ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 19 2019

Episode Date: September 18, 2019

Community Notices, Am I A Bad Person and Vaughan has become at "Sideline Dad".See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Three minutes past six. Ever the professional, Anya. Even when Fletch is throwing Friday jams wristbands at Vaughan. Tap of the moon and two. What?

I said tap of the moon and two. Tap of the moon. Tap of the moon. Tap of the moon in two years. There's horrible news about this because I've just signed a slim tea agreement on Instagram.

Oh, no. I was going to blog my liposuction. The whole thing. I was going to live it, actually, and take questions during. Hi, guys.

Just a bit bored lying on a surgery table. Ask me anything. That looks hot. Is there one? What did that chick get on the Boss Babes? A Brazilian butler. So you kind of, they liposuction from one ear to the other. Oh, that looked horrible.

Like, that looked rigorous. To be honest, her recovery and watching her go through that surely would put anyone off. Yeah. Because you don't see people going through the hell of recovering from it. Yeah. She was like leaking out people going through the hell of recovering from it. Yeah. She was like leaking out her butt.

Like absolutely not. Yeah, no. They don't put that on Instagram, do they? No. What, leaking out your butt? What are the new rules? You're not going to be able to...

So any post that is deemed to be promoting a diet product or cosmetic surgery is going to be hidden if you are under 18. That's good. Awesome. That's good. It's for the best. But then what's the difference or cosmetic surgery is going to be hidden if you are under 18. That's good. Awesome. That's good.

It's for the best. But then what's the difference between cosmetic surgery and a filter? One's permanent. One's invasive and permanent and costs a lot of money. If you get dog ears in surgery, you can't get rid of them. You're stuck with dog ears.

True. And a little snout. A little schmuffy. Oi, I would like a surgery, please. What one do you. A little schmuffy. Oi, I would like a surgery, please. What one do you want? A schmuffy. I want a schmuffy and a ears, please. I want to look like a doggy.

That'd be good fun. Ah! Jeez. Okay. Can you stop throwing those, please? You started that, Fletch. Alright, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Well, as per usual, I have three news headlines.

Interesting, quirky, odd, oft funny news stories. Oft. Oft funny. Not always. Well, not always. Oft enjoyable. And, Vordermeghan, you pick one of the following three. Headline one, a doctor.

Nah. Sorry. What's with your attitude this morning? I don't know. That just happened. That was a real attitude. I love after, straight after you're like, sorry, I followed it. I put myself on the naughty step.

I couldn't control myself. Headline one, a doctor, firefighter and church man walk into a police sting. Headline two, world record goes up in smoke. So headline one, a doctor, firefighter and church man walk into a police sting. Headline two, world record goes up in smoke. And headline three, I'm not a monster, says mum. Is story three humorous or not really? Not really. A little bit funny.

Oh, what was two? Well, I found it a little bit funny. I want that one. I'm not a monster, says mum. Yeah, I'm not a monster says mum. Alright, we go now to Toronto where dramatic video showed a toddler

had crawled out a window and onto the air conditioning unit on the 13th floor of a high-rise building. How does it crawl onto an air conditioning unit?

Well, so apparently there was a plastic cover. So I don't know if the window was open and on the side they have a plastic cover that closes the gap of the window and it pulled that open and crawled out. So the three-year-old child was seen on video resting on top of the air conditioning,

just jutting out of the window. So these are those air conditioning units that are built into the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The classic New York style. Seinfeld. Yeah, Seinfeld. I call them Seinfeld air conditioning units.

Big overseas, whereas we've got those massive ones that go on your roof or on the deck. Those kind of things. But in an apartment, you can't have one of those. So you have the little window ones. So the three-year-old was seen climbing on this. People gathering on the street below started filming and yelling. One woman ran up to the apartment, banged on the door.

I think in the end just let herself in and said, you've got to get your kid off the air conditioning unit. Oh, my gosh. The kid's sister grabbed the kid and pulled him in. So what was mum doing? Apparently was in the next room and had just turned her back on this kid for like a minute. Well, it's what you do when you leave the window open on the 13th floor.

How old was this kid? Three. Three. And up out the window. Up out the window, yeah. To be fair, there was a covering that you write and the kid had pulled it away. So, I mean, you wouldn't expect the kid to do that. No.

So the child's mother wishes not to be identified. She told the news she'd been cooking dinner and periodically checking on her toddler and his older brother who were watching TV in the living room. So the older brother didn't care. No, that's on the older brother. Like, what was he up to? Just like...

I'm pretty watching TV. How much older as well? Doesn't say. Yeah, so he might have only been like four or five. And I mean, if you take yourself back to when you had a brother. I would have probably told him. And you were a toddler. You probably would have told him to go out there and play with the AC. So she said she wants people to know I'm a good mother and not a monster.

She did explain that there were window guards, but they'd been removed to install the AC unit. And the guards have since been put back in place. So whether or not the guard was properly on or I don't know. Ere ne'er. Yes. Well she's learnt of. So child services are also investigating too. Right. Lord. They would.

I'd imagine they'd be quite interested in that. Yeah. Hmm. Alright 12 past 6. The top 6 is before 7 this morning and it is dealing with the high-pressure weather system we're about to enjoy as a country. This is the, it's being called the, what, the biggest,

it's the highest pressure system in the world at the moment. It's 1,046 hectopascals. What does that mean? Lots of lollies. All the pascals. Yes, lots of pascals. All the pascals. And it means Dad will be tapping the barometer in the lounge today.

I'm like, oh shit, this thing's moving. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, it's official. It's official. It was the worst kept secret, wasn't it? Yes, it was pretty, it was all but confirmed officially, but yesterday it got confirmed officially that the Lord of the Rings TV show that's been made for Amazon

is going to be filmed here in New Zealand. Just down the road from my house, actually. Where they filmed, you'll be able to see, they filmed The Meg there. You know that shark movie? You know that shark on with Jason Statham? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's in a big water tank, apparently.

Oh, yeah. They filmed Mulan there. Right. I think it's the old Power Rangers spot. Maybe old Power Rangers is always like the... Oh no, that might have been Henniston Valley actually. Thriving West Auckland film industry. Yeah.

They'll call us Westy Wood. Westy Wood. They might. That doesn't have a good ring to it, does it? Do you reckon it's got a bit of a feel to it, doesn't it? It's got a bit of a feel with it. So what we know about this Lord of the Rings show is it's set some 3,400 years before the movies

that we're familiar with. Okay. And it's going to be following the whole story of that ring, I think, like the wars and everything. Right. All the things you kind of saw maybe flashbacks to during the movies. Okay.

Or the creation of The Ring. And it's going to be filmed, yeah, in Auckland for Amazon. It's going to be $1.3 billion series is what it's being called. Oof. Yeah. So... How do we get some of that cash? Yeah.

How do we get in on that? Well, you live nearby. What can you do? You've got to be an extra You've got to apply to be an extra Yeah because it's not all hobbits So they don't need short people Yeah right

And you've got a beard Yeah that's true So you look a bit unkempt Yes Like they did back then Like a I could wield a sword Yes

Yeah probably just a plastic one Or like a light balsa wood But like painted so it looks steely Because I don't want to hurt myself Yeah right Yeah but it is coming But apparently Wellington was considered one or like a light bolster wood but like paint it so it looks steely because I don't want to hurt myself. Yeah, right. Yeah, but it is coming. But apparently Wellington was considered

but James Cameron's doing a lot of Avatar filming down there. So they were like, well, we'll just go and use up here then. Because everyone's using all the tripods.

It was like bagsies, bagsies all the time. Also, apparently because it's costing this much, they reckon that they could get out like one of those

tax refunds. One of those grants. One of those grants, like $300 million. Wow. But see, I reckon it's worth it. Everyone whinged when Lord of the Rings and Hobbit got that, but I kind of think it's worth it. It sounds like a lot of money.

I think we've paid that back now. We've paid that back with all the tourists that want to come and see Hobbiton and come and see our lovely country. So I'm kind of for that. It is a lot of money. They have to film it here because like Lord of the Rings is like, that's us. You can't suddenly start filming that somewhere else.

We're Middle Earth. That's probably how the British felt when we started filming the original ones here because it was written by a Brit set in like British landscapes. But then they were like, how much? Nah, we'll just go to New Zealand, bro. We'll just do it down there. Cheapies. Cheapies. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. TripAdvisor have released their transparency report. What is that? I don't know. I didn't know they had to be transparent. I think they're probably getting on the front foot because, and I mean, we've all used TripAdvisor. When I travel overseas, always use it. If I need a place for breakfast on the front foot because, and I mean, we've all used TripAdvisor. When I travel overseas, always use it.

If I need a place for breakfast, I'll be like, what's nearby? Things to do, you know, free things, day trips, everything. And also accommodation. It's really good at telling you if the place you're about to go in has been bed bugged or, you know, the scene of a murder. Always good to know these things. In the past year, they have punished close to 35,000 businesses for exploiting fake reviews.

This is in 2018. It's their report that has revealed that about 1 in 50 reviews submitted are fictitious. Whoa. Wow. So TripAdvisor, and the stats are incredible, 490 million people per month use TripAdvisor, and the stats are incredible, 490 million people per month use TripAdvisor. That seems about right.

So 1.4 million fake reviews, that's 2.1% of 66 million reviews submitted last year. What quantifies a fake review? Well, so I didn't know this, but apparently and people have been, one person in Italy was charged and went to prison. People sell fake or bad reviews online, like on sites like eBay

or Facebook, Marketplace. So if you wanted to tarnish the cafe that it opened just down the road, you'd buy five bad reviews. Yeah, and you're buying someone who has a legitimate profile is just trying to make some money. Isn't that insane? Oh, my God. That's crazy.

Yeah. How much do they charge for this? Could you imagine if all of a sudden your cafe, because you've got, what, Google reviews? You've got a good Google review. All of a sudden you're getting all these negative reviews out of nowhere. Yeah. It could be like a new cafe down the road

or someone against you. Or teach her. Yeah. That's so crazy. Isn't that insane? So I think the idea of this report was to say, we are trying to deal with

all the shenanigans that are going on. There's, hello, TripAdvisor here. Shenanigans are happening. That's good though, TripAdvisor here, shenanigans are happening. That's good though, that they're like cracking down on it. But I always like, when I use TripAdvisor or any,

I never take the really, I always try to take the average. And the people that are always moaning with one star, are the people that paid $60 for a hotel room and then wonder why there's a ciggy stain on the door. Yeah, those people, there's no pleasing them. There's no pleasing's a ciggy stain on the door. Yeah, those people, there's no pleasing them.

There's no pleasing them. There's absolutely no pleasing them. Yeah. So you kind of always try to take a middle, well I do, take a middle ground and then,

you know, you can't be disappointed. Manage your expectations. But people, how will they tell if people are like, I don't want to sound like I'm incriminating myself

because I've never done this, but like, if you just got you and your mates to write like awesome reviews for your own thing, those are essentially fake reviews, but how are you going to actually... Well, I think that you probably would get away with that, but for example, the person that got jailed in Italy was jailed for nine months. He tried to sell more than 1,000 fictitious reviews.

So if you're writing... I think if they can see you're one person in one city. Yeah. Writing all these reviews, you're probably not either eating at restaurants that much or you're probably full of it, I guess. I don't know. They haven't really said how. They probably don't want to say how because then you can get around it, right? Interesting. Also in Australia, an apartment chain was fined $3 million for tampering with guest email addresses to avoid negative reviews.

I don't know how they did that. So they were tampering with reviews? Yeah. With their emails? I guess maybe if they thought someone was going to complain, then would they delete their email so TripAdvisor couldn't email them? I don't know. I don't know how that would work. Crazy.

But there you go. So if you are planning holidays and using any, I guess, any review site, you kind of got to balance it up. Balance it up. Make some calls. Exactly. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Sam Smith on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Sam Smith on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. It's 18 to 7. Interesting we should be

talking about this after that Sam Smith song. They opted to be identified by they in the non-binary term. Yep. This week that was the news. And we are now going to talk about words added to the Miriamam-Webster dictionary.

And the non-binary pronoun of they has been added to the dictionary. They and them? So they would have already been in the dictionary, but they've just added another italic-y italics. What are they? I thought you were saying some real flash word, but you were just trying to... Italic-y. When something is in italics. Yeah, yeah.

Another definition of they. They use it here as an example. I knew certain things about so-and-so, the person I was interviewing. They had adopted their gender-neutral name a few years ago when they began to conscientiously identify as non-binary, as neither male nor female. They were in their late 20s working as an event planner applying to graduate school.

So instead of you saying he was in his late 20s, she was in her late 20s, you would say they. Yeah. Right. So that's in the Merriam-Webster dictionary now. What else have they added? Is dab in there? I think dab, I don't know.

Dad joke is. That was a couple of years ago, wasn't know. Dad joke is. That was a couple of years ago wasn't it? Dad joke is Really? As officially a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be

endearingly corny or unfunny. And promotes this noise. Mmm. Dad joke was the first known use of dad joke was in 1987. When someone coined the term. Yeah. Right. That's the first use of it they can find.

Deep state. They've added deep state. Oh, yeah. An alleged secret network of especially non-elected government officials and sometimes private entities operating extra-legally to influence and enact government policy. Which is happening with a lot of elections, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Apparently. First known use of that word, the year 2000. Do you know what I'm hearing a lot lately? We're going to do a deep dive. We're going to deep dive into this subject. Like a... Heaps of it.

Yeah, heaps. Shows are using it. Yeah, right. Deep dive. Journos. We're going to deep dive into this subject. Like a... Heaps of it. Yeah, heaps. Shows are using it. Yeah, deep dive. Journos, we're going to deep dive into this. Lame. I'm not saying it's great. I'm just saying everyone's saying it at the moment. Escape room, they've added.

A game in which participants can find to a room or other enclosed setting and given a set amount of time to find a way to escape. God, do you remember when we had to do that? Forced fun for work? 2012. I love escape rooms.

I really like escape rooms. I did one with my parents when they came up recently, and when we left, Dad was like, I bloody loved that. Can we have to come up to do it again? Dads all consider themselves quite the detectives, don't they? Well, you were getting into it, Vaughn. I love it. I get frustrated when I don't get a clue,

so I sulk and sit in the middle. Just wander around playing with things. Really, I can't remember who it was when we did it with work that was in my team and they were useless. They just kept running around, like panicking. Are you sure that wasn't Fletch? No, no, it wasn't Fletch because I wasn't on his team. No, but we've done a couple now, eh?

We've done a couple. I dig them. I really like them. I know you do. I reckon they need to up the stakes. Like, if you don't get out, the room fills with water. It'll make people really into it, won't it? Sure.

And imagine if the final clue couldn't be, like, revealed until, like, it's so full. You are floating. It's up on the ceiling. Yes. Yes. I don't know how their TripAdvisor reviews will be for that business, but. Another word, ad, colorism. This is prejudice or discrimination, especially within a racial or ethnic group,

favoring people with lighter skin over those with darker skin. So of the same race, but even within the race, colorism. 1964, that was first used. That's interesting. Why are we just, because they've become popular in the last year or two, these phrases and words that have been added to the dictionary. That's interesting. Why are we just, because they've become popular in the last year or two, these phrases and words, that have been added to the dictionary. Yes.

Okay. The Bestial Test I've heard of. This is a set of criteria used as a test to evaluate a work of fiction on the basis of its inclusion or representation of female characters. Right. The usual criteria of the Bestial Test

are that there are at least two women featured and that these women talk to each other and that they discuss something other than a man. Right. Because otherwise, and they've done this test on a whole lot of movies and, like, books, and there's female characters in it, but they never talk to each other. And if they do talk to each other, they talk about a man. So they're saying female characters are capable of more than just talking to each other about a man. They could talk to each other about anything.

Also, permission granted. From a straight white guy, permission granted, woman. We could talk about more than just you. Oh, wonderful. Autogenic training is a self-relaxation technique that involves silently repeating one or more statements intended to produce a relaxed feeling of body warmth and heaviness to foster a state of physical and emotional calmness. Like personal affirmations while you're lying on a yoga mat. Yeah.

Yeah. You're enough. You're enough. You're enough. Talk to a woman about something other than a man. Talk to a woman about something other than a man. 1954, that was first used.

Pain point, which is just, it's weird that that hasn't been in the dictionary before. It's exactly what it sounds like. The point of pain. The point of pain.

And I don't know how to say this word. Give it a burn. Rotic. Rotic, like erotic, but without a... No, it's like rhetoric,

but with a whole lot of things missing. Okay. Oh, hold on, it tells me how to, it's like rhetoric. Yep. But with a whole lot of things missing. Okay. Oh, hold on. It tells me how to say it here. Rotic. Rotic. Will it?

I guess we'll never know. I can't hear it. You can't hear it? I'll unplug my ear. Rodic. Rodic. Rodic. Oh, that was interesting.

Relating to or having Being an accent Or dialect In English Right In which the R sound Is retained before consonants So it's just pronouncing Hard and cart Right

You done? Yep From the ZM Think Tank This is the Top 6 Hello The Top 6 Today deals with this high pressure system

that is going to be rolling in. It is the world's strongest high pressure system at present. This was news to me, Vaughan. Yeah.

It's the air pressure could go as high as 140 hectopascals. I was incorrect before I said 146. If it did, that would be a New Zealand record.

Oh, so it's close. That's what happened in Wellington in 1889. So I'm looking at the weather app. Is this only for the next couple of days in the weekend? Yes. And then it's going to rain? Yeah. Oh, great.

I was expecting it to stay for like two weeks. Guess it drops off again. Oh, ungrateful. It's going to be warm though. It's still only September. Yeah, it's going to be warm though. Like still only September Yeah it's going to be warm though Like lying on the beach warm? Well 16 degrees so high That's what today's top 6 deals with

It is the fact this is the world's strongest High pressure system It's going to feel like summer And this is the top 6 things this high pressure weather system means Number 6 Time to get those white winter legs out baby And let the sunshine hit them. But have a blanket close by because when the clouds come over,

you'll be like, oh, my God. Yes. Number five on the list of the top six things this high-pressure weather system means, beach swim. Well, it will feel like it is as you sprint towards the ocean, but you'll come to a grinding halt as you feel how cold the water is when you hit it with your tootsies. Yeah.

If you get up to genital level, you deserve some sort of medal. And then once you get past the genitals, once you get past the genitals, the next area is the nips. If you can get the nips under, and then it's head under. Those are your three, four

actually, four super hot spots. Toes, genitals, nips, head. First one. Number four on the list of the top six things this high-pressure weather system means. It's time to dust off your outdoor summer furniture. Get out that sun umbrella. Open up that bad boiler.

The cockroaches that have been nesting in there over winter fall onto you and you freak out. And then put it up, but don't sit under it because I don't think the atmosphere is going to be as hot as you like. You might need to still be in the sun. Otherwise, you'll need that blanket we talked about just before. Number three on the list of the top six things this high-pressure weather system means. Gosh, it's time to get out there and have a lovely walk in the bush.

Get out there, enjoy. Enjoy this environment we've got in the beautiful New Zealand summer. Oh, my God, it is still so cold under a bushy cover. And that wind is whistling up that valley and it's literally cutting me in half. Let's not do this just yet. Number two on the list of the top six things this high pressure

weather system means, ice creams. Yes. No catch here. Just ice cream. It can be like two degrees outside and I'd still be able to do an ice cream. Yeah. And my mum's of that generation where she's like, it's too cold for an ice cream. And you're like, shut up, baby boomers.

And you notice the average obesity rate in our generation is higher than yours. Yeah, take it from the ice cream eaters. It's not too cold for ice cream. And number one on the list of the top six things this high-pressure weather system means, the barbecue. Oh, my God. Light that charcoal. Ignite that gas.

It's barbecue time, baby. But have the oven on inside just in case because it could easily all go really badly and you have to finish it off inside. Yeah. Like every true barbecue has. How much gas is left in that gas bottle? I don't know. When did you last fill it?

Yeah, last summer? Okay. We'll take our chances. Click, click, click, click. All right, you turn the oven on. Just turn the oven on. We'll finish it off inside. That is today's top six.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So a Kiwi mum has an ish with the warehouse and Kmart. She has taken such exception to this, she's put a petition at change.org. Now, after a recent visit with her son to, I actually don't know if it was Kmart,

oh, it was Kmart, yeah. Right. She's calling out both. But her son is nine years old and they were looking for clothes for him. Okay. Now, she says that when they were looking through the clothes at Kmart, he said, it's like they don't want us to be happy.

Referring to the colour choices for guys, for boys. So she says for boys aged between eight and 16, it's becoming increasingly hard to purchase clothing featuring any colours other than dark and dreary shades. So the girls are like lots of color. Right. And you go to the boys. But why is she called out just those two retailers?

There'd be heaps of places that would sell boys clothes, right? That's just where she's seen it. Where she shops. Where she's experienced it. But the thing is there. They shop somewhere else. Isn't that the idea of like like, shops and options and... But if she's saying that they're both like that,

is that what everyone's like? But she's... In defence of those places, they're kind of selling what people are... Selling what people are buying. Yeah. That's how business works as well, right? So that needs to be, like...

They obviously have had, at some stage, bright colours and they didn't sell super well to that age group. So they're like, well, these didn't sell, so we won't do that again. At the current fashion choice levels. I get why all the colours are like, you know, blacks and blues and darker colours. They're very slimming.

And they match with everything. I just, I can't see the problem here. But also like, why can't you buy a pink shirt from the girl's section? Might need to be like a bigger size or something. I don't know, but there's... Yeah, but they're normally different cuts, aren't they? And kids' t-shirts always say things on them. Like...

Daddy's little princess. Yeah, can we change that? Well, that's my, like, I, it's weird for, I don't have sons, but weird, I've had friends that have had sons that you can't find T-shirts with slogans on it that aren't, like, in some way bad. No, no, no, like, Daddy's Little Princess is like, it's still a positive, right?

But, like, boys things are like, watch out, here comes trouble. Or, you know? Yeah. Like, it's never, hey, I'm a good guy. I'm a good kid. Hey, you know what? I'm not a bad kid. Let's just stop putting like funny slogans on them.

You know, it's just a bit tacky. No, because obviously people are buying them, right? Otherwise, it'd be the same as the pink t-shirts for boys. If they didn't sell, they wouldn't get them. So obviously, but yeah, just some options. But then I don't think It's really fair to just Call out those two retailers

No And I'm sure if you look There's heaps of places That sell kids clothes Yeah Cotton on kids I get dragged in there Every blood

They've got some Great basics Do they have bright colours In the boys section Well again I don't really ever look In the boys section Yeah true

But there's been times Where the girls want something from the boys' section and I'm just like, well, just buy it. Yeah. Like, who cares? Yeah, that's the thing. I, like, explore the girls' section. You just get the right size and the colour they want and, yeah, you're just like, oh, just buy it.

That's fine. But isn't it, don't they more go off what's in season and what's kind of in fash? And misery. Misery is so hot right now. Misery and darkness is in right now. Sadness is such a big mood. Because don't we go through fluoro stages

and bright colour stages? And that's kind of in fashion. Hey, Matt, I remember the early 90s as well. That was inescapable. Your hyper colours and your ecstasy clothing. Like fluoro's just always in. Like, just putting a bit of colour into their lives. No, mate, you want something that's easy to clean and hide the stains.

That's true. Do you think kids should be dressed in clothes that look like a bus seat? Just brown, multi-colour. Yeah, lots of black. Yeah. Some darker greys. Is that something when you sit in those bus seats? You don't know if you're sitting on a half-squished-up Mars bar

because it's camouflage. Yeah, baby. That's why carpet in public places is so designed. Yeah. Hide them stains. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening

around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop up first. There's been a theft. A theft. This is on the Maungatūroto official public group Lorraine has posted. This is a bit unbelievable. During the night last night, someone stole our water tank. How big was that? It was 1,500 gallons. Sizable. That's huge.

Sizable. Thousands and thousands of litres. Yeah. From the Brindoon end of State Highway 12, leaving us with no water. If anybody was out and about during the night and saw this, please contact the local police station. They must have been here for a while, as they would have had to have drained it, and they just cut the pipes, leaving water pouring onto the farm below.

Please share and help us get the culprits. Someone stole a water tank. They drained it. I remember Kerry McIver who works upstairs on Newstalk ZB. Yeah. She had a house up north and she said

she got there one day and a 25,000 litre water tank had been stolen. Oh my God. You've kind of got to admire the sheer audacity

of it all. I'm not at all condoning it. So you drain it but then 25,000 litres and it's one of those plastic ones, that's going to be a heavy lift

to get it on a trailer. They're huge. You see them transported on trucks. My parents got one that to get it craned over the back of the house. Yeah, they're huge. Because it's heavy.

So big. They're huge. You see them on the truck, they've got to be on their side and like strapped down with a million bajillion straps. So cheeky. Crazy.

But anyway, one's missing. So if you see one, up those ways. This comes to us from the Methvin local page. Chicken alert. Two chickens have been vandalising the pavement opposite the library. Given the events a couple of weeks ago regarding birds in this area, I'd hate to see the same thing happen. Where are the owners of these chickens?

Now, I don't know what event that they are speaking about. Maybe if you're in Methvin and you can let us know. It sounds to me like some birds in public maybe got gunned down. Oh, my God. A drive-by. Yeah. A chicken drive-by. There were some birds that met a grizzly end.

Goodness. Rosie leaps to the chicken's defence, saying those chickens aren't vandalising, they're weeding. Chickens are very handy at weeding garden and turning soil. They can come to my place. I've got plenty of gardening that needs doing. Rosie does. Don't mums always have a lot of gardening that needs doing?

They do, yeah. Or if they arrive somewhere and someone's just tidied the house, they're like, you can pop over to mine anytime you like. Good stuff. Next for community notices, we're going to pop to the Waddle Downs grapevine. Oh, okay.

This is a thriving community page servicing the area of Waddle Downs. Karina's taken a photo. She's uploaded this to the group. It's of a Lime scooter. And she said this scooter's been outside the wild area path on Tingentong. Tingentong Avenue. That's a funny street name, isn't it?

Tingentong. Tingentong. Are you looking it up to see if it exists? Yeah. T-I-N-G-I-N-T-O-N. Ting-a-tong. Ting-a-tong. Ting-a-tong.

Ting-a-tong. Avenue, yeah. This is fun just listening to you try and figure it out. Ting-a-tong and waddle downs. Sounds like a made-up place, doesn't it? It does, doesn't it? It's been there for a few hours. Does this scooter belong to anybody or has it been stolen?

And that was really cute because then people had to explain to her what lime scooters were and how they worked. But that's pretty cute that she hadn't heard about it. Let's go to Oxford now. The Oxford New Zealand community page. Lee reports one ostrich seen running down MacGyro's Road if anyone's

looking for their lost ostrich. Oh my god. Maybe it was trying to find Ting Tong Avenue. Ting Tong Avenue in Waddle Downs. Remember when everyone was investing in ostriches and emus because they were going to be the meat of the future? Maybe it's a leftover one of those. It could very well be a leftover one of those.

And finally, from the Manawatu Buy and Sell Everything Pets Included page, Brenda writes, Can anyone tell me if it's okay to give my dog some Panadol until I can take him to the vet? No. He has a very sore back, poor. I've been bathing it for the last couple of days, hoping it'll come right, but he's no better. Taking him to the vet on Thursday, but can I give him a couple of Panadol

to ease the pain in the meantime? The amount of quick replies will blow your mind. Everyone's just, no, no, no, Brenda, no, no, don't do it, don't, no, Brenda, no, no, no, Brenda, no, no, take a new emergency vet, Brenda, no, no, Brenda, no. No, it's not safe. No, Brenda. Definitely not Brenda.

No, please, Brenda, no, you'll kill him. You'll kill him. Oh, my God. You can't give a dog any sort of human medication. No, Brenda, no, no, Brenda, Brenda, no, no, Brenda, don't do it. Oh, my God. So I think she got the message. I don't think Brenda did. Right. Those are today's community notices. Brenda, no, no, Brenda, no, no, Brenda, don't do it. Oh, my God. So I think she got the message. I don't think Brenda did.

Right. Those are today's community notices. Brenda, no, no, Brenda, no, no. Brenda, don't, don't. Brenda, no. Go to Chingonhong Avenue. For a water tank and an ostrich. Those are today's community notices.

If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screencap it and send it to ours. FEMZM on Facebook. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay.

Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. So there is something that is making millennials feel guilty, very guilty, and actually physically ill. Right. So apparently the average... Using plastic. Oh, probably that, but not... Yeah.

Okay, well, we don't need to list things. We don't need to list all the world's problems. It's not that. And worries. And ability to live up to their parents' expectations. Okay. Again, we don't need a list. Right.

I thought you were going to put a house by now. Not eating healthy, although saying that they were going to eat healthy. Lying to themselves. Stop. Not drinking enough water. No, just stop. Not sleeping enough at night. Oh, my God.

I don't do any of these things. You're anxious already. Yeah. 40% of millennials said the top reason they carried a credit card balance was for daily expenses and groceries, but this is giving them a huge amount of guilt. So the average millennial has $27,900 in debt. That's got to be student loan, including student loan. This is America.

It's got to include student loan. Is this America? Yes, it is. Yeah, that must be student loan? This is America? It's got to include student loan. Is this America? Yes, it is. Yeah, that must be student loan. That's got to include. There's no way. But then it's similar here, right? The average person doesn't have that much

sitting on their credit card. That says it's a credit card study. But then if you've got a student loan, money that you earn goes to your student loan debt. And then so you have less money, so you need to put it on the credit card. Hmm. One-fifth said the debt that they have made them physically ill at least monthly. 45% said it made them anxious at least monthly.

And 35% said they felt guilty a month. Once. At least once. Well. The last New Zealand credit card I've had to Google. No, Fletch.

New Zealanders have 6.8 million of credit card debt. Is that all? And that was in 2017 in November. Is that all? Yes.

I would have thought it would have been more. Oh, November. So that hadn't accounted for Christmas yet. No. 6 million total. Yes. On credit cards? Yes. I would have thought it would have been more. November, so that hadn't accounted for Christmas yet. No. Six million total.

Yes. On credit cards. Yes. So that doesn't include like personal loans or student loans or mortgages. I honestly would have thought it would have been more. Yeah, same. But I mean, there could have been a more recent one. Gen Y, often referred to as millennials, are most likely to default on a credit card payment

with this generation accounting for 50% of credit card defaults. Okay. Again, not great news. Well, yeah, okay. I was trying to think of, like, an explanation. At least we're not as racist as the ones before us. Exactly. Take that. Take that.

Take that to the bank. They're like, hi, I can't pay my credit card minimum payment this month, but at least we're not as casually racist as our parents' generation, right? And we care more for the environment. Right. And the bank's like, I'm here. I recycle. Oh, do you?

Oh, my God. No, don't worry about this. I'll take care of this. I'll make this credit card. I'm actually just going to make all the credit card debt disappear. Thank you. You go and be you. Thank you.

Have you had breakfast? Have you had breakfast? I was going to go get some avocado on toast. Do it. Do it. I'm going to actually put some credit money in your account. Thank you. Don't worry about it.

You should run a bank. I like your bank. I've been in charge of a great bank. Yeah. Can I buy a house? Yeah, if you want. Can you give me some towards, can you pay for half of it? Yes.

Okay, done. Your bank would last a week. And then I'd have to go to another bank and be like, guys, I did something real dumb. I opened a bank, but ignored all the rules that have made you rich. Yeah. Am I a bad person? Well, we've had some correspondence.

From a male this week. That's all you're going to find out about this person. He remains anonymous. But he starts his email. Do we have age or location? We don't actually. We don't. Okay.

He says, hi guys. I need your help. I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year and when I'm not with her, I miss her and I can't wait to see her again. Sounds fine. Cute. But then Cute. So cute. So cute. I miss you. But

then when I am with her, all I want to do is break up with her. Not cute. Not cute. Not cute. We always send each other sweet texts to say how much we miss each other. But when we are together, we argue and she drives me crazy. I think about... How...

Is there any mention of how when they're apart, are they apart like a night or are they apart like a week? At a time? No mention. I just think when they're not together they send cute texts and stuff. So it doesn't sound

like they live together? No. Okay. I wouldn't say so. Right? What about during the day when they're at work? Oh, okay.

But that's only like eight hours. Yeah. Oh, I know. I miss you so much. Yeah. But then I don't get home and I'm like,

God, I wish I wasn't with this crazy bitch. In my mind, he's away every couple of days. For a few days at a time at least. Well, yeah, no. They've been together for just over a year, so potentially they don't live together. There's lots of jobs that would see you like an oil rig worker. He could be an oil rig worker.

It could be a FIFO. What's a FIFO? It's a fly in, fly out. Oh, okay. Yeah, like a minor or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, minor. I think about, oh, this is bad. I think about how awesome life would be if I was single

and how much time I could spend with the boys. Oh, yeah, the boys. Am I a bad person for thinking this way? Is it normal to feel like this in a relationship? Wow, so what an absolute conundrum. Like, I really like this person and miss them, but then

I hang out with them. I'm reminded that I don't. But then when I'm away from them again, I miss them again and then when I'm with them, I'm like, man, it would be good to be single and then when I'm kind of single it's like, man, I miss my girlfriend. I don't know, man. That sounds very confusing.

Like there's some stuff you've got to work through. But the whole point is like eventually you would, I mean, even if you don't get married, you're going to kind of like spend a lot of time with your life partner. You work towards cohabitation. Yeah. So if you can't be with them, then you can't be with them. Yeah. Right?

Like it's not going to work. No. But then if he breaks up, he's going to miss her. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is quite an interesting one, isn't it? So what, he wants to know, am I a bad person for thinking this? Well, no, because that's how you feel and you can't

help your feelings. But I don't know if it's a forever relationship. Would you agree? I'd probably agree. Vaughn? I would definitely agree. I just can't comprehend being away from someone and being like oh my god, I miss you. Like I can comprehend that part

but then when you see them again and be like sigh. Yeah, like miss you. Like, I can comprehend that part. But then when you see them again, be like, Yeah, like, so weird. Or does he just need to have a conversation with her and like, be like, okay, I don't know if she's like, you need to be with me all the time, but maybe he needs to work out boys time and time with her better.

Yeah, or maybe she needs to, there's some things that she does that he doesn't like that maybe she could not do when they're hanging out. Yeah, there's probably, if they're arguing, there's probably things that that she does that he doesn't like that maybe she could not do when they're hanging out? Yeah, there's probably, if they're arguing, there's probably things

that he's doing that she wouldn't. You'd be interested to see what her take on it was. Yeah. Okay, well, let's take some calls. 0800 DARS at M,

9696. Is he a bad person? And have you been in this situation before where you miss someone so much, but then you get with them and you're like oh no this is awful or I don't want this but then you you go away for a few more days

cute texts and stuff yeah okay 0800 966 have you been in this situation can you recover from it or is it a sign that the relationship's over give Give us a call. Am I a bad person? So the guy who's got in touch misses his girlfriend. They text all the time and then they get together and he doesn't like it. They send cute texts to each other. Yeah. Like, misses her. Yeah. And then they argue a lot. When they're together, they argue. And he's like, man, it'd be cool to be single.

Yeah. So what do you think? Is he a bad person? Georgina? Morena, guys. Morena? It'd be cool to be single. Yeah, so what do you think? Is he a bad person? Georgina? Morena, guys. Morena? No, I don't at all. He's just not with the right person. He's in love with the idea of being together with somebody, but he's not in love with her.

And that doesn't make him a bad person. He's just with the wrong person. It does sound like he's in love with the idea of kind of what he wants her to be. Yeah, and it's everybody, you know, when you're single for a long time and you start being with somebody and you think, this is what I want, and you make allowances for that person

that you shouldn't be making allowances for just because you want to be in a relationship. And that's what I'm kind of... Wise. Wise, Georgina. Wise words. Wise words. Thank you for your call. Mackenzie, is he a bad person? I think he just sort of sounds like he wants validation to end the relationship.

Like, he's made up his mind that they're always arguing and it's not working for him. So he's just wanting a second opinion to say, yeah, it's a good idea to end it. We are the doctors that will deliver that prognosis, that second opinion. And I think from what people are saying that, yeah, it probably needs to end this because no one's really seen this working out, are they? No, no. They don't sound

compatible. No, if you can't be with someone, like, it's probably not going to last very long. Nah, I wouldn't have thought so. Well, I mean, never a good sign when your partner annoys the hell out of you. Yeah. Constantly. In a bad way.

They can annoy the hell out of you in a good way, but when it's arguing. Yeah, exactly. Mackenzie, thank you for your call. Some text messages in. This is a prime example of an online relationship that doesn't translate to a real-life relationship very well. Oh, yeah. You talk to someone for ages and ages, and you think it's going to be great, and then you meet, and you're like, oh, no, that doesn't translate to a real life relationship very well. Oh yeah, okay. You talk to someone for ages and ages

and you think it's going to be great and then you meet and you're like, oh no, it doesn't work. Yeah. I was in the same position. However, after I could get out of it,

I could see that it was quite a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic relationship. Oh, okay. I couldn't be with anybody else and the idea was that it was great

when he wasn't around but then when I was with him I was always hating every minute of it. It was a very confusing thing. Somebody else said maybe he's got a fear of getting close to somebody or self-sabotage. It's easier to pretend you're close to someone when you're not actually with them. Could be quite complex.

So they don't think he's a bad person. Maybe he doesn't know, you know, he doesn't know that that's something that he does. But then there's other people saying, what a douche. I think the majority of people are like, this just has to end. Yeah, if you're entertaining the thoughts of breaking up with someone, just do them a favour and break up

with them. They deserve to be with someone who doesn't have those thoughts. And they might not like it initially, but you've done them a favour. Set them free. They'll move on. Set them free. Yeah.

And butterflies. They deserve to be with someone who wants to be with them all the time. Yeah. Imagine that you're a dock worker. Yeah. And they're a little brown kiwi. Who's been nursed back to health in a vet centre.

And they're going to set you free. Yep. You're not a little brown kiwi. Go, little kiwi. Enjoy your freedom. Go. Enjoy your freedom. Watch out for the ferrets. Yeah. Now, that. You're not a little brown Kiwi. Go, little Kiwi. Enjoy your freedom. Go. Enjoy your freedom. Watch out for the ferrets.

Yeah, now that's still a problem, little brown Kiwi. We haven't got rid of all of them yet. All right, you're behind a predator fence. We're pretty sure there's no rats, but we can't be sure. What are the ferrets in this metaphor? Be careful. Like in real life. Are there people on Tinder that want to sleep with you?

Oh, they're the ferrets. They're the ferrets. Because they'll ferret right in there. I don't know. Yesterday, after school, we went to the Smith family, experienced our first sort of like family sideline sports thing. Do they not do Saturday sports anymore?

No, no, this was like a school, it was the girls' school versus another school in this like, they're neighbouring schools so they've got like this rivalry thing

and they have this, like an interchange. Yeah, like a football, oh okay, because I'm allowed to call it soccer now. A sports exchange.

No, no, it's just football. Okay, right. It's just football. Right. So we got an email last week saying August really wants to be in the team. Yeah.

In the year ones and twos. Yeah. And because she's year zero because she started in June. Right. So go on. Is this good for her? Because, you know, like famously she ran one way in the race and didn't want to run back. Like, this is good.

She's getting involved in sports. Yeah, I was quite surprised, Megan. I was taken aback. Because she's got a bit of mongrel, but I don't know. I don't think she's got sports mongrel. She's your daughter. Yeah, like she'll pack a hussy fit like her dad, but not necessarily.

It doesn't really translate well to that sports mongrel that, you know, people talk about. Right. So they say August wants to take part and we're like, well, this will be good because, you know, get into a bit of the team sports. Yeah. They said, oh, look, shoes and shin pads completely optional.

Right. And so we didn't have shin pads. I'm like, that's fine, but playing shoes. You know what I would have done? I would have got a tip-top ice cream container and just cut some out and slipped them down our socks. Wow. That, um, wow.

What would that have done? Would have done nothing. Someone kicks your shins, you're still going to feel it through that. And you just smell like French vanilla the entire game. Yeah, or Rocky Road. Yeah, well, they think we could probably cut a bit of foam. Anyway, I didn't think, because it was said option, so I'm like, well, the kids aren't going to be wearing it, they're not hard out cut a bit of foam. Anyway, I didn't think because it was said option or something. Well, the kids aren't going to be wearing it.

They're not hard out. But some of these kids have been playing soccer football for like two or three years. Oh, jeez. So she's out there. They did a warm up and she was just like running around, having fun, doing cartwheels. Yeah. Which is a great warm up. Well, they do.

That's a good celebration for a goal though. Yeah, true. Yeah, true, true. So then it was like time to start the game, and all of these kids are wearing football boots and shin guards. I start panicking that I've wildly underprepared my daughter. Yeah. And then it hits me that she could get hurt, and I'll be very angry.

Yeah, well, especially with no shin guards. And no ice cream lids. I'm not going to be the parent on the sidelines screaming like, come on, you stupid ref. I'm going to be the parent being like, no, don't you touch her. And then I started freaking out because there was this, like, kickoff and she had her back to the ball. I'm like, she's going to get hit in the back of the head.

But everything inside me was like, no, no, we've made a big mistake. She shouldn't be playing. She could get hurt. Yeah, right. She could get hurt. And then, so that started and she just ran around really.

And then she had a couple of kicks of the ball. Yeah. And every time I was like, yes. But like, she was just like running around, a lot of running around.

But after the ball? Kind of in the direction of the ball. The teacher coach said, like, lots of high fives, like all about like encouragement and sports. Yeah, right. So she was just running around high-fiving her friend, and they were just like, boom, high-five, great work.

Good to see you again. But had they done anything that needed a high-five? They had done her share. Right, okay. She had shin pads on. She was kicking. She plays like weekend soccer, so she knew what she was up to. So there was a lot

of running around and then because there's heaps of kids, they subbed them off. Right. So August comes off and she's like, I'm done.

How many minutes? What point? Yeah, how many minutes? Three or four. And she said, I'm puffed and a kid hit me in the back. I'm out.

I'm out. And we said, are you going to sit in the team line? Yeah. And the subs started rolling, and then she gets to the front of the line. She turns around and looks at me like, are you ready? Are you ready? I'm still puffed. And I'm like, I'm with you.

I'm puffed. I'm with watching. She's so your daughter. We'll go home if you want. Sade's like, we can't go home. Because Sade played soccer. She's like into it. Loved it.

Yep. So she's like, you line up, mate. You get ready to go back on. And then that's when August runs back on and this kid comes up who knows Indy from school, our older daughter. And Indy's there. And he goes, hey, Indy. And Indy's like, where'd you get that sausage?

Because he's eating a sausage, sizzle sausage. Where'd you get this? Not like, hey, mate, great to see. And Indy's like, where'd you get that sausage? Because he's eating a sausage. Sizzle sausage. Where'd you get this? Not like, hey mate, great to see you too. She's like, where'd you get that? He's like, oh, they're up there. And she said mum can I have some money for a sausage? And he said they're free. And Indy was like gone. Disappeared. But she is

quite thoughtful. She'll brought back two. So she's like, I brought one for me and one for August. And then August sees Indy's got a sausage and she's like on the field playing she's like she had a sausage pointing like where'd you get that from and so august more or less calls her own sub she's like yeah so be our coach comes and sits down and she's like, oh, I needed this. I was getting hungry out there. So she drinks like a liter of water and eats a sausage.

And then she's like, I can't. I'm too full. I can't go back on. I can't go back out there. I'm too full. You're so good, daughter. I'm too full. Yeah, exactly.

And I'm like, I'm with you. I'm with you, mate. You'll get the stitch. Let's go. I don't want you getting hurt. Right. Sade's like, go and sit with your team. If you've finished, go and sit with your team.

So she had to go sit with her team. Eating a sausage. No, no, she'd finished that. It was getting close to her going back on, and she's looking at me like, no. I was like, come on, hopefully the time's going to go soon. And the teacher's like, August on. And August is like, you've got to be kidding me.

Again? So she runs on. She's like, turning around, high-fiving her you've got to be kidding me, again? So she runs on. She's like turning around, high-fiving her face, and I'm just like, great to see you again. Just had a sausage, feeling good, drank some water, a little bit full, probably going to get the stitch. I'm going to take it easy. And then the final siren goes, and she comes over,

and she's like, let's go. I was like, you've got to go shake hands with the other team. What for? I was like, good work, great. And she was like, oh go shake hands with the other team what for I was like good work great and she was like oh okay okay and she went in

and she was like she loved that part but it was a draw so she didn't lose she didn't win and then they're like team photo and she's

I've got the team photo on my phone she's up the front on one knee with her hands on her hips like she was the star of the play right front and center

for her credit of course she was. So like her dad in every way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did everything for her. Hesitant about being there. Just wanted to do cartwheels. Came off when there was food.

Drank too much. Reluctant to go back on, but posed at the end for the photo like the other hero. That is me. Take all the glory. That 100% glory hog. She is my daughter. ZM's Fletch Warner Take all the glory. That 100% glory hog. She is my daughter. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Woman from the UK, Stacey, she went viral. You may have seen this pop up in the news yesterday. Her fiance Dave has taken steps to protect his biscuits and chocolate and delicious snacks from being eaten by her. Right. But he likes the ration, doesn't he? And she gets in there and eats them all, no self-control. You know how it is.

Yeah, you come home and they've eaten it. And you're like, where's mine? He has purchased something called a locker box. A locker box one. Now, these are boxes that have like a little combination lock on the front of them, and they slide in. They actually look like a little separate compartment in your fridge. Right.

So, I mean, if you're one of these people that doesn't like storing chocolate in the fridge. No. But you could store it. I guess you could put it in the pantry. There's nothing to say it's just for a fridge. And, yeah, so she's put a photo of it online and it's gone viral. So it's just a lockbox for food.

Yeah, but it's see-through. So that's even worse. You can see what you can't get. That's why it just looks like another compartment of the fridge. I've looked on Amazon and there are dropbox what do they call it? Drop shipping places that deliver here

in New Zealand as well. Yeah. £29.99 for this. So what would that be? About $55? Yeah. I don't know, shipping wise.

And you can get various ones. But I reckon you could smash it with a hammer. Do you reckon you could smash it with a hammer? Why doesn't she just get her own lockbox? Yeah, I think it's the point of it.

Because she doesn't want the whole pack of biscuits. She just wants one. I don't like your tone. Yeah. It's why doesn't she get her own chips? I don't want any chips. I just want one of yours. I don't want a whole pack.

I just want one of yours. Well, why have you eaten three quarters of my chips? I didn't want my own bag of rations. I just want to buy yours. Well, why have you eaten three quarters of my chips? I didn't want my own bag of rations. I just want one of yours. You've eaten all of the money in my bag. Truth hurts, Megan. Truth hurts. I literally was, Andrew was in the bedroom and I was in the kitchen and I was like, I

just, he'd bought toffee pots. I was like, I don't want toffee pots. And I like opened the packet real slowly and just got one out. And he's like, what are you doing? It's got like ears from. Yeah, it's because kids can hear higher frequencies. Like you thought you were being real quiet because you're like old. And it's like all the high pitch rustling of the packet.

And he's like can hear a mosquito. And he's young. That's why you can't like go loiter at the mall door because he's like, ah, because of that anti-loitering sound. Whereas you're like, what's going on? But so did he make you have a toffee pop? No, well, I was eating it by the time he was like. The secret to a bag of biscuits is you pull it all out and you take one from the back row, eat it,

and then push that one you've eaten from back in first. So by the time they get to the last column, there's no biscuits in the last column. And then they're like, what? And you'd be like, oh, my God. Get the supermarket on the phone. That's appalling. Anyone's ever gone to the supervisor checkout

and they'd be like, I bought this packet of biscuits. The last column's gone. What? And then because that's a lie that the supermarket checkout operators told their partner as well, they have to be like, unbelievable. It's happened to me as well. If I want a high chocolate in my house, I just put it in the fruit and veg drawer. The shut-eye just keeps chucking more vegetables in there

and never takes any out. Great intentions. Yeah. Rotten cabbages and stuff on the bottom. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm going to need my ox chord. Vornox. On and up.

Vornox. Vornox. I've got a sound to play for you today. Okay. Today's fact of the day is that baby crocodiles sound like 1980s arcade game noises. This is great. Ready? Yeah.

Baby crocodiles, ladies and gentlemen. Is that a Ready? Yeah. Baby crocodiles, ladies and gentlemen. Is that a video? Yeah. Oh, my God. This guy, he works at a Floridian wildlife sanctuary. They're baby Cuban crocodiles. And he's their caretaker at a place called Dragonwood Conservancy.

Yeah, I'll climb all over me if you could. Ugh. No. Oh, they look like they love him. They look real cute in that stage. Yeah, they're real cute. They're like little lozods.

Little lozods. Little lozods. And that's the noise they make. And they're not in like, because I thought they'd be in like maybe a room that's a bit Like a bath or something Or some kind of enclosure that

Made it sound like that but No no no They're just in a plastic container So it sounds like it's real echoing around But it's There's heaps of them There's like One two three

Ten Five six seven eight Twelve Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Like sixteen or so Oh okay He's like 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Like 16 or so. Oh, okay. Well, my estimation was out by six.

16 or something. So, yeah, that's what they sound like when they see him because he often obviously looks after them and feeds them. Yeah. And then the idea is that he will raise them. And still they're bigger. Was that your go-to laser noise when you were a kid playing shoot-em-ups? Like that.

I think that was mine. It was like a gun. What was it again? No, you're talking about lasers. That's pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Right. Okay. Well, it, pew, pew, pew. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Right, okay. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Well, it's important everyone has a different laser because otherwise you won't know who's been shot in the playground.

You won't know who's shooting who with the bloody lasers. Pew, pew. It's just the gun. Yeah. Well, that was really good. Yeah, I had like a semi-automatic like that. Cheating. Why is it cheating?

Oh, because it's semi-automatic. Yeah, fair call. Single shot. Laser blaster. Yeah. That noise again. Oh, I was going to play them again. It's so cool.

So, it's worth looking up online because you've got to see it, really. They're really cute. They're actually really cute as well. So today's fact of the day is baby Cuban crocodiles sound like a sound effect from a 1980s arcade game. Fact of the day, day, thought, finally, I'm going to get to call 111. Have you never called 111? Well, I think ages ago I did when some people were fighting.

Sometimes I get in the mood to call them and I'll go find trouble. What, like a vigilante reporter? I'm like Batman. I'm like, I see trouble. Hello, please help. Quick, get help. Who is this? It's Batman.

And they look scary. Anyway, I've got to go. I'm Batman. Bye. And I run home and I get home and Shadow's like, you've been

vigilantising again, haven't you? I thought I was ready for it again but I was not ready for it. It was very scary. It's the worst vigilantising I've ever seen.

Especially because I squeal so loud when I call. They all look. Yeah. I'm hiding in the dark because I'm like, help me,

New Zealand police, I want help. Well, anyway, one of the sides of my building is getting painted. It's going to get painted. So they're putting scaffolding up. Yeah. And I was like, here we go. Here we go. What do you mean here we go?

Because they've started putting it up. So they put up from the street up onto the roof next door. They put up like a big kind of a ladder scaffolding. The painters have got to get there, don't they? Yeah, they've got to get up there. And I was like, here we go. I'll give it a few days before someone tags the building, before it's painted, or before, I don't know,

some shenanigans go down. Well, last night, nine o'clock, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And I'm like, oh my my god is that someone on the roof which would never normally happen but then i'm like oh my god that's right there's scaffolding there now there's a way up to the roof and i'm like peek out the little blind hello i like peek out the little blind and this is like two drunk students and one of them's like oh my god bro we just climbed a building we're on a building whoa and they're like peer over down to the the the ground like many a meter yeah like five stories on par with your place yeah yeah five stories

because my building's next door to that. Whoa! And then I'm like, oh, my God, they're on the balcony. And they're walking like on the roof. They're not even standing on the nails or on the bits of wood that are put on there. I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, I'm going to have to call the police because what are they going to do?

Are they going to break in or something? Or fall through the roof for themselves. And then they were like, okay, let's go. And I'm like, phew. Why, they climbed down? Yeah, they just walked back and climbed down. Whoa. They're lucky they didn't fall off.

Or fall through the roof. Yeah. Like the next door roof. But then I was like, oh, well, I was going to ring the police. And I was like, by the time they get there, they'll be like, well, where are they? And I'll be like, well, they've left. And I would have had to give a statement. And I'm like, want to go to bed.

So I was like, too hard basket. Write it off. And then I just went to sleep. I thought you would have popped your phone on record and popped it up on your windowsill. Oh, what a great idea! It was in the moment, Vaughan. You know what it's like when you're vigilante-lized. Do I what, man?

Do I what? Now I've got the taste for it. I need to go and vigilante-lize. Find some trouble. Call the've got the taste for it. I need to go and Yeah. Vigilantalise. Yeah. Find some trouble. Call the police. Run away from it. Find out it's just like dudes doing roadworks. I think they're digging a tunnel

to get into the gold reserve. Mate, they're just doing roadworks. I think you better come and look anyway. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Good morning.

March 2019. Yep. Six months ago. Six months ago, Vaughan Smith orders something online. It was, um... I'll tell you what it was. It's, uh... So we've moved to the country.

We're not on... Gonna eat a lot of peach trees. Actually got a peach tree and there's a lot of blossoms on it, so... It's just a little wee one. It's just a little wee one. It's just a little wee one, but it's doing all right. So we got water from the tank and it goes through some filters and then it goes through this UV light tube. A UV light tube?

Like a disco? Yeah, but you're not supposed to. If I wear a white T-shirt in this pipe, will it look purple? You wouldn't go in the pipe. The pipe's too small. Hypothetically, you would have to have your eyes covered. Did you not? He called you fat.

I'm just saying. You're saying I can't fit in your pipe. Unbelievable. Please don't even try to fit in my pipe. Please don't force it in. Please don't force your way into the pipe. That is not for humans. Okay.

So there's a pipe and it had a bulb in the middle and a little counter that says every year you've got to replace the bulb. Oh, yeah. So the bulb, the counter ran out. The light treats the water. Filter, filter, 20 microgram filter. I know all about it. One microgram filter, which takes out all the stuff. And then through there

kills any other stuff any boogie boogies so if you had a dead possum in your water tank or a poo it'd all be taken care of with this bulb

and filter that's quite amazing maybe you would taste it but I think it kills anything in the water right amazing and it might be

a total scam but anyway the bulb expired and I pulled the bulb out and I looked at it and it didn't have a serial number or anything on it. So I'm new to the game. I've got no idea. So I go into a retailer and I say, what's the story here?

And they said, oh, this is it. And I said, can I have a quote? Yeah. Wink. Wink. Then you take your quote home and you take the serial number and you find it cheaper online. That's life, baby.

Evolve or die. So there I am thinking, oh, I've saved myself. It was half price online. How much was this light bulb? I paid $90. For a light bulb? Yeah, for $100. Well, it's one of those things where people get all carried away

with safe drinking water. I don't want my family dying. Oh, better spend 90 bucks. Yeah, okay. So you're saying they wanted like 180 in store? Yeah. So it was in March that I placed my order online. For this bulb?

For this bulb. Okay. And it was all good. It was like, welcome to the family. Yeah. Here's what you've ordered. It's been saved. So again, next time you can just order it again.

Yeah, right. Is this legitimate? This bulb? It's an official bulb? Because, you know, I searched the serial number and it came up the serial number. It's exactly the same one. It's the same bulb.

And I looked at the end thing. Yep. And it looked the same end thing. Okay, right. Where it connects. Well, it sounds legit then. It sounds legit. Same length, right length for it connects. Well, it sounds legit then. It sounds legit. Same length, right length for the tube.

Yep. So I order it and it's like, welcome to the family. Now, two weeks later, I get my first email saying, no, that's my confirmation one. Here's why, because I've got the email history. Yeah. There has been a delay from our supplier. Oh, okay.

Expect shipping by the end of May. Okay. So I in my phone open up the end of May and I put Bob should be here if not another email. So the end of May comes and I haven't heard from them. So I messaged them again and they said, unfortunately we're still experiencing

delays from our supplier. Please expect it by the end of the week the 14th of June. So that rolls around and I give them a little bit of leeway and I write, hello. I was promised the delivery and then there was no delivery. And then you said there would be another delivery and then that delivery hasn't happened. I'm just wondering where my bulb is. And I said, if it's going to be too much longer,

could you just refund my money? I feel that waiting this long is unacceptable. Oh. You sassy little bitch. Yeah, I know. You're playing hardball. So I head back. I pass this on to our accounts team as a refund request.

Please allow 48 hours due to high volumes of requests. And I said, why is there such a high demand for refunds? You are being sassy. That was on the 27th of June. Wow. That was when I looked up the company and found that other people

had had problems. You just wanted to do that before you order. I did a quick one, but then I did a more in-depth one. And this person was like, I ordered this thing and it just never showed up and they're not replying to me. So I was like, uh-oh. So then I waited a couple of weeks and I emailed again saying, still waiting for the refund on this item. Yep.

Then nothing happened. Yep. And in the first week of August, I wrote, hello. Again, I'll run you through the whole story. I was promised delivery. No delivery. Delay, delay, delay. Asked for refund.

Haven't received either. Where are we with this? And that was the end. I heard from them. When did you send that? That was at the start of August. Wow. Then, knock, knock, knock on the door on Tuesday.

Guess what's on the front door? Your bulb. The bulb's arrived. A handle. The bulb's arrived. Well, the front door does have a handle. It's got a knob and a lock and everything. That's good for you.

Good for you. And the bulb's there. Right. Just no word, nothing. Refund promised, not refunded, but you've got the bulb. You might still get the refund and the bulb. Well, I'm thinking of emailing and saying, where's that bulb? No.

Because they're obviously a bit of a mess. Yeah. And then when it runs out, when the counter runs out, by the time they get it to me, I might have another bulb. So to save yourself $90, you've literally had to wait. runs out, by the time they get it to me, I might have another bulb. So to save yourself $90, you've literally had to wait six months. But we've lived,

because I was initially like, I don't think we need to replace the bulb, because we've got the filters and everything. And Shadow was like, no, we need the bulb. And so I said to her when I was putting the bulb, God, we lived six months on this toxic drinking water. Well, thank God we've got this now, so we don't die of what's been killing us for the lived six months on this toxic drinking water. Well, thank God we've got this now so we don't die of what's been killing us

for the last six months. Screw it on. Click, click, attach. All go. All go. Right. So you're safe in... Well, I can't tell the difference between the water.

Every time I've taken a drink since, I've gone... Shadow's like, stop that. I know what you're doing. You're trying to, yeah. You're trying to, you're trying to make it look like

the bottle's making a difference. I'm like, well, no, I didn't say that. In fact, hold on, I've got some water in my bottle here

from the tap at home. Yeah. Shardé's probably in the car, so I'll just give this a bit of a Yep, today I can taste it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.