ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 17 2019

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

Megan has had a mini demotion, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and what lollies would you drop $100 on?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Morning. Why haven't you already got your headphones out? Why does that surprise you? You've had email issues this morning, haven't you? Well, I've had huge email issues. I can't log in, so that's the start and the end of the issue.

Yeah, right. You also deleted your emails from your phone. Yeah, I took my work emails off my phone, Megan. Oh, yeah, I did that too. It's called work-life balance, babes. Look it up, okay? It's so great. I don't know what that is.

It's what my guru told me to do. Who's your guru? I happen to be my own guru, so that's why that solid advice came through from my guru. It's great not having all those annoying work emails on your phone. You should delete it. It's great. And if they want me that badly,

they can call me so I can ignore that too. But thus is life. I encourage emails so that I don't get phone calls because I don't answer those. Because you don't like talking to people. Nope. Yeah, fair call. Fair call. No, they don't answer those. Because you don't like talking to people. Nope. Yeah, fair call.

No, they don't often call. They'll just message or Facebook message, which is fine. I can deal with that. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six, Vaughan. Yeah, look. What's on their agenda? Well, like my guru said, sometimes you've got to go on a wellness retreat. This is the latest buzz in holidays.

Wellness holidays. Yeah, so it's not just going to get drunk on bintangs. No. In Bali, you've got to do, like, fitness while you're there. Well, just a whole bunch of wellness things. Okay, right. So the top six are wellness activities you can take part in on your wellness holidays coming up.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time, three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, pick one headline out of the following three. Headline one, man bears huge fine. Headline two, bring your child to robbery day. And headline three, ballerina's nutcracker. One, is it man beers something something?

Is there a beer involved? There is a beer involved, Megan, yes. Man beers again. What was it again? Man beers. Man beers, huge fine. Okay. Negative fine for the beer.

And then the ballerina nutcracker. Yes. That's about being hit in the nuts. But, of course, a play on words because of the famous nutcracker. Correct, yes. There are some nuts involved, Vaughan. Because someone obviously took their kid on a robbery. Yeah, the robbery.

They took their kid. It's one or three to me, Megan. Three. I do love a bear story. I love a nutcracker story. I'll go with you today on that one then. You love a nutcracker story? Yeah. Well, about today on that one then. Let's do this. You love a nutcracker story? Yeah.

Well, a bell... Hang on, I've got to skip this survey. Google's just asking me. Oh, I don't want your notifications. Mirror.co.uk. Skip the Google survey. Imagine if you clicked on, yes, I'll have notifications from every single page that asks you to.

Oh, my God, it's annoying. It would be awful. Your right-hand side of your screen would just be constantly filled with notifications. Well, a furious ballerina kicked a police officer in the testicles after being told she was too drunk to get on a plane. The ballerina found herself in a confrontation

with cops at Heathrow Airport after fellow passengers told staff she'd had too much to drink. They saw the 33-year-old being drunkunken disorderly in the airport at Wetherspoons. Hey! We have fond memories of Wetherspoons, don't we? Love Wetherspoons. Tuesday curry night.

Tuesday? Was it Tuesday? I thought it was Thursday or Wednesday. Curry club. Well, Tuesday is traditionally Taco Tuesday. I know that, but no, I think it was Tuesday night, Curry Club, wasn't it? Right. So they need to get people through the doors on the Tuesday.

Right. Well, when she was approached by staff, she kicked one in the genitals and scratched another in the face. Officers searched her and they found that she had a lock knife in her possession, which is great because she was in an airport. So it's great to see that airport security's working. She's a dancer with Spain's Victor Ulay

Ballet Company. I think you've nailed that. That was great pronunciation. Very flexible too, so I'd imagine she'd get right up there. Is that her? That's her there, Vaughan, doing a split standing up. She'd put her? That's her. They're born doing a split, but standing up. She'd put her heel on a wall and go straight up the wall. Did you say the splits, but standing up?

Yeah. That's effectively what it is, isn't it? If you look at that photo, that's effectively what that is, Megan. There's probably a name for that. The splits, but standing up. They hold their leg up, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I knew exactly what you were talking about.

The splits, but standing up. She'd be able to kick you in the nuts if you were on a ladder. Oh, absolutely. Get right up. She would. Any word as to what's happened? Is she in prison? She was escorted to a police van where she tried to bite an officer on the arm

as well as kicking and scratching him. She became very aggressive. And she was fined £100 for being drunk and disorderly and was denied bail. She's currently being detained at Her Majesty's Prison, Bronzeville. Her Majesty's Prison. HMP. That's what they call it? Yeah.

HMP and then the name of the prison. Right. But HMS is Her Majesty's Ship. Yeah. Right. Is it? Okay. Her Majesty's HMSS. HMSS. Steamship. Steamship. That was when they were steamships. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Is it? Okay. Her Majesty's HMSS.

HMSS, steamship. Steamship. That was when they were steamships. Oh, okay. Yeah. So yeah, she's in prison. Wow. Probably doing the split standing up in prison.

I'd imagine that would go down a treat. An absolute treat. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. The IG Nobel Prizes were announced at a ceremony at Harvard University. So these are kind of spoof prizes that are announced. So the research is real and sometimes they have quite a serious message. Yeah.

But they get prizes if they're a little bit funny. Do you know what I mean? Just what? To make people laugh? Yeah. Okay, but still serious science. Yeah, so there's still very real research projects. There is a research project that has won one of these Nobel Prizes,

and it's by fertility experts, Roger and Boras. Boras? They have measured the temperature of French postman's testicles. Goodness. Did they ask the French postman's post? No, I think they definitely asked. Right. It says here actually they asked 11 postal workers.

So they got them to stand for 90 minutes while they measured the temperature of their scrotums. Yeah. And they have found that the left one is warmer. Who's left? Left looking at it or the postman's left? Stage left or? No, it must be their left. It must be the postman's left.

So looking down, your left one. Your left one is. Why are you putting your hands down? It's warmer. Yeah. Oh, I wonder if just, I wonder if that's true. Because instantly, in my head I was like left, and then it felt warmer.

Did yours feel warmer? No, I got a couple of cold spots on the left. Caitlin, we are going to need some hand sanitizer. They're literally both cupping their balls right now. I think you're going to ask Caitlin to come and run a thermometer. Can you get your hands out of your pants, please? Mine were never down there. I was going on the top over the jean, Megan.

Oh, you'll never be able to. That's unscientific. Get your hands in your pants. Can you stop now, Vaughn? No? Okay. You're really taking this quite seriously. I think my right's running a little bit hotter.

Well, you've warmed it up now because you're cupping it. Yeah, yeah, with my actual hand, but I think my right's running a little bit hotter. Well, you've warmed it up now because you're cupping it. Yeah, yeah, with my actual hand, but I think my right was running a little bit hotter. Don't touch anything on that desk. Yuck. My balls were freshly washed this morning. I'll have you know. I shower before work, so they've had a wash and a dry.

Okay. Place in clean underpants. No physical activity's been undertaken this morning. The research project was called Thermal Asymmetry of the Human Scrotum, and yeah, they found that the temperature of the left was warmer, but only when closed. So when you're naked, it's evenly balanced. So why does the left one heat up when you're wearing clothes

and not the right one? I don't know if we got that far. Does it sit a bit underneath on most people or was there something to do with the poster workers? Maybe the jocks of the poster workers? Does everyone sit I know but does everyone's

have the same I wouldn't imagine so. Surely that's like a right handedhanded, left-handed situation. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I didn't quite know how to form that question. Yeah, it depends if you're right-handed, left-handed, Megan. Right.

It corresponds with what one hangs lower. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You'd imagine the one that hangs lower would be colder because it's out on its own. But it's still surrounded by the underwear, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, but underwear doesn't produce heat, whereas your body is constantly producing heat. Yeah, right. It just keeps in the heat that it produces. So if one was more surrounded by body, less surface area, it would get hotter. Imagine finishing your- That's why our balls are on the outside.

Excuse me, testicles are on the outside. Yeah, right. To maintain the perfect temperature. Okay. Whereas some animals have them internally because they run a slightly cooler body internal body temp. So they've said that the quality of men's

swimmers in the western world is in decline but they don't know how to improve it. They do know that temperature is a big issue on quality. Global warming.

That's another thing. Yeah. It's coming for the swimmers. Yeah. But that's right because that's what you do with those swimmers that's heating up the world by having more population. Yeah. So maybe it's a balancing act here. As long as we don't head for Handmaid's Tale kind of deal.

That's what I was thinking. We're just another year closer to handmaid's tale aren't we? Yeah pretty much. From the ZM Think Tank this is the top six. Good morning. Today's top six deals with wellness retreats. Getaway holidays your detox holidays. These are the must do's for 2019. Everyone knows young lady. Yeah. I'd say that most of what I've been reading about

is definitely targeted more at females than males. Like your yoga. Yeah. I can imagine anything worse than being stuck in Uber doing yoga for seven days and drinking green tea. So they're all targeted. There's many types of them, and they're the travel buzz at the moment.

They are. Because they photograph well as well. They photograph very well these wellness retreats. The ones that do well also have a very strong social media presence. So I've put together the top six wellness activities to get up to on a holiday in case you're heading away but you're not sure what to do.

Number six on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on holiday holiday in case you're heading away, but you're not sure what to do. Number six on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on holiday, yogurt. I meant frozen yogurt. Delicious, fruity, tangy, full of sugar, and the perfect snack on a hot day. And, like, it's probably worse for you than ice cream, but you're like, no, it's not,

because it doesn't have ice cream in it. Yeah, right. And you just do that the whole retreat. You can do it whenever you want. Oh, great. Absolutely do it whenever you want. Oh, great. Absolutely. Absolutely whenever you want. Number five on the top six wellness activities to get up to on a holiday.

Meditating under a waterfall. Sorry. Sorry. Medicating under a waterfall. Some Southeast Asian countries are pretty loose with what's named medication. Just be careful. Know your limits or you'll end up under a waterfall, highly medicated. Right.

So just, I don't know, you'll think you're fighting it or something. Or it's a blanket, but it's not. It's a powerful waterfall that could crush you. Number four on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on holiday. Massage. A lovely relaxing foot massage in a massage shop that's got a big glass window out onto the busy main road with about 15 other people also getting massages.

And mostly slightly tipsy Australian baby boomers that are talking quite loudly about what they've been up to on their holiday lately. Yeah. Yeah, but you're only paying like $4 for half an hour. It's so cheap. You know, why pay for privacy? You might pick up a great tip from a baby boomer.

Number three on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on your retreat, a digital detox. That's where you take all your photos for the gram in the first couple of days. Yep. Upload them. Declare that you're going on a digital detox. Yep. So everyone can tell you how wonderful you are in the comments. upload them, declare that you're going on a digital detox. Yeah.

So everyone can tell you how wonderful you are in the comments. And then for the next few days, you just lurk on social media. The real restraint comes from not liking anybody's photos because then your cover's blown off. Number two on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on your wellness retreat, eating a plant-based diet. That's where you eat plants and plant stuff. Yeah.

And you bask in the glory of all you've done for the planet. And then you sneak back to your room and realise you're still really hungry and demolish those potato chips cooked in animal fat from non-recyclable single-use plastic bags that you bought on the airport on the way in. Yeah, great. Just because you knew this was going to happen

because this always happens when you try to go without meat. Plastic bags that you bought on the airport on the way in. Yeah, great. Just because you knew this was going to happen. This always happens when you try to go without meat. And number one on the list of the top six wellness activities to get up to on holiday. It's practicing a little self-love retreat. Yeah, get into yourself. That's where you go to your room and you pull the curtains and you lock the door. You get on the Wi-Fi and you really get to work on yourself. Really? Getting to know who you are and you really get to work on yourself. Really?

Right. Getting to know who you are and what. Self-love. Yeah. And why wait for the retreat? Why not go for it now? I know. Great way to start the day. Yeah.

It's the equivalent to 20 minutes brisk walk. Yeah. I don't know. That just sounded good though and slightly believable. Slightly believable. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Somebody requested official information from the New Zealand prisons on what are the most ordered items from the prison shop. Okay. P119 is what the shop's called. Don't know why. That's just what it says. Is it like the area?

It's like a code. You know how we have codes for our meeting rooms? Like G, what are they? And I can never find them. Well, it means ground. Yeah, ground. And then A. Oh my God, is it what G stands for?

Yep. Why didn't you just tell me that? I didn't find it. Well, we thought it was pretty self-explanatory when the G was on it. A means this building's A and that side of the building's B. I didn't know that either. And then they just numbered and they start there and work their way around. Right.

Okay, GA makes sense then. Yeah. Good to know after four years in this building. So are they GB over there? Yes. Ha ha. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. That makes sense. So the most popular things purchased from the shop, P119. Question. How do they, do they go into prison and then take money with them? They can be sent money by relatives. Oh, okay. Or they can do prison jobs and they earn a real like.

Five cents for doing the washing. Yeah. So they can put that towards buying things if they're in a family that'll send them money. Yeah. Chips. Potato chips, been the most popular. And chicken being the most popular flavour of potato chips. Chicken chips! That's why they're in prison. Yeah, I wouldn't let them out on parole if they were ordering chicken chips by choice.

Do you think that would be because they don't get a lot of chicken in prison? That they crave that? Because there's no other explanation as to why chicken chips would be the favourite chip. Yeah. Maybe the only other flavour's really salted. Because I'd probably choose chicken over red salt. Yeah, same. You'd have to have an S and V as your favourite flavour.

Yeah, they'd have salt and vinegar, sure. Gotta have salt and vinegar. Well, they've got to punish them somehow. That's true, they are in prison. Yeah, true. They don't deserve salt and vinegar. They only get've got to punish them somehow. That's true. They are in prison. Yeah, true. They don't deserve something. They only get the crappy, chippy flavours. Yeah.

$5 phone cards. Okay. Another item purchase. So that's the second most popular. Yeah. And fresh bananas. Okay. Good potassium.

Other choices. Chocolate bars. Whole milk powder. Instant noodles. Pineapple bite lollies, which I'm guessing are off-brand prison versions of pineapple lumps, and coffee granules. Huh.

So how do you cook noodles if you're in prison? Do you get a stove? Do some of them have stoves? Or do you get to use the kitchen? I hadn't even thought about the cooking of the noodles. Because there's nothing else they could just be eating, right? I watch Jailbirds on Netflix, and I don't think they cook the noodles on that. They just eat them.

They eat the raw cakes. Yeah. That was a real mouth destroyer if you pulled that when you got home from school and you were 200 away for a minute. Because they used to just buy stuff from the canteen and make their own concoctions. Right, right. Yeah, raw noodles.

Because did you, with the raw noodles, add the flavour sachet and then smash them up or smash them up, open the packet add the flavour sachet and then eat them raw. I didn't smash them. Never smash them up. You're an animal. But the cake, you want the longest noodle possible. No, to eat them raw. Oh no, you just

Oh, monster. No, you'd break them up and then you'd shake the sachet in it. Yeah, that's what I did. You'd smash the pack. Oh, you'd break them up and then you'd shake the sachet in it. That's what I did. You'd smash the pack. You'd smash the pack while it was in the pack. Yep. And then they'd crunch up.

But then how would you get the sachet out? Because that was always inside the pack. You wouldn't need to open the pack. No, you'd get the sachet out afterwards and then sprinkle it in and then shake it. Again. Oh, like hold it shut, shake it up and eat the bits. So if you were cooking them, would you break up the noodles? Heck no, Megan. Oh, okay. No way, Phil. That's what So if you were cooking them, would you break up the noodles? Heck no, Megan.

Oh, okay. No way. That's what I thought you were saying. No. I'm not a monster. You think you know someone and then you find out they want to smash their noodles pre-cooking. I know. I was like.

No. No. It's like you'll ever go. Mum used to do it. She couldn't wait when she was doing spaghetti for the spag bol. Yeah. She wouldn't want to play the game where you put the whole long spaghetti into the pot and as it like melts, it falls in.

Yeah. As it softens, it falls in. She'd snap them in half. So you'd never have a long spaghetti? Nah. Oh, what was your childhood like? Rough. Yeah.

Rough. And more like this than. We never even had spag bol because mum didn't like it. We had, we didn't have it very often. We had to petition for it quite hard. But we had, yeah, we had another version of mum's mints and macaroni. It was like spag bol except it was macaroni in place of the spaghetti. Why?

You got more bang for your buck from macaroni. Yeah. Delicious. Yeah. Yeah. You had your mum's famous dish, though, that we had last year. Yeah. Chicken casserole.

Chicken casserole. Yeah. Rather have that than spag bol any day. That was this year, by the way. Was it? Yeah. God, time's flying, isn't it? Remember that was when I found out I had shingles in Nelson.

Now, Nelson's always associated with shingles to me. Being like, what does this look like? And you guys are like, oh, Jesus. Oh, no. Oh, no. You got with shingles to me Being like What does this look like? And you guys are like Oh Jesus Oh no You're going to go see a doctor You've got the shingles Yeah

So Time flies Chicken casserole and shingles Nelson Good times Yeah ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast

Video has popped out of Dunedin It involves Baldwin Street Or seemingly equally steep streets, you know, the ones out in that Dunedin north part of town. And the video shows, I'm assuming students or people of student age, riding wheelie bins down the hill. Now, we all remember in 2001, it was massive news because it was when

I was studying. Yeah. I didn't study in Dunedin, but I remember like my mum always, you know, it's a mum's job

to worry about you. Yeah. Like I was my second year out of home. Yeah. And a young lady was in a wheelie bin going down Baldwin Street

when she had a trailer on the side of the road. Two people were in this wheelie bin. This video is people on top of a wheelie bin going down Baldwin Street when she had a trailer on the side of the road. Two people were in this wheelie bin. This video is people on top of a wheelie bin. But back in 2001, I believe they were in the wheelie bin. Yeah, she was in it. They had a trailer. She died of her injuries.

I remember that. Yeah. And the guy that she was in it with was in Dunedin Hospital with pretty severe head injuries for a while. Wasn't your brother studying? Yep. Your brother was in Dunedin Hospital with pretty severe head injuries for a while. Because wasn't your brother studying? Yep. Your brother was in Dunedin when that happened. He was in Dunedin at the time as well. So mum was more worried about him

but he was quite sensible. Yeah. So when this video came out, I immediately thought of that girl's family. Because I remember they were on the news and everything. Oh, it was a huge story. It was massive. Well, someone died. A 19-year-old died in 2001 doing it. So that was 19 years ago.

18 years ago. 18 and a half because it was at the very start of 2001. Wow. That's crazy because I remember that. Yeah. So there's a few points. The people doing this are the first year uni students, were zero years old or had just been born when this happened. So they probably got no idea of the fact that someone's died doing that. They don't know the history of it. Surely that would be a bit of a, for want of a better word, legend.

Yeah, urban legend. Urban story. But it's not an urban legend because it actually happened, didn't it? Yeah. But surely you'd know of, but maybe not. Donate in Place have said that it's a no-no. So it's on Union Street where these videos have been filmed. Not Baldwin.

But it's out in that part of town. Yeah. So they want to stop it now before the courage of riding them on the still very steep streets, but not as steep as Baldwin. There's the move towards it. They said no one was hurt this time, but it happened before, before someone was killed. How are they stopping themselves? Just jumping off?

Because they're riding them like a sled, aren't they? Yeah, sitting on the top, lying on the top of the bin. So the wheels on the back are rolling, but at the front it looks to be, here's the other thing. That front's just riding. If you hit something, over you go.

At some speed, straight onto asphalt with no protection. And that's like, when I said I thought of the mother, the mum of the girl that passed away in 2001 has spoken saying it's pretty sad to see that this is happening again. Come on, guys.

A journalist would have rang her. I don't know. Could you imagine doing that as a job? Someone might have sent it to her if they saw it online. Yeah, but that's got to be dragged up for her again. Yeah, 100%. So someone has died doing that. Don't be bloody stupid. Stop it. Don't be bloody that. Don't be bloody stupid.

Stop it. Don't be bloody stupid. Don't be bloody stupid. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Well, a British radio announcer's made a slip-up. His name is Jeremy Vine. And not a bad slip-up, not an F-bomb slip-up. We've all done that, haven't we?

Was that the name he goes with on air? Jeremy Vine, Jezevi? Yeah, Jezevi, Vino, Viney, Jezza, whatever, really. Jeremy Vine, BBC Two. Now, we join Jeremy just as he's speaking to Anne from Chichester. Have you ever heard of that place? Huh? Chichester.

How does it spell? It's like C-H-I-C-H-E-S-T-E-R. Chichester. It's not like ShyH-I-C-H-E-S-T-E-R. Chichester. It's not like Shichester. Like Shichester. Like Sheikchester. Shichester. Shichester.

Chichester. Chichester. Chichester. Chichester. Well, anyway, speaking of Anne, who was very excited about a butterfly that had taken up residence in her bedroom to hibernate. But that's...

That's very cute. Great voting topics. If we listen to the whole conversation, we'll know how to say that place because they always say on British radio, when they're talking to someone, they always say who they are and where they're from. Well, I don't know if we join in that part of the conversation. Yeah, if we could have that earlier, we'd have that answer to this question.

The only bit that's been released is his little slip up on air. Thanks for listening. Look after that butterfly. Will do. Thank you. Thanks, Jeremy. Bye, Anne. Thank you. Thanks Jeremy. Bye Anne. Love you. Bye. Oh gosh I said, why did I say love you? That's, I'm so sorry. So he's obviously gone for an accident and said love you.

Oh don't be sorry Jeremy. No don't be sorry for spreading the word. I would have just gone with it. You know just on autopilot you'd be used to, like you'd always say love you to Mr Toyboy. Yeah. Have you ever done that? No but you know when you're at love you to Mr. Toyboy. Yeah, love you bye. Have you ever done that? No, but you know when you're at school you do that.

You call the you say I love you to the teacher and you call the mum and you're like mum. Or someone says happy birthday and you say you too.

I always do that at the airport. They're like have a safe flight to the like the Judy Frey people. I'm like you too. Walk away thinking they're not going

anywhere today. I'm not going to forget that. It must happen to the dirty free people all the time. It must happen all the time. The chicken people all the time. Producer Caitlin, you've been known to answer the phone. Yeah, I answer my personal phone with, said him hello.

And then I'm like, oh, hi, Mum. Whoops. Yeah, because you're so used to it. Every day, answering the phone like that. And I always Because like When I talk to People that call in I try and be friendly

Obviously And so I'm like Hey babes Blah blah blah And then sometimes I go hey babes To like the boys And then I'm like

Oh that's a bit weird Probably shouldn't do that You've always got to put The S on the end I know Babes Babes Less creepy

No S makes it More one on one But you've never told anyone You love them When you hang up Oh all the time I know. I know. Less creepy. Yeah. No S makes it more one-on-one. But you've never told anyone you love them when you hang up? Oh, all the time. Love you, bye. Yeah, love you, bye. Like, who is that? Then just hang up and then hopefully they just think they heard it.

Yeah. They can't have said love you, bye. Hey, it could be a nice thing for people to hear. Yeah, that's true. I think I kind of like it. We should try it later on when we do a phone-in topic. Love you, bye. Love you.

Yeah, but people get the wrong idea. What, that I love them? I don't want people falling in love with me. It's happened a lot. It happens a lot. You probably don't experience it as much as I do. Right, but it happens a lot, does it? It does, yeah.

Right. It's a little embarrassing. Megan, just before we get into this, would you be able to send me that text message you were going to send me? Oh, yeah, sure. Send me? Thanks, mate. I don't know if people could hear that, but Megan's clicking is on.

My phone, oh, my keyboard clicks. When I type a message, you can hear the clicks. I like it because then I can hear that I've definitely typed that letter. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Stop me at any point, Fletch. Click, click, click. Stop. What do you think of that?

Well, well, well, Fawn. Well, you know I've got an issue with this. Because, Megan, you've had an iPhone forever. Yeah. You know that there is kind of an unwritten rule that you turn your keyboard off unless you're a baby boomer. It's what separates us from the boomers. Who wrote this rule? I haven't seen this rule.

It's an unspoken rule that when you get a new smartphone, Apple or Samsung or whatever, you turn off the keyboard clicks. But I like it. Unless you're a mum or a dad. It's a soothing wee, it's such a soft but clicky noise. It's such a soothing noise. And it lets me know that I've typed the letter.

Click, click, click, click. In the absence of buttons. Think about the rest of us. It's like whistling. Yeah, it is. The person whistling's having a good time. No one else is having a good time. Oh my god, I always whistle. Exactly. No, but I'm a really good whistler. Are you? Wow, this is. The person whistling is having a good time. No one else is having a good time. Oh, my God, I always whistle. Exactly. No, but I'm a really good whistler. Are you?

Wow, this is confronting. This whole break is really confronting. Because this isn't always you, doesn't it? The keyboard clicks. But see, I'm used to a much louder and much more abrasive click from the baby boomers in my life. So that's like a subtle click. That's a soft click. It's a soft right.

And I've never really noticed that until this morning when we both heard it. Because usually I think you have your phone on silent. I have my phone on silent. It was accidentally on and I was sending messages.

Michael just here lightly in the background. But I like that noise. But when you're having a big conversation or a group chat, doesn't it get annoying? Maybe for you.

Yes. But, yeah, I can still recall the beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, when it was like big proper beeps on phones. On like Nokias and stuff. Yeah. And we had to click it three times to get the letter. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, that was crazy.

That is something. But these clicks are made to be heard. That's a beautiful noise, beautiful sound. No, it's not, though. So you'd vote against the keyboard clicks? Oh, I'd definitely turn it off. Producers Studio, how do we feel about the producers' clicks? Audible, would you like them silenced?

I mean, it's not that offensive. It doesn't irk me. Irk me. Irk you? It doesn't erg me. Erg you? What's the word? Erg. No, I'm indifferent. James? Yeah, I mean, I had to tell my girlfriend to turn it off a couple of days

ago, but I only just picked up on it. It wasn't like I got it straight away. Right, but you put your foot down immediately. It's good. I know, I just said, why have you got those on? And she was like, got on what? And I said the clicks. She didn't even notice it. She didn't notice it? No.

I don't like the fact that this is kind of an unwritten rule. And it's an unwritten rule. People know it, aren't ya? Nah, it's a hell no from me. What, no clicks? No clicks. What about your boyfriend Andy? Does he have the clicks on or off? He has a, he doesn't have an iPhone. Yeah.

What does he have? I don't know. It's flat. There are other phones apart from. But it doesn't click. Nah. But surely it would have keyboard sounds. He must just have them off.

Yeah, quite possibly. It's got a very nice alarm though, like very melody-ish. Melody-ish? Yeah, is that a word? Melodic. Melodic. Melodic, yeah. Does it fade in? Yeah. Because I like the alarms that fade in because it gives you time to turn it off before it's like...

That's like on the sleep thing on the iPhone. That's a fade in, but the other alarms don't have that fade in option. No. That's nuts. What kind of gives a taste of this alarm. I'm always out for a new alarm sound. It's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yes. Wow.

I really liked that. That was great. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Can we get a flat record of this and no other audio apart from... Yeah. We can sell this as a ringtone.

This is so stressful. Okay. Okay, go. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No, I like the first number. Yeah. It's like you went ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. Local body elections are happening. Megan's just been asking me some questions about local body elections and I by no means consider myself an expert on it. It's very confusing as to who you can vote for. It's why all the signs

are up everywhere. Mr Toyboy's had a lot of questions hasn't he? Well because there's heaps of signs around where we live and he was like, because there's heaps of signs around where we live, and he was like, so what's this? Like, what are they? Who are these people, and what do they want to do? And I was like, these are going for me or something. I'll let you start confidently.

These are... And it was like, how do you vote for them? I was like, um, I don't know. I've got some answers. I felt like someone would tell me If you're enrolled for the general election Then they'll send you voting papers

To the address So I don't have to go to a ballot place No Between the 20th and the 25th of September Voting documents will be delivered to households Electors You Can post the documents back to electoral officers, me,

as soon as you've voted. You're not an electoral officer. I am an electoral officer. Right. You can just open them up and change all the votes to who you give them to. Sure. So that happens between the 20th and the 25th. Then on the 12th of October They've got to be back

The voting documents have got to be back at the council before 12 o'clock Right And then results henceforth follow Within your After So you vote for the person you want to be mayor And all the councillors Oh okay

You've got a ward That that councillor covers So your councillor covers. So your councillor represents your specific area. I like to vote for councillors that want to build skate parks. Yes. You know, let's build a skate park. Now it's on you to look into these people.

Yeah, it is. It's on you to make sure you don't elect somebody who has polar opposite views to you. Yeah. And I mean, if you were running for council or mayor, you'd want to be on your best behaviour right now. Oh, yes. Because the public are watching. Oh, word.

You wouldn't want to do what City Councillor of West Hamilton, Siggy Henry, did yesterday. Siggy. Okay. Like that, Sinkin. Maybe short for Sigrid? No, with an S. Oh. But still, Siggy. It was Like that, Sinkin. Maybe short for Sigrid? No, with an S. Oh. Still Siggy.

C-I-G-G-Y. I was like, Siggy. Don't know why they call me Siggy. Yesterday, her campaign car, whilst maybe not driven by her into this location, but it's got her face on it, hasn't it? And her name. She parked in not one, but two disabled car parks. That's right. She parked right in the middle of the two of them.

They're two right beside each other, straight in, making neither accessible to people with accessibility issues. Have we definitely got confirmation that she doesn't have accessibility issues herself? I can't see her displayed. Well, she doesn't. Right. Someone might have been driving her car, but I can't see her displayed. So I've got a photo here of just how poorly parked.

She's not even in the car park. No, I know. She's like half in over two car parks. Yeah. I mean, the front tires are in the park. If there were four car parks, she would literally be taking up all of them. Yeah. It's quite an amazing park. If there were four car parks, she would literally be taking up all of them. Yeah. It's quite an amazing park.

What happened there? You might be thinking, what sort of person does that? But this is also the Hamilton City Councillor that is anti-vaccinations. She once said the measles virus doesn't actually exist. Really? All in your head. A lot of people would beg to differ at this current stage. I'd say over a thousand hospitalized individuals might beg to differ on the existence of the measles virus.

She's an anti-vaxxer. She didn't want fluoride in the water. In 2017, she said that fat people were a health risk because they might fall on you. Wow. Question migrants' abilities to know how to use a New Zealand bathroom. Right, okay. One of her wild accomplishments.

She wore a tinfoil hat to a meeting with a health representative. I mean, I'm all for interesting folk. Yeah. But maybe not on professionals. Well, that's why you've got to do your research before you tick away and vote for people in the elections. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do your research. She also wore an anti-vax t-shirt to an autism march.

Right. Like an awareness-raising march. Not like a, you're to blame for this march. Right. More just an awareness-raising march. Wow, she's a real piece. She's a real treat. Real treat.

Yeah, and it's easy to remember her name because it's Siggy. So what you shouldn't put in your mouth you probably shouldn't put on your local council. My opinion. Your opinion. My opinion. And people are entitled to their own opinion. And this political opinion has been approved by Vaughan Smith And they always give their address

Yeah 2 Graham Street, Central Auckland I like that you gave works address Yeah I drive the Maserati on the B1 basement I'm very Hosking under this I don't even think Hosking would side with that No, I don't think he would.

Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. This is good stuff. This is good stuff.

Because every day when we leave work, if Megan and I leave at the same time, we catch the lift because stairs are for people who have time. Yeah. And I have to, when we get in, you have to swipe your swipe card and then push what level of the basement when you go to. Now, there's only two levels of the basement.

I don't have to swipe to get to my level. Don't you? No, because it's where the visitors go. Because it's the top level of the bottom. Now Megan's been on B1 for ages. I was on B1 when we first moved in here. But then Tony Street started working here and then we were just like...

You were down to B2. Sorry, baldy. Blonde beats bald apparently. Yeah. Tony Street's got. Blonde beats bald, apparently. Tony Street's got your car parked. This is unacceptable. And I believe, am I correct in thinking, all the CEOs, all the management and Mike Hosking are on B1. Tony.

I see Tony all the time. We, like, catch the lift together. Wow. No more. You'll be down on B2 with me and Sam Wallace and who else is in there? Caitlin's down there. B2. Now, is that where my car park is, producer Caitlin? Because Caitlin uses my car park.

Do we not say that? You don't say that. Say that. Because I'll take it off you. Well, why am I on B1? No, well, what happens is I pick you up every morning. That's right, and we park in my car park. And we park in your car park.

It's my car park. I'll do what I want with it. In fact, I'm going to sublet it on Trade Me. You're a random stranger who works in the area. Oh, please don't. It's really useful for me. Do what I want. It's my car park.

It's in my contract. Yeah, I'm like way down the other end of the bill. I have four pages. If I actually had a car, I'd be pissed about that. I'd make up a real stink about that. So you have to walk about 100 metres. Yeah. It's horrible.

It's not 100 metres, it's like 30 metres absolute tops. My car park is like right beside the lifts. You cannot get closer. Oh, you've got a great car park. I'm like right beside the lifts, top level, like it's the best car park. It's bougie.

It was. It's closer than Hosking. It's closer, yeah. To the lift. I loved that. Well, Jo emailed me yesterday. Jo, who looks after the car parks, who I'm best friends with. Yeah.

Well, obviously not. She sent me an email saying, first of all, I have to pick up the plant that's in the mail room. She had to water it. It's looking sad. She's very upset about that. Second of all, I'm having pick up the plant that's in the mail room. She had to water it. It's looking sad. She's very upset about that. Second of all, I'm having a shuffle around downstairs in the basement car parks and was going to move you from your visitor bay down to B2.

I can show you where it is if you want, or you can pop down and have a look. What number is it? Bay 128 next to Kerry McIver. I'm from Newstalk ZB. I'm just trying to get better use of that. She drives pretty loose. I wouldn't want to park next to her. She'll scratch your car.

She, when she pulls into a car park, uses the other cars as bumpers. Yeah, she goes, I've heard, I've heard. That's what I've heard. And then she throws open her door like this. And kicks it. And it goes, crank, into the car next door. Yeah. It's pretty crazy.

She does. She does. She drives a 1980s Lada. Like those things were built to last. Like it's really hard. Yeah. She gets out and then she goes, and spits on the joy.

She does. So you've been. She cracks open a Cody's. Yeah. But she like shakes the can and opens it and just like shakes it on her face and then just like sprays it all over. Remember the last time you said things about Kerry McIver

and then she hit you up about it and you cowered like the little boy you are. I'll do it again this time if she ever hears about this. She's going to do it again. So you've been demoted like the rest of us. And it feels good, doesn't it? It does. It feels sweet.

Sweet. Well, at least I won't get nearly run over by Hosking when he hoons out in his fancy car of choice for the day. Every time I go down there, it's like, meee! I should park him next to Kerry McIver. I should sort out that mess in no time. Could we take

some calls this morning on when you've had a mini demotion? It's really brought going down a peg. Because it has brought you down. But maybe you were like, for example, you were captain of the sports team. And then you were just, because imagine that. Imagine going from captain to just a player. Regular player. You're up there on level one, and now you're down there on level two.

Bay 128. I was bay 10. That's a big demotion. Maybe people who call in could have had some sort of privilege revoked. Oh, yeah. Okay. Like a work perk taken away. Imagine having no limits on your photocopying and then all of a sudden you're limited but

nobody else got limited. Ooh. Because you're stealing printing from the work printer maybe or well no maybe they're just raining you in a bit right okay well when when did you have a mini um demotion demotion at work uh or in life oh 800.00 a life to motion oh my god a life demotion. 0800.ZM 9696. Give us a call. We're talking about those mini demotions that you've had in life or at work. Megan has been demoted at basement level and about 100 or so car parks down the rankings.

Yeah, I have to swipe to get down there now, but that's okay. Tough. Tough. Tough life. So we want to know when you got demoted. A mini demotion. Yeah. And maybe in life. So we want to know when you got demoted. A mini demotion. Yeah. And maybe in life.

Maybe at work. Someone said I was the captain of the rugby team. First game this year. Yeah. Went on holiday, came back and was not reinstated as captain. The fill-in did a good bit. That's why you've got to be careful when you go on holiday with your job or anything. Because if someone replaces you and they're better. Don't do that. They realise that you've got to be careful when you go on holiday with your job or anything because if someone replaces you and they're better...

Don't do that. They realise that you've been coasting along in your job. You've bought into management BS right there. You make people feel bad about taking holidays, so they don't want to take holidays, so they divide their life to work. No, no. You should not have any fear of going on holiday and losing your job. No, I'm just saying go on holiday if you're good.

Oh. What if you know you should? No, because if you're coasting along just saying go on holiday if you're good. Oh. What if you know you should? No, because if you're coasting along and you go on holiday and someone else comes along and does a way better job, they're like, what did she actually do? I've been coasting along for 15 years. And when you go on holiday all the time. What does he actually do?

Exactly. But here I am, the great mystery of the time. It shows. I'm not going anywhere. Some other messages of people who have been demoted. I lost access to the work bank account. I didn't do anything wrong. I got a just changed position in the company, and they said, no, you don't get to look at the work bank account anymore.

And I said, but I want to. And they said, nope, it's not in your role. So now I feel like there's just some pleb in the office who has access to the bank account but I should have access

to the bank account just to see what's going on. Why did they give you that? So do you like to be up with the play of the... I guess it's always good to know money's coming in. You're going to get paid,

maybe. Tony, when did you get a mini demotion? Oh, this is still very raw, guys. Very raw. This happened last month.

Oh, okay. So I was on a 20 gig company phone data plan. Okay. And just last month they demoted me back to 5 gig. Oh, 5 gig. Terrible. That's not enough for a week. Oh, yeah gig isn't That's not enough for a week Oh, yeah

The reason for it was because They said I spent too much time Too much time on Snapchat and other social media sites So, yeah Wait a second, they can see what you're using? What? Yeah, yeah Wow

Who knew? Yeah It was news to me, let me tell you. I bet you just kind of happily took it in silence at the time, though, Tony, rather than have any further investigations. Yeah, I'm glad they didn't probe any deeper. Yes. Brilliant, Tony, thanks for your call, mate.

Paul, what was your mini demotion? I worked for a company and had a nice company car. I've been there for about three or four years. And we were on a holiday. And when I come back, they had completely signwritten the car. Well, I don't get it. Yeah, because you've got a car. It's not signwritten.

It just looks like your cool car. But now you've got to drive around a car with your big sign on it. And everyone will look at you. And you can't speed and double park. You can't drive over roundabouts. You can't rip the fingers of people and call them a-holes that need to learn how to drive. Because then they ring up the boss and complain, don't they? They certainly do, yeah.

Hey, Paul, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. Somebody said, oh, a teacher. A teacher, they were in charge of a certain club. They don't say what club. At school. Yeah. And then one day it turns out the students had elected another teacher to be the leader of that club.

It was, um. Ouch. A bit of pill to swallow, seeing as I was doing it for nothing. In my own free time. Yeah. Fine, okay, whatever. You, you're the students.

You make the call. Who cares? So there you go, Megan. Don't feel too bad. Lots of other mini demotions going on as well. I feel much better now.

Thank you. And I'll see you at the elevator for a ride to B2. Yeah, yeah. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning

to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. 98 days away from Christmas. 98 days. So we're into double digits. Yeah. Ha!

Next weekend is Daylight Savings, by the way. A week on Sunday. Yeah. These ones, these reports are that. They're hot, Megan. They're hot off the press. Well, I started doing this ages ago and you guys just kept talking when I was trying to like do a dramatic.

I didn't know what you were doing. Oh, these reports are hot off the press. Oh, okay. I think you're blowing away the snow. So glad we got there in the end. So did I. I was blowing snow. These Christmas reports are fresh out of the oven.

Okay. You're weird sometimes. Ah! Ah! Ah! These Christmas reports are on fire! Can you go fling to fry? Someone whack the smoke alarm with a tea towel! Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!

We wanted to change their batteries, though. It's still bloody working. Yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! Okay. Oh, God's sake! Just wrap it down and tear the battery out. But remember to put it back up later.. But remember to put it back up later.

No one remembered to put it back up later. Nobody does today. And the house burnt down. Okay, we're talking about Christmas. Hot out the oven. These reports of Christmas penetration. You put it in your mouth and you burnt the roof off your mouth. Oh, you never chuck something straight in your mouth without a

pre-check. Let's go first and it's a big... That's great life advice. Just anything. Give it a little bit of a once over. Put a finger on it to make sure that it's not too hot. A big kia ora in international. Kia ora. A Christmas kia ora

to Stephanie Lockie who has reported Christmas penetration from Copenhagen. Oh, okay. The whole half of the store was Christmas all the way down to the back and a beautiful Christmas display there by the Danish. Well done. They know Christmas, don't they? Okay, well, there is...

Ont Santa Claus. That's what they say. It's coming. It's coming. Sorry to any Danish listeners. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

Let's have some schnapps. It's coming. We're Danish, don't you know? Next up, it's Santy. Let's have some schnapps. It's Santy Claus. We're Danish, don't you know? Next up, it's a g'day mate to Emma McGregor in Australia. As she said, Christmas penetration has hit Bunnings. Look what they've got. And it is our first report.

And this always puts a big bump in our percentage. Yep. Shazam. Outdoor inflatable Santa. Oh, wow. That's wow. Surely the Bunnings and Mitre 10s in New Zealand, have we not had any reports?

Because they're normally starting about now. They're hot onto it. Well, maybe Bunnings and Brisbane was leading the charge and we'll see it on some mega, mega hardware stores right here in New Zealand. I was trying to think of what they call themselves. They're a hardware store, aren't they? Hardware mega stores. They're a hardware mega, mega, mega, mega store.

Untie Bunnings in Copenhagen. Untie Bunnings. Unt its Bunnings. Oh, they do the wunderbare sausage. Oh, should we go to Unt Bunnings for the wunderbare sausage and bread? Buntings. Buntings. Yeah, they don't have a double N sound. Oh, should we go to Aunt Bunting's for the Wondibar sausage and bread? Bunting's. Bunting's. Yeah, they don't have a double N sound in Spanish.

They do, don't they? Bunting's. Do Bunting's want any sausage? Next up, oh, God. It's a Morinan, no. I was going to say top of the Morinan, but that's Irish. This is Scottish. It's a Ailase to you, Rebecca, in Scotland.

Christmas penetration coming in from Aberdeen, Scotland. We've got several Christmas scratchies. Oh, okay. The Christmas Advent Calendar 250,000 pound scratchy is out. That's the prize money, not how much it costs. The poor Scottish last behind the counter gave me a strange look when I started taking photos of all the Christmas scratchies. And we really appreciate that sort of commitment.

I don't like when I say Christmas scratchy now because it seems to me they're going to be around a while. So will all the prizes still be there when it's Christmas? Big prizes won early. You can check how many instant Kiwi massive prizes have been won, eh, for a certain brand. Do you know that website? I think so. Don't you? You can go along and like check your... They can

tell you in store. The type of... How many are left, major prizes. They do a little print off on the yellow lotto paper, don't they? They do, yeah. Yeah. While we're international, we'll pop to the UK where Elizabeth Campbell has told us that Megabus, which is making travel simple apparently, they have sent an email saying, sorry for using the C word in this email. This C word is Christmas.

And apparently their MD, managing director, is very excited about Christmas. And so he wants everyone to know what the Meg bus schedule is going to look like around Christmas. Probably the most boring aspect of Christmas. How it's going to affect public transport on those statutory holidays. A lot of international listeners with Christmas funerals. What about local reports? Well, locals shan't be left out. It's down at the Hmongahwai locals Facebook page.

Rose, I can't say that's kind of cut off, but Rose wants to let us know that Christmas is coming and they're taking appointments for Christmas at Heads of Hair.

Now, Heads of Hair has got a Z on the end. These are your classic, that's what you do if you're a hairdresser and you want to add a little bit of Jenny Saquat

to your salon. You put a Z in where an S might have been. And that's 7 Wood Street. I'll give out their phone number. That is 431 4981 if you want to make a Christmas appointment. It's free advertising.

For handsome hair. Come on, guys. They're just a wee business. And finally, from Fork and Brewer in Wellington, Tash has let us know that Fork and Brewer, which is a bar situation by the looks of things, has a Christmas tree up. Oh, that's too early.

No way. They've beaten you. They've beaten Megan to the punch. Yeah, I do it at the end of October. Well, we're not even at October. No. We're at... into the punch. Yeah, I do it at the end of October. Well, we're not even at October. No. We're at halfway through September, and Fork and Brewer and Wellington have already got a Christmas tree up.

Well, let's punch all this into the Christmas calculator and see what we've got. Has anyone seen the wrapping paper? Christmas penetration is at 35% It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM

There's been an insane increase In the amount of complaints about banks In the last year It's gone up exponentially Complaints to the banking. Oh, what's one? Who's Danish, I believe. Yeah, and a woman.

What's the whole organisation, isn't it? But there's the head. Well, should we say ombudsperson? You should be, yeah. Because we say firefighter now to include females who are bravely putting their lives on the line. But isn't ombudsman one word? Yes.

Okay. It says fireman and policeman. Ombudsman. An ombudsman, an ombudsperson or an ombud or public advocate is an official. Let's go to ombud. Who is charged with representing the interests of the public by investigating and addressing complaints of maladministration. Well, I'm particularly woke,

so maybe you guys will be ready for this change in like a few years. We'll just call them an ombud. Ombud. Ombud. An ombud. Okay. Ombud.

Nah, you don't want to be called an ombud. Sounds chubby. An ombud person. An ombud person. They're like, oh, there's one ombud. I'd be like, hey! That's who the monkey forest is and you do your yoga and barley.

Oobud ombud. You're the ombud of Ubud. So lots of banking complaints have gone up. I think it's because there's been all those stories about how much money banks make. So you're like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll complain. Yeah. I'll get something out of this.

They're making billions of dollars off us, aren't they? Yeah. A man, this is probably, of all the complaints, this is quite an interesting story. A man ordered a new debit card. Yep. Correct me if I'm wrong. Functions like a credit card,

but you can only use the money that it's got in there. Correct. Bingo. So his neighbour, I don't know how, must have been rifling through his post every day. Yeah. And just happened to come across this card, opens it, sees it's a debit card.

Yeah. Pre-loaded with PIN. Yeah, because if you're getting a replacement card. Yeah, it comes pre-loaded with PIN, right? With your PIN number. Some of them do. Yeah. So you just need to put it into a machine and that activates it.

Now, he knew the guy well enough that he had maybe been to coffee with him or at some stage over his shoulder had seen him enter his pin code. Or maybe it had been a pin code for this guy's something else in this guy's life. Yeah, or maybe he had trusted his neighbour with. Maybe it was one way through. Feed the cat, come over, the burglar alarm code is 5-8. Were you just about to read out your pin number? The first number was

And then I panicked You're like 5, 8, I don't know No, I went 5 and then I was like, don't say your real one 8, and then I was like, is that my real one? And then I panicked, so Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Beep, beep, beep, beep That's the code, come over and do it

yeah god now there's only bloody 1000 possibilities of my pin code if someone gets a hold of it so come over

feed the cat pin code's beep beep beep beep so when this guy pilfers his debit card yep he somehow knows his pin

over the next 5 days he spent $26,000 oh my god so what he complained to the bank well he went looking for it because he's like I've ordered it Over the next five days, he spent $26,000. Oh, my God. So why? He complained to the bank. Well, he went looking for it because he's like, I've ordered it. Where is it?

Yeah. He went looking for it and they said, we've sent it. And he was like, well, it's not here. I'll cancel it. Yeah. But it was too late. Had he not logged on to internet banking? Who has $26,000 in their checking account?

That's my question. Good Lord. That's crazy. Crikey, Moses. He checking account? That's my question. Good Lord. That's crazy. Crikey, Moses. He must have been like a old mate. Unless it was in a savings account, because you can have a couple on each one. Maybe.

Yeah. I've never had an account with that much money in it, but I wouldn't have it anywhere accessible to my... Well, he didn't think it was accessible to anyone either, though, did he? So the bank have said because the offender had their PIN number correct, they could not help and referred him to the police. Really? The police found out who was responsible, but then that person...

Had spent the money. Disappeared. Oh, so they can't even find this person? No. So they went back to the bank and the bank was like, nah, mate, told you once, told you twice. Get out. Keep your PINs. Go see the ombud, nah, mate. Told you once, told you twice. Get out. Keep your pin secret.

Go see the ombud. Ombud. But that person must have been good enough friends with them to know their pin number. That's the thing. If it's the neighbour, you know, who stole it. Yeah. Surely they can track him down.

They'll be able to track him down, right? Because it's a criminal matter. They stole $26,000 of this guy's money. You're not getting that back though, are you? No, apparently not Apparently not So you're saying that when I Like say I went and got coffee

And you're like, that's my pin number I can just like go rogue And then the bank would be like I'm not getting it back I don't believe the bank will pay out either Or help you out if your pin number's something like Your birthday or 1, two, three, four. Yeah, there was some cases of that.

They had things that weren't. Because do you remember we were working... Yeah. Someone had their... Someone walked in off the street into our old offices

where we used to work and took somebody's FBOS and then... Because they had the purse. Yeah. They took the purse, didn't they? No, they just took the wallet out of the purse because they didn't notice it was gone straight away. Oh, right. And then they went on their own. Stop saying purse. Yeah. They took the purse, didn't they? No, they just took the wallet out of the purse

because they didn't notice it was gone straight away. Oh, right. And then they went on their own. Stop saying purse. It's handbag. No, it's a purse. It was an online bank. She called it a purse.

She did call it a purse. And she was accusing everybody of stealing, but it turns out that her PIN code was her birth date. And they tried. And that's one of the first ones people try when they steal you. Yeah. They tried your birthday. Oh, so they had her birthday hands And they tried. And that's one of the first ones people try when they steal your... Yeah. They tried your birthday. Oh, so they had her

birthday license. They had her driver's license. Oh my God. And so there's nothing the bank could do. They're like, well, tough. Don't make your pin number your birthday.

Yeah. It's not... You're both looking at me like... No, no, no. It's not my birthday. I'm not that silly. Or was I knew a boomer, a baby boomer,

who, you know, in the back where you sign it, they'd written their pin code down in the bottom corner. Oh, God. I was like, you can't write that there. And they're like, yeah, but I always forget it. I was like, yeah, but you realise that's just telling everybody what your pin code is.

They could think that's anything. They're not going to think a four-digit pin written on an old mate's Air Force card is anything other than the pin. No. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Icelandic horse. The Icelandic horse.

It's different to... It is very different, Megan. You should look it up. The Icelandic horse. It's different to... It is very different, Megan. You should look it up. They're very beautiful. Okay. Yeah, because I don't want a horse, but if I could get an Icelandic horse, I'd probably get an Icelandic horse.

Can you show me, Megan? I don't want to Google. It's like, imagine a beautiful image of like a horse running through. Have they got longer manes? Well, they have got a bit woolier over time. Look at this one. To adapt to the cold climate.

Yeah, the cold climate of Iceland. Oh, yeah, that's a lovely horse, isn't it? They're a little stouty, though. They're small. They are smaller because less surface area. So they don't get as cold. Oh, yeah. Because if you're a bigger horse, you've got more surface area.

So you've got a little smaller, but it's not a pony. And Icelandic people get very angry if you call their horses ponies. Because it kind of looks like a roided out pony. Yeah, well, that's why. It's not a pony because it's got a different face. Right. It's still got a horse's face. Okay.

Right. But today's, and there's lots to learn about the Icelandic horse. I've actually learned, I don't know, I had real trouble picking what horse fact I was going to give you about the Icelandic horse. Okay. For example, if an Icelandic horse leaves Iceland, it can never go back. Why? It can never go back. Quarantine laws.

Yeah. Icelandic horses have not been exposed to any horse illnesses that affect horses all around the world. If you're going to take your own riding boots or saddle, I don't think you can take those things that go in their mouth. Okay. What are they called? Mouth guards. Reins and bits. You can't take your own. And even your saddle, there's got to be thorough cleaning and quarantining. Right.

So yeah, if you're an Icelandic horse and you leave, you can never go home. It's quite sad when you think about it. Yeah. So the best Icelandic horses never compete at competitions outside of Iceland. Because if it's a really good one, you'll never be able to take it home. Right. Yeah. So like the best Icelandic horses never compete at competitions outside of Iceland because if it's a really good one, you'll never be able to take it home.

Right. Wow, that's crazy. And they've been there for over a thousand years. They got taken there by the Vikings and they slowly started like breeding them specifically

to the ones that suited the environment the best and thus the Icelandic horse was born. Right. Shorter in nature as you've pointed out there, Fletch.

Stouter but stouter, but also stronger, more muscular. There's lots of great things to love about the Icelandic horse, but today's fact of the day is that rather than the standard

three or four gates of the common horse. I don't know what a gate is. A walk, a trot, and a canter. Oh, okay. The different ways they can walk, because a walk is

a bit of trot, so they look quicker than a canter's a fool okay. The different ways they can walk because a walk is is specific to the Icelandic horse called the Tolt. It's the Icelandic word for walk, but apparently it's been developed on the Icelandic horse because of the rocky ground that the Icelandic horse would have to cover. How many times have I said Icelandic horse in this broadcast? A lot. It feels like it's lost meaning to me, so I'm imagining it's turned into one of those word puddings for everybody else.

But the Tolt involves walking in the back legs. It's very unusual to watch. I would encourage you now, wherever you find yourself, unless you're driving, note this for later, Google T-O-L-T, Icelandic horse. Tolt, Icelandic horse. There's a video that comes up with all five gates. Yeah, it's quite a good video.

Is it interesting, Megan? Yeah, it is. It's just weird. Look at this horse. This is the tolt fletch. It looks like it's been sped up on the video. It looks like, but you look. The front half, I'll cover it.

It looks like it's running, and then I'll cover the front half, and it looks like it's trotting. It's doing two different things with each half of its body. Okay, I wasn't into this fact until I saw that video. It's so funny. I didn't care least into this fact until I saw that video. It's so funny. I didn't care least about this horse, but seeing that is hilarious. The horses of Iceland. Wow.

Now I'm just, and they're gorgeous horses. I don't have a lot of time for horses. These ones are, these are very, very, now I want an Icelandic horse. You go to Iceland and marry a horse. You can't do that, silly. It's a different species. But, yeah, they're a cool a horse. You can't do that, silly. It's a different species. But yeah, they're a cool looking horse and many, many things to learn.

And I actually learnt this from the What's On in Iceland tourism page and I've logged on and Thor has messaged me. He's like, we can discuss any aspect of a visit to Iceland. What can we do for you? The Thor.

The Thor, yeah. Wow. Yeah, the Thor, yeah. Wow. Yeah, the god of thunder. Brilliant. He's taking time out of his day to be a support agent for the Icelandic Tourism Board. So today's fact of the day is the gorgeous Icelandic horse has four, has five gates.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. A man, a New Zealand man. Yes. A man, a New Zealand man. Yes. A man, a New Zealand man. He got stoned on with marijuana. With marijuana. And he bought $100 of his favourite

lollies. Oh, blaze. $100. Wow. Of his favourite lollies. So, a childhood classic. Single lolly? Oh, so you know what the lolly is? Yep. I want you to have a guess. And it's a childhood classic. Single lolly. Oh, so you know what the lolly is? Yep. I want you to have a guess.

And it's a lolly. Snakes. Minties. Sour cola. Hold it just a minute. Minties? They're not my favourite lolly. I love minties.

You know that. Jelly beans. I wouldn't buy a hundred bucks worth of minties. Fruit jibs. I'd buy a hundred bucks worth of them. Coke bottles. Yes. Like a bulk buy 100 bucks worth of minties. Fruit tubes. I'd buy 100 bucks worth of them. Coke bottles. Yes. Like a bulk order.

You're not saying no. Have we got it? No, crocodiles. Oh, I wish I'd done. Macy's crocodiles. I thought you were done. So we actually- Also made some other orders.

From the dairy. While he was doing it. Yeah. Got some tomato shaped- Oh no, he bought a tomato shaped sauce dispenser. So he bought a KG sauce dispenser He bought a KG Of rainbow aeroplanes How much do you think that cost him?

Rainbow aeroplanes? Do you mean jet planes? Yeah, yeah $11 for a KG Where's that from? Is he getting a bulk order from like One of the wholesalers? Rainbow Peaches and Creamy

We had a few of them I love Peaches and Creamy, we had a few of them and some were yuck. Oh, yeah. I love Peaches and Creamy. Macy's Banana Dots? I've never, I don't know what a banana dot is. Macy's Banana Dots.

That's not like a banana thing, eh? It's probably what they call them. Dots. They're not really dots. Those fake bananas. No. Oh, they, so they would be the same

as the fake bananas, but they're just circles. Oh, right. Instead of making them look like bananas. Right, okay. But the major purchase was the Macy's crocodiles. Yum. $100.

The jelly, the sort of like a, yeah, jelly crocodiles. They're quite hard and chewy. I'd rather go a jet plane. No, jet planes are harder. Are you thinking of the right, like a snake? Like a gummy? Yeah, I said gummy. Jet planes are a little bit harder than a gummy croc.

Yeah, but the gummy crocs are hard. They're really tough and chewy. No, they were always. They're chewier than a jet plane. They are so. Maybe because they were thicker, but they didn't have the. No, they're real. Jet planes have got a hard outside.

No, they'd be the same. You're arguing that they're literally jet planes and crocodiles would be the same. They are harder and chewier than a jet plane. Macy's are the people that make those sour feijoas and sour. Oh, yeah, those are nice. Oh, my God. And the sour grapes. So how is this news?

Slow news, though. Spend $100 on lollies. Matt, New Zealand, like all around the world, you know, there's war and there's this oil thing in Saudi Arabia. There's Brexit.

I know, but we can't talk about that all the time. It's depressing. New Zealand news. Man gets stoned and buys $100 of lollies. It's good stuff. It is good news. It is good news.

It's kind of like a good story. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. So I was wondering this morning, if you were going to drop a hundred bucks on lollies and you're only allowed to pick one kind, what would you drop a hundred bucks on?

And you're not allowed to get a mix back. You're not allowed to say a mix. It's got to be one specific one. Do I have to eat them? Is this to eat it once? No You're not allowed to say a mix. It's got to be one specific one. Do I have to eat them? Is this to eat it once? No. Because you couldn't eat 100. Okay, so this is one to go back to over and over again.

Yeah. Those Macy's Sour Range are like my favourite, but you can't get a mix. Macy's do do a cracking gummy. Macy's are the ones that supplied all the dairies, eh? You can get them at the supermarket. In the bags, yeah. Yeah, but I know you're still into that.

Yeah, lolly dolla mix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some at the supermarket. In the bags. Yeah, but I know you're still into that. Yeah, lolly dolla mixture lollies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of the times. I actually don't want to say because I feel like I'm going to get judged. I'm going to say fruit tubes. Okay, well, mine's not as shit as that. No, no, I want to hear his reasoning. I want to hear his reasoning.

Fruit tubes. Because they're real yum. Wow. That's all. That's one of my go-to bag lollies. Or those natural. I don't like the sugary exterior. But we don't tight wear them.

We don't make them hard enough. Okay, what about the bag of jibs in no time? What about the bag of dinosaurs? The all naturals one. Don't chop the dinosaur, Danny. Yeah. Maybe those. Those are fruit jibs.

Those are pretty good. That's a gummy though, right? I like the gummy. I like the gummy. Your shapes. You're getting a gummy. I'm so disappointed in you. Well, what would you do?

I would, it's actually, I think it's classed under a boiled lolly. You know those? Are you a nana? Okay, you just, I would, before you continue, I would like to remind you when you said it's boring jubes, you're going for a boiled sweet. All your jubes taste the same. I like the rich flavour of a raspberry drop. You would spend $100 on a hard raspberry drop.

A raspberry drop. You're a bloody lunatic. You cannot beat a raspberry drop. Or one of the Macy's. Oh, that is disappointing. Is it not producer birth? That is disappointing. He went fruit jubes. Fruit jubes. Yeah, but how

old is this old lady? Miscellaneous coloured ball. Oh, James would be Irish moss. No, I'd be a raspberry drop over a fruit jube any day of the week. Thank you. The whole time. But what would your ultimate lolly be if you had to drop a hundred bucks on it? A hundred bucks,

it would probably be a Skittle, I reckon. Oh, I love Skittles. Oh, me and James can share lollies. $100 on Skittles. That's a good choice. That's a lot.

That's a lot of Skittles. No, but wait a second because could I go Maltesers because I didn't think that's a lolly. No, that's chocolate. No, that's a chocolate, eh? Because that would be

my ultimate. It's confectionery. But then could I go M&M's? That's chocolate, eh? That's not a lolly. It's a's chocolate. That's a chocolate egg, because that would be my ultimate. It's confectionery. But then could I go M&M's? That's chocolate egg. That's a candy covered chocolate. It's not really a lolly. Skittles is a good choice because they come in a mixed bag. Yuck.

Too many, you just go. There's too many yellow and orange. I'm going a tangy stick. That's the actual name of it. What's a tangy stick? You know how you get a sore because you're salivating? Because I'm thinking a tangy stick. That's the actual name of it. What's a tangy stick? So they're like... Yeah, you can get grape from my neighbour. You know how you get a sore because you're salivating? Because I'm thinking of you.

They're those coloured sticks. Yeah, and they're like kind of... Yeah, they're tangy and you get them in like purple and pink and... And the purple tastes like grape. Oh, they're so good. And you get them from the dairy in the little plastic bags? Oh, yeah, those are okay. Anya, what about you?

Hit me with a pink smoker. Oh, my God. Okay, you lose. You lose. Yum, yum, yum. I'm not going to do anything and you're going for a pink smoker. Yeah.

I can just imagine you and Megan hanging outside the RSA. You've got your pink smoker. She's got her boiled lollies and then you go back in for bingo. See you outside sneaking a menthol. You're like, all right, we better get back in there. They're going to notice we're out.

And they'll never know we've had a smoke when I have one of these pink smokers. I tell you, I bought $100 worth of them. Yum, yum, yum. Wow, okay. So you actually want to take calls on this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you've seen the fierce debate that this has kicked off.

Okay, so you get to drop $100 on lollies. One lolly. One lolly. One lolly kind. What is it? Well, as the world is gripped with serious news, talks like Brexit, oil attacks. Climate change.

Climate change. New Zealand news, a man gets stoned and spends $100 on lollies. So we want to know if you had to spend $100 on lollies, what you're spending your $100 on? Only allowed one type of lolly. One brand, one type, one flavor. Don't just shake your head at me. You're the only person.

Oh, so those, you know, those raspberry spinning, the colorful spinning top wheels. Yuck. Oh, my God. Those are so yum. Aren't they called flying saucers? Yeah, they're so yum. They're so basic.

Beck, $100 on one kind of lolly, what would it be? Okay, milk bottles. Hang up on Beck. We don't need any more of this nonsense. I don't mind milk bottles, but not like $100 worth. Yeah, not the wrapped ones, just the little. Now, the wrapped ones and milkshakes are not equally as trash. Trash versus trash.

People that like milk bottles are the people that like the black jelly beans, eh? No, no. Oh, okay. No black jelly beans. No, no, no. They're people who can't handle any more flavor than vanilla. Just vanilla, thanks. I don't want to go too crazy.

Thanks, Bex. Leanne, $100 on one type of lolly. Giant Jeffers. Oh, yeah. Not bad. That was a go-to at my school, Cantine. You promised boys high school. Jeffers?

A Jeffers? Yeah, they're like a lolly. Yeah. Yeah, because it's got the candy shell. Almost like a chocolatey, almost more like an M&M. Yeah, but not bad. No, I'll give you that. I love the Jeffers. Yeah, thanks, Leanne. got the candy shell. Almost like a chocolatey, almost more like an M&M. Yeah, but not bad. No, I'll give you that. I love the Jaffa.

Yeah, thanks, Leanne. Jess, $100 on what type of lolly? Zombie Chews. What is Zombie Chews? A Zombie Chew. It's like a strip of like sour lolly, but it's not too sour. Oh, yeah, okay. It's sour, but it's not too sour.

What was your favourite? On the inside, it's more sour, but on the outside, it's kind of just like more plain lolly. What flavour are you going for? I think there was a green one that I'd be down for. Yeah, kind of like a sour take on K-bars. Sour apple? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. More like a tape than a K-bar. Somebody said the bricks. You know the sour bricks? They're red and white. Those are absolutely delicious. Thank you, Jess. The phones and text machine are running hot at the moment.

We're going to come back next and debate lollies some more. Michaela, good morning. Good morning. All right, you get. We're doing... I don't know how... We're talking about this guy that got stoned and spent $100 on lollies. You're allowed $100 to spend on one type of lolly.

What kind of lolly are you buying? Definitely the licorice raspberry twisters. The wonka one. Oh, yeah. They're nice. I don't know if I could do $100. I love raspberry licorice. I think we've established that you two don't know lollies at all.

I'm with you. Old hard-boiled sweets over here. Raspberry licorice is like a sherbet-y inside. Is that what we're talking about here? That's a sherbet fizz. She's just talking about the raspberry twisters. Michaela, thank you. Luana, you've got $100 to spend on a lolly.

What kind? The black and white penguins. I'm not familiar. Oh, they're little chewies Well you need to get to the shop Okay Yeah so they're like a jelly lolly Oh yeah I'm seeing a picture

Are they kind of like Ooh are they licorice? No they're like a berry Oh okay They look like They're more berry flavoured Right Yeah

Okay They've got some really photogenic ones As they're like display one And then you click on them And they just Look like a penguin that's been chewed on by an orca. Thanks, Lorna.

Bede, you've got $100 to spend on lollies. What kind? Sour worms. Yeah. I'm not against the idea. I'm not against that. They're a crowd pleaser. Yeah.

Just like Coke bottles? Yeah. Yeah. I want to have them every day just about in the tractor. Oh, you do have a little supply in the tractor? Yeah, most days. What about ant speed? No.

No ants. You've got to run a little sustainer. What brand of sour worms are you going for? The healthy choice ones that you can give to your kids. Healthy choice. They got us all with the name in there because I don't believe they're that healthy. Brilliant. Bede, thank you.

Chris, you've got $100 to spend on lollies. What kind? Yeah, look, I reckon Starburst Squirts. I thought I had the Ultimate Lolly and then people have said some bloody good ones, though. Yeah, I know. It's hard, isn't it? Do they still make a Starburst Squirt, Chris? No, they're not.

They're not made anymore. So it would be like the Ultimate $100, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. For those who never had a Starburst the ultimate $100, wouldn't it? Yeah. For those who never had a Starburst Squirt, how would you describe it? It's like a dewy jube, and then on the inside when you bite into it. It's like a squirt of juice in your mouth. It's like a little bit of molten lolly.

Yeah, but it was a smooth outside. It wasn't a jube like a sugary. Oh, no. No. Not a sugar coating. And they came in sour. Oh, did they? Okay.

Yeah, the squirt itself was quite a surprise then, wasn't it? Quite sour. Exactly, exactly. Sunday treats. Quite tangy on the tongue there, as I recall. Okay, well, obviously you can't spend your $100 on those because they don't exist anymore, but what would you go for next then, Chris? Oh, sour Coke bottles.

Oh, yeah. I love that. You're a sensible guy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? I can't say you're a sensible guy.