ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 13 2018

Episode Date: September 11, 2018

It's the day before the FVM tramp! Megan's top 5 arguments from her 250 days of marriage and your health class chats.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, it's only one minute past six and Megan's already been flagged by IT. And I just found what I'm looking for and it's too early.

And I still have to look for that. What is it? It's an actor naked. Nerds have gone viral. Actually, there's a video. Did he mean for this to be released? No, I don't think so. Someone leaked it. Someone's leaked it. Oh, that's not nice. Did he mean for this to be released? No. Someone leaked it. Someone's leaked it.

Oh, that's not nice, is it? Poor dude. It's awful. It's very awful. Right, Kendall Jenner as well has... Some nudes? Now, were these leaked? Well, yes. So this was from a photo shoot, though, and it's supposed to be part of a book that's not set to come out yet. Right. But they've been leaked. So they are meant to be seen.

It feels different, you know? Yeah, right. You kind of got permission to look at these ones. Well, we'll give you some time, Megan, to gather your spite. I need another cup of tea. Good Lord. Or her face. Their face.

It's story time. I've found three news headlines for three interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. Vordermagen, pick one of the following three, please. Nah. Nah. Headline one, flight attendant doesn't bat an eyelid. Headline two, man steals five million to fund hobby.

And headline three, delicate situation for employer. Delicate. Delicate. Like delicate. But delicate. situation for employer. Delicate. Delicate. Like delicate. Like delicate. But delicate. I'm in. Delicate.

You're in. Deli. Because you love a deli meat. Love a story about delis. A delicatessen. Yeah. Is that all? I always like how they say that.

Is there anything else today? Is there anything else? Is there anything else today? Oh, I wasn't going to, but soon as they asked, I have some of that horrendously overpriced egg and celery salad. All right, well, we go to Ohio. Is that it? Are you in agreement, Megan?

Okay. That was very easy today. You just straight into the deli story. Authorities in eastern Ohio say a grocery store employee has been charged with felony theft for helping herself to deli ham. Helping herself to deli ham? Yes. Okay.

Now, the sheriff's deputy told the media that an eight-year employee of the regional grocery chain Giant Eagle was charged stealing approximately $9,200 worth of deli ham over eight years. So they were rocking more than $1,000 of ham a year. Yeah. By my calculation. They are saying she had three to five slices of ham every day.

So every day she'd be like, shave, shave, shave. One for me, ten for the customer. One for me. It sure adds up, shave. One for me, ten for the customer. One for me. It sure adds up, though, if you think about it. Well, yeah, they're saying nearly $10,000 worth of shaved ham. How can you prove that, though? Well, I'm guessing they started filming her or surveilling her. Oh, yeah, okay.

And if over the day she, you know, took two to three and she admitted that, yeah, over every day she's worked here. Man, that sucks. What else was she having a fun time? Authorities also say she sometimes ate salami. Yeah, I was going to say. Those are the good meats. Ham's nice, but there's nicer meats in the deli.

Yeah. Like I always just go for the, I always go for the shaved ham that says on it, made in New Zealand with New Zealand pork products. Oh, yeah. Because remember there was that big thing about the overseas pork? Yeah. You don't know too much about it. So I always go for that one.

But then I cast my eye down and I'm like, if I worked here, I'd be more about, you know, a slice of that. And they have the stuffed olives as well. And the little feta squares. I'd just be like, when no one was looking. And the quarter of a cold cooked chicken. And you need to be able to tell the customers what's good. Like, this salami's yummy.

I just had a piece. Yeah. Oh, this is great. Are you allowed to give out tastes? I don't know. You know, like at ice cream shops, they'll give you a little popsicle stick with some ice cream on it for the taste.

And then they give like two to three slices out a day. That's $10,000 over eight years, isn't it? Yeah, that adds up. Man, you'd be gutted if you had to pay that back. You're like, oh, I was just having a little nibble each day. But then if one slice of ham sells five slices of ham, that's a good business model. Yeah, true.

And you don't have to give them a whole slice. Just give them a slither. Yeah, a small sl, just for a taste. But then who doesn't know what deli ham tastes like? Shaved ham. Oh, I'd like to try some. I don't know what that tastes like. You know what the true madness of the deli is?

Someone buying luncheon in there. Because surely the cheaper way to buy luncheon is in your own chub. Your own chubby chub. We always called it a chub. A ch to buy luncheon is in your own chub. Your own chubby chub. We always called it a chub. A chub of luncheon. Even that sounds weird when your mum's like, get the chubby out of the fridge. She didn't say chubby. She did.

She said, is there anything left of that luncheon chub? Is that finished with your chubby? Little Vaughn? She'd never call a luncheon sandwich a chubby. Right. Chubby for lunch? Yes, please. But the problem, we never had a chubby at home because you'd cut too much off.

Well, that's the thing, you'd cut a thick one. Yeah. At least with the ham, the sliced luncheon, you're only allowed X amount of slices. Well, I remember as a kid trying to do a posh little platter for myself for lunch and you cut a big... Yes. You remember doing platters?

You're like, it's time to class up my life. You know, I'm seven now. It's time to start branching out and taking the high road. And you get the plastic cheese and you put it into segments. And you put it into segments. And then you could stack it on top of each other. And then you'd cut yourself a thick bit of the chubby. And then you'd dice it.

So you'd have like squares. Did you get a toothpick to eat it? Yeah. Fancy. And a pickle. Bit of pickle. And then you try a pickled onion. You're like, no, I'd have like squares. Did you get a toothpick to eat it? Yeah. Fancy. And a pickle, bit of pickle. And then you try a pickled onion and you're like,

no, I don't like those. Yuck. FM. Richard Branson is a big name in business. Started his own, started from the ground up, had nothing.

Started Virgin Records and then Virgin Airlines. Yeah. He's flirted with bankruptcy a few times but his current wealth is estimated at 5.1 billion US dollars. So the guy's got a bit of chingo.

And he's building space. He's Necker Island, isn't it? Yeah, it's shaped like a heart, isn't it? And he's building intergalactic space. Yep. Ships or whatever. And he's all about world peace and, you know, human rights. Yeah, he is a pretty, like, chill dude, eh?

And he loves a white open shirt. Huge fan of linen. A massive fan of linen. Couldn't keep a clean myself. No. He's got a sharp sweat. He's got a staff, doesn't it, though? No, it's breathable, that's why.

His staff, just get him a new linen shirt if he spills beetroot on it. Yeah. He should endorse a washing powder or a liquid. A nappy sand. Yeah, probably a nappy sand. He thinks the future of the workforce is flexibility and he is touting the idea of a three-day work week. I like him.

I've always liked him. Me too. I like him even more now. He said flexibility is key and if it's not fun, it's not worth doing. He said flexibility is key, and if it's not fun, it's not worth doing. He said that's the... That's true. He's got great employee relations.

When his staff fill out that feedback form about how the company's going, there's always pretty good feeling towards the company. Yeah. Much higher than the usual. And he said there's got to be flexibility, and with technology the way it is, he doesn't see why people need to come into an office nearly as much as they used to. Oh, but he means like three-day working week. So you're working still on the other days, but maybe not at the office.

But yeah, that working from home. I couldn't do it. It's too hard. You get sidetracked by like everything. Netflix, everything. The food. Yeah, the fridge. Exactly.

Yeah. Like sometimes I'll just be in the middle of work and I'll just be like, oh, I wonder if anything's like magically appeared in my pantry and it hasn't. Or I wonder if I forgot about something. Yeah, in the fridge that I bought. Going to trick myself. So apparently one survey recently,

43% of Americans work remotely at least part of the time and have the ability to work remotely. Hard for us because we need like the studio set up. Yeah, but then we work at home in the afternoons, don't we? Huh? Yep. Do we? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, heaps. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm doing the whole time at home. I'm working real hard. I hadn't thought about that. We did put in a little bit of time in the afternoon. Saves me having to get here at some ungodly hour. The same time as the rest of us.

Yeah, I mean, God bless you all. You're doing, you know, great work, but it's too early. But yeah, I guess so. I guess we could call it. Oh my God, do we remotely work? We do, yeah, we do. Okay, great. Just not the traditional, because you know,

everyone knows someone that's like, I'm working from home, but they're not. They're not, no. They're at the beach. Can we just condense our all into one day? Because you know how we were late just in the morning. The idea with working three days

is you condense a lot too, don't you? Yeah. You might work longer. Some places do the three-day weekends, but you might work from, say, 7.30 to 5.30. Right. Yeah, right. Because it'd be easier if it was like for kids because they'll just watch the same,

I was just thinking for us. Yeah. Because they'll just watch the same episode. My kids have been watching the same episode of the Bloody Wiggles for like ever. And I think it's just brainwashed them now and they're in a trance and they'll just watch the same one over and over.

Yeah. So if you did like a kids radio station, like a little kids one. Yeah. You could just do one show. Yeah. And just repeat it every a kids radio station, like a little kids one, you could just do one show and just repeat it every day of the week. And they wouldn't care because they're into it.

You know, there's that book Moo Moo Tipping Point Cheese Guy Malcolm Gladwell. So Sesame Street worked out that the kids actually enjoyed the episode more and if you've got a kid, you'll get this with movies. The first time you take them to the movies, and they'll struggle to sit through the movie,

and they're kind of like, can we go? And you're like, well, no, actually, because I'm loving it now. But then they'll watch that movie the second time. They'll be a bit more into it. Third time, more into it. By like the fifth or sixth viewing, they'll sit and just glued to the entire thing. Right.

And the Sesame Street worked out that formula back in the day. So do you reckon there's anything? I'm just glued to the entire thing. Right. And the Sesame Street worked out that formula back in the day. So do you reckon there's anything I'm just trying to get us a work week. Right. Two days at the most.

I mean the work week's not too bad as it is Vaughan. Could be better. Could always be better. Always give lazy people the job of working out how to do something easier. Because they get it done faster.

Yeah, yeah. We're programmed to try to figure out a way of how to do something easier. Because they get it done faster. Yeah, yeah, we're programmed to try to figure out a way of getting something to work easier. A couple of us had a little whoopsie daisies in a parking building. This happened in Christchurch.

I saw this in the news yesterday because they were in court, weren't they? Yeah. So. Wait a minute. We've all had a. A couple as in.

A couple of people in A couple of people A couple of people Yeah Okay With a hook up Because remember the Christchurch And the window And the hook up

And everyone from the bar Was watching No no no No Okay no I want to hear Was it in a parking building No no no What I'm saying is

They might have been Hooking up in the car And they were In one of those Parking buildings It's not hooking up A pair I should have said Rather than a couple

There's two of them Okay So brother and sister actually So. No, it's not hooking up. A pair, I should have said, rather than a couple. There's two of them. Okay. So brother and sister, actually. So not hooking up, Vaughn. Definitely not hooking up. They were in a parking building, the one on Hereford Street in Christchurch. And they had trouble leaving, it says. So while they were trying to leave, the barrier stayed down.

Now, you've got to like pay, right? Were they not paying or? But mate, I don't know. Or did they wait too long and the barrier arm went down? Or maybe it was broken. Or maybe it was broken. Yeah, I thought it's. Maybe it was broken.

I thought the new ones stayed up and they kind of knew when something had passed through. It was like something's going through, something's going through. that thing's not there anymore, it's time to go down. That stops people sneaking through. I still panic. I still panic. I always think I could get through after them. But it comes down real swiftly, eh? And my car, my little MX-5, is only just a little bit too tall to get under the barrier.

Yeah, but I reckon once you've got your bonnet through, you just nudge it up the windscreen. You just get through. You'd be fine. It's like the gate here at work. If it starts going down and I'm leaving work or getting to work, I just floor it. Because A, I don't really care about my car. But B, I hope someone sees it and

thinks, man, that guy's cool. It's like doing a dive roll under a closing door. But it's your car, so it doesn't matter. It's hit my, because it stops, it senses you. Yeah. But I must have just gone through, and it must have just stopped, and the back of the car went, one day.

Just nicked the back of the car. I was like, man, that's hot, that's hot. That's a good play from you. Good stuff. Yeah. So they were having trouble, and they called the parking builder, the call centre. You know, it's like, if you're having trouble,

call this number. So they r having trouble and they called the parking builder, the call centre. You know, it's like, if you're having trouble, call this number. So they rung it. The person on the phone explained, you know, they'd have to wait while they sorted it out. But they were getting frustrated and obviously they'd been there for a while. Yeah. So the brother tried to lift the barrier arm. Yes. Yes.

Vigilante. That never goes well. That didn't. That never goes well. That didn't work. And then they punched the ticket dispenser. Okay. They punched it. Maybe they were trying to. Like physical violence because you know the old saying,

I'll punch your ticket and it's just like cluck. Yeah. But no, he actually physically attacked it. Yeah. Good stuff. And that caused the panel to shatter. So they've done a bit of damage to property. And then they tried to lift the barrier arm again

and they've broken it and thrown it to the ground. Oh, so they got out. They did and then they drove off. They're like, okay, well, we've sorted it now. Unfortunately, those places are full of security cameras. Yeah, and they have accepted that they're going to have to pay damage, intentional damage to property. How much is punching a ticket machine

in a barrier arm? $1,514.75 for the damage caused. See, if I won Lotto, I'd just drive through them. A lot. Yeah, right. I'd have like a... Maybe you'd ruin your car.

Nah, because I'd have like a... A runabout. A Hummer or like a Land Rover or some big old booty military vehicle that just... You'd be going to court every week. Nah, I'd just have like a Hummer or like a Land Rover or some big old booty military vehicle that just... You'd be going to court every week. No, I'd just send them a cheque. What is it, $1,500? I'd send them $2,000.

I'd be like, you're welcome. Buy yourself something nice. This is why you're not rich, because you waste your money on stupid things. I thought about that the other night. If I won Lotto, I'd do stupid things. My friend was trying to parallel park and we were all watching the other night

and they were like, yep, yep, yep, yep, you've got like half a foot. I'd just be like, you've got three foot. Go. Oh, I thought you were saying I'd be like, give me a go and then just be like, bang, crash, bang, crash, bang, crash. And you're right off three cars. You're like, oh, it's all good. I got you guys. I won Powerball

last night. 7 mil. I'll pay. I'll buy you all new cars. That was fun. What a waste of money. You could put that towards something worthwhile. When you're a multi-millionaire, you've got to, you know. Is it bad that you were like, won Powerball and 7 million? I'm like, it's not enough.

In my mind, it's like, 7 mil? No. I was thinking like silly rich. Right, okay. Like what? How much? Like a billionaire. Okay, so if you win 7 million, you're not driving through barrier arms. No, like I'll keep doing what I do.

Okay, right. Driving under them real quick. Okay. Why am I living like someone with 7 million dollars? When I get 7 million dollars, I'm not going to be living like someone who's a billionaire. Okay, I'm driving through barrier arms. Oh, there's another little sticker collectible out with the supermarkets. I've been waiting for another one of these.

Because it's been a while since the Domino's. They were a bloody absolute ripper. I remember you got into your knives as well. The Jamie Oliver. Yeah, the cutlery and the knives. I still use those knives. I stand by bloody good knives. You got the little shop for the girls. They love that. Yeah, my mum wasy and the knives. I still use those knives. I stand by bloody good knives. You got the little shop for the girls.

They love that, don't they? Yeah, my mum was big on the little shop. She got the little shop. The one, oh no, it wasn't stickers so much. It was the little garden after the little shop. That was pretty cool. Because Countdown haven't done, they did like some kind of kidsy one, eh?

Was that the dominoes? I wasn't into that. That was ages ago. They haven't done one for a while. No, it's been a while. They must be due another one. They're doing this new one at my supermarket called Try to Collect Plastic Bags.

You can't. Really? Like super limited edition plastic bags? Super limited edition. Like if you want to choke dolphins, it's real hard now. You've got to buy the bags. Oh.

You've got to pay for the upgrades. It's pay to win. It's pay to win gaming to choke dolphins these days. Yeah. Well, people that aren't choking the dolphins. Is that a metaphor? No one's choking a dolphin. New World have got pods.

Now, you collect the stickers. They sent me one, and I'm in no way obligated to mention it, but I must mention it's fun just because you vacuum, and you know I'm a big fan of vacuum sealing. I bought a vacuum sealing machine where you put the stuff in the bag and you suck all the air out and it seals it. And it works on bags of chips as well. I do not know what you're talking about when you say pods.

So what you get is you get the stickers and you buy, like this container I've got, that I bring my porridge in. Yeah. So that, except there's a little valve on the top and you put a pump on the top and you go pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. Oh, that thing. And it sucks the air out.

Yeah, I was playing with it the other day. And it seals it. A vacuum seals food. So the idea is that your leftovers, you chuck them in the fridge and they'll last longer because you're taking the air out. Yeah. Okay. And how long does it take to collect one of these?

So the pump is four stickers. Yeah. The small one varies from 12 stickers to 18 stickers and 20 bucks is a sticker. Okay. So you know, over the course of it, you might... What? Could I use the pump in other ways, like to blow up balloons? Oh, what?

What? If you could get a good seal around the nipple, I don't see why you couldn't use it as a nipple pump. No, because you'd end up like those people who did that with their lips. You know, you do suction on your lips, you'll end up with a big nipple. Right. But he could afford to have a slight increase in nipple size. Well, New World has now come out and said, guys, those aren't microwavable.

But you put your leftovers in it. To be fair, if you read the thing around it, it does say it's not microwavable. But you can't have a leftover container that's not microwavable. Yeah, you can, because I never microwave leftovers, but I also never microwave in the container you flop it onto a plate. No, not at work. You're not at work.

Yeah, just busy. Yeah, and there's not enough plates in there for everyone to have a plate. At work? Yeah. Well, I don't use a plate, so you can have mine. I feel that's an busy. Yeah, and there's not enough plates in there for everyone to have a plate. At work? Yeah. Well, I don't use a plate, so you can have mine. I feel that's an oversight from NW on that one. Do you really? It's because people are, yeah, chucking them in the microwave and they melt.

God, you finally collect your stickers and you get your container and then you nuke it for a minute and it melts. And ruins your lasagna. I'd be so pissed. And your microwave. Oh, yeah, that too. You have to collect 200 stickers to get a microwave. So they're not microwavable.

They're just like to remind everybody or warn people. I always freak out when I'm putting something in the dishwasher for the first time. I've got to find that little dishwasher symbol. Oh, yeah. And then I would love to know, by the way, if anybody's in the dishwasher game, what the like top drawer only. So what's the difference of the dishwasher? The bottom drawer's not as tall, isn't it?

In my one, the bottom drawer's the one where you stack the tall plates and the top drawer. Not dish drawers. I'm talking like just the dishwasher. It says top rack only. What's the difference? There can't be that much of a difference between a top rack and a bottom rack.

The bottom rack, the elements under there. So they get hotter water? Yeah. No, they get hotter drying. Oh, and the drying. So it'd be the drying that would melt the plastic

if it was too close to the... Isn't that a thing? But does it dry? I'm buying it. Do you know, I only just learned semi-recently that the only water that goes into a dishwasher is cold. It heats its own water.

Yeah, I did too because I rang them up and complained there was no hot tap. There was no hot pipe. You put your pipe in your hot pipe. You give me a cold pipe, but I've got a hot pipe. Only cold water goes in and it heats its own water. Megan, the last dishwasher had two things. It's evolved.

No, you're thinking of a washing machine. No, I'm thinking of a dishwasher. It had two. Yeah, it had two. This is what threw me out. I was like, this is where you ripped me off.

They said it heats its own water because your hot water is not hot enough. I said, yes, but if it's taking in hot water and then heating the hot water,

it would have to heat less. Take heat to heat, yeah. Bingo. And they were like, oh, you'll have to talk to our design team. I was like, put me through.

I've got time, baby. I've got time. This is just the appliance store. I don't care that much. Like, can you leave me alone? Here's the appliance shed. I'm like, I don't care that you're shutting down. Put me through to R&D.

The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Welcome to The Top Six. The Top Six, other things that bring back to schools is The Top Six today. A school in the US is going to bring back paddling. This is physical punishment of children who are misbehaving.

Like smacking. Smacking, yeah, in schools. What does the paddle look like? Is it wood? I imagine it's like a mini cheese board. It is! Or a padded tennis bat. Yeah, a padded tennis bat. Is it padded tennis or padded? Have you seen the movie Days Then Confused? They build paddling bats.

They're just like big flat bits of wood for whacking. But yeah, like you said, like a platter. Like a wooden serving board. Like a lovely oiled remu. Oh my God, no, you wouldn't want to whack someone with a remu. You'd put them through the wall. That's a hard wood. Yeah, hard wood.

Or a soft beech wood. It's paddle tennis or padder. We always call it padder tennis. Yeah, same, padder with T's. Because you're padder. Padder. Padder tennis. Hard wood. On a soft beach wood. It's paddle tennis or padder. We always call it padder tennis. Yeah, same. Padder with T's. Because you're padder. Padder tennis. Padder.

Padder. Padder. Padder tennis. But paddle tennis makes more sense. Yeah. Because you're playing with like a paddle. Yeah, paddle. Okay.

Padder tennis. Can't believe I've learnt that and I haven't been in school for so long. Padder tennis. I always wondered why it was called padder tennis. But I always considered it was because you were just padding it. Okay. Right. Patter tennis. I always wondered why it was called patter tennis, but I always considered it was because you were just patting it. Okay, right. Patting it. So they're going to

bring it back. Parental permission. So you'll get a note home saying, is it alright if we beat the hell out of your kid? And you say, yeah boy,

you get him on and you teach that little shit bag lesson. Yee haw. So if they're bringing that back, here are the top six other things to bring back to schools Number six

Dangerously high playgrounds made of wood Over bark Kids these days are too soft Say people who broke their arms falling off playgrounds Who for some reason want to force that pain and suffering On children like some sort of psycho It's weird I loved the adventure playground because it was tall

But when someone fell off it I was like this is dangerous even as a child Yeah Then they took them down and everyone's like kids will be soft

No kids won't have deformed bones from when they broke their elbows falling off ridiculously high things Yeah Number five is

on the list of the top six other things to bring back to school Bull Rush and the same goes, basically. Oh, you need to harden kids up. I got clothes lined by a kid four years older than me and 20 kgs heavier than me when I was seven. Broke my jaw.

I want that for my kids and I want that for my kids' kids. Because I am, again, a psycho. Plan if you want to, but don't force bullrushing everybody. That shit was crazy. I was so scared because I was so much smaller than everyone else oh yeah well we had some

big units at my school we used to play at my primary school the bull rush area was this thin strip of grass and on one side

was a very tall chain link fence and on the other side was a very short chain link fence and if you got whacked into the short chain link fence

you'd go over and fall down a wall. Now that happened to more than one or two people. People broke arms. Oh wow. Wow. Yeah, it was pretty loose.

Hard though, hard enough. Yeah, but I want my kid to be hurt. Number four on the list of things to bring back to schools and I didn't even know this was happening

but apparently red ink for teachers marking has been banned in some schools because red made people sad. Are you kidding me? You read it in red and you're like, the red's so angry. But Timmy, you're a piece of shit and green is still going to hurt the same, isn't it?

An E in green, Timmy, is still going to hurt as much as an E in red. A green E. Thank goodness it wasn't a red one. Number three on the list of the top six things to bring back to school. Hugs. Hugs have been banned in schools. Did you know that? I remember this being in the news.

Is that for teachers or between students? Between students. Teachers probably shouldn't be hugging the children. Apparently it's to teach kids about the concept of personal space. Right. But hello, of personal space. Right. But hello, hugs not drugs. Yeah. You'll have all those kids that were hooked on hugs back on drugs.

And last time I checked, you don't lose your teeth or get covered in scabs or turn to prostitution to fund your hugs addiction. Yeah, true. Just the drugs one. Just do what I did at school and get friend zoned by every single girl you know. You'll never be short of hugs. Aww. Aww. Oh, you're never be short of hugs. Aww. Aww.

Oh, you're like a brother to me. A brother you kiss? No. Dammit. Dammit. An annoying brother. Yeah.

The funny brother who's annoying. Great. The funny brother who's annoying that you kiss? No. Number two

on the list of the top six things to bring back to school. Schools ban rubber bands. What? Oh, because teachers are getting flicked? Yep. Schools ban them due to absolute tomfoolery. The weird thing about it is I can't even justify why you'd need rubber bands at school.

No, you wouldn't at all. You'd never. What do you even use rubber bands for at home anymore? They might be able to ban those, but I'll just break open a big pen. Also, some schools ban the projectile pens. Yeah. Because apparently people are getting up to tomfoolery, but the good part about it is let the toms do their foolery

because paddling's back and then you can paddle them. Yep. And the number one thing to bring back to schools in today's Top 6, best friends. Bring, best friends. Bring back best friends. I didn't know this either, but apparently some schools have banned the term best friend because it's seen as excluding en masse. Oh.

Oh, yeah, you get into arguments because your best friend changes like week by week. Yeah, yeah, and that's the other thing they said. It's really hard on kids when they're like, they hear you're not my best friend anymore. Yeah. God, and then they're going to grow up and leave school and someone's going to not swipe them on Tinder and it's just going to really kick out some emotions. This is like that time!

So they're saying group of friends is preferred. That's a no f***ing FBM. A couple of Nelsonians have just buggered off back home in the form of Megan's parents and your father had parting shots at Auckland fuel prices, but not the way you'd think.

So, yeah, they filled up my car. Megan, remember yesterday when she was like, when I went to university, I did my own thing. I got a loan and everything. And now she's like, I'm 39. Oh, that's off. My mommy and daddy fell out my core i am like 27. okay somewhere in the middle is my age we don't know we don't know we're guessing we're gonna get her carbon dated but we're just gonna start saving our money because it's quite expensive i was all for cutting you in half and then counting the rings. Rings, yeah.

Like a tree. But you can't put them back on. Bourne said you can't go back together. Well, I asked the doctors to do it when she got her hip done. To carbon date her. Yeah. To count the rings. I think the point is, though, you're a grown woman and you asked your parents.

I didn't ask. I said, no, no, no. You know how you put up a fight? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that fight. But also because we were driving them around and taking them to the airport and stuff. So didn't ask. I said, no, no, no. You know how you put up a fight? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that fight. No, but also because we were driving them around and taking them to the airport and stuff. So, you know.

Who am I to say no? Anyway, moving on from that point, they filled up my car and my dad was like, why is your fuel so cheap here? I did use the Gatsby app to find a good area, but he said their fuel was like $2.35 in Nelson.

So even like where it's deer in Auckland, it's still like a little bit more in Nelson. But that was the big rigmarole like two weeks ago, eh? Is that places around New Zealand were like, why has our fuel gone up so much? And then there was the thought that maybe rather than scaring off the Auckland customers, Auckland would have the majority of the increase,

but the rest would be like passed around. But it's a regional tax. It shouldn't be going at the regions. I know that was the problem. But fuel has also increased in price lately. Right, okay. But shouldn't it be the same, you know, within reason around the country,

unless you have a fuel tax like Auckland? So ours should be more expensive. But then you go to places like Wanaka, it's just getting it there, I think. Yeah, right. Because the truck has to drive it there and there's the transport costs and everything. Well, I've just been reading a story

that Aucklanders have paid more than $13 million in the first month of the new petrol tax. Oh, that's enough. So I was... Fetish train me. Because I... There's 73 days since the start of July, and that's when it came in. Yeah.

So I divided $13 million by 73 days, and even that was $178,000 a day. Just intense. And even then, I was like, oh, my God. But then apparently this was only the first month. Oh, right. So that doesn't even count. This is like a backdated amount. Right.

Yeah. Jeez. Can we stop now, Ben? How much do we have to pay? Because there's still things that need funding. Oh, well, just make it less, though. Like, that's a lot of money. Am I alone?

There's that argument. I'm not arguing, Megan. Apparently it costs like billions of dollars to build roads and stuff. Fletch doesn't have a car, and when he goes to the airport, he just tags along with Caitlin for free. And today I'll be taking him to the airport. So he won't again feel the pinch of it. But again, it's a work trip.

You're already going. I'm just going along. Carbon, reducing your carbon footprint, right? Exactly. It's saving the world. It makes sense. You're welcome. So yeah, that money's been like,

the money raised so far has been spread out and more money to be raised, hopefully, will. It's crazy. Do we get, like, a detailed account of where each of those dollars is going? You want, like, a receipt? Yeah. Imagine how long that receipt would be because, you know, you go to the warehouse and you buy, like, three things and your receipt's, like, two foot long.

Imagine the receipt of what $13 million has been spent on. Do you want your receipt? I'd be like, um... And do we get a fuel tip voucher on the back of that receipt? Yeah, right at the bottom. And some Resene colour pots on the back of it. They'd be bloody Resene colour pots for everybody.

We're going on a hike this weekend. A show hike. Not everybody's coming. You can't call it a show hike if not everyone on the show is there. Well, the majority of people are coming except Megan and newsreader producer Anya, who is

allergic to hiking as you. Did you hear that? You didn't say intern. I'm shook. You said newsreader producer. Intern Anya. That was good. You absolutely don't want to come, Anya. I'm allergic to nature and exercise. Right.

So, no. See, I thought this was a stroll through the bush too. Like, you've informed me today. No, it's multiple days and multiple huts. You said you're going to be walking uphill for hours with that thing on your back. That backpack. This is a backpack. I struggle to lift that off the ground, let alone have it on my back for hours.

We've been, we've been, uh, preparations underway for a couple of weeks. We've had gear lists, haven't we, Vaughn? You've been very thorough. You've been very thorough with your gear listing. Um, and your wife's coming as well. Yep. She's great. Mm-hmm.

Uh, James is coming with his girlfriend. Yep. And Caitlin. You and I are going as a couple. Caitlin's a disaster. She messages the group chat yesterday. She's like, I've got my pack. Do you guys have a separate group chat? Yeah.

The Tramping Association. Yeah. You're not in it. Well, you're not coming. I'd still be in that because it doesn't involve exercise. You don't answer the group chat that's about work. Why would you answer a group chat about chatting? We're waffling on about tramping in this one. It's like 50 messages

and it's all GIFs. Yeah. Quality GIFs as well. So Caitlin messaged the group yesterday and she's like I've got my tramping pack. And I'm like Caitlin, it's a day pack. Like it was literally a backpack. So we had to, luckily our producer Ben, Brian Clint, he's a day pack. Like it was literally a backpack. Yeah. So we had to, luckily, our producer Ben, Brian Clint,

he's into his tramping. So he's got a massive pack. Yeah. And you fill this up. I think this is the same as my pack. Right. Huge. Yeah.

Big backpack pack. Now, very heavy, Caitlin. It's quite heavy. I think it's all my snacks. Yeah. You are quite snacked up. We wanted to go through what you've packed because you might be taking

the odd little odd thing and some heavy... I think... Upon opening the top of the pack, the main thing I need to discuss is the fact that she's taking a bag of baby leaf spinach. Have you popped the air out of that bag? No. Yes, you have. I didn't mean to.

It must have popped in the thing. That's going to go slimy by the time you actually eat it. Yeah, and it's already warm. It needs to be sort of sunny. But I need greens, guys. No, but why didn't you buy this just before we left? Um, oh, I don't know. Also an option.

It's best to keep because this is going to be wilted. Nobody takes spinach camping. You haven't got your blender in there, have you? Because she makes green smoothies for breakfast. Your blender's not in there, is it? No. I was going to put a protein powder shaker in, but then I thought not. There's no power at the hut. You know this.

Yes. I did know this. How do you charge your phone? You take a battery pack or you don't. You don't charge your phone. What about a hair straightener? No. Oh, no. You're being very silly. No, seriously.

No power at night. Like, how do you see anything? You've got a headlamp on. You've got torches. Oh, God. This is awful. I love your head torches. Why are you doing this

to yourself? Caitlin did just ask me where the shower's at the hut where. I was like, no showers. Well, there's a stream not too far from it. That'd be good for a wash.

Or you could have the Vaughan Smith bush bath where I warm up a steel bucket over a fire and then I just say, I'm getting naked and I nakedly bathe myself in the beautiful surrounds of the New Zealand native bush. You've got a sleep mask here. Now, that's essential, but look at this lovely little sequined sleep mask.

It needs to be chic. Chic and glam. Chic and glam. Right. Chic and glam while camping. Chic and glam at the Dockhart. Okay. How much did you spend on pick and mix nuts? So, what I did is I made my own.

Okay. So, I've got cashews, almonds, and milk chocolate pieces. And chocolate fish. And chocolate fish. Oh, yum. You can tell that's a homemade strogan because it's not full of that yuck apricot stuff. Yeah, yeah. Which has a place, but they just overdo it.

Yeah. It's the ratio of chocolate to apricots, way out in your traditional trauma. Now, I'm not exaggerating when I say you have a kg of dried banana chips. Do you need a kg of... Yeah, because they've got sugar in them. And you don't know...

So, one thing that I didn't do, I'll have to get this in Taranaki, but my dad told me I have to put a moro bar in the bottom of my pack and not touch it and it's just for emergencies. And you can eat it when you get out as a celebration of survival. Yes. Or if we get stuck in there for like three weeks, I'm going to live with my moro bar.

You're going to eat the moro bar on the first night. No. And then be hungry for the next No two weeks six days So if I came on this train but I could eat sugar and carbs

Yeah Is that what you're telling me? Because you walk them off up the hill Yeah And spinach Yeah Is it worth it?

I don't know It's not enough for me to do it I don't think Careful there's undies and stuff Yeah I know I just hit the undies I'm going to stop

What's this? Oh that's my makeup bag. You don't need to bring a makeup bag. What are you bringing a makeup bag? No, it's got like plasters and eye cream.

Oh, so the makeup bag's become a first aid kit. What about selfies on the track? Yeah, I've got like a little bit of stuff in there so I can still look chic. You never know

who we're going to meet. There's going to be tourists and stuff. Yeah, there might be hot dogs in the hut. Yeah, there might be hot dudes in the hut. Yeah, there could be hot dudes in the hut. The Germans you're imagining, they're not quite what you're picturing in your mind. No, they wear socks and sandals,

and they're not the hot ones, are they? They're the dirty ones. Okay, well, I'm not coming anymore then. We haven't hit the positives of this tramp yet. What's the positives? Just to hang out with you. We're experiencing this beautiful country that we live in.

Yeah. And all its glory. Oh, look at your photos when you get back. Yeah. FVM, the podcast. There's been a celebrity nude picture leak. Now, it's not what you're thinking.

So these weren't private pictures that aren't meant to be seen. These are from a photo shoot. They were going to be published in a photographer, Russell James' upcoming book called Angels. So the photos that we've seen are nude pictures of Kendall Jenner from this photo shoot. So they were meant to be seen, just not yet.

They have been leaked. Right, so they are leaked, but yeah, we were going to get them. They're editorial shots. Now, there's a few of these. There's one of her. She's completely naked, sprinting on a beach. There's another one of her climbing a tree. There is one of her lying on the back of a horse.

And then there's one of her riding a horse bareback. I don't. It's weird when people are naked on horses. I know, and people love getting naked on horses, don't they? It's like a big photo shoot thing, and I don't. I'm not. It's just something weird about it. Like, you're naked on a horse. Yeah, I'm with you on that one. Weird. It's weird. big photo shoot thing, and I don't, I'm not, it's just something weird about it. Like, you're naked on a horse.

Yeah, I'm with you on that one. Weird. It's weird. Why is it weird? I get that it's arty, and the shots do look kind of, you know, some of those are quite cool, but it's just, I don't know. You guys are so weird about nudity. No, nudity's great.

No, because every time we talk about it, you're all like, oh, that's weird. When it's with animals, it's. Because you're showering your dog and you're, you're all like, oh, that's weird. When it's with animals, it's... Because you're showering your dog and you're naked. It's like, my dog's not touching my genitals.

You shower your dog naked, that's weird as well. So much could go wrong. Yeah. That's not weird. But yeah, I mean, you're not alone.

The internet has gone crazy for these. You hear about people who like go to A&E because they've got a shampoo bottle up their butt and they're like, I fell over in the shower.

Like, you fall over in the shower, you could have to go to A&E and be like, the dog's up there. That's not how that got up there. No one's believing those excuses. No. But yeah, everyone's saying,

look, why is she naked on a horse? There's lots of memes about that. But on the other side of things, Twitter has absolutely trolled her for her body. Twitter's filth. Yeah. It's pretty rank these days.

There's lots of body shaming going on. People saying another Kardashian getting naked, like, get a real job. It's like, well, this is a real job. And she was doing her job during this photo shoot. Yeah, get a real job's funny. It just comes across as a point of pure jealousy that somebody's got a job. They're also hot. They're making crazy amounts of cash.

Worth nearly a billion dollars. Yeah. They're also hot. They're making crazy amounts of cash. Worth nearly a billion dollars. Yeah. Like, come on. So she's absolutely getting body shamed, and a lot of people are drawing comparisons to Noah Centineo. So Noah, he's from that movie that everyone's talking about. The Netflix movie everyone's going on about. So only a few days ago he had some private videos

and pictures. And who was first to Google those this morning, Megan? I believe you were, Fletch. Unsuccessfully though, it took Megan, the absolute online shopping fiend and I'm going to call her

the penis hunter to track those down. Call her the penis hunter to track Lowe's down. Call her the pee hunter, please. The pee hunter. Professional pee hunter. Let's move to the middle and call her the pee hunter. You found them in like 0.56 seconds. But the difference is also like she was in control of it.

She's doing, well, not in total control, but she's chosen to do a modelling shoot in that situation. He sent someone pictures. Now, I'm not sure if they were solicited or unsolicited, but they were leaked against his, you know. He didn't want them to be public and they've been made public. And everyone's celebrating his pictures. Right.

Whereas we should be doing the opposite. I feel like there'll be lots of people celebrating Kendall Jenner's pictures. They're probably just not being too vocal about it because they don't want to get in trouble. Yeah, she's given you permission to. The body shaming blows my mind that she's slim. Like, what were people expecting under the clothes? Like, she's slim. Yeah.

Do you know what I'm most disgusted about the body shaming is people having a go at their tiny nips. Now, as someone with tiny nips and slightly to the side of my body. What would you like to say representing the tiny nip community? The small nip. They're nips. They're still nips. Yes. Aren't they?

They are. They function in the same way. They're the same. I mean, yours are completely pointless. Hers serve a biological purpose. Okay, sure. Yeah, but they're still. Not completely pointless.

Nips, aren't they? Just leave her alone, okay? Yeah. Okay, I get you. Leave Kendall's nips alone. Where are your nips? Because they're smaller. Are they more sensitive per square inch?

I don't know. He doesn't have any other nips to compare them to. I haven't had other nips to be like, oh, yeah, those are less or more. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. We need to run some sort of... No, we don't have any other, I haven't had other nips to be like, oh yeah, those are less or more. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

We need to run some sort of... No, we don't. We don't. Sign to attest on this. We don't. New Zealand, we need to take a look and we need to talk like adults for a moment. Yep. And this includes high school students.

Yep. As the New Zealand sex education is getting no better. It was bad in 2007 when this report was done as the New Zealand sex education is getting no better. It was bad in 2007 when this report was done and it's bad now where the report's been redone. Right. We're not teaching enough. The worrying thing about this is they're talking about sex education in schools.

They've got a picture of condoms amongst stationary to show that it's a part of, you know, essential school learning. Look how dangerously close it is to the compass. Oh, they can't put a hole in it. You can't put a condom near a sharp object. Well, no, they'll learn that. Yeah.

They'll learn to keep those separated by a pencil and a razor at the very least. Yeah. They shouldn't be keeping next to each other. So what are they saying is bad? Like what needs to be done? Because I would have thought nothing's changed. The act itself, not a lot's changed in 10 years, but you think of the social circumstance

and technological situation around sexuality in the past 10 years. Same-sex marriage has become legal in New Zealand. Yeah. So, you know, that does, because I don't remember any aspect of homosexuality being taught at school. And sex ed, no.

Sex ed was straight up normal, you know, as it was coined, normal heterosexuality. Yeah, yeah, true. That's an interesting thing to broach because if you're in school and you're homosexual and you're sitting there and You'd probably have more questions than the heterosexual people in your class.

Yeah. Because they would have picked up on a fair bit of, you know, a fair bit of stuff from other people, maybe older siblings. But if you're, you know, the only gay person you know, as many young youth gay people have found out, you know, there's not that network out there. It could be ultra confusing. So does that need to be taught?

Right. Apparently, according to this education review office that looked into it, Māori and Pacific Islanders are being particularly let down. And the sexual diverse. Yeah. And that encompasses a whole lot of things. And, you know, you just think of how accessible content, without saying the P word, is now compared to 2007.

Because when we were at high school, well, I don't know about actually, I wasn't, but was it even available in the same way that it is now? No. Not like it is now. No, no, no, not like it is now. So what they're saying that they need to teach, like that kind of, it just needs to be reworked from the ground up.

Right, okay. The teaching of it, the way it's taught, what's taught. Yep. Well, I'm all for that. And also more about, I guess, I'm stoked to see you hear about people learning about the responsibility of it. We were never taught about that.

Yeah, that's true. Like the whole, you know, consensual sex vibe of things, the whole, well, we didn't have PIX phones when I went to school, thankfully, because this guy would have been an idiot with it. But, you know, that sort of stuff, once it's out there, is out there forever. And, you know, the whole education of it needs to be kind of brought up. I don't want to take

on the task of writing the curriculum and what needs to be taught because it would be one of those ones you could do the most perfect job in the world but some ultra conservative person's going to be like no, my child's going to live in ignorant bliss and be pregnant at 17 because no one told them that they had to put a condom on. And you don't want online

videos teaching your son or daughter that that's how things are supposed to be. Well, not the online videos I believe you're referring to. Yeah. But that's a real problem. Oh, 100%. The attitude towards it, if that's your only exposure to it. Totally.

But I remember the sex ed at school being, because everyone's all, it's all a bit like, you know, it's all very awkward. Very awkward. It's all buggery. And there's always people making jokes. I'm just kidding. I just didn't mean to use buggery there.

Or, you know, like people are making jokes to lighten the mood. I remember our teacher laughing. But that's okay, isn't it? If you want to like make jokes and lighten the mood, at least we're all talking about it. 100%. It's more important to talk about it. Yeah. So we were wondering this morning,

on our 800 dials at M, where you can text 9696, how awkward was it? How awkward was the birds and the bees chat at school? Everybody had a wooden penis. Yeah, the lady had a... I think ours was... I don't know why I remember this,

but I remember ours being made of a very dark hardwood. No, I think ours was the second mention of our native hardwood. Where did the schools buy those from? I don't know. I got the feeling that had them forever. I was hoping they're recycled. But then you don't want a nail coming out, do you? No, you mean like recycled floorboards?

Yeah, yeah. I reckon they just would have been crafted in the day where there was plenty of native timber to go around. Right, okay. Coley tree aplenty. But I remember Jan should show you and you'd just be like, hee hee hee. It was just awkward though.

I can't remember paying attention because the first few times I tried to put a cone in mine was awful. In real life? Yeah, on myself. We're all getting comfortable. Tell us the story. It was awkward about it. I unrolled the whole thing. on myself. We're all getting comfortable. Tell us the story. It was awkward about it.

I unrolled the whole thing. It's like we just tried to like just stretch it over. Oh no. While some poor young lass is waiting. Were you worried that there wasn't going to be

enough of it? I don't. You were like this surely can't roll over the whole thing. I panicked. Do you tuck the balls in? I can't believe it.

Well, the anticipation's building and you're like. She's like, oh my God, I can't believe this is happening. No, they're not going to fit. Do you tuck the balls in? Is it like a sleeping bag? You know, when you go to a sleeping bag, it's like, do I put it over my shoulders or do I leave my shoulders out? It all depends if it's summer or winter. Does the same apply to the balls in the condom?

Who knows? This is why we need good sex education. 100%. And it needs to be more. We got ours in fourth form and it was like, that is the last we're talking about it.

Or year 10. Yeah. That's the last we talk about it. It's like, but I'm going to, it's going to be like a good five or six years till,

can we have a reminder? Miss, I've still got a question about the balls. No, no more questions about the balls. And then they leave you flowering. The coldy painters didn't have balls. They should have had balls.

I can't remember what ours had. Just a wooden base, I think. Yeah, because it's like saying they don't come into this situation. Ours looked like a paper towel holder. Yeah. They did. Paper towel holder. Maybe that's where they get holder. Yeah. It did. You put the paper towel holder. Maybe that's where they get made.

Same factory. And then they're just like, just make them shorter. Because these are like 15-year-old boys. We don't want them feeling insecure about this. Okay, how awkward was the birds and the bees chat your sex ed at school? 0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. Give us a call. We're talking about how awkward the sex ed was at school.

Apparently in New Zealand we need to do better. I 100% totally believe we do. I think it's vitally important and hearing from people that were given part of the story or none of the story at all and then fell into this

state of unwanted, well not unwanted I guess, unplanned, unexpected pregnancies. Yeah. Over 10 years. I think, you know. Well, they say a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing. And if you're only getting a little bit. I remember it used to be a huge debate,

and it would come up once or twice a year all the time. And I haven't heard it recently, is like condoms being available at school, like vending machines or availability. Is that like not a problem now? school, like vending machines or availability. Is that like not a problem now? Because, you know, did you ever remember that being always in the news? If you put them there, it's only going to encourage them to do it.

Encourage them, yeah. It's like, do you remember what it was like? Yeah. You don't need any encouragement. You're either going to or you're not. Yeah. That's kind of how it rolled. Check that out tonight. But you'd like to, involving Mr. Toyboy, bring up something.

That's actually quite fitting that it's tonight, because it's our 250th day of marriage. Although they do... Is it a story on your marriage? Well, no, it's about his career, but they delve into our argument with the music video, so that's a bit awkward. The whole nation knows about that anyway, Megan.

That actually isn't in my list of five arguments. I feel like everyone knows about that anyway, Megan. That actually isn't in my list of five arguments. I feel like everyone knows about that one, so let's just add that one in there as well. So why have you come up with five arguments? Well, I kind of want you to take a side. Right. It's very presumptuous to assume we're going to go on your side, though. No, I don't presume.

And if you take the opposite side, I'll try and amend my ways. Or of the many arguments you've had, you've chosen five that you believe we're more likely to side if you want. No, I don't presume. And if you take the opposite side, I'll try and amend my ways. Or of the many arguments you've had, you've chosen five that you believe were more likely to side if you want. No. You know, we actually came up with this together which was a terrible idea because he kept coming up with new things that we argue about that I do. Right.

I was like, this isn't great. It's going to end in an argument. So, I want to start with, and this is a real bugger of mine We argue about the toothpaste tube So he squeezes from the top I squeeze from the bottom He squeezes from the top

He's a monster Monster Thank you He's a monster Sade does the same She just haphazardly like grabs it and squeezes it And then she's like toothpaste is empty I'm like no there's lots left in there

This is my second point with this. I said, we can't use a new one until every last drop is out. Yeah. Because he's like, it's time for a new toothpaste. I'm like, there is at least a couple of squeezes left in there. Do you know what Christine does? She cuts the toothpaste open. Does she?

My mum does that with moisturisers. And makes Ian scoop it out with his toothbrush to get every aspect of it out. We're not in the war, Christine. It's not World War II. Toothpaste isn't expensive. I know it is, but I'm all for squeezing. But don't cut it open. I don't know if she cuts it because so much gets caught in the lid.

Have you ever done the put it down on the bench and get your toothbrush and push the toothpaste along? Yeah, daily. Yeah, okay. On the daily. One for me. Or I've got a good strong scissor grip between my two fingers here. I get it between there and I just pull like that.

Oh, you get a good couple of tooth brushes. But like, every time I brush my tooth, I'm like, can you squeeze from the bottom? How does it put you out? It drives me nuts. I brush my teeth in our other bathroom, not the ensuite, because of... In our other bathroom? Well, the ensuite's lovely.

She, yeah, the toothpaste up there is an absolute mess because of the middle squeeze well at least you buy the same toothpaste remember that time I was in a relationship and that we had

toothpaste arguments so I bought the cheap one like the real cheap aim aim no it wasn't aim it was another one it was real budget

I don't know but I because I like the same toothpaste I never variate yeah me too yeah it was a one it was real budjo i don't know but i don't because i like the same toothpaste i never variate yeah me too yeah it was a real you know anyway um the next one i wanted to discuss is eating in bed do you do it do you not do it no not eating bed no oh no absolutely no absolutely not he won't let me do it because i spill crumbs and spill stuff on my zone. Well, what are you eating when I live in a flat with other people?

Chips? Yes, because you don't want to share. What am I not eating in bed? Sometimes I like to eat my dinner or I eat my lunch because it is not there when I eat my lunch. Why do you eat lunch in bed? An invalid eat your lunch at the table or the bench. Or on your lap on the couch watching telly. Yeah, well, I've got it on my lap on my bed watching telly.

No. So then straight afterwards I can put it on the bedside table and have a nap. Oh, God. Okay. No, that's one all. He's like, one for you, one for Toyboy. And when we go to bed at night, he's like, you ate in bed today, didn't you? He knows because he's a bit of broccoli.

Fun police. Who has to empty the shower drain? In our shower, there's one of those catchy things. That should fall on you because you've got

longer hair in it. Oh, he's got hair though. He does have hair. See, I empty it in our house even though I don't do it. I don't contribute anything to the clock. We take turns

cleaning the shower. My argument is if you clean the shower, you do the whole job and you clean the drain. Yeah. He says I have to clean the drain, you do the whole job and you clean the drain. Yeah. He says I have to clean the drain because it's my hair. Because it gets tangled.

And God, does he make a song or dance about it. When he pulls out the hair, he's like, because it's all like tangled. I'm with him on this one. No, take turns. If you clean the shower, you've got to do the whole job. Doesn't exit mould Just melt the hair away Does it I just exit mould everything

I should try that And then walk away Where do you stand on this See I think he's got hair If he was bald I'd let him away with it But he's got like And his hair can get long

It can get quite long I'm gonna change It should be whoever's Cleaning the shower Just does it 2-1 2-1 Nah but there's two left

Okay I'm not allowed to watch Kardashians in the house When he's home No, he just does it. Thank you. 2-1. 2-1. No, but there's two left. Okay. I'm not allowed to watch Kardashians in the house when he's home. No, because I'm with you on that one. Because you've got two TVs, he can go and entertain himself elsewhere. Yeah, I'd be stoked. He says, he's like, I can hear their voices from anywhere in the house. And he's like, there's nothing even happening. And that Kourtney one like drags her.

Vocal fry. house and he's like there's nothing even happening and that courtney one like drags her vocal fry no i'm afraid i'm on you because you've got multiple televisions as well he could go and watch something and laptops you could go on a laptop and a playstation yeah i'll be like oh yeah he's like let's watch something together that we both like nah that's and then you get caught up in watching too many series and when he's not there, you're like, hmm. Yeah. And lastly. So what one was that? What is it now? It's me. It's 3-1 to Megan.

Oh, so you've won. You've won. Thank you. Last one. I leave the dishcloth in the sink to get soggy. Yeah, that's gross. No, you should put it up. Because then he's got to pick it up.

Yeah, you should put it back. I bring it out, but then I drop it in the sink. No, why are you dropping it back in there? You wring it out and you wrap it around the tap to hang and drop. I don't have an argument for this one. It's purely CBF, but honestly, it's the one we argue about the most every day. He's like, you've left the dishwasher and the cloth in the sink. You've won 3-2, but then taking into account the two that he won's basically about you being grubby.

I feel like he, well, he loses in both cases. He's up against it. He misses being grubby. I feel like he... Well, he loses in both cases. His missus is grubby. And his missus is grubby. He's got a grubby missus. That is one of the worst things you've said about me. You're a grubby missus. You leave the dishcloth in the sink.

You eat in bed. Grubby missus pepper doubles. I'm one of those girls that presents themselves well, but then you get in their car and you're like, what? You can't see the bottom of the foot well. It's one of those cars you get in and you're like, what's down there? I'm just going to put my feet on the dashboard.

Don't touch anything. I can't see the accelerator because there's McDonald's everywhere. But I can shove my foot down here. It makes a crunch and a funny smell. And then away we go. I can't see the accelerator because there's McDonald's everywhere. But I can shove my foot down here. Yeah. It makes a crunch and a funny smell and then away we go. Wellington, take a bow. And you know what they say about Wellington? You can't beat it on a good day.

Good day. No. Nice day. I was going to say nice day. No, yeah. It's a good day. You know what they say about Wellington? You can't beat it on a good day.

Bingo. They have been crowned as the Lonely Planet's number one New Zealand destination. Beating Queenstown. Did they go on a good day? They must have gone

on a good day. Maybe they went when that whale was in the harbour. Oh, that would have added a few points. That was whale points. Yeah, I'm all for it.

It's a great city. Love it. Last time I went there only a couple of weeks ago, I had the best time I ever had in Wellington. Well, that's because you were getting free food. No, it's because I wasn't there for work. I actually got to do some

stuff. But that's Wellington. I know you went down for tasting Wellington. Wellington on a plate. I'd eat it straight out of my hands. I don't mind. I've said to Shara, I was like, we've got to go to Wellington for the sole purpose because we love to eat. Of eating.

We have accompanying drinks But all we do is eat Yeah right That's our whole thing We eat a lot We eat five meals a day Right Breakfast

Yeah Brunch, lunch Yep Six meals a day Dinner, supper Breakfast, brunch, lunch Afternoon tea Yep

Dinner, dessert Right Everywhere's got to be different And and we do it for a weekend. You're going to have loads. She's like, I knew I married you for a reason. Yeah. And I was like, it certainly wasn't anything else. But controversial.

Queenstown will be feeling upset. Yeah, well, I mean, that's one and a half. How many times do they need it? What's the criteria for it, though? Well, a whole bunch of stuff's taken into account. They say the fact that it's right in the middle of New Zealand and is easily accessible to both North and South Ireland makes it

very good for travellers who kind of want to land somewhere and decide where they want to go or pass through and enjoy the city life between the two things either side of it. Christchurch didn't make the top 20 places to visit in New Zealand. That's disappointing. Rotorua, Kaikoura and Waitomo Caves bet it.

Oh, okay. Auckland came in at number four. It was second place last year. So Wellington's up there, Queenstown, your usual suspects. And this is pretty massive. Lonely Planet's one of those well-respected outlets. People might not buy the book, but they say that Lonely Planet recommends

Wellington as the city to go to. They might be more likely to choose to base that as their base when they come to New Zealand. Waitomo has the caves, but like... Bugger all else. Yeah, that's what I would say. Go to Christchurch and there's a lot of options

yeah there's black water tubing and stuff there's adventure stuff it's rare there's not a lot of places in the world you can do it right that's the appeal of that

okay that's the appeal of Waitama Caves yeah it's a really rare sort of tourist attraction hey guys we live in such a beautiful country don't we

I'm so proud of all of us Tectonic Plates for choosing to create the geographical features we enjoy. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And tonight, the fact of the day, pub quiz touching down in New Plymouth. Oh, yeah. After the show, we'll be leaving.

And I can't wait to give you guys another tour of my hometown. You know, I always love a hometown tour. Yeah. I love giving them and I love getting them. Megan cannot wait to go to the... What are you going to show us this time? Well, we're going to do a walk along the foreshore. You know, my wife's never been to New Plymouth.

Oh. She's coming. She's never been. We'll take her to the windfall. It's a spiritual homeland. And that's my mother's monger that we'll be seeing. Oh, wow. Seeing, question mark.

We'll know it's there, whether we see it. It will feel its spiritual presence. No, I've looked at the forecast. You'll see it. Okay. Fantastic. You'll see it. Well, tonight at the Good Home, $1,000 to be won for the winning team.

Yeah, good luck to the team. So we'll see you there tonight. Today's fact of the day. It's about morphine. Okay. Morphine. You've been on morphine tonight. Today's fact of the day is about morphine. Okay. Morphine. You've been on morphine, eh? Yeah.

I've never been on morphine. Have you been on morphine for pain? No. I've had one of those buttons. Oh. Wait, so you press the button yourself? Yeah, it has a maximum. Like you can't just go do-do-do-do-do-do the whole time, but yeah.

Because you could literally euthanize yourself. Yeah. So the man that invented it, this is today's fact of the day, morphine is named after the Greek god of sleep, Morpheus. The Greek god of sleep and dreams. Because when he was testing morphine on himself, he found he was quite prone to sleep and dreams slash hallucinations. Did you have hallucinations?

No. Something like Papa when he was on it, in his last days, he was seeing some stuff. Yeah. He confused you with something, didn't he? No, I didn't go see him. I didn't go see him. Yeah. So this is also why Morpheus was called Morpheus on the Matrix.

That's what I was going to say. The Greek god of the Matrix. Because technically they were asleep. Right. And he was like in charge of who was woken up or kept asleep by offering the red pill or the blue pill. Yeah, right. So if you've ever wondered why Morpheus was called Morpheus on the Matrix, there's an actual reason for it. Okay.

And why morphine is called morphine is after the Greek god of sleep, Morpheus. Well, you learn something every day. And Panadol is named after the Greek god of sleep, Morpheus. Well, you learn something every day. And Panadol is named after the Greek god of headaches. And Nurofen is named after the Roman god of period pain. Okay. All things to take on board. But today's fact of the day, Morphine is named after Morpheus. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.