. So anyway, this tradie in Australia, he was working on Friday at a work site on Sydney's North Shore

and it's unknown how this happened, but he was using a belt sander. What's a belt sander? A belt sander. Oh, you've got one of these. I've got one of these. Is it a sandpaper on a belt? Yeah, and it's a loop and it spins it round.

So your orbital sander just kind of goes, but the belt sander is like this big spinning belt. Did you because you borrowed my sander is that a belt sander? No.

That's like a is it an orbital sander? Does that mean it goes round? No. It kind of vibrates. So you've got a sander now is it better than mine? Yeah.

Oh I can't have that. I mean I don't Are you two just going to always compete on like appliances and stuff? No I don't know. Appl you two just going to always compete? Like appliances and stuff? No, I don't need it. Appliances, yes. Televisions, yes.

But not sanders. You can have my sander because I'm going to upgrade. What if I want a sander? You don't need a sander. Well, you've not at all. How do you know? You've not even raised your voice about anything sander related. Well, I just felt like you just were like, he's a boy.

He wanted to have a sander no it wasn't it was that just don't make this this was just because he said he wanted to be a sander he's not just sanding in his apartment because i had a hole in the wall so i needed to put um stuff in it and make it all little sander that's a good sander for a hole where you fill it and do that yeah yeah you the sander could be overkill that could be. This sander could be overkill. Nah, it can never be overkill. Well, what's happened to this guy in Sydney? Could I sand off my gels with the belt sander? No, Megan, that would, no, you would take a finger off as well.

Oh, really? Okay. So, this guy, he's 18. He was using a belt sander at his workplace. He's a tradie? He's a tradie. Yeah. And somehow he got his trousers and his genitals caught in the belt sander.

Vaughn, as someone that owns a belt sander, how could you do that? This is how I imagine it's going, is that he's sanding something at about genital height. Yep. And because it's spinning around, but then the belt's supposed to be tight. So it doesn't slip. Right. So I'm imagining the trousers must have got between the spinny bit and the belt,

and so it pulled it in, and when it pulled it in, it just pulled in genitals with it. What day was this? Friday. He would have ruined his Friday undies, the tradie Friday. You know the undies that has the days of the week at the top of them? Yeah, if you're a tradie, you got it, don't you? Yeah, yeah.

Bloody hard case, that one. So there was fire and rescue crews and two ambulances. They were all called to the scene, but... There's a lot of people seeing your balls that don't need to see your balls. No, do you know why I know they didn't see his balls? Why? Because they had to take the machine and him to the hospital to remove the machine. It was stuck.

Oh, no. They had to, like, yeah. So the machine went, the belt sander went with him to the hospital. You can imagine, like, hair, like, long hair could get really tight and they spin around, but. Yeah. Pubes, out of control pubes. No, no, no, it's just a bit chunkier, you know.

Oh, yeah. Like, I don't know. Ooh. He's okay, but he's got tears and. And a very smooth scrotum I would have had some tears as well He was using 240 bit sandpaper when he did it So just

Beautiful finish Beautiful Get a little lacquer on there Yeah Maybe just oil it You get a lovely finish on that ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Joining us in studioughan and Megan, the podcast.

Joining us in studio, special guest and friend of the show, Maddie McLean, who was eliminated from Celebrity Treasure Island last night. Hi. Hi, team. Hi. You do not need to prove yourself. To anyone? To anyone, not to us.

Not to Barbara Kendall. Especially not to Barbara Kendall. Not to Sam Wallace. Not to Gary Kendall. Especially not to Barbara Kendall. Not to Sam Wallace. Not to Gary bloody Freeman. Or bloody Gary Freeman. Who are we most angry at? Barbs. Really?

Yeah. Bloody Barbs. Barbs is a phenomenal woman and has obviously had some real accomplishments in her lifetime. But I do feel like she railroaded my game out there. Right. But you were like a competitor

in windsurfing and you were stealing her air. Totally. And God wasn't I intense. I honestly don't know that I smiled the entire time. It was a different side of you because I like lighthearted daddy. I know. And usually I'm so upbeat and fun and lovable.

This show and this kind of thing is totally your jam. It's my dream. I'm genuinely on it. So 97 was the first Treasure Island season. And I was obsessed from then. I have watched every single season of Survivor. This has honestly been a dream come true to be on a show like this.

So I took it very seriously. And it's not that you wanted special treatment. It's more the fact that, and like having watched so many shows, you know that it's not purely based on strength. Yeah. Which I feel like is what you were trying to get across the whole time.

Yeah, for a couple of reasons. One, because I actually think I was reasonably tough and strong out there. Like, I felt like I really dominated in a lot of the challenges. I beat Zach Guilford in the first elimination battle. Yeah, hello. And I was just, like, constantly beating my head against the wall trying to prove to these people that I was, like, strong enough and they just never seemed to value my strength in the game.

But also, ultimately, it's actually so little to do with how physically buff and strong you are. So much of it is a mental game. And so many of the times we lost challenges or people went home was because of things far beyond physical strength. Yeah. But I just could not get that across

and it was driving me insane. Tell us about the Gary Freeman moment. So we, the cliffhanger was, we all thought he was going to give you the mercy card. So he calls your name and then we get left only to find out that... He was giving me my hat back. The producers must have been like pigs in a trough when that happened.

My hat back? My manky hat that I've been wearing for, I was like, I don't want the hat. Keep the bloody hat. Could you have said, and the other thing? Honestly, my mind kind of went blank at that moment because the deal was you had to, we knew that for the mercy card to be used,

you had to say goodbye to your team, but it had to be used before your feet hit the bridge. So I'd said goodbye, was walking towards the bridge, and he called my name, which to me is. The man with the mercy card calls your name. It's like, this is happening. And also it just honestly, from a game point of view, I feel like I can objectively look at it

and just feel like it was a really terrible move because we were five apiece, right? So Kahu had five members, we had five members, and then I lost that elimination battle. So if I went home, they're all of a sudden down a team member. They're four against the other team's five. So why, if you have the opportunity to keep your team strong, would you give up that opportunity?

It just makes no sense to me. And then I'm like, am I going crazy? Like, actually, am I going, am I, so please help me. Am I going crazy? No. Um, a little bit. A little bit. A little bit.

It's a little bit, and I'll be honest with you because we've known each other for a long time. It's a bit intense. I have lost my goddamn mind though. But then that's my thing is, like, if you, as you said, you've been really into this for like 22 years. Yeah. And you finally got to do it. It makes me think everything I've wanted to do since I was a kid,

maybe I shouldn't. I would say don't do it. Yeah, it's like when people say, oh, you meet your heroes, and it's a disappointment. Yeah, absolutely. No, maybe I shouldn't. I would say don't do it. Yeah, it's like when people say, oh, you meet your heroes and it's a disappointment. Yeah, absolutely. No, can I say, I'll take the intense cloak off for a second. This was honestly the experience of a lifetime

and I loved, loved, loved it. But man, I do wish that I was still there. Can I ask one last question about the island? Yes. You can keep two people on there and you can eliminate two. Who would you keep and who would you kick off? I'd keep... I just want to know who you don't like.

I think I've made that abundantly clear. Sam Wallace and Barbara Kendall. Is that your two? I'd kick Sam off. I do like Sam and I appreciate his gameplay, but I'd get rid of him because he's a threat. And Barb's is just a moron, so I'd get rid of her. Yes.

All right, well, you can watch Celebrity Treasure Island TV on Z2. Maddie McLean, thank you so much. Thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So this has divided the internet. It's a photo that's gone viral. Now, people can't decide whether the wife is selfish or the man is selfless.

Or the man is stupid. Or in love. He's a bit crazy. Okay. So the photo was obviously someone who was sitting near them on a plane. So it was on a flight. And they put up a photo. It shows a woman lying down

on the seats and a guy standing over her. The caption said this guy stood for the whole six hours so his wife could sleep. Now that is love. Now did she have two seats or three? Three. I can see three seats. He could have sat down and

she could have used him as a pillow. So yeah, that's what a lot of people are saying. Someone said there's a formula. He could have sat down and she could have used him as a pillow. So yeah, that's what a lot of people are saying. Someone said there's a formula. He could, you could lay in his lap and he can lay his head on your hips. Yeah. Or she could have put her feet on his lap and his legs on his lap. So they take

off, he gets up and stands for the entire flight. He's literally standing in the aisle. I would have thought there would be a safety hazard as well. Yeah, surely. They just don't let you linger. Well, yeah, and also, like, just having someone stand the whole flight in your kind of periphery would be peripheral.

It would just be so annoying. Yeah, lingering. And he'd be constantly moving. Yeah. Also, I mean, she obviously fell asleep so the guilt was gone but like if you're lying down and your partner's standing there for hours

who's not going to feel guilty about that yeah be like oh no come sit down unless he was in the dog box oh yeah maybe we don't know if he's like doing this to oh yeah if I was real peeved I'd let them stand for six hours. No, I wouldn't.

Mr. Toyboy's not going to stand for six hours. He's going to want to sit. See, when I read this, I thought this is the sort of thing Mr. Toyboy would do. Really? Yeah, I reckon he probably would. I know. And we'd all be like... No, but see, I would never ask him to.

I would never make him do that, but he totally would. I wouldn't ask him. No, I wouldn't have to ask. He'd just know to. He totally would. That kind of guy. But yeah, so a lot of people saying that she's selfish and then he's weak. What does he really love her and he just wants to do anything to make her happy?

I don't think it's very fair to call him weak. Six hours, though. I think it's fair to call him selfish. The guy's an idiot. Yeah, weak, that's not really got anything to do with it. No, he's just an idiot. Dumb, dumb. Especially when there was another seat there.

Yeah, but she's stretched out on it. Yeah, but she could use him as a pillow. He could still be sitting down. He just wants to please her. And you're telling me there wasn't another seat on the plane? He's had a lifetime of this. He's not youthful. He knows how to deal with her.

How old is he? He looks elderly, doesn't he? Yeah, he's, I don't want to wager a guess, but he's got a long grey beard. So, I mean, he's not like a... So he shouldn't even be standing. No. Well, yeah, exactly. It's very dangerous, too.

No, yeah. I just don't understand. No, I mean, it involves love, so I don't think you would understand. If she loved him, she wouldn't make him stand. Yeah, but she fell asleep, so... Just woke her up. Hey. Well, I would...

Shaken her and faked up some turbulence. Oh, I've got to sit down. Oh, that's the other thing. asleep so just woken her up like hey well I would shift over shaken her and faked up some turbulence oh I've got to sit down oh that's the other thing

what about that there's always a time where the ding dong goes and you've got to sit down during a flight even like you're like what

have they put all that on for they're like sir make your way back to the seat I'm like but it's not even turbulence

they ding dong and they're like fasten seatbelts but then all the cabin crew are walking around it's like huh hmm why can they walk around and I can't I need to go to They ding dong and they're like, fasten seatbelts. But then all the cabin crew are walking around. It's like, huh, hmm.

Why can they walk around and I can't? I need to go to the toilet. Busting. But they're like, no, sit down. But you're standing. I don't get that. See, to me, either way, if you're going to judge him or her, it's still a really big gesture of love.

You know? Like, it's not necessarily romantic. Well, kind of. But, like, it's a big gesture of love. Right. So I would love to know, like it's not necessarily romantic, kind of, but like it's a big gesture of love. Right. So I would love to know, given that this is something my husband would totally do, what is your big gesture of love? And again, it doesn't have to necessarily be romantic. Right.

But maybe it is something that people would just like, hmm. What'd you do that for? Yeah. Like a little bit weird. Okay. Fleece doesn't have any. Do you have any more? I. Like a little bit weird. Okay. Fleece doesn't have any. Do you have any more? I was just trying to think of something.

I water blasted some concrete once and I wrote like. Oh my God, did you? That's really cute. I wrote something and she was like, oh, that's not, you can't leave that like that. Can you? Oh no, you'd have to water blast it. She was the rest of it immediately. That's what Sade said.

You went to the trouble to water blast something in there. Well, I love you, Sade. That does my head in because then you can always see that. No, you couldn't. Oh, it'd be like graffiti. I did a thorough job. Was it like V.S. Hart, S.S.?

It was Bert loves shart, is what it said. Bert Hart shart, is what it said. Oh my God, that's so cute. And then I was like, what do you think of that? And she's like,

oh, that's nice. How long are you going to leave that there for though? Because you've got to obviously do the rest. I was like, what do you think of that? And she's like, oh, that's nice. How long are you going to leave that there for, though? Because you've got to obviously do the rest. I was like, yeah, I'll do the rest. And then back to water blasting. So that didn't really go down too well. Not as well as I was hoping. I was hoping it was going to be, turn off that water blaster and get inside.

Like that sort of thing. But I'm pretty sure that's what every guy does any romantic gesture for. Right. To hope that that's the payoff. Yeah, there's going to be some hanky-panky payoff. All right, well, let's take your calls.

0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. What's your biggest gesture of love? Give us a call. We want to know your biggest gesture of love because a man has divided the internet.

He stood up. There's a picture of him standing six hours on a flight so his wife could sleep on three seats. She spread across the three seats. If they had a spare seat next to them, what are the chances there is at least one

more spare seat on that plane? He could have just gone and sat somewhere. No, but he wants to be with her. Even though she's asleep. This whole thing is just so ridiculous. You're the last person I would expect to understand. No, it's stupid. We don't have to weigh into their, this is what I don't understand.

We don't have to weigh into this. It's what he chose to do. It's their relationship. And you are standing by the fact that you think your husband would do this. I think his whole family, I think the men in his whole family would. Suckers. Suckers. They're South African though.

They're not Kiwi men. They're a different breed. What are you saying that South Africans don't like to sit down? It was a statement. It was just a statement. Ostracise half

of the listening audience but sure, have a go. Just tell them what you really think. So we want to take your calls. 0800 DARS at him. You can text 9696. Your big romantic gestures.

Ashley, was this your husband hey yes it was okay what did he do what was his big gesture um when we first started dating i lived in the small town four hours away from him and um he would drive to see me and um to visit me for the weekend and he wanted to stay with me all weekend and he would leave for work for a 7am shift so he would leave my house at like 2.30 in the morning just to get to work just so he could stay one last night with me. Oh, that's really

cute. Would he stand on a flight for six hours though? I honestly think he would. Would he drive, now that it's further down the track and you're like together on your marriage and stuff, do you think he'd drive that long to see you now? 100% he would.

Nah. He totally would. I understand. I don't expect these two to understand. I think we're going to start seeing a lot more people standing on flights now because of this man. What's he done lately then, romantic gesture-wise? What's he done lately then, romantic gesture-wise? What's he done lately?

He still starts work at 7 o'clock in the morning, and I'll still be in bed because I don't start until quarter to 9, but he still gets up in the morning and will bring me a cup of tea and I'm in bed every single morning. It's just like he's like, well, I'm awake, you get awake, get your lazy ass out of bed. He doesn't even make one for himself, though. Oh, okay, that's pretty good.

I know, I know. Thanks, you're cool, Ashley. Morgan, what was your romantic gesture? Hi, guys. My partner, when I'm running late for work or just trying to get ready, put face on, make-up on, he'll put my boots on for me. He will dress you.

Don't laugh. He puts his shoes on for her. Yeah. Morgan, that is so cute. Yeah, I've got no shame in it, eh? We were in Europe once and we were sort of running late to go out and share a room with one of our friends. And that's probably when I realised it was a wee bit weird.

And my friend's sitting there going, what are you two doing? Does he have a foot thing? Does he like feet? No, absolutely not. He hates me running late. Oh, see. Yeah, so it's less of a romantic gesture, more of a why are you always running late situation.

Oh, he's helping her. This was the same in my house the other day. Sade's like, I'm so cold. I'm like, put on some decent socks. Because she's wearing ankle socks. I'm like, those aren't a winter sock. Why didn't you say, come here and give us a cuddle then? No, I got no time for that, Megan. And the bloody laws

needed to be done. I was like, put some socks on. She's like, it's so cold. Bloody hell. So I went and got some socks and a blanket and I put a beanie on her and I was just like, is that better? And she's like, it's starting to feel better. Good God.

Tess, this is your parents' romantic gesture. When my parents were first going out, my dad jumped into the river because my mum asked him to save the baby ducklings. Oh, please. Wait, and the ducklings were in the river, so he... Yeah.

I don't want to, like... He could have turned on this romantic gesture, but isn't that their, like, natural habitat? No, it was getting washed away. It was getting washed away. Oh. I like how Dad's told you to call. He's like, better get some more mileage out of that duck rescue.

All those years ago. Love it. Hey, tears, thanks for your call. Somebody said, if I'm running late, my husband will help me find things and iron my shirt for me. That's another person whose husband sounds far more like he's just sick of you always taking ages to get ready. Yeah, yeah. So it's helping. And he's trying to paint it as a romantic gesture.

No. Don't ridicule these guys for doing something that's like genuinely sweet. It's either that or wait in the car beeping the horn. It's not going to get them ready any faster, is it? What do you mean, what can you do? I already told you when she said she was cold, be like, give us a cuddle then. Somebody said said my romantic gesture is when my

wife gets into bed and she says it's so cold. I'm like well you have my side of the bed because I've already warmed it up. Oh that's pretty good. But it's just to stop her whinging. So that's the thing most of these romantic gestures it's to stop you but then we like dress it up as something being romantic but we just

shush for a bit. It's problem solving., but then we dress it up as something being romantic, but we just shush for a bit. It's problem solving. That's not. No, you're so. It is. It's problem solving. This old bird winches a lot. The South African woman.

Did you just call me an old bird? The old bird. The South African woman that get men to do things are terrifying. Have you met a South African woman? They're all like, my husband does very romantic things for me and he does it because he loves me.

He does it because he's scared of you. You're very aggressive. Just ignore Vaughan. He doesn't know romance. He's never had it. I do. Romance is dead.

We're having a New York Times subscription issue in studio. is dead. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We're having a New York Times subscription issue in studio. Again? Again. Vaughan's like, can I use someone's computer? Stop being so innovative. You know? Stop being so innovative. New York Times. New York Times with your great fact of the day content and then wanting to charge me to view it.

Megan, I'm using yours. You get ten articles a month. Oh, easy. Okay, so now you've only got nine left. Well, it must be time for... Fact of the Day! Day, day, day, day! Today's Fact of the Day is about Dr. Willem J. Kolf.

Very clever man. Invented the dialysis machine. Oh, that's good. Is that the one that goes beep, beep, beep? No, it's the kidneys. No. What are you talking about? That's just the heart. Oh, okay.

I don't know. The dialysis machine's like when you've got kidney problems and you have to go in for dialysis and it goes through this machine and it does basically what the kidney does. Right. If you've got a failing kidney. Okay. Well, today's fact of the day is about when he was inventing it.

He was, it was during World War II. Okay. He didn't have any money. It was, you know, pretty tough times. All the good stuff was going to like guns and that. Okay. He didn't have any money. It was, you know, pretty tough times. All the good stuff was going to like guns and that. Yeah.

So his first ever dialysis machine consisted of 50 yards of sausage casing wrapped in a wooden drum set wrapped in a wooden drum set in a salt solution. Okay.

The blood was drawn from the wrist and fed into the casings. The drum was rotated, removing the impurities. Yes. So it would go through the sausage casing. And then he used a water pump made from Ford motor engines. Later on, as a slight alteration to it, he used orange juice cans and a clothes washing machine.

So that would be, he'd put it in the orange juice cans inside the washing machine and it would spin like buggery. Who was signing up to be the guinea pig for this? Draw it out. Well, people who were going to die otherwise.

I'm imagining we're just willing to try anything. Maybe you'd turn up and there's some bloody washing machine and some sausages. You'd be turn up and there's some bloody washing machine and some sausages. And someone with a German accent is like, you just must trust me with these things.

What have we done later to make us untrustworthy? I don't know. But, yeah, so after he made it out of sausage casing and a washing machine, he went on to invent an actual medical-grade dialysis machine. Okay. Yeah, as well as he worked on artificial organs, eyes, ears, and limbs.

He didn't retire until 1997 at the age of 86. Wow. Yeah. If a man can grow a heart, he can build one. That was his big philosophy. Okay. So, yeah, he never let anything stop him. Including a shortage of sausage casing.

Pop into the butcher. Yeah, right. I've got some sausages that are all in their casing that are all linked that I can squeeze the meat out of easily. I'm going to make a machine. Okay, crazy guy, here you go. So today's fact of the day is the guy that invented the dialysis machine first made one out of sausage casing in a wooden barrel.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Election hoardings are staple defences all around cities and regions at the moment. Yep. Aren't they? It's that time of the year again where you elect people to sit on your local council. And they do stuff. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm not saying they don't do anything. Yep. But I don't know all the ins and outs of running a city. I mean, I played a shit-ass game of SimCity back in the day. Right. I had the airport in the right place, and I wasn't afraid if there was urban sprawl to move the airport to a further out location,

but provide ample public transport and roading options to that airport to make the people of Vaughan City happy. Vaughan City. Even though it moved slightly out. Vaughan City. I'd improve the roading and everything. Dunedin, I'm looking at you there. You've moved your airport to the middle of nowhere.

Well, no, the sprawl will join the airport eventually. Yeah, but what about, is the roading going to keep up? Oh, anyway, look, I'll get SimCity in all day long. Maybe that's all there is to being a city councillor. Have a good SimCity. Yeah, have a good history of SimCity. When it comes to voting, maybe when those little brochures come. You should have to, that Have a good SimCity. Yeah. Have a good history of SimCity. When it comes to voting, maybe when those little brochures come.

They should have to. That is a good idea. We get people who are going for regional council and we make them play SimCity. Yeah. They can't be that busy. And whoever has the best city gets my vote. Okay.

That's a good one. Happy citizens. Yeah, right. Good flowing city. So anyway, we're driving around at the weekend in Indian August. My That's like happy citizens. Yeah, right. Good flowing city. So anyway, we're driving around at the weekend and India and August,

my daughters, seven and five, start asking like, what are these? Like, why are we seeing people's faces everywhere? Because I always find it weird

when it's like election time that all these city councils that have the strictest rules for signs around the city. Yeah. Like billboards and signs. Like if you're a business, Megan, your cafe, you couldn't just go up to the side of the road,

chuck in a couple of 4B2 posts and put up a huckery sign. But when it's local council voting time, they're all chucking up their ugly faces on every fence around the street. I think they do. Ugly faces. They still have rules they have to adhere to. Have they got feelings? They don't want to be called their ugly faces. I think have rules they have to adhere to. And they've got feelings. They don't want to be called their ugly faces.

I think there's like, isn't there a font? Some of them have pretty faces. I think any election hoarding, local or general election hoarding is awful. Oh, yeah. It is. You're right. Don't bother. Piggledy-piggledy put up.

Pull up some Facebook ads or something. Yeah. And then the council can't mow around them, so they get these long grass tufts. Yeah. And then when they do come in and when the election things are gone and they mow over it again, there's this horrible yellow patch. So it upsets your lawn mowing. Are those boards plastic too?

It's like core flute, right? Oh, yeah, they're choking dolphins. Are they recycling those? You burn them. Oh, okay. You don't want them getting into the water. You've got to burn them for the best result. So my daughters were saying, who are these people?

I said, well, they want to be in charge of running the city. They want to be involved in decisions about the city. What sort of decisions? I said, like, transport. Because my kids weirdly know about rates. Of course they do. And tax. Is that because Dad's always like, my rates, I pay rates, I pay. And tax. Is that because dad's always like,

my rates, I pay rates, I pay rates and tax. I know because I was talking about tax and then I've told them about tax because we've done some like paid posts and stuff. And so when they get the money, I tell them how the money all works. And then there's this, but that's gone to pay tax and that helps us.

So I've talked to them about rates and I was like, that's more on a local level. And I'm like, that money that we pay, they like spend it to try to make the city a better place for people. Cool. That sounds, and then they're like, we want to be mayor. Can we be the mayor? I'm like,

you can be anything you want to be, but I'd imagine it'd be a pretty horrible job. Yeah, right. Why would it be a horrible job? Because you're in charge, you're the boss. I said, yeah, but everybody, you can't please everybody. Everybody's constantly whinging. Yeah. You charge, you're the boss. I said, yeah, but everybody, you can't please everybody. Everybody's constantly whinging. Yeah. You know,

there's no pleasing. You know, you girls can do whatever you want. The world is your oyster, but. Don't do that. Don't do, don't be mayor.

And then August was like, I'd be a great mayor. I'd be like. I'd vote for Augie. Augie for mayor. Nah, because she'd sneak in With the funny And then she'd get in

And it'd be tyrannical Yeah Because you only see The funny stuff You don't see like The intense mood swings Of when that turns into like My way or the highway

Like that sort of Yeah right Situation So they each want to Have a go at running the city Yeah And I was like Well who should we vote for

And they're like Hmm That lady's got a nice smile. So now we're just judging on appearance. And now I'm trying to teach them that there's a whole lot more to it and you've got to, like, know what they want to do. And it's annoying me to explain to them. Now when we go past, they're like, that person, Dad,

what do they want to do with your money? With your rates. With your rates. What do they want to do with the money? With your rates. With your rates. What do they want to do with the money? I'm like, I don't know. They're like, Google it because everything's Google it. Yeah. Google it then.

And I Google and I'm like, oh, it's hard. And so much of it is this like, you're like, I think I like that person. And then you're like, whoa, hold on. And you find an article where someone tells you what political words mean. Right. Okay. Like progressive doesn't always mean like progressive. well, hold on, and you find an article where someone tells you what political words mean. Right, okay. Right. Like progressive doesn't always mean like progressive.

And there's like little things like woo, and they get you with the words. So I'm just basically just look into it a little bit. Right. Before you vote with old smiley. And that's what the girls said. They want to vote for people with glasses because glasses makes you a bit smarter. Because there's a girl at school with glasses and she's very clever.

And I guess that is kind of like take that to an adult thing. You do see someone with glasses and you're like they've got a bit of a better idea. Weirdly, you still do that. Yeah, yeah, you do. Yeah. Even though you should know better. Or they should be made to play Sim City.

Well, the Bachelor Australia Australia's got glasses, and he's an astrophysicist. See? Yeah. But what about all the dum-dums with glasses? It's always disappointing when you meet someone with glasses and they're a dum-dum. Yeah.

You know, because they're supposed to be smart. Who was, wasn't Arnie wearing, why were you wearing glasses? Or when you were going to your flats? Yeah, when I was doing apartment viewings, I was like, yes, hello. And I changed my voice slightly and, like, peered the glasses at the end of my nose. Well, you know, 100% of your glasses are in.

But they've got to be in good nick. They can't be, like, wonky or, like, have an arm that's a little bit loose. Oh, no. You've got to have good glasses. Yeah, right. Okay, so don't just vote for people in the local body elections with glasses. I mean, you can vote for people with glasses. I'm not saying don't.

I'm not going full Pol Pot on it and saying get rid of all of them with glasses. Look for substance rather than just glasses. Yeah. Okay. Like a moustache, for example. Great, powerful moustache. You say this, but are you voting, Megan? How?

When? Exactly. You've got more reason to vote now because you're a small business owner. Oh, yeah. So you've got to see who's in it for the small business. It's a lot of work. I'm going to have to read lots of people's things. Well, just bring the voting papers around for Indy in August. They'll take care of it.

Okay. They can vote for me. Google it. Glasses. Check. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

If you needed another reminder of property prices stalling in Auckland, the block final was on last night. And you've got to feel sorry for these people. This is happening a lot. Yes. I don't know why anyone's signing up for this. Well, for the last three, this is actually a cool, I don't know, I don't want to go into promoting someone's Twitter account.

I don't know anything about this person, but I just say that I've made a graph, the economists have made a graph of all eight seasons of the block. And the red at the top of the graph there, Fletch, is the profit. And you can see there, season five would have been a great year, great year to be on the block. Everybody made a profit. Everybody took home a little bit of chicken.

Season four, season three. What? That's not a thing, Vaughan. That's not a saying. Everyone took home a little bit of chicken. That's not a thing. Everyone brought home the bacon. No, it's for Jewish people, Megan.

They can't eat bacon. What do vegetarians bring home? Tofu. Take home the tofu. Kale. Yeah, oh, I bring home? Tofu. Take home the tofu. Kale. Yeah, or I'm taking home the bacon. Taking home the tofu. Bring home the bacon.

It's the alliteration that people like. Bring home the bacon. Take home the tofu. Chuck in the chicken. Okay. Right, okay. Well, either way, they were taking back something. Checking the chicken.

I'm going to come up with a good one. Okay. Like a good chicken-based. No, a chicken-based one. Oh, okay. We've got the vegetarian. Take home the tofu. That's done.

We'd absolutely put the wax seal on that. That's done. Brought home the breast. Oh. No, because you don't want a breast really. You want it to be

non-chicken part exclusive. But for the last three seasons, no one's chucked in the chicken. Well, they've all chucked in the chicken. No one's brought home the chicken. There's not been a huge

amount of money made. No. Yeah. My advice from a completely unqualified financial position would be like, don't go on the block. No. Because you're not going to win anything, are you? Nah.

Well, two of the houses last night didn't even sell at auction. Yeah. One of them actually got sold in a late night deal, apparently, for exactly on reserve. So that couple made a fat zero as well. So two fat zeros. And then they're just sitting there looking devout. Absolutely devout on live television.

They've set up some crowd funding, some GoFundMes. For the Orange team, which was the lads. But I don't know, because, yeah, I mean, do what you want. If you want to donate to them, if you watch the show and you've got enough entertainment out of them that you want to chuck a couple of bucks in. But there's also people on there who are really sick. So not on the block, on GoFundMe.

You wouldn't want a sick person on the block. You just need to, because you just get in, don't you? But if you're sick, you'd be like, I can't. You're just saying there are actual deserving sick people. And also that's a well-spelt out risk when you go on the block, that you could walk away with nothing after all that time. From previous seasons, yeah, you wouldn't want to. But then what are your other options?

Go on Celebrity Treasure Island and get voted off? Get nothing as well? Go on the block to become a celebrity, to get on a Celebrity Treasure Island and get voted off and get nothing as well. Go on Married at First Sight. You've got to go on the block to become a celebrity to get on a Celebrity Treasure Island. You can't just go straight to Celebrity Treasure Island without some sort of celebrity. Go on Married at First Sight and end up with a dud. You don't get any money there either.

Then they get edited out but you can still see their hand when they go to cheers. Great editing there. She was a hot mess last night I'm telling you ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast

Why not give ZM's Free and Clint a listen too Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app Or wherever you get your podcasts And you say Live's here ZM