ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 10 2019

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

Vaughan has encountered a new up-and-coming Vaughan, Community Notices and your oldie dating stories.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Megan. Good morning. Morena. I'm just looking. So, every now and then I'll log on to Twitter. I accidentally opened, I've still got this app on my computer desk, my laptop, and it's called TweetDeck, and it kind of, every now and then I accidentally click it

because it's next to Google Chrome, and it opened up, and it says the tweets. And somebody just favorited one of my tweets from 2012, and that's always bad to see what you were saying in 2012. Well, yeah, because it could be a spin-off journalist about to take you down. Yeah, for historical inappropriate... I'm going to watch my Twitter. Well, this tweet was about

Cara Haring. Do you remember her? No. She was the one that had the money put into her account accidentally, like $10 million,

and scarpered to China. That's right. And didn't they make one of those Sunday movies? So I'm imagining this is why this person has just watched this Sunday night theatre about Kara Haran. Because remember she had kids when she was over there?

And in 2012, I was pondering what these children looked like. Oh no. Because as you'll remember, she was Maori but she had ginger hair. Right, okay. And then she had children with had ginger hair. Right, okay. And then she had children with a Chinese local. Right. And so I was just like, and this was about the same time I had just had a child.

Yeah. And so it was all very interesting to me because my child didn't look anything like Sade. Yeah. Who's half Chinese. Yeah. So it was all a mix, but that, without the context. What does it say? No, no, I'm just saying, I'm just wondering, you know, when they got her back, are her kids coming? But right, okay.

She bring all the kids. Now I've got to know. How many years later are we? 2019. Seven years later. I think we've all moved on. I think we've all moved on. No, not me.

I'm back, baby. I don't remember half of what you were talking about? All right, hold on. Oh, here she is. Oh, hello. That must be hubby. Oh, he's in the docks with her. That's going to be trouble.

Oh, yeah, okay. Now I've got to go and watch the made-for-TV movie as well. Did she ever pay Westpac back? Did they get their money back? I don't think so. Not unless you accidentally invested in something. They paid huge dividends. Was that TV movie any good?

I love those. Yeah. Because I don't have a huge expectation of the, you know, the one I'm really looking forward to, and we said at the time it was going to happen, and now that the court case is proceeding and we're getting details, that story about the boat on 90 Mile Beach with the meth in it, that's going to be a cracker of a bumble.

It will be. Because I'm reading the court reports, that's such a bumbling story. It's going to be a great Sunday night theatre. All right, the top six is coming up. Yep. The top six ways you six is coming up. Yep. The top six ways you can prove you're 18 online. This is an idea that's been floated, that if you want to look at pornographic material,

yes, or a movie trailer, you will need to prove that you're 18. There is the thought that every time you're about to draw the curtains and have some alone time, you should have to put in your driver's license details. Probably not so keen on that. Yeah, no, no. Do you get demerit points?

If you're going too quick. Good for you. You come to an abrupt end. Or if you get T-boned. Yeah, but... Run a stop sign. Not following the three-second rule. All of the following will get you demerit points.

But the top six ways you can prove that you're 18 online. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. Okay. Headline one, paperboy delivers resuscitation.

Headline two, mega memory leads to arrest. And headline three, detergent thief makes clean getaway. Good there from the detergent thief, making a clean getaway. Mega memory? What was that mega memory what? Leads to a rest. Ironically, not able to remember it. Mega memory leads to a rest?

I like that one. Yeah, I love a little bit of mega memory. Yeah, your mega memory. Do you remember those tapes? Tony Robbins mega memory tapes. Was it Tony Robbins? Yeah. Where you get little bit of Mega Memory. Yeah, your Mega Memory. Do you remember those tapes? Tony Robbins Mega Memory tapes. Was it Tony Robbins? Yeah. Where you get the CD set?

Yeah. It taught you how to remember everything. Yeah. Wasn't it just like relate everything to a story so you remember? Yeah, that's what you do, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. You've got to tell a story to make yourself remember it. Yeah.

So you remember like different things. Yeah, well, I don't know how this guy was doing it, but we go to Tokyo now where a store worker, retail worker has been arrested. They've called them a clerk.

That's such an American, a store clerk. Yeah, right. It's so American. We just call them what would be a retailer, a retail worker, a store worker.

Yeah. They've been arrested for memorising 1,300 customers credit card info zuh, informations. So apparently, this is an unusual case. A 34-year-old has been arrested

for having the stolen credit card information of 1,300 people to make purchases online. Now, according to police, he worked part time in a mall. Whenever a customer would pay by credit card, he apparently would remember the 16 digit number, the name and expiry date and security code. Wow. All in the time that it took him to purchase this. Apparently, he has a photographic memory. Because I remember.

And could retain the information. I remember all my numbers. My bank account numbers, my credit card numbers, my driver's license. All my numbers I remember. But it takes me a bit. Like I wouldn't be able to look at it. Straight away. Yeah, because my mum lets me use.

You've got to start remembering other people's numbers. Yeah. So you can not have to pay the bill. Because mum lets me use her credit card sometimes to pay for stuff. But she like gives it to me and she's like, give it back, give it back, give it back before I have time to like...

Because you're like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never had a paywave chip installed in your brain. No, she's letting me take a photo of it. But didn't you remember your... Do you know your credit card now off by heart? Yeah.

Yeah, because I got a new one. But I remember that. It gets used often. And when your first husband banned you from buying things on the credit card. That's why I started doing it. Yeah. Because you take your credit card off someone, but if it's in your memory, what are you going to do? But see, I just remember the three digits because you see.

Yeah, you just use the save it in your browser. Yeah, but it doesn't always pop up. True. Every time. Yeah, no, not every time. Yeah. But apparently he managed to get caught. He was purchasing items online and obviously getting them delivered.

$1,300? That's phenomenal. That's crazy. Well done. He was just buying stuff online and he'd then sell them through a porn shop for money. Right. So he was getting them sent to either his work or home. So they probably just followed that.

Yeah, they followed the paper trail, basically. And yeah, apparently he has a photographic memory. And everyone's like, well, why haven't you been using this for good or, you know, actual. Oh, yeah. Legitimate living. What was his answer? Well, I was just like, I don't know. I was using it for good until I got caught. Yeah, yeah.

It was good for me. Isn't that crazy, though? Yeah. Wow. Wow. That's good, though. Yeah. For him.

Oh, yeah. The people who got ripped off. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Yeah. For him, not for the people who got ripped off. Sniffing lemons is actually quite good for you, especially if you have low self-esteem about your body. Sniffing lemons. Yeah.

So studies have found that sniffing a lemon, because I looked into how scents affect your mood, your thoughts, how it affects you, basically. And sniffing a lemon could make you feel thinner. So it could have a positive impact on your, like, body... Perception. Perception. Does it have anything there about a Peter Alexander candle? Because you know I like those.

Always go past the story. Does he do a lemon candle? No, he doesn't do a lemon, but all kinds. So they've actually said that vanilla may have the opposite effect. And I've definitely, there is a hint of vanilla. Because it makes you think of ice cream. Yeah, because I've got a vanilla, I think I've got a vanilla coconut. It's not a Peter Alexander.

Right. It's a, I think it's an aquaria. Well, you don't want to burn the vanilla one then when you're getting ready to go out. And look in the mirror, you'll be out. You want to sniff a lemon. Because that's kind of like a sweet, a sweeter, might make you think of pudding. Is that why? They haven't said specifically why.

They've just kind of looked into a whole bunch of different scents. But they said this could be a good thing to work into clothes. So bringing out interactive clothes that have scents. So when you put them on, you smell lemony and then it puts you into, like it boosts your self-esteem for the day. Yeah, but I don't, if I'm going to put on a tight t-shirt that's lemon scented and it's still bulging because of my fat roll, I don't think that's going to... Give yourself a rub down with a KFC refresher towel because they're always like lemony scented.

And you'll feel good about it. Really? Yeah. So our brain apparently holds several mental models of one's own body appearance. Right. And yeah, the scents can influence how we perceive ourselves. So lemons are good and vanilla the opposite effect.

Not so great. Should the lemon be cut in half or is just the outside of the lemon fine? And is like a faux lemon, like a lemon essence? You're only fooling yourself. Lemon essence, weren't they that band in the early 2000s? Yeah. Bring me today!

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6. Hello and good morning to the Top Six. Welcome. There is a thought around in New Zealand that due to people under the age of 18 being exposed to pornography easy,

with access to the internet being available to pretty much everybody, what needs to be done to stop under 18s being so easily exposed? They might not even be looking for it. What about Nett Nanny? Don't parents have that program where it stops? It might be a bit beyond some parents. Yeah, right.

Okay. So there's a thought that if you are to enjoy that content when you're of a legal age, you may need to prove it. And this is something the government is looking at doing, like putting your driver's licence, or would they use that RealMe passport? Or maybe, oh, I'm not looking into RealMe to look at. That's linked to everything.

That's got my company, linked got my company Linked to my company Everything I know, I know My IRD number They've talked about doing this in the UK And other countries And this is the problem Is that with everything being hacked

What hasn't been hacked? In our lifetime What database hasn't been? The worry is that Megan, for example, the database would be hacked and then your ID would be associated with all of your one o'clock Jonas's. Yeah. And it would say, if you use your real name, it would be like, Megan owes the tax department $1,000.

And man, she needs to branch out. It's the same thing every day. But it's like a horrible episode of Black Mirror. Yeah. Where everyone's like, what do you call it, categories or something

were like, along with their name. Yeah. Like, could you imagine that? Like, and how many hours you were on there for? Like, is it better to be there

for a really short time or a really long time? Like, what's worse? We wouldn't judge you on your categories. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be. I wouldn't be. I wouldn't allow it.

I wouldn't take your judgment on my category choice. Although, some countries already do this because I was recently on holiday and James, don't mind me saying this,

my friend James, he had a SIM card from the UK and he couldn't go on the dating app Grindr. Every time he went outside he was like, it just doesn't work.

But apparently you had to ring up in the UK and either give them a credit card or something to say he's 18 so that he could then get on to the dating app. See, and that's just dangerous because now they've got a database of all the homosexuals. Yeah, exactly. And that's bad because, you know, if somebody got into power and they were against it, they'd know. But also bad because I'd imagine there's a homosexual

at the head office using that for nefarious. Sure. I don't know if Tinder needed it as well, but yeah, it was quite funny. Oh my God. Yeah. So Pornhub have spoken out against this. They said that this is not good.

This is not good. We're all like, Pornhub? I haven't heard of that one. Interesting that you'd say that that is not good. This is not good. We're all like, Pornhub? I haven't heard of that one. Interesting that you'd say that that's not good. But I've got the top six today. The top six ways to prove that you're 18 that doesn't involve your driver's license,

your passport, or your real me. Step away. Number six, you have to prove that you're immunized. Not really an age thing. It's just nice to know that you're immunised. Not really an age thing. It's just nice to know that you're immunised. And I'd imagine it would get immunisation rates up.

If the trade-off was that you could look at RET sites. No porn until you're immunised. Yeah. They're like, just stick it in. The needle in my arm to immunise me. Yeah. Not yet. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to prove that you're 18. Send a photo of the shoes that you're wearing. Because if they're Heelys, you're obviously not 18, right? I know this because I've just looked into if I can buy adult Heelys and it's not an easy thing to come across. Okay, so that would be the one giveaway. Yeah. Yeah, photo of your shoes.

And those funny laces. The Velcro. Yeah. Yes, the Velcro as well. Number four on the list of the top six ways to prove that you're 18. Send them your NCEA level threes or your bursary results for people who are older than NCEA. If you're not 18, you'll be close enough and you did okay at school, so you deserve it. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to prove you deserve it. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to prove you're 18 if you want to access adult content online legally purchase alcohol and then send them the receipt. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because then you've bought booze. But then you could just be under 18 you could just get a receipt from the supermarket bin or the someone dropped outside the liquor store.

You need to take a photo of yourself with the person that you're buying liquor off with your thumbs up. And in today's newspaper. So now they've got your face. They've got the whole photo thing anyway. Number two on the list are the top six ways to prove that you're 18 to access adult material online.

Answer a simple series of questions about 2009. Oh, okay, yeah. Because that was 10 years ago and I imagine you'd have to be like eight to remember events of the year. Yep. So, you know, answer a few questions about 2009. What happened in 2009?

Oh, you're not getting any access to anything now. Well, it was 10 years ago. Rihanna Umbrella was released? No, that was like 2007. Mileyihanna Umbrella was released? No, that was like 2007. Miley Cyrus Party in the USA was released. But basically any song we've played this year for Friday Flashback was released. Yeah, this is true.

2009. What major event happened in... Oh, that's 2010. That's not going to help me at all get access. Oh, Albania and Croatia were admitted to NATO. Oh, that was on the tip of my tongue. Did you say Albany? get access. Oh, Albany and Croatia were admitted to NATO. Oh, that was on the tip of my tongue. Did you say Albany? Albany. No, Albania.

You said Albany. Oh, did I? The North Shore of Auckland. No, and Albany. And the Albany Mall. The Albany Mall is actually a member of NATO, the North Atlantic Treaties Organisation. Oh, that Air France flight crashed into the ocean.

Who won the Australian Women's Tennis Open? Raphael Nadal. Women's Open. I don't know. He heard you. That's just the only tennis player he knows.

Serena Williams. Come on. Oh, Serena Williams. Come on. RuPaul's Drag Race premiered. Wow. For the first time in 2009. Okay.

Okay, so we'd all suck at this one. Yeah, we're not getting access to it based on that. Terrible name. And number one on today's top six ways to prove you're 18 to access adult material online. Just get them to call your mum and verify. Sure. No.

Sure. Hello, Mrs. Smith. It's Pornhub here. Your son's just looking To play with himself Can you just confirm His date of birth please Mum would be like

Yes of course Yes yes February 20th 1982 Wonderful Alright well you enjoy your day Ta ta And they have to tell her What category

Oh yeah I was about to say Something wildly inappropriate I've decided to hand break You should I've decided we've Incriminated ourselves enough now. I'm just going to handbrake the rest of this. Okay.

Okay. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So there's a scam that is doing the rounds in New Zealand. And I don't know if I would be tricked by this or not. Maybe.

They got me at a weak moment. But it is basically a courier package that hasn't been delivered because you haven't paid the shipping. So a few people have shared the actual screenshots of what they're getting on social media. So basically you get a text about paying for a track and trace package. Now, if that hits you at the exact moment where you're hanging out for your parcel, you're online shopping, you might not even really think too much about it. You'd be like, oh, well, that's it.

Yeah, click the link. And the text, although it doesn't contain any info about a specific courier company, it kind of looks legit, like what you'd expect to see. It says, we have tried to deliver a parcel, NZ, but it has numbers with a link. Status, pending at distribution centre, please click to trace, and then it has a link. So the text kind of looks like something you'd get.

You click the link, it takes you through to a track your parcel, then you put in the number they gave you, the track and trace number, supposedly. And then they direct you to a website. Direct you. Did I say direct you? Direct you. They direct you.

Then they direct you to a website. I'll just direct you around here. Sorry. I don't know why that tickled my fancy so much. Then they direct you to a website, tracktrace-newzealand.blogspot.com, which sounds dodgy. I mean, that's a giveaway. However, if you looked at the wee thing, and it looks kind of legit, you put the track and trace number in there.

I don't know if I would even bother to look at the website at the top. If you read the website and it said Blogspot, you'd be like, okay, this is dodgy. So how are they getting money out of people? So once you put your track and trace in and you go through that process, it comes up with a wee screen that says your parcel is on its way with a wee career ban. But it says status pending, Auckland Distribution Centre. A $3.25 shipping fee has not been paid. And then there's a link that says pay shipping. So it's not a lot of money.

Yeah, but you think if they do that to, you know, a few hundred people or a few thousand, that's adding up. Also, I don't really want these people to have my credit card details either. Well, it's too late. But you'd wonder who would fall for something like this. Yeah.

We go now to the producer's booth where two people's family have been affected but we don't know if they paid the money. James, this happened to your mother. Yeah, it did. I got a text from her saying, did you order anything that would be sent? Just got tracking info saying shipping hasn't been paid.

Please pay. And I said, no, where's this email from? And she forwarded it to me. And I said, don't. Good from you and good from she forwarded it to me, and I said, don't. Good from you and good from her. Good from her to check. Looking after the boomers. That's it.

Good work. Yeah, go nowhere near that. But no, she would have been pretty close, I'd say, to pulling through and doing it. Also because, yeah, it's only $3. You're like, oh, wow. Well, yeah, what's the harm? $3, I'll give them a parcel.

But if you're paying with credit card, you're giving them your credit card. Exactly. And I believe in Tananya. I got a message from my sister a few days ago saying, have you ever had this before? And it was a screenshot with what you said with the wee courier van.

And I said, no, it's got.blogspot. That's not legit. And she was like, oh, whoopsies. Good on you, Sam. You just smarted the doctor. She's a doctor. The first time ever. You got your street smarts, baby.

Great success. I thought you were about to say my parents got this email. No, my 28-year-old sister. To be fair, though, if I got there, I don't know if I would look at the website. Like, it's so tiny at the top. And especially if you were hanging out with something you'd ordered and you knew it was coming,

you'd be so excited about your new shoes or whatever, you'd just probably click it anyway. Everybody's always got something coming, don't they? Yeah, well, exactly. So bear that in mind. Don't check the address. If it's asking you to pay for shipping after you've already had it paid for, don't do it.

Check the address. Blogspot's not legit. And most places wouldn't text you anyway, would they? They'd leave a card to call. Some people do texting now, but they wouldn't ask you to pay for shipping after you've already paid for it. Well, you'd want to check that that website's legit as well.

Yeah, that's the weird thing, eh? When you pay for shipping, for it to get to New Zealand, it's all the way to your door. Yeah. Black out, boo-me. This is why. Fat. This is why.

Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. This got the people talking on the internets yesterday Everybody was going crazy This was put up apparently by a New World Right Twitter account Okay New World Pioneer saying

Top secret, please don't share this Coming soon Which is nonsense They wouldn't share that Twitter account Okay New World Pioneer saying top secret please don't share this coming soon which is nonsense No On their local Facebook I can see this

Fallen Yeah It's Cadbury dairy milk chocolate with pineapple lumps in it It says inspired by Pascal pineapple lumps

so I guess they have to say that because they can't just call it pineapple lumps because that's a brand owned by another company. No, but they've got the, look at the picture. Colab-y vibe. They've got the, it must be an official Colab because they've got the actual like Pascal.

Why would you say inspired by? Is it not going to be exactly the same as a pineapple lump? Well, judging. Probably can't be. No, judging by the picture, I don't think it is. It looks like more like little chewy chunks. Yes. Indispersed, little chewy chunks. Yes. Indispersed, kind of scattered.

The flavour may be the same, but the texture's not going to be. Yeah. Because if you keep your chocolate in the fridge like an ordinary human and not the cupboard because you want it half-chewed by the time you put it in your mouth, it would be much harder because you don't traditionally keep the pineapple lumps in the fridge. Yeah.

I don't keep my chocolate in the fridge. Do you keep your chocolate in the fridge. Do you keep your chocolate in the fridge? If I, yeah, once I've opened it and yeah. No, because when you bite it it goes...

Oh, that's the good stuff though because if it's soft I just inhale it like a snake. I just go... It's better when it's cold because it takes longer as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like white? Yeah, nah, nah, nah, nah. That's only if you leave it there for a week and what sort of amateur has not been finishing that off? The night they open it.

You put it in the fridge and you're like, that'll do for the night. Then you find yourself 10 minutes later, you're like, bit more. I just have one more row. Little bit more. One more row, little bit more row. And then there's only two rows left

and you're like, well, there's no point leaving two rows in the fridge. Let's all just have them now. Now, I don't know if this is, if there'll be king-sized size options because this one that they've shared says 170 grams. Now, that's not a lot of chocolate. That's the usual block now, Vaughan.

That's the usual size block. They keep making them smaller and smaller. For what? Ants? This is why I do Whittakers because you get the big block. It's nicer. They don't do a king block anymore. Maybe they do a family, a little.

Yeah. But not of that size, I'd imagine. No, this isn't a, this is, this is not enough chocolate. But yeah, so I don't know if it's going to, it might not be exactly like pineapple lumps. I'm very confused by the inspired by. There's got to be something there.

I think it'll be like the crunchy, you know, the crunchy, where it's just got the little nuggets of crunchy. If you have the crunchy block. Yeah, but it got to be something there. I think it'll be like the crunchy, you know the crunchy where it's just got the little nuggets of crunchy. If you have the crunchy block. Yeah, but it can't be crunchy because then that's not pineapple lumps at all. They're chewy at best. It'll be chewy. The texture will be slightly different and that's why they'll have to do it. Because people will be like,

and if you're looking for someone to blame, blame yourselves because you'll always be like, this isn't a pineapple lump. What? It says pineapple lump. This isn't a pineapple lip. Yeah. And so they're like, well, we'll say inspired by pineapple lips. Are they doing this so we forget the hole that they made them smaller

and that they moved them to Australia? Oh, we've not forgotten that. And then at the bottom it says new allergen. See back of pack. What exciting allergic reaction have we got waiting for us inside this block of pineapple lips? It says on the pack. New allergen. See back of pack. What exciting allergic reaction have we got waiting for us inside this block of butterflies? It says on the pack. New allergen. See back of pack.

Is it made in a different place? I simply must know what this allergen is. That warning is almost as big as the Cadbury logo. I know. Why not have that in a tiny... Because they have to let people know. Oh, but it's natural selection, Megan. No.

Labelling law. Because they have to let people know. Oh, but it's natural selection, Megan. No. Labelling law. New allergen labelling law Australia means, yeah, they have to be of a certain dimension. Right, so this is an Australian, do you think this is an Australian block? This isn't a... What else would be a giveaway that it's an Australian block? So we don't have allergen laws here.

So what... No, I think we do. I think we do. We've got allergen labelling laws. Do we have a green thing down in the bottom? What does that say? We're analysing this, aren't we? We're going in. Coco

love. Is that where they're like no palm oil? No, no, no. Well, let's not jump to that conclusion. But no, that's where they try to buy it sustainably or something. From the cocoa bean farmers. Well, either way, it's eminent. Pineapple lump dairy milk.

Be treat wise, it says. Don't tell me what to do. Listen, don't eat the whole block. I'll be wise enough to finish it before my wife does. Thank you very much. This is why. Fat. This is why.

Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Everyone will agree that women seem to wait forever to get a public toilet. Like, I always find when you get off a plane and you're like, oh, I need to go to a toilet so bad.

And you get off and you, like, race to the toilet and then there's a huge queue. Like, at the airport, it's really bad. As a guy, you do notice it because you'll use the toilet, you'll be in and out. Yeah. And the women's lines are always huge. Malls, bars, anywhere. Yeah.

But it's because guys use urinals. You're just in and out. And there's always heaps of them. And you can cram in there, can't you? Yeah. Yeah. Whereas women need the actual toilet and the stall, don't they? And they take up more room in a bathroom. Yeah. Whereas women need the actual, the toilet and the stall, don't they? And they take up more room

in a bathroom. Yeah. So there are less of those. Yeah. Well, I assume. I've never been in. I just assume that they... You've never been

into a girl's toilet? I just assume that they say, here's the room for all the toilets. Half it down the middle, men and women. And guys get less stalls. Is it...

Well, I don't know. The toilets here are a different shape. Yeah, because I went into your toilets here one time. Yeah. And they are a different shape and they smell. Hey, do they smell worse? Yeah.

Oh, no. What of? What can we work on to better ourselves? I don't know. It smells. Air freshener maybe. Is it wheeze? Because that is the thing.

I often think, why aren't urinals installed in a home? But they do, they smell. Yeah. I've always thought that too. Yeah. I was like, it would be so good to have one in your bathroom. Nah, it wouldn't. They'd stink, wouldn't they?

Yeah, they would smell like wheeze. So two professors at the Faculty of Engineering and Architecture have done a mathematical model for the best toilet so that women don't have to wait. And men shouldn't have to wait either. Can I just bring up a point, though? And maybe we'll go to bring in producer Caitlin and Anya here, who are females.

Sorry, James. I don't want to feel like I'm excluding you from this. But what do you do in the bathrooms when you're at the bar? Because I feel like a lot of gossip goes on in there. Well, it depends. Like, obviously we have to do hair and makeup again, or like, just check that we look all good.

And then sometimes, yeah, you need to convene and just check in how it's going with the girls. A debrief. Yeah, at the club. But then how do you know in that time that other girls are waiting to get into the bathroom? No, but you can do that outside the cubicles. You can do it where the mirrors and stuff are. But you might be making friends, like at the basin.

You never know. If you're at the club, you might be, you know, recruiting. Oh my God, what's that perfume? Can I have some? It's so yummy. Yeah, here. Just don't use too much. much now this might be a surprise to you but it's been a while since i've been to the club i know right party animal central over

here you think old vaughn smith yeah club regular what was that now this is definitely before your time mania remember that club on queen street it used to be upstairs downstairs it's barkers now what was that called oh yeah i do yeah i remember It's Barker's now. What was that called? Code and Met? Yeah, I remember that. Oh, Met and Code. Did now, could I remember if I'm wrong, was that a unisex bathroom? I don't know if I remember. Wasn't that a huge unisex bathroom? And that worked well because it was a massive space.

But then everyone had their own stall, didn't they? Heaps of stalls. Heaps of stalls. And so if there was a stall, weird, maybe. Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe there were just girls in the boys' bathroom. It's probably that because I remember a big circular room and you could congregate in the middle and there was this place

where it was just mirrors and then there was a place where it was mirrors and basins. Right. So you weren't clogging up the basins using the mirror. But quite often girls come into the boys because they're sick of waiting. Yeah. It was too lush to be just a lad's bathroom. Was I in the woman's bathroom?

Was there a queue of women to get to the bathroom? No, there was just lots of people in the bathroom. It was an upstanding area. It's interesting that you say that because the two researchers have found that the best toilet, the best bathroom layout to avoid wait times for women is a gender neutral toilet. Yeah. Just to allow

everyone to go in, it drops the wait time because the average wait time for a woman, which I would argue 6 minutes 19 seconds. I've definitely waited longer. Are you kidding me? Is that how long? That's horrible.

So how long are guys waiting if girls are waiting 6 and a bit minutes? 11 seconds. On average 11 seconds. Wow, okay. So it does actually, for combined toilets, the overall wait time would be

1 minute 27 seconds for women and 58 seconds for men. So you will end up waiting a little bit longer. What? Waiting? But overall, everyone gets through much faster. Is that a bathroom where there are no urinals?

No urinals, just stalls. But wouldn't you want some urinals so that, but then you wouldn't it wouldn't be private, would it? No. If it was a unisex bathroom. No, my problem is, that's great, but like, that's our debrief place. Like, we don't want guys in there while we're debriefing. We can't have it both ways, sweetheart.

And then we go in there, we put our lippy on, and we're like, oh, my God, did you see that guy in there? Oh, yeah. That was the good thing about this, and I've had people have messaged in, it was a shared bathroom. I remember. Was it? Questions about the clubs and the minorities.

Well, that's like. You come to this guy. That's proof that it works then, because you said there was no queue. There was no queue. There was always people in there. Right. Yeah, right. Everyone was always moving through.

But somebody said there's a club now, I won't say the name of it, with a unisex bathroom, and there's not a lot of bathrooming that tends to happen. Oh. But that just happens anyway, doesn't it? Yeah, that's going to happen whether or not the bathrooms are unisex, gender neutral or gender specific. Or disabled, actually.

They've always been roomier. It's easier to get a leg up. It's going to affect my wait time, though. Sure. Well, you've got to decide what you want, Megan. Do you want a debrief or do you want a wait list? Short of wait. Go to the toilet.

Yeah, right. I just don't want you guys there while we're talking about you. Well, you're just going to have to wait for your bathroom then by the sound of it. All right. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages.

This is all up to you to screen cap these and send them in and I do thank you for sending them into our Facebook page, FEMZM on Facebook. Easy to find, easy to remember. Lots of animals in today's community notices. Let's start with Victoria's post on the Johnsonville Community Notice Board.

What was that smirk for? Nothing. Okay, that was a wreck. You just got a deviance smirk. Did you just getirk for? Nothing. Okay, that was a rip. You just got a deviant smirk. Did you just get a message? No, because I looked. When he got the deviant smirk, I looked at his phone, which is usually face down, but the screen was not lit. No, I was just thinking of something in my head,

and then I laughed. What, last time you were in Johnsonville? No. Or was it more Victoria related? No, it's nothing. Oh, my God. Okay. Why can't I do anything?

Victoria. You can do I do anything? Victoria, you can do whatever you want, but just that deviant smirk, definitely need to call him out. It wasn't a deviant smirk, it was a long smirk. Look, Devi, you've got to work on your smirks. That was very deviant. Victoria writes on the Johnsonville Community Notice Board, if these cats engaging in coitus in the

middle of the road on Bold Street are yours, get them a room. They just sat there looking at the road on Bold Street are yours. Get them a room. They just sat there looking at the car and wouldn't move. She's taken a photo. Oh, brilliant. As she waits, just two cats have. Oh, my gosh. It's really getting dominated there, isn't it?

My headphones fell off because I threw my head back. Hold on, I'll just get my headphones. I'll be back in a minute. Here we go. Here we go. So, yeah, those cats. because I threw my head back. Hold on, I'll just get my headphones. I'll be back in a minute. Here we go. Here we go. So, yeah, those cats. Cats, if you get them fixed, do they still do this?

But obviously there's no kittens as a result. No, I don't think they do. They don't want to do it at all. They lose all the sexual desire. Yeah, they're gone. Oh, that's sad for the cats, but good, because otherwise there's unwanted kittens running everywhere. Next on the community page, we'll take a break from the animals momentarily.

Tori and Speedy is after something specifically in the Rolleston area. Okay. Random, I know, but does anyone know or have a large cardboard cake that a small human man can jump out of with nipple tassels on? Very specific. What would make a cardboard cake non-nipple tassel friendly? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Some sort of really small opening where the nipple tassels might get dragged off and they shock already have got nipple exposure. But the nipples will be tasseled. This is by no means a joke. I'm 100% serious. It's for a 21st. Huh. A few people saying, Liv says, I haven't got one, but can I come to the party?

A few other people saying that they'd be quite easy to make. Yeah, you just go down to the local store and grab some fridge boxes. And afterwards, as long as there's no sort of like cake icing on it, you might be able to use it for a science fair project. Yeah. That's what we always do. So if anybody's got that,

Tori is in Rolleston awaiting that. Next up, we go to the Hibiscus Coast, the HBC. Anyone else notice this naked dude running down

Whangapurua Road by the plaza? And there's a photo here attached of said naked man. Oh, okay. Mid-trot, but he's got shoes on, which is good, because if you're going to go for a naked run, you've still got to think about standing on glass. No, he's not naked.

Because of his shoes. Yeah, that doesn't make you naked. How would you describe someone wearing no clothes apart from shoes? Almost naked, semi-naked. Torso naked. Like. Yeah. Ankles up.

Drunk. Naked. Drunk or fitness? Drunk and fitness? I don't know if they've become mutually exclusive. Next, let's pop along to the new Lynn page Where someone With an obviously Made up name I don't know

Yeah I'm gonna say it Lisa Patra So they've gone For the Cleopatra Their name might be Lisa But they also Identify with Cleopatra

Right okay I mean it is West Auckland Lisa Patra Might actually be On the birth certificate Could be We're not to know

Admin delete If not allowed Unopened I've always struggled With this cat brand Iams on the birth certificate. It could be. We're not to know. Admin delete if not allowed. Unopened. I've always struggled with this cat brand. Iams? Have you seen that cat food brand? I think it's Iams or something. Yeah, like that.

Unopened Iams kitten and junior dry food chicken flavour. Worth $32 to $36. RRP. We'll swap for wine. Lisa Patcher's looking to get her buzz on. Is the cat going to eat or is the cat no longer there? We don't know. Well, I don't know.

It's unopened. Right. Maybe it's been found by Lisa Patra floating down the Nile. I'm not exactly sure. 15 minutes later. Oh, okay. Lisa Patra's posted again. Admin, delete if not allowed. unopened pack of whiskers,

seafood selection biscuits. Okay, jeez. She had no luck with IMs. This is as well as IMs. We'll swap for a couple of ciggies to get us through. You've got your whole wine. The poor puss is missing out. I hope she's got food in excess.

Wake up in the morning and be getting to open the food. Maybe they've bought. But that's unopened. That's the thing. You don't want to know that your cat doesn't like it. And finally, some great news from Waikato Pound Pups. This is a Facebook page that tries to get puppies adopted. But you may remember they said they had come into ownership. Ownership.

Guardianship. Guardianship. That's the word I was looking for. Of a pig called Ernest. Ernest. A large coony coony pig called Ernest. Super cute too. Ernest was kidnapped.

Ernest was stolen and we were saying that he might have... This is a great size to eat. Not a wahia, wasn't it? Yes, we were expecting the worst. Well, they have posted, we're over the moon and so excited to announce, due to the magical powers of social media, bacon. 453 shares

and a Waka to Times article. Excuse me, and we talked about it. Oh yeah, we didn't get a mention. Out. Ernest has been returned. Yes. Thank God. He's in great condition.

Two shoulder roasts, a butt roast and pork bellies. He's in great condition and has been taken to his new home where he has the most amazing property and a family to live his best life. A huge thank you to everybody who shared this post and brought him home. We're very grateful. Where did he go? No word. Well, I'd imagine he would have been pignapped.

And they were just awaiting the... Yeah, but the news kind of spread. And I think they might have realized that, yeah, if they didn't give this pig back, there'd be some bad karma. I was really worried about Ernest. Some bad karma coming their way. Well, don't worry about Ernest because he's absolutely fine. Those are today's community notices.

If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours, FVMZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We mentioned already today the scam that's going around with online shopping, the track and trace scam. You've got to be careful for that. Well, I've got another way. You've got to be careful online because yesterday I taught Megan something

about online shopping. Start from the beginning because I sound good at the start of this. You were like, I want these shoes, and all you had was a picture. Oh, yeah, I had a picture of these shoes. I was like, I want these shoes, but not the green ones. I want black. We weren't even certain what brand they were. We'd never seen them before

and from a picture, from a mere picture, I found you the shoes for a cheap price in black. They were a boot. They were a boot. They were a boot.

You did great. Thank you. From one picture where we didn't know anything, you're like a Google image search but real. Yeah. A human version. You're like a Google image search, but real. Yeah. A human version.

Thank you. And not only that, you found them cheap. Way cheaper than you can buy here. In the colour you wanted. In the colour I wanted. I know. I'm like, this is brilliant. So get to the checkout.

This is on Amazon. Get to the checkout. And it was $98.84. Great for boots. US dollars. Yeah. Well, no, sorry. Yeah, US dollars.

US dollars. So this is where the issue was and this is where I, well, we ended up, I guess it was a bit of an experiment, but we've learned something from this and we thought we'd better share this. And I know we've talked about in the past when you're overseas and you buy something, you swipe your credit card and it's like, do you want pay for example in australian dollars or new zealand dollars on the f-boss terminal on the f-boss and you're like well i'm in australia i'll just click australian yeah i always go new zealand and that's why i was a bit like confused here because it was like well you can pay 98.84 us dollars or we've just put it here in new zealand dollars 159.80 and it was like, well, you can pay 98.84 US dollars or we've just put it

here in New Zealand dollars, 159.80. And I was like, huh, which one should I do here? 98 sounds better. I know that it's like US dollars. So this was Amazon converting it to New Zealand dollars. I would have just assumed it was using the latest. Current conversion. Yeah. Well, no. So I was like, well, I would have just assumed it was using the latest. Current conversion.

Yeah. Well, no. So I was like, well, I'm just going to see. And I was like, I'm going to do $98. I'm going to do the US, the local currency, and see what it comes through. It came through at $154. So it saved $4.80.

So for them to do the currency conversion. They were clipping $4.80. So for them to do the currency conversion. They were clipping $4.80. So I would have lost out $4.80. Whereas I went in the local currency, US dollars, not accepting their currency conversion. It's not a lot of money. It's shipping on another item. Exactly.

Yeah, five bucks. If you shop on Amazon all the time and you do this every time, 20 times, that's a lot of money it adds up. Well, that's how they get you. And then Megan was like, oh, no, I always just go New Zealand dollars. I always go New Zealand dollars, but I won't now. Thank you. How much money do you reckon you've lost on that?

3% is what that comes to. 3%? They'll charge you a 3%. Look, pretty much exactly 3%. Yeah, right. Transaction fee. So that makes sense, right? That's around about that 2.5. Yep.

So like we're doing something for you. That seems to be the go away. If we're putting your credit card on or if you're using this as 2.5 to 3%. Jeff. But I always went with like the the better the devil you know. So I was like, okay, that's the price. I know that's the price. I can't, you know, I don't have to worry about the fluctuating conversions.

So I thought that that was better. I never even considered the fact that they were, like, clipping the ticket. So who would have thought that Amazon is out to make money? So don't choose the conversion. Choose the local currency. Pay in American dollars. Pay in American if you're on Amazon. Interesting.

And you can do the little, I just Googled the price online anyway, like how much is 98 US. I have a currency converter app on my phone. Oh yeah, that's good fun when you're overseas. Yeah, yeah. Good to know though. And good to teach you something.

Yeah. Because you're all about the online shopping aren't you i sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at but i just want to take a moment to say thanks to spark for sponsoring the fletch fawn and megan podcast you can grab sparks $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value back to the podcast podcast. Well, our grandmother from New York City has gone viral. She's in the news because she is 83 years old and she is on Tinder.

Good. 83. 83. So she was married for 25 years and her ex-husband obviously passed and well,

she thought, heck. Time to get back out there. Time to get back out there. Get back on the horse. I beg your pardon? What did you just call my grandma? She limbers up. She has apparently met close to 50 men on Tinder, she says.

And most of them way younger. Well, I mean, there probably isn't a huge market for 80s. Yeah. Well, she says that she is often referred to in this article, she's often referred to as a cougar, but she's trying to reverse that negative, the negative connotations, the preconceptions there. Good.

Jesus, cougars, seven older than that. Well, yeah, no, exactly. Cougars, she says, as I see them, are not beasts of prey. They're exquisite animals. I'm never on the prowl. I never approach a man. Men always approach me. I love her.

That's me. 80. She's very positive. That's me in 50 years. Yeah, so she's been using the app for eight months. Her Tinder bio reads, Hattie, 83, fascinating older beauty, seeking a steady younger friend slash lover for a shared life of adventure and passion.

No pro-Trump and no players. Oh, I love everything about that. I love her rules. The youngest man that she's been with was 19. No. She insists. You are never allowed to get married ever again. The youngest man was 19,

although she insists that she believed he was older. She's currently dating a man called Sean, making him 50 years her junior. He's 33. Wow. She's my hero. Hattie. Do you think she looks Hattie

Do you think she looks 83 Yes Nah No not 83 I don't reckon she looks 83 She's wearing a Yes A one shoulder

Like White She sounds like She'd be a lot of fun A lot of fun She sounds very outgoing She sounds like a She's like no players

But she's Wouldn't you say She's met 50 guys She's like no players players, but you say she's met 50 guys. She's like, no players. There's only room for one player in this relationship, and it's Hattie. And it's me. But I was wondering, because you do hear of the rest home stories

and stuff, and I was wondering if we could take some cute stories. What about just pre-rest home? What about just old people that, you know, they do get widowed and they're not ready to just roll over. And not necessarily cute. They could be saucy like Hattie. Yeah, but I was wondering, could we take some oldies dating stories? Because you imagine

like you're married to someone for so long and then all of a sudden they're gone and you're like, well, I'm single. Yeah, and sometimes you could live for like 30 years after they've gone. You've got like a gold pass to take a free bus ride pretty much anywhere in the city. You could even catch the ferry to Waiheke on.

Exactly, exactly. But I don't know, do you reckon there'd be some really cute stories? Guarantee it. Some oldies in their dating guns? Yep, or just like the shocked, like older people getting back. You imagine being out of the game for 60 years and then having to join the dating scene again. So much would have changed.

Imagine trying to explain Tinder to your grandparents. God, it's hard enough to bloody explain how to turn Skype on. Yeah. So, okay, let's take some cute stories, some oldies dating stories. 0800 Dials atATM 9696. I don't think we're going to be as extreme as Hattie. You don't know? Who's 83 on Tinder.

There might be some Hatties out there. Maybe there are some Hatties out there. Give us a call. 0800 DALESATM. A woman from New York is in the news. She's gone viral. She's 83. She's on Tinder.

She met 50 guys. Yeah, some of them as young as 19. She's doing us proud. There's no judgment here. Not for me. I'm absolutely stoked for her. And as somebody said, it's not a cougar because she said that that's got a negative connotation.

They say she's more of a saber-toothed tiger. Smiley, older than a cougar. We're taking your story and some amazing stories which we'll get to soon. Some calls of those oldies in your life that are out there. Maybe after, you know, Gran's been widowed. My great aunt is in her 70s. She gets a great kick out of the mailman stopping by.

So she posts herself letters just so he keeps coming back. And she gets a little one-on-one. Do we know if the mailman's single? Don't know. Don't know. Don't know. Jenny, good morning. Good morning, you guys. You cracked me up completely.

Oh, thanks, Jenny. But I feel like there's a buzz. Are we about to get told off? Are we about to get told off, Jenny? You are going to get told off because we are not six foot under yet. My husband died in January. I run my business.

I have done zero courses. I know every app there is. I know about Tinder. I can do everything. And I'm still functioning like a 20-year-old. My grandchildren think that I'm mad that I listen to your program. They said, I can't believe you listen to that radio show. It's a psychographic Jenny.

Exactly. If you feel like you should be here, you should always be here. So have you been on Tinder, Jenny? No, but I will one day, but I'm a little bit early. My husband dies in January. I think it might be a little bit early, and I'm still trying to get to grips with my life at the moment. Oh.

Sorry to hear about your loss. But summer is coming, Jenny, so maybe download and get the profile going. But really, we are actually quite high-functioning people when we're nearly 70. Oh, I don't doubt it.

You're nearly 70, Jenny. I don't think that that's... I feel like we're talking maybe more 80s around here. That's alright then, but I'd still be like that at 80 too like we're talking maybe more 80s around here That's alright then but I'd still be like that at 80 too I tell you what

I'd still be skiing and water skiing and all those things Good on you You're my hero Yeah you are Jenny thanks for your call We're taking your stories

of your cute stories of the oldies that are back on the dating Scene Yeah we just talked to Jenny before there. Yeah. Quite a bit of interest on the text machine.

Yeah, I've had a couple of messages as well asking what Jenny's like. Really? Yeah, somebody saying that their dad recently single through a passing away of their mum and Jenny sounds right up his alley. Maybe we need to keep in touch with Jenny. When you get to that age.

She loves skiing and wakeboarding. She's having so much fun. I know. I wonder if she's got a beach house or a lake house. I hurt myself. I hurt myself last one. She doesn't need you. Funny creep.

Get out of here. Yeah, imagine if you were like, Jenny, do you want to go for a drink? She's like, no. No. Victoria, you've got a 95-year-old grandma. Yeah, so she actually flirted with the guy while the wife was still alive. Okay.

And then she died in the rest home about a month ago, and now they're dating. Wow, so there was like a little bit of overlap there, or a little bit of... She does not have time to waste. No, that's the thing. When you're getting to that age, you don't have time to waste. So are they going They're going out, officially. Yeah, yeah.

And they, like, sleep in the same room now. Oh, that's really cute. Separate beds or same bed? Same bed. Does she call him her boyfriend?

Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, is that just super cute? That gives me hope, you know? That even at 95, she's like, when my husband passes on.

God, how many will you be up to by then? I don't know. Hopefully a few. Ash. So I have a granddad who does a lot of online dating. And the biggest problem for him is he'll meet multiple girls over the course of like a few weeks. And then he'll talk to them on the phone and be like, so I'm so looking forward to seeing you on Saturday when we go to blah, blah, blah.

And they'll be like, I thought we were meeting up next week for coffee. Oh, so he's got so many on the go. He's got so many on the go, he can't keep up. He can't handle more than two at a time. And he starts getting his names confused. Oh, no. He needs a notebook. Like use maybe the back half of the password notebook.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Kind of keep track. Or get a whole new notebook, one of those ones with the names down the side, with the letters, and then you can go to their name. Or maybe just embrace social media and like put a name to the face. Yeah.

Yeah, true. Or maybe just let a player play this is true and we still got game in his 70s i mean come on yeah also good to know that tinder's still good when you're 70 aye yeah hi ash thanks for your call jemma who's the oldie in your life that's that's dating um so i used to work at a rest home about five years ago. Okay. And there was this man and pretty much he was single and he decided he was going to have five side pieces. So he was sleeping with five of the other women in the rest home. Oh my God.

Did the other women know? They didn't know. They actually found out because he passed around an STD. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. He has patient zero. So the nurses had to actually get him to go to another rest home and then we had to explain to the women's children what had happened.

So it was a bit awkward. Granddad's a player. Imagine turning up at the rest home to visit your mum or dad and then you have to have that chat yeah wow granddad got evicted because he's spreading std wow sorry about this family uh roger's been rocking at raw dogs hi jimmy thanks for your call Paul and Alan Smith I know I'm appalled on behalf of everyone I know my grandfather

was 91 and he had a 104 year old girlfriend in the nursing home he loved it the ratio was 5 men to 35 ladies

that's 7 each his nickname was young Harry he's passed away now but that's the thing women do outlive men yeah the ratio once you get in there so if you can just hang in there fellas yeah eventually they're passed away now. But that's the thing. Women do outlive men. Yeah. The ratio,

once you get in there. So if you can just hang in there, fellas. Yeah. Eventually, they're going to have no other options. Vaughn Smith,

2019. Hang in there until you're in your 90s. Most of your competition's gone. Yeah, right. Nana's 90. She has dementia, but she remembers she has three boyfriends.

I'm 27. I can't get one. So there's that. Again, hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there. It's a long game. My mum recently got a call from the manager of a retirement village

that grandad recently moved into. Apparently, he's been dating multiple women at the retirement home, which has been causing a lot of drama and fights amongst the ladies in the village. Mum was asked to have a speak to him about toning it down. But he's always been a tomcat. He was married four times and he had multiple women on the side throughout all of his marriages. He's 88 now, so I guess the old saying, players gonna play. I feel like that drama's keeping them young too, you know?

Yeah. Also, just imagine taking that call. Yeah. Like, dad. Yeah. Also, just imagine taking that call. Yeah. What? Dad. Dad. But then if he's been married four times and he's had women on the side throughout every marriage, when you put him into that village, you know you're throwing the tomcat amongst the pigeons. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like an old love island really, isn't it? Yeah, which probably wouldn't rate as well. Retirement island. Yes. Would you watch it? It'd be a bit racist. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

I've received a message on the Facebook page that I have, not the Flesh, Vaughan and Megan one, the one I've got with when I make videos with the girls. Yeah. And I've received a message on there. But before this message, I want to give you some backstory. Okay. Indie said to me, oh, she made Sade send me a photo.

There was a bike at her school and it had Vaughn written on it. Oh, yeah. She just spotted it. And she was like, that's dad's name. And so Sade, she was like, take a photo, send it to dad. Yeah, that's. I was like, steal that bike, bring it to me. That's my bike.

Dad's name. Real weird that a kid's called Vaughn. What? Is it it? It's not an old mate's name. What? My name's not an old mate's name? No, but it's getting up there

with like Kevin. It's not. Bruce. You're the only Vaughn I've ever met in real life. Yeah, do you guys know any other Vaughns? The only other one

I can think of is Vince Vaughn and that's not really his first name. You were the first ever Vaughn I met. Really? Yeah. I don't know any other Vaughans? The only other one I can think of is Vince Vaughan, and that's not really his first name. You were the first ever Vaughan I met. Really? Yeah. I don't know any other Vaughans. What about you, James?

No one here knows any Vaughans. No, I was just about to look on my Facebook friends. I don't think I know. No, you're the only Vaughan. But it's not an old mate name, eh? Are you saying it would be a surprise, James, if you went through your Facebook friends and there was a Vaughan just in there?

Well, yeah, that made me very interested. I was like, maybe if I do know a Vaughan just in there. That made me very interested. I was like, maybe if I do know a Vaughan, but no. It's actually a last name, isn't it? Shut your mouth. Yeah, Vince Vaughan. Vince Vaughan, yeah. Vince Vaughan and Megan. No, it's not an...

A, it's not a last name, and B, it's not an old mate's name. I think it's just not a... It's never been, like, really popular. It's not like... It's more a sound, isn't it? Vaughan. Yeah.

Stop. No. Imagine having a cute baby and, like, this is Vaughan. It's not like, more a sound, isn't it? It's not like, no. Imagine having a cute baby and like, this is Vaughn. You'd be like, interesting choice. Interesting. I didn't come for a roasting. It's not an old mate's name. It's like Murray or Keith or anything like that. Murray, Keith, Vaughn, Bruce. Yeah.

I mean, that's a fine line up of names you've got there. I'd imagine we'd have a good chat about lawns. Yeah, yeah. As we were, you know, getting into some steaks on the grill. But yeah, so there's a Vaughn. I never really thought of it as weird that a kid's called Vaughn because I don't think it's like age. It's not like a 19.

It's not like Tracy. Yeah. Sorry, Tracys. I don't know. You can't come for Tracy. This is about you. I'm coming for Tracy. That's like an 80s name. You don't see a babyacey. This is about you. I'm coming for Tracey. That's like an 80s name.

You don't see a baby called Tracey anymore, do you? Not really, no. But Vaughn, timeless. It's a classic, some have said. Okay. So, and I said, wow, that's cool. Yeah. The bike, it's got Vaughn running on it, obviously my bike.

And then Indy comes home a few days later and she's like, there's a kid at school called Vaughn Smith. And I'm like, there isn't. She's like, I like, there's a kid at school called Vaughn Smith. And I'm like, there isn't. She's like, I'm pretty sure it is. His name's Vaughn Smith. I was like, is it the bike kid? She said, yeah, his name's Vaughn and his last name's Smith. And I was like, okay.

How old is he? Wrote it off. Anyway, I received a message from his mum. This is unrelated. It's not like I've been hunting him out. They're going to be the only one. So she says, yeah, my son goes to school with your daughter and his name is also Vaughn Smith.

Spelt differently. Oh, okay. V-A-U-G-H-N. Oh, that's a real bugaboo of yours when people spell your name without the A. And maybe I'm just used to the A-N, but it always looks a little unbalanced when it just goes straight from the H to the N. But it makes more sense, Vaughan, rather than Vaughan. Vaughan.

Vaughan. Because this Vaughan Smith isn't going to have that issue you have where people call out your name waiting for takeaways. Vag Hand. Vag Hand, yeah. Yeah, which you've had a few times. Still got. Still get.

Still get every now and again. It's good because my wife's name's Shard A, but a lot of people just say it, Shard. Shard, yeah, Shard. They really hit the D hard and make it sound like a shard. And so it could be Vag Hand and Shard. Yeah. It's not a combo.

No. You don't particularly want yelled while you're waiting for a table at your favourite yum chow restaurant. So how do you feel that there's a six-year-old with the same name as you? Do you feel somewhat what? He's a bit older. A bit older, okay, right.

Oh, right, okay. But do you feel somewhat threatened or something? Well, maybe because there are other Vaughan Smiths. There's a Vaughan Smith in New Plymouth. He's the search and rescue Vaughan Smith. He's always in the news. Yeah, yeah. He does good work.

He's always when some moron tries to climb Mount Taranaki ill-prepared. He's often called on to go and get them. There was a guy who rang for politics in Central Wellington

called Vaughan Smith. Okay. He was running for the ACT Party so we all distanced ourselves from him professionally. But still he was trying to do something for his community.

Yeah, there's Vaughan Smith. I see where you're going and I don't like it. There's Vaughan Smith who's good friends with Julian Assange. Remember I got the message from someone recently inquiring as to how Julian was going? Yeah. And I was like, you've got the wrong Vaughan Smith. So there are some Vaughan Smiths out there

but not a young up-and-comer. Yeah, right. I was always the young up-and-comer. But now you're not. I'm not the young up-and-comer anymore. Time to pass the mantle to another Vaughan Smith as the young up-and-comer. But now you're not. I'm not the young up-and-comer anymore. Time to pass the mantle to another Vaughan Smith as the young up-and-comer. Is he a cutie?

I feel like he's probably going to be. He's got a cheeky quality about him. He is cutie. Actually, he doesn't look too dissimilar to what I looked like at that age. Don't put that on him. Don't say that to him. Sorry, fella.

It's all downhill from here, mate. He doesn't need that. You'll go to the hairdressers one day and they'll say, woo, that thick hair's certainly thinned out. And you'll say, shut up, Tracy, I'll hate your name forever.

We're being immature. There is a study that's come out of the US. I wonder, I think, maybe this would be transferable to New Zealand. Okay. So it has looked into marriage and millennials, we know this, we've heard this before, are marrying less than any other generation before. But this study has revealed that it's due to a lack of economically available men. So they're saying their single men are being labelled unmarriageable

due to their place in the current economic of unstable and low-paying service jobs. Ow. What about love knowing no boundaries? Well, I mean, this is done by, like, researchers. So they're looking at it from a very like stale point of view. Right. And you have to, they have to fall in love with you first.

Yeah. They're saying, yeah, putting love aside. If you're all broke ass, they're falling in love with you, aren't they? If you're putting love aside, marriage is fundamentally an economic transaction. It also says that young men, this is not me, this is a quote, okay? Young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women's educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors. So they're potentially a little bit smarter and maybe in a higher paying job.

We had this coming when we started letting them go to school. I said. You said, did you? I said, they'll outgrow us. Don't let them be educated. Yeah, right. And then people were like, what about driving? I'm like, are you nuts?

They'll be able to drive away from us. I knew. What about vote? I was like, is anybody listening? But I don't understand that. Why can't the woman

earn more and then still like the dude? Well, yeah. They can like him, they just

don't like meet him. Yeah. And there be some guys, and we've talked about

this before, that wouldn't like that they earn more. Emasculating. Yeah. Is that weird to me?

Yeah, like, who cares who's money there's money exactly goes into the same stuff like you're paying for yeah yeah yeah who cares that's hot when um a guy doesn't no actually i'm not gonna say that i'm not gonna say that i'll stop the music i'll put i'll put this thing down that i No, I need to find a different way of saying it. Just when you're ready. It's quite attractive when a guy I was gonna say but I don't want this to be the quote that sticks with me forever.

I was gonna say it's quite hot when a guy doesn't mind being emasculated. But I meant Oh my god. We're not emasculated when they. Poor Mr. Toy. When they what? Explain.

I meant like when they don't mind like the woman. No, I can't think of a good way to say it. Like being dominated, do you mean? But I don't mean that either. I'm sorry, mum. I'm struggling to kind of grasp what you do mean. So I mean like... You like it when a man succumbs to

any of your whims. No, I don't need this to be what follows me around. It's quite attractive when a guy doesn't mind if like a woman has like um... Uh... A whip.

Or like a whacking paddle. I just mean like... Strong hands. You know, you run it hard when a man likes a woman with strong hands. You've got to explain yourself. Like, can take a... Everyone's just staring at me. You know, like a... sometimes like a dominant role.

Would you like assistance from the text machine? Yes. Do you have any assistance here? Doesn't mean alternating the dominant role. You're in your own. Megan, do you mean you think it's hot when a man allows a woman to meet her best potential? Yes. That's kind of what you're going for.

That's what I mean. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. I do think Megan means that she finds it hard when a man supports a woman who aren't the stereotype. Yes. Kind of. Kind of. When the guy has the confidence to be comfortable with a woman in charge. Yes.

All of those. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, I got caught up in the moment. Yeah, right. She started thinking about... Yeah. So safe to say at home, Mr. Toyboy does what he's told.

Absolutely. Otherwise, he doesn't get pudding. Oh, I don't know. I don't want to know what pudding is, though. I don't want to know what that is. I was thinking like an Aunt Betty's, you know, like a... An old dry steamed pudding. This better not be a metaphor.

This is a metaphor. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, this kind of ties in, this wasn't planned, but this ties in nicely with what we talked about just before 8 o'clock this morning with the oldies dating, the cute. Yeah. And we talked about how if men can live long enough, then it's just a numbers game because women, on average, live much longer than men. Yeah.

So they'll have no other choice. Hang in there if you're single. Yeah. Yeah, hang in there. Yeah. So I have no other choice. Hang in there if you're single. Yeah. Yeah, hang in there. Hang in there. Well, this is actually, today's fact of the day is about how to live longer if you're a man.

Okay. You could live 14 to 19 years longer than other men. Whoa. Simply by... Okay. Being castrated. That doesn't sound fun. it? Having it chopped off Right

This was Eunuchs Is the Is the term It's an old situation Doesn't Game of Thrones was the last time I believe Yes

Yep Yep The bald guy Yeah Varus He was a eunuch Yeah he was a eunuch He was a eunuch

But don't they chemically castrate as well? I don't know. Like, don't some countries, like sex offenders and stuff, they'll be like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then this is weird to know that they might live longer. Yeah, okay. So this has been studied, and it dates back,

and because of the extensive records of the Korean Imperial Court, they can date it back to as early as the 13th century, where kings would be in charge and they would have eunuchs around. Now, these were men that would be castrated, so there was no chance of those men being tempted by all the women that they would have around. Okay. All the hot babes in the castle. Yeah, all the women that they would have around. Okay. All the hot babes in the castle. Yeah, all the hot babes.

So they'd have these guys doing all this important work for the king without the temptation. Because you know what it's like when you're a guy. So easily distracted, aren't we? Yeah, you could be counting the king's gold one minute, and then you're like, oh, hot babe. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, where was I up to?

I've got to sell the king's gold again. Yeah. But without it, it didn't happen. So they looked into it, and all these records said how old these eunuchs were. They were generally quite young when it happened, when they lost it. And they were at the time living to an average age of 70. Which is huge in those days. Massive.

Massive. The kings weren't even typically making it to the age of 50 in those days. Massive. The kings weren't even typically making it to the age of 50 in those days. And three of the 81 eunuchs on record lived to see 100. So what's making your age? Male sex hormones.

Oh, really? Male sex hormones. So even the three of the 81 eunuchs that lived to 100 is much higher than the average age now. In Japan, one in 3,500 people will see 100. Yeah, right. So this was three out of 81. Other things that look into it included the male testosterone would predispose men to adverse cardiovascular attacks

and negatively influence the immune system. Then you're going to go through your KiwiSaver faster. You know, you're going to have all these years. You're going to make that money stretch a bit further. Sounds horrible. Yeah. You're working for the king, though. This isn't happening like...

No one's really volunteering for people. Wait, so I don't get KiwiSaver if I work for the king though This isn't happening like No one's really like Volunteering for Wait so I don't get Kiwi saver if I work for the king Oh no Probably a pretty good Kiwi saver Okay Scheme

I'd probably just Chuck a couple of gold nugs In the pocket While he wasn't looking You'll lose more than Your gold nugs down there If he catches you Stealing his gold

Out of his Out of his pocket So today's fact of the day is If you want to live longer lads Chop it off. Simple answer, you just gotta lose a bolus. Lose a hola thing.

That is today's fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. Day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I've got a terrible knot right there on my neck. I've just felt that. You need a wee rub down.

A little massage. You get targeted ads on Facebook for that thing that, like, pounds you. You know, it's this thing you plug it in at the wall. Oh, it's in a drill? It looks like a hand. It looks like a's this thing you plug it in at the wall. Oh, it's in a drill? It looks like a hand. It looks like a drill, but it's a... Like a mixer. Yeah, but it's a massaging unit. And then it comes off and it's got these two like black rods and they go back and boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm getting a lot of targeted advertising for that. Right. It looks brutal. Yeah. But then you like look at the page and it really looks like a scam waiting to happen. Get Gary to give you a wee rub. Because Gary does them out there.

I don't know. I don't feel... It's just weird. I don't know. Getting a massage at work. It's kind of mixing boundaries. I don't know. It's just weird.

And it's a blur. It's very blurred. I like to go to a mall and be, you know, under the escalator. Yeah, that's not a blurring of boundaries. A stranger to do it. Yeah, what a stranger to do. That's the thing. Like, yeah.

Okay. I was just Googling what is sweetened condensed milk because I think we've all been too happily going along with sweetened condensed milk and not asking questions about what it is, right? What are you doing? It's just sugar with the milk. So it's cow's milk with the water removed,

about 60% to 70% of the water, and then with sugar added. Well, it's yum. Yeah, that's kind of what I assumed. Don't ask any questions. Right. No, I just wanted to know. Because it's been in the news a lot lately. You've probably seen this.

Sweetened condensed milk has. Everywhere. Yes. Because it's one of the key ingredients in these homemade Mars bars pods. Mars pods. Oh. Have you seen this recipe? I didn't click on it, though, because I didn't need that in my life.

It's on the Slow Cooker Facebook page. There's like multiple pages, but they all have Slow Cooker recipes. So I didn't know that it would, because I didn't know it would caramelize the sweetened condensed milk but it's just You know what caramel is eh? Sugar. Yeah.

Yeah. Like cooked. Yeah. Well this makes sense. So they put the they put a can of the sweetened condensed milk upside down in the slow cooker

and cover it with water until it's like an inch above. Goodness. And then they turn it on high for six hours but they also put something in the bottom to stop it marking. Just make like a caramel syrup. Because you know how hard it is to make caramel without burning it, right?

Wow. So that turns the sweetened condensed milk into this like intense caramel and then you turn the cooker off and let the cool, let it sit in the water and cool down overnight. Right. Then they get these biscuits called Arnott's Butternut Snap Biscuits. Right. I'm not familiar

with them, but it sounds like the sort of biscuit that I would leave in a box, in a sampler box. Yeah, it sounds boring. Yeah, it does. Unless you add something to it. Sounds like an old person's biscuit. Oh, it's kind of, it looks kind of like an Anzac. Like another name for like a buttery Anzac. So what they do is they put them in the oven until they go

soft and then push a spoon to the middle of them or put them in like a cupcake tray Anzac. So what they do is they put them in the oven until they go soft and then push a spoon to the middle of them or put them in like a cupcake tray. So that curves them. Then they take them out and let them cool in their new curved shape. Right. Then they melt some chocolate buttons in the slow cooker.

This is another way because it's so hard to melt chocolate, right? You put it in a bowl and you put it over the boiling water, but the minute you leave it, it goes crazy. So you put it in the slow cooker for 10 minutes. That melts. And then you pour the sweetened condensed milk into the pre-shaped

biscuit. And then you cover it with the chocolate. And you've made a pod. And you've made a giant Mars pod. And everybody's like losing their mind about it, including the Heart Foundation, New Zealand Diabetes Society, and general health practitioners who are like, those are small for a reason. Right.

And you're going to eat all of that. I just thought of an easier way. You know that sweetened condensed milk comes like a caramel flavor. It comes in caramel flavor now. Just get those biscuits, take the tin off that, get some chocolate sauce. Pour it all in your mouth. Just dip.

Get that chocolate sauce that goes hard on the... Get the biscuit and double dip. Yas, yas, yas, yas. And then add the sauce when it's already in your mouth. And no clean-up required. I'm starting to see a correlation between why that and why we're the third fattest nation in the world. Yeah.

It's because we've been trusting the sweet and condensed milk. I just thought it was milk. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I need your help with something. I've been invited to an event on Thursday night. Are you actually going to go? Yeah, I'm going to go because I really want

I actually can't say what it is because there's all these rules. I'm not even allowed to Instagram and stuff there. What a flash. Will you even be there? How will we know? How will people know I've gone somewhere if I'm not allowed to Instagram it? I don't know.

Anyway, it'll be an interesting night. Are you allowed to tell us after you've been? Is it like? Well, yeah. I don't know why it's secret. You just wanted to tell everyone you got invited to an exclusive secretive thing and now we all want to know what it is. Yeah.

Guys, I wish I could tell you about this great opportunity. No, that's not why I'm bringing this up. It feels like one of those. I'm just giving you a little bit of bank story here. So I've been invited to this. Also, producer Caitlin's coming. Producer Caitlin's RSV, you're coming. I've been invited too.

And why aren't we allowed to talk about this? I don't know. I like that it's not for public... National security. Yeah. It's a national security. I've been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks. I like that it's not for the public. National security. Yeah. It's a national security. I've been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks. I'm excited.

Now, what I wanted to bring up is that they've sent out an email about parking and the times and all that. And at the bottom it says the dress code is semi-formal slash business attire. And instantly I'm like, oh, God, I regret instantly wanting to go to this. code is semi-formal slash business attire. And instantly I'm like, oh God, I regret instantly wanting to go to this. I don't want to go anymore, but I can't pull out. But I still want to go. They might not let you wear a hat, Fletch. Well, no, I won't be allowed to wear a hat.

Yeah, what will you wear? Because I've only got one shirt because, you know, I've got two shirts. A suit shirt and then just a plain blue shirt. Because I don't own any shirts a suit shirt and then just a plain blue shirt. Because I don't own any shirts, so I don't have to wear a shirt. So if it's something with a shirt, I'm just instantly like... Yeah, they can't make you wear a shirt if you don't have one. Yeah, but if you turn up to this event and you're like, I don't have one, I don't think they're going to accept that.

Well, no, but I'll wear the blue shirt, but then like... You reckon I'll be allowed to wear jeans? Like, what is semi-formal slash business attire? That's a weird mix. I don't think that's jeans. But then ital slash business attire? That's a weird mix. I don't think that's jeans. But then it's either business attire or it's not. Is that nice jeans? No, you're nice jeans.

Semi-formal. See, semi-formal doesn't say jeans and business attire doesn't say jeans. Well, what are jeans? Smart casual. Yeah. You won't be able to wear your Crocs. I'll tell you that much for free. I don't own Crocs. You're casual Crocs. You won't be able to wear your Crocs. I'll tell you that much for free. I don't own Crocs.

Your casual Crocs. You do. I've seen them. You're wearing them right now. And you won't be able to wear those. So, but what's semi-formal? Like, just a shirt. You won't be able to wear your yoga pants.

Shirt. That's active wear. My Lululemon tights. Such a shame. Semi-formal? No. Can't get semi-formal yoga pants. No.

I would say collared shirt. Collared shirt and pants. But can I have a couple of buttons under? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's the casual part. Is that the casual part of the formal? That's the casual part. No tie. What if you've got some chinos or something?

Just huff right into the microphone. I don't. This is so weird. You do have this weird inability not to have a middle ground. You're either in a tuxedo or in what you're wearing now, like a T-shirt and jeans. Exactly. There's no, like, don't like.

This must be a very confusing area for you. Because what are you going to wear, Caitlin? Well, I'm thinking, Megan, can I pull off, like, nice, not sneakers, like, nice trainers. No, like, what am I trying to say? Nice shoes that aren't heels and then a blazer because then that's the business. I was going to say a blazer.

But then not heels because that's too formal. So like sneakers, but not sneakers, like trainers. Do you just go in track pants so I look better? Well, I still look better than you in track pants. Let's be honest. Wow. Coming in hot with some fire there. No, I just mean that when people look better? Well, I still look better than you in track pants. Let's be honest. Wow. Coming in hot with some fire there. No, I just mean that

when people look around the room, all these business people, they'll see you in track pants and they'll think, well, at least he's not wearing track pants. You can always, like, dress up an outfit with lipstick, Fletch.

So you could wear the jeans and then wear lipstick. Or heels. Jeans, T-shirt, heels, lippy. Yes. Nice top. Nice top and jeans. Nice top and jeans and then wear lipstick. Or heels. Jeans, T-shirt, heels, lippy. Yes. Nice top. Nice top and jeans. Nice top and jeans.

And lippy. As somebody has messaged in, they organise events. Okay. And if they were to write that, it would be dress pants and a collared shirt. No tie required. Oh, dress pants. Yeah. See, definitely not jeans.

Definitely not jeans. That means I'm going to have to wear like a white shirt. Especially if it's as exclusive as it sounds. You can't wear jeans. You're not going, are you? Might be sick. I might develop a sickness on Thursday night that is miraculously all right by 6am. Fletch, it'll be worth dressing up for.

Getting a collared shirt. Pop into Taro Cash. They'll be able to help you out. Is that how that's said? I don't know. Is that one word? I don't know. Taro Cash.

Taro Cash, I believe it's said. I told you my Tongan flatmate told me it was how he gets money back to Tonga that time, eh? I was so confused. I was so confused. Sam, he led me right up the garden path because we live by St Luke's. There was one I said, that still confuses me. He's like, that's how you get money home. That's how I get my money home to Tonga. I was like, what?

He's like, yeah, because you can get like shirts and stuff sent back there too. What are you talking about? And so for years I was too scared to ask because I didn't want to seem like a racist. Right, okay. Very confusing. But they'll help you out because I've since learnt they just do shirts. Shirts.

Right, okay, great. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.