ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 16 2019

Episode Date: September 15, 2019

Wayne and Ray Ray have been working on our Nelson audience, Vaughan needs to stop kissing his chickens and when did you accidentally send a group message?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. So what you're saying is fill up with petrol today, if you can. Yeah. Fill the tank up. It sounds like it. How long have terrorists had drones for? Like shooty drones? Um, I don't, I don't, I'm not up to date with what they order from the JCAR electronics catalogue. I don't know.

I don't know if JCAR electronics are selling terror drones. No, they sell all the bits and pieces. You can make bloody anything from a JCAR pamphlet, can't you? Can you? Oh yeah. Right. A couple of whistle stops and a YouTube tutorial and you've got yourself a drone. Right.

But that was the thing. You'd only have to strap an explosive to a standard drone. Well, I saw when we went to field days. I don't want to drag field days into terrorism. But you can buy, like, massive drones for the farm. Yeah. That have, like, water tanks on them and stuff. Well, you can buy a...

You can buy... I mean, I don't know if any Tom, Dick or Harry can buy it, but you can get a drone with a flamethrower on it to like scorch hard to reach weeds and stuff.

I saw one of those on a picture. Yeah. So that'd be fun. That's scary. Madness. Be like, kids, hold your marshmallows

up in the air. Dad's going to do a flyover. Oh my gosh. And that's why you will never have one. That is something a dad would do too. Holding it on a long stick being like, please be careful, Dad. And I'm like, quick, I've got to do a flyover. Oh my gosh. And that's why you will never have one. That is something a dad would do too. Holding it on a long stick being like,

please be careful, Dad. Quick, I've got to do this before mum gets home. Perfectly toasted children. Every time. We've got the top six coming up. Yeah, we certainly do. Today's top six. A man here in New Zealand, in Auckland, New Zealand,

was being made redundant. He got told he could bring a support person to his redundancy meeting. He hired a children's clown. This is brilliant too because it went worldwide over the weekend, didn't it?

He works in creative advertising and he did this. It goes crazy. Other companies are like, he's creative. Yeah. It companies are like, he's creative. Yeah. It was almost like a CV in itself, wasn't it? It was a masterstroke.

It was brilliant. I mean, if I was employing him, I'd ask why he got made redundant from the last place. It's got to be something quite serious. But he did a clown to a redundancy meeting. So the top six other support people you could take to a redundancy meeting. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, I've got three news headlines

for some stories I've found online. Interesting, quirky, odd news stories. Vaughan and Megan deliberate, decide one headline only. Headline one, police have nothing to go on. Headline two, spirit in the sky. And headline three, Dr. Fake Botox. Dr. Fake Botox, that's someone injecting something bad into people, right? Yes.

You've got the gist of that one. What's injecting into people? What's the juice? Well, you have to find out, won't you? Didn't someone get in trouble for injecting like a concretey you search into people's butts? Yes.

And is it, which one of the islands is it? Is it Vanuatu? Where there is a problem. Vanuatu. It's the island of Vanuatu. I believe it's Vanuatu where they've got a problem with men injecting coconut oil insisted. It's the island of Manawatu. I believe it's Vanuatu where

they've got a problem with men injecting coconut oil into their penis scissors. The pain eye. And they're like, stop doing this. What's that for? I don't know, but I read this online. Papua New Guinea. And Burma? I apologise

to Vanuatuians. Vanuatu wants to be left out of this. It came out, the Google search said, missing Vanuatu. No Vanuatu. Men injecting, so Burmese men are doing it, Papua New Guinea men are doing it. A few other places are doing it.

Is the idea that it makes it, probably makes it bigger? Why Burmese men are pumping their somethings full of coconut oil. Oh, oh, okay. So they think that the oil, they inject it into the penis. They believe it's giving them extra length. Oh, but it's not, is it? No. No.

Because it believes it's a harmless substance that'll stretch it out, and once it's stretched out it will be able to get that big again. Even sometimes they'll rock it in the balls. Now, that's a bad idea.

Yeah. Yeah. Great for cooking though and vegan delicacies like fudge. Yeah, when I was going to say yeah, baking.

Yeah, baking. Maybe even the raw. Yeah. What do you call it? It's not baking if it's raw. It's raw food goodies. Paleo treats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not to go into your body. Art Green loves. And look at that body. He wouldn't do this. I know he wouldn't do it. I mean, I'm only fathoming a guess here, but I wouldn't imagine Art would need it. Okay.

He's a very tall man with a big set of feet. Right. Draw your own conclusions. All right. Matilda always looks happy. I mean, we can always... Moving along. I don't think we can.

Are you stuck now? In a rut there. I hope he doesn't hear about this. Individual. Well, I hope not. Which headline? Police have nothing to go on. I think police is number one.

Sorry to poo-poo on this for you, but is this the stolen golden toilet? It is, Vaughan, it is. Oh, nothing to go on. Yeah. From the castle in Blenheim, but Blenheim in the UK. Yes, correct. It's a gold toilet. Yeah.

Worth like millions and millions of pounds. It's solid gold, right? Yeah. Yeah, the whole toilet lasted a few days installed. Were people actually going in that? No, I think it was an art installation. It was display, yeah. You wouldn't want to rock a standard bit of toilet ducal around there.

No. Oh, God, if it skids all up the gold toilet. So that leaves us Spirit in the Sky or Dr. Fake Botox. Story two. All right, we go now to Russia

where Russian Orthodox priests have thrown holy water from a plane to cure a city of its fornication and drunkenness. Yes. Yes.

Good. That's Yes. Good. As it's rained holy water. Yeah, it has. So they've apparently done this since 2006. And they say in the previous instances they've cured alcoholism. It actually probably just haunts them up more than anything, really.

But they've been doing it for 12 years? Yeah. Yeah. A priest said a man saw their plane fly over and was instantly cured of drunkenness. I don't know how that works. Maybe he got a drop of the holy water on him. I'm unsure.

He was rehydrated. But yeah, there's pictures of them doing this. It's got kind of like a goblet looking thing. And they're just like, tip it out. Oh, so it's literally a cup full. I thought they were like h tip it out bunch of nonsense. I thought they were like hosing it out.

15 gallons. So yeah, I guess they were They go cup at a time. Yeah, they had like a little receptacle, right?

You know when you go to the supermarket and you buy one of those bottles, you're like, I'll use this one day for a civil defence emergency. Yeah,

but you can't have that exposed to light. Well, I didn't know that. You've got to have it in pure darkness. That's got to be kept somewhere dark.

Oh, heck yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, yeah. Well, I didn't know that. You've got to have it in pure darkness. That's got to be kept somewhere dark. Oh, heck yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, yeah. Well, they can't claim it's cured the city if they've been doing it for years and years. Yeah, it's done nothing. Now, what happens if I inject holy water into my penis? Oh, that definitely

makes it bigger. Thank you, Lord. Peace be with you. And also with you. Lift up your... Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

I remember recently hearing that Wagamama had shut down. Now, if you don't know what Wagamama is, and I don't believe there was one in the South Island. Right. But there was one in Auckland. There was multiple in Auckland. And Wellington. And Wellington.

Yep. And if you ever went and saw friends in those areas, someone in your group would probably suggest Wagamama if you were talking about where you were going to eat. Yeah, right. People love noodles. That's a fact. Described here on the internet, Vaughan, on Google,

as a Japanese chain restaurant where steaming rice and noodles are whisked to long communal tables. That was the other thing. It had those long bench seats and you had to like that's always a problem for me. I'm always wearing a skirt. You've got to go in from the end otherwise someone

over from you is going to see your wagamama aren't they? They're going to see your bowl of noodles as it's whisked to the table. That was a problem Because the knees You'd bang it on the table Also

Eh I think I went once I went a couple of times And you'd go And then Next time someone suggests That you'd be like There's actually like

A ton of places That do noodles Like that are really authentic Yeah I don't know I never really Caught the buzz. So when it went out of business,

I was like, no harm, no foul for me. Right. You're like, I still get my noodles in a multitude of places. I'm not a huge noodles guy. No, neither.

I'm a huge noodles guy. I'm a huge noodles guy. But if they're going to be noodles, they're going to be like ridiculously tasty noodles. Maybe in a pho soup. Like rice noodles. Vietnamese.

Yeah. Oh, like you can't beat an Asian soup on a cold day. Yeah. Don't get me wrong, but it's got to have things under the noodles in it. Can't go too heavy on the noodles. So it went out of business. I read yesterday that currently it's total debts

across four restaurants, Newmarket, Newlyn, Sylvia Park and Downtown Wellington, amounted to, and this blew my mind, how a place selling noodles. Yeah. Nearly $5 million debt. $5 million. Have they not been to the supermarket? Noodles are like 80 cents. How?

Do you think that's when people started realising Wagamama were in trouble when their lunch was two-minute noodles or in-demand noodles? Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second. You can see the little corner of the tinfoil thing would have fallen in. Someone was like, oh, I can't even see where it's gone. And then later on it floats to the surface. Yeah. Past the bitter chive.

I mean, it's always sad when businesses go under and people lose jobs. How does it get to five million? When you're one million in debt, you'd be like, hmm. Pull the plug. Yeah. Help. Help. Are we going to get back from this?

Help. And then $2 million. There's a lead up to that, surely. Why be a terrible businessman? You start day one, you've borrowed all the money from the bank to get started, and then you get your thing and you're like, we haven't made our money back yet. It's day two tomorrow and we're as much dead as we are on day one.

And then someone's like, power needs to be paid. You're like, we're now further in debt. Shut the doors. Shut the doors. I'm terrified. I'm terrified. I'm running away. I don't know how you do it, Megan.

Was it your cafe? It's very small. Yeah, I don't know. I would have, if we were in debt at all, at close to $100, I would have been like, pay up an amount, let alone $1 million. Like, that's insane. You've got to risk it for the biscuit,

but not $5 million strudel for the noodle. Yeah, I feel sorry for the people, because there's people who actually work there are owed money as well. Yeah, right. sorry for the people, because there's people who actually work there are owed money as well. Yeah, right. Like the staff, so that sucks. I hope everybody comes out with what they're owed. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Well, cast your minds back to a trip to a big supermarket because Mum wanted to save some money. That big supermarket in the 90s was Big Fresh. It was a massive supermarket. Bigger than any of its day, right? It was the first of the, like, mega markets. Yeah. It was pre-pack and save.

Yeah, right. It was massive, but it had a little Jenny say quack. And then they got bought out by Woolworths slash Countdown. Correct. Back in the day. Yes. Because you'd go to one of these and it would be a Countdown or a Woolworths and you'd be like, this used to be a Countdown. Correct. Back in the day. Yes. Because you'd go to one of these and it would be a Countdown or a Woolworths

and you'd be like, this used to be a Big Fresh. Because there was a lot of space above the shelves for things, for decorations, because that was Big Fresh's bag, baby. You went there and on the walk around the supermarket

it was like a theme park. I remember there were cows and a life raft. They were white water rafting, weren't they? They were white water rafting cows. There was the baker above the bakery part. Yeah, and they'd move. Was he a pig?

You'd push the button. Yeah. And that's the song, and move. And move and talk. God, the staff must have hated that. But some of them would just move all the time. Like the baker was just constantly putting bread into an oven sort of situation. But it's quite cunning from then

because all the kids would be like, Mom, let's go to that supermarket. And they weren't afraid of a free bun. And you could buy hot chips. Hot chips? Yeah. In the supermarket. When you're going around, you just order your hot chips and then they put them in a little brown paper bag. My mum must have given that part

of the supermarket a wide berth. Oh, really? She wouldn't have. Well, yesterday lo and behold, I given that part of the supermarket a wide berth. Oh, really? She wouldn't have. Well, yesterday, lo and behold, I see that some of the animatronic vegetables, produce and other supermarket items are for sale. Oh, okay. A bulk lot is for sale. 11 pieces of New Zealand supermarket history. A banana.

Yeah. A Hutton's luncheon roll. These would be bigger than people, wouldn't they? Oh, yeah. They were massive. They'd be six to eight foot tall. Yeah, yeah.

They'd be six foot tall. Yeah. What else have we got here? We've got cheese, a carrot, mushrooms. Could be a potato. Could be a kiwi fruit.

Is the block of butter there? There was a block of butter. Yeah, the fern leaf butter. That's there. See, I want to say that's a kiwi fruit because avocados weren't a big deal back in the day. Plum jam. There's a lime

milk, which is the worst of the flavoured milks. He's drinking himself. He loves it so much, which is a bit weird. A bit weird and a bit cannibalistic. Yeah. So they are for sale. Okay, how much do they want for them? At the moment, start price $4,500.

That's the result. For 11 bits. Oh, that's cheap. But what are you going to do with 11, 6 to 8 foot? Well, Vaughn's got a big yard, a big backyard. Would Sade let you have a couple of pieces? Oh, no. She would absolutely hate looking out the window

and seeing the creepy-ass fern leaf butter staring in the window at her. That would be great. But that's not to say it shouldn't happen. But then how are you going to... Do they still work? Can you hook them up to move? So these ones were all...

Static. No, they were some of the ones where the moving parts were underneath. Like they were put on. Oh, right. And you'd push it and they'd just go back and side to side. But all the movement was in the thing that they were sat on or bolted to. Right.

They don't look like the animatronic. I can't see any like moving mouths or anything. So you could just put them on a lazy Susan at your backyard. It'd be a bloody huge lazy Susan. It'd be a bloody huge lazy Susan, Megan. It'd be massive. And then there's, comes with it, this higgledy-piggledy pile of limbs and bits and pieces. Oh, miscellaneous. Limbs.

Those yogurts' eyes look a bit possessed. Well, he fell on hard times. Yogurt after he lost his job. At the supermarket. Yeah, he got on the meth pipe pretty badly. So any bids yet? No bids. No bids.

12 questions. 12 questions about them. The cheese is cutting his own head with a knife. That's what, actually these now I can see, these would have haunted

some children's dreams. I think I was just at the age when we started going to the supermarket where I was like, oh, those are funny and the white water rafting cows and things.

Funny, but these could have been quite scary to some children. There's something women do, apparently, that is a sure indication of whether they want to sleep with you if you're going on a date. Okay. This is actually, I don't disagree with this. So a study was done on 292 female university students. They were all straight.

And they were asked how often they wear heels. Now, for this study, they were shown someone who was deemed to be typically quite attractive to the majority of the women. Yeah. And then someone completely the opposite, if you get my drift. Not hot. Yeah.

So a hottie and a naughtie. Right, okay. And they were asked if they would wear heels on either one of the dates. So it has come back and it's revealed that the women who were going on a date with the hottie would wear heels and for the naughty they would wear flats because they didn't want to sleep with them.

And they didn't want to put themselves through that torture of wearing heels. No, because they want to be less attractive. That's the theory behind it. So when women wear heels, that's kind of like them showing female sexual interest, apparently. It's a subtle strategic indicator that they want to be perceived as more attractive and sexually interested. So they've found that if they're going anywhere, if females want to get less attention, they will wear flats. Right.

And if you are interested in whoever you're going to see, you're more likely to wear heels when wearing flats. Oh, what does that say about working with us? Fuel. No, sometimes I wear heels. So sometimes she does wear heels. No, do you know me? It's more like if I've had a busy weekend,

I'm like, CBF, I'm wearing flats today. Or if you've got a busy day where you're going to be running around doing lots of things, you wear flats. Right. Or if you're seeing a hottie, you'll wear heels. Nah. I don't disagree with that, though. But that would just be like presenting yourself,

the heels, surely there'd be other things, right? Right? What do you mean? Like you'd primp and preen yourself more than you. But then why would you go on a date? Well, no, that's the thing. It was just for this test. It was a test, yeah.

I mean, they wouldn't necessarily go on the date at all. Yeah, right. But it's a good indicator if you are on a date and maybe they've been talked into it or maybe, I don't know, if they're wearing flats, it's not a good indication. It's not a good sign. Yeah. Unless they're like tall and they worry about being taller than you. Too tall, yeah, yeah.

And not every female likes to wear heels. But I mean, if I turned up and I was wearing flats, yeah, I wouldn't like you. Again, you're wearing flats now. Yeah. I definitely don't want to sleep with you two. No offence. It's just 100%. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. Today's Top Six is the Top Six support people to take to a redundancy meeting. This happened a little while ago, but a New Zealand man, a photo of his redundancy meeting taking place with a little while ago, but a New Zealand man, a photo of his redundancy meeting taking place with a clown as his support person took off at the end of last week, went everywhere. Yeah, worldwide.

This was reported on all the big news sites. The guy who was being made redundant, he woke up to messages on his phone from everybody and anybody. He was just enjoying a weekend off before he starts his new job. So he's got a new job to go to, which is great.

I love that the ad agency that fired this guy now has to deal with the fact that the whole world sees him as a creative genius and they've let him go. It's so brilliant. It's like,

hey, here's a guy that just got a free viral campaign for nothing, for $200. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've just let him go. That's how much he paid to hire an actual... Because this was one of his mates dressed up as a clown. I read an interview with the clown.

The clown said usually he gets paid that amount of money to do 90 minutes at a kid's party, which he said is hard work. This was 20 minutes. Yeah. To sit there. Yeah. It's so awkward for the clown, though. To why this guy in a redundancy meeting. Yeah. It's so awkward for the clown though.

And listen to why this guy's role was being disestablished. So I didn't know but you can get a support person. Yeah. If you're having

this news delivered to you. Mmm. So I've got I guess to help you out. Yeah. Yeah. I've got the top six support people

to take into a redundancy meeting. Number six. A miniature pony dressed like a human. In a little suit. Yeah. With a little briefcase on its back.

That would be really great, actually. I love that. A little horsey briefcase. A satchel, put it over its neck. Maybe some glasses. They do say support person. That's why it's dressed as a human. That's why it's dressed as a human.

Oh, okay, right. Loophole. Loophole. If you're being made redundant, they can't pull you up on the fact that your support person's a pony. Yeah. That would be ridiculous. Salt in the wound.

Yeah. It would be a harsh blow. Number five on the list of the top six support people to take into a redundancy meeting. If you can hire a clown, why not hire a kids party fairy? They've always got bubbles. So you could be told why you're no longer going to be employed

and she could be blowing bubbles. Every time they say something negative, just blow some bubbles. Or she just throws some glitter up in the room just to lighten the mood slightly on the whole thing. That would be great. And then puts on a song and you'll play musical statues. And they have to because it's your redundancy meeting. Number four on the list of the top six people to take into a redundancy meeting,

a little bit of motivation, take your PT, your personal trainer. Okay, fair enough. They'll have you back. They'll be standing behind you like pat you on the shoulder. Yeah. They're like, don't listen to the negative thoughts. Just come on. Turn up for work anyway.

No, he can't turn up for work. He's been laid off. Don't listen to this guy. That's the negative voice inside your head telling you you can't do another five push-ups. Do it. Give it to me. Give it to me.

And then they've just always got one of those little Bluetooth speakers and they put on that Snoop Dogg song, Sweat. I want to make you sweat. And they're like, let's do this. Just try to spin on the whole redundancy meeting. Number three on the list of the top six support people to take through a redundancy manning. A mannequin dressed as an FBI agent.

Okay. So get into, I don't know, anywhere that's got mannequins and say, can I borrow this? Yeah. And then suit it up, sunglasses, earpiece, and carry it out and plop it in the chair. And then they'll be wondering what's going on. And then you have all of a sudden taken control

of your own redundancy, man. What if it's one of those mannequins without a head? Even better. Even better. I mean, right. Positives. Some ways around that. You could just blow up a balloon and blue tack that to the neck

and then decorate the balloon like a head. No one will notice. Never say never. This is probably why I've never been made redundant. I've got a can't die attitude. You were just like, what if I had no head? And they immediately, solution. That's what they say about Vaughan Smith. He's got a

can't be stopped attitude. He'll find his way out of any sticky situation. It's hard to get rid of. Yeah. What? He won't lay you. Like a wart. You think it's gone and then it sprouts back up. Number two on the list of the top six support people to take into a redundancy meeting. I was just thinking a range of hireable

and maybe not fully licensed Disney princesses. Like the whole lot. Okay. Because you can hire these for kids' parties. So you've got your Anna and your Elsa. There you've got your Moana. You've got your Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella.

There's a huge range. Having all nine behind you, what. There's a huge range. Having all nine behind you, what a statement to make. Yeah. They're like, I don't need you. I've got a gang of Disney princesses. Yeah. We don't need any of this stuff.

You are the Ursula of this situation. I was trying to think of a villain there. Right. A couple of names escaped me. And number one on the list of the top six support people to take into your redundancy meeting, your mum. Now, this could go one of two ways. Your mum could go into bat for you, make them feel

awful about the whole thing, and they end up laying somebody else off and you get the position. Or, this is probably what my mum would do, she sides with them and rags on you for the whole meeting and says things to them like, he's always been useless. He's always been.

God, getting him out of bed for school, what an absolute nightmare. I'm surprised he even had a job in the first place. So just be warned that could go one of two ways. That is today's Top Six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A mother was recently on a girl's trip in Benidorm. Now, I don't know where Benidorm is. She's from the UK.

Okay. But she went to a sex show. Okay. While she was there. Okay. And she wanted to send a message to another group of friends who weren't there. Okay. On their WhatsApp group to show her some of the fun times.

She hadn't been involved. She just attended that she'd seen at this show. I'm surprised you would have allowed your phone out. Yeah, I didn't think. Maybe you're allowed if you're a lady. You're a little bit more lenient on it. Anyway, Samantha, who's 37, she accidentally posted the photo. Rather than posting it to the group of friends that she was like,

check out this fun I'm having, she sent it to a group for the under-7s football team that her son was in. Oh, no. So I'm assuming it was the parents of the under-7s. Like, none of the under-7s. Oh, yeah, no, no under-7s are on WhatsApp. Okay, right. So she sent quite a lively photo to all the parents of the kids

in this under seven football team. She did this at 1.16 a.m. and then immediately went to sleep. She woke up hours later to a series of messages from her husband who said, I don't think you've done this. She woke up hours later to a series of messages from her husband. Who said, I don't think you've done this. To the right group. And he also replied in the WhatsApp group with the under sevens, trying to like diffuse the situation.

Right. He said, we all know you're in Benidorm, Sam, but I don't think these pictures are appropriate for an under sevens football team group. Oh my God. That's the worst. She went to sleep. She can't football team group. Oh, my God. Wrong. That's the worst. She went to sleep. She can't undo the mistake. I know.

No. Well, you can delete in WhatsApp. Yeah. But I tell you, it says that the message has been deleted. And all it does is if I didn't see what you initially deleted, I wants to know even more than ever. Because in Facebook chats now, you can delete messages, but only if the other person hasn't seen them yet. Already seen it.

You can delete it out. Yeah. Yeah, see, I had that happen recently. Someone removed a message, but I'd already seen the preview pop up on my phone. And it says. So I'd read it, and then when I went to open it, it said it had been removed. I was like, oh, eh. Yeah. So, one of the mothers was so offended.

They said, can you please delete these? This is the wrong group. And she said, I'm so sorry. I have deleted the pictures, but given that you've seen them, you'll probably need to delete them as well. Because that's another thing about WhatsApp. It's default setting is to save all the photos you get sent in a WhatsApp. Yeah.

It can save them to your camera roll. Because I've had that before. But before I've even opened up WhatsApp, I've been in my camera roll. I've been like, what's that? What is this photo in here for? Yeah. You need to keep an eye on that.

I knew it could get you in some trouble, couldn't it? Really do. They're a dangerous place, the old group chat. Yeah. Or a bulk message. Especially because if you go into the gallery, you're only a finger slip away from the photo next to it, aren't you?

True, and I don't know, I'm going to have to open up WhatsApp specifically. I think it doesn't ask you if you're sure you want to send that photo, does it? You just click it and you send it. You just click it and click and go. Facebook's the dangerous one because it just brings the gallery up

and they're all there. You just need to click on it once and it's gone. Oh, it's going to happen one day, guys. It's going to happen one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.

Send it. It's gone. It's happening. It's rocketing through. A friend was saying, this isn't in a group chat, but a friend was saying that this chick she knew

accidentally posted something to her Snapchat story and then put her phone down and went to work. Oh my God. And it was meant to be a message, not a story. You can imagine where that's, what that is. That's real risky biz.

I always sit there for a very long time before you, yeah. That's a big risk. Triple check. Always triple check. Yeah. Triple, rocket, rocket, rocket quad check. A quad check. It's very hard to say.

Sounds like someone who was raised in Eastern Europe, a quad check. A quad check. It's very hard to say. It sounds like someone who was raised in Eastern Europe, a quad check. But it's best to do it. Yeah. So we would like to know this morning when you hit the group chat. Yeah. We've talked about when you accidentally, like, you know, when you accidentally message the person that you're bitching about? Yeah.

On a one-on-one situation. But when did you spread it far and wide? When did you group chat something accidentally? Yeah, what did you accidentally send in a group chat? Maybe it was

the wrong group chat because that can easily happen too. You've got so many group chats. I've got so many. There's a no Fletch one, a no Vaughan one.

There's like just a million of them. What the hell? You've got to make sure you're posting on the right one. So many no Megan ones. All right,

I'm going to no Megan one with everybody good one. I'm going to no Megan one with everybody. What? I'm going to no Megan one with my mum and dad. I'm like, hey guys, aren't you glad

there's no Megan in this group? We want to know when you've accidentally sent a message to the group chat. Or the wrong, it was meant for a group chat, but the wrong group chat.

Or maybe it's just something that shouldn't be in the group chat. That's why you've always got to have, every group chat's got to it's just something that shouldn't be in the group chat. That's why you've always got to have, every group chat's got to be named something very differently. Quad check. Quad check.

Quad check. Quad check. Our friend that moved here when the Soviet Union fell in the late 80s. But see, you're saying the group's got to be named differently. Ross Boss is in one of our group chats, and it looks very similar to our normal chat. Yes, because Ross Boss is at the end. Yes.

Because everybody's initials, that's of our group chats, and it looks very similar to our normal chat. Yes, because Ross Boss is at the end. Yes. Because it's everybody's initials. Yes. That's the standard group chat, but then it says everybody's initials plus added Ross Boss, but it's at the end. And see, if we want to bang out Ross Boss, you've really got to check which group you're in. Why don't you just put his initial on the end of it? No, because it always needs to be at the start of it.

It needs to be at the start, I think. We've got to rename that. So it's RFVM. For example, the no Megan is no Megan and then an emoji with the cross. You know, the no. That happens. And then that way we know that you're not in it because we plan your birthday surprises. I know, that's the only reason we have no, you know, excluding each other.

Shauna, what did you accidentally send to the group chat? It was my mum and we were flying over to surprise my brother in London for Christmas and she posted about it in the group chat that had him in it. Mum! That's a big stuff up. Yeah, we were like stressing out, she was calling me, she's like how do I delete it? And then she deleted it, but I could still see it. And I was like, that didn't work. And then we like removed my brother from the group chat. And then we also removed my dad.

And then seeing if he could still see the message. And he could still see it, even though he was removed. So we knew my brother would. And then we deleted the family group chat. And then my mum ended up like ringing my brother would. And then we deleted the family group chat, and then my mum ended up, like, ringing my brother. And the time difference, it was, like, 5 a.m. in the morning for him, and she rang him and was like, Sean accidentally posted your Christmas present on the group chat,

so you have to delete the whole chat. Just don't even go in it. Don't even look in there. And so he did it, and we still got away with surprising him. Oh, wow. There is no way if someone rang me at five in the morning and said delete a group chat and don't read it that I would do that.

There's no way. Because they said it was your present. I'd still laugh. So, yeah, she said that I was, yeah, crying and that I was ruining the present. And so he thought, oh, she must be really sad about it So he listened to mom and deleted it and then yeah, we still managed What you need to do is just flood the group chat with boring stories and so by the time he wakes up

No, we did that too, but we just was like we didn't want to risk it We were like will he go back there was like a hundred messages of us just sending stupid emojis. Oh, no. Brilliant. Shorter, thanks for your call. Anonymous caller one, good morning. What did you send to the group chat accidentally? I was trying to send a message to my best friend at the time

that I was going to break up with my boyfriend. Okay. And little to me, I accidentally sent it to the group chat with my best friend and my boyfriend. And so I guess he knew. Yeah, it was a super awkward conversation. Right. What did he reply with?

He kind of replied with three question marks and I just tried to call him and he just wasn't having a bar of it. Well, with the band-aid off, it was a great way to get the conversation rolling. Exactly, because you're always like, how am I going to do this? When's the right time? You've done it. Yeah. With an audience.

Exactly. Anonymous sexy caller. Another anonymous caller. Good morning. Well, what did you accidentally send to the group chat? So, a little bit of a back story. We had a party a weekend beforehand. One of the girls kind of broke some girl code.

Okay. Well, she broke the girl code. Can we ask what aspect of the girl code she broke? She may have done some funny business with a guy that one of the girls was having. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, that's section 4B. Yeah, section 4B. Of course, following section 4A. Of the girl code having. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, that's section 4B. Yeah, section 4B. Of course, following section 4A.

Of the girl code, yeah. Right, okay. So the boys made another event, which I just screenshot of the photo because I was like, ha-ha, this is so funny. And then it sent it to this massive Snapchat group chat with like 15 people in it forgetting that everyone was invited

on the list apart from her. Oh, so the girl code breaker saw that there was an event that she had not been invited to due to the breaking of the girl code.

Yes, and you can't delete anything on Snapchat because it's like 24 hour thing on it. And you can't remove anyone from Snapchat.

We all tried. We all tried. Well, maybe she should know she's been excluded. This is true. Well, she does now, Megan. Whether she likes it or not. Thanks, you call anonymous?

I have a group chat with my volleyball team, obviously talking about upcoming volleyball tournaments and volleyball-related activities. Biking and seizing. One of the girls accidentally messaged to the chat a naked selfie that she was meant to send to her husband. It didn't go to him. After she sent that through to the group, she

left the group chat. Quad check. Quad check. Quad check. Oh my god. Run a thorough quad check. Did she leave the actual team as well? No. You're leaving the group chat. It's not doing anything, is it? Oh my god. Yeah.

I sent my husband, sister, a best friend and a few other people in a group chat a message just not doing anything, is it? Oh my God. I sent my husband, sister, a best friend and a few other people in a group chat a message just meant for my husband because his name was at the start of the

group chat and so I thought it was him. Looking forward to date night tonight. I can't even read the end of that. Because they get sexual in that

Because that's just very nonchalant. I'm looking forward to date night tonight. No. I'm not. No. It's a bit dicey. Can you metaphor it?

Oh, okay. Not really. You'd be great at charades. Doing charades. Yeah. That would be charades porn. Thanks. It's almost like you've done that before.

And a few times. As I pressed the send on the text, the rest of the people in the conversation came up. And I was like, thankfully they understood and didn't judge me. So that's. I feel like that's better than a picture. Like a picture can't be unseen. No, no, but if it's just a bit of filthy talk. Yeah.

It could be a ha-ha. You'd almost expect that from one of us. Situation. A friend of mine recently became single. He hadn't been single for a very long time. He engaged in a little bit of erotic chat, shall we say, with somebody on Snapchat. He went to send a video of him doing a certain something to himself.

Okay. As per request, put it on his story, and then went to clean himself up. So he left it up for a while. It was up there for a while. Right, okay. He learned the hard way that technology's changed quite a bit since he was last single.

Quad check. Quad check. Fleshforn and Megan, the single. Quad check. Quad check. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. America has a wee outbreak of salmonella and they are warning their citizens not to kiss, snuggle or pet their chickens or let them inside of their house. And I think this is a stark reminder

in New Zealand, timely reminder, that maybe we shouldn't be doing that here either. Now, have you been tagged in this story much? No, I haven't. No, I haven't. I'm surprised. No. Because any goat story you get tagged in because of your goat.

Immediately. I loved the kissing, but I used to cuddle my chickens. Yuck. Why? Because they weren't like Vaughan's manky chickens. They were bantams. Oh, yeah. They're a lot prettier, aren't they? My chickens aren't manky. They were little and cute and fluffy.

And they're real friendly. Like, they come and sit on your knee and you give them a wee cuddle. Oh, you know, my chickens aren't friendly chickens. Like, people let their dogs kiss them and slobber over them. Oh, that's disgusting. But who's kissing a chicken? Well, apparently people do. If my chickens had let me kiss them,

I probably would have kissed them on the cheek. Do they have a cheek? They don't have a cheek. No, the side of their face. Any smaller than my chickens, you would have kissed them and kissed the whole head. You're kissing the head, really. You do look a little on there,

a little peck on the cheek. Peck. Yeah, oh no, the side of the face. You probably get them in the eye. Have you snuggled up to your chickens? Nah, they're not the snuggling type. They're not the snuggling type. They have been, I've been letting them out

because I've got like this chicken run, but I let them out into the paddock. Right. How do you get them to come back? Leashes. You've got to herd them up. I've been tagged get them to come back? Leashes. You've got to herd them up. I've been tagged in that a lot.

Chicken leashes. Chicken leashes. Chicken harnesses. What? Chicken harnesses. Like cat harnesses. With a leash on it so you can take

your chicken for a walk. No. No, because they're not, they're not, they don't like you touching them. Oh yeah, you've got to get

the harness on, don't you? Dad, grab a chicken. We want to pat the chicken And so I like Try to grab it And the other way One of them turned around And was like

Whack And pecked me on the hand I was like Oh you bugger I think it was Caitlin That pecked me Not named after our Caitlin No

Caitlyn Jenner They're all there They're all cat-ashy The claptashy hen She would Sass A lot of sass, but no,

I've not, no, no, I've not been kissing the chickens. Snuggling the goats. The goats are probably the snuggliest pets. Yeah.

I don't really, what? Well, they're great. They're a great size for a hug. They don't seem snuggly. They're like a rough hug. You've got a whole household

of humans you can snuggle, but. Oh yeah, no, no, no, but I just thought we were talking about animals.

Yeah, right. Well, this is a warning. Even though it is from America thought we were talking about animals. Yeah, right. Well, this is a warning. Even though it is from America, don't kiss your chickens. Yeah, you might get salmonella. You're right. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark.

Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. Scary times to be a New Zealander. When you go to a party and someone opens a bag of salt and vinegar chips, you may and this is just a may no longer be able to dip that

into the classic Kiwi dip of reduced cream and onion soup mix. Are you scare mongering? It's a little bit of scare-mongering, but it's also just starting the groundswell of support before this gets away on us. Okay.

Look, I got goosebumps when you said that. I know, yeah. It's scary times. Well, you know that I've been vehemently and vocally against the, what is it called? The Nestle sweetened reduced cream dip or whatever it's called. What's it called? The Nestle sweetened reduced cream dip or whatever it's called. What's it called?

Reduced cream. Reduced cream. It's not sweetened. You're saying it's sweetened condensed milk. Oh, I love that. Different dairy-based product. I hate the dip. The onion,

it's a Kiwi classic, but I... No, you don't like tomato sauce either. Yeah. So there's a town in Australia where the factory is that makes Nestle reduced cream. Okay.

It's called Tongala and it's in, really hit that didn't I? Hang on. So Kiwi onion dip is made from? Australian made reduced cream. So it was in Northern Victoria and it produced mainly

tinned milk products including the reduced cream. Now it's closing and it produced mainly tinned milk products, including the reduced cream. Now, it's closing and it's moving operations overseas. Now, the Sydney Morning Herald is reporting that the majority of the products will shift to factories in New Zealand. Hooray, employment opportunities. Great.

However, Nestle ruled out the possibility of reduced cream being made in its spiritual homeland of New Zealand. So that's where the confusion arises. Okay. And people want to know what the hang is going on. Could we be seeing a shortage in weeks or months to come? Like, should people start stockpiling reduced cream?

It doesn't go off. It's in tins. You know how there's like Pam's? There's a Pam's reduced cream. Well, there's like other brands. Are they all made at the same place? Unsure. Well, they don't tell you that.

Otherwise, you'd be just buying the cheapo, wouldn't you? The cheaper one, yeah, rather than the branded one. But I'm not sure, Megan, about that. And too recent. This is serious. We're coming into summer. Has Nestle made any official comment on this or are they just keeping everyone in the dark?

Well, I mean, maybe they want to see what the story is. How impassioned it will be. It's only a Kiwi slash Aussie thing, isn't it? Reduced cream. Yeah, yeah. And I watched the story recently of the lady who invented it, Rosemary, and she was in charge of recipes for the Nestle company, and she put this together.

Now, I didn't know this. I found this on the reduced cream Wikipedia page. Reduced cream is a dairy product sold in New Zealand by Nestle. That's all it says. It doesn't say that it's anywhere else in the world. It's at any sort of popularity. It's claimed to contain 38% less fat than thickened cream. So I looked at what thickened cream is.

You know, if we need to find an alternative. It's more fattening, but if you're eating reduced cream dip, I don't think you're too worried about it. No. About the fatties. But this looks to be more for cooking to thicken things up if you're making like a creamy pasta or a curry or something that wants a bit of cream.

So back to the drawing board, I went and found out that when the dip was originally made, it was sort of a New Zealand take on a dip that involved sour cream used as the creamy base. Oh, see, that would be if you mixed an onion soup packet with sour cream. French onion dip with sour cream, apparently. Right. That could work. The go-to. Actually,

it'd probably be nicer because that's my thing with this dip is it tastes like, it's like a wallpaper paste. It's like a real dusty, dry,

That's because you've eaten it straight away. You've got to let it sit so the onions get reconstituted. Yeah. And then it sits. Sit for hours.

It's still disgusting. Especially when you can go to the supermarket and buy all those yum dips. No, they're not the same. Your basil, cashew, blah, blah. You've lost contact with the average New Zealander. You don't dip a chip in a basil pesto. He's lost what it

means. Who are you? Oh yes, splashing out for a $2.50 dip. Who are you? P, yeah, splashing out for a $2.50 dip. To be a Kiwi. Who are you? Pesto. Dip your chip in pesto? Why not? Because that, you, what's wrong with you?

So what's the plan then? Stockpile? They're not going to stop making it. Surely there's money to be made in this kind of thing. See, I don't think they do this in Australia, because I had to send, when my friend lived over there, I had to send reduced cream and onion dip, she called me one day devoured because someone had made soup out of her onion soup packet.

She's like, that's not what it's for. Surely they have the soup. They'd have soup sachets. Oh, yeah, but someone had gone into her flat, into the cupboard and used the onion soup packet to make actual onion soup. She's like, that's not what that's for. No one's using those to make actual soup. None of that sachet stuff's used to actually make soup, right?

It's just to flavour other things. Yeah. You can buy nicer soups. Much nicer soups. They would make more and it would be better for you for not too much more. I think Magi have come to terms with that. I mean, it's called onion soup and I'll make it.

It should say soup and afterwards be like, wink. We know you're flashing up some dishes. We know you're mixing this and putting it in the slow cooker with some other stuff.

We're not too fussy. Okay. Well, this is something that we should definitely keep an eye on because, I mean,

I wouldn't be too fussed but I think a lot of the country would be quite devastated. So maybe stockpile a couple of tins. Just in case. Why? Someone messaged in saying in South Africa they use reduced cream for trifle. No, they used evaporated milk for trifle. Yeah, that's like sweetened condensed milk.

No, it's not sweet. Tell them they've used the wrong tin. They've obviously mixed up the tins. That trifle tastes like shit. What's wrong with this trifle? God! Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Now if you go to

Google Maps and type in 14 Church Street Nelson and drop your Street view little orange fella down there. Yep. And then spin so you're facing northeast. Yep. You'll see our Wellington offices.

No, you won't. You might see our Wellington offices, but they're miles away. You might have to be on top of the centre of New Zealand with your not killers to see our Wellington offices. but they're miles away. Yeah, you might have to be on top of the centre of New Zealand with your knock killers to see our Wellington offices. So you can see our Nelson offices for NZME, the parent company of everything there. And on the corner of that is a billboard property that I believe comes with the rent of the building. It does, yes.

That entitles an NZME property to have a billboard there. Now, it had been for a very long time a Radio Hauraki billboard, but a very old Radio Hauraki billboard. Oh, out of date. Featuring people who hosted their breakfast show six and a half years ago. So no longer work for the station. Every time we'd be to Nelson, we're like, can we have this? We want to be on this.

Can we have this billboard? Because we'll now cross to analytics senior correspondent Carl Fletch Fletcher to give us the latest update on how the Fletch Von Amigen radio show does in Nelson. Keep in mind

one third of the show call home. Yeah, it's my hometown. I've got relatives there as well. When this comes out, it's really hurtful. I actually have no connection to Nelson at all. I'm happy for it to be written off. You're happy to distance yourself. Well, according to the latest GFK radio results,

the station's share percentage by day part, the Fletchhorn and Megan show, we're 12th out of 17. I'm okay with that because there's five behind us. If I was running in a race like that, I'd're 12th out of 17. I'm okay with that because there's five behind us. If I was running in a race like this. Who's behind us? Radio Rima is behind us. And they've got God on their side. What is this lawless, godless land

of Nelson? They need some more Jesus. Who else is down there? Radio Sport are behind us. Just behind us Yeah Okay That's

Probably because I've been Talking about sport Life FM That's another Jesus one Isn't it? They fall under the property Of a religious Oh

George FM Dang Because Nelson loves Their pingas So they've got no excuse I know But if I If I was running a race

And I came 12 out of, what was it, 17? Yeah. I'd be stoked for that. Megan, this isn't a running race. It's not a Kiwi kids' triathlon thanks to Weet-Bix. We've got to get the participation medal, Megan. I want to win. Try harder.

No wonder we're coming 12th. The locals got this bad attitude. Yeah. Well, when we went down there, we did whinge about how we wanted it to be us. And my dad is a sign erector. So he... Erects the big ones. Yeah.

There's jokes on his van about that as he drives around town. Does he? Erections by Wayne. Terrifying. Hauntingly large erections by Wayne. He doesn't actually have that on his van, does he? It was a sticker he made for his van. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, there's another one by the way. He doesn't actually have that on his van, does he? It was a sticker he made for his van. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Oh, there's another one on the back. I actually don't think he has this anymore. So that was on the front on his driver's door. And then on the back, up the top of the boot. Can I say it? Yeah. For erections the last.

Hot play. Hot play from your dad. Hot play. Yeah. Wow. It's a dad joke. Okay. So, yeah, he heard us moaning about how we wanted the billboard

and he was like, do you know what? If you get it made, I'll put it up for you for free. Perks. Brilliant. So you'll be pleased to know on that billboard now, after the weekend, there is a brand new billboard with our faces on it. Yes.

It's good. Watch this space from 12th, baby. We're rocking into the moon. Did your mum help out with the installation? Yeah. How did it go? So it was Sunday they installed it, and mum was right-hand woman helping out.

Cherry picker, it's quite a way off the ground. I don't know. A couple of ladders, probably. Yeah, at least. But mum did give me an update. She texted me yesterday and she said, I said, how did it all go? It looks awesome.

Thanks so much. She said, yeah, it's good. I hurt my vagina a little. A bit of a strain trying to get the wrinkles out of Fletcher's face. What? You mean like the actual billboard itself was wrinkly? She didn't clarify. How does your mum share that kind of stuff with you?

I know, now we've heard things about both my parents. She's used her vagina to wrinkle out your fur. Was she kind of like just contorting her body so he could gun staple it in place? She's got groin strain trying to... Right. Pull it tight. She's really...

Pass on my apologies to your mum. Well, I think you should apologise yourself, actually, by the sounds of it. Right. So what we can expect is next time for us to do better than 12th. Well, you'd hope so. Otherwise, it's on the billboard. Yeah.

What can we do? We've literally upped our marketing by 1,000%. From zero to one, I mean, that could be a million percent, couldn't it? I don't know how percentages work. One of them starts on zero, can't you just say anything? I think you can say anything. Nothing to something is a bajillion

percent. Yeah. I would expect to see that in the rankings. Well, we'll see. Stay tuned. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A woman in the UK, her name is Jade. She met a guy on Tinder. Now, this is their second date, which makes it more odd.

Yeah, I'm wondering if she picked up that this guy was a loser, a bit of a day bag on the first date. Obviously not. Obviously not. So they didn't live close. She had to spend three and a half hours, $182 to travel to meet up with him for the second date. $182?

Three and a half hours? Yeah. No, too hard basket. We're cheap and convenient men. Three and a half hours, 180 hours, no. So she'd gone to the effort to go and meet him. Yeah. And it was at the train station that she caught up with him.

He's a 27-year-old car salesman. Okay. You should have driven to her then. What are those cars? Yeah. He saw her and immediately said, you've put on weight since our first date, which was four weeks earlier.

Ouch. At that point, I would have been like, okay, thank you, next. I would have literally been like, no, you're a D-bag. Even to just say that to me right from the get-go. Yeah, even though I'd just been on a train for three hours. Turn around and go back again.

Yeah. But she then was like, oh, okay. Walked to his car and then he again straight up said But she then was like, oh, okay. Walked to his car and then he again, straight up said that she was fat. So at that point, she's like,

actually no. At that point, she scrapped the date and was like, no, I'm done because you're just being rude. So he said, you don't look anything

like your photo. You've put on weight since the last time I saw you. You're just fat now. So she, as a joke, set up a GoFundMe page just to recover the cost of that $182 she spent on the train. And just the whole story has got so many people involved. It's over $1,500 New Zealand dollars now. Wow.

Just because people are like, that sucks. Has she said she's going to keep the money or use it for something else? I actually don't know what she plans to do with the money. But she's more than covered her costs. Yeah. More than covered her costs. Well, she sounds like she lives in the middle of nowhere. She might be best to buy a concession pass on a train.

Or a monthly or a yearly. Yeah, yeah. It's so weird, though, because she's obviously been chatting to him. She's been on one date and at no point did she know or notice that he was a bit of a jerk. Yeah, I feel like someone that sees something like that, surely you would pack up. There was red flags. Yeah, surely you'd, yeah, see that he's not a nice person before then. Yeah.

But I guess that's what happens. You talk to them on Twitter, they put their best foot forward, and it's not until you meet them in person that they say savage or weird comments. So, I would love to know have you been in this situation? You've met someone, they seem all good and then when you meet

up with them, they say something horrendous to you. So it doesn't need to be about you it could just be something racist or something horrible or just horrible. Or just weird. Like left field weird date chat.

Yeah. Okay. The weirdest, most horrific thing someone said to you on a date. All right. Okay. So maybe you met them on Tinder or wherever and they've dropped a absolute. A clanger. A clanger. 0800 dials at M.

You can message. We want to know the weirdest, strangest, like most brutal thing someone said to you on a date after a woman travelled three hours by train, spent 182 New Zealand dollars, only to be told when she got there that she'd put on weight and she was fat. Ouch.

Ouch. I like that she's fundraised enough money, more than enough money to pay for her train ticket. Yeah. And some. Laura, good morning. Hi, how are you going? Good.

What did somebody say to you on a date? So it was a second date. So I'd been on this first date with this guy and he was already like a little bit weird. So that was all right. And you gave him a second date. Well, I thought let's not be judgy. We can all be a little bit weird so that was all right and you gave him a second date well i thought let's not be judgy let's we can all be a little bit weird sometimes yeah exactly and it was the first date

like everyone's nervous and awkward so that's fine yeah um so then he asked if i wanted to go to the um races in christchurch with him so i was like oh yeah that's cool but i thought i'll bring my friend just in case he is super weird and then we can just dial and go to be at the races together. Good idea. Yeah, so then like halfway through the date, the guy pulls me aside and asks if my friend would consider being a foot model for him.

Your friend? Yeah, not me, my friend, because she had petite feet. What did he want them to model? What did he want to use them for? He wanted to know if she would put on some really high heels and take photos and send them to him. Hmm, but did he work for like a sock company? Or is he like a Hannah's guy?

Or what's the situation? Don't bring Hannah's into this. No, definitely not. It was definitely a fetish thing. He still wanted to, like, pursue a relationship with you. No, no. Well, I don't know if he did or not, but I sure as hell didn't want to carry it on after that.

Yeah, yeah. He'd be creeping on your friend all the time, wouldn't he? Laura, thanks for your call. Dylan, what did somebody say to you on a date? So, the date was going great. I thought it was amazing. One of my Tinder dates, of course. Yeah.

The Dilster's never got a shortage of Tinder dates coming in. Carry on, Dilster. Oh, well, on another note, I've actually been banned from Tinder, but that's alright. Oh, Dilster. We don't want to know Oh, Delster. What? We don't want to know why, Delster.

Don't incriminate yourself here. We'll talk about it off here. Okay. Feels appropriate. So you're on one of your many Tinder dates, yep. Yeah. So on my Tinder date, it was all going well. Right at the end of the date, I thought it was going to lead to another date.

But then she's like, oh, gosh, you're such a nice guy, but I wish you looked like my ex. Oh. And I was like, oh, this is a bit, this is a bit shit. Yeah. I mean, she's obviously still hung up on the ex. Yeah. I wouldn't take it personally.

Dilster. Dilster, I would love you to just hold the line there and producer Caitlin was going to get the story for why you're banned from. She'll ascertain whether or not it's appropriate for on-air. Say for on-air, but Vaughn, you've had some messages. I once had someone tell me they weren't usually attracted to Māori girls, but it was okay because I'm mixed race, so you can't really tell if you're definitely Māori or something.

Oh, what? What is wrong with people? Oh, God. I cannot believe someone said that. I went out on a date with a guy who told me nonstop I was cruel and horrible because my dogs would de-sex. Then it should be their right if they wanted to have babies. Every time I tried to change the subject, he'd go back to it.

At the end of the date, he even tried kissing me and then asked for a second date. But I'm cruel and horrible. Yeah, no. I had a date where a guy tried to guess my body fat percentage at dinner. Are you kidding me? I was just sitting at dinner saying, well, I'm at least 5% McDonald's. We're all a little bit percent. Women are the crazy ones.

That's messed up. She asked me what my favorite font was. Oh, actually, that's a good question. That's actually really, that's a hot question. What am I stuck on at the moment? Calibri. Yeah, Calibri. You can't go wrong with Calibri, can you? No. But when, if

somebody was to say to me, Papyrus or Comic Sans, I'd be like, see ya, I'm out of here. This guy said Wingdings, because it was the only one he could think of in a pinch. See, that's good. That's creative and fun. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I was on a date once,

and he knew me through work and he thought I was one of the prettiest girls at work, but it wouldn't hurt me to go for a run. I had a date who, not that long into the date, said, I'm just going to let you know because this freaks some people out if they find it later on. Yeah. Then there was a pause of silence.

They were like... I like to be suspended in the air by hooks through my back. Oh, what do they call that? Some people like that. Ow. No fun. I cried when I got my nose pierced.

If I'm going to be suspended from the ceiling, it's more of a 3M master hook sort of guy myself. Well, I prefer a hammock. Call me crazy. That's a good option too. That's a good option too. That's a good option.

I once had a guy tell me on a date that his mum is big so he doesn't mind a bigger girl. I once had a guy cancel a date on me because he had

no clean undies. He messaged me when I was on my way to the restaurant. A guy I was seeing gave me a cactus for Easter because I could do

without the chocolate this year. I was speaking to a guy for three months before meeting. We finally met for a date. It was going well. We walked into a restaurant. I ordered the pizza. And he said, are you sure you need to eat a whole pizza?

What are people thinking? What is wrong with this? Producer Caitlin, did you talk to the Dillster? Why did he get banned from Tinder? The Dillster. I think, unfortunately, he has quite a few exes that may have blocked him. We're not sure. He's tried to email.

Do you think they've complained about his profile? He's emailed Tinder. He's on Bumble, though, so if anyone wants to get in with the Dillster. The Dillster's on Tinder. He's on Bumble. On Bumble. Dillster, are you still there? I'm still here, guys.

But the Dillster, that means on Bumble, they have to initiate conversation with you. Yeah, but then I'm also on Grindr as well, so there's all that. Get up, boy. The Dillster's got all the dating apps covered. His face is covered. The Dillster.

The Dillster. Right here. I like him. Thanks, Dillster. Wow. I love some messages. Are we out like them. Thanks, Delster. Wow. Some messages. Are we out? No.

God, there's so many. I just don't. And they keep coming in. And I don't want to start reading one and get halfway through and realize it's like really, really bad. Right. I went on a date with a guy once. I don't know how this ends. I thought it had gone well.

He asked me for a drink the next night. Turns out he only asked me for a drink the next night so he could deliver quite a detailed critique of everything I did the night before that I'd done wrong the night before. Then asked me for a lift home. I said, yeah, I'll be back in a minute. I'll just go to the toilet and left the bar and went home. God, if this is how the dates are starting,

it's not going to get better, is it? No, it's not. Fact of the starting, yeah, it's just, it's not going to get better, is it? No, it's not. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's our fact of the day is about Scooby-Doo. Okay. 50 years Scooby-Doo has been running. 1969 was the first televised Scooby-Doo cartoon and it was ran pretty much consistently in a whole bunch of different forms. Simps?

Yeah. Simps? Simps? Simps? Yeah. Rooby, rooby, roo! Go. Go do one.

Do a Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Dooby-Doo! Roll, roll, raggy. I always say roll,oby-Doo. Roll, roll, raggy. I always say roll, roll, raggy. Roll, roll, raggy. Whenever anything bad happens, roll, roll, raggy. Roll, roll, raggy. So today's fact of the day about Scooby-Doo is that Scooby-Doo was originally named Too Much.

The name of the dog, Scooby-Doo, was Too Much. This was in the pitch. What? I know, nuts, eh? This was the, he was a bongo-playing dog called Too Much. And in the early treatments, they couldn't decide between a Great Dane, which is what Scooby-Doo is, and a Sheepdog. This was in the pitch process

for Scooby-Doo. It went through two failed pitches, Scooby-Doo. And Fred Silverman was the man that said, Too Much is not a good name for a dog. It's a stupid name. And make it a Great Dane because they're more comical than a sheepdog. And he talked to an animator, a Japanese animator called

Iwao Takamoto, who took the design of Scooby-Doo, the Great Dane design, and was like, hmm. And he talked to some Great Dane breeders and he said, what makes a good quality of a Great Dane? And they told them all the qualities and he made Scooby-Doo the exact opposite. Right. So it had a real comical feel to it. And Fred Silverman, the guy that charged EY with redesigning him,

also said the name too much isn't going to do. Now apparently in a late night brainstorm in his office, this song from Frank Sinatra was on the radio. It's called Strangers in the Night. This is getting towards the end. So you imagine 1968 probably before it aired. Yep. Having a cigarette in your office.

What are we going to call this dog? What are we going to call this dog? What will we call him? Oh, my God. And he heard it and he saw how fantastically Doobie Doobie Doo rolled off the tongue. Yeah. And he imagined a Great Dane saying... Scooby.

Scooby Doobie Doo. And that is how Scooby Doo gotoby Dooby Doo. And that is how Scooby Doo got his name. Huh. Wasn't that neat? From Too Much. That's so neat. Too Much is a stupid name.

Terrible name. Yeah. Would never have been what it was. No. Yeah. Because it wouldn't have had all the

and the show wasn't even going to be called anything to do with Scooby Doo. It was called Who's Scared or The Mysteries Five about the crew that Scooby-Doo hangs out with. So today's fact of the day is Scooby-Doo was originally called Too Much until a late night brainstorm and a Frank Sinatra song on the radio

led him to be called Scooby-Dooby-Doo. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So over the weekend, mowed the lawns. Oh, wasn't it good to have some fine weather, get the bloody lawns mowed after all the rain? Well, not everybody had fine weather, Vaughan. Well, everyone that counts.

Me. Everyone that I care about. Right, okay. Me. Me. You had it, so the whole world had fine weather, didn't it? Yep, in my mind it was a beautiful day. Everywhere.

Even war-torn places took the day off just to be not war-torn. Just so you could mow your lawns. No, I had some opportune weather for a lawn mow. Okay. So, oh, got stuck into that, and it was truly delightful. Love a good lawn mower. It's like therapy to me. Just zone out, pick your line, shoot your grass the same way.

Wee! Shoot your grass the same way. Shoot your grass the same way. Oh, well, you don't have a catcher. No, I don't have a catcher. That annoys me. It's a right on lawnmower. So you've got to shoot it. I've got the lawn sorted where you can just do it and it shoots it all one way and then it ends up in the garden.

But I am still contemplating one of those trailers with the brush on it that spits the grass up into the trailer. Contemplating. Not yet sold on the idea. Anyway, I was mowing the lawns and my daughter Indy came out and she's like, can I come on the lawnmower with you? And I'm like, well, I don't know the safety and health of this, but sure. And she chucked on some earmuffs and she sat,

and I was showing her how to steer it and how when you put, when you mow, when you come back around to that same part, you put the wheel on the part that's, you get a nice line. Sometimes you get a nice line and then it follows through. And then we're driving for a bit and she said,

can I have a go at doing this by myself? Oh God, was there a party that's like, you're going to mess this up? No, because I got it all, I gave her some straight lines and I said, stick to this kiddo, you'll be right in our lane. And this up? No, because I got it all that, I gave her some straight lines and I said,

stick to this kiddo, you'll be right in her lane. And then go around and come back and shoot it all that way. Yeah. And she was like, all right. And then she tried to reach the pedals,

but her legs weren't quite long enough. Yeah. Because you've got to, and on this lawnmower, it's a safety thing. You've got to have your butt on the seat. So it doesn't kind of go out of control if you fall off.

If you hop off, it stops. Right. So we had to jam a couple of bits of wood under there. Sounds safe. Safe. Safety first. And then under close supervision, she mowed the lawns and she engaged blades.

Which I was not allowed to do whenever I've been around at Bournes. I'm not allowed to engage blades. Were you not? Because you'd get bored too quick. You'd only want to engage blades for a little bit and then. It was Caitlin that ran over the ceramic mushroom. Yeah, but blades weren't engaged. Had blades been engaged.

It would have wrecked your lawn. It would have wrecked the blades. I can just imagine you getting sidetracked and drawing squiggly lines and stuff for a laugh. I get bored. I do one line and then I'm out. And then I'd have to mow the rest of the lawn. There's not been one of those sorts of occasions arise. So, yeah, she mowed the lawns and I'm very proud.

And, yeah, I put a video of it on Instagram and I mentioned the fact that I know I get this all the time and I don't believe anybody means it in any bad way, but I always get asked if I wanted a son. People always say, oh, you must really like, you must be gutted you don't have a son. I'm like, absolutely not. Like, have you seen them?

They're awful. I kind of remember what I was like at the time. Horrible. Like imagine if you had two boys instead of two girls. Like me and my brother, and you and your brother were terrible. Yeah, we went through walls and like threw each other through a toilet door once because I would always run to the toilet door and like shut it and lock it.

But I came around the corner and it was shut already and I tried to unlock it, but he was coming in hot behind and he just picked me up and just went straight through the door. No, I'm not at all gutted at the moment. My daughters can do everything that boys can do. Yeah, is that an implication because you like to...

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Masculine. And I like to think most people I think so. I think so. Mask it. And I like to think most people, once they say it, and I say, no, not at all. Like, somebody actually messaged me yesterday saying their grandad had six granddaughters. Yeah.

He didn't have any grandsons. And people used to say to him, oh, you must be buggered. You don't have a grandson. And he'd say, there's only one thing boys can do that girls can't, and that's stand up and stand up and piss. And I've seen all six of my granddaughters give it a go, and they're pretty close to nailing it.

I was like, that is so good from an old mate of like the old generation. Isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. With this kind of equality and forward thinking, I must be allowed to engage blades. No, you are not yet ready.

That's nothing to do with your gender. That's just... Well, because last time you didn't even want to drive it. You wanted to ride in the trailer. Now, that's not the attitude I need from someone who is about to engage blades. But in a trailer was more fun. I need someone who's eager to be a pilot, not just be a pillion passenger in a trailer.

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. A celebrity is going to prison. It's official. So on October 25th 2019, Felicity Huffman will be going to what they call a federal prison camp. What's she

been in? Because I know she's like, she got real famous Desperate Housewives. Was she in one of those TV courtroom thingies? Was she in the OJ one or something like that? I'm just looking here. Was she in one of those TV courtroom thingies? Was she in the OJ one or something like that? I'm just looking here. She was in American Crime. Yeah, which one?

Not OJ, the other... The one with the... It looks like it's drug related. Now They See Us. She was in Now They See Us. Oh, that was it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's been in heaps.

Great actress. Yeah. But, so this is all after the, what have they called it? The bribing. Admission scandal. Admission scandal. So this was where parents were bribing colleges and people to get their kids into these good colleges and schools.

Yes. So there was also Lori Loughlin, who was from Full House. Becky from Full House so Felicity Huffman has been sentenced first she paid $15,000 $15,000

Lori Loughlin that's not a very big bribe to get into a good school no that's not I feel a bit sorry for Felicity because she pled guilty she's written a statement

being like I deserve everything I get I'm ashamed she admitted to everything. So she has been sentenced and she's going to prison. Lori Loughlin spent $500,000 has not taken

the plea deal and has pleaded not guilty. She's like, I don't know. So she's definitely going to do prison time. Right. Probably longer. And is going to lose all that money she spent on lawyers. Yeah. Yeah. So Felicity Huffman is going to do prison time. Right. Probably longer. And is going to lose all that money she spent on lawyers. Yeah. Yeah.

So Felicity Huffman is going to spend two weeks at this FCI Dublin. It's a federal prison camp. So it's technically prison, but. Technically prison, but. So it does have like a sunbathing area. You're allowed to sunbathe on Sundays between 4pm and 8.30pm. Oh, on Friday and Sunday. Sorry, two days a week.

Weekend sunbathing. That's lovely, isn't it? She's only there for two weeks, so that's four days, if she does it right. They do get told they have to make their bed weekdays before 6.30am, so the beds have to be made by 6.30. Wait, so you can't even sleep in?

No, but on weekends you're allowed to get up at 10 a.m. Why can't you sleep in? It's prison. What else are you going to do? Start sunbathing. They get an hour of recreational time outside a day. But yeah, it is a minimum security prison for low risk, non-offensive.

So has she been sentenced to two weeks? 14 days. Right. But then they'll probably let her out after a couple because aren't all

the prisons overcrowded? And they say, so you've got an hour for lunch and you're not allowed to take actual food but you can take like a piece of fruit

or an apple back to your cell. Sounds very loose. There's five plus a day in this prison. Yeah, a piece of fruit. Well, no, that's my plan when I get old. If I don't have money for a retirement hunt, I'm just going to commit a crime.

And then go to prison. Yeah, right. And then you get locked. But then you'd be there for the rest of your life. It's okay. Family can come and see me. Probably as much as they would if I was just in a retirement hunt. What?

But you know, most people would just go and live with their family. You'd go out and commit a crime. I'd rather be a burden on the state than my particular family. I paid taxes in my singular cell.

Because let's be honest, there'd probably be no retirement by the time we get to retirement age. There's probably more regular lovemaking too. In prison. Maybe. Maybe.

Well, it depends if you... Because my wife's going to outlive me, so I assume she will be... Yeah, right. Well over it by then. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hit music lives here. ZM.