ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 18 2019
Episode Date: September 17, 2019Megan walked for an hour to get lollies, living near your parents and when did you wear something wrong?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan. I want to know what this
coach was betting on. First try. First drinks break. Sent home from the World Cup.
Old mate, looks like he loves a gamble.
Who is he the coach for?
Assistant coach for Wales.
Oh, right, so under getting.
So apparently the regulations read,
no connected person shall directly or indirectly bet
and or attempt to bet on the outcome of any aspect of any connected event and or receive or attempt to receive blah blah payment. Right.
So he must have just put a bet on them.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he knows or was, like, fixing the game, right?
He just wanted to have a bet.
Well, yeah, because it would be hard to rig a rugby game.
Like, they rig cricket games all the time.
Because batsmen can just get out, can't they?
But if it's something you could directly have a hand in.
Like?
Substitute or...
Can you bet on anything?
Like, first to be sent off or like...
Yeah, I think so, right?
Yeah.
You can bet on pretty much bloody anything.
Anything, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, but first try
is pretty hard to manipulate.
Yeah.
First
born child
after half time.
And what a player has...
Not impossible.
It's not impossible.
Sure.
No, it's not impossible.
You know,
one of them's
partner is pregnant. Ever the impossible. You know, one of them's partner is pregnant.
Ever the possibility.
Think about that one.
Well, the Rugby World Cup starts this weekend in Japan.
New Zealand versus South Africa this weekend.
Yeah, some of the game times are a bit late, hey?
Well, for me anyway.
That's like 10 o'clock, right?
Yeah.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That's past my bedtime.
Yeah, nah.
But then some of them are at a good time, like during the day and stuff.
Are they?
Yeah.
You still won't care, will you?
We'll host playing.
All Blacks games.
Yeah.
They do the huck before every game, eh?
Yeah.
I'll watch that part.
You know, I'm a big fan of that.
Huge fan of the anthem.
And then it's bath time, baby.
It's bath season.
If we lose to South Africa, does that mean we just lose out on points, right? It's bath time, baby. It's bath season. If we lose to South Africa,
does that mean we just lose out on points, right?
It's points at the moment, right? It's pool play, yeah.
Let's not talk like that, though.
Sorry, I'm just...
It's just a query.
You know I have to put up with South Africans.
Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
They do support the All Blacks,
but they also sing the South African national anthem.
It's very strange.
Weird.
But then if South Africa won, would they be also happy?
Nah, I don't think so.
They can't lose really though.
Nah.
They cheer for the All Blacks.
So if we lose, they're like, oh.
Yeah.
Yay.
It's strange.
And then sometimes they wear their Springboks jerseys.
It's a very confusing time.
So they support the Springboks unless the Springboks are playing the All Blacks and then they support the All Blacks.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Okay, right.
If the Springboks are playing anyone else.
The Springboks.
Yeah.
Right.
It's very confusing.
But as long as they support the All Blacks,
I'm okay with it.
Hmm.
I'm backing Georgia.
It's about time they pulled one out of the bag,
this World Cup.
You always love a Disney underdog, don't you?
Yeah, watch your space, baby.
All right, you lot, listen up.
It's story time.
Three news headlines.
Vaughn and Megan decide one of the following three.
Then we'll delve into that story.
Headline one, cougars on the prowl.
Cougars on the prowl. Cougars on the prowl.
Headline two, Florida couples unlucky Friday the 13th.
And headline three, lawmaker nil, pigeon one.
Lawmaker nil, pigeon one.
Yes.
What was story number two?
Florida couples unlucky Friday the 13th. Pigeon One. Yes. What was story number two? Florida couple's
unlucky Friday the 13th.
Do you want the Pigeon One?
Yeah, I think so.
Lawmaker and the Pigeon One.
You want a bit of a
pigeon story?
Pigeon.
Yeah.
Okay.
Go with that.
Alright.
It's the wrong link, isn't it?
That'd All right. It's the wrong link, isn't it? That would be right.
Yeah.
No, I've got it here.
Let me just do a quick Google.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I found it.
He's laughing to fill the space.
I don't know what else to do.
That's good from you. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma.
Well, we go now to Chicago,
where a Chicago Transit Authority stop,
I guess otherwise known as a train stop,
or a train stop,
has become known to some as the Pigeon Poop Station.
I know this story.
It's great, isn't it?
So good.
So there's obviously a lot of concern about the fact
that people are getting pooped on and that it is a messy situation.
So WBBM-TV reported they went down
and they were talking to the head of Democratic State,
Representative Jamie Andrade.
Now, he was discussing the problem
with a reporter
outside the Irving Blue Park line,
Irving Park Blue Line stop,
about the pigeons
pooping on everyone
when this happened.
Hopefully they'll...
Did I just get?
Yep.
I did, didn't I?
That was a pigeon relieving itself on state representative Jamie Andrade
Right on cue, he was just bad-mouthing them
Birds are a chronic problem around the Irving Park blue line
So, yeah, as you can imagine
Right, as he's talking about it, he gets one right on the head
Pigeons like stuff you, mate So, yeah, as you can imagine. Talking about it, he gets one right on the head.
Pigeon's like, stuff you, mate.
And then they just cut back to the pigeon and he's just like.
So, yeah, I don't know what they're going to do. Build a bigger roof or something or put those, you know, those pigeon spikes?
Yeah.
You see, they're like clear plastic.
Because they take a little while to get used to them.
Like when you first put them down, they come screaming in still and hit them.
They don't see them.
After they impale themselves.
Ooh.
And it's only after you lose Uncle Cuckoo to the spikes
that you realise that you can't go there.
And that's why Uncle Cuckoo won't be at Christmas with us this year.
He got impaled on some anti-landing spikes.
And it's fitting because his wife, of course,
Aunty...
She was eaten by rats last year,
so at least they're together again at last.
Yeah.
Lightful.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
So there is a new place available on Airbnb.
Actually, it will be available on October 1st at noon.
A reservation slot will open up for two guests
to book one night stay for the 26th of November.
Just one night?
Yeah.
And it's not even like heaps.
It's $187 per night? Yeah. And it's not even like heaps. It's $187 per night.
Okay.
For two people to stay in Highclere Castle.
Highclere Castle.
I know what that is.
Which is the castle in Downton Abbey.
Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen, in approximately two hours, ten minutes time.
Yeah.
Fact of the day about Downton Abbey today.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Very interesting fact of the day about Downton Abbey.. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Very interesting fact of the day about Downton Abbey.
Already you could say a Downton Abbey heavy show.
We're bookending the show with a little Downton Abbey, baby.
I've never seen an episode.
But it looks like, I mean, it's BBC, isn't it?
So it's always.
Caitlin, have you watched Downton Abbey?
Downton Abbey.
I feel like Caitlin would watch it.
And Ternania, have you watched Downton Abbey?
Oh, I feel like Tanya would be into it.
Yeah, with our nanolineal.
I would have thought you would have watched this.
I thought this would have been right in your wheelhouse.
What about Mum?
Have you been watching it when Mum's been watching?
By proxy?
No comment.
So you're semi-familiar with the story behind Downton Abbey.
Nah, not really.
Now, Mum's a big fan.
I was going to take her to that movie.
Apparently the movie's really raunchy. What, they did a movie? Downton Abbey. Yes, Downton Abbey? Nah, not really. Now, Mum's a big fan. I was going to take her to that movie. Apparently the movie's really raunchy.
What, they did a movie?
Downton Abbey at the moment?
Yeah, Downton Abbey at the moment.
The King and Queen.
At the moment.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Yeah, apparently it's quite raunchy.
King and Queen coming to Downton.
Right.
It's just before World War...
Because that's the idea, right?
It's World War I.
Right.
And then the gap between there
and like World War II.
Right.
Is where it's set.
I don't know.
That's what I'm thinking.
So it's a massive castle, and it is only one room that you can book.
So are they only doing one night as a promotion,
or will you be able to book this forever?
No, so this is one night stay,
but it doesn't mean that it's not going to happen again.
And I don't know how they're just going to open it up
and then the first person to get it.
It's not even like an option.
It's an Airbnb promo, right?
Yeah, it must be.
Right.
Have you guys used Airbnb much?
Because I used it recently and I'm a little eh about it.
You're over it.
Well, because I did like maybe five of them,
whereas I'd normally stay and, you know, get like a hotel or a motel or whatever.
Yeah.
But it's like you've got to message the people.
And then they're like, when are you coming?
And you're like, I don't know, after my plane lands, maybe an hour later.
And then they're like, okay, I'll wait for you.
And then you've got to message them and meet them.
And then they give you a – because they want five stars.
They start telling you like this is a light switch, this is a tap.
Where is it?
I don't know if it was Airbnb
but something like that
when we went to Bali
recently
and yeah the guy was like
are you familiar with TVs
and me and Mark
my friend were like
very familiar
with TVs
he's like well you're
gonna love this one
he was almost like
a TV salesman
but yeah like
light switches
here's the button
to turn it on
it's like okay
look I'll figure that out
just leave and I'll give you five stars It's like, okay, look, I'll figure that out. Just leave.
And I'll give you five stars.
It's like a talkative Uber.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't do it because I don't like talking to people.
But then what if this one, you arrive and they're like, good day, good day, sir.
Well, they are putting on quite a.
They put on the ritz, put on the show.
Okay, that would be pretty cool.
So you get a butler and all newspapers are ironed.
You must wear cocktail dress to dinner.
Iron newspapers?
You get a tour of the whole castle.
But you have to, it sounds like you have to, you know, put on a bit of a...
Wow, I demand that my Herald Today that I read is ironed.
Who's got an iron?
Well, then you would ruin the paper ironing it.
No, it's paper.
No, it's paper.
Then the print would run.
They're not going to steam iron it.
It's just like going to press it.
You're pressing that button that just puts a giant wet patch on your shirt.
You're not going to have to press that.
No.
No.
Can you just do a dry one, can you?
Yeah, you can.
And then your iron's so shitty you're trying to like steam it
and it's just dribbling out the side.
That's my iron.
Yeah, mine too.
Yeah, awful. That's my iron Yeah mine too Yeah awful ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan
The podcast
If you're planning on making
Any major decisions today
About your life
Your future
Yep
Do it after you've just eaten
Because making decisions
When you're hungry
Is a bad idea
So a study was done
At the University of Dundee
Where's that?
Crocodile.
Crocodile.
I was going to say.
Hogan's house.
It's in the outback
of Australia.
So yeah,
they wanted to find out
if being hungry
affected your decision making.
Do they still have
the knife 101?
Like,
people that are
knifeists as a knife?
Yeah,
they do.
They do?
That's a great course.
I recommend that to anybody.
It's such an old movie now. I'm sure, why haven't they remade that? Are you talking about Crocodile Dund knife? Yeah, they do. They do? That's a great course. I'd recommend that to anybody. It's such an old movie now.
I'm sure.
Why haven't they remade that?
I don't think I've seen
A Talk About Crocodile Dundee.
Yeah.
I've never seen it.
No, because you remember
they did that mini thing
last year that,
do you remember they did
that mini Australian
tourism campaign
and it was
Liam Hemsworth
or Chris Hemsworth.
Chris, yeah.
Chris and Kenny Powers.
Danny McBride.
Yeah.
He was the son of Dundee.
That's right.
God, that would be ripe for a remake.
Even like...
Could they do a TV series remake?
Because you know how all the online streaming services
are big on the remakes.
Because they just want to crank out as much as they can.
Yeah, maybe.
Get Bob Irwin to do it.
So...
Shit yes.
Shit yes.
Researchers, they looked into giving... Well, part of the study was they gave people an immediate reward or double the reward in 35 days.
And then some of them were hungry and some of them were not.
The ones who were hungry wanted the reward straight away.
That would be me.
It's not food, it was money.
So, it doesn't matter what it is.
When you're hungry, you want immediate gratification.
Yeah, right.
So they're saying even if you go for a mortgage and make money decisions,
you kind of get rid of your life goals and your long-term goals
in place for immediate gratification.
But then if I've gone too far the other way,
I've eaten too much and they're like, what do you reckon?
I was like, oh, I want a sweepy, sweepy time.
I'm really tired.
I'm eating too many food.
I'll just do whatever you want now.
How do you think you've handled life in the light?
Because you've been doing fasting in the morning.
Yeah, but I don't make any big decisions in the morning.
Well, I hope not after hearing this.
Yeah, but I reckon that's true because you just get really impatient.
I'm just thinking of when you go to the supermarket.
Well, yeah, they say never go to the supermarket hungry.
They've always said that.
I remember that.
Yeah, when you're on a diet and you go to the supermarket hungry,
you're like, oh, stuff it.
I'm just going to get a treat.
Like you just need instant gratification.
Yeah.
See, I thought the way around that was to do the online shopping.
But then I found with online shopping,
you just end up buying as much stuff
as you don't need as if you go there.
Yeah.
Because it's easy to click, isn't it?
Yeah, because you know when you're walking around a supermarket,
you're like, I've had enough of walking.
Yeah.
I'm out.
But like if you're just on your computer,
you don't get that physical.
No.
Like, bugger this-ness.
Yeah.
You just keep going.
And it's like, people who bought that item like this item.
And you're like, okay.
And then you go down a rabbit hole.
I've just realised I do that with shopping.
If I'm hungry, I'll peruse to put my mind off food.
I'll peruse. Yeah, but you're spending.
Yeah, I'm getting gratification from buying things rather than eating things.
And then I can't afford to eat things.
Smoking will take care of all of that.
Do something with your
hands. Suppress the appetite.
Die early. Give you a hobby
to go outside and do and then you'll be
dead early.
Great stuff. Wonderful.
From the ZM Think Tank
this is the Top Six.
Hello there.
Today's Top Six.
The Top Six reasons Hilary Barry can show as much or as little cleavage as she wants.
Somebody complained, Hilbaz, who, in my opinion, is just an absolute saintly woman.
Oh, she's lovely.
She's wonderful.
So nice.
She's a champion of other women.
It's a shame that that person that commented couldn't be the same. Well, she's a champion She's wonderful. So nice. She's a champion of other women. It's a shame that that person that
commented couldn't be the same. Well, she's a champion
of other women exactly, Megan, but often
women are the people that come at her the most.
Remember the last time
she made headlines
with someone sort of body shaming
her effectively. Was it Barbara? It was about her
thighs. Right, yeah.
She said, oh, who dressed you or something?
Your thighs look terrible or some weird things.
And that's someone just text messaged in.
Bitch, please.
I found myself watching Seven Sharp last night.
I tell you what, Hillbaz has still got it going on.
Oh, yeah, she does.
Do we have an age?
Not that it should matter.
It doesn't matter.
I mean, it doesn't matter, but Hillbaz is like, she's got it going on.
She is beautiful.
Get stuff.
Fletcher's just looked at me shocked.
She's 49.
Piss off.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
She is going to be 50 on the 4th of December.
We should get her a cake.
We should get her a boobies cake.
Why a boobies cake? A cleavage cake. Like should get her a cake. We should get her a boobies cake. Why a boobies cake?
A cleavage cake.
Like a cleavage cake.
Okay, that's different to a boobies cake.
In my head there was nipples.
You're imagining like a 21st.
That would be highly inappropriate to send Hilary.
We could get her a torso, like a body cake that the head's not on,
down to the knees.
And just the whole thing's cleaved.
What is that going to suggest to her?
Yeah, it might be a bit inappropriate.
Yes, it's hard coming from me, isn't it?
Yeah.
From a, like, white dude.
Just from anyone.
You've got it going on, sister.
Yeah.
It's a bit pervy, isn't it?
Well, why don't we just get her a carrot cake?
Like, just a standard round one.
But a real nice one,
like you see in the cafes.
Yeah, okay. Okay, let's do that. Like one of those one like you see in the cafes. Yeah, okay.
Okay, let's do that.
Like one of those naked cakes.
You need to mark that down, please.
Don't forget.
No, no, no.
They're called naked cakes.
You know what I'm talking about.
They put icing on
just to fill the gaps.
It's a minimal icing thing
around the side.
I think she'd love that.
Scraped around the side, yeah.
Well, she gave the sass
back on Instagram last night
and people were commenting
supporting her.
Yeah, everybody's for
Hilbaz. Yeah, it is disappointing.
So the top six today
is the top six reasons, and we are
getting some lovely messages of support
for Hilbaz. People saying this old woman needs to shut up.
Top six reasons Hilary Barry can show
as much or as little cleavage as she damn well
pleases. Number six, you have a
remote. If
someone's showing too much skin-covered sternum for your liking,
feel free to change the channel.
But then say to yourself, why am I changing the channel?
Oh, it's because I think there's too much skin showing.
I'm so offended by the sternum.
Because she put up a photo and it's not what I would call.
No.
If you hadn't seen it and then you're going to go and look now.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it.
I'm going to go look now. I'll do number five while you don't look at it until we come back to you next.
Number five on the list of the top six reasons Hillary Barrett can show as much or as little cleavage as she likes.
Last night, no one complained when Jeremy Wales was running around Japan in a sweaty, clingy singlet.
Showing his whole arms. Oh, my God. His singlet showing his whole arms.
Oh, my God.
His whole arms.
Whole arms.
I'm not.
His sweaty chest and neck area.
I'm not commenting anymore.
I find it very hard to see him around the building.
I think everybody does.
I saw his erect nipples at least twice.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
You can't talk about him like this. Yeah. Because he did this thing where he ran around Japan, going to different vending machines. Okay. Oh my God. On primetime national broadcaster. You can't talk about him like this.
Yeah.
Because he did this thing
where he ran around Japan
going to different vending machines.
Right.
And his legs is...
Yeah.
He's not a piece of meat boy.
Muscular legs.
Yeah.
Hillary shows a little bit of cleave
and they all start losing their minds.
Have you got the picture loaded?
I'm just about to click on her profile.
Yeah.
And then you might have to scroll across.
You'll see old mate's comment first.
Oh, good Lord.
Oh, avert my eyes.
Okay, when plunging their client was suggested,
I thought it was going to be more than that.
Yeah.
Like literally, the woman that complains got something wrong with her. Also, it blows her colour. Yeah. Yeah. Like literally, the woman that complains has got something wrong with her.
Also, it blows her colour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Number four on the list,
yeah,
of the top six reasons
Hilary Barry can show
as much of her little cleavage
as she likes.
If you think that's in your face,
flick across to the project
on three and see what you get.
Because sometimes
Jessie Mulligan just does
that show naked.
Yeah.
Fully naked.
Unbelievable.
Fully naked. Number. Fully naked. Number
three on the list of the top six reasons
Hilary Barry can show as much or as little
cleavage as she likes. It's double standards.
Because if you remember the old days of
7pm current affairs shows, Paul Holmes
wore a plunging neckline in the
90s. And when
it was the fashion, he would often wear semi-sea
through halter neck tops. Yeah.
Double standards.
Nipples. You could see the nipples.
Paul Holmes did have a great set
of nipples. Yeah. As you
were saying that, were you like, what are you doing, Bourne?
Yeah, I could see that in your face.
Like in my head, it's always like
a journey and my hand was reaching for
the handbrake and the other hand was like, ah.
Go with it.
Ah, ah. You're committed.
Go with the poor Holmes nipple thing.
Number two on the top six reasons Hillary Barry can wear as much,
show as much or as little cleavage as she likes.
Woman Who Complained.
We don't know your name because Hillary was nice enough to crop that out.
However, we can see the bottom three quarters of your profile picture.
You are literally wearing a plunging neckline far lower
and far more revealing than hers.
Yeah.
I'm not sure what your problem with hers is.
And number one on the list of the top six reasons
Hilary Barry can show as much or as little cleavage as she likes
on Seven Sharp.
Those are her boobies.
They're not your boobies.
You worry about your boobies?
Thank you, I will.
She'll worry about her burpees.
Hey, man.
Morning.
Everybody back to what you're doing.
That's today's Top 6.
Flesh, fauna, Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
A couple, a UK couple, have been arrested.
They're described as an elderly couple.
72 and 71.
Okay.
Although that's still sprightly. Yeah, I was going to say, don't call them elderly. They might not like that elderly couple, 72 and 71. Okay. Although that's still sprightly.
Yeah, I was going to say,
don't call them elderly.
They might not like that.
Well, the news have called them elderly.
He's a former chef, Roger.
He's a 72-year-old.
And his wife is a retired secretary, Sue.
71.
Roger and Sue.
Now, they went on a cruise around Europe.
Lovely.
Around Europe? Well, they went on a cruise around Europe. Lovely. Around Europe?
Well, their last stop was Lisbon in Portugal.
Okay, so that's not on the river.
That's not a river cruise.
No, that's on the coast.
It's a sea cruise.
And that is where they were arrested because apparently they used their age,
according to police, to hide the fact that they were drug dealers.
They were caught with nine kgs of cocaine in their suitcase.
And apparently they were selling it on.
On the cruise?
Well, they'd get off the cruise at various parts and sell it.
But they're in prison in Portugal at the moment.
So when the cruise person's like, oh, today we're stopping in...
Lisbon.
No, no, before that,
like other ports of call.
Yeah.
We're stopping in Florence.
Can you stop in Florence
on a cruise?
Is it by the sea?
I don't know.
I don't know if you can.
Maybe.
Somewhere.
Yeah.
We're stopping in Italy
and we're going to catch a bus
and we're going to go
and see the Colosseum.
Is that possible?
Is that a thing?
Yeah, you could do that.
Yeah, you could do that.
And they're like, oh, we'll just
do our own thing.
Yeah, maybe. Roger and Sue
are never coming on the group excursions
yet they're always getting off the boat.
Yeah, that would have raised some
curiosities. Yeah, well, apparently
they face quite a bit of time
in prison, maybe 10 years. But that's someone's
parents or grandparents.
Yeah, 70 easily could his grandparents by then.
Parents got caught with...
Cocaine.
Nine kgs of coke in their suitcase.
And they've just decided they wanted to have an exciting life.
Mum would have had to have put the coke in Dad's suitcase
because she's never got any spare room.
Yeah, probably.
When she's packing.
When they go overseas, she's still like,
Ian, I think I'm going to need to put a couple of things in your suitcase.
Dad's like, okay.
He packs very light.
Yeah.
Yet he's got a big suitcase for these exact reasons.
Well, police say the couple have spent $36,000 on cruises over the last two years.
So they reckon this isn't their first rodeo.
So they've been doing it for a while.
And they've been in the Caribbean before as well.
So yeah.
Good Lord.
Oh, that's sad though, because if they go to Priz, they'll be separated.
Like they won't be able to see each other anymore.
Oh, I don't think...
You have to worry about that
when they're drug dealers, Megan.
I think if you're a criminal,
you don't get to choose
whether or not you get to spend your time
with your partner.
Yeah, I think that's part of what you lose.
Plus, they're probably ready for some time apart
if they've been in a cruise cabin for a while.
You know your parents come home from holiday
and they're sick of each other?
Yeah.
God, I can't wait to get home
and your father will go out
and start working on the farm again
and I'm going to be completely quiet.
A Scottish woman
has had a bit of a fail.
Her friend actually shared this.
It's made its way to Twitter
and it's been shared
around the world.
So she went out on a night,
like a girls night.
Yeah.
And she looked beautiful, got all dressed up.
She was wearing some new shoes.
They are strappy heels.
And the straps go up around your foot and go up at the ankle.
And she was like, man, these are so uncomfortable.
They can be, those shoes.
Yeah.
Especially if you're wearing them all night.
It can be pretty uncomfortable.
So when she got to meeting up with her friends, she's like, oh, they've got these new shoes,
I love them, but they're really uncomfortable.
And that's when her friend pointed out to her that she had put them on the wrong foot
and she'd been wearing them.
So she had the right on the left and the left on the right.
Yeah.
So her feet are overhanging.
Just checking.
She's not two years old, is she?
No.
It's a classic toddler thing to do.
D's on a white foot, dad.
You're like, nope.
So these strappy heels, they've got a little point,
and the point is one way,
and her toes are off on the other way,
which would have been a good indication.
How did she not figure this out?
Well, it kind of looks like your toes would
overhang a little bit maybe.
Right. But, yeah,
I mean, the point of the shoe would have been a good
indication. And you know how,
oh, you don't know, but on like,
little strappy sandals,
where the arch is, it kind of cuts in
and there's no bit for your foot to stand.
So it goes, look at the heel,
cuts in and then it goes out again
on strappy sandals.
Like,
that would be a good indication
because there's nowhere for the side
of your foot to stand on.
The curve's on the inside.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
So she just thought
that these were really uncomfortable,
but she loved them nonetheless.
And yeah,
her friend has taken a picture
of her feet hanging off the edge.
And now the whole world's laughing.
It's the thing, one photo, it only takes your friend to upload one photo
and the entire world is laughing at you.
You're ruined.
I would have done the same.
Yeah.
But it's not always just shoes.
I would love to know when you've worn something wrong
because I've got a top to this day, I don't know which way it goes.
So it's the same both ways. Yeah goes so it's got it's the same
both ways
yeah
but it's got
one little pleat
at the top of the neck
is that a hole
no just a little pleat
oh a pleat
so it's like
right
and I don't know
if that goes in the front
or the back
so you'd think
so I wear it at the back
but then the top
rides right up to my neck
but then I wear it at the front
and it doesn't feel right either
so it just goes with what I'm feeling at the front and it doesn't feel right either.
So I just go with what I'm feeling at the time.
It doesn't have one.
Is it a skirt?
Megan, are you wearing a skirt around your neck again?
A skirt with like two arm flaps at the side.
Fashion, baby.
It's fashion, baby.
At that time, Megan was wearing a skirt as a top.
What a fool.
Yeah, those sleeve things are for your legs. No, but what's the
big bit at the middle for?
Ear. Bum.
For your bum. If I put my
legs in the arm holes, it'd be a big
like flappy bit out the back.
Fashion, baby. Fashion.
It's definitely not a skirt.
Get on board.
So what you want to hear from people that have had these kind of fashion whoopsie daisies.
When did you wear your clothes wrong?
Because that's the thing.
Fashion's a little bit like kooky sometimes.
Yeah, right.
And you think you're wearing it right.
When did you wear it wrong?
See, I don't think we can go wrong.
Can we, Vaughn?
Because we just wear t-shirts and pants.
Well, with my like plain black or plain white t-shirts, they don't have any logos on them.
Yep.
So often I'll put them on inside out.
Yep.
Because sometimes I've got buttons, but I don't do them up.
I did that in the gym once.
I wore one of my gym tops inside out.
And then I got home.
I was like, why can I see the seam?
Oh, yeah.
Shame.
Shame.
That's not too bad.
Now I can't go back to the gym for a month.
Oh, well.
I'll just have these biscuits instead.
Oh, well.
Yeah, biscuits won't judge me for wearing my singlet inside out.
All right, 0800-DARN-ZM-9696.
When did you wear your clothes wrong?
Flesh-worn and Megan, the podcast, ZM.
We're talking about when you've worn your clothes wrong.
A woman's gone viral after she wore her strappy heels on the wrong feet, The Podcast ZM. We're talking about when you've worn your clothes wrong.
A woman's gone viral after she wore her strappy heels on the wrong feet,
so her feet were literally hanging off the side.
She's like, man, these are uncomfortable.
And thanks to her lovely friend, we've all seen that picture now. Yeah.
Check out my friend.
What a loser.
I would have done the same.
That's what every good friend does.
Yeah.
You might remember one that went viral as well,
the woman who wore the one
shouldered swimsuit.
So the strap just goes to one shoulder
fletch and she wore that upside down.
So you can imagine
in the crotch
area it goes to one side too.
Bloody neck cutting her in half.
She actually complained about that to the company
and they're like, yeah, you're wearing that upside down.
But again, her friend was there to take a photo.
The female swimsuits I've seen, there's like extra padding in the bottom of the...
Yeah.
There's indicators.
Where the gooch goes.
Which makes it even more funny that she had no idea.
She was like, this has got a lovely soft bit for my shoulder.
No, but that could be a shoulder pad.
It's a little shammy.
Yeah, that could be a shoulder pad. It's a little sham. Yeah, that could be a little shammy for my shoulder pad.
Leanne, when did you wear clothes wrong?
When I went to the gym.
Okay, what did you do?
Well, I put them on inside out and back to front.
What?
Are you talking about top or bottoms?
No, no, bottoms.
Inside out and back to front.
Okay, right.
So you're wearing the back, but right.
Back to front.
Did they have any padding on the outside?
Well, no, they didn't, but they're very uncomfortable.
I wonder why they weren't fitting right.
They're like, oh, my God, I've got to go to the gym even more now.
But did they not have a little tag on the front?
Yeah, well, they did, but I was getting dressed in the dark
and, you know, I was getting everything on.
Yeah, you see.
Things are bloody uncomfy.
Scrap the gym.
I'm going back to bed.
Thanks, Leanne.
Chantel, who wore clothes wrong?
It was my husband.
He wore a bow tie incorrectly.
Instead of putting the band around his neck,
he opened the band up, put his head through
and then clasped the bow tie.
Because there are two bands that go around
and you clip them onto the side.
He's opened them up
and put it over. But then, how did he make
it fit?
He has a small neck.
I don't know.
How interesting.
He was sitting beside me.
He's so embarrassed.
One of the bands went over.
One of them stayed there.
And then he kind of, what, poked it through the hole?
Yeah, did he have to, like, jimmy up the front to actually make it fit properly?
Yeah, it kept falling off.
And then we were at a party and my friend was like, hey, your band's on incorrectly.
Or your bow tie's on incorrectly.
Yeah.
So she took it off and did it for him.
And I didn't realise.
And it changed this game.
That's brilliant.
That's brilliant.
Thanks, Chantel.
Some more text messages.
I've got the same problem as Megan.
I've a dress that my mum gave me that's navy blue and pleated in three panels.
Okay.
It's got the same cart on the front and
the back with no tag.
Every time I try it on the other way, I think I've
cracked it. Yeah. And then I wear it the
other way and I'm back to square one.
Still to this day, I have no
idea which way to wear it. But that sounds like
it can be worn either way then.
There's definitely a way it's supposed to be worn.
But yeah, I
get it. It's a little bit uncomfortable both ways.
I once owned a tunic that had a lining sewn in it.
What's a tunic?
I don't know what's a tunic.
It's like a loose fitted like top dress thing.
Tunic.
Sometimes it's too short to be a dress.
Spencer Tunic.
You know that nude photographer who does all the artwork
with all the masses of people lying naked in parks?
Really?
No, I just got Tunick.
So that's obviously indicative of what you've been searching.
How did you spell it?
T-U-N-I-C.
Oh, I put K.
It's just like a T-shirt dress thing.
Oh, yeah, right.
Sometimes you can wear pants underneath.
It's a blouse.
Like a blouse.
Is it a frock? Is it a frock? Is it a fro underneath. Is it a blouse? It's a blouse, like a blouse. Is it a frock?
Is it a frock?
Is it a frock?
Is it a blouse?
It's both or either.
Right.
Okay, so it's a tunic.
Oh, there's some on Easy Buy.
Cool, Sarah.
Yeah, that's all I've got as a top result today.
So now I've lost my tunic text because we're so much about tunics.
Okay, so for a couple of years I wore it inside out
because the care label and back label were inside the two layers.
One time someone said, I think you're wearing your top inside out.
And that's when I realised I'd been wearing my tunic incorrectly for two years.
It's good that you got that much wear out of a tunic.
And then you turn it in the right way and it's almost like you've got a new bit of clothing.
Yeah, it's totally changed it.
Somebody bought a cardigan that for months they thought was a backless top.
Now, how would that work?
Because a cardigan would have, not always have buttons.
I have seen those ones with like the thicker lapel collary vibe that goes down.
And there are no buttons.
It joins, but it joins down here, so they thought that.
Yeah, but why would a backless top have a thick collar?
It wouldn't.
Fashion baby.
It wouldn't have a collar.
No, a thick down bit.
What are you talking about?
This bit here.
This bit.
Vaughan's pointing, and that's not good for the radio.
What do you call that?
No, no, no.
It's where you wear a suit, you zip your button up down here.
Blip.
Because it's the feature of the top.
Yeah, but it's going to look ridiculous on the back, isn't it?
You sit in a chair and you're going to be...
I should just sort of add a lovely back feature.
Yeah, she's like, oh, everyone's going to be looking at my back with all that.
I went to England to see my dad and sadly he passed while I was over there.
I went shopping for a dress for the funeral
and had an amazing neckline
and I knew I could wear this stunning necklace
I'd bought a few years ago and never worn.
Day of the funeral, up at 5am,
due to, you know, the busy days,
funeral, put on a dress
and the neckline was extremely high
and I thought, what was I thinking?
No way I could wear that necklace.
And with the stress of the day
and getting kids ready, I just carried on. Then at the get-together after the service, I was I thinking? No way I could wear that necklace. And with the stress of the day and getting kids ready, I just carried on.
Then at the get-together after the service,
I was talking to a friend and running my fingers
along the front of my neckline and I felt the tag
and then I ran my hand around the back and I was like,
oh, there it is.
And I'd been wearing it backwards the whole funeral.
Oh, no.
Everyone's too polite to say anything at a funeral.
Yeah.
She's mourning.
She's still wearing her clothes backwards.
I'm sorry for your loss of fashion sensibility.
And knowing which way's the front and which way's the back.
Yeah.
There's a company in London.
It's called Grant Tree.
So it's a financial services company.
And this sounds too good to be true.
They get to award themselves pay rises.
So if they think, yes, I deserve it, they can award themselves a pay rise.
Okay.
But there is a catch.
What's the catch?
So if you deem yourself worthy for a pay rise, you then have to not,
the bosses don't have to approve it.
Your colleagues have to approve it.
Ah, okay.
But if you come to some sort of agreement.
Like you all back each other like a survivor or Celebrity Treasure Island alliance or something.
I thought you were going to say your pay rise has to come out of somebody else's pocket.
No, but that's the thing.
I deserve a five grand pay rise and it's coming at the expense two and a half grand from Sue.
No, because I just push Sue off the top of the building and say she had an accident.
And then we could all split her. What? No, because then you pushed Sue off the top of the building and say she had an accident. And then we could all split her...
What?
No, because then you'd need someone to do Sue's job.
It was an accident.
RIP Sue.
Sue doesn't deserve this.
Sue's gone now.
It was a tragic accident,
but I mean, we've got to use her money.
Shall we divvy it up?
So she gave herself a $13,000...
I'm talking in New Zealand dollars.
$13,721 pay rise. So she went from $58,806
to $72,527.
She said she felt uncomfortable
giving herself that greater pay rise,
but she did talk to a lot of other people
and all of her colleagues
internally agreed
that she did deserve it
and she was worth it.
And then so if the employees
decide and agree,
the bosses are just fine with that. Yeah.
Wow. But in here,
here, like,
I mean in New Zealand, wouldn't
everyone be like, well, if you
get a pay rise, does that mean I'm not going to get a pay rise?
Why do you think you deserve a pay rise?
It would be bitchy. I think it
would be quite, and you know, what if you don't
like, because you know, not everybody
at their workplace likes their colleagues, do they?
And it'd be like, I'm $13,000.
But that's the thing you'd soon find out.
Like, you know, the people that aren't overly liked, but that's got no idea.
Yeah.
They're just living in their own happy world.
If this would be a real wake-up call for them, they'd put in for their pay rise and everybody would be like, no.
Yeah.
And before you know it, someone's shoving you off the building
after work drinks
alright thanks Sue
Sue
have you ever seen
the roof of the building
it's a lovely view up there
it's absolutely gorgeous
especially this time of year
up there Sue
this time of day
alright Megan
let's get up there
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan
the podcast
you might not have heard
yesterday on the show
we had a bit of lolly chat
well yeah a guy was in the news because he got stoned You might not have heard yesterday on the show we had a bit of lolly chat.
A guy was in the news because he got stoned and spent $100 on lollies.
Big news in New Zealand.
Big news day.
So we talked about what lollies would spend $100 on.
My favourite was the raspberry drops.
And I could not.
Hard boiled lollies.
Yeah.
So second of all.
You've just triggered me again.
I'm triggered because yesterday, Vaughn, you said,
actually, I do like those lollies.
Because I thought raspberry drops were the perfectly round hard balls,
but then you sent a picture and they had a dotty-dotty raspberry appearance.
That's what they've always had, but they're still round balls of hard... He's talking about those...
Aren't you talking about those black balls?
No, no, no, there was like a red version
of the black ball. I actually received a lot
of correspondence yesterday after I came out
as a fruit jube lover
and spinning top lover. People messaging
saying, you just get me.
Oh my God, I love those lollies. I have
jubes as well, but hard
jubes. No one makes a hard jube.
Put them in the fridge. What a boring lolly. Yeah, so I had a lot of support for my raspberry well, but hard jibs. No one makes a hard jib. Put them in the fridge. Yeah.
What a boring lolly.
Yeah, so I had a lot of support for my raspberry drops.
But because we'd spoken about them so much. These jibs come in different flavours.
Raspberry drops just...
Yeah, I know.
But they're like an intense hit of raspberry.
So yesterday I was like, oh my God, we've spoken about them so much.
People would send me pictures.
They'd gone and bought some.
I know.
People were actually...
I don't know if we influenced New Zealand's lolly intake yesterday, but we got a lot of Instagram snaps from people buying lollies.
Yeah.
So I decided yesterday that I would get some raspberry drops, but because I'm trying to be good, I was like, I'll walk to get the raspberry drops from the dairy.
Because my dairy does like little bags of them.
Little bags of individual lollies.
How much are those? Because they're always
way too much.
The profit margin on a
small bag of lollies is insane.
Yeah, but there would have been like
nine
or ten lollies in there?
Too much. Yeah, but that means
you're rocking 20 cents a lolly.
You think about when you go to Gilmore's to do the cafe shop.
Oh, yeah, but.
You think about how much you'd get for $2.
That's why they call it convenience store, you know?
These dairies should be running at a loss for me.
Their families should be struggling to eat so that I can eat.
Eat cheap lollies.
Is it too much to ask?
So I decided I was going to walk to the dairy.
Now, the walk to my dairy, there and back is an hour.
It's not just...
You've got a car.
My lunch is not just down the road.
I know, but I was like, if I walk there, then I can eat them guilt free.
That's dedication.
I took my dog and we walked to the dairy and got-
Jesus, can that thing walk for an hour?
Well, that's the thing.
When we-
It overheats.
On the way home, he was like dragging
and I thought I was going to have to carry him the last stretch.
But he made it.
And then I ate almost the whole bag.
Yeah.
Just a PSA.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's advisable because
it didn't agree with me.
Yeah, but you've got a real weak constitution
because you don't eat sugar.
You clean living folk
is when you do dabble in the dark side
it blows you out.
It just absolutely, your stomach's like
oh no, lollies.
It's not a good time.
Whereas if you run a bit of a rough game the whole time.
Oh, your body's used to it.
Nothing surprises the bod.
Yeah, the bod's just truck.
Keep it on its toes, baby.
Yeah, truck's right through.
Your body's like, here we go again.
You're like, guess what I'm eating today, body?
It's like, oh, God.
I don't know, mate.
What have you got planned?
I was like, that chicken's been in the fridge for three days, baby.
Might follow it up with some cake. I gonna put some hot hot hot sauce on it too
you're gonna have to deal with a few things down their stomach it's like i got you i got you
brain's like i don't know guys colon and everybody else is just like no please don't
hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor.
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Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast.
It's not good news.
It's not good news that I have regarding one of the show's most hotly debated biscuits.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
The show's got a spiritual connection to the chocolate thin
because it was the biscuit that we for a long time debated
are what sides up.
That's right.
When you put it in your mouth,
what side's facing the roof of your mouth?
Is it the chocolate that's the top of the chocolate thin
or is that the bottom?
Yeah.
And we asked the guy from Mythbusters.
Do you remember that?
He was in.
Yes.
And he said... Chocolate was the bottom. Chocolate was the bottom. Which. And we asked the guy from Mythbusters, do you remember that? He was in. Yes. And he said
chocolate was the bottom.
Chocolate was the bottom.
Which was against
what I said
because I wasn't talking
about the manufacturer
of the biscuit.
I thought once it becomes
your biscuit,
if you were to sit it
down on the table,
you'd never put the chocolate
face down on the table.
No.
You'd put the biscuit
base down on the table.
Because you wouldn't want
the chocolate melting
to the plate.
That's less chocolate
in your mouth.
You got it, buddy.
That's what a biscuit's for.
It's a biscuit base.
Yeah.
Anyway, we're not here to debate that
because the packaging's changed.
And on the new packaging,
because on the last packaging,
we said it could go either way
because there was one with the chocolate down
and one with the chocolate up.
Well, on the new packaging,
they're actually both standing up.
Oh, okay.
Oh, my God.
And now there's no...
And like a house of cards.
Sort of like, yeah, they're leaning against each other. And like a house of cards.
Yeah, they're leaning against each other. And one other thing you might notice about that is that the pack of
choc-thins has gone from 200
grams to 180 grams.
That's a 10% diminishing
return. So what, two or three less chocolate thins
in each pack? Far more than that. Also, another question.
Does that second packet look thinner?
Does the width
of it look less widthy?
It's definitely shorter.
The length of the biscuit. Lengthwise.
But do you think they've also... No, no, no, no.
From what I've read,
it's just the amount
of biscuits that come in the pack that's changed,
not the size of the biscuit. Excuse me? What are they trying to say? It's very cheek amount of biscuits that come in the pack that's changed, not the size of the biscuit.
Excuse me? What are they trying to say?
It's very cheeky. But then to be
fair, when's the last time you actually bought a packet
of these?
Like, I mean, I'll eat them if they're
somewhere or they're always in
those samplers, aren't they? Yeah.
Mum always has them.
To be honest, like
I just don't buy biscuits.
Yeah. I do, but I'll just go
for something far more bougie.
If I get a biscuit or a slice, it'll be
if I'm out, I don't often buy
we don't really have
biscuits. We've got like the bags of biscuits
like the tiny teddies for the girls
and every now and then I'll find myself
knuckle deep in a bag of tiny teddies.
I'm like, where are you?
Where are you?
I know you.
I know there's a couple more of you in there.
But we're not big biscuit buyers,
but our parents' generation always had a Bickey on hand for a cup of tea, didn't they?
My mum has a dedicated biscuit drawer,
like a whole drawer of like opened and unopened biscuits.
Does she have it locked?
Nah.
Do you keep Warren's sticky fingers out?
No.
And it's got like chalky ones and not chalky ones.
A Bicky for every occasion.
Hundreds and thousands.
Yeah.
Are they in airtight containers?
Yeah, they go soft.
The open ones are in airtight containers.
I get it.
Oh, she knows.
That drawer is something to behold.
It's a sacred drawer.
How have we been to your mum's house three or four times?
Never seen the Bicky drawer.
Never seen the biscuit drawer.
Never seen your mum's Bicky drawer.
Why don't I show you a Biccy draw.
It's a special place.
Show everybody a Biccy draw when they came around.
You stop talking about my mum like that.
How often is your dad in your mum's Biccy draw?
And how often is a Biccy draw being cleaned out?
Oh, I don't know.
Because there might be some Biccy's at the bottom of the Biccy draw that have passed the years't know. Because there might be some Bickies at the bottom of the Bicky Drill
that have passed a year's fine.
There'd be some vintage Bickies at the bottom of that.
There'd be some crumbs in your mum's Bicky Drill.
Stop it.
You're going to get a message from her in a minute.
We don't want the ants getting in your Bicky Drill, right?
No.
But this isn't the first move by a food manufacturer
to downsize their packaging.
Chocolate companies, bars have been doing this.
Remember the Malteser pack?
Yeah, they all went down.
So other biscuits that are affected.
Yeah.
Because they're saying this is an operational cost issue.
Other biscuits that are affected.
You've got your chocolate thins.
That's what we're talking about.
Your Jaffa thins.
Okay.
Prepare for heartbreak.
The chit chat.
Well, they're putting one less Chit Chat?
I don't know.
How many less Chit Chats are they putting in?
The Chit Chat's like a Tim Tam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, you'd probably have to lose three Chit Chats.
Three?
I reckon you'd lose three.
That's my guess.
Cut it out.
They've even four Chit Chats.
But then have Tim Tams gone down?
And no. And Chocolate Fingers have also had their...
Oh, see, I'm not...
No one's finding those, are they?
Apart from if they're making a pool cake from Instagram.
Yeah.
If they're fencing a cake for a kid's cake.
Yeah, then you get some Chocolate Fingers going.
Is the price the same?
Yeah.
I think so.
From what I can read.
That's a bad move from them because if I was Tim Tams,
I'd be marketing myself as we're bigger, we're longer.
The bigger Biccies.
We've got more Biccies in our packet.
Yeah, so the size of the biscuit, the recipe of the biscuit,
they've remained the same and the prices have remained the same.
However, there's been a downside.
No, because you've got to put your price down 10%. Yeah.
No, because it's the production costs that have gone up.
So you reduce your...
I'm not buying that.
You don't buy that.
I'm not buying it.
You don't buy it.
With everything getting more expensive,
you don't think there are...
With everything knowingly getting more expensive,
you don't think their operational costs have gone up.
No, I just feel like they're telling me,
do you need all of those biscuits?
Oh, no, they thrive on the fact
that you could eat a whole pack of biscuits.
I guess I could just buy two packs.
You got it.
Problem solved.
When they're on special, I'll just buy two packs.
Absolutely solved.
There's been a study of Americans and where they live in comparison to their parents.
It was a health and retirement study. Yeah, it mostly looked at mums because they live in comparison to their parents. It was a health and retirement study.
Yeah, mostly looked at mums because they live longer.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry, Dad.
I had to take a moment there as a dad.
Yeah.
And just reflect momentarily on my own mortality.
Yeah.
I'm back now.
Yeah.
I'm back now. I'm back now.
Yeah.
And so we want to know
this morning
because we've got some
pretty crazy stats
about Americans
and how close you live
to your parents.
Because
the rules.
You're not allowed
to be living in the same house
as them.
This has to be a separate title.
I will check your council records.
I want to see
two different rate paying addresses.
Because it turns out in America, would you say 80% or?
So the average American lives within 28 kilometers of their parents.
Wow.
The average American.
So some a lot closer, some a lot further.
80% of Americans live within two hours drive of their parents.
Right.
So they can say, I can get to my parents in
a couple of hours or less, which I can.
But imagine all those people that grow
up in small American towns and they
want to move to a big city. I guess they
just don't. Don't. Well, some of them do
but some of them don't. A lot of them
stay statistically. Still though, 80%
live close to their parents.
Yeah.
And most within 28Ks.
So also 37% of Americans had never lived outside their hometown.
How many?
Right, 37%, so just under half.
They'd never lived outside their hometown.
And 57%, nearly 60% of Americans had never left their home state.
That's never left their home state. That's never left their home state.
Left to travel.
For like a holiday.
To leave, to come back.
Do you know only 36% of Americans hold a valid passport?
How many percent?
36%.
And it would be all coastal.
Hold a passport.
Yep.
Yeah, have a passport.
Isn't that crazy?
Wow.
So they like to live close to mom.
That's why they're not cults.
Saying that this trend is looking to continue as baby boomers are in need of caretaking,
probably not going to be as financially stable to be able to look after themselves
or afford someone to look after them. And parents who have both, sorry, families who have both parents working
need help with childcare.
So there's the trade-off.
Oh, yeah, so you live close to mum.
You live next door or you live close.
We'll look after you.
You look after the kids while we're at work.
That makes sense.
And they say that's happening because more and more people are going back to work.
Would you want to live, like, in the same, like, street?
I get on really well with my parents.
They need reprimanding
every now and then for some
archaic views on
things, but we've got an understanding.
Do you reckon they'd just be too nosy all the
time? Nah.
My dad would be like, get out of it.
You and I don't have anything to hide.
What do you have anything to hide?
You won't even tell us what you do with your days.
I'm very busy. I've told you I'm very busy.
He is.
But he filled 12 hours
once with one trip to the gym,
eating one meal,
and doing laundry, and he was flat out.
I don't have to tell you what I do all the time.
Okay?
I had a random Instagram poll
this morning. Do you live in the same
City or town
As your parents
Yep
58%
42%
No
Right
So that would kind of
Be pretty close
Maybe
Yeah
Yeah
Of living in the same
The same town or city
So we would like to know
This morning
How close do you live
To your parents
Can't be the same house
Yeah
Obviously
Because that's cheating If you're still living With your parents? Can't be the same house. Yeah. Obviously, because that's cheating
if you're still living
with your parents.
Because don't your parents
live down,
you've got your nan,
gran down the bottom
of the road.
She used to be down
the bottom of the road
and then my uncle
and auntie used to be
next door.
So everyone was in like
a two minute walk
from each other.
Oh God.
How close is your,
they'd be so into
all your personal stuff,
wouldn't they?
Yeah.
How close is your brother
to your parents? Probably 15 minutes drive. Right. Same town though wouldn't they? Yeah. How close is your brother to your parents?
Probably 15 minutes drive.
Right.
Same town, though?
Same town.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
What about your brother to your parents?
Same town.
Same town.
Yeah.
Over town.
Right.
Yeah.
A little bit of a drive.
A bit of a drive.
Maybe 10 minutes.
My sister doesn't live too far from my parents.
Okay.
But my brother lives in Australia.
So.
Yeah, we're not too close.
Okay.
But wait, so we want to hear
from those people
that are like
real close
yeah
how close do you live
to your parents
because Fletch
doesn't understand it
if I
I'm always saying
if I could
I'd want them
like close as
because then mum
like could do my washing
mum and dad
yeah
mum cooks dinner
my mum does so much
for my brother
you'd be around
for a couple of meals a week I reckon I'd be around for a couple of meals a week, I reckon.
I'd be around for a couple of meals a week.
Yeah, totally.
All right, I'll 800-DARLES-IT-M-9696.
I'd be around for lunch because I finish work in the morning.
I'd be popping around for lunch in a cup.
Yeah, the cookie drawer.
Wouldn't it be white bread?
Yeah, it would be a lot of white bread.
And margarine.
A lot of margarine.
Flesh, fauna, Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
A study out of America
that was looking at
retirement
has looked into
how far away people
live from their children.
In America,
the average
American lives
28 kilometres,
within 28 kilometres
of their parents
and 80%
live within
two hours drive
of their parents.
Oh.
They cash it in on the bank of mum and dad.
Yeah.
So we want to know how close
you live to your parents.
Okay, so many calls
coming in. Rebecca, how close?
Hi. So
it's not my parents, but it's my
in-laws. So we're currently
living with them, but we are
building on the back of their section, so we're going to be
living right behind them.
Are you going to put up a big hedge?
Well, we've thought about it.
We'll see.
Just for privacy reasons.
That's when you know relations have soured, when a big
fence goes up.
Are we putting a gate
in that fence? No. Somebody plants a row
of grizzly.
Nice thick hedge.
Hey, thanks for your call, Rebecca.
Jackie, how close do you live to your parents?
Two doors.
Two doors down.
So there's one person in the middle of you or two?
Yep, one.
Wow.
Do you want them to get out the way so you can yell over the fence to mum?
Oh, no, he just joins on.
And we said we're going to put a tunnel underneath his house
so that we can see the food.
Brilliant.
And so is it handy or annoying
sometimes? No, it's handy.
We cook dinners together, we
share all sorts of things. It's so handy. My kids
decide where's the better food
and we'll go between the houses.
They just don't turn up one night because
Nan's got better food.
Yeah.
If I'd lived next door to my Nana, I would have been over there every day.
But baking?
It would be the size of a house.
Yeah, all the cookies and stuff.
Daniel, how far away from the parents do you live?
Jeez, those people make my parents feel like they're a mile away.
They're one minute down the road.
My brother is 40 seconds down the road and my sister is 30 seconds down the road My brother is 40 seconds down the road
And my sister is 30 seconds down the road
Right
So do you all live on the same street
Or is there a corner somewhere along that road
We and my parents live off the street
But my sister and brother live on the same street
Literally throwing stones from each other
Right, okay
And was it a conscious decision?
Like, what if someone wanted to move away?
Would you be like, don't go?
Well, we've all moved away,
and then we all come back
because mum's baking's too good.
Like Megan, mum's always got a stash of food
in the kitchen.
Oh, your mum's got a biscuit drawer too.
Oh, she's home baking queen.
Oh, yeah.
And you move away,
and you realise how good you've got it.
Yeah.
It sounds like if a listing comes up in the street, let us know.
We'll buy in.
We'll buy in.
Thanks, Daniel.
Kushla, how close do you live to the parents?
Morning, guys.
I live across the road and one house up from my mum.
Okay.
So that's handy.
Yeah.
My husband's mother lives, like, the other side of town.
Right.
But still pretty close in the scheme of things.
Yeah, and my sisters just moved, like, down the road around the corner.
Okay.
Do they even, like, wonder what you're up to?
They're like, oh, I saw the lights on past 11 last night.
What were you doing?
Yeah, like, that's me.
I can see, because I can see everything, like,
that happens at my mum's house,
above my house.
So I'm like the little spy in the neighbourhood.
Right.
So I'm like, who is that?
Who's that random car that's in your driveway?
You see mum running around naked in the bedroom?
No, thankfully she's got nets.
So I don't see anything.
Mum's love a net curtain.
Mum's love a net curtain. Mum's love a net Mum's loving net curtains
We'd better put some netting up
Net curtains
They're a bit mouldy after the winter
Yeah, yeah, yeah
The condensation gets all up on the net curtains
Mum's loving net
They love to charge their phone in the kitchen while they sleep
And they love net curtains
And they love keeping an eye on the warehouse mailer
for when net curtains are on special.
Tyler, how close do you live to the parents?
I live literally in front of my mother-in-law's unit.
So we're the unit in front of my mother-in-law.
Right.
And so does she ever have some questions
about what you've been up to?
No, that's me.
I'm always asking her,
why aren't you at work?
How's it going?
Can you help me cook a roast? Brilliant. I don't know how to cook a roast. Yeah, well, that's me. I'm always asking her, why aren't you at work? How's it going? Can you help me cook a roast?
Brilliant, I don't know how to cook a roast.
I do not know.
She has helped me every time.
Wow, that's nice.
Well, that sounds super handy.
Thanks, you cool, Tyler.
Ask for messages.
Of all the messages, nobody's living close to their parents or in-laws and hates it.
Everybody's saying how handy it is.
Well, I guess you wouldn't.
Yeah, you'd move away if you weren't into it, wouldn't you?
Although somebody, who was it, Kushler before,
said they were building on the back half of their,
somebody said they did that too, but it was a bit much.
So they sold the property and moved three houses down
just to give them a bit of a barrier.
A bit of a buffer.
But still close enough, but not too close.
Right, okay.
Not too close.
Mum's been telling me to move out for years.
I finally moved out and I moved into a house two doors down.
Nice try, Mum.
You're not getting rid of me that easy.
My brother moved out of home and he bought a house 100 metres away from Mum and Dad's back fence.
Although we barely see him.
Mum's like, he lives so close.
Why don't we see him more often?
My brother bought the house next door to my parents' farm.
So he's literally as close as he can be to their house.
Yeah.
With a bit of farm in the middle.
Because you could put an air bridge over, couldn't you?
I don't know if the council would let you do that.
Well, I'd better just drive.
No, you know like those malls?
When you go from the car park to the mall and you go over the air bridge that goes over the road?
Yeah.
How cool would one of those be?
And then you just feel like, mum, dad, I'm coming over.
I'd say overkill, to be totally honest.
But I'm just saying, you could finally...
But you're literally the only person that uses that at a mall.
It's because of thousands of people.
You could literally finally have an air bridge, a dream you've always wanted.
I'd have a two-way pneumatic tube
so I could hop in, shut the door,
and be like, boom.
Or a slide.
A slide.
You have to climb for a slide, though.
It's okay.
Yeah, and then how do you get back?
Council's going to make that a nightmare.
Get your consents for a 50-metre tall ladder
attached to a bunch of slides that you've tied together.
Yeah, but you don't need consent
if the council doesn't know.
Oh.
They're not going to notice
a big slide.
A big slide.
Of course not.
Obviously, when you come to sell,
you just get rid of the air bridge
or the slide.
Or the slide, yeah, remove it
and say it never existed.
Yeah.
We actually share a driveway
with my parents,
but you go down
and the parents are on the left.
I'm a couple further down
the long driveway and I'm on the right. I'm a couple further down the long driveway
and I'm on the right.
So we share a driveway.
Okay.
Yeah, lots of people.
Lots of people.
It's actually quite surprising.
Does it surprise you?
Not really.
I'd probably live closer
to my parents
if I didn't have to work
in Auckland.
Yeah, I would live close
to my parents too.
I'm just like
pop over for dinner.
Megan's brother gets free mints and she wants free mints. Yeah, she goes grocery shopping, gets them some too. I'm just like, pop over for dinner. Megan's brother gets free mints
and she wants free mints.
Yeah, she goes grocery shopping,
gets them some treats.
I'm really missing out.
Oh yeah,
she comes up and fills up your car
with gas at Auckland prices.
You're really missing out.
Probably still not the cost
of a pack of mints
is what you're saying.
One tray of mints,
more than a tank of gas.
Fact of the day,
day, day, day, day.
Today's fact of the day.
If you were listening to the show at 20 past six,
and heck, if you weren't, why not?
Because you're asleep.
That's okay.
That's fine.
Welcome, welcome.
You mentioned Downton Abbey.
The castle.
The castle.
It's going on Airbnb.
Highclere Castle.
Yeah, it's going on Airbnb.
For one night only.
Yep.
At a reasonable price.
Yes.
But you get the butler and everything.
It's all turned on.
And I said to you at the time, Megan, I said,
we're going to bookend the show with some Downton Abbey
because I've got some Downton Abbey later on.
In fact of the day, well here is my fact of the day
about Downton Abbey. Canada
was founded
in Downton Abbey.
Goodness me. What do you mean?
Canada was founded
in Highclere Castle
which is Downton Abbey.
In the 1860s, the fourth
Earl drafted the British
North American Act of 1867
at the castle
alongside the first Prime Minister of Canada.
He wasn't that yet. Okay.
But he would soon become John A. Macdonald,
George N. Tinkartier,
and Alexander Tillock
Galt, as they signed
the visitor's book in 1866
with those names.
Yeah.
They formed that British North American Act,
and that led to the foundation of the present-day nation of Canada
later that year.
And then they had some tea, I'm assuming.
And some maple syrup.
And some drama went down.
Yep.
Always does.
And Maggie Smith was there.
Yep.
And she was like,
Net on my watch at Downton.
I've never seen Downton Abbey.
I've never seen it.
I've never seen it,
but I'd imagine she'd be quite like that matriarchal figure.
Yeah.
And she's like,
Downton's almost a character to her.
Yep.
You won't disrespect the Abbey
with your flagrant language and your flip-flops.
We wear a closed-toed shoe or boot here at Downton.
I don't know.
We don't wear flip-flops.
I think you should watch an episode.
Flip-flops?
I don't know if they have flip-flops.
They have flip-flops.
Yeah.
So, yeah, the paperwork was all signed at Highclere Castle
that led to the creation of Canada.
Huh.
Yeah.
And now there's a what?
No, just a thumbs up.
Just a thumbs up.
Thumbs up.
Cool.
And then what, they went back to Canada and they were like,
by the way, we're Canada now.
There is a maple tree planted on the lawn of Highclere Castle.
It was only planted in 2018,
so don't be expecting it to be flourishing with maple juice.
Okay. Or syrup, whatever you like to call it it to be flourishing with maple juice. Okay.
Or syrup, whatever you like to call it.
I prefer to call it maple milk.
I don't.
Sure.
Suckling from the teat of the maple tree.
You shan't be sucking straight from the teat of the maple tree down to, dragging us down
with you and your filthy habits.
I'm Maggie Smith.
I wish you could see this stupid.
That's not a bad Maggie Smith, though.
Mr. Potter.
Do you know how she was in?
Yeah.
Harry Potter?
She was...
Fletch, what was her name?
McGonagall.
McGonagall.
Yeah, Mrs. McGonagall.
That's what I was going to say.
What was her first name?
Intern Anya.
I'll give you that.
Intern Anya, whisper that in there.
Tina.
McGonagall.
Tina.
It was Tina.
Tina McGonagall.
Tina McGonagall.
Minerva.
Minerva McGonagall.
Mr. Potter, it is I, Tina McGonagall.
Shall be dragging Hogwarts down with you,
sucking strength from the keep of the maple tree.
That's enough Maggie Smith for one morning, I think.
It certainly is enough.
We've reached our quota of Maggie Smith impressions.
Today's fact of the day is Canada was invented in Downton Abbey.
Fact of the
day, day, day,
day, September.
Yep.
This day.
This day, four years ago.
18th.
Yep.
2015.
The south, south, south town of Tuatopuri.
The south, south, south town.
The south, southland.
Otherwise known as the southland town.
The southern bit of the South Island.
Yep.
A town that has since become very close to my heart.
Tuatopuri received from us their giant sausage.
It's four years ago today.
Wow.
And hasn't that time flown?
Hasn't it?
Tuatopuri received our giant sausage as a town monument.
Now, when it was originally gifted,
it was to live in the four square.
It was a relocation of sorts.
I don't know what happened there.
We weren't involved
in any political decisions afterwards.
I think we were taking up
valuable space in the four square
where they could have been
selling biscuits and chips
and cans of peaches and stuff.
It then moved to the Last Light Lodge,
which we stayed at when we were in Tuatopuri,
and what a spot.
I don't even know.
It's been too long.
It's such a great night, too.
We don't even know if the same people are.
I know.
It was a Tuesday night, and we got smashed.
When you play, I couldn't make it,
but weren't you playing instruments and dress-ups?
Yeah, we got into drums. There was a drum
circle. There was dress-ups.
I got some snaps.
We all took peyote. It was
wild, man. I was out of a cactus
meagre. I don't know what happened. It was wild.
No, there was no peyote.
It was a great night, though. And then we slept in old
loggers' cabins that they
stayed in when they were doing forestry in the
area. Amazing spot. So then that, the
sausage got moved to there. Now there it lived
outside for a while and the weather,
the harsh Southland
winter and then the dry Southland
summer took its toll on the sausage.
It was then refurbished
and given a, I believe
a waterproof sealing.
Like a resin. Yeah. Or like a resin
seal. Varnish. And occasionally over the years you'll get the odd snap every now and again from someone who's a waterproof ceiling. Like a resin. Yeah, like a resin ceiling.
And occasionally over the years,
you'll get the odd snap every now and again from someone who's passing through
and they'll send it to you and be like,
it's still here.
The sausage is still here.
The sausage survived.
In the sausage capital of New Zealand.
However, it's been a while.
And I thought on this anniversary,
the fourth year,
I've got to look into this.
I've got to see if I can find...
I'm just going to go on the fly. I'm going to
Tuatopuri as a location
on Instagram. Oh yeah, okay.
To see what's been tagged there.
A lot of the hump bridge...
While Vaughan's doing that, why don't you
hashtag search giant sausage?
No, I don't know
if she should.
That's why I went Tuatopuri. I don't know if she should. That's why I went to a toll-free.
I don't know if big sausage is going to return the results.
Or just sausage?
You just big sausage.
The Humperidge track looks gorgeous.
Look at that.
Is that the new national park?
Because that's the other thing is that they're building a new national park
or they're opening a new national park there.
That's going to be the gateway to that national park
is going to involve our giant sausage.
So again, that's going to get
a lot of attention, the giant sausage.
Here's two local lads drinking a
box of Double Browns and having a couple of darts
there in their swannies.
That's got a very authentic feel to it.
Just looking. Because it has been
a while since someone has snapped
the giant sausage, but I'm sure it's still there.
I mean, it's probably not the best radio, guys,
just listening to people scrolling through Instagram.
There's us.
Because I geotagged us four years ago today at the Blue Cliffs Beach
just down the road from Tuatopiti.
Okay, lovely.
So you haven't, there's no.
I'm not seeing any sauce.
Between now and then, there's no sauce.
Recent.
Hold on, I'll go recent rather than top because sometimes that's a bit of a confusing thing.
Yeah, if anybody's passing through Tuatopedi.
Yeah.
Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go.
1st of September.
Oh, brilliant.
There it is.
A guy called Vaughan.
Oh, that's brilliant.
Vaughan Gheeson.
Gheeson?
So it's sitting outside still.
Thanks to Tuatopedi, that was banging.
And yeah, that looks...
Oh!
It's had a paint job, hasn't it?
They've built a little brick.
Oh.
A little brick.
That's lovely.
It's got like a little stand.
Platform for it to sit on.
Lovely.
Oh, I love that.
I've taken such pride in that.
Do you know, it's actually made a few lists as well.
The giant sausage.
A lot of bloggers have included the giant sausage on lists.
On its list of giant things around New Zealand,
the Denizen wrote the five of New Zealand's
strangest roadside attractions.
Yeah.
And the big sausage
in Tuatopuri was number one.
Riff,
along with like Riff Raff,
the Springfield Donut.
Brilliant.
The Stonehenge Aotearoa
and the Wairarapa.
Okay.
And a giant jersey
in Geraldine
that looks like
David Bayne
sort of-esque jersey.
Right, okay.
A decorative sewn jersey. Yeah, right. A very like decorative sewn jersey.
Yeah, right.
A backpacker guide's got it on the list of 21 big things in New Zealand.
Make sure you stop and check it out.
Yeah.
Just off the main road there.
And have a photo.
And don't be afraid to tag us in.
There's a sharing game.
We should do this again.
It's a lot of effort, but.
Give another town a big monument.
Yeah.
I'm down.
What town?
What town's had a tough time lately? You know, Huntley's about to be bypassed.
We could build them a bypass monument.
They've got the decker.
One monument each.
And they've got the Toxman's mural.
And the Rugby League players mural.
A lot going for it.
Stop being greedy, Huntley.
Hands off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Rugby league players mural. A lot going for it. You still being greedy, Huntley? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Hands off.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.
There is a Instagram influencer.
I don't know how you'd say this.
K-K-V-S-H.
What's that in her name?
Kavish.
Kavish.
Okay.
Yeah, that's what it says.
Kavish.
Right.
Well, Kavish is making bank.
She's making good money.
And she puts it all down to her super long tongue.
What is she doing with it?
Well, she just posts Instagram photos like, here's a new.
Well, this is one, for example.
This has had 120,000 likes.
Right.
She said, guess the length for a follow back.
Happy hump day. And it's her tongue.
Her tongue extends down
well past her chin. The bottom of her chin.
Oh my god. She could probably touch
her eye. She looks bovine-esque.
Yes. She could touch her eye.
She should be in Kiss, that band. Like she looks
like she's had an extension.
That's crazy. That's nuts. Way longer
than Gene Simmons in Kiss. So she's
saying she made $99,000 this year
by simply posting pictures of her long tongue,
which reportedly stretches to six and a half inches.
And dudes just go crazy.
So you said influencer.
Is she selling like slim tees?
Is she like lapping up a bowl of slim tea with her tongue?
No.
I think people, well, there's two ways to do it.
People like to send her money.
Oh.
Sure.
And then she'll send them a picture of her tongue.
Well, no, no, she'll just put, they'll say,
I want to see you licking a green chubba chub.
Okay. And she'll be like, it cost you a thousand bucks. see you looking a green chubba chub. Okay.
So she'll be like, it cost you a thousand bucks.
And then she puts that up publicly.
Yeah.
And everyone digs it.
Well, not everybody, but some people.
And she also wears clothes with logos or brands or something in the photos and videos.
Oh, right.
And that actually makes money as well.
Could my tongue make money?
You're like tongue tiedtied, I think.
Just got a normal tongue, don't I? No, yours is short.
I've got a long tongue. I actually want you to give me money for having
seen that.
Because that was weird.
You're like, suck it out. It's real flat on the end.
What is flat on the end? I don't want to tongue
shame you, but your tongue, see how Megan's tongue's
pointier? That's how tongues
are supposed to be. I've got quite a long tongue, eh?
Yeah. Yours has got a flat
ended tongue.
Hers is like a shovel and yours is like a spade.
Thank you.
You can have different. Show me yours.
Yours is like.
Yours is short too.
Look at mine.
Yeah, yours goes down too like the bottom of yours.
Yours is quite long. Thank you.
I just figured out because I used to be able to touch the tip of my nose with my tongue,
but ever since I got like new teeth, I can't do it anymore.
So?
When did you get new teeth?
When did you get new teeth?
You never told us you got new teeth.
Yes, I did.
And you were like, why did you do that?
That would hurt.
And I had to explain to you that it didn't hurt.
We've had this conversation on air.
You get vinnies.
They're not vinnies.
They're composites.
We've spoken about this on air, you eggs.
No, we definitely haven't.
I did an article for ZM Online.
It's so nice to hear that you guys like.
But your new teeth.
Yeah.
Hello.
I feel like I'm married.
It's almost two years ago.
Before you got married.
No, no, no.
You can't expect me to remember that.
But I don't.
My memory works in I remember weird things from my childhood or yesterday.
That's the thing.
I don't remember things from...
I've lost the ability to touch my nose.
You've actually got quite a long tongue.
I don't know if that kind of...
Yeah.
Why have the new teeth affected your ability to hit your tongue?
I don't know.
No, they're thicker.
They're thicker.
Because they have to go over, don't they?
They have to go over the old tooth.
Oh, yuck.
Don't do that.
No, don't.
Stop doing that.
Well, the weirdest part is that when you go like that,
you like tilt your head up like...
It's going to help.
It's going to help your tongue get your nose,
but you haven't realised that your nose is also attached
to the face that you're moving.
Yeah, all right.
All right.
It's like the horse with the carrot.
Don't be jealous. So, Kavish
also sells her own merchandise.
Oh yeah. She sells longer
than usual iPhone chargers.
So like it's a longer cord. Oh, you're nice.
And, um, dirty
stuff too. Oh, you're alright.
ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
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