ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 25 2018

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

Megan has taken on a new personal mantra, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and the ultimate $1 lolly mixture.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Zit-Em. Zit-Em's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks, Anya. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. How do you report to the police that your bongs have been stolen? So I read this story. So it was in the local student paper or something, again. Student mag. So they wrote about it. They were like, oh, yeah, the proctor. What the hell is a proctor?

Is it a professor doctor? Yes. Oh, I don't know. The proctor of a university. I was like, what is a proctor? Sounds like a very flash term. An officer, usually one of two at certain universities, appointed annually and having mainly disciplinary functions.

Oh, right. Was it Jeremy Piven who played a proctor in... Van Walder. Yeah, or I was thinking like, what was that Will Ferrell movie? Oh, yeah. You know the Will Ferrell movie where, you know, Frank the Tank. Oh. Old school.

Old school. Old school. Yeah, he plays the proctor. He's a proctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not having any of their shenanigans. Right. God, that's a good movie.

Great movie. Great movie. Great movie. Him a boy, Blue. Selena Gomez only just watched Step Brothers. I learned that on Instagram yesterday. She was filming herself cracking up watching Step Brothers. Oh, welcome to like, how many years ago? Five years ago?

Come on, Selena Gomez. Cinematic classic. Absolutely. So that year the Proctor took their bongs. And so they're upset because he went, I mean, I guess he's in their house without asking, but at the same time, would you rather go to the police and do it that way?

He just doesn't want any trouble. Now there's trouble, so. Yeah, I don't know. No one's winning here, are they? No. No, it's a no-win situation. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Alright, three news headlines for story time. I've want to make and pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, nothing the police can do. Headline two, that was very vague. Headline two, police chief defends taser use. And headline three, third time unlucky for family's lounge. Third time unlucky for... Which one was taser use? Two.

Big fan of taser use. I know. I like the vagueness of story number one, though. Yeah. Have you ever seen anybody being tased in real life? No. Nah, neither. I don't think I want to. It's a bit of a bucket list for me. Again, as long

as it's not me. I'm pretty sure you could do that in Thailand. Tase someone. Yeah, because you know you can fire like machine guns and stuff and bazooka cows and that. I'm pretty sure. I reckon that would cost you a premium, though. To tase someone. Yeah.

Because, like, the guns, if you use, like, standard guns, it's pretty cheap. But when you start getting more exciting guns is when it starts getting more expensive. Yeah. Well, can't you just buy a taser in the shop? You would easily find someone who would probably do it for a shot or even a round of drinks on a Friday night.

All right, you guys are going to an Australian. Yeah. Right. Taze an Australian. Sure. Taze an Australian on Hardron Beach on... Exactly. Where's the full moon party?

What's that name of Scope? Copen Yang. Copen Yang. Yeah. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. Yeah. Can I taze you?

I'll buy you a bucket. Boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. All right, I'll steal. Boom, boom, boom. He's dead. You'd probably want to run through some medical questions.

Yeah, no, I've straight up killed him. A lot of them are on the pharmacy drugs. At least peed himself. He shit himself. So which one? Are we going taser? The family? Do you want taser? I've had my fun with taser, but I can always have more taser. So which one? Are we going taser? The family? Do you want taser?

I've had my fun with taser, but I can always have more taser. You want to? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, we go now to Chatswood, where the police department is having to explain itself and

its taser use after officers tased an 87-year-old woman. Oh. Oh, my God. Wow. She's 5'2", 87 years old, and apparently the police officers say they had exhausted their options. What was she doing? Was she armed?

So apparently, police say she failed to comply with numerous commands to put down a kitchen knife she was using to cut dandelions. Oh, come on. Apparently, there is police body camera footage of the incident, but that has yet to be

released. Should have been like, what? No, no, no. Put down the knife. I can't hear you. Come closer. Put down the knife. What did you say? Just, yeah.

So it's kind of like a... No, no, it didn't. No, it didn't kill her. Get it, girl. It's amazing. Might have started her heart. Yeah, might have given her five more years. Yeah, they're obviously wearing it as a police department

because the officers couldn't take down an 87-year-old 5'2 woman with a small knife. What had she done that they wanted to like, oh, she's just in the garden with a knife, and they're like, this is dangerous. Someone must have called the police because someone was walking around with a knife, but the old lady's just doing her gardening.

Does your mum weed with a knife? A knife? No, I don't think so. My nan's got this a knife, but the old lady's just doing her gardening. Because does your mum weed with a knife? A knife? No, I don't think so. My nan's got this gardening knife, and it's an old knife that, because my grandad was one of those grandads that every time before you had a roast meal, he'd be like,

I think it's sharp. It's not blunted itself since last time you did this, two nights ago. Sharpening his knife. So he'd always wear knives down until they were really thin. Oh, yeah, my nan is there. I need a new knife. So that would become her gardening knife.

The blades always looked like real warped and thin. Yeah. And then when there was like paspalum or like weeds in the lawn, she'd walk out with her gardening knife and get a knife underneath it and run around and pop it out. So there was only a gardening knife. But wouldn't a fork be better for that? No, because it's too big. It's too wide. You want the precision. You get it and pop it out. Wouldn't a fork be better for that? No, because it's too big.

It's too wide. You want the precision. You get in and you go around the thin tubular root. No, I mean a kitchen fork. To get around the weed. Yeah. No, mate.

You make a bloody messy lawn. Oh, okay. Oh, I was thinking the garden. Oh, no, no, no. The weeds in the garden, not the lawn. Oh, yeah, right. Okay.

And every now and then she'd just stick it in the ground and run it along the edge of the concrete. Oh, yeah. To make a nice light. And every now and then she'd just stick it in the ground and run it along the edge of the concrete. Oh, yeah. To make a nice light. And the edging looks like an edging tool. I don't need it.

Go now. It's a gardening tool. Now you just get a weed eater, right? Yeah. Because it's not after World War II. That's what I do. Weed eat the hell out of it. The reason why the 87-year-old wasn't following instructions,

she couldn't speak English. Oh. No. Oh, no. So, yeah. I'm glad she couldn't speak English. Oh! No. Oh, no! So, yeah. Glad she's okay. Yeah. Hopefully, we'll have a follow-up for that story.

Hopefully, she gets some money out of them, because... Yeah. Seems a bit rough, doesn't it? Pay someone else to get the dandy lines out. F.M. There's a new law that's, well, it's like a bylaw just for a council in Venice, Italy.

So this is being taken, the city's mayor, Luigi, has taken it. I know, I love this name. Get out of town. Bruganaro. Luigi Bruganaro. Okay. It was just an attempt. So he's taken this.

It's not in yet, but this is something that they are proposing. So keep this in mind if you're going to Venice in Italy. You can't sit down anywhere. Anywhere? You can't sit down unless it's like a designated sitting spot. Like on a chair? Like a seat. Like a seat.

So there's already places in Venice if you've been there. You can't sit on the Rialto Bridge which is that big bridge that goes over one of the canals that everyone takes pictures on. But at that Sopranum it's not big and that's why they don't want people to sit there. It's already congested because there's a few shops and then everyone's taking photos there. And then other churches and stuff you're not allowed to sit

down around because people are taking photos. It's congested. What about that big square? Is that St. Mark's Square? Is that what it's called? St. Mark's, yeah. Are you allowed to sit down in there? That's where the pigeons are. I think so, but you probably wouldn't want to, yeah, because of all the pigeons and people walking through. It's pretty

congested. Is this a problem that tourists are doing this or is it more to stop, like, street people? Like beggars? No, it's to stop tourists from just sitting down in congested areas. So in Venice, there's not like parks, really, and there's not a lot of benches.

So I'm like, where are you supposed to sit? Because, you know, if you're walking around and it's hot and you're tired and you've done heaps of walking already, so you might buy something for lunch. Don't go in a cafe because it's expensive. So you buy something, take away, like where are you supposed to sit?

So what are they going to... Well, they asked me Luigi for comment and all he said is, I'm Luigi, number one. But not only are they going to tell you off,

you could get a 500 euro fine. Oh, that's a... Mamma mia! That's a thousand dollars. New Zealand. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

That's like your travel budget, like, gone. Because I've been in Rome and I sat down on some grass because I bought a pizza and then went and sat on some grass and the police blew like a whistle at me. And were like, get off, get off, move away. What's the point of having the grass? I know. But the grass is so like, the little park area is like protected.

But I was like, well, we have park areas like this in New Zealand and you sit on it. What's the go there? Why plant grass if it's not for sitting on? It's just not for looking at. Plant it in the hedges. Hedges is good to look at. But that would be rare in Rome, wouldn't it? To have a little grassy.

A little patch of grass. A little patch of grass, yeah, to sit on. So, yeah, just be careful, I guess, in Italy and in Venice specifically. Don't sit down just anywhere where you might get touched. It's so tough over there. Remember that time they told us off with the statues? Well, don't touch them. That was Greece.

That was one of the other ancient civilizations. Be touching the statues. No, no. I was just saying in Europe. I'm saying in Europe. They're very rulesy. No, it was taking photos of the penises that we got told off for. But I've seen photos of penises since that friends have taken.

Right. Of the statues, not of their own penises. Oh, and they didn't get told off? No. Why are you not allowed to take a photo of the statues? I don't know. I don't think she liked it. We were laughing at them.

Oh, okay. And then she knew we were taking photos not for art's sake. Yeah, so I think she was upset at that, to be honest. Right. For pain's sake. All right. Oh, for pain's sake. Grow up.

FVM, the podcast. If you're tired, you might be able to prove it soon by doing a blood test. Right. Which would wake a lot of people up because a lot of people don't like needles. So you can either be tired or have a needle. I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm fine. But apparently this

was done by a sleep study school and they enrolled a whole lot of people, took their blood, made them stay awake for 40 hours, then took more blood and then studied the changes in the genes and signs in the blood

markers in the blood to see if they could identify how the blood changed from well rested to extremely fatigued. Does it just like zip around or like real sluggish like oh I'm just going to chill. They said there's markers. I don't understand there's a whole lot of like blood words. I'm guessing they to chill. They said there's markers. I don't understand. There's a whole lot of like blood words.

I'm guessing they have to look through a microscope or something. Oh, yeah, there'll be a microscope. And there'll be a centrifuge that spins around. They'll put them in the tube. Those are called... That's like the paint thing at Mitre 10 Mega Ray. Is that so you just... No, that shakes.

Oh, is it? Okay. What does that thing in the chemist do? Doesn't it just tip them over and tip them over and tip them over? What's the thing at the chemist? Isn't that just like, no, that's what he's talking about. It spins. Yeah, but why do you have one of those at the chemist?

No, the centrifuge spins. No, I mean like at the place where they do blood tests. Oh, right, the lab. Are you talking about that thing that goes slosh? Yeah. What is that doing? Good question. Don't know.

Does it need to like Mix it around or something? Maybe Mix it up or something But then Doesn't the spinny one That separates it right? I think so Yeah I don't know

And the paint machine At Bunnings Just mixes your base colour In with your tones Yeah To achieve It does a great job To achieve the one you want

It shakes the living hell out of it So you can fix that hole In your wall So your landlord doesn't notice So they say this will be able to identify how tired people are. Right, so what? So employers could use it, police

could use it. Well, yeah, like they're saying 2% of all road deaths in 2015 had fatigue as a cause, people falling asleep. So if police pull you over because you're driving erratically and you're not drunk,

they can then test exactly how exhausted you are. Right. And also, what a neat way to get out of work. Just be like, I'm literally too tired to work. So would you get a blood test when you come into work and they're like, oh, you're really tired today? Go home to bed. You're like, yeah, because you're making me work 12 hours a day.

Yeah. Well, I don't know. That would be our excuse. Oh, not that. Well, that was when I got the, because when I got the blood test and the doctor's like, you're anemic. He's like, are you always tired?

I'm like, yes. Can you write something on a piece of paper that either makes me stop being tired or gets me out of work for a prolonged period to stop my tiredness? And he's like, not right away. I was like, damn it.

Do you need a medical certificate for like three, yes. Where's my easy fix? Yeah. Do you want to take the rest of the week off? Make it the rest of the year.

I'm very, very tired. So, yeah, they're going to be able to blood test you to see how tired you are. Okay. Then I'm going to have to,

because I don't like needles, I'm going to have to weigh up, do I want to brave the needle today and not go to work, or do I just want to sit there and... I think we've taken this into our own hands that this thing's going to get us out of work, by the way. Oh, is it not? I think it's mostly to test if you're too tired to drive,

or maybe if your work involves heavy machinery. Yeah, yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Top Six signs there's a phone in your mince. Somebody's phone fell out of their pocket apparently and into the mincer at the big meat mincing machine that provides pack and save with its mince. Did they not do that at the back?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Oh, okay, you're right. But then it goes into the little... Oh, you're right. What if someone just was like trying to get a new phone and they wrote that on their claim? And then they were like,

what if it fell in the mincer? And you're like, yep. Recall the mince. Oh, this has gone too far. Yeah, they had to recall the mince. Right, okay. Because of the phone bits. Right.

This thing, this mincer, it must be something. I know. But it didn't even hiccup on a phone. No. Just mince straight through it. But you'd hear it, wouldn't you? Be like... You'd think so.

But maybe not. But I don't know. So the top six signs there's a phone in your mince. Number six, your mince keeps making this noise. You're like, what was that? Also, it's vibrating. Your mints are apparently vibrating. Number five on the list of the top six signs there's a phone in your mints is that if there's a new mints released,

your old mints starts running a little bit slower. They do it on purpose. They do it on purpose. They do it on purpose. They're doing it to make you buy new mints. Don't be fooled. There's nothing wrong with your mints. Yeah, update your mints. Don't update your mints.

Because that's the new operating system to make your mints run slower. Yeah. Number four on the top six signs that there's a phone in your mints. Your wrist cells are at only 20% battery and it's not even lunchtime. How's that even possible? I have hardly used it.

Yeah. Them. The balls of meat. Yeah. I'm at 20%? Did I not plug my wrist soles in overnight last night? That'll be it. Yeah.

That'll be it. Number three on the list of the top six signs. There's a phone in your mints. When you defrost your mints in the microwave, it explodes your microwave. Starts sparking. Yeah, it just blows up. There's like a full-blown thunderstorm in your microwave. Yeah. There's a phone in your mints. Number two on the top six signs.

There's a phone in your mints. When you plug a charger into your mints, it makes this noise. Again. Number two, when you plug a charger into your mints, it makes this noise. That's how you know there's a phone in your mints. Okay. So what? We should be putting the charger.

The good thing about it, when you charge it, like now, all of your friends, you'll be able to charge your mints wherever you are. Someone will always have a mints charger on them. Yeah. Should we be putting the charger into our mints tonight to just double check? I would. Oh, and if your mints doesn't charge, it might just have a bit of fluff in the mints hole. Into the mints hole.

You get a bit of fluff in your mints hole, Into the mince hole. You get a bit of fluff in your mince hole and it will be over. And how you get it out is you get a little pin. You dig it into the mince hole. Yeah, yeah. You get a pin

and you dig it in and you flip the fluff out of your mince hole. You've got to be careful not to damage the mince hole. That's why you use a pin, not anything thicker. You're putting a pin

in your mince hole. Good Lord. Yeah, to get the fluff out. But that's all. And the number one sign that there's a phone in your mince, when you're sitting down for dinner and you said, Mom, this spaghetti, it's amazing. And your mom said, hey, it's nothing.

And you said, hey, seriously, your spaghetti bolognese said, I'm listening. Because of when you said hey seriously. I'm listening. Hey Siri. I'm listening. You get it.

You're there now. That's today's top six. Uluru is the big rock also known as Ayers Rock in Australia. I did not know is it called Uluru? Uluru. That big rock also known as Ayers Rock in Australia I did not know is it called Uluru

Uluru that's it's yeah it's name isn't it is it the Aboriginal tribe of the area yeah

do you know I looked at going there once it's super expensive what's expensive to get there or to well you can get I found some cheap flights there

because when you fly to Alice Springs yep yep and you fly in but then you've got to rent a car. Then you've got to get a hotel and all of that's not cheap. Right. And then you've got to obviously get there.

Well, I think this might put a little bit of a pep in your step. Okay. It's because from next year, you're not going to be able to access it. You're not going to be able to go up it. It's changing. I was about to ask you, can you actually climb up it? Because you still can. I thought they'd ban you, can you actually climb up it? Because you still can. I thought they'd ban this,

but the story I'm reading is, let me believe that it's next year. Okay, so if you want to go up Ears Rock, you've got to do it ASAP. Yeah. Damn it. Is it made out of soft stuff? Is that the problem?

Like people walking up it as like wearing it down? It's pretty big. I don't know if it's going to wear down, is it? Or is it a cultural thing it down. It's pretty big. I don't know if it's going to wear down, is it? Or is it a cultural thing? Yeah, it's a cultural thing. I think it's its sacredness. It's for that.

It literally just pops up out of the middle of nowhere. Yeah. And for the people of the area who have been there for thousands of years, they can't always, it's held a mystery in a, you know, centre of a lot of the myth of the area and everything. So it's culturally very important to them. And so I think they just don't want it. Traipsed all over.

Littered. You know what people are like. You can put up signs saying, I mean, you shouldn't even need to put up signs saying don't litter. But you do and people still litter. Just that sort of thing and the wearing down of it because you've got to climb up it. So that's going to be taken off. However, this cultural firestorm that could put a fast forward on some people going up it,

a Gold Coast-based fitness company has put a video up on social media of one of their top customers twerking. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It's our hashtag work it, twerk it, babe at AMA underscore pinky. Rippin' work it on one of Australia's most iconic landmarks. And she's wearing a singlet that says twerking is my cardio.

And she's twerking on Oolaroo. Has it got the twerking website or whatever, the gym's name on it? Yeah, it's like blighted advertising. Hashtag work it. And twerking on Uluru. Yeah. See, I would not do that, but you need to have specific

rules then, because not everyone's going to think, okay, this isn't okay for me to do. You know? So you're saying there should be a sign at the bottom before you go up. Please, no twerking. Don't litter, no twerking. This is a culturally important place. So next year they're taking out the ability to climb it

because you still can climb it, although the tribe have said it'd be great if you guys didn't climb that. But everyone's like, yeah, whatever, and climbing it anyway and then doing stuff like this, I top it. I think going and seeing it would be enough for me. I don't know if I'd – I wouldn't want to climb it either because it's high. And snakes.

What about snakes? Oh, yeah. They're not going to be up top. They're more likely to be down bottom in all the scrub. I'd climb it to get out of the way of the snakes. Oh, right, okay. Even then the dingoes will get you. I'd love to climb it, but if it's not the done thing by the traditional owners,

I wouldn't push the issue. I'd be happy to walk around it. Sunset and sunrise seem to be the awesome times to catch it. But yeah, next year the ladder's gone. You're still going to be able to walk around it. So you can twerk in front of it, right? I mean, if you really want to. Is that still culture?

I mean, if that's really a thing, I wouldn't do it to advertise your business. Are we missing a trick here? Should we be twerking a bit more to get more listeners and market ourselves? No, I don't think our twerking would do anything to draw more people to the show. Would it scar them?

Right. Speak for yourself. I'd say children look the other way. You haven't seen Fleeche twerk. Oh, Bung, Hip and Unkoe. Yeah, you guys are like a couple of great twerkers. Get amongst us.

Yeah, it's not happening, is it? No. Okay, so you're right. It shouldn't happen. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Today is the 25th of September. Three months.

90 days, 16 hours and 53 minutes until Christmas. That's crazy, eh? Think about that. That's insane. But still, that's like, what is that, a quarter of the year? Yep. A quarter of the year to go until Christmas. These three months always go so fast.

They fly by. And do you know what else they're like saving us this weekend? Yes. Yes. I don't know why you guys get so excited about this. You've got to remember, we've got to wake up an hour earlier than we already wake up. Yeah, but it's only a couple of days of rubbish for like the next few months of happiness. Yeah.

Having all the sun after work. It's good in the evening. It's great. Okay. I'm on board. You're all right. You like it now. So 90 days away from Christmas, we've had a few more benchmark Christmas spottings pop

up this week. Okay. Let's start with Megan's favourite place to shop. Easy Buy. Where she gets all of her Nana Cardigans. Yeah, she loves her Cardys. And a great pair of comfy slippers. I'm not going to slam Easy Buy because

some people might love it, but I don't currently have any Cardys from Easy Buy. Can we do a thing where Megan has to wear only Easy Buy clothes for a whole month? Posty Plus. Posty Plus. She has to mail order from a catalogue, not internet shop. That was internet shopping before internet shopping.

Yeah, I used to do that when I was younger. Me and my mum used to order from Easy Buy. Would you circle what you wanted? Yeah, mum would be like, get the Easy Buy catalogue, circle what you want. And I would. And how much stuff would she get you? Would she make you rank them? No, like I usually got whatever I wanted. Like four much stuff would you get you? Would you make your rank them? No, like I usually got whatever I wanted, like four things.

Spoiled. I know. Oh, my God. Well, get ready to deck the halls because they're starting to feel a bit festive at Easy Buy. The Christmas and gift catalogue launches on Tuesday. Now, by my calculations, Dove today. So we thought we'd share a few sneaky previews of what's in store. They've got the traditional nutcrackers there.

Oh, okay. And a reindeer situation. The reindeer look to be made of some sort of tartan pattern. So they do decorations. Look how cute those nutcrackers are. Oh, my God. They look real cute. And my kitchen.

They would look great in the kitchen. And it's good because it's waterproof. You go crazy over Christmas crap. What? I know. Nutcrackers aren't waterproof. No, look, is it not wooden? They look wooden. Yeah, they are wooden.

Yeah, so if it gets a splash on it, you can just wipe it down is what I'm saying. Oh, but you don't want to get too much water on a wooden nutcracker. It'll swell. No, it's just splash-proof in my kitchen. No, you don't want a nutcracker in the kitchen. You can get food juice and stuff all over it.

No, that's what I'm saying. You can wipe it down. It's not fabric. I've never used a nutcracker in the kitchen. You get food, juice and stuff all over it. No, that's what I'm saying. You wipe it down. It's not fabric. I've never used a nutcracker to crack nuts. They've always been purely ornamental. Ornamental. Oh, no, it's not an actual nutcracker, is it? We've never been a huge nut family.

It's just a... No, it's just a... No, he's got the opening mouth. He's got the lever on the back. Oh, does he? Yeah, he's got the opening mouth. Oh, actual nutcracker. Okay.

He's got it over the mouth. Otherwise, send him back. This one, International Rebecca has been in touch. She said, Kia ora. Here's some Christmas penetration in the form of an entire store dedicated to artisan Christmas decorations. What's artisan Christmas decorations?

Like handmade? Handmade, like one-off. Like bespoke. Bespoke, yeah. In Montenegro, I did see several people making some fairly indulgent purchases. And it is. It's like jam-packed full of mini Santas and everything.

The storefront in Montenegro. It's not only humans that can be enjoying Christmas as well as we've got our first spot of cat-based Christmas. Okay. Apparently, New World Albany Albany. Albany. Say it both ways and you won't be wrong. Albany.

Albany. Albany. Albany. I like to say Albany. It's Albany. There's a cat Christmas stocking. What kind? What makes it a cat Christmas stocking?

Well, it's just in a Christmas stocking shape and it's got like a little thing that says cats love catnip and that's got catnip in it. And one of those plastic wiffle balls with a bow inside it. That seems like a good idea until they won't stop playing with it. And squeaky toys and stuff. Do you get Karen Christmas presents? No, it's a cat. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

No, it's a cat. You're right. It's a cat. The cat doesn't wake up and think, oh, it's Christmas. It just goes, oh, it's Christmas. No, but you've got to show them it's Christmas. Be like, today's special. Megan, they don't understand.

You're sad. Leo gets Christmas dinner. Sad guy. And a stocking. He's got his own stocking. Don't shake your head. You're sad. And you wonder why you've got to have mega ring noodles two days out from payday.

Because you're feeding your dog Christmas crap. Caitlin has been in touch. She said, I thought you guys might be interested to know, I've seen the first Candy canes of the season And that is Candy canes there In a jar

Or by the checkout Yeah that is in a Night and day In case you couldn't tell there Okay That is in a night You know I love The Belgium slices

They do it night and day Bloody sucker for those They do do a good slice Bloody sucker They do Great Borden's right They do do it

The night and day Is to a great slice. And every time I go past one, I'm like, shit, you've got me. I've never been to a night and day

when I haven't been desperate. Like, I've never chosen to... You know, it's always out of desperation that I've been into a night and day for sustenance.

Oh, yeah. Either late at night, early in the morning sort of situation. It's like a tractor beam. The slice cabinet. I've never been in the prime hours of the day where everything else is open. Because some of them are attached's like a tractor beam. I've never been in the prime hours of the day

where everything else is open. Because some of them are attached to servos. Yes. So they get me. They'll get you. Rihanna's been in touch. Now, Rihanna, a regular contributor too, is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

She said, the West Coast Wildlife Centre are advertising their Christmas merch. This is where they sell Christmas tree decorations, baubles, penguin-type Christmas decorations for your tree, all of which raising money. That's nice. For the wildlife of the West Coast.

Back in Auckland, Christmas penetration's been spotted by Peach and Papakura. Stampede Bar's bison head has a Merry Christmas cowboy hat on one of its horns. Too early. I've been waiting on that one. It's been sitting in the office. They're like, time to get that on the horns.

Time to get it out there. And I have, this is what's going to really shoot Christmas penetration up again today, three months out from Christmas. Our first spotting of tinsel. Oh, really? Yep. Countdown. Dana was in Countdown and spotted actual tinsel. Oh, really? Yep. Countdown. Dana was in Countdown and spotted actual

tinsel for sale just as tinsel. Too soon. Too soon for tinsel. Too soon. Because that's only needed for a tree. Yeah, my tree goes up at the end of October, so we've only got a month to go. Well, with all that

in mind... Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 48%. Ooh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. We are looking for the ultimate New Zealand dollar mixture. News just last week that

dollar mixtures could be a thing of the past because you've got to individually label... The ingredients and the nutrition information on pre-packed bags. Theories are like, well, CBF, we'll just sell bags of lollies. Yeah. It's sad, though. It is sad. But we have decided to find New Zealand's ultimate dollar mixture, like your favourite

lollies that go in there. Yeah, because in my mind, they've gone a bit rubbish anyway lately. Yeah, they have. When was the last time you bought a dollar mixture? Oh, you probably do more. Yeah, well, I bought one, yeah, because the girls were like, what's in that white bag? And I was like, it's a mixture of lollies.

They were like, tell us more. And I said, oh, they used to be all the rage. I don't know if people really do it anymore. So we bought one and they were like, oh, yeah, that one's yum. That one's yum. That's all. You can have the rest. And I was like, oh, yeah. Too picky., that one's yum, that's all, you can have the rest. And I was like, oh yeah. Too picky.

Very spoiled. If we become too picky. Very spoiled. Now, in the voting, you can go to see them online, in the voting, we've got all the lollies listed that you'd normally find in a dollar mixture or in the dairy or in the pick and mix. There's one, we don't want to reveal the

top four, but position five is quite... It's open. It's open for the winning. It's very close. Neck and neck. Between milk bottles and rainbow strips. So rainbow strips are like, would they be like an inch long?

Maybe a bit longer sometimes? Yeah, maybe a little bit longer. Maybe a couple of inches, three inches, maybe. I'm not mad about either of those. I'd have either, but I do quite like milk bottles. I don't like milk flavored anything. Milk bottles and milkshakes. No, Producer James and I were discussing milkshakes before.

Tastes like a milkshake in a lolly. A vanilla milkshake. Who gets a vanilla milkshake? You don't know? Who gets a milkshake and they're like, what flavor would you like? Vanilla. Vanilla's the base flavor. Vanilla's the base flavour.

Vanilla's the base flavour. Add the flavour to the vanilla. Exactly. Like vanilla and something. Now, French vanilla. And actual vanilla is, don't get me wrong, actual vanilla is a beautiful flavour, but just vanilla.

It's not, yeah. Fake vanilla. It's like vanilla ice cream in a lolly. But you know you could get chocolate flavoured something. Yeah, but... Like a chocolate milkshake. There's a time and get like chocolate flavoured something. Yeah, but... Like a chocolate milkshake. There's a time and place for chocolate.

Yeah, every time, every place. Okay, well you can vote for that fifth spot. Milk bottles or rainbow strips. You go to our Instagram or ZM online

and we will tomorrow reveal the top five lollies that you've chosen for our ultimate dollar mixture. I do have more lolly news because we may have missed a trick. We may have missed a lolly. Yeah.

In Marlborough, there is a place called Snow Dog Confectionery and they're making wine gummy bears. So these gummy bears. What a place to be making a wine gummy bear. Yes. Okay. So these ones look like they use rosé because they're like little lightly pink. Oh.

Yeah. look like they use rosé because they're like little lightly pink. So you can get around 300 to 400 gummy bears out of a glass of wine makes 160, so that makes sense, right? 300 to 400 gummy bears is how many you'd need to eat to fill the wine. That's not enough. That's too many gummy bears.

The whole point is not to like get boozed. No, I want to eat 10 gummy bears and then make some outrageous claims. Because you'd probably throw up from like two pieces of sugar. Exactly. I'm not going to be able to eat that amount of gummy bears. I want to eat one and it'd be like a shot. You'd have a sugar hangover.

You'd need to do like vodka jellies or something. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I remember my mum got tipsy on vodka jellies because she didn't know how powerful they were. Are they even powerful? Oh, when I turned 21 in our season, my friend's season of turning 21, we over the time perfected the vodka jelly. The idea is you boil with a lid, eh?

Because otherwise the alcohol evaporates. It can evaporate, yeah. And you've got to give it extra time to set again at the end. And go heavy on the jelly. Heavy on the? And you've got to give it extra time to set again at the end. And go heavy on the jelly. Heavy on the jelly because you've got to compensate for the alcohol. Yeah, so. Crikey, those things became loose. Yeah, well, I don't think we can be putting wine.

Wine gummy bears. Not into a dollar mix that you're handing out to kids. What about the old soak in the snake? What? What are you talking about? Soak in the snake and the vodka. Did you talking about? Soak in the snake and the vodka. Did you ever do those once? Oh, no.

You get gummy snakes and you soak them in vodka and they kind of take on the vodka. Yeah, because I've seen like bars that like infuse lollies into vodka. Yeah, yeah. Those things were pretty lethal, lethal barrel. You'd get pretty lit up on those. You just say lit. You don't say lit up on those. You just say lit. You don't say lit up.

No, I say lit up. I don't mean lit. I mean lit up. Like Louis lit. I'll give you an update on the lolly vote at the moment. Rainbow Strips are out ahead 56% to 44 milk bottles. But if we're talking about mixing booze with them, you could soak rainbow strips in vodka and you could soak milk bottles in like a Kahlua

or one of your more creamier situations. Okay. Or in vodka and make like a white Russian. Now we're talking. Well, let us know. Vote on our Instagram, FEMCDM. FEMCDM. Megan's been in a spiritual mood.

Not a spiritual mood. How do I put this spiritual mood. Not a spiritual mood. How do I put this? Positive? Yep. Enlightened? Yep. Trying to find the positives in things. I started out the year this way.

Year of the silver linings. And I can still find a silver lining, but it's mostly just to annoy people who are, like, frustrated with something. Because, you know, nothing's more annoying. You're, like, frustrated with something, and someone's like, hey, look, silver lining. And that's kind of where my silver lining, it's like sarcastic silver lining.

Right, okay. Is my silver lining of truth. I wouldn't say that you're an overly negative person. No, but I'm not like, not positive. Anybody's negative. Yeah, so I like, I found myself getting quite negative about things.

So I was like, this is, do you know what, the only person to blame is myself. This is like purely down to my outlook. because there's a long list of people who are to blame

for my negativity. I know. And there's always a common denominator, right? It's you. I mean, the common denominator

is all these people have done me wrong. You're there always. I am. And then I'm me so I can't not be there. Yeah, true. That's true.

Okay. So no, because we get up early, you're like tired, so I can't not be there. Yeah, true. That's true. Okay. So, no, because we get up early, you're, like, tired, and so I feel like grumpy was your default, like. It is easy to be grumpy in the afternoons when you're tired. No, but even driving to work, I'd find myself just grumpy, like, because I got up early. So I was like, do you know what? The only reason you're grumpy is because you're tired.

You can choose how you start the day. So I chose. There's two wolves inside you, Megan. In fact, have you got my wolf music there, Fletch? There's two wolves inside you, Megan. A negative wolf and a positive wolf. The one that flourishes is the one you feed. Feed the posy wolf. Not the neggy wolf.

Don't feed the neggy wolf. So driving to work, I've started being like, okay, we're being positive today. Today is a good day. How do you do it? Do you start with some things you're thankful for? Oh, no, I don't go that far. I always find that's a pretty good way of resetting the old mindset. But what, did you read a book or something?

No, I didn't. You've been saying stuff to us the last wee while and we've been, do you guys have any friends who went to Tony Robbins in Australia lately? I wish they had shut the F up. I don't know guys have any friends that went to Tony Robbins in Australia lately? I wish they had shut the F up. Like, these people, they went to Tony Robbins. I know three people

that went to Tony Robbins. Yeah. And they won't shut up about goddamn Tony Robbins on Facebook. Two of them have been hidden and one of them's borderline. See,

this is what I've found. Like, when you try and do silver linings and try and have a bit more of a positive outlook, you get like, shoved up barriers by people like Fletch and Vaughn. No. They're like, shut up.

I'm fine. You be positive. But don't try to make me watch Tony Robbins. Feel better? You're bitching to me about something, so I try to make you feel better. And then you just get even more angry. No, sometimes we just need a vent, though. Sometimes you don't need to be told the good thing

and the way out of it. You just need a vent and then you're good. Because maybe instead of, like, blocking these people that talk about Tony Robbins, maybe you can embrace Tony Robbins. I'm like a Rotorua geyser. Now, let me... Okay. Every now and then.

Yeah. Tourist bus will come and see me. Yeah. Yeah. But don't clog me with Tony Robbins. Yeah, don't clog the hole. Because where's the pressure going to come out? It might be a few times a day.

Or in someone's backyard. And then one day, someone's backyard in the shapes, and I... You know? Yeah. Yeah. So my favourite one is coming to work, there's this one traffic light that always gets me.

Okay. And I used to be like, okay, positive vibes, positive vibes. And then right before work, this traffic light that always gets me. And I used to be like, okay, positive vibes, positive vibes. And then right before work, this traffic light would always go red. And then I'd be like, oh, God! Oh, gee. This positivity. It's a thin blanket. So now I've decided

that when I get like a yellow and it goes red, I'm like, oh, I'm really early for the next green. Silver lining. Every morning when I get a red, I'm like, early for the next green. It is. Every morning when I get a red, I'm like, early for the next green. It is weird how when you start doing stuff like that,

you can start finding positives in everything. Also, like, it's 4.30, Megan. Red lights don't matter. No. Don't run the red light. Maybe not in small rural New Zealand. Oh, sorry. I was just being positive.

The red lights matter at all times. The rules are there for a reason. Please don't run the, sorry. I was just being positive. The red lights matter at all times. The rules are there for a reason. Please don't run the reds. He's on his bike. People on bikes never obey a light. No, I walk to work, so red lights don't matter then. Right.

Also for social media, like this is another thing I've started, is scrolling through. I used to be like, you know how you scroll through and some people get likes and some people don't. I give everyone likes now. Because I'm like, everyone is used to be like, you know how you scroll through and some people get likes and some people don't. I give everyone likes now. Because I'm like, everyone is trying hard on social media. Everyone deserves a like. So you just go through going like, like, like, like, like, like. What about the people you hate follow?

No, I like everyone's. Except if it's a big celebrity because I don't want people to laugh at me because I liked Selena Gomez's photo. I like that Selena Gomez photo. And Megan hit me up about liking celebrities' photos. She's like, I can't believe you like celebrities' photos. I was like, I've liked one Selena Gomez photo in probably the entire history. Because, you know, if you follow them, it comes up and it's like,

Vaughn likes Selena Gomez. It was like a sexy pic. I was like, cool, she did. I followed Josh Brolin, the guy that played Thanos in Cable and Deadpool. And he's got a pregnant wife. Yeah. And we follow some of the same people. And he likes these photos.

I'm like, Josh Brolin. Amateur. Amateur hour right here, Josh Brolin. Amateur hour, my dear friend. I like shopping. And I like loyalty schemes because then it rewards me for my shopping. I think you start addicts meetings with, hi, I'm Megan. Hi, I'm Megan.

Hi, Megan. Hi, Megan. No, see, I said I like shopping. I'm not addicted to it. I can stop at any time, but I don't want to stop. Is that counted? No, that's actually the first step. You've got to admit.

You've got to admit. Okay. So, yeah, I like loyalty schemes because then I get rewarded for the shopping that I'm probably going to do anyway. So I have lots and lots of cards. Actually, I have less cards now that Vaughn told me about that app Stocard that you put in your phone. Not everything can

scan Stocard. Not everything can scan, so just be careful. But I have less cards now because I think it ended up being like 32 cards or something like that. Well, everything had like a loyalty scheme. Yeah, I know. Everything does have a loyalty scheme.

This is why I don't do loyalty schemes. I don't even have a one card anymore. I grab a free one from that thing or they just leave one at the thing. Yeah, right. Because I've got a skinny wallet. Look how skinny my wallet is. Love that. You're running an efficient wallet. I can sit on wallet is. Love that. You're running a really efficient wallet.

I can sit on that and it's not going to hurt my bottom. Yeah, that's good for a guy because my wallet just goes in my handbag though. I don't need a skinny one. It can be fat as. But I don't like all the cards, don't you? Isn't it annoying like having to go through all of them? Nah, because I'm going to get a reward out of it. So the one I want to talk about is the OG.

Okay. The one card. So like I Swipe that bad boy Every time I go Unlike Fletcher who's like oh they're gonna follow me Or something I've got a fake name for my one card

Jose Rodriguez Because of your conspiracy theory Well I've read books about it They are, they track your spending and stuff Metadata You sound like someone's auntie I've read books about it. They are. They track your spending and stuff. Metadata. You sound like someone's auntie. I've read books about it. They track all your data.

I was listening to Leighton Smith the other day. In between light racism and Islamophobia, he mentioned this conspiracy about them tracking what I'm shopping. They just send you emails like you must be out of mayonnaise. You know too much. It's convenient. It's like this product, I know you like it. It's on special this week.

And I'm like, calm down, I do. They send me my toothpaste. I'm like, don't, you know too much. I'll just go to the supermarket and get it myself. It's creepy. So, when I went to the supermarket yesterday, swiped the card, I got the discount. And I was like, yay, cool.

But that's when I was like, I haven't had a voucher in the mail for ages. Because how often are you supposed to get those $15 vouchers? Oh, every 10 years. I just get, that's why I gave up. Like four months I get them. You must spend, I don't know, maybe I don't spend enough money there. No, it's not even four months.

Because they'd send me a $15 voucher like every year or two and I'd be like, cool, thanks, it was worth carrying this. Oh, you're not spending enough. Nah, probably not. So I realised I hadn't got one of those for a while and I was like, oh, I better go online and change my details. Because maybe then I have my address. Stop making that face. Hey, every $15 voucher counts.

No, no, but who's got time to be like, I'm going to get in contact with these people. See where my card's going to skew. Because I'm swiping this. I'm getting rewarded for doing my shopping and my groceries anyway. So I went online and it said zero points. I was like, excuse me. I literally just swiped that.

Yeah. So I tried to find like detail. I changed my address and I was like, this is not right. Like, why do I only have zero points? So I called them. Wait, when you moved, you changed the address of your one card? Yeah. Amazing. So they can send me my the address of your OneCard? Yeah. Amazing.

So they can send me my $15 voucher in the mail. Okay. You're so organised. I got a new credit card and I keep getting these emails like, your card's bouncing for all your automatic payments. I'm like, oh, yeah, that. Got to change that? Oh, yeah.

That's a pain. Such a pain. So I rung them and they said that when I got my new OneCard two years ago, I didn't register it online. You meant to register it online. Who knew that? So I've gone two years without. Yeah, she said, I was like, I didn't know that.

You didn't tell me that. And she said, well, it comes on the letter when they send it to you. So I've gone two years without any points and I swipe it every time I go. Oh, no. I've missed out. How ever will you recover? Oh, no. Oh, no.

I was like, how many points do you estimate I've missed out on? And she said, well, it's hard to tell, but I will give you. No, I want numbers. Give me numbers, woman. She did give me a $15 voucher, I think, because she wanted me off the phone. But that's like two years. And that's the one I swipe the most. Right.

Okay. You're not shook enough about this. Oh, it's just such a pain. Are you guys loyalty card peeps? But I'm not loyal to supermarkets at all. I'll just sluzz around all of them. Oh, yeah. I swipe my new real flip card.

Don't worry about it. And then account does the same day. I'm only loyal for geographical reasons. Yeah. Does Pack and Save have a loyalty card? No. Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing out.

I got loyalty boxes. Yeah, pretty much. Do you want a box with that? But, you know, you end up in your wallet or your handbag or purse or whatever with all these cards, like coffee cards. And it's like buy 20 coffees and get one free. It's like, stop it. Who was that sushi joint that was like buy... 20 packs of sushi.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you had to be buying one of their packs. You buy 20 packs and then you get a free miso. I was like, the place over here gives me free miso because I'm nice. I've only got one loyalty card. As I said, we've got that app. We put them all on. I've only got one loyalty card. As I said, we've got that app. We put them all on. But I've got one actual card.

It's for the local Thai massage. Just down the road. We thought that said something else, but it says Anna. Oh, no, she does that too if you ask me. She doesn't. So you're saving up your points for... Yeah, on the 11th one it's... Free Anna.

It's a special Anna. It's a free Anna Tyree reflexology massage. It's a special Anna one. But I've got two and I've got to get 10 and then I get the 11th one free. Oh, see, that's so worth it. Good on you. That's the only loyalty card I've got. I'm into that.

See, that's... But how much does a massage cost? $60 for an hour. And then you get a free $60 one. Yeah. See, I'd do that because that's worth it. Yeah. It's got to, there's got to be a good payoff for the loyalty card.

Because if there's not, it's not worth it, is it? I'll buy 10 goffies to get one coffee free. 10 goffies? I'll buy 10 goffies. I'll have one for free. But yeah, sometimes they're out of whack.

Yeah, the loyalty schemes are, yeah. How many loyalty schemes have you got on the go? On my Sto card. On the go. Just on the go.

cards, app, everything. Probably 10 that I'm like real into. Jeez. It's a long. Flybys? Are you hooked on flybys? No,

I don't have flybys. Oh, you've got to get on the flybys. Yeah, I do. Fly-by's? Are you hooked on fly-by's? No, I don't have fly-by's. Oh, you've got to get on the fly-by's. Yeah, I do. I used to do that back in the day and you'd get blenders and stuff. That was cool. Okay. That's a 10-year investment to get a blender. I was saving up to get a flight somewhere and got to go to Timaru.

That's special. From Christchurch. Good stuff. Stop it. Times. So, I'd like to know this morning how many loyalty schemes you're running. Oh, okay. Open your wallet, your purse, your briefcase.

You've probably got a compartment for them. On top of that, I want to know if anyone belongs to any silly ones like me, like you were saying, like 10 or 20 sushis for a free miso. That's out of whack. Yeah, that's out of whack. Yeah, that's out of whack. Your reward has got to be worth it. Yeah. Yeah, no one's sticking around for a free miso.

Talking about those addicted to loyalty schemes like Megan. I don't think it's a bad addiction. I don't think we should say addicted. Like really keen on loyalty schemes. Charlotte, you're really keen on loyalty schemes. Charlotte, you're really keen on loyalty schemes? Yeah, I am. I'm a bit ashamed of it now that I've talked about it out loud because it just was, like, my secret before.

Hey, don't you be ashamed. We're 50. So how many schemes do you reckon? Well, I actually have a few in different countries as well. So I did live in the UK, so that one's fine. But I also lived in Australia. I mean, I, like, travelled to Australia and America. So I have, like, the Sephora ones in both countries

and, like, the Mecca ones in Australia. But, yeah. We need to catch up after the show. So, yeah. Wait, so if you shopped online at these stores in Australia, can you still use the loyalty card that you got when you were living there? No, I haven't gone that crazy yet, but I do just use them when I'm in the country.

But how often are you in Australia, though? Like twice a year. Don't laugh. No, I'm not laughing. I'd almost have an Australian wallet that had the cards in it so I didn't have to carry them around unnecessarily. I've got them in a Ziploc bag. Oh, wow.

You are really... With a couple of silica dry gel packs in case there's any moisture gets in there. You know. You know. Thanks, you call Briley. You're addicted to the loyalty schemes. How many? I've got 20 loyalty cards in my wallet.

What do they range from? What kind of loyalty cards are they? Fly-bys, earpoints, three or four different clothes shops, the chemist one, health shop. So what kind of rewards do you get from the clothing ones? Like every few purchases you get a voucher, whether it's like $5 or $10 or something. Okay.

But then I just find they make you buy more. Exactly. Yeah, but you've got to buy clothes anyway. Yeah, exactly. So you don't get rewarded for it. Exactly. Yeah, okay. And then it's going to make you go back there.

So win for them, win for you. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's winning. Briley, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. This is a couple of texts about out of whack rewards for loyalty cards. Someone said, I've got a couple of

clothing brand loyalty cards. Whenever you spend $250, you get a $5 voucher. That's not enough, eh? Yeah, no. Like, what would the percent of that be? You wouldn't go to a shop if it said, we've got a sale on 2%. You wouldn't go, would you? No, no. Like, how much, what would the percent of that be? You wouldn't go to a shop if it said, we've got a sale on 2%. You wouldn't go, would you? No, you wouldn't, no.

Somebody said, Vaughan is a West Aucklander. You must admire West Liquors Plus Points. This is, you spend $1,000, you get a $10 voucher, which is like a 1%. I know, nuts. You are kidding. That's one. You're making that up. No, no, no, no.

It's not. And they love telling you how many points you've got. Do you want to know how many points you've got? I'm like, sure. They go, you've got 250. I'm like, sweet, only 750 more dollars to spend until that $10 is all mine. But do you get a point for a dollar? Yeah.

That is out of whack. I think so. You've got to have 1,000 points to get $10. Good lord. Yeah, it's effectively going somewhere for a 1%. Yeah. You'd just be better to wait until your alcohol was on special. Yeah.

Yeah, but you can still buy and still get those points as well when it's on special. But what's the point of even having a card if that's the reward? It's just not worth it. Yeah, it's out of whack, hey? And then do you have to give them the card or your phone number each time? Oh, you can give them your name now. They can search by name.

See, that's wasting 30 seconds of each time you go. If you have to go 30 times, 40 times, how much of your life are you wasting for $5? That's only 30 seconds to say your name. Yeah, but times it by 100 times for $5, Megan. That's still $5 I didn't have. Time is money. Someone said, my mum has's still $5 I didn't have. Time is money. Someone said,

my mum has loyalty cards for every shop you can imagine. If I go shopping and they say, do you have a loyalty card or a points card or anything? I say, yes, I don't have the card on me. I give them my mum's cell phone number

and without fail, they will repeat my mother's name to me and I say, yes, and mum gets the points. And then mum's like, did you get me some points? Because she not only has all the rewards, she keeps up with her points everywhere. That's like me and my mum. When we go and then mum's like, did you get me some points? Because she not only has all the rewards, she keeps up with her points everywhere.

There's like me and my mum, when we go somewhere, she's like, are you getting the points or am I getting the points? I'm like, well, who's paying? I'm getting the points then. We have an argument about

who gets the points. Yeah, whoever pays gets the points. Yeah, 100%. That makes sense. Hard rule, hard rule. Flesh, flesh, form and meaning Swipe, swipe segment of the show where you tell us about your awkward, horrible, weird first dates with someone you've met on a dating app.

Whether or not it's Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Grindr, whatever you're using. Any of them. Any of them. And how bad was it? Tyler joins us today to share her swipe mirror. Hello there. Hi.

How long ago did this happen? Maybe like two months. Oh, it's pretty fresh. It's a freshie. It's a freshie. Well, you take it away. Awesome. Okay, so pretty much we swiped right.

We started chatting. And then about like three weeks after chatting, we, you know take it away? Awesome. Okay, so pretty much we swiped right. We started chatting. And then about like three weeks after chatting, we, you know, decided to meet up. Pretty much went to his house, as Tinder goes. Had a little bit of adult fun, you could say the least. Okay. Wake up in the morning, go to work. And halfway through my day, I realise I don't actually have my phone. And then I'm like, oh no, what are we going to do?

I can't contact him because the only way I could contact him was via Tinder. So I'm like, okay, I'll just go back to his house later on that night. So I was there like 10.30 and I knock on the door and he's like, oh, hey. And I was like, hey, is my phone here by any chance? And he's like, yeah, it is actually. And I go inside and I'm like, no way. My best friend's sitting on the couch. And I was like, you got a spot, man.

He's collecting the friends. Yeah, and he's like, wait, what, do you know each other? And I was like, this is my best friend. And he's like, no. And I was like, yeah, she's laughing, we're laughing. We think it's hilarious, but we're just like, no. Within 24 hours, you know, like, come on, man. Also, why didn't he go and grab the phone?

Yeah, yeah, really. Knowing that there was a girl there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why he didn't just grab it. But he's like, yeah, come on, man. Why didn't he go and grab the phone? Yeah, yeah, really. Knowing that there was a girl there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why he didn't just grab it. He's like, yeah, come in, run around. I would have said, wait here, I'll go get it. Same here. Like, if that was me, I would not have had somebody else come first.

Yeah, because how awkward to make that. But wow. And you knew, okay. Unless he was hoping to really kick things off. Minaj. Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj. Do you live in a small town or are you in a big city? We're in Wellington.

Oh, so that's a big city. Because, you know, small towns, you know, it's a smaller pool of people. But to run into your best friend. But then, like, maybe she's your best friend, you're into the same stuff. Yeah, we are. We're the same type of men, too. Yeah, by all accounts. Oh, my God.

By all accounts. So did either of you see him too. Yeah, by all accounts. Oh, my God. By all accounts. So did either of you see him again? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wait, who? Who are you? I'm both. Oh!

Okay, so... At the same time? No, no, no. No. So obviously both of you gave him good reviews then. Oh, definitely. And we just kind of like swing them along to like make sure that like, you know, he didn't know that both of us were still doing it. And then we decided that, you know, we just kind of like, swing them along to like, make sure that like, you know, he didn't know that both of us were

still doing it. And then we decided that, you know, we're just going to catch him out. So we invited him to my house and then we were all there and we were like, hey, guess what? We're done, mate. Wow. Brilliant. Well, I'll be darned. We played a little game. Well, you've got to make

Tinder, you've got to spice Tinder up, don't you? Tyler, thank you so much for sharing your swipe me. You're very welcome. We're going to hook you up with a swipe me as prize pack. And if you would like to share a swipe me that you've had, go to our Facebook page, FVMZM, send us a message or on our Instagram and we can get in touch with you for your swipe me. Thank you guys so much.

This is kind of a culmination of what we've been talking about today. We talked about supermarket loyalty cards. And Megan going to the supermarket. And we talked about Megan's new attitude of positivity. Silver linings. Amalgamation synergy. These are where the two meet. Because Megan's got a story about being a heroine.

And you wouldn't shut up about this yesterday. Well, I... You're just being negative. I thought it was a really cool thing. Like, I didn't necessarily call myself a hero.

You were going on about it like you'd raised like a million dollars for cancer research or something. No, but I always think how weird it is

that we like walk around with all these other humans and we don't interact. Like, you're just walking around and there's like people passing by. But some of them are yuck.

Oh yeah, but like, if you, because I, what has happened to you recently? I don't interact, like, you're just walking around and there's like people passing you by. But some of them are yuck. Oh yeah, but like, have you, because I, What has happened to you recently? I don't know, but sometimes I see, maybe I hit my head.

She went to Destiny Church the weekend, maybe there was something in the package. They pumped something through the filter. And my Coke Zero. Yeah,

and then just whatever you're exposed to is your new attitude and usually it's, oh, Brian's up there having a preach, but she just caught

a bit of positive energy off the bodybuilders. Do you know how like you see people walk past and you're like man those are cute shoes and like I usually think it in my head

but now I've decided I'm going to stop and be like excuse me I really like your shoes. Oh why are you talking to me? Are you hitting on me? Yeah.

And I saw someone at work the other day and like he was wearing the like cutest outfit and I was going to be like hey I really like your outfit but I didn't because I was scared. But why should we be?

We should tell each other that we really like each other's stuff. Nah, slippery slope to Weinstein from there. Because then he'll go home. Everyone stay in your own lane, mind your own business. But you were saying don't talk to anyone and you were saying we should talk to people.

We should talk to each other and help each other out. I'm more like Vaughn. If it's unnecessary conversation, you don't have it. Well, no, I do it. I'll compliment someone every now and then everyone's like,

what did you do that for? That was creepy. I'm like, I'm not even going to try. It's just the way you say it. I know. That's the best I can do. You don't sound sincere.

And you're like, negi, negi, negi, posse. Negi, negi. So like when you do the one posse, everyone thinks you're dying or something. Yeah, baby, unpredictable. Duck and dive. So this happened at the supermarket. I was in my new mantra or something. Yeah baby unpredictable. Duck and dive. So this happened

at the supermarket. I was in my new mantra being like you know people are cool let's talk to people. Anyway so I needed baby spinach.

So I'm was it the I mean every great story starts with I needed baby spinach. Shut up. As you know from what I

I will give you two weeks of this positive energy before Vaughn and I just wear you down. No I'm avoiding No Vaughn and I just wear you down. No, I'm avoiding. No, we shouldn't be trying to wear you down. What are you doing?

I'm dodging it. So I was at the spinach. And I was like, man, there is baby cozz. There's like baby everything, but no baby spinach. We've plucked everything out of the ground, prematurity. We've just ripped it straight out of the ground. Well, I like baby spinach because the big one, the big spinach gets coarse.

Anyway, so there was only big coarse spinach. Coarse it does. And there was another woman and her partner, I think, I don't want to assume, because they could have been friends or brother and sister, I don't know, but they were there. Why didn't you ask them? You're asking everyone now?

No, because at this point, I didn't have a reason to talk to her. So I was like, let her be, do her thing. But we were both looking for baby spinach and we were also looking for... Why didn't you ask them? You're asking everyone now. No, because at this point, I didn't have a reason to talk to her. So I was like, let her be, do her thing. But we were both looking for baby spinach and we were both like searching everywhere. There was only big spinach. And I was like, I'm going to have to go for something else because I don't want the big core spinach.

So I left it and we were both like, we were both searching. She went a different way over to the kiwi fruit and I went further up to other lettuces. And I was like, okay, well, we've both missed out on baby spinach. That's when I found amongst the other

lettuces a little bag of baby spinach. She found a hidden cache. It was not with the spinaches. It was with the lettuces. Why wasn't it with the spinaches? It was the spinach nursery. I don't know. I don't know but she was at the kiwi fruits and I knew I knew that she really wanted the baby spinach.

So that I grabbed one for myself. And I grabbed a bag for her. And I went over and I was like, hey, excuse me. I know that we didn't meet at the spinach's. But I know that you were searching for baby spinach. And I found some. Would you like a bag? Do you know how grateful she was?

It was so special. It was a wee touching moment where I helped her out and she was like, thank you so much. I make smoothies out of this. She wouldn't have had her smoothies. And we had, as strangers, we had a moment. We didn't just pass each other by. We connected. In that one moment, we had a moment. We didn't just pass each other by. We connected.

In that one moment, we connected. And then we moved on. And now I can know all this week, she's got her green smoothies. Because she's got her baby spinach. You can't see your bow. She's bowing. She's taking a bow. So the moral of the story is we should try and connect with each other a little bit, you know?

Well, what you didn't hear is Megan telling everyone that would listen, anyone that would listen, that story yesterday. And people were like, oh, yeah. And I don't know if it's a surprise to anybody listening. It doesn't get any better after you've heard it once. It's one of those stories that you hear it the next time. It's not like a good movie where you see it the first time like The Departed and you're like that was a good movie and then you watch

The Departed again and you're like that was actually like a brilliantly told theatrical masterpiece yeah well Scorsese knew how to do it and then you watch

the third time and you come to appreciate like Mark Wahlberg's character and Alec Baldwin's character and all the little subtle nuances

of a Scorsese story and Matt Damon plays Leonardo DiCaprio probably should have won an Oscar for that one and like that's how Baldwin's character and all the little subtle nuances of a Scorsese story. And Matt Damon plays Leonardo DiCaprio. Probably should have won an Oscar for that one. And that's how The Departed works. That's a great story. Not baby spinach stories. No, it's about the message that comes with the story.

You know, it's not who directed it and who starred in it. Because it was directed and starred in by me. I was going to say directed, written, starring, told by. Magoos. Marketed primarily by. It's the moral of the story at the end. So today, if you see a stranger and you want to say something positive, hit them with it. You'll make their day. And give them that baby spinach.

Approach with caution. Yeah, approach with caution. You don't want to come in too hot. From the guy that's been called creepy, take it from me. You don't want to come in too hot. You don't want to come in with a nice, hey, you're here. Smells lovely. That's crazy.

My one is that somebody out here smells delightful. And then everyone's like, oh, what are you? It's because you're sniffing strangers. No, I'm just sniffing people. You can't go around sniffing people. I wafted up my nostril and then to indicate that I'm about to give a smell-related compliment, I go, maybe don't do that sound. And don't grunt afterwards.

Someone's. Yeah, don't do that. Someone smells good. Yeah, don't do that. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, I've got a song to play in the background here, Fletch. Oh, okay.

This is a song from 1997. Wanted. Is that an ad? Is that an ad? Most unwanted music. This is the most unwanted song in the world. Let me tell you what makes this the most unwanted song. Some scientists did a study about what people hated about music.

Yep. Is it the xylophone? Oh, I hate that. It's the accordion. Accordion. You know accordion. This song is called the most unwanted song in the world. It is made by, it's got cowboy people hate westerns, western sounding songs as well.

So they did a big survey to find out what people did not like when it was in songs. Cowboy music. Yep. Bagpipes. Accordions. Opera. Rap music. Children's voices. Yep. Bagpipes. Accordions. Opera. Rap music. Children's voices.

Yep. Tubers, drum machines and advertising jingles. And songs that go on for too long. And this is all of those? These are all of these things. When do we get to the rap? This is a 22 minute long song. So people don't like Western music, like in Western kind of movies.

I guess in the movies they've got their place, but they're a little out of place otherwise. I'll fast forward a bit. That's what I love about Westworld is how they take like Kanye, like, you know, they take like pop songs. Yeah. And turn them into like a Western.

Yeah. This is a rapping opera singer. Over a tuba. I could be in Guantanamo and they could start this. This is a rapping opera singer. Over a tuba. I could be in Guantanamo and they could start this. I'd tell them everything within a minute. Bin Laden's hiding in the middle of Pakistan. That's kind of cool.

No, this is horrible. This whole thing is really... This sounds like you've stumbled into a primary school's orchestra or music class and no one's really sure what they're doing. And then you have to, at the end of it, tell the kids that they did well. Yeah. But also they've chosen all these categories and they've done them terribly. Christmas time. Christmas time.

Oh, see, this is good. So this has got a tuba, kids' voices. And it's like Christmas music. Yeah, Christmas music. Also one of the things that people voted to be. Three months to Christmas today. Horrible. And it goes, that's only four minutes into a 22-minute song.

I'll get to 15 minutes in. Okay, yeah. That's a rapping opera singer singing an advertising jingle. Oh, okay, I'm done. They also did a version of the most wanted song at the time. Okay.

So that was the song that in 1997 had everything they liked. Yeah. Guitars, bass, piano and drums and to be described as Celine Dion-esque. Yeah, okay.

That's actually worse than the most unwanted song. So today's fact of the day is in 1997, some people did a massive survey to find out everyone's least liked aspects of music and made a 22-minute song out of it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Kanye West has made a good point. And like Fletch said, or Vaughn said, it's been a while between good points.

It's been a little while between good points. But this one, sparking quite a debate. So it was a tweet that he, oh, actually it was just an Instagram picture of an iMessage. Yep. So he said, there are people committing suicide due to not getting enough likes, seeking validation in the simulation. We need a live stream meeting with all the heads of the social media companies.

Speaking for myself, I personally want to participate in a social media with the option of not having to show my followers or likes. So you would still see it yourself, but no one else does, I think is what he's trying to say. So you get the validation of the likes without the automatic comparison to others. Yeah, he said.

And that's the problem, is that everyone's falling short of what they... Having your amount of likes on display for the world to see and judge is like showing how much money you have in the bank or having to write the size of... Yep, I didn't read the... Yeah, I read that. He had the bonafide yesterday. I just thought it was interesting that he obviously wrote this

in an iMessage to himself, sent it, and then screencapped it. And uploaded the text that way. Well, using notepads so last year. Is that last year? So late. But it is a good point. So we've run a poll on our

Instagram page, FEMZM. It's only been up for, I'd say, 45 minutes. Should likes and followers be hidden? And I'm actually blown away with the result. It shouldn't be hidden by default, but you should be able to opt into it, maybe. It would be good to opt in. 84% of

people that have voted in our poll say that they should be. And that's like at the moment, and it hasn't been up long, 1,600 votes to 300. That's huge. What's the negatives? People don't want likes out there. Because I can see so many positives of hiding how many followers you have and how many likes you're getting on photos

because immediately you're going to compare how many likes you've got with someone else or how many followers you have and how many likes you're getting on photos because immediately you're going to compare how many likes you've got with someone else or how many followers you have with your friends. So you would still get likes, but they'd be hidden from other people. And you'd still see them. So you'd still be able to see if you've got like 12 likes on something.

But I don't, is that enough? Because you're still going to get, isn't it a personal thing? Like you want to get likes. If you do something cool, like you post an awesome photo on holiday somewhere cool and it doesn't get many likes. Is that enough?

Is that enough that other people can't see those likes? You're still not getting enough likes. It's a cool photo. No, but how do you know you're not getting enough likes? Because the comparison's gone. But it might not be as much as, say, the last photo you put up. Yeah, but then you're only competing with yourself. You're not competing with anyone else in social media.

I mean, and I can already hear people saying, who cares about likes? The problem is they care about likes, but then that's a generational thing. That's how social media works. A lot of people do. Yeah. Yeah, because I've never compared,

not even on likes or anything, but growing up, we were always told, well, don't compare yourself to them because it's a completely different kettle of fish. Yeah. It's no use comparing yourself to the rich kids because we're not rich. So don't even be like,

why have they got that? We don't have that because that's not us and don't compare yourself. Yeah, but that's fine, saying that, but we all do. That's the whole basis of social media

is so-and-so got that many likes, someone else. That's how it works. It's all comparative. I've never compared myself to other people. I don't really do it that way. Whatever. I honestly don't. I seriously haven't.

Different horses for different courses. You do without thinking about it because you said you didn't get many likes on something. In comparison to what? But that's for me. I'm like, well, that's a cool photo. That should have got more likes. I'm not like, oh, that should have got more because Vaughn posted a photo. No, but are you saying in comparison to other photos you've posted?

Yeah, but not other people's. I would argue that subconsciously that's where you get it from. No, I've never cared about other. But I do understand a lot of people do. Yeah, but that's why they say social media has negative impacts on how people, you know, perceive themselves is because we're all comparing ourselves and our lives to each other. Even though you know that social media is like rose-tinted glasses, people's lives aren't really like that.

Just buy some of those new fancy followers that also like all your photos. They cost a bit more, but heck, the insights are great. But what would be the negatives of it if you took away being able to see people's followers and see people's likes? Well, yeah, then... There's no negatives that I can think of. No. Because you will still be able to see,

and people who are making influences who are making money would still be able to do that because they'd still be able to see. Exactly. They still get the insights and everything afterwards. It's not taking away the business of it. Yeah. It's just taking away that comparison. Yeah. I just think if away that comparison. Yeah.

I just think if you can avoid comparing yourself, and not just on social media, but like, you know, those people that are constantly like, well, the person my age has got that and why don't I? I should have that now. Why don't I have that now? And then you just make yourself an insecure mess about it. You're never going to win.

Don't compare yourself to others. Yeah. You all need a weekend at Christine and Ian's farm. There's so many things that go on. Can I get a good gram there? I was like, if you get up early enough,

you get a nice sunrise. I always think like, I was so lucky with my parents because they just stomped this, excuse the language, bullshit out. Like there was, we grew up no frills

and like the bullshit was just like, don't, we'll just, like, oh, well, thank God,

a motorbike for Christmas. And my mum would be, well, thank God, a motorbike for Christmas. And my mum would be like, you're not getting a motorbike for Christmas. Let's talk real here. Yeah, we can't afford it. Yeah, we can't afford a motorbike. They can. Work hard, one day you'll be able to afford your own.

And now I'm too scared to ride a motorbike because I didn't get to ride one when I was a kid. But I was the same, but I now live in a social media age where that just happens. You know, you can't debate that that's happening. And the point that Kanye was making was about people who, you

know, are insecure and it's not so much about overcoming that. I mean, that would be the ultimate goal, wouldn't it? If everybody wasn't insecure, but that's a fantasy world that we can't all live in. But yeah, just be yourself. Be happy with what you've got. And get rid of the likes and follows so we don't see it.

Yeah, hide the likes and follows. It's why we wear pants. What? Yeah. Exactly, yeah. I know mine's not great, but if I can – Actually, I do get your point. If I don't have to see everybody – I don't know why I asked you to flitch.

I don't know how much he's packing. I don't know if it's – I'd imagine the abuse it... The abuse against a loan would probably make Fletchers, you know, a four out of ten. Is that why you don't want to be a naturist? Because then you have to, like, compare. Yeah, see, I think if it's staring you straight in the face, you'd be... But then even then, I'm happy with what I got.

It works. I enjoy it. It does the trick twice. Yeah, right. So I think if we can take Anything from this lesson It's just Wear pants

Just wear pants Be happy Stop comparing yourself To others Yeah And wear pants And Kanye West has a point And Kanye West actually

Has a valid point For the first time In a very very long time Yeah ZM's Fletch Vaughn And Megan

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