ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 19 2018

Episode Date: September 18, 2018

We found a hidden skill from Megan yesterday, This Is Why I'm Fat and what would you say to your pet?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Two minutes past six. The truckload of strawberries that you mentioned, Anya, in the news, that image, that made me so wild last night.

Devastating. Because one person's silly actions have cost so many. It must be more than one person. It's about six states in Australia. All the states in Australia. How many states in Australia? Six. Unless someone's literally just flown around every state.

Dropping needles. Or done it at the source of the strawberries, I don't know. But wave a metal detector over them and make them into jam, you know? But when you saw the truck dump them, I was like, not all of those are fully ripe, are they? You know when they go to the supermarket and you get a punnet and they're half white? There was a lot of half white.

Just a white. It's such a waste. I love strawberries so much. You're right. They could have made jam and they could have filtered out any metal. Because they have to obviously filter it, sieve it, don't they? And take out all the seeds and stuff. A waste.

What else can strawberries be made into? Jam. Compote. That's a jam though, isn't it really? It's a flash jam. Posh jam. That's a jam, though, isn't it, really? It's a flash jam, posh jam. It's a jam that's got ahead of itself. Frozen berries. Yeah, but that's just berries still.

You could still have a needle in that, couldn't you? That strawberry topping you buy, you put on your ice cream. Oh, yeah. But then that's a jam. But then that's that, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. Not a hugely versatile fruit. Yeah. It's a jam. But then that's that, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. Not a hugely versatile fruit. Yeah.

It's no potato. It's no banana. Yeah. I mean, bananas can just go and do anything. But a delicious fruit. You don't even really make a strawberry cake, do you? Like a cheesecake, maybe? Strawberry cheesecake?

I've never had a strawberry cake. Is that something we could look into? Yeah. Fletcher's just frantically googling. This is for strawberries. Well, we're just upsetting ourselves though because regardless, the truck still dumped all those strawberries. Yes, it is.

So many strawberries. I'm not saying... Okay, I've found 25 amazing things to do with strawberries. Stand by. Okay. Could the seeds be used as some sort of... Again, that's just topping on a cheesecake. It's just being a strawberry no, again, that's just topping on a cheesecake. It's just being a strawberry, right? It's being a strawberry on a cheesecake.

It's just stuff like that. Strawberries are best. They just stick into what they were bred to do. The ovaries of a flower, aren't they, really? Yeah. Coming up on the show, this is why I'm fat. We're going to take a look at some new food items. Not strawberry related?

That are coming our way. Well, hopefully coming our way. These are launching in the UK, but like when we mentioned M&M, you know the caramel M&Ms? They're here now, aren't they? We mentioned those a month or two ago. So I don't know why we get things last, but a new food,

some new flavours coming up that you might be into. The top six as well on the way before seven. Yeah, someone that wrote for Sesame Street for years and years and years said he always wrote Bert and Ernie with a gay couple in mind. Okay. So he said that they are gay? Has he outed them? See, my thing is I don't think he's allowed to say that they're gay,

but he said when he wrote them. In 1984. Yeah, but Megan, it should be them. It's their decision to come out, isn't it? He shouldn't be dragging the man out of the closet. He can't just out them. You know how they speak? Those are words that are written by a writer. What?

Excuse me, that was a... So the writer is in the mind of Bert and Ernie. I think he has the right to say. Megan, it's not his right to out them. It's their choice when they do it. Okay. Jim Henson went to the grave with many secrets about what those puppets got up to, sexually.

So the top six. Yeah, the top six coming up. The top six signs that were always there. We should have picked up on this earlier. Okay. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, three news headlines for story time.

Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, 24-carat butt. Headline two, hospital humble brag. I haven't heard that term for a while. Humble brag, yeah. It came in like four years, three, four years ago. You still hear humble bragging all the time. I just think we don't call it out as much.

No. And headline three, 2018 Father of the Year. I feel like he's not actually the father of the year. Wait! I know the story. Do you? You scared the shit out of me. Is this the guy that got arrested for driving his son and his girlfriend to the park in Florida?

I don't know. I haven't clicked the story. Click on it and see. So if it is, this guy, he got arrested because he drove his son to the park on the way they picked up the son's girlfriend. And he drove them there knowing that they were going to engage in sexual activities and they were both 15 years old. Oh no, this is a different story.

Then he parked them in a car park and the son and the girlfriend went away and started fooling around and the cops got called and the cops came and they said, what are you doing? And he's like smoking and you know. Yeah. How'd you get here?

Oh, my dad drove me. They go back to the car park. They're like, do you know what your son was doing over there? He's like, yeah, I assume he was hooking up

with that chick. He just wanted his son to like, yeah, but he was like, oh, I just wanted to know he got here safely. He was going to do it

with or without the ride here. I just wanted to know he got here safely. Oh no, this is a different story. Oh, okay. Yeah, a much worse story. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Because, yeah, it kind of was... Yeah. Because at the same time, at least the dad was looking out for him. He was worried about them.

He wanted them to be safe. Yeah. But, yeah, obviously you can't be seen to be helping out with that. That's illegal. No. Okay, so not that.

What was story number one again? So, 24-carat butt or headline two, hospital humble brag. Oh, I'd have either of those. Yeah. 24-carat butt. Yeah. B-U-T-T. B-U-T-T.

Like your boot on. Or hospital humble brag. Yeah. B-U-T-T. B-U-T-T. Like your boot on. Or a hospital humble brag. Yeah, go on. What? The 24-karat butt. You want that one? Yeah. Okay, we go now.

Oh, hang on. I've got to later allow news alerts. No, stop trying to sign me up for things. We go now to New Delhi. And this is reported in the Hindustan Times. Hindustan Times? Hindustan, in the Hindustan Times. Hindustan Times? Hindustan, yeah. Hindustan Times.

A man has been arrested by the customs department at the airport there after allegedly trying to smuggle one kg of gold by hiding it in his rick doom. How big is onekg of gold? Yeah. Is it a block? No, that's heavy. Well, I mean, obviously, they've used a stock image here

of like eight bars of gold and you're instantly like, whoa, how big is this guy's bird? So weighing 1.04kgs. So I don't know, you could have a Google at that. Okay. It's millimetre wise,

it's 112 centimetres. Jesus. 112 millimetres, so 11 centimetres. That's 10, 11 centimetres. By 5 centimetres. Oh, okay. So not huge, but still weird shape to get up your butt. Yeah, and a kg heavy.

Yeah. What's a kg? Like, would this cup be a kg? No. Maybe 200 grams, 250 grams. Oh, my, that's really heavy. Yeah. What's a kg? Like, would this cup be a kg? No. Maybe 200 grams, 250 grams. Oh, my, that's really heavy. Yeah. Because I instantly imagined that.

It's a litre of water. A litre of... Oh, God. So this drink bottle when it's full... That's how much it would weigh, but it would be... But it's very tiny. Yeah. Okay.

Well, the 24-year-old was arrested upon arrival from Dubai on Monday and examined. It was discovered that the accused had hidden nine gold bars weighing 1.4 kgs. Oh, so he'd gone for smaller. He'd gone for smaller nuggies, I guess. Right. And he was arrested. No word on how they found out this guy had them. Maybe he was acting suspiciously.

If that's nine bars. He was jangling when he was walking because there were nine separate bits of metal. You know those big gold bars that you imagine in your mind? Yeah. Those are like 12 kgs. So it's almost one of those. No, it's not. No, because it's one point.

It was one kg. Oh, I think you said nine kgs. No, no, no, no, no. It was nine almost one of those. No, it's not. No, because it's one point. It was 1kg. Oh, I think you said 9kg. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was 9 and up to 1kg. Not 9 1kg blocks. I was like, that's a lot to hide in your anus. Oh, yeah, that's a lot up the anus. So he was travelling on a French passport.

He arrived and so they must have profiled him. Would they put you up on the scanner, you know, when you walk through? Yes, because it is metal. No, but it's inside, isn't it? Yeah, it's not. There's, you know, your bodies. Maybe that x-ray scanner would they show up? Sorry, I meant the x-ray scanner.

Do you mean the beeper where you walk through the marchway? Yeah. The pergola. Yeah, the pergola. The detection pergola. The detection pergola. Yeah. the pergola. The detection pergola. The detection pergola. Yeah. Just need some, they should put vines on them.

They should grow roses up the sides. That would be really nice. And roses wouldn't work actually because there's no natural light, but they could get like a low light climber. Yeah, yeah. That'd actually look really nice. Yeah. Real nice.

But no, I thought those detected metal, is that only external metal? Yeah. Because hip joints set it off. And so my mum always gets set off. My mum's got a... Oh, I never had screws. Well, you'd just say that, wouldn't you? My screws never set it off.

Oh, really? Maybe it's only big, thick bits of metal. Oh, my mum's got a big old crowbar of metal in there. Yeah, but it wasn't her half ages ago when they were using, like, steel. Steel girders. Five years ago. Oh, okay. Six years ago. They were using steel. She actually got years ago. Oh, okay. Six years ago.

They were using steel. She actually got it melted down from September 11th. Yeah. It looks like the Eiffel Tower. She got an I-bam. Yeah. She got an I-bam from the 9-11 attacks

melted down into a hip joint. Brilliant. It was a while ago, yeah. Yeah. Prior to that, they were just using scraps from the Titanic for hip joints.

And those were our two supplies of metal exhausted that we know of. Scrap metal. Good luck having a hip replacement now. We better wait for the next natural disaster until MH370 washes up. FM. SpaceX is Elon Musk's space department. That sounds nuts. He's got a space department, a flamethrower department. Yeah, a tunnel department. And a car department. The car department. That sounds nuts. He's got a space department, a flamethrower

department. Yeah, a tunnel department. And a car department. The car department. Battery department. He's got lots of things. The Hyperloop I put under tunnel. Yeah, same. Does he still do the PayPal department or did he sell that? Sell that. That's how he made all of his money. PayPal.

Well, SpaceX has had the dream about space tourism for a while. There's a little bit of a race for space tourism because Virgin was still in the space tourism race, eh, Virginia? Yeah, but theirs blew up. Yeah, yeah. Their test rocket blew up, didn't it? Yeah, but they're still testing.

Yeah. It's still happening. That's why you've got to test these things before you strap some rich humans in them. Yeah. But SpaceX has revealed their first paying customer. Okay.

And it is a Japanese billionaire, 42-year-old Yusaku Maezawa. Okay. And I was like, who is this? Because whenever I hear billionaire, I'm like, I should have heard of them.

I don't know why because there's so many billionaires in the world now, but I'm like, what do they do? How did they make money? I must have purchased the product. I don't know why, because there's so many billionaires in the world now, but I'm like, what do they do? How did they make money? I must have purchased the product. Maybe I could do what they've done and make some money.

I've looked into what this guy is. He's going to be SpaceX's first paying space customer. He started an online fashion retailer called Zozo Town, and that's Japan's largest online fashion retail website, Zozo Town and that's Japan's largest right online fashion retail website Zozo Town

have you heard of that Megan no see that's crazy right yeah he started Japan you don't you haven't heard

of Japan's largest online oh yeah but it's I just imagine it's all cat t-shirts it is like Hello Kitty stuff

all in Japanese so of course it is I know but that's in Japanese So I Of course it is I know but that's like Why would I Hang on I've got to translate this page He found it start today as well

That was his earlier thing It's kind of like ASOS I guess Right okay Japanese ASOS Yeah So actually this is A really interesting thing

That he's done He Under Zozo The apparel brand He launched the Zozo suit This year And this has What was that? Are you talking about Are you about to talk about done. He, under Zozo, the apparel brand, he launched the Zozo suit this year. And this has, what was that? Are you about to talk about this Zozo

suit? Yeah. Oh yes. Have you heard of this? I'm just looking at it. It's amazing. Show me. You download an app and you do your measurements at home. Like you measure yourself for a suit, you fill it all in in the app, you send it away, and a suit gets delivered to you.

A custom made suit. Madness. So it looks like you put on some kind of. It's like senses like you're in a movie. You're about to be animated in a movie. Like little dots on it. And then it takes a photo of that and then measures your. That's insane.

That's like almost better than measurements because you get a tape around the tummy, a tape around the chest. Well, that's like the new AI augmented reality, AR augmented reality stuff on the new iPhone and stuff and those measurement apps. You just point at a box and it'll measure it. Yeah. So if you were going to career something, it would just come up with the dimensions.

Using trigonometry. Really? You know how, you know the Syntan cos button on the calculator? We're all just like, we'll never use it. Well, again, we don't need to use it because the iPhones are doing it. I told them. Because you showed me that. I was like, how?

Yeah. So your phone measures the distance between it and the package and then works out the angles, can see the angles, and then from there it can work out the dimensions of the package. But again, we didn't need that because the iPhone's done it. I know. I told you, school. But somebody used it from school.

Oh, right. Somebody. To make it so we never have to use it from school. Those are my favourite people from school. Excellent. The people that did the stuff, so I don't need to. So this billionaire that runs this Japanese ASOS, whatever it's called, where's he going?

Just doing a loop around Earth or something? He's going to the moon. Does he do a loop around the moon? Or does he stop at the moon, walk around, and then come back? No, no, no, they're all getting out. Just a loop around. Yeah, they're just at the stage now where they'll just go for a loop around the moon.

Okay. Yeah. Mind you, he's going to have to hang in there because they're saying it won't be happening for another five years. So does that mean Virgin Galactic, they're not going around the moon though, they're just going out of space. Up into the

space and then back down. Right. Yeah. Wow. Okay. How much, does it say how much he's paid? I mean, obviously money's no option for him. Oh, no, I don't know how much he's paid to be part of it. Did you see the rocket that Elon's planning to send up there for that? The BFR rocket? Yeah, it's huge.

Yeah, it's a pretty sweet looking rocket. It's like what rockets look like in old science fiction movies. We might have to give that Thai rescue diver a free ride because that guy's taking him to court now. I read this yesterday because Elon Musk came out and said, oh, that guy's a pedo. He's taking him to court. Yes, he's being, he's. Yeah, I read this yesterday because, you know, Elon Musk came out and said, oh, that guy's a pedo. Yeah. He's taken him to court.

He only wants $76,000. I know. Yeah, it's like New Zealand, $110,000 or something. Yeah, his name was muddied around the world. And it's Elon Musk. You know he's good for it. Yeah, I'd be asking for $4 billion. And then they'll whittle it down.

I'd be asking for like one of everything he's doing. I'd want a flamethrower. I'd want a car. Yeah, I'd want a shares $4 billion. And then they'll whittle it down. I'd be asking for, like, one of everything he's doing. I'd want a flamethrower. I'd want a car. Yeah, I'd want a shares. I'd want a rocket. And a tunnel board. I'd want a battery pack. 100% tunnel board.

Yeah, a lot. A good one, not that cheap one. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. A look at new food.

Trends, new foods appearing. Often foods not good for you. No. High on the calories. I don't think we've ever done a food that was low in calories. Nobody's inventing new vegetables. Actually, I heard about a new vegetable yesterday. What?

And I thought I must discuss this with you, and we'll talk about this more. Yakin. Yakin? Now, you would have come across it in Colombia because it's grown in the Andes is where it's native. See, see. So the top of it looks like a daisy.

It's like bacon with a Y on the front, and it's like a potato, except it's good for you. Shut it. I know. Shut. I know. I was very excited. Oh, it looks like a kumara.

Yeah. Because they do have a lot of that. A bit like a kumara. Yeah, like kind of that chewy potato-y stuff. Yeah. But it's not potato. It's almost like a taro or a plantain. Yeah, it's a little bit taro-y kumara, I think.

Right. But apparently. This thing says it has natural weight loss, rich in antioxidants and boost metabolism, and it's like a potato. And it's called yakin, so it sounds like bacon. If we deep fry it, does that undo the... Yes.

Unless we deep fry it in more yakin. Unless the deep friedness enhances the weight loss properties. That could happen. But it could explain why Colombians are so hot. Bingo. They make yakin slices, but it's just chippies because it's sliced up and then in a bag, it looks like chips.

Bacon, yakin, bacon, bacon, yakin. Well, no, vegetables, not what we're talking about today. This is why I'm fat. M&M's are launching three new flavours and these have been profiled by a man called Brent Tim, who runs a blog. And has two first names. And has two first names.

He runs Snap Chat Live. I like this. I like Snapchat. I can get behind that. His Facebook page has got like 3,000. He's got an Instagram, and he just looks at new food and different junk foods, really. Where are they doing this?

Is it Japan, the home of the wacky flavoured chocolates? No. So at the moment, these are only available in America, who have a heap of different M&M flavours. But like when we mentioned the M&M caramels, they're everywhere now in New Zealand. So eventually they do kind of sneak in. But I don't know if these will. So three new flavours. And I'll start with a standard flavour.

English toffee. Okay, so that's a bit like caramel. Except slightly chewier. A bit chewier. Okay, here's where it gets weird. And this is where I'm out. Maybe I'd try a handful. Thai coconut.

No, I like Thai coconut. What's wrong with that? It would be like a green Thai coconut curry, wouldn't it? No, it's probably coconut with a bit of lime or something. The Thais do like a coconut rice pudding and it's really yum. I'm thinking more of a sweet Thai coconut. Okay, right. You know, not your curry.

I feel, because I thought they were going for a green curry flavour. No, no, no. They make a range of desserts and stuff with coconut. Okay. Well, you see, I of desserts and stuff with coconut. Okay. Well, you see, I love coconut and I love lime. So that could be a good mix. Did you have these things? Now, I don't know.

That's called a kham nom wan thai. It's a coconut, like a coconut pudding. Like a jelly thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a jelly in Thailand. And it sits inside a leaf. That texture scares me. It does. It looks scares me. It does.

It looks like real... It looks like icing. How do you get on travelling? I get by. How fun is the food? I get by. I think he finds fun in other herbs. Oh, okay.

Excuse me. Keep your mind on the food, please. The third flavour, and this is controversial, Mexican jalapeno peanut. Mexican jalapeno peanut. Mexican jalapeno peanut. So spicy peanuts. You know, like chili chocolate. I don't think there'd be bugger all chocolate involved

because there's not a lot of chocolate in a peanut M&M. It's more the candy covering. Oh, yeah. So you reckon it's a peanut. Yeah. Covered in a hot spicy peanut with a candy covering. Yeah, right. Okay. Noed in a hot spicy peanut with a candy covering. Yeah, right. Okay.

No, look, when you said spicy. You know, like chili chocolate. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And then I thought about the peanut. It's going to play a major role. I'm down to try that, though. I think that would be nice. That could easily be a favorite.

Spicy and sweet. Out in the United States, whether or not they make it to New Zealand, whether or not New Zealand is up for a spicy jalapeno M&M, we'll find out. There's an interesting, this has been ruled upon, but an interesting situation involving trimming your neighbour's trees. That's not a euphemism, by the way. That's actually trimming your neighbor's trees. That's not a euphemism, by the way. That's actually trimming your neighbor's trees and access to the internet.

Okay. So a couple in north of Auckland, they wanted the neighbor to trim back the trees on the boundary, but they were on the neighbor's side. So they said, we wanted to trim the trees because it's affecting our view. Right. And she's like, nah. And so these things, as they do, lawyers get involved and it ends up in court.

Yeah. So the original ruling was that the neighbor's trees would have to be trimmed. And the neighbor was like, no, I'm not. So they go for a rehearing rather than just trimming the trees, which, by the way, I don't know if it was a cost thing in trimming the trees, but surely the minute you go to court, you might as well have just paid. Oh, yeah, paying a lawyer all that money. Yeah.

Just trim the trees. Anyway, one of the things that ends up being involved is the neighbours have actually said, and my parents had this sort of internet connection, that the trees are affecting their ability to connect to the internet. Right. So this is a type, if you're a rural listener, you might have line of sight internet,

which is like you've got a receiver in your house and there's a receiver somewhere in your neighborhood. Like my parents was at the local school, which was up the road but higher, and you had to be able to see it. But when it got windy, the neighbor's tree would just, like, interfere with the line of sight connection. Oh, that sounds horrible.

You're trying to watch The Crown on Netflix. I can imagine your mom watching The Crown. Loves a bit of Claire Foy. Cutting out. Yeah. So this is what they're saying is that now the interference with the Wi-Fi signal by trees would constitute an undue interference with the reasonable use and enjoyment

of an applicant's land for the purpose. So now they have to cut the trees down. Well, no, because the final ruling was that they did not have a case with the Wi-Fi argument because the trees were there before the Wi-Fi connection. Right. So it's not like the trees grew up and blocked the Wi-Fi connection. They got the Wi-Fi connection. And it can be sorted.

They could get the receiver put out on a pole and then run a cable to their house. And they're like, we don't want to. They're like, wow. You've got to make some sacrifice. God, some people hate their neighbours, eh? Yeah. So that's a new thing.

And this lawyer's like, while they can run a pole out and put the receiver in the paddock, it's not an option for everybody. So, like, if your neighbours are affecting your Wi-Fi, it's the same as, like, your neighbours opening a piggery next door because it, well, that's an old

comparison that they made. You wouldn't open a piggery because then that would affect, it would make a stink, and that would be interference with the reasonable use and enjoyment of your land. What about if my neighbour's tree just blocks my afternoon sun? Cut it down or just poison it while they're away. Ring bark it, yeah.

On holiday, just drill holes in it and poison it. Oh, what happened? Oh, what happened to the tree? It's really obvious when people do that, by the way. How? She had a tree poisoned. One side of it dies. Did you? One side of when people do that, by the way. We had a tree. How? She had a tree poisoned. One side of it dies.

Did you? One side of it dies. We'll poison the other side too. You've got to ring back the whole thing. You've got to poison the whole thing. Do it right. Don't be an amateur with your poisoning of a tree. Don't half-arse it. Poison it to kill it.

Don't poison it to stunt its growth. Get in there and kill that tree. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six deals with the fact that long-time writer of Bert and Ernie has said that he wrote them with a gay couple in mind. He said that it reflected his own relationship. Mark Saltzman joined the Sesame Street in 1984,

and he wrote Bert Nooney as a gay couple. He was in a same-sex relationship at the time. Okay. And he said a lot of the interactions reflected things that were happening in his life. Right. So, I mean, that's as official word as you're going to get, isn't it? You'd have an argument and you're like This is going to end up in the Sesame Street sketch

Yeah He said it wasn't without agenda It wasn't without a huge agenda I didn't have Any other way to contextualise them So yeah They were just a couple Living together lovers

So the top six signs that they were in a relationship all along. Number six, have you heard the way Bert talked to Ernie? No patience at all, no patience at all. Basically how my wife talks to me 90% of the time. Classic relationship way of dealing with each other. You pass the politeness, you just get into the point. But there's love under there, isn't there? Yeah, there's a lot of love.

Have you met you though? Like, it's hard to have patience. I am an Ernie. You're so an Ernie. I'm an Ernie in every aspect of life. You're the Bert to my Ernie. In more ways than one. Number five on the top six signs

that Bert and Ernie were in a relationship all along. They both had their alone time hobbies. Okay. Bert loved times with the pigeons. Yeah. Bert was a big fan of pigeons, had his own pigeons. And Ernie loved to hop off. It's important to have things that you love to do by yourself.

Yeah. If it was modern times, Bert would probably be playing Fortnite and Ernie would probably be watching Love Island. Yeah. Or vice versa. Sure. Number four on the list of the top six signs Bert and Ernie were in a relationship all along.

They always wore matching outfits. Stripes, sure, but one horizontal, one vertical. It's called fashion, darling. Look it up. And they never clashed. Yeah, right. It was always fashion, darling. Look it up. And they never clashed. Yeah, right. It was always quite complimentary stripes.

Okay. Hold on. Which one was in the... Which stripes make you look... Which one you shouldn't wear... You shouldn't wear horizontal stripes. Horizontal stripes.

If you want something to look bigger like your butt or your boobs or whatever, you wear horizontal stripes over there. Horizontal stripes?

Yeah. Not vertical? No. Oh, because Bert always wore the vertical stripes and he was the skinnier of the two. Yeah, vertical makes you look skinnier. Right. So it was all an illusion. Yeah.

And Ernie was the horizontal across stripes. Gave him a broader set. Yeah. Bit of a bear situation going on there. Okay, sure. So number three on the list of the top six signs Bert and Ernie were in a relationship all along. They didn't really leave the house all that much.

Every good couple knows there's no point leaving the house. It's a hassle. Ernie would venture into Sesame Street every now and then, but often reluctantly. Bert, however, total homebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You never really saw Bert

outside the house. And Ernie always knew where home was. Yeah. He'd always be home at the end of the day. Number two on the signs that Bert and Ernie

were in a relationship all along, they always sat in the same chair. Do you have a spot you always sit in? Yeah. Yeah.

We've always, we've got set furniture pieces. That's sad. I know. My wife always sits. If she lies down, she lies on the three-seater. But if she's sitting, she'll sit in the one-seater. I'm just the two-seater all the time.

Okay. I'll sit all night. Which is weird because I'm way too old then. I should have the lie down for the three. Yeah, you should. She should sit in the one, lie in the two. I should sit in the two, lie in the three. But we don't and we can't explain it.

And that's how you know that Bert and Ernie were a couple as well. And the number one sign, Bert and Ernie were in a relationship all along. They slept in different beds. Right. And so did my grandparents. In fact, my grandparents were basically Bert and Ernie. I never saw them kiss. They argued heaps.

One frustrated the other. Yeah. And they slept in separate beds. Yeah. And they were married until the day they passed away. So maybe we should all take a leaf out of Burt Nooney's relationship book. That is today's top six. FVM, the podcast.

We watched yesterday as Megan applied, what would you call it? Vinyl. Vinyl sticker. Yeah, to a car. You see cars that are sign written, like police cars, ambulances. It's all, what, printed out, isn't it? Yeah, you get it laser cut and then it goes onto like a sticky piece of paper and then you have to put it, like stick it onto the car.

Yeah. But as you discovered, it's quite a skill. Because your dad is a sign writer. Yeah. Now yesterday we were filming season two of... Episode two. I don't think you can call it an episode season. The first season was one episode.

You're allowed to have a one episode season. It was a pilot. We made it through pilot season. Oh, we made it through pilot season. So we started... S-O-1-E-O-2. Oh, we made it through pilot season. So we started. This is SO1EO2. Yeah, we started filming more episodes of our show. Community Frontline. Community Frontline. Did you forget the name of it?

Yeah. Obviously, it's so successful that the guy in it can't even remember what it's called. No, Community Frontline. And we decided that it would be funny if the Community Frontline Patrol had a sign-ridden vehicle. Yeah, a little Toyota Corolla. So we asked your dad, we asked Megan's dad, we're like, hey, can you make some free stickers? Yeah, actually my brother did it.

I'll get in trouble if I don't say that. My brother printed it out, sent it up. And so, yeah, it comes on like a little sheet that you have to roll out. It's a piece of paper and it's got the sticker on it. But you've got to be careful because it's each individual letter. It's separate. You've got it's got the sticker on it. But you've got to be careful because it's each individual letter. It's separate. You've got to get it straight. No bubbles. And Fletch and I were

trying to do it together and Fletch just wanted to slap it on and I was like, no, no, no. No patience. I'm like, just put it on and roll it on. No. And I got, you gave me your one card and I had a little scraper. So you have to do it each individual letter. So you don't get bubbles and folds. But each individual letter but in one smooth flow

so that the letters all stay at the same spacing yeah it's very technical yeah it was good and then Caitlin helped me on the other sticker

and she like peeled it all off and then the sticker got stuck to the car one of the letters came off we should probably say thank you to Caitlin too because it's her car that now has

community frontline stickers on it and probably for the next two or three weeks. I was too scared to use one of the work pool cars. I was like, who cares? She'll tell us off. The woman in charge of the work pool cars. She's scary, that woman. I'm like, pfft. Remember she clamped Jase's car. Who cares? She towed

my car. She towed Caitlin. Not anymore with community. So we owe her a sticker on a vehicle that can't be removed easily. Yeah, but you're acting like these people didn't deserve it. Your car was not supposed to be there and neither was Jase's. Well, it She's not to be. So we owe her a sticker on a vehicle that can't be removed easily. Yeah, but you're acting like these people didn't deserve it. Your car was not supposed to be there and neither was Jace's.

Well, it's not going to be towed anymore with community front line on it. No, that's the thing. It makes Bridget look legit, I reckon. Were you getting looks

yesterday driving around? And then I forgot and I came out this morning and I was like, whose car is this? Well, you're in a sign written vehicle now so you're going to have

to drive very carefully. You don't want to bring the brand into this. We're not filming for another, like, two weeks, so it's got to be on for at least two weeks. It's so embarrassing. But it was amazing watching the fact that you'd picked up these little-known skills,

like, quite unique skills for the industry. Yeah, I could sign-write your car if need be. Yeah. But also, that's when I explained to you, so when I was younger, I used to have to, to like get a craft knife and sit in the garage. Dad would give me all these like little vinyl things

that I'd have to pick out the letters. So like for an example, on an R, there's the circle in the middle of the R. So when it laser cuts it, it doesn't remove that. I have to pick it out. So you have to manually,

and same with O's, P's. You could pick it out once it's stuck on the car, but that's a messy business that you pick it out before the stick. Pre manually, and same with O's, P's. You could pick it out once it's stuck on the car, but that's a messy business, so you pick it out before the stick. Pre-picks. Right. Pre-stick pick. And sometimes it's like really little and fiddly, and Dad doesn't want to do it.

So I used to sit in the garage with a craft knife, and he'd be like, how are you getting on? Oh, that's a bit rough. I want to be a bit more careful. But ours, this medial task. Were you paid? No. With accommodation and food.

Oh, that old parental chestnut. I'm sure if you ever bought up the fact that you'd like some money, he'd remind you that you live there for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got food and shelter. Shut your mouth. Am I getting paid for this? You're getting paid with dinner tonight.

You're getting picking. And so you'd end up like helping and put signs on and everything. Picking up all these skills. And it's one of those weird little things that you're like, I had no idea that you could do it. And then yesterday I watched you do it and I was like, impressive. Impressive. Thank you.

With the one card. Yeah, it was impressive. As soon as that fletch was like. And then when it came to pulling off the top thing, I knew you had to get it on one like fluid string. And you have to pull it off close to that. I'm like, no, I've never done sign writing before. You're not good with fiddly tasks either.

No, I don't know patience. But is it the same as screen protectors or the old Duracell application? Yeah. That's why I don't like screen protectors on my phone. I just risk it because I don't like bubbles. And if it's not a perfect surface, I'm not happy. I can't deal with it. My screen protector on my iPad,

the home button at the bottom isn't perfectly central in the circle and I see it every time I open my iPad. That would annoy me. But you would have had to help out your parents on the farm. That was their job. Anything about farming. Is there one particular thing that you've got good at that's like a weird skill?

That us city folk... I wouldn't say I've got good at anything. You used to put your hand up though. No, I never did that. Oh, I know you just said I had to touch the horses. Horns made horses. That was,

I helped them out. Yeah. At what age is that appropriate? Young. Okay. But it was just what you did. It was a thoroughbred horse farm. The horses,

you know how big and powerful horses are? Yeah. And imagine you being that big and powerful, and then when you're in the throes of erotic passion, you're kind of just a bit like, wah, all over the show. And he couldn't get it in, so I just had to help him out. Hey, it was that, or literally, I'm not even like $100,000 could have ended up on the ground.

It was a very important horse, and I touched his penis. Except what happens every time you... It costs, like, if you get a really good one, it costs a fortune. Like, this dude is literally making his pimp or his thoroughbred owner, I call him the pimp, because that's basically what he's doing. He's paying for, he's getting paid for this dude to do it. Yeah, it's a very expensive business for the thoroughbreds. Can we take some calls? Like Megan

having to pick letters, tiny little letters, off screen printing or Vaughn having to impregnate horses. Sorry, helping to impregnate horses. I wasn't impregnating them. What jobs did your parents make you do as a kid? Maybe they dragged you along to

their job so you could do the boring, crappy tasks that they didn't want to their job so you could do the boring, crappy, medial tasks that they didn't want to do. Or maybe they had a business at home you had to help out in. Or they put you in the courier truck and you had to run parcels in or something.

I don't know. What jobs did you have to do? School holidays is always a big one. That's when parents will drag you along to work and make you do stuff like that. And school holidays

is coming up as well. So 0800 DALZITM 9696. What little annoying jobs did your parents always make you do stuff like that. And school holidays are coming up as well. So 0800 DALS at M9696. What little annoying jobs did your parents always make you do? We're talking about the jobs you did for your parents when you were growing up. Probably no payment involved. Just a bloody get to it and get it done. You get food, don't you, every day? Yeah.

A free place to sleep. They love to say that. They love that. That's a huge fan. So some text messages in on the jobs that your parents made you do growing up. Somebody said, we owned a sheep

farm and our job as kids was to shovel the sheep shit into bags for the garden and to sell because we were small enough to fit under the wool shed but nobody else was. That's a classic. But also like, yuck, you don't want to do that as an adult. No, you go down and there's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. Yuck., yuck, you don't want to do that as an animal. No, you go down, and there's a lot. Yeah.

It's a lot. Yuck. You know how they see on the shearing, you know when they're shearing and they're finishing them and they chuck them down the hole? Yep. They skid down that. Yep.

So when they skid down that, they leave like, is it lanolin? Is that like the oil? Lanolin. That wood is lovely wood. Right. It's absolutely soaked in lanolin and really skiddy. So when you're a kid, it'd be fun to slide down there, but you didn't think about at the end,

there was just going to be like heaps of poos because they also shit themselves because they're so scared as they go flying down. Oh. So yeah, that's it. As I was laughing about that, I said, oh, that's probably quite people who do think a sheep's freaking out. They're fine.

They're absolutely fine. All right, some calls in. Sarah Lee, what jobs did your parents make you do as a kid? My dad owned a bar and a restaurant, so he would come home at 3 a.m. every morning and put the tea towels in the washing machine, and it would be my job every morning before school to hang them up and then bring them in after school, fold them,

and then when I got my driver's license, I had to deliver them as well. How many tea towels are we talking? Lots. Like bar towels, tea towels, probably at least 30 a day, I'd say. Was he not signed up to Elko, the towel place that comes once a week and drops off a tonne of towels? Not when you've got a teenager at home that can do them. No, yeah.

Exactly. Save your money. And a bloody one of those old Fisher and Parkles, you know when they built washroom shoes to last? Let's keep going. You've got all day. You've got all day. Thanks, you call Sarah Lee.

Kirsty, what job did your dad make you do? My dad was a milkman in the UK, and on the weekends when he was too hungover to read the book himself, he used to make me sit in the passenger seat and run all the milk to everybody's front door. And in the school holidays, he used to let me sit on the back of the milk truck with my feet dangling down.

It's a treat. Cheap babysitter, isn't it? I'm basically a slave runner. I like that your dad was too hungover to walk milk in, but he was all right to drive. Yeah, I know. He was going slowly and the milk siren thing was going, so it kept him awake.

Yeah, what a place to be hung over, though. I'm not paid in bacon rolls. Chocolate milk as well. Oh, yum. Yeah, if you're hung over. Grab a chunky milk for it. Kirsty, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in.

My job was to stand up chi bottles when they fell over on the bottling line. Chi. Shh, shh, shh. The drink that I... this is a throwback. It's Chee. It's the drink that knows its own name. Chee. Chee.

Chee. It's how the ad, what is that? Well, I'm actually saying how it should sound. No. It's Chee. Chee. Chee. That's not Chee though, is it?

It's Chee. Now I had an issue with that ad because it's not, when you open a fizzy bottle, it doesn't say ch. It's more like ch. So it doesn't know it's own name. It's stupid. But ch could be ch. You bet there's no e is there. Okay, well, we can debate this.

You know, I've never had a bottle of that in my whole life. I think I have. It's quite nice. It was very, it was quite posh back in the day. It's like herbal. It's got, is it quite posh back in the day. It's like herbal. It's got, is it honey?

Is it flavoured with honey? Maybe? It's quite sweet, hey? They do have a stevia one. You know what? I'm going to buy myself a bottle. Do they still have it? Yeah.

It's one of those things mum's like, you don't need that. Mum would say that, you don't need that. And because I got told that so much as a child, now, like, I can't stop myself. Like, if I see something, I'm like, oh, I'd like to try that. Inside there's a voice saying, you don't need that. And then I say, you can't tell me what to do. And it makes for a really weird thing to witness in the supermarket for other shoppers.

Yeah, because you're a grown adult. I'm a grown man, Mum. You can't tell me what to do. Who's he talking to? Some of the text messages. And my parents owned a butcher shop. My job was making kebabs. That's handy, though, because now you'd be able to make a ripper kebab at a barbecue.

And cutting the links in pre-cooked sausages and then bagging them in twelves. Yeah, right. So that'd be a good skill to be able to twist a sausage. Did you have to do any jobs on the farm, Caitlin, when you were growing up? Yeah, well, we didn't have a farm, but Dad had a big shed and we had to go sit in there and wire the frames for the beehives. That sounds like quite an important job. Yeah, we had to wear gloves and Dad would come and check and if they weren't tight enough, we'd start again.

Oh, my God. So the wires are what the bees build their combs on. Yeah. So it was a production. We'd sit there and then Whitney and I, my sister, we weren't allowed to do it At the same time Because we fought So we'd have to go

One at a time And have shifts Oh really As shift workers Did you get paid in anything I think we got like 50 cents per box Or something

And there was like That's pretty good Well no But there's like 20 frames per box It takes a while Oh right Oh you weren't being paid

Per frame You were being paid Per box Some other texts My parents got me to roll their cigarettes When I was 12 I could do a 30 gram of Port Royal In a couple of hours

Have those all rolled up into cigarettes Wow That's Great That's what you want to teach your kids eh Yeah You want to teach them morals You want to teach them kindness

Yeah And you want to teach them the role of fitty Yeah In like a couple of hours tops You want to teach them morals. You want to teach them kindness. Yeah. And you want to teach them the role of fitty. Yeah. And like a couple of hours tops. And don't make the filter loose. Like, yeah, pack it in. Start again.

The filters are loose. Big fans in the show of Alp Stewart always have been, and we're even bigger fans of the man himself, Ray Ma. He announced yesterday that after 30 years on Home and Away, he's going to step down. So he will be, I don't know if he hasn't said how, we don't know if he's going to

be killed off or whether he's just going to leave and then maybe he could come back in guest appearances. I reckon that's probably what they'd go for. Because that's what Pippa did, eh? But old mates don't leave a small town. They retire there, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. Where's he going? Unless he moves to the Goldie. It hasn't

happened yet, eh? So storyline's not out of what's happening. Storyline's not out about what's happening. But he is leaving home and away to do a 10th anniversary celebration tour of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Because he did the Sydney show. He came to New Zealand, right? tour of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Because he did the Sydney show. He came to New Zealand, right, and did Priscilla.

It was amazing. And he said he just couldn't turn down the opportunity to reprise his role as Bob. He said Bob's a fun character. He's like Alf on Valium. And he said, I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd ever do a big musical like Priscilla because singing and dancing aren't my forte, but I just love it.

He was great in that. Like when that came a couple of years ago and we had him in and talked to him. So good. So good. But he's, remember, he's 74. Like he looks fantastic for 74 and he's still like singing and dancing

and working his butt off. Yeah. Like what an inspiration. Good on him. And just the nicest guy. Because I remember the first time before we met him, I was like, I'm quite scared because it's Alf Stewart and he looks grumpy, doesn't he, all the time.

Just the sweetest man. The loveliest man you'll ever meet. And he always remembers everyone's names. Yeah. Yeah, so going to be stepping down from home and away after 30 years. Just on the Alf Stewart Wikipedia page. Because I thought it would be, it would have some statistics.

Because I reckon somebody's got to go into the statistics of the Alf Stewart character. How many times has he said Stone the Flame of Crows? How many times has he almost died? Yeah, or like, you know, his scares, his romances. But one thing it does have here is his occupation. Caravan park owner, bottle shop owner, bait shop owner, general store owner, surf club committee member,

co-owner of the diner, barman, fisherman, tour guide, volunteer search and rescue. That's right. He did the volunteer search and rescue. He's always there when there's like a bushfire or someone's gone missing in the bush. He is a pillar of the community. Isn't he?

He absolutely is. He absolutely is. Did he own those all at the same time? Because he still owns the caravan park, doesn't he? Well, exactly. When he comes to sell up,

there's going to be a lot of for sale signs around. I haven't seen an Ip for so long. Well, he's still there. Still going strong. How many people has he worked with

that went on to become all massive? He's been there since the going strong. How many people has he worked with that went on to become huge and famous? He's been there since the start, so anyone who's ever gone through Home and Away that was famous, he knows them. So every Australian actor ever. Pretty much. Yes. Just that has reminded me,

the photo out today of our three female prime ministers together, isn't that an epic photo? They look great. Gosh, Helen looks lovely. I've said it to you all morning. She looks so lovely. Jenny Shipley, remember she was Prime Minister years and years ago. That's Megan's. You know her. My distant relative. Yeah, because like leadership

and like trailblazing runs in the blood. Yeah. I couldn't even keep a straight face. Did it stop before you? Oh. Oh. Damn it.

I think we can all agree that getting rid of plastic bags is a good thing. The supermarket's doing it, so we can use reusable bags. I'm taking a bit of adjusting. Yeah. It's hard because you forget them. Do you know now, though, I've started in my gym bag, I chuck a couple in there, supermarket bags. Because I always go after the gym. So I'm getting into the routine of,

but then sometimes I'll forget because I won't put them back. It's hard. But I've literally got them on my passenger seat in my car. And then I just get out of the car. But at least you can trolley to the car. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Trolley to the car and then pack it at the car. But it's

caused a different problem because people are obviously forgetting their reusable bags and now a couple of countdown stores are saying that their baskets are being nicked. Oh, I get this. So people are just taking the baskets

home. They're like, well, screw you for not giving me a free bag. But then the trouble is you've got your basket and your boot, right? Then you've got to remember to take the basket back in. But do you think people are making them their personal baskets? They're leaving them in the car and they're just bringing them into the supermarket each time. But then you'd forget. Why do you remember a basket and not a reusable bag? Yeah, true.

Are they biffing them? But they've got such a problem, like they're losing all these baskets because people are taking the baskets out to the car. You just chuck it in your boot. Why are they letting them leave the store with the basket? I've been told not to load it back into the basket before. Oh, really?

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It is only a matter of time before they put the beepy things on them, the tags. Oh, so when you go out the door, So when you go out the thing, it's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, that's true.

Because my local supermarket, the big one near me has an invisible barrier where if you wheel a trolley past it, the wheels lock up. Dangerous. So you can't take the, so you're shopping home. You're riding it down a hill you're like wee and then

your wheels lock up. I should have known. Where is the invisible barrier? Outside the door. It's outside the car park, right? Outside the car park, yeah. But then I don't know because I've seen some homeless people turn them into their, like, trolley for personal effects.

Yeah. And they're using them. So I don't know if you can somehow jimmy the wheel and chop shop your wheels. I don't know. Put some new wheels on it. Steal some wheels off another suburban trolley. Because our trolleys don't have that.

There's a trolley outside my house. I'm absolutely puzzled as to how it got there. It's a 2K walk. Yeah. Shortest way possible. 2K walk to the supermarket. Wasn't there a stat just the other day of a clean up in West Auckland in a river? Was it West Auckland?

No, no, no. It was South Auckland. Yeah, maybe. It was one of the inner parts of the Manukau Harbour. Easy mistake to make. And they found hundreds of trolleys. West, south, parts of Auckland. Yeah, they did.

They did a, was it a net sweep or a dredge? Was there lots of trolleys? Oh, my God. They had a picture of them. Hundreds. Yeah, and some of them have been in there since like the 80s. Like there was a trolley from Three Guys and Woolworths before it became like Countdown and stuff.

Oh, wow. Madness. Because I used to have my own shopping basket because I got what? Where from? Where from? Yeah, no. So I acquired it. Okay.

From just like a fruit and veg shop. Born? And it was a steel basket. That's even worse because those would be spinnies. Oh, heck. Heck, I've bought this home. Oh, well. Should use it.

And you should have seen the looks I get when I go to like the little supermarket. Yeah. When you rock in with your own steel wire basket. And you're like, oh, just load it up. Do people say baller? Are they thinking baller? Yeah, they are thinking baller. But I'm thinking, here's a guy who's...

BYO'd his basket. Because I melted the plastic handles, had writing on them. That may have incriminated me. So I melted those off. Oh, my God. Okay. And yeah, it was a real baller feeling, actually, rocking them with your own basket and being able to leave with it.

Is this what we need? Like, would we remember a basket? Like, I'm not saying steal them. I mean, like, get your own basket. Well, we get our personal basket. Like, make baskets that we buy. Maybe, maybe. Would we remember that?

Then you can literally, if you're only getting a few items, take the basket to your car. You could totally be way over basket. And then take the basket up into your house and then it's such an annoyance on the bench, you definitely take it back to your car. Because you can't put it away anywhere. Yes. Good idea. That's so smart.

Or, weave your own kitty. Yeah. If you've got some harakeke flax in the nearby vicinity. God, I don't know if I could trust my own hand. Milk will fall right through. We went to a marae once for school and they were like, we're going to weave our own bowls and later we're going to eat out of them.

And I was like, no. When you have your Coco Pops, your milk will get out. They're not waterproof. Yeah, well, traditional actually. You're not saying that correctly. I know it's not today or Maori Language Week, but it's actually Coco Pops. It is.

Because you've got to really hit those O's. Coco. Right. How are you, Megan? I'm feeling great. Good? Yeah, me too. Fletch, how are you? You alright, mate? I'm feeling great. Good? Yeah, me too. Fletch, how are you? You all right, mate? I'm good. Yeah.

Oh! I can't help... Oh, no, I can't help but notice your... The coffee you bring from home. Yep. And the little jar. I can't help but notice your Macona Classic because you won't drink the Macona at work because I've downgraded it to the budget stuff.

That's true. I can't help but notice that your Makona Classic Medium Roast 5 is empty. Great sound effect. Wasn't that so much better than I expected? Do it again. We'll never be able to do it again. Yeah. It's just as good second time. Do it again. We'll never be able to do it again. Yeah. Oh, it's just as good second time.

Do it again. One more time. God, that's great. What a great sound effect. I don't know how it would sound like if it had water in there. That's brilliant. No, don't. We don't have time for this.

Yeah, we do. It's got a little bit of water. Not quite half full. Ready, don't. We don't have time for this. Yeah, we do. It's got a little bit of water. Not quite half full. Ready? Don't spill it. Same, same, different. A little bit tighter. Hold on.

Yuck, that was yuck. I just didn't know what it has to do with the water. Let's copy it. Nah, see, I think I like it empty best. Yeah, it's better empty. Now we know. Ready? It's empty.

Yeah! It sounded a little bit moist, didn't it? Okay. So the coffee jar's empty. So it's empty. Okay, so you want to... Okay, get me started on this because I do want to raise this issue.

We've been hearing about this all morning. Backstory. I do bring my own coffee to work because you know the devilishly handsome, good-looking Jeremy Wells, he found a maggot in the work coffee machine and told me about it. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm done.

Because no one takes control of that. Like, who's cleaning it? Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't get cleaned. I think people come every now and again, but. So I bring my, and work does give us free coffee, but it's that manky crap stuff. But literally the cheapest stuff you can buy at Office Max

or wherever they order from. Yeah. So I splash out. I treat myself to a morning coffee. You know, because we get up early and you've got to have a good coffee. No one's begrudging you of that. You buy your own. My Makona Classic number five. I don't go too dark. I go in the middle. And anyway,

so I bring a jar and I leave it and I've written Fletch on it so no one else touches it. And I always leave it behind Producer Caitlin's computer screen at the end of the middle. And anyway, so I bring a jar and I leave it and I've written Fletch on it so no one else touches it and I always leave it behind producer Caitlin's computer screen at the end of the day.

Oh, now it's going to be in your hiding place. It's like a hiding place. It's going to be in your hiding place. Well, I don't think Brian and Clint

drink coffee. Do they? Well, I think they just get their own or they use the work stuff. Anyway, so they don't know about this and you guys

don't touch it because you know that I go crazy. Yeah, you know better. So I leave it there. But anyway, so it's run out and i need a refill now this is what okay so they never so you know when you go to the supermarket and the thing you buy some weeks it's on special and then the next week it's not yeah and just it averages out and you just like okay well i'll deal with it this week. That's life. So this here is a 100 gram jar of coffee.

That doesn't include the weight of the jar, right? It's the medium jar. There's a smaller jar, there's a bigger jar. Doesn't it say net weight or something? So this here, the jar, on special at the moment in my supermarket is like $9.50. Okay. On special. Yeah. But you can get the refill packets because I don't need the jar because I've got the jar here.

You've got the jar already. The jar is cheaper than the refill packet because the refill packet's not on special this week and the refill packet is like $10.50. But does the refill packet have the same amount? Yes. No, okay, so the refill packet has 90. 90 grams. Less. No, it's 10 okay so the refill packet has 90. 90 grams. Less. No, it's

10 grams less. That's 100 grams. But I don't need another jar because I'll just keep getting jars. And this is made out of glass. How hard is it to make a jar than a packet? The packet should always be cheaper than the jar, but it's not always cheaper than the jar.

This isn't just a problem with madness. This isn't just a problem with coffee And that to me is madness. This isn't just a problem with coffee either. It's not done. This is everything's refills. It's more expensive to buy the refill than it is to buy a new... Yeah. Well, like, this is made in Germany

with coffee beans from multiple origins, packed in the Netherlands, shipped to New Zealand. Oh, you could get rid of the Netherlands middleman and just pack it in Germany as a packet. Well, just don't make so many jars. We've all got a f***ing jar. The refills need to be

cheaper than the jar always. Maybe it's the supermarket's fault. Whose fault is it? Why do they do it? Because it's the same when you go to buy hand soap. When you go to buy a little soap pumper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The refill's always more expensive. Like spray and wipes. Yeah, spray and wipes. But how is it more expensive? But sometimes you're getting more. It doesn't have the squirt of thing on it. Yeah, sometimes you're getting more and then you get like twice as much.

But you have to refill your bottle. Yeah, look, I mean, I don't know. It just, it's really, it does get me started. And I don't know what we can do about it. Who can fix this? Because I've got to wait now. So you could maybe... Or I'll just have another jar.

Yeah, you could maybe like do fun things with those glass jars. Plant a succulent or something. No. I'll just chuck it in the bin and it goes to waste. Recycling. Yeah, I'll do that. Okay. I don't know.

If you're putting it in recycling, why does it wind you up so much? Next week the refills will be on special. I'll just get them then. But even when the refills are on special, they barely come close to, in my experience, the price of just buying the new jar. I know. I know, Vaughan.

And the jars are always on special more often than the refills. Yeah, I know. Just to remind you, you're getting really wound up about a dollar in a jar. No, but it's not the principle of the jar. It's the principle of it that gets me frustrated because we're wasting jars. Yeah, okay. Where does glass come from? It's not.

It's a finite resource. It's a finite resource. Yeah. Is it? I don't know. Whereas plastic bags, the refills come in like, oh, they'll never run out of there. And they last forever.

Ask a dolphin. Sure. I don't know. Somebody said Ajax Spray and Wipe. They're a real class act for the refill, costing more than getting a brand new trigger bottle, but they don't want a brand new trigger bottle. They just want the refill.

Because the trigger's fine from the previous one. I've had the same issue. That trigger's built to last. That's a good trigger. It's a good trigger. I can't fault them on their triggers. I don't need a new trigger every time. You know what we need? You know what we need? Yay!

That felt good. That sound makes sense. Oh, we could do this all day. That's a pretty great sound. One more, one more, one more. Yeah. F.E.M. This is pretty freaky.

Artificial intelligence, which is scary to look into too much. So just think of like the good aspects. It's scary when people like Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking. Yeah, they were all like careful. Yeah, they were like, oh, it's not going to end well. Open it. You can't open that box. You can't shut it again.

So apparently using artificial intelligence, they've analysed 70 human languages and language has a universal shape that a computer can translate one into the other without any prior understanding or knowledge of the language. What? Freak yeah. Like, I don't even really understand what that means.

I just read it out. But so language has a shape. But yeah, if you think about the languages that you know of, like we can't distinguish, unless you actually know them, you can't distinguish any kind of like pattern between them all. Going back a few years, we talked to the person that invented the languages for Game of Thrones. Yes, yeah, I do remember that.

And they were saying how there is like a universal shape to languages. What does that mean? The hardest language to learn is your first one, and then the second one, and then every one you do subsequently, apparently it gets easier to learn languages the more you know which sounds counterintuitive right because you seem like there's more words jostling around there it'd be harder to do yeah but once you kind of start to learn languages and unlock unlock that part of the brain you can kind of understand it so i guess that's kind of what they're doing well one of the um designer original design uh

engineer of twitter yeah called brett has teamed up with a designer of tech features and a big software developer. And now they're creating a similar database for animal communications that they have on record. We've got tons of communications of aquatic mammals like whales, dolphins, anything that's kind of interest us in the social aspects of monkeys, elephants, herd creatures. Dogs and cats. Dogs and cats. Yep. And they're creating the same database,

meaning that one day when they've acquired enough information, they should be able to interlock and artificial intelligence will finally be able to translate. What our pets are saying. Like on that episode of The Simpsons with the baby, where they can work out the baby thing, Dr. Doolittle. Yep, yep. Any vibes of communication made by noise can be mapped and thus translated. Because I always Google like, what does, because my dog always yawns

and I always thought it was because he's tired, but they yawn when they're like anxious. Oh, do they? Yeah. So if you're like squeezing him real tight,

like, I love you and he yawns, it's like he's probably not enjoying it. And they have studies as well with cats and what it means when they rub up against you. Yeah.

I love reading all that kind of stuff. And they do the little meows. Because it gives you an insight into what they're feeling because we otherwise don't really know. It might not be able to fully translate, like if you wrote your cat a love poem, for example, Fletch,

to try to finally get your cat to like you. It wouldn't translate, obviously, because not every word in the English language would have a correlation in cat talk. But you'd be able to vibe the mood of what your cat's trying to get across. Yeah, right. Or like, okay. Imagine if your cat's just doing stuff like, just means like, I'm going over here.

It could just have a little speaker on its collar. It's like, I hate your fletch. Feed me. Oh, yeah, hon. I imagine that's all it is. Feed me. Feed me. Keep away from me.

Don't pat me there. Stuff like that. That feels good. That feels good. That is. Feed me. Feed me. Keep away from me. Don't pet me there. Stuff like that. That feels good. That feels good. That is bad. Attack. Okay, question. They create artificial intelligence so you can talk to your pets.

Yeah. What is the first thing you would ask your pet? I love you. Do you love me? Because I always want to know. Do you love me? I always want to. I always say, do you think he knows he's loved?

Because it's like, and he's just like, I don't know, totters around, doesn't really seem to care much. And then I'd ask him what he prefers out of chicken, lamb or beef. So you basically ask what's for dinner? Yeah. Because I don't want to feed him something he doesn't like. I'm not sure he's a fan of chicken. So I want to be like, do you like the chicken?

That would be your first question. Do you like the chicken? That would be your first question. Do you like the chicken? After do you love me? Right, okay. Maybe my first question is be like, why did you do this to my couch? Why do you have to ruin everything in this house? You had a scratching pole, you scratched the couch. Why?

That was very expensive and now it's ruined. Maybe that's what I would say to my cat. Yeah. What would you say to your stupid... Well, you've got two cats and a dog. Yeah. I don't know what I'd say. I'd probably say, you know, none of you are my favourite.

You're all on equal footing. No, no, I was trying to be like, particularly like one of you more than the other. Right, okay. And saying that. It's not a great way to start. Who's your favourite beer? No, I don't have a favourite.

No, you do have a favourite. I honestly don't have a favourite. I honestly don't have a favourite. They all annoy me in different ways. Right. But there's not a mystery where one of them knocks something over that you could ask them about finally? Nah.

I'd ask them if they know that, like, I do everything for them. Right. Okay, right. Basically, I'd use the translator to lay a, I do everything for them. Right. Okay, right. Basically, I'd use the translator to lay a lot of thick guilt on them. Right. Been enjoying that can of food, are you? Well, I've been at work all day to pay for that.

So don't walk away from it. Don't eat it so quick you vomit it up. What's wrong with you? Do you think that they would lie or, like, have sarcasm? Oh, like you had a cat and it was as sarcastic as Joey. It's like, do you love me? And it's like, yes, of course I love you. Nah, I mean, they look sarcastic, but I don't know if animals do sarcasm. We don't know, though.

Gotta say, did it. That would be the absolute icing on the cake. Karen definitely does sarcasm. Yeah. Like, he's just knocked over all the pot plants, and then he sarcastically tells me. He's like, do you know what you've done? No, what's happened? What?

I didn't do that. There's a lie and some sarcasm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coated right in there. Well, if you could ask your animal a question, what would it be? Should we take some calls? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, this could be interesting. I'm just thinking outside of your domesticated, like your horses. Yeah. Like imagine if you were riding your horse in a horse race and you were like, go faster, and you whacked it, and it's like, yes, daddy. Of all the things. And I was like, you'd be like, I didn't think you liked this.

I thought you were whacking because you thought something was whacking you from behind and you were running faster to get away from it. Or you got on your horse one day and it's like, oh. Oh, crikey. Big Christmas, was it? You're like, ouch. So rude. Stupid.

Okay. Maybe it's best we don't know what these things think. I know. All right. Well, 0800-DARZATM-9696. If the technology enabled it, what is the first thing you would ask your pet? F-E-M. We want to know if you've just joined the show,

someone believes that mapping animal sounds will lead to us understanding the language and then artificial intelligence will then be able to translate almost in real time, one day, the thoughts of your animal into your language. We'll be able to talk to them. So we are posing the question, if this technology was there, what is the very first thing you would say to your pet? Some text messages in. Somebody said I'd ask my cat, why don't you go to the toilet in the litter box?

Okay. It's right there. That's what that's for. Melissa would ask, how are you excited day after day to eat the same food you've been eating for years? I know. That's what I think. Yes.

It's like, you know, when your work has like all the little food stores around it, you get sick of all the options. Yeah. Even though there's probably like five or six different things you can have for lunch. Yeah. Some days you're just like, no, none of them. And cats just have to eat the same thing. Maybe they're spoiled for choice.

They just know that that's food and that's it. Somebody else said, I mean, my cat was found dumped at a motorsport park at about four weeks old so I'd ask what happened to you before you came home with me? I wouldn't bring up that. No, it doesn't want the truth. Don't, yeah, exactly.

And then are animals like us, they don't have memories from their earlier days? Yeah, I don't know. Well, I mean, I guess that's something you could also ask them. So many questions. Sarah, what is the first thing you would ask your cat? Okay, so I've got two. The first one is I would tell them to use the cat door

and ask them why do they stand at the door, right to use the cat door and ask them why do they stand at the door right next to the cat door meowing, asking to be let inside. When there's a perfectly good cat door. Exactly. Like I can't even push them through it. They just won't use it. Okay. It's scally. And

the second one is I would ask my five-year-old cat where he went for two years. Two years? That's a long time to be MIA. Did he just go on an adventure somewhere? When he was three, we lost him, didn't know where he was. And then two years later, he turned up.

Is it definitely your cat? Like, has it got a stick wishing? Definitely. 100% him. He was, like, the most amazing cat you'd ever meet. Like,

my daughter used to dress him up in toilet paper, you know, wedding dresses. He would just let you do anything. He was perfect.

Right. And it's definitely him again. I don't think he was liking those toilet roll wedding dresses. Well,

he took it and he let it happen. Was he fatter or skinnier? He was very skinny. He wasn't very well. Because normally, like a neighbour will take them. Yeah, and they come in.

And feed them more. Thanks for your call, Sarah. Jules, what is the first thing you would say to your horse? Hi. Hi. Yeah, I've got four of them. And I put covers on them all year round To get the flies and get them warm

And I'm sure two of them are like Mum, can you just go away? Leave it off I'd rather be naked So your question would be like Yours would be coat or no coat? Yes, exactly Do you like to be naked?

Question mark Yeah, yeah Okay Just let me run free Yeah Well, I mean, I guess they didn't come with coats, did they? No. No, no, not at all, but

yeah, it just saves a whole lot of grooming, keeps them warm, and yeah, then you protect them from the sun, because I've got a white one. But, ah, yeah, yeah. It'd be so much fun to ask Leo every day, which jacket do you want to wear? He'd probably say none of them. Isn't it embarrassing enough that I look like this

already? You're so punishing, Mum. Natalie, what is the first thing you would ask your pet? Where's my diamond ring? Oh. What is it, a cat, a dog? It was my dog. He's a big black lab and I

don't know whether it was him or not, but my ring mysteriously disappeared from a bench, and we have not been able to find it since. Yeah. And, I mean, the insurance company must have thought I was having them on because, you know, you'd think you'd have a handle on where these things were, but it left it on the bench the next morning gone. Yeah.

And, yeah, that's the only thing I think of. But, yeah, I did actually check, check to see for a week. You checked his clothes? It had gone through. But it could still be in there. Have you done an x-ray? No, true. You've got to do an x-ray.

They're so blimmin' expensive. That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I mean, I love them. Don't get me wrong. I think they do a good job, but it's really expensive. Well, maybe, maybe if you ever have to take him in just while he's there

because how would it be worth quite a bit of money um yeah it was yeah i mean not i mean i'm not really wearing a housewife but um yeah it's nice it's sentimental it's nice yeah exactly okay all right natalie thanks for your call. Some text messages. Somebody said, the first thing I'd ask my dog after all the lovely things I do for you, why once a week do you climb on the bed and wee on the pillow? Okay. We came home to our puppy having a broken leg.

I came home from work, still don't know how they did it. So the first question would be, how the heck did you break your leg that time? Jumping off something. Yeah. Well, judging by the AI technology and the research that's happening, this may be a possibility. This could be happening. In the near future.

And that's scary. Fact of the Day. This is in the Trailblazer series that we're doing this week. All Fact of the Days this week are about amazing New Zealand woman, 125 years since the suffragette movement, and we were like, what is suffrage? Why is it called suffrage? I thought it was like suffering.

That's suffering. They're trying to stop the suffering by being able to vote. It's just an old word for being able to vote. Suffrage. Specifically, yeah, to be able to vote. Yeah, so it's not. And they were jets because they were women. Yes, suffrajets.

Yes. Chuck an et on the et. Suffragets. Well, there's a Trailblazer series at nzherald.co.nz. 125 amazing New Zealand women. And Nancy Wake is who I want to talk about today. Okay. Nancy Wake is, I've read a book about her life.

White Mouse is what the book's called. And that was her nickname. I'll get to that in a minute. But it is the craziest book. She's a New Zealander. She was born in New Zealand in 1911. And today's fact of the day, the lead fact, I'm going to tell you

a lot about Nancy. The lead fact was she was the Allies' most decorated servicewoman of World War II. I have heard about this woman. Nancy Wake, she's amazing. And today's fact about the most decorated servicewoman of World War II, she

once had a 5 million franc bounty on her head by the Nazis, the Gestapo. She was the most wanted person by the Gestapo in 1942. 5 million francs equates to 6 million New Zealand dollars in current currency. So in

the day, during World War II, that would have been unbelievable money. Yeah, and because 5 million francs, there was hyperinfl So in the day, during World War II, that would have been unbelievable money. Yeah, because 5 million francs, there was hyperinflation and the war and everything. So it was a crazy amount of money put on her head. But they couldn't catch her. They called her a white mouse because she was so hard to catch. Secretly, do you reckon she loved that? She'd be like, look how much they want for me.

Oh, yeah. Wouldn't it be, though? Yeah. Wouldn't it be? So she, I can recommend reading this book. It's an amazing book about her life. A couple of other little facts about her. So she escaped capture.

She had the 5 million francs on her head, but that wasn't enough to keep her away. She was like, I'm going back in. She parachuted into France in 1944 to assist the French resistance and help them recruit 7,000 people who were terrified. You know, these were people who were living with Nazis in the country. She got 7,000 people recruited.

Yeah. One day, she had to communicate regularly with London with her little wireless radio. It was broken. It wouldn't work. She cycled 400 kilometres in three days through Nazi-occupied territory to deliver the message. And any time she got stopped,

she's like, little old me, I wouldn't hurt a fly. Through she went. After World War II, she got into politics. She almost got quite a high-ranking spot in Australia.

Yeah. After she ended politics, she moved back to England and she lived in a hotel. This is really interesting. She lived in a hotel. This is really interesting. She lived in a hotel for two years and never paid for a day. The bill was paid by anonymous people,

one of whom is believed to have brought in a young Prince Charles. What? Assisted her hotel living. Because she was a hero? Yeah, I guess so. Wow, I need to read this book. It's an amazing story about

her life, White Mouse. There was a TV movie made for it as well. Okay. I think, is it Chill on Shortland Street? Play-Doh? Okay. And the movie was really good, but the book's absolutely amazing. So today's fact of the day in the Trailblazer series

for this week, in this week's fact of the day, Nancy Wake, New Zealander, was the Allies' most decorated servicewoman and at one stage had a $6 million in currency bounty on her head. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Some workplaces make you do personality tests to get the job or maybe once you've got a job. I remember doing one years ago to see how we all function together in a workplace. Like to understand different personalities was to know how

to work together better. So you do like the Myers-Briggs one was quite a popular test. That's when you end up with four letters A and that represents your personality. Like INTJ for introversion, intuition, thinking, judgment.

What does that even mean? Or there's one like extrovert, sensing, feeling, perceiving. Right. So it sounds like a whole lot of mumbo jumbo. Sounds like someone wants a job. And apparently the social psychology community is pretty online with that being like anti-Myers-Briggs types. Right. And they have come up with four new personality types.

This is a report published in the Journal of Nature Human Behaviour from Illinois. So there's four new personality types. They're much more straightforward. So that's only four because the Myers-Briggs, there were 16. Yeah. These are quite funny. People are quite complex, aren't they? So wouldn't you need like 16 different?

Well, I guess they're saying are we? You know, are we that complex? Shermans, you meet one, you meet the other. Okay. I'm going to read out four. Can you put Vaughan and I into these? I think where I put you and where you put you will be different. Oh, but that's always the case.

It was even on those Myers-Briggs things. People were like, oh oh yes, you know me, I'm just a INFP. It's like, no you're not, Jill. You're an ST something V. You and me, Fletch, are very much as Slytherins, very much in one of these

categories, and I'm okay to admit it. No, but I thought I was a hooplepuff. No, you're a Slytherin. Please, you don't belong with us hufflepuffs. We're a noble, a noble house. You can't even say that. You know I haven't even seen

the episode of Harry Pooter, whatever it's called. Hoopy Pooter. Hoopy Pooter. Okay, so you want to know the four types? Yep. So the four personality types,

the new basic personality types are reserved. That's me. Wait, you're going to say. Is there one called showboater? No, it's Vaughn. This is, Vaughn's going to be like, oh, this is me. Role models.

Yeah, well, that's me. Average. That's you guys. And self-centered. That's us. That's you. That's Splitch and I. I'm the first two, you're the second two.

No, you're not the two. I'm looking after number one. You're not reserved. Megan, I'm holding back right now. Give me strength. I've got a Hugh Jackman bloody song and dance number running around in my head and I could be doing that, but I'm just You're reserved. You're not a role model.

That seems, well, okay, can you explain what a role model personality type is? No, I can't really explain them to you. I think they're self-explanatory. Yeah, that would be that people look up to you, right, and you lead by example. Yeah, you're a leader. Yeah.

People are like. Reserved, I guess, is just kind of average, but you hold back socially a bit more. Right, okay. I imagine. Average is going to be most of us. Well, by the rule of averages. You don't lead.

You don't put yourself out there too much, but you're not reserved. Yeah. You get that done. And then self-centred, I guess you're just out there for number one. But if you don't look out for number one, who will? Exactly. Yeah. And that's being a role model, looking after number one.

Isn't it? Yeah, that's right. That's what role models are. And it's okay to be an a role model, looking after number one. Isn't it? Yeah, that's right. That's what role models are. And it's okay to be an average role model. But you're not self-centered because you're in a family, so Fletch and I don't, we don't know what it's like to care about other people too much. But you're not a role model.

This is their second marriage. I just can't quite figure out how to care for other people. You're not reserved, and I wouldn't say you're a role model. Does that mean you're just average? I think you're just average. Yeah, you're average. I would rather be self-centered than average. Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you're average.

Um, eh. See? Meh. That's an average person. Yeah, that's an average person. They'd roll over and they'd take it. Meh. Um, yeah. Okay, I'll take it.

Can't be bothered arguing. Maybe that could be his reserved nature. He's not fighting us. Yeah, I'm actually proving to be more reserved. Or a role model because he doesn't care what other people think. I'm a leader. No, you're not. No, I think you're average, to be honest.

Yeah. Well, one of us has to be. That's the rule, isn't it? Yeah, it is, yeah. FEM. ZM. Well, now I want to talk about a new flavour, potentially of Coca-Cola.

So, with the growth of places around the world that are legalising or decriminalising cannabis, apparently Coca-Cola, there's reports that they have held talks with Canada's Aurora Cannabis, which must be a company that does that. Medicinal marijuana. To develop beverages.

Would that be disgusting? No, because it wouldn't taste like smoke. But would it make you high? Cannabis-infused drinks. Yeah. I think there's some already on the market. It might not even be because Coca-Cola is such a huge company. It might not even be like Coke, like cannabis Coke.

They might be buying. It might be like a different beverage altogether. Yeah, yeah, they might be developing a beverage line. So is that a health thing or is it a getting high thing? I would say they'd probably market is that a health thing or is it a getting high thing? I would say they'd probably market it as a health thing. Better both. Right. Hey, have you got sore eyes?

Wink, wink, wink. Sore eyes? Well, that's what people always say. They've got glaucoma. Isn't it glaucoma? Is it? Glaucoma. It's spelled glaucoma. Glaucoma. It's spelled glaucoma. Glaucoma. Okay.

But have a sip of this sort of thing. But then you, like America's the one place you can't claim health benefits of things. You've got to have at the end of the ad being like, see a doctor. Yeah. But did you know that cannabis is going to legalise, I mean Canada, is going to legalise Canada? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Have they been living in a state of perpetual illegalness?

Canada is going to legalise cannabis on the 17th of October. Is that the whole country? Oh no, that's not good. That's just in time for Halloween. Why is that a bad thing? You'll get high and you'll see a costume

and you'll freak out. All these first timers coming out of the woodwork. Well, it's legal now so I don't know how much to smoke. All of this? Perfect. Yeah, I mean, now, so I don't know how much to smoke. All of this? Perfect.

Yeah, be careful with the brownies you're eating. Yeah. Stephen, there's ghosts at the door! Help! ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. We've been doing it for the weekend. ZDM.