ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 12 2018

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

A post-P!nk rundown from Megan, Community Notices and what did you have to do to get over someone?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Can't help but notice our invitations have been lost to the New Zealand Chocolate Awards. Yeah, but that's because... We'd be really good at that. No, you're all like white chocolate.

No. Oh, they're snobs, eh? It's not actually chocolate. No. It's got to be meant for the burn of a cow cow. But that's actually true. We talked about this last year, didn't we? And they have really funky flavours.

That's right. Like chilli and all kinds of weird stuff. I'm down for chilli chocolate. Like spices and like, yeah, all kinds of weird stuff. Yeah, that's good.

Cardamon. Cardamon. Sometimes you just want straight up like Whitaker's milk with nothing in it, you know? Oh, no, never.

What? Nah. That's the best. You're so basic sometimes. You're basic, Bea. You're like, that's... Of course, Anya's on your side because she's plain.

Yeah, they used to have a milk Madagascar in all baby. That was norms. What's a milk Madagascar? Don't know. The milk was from Madagascar maybe. No, no, no. The beans were from Madagascar. The beans.

The cocoa beans. Not the milk. Were Madagascar. I don't know. Pasteurised, isn't that what you say about milk? They milk those ring-tailed lemurs. I like to milk it, milk it. I like to milk it, milk it.

Alright you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline out of the following three. First up Y'all can't let me have no fun.

Headline two, rat pull fire alarm. And headline three, the definition of stupid. It's got to be one for me. But the definition of stupid. What is it? Y'all can't let me have no fun. Y'all can't let me have no fun. Y'all can't let me have no fun. Okay, yeah, yeah.

One. You want that one? Yeah. Okay. Oh, hang on. That's the one. Okay. We go to Memphis, Tennessee now,

and police were called to Walgreens in South Memphis. A woman contacted police after she saw a man who has now been arrested outside the Walmart exposing himself. She said she was too afraid to leave the Walmart, so called police and waited for them to come. Okay. And they came and arrested what is described as a self-fondler. Oh, a self-fondler. That is, I'm going to use that. I'm off to bed. All right, good night. Off for a self-fondler. Oh, a self-fondler. That is, I'm going to use that.

I'm off to bed. All right, good night. Off for a self-fondle. What? Nothing. Bye. Clayton Gamble, 31. He was the man arrested after exposing himself.

Police arrived. While they arrested him, though, he didn't go quietly, screaming, Yo can't let me have no fun. I got a rat. Those are literally all the details to that story. That's it.

He was arrested. Y'all can't let me have no fun. They got a little quote in there, which is good. Just want to play with myself in the foyer of Walmart. And you just can't let me have no fun. Y'all can't let me have no fun. There's no video to this story. I wish there was.

It's probably for the best. They probably can't put them up because, as previously mentioned, it was self-hondling. Yeah. I'd watch it. I know. I just watched the bit where he yells out, yo, let me have it a fun. I'm hoping by that time his pants were on. He was in the police car.

Did he have pants to put on? Yes Yeah he did That's good He did arrive in pants apparently Always have pants Yeah Australia's getting a telling off from Germany

And we're actually lucky to Oh this has happened before We're actually lucky to like skiddly dee out of this Because we're offenders too Right So we all know about Oktoberfest. Yes. Is the German beer festival.

Happening now? It usually happens in September. It's misleading because it's in September into October. Yeah, we've talked about this before. It's because they changed it because the weather's a little bit better so they moved it a few weeks so now it happens in September. But if you've ever been, Australians mostly,

and New Zealanders are pretty excited, should we say? I've been, but not in or during an Oktoberfest. But I've been to like the bear hooses, and they're pretty incredible places. It's so bad. There's one bear hoose that the Germans tell you not to go to because it's filled with Australians who get very rowdy. So do they set up tents as well during Oktoberfest?

Yeah, there's all different tents, and you have to get in early to make sure you actually get a seat. Didn't they have some set aside for us, Australia and South Africa? Weren't we the three well-known offenders? Because they get too rowdy. Because they eat a lot while they're drinking. Whereas New Zealanders have that silly thing that eating is cheating.

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, you guys are so silly. See, like, back in the day, I would have gone to Oktoberfest and probably had been sent to that tent. But now my priorities have changed. Crikey, I'd be eating a lot. So it's pork hocks and pretzels.

Pretzels are a little dry for me. No, you're not having a good one. That's what I said. No, the good pretzels. Are they moist? Yeah, they're soft and moist. Do they ever put butter on a pretzel? No, you don't need it.

Salt. Anyway, so the Australians are being told off by the Germans, specifically Australian women because they're going there dressed scantily clad. Oh, yeah. So they're going in

the traditional Bavarian clothing, which we can all picture in our minds. The letter who's in. Yeah, that's the guys one, isn't it? Or is that the guys and girls?

I don't know. I didn't know if that was the name for both of them. I mean, the girls does have a different name, does it? Yeah, that's the guys one. Right. So it's the dress with the white top.

And traditionally, it's knee length or longer. They have it too short. So there's traditional places there that are getting asked by women if they can make them a bit shorter, if they can make the corsets tighter so their boobs pop out because they want to get a good gram. So these women are going there dressed in the traditional clothing, but I guess they're making it a little bit raunchier.

They're not happy. You can definitely see East and West Berlin, you know. It's so short. There's a divide down the middle. You can see the wall. Yeah, yeah. The iron curtain. But it's a traditional dress

and it's being sexualised and they're saying Australian women are the worst offenders I'm pretty sure New Zealand women are and men

no it's that thing where they can't tell accents apart so let's just not correct them let's just let them I know the one time it's great to be confused

with Australia yes I am Australian I'm thankful to say that I didn't do that to the traditional dress when I went over. But mostly because I don't like dressing up.

But you see that so many people. What if you just go and stand in clothes? Yeah. Heaps of people go and stand in clothes. Come on.

Heaps of people go and stand in clothes. Gotta get with it. You didn't do anything that was a bad representation for the country? No. I didn't do anything that was a bad representation for the country? No. I didn't.

Someone else got bitten. Remember? And they got bitten by a German. It wasn't in New Zealand. A feral German. It's so feral. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there and welcome to today's Top Six.

Dealing with the fact that there is going to be a baby spa in New Zealand. Hmm? What? Yes. A spa for babies. Like when you go to a day spa and get a luxurious massage. Yeah. It's like hydrotherapy and massage. And you put like a rubber ring around their neck and drop them in this water

and they're just like, but apparently it's fine. Looks semi-torturous to me. But yeah, there's massage, there's hydrotherapy. It's all, you know, like we would enjoy a relaxing day at the spa. Wasted on a baby though. It's like taking a baby to Fiji when they're a baby. They're not going to remember that.

Just leave them at home. No, it's supposed to calm them down so they're less... You've got to bath at home. This world's getting so bloody stupid. So with baby spas in mind, today's top six are the top six other things that need spas. Oh, Megan. Megan's already come up with the baby spa theme song. Baby spa.

Baby spa. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Baby spa. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Baby spa. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Baby spa. That's their jingle. Good.

I like it. So the top six other things that need spas. My car. I mean, there's a valet, sure, but sometimes your car needs more than a clean. You need to feel sorry for it. I have not. I've not treated you well, have I? I've done some things in your car.

Oh, like farts? Yeah. Yeah. You know the bad thing was on Monday, so two days ago, my car hadn't been used all weekend. It had been shut. And I got in and I was like, poor. Crack a window in the garage at least.

That's what it's like for people to come into the studio. I know. But imagine if it was still there like three days later. How's that possible? So I let the windows down at work in the basement that day and then I got in and it smelled like pho. Because we've got the pho soup. Oh, yum. So that's way better than farts.

Yeah, it is. God, we're going camping with him this weekend. Or you're not, Megan. Good luck with that. Hot box the dock heart. With your farts. Oh, yeah, with farts. Yeah.

Definitely. Take a lot of marijuana to hot box an entire dock heart. They're small, but too big to hot box from what I'm told. Number five on the list of the top six other things that need spas, like the baby spa, at the other end of the age spectrum, the old mate spa. Because it can't look like a spa. And he can't go back to the workshop afterwards

smelling like Jasmine and Sandalwood, the bloody lads of where you were on his case. It's got to look like an old shed. I guess they rub you with bacon grease. Sure. I'm just trying to think guess they rub you with bacon grease. Sure. I'm just trying to think of a... Or just normal grease. Yeah, engine grease and bacon grease.

What a combo. Number four on the list of the top six things that need spas, computers. They know everything about us, and they've seen some things and seen us doing some things. So really, I think if anybody deserves a nice day at the spa trying to forget their problems, it's your computer. You horrible, disgusting human. Number three on the list, wheelie bins need their own spa.

Those poor pieces of plastic were moulded into our giant filth buckets. What did they do to deserve this? Whatever happened to your business? No, because someone said there's someone already doing it. Cleaning wheelie bins. Yeah. Cleaning wheelie bins. Again, I don't know how much it costs,

but I'm pretty sure I could undercut them. Because I've just got like... You'd have to do so many wheelie bins to make a profit. You just drove down the road. You'd have your clientele. Your wheelie wash, they do them. Wheelie bin cleans. Oh, yes, there's a few of them.

A lot of places already. How much are they charging for this? What's the... Let me see, wheelie... See, no, he's in my hand. I'd have an automated trailer. I'd pull up to it on the trailer. I'd pick the wheelie bin up with the arm,

like the arm that puts the wheelie bin rubbish in the truck. Yeah. And it would put it onto like a giant brush, like a bottle brush that's spun. Yeah, like when you're at the bar and they put the onto like a giant brush, like a bottle brush that spun. Yeah, like when you're at the bar and they put the brushes in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, that thing. So it would be that. They don't say on here how much.

Or like hot water jets and stuff. Yeah. But see, I'd need to just have an agreement to drive down a road and just do everybody's all in one sort of like swoop. Right. Because you'd need to take your own water too. Think about that. Oh, that'd cost you some money.

Yeah, fill up a tank. Anyway, back to the room board on that one. Number two on the list of the top six other things that need spas along with the baby spa, pet spas. Because I kind of know that there's like grooming, but they're like full-blown pet spas. Like dogs would love it.

Dogs would just be like, I am getting so much attention, I don't know what to do with myself. And cats would love it right up until they hated it. And then they'd scratch it. Yeah, they're like, oh, this is nice and relaxing

and that's a good spot and that's a good spot. It's not a good spot anymore! Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish. Bite, bite, bite. Back feet. Roar, roar, roar, roar. And the number one thing

that could use a spa if babies are getting spas, house plants. Not looking at anybody in this room in particular, but someone has been mistreating the house plants. They definitely need a break from you. No, some of mine are doing real well. Some of them.

The fiddle leaf ficus, is that one? Yeah. Yeah, those are doing real well. Al's just got three new leaves and they... That's good stuff. I know, that's good stuff. But at the top, one of the leaves is bigger than every other leaf on the plant oh that's annoying and it's not symmetrical chop it off then no don't chop it it's right at the top it's too it looks upside down

tree because the bigger part's supposed to be at the bottom of this yeah right okay i don't know what you're going to do there and it's like dragging that dragging it over give your steak yeah they came staked. Yeah, I need a new stake because ours has gone too tall for the stake, which is another sign that it's doing quite well. It'll grow into its bigger leaves. Yeah, I need to get a new stake. That's a little awkward teenage years.

Yeah, a little bit lanky, a little bit gangly. That is today's top six. A British couple were on holiday in Toronto, Canada, and they found something in their hotel room, or in their Airbnb's bedroom. Right. So facing, Dougie is his name, he was lying down after walking around the city and everything, they had a busy day.

He was lying down on the bed and he was facing like a clock radio, like a little clock thing. And he said he was just staring at it for a while and he started to feel a bit uneasy. He is one of these people that saw something online and was like, oh, could that be a camera? Like he's seen, he's watched some videos and he's like, oh, I'm a bit, I'm just paranoid. Like I've seen too many things on Airbnbs and on hotel rooms that are spying on us. And so he sat there for a bit longer and he was like, no, I'm going to check it out. So he went over to look at this little clock that was facing the bed in the Airbnb. Oh, go on. And he said the cord in the back of it, he pulled it out and he saw like a little light go off.

And when he slid the front facing off the clock, he could see there was a little camera. Uh-oh. But in the alarm clock, they'd just be watching him sleep. What do you mean? Or whatever else is going on in that bed. Okay. Smelly's called

Married Man. Married Man. Yeah, right. You wouldn't even get the good spot. It'd be right up the head. No, it. Right. But it'd be right up, you wouldn't even get the good spot. It'd be right up the head. The head end. No, it was opposite, like, obviously like where the TV was or something.

Oh. Opposite the bed, facing them. Oh, because when you said he was staring at it, I immediately thought, sometimes I find myself doing it too. You lie on your side and you're just looking at something as you're watching time go by.

No, it was across the room. I guess maybe that's why you'd be like, why is that there? Unusual spot. Yeah. Because it's a bedside. It's a bedside clock, not an across the room. I guess maybe that's why you'd be like, why is that there? Unusual spot. Yeah, because it's a bedside. It's a bedside club, not an over there club. So they didn't want to stay there and Airbnb are investigating, but they don't know.

So this place has multiple listings on Airbnb. And like hundreds of reviews. Yeah, so a lot of people have stayed there. And I don't know if it's like a thing that happens in every one of the Airbnbs, but they are looking into it. Wow. And he doesn't yet know if the owner has a video of them. And he doesn't go into details as to whether there was any like shenanigans

or whether they were sleeping, but still creepy. That is creepy. What would you do if you found that? I don't know. He was like, are we going to be these people now that like search rooms for spy cams? I would never even think of doing that.

You can buy one of those things on the movies, with a little antenna, and it's going... Can you? Yeah, if it's... That's old school, though. That's if it's broadcasting signal. That's not if it's on Wi-Fi.

If it's on Wi-Fi, it's... You wouldn't find one. Oh, it's old, isn't it? Have you ever swept an Airbnb for cameras? I've only stayed in a couple, but I don't even think about it, to be honest.

Just like, oh, the people seem lovely, but they always do, don't they? Yeah. I'd actually be flattered if anything I did nude in a hotel room ended up online. They look back and they're like, oh, delete that one.

Delete the last 24 hours. I wouldn't blame them. Did I make the folder? Yeah, exactly. You hear this, Airbnb's been done. You're like, oh, my God, we stayed there. You go online and you're like, not even on the list. Didn't even make it to hot people staying at Airbnb.com. Didn't even make it to hot people staying at Airbnb.com.

Didn't even make it to average people staying at Airbnb.com. Can you check their deleted items? Yeah. We're in the trash at least. Or they just straight up format the hard drive after we left. Do you guys ever watch that Netflix doco of the guy that ran that motel? Yeah. That's immediately what I thought of.

Creepy, eh? Yeah. And he got away with it because it was so long ago. Well, he was doing it old school. He was using his eyes. He wasn't using... He was using his eyes in an attic space, wasn't he? He wasn't using...

Yeah, holes in the vents and stuff. He wasn't using cameras. Creepy. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages, your buy, sell and trade pages, your community notice boards.

Let's dive in to buy and sell Auckland Central where someone's got something for sale. It's perfume. Okay. And it's for sale. $40 each. Yeah. It's a Dolce & Gabbana.

There looks to be two on offer. Yeah. Okay. Is it quite's a Dolce & Gabbana. There looks to be two on offer. Yeah. Okay. Is it quite cheap for Dolce & Gabbana perfume? $40. What size is it? It's a big one. Yeah, that's quite cheap.

It's the big one. Cash money, they say. $40 each for sale. Not for meth either. Just to clarify. In case you wanted to do a switchy swaps for meth. Right. Oh, I thought they were just saying that the money's not going to be used for meth.

Oh, maybe. I just thought people might have been using the old-fashioned barter system. Really? Oh, no. See, I took from that they're guilty. Because you know when someone's guilty, it's definitely not for that. Yeah. And it is because they're saying that.

Oh, right. You think it's them saying this money's not for meth. It's for, well, that comes to us. Someone believes that probably fits under the subcategory for community notices of probably pinched. Yeah. Probably pinched. Next on community notices, we're going to Bell Block.

Now, we're tomorrow heading to New Plymouth. We'll pass kind of around Bell Block. Well, you bypass it now. Yeah. You go through pretty much through it, yeah. Well, it's on the Bell Block community page that there's a picture of a car. I'll show you this picture of

this car here. This has been parked in Bell Block. This is the sort of what we're getting ourselves into tomorrow, Megan. Going to Fletcher's home area. Yeah. Can anyone help with any information on who stole my daughter's tyres from her car last night? And it's literally her car on bricks.

And they've stolen the wheels. Yeah, they've stolen the wheels. They've checked it up, bricked it. Like, that's old school. I haven't seen that for a while. And I live in West Auckland. That's just a run-around car. That's a Mazda XCellar, I think.

You can't tell me the wheels on that would have been expensive. They might have been aftermarket. That's why when you ring up the insurance to insure your car, they say any aftermarket parts. And if you've got aftermarket wheels, they tag a bit on your premium because it's more likely to be targeted. Like that. Well, that's why we can't get anything nice.

What do you do? You've got to go get four tyres from somewhere. You can't even put the space saver on. At least you've got four of them. Magically whip around and ask everybody for a space saver each

and then they've got to be the right stud pattern to go on. Oh, that's terrible. That's a wild inconvenience, isn't it? So what we can take from that tomorrow

when we're in for the Fact of the Day pub quiz tour is not to leave the vehicle lying around. Lying around. Lying around. Not at... Outside the hotel.

Not at Hickford Park in Bell Block, anyway. Vietnamese dollars for sale is our next community notice. Are they called dongs? Vietnamese dongs. That's right, the Vietnamese dong. TD has been to Vietnam recently. This is in the Buy and Sell Hamilton and Waikato page. Anyone here flying to Vietnam?

I have a $20,000 note. As you say, it's dong, not dollar. It is written dollar. $20,000 note willing to exchange for New Zealand dollars. Will exchange to highest offer. I'm not obviously asking for $20,000 New Zealand dollars, but a decent offer, please. No stupid comments.

If not interested, carry on to the next post. And delete, if not allowed, admin chairs to which Liana dives in. Has she Googled like I just have? Oh, yeah. $20,000 dong, $1.30. Yeah, I just Googled $1.32. Yeah.

Come on, mate. $1.32 in New Zealand dollars. Someone's given that to him, eh? Like he hasn't even been to Vietnam. Otherwise, he'd know. He'd know that you're not getting much for 20,000 dong. Next on the Hauru Community Notice Board. I don't know where that is.

H-O-U. Are you going to Google Maps this for me? H-O-U. O-U. H-O-R-A. It is a locality and harbour on the east side of the... It's Northland. Is it?

41km north of Kytire. Oh, okay. So we're heading to the beautiful spot. I mean, you're talking about the winterless north now. You know, I've got a big soft spot in my heart for the Bay of Islands and anywhere north of... Ho Horta. Yeah, it's beautiful.

Oh, it's got an inlet. Yeah, no, it does. Beautiful Oh, it's got an inlet. It's got, yeah, no, it does. Beautiful. I guess. Getting up there. Briar writes on the Ho Horta community

notice board, would anybody be interested in taking all my grandparents' cats? They are moving for about, in about a month and can't take them

to their new home. His name is Marlon and he scratches everything and he's also a dick. Are you not selling it? Probably best just to lock them outside. His name is Marlon and he scratches everything and he's also a dick. Are you not selling it? Probably best just to lock him outside. Call this number if interested in Marlon, the cat.

Yeah, right. Not a great selling point. And look at this cat. It does just look like an absolute bag of turds. Oh, yeah. No one's... It's like what you want.

It's like staring you out. I don't want you to call me a cat snob again, but... No. Well, I wouldn't have any. Slightly nicer look on its face. Actually, there is now on second look, there is something appealing about that cat. I don't know what it is.

Right, okay. It's got a black nose. You don't see that on a cat very often. A black nose? Yeah, a black nose. Is there a cat? You don't see that on a cat very often. When did you last see a black nose on a cat?

A whole black cat? A whole black't see them on a cat very often. Well, when did you last see a black nose on a cat? A whole black cat? A whole black nose. Like on a... No, black cats have like a pink nose, don't they? I don't know. Don't they have a black nose? Am I having a sort of a cat nose grey spot? I think my cat's got a pink nose.

My grey cat's got a pink nose. Let me look in a photo. Black cats have black noses. No, my cat's got a black nose. What are you talking about? My cat's got a black nose. Look. Man, you talk some shit. No, because... No, my cat's got a black nose. What are you talking about? My cat's got a black nose. Look. Man, you talk some shit.

No, because, no, do you know, we had a white cat growing up. And it had a pink nose. It had a pink nose. They get skin cancer. Or a white nose, and it got skin cancer, got eaten away. Yeah. And it just had a hole. It's real.

Ooh, yeah, put it down. What are you doing? Don't do that to the cat. Well, they did it eventually. Mum and Dad didn't want to let it go. Are they those people? Are they those people? It was still fine.

It was just its nose was gone. Wow, arguably. Its nose was gone. All right, here's a happy story. This comes to us from the Otago Flatting Goods page. Shakia, not Shakira. Oh, close. Not too bad.

Shakia, Shakia. Shakia gets that all the time. Oh, yeah, all the time. Oh, yeah. She put on the Otago Flatting Goods page, Henry. Now, Shakia to Henry. Henry's got two R's. Unusual spelling of Henry.

Yeah. Like a cat with a black nose. I've never seen Henry spelt with two R's. Unless Henry's, every Henry's spelt with two R's, and I don't know, had a stroke or something. Henry, two R's. Mate, we've got your delivery easy order. I've never heard of delivery easy, but I've looked it up.

It's like Uber Eats. Oh yeah. Restaurant sign in and you can deliver it. Yeah right. So they ordered from the same restaurant and Shakia has been

delivered a hot pot but Shakia wanted dumplings. Oh no. And Shakia says we've got your delivery order easy I just wanted dumplings. Well Hayley tags in

Henry to ours to when Henry said oh my god yeah I just got dumplings I didn't know what I was going to ours. To when Henry said, oh my god, yeah, I just got dumplings. I didn't know what I was going to do. I just want my hot pot. Henry then says, I haven't eaten your dumplings. Do you live near, insert street here.

And Shakia says, I haven't eaten your hot pot either. And I do live on this street. To which Henry then says, Shakia, I'm driving there now. Can you stand outside your flat, please, with my hot pot? And she says, sure, bring the dumplings. Sexy.

I know, it does sound sexy at this stage. It sounds like it could be the start of a romantic movie. I know. She's like, don't take your hot pot home. Come and eat your hot pot at my house. Yeah. And he's like, okay. So anyway, the next photo,

and I can't confirm or deny whether or not there was a romantic relationship established, but the next photo is a very happy Shakia with her dumplings. Oh, that's nice. Saying success. Success. I mean, not great advertising for delivery, is it?

I'm just like... Yeah. Maybe that was their ploy. Maybe also there was a switchy changey on the order when the person at the

restaurant put it through. I don't know but damn like the dumplings look legit handmade dumplings. Yeah they do

look good. Those look good. Those aren't some bulk made dumplings that have been put in that little cane basket thing over a pot of

boiling water. Yeah. That's a legit handmade dumpling. Good work. That was then probably cooked in a bamboo basket over a pot of boiling water. Yeah. That's a legit handmade dumpling. Good work. That was then probably cooked in a bamboo basket over a pot of boiling water.

But it's a happy story to end on. Yeah. And if you see anything on your local Facebook page that tickles your fancy community notices wise or maybe there's a romantic relationship blossoming

for the whole nation to see screen cap it and send it to our Facebook page FVMZM on Facebook. FVMZM. I. FVMZM. I want to tell you a story now about the poshest student in Scotland. She is the daughter. We don't know her.

I guess you're trying to keep her identity a bit of a secret. She is the daughter of an Indian billionaire. Well, I'll Google Indian billionaire. And she has, instead of staying in the halls of residence, she's not going to do that. Guys, there's heaps of Indian billionaires. Who'd have guessed with a billion people, there wouldn't have been any billionaires.

Maybe Scottish daughter or daughter Scottish. Okay, so the story you're saying is the main news headlines under the keyword search, Indian billionaires. So she has bought a mansion to live in instead of staying in the halls of residence.

Yuck. Because some rich business men or women would actually make their kids do like slum it, wouldn't they? Just to teach them some appreciation. The self-made millionaires, the people who don't come from old money, tend to, I think, because they've experienced it. But then that's one to say, because then the people who don't come from old money, tend to, I think, because they've experienced it.

But then that's one to say, because then the people who have self-made themselves sometimes are like, well, I had to work hard. My children should have it significantly easier. Isn't that like Richard Branson? Didn't he say his kids get nothing? Or Jamie Oliver, didn't he say? Richard Branson.

Bill Gates is another one. He's like, there won't be much left. But Daddy, you're the richest man in the world. I'm out here trying to cure malaria. Stop being a brat. Yeah. Well, yeah, her family are not the ones, they don't want her to rough it

because they have also hired a bunch of staff to help ease her into uni. So she is going to have a private chef, a chauffeur, so that she can get to lectures on time. And basically there's a few ads going out for a maid as well so she doesn't take up study time

cleaning this mansion. Oh my God. You know what? This is the kind of person you need to be friends with at uni because then when you're out like drinking or whatever, they can get the chauffeur

to pick you up all in front of the clubs. And then you get back and there's like toasted sandwiches made by the chef. And you can sleep in one of the rooms in the mansion. Yeah. So the ad said the person they're looking for, this maid, will be responsible for waking them up, liaising with other staff regarding routine and schedule.

So this is basically like your mum's job. If you lived at home during uni, it's your mum's job split amongst 12 people. Yeah. Assisting with grooming, wardrobe management, and personal shopping. Oh, grooming. Like brushing their hair.

How many friends at uni are you like? No. Not true friends. Not true friends. People that would be after your money and the lifestyle maybe. I didn't know anyone like this at uni. Like, I didn't really, not any real princesses or like. Nah.

You hear stories of people that get like money. Because rich people don't let their kids go to broadcasting school. Quality. They're like, that is not going to end well for anybody and I can't have you dragging the family's name into mucky broadcasting. You're going into law, Sebastian. Yes. Whether you like it or not. But I don't like it. You're going into law, Sebastian. Yes. Whether you like it or not.

But I don't like it. You always heard about those kids, though, that had mum or dad's credit card and could just, you know, or they paid their rent. Like, it's... Yeah. That kind of thing.

And I always hated it because, yeah, I didn't get any money at all. Yeah. Not a cent. I didn't get any allowance. I was lucky. My mum and dad helped me out when I was at uni. I got a little bit of pocket money,

but it just went straight towards rent. Yeah. Like, I just had to go straight towards rent. I didn't get anything. Oh, so Vaughan is basically a princess. I'm the spoiled one. I'm the Indian princess. Okay.

You've always wanted to be an Indian princess, haven't you? I actually have. What about us? Like my father, Azam Premji, us? And it's like my father, Azam Premji, says. And that's an actual Indian billionaire, not just a weird name I made up

because that would be racist. This is an actual man. Yeah. And his friend, Lakshmi Mattel, once said, I don't know what they say. What did they say?

Right. Go forth and be a beautiful princess, Vaughn. What about producers? You all went to broadcasting school as well, so did you know any rich, spoiled brats? I know...

I'm going to be careful. I know of a person... Yeah. ...that is my age... Yeah. ...at 28 that still has access to their parents' credit card. Like, she's got her... Oh, I just said who it was.

She's got her... one of her parents' credit cards. Does she work in radio? No. I was going to say she's needed. She's got friends. She's got one of her parents' credit cards. Does she work in radio? No. I was going to say she's neither. She's a friend of a friend. Does she work in broadcasting? No, she's not narrowing it down anymore.

Yeah, lies. 28, and so she could put anything she wanted on that credit card. But you still get the good stuff. When Mama Jane comes up, she fills up your car, buys you a pair of Federation pants that you're wearing today. I don't like your Federation pants. Well, no, how I know that is Anya said to you, I like your Federation pants

and you said, oh, they're Federation pants. And then we're like, well, how do you know what kind of pants you're wearing? And you said, oh, my mummy bought them for me. Because she likes me to look good. I think it's her way of saying you need better fashion. So she always just buys me a new piece of clothing every time I see it. She's marketing you better.

We've got to get you sold. Got to move some units. I want to take some calls now. When you were studying, or maybe you're studying now, of those friends or people that you knew that had it easy. So maybe they had the big handouts from mum or dad. Maybe they had mum or dad's

credit card. Yeah. Or they had it paid allouts from mum or dad. Maybe they had mum or dad's credit card. Yeah. Well, they had it paid all for them. Are they using that degree now? Probably not. What was that? That felt very like you targeted. No, I just, you know, because we all get real jealous of the richies. Well, they don't need to use the degree because they're rich.

Oh, yeah. So 0800-DARLS-ATM-9696, your uni friends that had it easy. And how, like, posh did it go? We want to hear. Basically, just rag on your rich friends, eh? Well, it's big news in Scotland because a student has bought a mansion and is advertising for some help. She's called Scotland's Poshest Student.

Yeah, she's got some help. She's got a chauffeur, a chef, a mansion to live in while she studies. So, we want to hear from you about your rich friends at uni and those friends that had it easy because, you know, some of us didn't get a single cent and were a little bit jealous. But do you know what's worth more than a credit card? Your parents' unconditional love. What does that buy?

Sometimes. Eternal happiness in a relationship. But your parents can still love you and give you a credit card. Do they really love you? All right. Normally, it's about ragging on other people. But, Ollie, you're going to confess that you yourself have had it good. Yeah.

So, I mean, we weren't rich by any means, but my parents definitely made it easier. So, we live way out west, and they bought us a house a house in Aberdale to live in while we went to uni. And we also had a credit card to buy, like, food, gas and stuff like that. Did you ever put on any, like, booze, Ollie? Nah, I don't drink, so it worked out well for them. Oh, okay. What about lollies? Yeah, the occasional chocolate and stuff like that.

Yeah, good. Okay, but you didn't go crazy with the credit card? Nah, nah. My parents trusted me with their money, so I didn't want to take advantage like that. Yeah, good. Okay, but you didn't go crazy with the credit card? No, no. My parents trusted me with their money, so I didn't want to take advantage of that. Oh, wow. So it was a test. It was a test.

And you passed. I wouldn't pass that test. I would have, yeah, straight to the liquor store probably. And yeah, they'd take the card back after a month. Yeah. You sound very trustworthy. Did you get to keep the house? No, so we actually sold it after about two years.

My brother and I ended up dropping out after about a year because we both hated it. So we sold the house after about two years and made a decent profit when the house prices went up. So it kind of worked out in the end. Good little investment for them. So the parents made money. Yeah, yeah.

All right. Thanks for your call, Ollie. Some text messages in from people. This is my brother. My parents paid for his rent while he studied in Otago and helped him out with his bills while I was working and studying in Christchurch, doing my own thing. Oh, so there's a little bit of animosity there.

Yeah, there is a little bit. But then you get the feeling you've done it yourself. Nah, that doesn't gel when it's your brother or sister. Nah. Like a A stranger maybe. You can say it about a stranger or a friend but when it's your own parents and it's your own siblings no, not the same. You need the cash

equivalent in hand. Rebecca, still getting some help? Well, I'm 25 and I still have my parents field card. Do they know that you have it? Yeah. See, I wouldn't be complaining about that, to be honest. Like, we're ragging all these, you know, rich people that are helping out their kids at uni and stuff,

but I'd be all for a handout. Yeah, well, I moved out of home. I've moved back in home while we build a house, but, yeah, still hit it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're building a house, but you've still got it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're building a house, but you've still got your parents' fuel card. Yeah. I think it's time to give back the fuel card.

If one's building a house in the current market, it's time to give back the fuel card. Don't give it, never give it back. But no, if it's free fuel, would you give it back? I wouldn't. If they're not asking for it, never give it back. No, and the card expires, and then they just give me a new one. Oh, their fault.

Take it. Are you allowed to put on some chippies and some chocolate bars? All the time, I'll put some mandarin in it. Yep. Mandarin? You need lessons. We'll come to the servo with you and show you how to tick some stuff up, Rebecca. Thanks for your call.

No worries. Some text messages in. I went to uni and got put in a group with a girl who constantly wore matching velvet track suits and always had designer handbags. Yeah. We were like, what's going on? Turns out she's Kim.com's missus. Oh, okay.

I roged that. He'd give you a nice car to go to uni to and I reckon. Well, no, that files his missus. It's numberblades.com. I've seen her driving it. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. The big,. I've seen her driving it. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. The big... One of those big ones like the... Do you reckon he'd buy me

a nice four-wheel drive? Well, it depends what you can do for him. To be his best friend. Well, maybe. I'll ask him. A girl I knew was undercover rich. Acted like she was doing it hard at uni. Always had money. One night she got drunk and said that her parents were paying for everything.

She was just trying to like slum it up. Yeah. To like fit in. Yeah. We knew someone. Remember they were like, I'm going flatting. Oh yeah.

And they were like, this sucks. Flatting's like real yuck. You have to like deal with other people. And they didn't have a tennis court, which how am I supposed to practice my tennis? I don't play tennis, but what if I wanted to? Yeah, it's always a good option to have.

My flatmate has her parents do the groceries every week online from New World to... New World! Ooh! On her 21st, they rocked up to the flat with a brand new Mini. Come on! She couldn't drive it. She was too embarrassed because it was too fancy. What? I'll have it.

Oh, yeah. Not too fancy for a New World online shop though, are you? So there you go. It's not just, I mean, the Indian billionaire's daughter is next level with 12 servants but we'll get there. Well, lucky for some, isn't it?

FVM, the podcast. The UK police have put together a list of slang that youth that they might have to deal with in their day-to-day. I always love when someone puts together a list of youth

slang. Yeah, like when they decipher what emojis mean for parents or teen slang for parents. It's pretty funny. So, beef ting farm. I guess you've got to say it in sort of a British accent. Yeah, right, okay. Beef ting farm.

What do you think that means? I have no idea. Like starting an argument. But that's just like, I would have thought beefing, not beef ting. Beef ting sounds like a really yummy. Beef ting. That was Jamaican.

I don't know. Beef ting sounds like a yummy dish. It does, yeah. Yum. What would it be? Rice or noodles. Maybe noodles. Strip beef.

Soy, lots of soy. What else you got in there? I thought like a sausage roll, kind of like a beef wellington. Oh my, what do you think of beef ting? We're always sidetracked by food, aren't we? Yum, yum. It's easy to go there. Ping means good or attractive.

Bruv, I mean, that's easy. How did they describe it? Bruv, brother, sibling or friend. And then there's another one that falls under the brother or associate umbrella. That's blood. Like your blood. Oh, yeah, right. Like blood, B-L-O-O-D, but with a U instead.

Wagwan. Is that your partner? No, it's a greeting. Hello, how are you? Wagwan. Roadman is a teenager who involves themselves in smoking weed, not education, puffer jacket. And they like to act hard while on a push bike.

Okay. Wow, that's specific. Ting is sexual relations, where I always just thought ting was like thing, like that ting of a deer. That might just be Irish. Is it like we're going to do the ting? Yeah, yeah, yeah, day ting. We're going to do the ting.

Feds Popo, that's police. Goat, greatest of all time. I remember finding that out a little while ago. I was pretty stoked. I've passed it on to a few people. Yeah, I think I just told you the other day. Yeah. And I was like, come on, get with it, fam.

FOMO, we all know. Stormzy, they said, this one can be confusing. It's nothing to do with the weather. It's Stormzy the rapper. Oh, it's the rapper, yeah. Yeah.

And a smear down is tell the truth. Right. So what are we going to adopt? What words are we going to adopt? I like smear down. Smear down. Yeah.

Smear down. Like, tell the truth. Why are we all doing it and you're making accents? Smear Down. Smear Down. Yeah. Smear Down. Like, tell the truth. Why are we all doing it in Jamaican accents? Smear Down. That's the ones that are always on the movies with the British street kids. They're always speaking like the Jamaicans off Grand Theft Auto. That's the only reason I know

half those words, they were on Grand Theft Auto. I got sent one the other day for like this was for parents worried about their teenagers online. Words they might see their teenagers using online. Yeah. And this is like, fun and harmless. These are the different terms to keep an eye on.

Yeah. But then there was warning flags. Okay. So thirsty. That's if you see them saying how they're thirsty. They're not, they don't need a drink of water. No, they don't. Down in the DMs.

Yeah. That can mean short for plans that are made in private and direct messaging on social media. Oh, no. That'll scare some mums. Often incoming sexual hookups. Okay. Smash to have casual sex.

Yeah. Nine means a parent is watching. That's been a revage. That was six back in the day. That was six. Netflix and chill is another warning flag. Okay. To meet under the pretense of watching Netflix together

and actually plan for making out or sexual intercourse. I love the explanations. They're the best. Here's an acronym that you should keep an eye out for. This is under the warning flags. NYFOC, which is N-I-F-O-C. And that's an acronym for naked in front of the computer. Okay.

Interesting. Interesting time for a sip. C-U for sex. C-U for six is another acronym and it literally means C-U for sex Yeah CU for six Is another acronym And it literally means CU for sex Oh yeah

And GNOC Is an acronym For get naked on cam So all of these things To be wary of Very Yeah

I can imagine A mum reading this And being like My goodness me My favourite is Skrt And people are like Skrt And it means To get out of there Because it's the noise Imagine a mum reading this and being like, my goodness me. My favourite is skirt. And people are like, skirt.

And it means to get out of there. Because there's the noise of a car taking off quick, right? But they've spelled it S-K-U-R-T. Skirt. The explanations are so cute. But like we know what they are. But then actually when you've got to try and break it down to like your mum or dad, it's really hard. Like I tried explaining Snapchat to my dad

and he was like, so why do you do this? I was like, I don't know. They can't accept that you're doing something for no reason. They grew up in a time where everything was quite purposeful. They didn't have time to just put a dog ears

and a licky tongue on their face for fun. Yeah. Why do you do this? I don't know. Because I look like a cute dog? Do I need a reason? Do I need a reason to look cute? I don't think so. There's a story out that says leftovers, eating leftovers is bad for you.

Now, let me explain. Because, like, eating leftovers is cutting down on food waste, so it's good for the environment. I thought we were all about that. Yeah. Yeah. Is it because I never warm them up? thought we were all about that. Yeah. Yeah. Is it because I never warm them up? Do you not?

Saturday is always like, warm it up. I'm like, uh-uh. Eat it cold. Like yesterday, lasagna. I had this big bit of lasagna cold. So good. I'm down for lasagna cold. But some things you have to heat up.

Like would you have a stir fry? Would you heat up a stir fry? You have to heat up a stir fry. I've never really had the situation of leftover stir fry. Because I'm always like, well, if there's some left, I'll just finish it now because it's good for you at stir fry. Okay. Right.

Because also heating up stuff can be bad if you don't heat it up enough. Hot enough, yeah. Yeah, and then you might get some bugs. Especially rice. You've got to heat up that rice. Oh, see, no, I wouldn't. I'd just get new rice. Yeah.

Okay. Don't tango with the rice. So the idea that eating leftovers is bad because some people, so if you get a big plate of food and you're like, that's a big plate, I'm only going to eat half of it, that's fine. But people are rewarding themselves. So you eat half of it and then later on you're like, I'm a little bit hungry.

I only ate half my dinner. So I'm allowed these chippies. Oh, right. I'm a little bit hungry. I only ate half my dinner, so I'm allowed these chippies. Oh, right, okay. I'm allowed some chocolate. Or if you're trying to do like a healthy gym routine or, you know, keep fit, if you're only eating half of the food and you're saving leftovers,

you're thinking, well, I underate, so I don't need to go to the gym. I didn't eat as much as I should have, so I don't need to exercise today. Right. Even though the plate that you were eating was enough and what you probably should have been eating. Well, that's what they're also saying.

So portion sizes are growing. So sometimes even if you make a plate of food and you're like, I'm only going to eat half of it, the half that you ate may still be bigger than what you should be eating anyway. Your portion size may still be bigger, but in your mind, you only ate half of it. It's like in America, the portion size

is there when you go to a restaurant. It's just mind-blowing how much food they give you. New Zealand restaurants aren't that bad. Some places you're going to get a huge plate. But no, portion controls, that's my biggest issue because I always had a full plate growing up. I feel ripped off if you go to a restaurant and the plate's not full.

Just make the plate smaller. It's a mental thing. I know it is. But yeah, that's my biggest. And like eating till you're full. Because they're like, you shouldn't eat till you're full. And it's like, yeah, but. That's how you know to stop. It's like every

good thing in life has a point where you're like, you know, sex. You know when to stop. Something happens. You know when to stop. It's eating. good thing in life Has a point where you're like You know, sex You know when to stop Something happens You know when to stop It's eating You know when to stop You start feeling like Sore in the neck What?

Have you ever eaten so much You've got a sore neck? No It's a great accomplishment of mine I can say it's happened Half a dozen times in my life A sore neck? We went to an all-you-can-eat

Ribs place once And when I left I had like a pinch Like my neck and shoulder Were really sore. Is that because you hunched over ribs all night? No, it's just

What are you doing? I don't know. I ate too much at a friend's wedding. I ate so much I had to go home for a spew and I had a sore neck.

Wasn't that when you had to ring your mum to pick you up? Yeah, she thought I was drunk but I'd just eaten too much. I do have a problem. I don't really like it because food's yum yeah

yeah that's what being addicted to drugs is like like I know it's not good but I just don't but ribs yeah yeah

ribs oh man you've got to be the first one to admit you've got a problem like ribs and you just go and you suck it up and then you're like

bang in the ear and you look at it you're like that's a huge plate of ribs but you just go and you suck it up and then you're like bang and then you chew it. And you look at it and you're like that's a huge plate of ribs but half of that's bone. And I'm not eating the bone. How many of them am I really eating? Exactly.

Help yourself. Have some bread. So would you ever have leftover ribs? God no. That's actually that's the 11th commandment. Thou shalt not leave ribs.

I took dad to Pink. He's a really massive Pink fan if you didn't already know that and we went last night in his pink t-shirt. Now we had this specially screen printed. Correct, yes we did. Yes you did and he actually loved it. Like if you thought he was just putting

it on and saying he liked it just in front of you, he wasn't. He loved it. So, if you thought he was just putting it on and saying he liked it just in front of you, he wasn't. He loved it. So he put it on when we left the house last night, but he put a jacket over top because it was cold. Yeah. But we actually ended up parking quite far away from Spark Arena, so we had to do the walk there.

So he had his jacket on. Now, as soon as he saw that we were in the vicinity of Spark Arena, he said to me, righto, I'm going to take my jacket off. I've got to get maximum time with my T-shirt on. He's like, can't have anyone seeing me with my jacket on. I know.

They'll think I'm embarrassed. They will. So we're still outside. It's still cold. But as soon as he started seeing people and we were in the vicinity, he took his jacket off so that everyone could see his T-shirt.

Good. Now, we went into Vector. He got some stick from the security guard, which he loved. Spark Arena, thank you, Megan. Did I say Vector? Yes. Sorry, Spark Arena.

They paid a lot of money. So the security guard gave him a bit of crap and he loved it. Yeah. Then we went, now I was wearing heels and we'd already walked so far. I was like, can we go to our seats, please?

Like, I just want to sit down. Dad said, let's just wait a bit longer in the foyer. He's like, I want everyone to see my shirt. Fair enough. I mean, we did pay a lot of money for that shirt, so I'm pleased. I'm glad he got his money worth. We're standing there and he's like, I don't know if you've got many listeners because not many people are saying anything to me.

He's like, oh no, she listens to ZM, she gave me a wee smile. So he's standing there, he's literally waiting for someone to talk to him, to mention his shirt. And so these lovely group of ladies like, bless them if they're listening, they humoured him and

they said, look, we love your shirt. And that's when dad stood there honestly for about 10 to 15 minutes telling them about pink and about the shirt. I was like, okay, mate. I was like, seriously, let's go sit down. Let's go get our seat. And there was a DJ playing to warm everyone up. And Dad said, this guy's really great at getting everyone excited, isn't he? Really great.

And how he mixes two songs together. Oh, that's good stuff. He's like, this is really great. And he's tapping his foot. And that's when two people came up and asked Dad if they could get a photo with him. And again, bless your hearts, because you just made his night. He's like, well, that's two photos. I wonder if we'll get more after the show.

So at this point, Pink hadn't even started and he's having like the time of his life. Oh my God. And for anyone who's been to see the show, Pink starts in like this. She starts in the air. She's kind of suspended in this like trapeze-y situation. And his face, he just looked at me with his eyes wide open,

his mouth open, and shook his head. And was like, here we go. Even though he's watched all the YouTube clips, he's still seeing it with his own eyes in person. Did he cry? Did he get emotional? No, there was no tears. But honestly, his eyes were wide the whole show.

And then once we left, he's like, I just don't know how she manages to sing when she's being flung about like that. And he said, I wish we could have gone to Dunedin because it was a bigger stadium

so she would have been flung around even more. The best part was when we got home, it was really late and I was like, okay, need to go to sleep because I've got to get up

early in the morning. All I can hear in the room beside me is dad giving mum a hug. Whoa! No, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

Megan, family show. Whoa. Megan. Whoa. There's no comma there. A full play-by-play of what happened from when we got to Spark Arena. Right. All right.

Okay. A full debrief on everything Pink sung, everything she did. of what happened from when we got to Sparkarina. Right, oh right, okay. A full debrief on everything Pink sung, everything she did. Was she just like, shut up, go to sleep? I was. But I think he totally gave it a 10 out of 10. He made his year. You know dads make t-shirts last.

My dad's got a t-shirt I gave him in 2002 that he still wears. So that t-shirt will be around forever. I'm at home on the plane today. So if you see him, please say something. About the shirt. Because he's itching for you to say something about it. Ask him how the show was.

Only if you've got time. Yeah, only if you've got a spare half an hour. A guy has had the classic situation where you book a holiday with your partner, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever, and then you break up. So you've still got the holiday and you're like, what do we do with it? Is there a rule like how long you've been going out with someone versus before you book a holiday? Or do you just book it last minute, three weeks out?

Yeah, I wouldn't really think about that because you just assume you're going to be together. What do you mean within the first year of the relationship? No travelling. Well, I don't know that sort of masking. Is there a rule? Oh, no. I've never thought there was a rule.

You've only been together a few months and then you book an international trip. Yeah, you can't book out like Thailand or something. You know, the island's cheap. No. Like a week away. So you've really got to book it like, you book it three or four months out, don't you? If you want the best deal.

Yeah. So this guy was due to go to Japan with his girlfriend. She dumps him. Heartbreak. But he decides to go to Japan anyway, and he takes his dad. So does it say how long they were together? Just that he was heartbroken? Yeah. I don't say how long they were together? Just that he was heartbroken. Yeah.

I don't know how long they'd been together. Enough to book a trip to Japan and think that he's going to be fine. Japan's a serious relationship destination. And also, what airline's letting you just change the name to a man? They might have paid a little bit extra rather than lose out. Maybe a little bit more. Okay. So not only did he have, like, you know, a nice time away with his dad and, you know, dad obviously helped him through the breakup,

but while he was there, he decided to get dad to help him film a music video. What, to help him get through the breakup? Yeah. Of an original song? No, it's an ABBA song. Oh. I've got a little, not a bad singer. No, I love Ebba.

This is it. One more look and I forget everything. Whoa, whoa, mama mia. So what's he doing in the video? So at one point he's standing in a river. Yeah. And dad's got some pretty fancy camera tricks. There's like a zoom in, a zoom out.

Oh, that's as far as dads go. That's pretty fancy. Yeah. Jump cuts and stuff. It's pretty cute. And so he's all over Japan with his dad filming this little music video. And he's gone viral now because it's like his breakup song. Yeah.

So I last count 20,000 views, but I'd say it'd be way more than that on YouTube. Now that it's getting picked up in the media, yeah. But it's really cute. So that was his way of getting over his girlfriend breaking up with him. That's a nice therapeutic way of getting over taking a trip with Dad. Better than burning down the house, isn't it? Significantly better than arson, yes. And even the song he chose is not like too ruthless to her or anything.

No. So I'd like to know what you've done to get over an ex. Oh, like a therapeutic. Yeah. A breakup. So once you've broken up, like maybe you were the one that was dumped. What did you do to get over them? Well, they reckon, Megan, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Not if you listen to Dua Lipa. What does she say? If you're under him, you ain't getting over him. I got no other. No, you get another one. You don't get under the same one. Different one, a different one. You get over him.

Different one, okay. Get under that one. And that goes for either. I'm not saying men have to be on top of one another. You give me verse. You do what you want. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Change it up. So you want to hear from people that have maybe done something drastic to get over an ex or just anything? Something creative? Something creative. It doesn't have to be negative. It might be burning down a house. I've always thought I'd find myself in a pottery class. If you broke up with me.

Why? To get over a breakup. Yeah. Why? I mean, that's a really good question. Why wait? Why aren't I in a pottery class already? Exactly.

Get a little wheel. Get a little wheel going. Are you doing the wheel with a partner? No, no, no. It's solo wheel, Megan. Solo wheel. Solo wheel. Because you hear of some people that go drastic and they just quit their job, they sell everything

and they just do their OE or they move overseas. Yeah. They get out of it. Maybe it's always been something they wanted to do and they're like, okay, let's just do it. I can do this now. I'm free. Okay, so how did you get over an ex? 0800 DARS at M 9696 M. We want to know what

you've done to get over an ex. A guy is going viral after he made a music video in Japan with his dad. His dad went on the holiday that they were supposed to go on. Yeah, and it's gone viral. It's the cutest thing. It's very cute. So cute. He's not a bad singer either. No, I didn't think so.

Kind of in a hipster kind of way. Yeah. Yeah, so our text message is in. Yeah, after I got dumped, I took a playwriting class and wrote a short piece about the breakup, and last year in Napier, it was performed. It helped so much. Wow.

It helped so much. And then you can move on. Yeah. Did you get any money off the door sales? I don't know. They didn't go into. It was more about the art then you can move on. Yeah. Did you get any money off the door sales? I don't know. They didn't go into. It was more about the art. I think your first year.

Yeah, the therapy and the art of it all. God, I'm all about the ticket tank, aren't I? Obviously. Somebody else said, I took our combined savings, went on a massive bender and came to a strip club in Bali. They say no idea how I even got to the airport, but I think you've got to... Really?

They're not letting you on a plane if you're that drunk. Yeah, and that's a long flight. And also, did the breakup happen because they did that or after? After. Did they come for those combined savings that you just spent? They would have. I would say that they would be legally entitled to half of those combined savings too.

My ex-partner burnt the things I bought throughout our relationship, including a framed photo, decorative letters of our names and shirts, etc. And filmed it and put it on YouTube and Facebook after he blocked me. It didn't work well because he called me to let me know he still loved me. I was like, but you've burnt all the stuff. I never saw that video on YouTube. I showed you true colours once I was out there. Yeah.

I've been taking a trip every month to get over the eight-year marriage. Anywhere I damn well want to. Good on you. Yeah. Good stuff. What's the different people doing? Okay. Let's take some calls.

Tony, how did you get over an ex? What did you do? Hi. Hi. I sold my car, gave up my job and I thought, screw it, and I went down

to South Island with my old man. Yeah. Then I went to a friend's drive-thru and I just pissed it up for about eight months. Yeah,

I had a friend that worked there as a guide and that is a party town, eh? Really? That is less every night of the week

as debaucherous. Really, a friend's drive-thru? Yep, less every night of the week as the fortress. Really? In Ferns Jones? Yep. As every night, because it's just every night it's a whole new bunch of tourists. Who knew? The e-buses, man, they were like, it's epic. Yeah.

I've heard the stories and it blew my mind. I had no idea. Because in my mind it was like old people are like walking. Well, there's a few of those, but it's mostly just like backpackers and stuff, eh? Yeah. Yeah. What you hear is the truth.

Yeah. Okay. I know. Tony, thanks for your call. Tane, what did you do to get over an ex? Yeah, so she broke up with me, and so I got on the phone and called my St. John division leader at the time. Right.

Who lived in Wellington. I lived in Christchurch at this point. Yeah. And he offered me a job. So I took it, and then about four hours later, I was on a flight in Wellington. I lived in Christchurch at this point. Yeah. And he offered me a job. So I took it and then about four hours later I was on a flight to Wellington. You don't mess around, do you?

Just move town. Nah, get it done. But that's the thing. You move town and then you have to, I guess you've got a whole new life. Gotta meet a whole new

bunch of people. Yeah, and so it kind of takes you. My best mate actually lived up there at the time so he finished work at 11pm. I flew in at about 7pm,

so I went and waited outside his work. He didn't even know I was there, and then we linked up and went on to town. Right, and you never regretted, like, that rash decision? Nah, not at all. Oh, good on you. Hey, you only look back and regret your don'ts, not your dids.

Your don'ts. Your don'ts. Unless you did murder, because then you should probably look back and be like, I regret that did. Thanks, you cool tarnator. Lisa, what then you should probably look back and be like, I regret that did. Ah, thanks you, Cortana. Lisa, what did you do to get over an ex? I went to Kmart and brought all the stuff that I liked from my house

after my marriage of 12 years broke up. Good girl. So you just wanted to make sure you had everything that had taken. I wanted my house to reflect me, not us. Yeah. Yeah, nothing says you like Kmart. And was your partner supportive of your Kmart shopping when you were together?

He was very fussy about things he didn't like versus the things that I liked. Okay. Right. See, I think that's the key to a healthy marriage when you just let her get whatever she wants from Kmart. Well, no. That would be healthy on her part,

but not healthy on the wallet or my health. Yeah, but look what happens when you tell them not to do it. They leave you. They leave you. They leave you and then go anyway. But it was quite therapeutic, Lisa. It was, absolutely, and now I love my house. Perfect.

There you go. Is there a new man in the house? Part-time, yes. Does he like the copper wire baskets? He just doesn't really look. Okay. He's preoccupied. He's not there to look at my decor.

Lisa, thanks for your call. Lots of text messages coming in about people who have hit the gym, lost a lot of weight, got in shape. Revenge pod. Yeah, the revenge pod. Somebody said, so after my breakup, I ended up gymming, got in really good shape and had my first menage a trois, which is a French pastry.

Yum. With chocolate and custard in it. And it's real yum. And I've heard they're really yum. I've never had one of those French pastries. For those who can't decide between chocolate and custard, they're both. I know. A bit of everything there for everybody.

They sound delicious. Yeah, I mean, one would argue you either like the chocolate or the custard better, but you don't say it during eating the pastry. Right, okay. Especially if you bought the chocolate into the French pastry. You certainly wouldn't spend too much time complimenting the custard.

So you just enjoy everything. Chocolate is your number one. Yeah, you got it. Just try the custard. I'm lost in this analogy and now I just want a pastry. I know, how good would a menage a 12 be right now? Or just a croissant.

I'd be happy with a croissant, actually. Just a bit of ham and cheese in the croissant. I'm actually talking about croissants now. Yeah. Somebody else said, I broke up with my ex. He was 36, so I started dating a 19-year-old model and had a few fantastic trips overseas and was more than happy to share those photos online

of a hot model I could be. I bet you were. Yeah, that's good stuff. And then, you know, at the other end of the things, without the French pastries or the hot models, people just finding art a wonderful release. I'm just not that creative. I look at people that can, like, paint and stuff. I'm just not that creative. I look at people that can paint and stuff.

I'm so jealous. You can paint. Just put the paint to the canvas and you're away. The thing is when you grow up, Megan, you don't have that adult to put it on the fridge and say it's good because they're not going to lie to you, are they? No, they won't. When you're an adult.

Vaughn will put it on his fridge. I'll put it on my fridge. There's not a lot of room on the fridge. It can go in my garage. Right. I've got a banana box full of all the girls' art. Right, okay. I'll chuck it in the banana box.

Okay, thank you. You get your own banana box. There's Indy's banana box, August's banana box, and Fletch's banana box. And will you tell me it's great? Oh, yeah, it's in the banana box, baby. So good. Junk doesn't go in the banana box. Only great art. Only great art goes in the banana box.

Never to be seen again. Oh, no, it was cherished and archived for future generations to enjoy. Okay, that's what you say. Fact of the day, day that it was today, New Zealand time, 17 years ago that the World Trade Center was attacked. Yep. September 11th. We've been seeing a lot of American celebrities sharing photos of the Twin Towers

and what New York's skyline used to look like. And, you know, people lost family and friends and everything. So seeing a bit more of that today because it's now September 11 in American time. Today's fact of the day is there is a United States Navy warship that is called the USS New York that has steel in it salvaged from the World Trade Center. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So this was one of the ones built to fight the war on terror. Okay. And when it was being constructed, they wanted to make sure that some of the steel involved in the ship construction was that from the World Trade Center. Right. So they melted it down and added it to the construction process.

So there's a symbolic amount of recycled steel in the making of this warship. Right. This is also a warship. I didn't know this, but there's rules to naming warships. And you can't name a warship a submarine. Sorry, you can't name a warship after a state. Submarines get named after states. And because New York is a city, but also New York is a submarine. Sorry, you can't name a warship after a state. Submarines get named after states.

And because New York is a city, but also New York is a state, they made a special allowance for a warship to be named after a state, not a submarine. So what are warships usually named after? A range of things, people and places, et cetera. More often, not states, but maybe major cities because they announced

the sister ships being built for this. Yeah. And they are Arlington and Somerset. And that is because that's where the other two planes came down.

Right. Arlington was the one that crashed into the Pentagon. Yeah. And in Somerset, that was Flight 93 that crashed into the field. Field. Yeah. Right. Okay. In Somerset that was flight 93 that crashed into the

field. In Somerset County in Pennsylvania. So there's three warships out there named after the three places where those planes went down on that fateful day. And President Trump has visited today, got out of the plane and did a big double fist pump.

Everyone's like, dude, it's 9-11. This is a memorial service. It's like, dude, it's 9-11. This is a memorial service. It's a memorial year, not for your shenanigans, but you know. And he told the crowd they were very attractive.

Yes, good looking crowd. Come on, man. Mate. Oh, God. Another day. Another eye roll. Yeah, another day, another day.

That's a beautiful way of putting it. So today's fact of the day is there is a US warship and used in its construction is steel from the World Trade Centre. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Beans, beans, a magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.

Toot. The more you toot, the better you feel. So let's have baked beans for every meal. They said once upon a time in ancient Rome. I didn't know the rest of that. Yeah. So science has looked further into the mysterious fart. And see, that's funny.

Regardless. I'm bony, so I don't have much sleep. Nothing beats a well-timed fart when it comes to humour. Yeah. So you shouldn't, basically the short message, you shouldn't hold it in. But sometimes if you round people, you have to. So if you hold in one because you think it's going to be big,

it's only going to come back bigger. Oh, really? Because more gas builds up. Yeah, it's only going to come back bigger. Oh, really? Because more gas builds up. Yeah, it's like a snowball. It collects more. If you hold in so much, it can actually go backwards. If you can get in and you can absorb it into your blood

stream or absorb the gas and end up breathing it out. This is what science has looked into. Have you ever held in a fatty for so long that you do feel it and your tummy rumbles? It rumbles back up and down? Yeah, yeah, you can feel it going back, feel it explode back through a valve. Like, oh, yow.

Because normally I'll just let rip. Yeah, me too. Yeah, both of you. But I'm like, I'm in public, I am not going to do a fatty. Yeah, sometimes you can't help it. But yeah, sometimes you might be around people, you might be at a posh meeting or something. Or you might be in an enclosed studio with two other people

so you're like, oh, now's not a good time to fart. No. Because of the lack of draft through here and the lack of open doors. Do you want it going back into us? I don't want to reabsorb it and breathe it out. I don't want it going into me either. Awful. Patero is Māori for fart. I thought I should look that up. Thankorb it and breathe it out. I don't want it going into me either. Awful. Patero is Maori for fart.

I thought I should look that up. Thank you. Patero. Get your patero. Go on. What they just, someone was at uni or something and they're just like, well, let's look into this. Some researchers did and they did sort of like tests

to see how much people fart too. Found this very interesting. Is it like 40 times a day? I think I've read this once. So the average person of men and women averaged the same amount of gas and also the same amount of farts over a day. No, that's not true.

No, these people were on the same diet though. And here I'd say our diet's very wildly. So they averaged eight episodes. That's individual or series of farts. Could you imagine putting that down in your journal, your research journal? Okay, we'd like you to write down every time you fart. They had a hose up their butt.

Did they? You're kidding me. They had a... For the whole day. A catheter. Yeah. Yeah, I know. How much are they paying you to take part in this study?

So the volume varied between 33 to 125 mils of air per fart. Yeah. And in the hours after meals, the intestinal gas released was the most. So did you say only eight a day? Yeah, eight episodes a day. So you might have like... Oh, that's just one fart. That's one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one. Right. Morse code, yeah.

So the average person did 700 mils of gas in 24 hours, but the person in the series that did the most was one and a half litres. Jeez. Serious chat. That's high protein meat and broccoli. Yeah. Serious chat though.'s high protein meat and broccoli. Serious chat though.

How many farts can you do in the morning? Quite a few. More than eight. The morning's definitely my fartiest time. Same. And then I go through a quiet period midday and then late afternoon it'll start up again. Is it your breakfast? I don't know. Maybe.

Maybe it's the exercise in the morning gets it going a little bit earlier than usual as well. Yeah. Because those are, yeah, I'm glad when I go to the gym before work, there's no one else there. Because sometimes you just be frustrating a bit too much doing something and there's a little. But the good thing is everyone has headphones. Yeah. And so you can let rip and it's like. I always monitor the person without the headphones.

There's a couple of people that go towards the end of my session, get a ride early in the morning, and they don't have headphones, so I really have to monitor when they're on the machines around me. Or just do it whenever you do a run on the treadmill. Yeah, yeah. That's the best one. Or a cross trainer. Or if you're going fast.

You're like, goodness me. Yeah. Oh, you're going fast. Yeah. You're like, goodness me. Yeah. Oh, we're mature. Yeah, and there's like a closure on the way through. It feels like one solid movement, doesn't it? FEM. ZM. A guy by the name of Carlos, he attends the University of Calgary,

and he had that thing happen to him where he went out and he met someone by the name of Nicole and got her number. So he obviously felt a connection with Nicole. Okay. He took Nicole and her friend home. So he got her number. When he tried

to call the number, it didn't work. Oh, the classic give them a wrong number. See, that's how I reacted too and I was like she didn't want you to have it. She got a free ride. Have you ever done that? Yeah, you just change the last number. Or like a middle number. Oh, I've done it. Guys have given me a lot

of things and I just give them a fake number. When? When did this happen? Oh, all the time. Ongoing. All the time. Ongoing. They buy me things, gifts. Is this why you won't go back to the gay bar? Various reasons. Is it one of them?

Okay. Various. I think the fact that I'm a married man with two children probably up there now. Yeah. And you've got drinks, Spike. The worst is when someone's like, I'll put your number in my phone. And you're like, don't want them to have it. So you change it.

But then when they try it, they're like, I'll just send you a text now. Does it work? Oh, yeah, because that's real forceful, eh? You're like, oh, yeah, but I you change it. But then when they try it, they're like, I'll just send you a text now. Oh yeah, because that's real forceful. Oh yeah, I'll change it. It must be a delay at one of the telcos ends. It'll come through. Or my phone's out of battery.

As long as they haven't seen you on their phone. So this guy, Carlos, didn't get the hint. She probably didn't want to give him her number. And he, the next day, was like, I don't know guy, Carlos, didn't get the hint. She probably didn't want to give him her number. And he, the next day, was like, well, I don't know her last name, but I really want to get in touch with this girl. So at the University of Calgary,

he decided he would message every Nicole he could find in one mass email. So he said... What, like in their computer system? How many Nicoles go to a uni? No, not only go to, faculty members, staff members, everyone, and plus not only Nicole, he included Nicolettes and Nickies, just in case. Right, just in case. So he said, hi, this is a mass email to all Nicoles.

If you don't fit the subscription, then ignore it. Sort of the modern day Cinderella, really, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, but it's creepy. Is anyone else finding this a bit creepy? A little bit. He said, and if you are the one and just don't want to talk to me that's okay as well. If your name is Nicole and you're from Holland

then text me. I'm Carlos. That's your next clue. Don't jump in Nicole's, look for a Nicole Van Houston or a Nicole Dutch sounding name. Like, okay. That email ended up going to 246 variations of Nicole. Yeah, yeah. Dutch sounding name. Like, okay. That email ended up going to 246 variations of Nicole. Okay.

And he didn't find the one that he was looking for. She definitely would have got it. And she probably used a fake name too. Oh, yeah. She probably did. Fake name, fake number. By now she would have heard about it because they all united the Nicoles at the University of Calgary

and they set up a Facebook page, Nicole from last night. And some of them are friends now. In fact, there was a whole group of them that went out to a pub to celebrate being part of the Nicole. A group of Nicoles. He's like, I'm Chardonnay for Nicole. There's too many Nicoles. So there's multiple group of Nicoles. He's like Chardonnay for Nicole. There's too many Nicoles. So there's like multiple groups of Nicoles

that have met up and are now friends after this email. Right. So unsuccessful in love, but he's managed to... Unite the Nicoles. Yeah. And meanwhile, that other Nicole's just like, oh my God, that creepy guy just did this thing where he emailed everyone.

No, that Rebecca who told him the name was Nicole. How many hints do I have to give you? Yeah. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online.