ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 20 2019

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

Celeste Barber is on the phone, Friday Flashback and when did you have to drag your injured self somewhere?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. When you said there's been a Brodie Retallick update, I like to imagine the top right-hand corner of Brodie Retallick. It was like, updates ready to install. Try later. Some apps could not be updated automatically.

And it's been nagging Brodie Retallick to install the update for like the last week. Eyes can't be open during update. Please close and try again. So today, 10.45, Japan versus Russia, the opening game of the Rugby World Cup. Yes. I'll miss. You'll be asleep? That's late for you, isn't it?

Who's expected to win out of that? Japan? Or Russia? Yeah. No, Japan are expected to win out of that? Japan? Or Russia? No, Japan are expected to win that one. Japan's got the speed. And then tomorrow, a whole host of games, including our very own against the Springboks. And that'll be again at 9.45 New Zealand time.

That match. Again, you'll probably miss that. You're thinking that's too late for you. It's 9.45 on a Saturday. Far too late. Going through my agenda. My weekend agenda. All right, there's no gaps.

Coming up on the show today, big announcement, 9.45 this morning, our mystery axes. Axe. Ax, ax, ax. It sounds like you're saying ax. And the mystery ax, like a wood chopping ax. You have my boo, I have my ax. Mystery ax.

Ax. Ax. Ax. Ax. Well, we've got a couple more ax to announce for Friday Jams Live. 9.45 this morning. That will complete an already incredible lineup, so make sure you're listening for that.

That'll be during our 90 minutes of non-stop jams with another chance to win a $1,000 cash. Another. Well, I was going to say another, and then I was like, I've got to go. Another. Another. Nga-nga.

It's a nga-nga. Coming up on the show soon, the top six. Yes, Robin Malcolm. Better known as... Nurse. Agent Anna. Oh, what? Better known as Cheryl West.

Cheryl West. No, she'll always be Nurse. Ellen. Ellen. Somebody. Crozier. Crozier. Was that it?

Yeah. Good from you. Short and straight. Is her last name Crozier? Isn't that from Home and Away? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's because it was Minnie Crozier. Good from you. Short and straight. Is her last name Crozier? Isn't that from Home and Away? No, no, no, no, no, no. It was because it was Minnie Crozier. That was her daughter, right?

How the hell did you know that? Good work from you. Delved into the old mind palace there. It's amazing what you can remember. Like, why did I need to retain that fact? And my other things I forget. Yeah. Like where you put things.

Yeah. Gone. Like what? Yeah, Ellen Crozier, thank you, Megan. Wow, how the hell did you know that? Yeah,. Yeah, Ellen Crozier. Thank you, Megan. Wow, how the hell did you know that? Yeah, this is great. Mindy's Minnie Crozier.

Who was Carla Crozier? That was her evil sister. Really? She's in here at work sometimes. What's her real name? I still see her about and I'm like, huh. Yeah, me too.

She was like a great Shortland Street villain. You're a Shortland Street villain even when you see them later on, you're still like,, ah. Yeah, me too. She was like a great Shortland Street villain. You're a Shortland Street villain. Even when you see them later on, you're still like, ah. Elizabeth Esther. Yeah, she did a series where she like went around the islands of New Zealand, I think. She was Shortland Street's first ever murderer. Murderer.

Oh, she was scally. Yeah, she was rightly scally. And she had that real like bumbling husband. I think he was on the chopping block. That was literally 15, 20 years ago, probably. And you're still terrified of her. It was like 20, over 20 years ago. Really?

Yeah. Yeah, wow. Okay. Well, anyway. Ah, God! I still see Stuart Nielsen's brother out and about. You remember that guy? He was another bad.

Darryl Nielsen, I'll short and straight. I still see him and I'm like, oh my God, no. Not today, Daryl. All those poor actors. Forever and a day.

Anyway, Robin Malcolm said that if they're filming the new Lord of the Rings TV show here in New Zealand, there should be some changes and Gandalf

should be a Maori female. Okay. Interesting. Take. The top six capable Maori actresses that could be Gandalfori female. Okay. Interesting. Take. The top six capable Māori actresses that could be Gandalf

coming up. Alright. Oh, good pause there. Pregnant pause after that. Pregnant pause. I was waiting for Fletch to say, coming up,

or this is the song on ZM. This is the song I'm getting there. Fletch, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Three very short news headlines today. Vaughan and Megan, decide which headline you want and we'll delve, we'll do a deep dive into that story. Headline one, instant weapon. Headline two, free premium cable. And headline three, Amish DUI. Amish DUI? Yes.

Free premium cable. Amish DUI is somebody's been driving the horse and carriage and had a few too many meads. Yep. Meads. What were they drinking? Was it mead? It doesn't say.

Just beer. Mead's like a cidery, berry, honey mead situation, right? Right. I don't know. Would I like that? Is it more like cider? No, you wouldn't like it. Okay, good.

Bourne knows what I like. Not sweet enough. Doesn't taste like berries. What's story number one? Instant weapon. That sounds a bit of me. Instant weapon. Instant weapon.

Instant weapon. Okay, you want that one? Yes. Well, you'd be familiar with instant coffee. Yes. Yes? Yes. Yeah, I just had one.

I know what it is. Well, a Melbourne man had just been into the supermarket because he needed coffee. And he purchased Nescafe Blend 43, which comes in a jar. Nescafe Blend 43. Yes, yes, yes. I can see that here. Imagine it's your standard mum and dad coffee, you know, the jar that they have in the kitchen. Well, anyway, he was walking back to his car when a man approached him while he was walking back with his Nescafe Blend 43 and demanded he hand over the keys to his car.

He was armed with a fake gun and the Melbourne man at this stage refused. And that is when he was knocked to the ground and his jar of Nescafe Blend 43 smashed. Providing him with a shard of glass that he could then use to fight off the would-be car thief. Oh, I thought he donked him over the head with his whole jar, but he just used a shard. I believe he tried to fend him off, yeah. So the quick saving

and the Nescafe Blend 43 glass managed to fend off the attacker and the man took off. But he broke his jar of coffee. He did lose his coffee. But I'm assuming, and I don't know the follow-up to this, it has aired on Channel 7 in Australia.

I'm assuming Nescafe or maybe... Came to the party. Yeah, someone, a coffee place would have come to the party with a lifetime supply. Maybe Makona came to the party and said, mate, you deserve better, to be totally honest. Don't listen to Greggs and the Red Ribbon Roast, people. That's trash.

Have yourself a delicious Macona. We have to be... I don't know about the Macona jar. I don't know. Would that be safety glass? It's pretty heavy. I imagine if you broke that, it would smash like a car windscreen. I don't know.

It's just a bit of coffee, so I imagine it's a bit of glass. If you're wondering why like you probably heard two if you're a bit of an audio detective there where you said Macona jars and then you heard two.

It's because we all have a Macona jar. We have a Macona jar each and we bulk buy the nice Macona because at work they buy the junk. They buy junk.

It's not even as good as the Nescafe 43 blend. I don't know what we buy here but it's rubbish. It's not as good as the Nescafe 43 blend. I don't know what we buy here, but it's rubbish. It's not as good as the Nescafe 43 blend. I wouldn't imagine so. This looks a lot nicer. Hmm. I don't know, because I locked up Nescafe

43 blend. It looks pretty... Rubbish. Right, okay. But you are an instant coffee snob. I am. Can you even be an instant coffee snob? As weird as it is. I get it from my mum. Right. Bougie on a bougie.

Bougie, right, okay. So, that coffee, actually, I reckon these would be great weapons. Oh, yeah, I don't reckon that, if you got someone on the head with a full jar of that,

they'd be going down. Yeah, they'd go down. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. We are, Megan, the podcast. We are... Megan, have you been to Bali? No, I haven't. Kind of, for this reason.

Kind of for what we're about to talk about. Yeah. Bali is sick of Bali bogans, but... Like, we're kind of slipping under the radar. The Australians are the big problem. Yeah, right. And to be honest, when we were there, yeah, I saw some New Zealanders,

but everybody was being very well behaved. But when you saw someone being a duck head, it was an Australian. You could tell because they were always talking really loudly. Yeah. You could hear their. The last night we were there, this guy was driving a scooter down a busy footpath, smoking a ciggy on the phone. Yeah.

Talking about, yeah, now, what have you now been drinking since the morning? I was like, meow, there he goes. I was like, wow, he's going to die,

so. Yeah. I hope that's his mum and I hope he's saying goodbye to her. But Barley's got a long list of Australians that go there

and just make dickheads of themselves. When we were there, there was the guy he's since been named, Nicholas Carr. He fly kicked a guy off a motorbike. Why?

He just drank too many cocktails. He ran onto the road and a guy was coming. He literally like jumped and kicked him off the motorbike. Oh, my God. What the hell? Yeah, and he could be going to jail for two years, eight months. Wow. For that.

Fair enough. Bali jail? Yeah, like Bali jail. We drove past. We drove past. Did you go past it? They love pointing that out to you, eh? Yeah, yeah.

They're like, Chappelle Corby stayed here. The guy who was driving us told us it was big news when Chappelle Corby got in prison, but then no one in Bali cared about it after that. Yeah. I said, oh, because in New Zealand and Australia it was always like a mess. Every time something happened, we got a news story on it. He's like, oh no, heaps of drug dealers in there, just chuck them in there and leave them.

He'll be in there. It's quite a notorious prison, isn't it? Yeah. So he'll be going to that. He could be going to that. There's a long list of Australians that have done awful things. One girl had prescription medication.

She didn't have a doctor's certificate or anything, and the police arrested her, and then she said they extorted her, but then they had all the proof that they didn't, and so she was just trying to, like, get more Instagram followers, as it turns out. As you do. She wanted to be like a big news story. Right. Which is really sad.

But people smashing things, drinking too much, making absolute dickheads of themselves. Yeah. Because somebody got elected in Indonesia and said, oh, we need more spots like Bali around Indonesia. And Bali's like, it's not all it's cracked up to be. This is why this is in the news. Yeah.

Debating that. I mean, it's good on one hand. You get all this money coming in. But. Then you get people urinating on your sacred fountains. Yes. Exactly. Oh, my God.

That was the other one. Five naked Australian men are running through the streets, insulting locals, vomiting and urinating in public. Yeah. And, of course, those two tourists that washed their privates. Yeah. In the Hindu temple. So, yeah.

I mean, they like it because it's a source of income. Yeah. But they don't like it because we don't behave ourselves when we're there. We? Australians. Look, I'm sure there's some New Zealanders over there that have made right tits of themselves. But Australians make the big headlines.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Gandalf should be a kuia with a moko. That is what Robin Malcolm said about the Lord of the Rings TV series being filmed in New Zealand. How do you think that would go down in America when it comes out on Amazon?

Be like, what? Well, I scrolled down reading the story, but then I stopped before I got to the comments. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know. I'm just looking. No, actually, I'm not

going to see what the general response is. Oh, no, don't. No, I won't. But with that in mind, I mean, it's a fantasy world. There's no such thing as wizards, so I don't know why they should be white men. Yeah, this is true. I mean, that's the story that we've been told and the story that we're... But this is also based on some other workings, I think.

Right. Of J.R.R. Tolkien. Yep. In genuine question, can you have female wizards? Yes. Well, why not? Well, because I thought they were witches. Wizards and witches.

Oh, yeah, Megan raises good points. I've never seen a man witch. Because I was just in Harry Potter. You've seen a man witch. Where have I seen a man witch before? We had one for lunch the other day. That's a sandwich. Oh.

So the top six people capable of playing a female Māori Gandalf. Number six, Siobhan Ruakere. She'd be a great Gandalf. From what now? She did her stint on Shortland Street and it might finally give people something other than yell than, gunge me. Yeah.

Which is walking down the street. Yeah. Still gets it. Number five on the list of the top six people capable Why am I people capable? It's because they both end in Baboo Yeah

Poo and baboo Of playing a female Maldi Gandalf Rena Owen Oh yes You may remember her as Beth Hecke Yes Once Warriors She would get it done

Let the man pass You shall not pass I won't Peke. Yes, once warriors. She would get it done. Let the man pass. You shall not pass. I won't. That would be good. Thank you. No, I wouldn't. Run, you fools. Number four on the list of the top six people capable of playing a female mold again of Keisha Castle Hughes.

She'd be great. She's got the acting chops. Yeah, she'd be great. She's got the acting chops. Yeah, she'd be great. She's got the chops. She's been in Game of Thrones. She's been in Hollywood. What did I see her in the other day? What was that?

Yeah, what was that one? And they were the Unabomber. She was in that one. Yeah. She's great in that. Have you only just watched that? No, no, no. It just popped into my head.

Oh, right. Okay. Number three on the list of the top six people capable of playing a female Maldi Gandalf, Cliff Curtis. Dude can play anything. He can. He can play.

Yeah. I don't want to say that when he's played Middle Eastern terrorists, South American drug runners, Mexican gang cartel. Yeah. He's been around the world.

Yeah. He can play anything. He recently played The Rock's Brother in Hobbs and Shaw. That's right. He's been around the world. He can play anything. He recently played The Rock's Brother in Hobbs and Shaw. That's right, he was in, wasn't he? He was a Samoan in that. Yep. So he's capable. So we're not doing women.

He's capable, Megan. Okay. Sorry. Have you seen CGI these days? Easy. Number two on the list of the top six people capable of playing a female Maldi Gandalf, Rachel House. You'll know her from Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

And she was Grandma Tala in Moana. She's been in a bunch of Taika Waititi films. Oh, yeah. She'd be great. So she'd nail it. Fantastic actress for drama and comedy. So could do both. And number one on the list of the top six people capable of playing a female Maori Gandalf,

Sam Neill. Sam Neill, that dude is so good. You've got to say he's one of our best actors. Oh, yeah, he is, yeah. Do you know what, Megan? Do you know in Jurassic Park, Megan, the dinosaurs weren't actually there. He was acting to nothing.

He was acting like they were. Yeah. But they weren't actually there. He was acting to nothing. He was acting like they were. Yeah. But they weren't. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Neill. I get a Maori woman when you can get a white man. Again, CGI, Megan. And makeup.

I can't see anything wrong with that. Can you? No. Not at all. It's a lot. Yeah. Okay. No. Oh, well. God. You try at all. It's a lot. Yeah, okay. No?

Oh, well, God. You try. That is today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Te Ara Tū, South. You've got some questions to answer from your local countdown because you've all been pinching their shopping baskets. A man went

to do his shopping and he's wheelchair bound. Oh, okay. So he finds it, you know, hard to just carry things or almost impossible to push a trolley. That would be pretty bloody hard. Yeah. Ian McDonald's his name. He went and there were no baskets.

And he said to someone working there, where are the baskets? And they said, oh, there's a heck of a problem. We used to have 100, but now because there's no plastic bags, people are walking out with them. And what, just taking them home? Yeah, I guess so. Because was this the same? I know there have been a few supermarkets that had this problem

when the bag law changed, start of the year, March or whatever it was. But I would have thought they would have sorted that out or people would have had their reusable bags by now. You would have hoped so. I would have thought they would have clipped out or people would have had their reusable bags by now. You would have hoped so. I would have thought they would have clipped one of those little beepy things on it, like when you buy clothes and you've got to have them professionally removed. Oh, yeah, but that would be expensive for all of those baskets. But they put them on clothes.

Yeah, true. How expensive can they be? I mean, not an egg pack. But they have them on meat packs. So you can't steal meat. Yeah, they do. And batteries and... Or maybe those flat sticker ones. Yeah, right.

Anyway, they have put those on the four that now remain. Oh, no. Are you kidding? They said two weeks ago there was a dozen. On Wednesday we did a count and there was only four. Yeah, right. So they're just walking out the door. There's laminated signs saying,

these are not to leave the store, please. But that hasn't stopped people. Just taking them home. They need to do an amnesty. Because if you take one, you're like, I'm going to get in trouble bringing this back now. And it's one of those things where people wouldn't have thought about the people who are going to suffer in that situation.

They're like, oh, the supermarket's got heaps of these. But also, come on, countdown's not poor. Buy some more baskets. Yeah, but if they just buy more, then it's just people are just going to take more. They should do like collect stamps to get a basket. Like your own basket. Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be brilliant. You know how people go crazy for that. Well, then what's their latest one? They're doing the letters. They're doing the letter, the Disney tiles, the little tin tiles with letters and characters on them. Those are quite cool. I know you said you wanted me to...

I spelt fart with one yesterday. Oh, did you? I know you said you wanted me to get those, collect those for you. Yeah. But I was at the self-serve checkout and I said... Yeah, and you have to buzz for assistance. Yeah, it says you can earn two tiles. Press the button to buzz for assistance.

I'm like, no, sorry. Sorry, Vaughan's kids. Okay. You'll go without your tin tiles this time. You're going to go without some letters. But I wonder if, because supermarkets in the past have spent quite a bit of money on helicopters to do flyovers in neighbourhoods.

That's for the trolleys. To get trolleys. But go one further and get the thermal imaging. Or the x-ray cameras. Plastic doesn't show up. Plastic doesn't have a heat signature. Yeah, but no, but you'll see the people inside carrying the basket in their hands. They don't carry it around once they get home. They probably just leave it in the car.

Are you sure? But also, why do you need to take the basket? Because if you can't remember to take the bags, you're not going to remember to take the basket. You're just going to end up with lots of baskets. Yeah. But then I don't know what they're doing with them.

The death penalty. The death penalty is the only way to go because people will be so scared they won't do it. They won't do it. It seems a little drastic. It seems a little drastic,

but I mean, I'm willing to give anything a shot at this stage. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Sean Bean, most recently and probably most well-known

in the last 10 years for playing Ned Stark from Game of Thrones. Even though he's only in the first season. That's right, but he kind of resonates through the whole thing, doesn't he? Yeah. He said he's actually started turning down work where his character is killed. Not because he's got an ego about it, but he just said it makes it super predictable.

Everyone thinks I'm going to die the minute I'm in anything anyway. Because he kind of became a thing online when he did die as Ned Stark. People started looking into it. Famously, most of his characters die in any action movie. So he said it's just a predictable thing. Recently, I was working on a job and they said, we're going to kill you in this. And he said,

oh, no, no, no, no. And then they said, well, can we just injure you badly? He said, okay, as long as I stay alive. Right. Also, I want to keep the work. He's played a great bad guy

in so many roles as well. So that's why, you know, the bad guy always dies in an action movie. Yeah. But he's got a list of his 23 deaths. I thought I'd run you through how he's died.

He's had his throat cut. Okay. He's been stabbed by a bayonet. Yeah. But he's got a list of his 23 deaths. I thought I'd run you through how he's died. He's had his throat cut. Okay. He's been stabbed by a bayonet. Yeah. This is what he said was one of his favourites, but a bit of an unusual one. He was forced off a cliff by stampeding cattle. Oh, my God.

He drowned in a river. He was impaled by a rapier, which is like a little sword. Yeah. He was also impaled by an anchor. Oh, okay. That was in Patriot Games. Yeah. He was also impaled by an anchor. Oh, okay. That was in Patriot Games. Yeah. He was stabbed in his own bed.

In Golden Eye, a James Bond movie, he fell into the world's largest satellite dish. Oh, okay. He fell to his death. Yep. He's been shot with a pistol. He's been shot in the head. Yeah. He, in The Fellowship of the Ring, was shot by like three different orc arrows.

Yeah, okay. He really gets it, doesn't he? In 2001, he was burned alive. In 2003, in Henry VIII, he was hung with chains. In equilibrium, he got shot in the face. In the island, he was choked by a scaffolding chain. In the far north, he froze to death. Outlaw, he got shot in the chest.

The Hitcher, he got gunned down. You're ruining all of these spoilers. Oh, yeah. Come on, these are over 10 years. Okay, old movies. Death Race, he got shot in the chest. He was shot in red riding. Black Death, he was torn apart by horses.

Oh, okay. Whoa-ses. Shot in the head during a car race in another movie. Game of Thrones of course he was beheaded. And next, well, the world is his. Well, no, next he's saying no, stop this. But then that's a spoiler because if you watch him in anything

coming up, you know he won't die. Yeah. Has he done many films where he doesn't die? All the other ones, I guess. Yeah. Hard he done many films where he doesn't die? All the other ones, I guess. No. Yeah.

Hardly, though. Buddy. Yeah. So he just doesn't want to die as much. He'd be really good at it now, though. You know? Yeah, he's getting better and better. Every time.

Like, when he actually dies, people will probably just think he's acting. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. There is a warning from police. Did Aidan Police have been very busy this week? They caught that guy driving with a bowl of cereal. Remember that? I was 18, wasn't I, and driving.

Yeah, they did one of those distraction stings where they caught people on their phones. He was very distracted. Eating cereal, he was. But a warning ahead this weekend of the Fleetwood Mac concert, because they're playing in New Zealand, playing in Auckland, this Saturday. They're going to Dunedin for one.

How do they actually do in Auckland? It felt like every night I was seeing people at Fleetwood Mac. Yeah, I think they've been here for like a week or so. Right. They are warning people heading to Fleetwood Mac this weekend not to preload on wines. And they're looking at you, middle-aged women. They are pointing the finger and saying the biggest problem are middle-aged women

preloading on wines before coming to concerts at Foresight Bar Stadium. And they are pointing to the 660 concert previously as reason why they're saying this. Yes. And that in an effort to crack down on drunkenness, they will be, and they have used the term, where, here, the concert guys will be detected by security

if they are teetering in the line. Whoa. Teetering in the line. Whoa. So they will be eyes on middle-aged women if they are teetering in the line. Ooh. Teetering in the line. Ooh. So they will be eyes on middle-aged women who can't stand up straight in the line. And they are saying that the women quite often in the past have been quite upset and aggressive

if they've been challenged. But they're saying if you are intoxicated, you are not getting in to this concert. They're just trying to have a good night out, you know. They're just trying to save money. They don't want to have to buy those little plastic bottles of warm wine for $800. Even at middle age, they should be financially secure. They should be able to purchase an $8 bottle of mini wine.

Yeah. They shouldn't be preloading. Preloading is the game for people who can't afford expensive drinks when they get out. Well, there is a 24-hour liquor ban that's been introduced around the stadium from Saturday at noon. So they're not even holding back. They're not even being subtle about this. They're literally like, you lot are a problem.

Yeah. No drinking outside. Yeah. Watch yourselves. We'll kick you out if you get a bit raucous. Yeah. And also a warning on traffic as well between Christchurch and Dunedin on Saturday with a lot of people heading down for the concert.

There's also been news that there's a possibility that voting could go down to 16 years old. Oh, okay. And there's been all these arguments saying, oh, young people are so irresponsible. They'll vote, blah, blah, okay. And there's been all these arguments saying, oh, young people are so irresponsible they'll vote, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, they've not proven to be irresponsible yet, whereas, you know, older people have proven for the last however many elections, they just don't

vote. Yeah, true. So, and you know, I can't imagine the irresponsible 16-year-olds are going to be bothered to vote. Yeah. I can't see the problem with it going down to 16. So why not just let them vote? Yeah, everybody's been labelled irresponsible before they've even had a chance to be irresponsible.

Would you have been responsible at 16, Vaughan Smith? No, no, no, no, no. 16-year-old Vaughan Smith shouldn't have voted. Yeah. He probably wouldn't have. He would have voted for the joke party. Was there a joke party? The serious party.

Or the legalised party. No, because I reckon my mum would have been watching me. She's not allowed to. It's a democracy. She would have come out and she would have been like, look me in the eye, who'd you vote for? I'd be like, not the legalised, get in this place. Get back in there.

Get it out, fish it out. Cross that out. Can't have your name attached to that. Get it out of there Yeah I think that's what Dictators do in other countries Yeah but times have changed now I reckon Kristen

Would be down for a bit Of legal hooch As she gets older Yeah right She said that She's always Got a sore She's always got a sore

Something Okay And she was like I'd try it if it wasn't illegal Because she's a stickler She's got that old stove Toby perfect for a row Oh yeah get that And she's got some Bloody'd try it if it wasn't illegal because she's a stickler. She's got that old stove to be perfect for a row. Oh, yeah, get the knives.

And she's got some bloody lovely bone-handled cutlery that she's inherited. It'd be a shame. I don't think that's what her grandmother gave it to her. No, I don't think that's what it passed. That's not what the intention was. I can't imagine Dolly would have put the bone-handled cutlery between the ceramic coils. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far? And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor.

Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. Joining us on the phone to talk about the International Day of the Girl and her trip to India, Kimberly Crossman. Good morning. Good morning, guys.

How are you? Very, very well. I saw this on Instagram and her trip to India. Kimberly Crossman, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you? Very, very well. I saw this on Instagram, your trip to India. It looked kind of great for a few reasons. I mean, obviously, you got to go and meet your own sponsor child. Yeah, that was probably the highlight in terms of joy. I feel like the rest of the trip was pretty heavy. Well, amazing, and I met some really amazing people.

Yeah, it was definitely an interesting trip, even in the wake of it. It's been back for a week now. I still feel pretty conflicted about a lot of the stuff that I witnessed. So, yeah, it was pretty full on. Had you ever been to India before? No, I hadn't.

It was actually the top of my list. My dream in life is to be in a Bollywood film. So India has been on my list for a long time. I'm not the best dancer and I can't sing. So I'm not sure how that dream will ever come into fruition. But yeah, it was definitely a cool trip. Obviously, the reason being I wanted to go and meet my sponsor child. And then I got to go with World Vision New Zealand and meet some of the other girls that had been sponsored by Kiwis.

And it was quite cool. The villages that I went to were all entirely supported by generous New Zealanders. So yeah, they were cool communities who have been able to have some education and some health care and all of that thanks to New Zealanders. So that was pretty awesome. But I think probably the most heartbreaking thing was meeting some girls who unfortunately had to get married and were, I guess, victims of child marriage and have had multiple children at age 14 and things. And so that's pretty nuts and

hard to kind of comprehend um as well so it was it was good to see that world vision was doing amazing work and once girls were educated actually standing up to their parents and going against child marriage but in the same breath meeting girls who didn't have that opportunity and seeing what their kind of life path looks like is quite terrifying for us as Kiwis, something that we don't see growing up in New Zealand. So you say they were 14 and they already had children. So what kind of age were they when they were getting married off? So I think from my understanding, the way it works is as soon as a girl

reaches womanhood or gets her period, that means that she is ripe for the pickings. So they kind of get sent off and arranged married at that age usually. So, yeah, it can be as young as eight in some cases. Wow. That's not fine. And that I've got a seven-year-old daughter at home, that's quite confronting. Yeah.

And I think, like, my niece is 11, and just to meet other, you know, and I think that's what's difficult is you're meeting these girls who, some of them are just so, well, any of them who have been educated are just so grateful that they get to learn and, you know, how empowered they were. And, yeah, and me just looking as well as my 11-year-old niece to, you know, get to play and dream and be whatever she, you know, wants to be in life.

And just a lot of these girls who haven't had that opportunity their life path is already carved out of what it will look like so it's quite definitely terrifying. If an 11 year old here gets a part time job it's to have some spare change to spend on something they want to spend it on

not force into child labour and have to work. Yeah but I will say, though, like, seeing the work firsthand and seeing my spouse' child and seeing what a difference that makes to the trajectory of their life. Like, these girls want to have careers that have been educated. They want to be engineers or police. Police women came up a lot, which was really, I was like, oh, that's awesome.

You know, or teachers. And they want to start helping other, like was really, I was like, oh, that's awesome. You know, or teachers and they wanted helping other, like the younger generation come up trying to teach them in their spare time. So it was definitely cool to see that change firsthand and see that ripple effect. Well, as you mentioned, it does make a difference if people can help out.

And if you want to join the movement to sponsor, the goal is 1,000 girls by the International Day of the Girl, which is on October 11. You can go to worldvision.org.nz slash a thousand girls. Kimberly Crossman, thank you so much.

No, thank you. Thank you guys. I appreciate your support too. We got it. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Christmas.

It's not, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It's not. This is about Christmas though And we're 94 days away from Christmas Eve Woo It's crazy

And to double digits now And Christmas Eve Why am I specifically counting down to Christmas Eve? Well there is legislation in front of the Queensland State Parliament Because Australia is so big and so spread out. Lots of states. They've got their federal government, which is the central one in Canberra. Yep.

Canberra. Canberra. But they've got state governments as well. The Queensland State Government is planning to make Christmas Eve an official public holiday. Oh, I love that. What a great idea. However, only from 6 o'clock at night onwards. Huh?

So it would kick in at 6 o'clock. Oh, right. So if you work during the day, still tough titty. If you start work after 6 or your shift goes into after 6, like if you're in retail, you're now going to need to be paid at a public holiday rate and given whatever benefits come with a public holiday. That's kind of good because that helps people in like the service and the retail industries

that have to slave away the night before Christmas when they've got Christmas stuff to do. Also, Australia's a bit different to us when it comes to public holidays. Like they just don't work. Yeah, right. They, like, Australia's really weird about Sundays as well. Like, the shops open late as if they open at all. Right. Whereas we're just normal.

Open everything. We're godless is what I'm saying. Right. We're a godless nation. We're a lost nation. But I like that idea of Christmas Eve Being like a public holiday So if you are working

Anyone that works an office job That's practically a day off anyway No one's doing anything You're like I'm going to work from home this afternoon A lot of families Celebrate on Christmas Eve too That's what my partner's family does I notice in Europe

some days like they're even deader than Christmas. Christmas Eve. Yeah. Like that's when they celebrate more. Yeah, that's when you have like a dinner and you open presents and stuff late on Christmas Eve

after Santa's been. What do you open on Christmas? Nothing. Wait, so you stay up till Santa's been? Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no. The kids will you stay up till Santa's been? Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no. The kids will get back up after Santa's been. So they get two rounds?

Yeah. Well, no, they don't get anything on Christmas Day. Christmas Day you just like have a lunch and you play with whatever you've got. Well, no, that's technically your boxing day. But then there would be a possibility imagine getting a brand new toy and they're like, alright, off to bed. Yeah, I know. Horrible. But then it's something to look forward to the next day. You can actually play with the things you've got. Oh, but you won't be able to sleep imagine getting a brand new toy and they're like alright off to bed yeah I know horrible

but then it's something to look forward to the next day you can actually play with the things you've got maybe you won't be able to sleep

and then you'll be an absolute wreck on Christmas afternoon yeah but yeah that's like both my husbands

have celebrated on Christmas Eve both their families do it right so that'll be good for those families we've only ever done

a Christmas Day. Yeah. Like Christmas Days. I've done other stuff around Christmas and other families can't make it. happening here.

So apparently it's already a thing in the Northern Territory and South Australia. Huh. Okay. Christmas Eve from 6pm onwards

is an official public holiday. Should make the whole week before a public holiday just because, you know, then there's time to do shopping. Just knock the week off. Yeah, no make the whole week before a public holiday. Just because, you know, then there's time to do shopping. Just knock the week off. Yeah, no, the whole week off.

Couldn't agree more. Yeah. Couldn't agree more. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A bit of drug bust news. First of all, did you hear about that? Boo!

Boo! Wah, wah. More of a traffic noise than a drug bust. Yeah. You don't know. What? They might do the boop. It would ruin it because they've got to be staking you out.

And they come back and they're like, what do you got for lunch? And the other guy's like, I just got a sandwich. They're like, okay, I'm just going to lean across and get the bit. Woo! Ah, turn it off quick. Oh, gee. Do you think they noticed? No, you're right.

Okay, good, good. You know, drug people aren't paranoid, so they won't freak out at all about that weird police noise. Worst police stakeout person ever. So, first of all, on the west coast of the South Island in New Zealand, did you hear about the Marijuana bunker? Yes. Seven metres underground.

They were growing hydroponic Maharaswana. With, like, hydroponic... With a tomato set up. Yeah, like... So they went into one of thosewana. With like, um, like hydroponic. With a tomato set up. Yeah, like, so they went into one of those stores and they're like, I'm growing tomatoes in an underground bunker. And the guy's like, ah, tomatoes. Wink.

Yeah, right. Just the thing. So they were growing underground. And apparently it's been like this mythical thing on the West Coast for ages. Right. That I guess when the stoners are having a sesh, they're like, do you know that this weed was grown seven metres underground in a secret bunker? Yeah, whoa.

That's intense, bro. It's a small place. That's going to get around. And actually, you've got to get around it. It existed and the police raided it and busted it. Another one in Australia, drug bust news. Yeah. Australians are importing drugs from the dark web.

Right. Okay. This is the internet, the dark web. It's the normal web, eh? But do you go to a different site? Like, how does it work? I have no idea. You put in something at the start.

Dark web at the start. D-E-W. Right. Okay. A bit beyond me. We've mentioned it before and someone texted me saying, if you want to know anything about the dark net, give us a call. No, no.

Well, like when you're using Google Maps and you go on a tunnel and suddenly it gets dark. And then you go out of the tunnel and it's like, da-da, daytime again. What? You know when you go on Google Maps? No. When I went through the Waterview Tunnel, it's like dark outside.

Does it? And then it comes back when you come out the other end. Yeah. I didn't know that. That's very clever. I know at night time it changes. Well, you're saying the map itself goes dark. Yeah, like it's night time.

Are you sure that because it's not dark in your car that you're thinking the map's going dark? No, because that would be brighter then because the contrast of the dark outside. Yeah, well. Now, this is the sort of shenanigans that Google Maps pulls. Okay, right. It doesn't tell you and then you find out about it

and you're a surprise and then you tell your friends. But that's not the dark web. It's not just your browser doesn't go dark. No. It's very illicit and illegal. It's not just your browser doesn't go dark. No. It's very illicit and illegal. It's a bit more than incognito browsing. Anyway, they're buying drugs and they're getting them posted to Australia. Actually?

To their houses. Yeah. Posted. Yeah, and to different addresses. But the weird thing is they're addressing them to names of famous Australians, like Don Bradman, Australian cricketer. Right. He's had some drugs intercepted.

We're looking for Don Bradman. Not the cricketer, because he's dead now, isn't he? I don't even know who that is. They're using like big name Australian celebrities to import drugs into Australia. Chappelle Corby. So what they get to these if they get through

the people at the address, are they just saying oh well it's not meant for me, it's obviously meant for Chappelle. Deniability, yeah. It's meant for Don Bramman. But if it gets through and they're not, because I don't know because the police could let them through, right? But then stake out the house. I guess so, yeah. And then you'll get in trouble

for opening someone else's mail. Yeah, and if there's a lot of comings and goings and then they come in and you don't have the drugs anymore but you've just got all this money, I mean, that's a very easy line to draw between you're not following them, Megan. They sold the drugs for money. Oh.

She's there now. She's there now. She's there now. That's why she's not On the undercover police force But yeah So that's what they're doing In Australia Ordering drugs

Under famous people's names Australia Yeah Don Bradman Dead cricketer And the latest Walter White Of importing drugs

Into Australia Flesh forner Megan The podcast ZM Joined on the phone now By special guest She's an actor she's a comedian and she's i guess somewhat of an influencer celeste barber good morning hi guys how you doing good how are you very good i'm good thank you i'm good got a cup of tea

have you just woke up early for me but it's good i'm good i was gonna say because you're over from aussie it's a bit early for you won't it yes it. I'm good. I was going to say, because you're over from Aussie, it's a bit early for you, wasn't it? Yes, it is. But anything before like 10am is early for me. I don't do mornings, but I'm happy to be here. So how do you, for people who don't follow you on Instagram, how do you describe what you do to people who aren't savvy with Instagram? I take the mickey out of celebrities is essentially what I do.

I get a celebrity photo and then I parody it and I put my own twist on it. And I essentially just take inappropriate, unflattering, half-naked photos of myself and put them online for 6.1 million people. And everyone loves it. So out of all the celebrities that you have parodied, have any of them slid into the DMs to congratulate you on your recreation of their photos? Yeah, actually, it's kind of fun.

I get a lot of DMs from the fancy people now, and it's also fun because I get messages from them sending me other celebrities' photos to take the mickey out of. I'm like, ooh, that's interesting. Like you're some sort of weapon in the war of shade being thrown. Yeah, absolutely. The models are throwing me around over there like crazy. It's great.

Do they ever slide into the DMs and like, hey, you should do one of my pictures? Yeah, I get that as well. It happens quite a lot now, actually. They're like, hey, have you seen this? I'm like, yes, mate, I saw it. Hang on. Give me a minute.

Hang on, hang on. Give me a minute. I'm just halfway through making a costume. Has there been anyone famous where you're like, oh, yeah, that photo's just not, like, very good? You've had to, like, turn them down? Yeah, yeah. Because I think some people think they're a lot more exciting than they are.

Yeah. And then you're like, look at this photo I did. It's crazy. Can you do a parody? I'm like, it's boring. No. No. One of the biggest moments for me was seeing you do like a whole campaign with Tom Ford

and then you made out with Tom Ford. I know. Yeah, it was a pretty big moment for me as well. Did he smell nice? Because I've got some Tom Ford and whenever I wear it, people are always like, oh, you smell lovely. Yeah, and I said that to him. I was like, oh, my God, you smell like paradise.

And he went, yeah, it's kind of my thing. I was like, well, you're doing it well, my friend. Well done, Tom. Yeah, it was like dreams. How many times do you reckon you made out with him or was it a one-take wonder? I reckon we made out maybe like a hundred times. No, it was kind of we were under the pump

because it was on the day of his New York Fashion Week show. So we had to do it. And he actually was like, here, let's go again. I was like, I don't know. We don't need to keep kissing. I've got it. He goes, let's do it again. I was like, I don't know. We don't need to keep kissing. I've got it. He goes, let's do it again. And I went, all right, sure.

I don't care if the cameras have gone. Let's just kiss. Yeah. You sat front row at his show, right? Is it true you sat beside Cardi B? Sure did. Yeah. Wow.

And did you have a chat? How did that go? Well, yeah. I mean, we had a chat. As much as you can have a chat. Front row fashion week with Cardi B. It was fine. But, you know, she's busy.

God, that's a whole other world, that sort of thing. There was people like about 20 centimetres from her. And I mean like cameras and interviewers and, you know, media. And then the second the show starts, they leave. And then the second the show finishes, boom leave. And then the second the show finishes, boom, they're back. So in between, I was like, hello, hi, hello, how are you going?

And she's like, I'm good. And we're just chatting a bit. And then I believe I got shushed because the show started. And your husband, he is involved a lot, hot husband, is involved in your post.

But was he always keen to, when you first started out, keen to be a part of it? Well, yeah, he's always been keen for me to retire here. So, yeah, he's pretty happy. He just woke up at like 5am and has gone and got an Uber somewhere then hired a car, then hired another car because he's going for a surf somewhere two hours away. So he's going for a surf somewhere two hours away.

He's doing fine. Yeah, right. Does it bother you that he's got like over 130,000 followers on Instagram basically just from women perving? No. A bit of reverse sexism never hurt anyone. No, I'm fine with it. I don't mind. I kind of monitor that.

Well, I kind of run that account anyway. And I just need him to monetize it now. I'm like, can people just start throwing money at you to be hot? Isn't that how it works? So it's the next thing. I've always been of the opinion that's how it's supposed to work. Yeah. So your show in Auckland is tonight.

What can we expect for your shows while you're here? A lot of fun. A lot of drunk mums in my audience Which is the best part Because you can tell that you know We get out what once a year So when we get out we get out Yeah I talk a lot about the Instagram stuff

And hanging out with fancy people And I throw in a birth story It's a bit of a mixed bag But it's fun It's an hour, energised hour. Well, I'm out of breath at the end of it, so there's that. Well, the Bruce Masons show tonight has sold out, but you will be in Wellington tomorrow night at the Opera House

and livenation.co.nz for all the ticket information. Thank you so much, Lise Barber, for talking to us. Thanks so much, you guys. Have a good day. Friday Flashback. Thanks, Anya. Well, today, Friday Flashback,

it's my pick for Friday Flashback. And today, I'm going to go, because I want to get people warmed up and excited for 9.45 this morning. 9.45 this morning,

we are announcing the Mystery Axe that will join the lineup for Friday Jams Live. That will join Janet Jackson, 50 Cent, Black Eyed Peas, Jason Derulo, Kerry Hilson,

Sisqo, Savage, Jaquan, Fairman Scoop. Yup. So, I have decided to go for a song that made it to number 10 in the charts in New Zealand. This was what?

No, it's number 10 is an interesting choice. You're like, number 10. Actually, do you know, this is probably where it charted around the world. It was probably its biggest charting. Really? Yeah. In terms of like the top 50 charts. Made it to number 10 here.

21 in Australia. 85 in Germany. They weren't such big fans. Right. to number 10 here. 21 in Australia. 85 in Germany. They weren't such big fans. Right. German charts are a little weird sometimes. US Billboard Hot 100 though, 63. So, you know, it was in there. 63?

But, you know, we've been playing a lot of songs from some artists that are going to be at Friday Jams Live, but I haven't heard this one. So I thought we'll get this one. Okay. We'll get this one. Okay. We'll spin this track. You're going to spin a track, aren't you, mate? We'll spin this track.

I'm going to spin a track. Now, this song features not just an artist from the Friday Jams lineup, but had a special guest, Macy Gray. Remember her? What's that? Her voice. Remember that? Yeah. I say goodbye. Yeah, that track. lineup but had a special guest macy gray remember her what's that my voice remember that yeah

wasn't drunk i don't remember that awards show she got up on stage oh if you don't remember that it's she got up on stage and she was drunk. Oh, if you don't remember that, it's a good YouTube. It's a good watch. Well, she probably didn't expect to win. We've all been in an awards ceremony bored out of our brains, haven't we? And there's lots of free wine. Today's Friday flashback, getting excited and warmed up for a 9.45 announcement. Black Eyed Peas with Macy Gray and Request Line. On CDM, it's your Friday Flashback. Call up the line.

Call up the request line. Call up the line. Call up the request line. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Call up the line. Get down with it, down with it. This is a request, Mr. Radio Man

Just one desire from a hip-hop fan Hey, DJ Hey, DJ Play a record by my favorite band I like to hear my favorite song on the radio So I call and request it on the radio Tell the DJ, spin it over, make show Make up up a feel like I'm down at the disco

And we gonna keep it going like this though Cause the DJ grab the record by the fistful By the crateful And we grateful When you hit us off of records that are tasteful Last night DJ saved my life Cause the selection of the records he played To the direction of the record we slayed

And all night through the session we stayed Could you make it, I've been feeling Good blood, I've been feeling Touch the ceiling when I'm feeling And I've been feeling alright Don't stop, keep it going now, come on This is a request, Mr. Radio Man Just one desire from a hip-hop fan

Hey DJ, hey DJ Play your record by my favorite band Turntablist, bless me on my stereo Play my favorite song on my stereo Like Macy Gray, Roots, and D'Angelo Most def late, new, he ain't Cinderella, so I like them cuts With a soul and original Never afraid to be creative

On your radio Spend my jam When I'm crushing down the barrio Turn my audio Up, create a party-o Hey DJ Won't you play my song And get my rock

Get my roll Get my hip-hop on And Be dancing All day, all night Give me some insight Make me feel out of sight All night

Got me feeling All night Got me feeling All night Got me feeling All night Oh shit, sad Got me feelin', got me feelin', got me feelin' Oh shit, got me wanna get down all night All right, all right now

This is a request, Mr. Radio Man Just one desire from a hip-hop fan Hey DJ, hey DJ Play a record by my favorite band Jump up, enjoy the sound Show everybody just how you get down Get loose now, get down Everybody, everybody have a good time

Jump up, enjoy the sound Show everybody just how you get down Get loose now, get down Everybody, everybody have a good time Let's not a DJ say my life Let's not a DJ say my life This is a request, Mr. Radio Man Just one desire from a hip-hop fan

Hey DJ, hey DJ Play a record by my favorite band This is a request, Mr. Radio Man Just one desire from a hip-hop fan Hey DJ, hey DJ Black Eyed Peas, Macy Gray. It's your Friday flashback today. And Black Eyed Peas, one of the huge lineup artists from Friday Jams Live. We've got another announcement.

Our secret special guest will be announced 9.45 this morning. Make sure you're listening for that. Do you want the feedback? Don't care. You've been described as the porridge. The porridge of Friday Flashback. I love how someone said strike one, Fletch.

Where have they been? It's definitely at least strike three. So many strikes. We all have strikes, guys, okay? The porridge of Friday's Flashback. You fill a gap, but that's about it. Ouch. Ouch. I'm trying to get people excited for Friday Jams Live.

This song is not how I wanted to start my Friday. Oh, wow. Why are people so negative sometimes? But other people said brilliant song. Yeah, thank you. That was one text. Yeah, nice. That's another text. Yeah. No, thank you, man. Man, why are people so negative? Sometimes people said brilliant song. Yeah, thank you. That was one text. Yeah, nice. That's another text.

No, thank you, Megan. Tune. Somebody said. See the pauses? He's trying to find the good ones. No, I was just going to reply to this person who said, let me know when it's over. It's over.

Come on back. I mean, I was going to choose a Fleetwood Mac song, but you chickened out. Everyone was like. It's believable. I mean, I was going to choose a Fleetwood Mac song, but you chickened out. Everyone was like, it's too old. No. You were the only person that said it was too old. You were the only person. I said, big risk it for the biscuit.

No, Caitlin wasn't going to let me do it. She was like, no. She was all for it. Look at her face. Yeah. But what we did learn is Megan hates Fleetwood Mac. Oh, yeah. I know I'm alone. That and Sublime. Sublime and Fleetwood Mac. Look at her face. Yeah. But what we did learn is Megan hates Fleetwood Mac. Oh, yeah. I know I'm alone.

That and Sublime. Sublime and Fleetwood Mac. But even I said you should do that. Do you not like getting drunk and singing along to anything? I know. I've heard this all before. Even I said do it. Why don't you like Fleetwood Mac?

I don't know. Too much of it growing up. It's just not my thing. You can go your own way. Such a jam. It's such a good band. You can go your own way. Such a jam. It's such a good band. All the jams. Oh, yeah.

Everyone's saying you should have done Fleetwood Mac. Now the Fleetwood Mac support texts are coming in. Damn it, are you actually? Absolutely. Next week, join us for Fleetwood Mac. No. Let us know what Fleetwood Mac song you want. No, it's too old.

I'll pick the most popular Fleetwood Mac song as voted by you. Oh, and you'll take all my glory, will you? You were the one that said you wouldn't play it. Are you just saying it's too old even now? Can't want the glory without taking the risks, baby. All right. I want to talk about an Australian guy. He's 54.

Yeah. He went for what was described as a short Sunday hike. What? See, in Australian, no. Snakes. Spiders. He was one sentence into the story and you've got a problem. No.

Don't go hiking in Australia. It is weird how much we take for granted in New Zealand. I know. Like, just like ferreting about. In the bush. Lately I've been moving a lot of like rocks and bricks that are stacked up outside our house. In Australia, you'd have to be so rocks and bricks that are stacked up outside our house. In Australia, you'd have to be so careful.

Like, imagine pulling up bricks. I'm just like, chuck, chuck, chuck. You pull them out, there's like a snake. You'd be like, ah! Yeah, here it's just slaters. Slaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And daddy long-legs us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, what are you doing here? And he's like, I'm out of here. Woggle, woggle, woggle, woggle, woggle. That's how he does it. Anyway, this guy goes for a walk and it's not a snake or a spider that gets him. He falls down a waterfall. Oh, okay.

Okay. His left leg, described as doctor's, snapped in half. Oh, my God. Just above the ankle. A break so severe that it was just wobbling around. His flopping there, but still held on. Yep, still held on. The skin was doing its job, but everything else had just given up the ghost.

Okay. He was a flop dog. And another thing, his wrist was broken. His left wrist was broken. So his left leg, his left wrist, that's half of his body, stuffed. Now he's by himself and foolishly,

this is again, it's very important to let anybody know your plans if you're going for a hike. Or to take a locator beacon so you can set it off. Yes. I don't know why he didn't have a phone on him. I always wanted to press that button. He didn't even have a phone.

Could have had no reception. Could have been an option. Right. And so apparently when he sort of like came to. Yeah. At the bottom of the waterfall, he was like, well, I'm in a lot of trouble now. I've told no one where I am. Yeah.

And I've got to crawl out of here. Yeah. He spent two days dragging himself. He said there was times where he looked down and he just had to pick up his broken ankle. Oh my God, no. He'd keep pushing on just dragging himself for two days

before he was rescued. The doctors were like, oh, this ankle's an absolute mess. Like, it was a real wreck when they got him. But he survived. Over time, it all healed. Really? But I'd like to know from you this morning,

when you had to drag your broken ass somewhere, like, you know, oh, how horrible would it be breaking your leg and looking down and just see it flopping? Or like the foot facing the wrong way. And you're like, well, I'm going to have to drag myself somewhere. I'm going to have to at myself somewhere. I'm going to have to at least cover a few hundred metres.

I'd love to know those stories this morning. And just not pass out. Yeah. So when have you been somewhere you've injured yourself and you've had to drag yourself and save yourself?

You had to sort yourself out. Yeah, you had to save yourself. If you just laid there, it could have been a long, long time until someone came. I'd just lay there I'd just Take me now

This is your chance Jesus 0800 DALZEN If you can text 9696 So talking about An Australian man Who dragged himself

For two days With a broken leg And a broken wrist Yep And he did it He just dragged himself Until he was with a broken leg and a broken wrist. Yep. And he did it. He dragged himself until he was found and then he was rescued. So we want to know when you had to save yourself, really.

When you had to drag yourself with a broken limb. Take yourself to your own rescue. Yeah. Liz, what happened? Hi. My dad was mowing, went to mow the lawns down at the local church in Nelson. Yeah. And he was backing the lawnmower off the trailer, you know, two bits of wood, Kiwi style. Yeah.

And he fell off the lawnmower and the lawnmower fell on top of him. And he got a compound fracture, like it went right through his overall. Yeah. And it was really early in the morning, and so he didn't know what else to do, so he hopped back on the lawnmower and mowed all the lawns until someone came past, and he, like, drove the lawnmower up to the fence,

and he was like, hey, mate, I've got a really bad broken leg, and the guy didn't believe him, and then he walked away. Oh, my gosh! And your dad's like, oh, wow. Old mates, hey, they just truck on, don't they? Could he have driven himself to like White Cross or like the hospital or something

on the run a little bit? Yeah, he should have probably, and the funny thing was, is what he had done is he closed the gate as he drove in. Oh. So he couldn't get off the lawnmower and under the gate. His cell phone had fallen off and he couldn't get off the lawnmower to pick up the cell phone, so he was like, bugger this, I'm just going to keep mowing the lawns.

And he mowed all the lawns until someone came past. And then finally they took him seriously and rushed him to Nelson Hospital with a massive compound fracture. Oh my God. Old mate, say. I can't believe it. That's just incredible. Liz, thanks for your call. Will, what happened?

I only cut my leg with a chainsaw. Oh, jeez. And so you had to save yourself. Yeah, I was by myself. I had to hobble onto the motorbike, and I had to hobble and open and shut gates, and then no one was at work, and then I had to drive to meet my dad and yeah.

On a motorbike? No, no. I hopped on the motorbike, then I hopped into my car and the leg that I cut was up my accelerating foot so I was a bit of a mission. You're so casual about it. Oh no, wow. Do you

still use a chainsaw or are you not trusted with the chainsaw anymore? Well, next time I'll probably use a chapstick. Yeah, yeah, use a chapstick. Chapstick. Not chapstick, no. Chapstick, the protective pants.

You should use chapstick too. You know, also use chapstick in the sun, yeah. You know, chaps, the arseless chaps, those ones you've got. Like that, except a little bit safer. Right, are they, okay, right. Because you wear pants underneath them, you shouldn't be wearing arseless chaps chainsawing.

Right, make sure there's something under your chaps. Because of the hedge. You don't want to back into the hedge. Jamie! I don't get that analogy or that metaphor. What happened? Okay. My dad was riding his motorbike out the back on our farm,

was doing whirlies up the hill, and it fell over backwards, and he snapped his back, and he didn't have his phone on him and we thought he was like doing the cows. Yep. And so he had to drag himself on the ground over 20 acres of hill land to get himself back to the house, call the ambulance and he snapped his, I think it was like T12 vertebrae in his back or something. Wow.

And he was in hospital for a few months and he couldn't do anything. All because he was doing wheelies. Yeah. That's why you've got to be careful. I was going to say, did mum tell him off? Yeah, just a little bit. Well, he won't bloody learn unless someone tells him. Exactly.

Hey, Jamie, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. I was going for a run at a park in Palmerston North. I broke my ankle because I hit a pothole. I thought I just rolled it, but I had to crawl back to the car park. I drove a manual car back across town. Yeah. And I'd only just got my restricted license.

My driving was terrible because every time I pushed in the clutch, I was in immense pain. Immense pain. In Vietnam on an eight-day motocross bike ride from Hanoi to China through the Vietnamese mountains. When I was in Nam, like in the war. No, not the war, Nam. I broke two ribs on day one and I smashed my knee.

I had to tide the next seven days up. I had to tide over the next seven days of goat trails, rocky riverbeds, and in the jungle, standing on one leg, trying not to move too fast, as whenever I breathed, stood, laughed, or coughed, my ribs were broken. Oh, my God. Why didn't you go out on the first day? I don't know. Day one, you don't want to go out.

And you've paid for the tour. They're not giving you a refund, are they? Yeah. No. I broke my shoulder on a drunken night out. Yeah. So I kept trying to like drink beers with it But my arm wouldn't go up

So I had to use the other arm to push that arm up But wouldn't you just use the other arm? Yeah To hold the beer in your hand? The other one I could avoid yourself some pain If that's not your normal hand You don't want to spill it all, do you?

Yeah, actually drinking with my left hand Does feel a little bit weird Especially with a big glass If you had a big glass You might not have the wrist strength you're saying. I don't know. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about primates and music. Can you look up and see if in the system fletch,

Justin Bieber's Beauty and a Beat is there? Stand by, Vaughn. And I'll also need Adele's Rolling in the Deep. Why didn't you say this before? Because I like to test you. You've got to stay sharp, you know? You're deleting everything. sharp, you know. You're deleting everything. Why did you backspace so many times? Because I

left two spaces instead of one. I don't have beauty in a beat. You don't have beauty in a beat. Beauty in the beat. Beauty in a beat. Rolling in the deep will do. Because today's fact of the day is regardless of our many likenesses with chimpanzees and great apes and

other primates, they have absolutely no appreciation of music. How dare they? They cannot tell the difference between any sort of music and they can't even differentiate

music from digitally scrambled sound. Really? Yeah, because there was a study once that said monkeys, great apes, chimpanzees, orangutans prefer classical music, but they don't. They've restudied it, and they said there's actually nothing that they appreciate about music. They did go crazy for Justin Bieber's Beauty and a Beat

and parts of Adele's Rolling in the Deep because apparently the percussion on it matched the percussion of aggressive males. They were banging on trees.

Yeah, right. Because primates have been observed banging on trees but apparently it's purely communication to get across that they're aggressive or that somebody's coming. Right. Yeah, right. Because primates have been observed banging on trees, but apparently it's purely communication. To get across that they're aggressive or that somebody's coming. Right.

Or there's a threat to their little clan. Has somebody told Adele in case she goes on a jungle safari? And she cranks out her kaiser. It's rolling in the deep. Rolling in the deep. Well, unless she takes her drummer at Mike's Fair and acapella. Yeah, right, okay. Which they won't mind. Well, they won't even just be able to. They won't even carecapella. Yeah, right, okay. Which they won't mind.

Well, they won't even just be able to, they won't even care for it. Yeah, right. They won't be able to decipher it from digitally scrambled. And they said this is very interesting in the study of primates that they don't have any appreciation for music. As humans, we do. Yeah.

We really... So it puts your evolution theory out the window, doesn't it? Not at all, no. No, it doesn't. Oh, damn it. It definitely does that, but nice try. Nice try at taking a shot at derailing. Yeah.

That was a really, really good attempt. So today's fact of the day is that chimpanzees do not like music. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch sent me a video on Instagram yesterday. Not in Messenger because you can always go back and find those ones but you see them on Instagram so there's a couple of watches in it and then they're gone for good. Well there's a reason I do that

because then you play these things on the radio. Oh I'll just have to recount it. With a little bit of added decoration from my mind. That was between friends. It only went out to a few friends. I didn't get it did I? No you sent me a separate chat. That's right.

Was it wildly inappropriate? Yes, it was. Well, we've got another break to fill before 9 o'clock, so we can definitely talk about that next. We'll just work it into this conversation. Surprisingly, Megan, who never replies quickly, replied quite quickly. Oh, really? Well, that paints you both in a dark light then.

So you were attaching a new magnet catch on a cupboard. You know those corner kitchen cupboards? That has two panels. Two panels. Yeah, right. And they're always wobbly and they break after like a couple of- Yeah, because there's too much weight on them. I know.

They're stupid. Wiffy little hinges. Yeah. So anyway, so I just lately, I've been shutting that, but it's just been like popping open. Yeah, right. Just like peeking open. And I'll shut it and it'll just like creep back out.

And the latch in there was broken. So I was like, where do you get latches from? And then I'm like, oh, like hardware stores. So I went and I found one and I put it in myself

and it works. The whole latch. It's a bit wonky. It's good from you. What, the latch is wonky or the door's still wonky? I probably could have put it back a little bit

because the door pokes out a little bit. We can do that. Nah, because I've done it now. Screwed it in. You drill holes. Because you know what my dad does if you have to put another hole quite close to another hole

is you fill the first hole with like a matchstick. Oh, yeah. Okay. And it just provides enough structural integrity. Nah, it's done now. You can't tell. I mean, I can because I put it in. But no one will notice.

No one else can. And I was feeling quite like like, real stoked with myself, so I sent Vonna a message. A video of him opening and shutting it saying, level 10 mask. Like, real masculine. Very masculine. Because, you know, this is a problem.

You live in the city. You don't... I've got a handy... You've got a toolbox, but I'm, you know... Yeah. You're not seen as very handy, are you? I received this message while I was taking a moment's reprieve from replacing all the roof nails that we've got with tech screws,

big, booty screws, putting some sealant on there, just trying to add a little bit of longevity to the roof. Just trying to stop your house from leaking. Yeah, yeah, that's a simple thing. Simple thing like a watertight house. And I'd just discovered, Meg, and I had a rotten board, so I had to replace a little thing. It's a little thing like a watertight house. And I just discovered, Megan, I had a rotten board. So I had to replace a rotten board. I had to take a whole panel of the roof off.

I had to cut out all the rot. I then had to cut a new piece of wood to the right length, attach that to the old beams, attach it to other pieces. You've got to stop trying to one-up me all the time. You didn't even need to fix his roof. Did you need to tell him that yesterday when he put a magnet on his door, on his little drawer? A whole catch with a magnet.

Because I sent him a sexy photo. As I finished, I was quite proud because I said to Sade, I'm going to show Megan the photo. I'm going to struggle to get this done before. Are you on the roof? Yeah. Is it like Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? He's like topless on the roof.

No, I'm not topless. So this is the photo he sent. I'm wearing a tool belt, though. This is the photo he sent me. I just bought a tool belt the other day. He said, thispless on the roof. No, I'm not topless. So this is the photo he sent. I'm wearing a tool belt though. This is the photo he sent me. I just bought a tool belt the other day. He said, this is level 10 mask. Hashtag twinks go crazy. You're probably going to lift out the hashtag.

You should put that on Instagram. No, don't. You should put this on Instagram. Let me take another one because I'm not happy with that. Did you do a self-timer? Yeah. Because I was like, really? So I said, shuddy, shuddy.

And you walked away and you did that pose? Yeah. At a wrecking bar. Anya, I'm going to airdrop this to your phone in the social media centre. And if you can put this on our Instagram, FBMZM. Do you know my favourite part? I think it's a great photo. My favourite part is the face.

You're like, yeah. No, no, I was squinting because the phone was falling over as the thing went off. That's why it's on a big tilt. I had it on the right. I had it on a flat angle. The angle, it's like looking up at you. It makes you look powerful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to send it to the group chat. Gazing off in the distance. It wasn't coming up in Bluetooth settings. I don't know why your phone's not discoverable. It's through the window. It won't go through the window. Why window. It won't go through the window. Why not?

I can see through the window. I know, but Bluetooth can't shoot through this double glazing. God, Bluetooth is rubbish. When are we getting a better thing that's not Bluetooth? Yeah. Well, I've seen it on the group chat. That will be up at FMZ. I think this is a great photo.

It doesn't need to go up. No, I'm not overly stoked. I don't have time to. The tool belt's riding up too high. That's what makes it great. Send it to me. I'll put it through like Lightroom or something. No, no.

And you should put it on your. It's going to need more than a Lightroom. I just literally struggled to get some roofing iron back on. Like Sade said, what were you doing whacking the roof? I said, I was celebrating. I was like, yes, yes, yes. Because it all actually didn't go too badly. I was like, yes, yes, yes. Because it all actually didn't go too badly. I was like, yes, he's done it.

And I was so stoked with myself. Okay, Anya has said from the social media centre that that photo is up at our Instagram. She's already up. She didn't even give you a filter. She didn't even give you a friendly filter. That sweaty t-shirt stuck to my man boobies. It's not ideal.

If I'd known it was going public, I would have taken some more time. Is there like a hot tradies calendar for 2020 coming? Because this could be like April. April? Not even a year later. Not even a year later? Like a meh month.

November. Oh, look at that. What have you done? I put a good filter on. Oh yeah, it does look a bit better with a good filter. It's really popped your timbales. Those are my round hands. You'll notice. Did you like my tool? You didn't really say too much about my tool belt

because I talk about buying a tool vest earlier in the week, but I went with the belt. No, yeah. All right, well, you can see that photo, FEMZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Guys, a dream has just come true in studio. We just met a little. we met a kiwi. An actual real life.

A real life kiwi, a one-legged kiwi bird. Yeah. Because we've. So sparky. I've seen one at the zoo in the dark and they're like, it's in there. And you're like, sure it is. I've been in Rotorua to the kiwi breeding centre. Oh yeah.

And it was amazing. When we were at Massey in Palmy, we went to the vet centre and they were looking after some sick ones. The Kiwi had the beak, the broken beak, right? That's right. And they printed a new beak. But that was like through,

yeah, that was through like the cages and stuff. So we couldn't get in because it was like recovering. Yeah. But the Whangarei Native Bird Recovery Centre just popped by and they're doing a little visit, I'm guessing to raise awareness for the work that they do

and this actually Sparky the one legged kiwi actually travels around to a few schools yeah so over the last few years a lot of like kids have actually got to meet

and I guess touch a real kiwi see a kiwi and I like patted it it's pretty weird it's our national emblem and you know our

sort of national bird. Well, it's endangered, isn't it? Yeah, but you never see it, do you? Nah. You can hear them sometimes if you go in bush. Like in the national park, Taranaki, you can hear them in some huts. What noise do they make? They say kiwi, don't they?

Kiwi. It's like a... Yeah, it's kind of like that. Do you Google on... I mean, there's lots of different Kiwis. Yeah, but they have signs and stuff saying they're around, and then you can hear them kind of calling out and stuff. So it's pretty cool.

But yeah, I guess just... What's that face for? It says Kiwi Bird Sound Bird Call recorded at Paganton Zoo. Where's that? Are there Kiwis overseas? Well, they kidnapped them. Can we get them back? I don't know.

Is it sort of a loan program like China has with the pandas? With the pandas, yeah. Yeah, that's what you can hear. It's a bit like a seagull. Yeah, except they don't fly down and steal your chips. Yeah. They walk in and steal your chips. Yeah. They walk in and steal your chips. Yeah.

But yeah, they do an amazing job. The Whangarei Native Bird Recovery Centre. So thank you for the team that brought them in. And I know that if you can help out and you want to help the endangered Kiwis in the work that they do, you can go to their website, nbr.org.nz, not National Business Review.

No. That's Native Bird Recovery. That stands for. And yeah, you can donate there. I didn't tell you this. I'm surprising that I didn't because I know how much of a fan you are of the Ketadu. The Ketadu? I almost got decapitated by a Ketadu the other day.

Oh, really? I was running to get the dog because I thought the dog was going to eat a chicken. Yeah. And I ran around a corner and this Ketadu was doing a low flyover. Like I felt the whoosh from its wings that went over me. It's got a big wing on them. I love the sound they make when they fly. Yeah, they're like whoosh. Same with Tui's when they're getting

because Tui's are like real acrobatic. Yeah. They go churrum and they're like churrum. If you were to compare them to planes, they'd be the fighter jets, wouldn't they? The Tui's. I would compare them to Star Wars.

Oh, okay. Star Wars space vehicles. Yep. The Ketadu would be the Y-Wing. Sort of your bigger mid-class bomber. Okay. And the Tui would be the TIE fighter. That's the one that Darth Vader flies around in.

Oh, okay. Like the vroom, vroom. Ones like that. That's what I do now. I started this, didn't do now I started this didn't I I started this