ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 24 2018

Episode Date: September 23, 2018

Fletch and Vaughan had the best Friday night of their year, Mosh Monday and do you look like your partner?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed.

Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Zed. Z date with the prince. I don't think so. It's too much to lay on a friend.

I've got someone who saw you on a blind date. No, I didn't know it was blind. I thought they knew that they were going on a date with each other. I just thought it was set up. Yeah. Friends were like, go meet this guy. You'll like him. Yeah.

Well, I'll be the judge of that. Prince Harry turns up. She's like, yes. Always wanted to be a princess. Yeah, you're one step closer, aren't you? Somebody's wearing their merch. Yeah, I am. I'm wearing my... I thought we made an agreement.

I thought we said we were both wearing our Cher T-shirts today. Cher's bum is very distracting, actually. Has she got tattoos on her bum? I don't know. There, I don't know if that's tattoos or just a decorative... Right. I put mine in the wash. A temporary tattoo. I said to Sade, don't put that in the dryer.. Right. I put mine in the wash. A temporary tattoo.

I said to Sade, don't put that in the dryer. Because she was putting clothes in the dryer. Oh, it's fabric suicide. Oh, yeah. Why is she doing that for? Why not? She just chucked everything in the dryer.

I said, no, simply no. Give it to you. And I hung it to dry. Oh, look at it. Fits beautifully. Great time. Great time. Team merch. Great time. I think we, yeah, we know you had a Great time. Great time. Had it all. Had my all.

Team merch. Great time. I think we, yeah, we know you had a good time. You watched social media. Yeah. Aware of it.

Yeah, I couldn't. And the fact that Vaughn can't sing. I couldn't re-watch it, but I wouldn't delete it. It was that weird. Does your, does the new iPhone kind of cancel out

everything around? Because my snaps were fine. You couldn't hear my singing. Do you do that classic thumb under the, like, cover the microphone a little bit? I don't know, but I feel like your phone really picked you out. I know, it really did. I was singing in one tone, and it was like, that's the tone we're grabbing. You were quite loud. Because there's a people message back, and it was like, that's the tone we're grabbing. You were quite loud.

Because there's a people message back, oh, my God, the people around you must have had a horrible time with you singing like that. But then Sade said she hardly heard me. Yeah, I don't think. But you sing quietly, Fletch. Like, Fletch would have been back. I had no voice on Saturday. To live without you strong enough.

Yeah, okay, it was like that. Hey, but, you know, sing like no one's watching, eh? Is that what they say? Yeah, listening. Yeah, okay, it was like that. Hey, but you know, sing like no one's watching, eh? Is that what they say? Yeah, listening. Yeah, listening. Well, quite a few people were watching that Instagram story. Final numbers right there. How many messages did you wake up to?

Oh my, like... I was just like, you're never allowed to hassle me for anything ever again after that singing. I woke up with 45 messages in my inbox. Right. And I went back and I answered everyone. I'm like, you're never allowed to hassle me for anything ever again. I think I'm singing. I woke up with 45 messages in my inbox. Right. And I went back and I answered everyone. I'm like, sorry about that. Sorry about that. People are like, it would have been nice to hear Cher.

I said, we should have paid for tickets then, you cheap ass. You didn't. So you got the Cher Vaughan filter. And then I was like, phew, I've answered everybody. Get back to the top. There's 50 more in the little others box. Right. Intern Anya, would you rather hear Vaughn's bad singing on Instagram or Megan's voice she puts on to Andrew and the dog?

Vaughn's singing. I'm so sorry. All right. It's the last time I get to sing. You remember who defends you when these guys are dicks. It's the last time. The last time. I also still don't know all the lyrics.

That was even better. All right. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines for three interesting, weird, unusual news stories that I've found. Vaughn and Megan, you pick one of the following three headlines please and we'll delve into one of these stories.

Headline one, break a leg. That's what they say, isn't it? Break a leg? That's theatrical. Headline two, bananas with extra kick. And headline three, honey oozing from hospital wall. Honey oozing from hospital wall is a beehive. There's some sort of beehive in the walls of the hospital.

Bees have taken up residence. Correct. So we probably don't need to do that one. Two was... Say two again. Bananas with extra kick. Is that bananas with drugs hidden inside them? Mm-hmm.

Story number one. Boom. But do you know that story? The bananas. Were you just guessing? That was just guess. Yeah, okay. From one of the countries that grows bananas, also the sort of climate that lends itself to growing cocaine.

Yeah, they do kind of pair up nicely, don't they? That's exactly right, yeah. Banana and cocaine. The, they do kind of pair up nicely, don't they? They do pair up. That's exactly right, yeah. Banana and cocaine. The tropical country combo. Alright, so break a leg. We go to Shanghai, China, where last Thursday police were running a checkpoint on

an expressway. That's not really where you do a, you might do it at an off-ramp, hey, or an on-ramp to an expressway. But I've never been on a motorway and there's been like a brief... When we were in Thailand, this happened. On a motorway. Well, like a lifted road. Yeah.

Like a full... It would be like... A motorway. In Auckland, the equivalent of when you go over Newmarket, like a viaduct. A flyover. A flyover, yeah. Elevated roading. Well, there's nowhere to get off.

That's why they do it there. And I was like, what's going on? They're like, oh, it's a checkpoint. I was like, in the middle of a motorway? Yeah. Because then the traffic backs up. So does that not cause accidents? Yeah.

They were like, oh, yeah. She'll be right. And then half of it, there was all these cars pulled over on the side of the road. I was like, what are they doing? And they said, oh, they call a taxi. And if they've been drinking, they call a taxi. And then the taxi driver jumps in their car, drives through the checkpoint, pulls over again, then walks back and grabs his taxi and charges them some phenomenal amount of

money to do it. And then they keep on drink driving on the other side. Wow. That's crazy, eh? This breath checkpoint was coming up. And like you say, Vaughn, he did pull over his van and try to wave down a cab. There were no cabs. So he decided to jump over the median barrier, attempting to find his way out of the predicament

and escape law and police authorities, who by this time had seen him and started coming up towards him. So he decided after failing to get a cab that the best thing to do would be to jump down from the overpass where he ended up with a broken leg. That's where police found him, on the ground, underneath the overpass. And it was then that he went to a hospital and they tested him for alcohol in his blood.

Zero. What? Zero alcohol in his blood. Zero. What? Zero alcohol in his blood. Why did he jump off the thing then? They don't know. He had no outstanding warrants. They didn't want to talk to him for any reason. Did they check his car?

There was no dead body in the car? No dead body in the van. Weird. And they're just like, He's just scared of police. Why'd you do that, mate? Yeah, but he's got to be hiding something. I've always thought...

What? Of all the ways to break your leg, jumping off something high and, like, landing... Oh, it'd be horrible. ...would just be so horrible. I mean, breaking your leg's horrible anyway, but... He's lucky that's all he did. Yeah.

I've never, ever broken a bone. And completely sober. Never broken anything. It hurts. Jinx yourself. Yeah. Jinx yourself for it. Yeah, it's so bone. And completely sober. Never broken anything. It hurts. Jinx yourself. Yeah. Jinx yourself for it. Yeah, it's so weird.

You break your arm. Like, when I break my wrist, and I'm like, oh, my God, this is going to look so horrendous on the X-ray. And you get there on the X-ray, and it's just like this crack, and you're like, oh. Oh, did you want to, like,

what's the one where it comes through your skin? A green stick. Compound fracture. Yeah, did you want a compound fracture? No, I did not want one of those, but it hurts so much, you're like, it must be like an inch out. Your wife's real good at Photoshop.

Just get her to Photoshop the X-ray. Like a big crack. Yeah, like a real, or like a lightning bolt crack. She's always disappointed when you're really hurt, but the X-ray doesn't really show how hurt you are. It'd be much better if it did. Yeah. It's about five weeks away from Halloween, right?

It's end of October? Yep. Jeez, that's coming around quick, eh? Yeah, and then once Halloween's done, that's when they get rid of all the Halloween stuff and then Christmas stuff. No, see, that's not... In America, that's true, but in New Zealand, we've already got Christmas stuff, but Halloween

stuff never really hits the heights. Not as big. Nah, not as big here. Yeah. But I feel like every year it gets bigger, all the Halloween stuff. Yeah. I think so. Well, there was a costume for sale that you could have worn for Halloween,

but it's not for sale anymore because it was highly offensive. So there is a Handmaid's Tale. They call it a, like like avoid copyright, I think, Yandy Brave Red Maiden costume. So basically you've got like a red mini dress underneath and then you get like a big cape with a hood red over top. Like they do on Handmaid's Tale. Yeah, except you can kind of see like the mini skirt underneath

and then you get like a little white bonnet. And it is quite expensive. It's almost 100 New Zealand dollars. But it's been pulled because a lot of people have found it very offensive. I would have thought it was a copyright issue rather than being offensive because people know Handmaid's Tale is a work of fiction, right? Yeah, but it's quite... It's what it stands for, I think.

Yeah, I guess. It's the fact, you know, like forced pregnancy. Look, sexy Halloween costumes forever and a day have been treading a very fine line. Nurses, for example, go to work and do some of the kindest, most lovely work that anyone on the planet does and then it gets to Halloween and everyone's like, I'm going out looking like you.

What do you mean? I'm a sexy nurse. It's not what we do. It's what it is tonight. And a police woman. It's never a sexy. Oh, no, there is sexy policeman outfits. I shouldn't say that.

But there's never like a sexy doctor, is there, with like a stethoscope and a G-string? No. I shouldn't say that. But there's never like a sexy doctor, is there? With like a stethoscope and a g-string. No. I don't know. No, you can wear like Oh no, I don't want to. Are you just saying you want more occupations represented in sexy outfits? I'm not necessarily saying that.

Right. But anything with a uniform's probably had a sexy Yeah, right. Version. A sexy version of it. Yeah. So lots of people are saying, let me explain. The Handmaid's Tale is about forced pregnancy. Forced pregnancy and rape aren't sexy.

That's why sexy Handmaid's Tale costumes are offensive. So have they been pulled? They have been pulled. And the company that released the statement has said, over the last few hours it's become obvious that our costume is seen as a symbol of women's oppression rather than expression of women's empowerment. This is unfortunate, as it wasn't our attention on any level.

So, obviously, it's been used a lot recently as, like, during protests. Like, people were dressing up in it for, like, protesting against women, like, for women's rights and things. So, they've said, given the sincere heartfelt response supported by numerous personal stories we received for removing the costume from our website. So you can't be a sexy handmaid anymore. But you can make your own.

I was going to say, you'll have to make your own. Careful. FVM, the podcast. Divorce rates are getting lower and lower. So apparently for the last 25 years, the number of people getting divorced within the first three years of marriage. So it's not only that less people are getting married. This is of people who are getting married.

Within three years, it used to be like really high. I got divorced over two and a half years. But within the first three years of marriage it's dropped by over half in the last 25 years. So apparently the divorce rates peaked at 1993.

That was when we would have heard that stat that like half of people that got married were getting divorced. And now it's dropping. So the number of people who are divorcing after five years has decreased, and that's down by like 39%. What were the late 80s, early 90s like? I was like a kid.

I don't really remember details of it. But like marriage? Yeah. What was going on there that people were flying? Because you don't really hear about that as a particularly loose time, do you? Well, because you always heard about your grandparents or great-grandparents who'd go to the war or they'd be going to war and they'd be like, quick, let's get married.

But then they weren't allowed to get divorced. Yeah. So they had to stay together. Being divorced back then was like, well, no, you won't. You'll be unhappy for the rest of your life because you've rushed into one decision. They were away so like you appreciated them when they came back.

Oh my god you didn't die. Yeah. I'll probably take three to four months to get sick of you now. Yeah. They've actually said that the reason like they think that divorce is getting less is because of equal rights. So women I guess back in the day, were seen to do a lot of the chores.

And so it was a lot of women who were filing for divorce because they just couldn't deal with it anymore. Like they obviously felt like they were doing all the chores, you know, like separate roles in the household, whereas now everyone kind of shared responsibility as a contributing factor. Do you also think like in this day and age, it's also more acceptable for women

to decline a proposal? I don't know. I don't know. How do you continue if you, I've always wondered that, if someone proposes and you say no. Oh no, you'd straight break up. So I'm imagining people would be like,

will you marry me? I'd be like, no. And they'd be like, oh, okay, this is where we're heading. And you'd go your separate ways. But back in the day, would it have been women were too scared to say no? Because what if no one else asked? Or had been conditioned to say yes because this was every little girl's dream to get married.

Yeah. And focus more on that. And so the yes would happen and then, yay, we're married. And oh, my God, what have I done? Yeah. Rather than saying no at the stage of the proposal. And not only divorces. So the people who aren't getting married. So in 2015, the marriage rate for opposite sex couples was the lowest on record.

So people aren't getting married, like just quite happy to coexist together. But yeah, of those who are getting married, less divorces. I mean, you don't need to get married these days. You still get half their stuff after two or three years, don't you? Yeah. Is there tax benefits? To being married? Yeah.

I'm not seeing any. I think the money... If there are... If there are... They tax you at Kmart. Oh, yeah, the Kmart tax. You get Kmart tax. Yeah, rearrange Kmart and you can definitely spell tax. Not tax. No, there's no X in Kmart tax. Well, yeah, rearrange Kmart and you can definitely spell tax.

Not tax. No, there's no X in Kmart. I'll use a K. Right. I'll use the K. You know, Honey Badger's becoming a household name with the Bachelor Australia. It's because of his chat, eh? He's got good banter.

It's not everyone's cup of tea aesthetically. Well, it's either his chat or his blonde man's moustache. I'm not a fan of the moustache. If he got rid of the moustache, it would be better. What about the natural perm? Oh, I'm okay with that. You're all right with the ringlets? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all good. I think he's, I've in the past wanted not particularly to like him, but he's very likeable. He's very likeable. He's very likeable, honey badger. So is your wife watching this? Not really. She sees clips online.

Okay. I think she'll watch all the clips that get put online, but I don't think she's ready to. Yeah. Are you watching it, Megan? No, because, yeah, I was the same. I was like, I don't really like that dude. But then from everything I've seen online...

He's very likeable. He's very likeable. But I don't think my wife's really after Love Island. She's like, she's still weaning herself off that addiction. You're watching it. You and the boyfriend watching The Bachelor. Yeah, we love it. We absolutely love it.

We love him. Love Osher, who's the host. Love it all. Osher? Osher. Mm-hmm. Osher Gordon's Berg. We love him. Love Osher, who's the host. Love it all. Osher? Osher. Osher Gunzberg. Okay. Yeah.

That sounds like something you'd hear about learning about World War II. Osher Gunzberg. He's a bit of a babe too. Well, it's not the Australian Bachelor that created headlines around the world at the weekend. It's the Vietnamese Bachelor. Oh, okay.

The Bachelor Vietnam had something that hadn't happened before. During the rose ceremony, one of the contestants got given the rose, but she said, I don't want this rose, and turned to the panel of other Bachelor contestants and said, I want

you, and pointed to one of the other girls and said, I've fallen in love with you. I want to be with you. Leave this show with me. She'd be perfect for Brie and Clint's bisexual life. Yeah. Yeah. Because obviously she went on the show because she

was looking for, well, interested in a guy. But what did the girl say? Did she say yes? She's like, this is awkward. Yeah, she's come Yeah Cut to the ads Yeah I think it was an ads cut situation She didn't go with her I don't think That happened on New Zealand

Well two of the contestants had a pay-a-shay In Bachelor New Zealand But then was that just like a drunken thing Well they do have a few Yeah Drinkies at those rose ceremonies But I don't think they're wasted Yeah Okay Well From what I heard about the New Zealand one Yeah. Drinkies at those rose ceremonies. But I don't think they're wasted. Yeah.

Okay. Well, from what I heard about the New Zealand one, they quite like them to be tipsy. Well, any of those shows. Yeah. I mean, you get people drunk and there's a bit of drama. That's when you get the emotions going, don't you? Yeah.

Yeah. So I don't know where you can watch the Vietnamese Bachelor. Is it? I don't think that's on TVNZ On Demand. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm keen to watch would they if you're watching online though would they have subtitles yeah yeah maybe they're not gonna make you learn vietnamese to enjoy the vietnamese bachelor no but i mean like if they

broadcast it in vietnam they're not gonna have subtitles are they oh i know all the clips i'm seeing here in front of me on this news story i've got. Oh, good. Okay. Subtitles, yeah. Yeah. Small though. I like a large white subtitle. But with a black border, this is a small yellow subtitle with a shadow, not a border on each letter. What, like a karaoke machine? A little bit karaoke machine. Right, okay. But not a big bold white font.

Okay. So The Bachelor Vietnam. That's the one to watch. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. White font. Okay. So The Bachelor Vietnam. That's the one to watch. Today's top six deals with a very cute story. This is happening in America. A man, he's a retired teacher. He's 75 years old.

One day he visited a pet sanctuary, Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary. So I believe this is not a cat cafe. I believe it's more like a casual place where you can adopt the cats. Oh, yeah, okay. So it's like an open plan SPCA. Right. Rather than them having their own little offices. Yeah.

They're all mingling together, all these cats. So he visited one and he said, I want to pat the cats and brush the cats. No. Okay. And he went in and he sat on one of the big couches and he started patting a cat and he fell asleep. And now he pretty much goes back every day. He pops in to pat the cats.

And sleep. And he falls asleep on all the different couches. How old was this guy? 75. Oh, bless. It's a real napping age. Yeah. I remember in my grandad's, you sit down at 75, you start.

Pretty quick. It's because they don't sleep well at night. No. Why not? They won't sleep well lying down in a bed purpose-made for their sleeping, yet they'll sleep anywhere else. Like an uncomfortable-looking chair in a semi-slouched position i don't get it uh so he's they took some photos of him because they thought it was so cute and they said to him is it right if we put these on our facebook page

and website and they said yep and so it kind of went a little bit viral and now the cat sanctuary is getting lots of donations they've had more more than $45,000 New Zealand dollars in donations since this kind of got out there. Terry is his name. Tessar. Terry. And it's a non-profit cat sanctioned adoption centre. And he's like, oh, I just went in to pet the cats and, you know, just fell asleep,

found myself quite at ease there. It's nice that they're making some money. So the top six places to visit for a nap is today's top six. Okay. Number six, the library. Pretty quiet. Very quiet, yeah.

Pretty quiet. Also, my local library has beanbags. Oh, okay, yeah. And there's not like a sign saying, please restrict your time in beanbags to 15 minutes. So you can just sleep until closing time at the library. What time's that? It varies.

They have a late night. Do they? It's not good if you're a snorer, though, because you've got to be quiet. Yeah, you probably can't be snoring in any of these places, really. Number five on the list of the top six places for a quiet nap visit, the work toilets. Get one of the big ones with that little symbol of a person having a sit down on the door.

Good room to stretch out and get your nap on in that one. What are you lying on the floor? No, on the seat. You put the seat down. You wipe it and stuff first. Oh, yeah. You're not a grub. You're not a grub.

Get a nice little snooze in. Yeah, our work toilets, like you're picturing our work toilets, not a great place for a nap. When you know there's skid marks in the bowl next door. There's always skid marks in our toilet. Who's using the toilets in this building and we're all adults. No children work here. Number four on the list of the top six

places to visit for a nap, church. But it's got to be one of those old school hymns and prayers churches, not the clappy, yelly, fainting and loud singing type churches. Oh no, they'll wake you up. They'll wake you up. Very hard to sleep through all that jazz. Catch 22, though, the old school types of churches have those uncomfortable chairs, pews, the wooden pews.

But if you find an empty row and lie flat, maybe. I'd just push two together, turn one around and make a head. Oh, yeah, okay. Those are big, though. You'd have to have a fair bit of strength to move a whole pew. And you can wake up Halfway through For a wine and a wafer

So that's always a good way To break up a nap What kind of wine Is it? Is it a Pinot? Red wine Central Otago Pinot Probably a Cab Sav

Because if it's a Pinot I might actually Finally start going to church Nah Is it frowned upon to ask Yeah Can you just take A couple of bottles?

Yeah what vintage Are we talking here? What is this? Is it house Or are we talking here? What is this? Is it house or are we like going? It's Merlot, wasn't it? You've cheaped out again.

You've got a cask, haven't you? Oh, they would. It would be cask. It would be cask. Yeah, okay, I'm not going to church. Number three,

that's the only reason. Number three, the rest of it. Number three in the top six places to visit for a nap, the hairdressers. Oh.

Or a barber's. Or a barber's. Or a barber's for the Ball Brothers. All the time. And you know how you fall asleep when you do that twitch? Yeah.

I always try and pretend my arm slipped off the side. I'm like, oh, whoopsies. They know. What if they're about to cut your fringe or something? Yeah, I don't know.

They're never buying that either. Right. Get into that comfy ass seat, get your hair washed, have a head massage, maybe have your head touched by some boobies. I knew you were

going to say that. Who doesn't love that? That's Vaughan's favourite memory of when he had a haircut. Yeah. And I stopped having haircuts when I was 20.

Like teenage Vaughan was very excited to get some boobs on the back of his head. Very excited. I know. And now I'm in my, in the years

I could have appreciated it for more than just what it was. Yeah. Have you asked your, the bed guy to put his like hard chest against your head? His boobies against you. It's just not the same.

Not the same. It's just not the same. Oh, okay. You drift off to nun eyes land right there in the barber's chair. Number two on the list of the top six places to visit for a nap, a park.

Have you had to sleep under a tree lately? Gosh darn, that's good stuff. But what do you do with your handbag? Like wrap it around your leg? You use it as a pillow. Oh, okay. And you wrap it around your arm. Yeah, good point.

So if someone grabs your pillow and pulls it, they'll start pulling you too. Weather has to be on your side. And as a word of warning, go to a park that's dog on leash only. You don't want to wake up to being humped by a Labrador. Yeah. And the number one place to visit for a nap is a furniture store. Take your jammies, test that bed. Or just be like I was that time and be waiting for your wife to pick a couch

and be tired and lie on a bed and accidentally shake your eyes. And wake up and be like, how long was I asleep for? And have people looking at you. These things happen when you get up really early in the morning. These things happen. That's today's early in the morning. These things happen. That's today's top six. FM. Producer James,

it was his birthday. He said, happy birthday. Oh, thanks, mate. How old were you yesterday? 26. Very insignificant. You know, 25.

That's, you get your man D. Don't you? Is that some stage? At 26. Wow, no, I'm 36. I'm still waiting. I was bloody waiting, yeah.

Yeah, I know. You might be waiting for another decade, I reckon. I'm still waiting. I was bloody waiting, yeah. Yeah, I know. You might be waiting for another decade. Still waiting. From anybody's litmus test. Waiting for that to kick in. I don't think it might be mythical. But one thing you did share with us on your birthday, it wasn't like a cake or anything,

but you sent through to the group chat the weekly flat shop. We've talked about James' weekly flat shop. It's a mystery to us how they do it. Yeah, I know. They all put in $40 a week and then they eat like kings and queens. With ice cream.

Yeah, ice cream included in the flat shop for $40 a week. Yeah, I don't know how it works and it always seems to come up when I talk to people they're like, how do you let them get away

with having that on the flat shop? And we just think, well, if they want it, they can eat it, you know. People buy muesli bars and some of the... Luxuries.

Yeah, like some Greek yogurt goes on it or something like that and we're like, yeah, it's all good. Your flat should run some sort of budgeting workshop.

We should actually, yeah. Like you should just tour the country teaching people to budget. I mean... Well, the flatmate that runs our accounts, he's in banking

so we're like, sweet man, this is your job. He's fraudulent. But you also have the most chill bunch of flatmates like everyone's like

it's all good like who there's always one person and even when you say there's a flavour of ice cream you're like alright that's alright I'll just get one

I like when I get my flat I'll be like oh no no no I mean probably but the only thing that someone kicks off about is if something's gone

very quickly because we have like we have seven people in our flat, so the food that we get, like, it can be gone in, like, two days. So this item that you sent us through yesterday, I had no idea it existed. You didn't know it existed. It's a game changer.

Absolute game changer. Tell everybody what you've discovered now for the flat shop. It wasn't in your normal sort of areas. It was in one of those little kiosk chillers that you find right in the middle of the aisles. Yeah. So you know it's always going to be something special, a limited edition. Yeah. normal sort of areas. It was in one of those little kiosk chillers that you find right in the middle of the aisles. So you know it's always going to be something special in a limited edition. But we discovered a one kg tub of straight hummus.

Straight hummus? Who needs a kg? Is that a bucket of hummus? It is huge. It's like, I don't know what you'd even... Like a sand bucket. Yeah. Like you take to the beach, you build a sand castle.

It almost would be. That much of hummus. That much. And it's like, you know, right to the top because normally we'd get, you know,

just the small, I don't know how much is in a full tub. Having hummus on the flat shum's a mind-blowing thing. I know that's a luxury item. I know, a KG of hummus.

We run a lot of it. We're like sandwiches or like afternoon tea for like, you know, some rice crackers and straight into it. You dip carrots in it as well.

It's very versatile. Oh, it's super versatile. But do you need a KG of it? Well, exactly. We have seven people in our flat, so it's gone by Wednesday. If we get one of those small tubs, like everyone's like seven sandwiches, crackers and everything, gone by Wednesday. So we see this and we're like, we have to do it.

Like we have to give it a go at least. But is everybody just going to say this is a challenge now and they're going to up their hummus and tell you? Well, hey, we get home after the flat shop and everyone is just straight do it. Like, we have to give it a go at least. But is everybody just going to say this is a challenge now and they're going to up their hummus in tubs? Well, hey, we get home after the flat shop and everyone is just straight into it.

Let's try this. Let's get involved. A kg of hummus. But even in our house, if we get one of those moderately sized tubs of hummus and halfway through

you're like, I've had enough hummus for today. And then the next time you get it out, it's started to dry up. Well, I think everyone's into it so much

it doesn't get that crust on the top. It doesn't get a chance to crust. It's going to be in the fridge for another half hour or so before someone else is getting in there into some hummus. So it'll be interesting to see how it goes. If it last past Wednesday, which I hope it does, it's going KG. We need hummus tub updates.

Yeah. I just need to draw a line every time and just see how far we go down. I almost weigh it every day and then work out how many grams of hummus you're getting through per day. I'm a big fan of bulk buying, though. Yeah. Because, you know, if you can get a deal, do it.

Especially with seven people, bulk buying is huge for us. You know, like we'll go to a butcher or something like that and get like the one kg of like sausages or something like that. Because you need it it for sure. But the 1kg hummus was a game changer. You're getting the Catholic family pack. That's feeding so many. I remember when I was a kid, it used to blow my friends' minds.

They'd come to our house and my mum never bought a small thing of clothes washing powder. We always bought it by the sack. Oh, the big tub of it, yeah. No, no, it was like a 40kg sack of cold water soup. Like a big sack of spuds, but it's got a lot of cheese powder. I'd be like, what's in that? I'd be like, it's cold water soup or whatever was on the outside.

They'd be like, where do you get that from? I was like, I don't know, mum's just always got it. We've always just got this abundance. And when it was getting towards the bottom of the bag, mum really started to panic. Ian, next time we're in town, we might run out. I'm like, there's still about four kgs left in the bottom. I don't think there's any reason to panic.

But I just never knew it any other way. And now buying the small one seems crazy. I had to talk myself out of a kg of chia seeds yesterday because it was $25. It's like a quarter of a hundred. Well, because we have chia seeds for breakfast every morning. You know how to live. No, Megan. Megan, seeds for breakfast every morning. You know how to live. No, Megan.

Megan, it's a slippery slope. You don't need a kg of chia seeds in the house. What are you, a bird? You know what you get like? One dad's a teaspoon of chia seeds, next day it'll be a tablespoon of chia seeds. You won't know when to stop yourself. Chia seeds are a gateway seed.

Next thing you know, you'll be getting pumpkin seeds, pepitas. Don't want all of that. Sesame seeds. Oh, no, you didn't. Sesame seeds. Sunflower seeds. All right. I'm out of seeds.

What other seeds can you eat? Oh, you went pumpkin, eh? I did pepita. Yeah, pepita, yeah. Pepita. Yeah, I'm out too. You're out of seeds. All right.

Well, luckily. Well, I didn't buy the chia seeds. Poppy seeds. Poppy seeds. They're a dangerous one. They're a roll of the dice. They're out of seeds, all right. Well, luckily. Well, I didn't buy the chia seeds. Poppy seeds. Poppy seeds. They're a dangerous one. They're a roll of the dice. They get in your teeth, don't they? Yeah, they are dangerous.

Well, I'd like to know what you didn't know came in bulk. Like, we've learnt this morning that James' KG of hummus didn't know it came in bulk. KG of chia seeds from old dangerous Dave over the other side of the desk there who takes all sorts of risks. So what, you want to hear of people's bulk purchases? Yeah, because, I mean, there's always been the things that come in bulk.

Like everybody's mum got a KG of margarine in the 90s. She was like, well, you kids just take it easy. This is going to last us a week. No, and a year later it's still there and not old. It hasn't aged. Not a sign of ageing from the KG. Like the plastic it's in starts to age quicker than the actual margarine itself. So yeah, what didn't you know came in bulk until you made the bulk purchase?

Alright, 0800-DARLS-ZM-9696. 13 past 7, ZM. FEM. We're talking about what you didn't know came in bulk. What you didn't know, for example, producer James's flat has purchased a 1kg tub of hummus. Some have said too much hummus. Some have said, where do I get these from? Some have said, that's just the right amount of hummus.

I mean, technically, if you can buy it in the supermarket, it should be in bulk somewhere, right? But it's just that sometimes you don't have access to this, the everyday person. But maybe the one kg of hummus, it's not been in one kg lots because that's way too much hummus. Because how much hummus could you eat? You know?

It's like, I'll buy those little tubs and then they go manky after a couple of days. You have it and then it goes crusty around the top. Yeah, yeah. So maybe they've worked out, but then there's a cage of it now, so what do we know? Yeah, Tracy, what didn't you know came in bulk? What have you got?

Hi, guys. We bought five kilos of golden syrup. Why? It was reduced to clear store. It was only $26. But when do you even need golden syrup, apart from if you're making hokey pokey? If I made your hokey pokey, yeah, yeah.

We weren't really sure what we were going to do with it, but we went for a shot and we found it. We're like, okay, well, that's a really good deal. And we're real bargain hunters in our flat, so. But what did you use it for? Because, like, if you make pancakes, like Because if you make pancakes, it's not as good as maple syrup. Oh, no, no, no. Well, we have a chef

that lives in our house, so we threw a few of flat parties and the next morning we just cooked waffles and pancakes and everybody that came to the party had to have some syrup before they went home. Because you've got it there, why not? And how much of the 5kgs do you

reckon you've got left? We've eaten it all. Oh, it's gone. Oh my lord. Wow. Okay, so would you do that again, or? Probably not with syrup. See, I googled golden syrup recipes, and it told me to make golden syrup.

And then I googled, what do I make with golden syrup? And it's like, how do you make golden syrup? I'm like, no, no, what do I make? No one wants me to be able to make anything with golden syrup. No, hokey pokey and put it on pancakes. That's about it, eh? Thanks, you're cool. Tracy, Andy, how much peanut butter did you buy in bulk?

2.4 kilos. Oh, jeez. What does 2.4 kilos of peanut butter even look like? It's big. It's like Oh, jeez. What does 2.4 kilos of peanut butter even look like? It's big. It's like a massive white bucket. And it, yeah. How often, how would you, how long would it take you to go through that? Well, usually we were buying like a kilo of tax peanut butter.

And we'd pump through that about like one every week. So we should probably up our size, but it didn't work out. I think it lasted 10 days is all your flat or house eats peanut butter sandwiches it was just me and my partner wow i think i mean we're gonna wow that's a problem i love how you're like oh we need to up our peanut butter up our jar not, not, like, reduce your intake. Yeah, kind of bit ridiculous at that point. I mean, when what you're spreading on sandwiches and dipping celery into leaves the glass jar range where they can only house it in a large white bucket,

that's when I think you've got to start questioning your choices. Andy, thanks for your call. Ah, some text messages in. Our flat bought a 10kg box of Ben & Jerry's peanut butter ice cream. Got through a solid 7kgs of it before everyone was sick of the sight of it. Is that like what you'd have at a dairy or one of their stores? Yeah, one of those big cardboard boxes full of ice cream. Would you get sick of it?

I mean, like I'd get sick of a kg of hummus, but I don't know if I'd get sick of that. You need variety in your ice cream, don't you? Yeah, you do. I don't even think I could fit that in my little fridge freezer. I don't think I would fit in your standard fridge freezer. We've got the same freezer, Megan. Fridge freezer. That's right.

Megan copied my fridge. You copy everything. My TV, my fridge, freezer. I've had my fridge for nearly three years, Megan. How long have you had yours? Like six months. Copycat. She?

She's single white female-ing me. She is. It's disgusting. She is. And you got like-ing me. She is. It's disgusting. She is. And you got like a... No, but then she gets my TV, but she's got a Netflix app on the TV and I don't. Oh, she's got a new one. And Spotify. She's better single white female-ing you.

Yeah, she's getting the local... I'm like a Fletch update. Somebody said we bought a KG of cinnamon sticks. It was three shoeboxes of cinnamon sticks. Yuck. What boxes of cinnamon sticks yuck what do you do with that like quills like yeah yeah and then you can you grind those down oh okay so but then who needs two shoe boxes full of cinnamon powder i wouldn't say no because it would go off does it nah i guess you could use it in your breakfast a lot of cinnamon a lot of cinnamon

i was just actually seeing that text they I started googling, how do you grow cinnamon? Looks quite simple. Expect sometime soon to Vaughan Smith to have a lot of cinnamon. Or just go and buy a dollar packet, you tight ass. Some other text messages in. We bought a 25kg bucket of

mayonnaise. That's not good for your waist. Does it have to go on the fridge? It does, right? Like once you've opened it, it's got to go on the fridge. Once you've opened it, yes. I don't even know if you... But the mayonnaise, the best foods mayonnaise at the supermarket lives on the shelf, not on the fridge.

It's not opened. So when you've got to open it, you've got to worry about it. I reckon it could live on the shelf. I mean, it's not exactly like it's... Somebody said, in order to try to save money, I ordered protein powder in bulk. I thought, a 10kg bag of protein powder, how big could that be?

It looked like a sack of cement when I got home in the career and dropped it off. God, you'd want to make sure you'd try that to make sure it wasn't manky. Oh, yeah. Because Megan,

you bought that big tub. I bought that cappuccino and I regret it. That was a silly, silly idea. We did say at the time, we did say don't buy the cappuccino flavour. Always get vanilla.

Now, old Aunty Megan was like, no, no, I'll have a cappuccino. I love a cappuccino. You need one of my cinnamon quills to dust on the top. You'll be sorted. So Saturday night, I Fletch doesn't understand this. I embarked on a journey down to Hamilton because I

was supporting my nutritionist, my personal trainer, Yaz. I hope she doesn't mind me talking about this. Too late now. She competed in a bodybuilding competition. And so I was like, I have never ever been or like even dabbled in the bodybuilding scene.

Like I know nothing about it, but she was competing for her first one ever. She was a novice. And so I thought I'd go down and support her. Boy, it was really something. So first of all, it was in Destiny Church. So they must rent out that church for like, for events or functions or something.

For money? Yeah. Oh yeah, for money. And then that's the Destiny Church way. For money. It was quite bizarre going into the church. So there was so many

men, I mean the women's categories are much smaller, there's not as many women doing it, but there was so many men, like absolute what's a nice word for that? Units. Units.

Like huge muscles. And like, it was really something to behold. But I haven't you found respect for these people because I would always be like, oh yuck muscles, oh yuck. But like, it's quite an undertaking. So in her final week, she had to drink eight litres of water. A day? A day. No. Because that's not enough

over a whole week. And what was she eating? So like meat and veggies. Like no carbs in the lead up. But like a lot of people were messaging me saying this is bad because people starve themselves. Well, she wasn't. She's a nutritionist. She knows what she's doing. She's eating meat and veggies and stuff.

And then the day before, they cut back their water, so obviously their muscles show. I find it so disgusting. I'm just going to say it. I do. Explain. Why do they go so orange? That I don't understand. This is the thing.

Once I've gone now, I understand it more because we sat beside these people. We would have driven them nuts because we're like, why are they doing that? Why are they doing that? So the orange tan is so you can see the muscles more because there was a few people that got up on stage and hadn't had their full tan.

It's not working for Donald Trump. He doesn't have any muscles. The muscles don't stand out. It shows his double chins. When you don't have as much of a tan on with the lights and everything on stage, you can't see the muscles as well. It shows the definition. Why orange?

Why not a darker? I think it's just the shade that they've gone with over the years. Someone was saying they're only allowed certain types of brand of orange or tan, aren't they? It's a certain tan that you're allowed. Yeah, it's certain. Like, you have to have a very specific tan. Really? Yeah, a very specific bikini.

It's so weird. I mean, actually, they're on to what you want. Whatever makes you happy, but it's weird. When you think about it, you're like, oh, yuck, that's weird or whatever. But they're athletes. It's a testament to training. It's like running a marathon or something. Yeah, you want to see if you can do it.

They put in an insane amount of effort. Yeah. But. You want to see if you can do it. They put in an insane amount of effort. Yeah. But. You want to see if you can like really do it. Do they have like snacks for sale? So this is the other thing. There was like a cafeteria because all the people there were obviously like in a bodybuilding, in the bodybuilding scene.

So like lots of people were drinking water and stuff. There was a cafe. Was there just that constant sound of like a protein shaker going with that little ball thing rolling around in it to separate the lumps? No, but the organiser gave me a shaker at the end and I like gave it away. I was like, oh, someone else can have this. Hey, love, you want a shaker? No, thanks. Go on, take a shaker.

No, I'm good. No, but there was a cafe and they like, you could smell fries. But no one. Oh, that's torturous. No one was eating fries. And so halfway through, Andrew, my husband, was like, oh, no, stuff this. We'd have bought some fries.

Me and him are drinking Coke Zero, eating fries. Literally the only people there eating or drinking. And everyone was looking at us. But I tell you what, I have a newfound respect for those people. Like pure athletes. It's insane. I've seen it before and the dedication to it's insane. It's certainly not something I could do. No, because I like donuts.

Me too. Chippies, chocolates. They're great. Yeah, they're also good. Biscuits. Big fan. Fried chicken. Yummy.

Yeah. Yeah. All the stuff they went on. I did take a Krispy Kreme down for Yaz, which she smashed after the show. Did you see her eat it? No, I didn't. She threw it in the bin. No, she would have eaten it for sure.

She probably would have been sick afterwards though. But she won, right? So she won her class and she won overall as well. So she goes through the next round? The Nationals, yeah. Do you have to go to that too? Don't say it so negative. Flesh doesn't understand the concept of travelling to support a friend.

Okay, Megan was offered free share tickets. I wasn't going to say that because I didn't want to make her feel bad. Fletch. You want advice on how to look good in a bikini, you go and see 72-year-old Cher. She can do a five-minute plank. There's been a study that looks into the leisure activities that make us most happy. And there is an interesting correlation between screen time and happiness.

Now, it's not unhappy people are using computers and technology more. It's people who are using more technology are coming away unhappy. So this includes like computers, phones, TV, everything. You're saying anything that's got a screen. The more screen time you have. What does it mean if you're using two screens at once? Extra

unhappy. Wow! Okay. So you're watching TV but you're on your phone and your partner's wants attention. At the weekend we were watching a movie and but you're on your phone, and your partner's trust wants attention. Oh, I know. At the weekend, we were watching a movie, and Sade was on her phone. And she's like, what's that?

And I was just like, nah, stop it. I was like, you choose. One or the other. I'm not doing both. Says you. I know, but I must be a rare species, because if I'm on my phone, I can still follow the movie 100. I know but you don't feel like, if you're sitting there with

someone who's watching their phone, you don't feel like you're watching it with them. Oh no, you're talking to the wrong guy. Because you're not engaged in the same thing as I am. I am also really good at when I'm on my phone and the kids ask me questions, I can answer them. Right. Like, Dad, what's blah blah blah. I know but

what about? But she can't, she's like it just turns off, I can answer them. Right. Like, Dad, what's blah, blah, blah. I know, but what about... But she can't. She's like, it just turns off. Eyes on the screen. Do you like pause and give them eye contact and you're like attention? Or do you just like answer while looking at the screen? No, I go, which one are you? Susan. I don't know. What do you want? Shouldn't you be at school or something? Dad, it's Saturday.

Go to school. So, adults over the age of 30 are less happy than they were 15 years ago. And adults are having sex less frequently. Because you're on their phones and laptops. Basically, it means less face-to-face time with people, including their partners. Less sex, less happiness. You know in the movies or TV shows where people are in the bed

and maybe they're starting to get frisky. And then one of their phones go. And the light's off and there's always way too much light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we need to be able to see. We've got to be able to see it. Yeah, but it's not at a noise because it's not realistic. When I turn the lights off in my room, it's pitch black.

I know, but then how do we see? I don't think any of these TV houses don't have curtains. If they always go to sleep with their curtains open, it's like, what? Why have you got curtains? It's going to be a street light. It annoys me so much. I'd rather just see a black screen and hear them talking.

So when that happens, when the lights get turned off, but it's still very light, more of a blue light than it was a yellow light, then they start getting a little bit frisky and one of their phones go. They always check it. I wouldn't check my phone. And then you see people have even heard about checking it during.

Yeah, that's weird. Like just making a little check. Who would? How bored are you that you're just like, oh, well, I'll just go on Facebook and scroll through the feed. Also, I would hit the roof. I'd be like, is that more interesting than what's happening right now? I would say if you can't

not look at that for the 30 seconds it takes me to go from start to end of what I'm in the middle of, I'm beginning to think you're addicted. But maybe that's the thing,

you're not checking your phone because you know you'll be done in the next 90 seconds. Maybe you spent your whole life for that moment, Vaughan. Me? Yeah. I know.

I know. And like guys in general, isn it you're like oh life is leading to that moment you think about it every 30 seconds it's our only purpose it is literally the only reason we're here everything is here to procreate or at least do the stuff that feels like it yeah that comment on Instagram better be worth it. Exactly. What are they checking it? So, yeah, I don't know. Goodness me.

So what are they saying? Does it put the screens down? Put the screens down. It even counts for like young people who are like, the more homework you do and like spending time writing or anything that's not involving a screen, you'll be more happy, even if it's like writing an essay. What about my Kindle?

Because that's a book, but it's a screen. That's different, eh? But it's not backlit. Always blows my mind, those Kindles, how you're outside in the bright light, but you can still read them. What's going on there? It's because it's not backlit.

Yeah, I know. What's going on there? It is magic. It's pretty amazing, eh? And no glare. Yeah, I know, I know. How do you do it? I don't know.

I don't know. Like, what is it behind it? I don't know. I don't know. Like, what is it behind there? I don't know. I don't know. Bad joke. Yeah. Might have to, this is going to be a wormhole because I'm going to go home and get on a screen to work out how those screens don't look like screens.

And then Shade is going to be like, how about it? And I'll be like, do you know how a Kindle works? And she'll be like, forget about it. She's not going to be like, how about it? Nah, she wouldn't be how about it. Friday night, Fletch and I, along with my mother-in-law and my lovely wife, went to Cher's show at Spark Arena. We've been looking forward to this for a very long time.

Your mother-in-law tapped in late because Laura, our friend Laura, couldn't make it. So she said, oh, well, she was supposed to be coming up to look after the kids, and then she heard there was a ticket and she's like, find them another one. I'm coming to sure. So we went to Fletcher's for an Aperol Spritz. Hit the drinks, Trolley.

A couple of gins and we're ready to go, Megan. Ready to go. And so off we went. We went to the merch van. That's where I got my t-shirt from. Is it too obscene to wear just around? I don't know. I thought about that when I was driving to work in it today.

I was like, is it? I mean, I'm not offended. And Cher put herself on this t-shirt and it's official Cher merchandise. Cher's derriere. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. She'll do an Instagram poll. Like, should you be able to wear that in public? Is it appropriate to wear it in... Oh, but if anyone listens to this show, she'sriere. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. She'll do an Instagram poll,

like should you be able to wear that in public? Is it appropriate to wear it in... Oh, but if anyone listens to this show, it's just going to say, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. For progressive people. Do a poll on a church Facebook page and then take your answer.

Is it appropriate to lead the Sunday school work? Yeah. Sure. So I guess that's kind of what we want to talk about next. We walked into the arena And gay energy I would say High gay energy Yeah

There was a A lot of Gay people in the crowd Straight people as well BGE Old people Because she's 72 Big gay energy

Yeah Big gay energy Yeah it was It was kind of aged And a lot Then the audience Would be a lot of gay A lot of aged

Yeah audience And you guys fit into Aged All of the above. That night I fell in like an honorary gay person. Without, you know. Oh no, no, no, no. I didn't mean without

that. I just meant without, you know, just giving myself that title. This is what I want to talk about next. So we went and we found our seats. We sat down and when we were walking in, there were our seats. And my mother-in-law was right on the end and there was a woman sitting there. And the first thing this woman said to my mother-in-law without knowing anything about her,

she said, are you normal? And my mother-in-law. What does that mean? Exactly. My mother-in-law said, I'm. Look at James. He can't believe it. What does that mean?

This woman has never met us. We are literally no words were said at all. Not, hi, how are you? Good evening. Are you excited for the gig? Can't wait. Are you normal? And like, didn't look happy.

Like, because everybody there was quite excited. The anticipation. Well, the DJ beforehand was, he really knew how to get a crowd revved. And everybody's super excited. This is a woman, as we said, 72. She's been in the entertainment industry for like 50, 60 years. Yeah. Killing it. So, everybody's super excited. This is a woman, as we said, 72. She's been in the entertainment industry for like 50, 60 years. Yeah. Killing it.

So everybody's very excited. The first words out of this woman's mouth, are you normal? To which my mother-in-law says, I beg your pardon? She said, are you normal? Because on the other side of my husband, they're just loud gays. And my mother-in-law said, oh, well, we'll probably be loud because we're excited. And she said, that's not the problem.

Are you kidding me? Roman was quite taken back. I said, what's wrong? And she said, this woman just asked me if I'm normal because there's gays on the other side of them. I was like, I see there's gays everywhere. I'm so angry. I know.

We were just like, what are you, like, what is her problem? I couldn't believe it because it passed down, like, the line, Charlie's Whispers, and I just thought, I cannot believe they just said that. Yeah, and so Robin was like, oh, what's the problem with that? And she said, oh, they're all over my husband or whatever. And I looked and they weren't even looking at this guy who was three out of ten max given that he was homophobic.

It's a straight one out of ten. And that's just the lowest you can get otherwise. Yeah, it's like rate yourself, mate. Like nobody's even. I wish these people weren't paying him any attention. There were like three or four dudes over there having the time of their life. There were three or four dudes in front of them that were having the time of their life.

And these people, they just decided they were going to let their night be ruined because of their prejudice to somebody's sexual preference. It blew my mind. But I was like, I'm not going to let them ruin our night. No. So we just decided to be as flamboyant and that's probably why I was singing so loudly

in my Instagram stories, but let's not talk about that. Well, that's the thing I would have had to hold back not having a go at it because then you just feel negative the whole show. I know, that was the thing. That was the better approach. We all decided just,

if they were going to be miserable, they were going to be miserable by themselves. And then the share started. Everybody stood up. They weren't, they just sat. And they didn't stay. They didn't stay for the whole show. They left before the end.

And I was like, good, good riddance, bad energy. They left. Why would they leave? Didn't like the BGE. The Big Gay Energy Movement turned up for them. But you're going to a Cher concert. Like, what are you expecting? Yeah.

Just embrace it. Like, they're having so much fun. Who doesn't? And no one cares about you. Like, it's so, it blows my mind, this homophobic mindset of, because somebody is attracted to the gender that you're part of, that they're going to be attracted to you. Yeah.

Does she think that every woman in the room is attracted to her husband also? Maybe. Everyone in that room is a threat to her and her husband. He really wasn't that attractive No Come on I know It was mind blowing

And I had a great discussion With some drag queens afterwards And they were disgusted We were in the toilets And they had big oriental fans And I said that's good thinking Because it got quite hot in there Yeah it did

And then they fanned me down Which was Like they stood on either side Of me fanning me And I shared their story with them and they said, oh, you never let these people ruin your night or they'll ruin your life. Did you stand in front of the mirror washing your hands with them? Because there is nothing worse than standing in the mirror with a drag queen

or getting your photo taken with a drag queen. Oh, no, it's all right with me because I put no effort into my appearance. But I could see how if you did. You're like, I've done my makeup. Not that you can tell. This immaculate specimen standing beside you with makeup. You know, not a single thing wrong after dancing for an hour and a half to share. So, Fletch, how was it for you?

It was great. And then on the way out, I said, well, you know, at least these old people, homophobic old people will be dead soon. And that lady next to me was like, we're not dead yet. I was like, no, not you. You're all right. Are you homophobic? She was like, no. And we're like, we're not dead yet. I was like, no, not you. You're all right. Are you homophobic? She was like, no.

And we're like, you're all right then. You're all right then. Continue on your way. Are you going to say what? It was a great night. No, just say what it was for you. What was it? What you said this morning when he came in.

I can't remember what I said to you. He said bucket list moment for me, Magoo. Oh, it was a bucket list moment. Yeah, it was bucket list. I mean, it wasn't as good as like some of the shows have been. Too bad it was up there. Oh, it was up there.

It was great fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we can tell from the stories. And I mean, we heard Vaughan singing on his Instagram stories.

It was great. I had the time of my life. I want to apologise. I want to thank everybody for the supportive messages. There were some people who were like, we can't hear Cher.

And I said, well, you should have paid for tickets yourself, you cheap, cheap arse. And other people just saying do, because at the end I apologised. Yeah. My Instagram story is just saying sorry about that. It was a bit loud. And other people just saying, do, because at the end I apologised.

Yeah. My answer to the story is just saying, sorry about that. It was a bit loud. And people are like, you never should apologise for having passion and fun.

And I said, I never will again. Yeah, you never will again. It is something about the new iPhone though. It does seem to isolate your singing.

Directional, yeah. Yeah. Just watch that if you're filming a concert and singing. Alright. I like that if you're filming a concert and singing. All right. Mosh Monday. It's our second Mosh Monday.

And this all started with a song that really hit you in the feels, Megan. It was pink just like a pill. It was my emotional teenage song. Reminded me of cleaning toilets. And that got us talking about our emotional teenage songs and it was hilarious, to be honest. To look back now and find those songs that really meant a lot back in the day when you were a teenager. So we opened it up to everybody listening

to us submit their Mosh Monday song at ZM Online and we're calling people back when we think this is going to be an absolute banger. Yep, we relive the emotion. We hear why this song is so emotional to them. Rochelle, good morning.

Good morning. Now, how old were you when this song was your emotional song? I think I was about 12 when this song hit me right in the feels. It's such an emotional time, isn't it, being 12? It is. All those hormones running wild, you know, girls and boys.

Oh, it's a good time. So why has this song been your emotional song? Listen, every time I hear this song, and boy, do I play it on the regular now, it brings back those memories. It brings back those memories of friendship, of the good times, of the sad times, of all those experiences that we go through in an immediate sense.

How old are you now, sorry? I'm 25, which also the song hits me right in the feels again. So every time you hear it now, it's like all over again, feels. Exactly. It's that nostalgia that comes back when you hear those songs, you know. Okay. Did you have a boyfriend in Intermediate for a week or an hour? Yes, I did on one date to the movies, and he was two hours late. So that didn't last very long.

That's a whole movie length. But it's hard because mum has to drop you off, doesn't she, when you're 12? Exactly. He lived in Howick, so it was a long drive to Newmarket in those days. Oh, okay. Yeah, but not two hours late long. That's some absolute tardiness. He brought me a necklace to make up for it, so...

Oh, when he was 12! That's why it was late. Ray stopped the shop. That would have been all his pocket money. Yeah, I know. I know. He must have loved me. And how did that end? I think we just parted ways. I think he may have done something on the field or, I know. He must have loved me. And how did that end? I think we just parted ways. I think he may have done something on the field or, you know. On the top field.

Oh, yeah, probably on the field. Probably kissed another girl on the top field. Probably. Do you remember his name? Yes, his name was Thomas. Thomas. And what's Thomas doing now? You found him on Facebook?

Yeah, we actually are still friends on Facebook. That scallywag. He's not coming with motorbikes now. Oh, he's always posting motorbikes. Is he taken? Is he single? I think so, but his profile picture is a motorbike, so he might have, you know...

He's taken by a motorbike. He's married to a Kawasaki 250. Okay, well, Rochelle, introduce your Motion Monday song for us. Today's Motion Monday goes back to 2000 and stops. It was Vitamin C, Friends Forever. Friends Forever. Yes, this is a banger. It's also known as the graduation song.

It is. Yes. All right, it's your Motion Monday. On to them. We talked all night about the rest of our lives. Where we're going to be when we turn 25. I keep thinking times will never change Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back No more hanging out cause we're on a different track And if you got something that you need to say You better say it right now cause you don't have another day Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down These memories are playing like a film without sound We would get so excited and we'd get so scared Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels As we go on We remember All the times we Had together remember all the times we've been together and as our lives change from whatever we will still be

friends forever as we go on we remember all the times we've been together. And as our lives change for whatever, we will still be friends forever. It's vitamin C graduation. Friends forever. I thought it was saying vitamin C.

Vitamin C? I don't know. Vitamin. But she was American, so she probably would have said vitamin C. Yeah, they did say it that way. It's today's Mosh Monday. Rochelle's Mosh Monday.

If you've got a song that reminds you of your teenage years, some heartbreak, some trouble, a song that brings back those memories, you can slide into our DMs, FEMZM, Instagram, Facebook, and you could be next Monday's most Monday. Somebody messaged in Ashley's on the way to a job interview and they

had to do that thing where you blink heaps so you don't cry. Because she didn't want to ruin her makeup on the way to the job interview. Imagine turning into a job interview with just black streaks. They played a song on the radio that made me cry. I am a great candidate for the position. Emotionally stable.

Other people were sad. Just reminds me of the car scene from Scary Movie 2 where she's singing along and then the radio tells her to stop singing in swear words. And there's Anna Faris in that scene. Yeah. Brilliant. Want to hear from people now

who have ever dated someone and they, people have said that they look like you. Maybe you've been out with someone, you look more like brother and sister.

Yeah, remember that couple when we talked about it ages ago, I saw them at the gym and I was like, oh, that's cute,

the brother and sister working out and then they kissed. And I was like, oh, that's so, oh, they're not brother and sister. Because it might creep you out when people say's cute, the brother and sister working out, and then they kissed. And I was like, oh, that's so, oh, they're not brother and sister. Because it might creep you out

when people say that you look like brother and sister, but it could be a good sign for your relationship. Okay, well, really? A study has been done, and it looks into why we're attracted to people who look the same as us. I've never been attracted to anybody that looks like me. I like girls from around the world.

Yeah, you're not in this. No, what about you said your pass card's Jason Statham? Is that not true? Oh, same sex pass card. Oh, right, okay. I was gay. It'd probably be a different thing altogether. Yeah, right.

I'd actually want to be with a guy that looks heaps like me. So I could be like, yeah, you go there, I don't want to. And then just walk around the party in different directions and they'll think we're both there. Right. Okay. That would just be handy to have. Just a double ganger.

So the reason people are attracted to people who look similar to them is, and if you've even met anyone and been like, oh my God, it feels like we've known each other forever, it's because you have similar facial emotions. Your neural, they call it neural vocabulary, is similar. So when they have emotions, you're like, oh, I recognise that. As soon as you understand, it's like a greater level of understanding in another person. Because you can look at them and recognise emotions and facial features quickly.

Like the same species of dog. Yeah. Your facial, like when you're surprised it would look the same and when you're white. I don't really know of people that go out or are married that look the same. Do you? I can give you some celebrities.

So like remember when Brad Pitt dated Gwyneth Paltrow and they both have short hair and they both got prominent jaw lines. So like they looked very similar and now Dylan Sprouse, his girlfriend is Barbara okay. So, like, they looked very similar. And now Dylan Sprouse, his girlfriend, is Barbara Pelvin. His twin, Cole Sprouse. I don't know why, brother, but I think we should start a relationship.

So Dylan and Barbara. Oh, my God. That looks like his brother in drag. Yeah. That looks like brother and sister. It does, right? Wow, that's crazy. Oh, yeah, okay.

Because you can recognise facial, you know, features and everything much quicker and so you feel like you know them and you understand them better, which, I mean, leads to a better relationship. Guys, you can be honest. Do I look like my wife? No. Do you want to? It's a good thing you don't.

She doesn't want to look like me. She doesn't want to look like me. I don't want to look like her. Well, I wouldn't mind looking. She's very attractive. And I would guess I would then be like, I to look like me. She doesn't want to look like me. I don't want to look like her. Well, I wouldn't mind looking. She's very attractive. And I would guess I would then be like, I would look like her brother because he's the male version of her. He's good looking.

And everyone you ever point out is hot. Nuh-uh. You never do that, by the way. I never do that. No. You never do that. Sure not, I laugh. They never look like you.

Oh, no, they don't. No, they don't. No, you. Oh, no, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't. They've always, as I said, but I'm an explorer at heart. I would have been. Tell you what, if I was dropped in the 1700s with a sailing ship, I would have got it because of the shenanigans.

Where's Captain Vaughn going again? We just got back from a journey. I don't know. Apparently back down to the lands with the hot people with tans. We can't hold him here. We can't, no. He's happiest at sea. So you want to hear from people that have ever been,

and maybe you didn't know this was a thing, but have you ever been in a relationship, or you're in one now, where people do confuse you for siblings, or they say you look the same? You look the same, yeah. Do you do it often? I don't know if it's a thing. What about you, Fletch? No. siblings or they say you look the same? You look the same, yeah. Do you do it often?

I don't know if it's a thing. What about you, Fletch? No. You look the same? No. No. The only long-term relationship Fletch is in is with his cat. They don't really look the same.

You do have a bitchy resting face, though. Yeah. You both do have a bitchy resting face. We do. Low tolerance for other people. You and your cat are the same person? Pretty much, yeah. Except one's a cat. He's the cat version.

Alright, so 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. When you've been confused for siblings or you've looked the same as your partner. Give us a call. So apparently we like to date people that look like ourselves. Because you can recognise yourself in another person and you can understand them better and then you feel like you've known them for years and it leads to a better relationship. So we'd love to know if you look like your partner.

Or maybe you look like brother and sister ever been in a relationship with someone who looks like you. Someone's text messaged in, and this is actually a really good point. I've noted this before. On reality TV shows where you compete as a duo, like The Block or My Kitchen Rules, the ones that are couples always

look like siblings. They do! Yeah. Because you're always like... The blonde guy with the blonde girl, similar facial structure, blue eyes. They look like they're brother and sister, but they're a couple. And then you see them kissing and you're like, whoa! Oh, yeah.

Or they're just celebrating a great new family home. Grace, now what's the situation? You look like brother and sister? So we were both ginger. Okay. So people who knew us and were friends with us would be like,

oh, Grace's brother must be in town. Oh, wait, no, that's her boyfriend. And was that ever awkward when that happened? Yeah, like people would be like, oh, is this your brother? And I'd be like, no, that's my boyfriend of two years. We sleep together. Everybody with red hair is not related, honestly.

Sadly. There's a few of us out there. Well, apparently it's a good thing for a relationship. Are you guys still together? Nah. You didn't have any children in that time together? No, but I used to like, he'd be like, oh, let's go buy clothes for

our future children. And I'd be like, nothing orange. Like, nope. No, yeah, you can't. Or reds. Or pink. Earthy colours. Greens, browns. Green, blue. Autumn colours. Yeah, yeah, autumn colours. They've already got the leaves covered. Thanks to you, cool, Grace. Nadia, you and your husband, do you look similar?

We do. So you could, do people ever say brother and sister? All the time. How long have you been together? We're about 24 years now. Oh, God. So that's probably as long as some people have actually known their siblings. Ah, yes.

So was it just at the start of the relationship or after so many years you still look similar? Well, we've got an eight-year-old now and people said that when I was pregnant, oh, there'll be no surprises what that baby looks like. Yeah, you look very similar. Yeah. Wow.

I've seen both of us. And is it ever awkward in public if anyone sees, like, like they see you kissing, they're like, oh, like, don't kiss your brother? Well, I'm not really into PDA, but back in the younger days it was, yeah. Yeah, right. When you first met him, were you like, he looks like me, hot? Never.

Right. It never occurred to me until later when people started saying it. Right. Because do you have any brothers? Yes. And at that, did he look like your brothers? No, he's a lot hotter than my brother, I thought. Yeah.

So compliment to you if people think that the hot one's your brother, but your actual brother's not. Exactly. Brilliant. All right, Nadia, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. Jules says, I'm 6'2", tall, and my ex when I was 19 was 6'9". So there's two tall people.

I mean, that height alone, when people are that tall. Do you still need people for the indoor netball team? I don't know. I'm not included in it. That's not very nice, though, is it? They don't like that. No, and do you play basketball? You're tall.

Because especially when our uncle, like Ross Boss, our boss, he's tall, but Christ, he's uncle Orden. I know. Oh, yeah. And unfit. He looks like one of those baby giraffes when they just fall off his knees. He's not listening, is he?

And they said we both have olive skin, dark feature, and slightly long faces. Okay. At the time he worked at a bank, I went to have lunch with him on his break, and the security guard said, it's so cool that you get on well enough with your brother to have lunch with him. Would you like to go out for a drink sometime? She was actually there to see her boyfriend, not her brother.

Awkward. No thanks, security guard. No, thank you. High praise. Lots of people saying that now that we've mentioned it, they do have similar facial features. I'd like to think somebody just in their car on their way to work is like, oh my god, my boyfriend could be my brother. Like, looks like him. Hadn't even thought about it until

you mentioned it. But it's a good thing, apparently. It's a good thing. Yeah, you'll stay together. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about thieves and their downfall. A group of thieves stole 18,000 US dollars worth of GPS tracking devices. And were caught three hours later.

Of course they were. So they broke into a Silicon Valley high tech warehouse. And apparently these GPS tracking devices were small and looked like cell phone charges, like portable batteries. So if you went Bush, you'd take one of these so you could recharge your cell phone, get a few charges out of it. Take one to the festival, put it in your purse, Megan. Oh, so they didn't know they were stealing GPS tracking.

No, they thought they were stealing things. So anyway, when these guys got didn't know they were stealing GPS trackers. No, they thought they were stealing things. So anyway, when these guys got to work and they were like, oh, we've been broken into. Oh, beers are gone. Unusual. Yeah.

And then walked into the back room. Oh, GPS tracking devices also stolen. They went to a computer, pressed two buttons and it showed them exactly where they were. So it only took them three hours

because that was how long it took for someone to get to work. Right. And then they literally walked to get to work. Right. And then they literally walked into a storage unit, facility, opened it up and found thousands of dollars of stolen equipment. Not just theirs, but everybody else's as well.

That was the entire downfall. So you went to the storage place the other week to store some stuff. I'd love to have an... Imagine if you had the master key to all of them. Would you just have a nosy through everyone's storage units? It would just be rubbish. It'd be a lot of rubbish.

But have you not seen the show, Megan? Storage walls. I remember that set up. Yeah, that was heartbreaking. They're putting cool stuff in there. I remember the day they came out and said storage walls are set up. I was just like, what? What?

No one was storing an original whirlets, a jukebox, and a crappy old roll-ups. Well, that's disappointing. Those storage units are for people like Bourne who can't throw things away. Borders, yeah. And then you can be like, oh, there's no room for it. Storage unit?

I was really surprised when Sade was on board for a storage unit. Yeah, I'm surprised she didn't make you throw things out. Just throw anything that's going in there can just get thrown straight away. Yeah. Rather than in five years when it's cost us thousands of dollars to store something somewhere, you throw it away then.

So these little trackers actually were used and developed to track bananas around the world. Oh, okay. Yeah, so they could find out where the bananas had come from and where they were on the ships and everything. Why don't they just ask them where they came from?

That's why they were little tiny ones. I don't know. Is there much skullduggery in the banana industry? I don't know. Would they lie about the origins of the bananas? I don't know. And if you can? I don't know.

Bizarre. Lassie worries now about fruit, isn't it? Where it came from. What's it bloody got in it? So today's fact of the day is thieves stole $18,000 worth of GPS tracking units from a tech company and were found three hours later. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It was on Friday. It was a work function.

After our show, I went out and perused the grazing tables and there was good snacks. Huge company meeting. I'd say about 200, 300 people in a room. Yeah, it was pretty big. There was lots of people in there. And it's kind of the thing you all have to go. And it's just another, you know,

I'm like, is it Elon Musk who's like don't go to meetings? And look at him, he's got like a spaceship and stuff. So if meetings, no meetings for Elon Musk are good enough, then they're good enough for me. Yeah, but Elon Musk isn't your boss. Elon Musk is the boss. He doesn't pay your

He doesn't pay the wages. No. Yeah, very true. But I think most people agree workplaces have too many meetings. And they're just boring. I'm on board. I've got a tip to get out of large gathering meetings. This probably wouldn't work for small gathering meetings of like five people. No.

You've got to be at a gathering where you could be lost in the room. Essential. So this is what we do. This is what I did. I went out there, because obviously it's Friday, I just wanted to go home. I made a beeline to the CEO of the company, who was at the mixing desk. He was

preparing his speech. He was practicing it. I said, Bogsy mate, are you practicing to give me my lifetime achievement award? Made a joke. He laughed. And then I walked to the back of the room, stood there. He started.

He even made a joke about my lifetime achievement award. Everyone in the room was like looking. And then he carried on and I just left. So I effectively saved an hour of my day. But for all he knows, I was there. Apart from now when you're saying out loud that you weren't there. Well, no, because he's working upstairs, isn't he? He's always listening, though. Is he?

He's got people. He's got people. So you're saying you need to make your presence known, wave, be like, hey, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, and then do it. Do you remember the other punishing meeting we had a few months ago in the big off-open plan? Why are you incriminating yourself like that? Do you remember the other punishing meeting we had a few months ago in the big off open plan? Why are you incriminating yourself like that?

Do you remember what I did? What did you do? You made a real loud statement right at the start. I made a scene and I actually scared some people and everybody looked and then again I slipped away. I was there for that whole meeting. I was there for the whole thing and then later

our boss said to us, oh I noticed Fletch was there for the whole thing. And then later our boss said to us, oh, I noticed Fletch was there, but you weren't. Exactly. Because I made a scene, it was in the memory, whereas you just you were like the wallpaper. Yeah, you're just wallpaper. Okay.

So this is what I'm saying. There needs to be a large one so you can slip away. I mean, you still need to be there for the initial at the start of the meeting, but just find the key people. Yeah. Make a scene. Say hello or make a scene. Like drop a big glass or something.

Yeah. If you had to. Everyone saw me at that meeting on Friday because someone said, where did you get those scones? And I said, I'll go get the tray. So then on the way to get the tray, I thought, I'll make it look like I'm cleaning up. So I grabbed the empty trays and then I got to the tray that was full but it had scones on it. And I said, I'm just going to refresh this tray. I thought, I'll make it look like I'm cleaning up. So I grabbed the empty trays and then I got to the tray

that was full but it had scones on it and I said, I'm just going to refresh this tray and I picked it up and everyone's like, good on you for cleaning up. Two or three people said, good on you for mucking in. Yeah, but then that lady that you bonked on the head when you lifted it above, he was carrying it above his head and he bonked someone on the head. She wasn't saying good on you. Can I have one of those scones?

I'm like, no, no, no, I'm refreshing the tray. But again, she remembers that Vaughn was there, even though he snuck off at the same time as me. And I was there early at the meeting, eating all the food when Bogsy first arrived, and he was like, you here for the meeting nice and early? I was like, yes. This is unfair.

And I ate so many sausage rolls. I don't remember Megan being at that meeting. I was there. Were you? So that's my tip for there! Were you? Oh. So that's my tip for getting out of a large gathering. Make an absolute dip for myself. It's like going to a party. You just do the rounds. You know, you get photos with everyone at the

start of a party, or a house party or whatever, and then you leave. No, you just wait till the host is drunk and then you leave. Because they're not going to remember. They're not. Great tips, and you're welcome. You leave. Yep.