ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 28 2018

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

Caitlin vs. Christchurch Car Raffle, Friday Flashback and do you have a dating rule you swear by?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Get more of what you love on the $29 prepaid rollover pack. And now, on with the show. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Nadia Loom's only 32.

I mean, she doesn't look older than that, but I just assume successful people have to be older than me. You know, like someone's doing really well, and you're like, oh, at least they're older than me. Like your mate Sam Ovens, who's always on Facebook. How old is that Sam Ovens? I don't know. Is he really doing well?

Well, it looks like he's got a flash office, bro. Yeah, yeah, nah, true, yeah. It seems like there's money there, but also seems like one day he's just going to be on the news for some real financial shenanigans. No, and he just tells people what to do. Like, I don't know, you get the targeted advertising. I do.

And now that you've said his name, I guarantee I'm going to get more. You slave your laptop shut the other day because you get that. And I'd rather listen to what Sam Ovens has got to tell me than what you do. Megan, that's not good because we work on the radio. People have to listen

to us all the time. I know, but not your advice. Oh, I've got great advice. You told me to get into emu farming. I did. Mostly because I want to pet an emu.

And I don't want to have to pay for the out costs. It was a terrible idea. I don't even know where they are. for the out costs. It was a terrible idea. I don't even know where they are. I don't even claim it was a great financial idea. I just claimed that I wanted to pet the emus. You need a very tall fence, it turns out. Yeah.

Well, you should have got baby emus. You went straight for big emus. I said, you've got to raise these emus. Yeah. They're your own. Don't listen to Vaughan. All right, you lot. Listen up.

It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines are for three interesting odd unusual news stories that I found online. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three. I go ahead. Headline one, daring early morning liberation.

Oh. Headline two, man just wanted to charge his cell phone. Hmm. And headline three, first time flyer, oopsie. Those are the headlines. Man just wanted to charge his cell phone. I think first time flyer, whoopsie. That's a bit of you.

I think I liked the first one. I don't remember what it was though. The early morning, daring early morning liberation. Does it involve nudity? No. Why would it involve nudity? I was thinking liberation. That's what I think when I think liberation.

I thought liberation means like, oh, I guess it means the freeing of, right? What about the allied liberation, Megan? Were they all naked then? They should have been. They would have been. Would have confused the Germans. Yeah, where do you tuck your spare ammunition in, though? Your barthole.

Straight up there. Hard for the guys in charge of that big cannon, but somebody's got to take care of the whirl. It's up. Trev, can I have a grenade? Yeah. I'm out. Oh, shit, that one's coming out without the pin go throw it

and the mortar guys those guys are dropping those things they go it's always great to start the show in a classy way isn't it yeah shout out to the armed services for wearing clothes and backpacks and having ammo belts. Bombs up your buttholes. Yeah. No bombs up the buttholes. No. Okay.

Bombs up your buttholes. Hey, hey, hey. I thought of that too. Don't pull the pin out unless you're playing the bang. Bombs up your buttholes. What is happening? Oh, God. That song would never be the same again.

That is such a great song, by the way. Bombs Up a Baghdad by Outkast. Yeah, maybe I should do it for my Flashback Friday today. Have we done it for my Flashback Friday? Yeah, we did. Only if we can change the lyrics. Yeah. Okay.

Which story? You've got some sidetrack there by Military Talk. What one did you want? First Time Flyer, Whoopsie. But I could go Early Morning Liberation. No, I could go yours. I'm happy. Oh, okay.

God, flip-floppers. All right. We go now to India now, where a passenger on a Go Air flight created pandemonium when he tried to open the emergency exit door mid-flight, claiming he mistook it for the lavatory. Now, other passengers on board the flight

said the man, a first-time flyer in his late 20s, began tugging on the door and said he really needed to use the washroom urgently. I'm guessing he was busting. Or maybe... But there's a window, right, on the emergency? Yeah, most... Well, I can't speak for all of them, but...

The emergency exit door. Oh, you know, some of them do have like a tiny window. Always a super tiny window. And it's like, is it magnified? Or it looks weird when you look out of it. It might be really thick. Yeah. Other than double glazed, I don't know.

Okay. Well, anyway, people realised what he was trying to do. They alerted crew members who persuaded him to return to his seat for the remainder of the flight. I'm unsure if he actually ended up getting to use a bathroom but maybe not because you can't open those at all while there's the pressure of the vacuum right at that altitude you can't open them until you're kind of on the ground again they're very you more or less physically impossible to open they cork don't they like they

wedge rather and the pressure inside the plane holds it in there. Oh, okay. Yeah, very hard. You'd have to fight insane amounts of pressure to open it once. Because I always thought that that's a possibility, but then I read an article about myths of a plane, and that was one of them. Right.

One of the other ones is getting sucked into the toilet. That won't happen either. But that's just the sound it makes. It's very scary. The flight landed safely. The man was taken into custody and questioned

by authorities. They deemed the accident to be, the incident to be a genuine mistake from a first time flyer who'd just never been on a plane before.

He was obviously a bit daft. Nervous. Nervous, yeah, stupid. And busting. And busting, yeah. Because you know that, you know when you

see a toilet, you can do really well holding on. This is classic me. I'll leave work needing to go to the toilet. Yeah. And then the minute I get on the motorway, I'm like, should have gone. And then it's just a fight against my own self.

Once you get to the door, you can sense the porcelain and it's like. Yeah, I know you can, eh? You're within proximity and the body's like, we're there. And you're like, not yet. So maybe you're dealing with that whole thing as well. Yeah. Yeah. Of being busting.

F.E.M. This is a video from here in New Zealand that's gone around the world. You just need to search seal kayak octopus, which sounds like a code, doesn't it? Yeah. But everybody's reporting on it. The Guardian, the Daily Mail, CNBC, from all around the world. It's quite a cool video.

Some people out kayaking in Kaikoura and a GoPro on the front of the kayak to catch, you know, how exciting kayaking is. Sure. On the sea, you know, it's just riveting stuff like at any minute. Here I am being sarcastic, but literally it was that guy filming himself that caught what has gone crazy

viral online. They can see a seal through the water of Kaikoura and then it comes to the surface. Lo and behold, it's got an octopus in its mouth and it's using it as an unchuck. And it spins around and slaps the guy in the face. That's one animal using another animal to attack

another animal. I'm scared of octopi. I'm scared that your suckers are going to stick on me. Yeah, because have you seen the shark versus octopus in the aquarium? Octopus takes down shark.

Yeah, these sharks were disappearing from the aquarium and they set up a camera and yeah, the octopus would like camouflage. The shark would just be swimming

and it'd come out of nowhere, wrap its tentacles around the shark and use its beak on the bottom of its head to drill through the shark would just be swimming and it'd come out of nowhere wrap its tentacles around the shark and use its beak on the bottom of its head to drill through the shark's head into its brain and eat its brain out and then the shark would be dead and it would skulk it away to some rocks and eat it under the rocks. That's why I'm scared of them.

They're super smart. Some countries have banned eating them. Because they're really smart. Because they're so smart. They can solve puzzles and stuff. Well, not the seal though. He had the better of the octopus, didn't he? Oh, yeah. Well, sometimes brute strength will win out

over the bestest of smarts. If you know someone that's like really dumb but really strong but you're smart, you're not going to tango with them. Yeah. How much is this kayaking going to make from YouTube hits? Because he's kayaking along

and all of a sudden, he's probably getting a few thousand a month now. I don't know because, nah, everybody's done that thing where they've ripped the original video off and uploaded it onto their own news website. And he put it on Instagram where he's not getting like paid money for the Instagram views. So he obviously doesn't care about the money. Hashtag kayak influencer. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello, welcome to today's Top Six.

Today we're looking at the Top Six classic pieces of Kiwi clothing that could be part of the new Air New Zealand uniform. They are in the process of a new uniform for the company's cabin crew and also airport staff. Apparently mid-November getting some new Airbuses. A321s. Yeah.

What's the difference? They're longer. How much longer? One longer. One longer? Like 30, 40 people longer. Wow. Than an A320.

Yeah, it's an A321neo. Why didn't they get... How do you know this, you weirdo? I just know these things. Aviation says jam. Why didn't they go for a completely new number then? I don't know. Like an A360.

It's like 21. It's next after 20. I don't know if you know that. No, but they go after A380. Chuck it in the middle there. Do an A340. But that's a whole different aircraft type. They just go up in numbers when they slightly modify the original.

This is like a patch. This is 2.0, 2.4. They're going up in numbers when they slightly modify the original. Oh, so this is like a patch. This is 2.0, 2.4, 2.0. They're going up slowly. Okay. Well, the current uniforms were designed by Dame Traleece Cooper. Oh, yeah. She's a dame now. Yeah, she is.

Are they opening it up to young designers like anyone? You don't have to be fancy pants Karen Walker. How cool would that be for your design career? Yeah. That's the thing. You don't have to be a fashion designer. You that be for your design career like that's the thing you don't have to be a fashion designer you can just be a designer with a bit of an eye for it

but also you don't want to pick up the contract and then you've got to sew like 4,000 uniforms in your mum's garage don't you good money it'll take you

five years or three flights I don't know how you can barter with Air New Zealand to design their next uniform sure but why design a new one

when we've already got some classic pieces of clothing that say Air New Zealand already? Okay. The top six classic Kiwi clothing items that could be part of the next Air New Zealand uniform. Number six, Barker's track pants. Yep. And a Planet 8 hoodie.

Classic, yeah. Planet 8. Back in the day, that was the Helen Stein's go-to, wasn't it? That was, yeah. Nothing said, your mum said you could have a hoodie, but here's your budget of $40. Like, ah, plan a date hoodie. But then you did blow all your money on Barker's track pants

because those things have never been cheap. No, they haven't been. That's why since the Barker family's, yeah. Rich, aren't you? I don't know, rich. Aren't they rich? I don't know. Is it the same Barker family that do the Barker juices?

I don't know. Because those are pretty good. Those are pretty good cordials. My dad loves the lemon barley one. Oh no, I'm about the blackcurrant. Mmm, blackcurrant. I don't like blackcurrant. Delicious.

It's sugar, but you know, what else? Oh, handy. But it's yum. Number five on the list of the classic Kiwi clothing items that could be part of the, I'm worried saying that,

I'm going to say the C word. I don't know how, but when you chuck it all together, that always happens. Okay. That could be part of them. Why are you saying that? I'm going to say the C word. I don't know how, but when you chuck it all together, that always happens. Okay. That could be part of the next Air New Zealand uniform. Number five, a $200 Hallenstein suit and shirt combo. I can't go past that for a suit deal. The amount of times I wear a suit,

it's just no point spending any more money on it. It's not going to last you a long time, is it? But whatever. Weirdly, the ones I've got are still going fine. Oh, okay. I mean, I don't wear them real. I really stretch

the buttons sometimes. Oh, yeah. You're going to be, oh, I think I've had to chuck a button back on it. Yeah. But that was my own fault.

I got very vigorous at a wedding. I was going to say, you know, after a wedding, you get drunk, things, you know. Yeah.

You hit the D4. But it's no harm, no foul, if you put your jacket down somewhere and you can't find it at the end of the night. Yeah, true.

It's not the end of the world, is it? Number four on the list of the top six classic Kiwi clothing combinations that could be part of the next NZ uniform. Swan dry with Canterbury short shorts. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. Welcome to NZ.

G'day. Tea or coffee. Get a mind. Get a mind. Get your bind. There'd be no intercom and I'd just be like, All right! Sit down! We're about to get going!

Get out of here. Number three on the list of the classic Kiwi clothing items that could be part of the next Air New Zealand uniform. This is a choice. Yep. You can have the white Afco gumboots that come up to just below the knee with a hard steel tip. Yep. Steel toe, which I've got a pair of and I mow my lawns in them.

Okay. I got given them by some wonderful and generous meat workers in Palmerston North some years back. Yeah. And they're my favourite boots. They're indestructible. Yeah, right. In fact, if anyone's listening now that works at AFCO and has got a size 11 that needs to go missing, I would happily take this off your hands.

Not that my last ones need replacing. You could just go and buy some. I just want a formal pair. I want a formal pair. Oh, right, okay. How much? That'd be expensive. Oh, they're still cap, aren't they?

From a safety shop. Where do you want your formal pair of AFCO boots? The supermarket. Oh, okay. You don't want grass stains then? No, no. You want to look your best. Yeah.

Or red bands. A lower red band. You know, the lower boot for those who have got a nice upper calf they wish to show off over the top of the boot. But also have those lines that your dad gets when he wears gumboots that wears the hair off. Yep. Classic sign of a farmer.

Number two on the list of the top six classic Kiwi clothing items that could be part of the next Air New Zealand uniform. Hiver's vest with a hard hat and a stop-go sign, singing in mouth optional, but if you choose to have it, purely decorative because you can't smoke on an aircraft. Yes. But how great would that be?

You go to get on and it's like the road works. He's like, wait there. You're like, no one's coming. Just wait there, mate. Just got to do it. And then it's like, yeah, no, clear it out, man. All right, mate. Are you gonna spin

that round? Oh no, I'm just gonna give it a bit of time. Gotta give him a bit of time to cool. Give it a bit of time. Just turn the sign around. And then they eyeball you and they go slow. And you start going and they're like, no, I didn't turn it all the way around yet. Alright, you can go.

You're like, you can go. And the number one on today's top six of classic Kiwi clothing items that can be part of the next Air New Zealand uniform. Ugg boots, teamed up with a Kathmandu puffer jacket, and a black hat that either says NY or LA on it. Yup, it's got to be NY or LA. No, they don't know the teams That those are for But that's okay

That's today's top six FBM the podcast FBM There's This is bad news This is This is international bad news For the gay community

Okay Being misrepresented You know how one always Ruins it for everybody Yup Okay Because it would be my It would be my preference, personal,

and I don't want to push this on anybody, but I think my personal preference would be to see it be easier for gay men to adopt children. Controversial, some may say. Right. The more conservative amongst us. But, you know, like a gay female couple, they've got ways of having children, don't they? But for gay know, like a gay female couple, they've got ways

of having children, don't they? But for gay males, it's pretty tough. But someone's gone and ruined it. Penguins. Okay.

What have they done? Gay penguins in a Denmark, a Danish zoo have kidnapped a chick. What? Because they wanted a baby? They wanted, yeah.

They've been in love for a while because penguins, this is the thing, penguins pick a partner and they mate for life. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. And so they have been together

for a little while and they always show an interest in the other chicks and they've been described, their keepers would describe them as clucky. Okay. Which I guess is kind of a bird pun.

Do they have names? These penguins. The gay penguins? They've not been named. They've got name suppression. Because they're in front of the penguin courts? A new penguin chick was hatched. Okay. And the mother and father, because this isn't the wild,

they never leave them in the wild because of predators, but this is a predator-free zone. They don't just chuck the tiger in with the penguins to thin out numbers. They left the chick and went for a quick swim. Okay. They don't just chuck the tiger in with the penguins to thin out numbers. They left the chick and went for a quick swim. Okay. And they came back and the chick was gone. And the gay penguins... Just look away for a second.

I know. The gay swooped in. My nail. And took the baby. And apparently there was a bit of confrontation. They went to get the baby back. Yeah. And the gay penguins were like...

Danish penguin talk. Yeah, yeah. And now they're just like, no, this is ours now. This is our baby now. But what's the zoo done? Have they taken it back to its rightful parents? We've kind of left it there. Because they're caring for it.

If there was any, obviously any. Right. And the thing is the other parents any, obviously any... Right. And the thing is the other parents can have another baby. Right. But these guys can't. That doesn't make it okay. It doesn't. If you're a gay couple who really want a child, that doesn't mean you can...

They probably desperately wanted a child. At the supermarket you see one in the trolley while the mum's getting the wheatbacks off the top shelf and you're just like ours now and you're gone. That doesn't make that okay. Like the penguins can't be leading the charge on this. But I mean, penguins are penguins, aren't they? They don't.

Yeah. On the topic of adoption, adoption is pretty hard in New Zealand. And there's a petition going around to renew the laws because they're over 50 years old. Yeah. They're the laws. And a friend of the show, Tony Street, is kind of all about this. I saw on her Instagram that Jacinda Ardern actually commented saying this is one of the things the government wants to look into ASAP.

Because it is. It's real. It's 50 years old. It's great for the gay penguins. Huge news for gay penguins. They won't have to steal babies anymore. No. They'll be able to file the paperwork to have their very own.

We may have found the fountain of youth. Not that I'm afraid of ageing. Ah. But I'm afraid of wrinkles. What? There is a clinic that is coming to New York City. Of course it's New York. Oh, I thought you were going to say New Zealand. I was like, okay, but now

it's New York. I'm imagining it's way crazier. Yeah. It's called Blood Boy. And you're going to have to be quite rich to indulge in this. I don't think Blood Boy's going to catch on like Frosty Boy. So there is I guess a scientist doctor dude who has

tried this on mice. So they've taken blood from young mice and they've put it in older mice, or the blood plasma. And they have watched and observed younger activity, like in older mice. So the young blood has made the mice essentially... You said doctor, right, not vampire.

Doctor. You said doctor dude. Doctor vampire. Doctor Jesse Carmesan. Oh, Carmesan. That sounds like an ancient Transylvanian name. Maybe. So they've witnessed this in mice.

So now they're going to try human... There's got to be a few steps between mice and humans. I don't like animal testing. I don't want to see a beagle strapped into a chair with an older beagle and the blood's going from the young new beagle to the old beagle. I think they say they've done a small clinical trial in California, but they're turning it into

a fully-fledged New York City-based clinic. Isn't that essentially what a blood transfusion is, if you get sick or ill? Yeah, it is. It's literally what they're doing, a transfusion of young, so under 25-year-olds' blood into older people. Blood transfusions are generally out of necessity. Yeah, but have they not ever noticed in the past that someone's blood has given someone older a useful...

But then you're in a bad nick. You're in a bad nick when you get a blood transfusion, so it might help, but, you know, and they might be aware of the effects, but you generally, like, would be lay up in a hospital bed, wouldn't you? Yeah. So it's going to cost you $8,000 per procedure.

I was going to say. American dollars. I was going to say that'd be expensive. So, I mean, if it works, though, people will be willing to pay it. Are they screening the blood? Because, you know, I'd imagine they need a... Oh, they actually buy it. Yeah.

They purchase it from a blood bank. But can you specify... I mean, I've never bought blood from a blood bank. But can you say, like, under 25-year-old blood only blood bank, but can you say like under 25 year old blood only? It'll only be a matter of time before first year uni students are strapping themselves into a chair and draining them into some like 70 year old billionaire though. Because they're like desperate for a bit of cash because they've blown through their course related costs.

But isn't that better than doing like a medical trial where you don't know? Are you getting an old person's blood? No. No. What happens to that blood? They just tip it out. Yeah, because that would be too much blood in the body. If you were just getting more blood pumped in.

Yeah, it has to come out. It has to come out. I guess you just tip it down the drain. Well, they like bleed the old person out. Yeah. Bleed them out, but old people don't stop bleeding. Yeah, I know. Did Nana ever cut herself gardening?

Oh, yeah. They never stop bleeding. You know, just scratch yourself gardening and it's like. She was bleeding for 20 years. She's just constantly putting a plaster on. Taking it off, putting a new one on every day. Well, they don't. In all seriousness though, on Blood News, if you're a O-type,

I believe this is both positive and negative now, the New Zealand Blood Service really needs your blood. They literally said down to last drops. Because you're not allowed to give blood anymore, are you? No, my doctors advised against it because I'm anemic. Yeah. But you'll be like, but Ron, you eat red meat. You eat so much meat.

Yeah, it's apparently a genetic thing that runs in my family. That's why I kept out last time I gave blood. Because my iron levels were really low and then they took some and my body was like, we need the blood. There's an artist, I follow him on Instagram, but he's kind of gone viral for... He does drawings of celebrities. Oh, yeah. And they're amazing drawings.

But he has shared the fact that in his private messages he is asked on the daily by people who consider themselves quite attractive if he would like to do drawings of them. And he says, well, I do commission pieces. So it starts at an A4 size. This is the price.

This is what I do. This is how long I generally do it. And they're like, oh, no, I was just thinking you could do it for free. What does he get out of it? So he draws like really ridiculous photos of them. Yeah. Because they always send in a photo of what they want him to base it off. And half of the people are sending in photos of them with the dog filter from Snapchat

or like the bear filter, one of the cute filters. Yeah. And he just draws it real hucky like a six-year-old would and just sends it back to them and be like, there you go. And they're like, oh, he was actually after more detail and stuff. But wanting him to do it for free, like he's just got all this time in the world and it doesn't take him long. And that's his craft.

Yeah. That's how he makes money. He makes money. He might do it for celebrities. He might gift them to celebrities and he would probably know that if they shared it, that would be good for his future business. Yeah. So he might do a freebie for someone that can help him get extra business.

But yeah. Not just for any Joe blogs. They are just all people. Or someone say, so he showed a message where someone messaged saying, oh, could you draw me? And he's like, this is the price. And they were like, oh, would you do it for free?

And he wrote, yeah, give me a few days. And then hadn't replied the next day and they were like, how's it going? How's it coming along? I need that. I want this by the weekend. And he's just like, what's wrong with people? Do they not have any value?

Do they not put any value to his time? He's just kind of like, you know, most of the people he deals with are awesome. Because I remember we talked about this a while ago because your wife's good at Photoshop. So she'll get hit up, eh? She, yeah, invites. She could do Photoshop invites.

She could Photoshop photos, design stuff. I mean, she's low end when it comes to graphic. I know other graphic designers, and I would say graphic designers would be up there with the people who get asked to do stuff for nothing the most. All the time. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd say tradies. Yeah. Tradies get asked. My husband gets asked to make cakes for free, which is crazy. Because first of all, you have to buy all the ingredients. Yeah. And then people always underestimate how much time it takes to make a fancy cake. Well, there's a time, but it's also, if you're going to make a good one, it's not cheap. Yeah. And then people always underestimate how much time it takes to make a fancy cake. Well, there's a time, but it's also, if you're going to make a good one,

it's not cheap. Yeah. Just without time. And then when you give them a quote, they're like, oh, oh really? Yeah. Going by a $6.99 sponge from the supermarket then. Yeah. And saying that, I did see a pretty ripper Star Wars $25 cake at the supermarket the other day.

I was like, that would do me quite nicely. Yeah, right. It's probably just sponge. So on the back of this, we want to ask right now on 0800DARLSATM, 9696, you can text her if it's too hard to get through. What do people always ask you to do for free because of your job? Like I'd imagine mechanics would get it too. Oh, hey, can you just fix my car?

Just a little bit of a look at this. And I mean, if it's your best mates, you'd do it, eh? Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's never 100% if it's Oh hey can you just Fix my car Just a little bit Of a look at this And I mean if it's Your best mates You'd do it eh Oh yeah yeah But it's never 100% if it's your mates You know Yeah I bet your mates

But it's never Your best mates Asking is it Also it's gotta be A mate who at some Stage in the future Can offer you Something back

Yeah that's true That is willing to Yeah Oh Imagine asking Like you do someone a solid and the thing, oh, that's one for the bank

and then you ask them to help you out and they're like, that'd be $200. That'd be two. I can't afford it. All right, 0800DARLS.M9696,

what do people always ask you to do for free because of your job? We're talking about what people are always asking you to do for free. Maybe for exposure. That's somebody messaged in saying there's a subreddit all about this

from artists who are just sick of people asking. And apparently for saying, yeah, for a shout out or for exposure is the situation. So what do you get asked to do for nothing? Some text messages in. Somebody says that they are a dietician. Yeah. And someone's like,

would you be able to just like whip us up a meal plan for the next month? But that's their job. That would take them a few hours. Yeah, you don't just whip that up. They've got to calculate all the nutritional details. And that's the thing they say. They did five years of study and they've got a master's degree. Yeah, that's a bit.

And then they say, you know, like, this is my profession. They go, oh, yeah, but just like a quick one. Chantelle, what do people always ask for free because of your job? Free food. Free food. So do you work at a food place? Yes, I do. Okay.

And they're just like, come on, just some chips, free chips. Yeah, free drink, free cookie, you know, free something. You know, and then sometimes i end up actually spending my own money to give them something so they feel like they're getting something oh no no oh you shouldn't do that are these people you know or are these strangers are they good friends though or second third tier friends not only just family like yeah the friends you can't pick yeah and can't get rid of without a mini-a-court proceeding. True.

Chantelle, thanks for your call. Is it Gianne? Yeah, that's me. Gianne, so you work in real estate. Yeah, and I'm not even an agent. I'm a PA, and we sell houses and stuff, and I always get people asking me for discounts on houses. Are they just like, oh, I don't want

to pay this much for this house. Can you knock 100k off it? It's like, yeah, can you get it for me for cheaper? And I'm like, I'm not just going to go to the seller and be like, yo, my friend wants a discount on this. Yo! What up, Vindor? My friend needs a house, you got one for sale.

Obviously, you don't want to make money off it. Let's make a deal here. I'll give you a shout out. And are they like taken back when you're like, no? Oh, they're just kind of like, oh, oh, okay.

Like, kind of like, I just don't know what they want from me. Brilliant. All right, Gianna, thanks for your call. Have a great weekend. Richard, your wife

is a massage therapist. Yes, she is. Hello. Which is great weekend. Richard, your wife is a massage therapist. Yes, she is. Hello. Which is great for you, I'm guessing. Yeah, but I'm kind of the one that's always asking, like, oh, I've had a hard day. Can I have a massage, please? And she's like, I mean...

She's like, $120 for an hour. Yeah, no, if you're buying the oils then, yeah, but no. Do you even have to buy the oils? But does she find that a lot of your friends and people you know will ask for freebies or cheap? Oh, constantly. Everyone's like, oh, you know, I've had a hard day. I need a massage.

Do you mind? She's like, you know, I've had a hard day too, but that's cool. No, you need this more than me. But we do that to Gary at work because he's... But he's not a masseuse. He's trained. He's just a guy that likes touching up people. No, but he's trained.

He is trained. And everyone's like, oh, I'm having a hard day, Gary. Does he? But that's also what they say. He loves it. You love helping me for free. That's what they say. Yeah.

It is. All right, Richard, thanks. You called some text messages. I'm an equine dentist. Quite a niche one, I would say. But I often get sent. Wait a second. A horse dentist?

Like a horse dentist. Yeah. Get out of town. Horse is empty. Yeah, but how many teeth do they have? Is there lots and lots? Because a horse dentist. Yeah. Get out of town. Horses have teeth. Yeah, but how many teeth do they have? Is there lots and lots? Because they've got long mouths. Oh, right.

Yeah, they do have a big jaw. But then is there a cow dentist? Like, cows are constantly chewing. But aren't they just vets? 40. They have 40 teeth. 40 teeth. For a male horse.

I bet they're big, big old teeth. A typical male horse has 40 permanent teeth, while a typical mare has 36 to 40. When you said mare, I thought you meant like leader of a city. Oh, yeah, the mare. A Phil Goss. A Phil Goss mouth's just bloody chocker with teeth. You should see Leanne Delziel.

She's got 38. All the teeth. Celia Wade-Brown, she had a lot of teeth. I'm out of mares. Tim Shadbolt. Oh, yeah, Tim Shadbolt. Oh, they had big teeth. Oh, Dave Cole.

32. We should have a competition. A ship came into the harbour carrying a bunch of regional New Zealand mares. Tim Shadbolt Oh yeah Tim Shadbolt Oh they had big teeth Oh Dave Cole 32 We should have a competition Ship came into the harbour Carrying a bunch of Regional New Zealand mares I'm out I'm out too I'm out

Oh no West Coast mare Guy who was on the news About Pike River Remember What's his name He's not the mare anymore though Is he not the mare anymore

Whatever Who rolled him I don't know Anyway we're not talking about that James Boner James Boner? James Boner? Megan! He's the mayor

of Poker Ticker. It's a family show. He's the mayor of Poker Ticker. Boner. Yeah. Boner. It'll be Boner.

Is there two N's? No, B-O-N-E-R. Oh, so it is Boner. Oh, no, no, that's Boner. Is it? A-R would be Boner.

Apologies. If it's not, it should be. Some other tips, so what we were talking about is what you get always asked to do for free. Someone said, I work for a brewery. I don't think I need to finish this text message. No, you don't.

You did right. Hairdressers. Somebody said, when I say I need a model to do something on, no one wanted to put their hand up. But now that I'm qualified, everybody wants it cheap or for free. I recently travelled south to Dunedin for the Pink concert and one woman down there

who I'd only even met once asked if I would bring my scissors with her to sort her out while I was down there. If you're going to pay for it, it's my job. Bridgestone Tyres. I work at Bridgestone Tyres. Always get asked for free tyres

or for pretty much nothing. Because that's how Bridgestone became a huge company by giving away all their mates' tyres. We're that friend that sold tyres and they said

the markup on tyres is next to nothing. Yeah. Crazy. It's the wheel alignments where they get you. I don't know that for a fact. I just felt like saying it

so I said it. I might be wrong. I could be wrong. I'm standing very straight today. You are, I would describe you as quite erect. Yeah, I'm, yep.

Vertical. Your boobies are like. Poppin'. Poppin'. Perky. Yeah. Perky breasts. Yeah.

Situation. Vaughn is wearing what you would call a posture. Posture support brace. Yeah. Is that what it was? Like a man bra? No, it's not a bra because there's no support of the cups. There's nothing across the front.

Right. It's more like what a 1940s detective would wear to carry his guns in. Except you don't have the guns. I don't have guns. Right. Which is good. But it's made you sit really. So I've lately had, over the last couple of months,

had a bit of like a sore neck, shouldery, upper back situation. Yep. And I went and got it seen to and I had to do these posture exercises, which I, but then when it came right, I was like, oh, I don't need to do those anymore. Which I'm sure any physiotherapist slash osteopath, chiropractor is stoked to hear another patient say.

And you know when you go to the physio and they get you to do all these lame exercises and there's always like 40 of them or whatever and you do them once the first day, you do half the next day. Is it like going to the dentist? They're like, you've got to floss. It's like, yeah, you've got to go back. You floss so hard, your gum's bleeding and a week later you're just gingivitis again.

Do you think they know? They're like, have you been doing exercises? Oh, they know. They know. It's like dentists know. When was the last time you flossed? No, no, no, mate. You did it. How long ago was I here? So, yeah, they know. They know. It's like dentists know. When was the last time you flossed? No, no, no, mate. You did it.

How long ago was I here? So, yeah, they know. They know. So I remember Bree from Bree and Clint talking about the fact that she'd bought this posture strap. Because that's what everybody's saying. It's my posture. I sit on the chair here at work and I just slouch, hunch over. Do you know, it's like a problem with a lot of people, like, because that's what

I had when I pinched my nerve in my neck. Yeah. We're all looking at our screens. We're all hunched over watching TV. We're all hunched over in our chairs at work. It's getting worse. I read these calculations about how much your head weighs and then how much, like, just changing the angle of your head.

Like, so just looking down and then slouching adds more pressure to different parts. So I said to Bree, can I try yours before I buy one? Because I don't want to buy one if they're junk. Yeah. And she'd said that she'd worn it a few times and not. I think people around the office have worn it more than Bree has. Right.

She wasn't a fan. So she's like, I'll bring it in. So she brought it to the Fact of the Day pub quiz last night. So in the middle of the pub quiz, she straps me in. And I get strapped into this thing. The straps get tight and immediately, like you guys saw me next time, you're like, you're very erect. And you don't

notice how much you would have slouched. Because I wouldn't have said you were a sloucher. No. But when I see you like this, it's like so different. Straight up and down. And I feel taller. I guess you are without like a slouch. You can see an extra inch of mine. And I can't tell that you've got the bra on.

No, because I've got it on under my shirt today. But does it add a bit of, does it feel, like do you notice it? Well, I mean, there's pressure in the front of your arms. Yeah. That stops you slouching. But also you don't feel like slouching, so you allow for it. And then so there isn't any pressure there. Are you worried that someone's going to see the outline of it

in public and think you're wearing a bra? Like a girder or something. Yeah. Well, this is the good thing about not going out in public. There's no judgment. Very rarely can the public judge you. They just see the filtered version of life that you put on social media. 2018.

This is huge news too, but I just want to like preface it with a breakfast warning because we're going to talk about poos, but for a serious reason. Science poos. Science poos. Science poos.

Okay. The secret to getting skinny may be to do with poos. Do more of it. No. Because you're getting it all out. Well, that's what some people do. They do the Metamucil, eh?

But then you still, I don't know. Have you tried that? No. No. My mum makes a bran muffin. My mum makes a bran muffin. And she always says, careful with these. These are dangerous.

What's in it? Yeah, right, mum. Bran? I don't know. I can get the recipe. Yeah, do it, please. There's a lot of butter And all that

She always says Careful Careful with these These are dangerous And I'm always They don't tell me how to Control myself on bran muffins And I always have two

And my lord Explosive So what she uses them To clean herself out I think so Oh okay Sort of like ovens Have self-clean functions

She's got a self-clean Bran muffin function Well this is interesting Because it's a New Zealand Research facility That's done this study So they looked at For She's got a self-cleaned brown muffin function. Well, this is interesting because it's a New Zealand research facility that's done this study. So they looked at four overweight teenage girls and they have developed what they call a magic pill.

So, of course, you need to do diet and exercise with this pill, but it's what's in the pill that's really weird. They've put human fa feces in a capsule. How did they get it in there without getting it all over their hands? Little spoons. Yuck. Little spoons. Yuck.

So people are literally taking these poo pills. Because this isn't a new thing because some people have to... Fecal matter transplants. Yeah, I didn't want to say it, but that's the thing. Because it's... And it's the same reason like kombucha is taking off and people are excited about that. Like gut bacteria and gut health.

There's not... We've got a friend at the moment who's really not well. And it's all to do with a wild imbalance of the type of bacteria she's got in her stomach. And it's pretty bad and really painful and stuff. That's why people take probiotics all the time. So we laugh about this sort of thing, but I mean, if you,

and people with like irritable bowel apparently can help. Yeah. You'd probably only have to have that for a week before you'd been looking for any solution to help yourself out. Yeah. So when they say poo pills, they're not actually putting,

they're like taking bacteria out, right? I don't know. That has to be doing something. Let's not think about that too much. The idea is they take faeces from a fit, healthy person and they give it to someone who

is maybe a bit overweight and it can change the gut microbiome of an overweight person. Would you do it? I mean overweight person. Would you do it? I mean, I'd have to see these pills. You'd be buying them

from the chemist like every other health supplement you get. And you're not going to taste it, are you? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'd probably try it. And if it's done

safely. Oh, did you hear that? Megan says she'd do it. Oh, gross. But I said I'd eat placenta if it could be proven that it was good for you. I'd eat it could be proven that it was good for you. I'd eat anything

if it was proven it was good for you. Well, people take all these weight loss drugs and they're just chemicals and all kinds of crap. Remember when I drunk that clay because all the celebrities

were doing it? That was awful. Oh, I think I tasted the clay. It was real bad. Yeah, no, but you were meant to mix it down with water. Yeah, I did. But it's still like a paste

and it doesn't taste good. I put mine on a pottery wheel and then just put my tongue out like this. Caitlin had an issue earlier in the week. There was a crash. And Bridget, her car, is a write-off. It's gone. And it wasn't even your fault, Caitlin.

Someone just swung around the corner and smashed into your car. And left at the scene. A hit and run. Any news on that? No. I've been to another police station and reported him, so I'm just fingers crossed waiting.

We did find out Double D's, the rego ran out in April and his warrant expires next week. So that might have something to do with Double D's 1996 whiteness impulsor running and fleeing the scene. Yeah. However, people were really feeling sorry for you,

the fact that it happened and then, you know. You've got no car. You've got no car. Yeah, I know. People have been really lovely. It's like your Fletch and everyone feels sorry for you when you can compare yourself to Fletch.

Oh, my God. I know. Who wants to get a bike? Public transport. If you have to get a bike, that's not a bad thing, Kate. It is when she lives on the other side of the Harbour Bridge. Can I dive over the Harbour Bridge on the bike?

At three in the morning, you might get away with it. But we did have somebody reach out to us that wanted to help you. Another solution came to us from Christchurch. Rhys from Stadium Cars. Good morning. How are you? Hey, guys. How are you doing?

Good. Look at Caitlin's face. You heard the plight of Caitlin. And what was your solution, Rhys? We did, mate. And to be completely honest, yeah, we've all been sort of feeling a pain and just having a bit of a brainstorm at work. So what we've decided is we thought,

what better way to help than to offer her one of our cars? For keepies or as a loan? I'm pretty sure she can keep it. Are you in charge of stadium cars, Rhys? You're not just ringing up

and being like, I'm pretty sure this is okay. No, not at all, man. I've got no authority whatsoever. I've got 400 cars in stock. Oh, he won't even notice. He won't notice.

0.25% of the cars. Now, this isn't a surprise for us. And hold your horses, Producer Caitlin, because you're not just getting a free car like that. What? Would you expect us to just give you a free car? Rhys might want to just give you a free car, but that's not happening.

Guys, please. Because you had insurance, right but that's not happening. Guys, please. Because you had insurance, right? Yeah, I do have insurance. Okay. Good. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Hang on a minute. Okay. Now, there's a free car. This is what we thought. We thought we can't pass up a radio classic opportunity that's been dropped on our doorstep.

Oh, God. Like an orphan on the stairs of a fire station. We thought this is an opportunity that's too sweet. So Caitlin, you could still have the car. This could still be your car. What kind of car again is it, Rhys?

It's $10,000 for the car, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's a 2012 Suzuki Swift. Sweet! That would be so... Oh, that's so chic! It's so cute. Yeah, it so, you would look, Oh, that's so chic. That's so cute. Yeah, it is. You'd be able to drive that to course.

Everyone that's got a Suzuki Swift is driving it to a course. Yeah, or the salon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hairdresser's choice of car. They're a great car. I've got a couple of friends with these. Yeah.

Really reliable. So you could have this car, Caitlin, but also so could the listeners because we've decided we are going to do the great Caitlin versus Christchurch car raffle. Oh, no. Next week. We're going to buy heaps of those raffle books, right?

And next week we're going to be broadcasting in Christchurch. Details to come. We've literally just come up with this idea yesterday. So I haven't even looked at flights, to be honest. So for every raffle ticket we give to somebody, we give one to you. So you actually have a 50%...

For every raffle ticket we give away, you get one. So you've got a 50% chance. Okay. So we're thinking it'll be Friday, next Friday, and we'll give you all the details closer, but you're going to be able to come down to our broadcast and anybody could win this car.

Yeah, you could drive away with the car. Yeah, we'll give you a free raffle ticket, but we also give Caitlin one. So she's got a 50% chance of winning. Okay. But then also losing. Does that sit well with you, Rhys? We should probably have run this by you.

You gave us the car. You guys run the show, so that sounds good to me. Brilliant. I've always liked that about you, Rhys. Very few people trust us, and you haven't met us yet, so we'll forgive you for trusting us.

Brilliant. Well, it's a great Fletch Warner-Megan car raffle, Christchurch versus Caitlin, and all thanks to Rhys and Stadium Cars. Thank you so much, Rhys. No worries, guys. Excellent. And, yeah, we'll get more details out over the weekend,

so make sure you keep an eye on the socials, FVMZM, ZM Online. And, yeah, next Friday, your chance to win a $10,000 car. Thanks, Rhys. Or me. I might win it. Friday Flashback. Flashback, flashback.

All right. My pick. Friday Flashback. Alright, my pick for Friday Flashback. Now, the reason I choose this song, and I think it might be controversial, I think everyone will know this song. Yeah. I don't know how they feel about this song, but I saw popping up on my Facebook feed this week that this band is doing an Australian tour

in November. See, the fact that you're like laughing about the fact that this band, this tells me they're no longer on the scene. Well, I haven't, I don't know what they've been doing since. And I only really remember one song of theirs. Well, they must have been doing music,

but none that we've heard of. This song was number four in New Zealand. Yeah. So that's, that's big. What about the rest of the world? So, yeah. Canada. Yeah.

Canada, 43. Okay. It was number three in the alternative US charts. It was in the US Billboard charts. It was 24. So it wasn't up there, but it was out there. There was an acoustic version of this song as well. But this song was played on the radio in like mid-2000s all the time.

And in fact, some radio stations might probably still play it actually. It's fun to sing along to, I think. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Are we ready? Are. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Are we ready? Are we ready?

Yeah. Okay, from 2004. This could be any song from 2004 at the start. Okay. Okay. Now you know it. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Face Down. It's your Friday flashback.

On CDM. Face down. It's your Friday flashback. On, sit in. You cry alone and then he swears he loves you Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well, I'll tell you, my friend, one day this world's gonna end As your eyes crumble down and in life she has found Red jumpsuit apparatus Face down Your Friday flashback On ZM

Should we go to feedback? I don't think it's going to be good No it's absolutely great feedback. I knew it would be. The self-doubt is strong in this one. Somebody said my favourite ever song is from this band. It's not this song. What song?

I don't know. Did they have any other songs? I don't know. No, they had one other one, didn't they? Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Where do you go, actually? I'm going to call my band Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Yeah, because what is that?

I don't know. What is that? An apparatus of some kind, but it's red. Your guardian, nothing else really rated. They haven't announced the New Zealand leg of the tour, but they are touring Australia in November. I'll tell you what chart they killed. What?

The US Christian rock charts. Really? They've had various number ones. Who knew? In the US Christian rock charts. Right. Well, it's very important. But you had really good feedback. People were like, banger. Somebody else said I thought this was Friday flashback

not Mosh Monday because this song has really brought all the feelings back. Really? Yeah. Someone said didn't realise I still had all those words in me. That's the sign

of a good Friday flashback is when you still know the words. Somebody said he took me right back to a year eight disco with a flamed shirt and DC shoes on.

A flamed shirt? And they say full of regret but to be honest you were year eight and there were some of us who were in our 20s doing that

when that song came out wearing DC shoes and flamed shoes. Alright, free fuel every 15 minutes of regret, but to be honest, you were year eight. There were some of us who were in our 20s doing that when that song came out. DC shoes and flame shoes. Free fuel every 15 minutes before we kick off Friday Jams at 9 and we're a couple of minutes away from the next batch of free fuel. There is a little hint, a helpful hint for people on online dating apps. A study has been done. This is at

the University of Oxford Internet Institute. And they have done this with the help of eHarmony, which is a dating site. Yeah. They have found that for men on dating sites, it is better if they are rated a 5 or 6 out of 10. As in what you'd give yourself for looks?

Yeah. Okay. Or like what you are. It's because you're not getting too cocky. If they said, what do you rate yourself for looks. Yeah. Okay. Or like what you are. It's because you're not getting too cocky. If they said, what do you rate yourself out of 10? You'd be better to be like, I don't know,

six, five or six? I think. Then 10. I think it boils down to the fact that most women feel pretty self-deprecating and feel insecure. Right.

So most women say they want to date one point above and that's about it. You don't want anyone that's majorly hotter than you. Because what? That's crazy. It'll make you feel insecure because you feel like you're going to lose them all the time. Because guys would just be like, you're a five.

Are you happy dating a ten? A guy would be like, beg your pardon? Is this a trick question? That sounds fantastic. I guess if they're not majorly hot, you're going to keep them easier. And you can do them up because they love a challenge. Like a Herne Bay Villa.

So they're looking for a guy who rates themselves as a 5 or 6 out of 10, not arrogant, not too out of your league. And with women, if you're rated an 8 or 9 out of 10. But then confidence is like, isn't confidence the most important thing? You'd think so.

I knew some guys who were pretty standard looking, but they just had sort of an air of confidence to them. Right. And they did well. They never struggled. Right. Yeah. They've said that also for both sexes, anyone who is overtly sexual is less likely to do

well on dating sites. So I'm not sure if that means images or chat, maybe either. What? Just, no, because yeah, yeah. That surely... It doesn't work for guys, because... Yeah, guys, again, we're the rule breaker of that one, because...

Maybe not, maybe like a hookup, but long term, you wouldn't be too into... How often would guys be overtly like that, Caitlin, on dating apps? Like, how long does it take them to make the conversation go south? Not long. Yeah. Like, every probably one in three.

And then so as soon as that happens, you're out, eh? Yeah, I'm out. Yeah, no, I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. Well, that's what she said. Depends how long I've been talking to them for. Also, just with the changes that Tinder have announced this week, you know how Tinder is trialling in India the option where women can talk first?

Like Bumble. Just like Bumble. Yeah. So women who make the first move on dating apps will most likely see less matches. It's not as attractive for guys when women make the first move on dating apps. And so even the first message? Yeah, the first message. They like to make the first move and women

in fact don't like to make the first move. But I thought this is why it's so hard. It's so confusing. They liked it when you were confident and out there. No. You want a guy that's happy with a confident woman though. when you were like confident and like out there. No. 15% decrease in interest. You want a guy that's happy

with a confident woman though. Yeah. You don't want a guy who wants you to be meek and... Because that's the hard thing is that it varies between person to person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

And you've just got to find that person that matches up. Yeah. Could we ask now if you've got a dating rule like that you swear by or a little thing? Something that works for you.

Something that works for you. Something that works for you because like that's quite interesting the picture thing. So you're saying even if a guy was quite hot they should put an average picture to make them a five or six. To make them a five or six

because the girl doesn't feel threatened. They're like, I can keep him. Whereas the girl has to have their best photo up. Yeah. To be an eight. A seven, eight, nine. God, aren't guys shallow? Yeah, what does that say? Yeah, To be an eight. A seven, eight, nine. God, aren't guys shallow?

Yeah, what does that say? Yeah, girls are minefield. Everybody can play this game in the dating world. Every gender's got their problems. So, I don't know, maybe you might not even be single now, but, you know, back in the day, you've got that one thing that worked for you, or you're single now.

What is that one rule that always works for you? The one thing that works for you? We're single now what is that one uh rule that always works for you the one thing that works for you we're asking you about those dating rules that you swear by uh so research done with a dating site has come up with some interesting findings uh guys use an average photo like a five or six out of ten photo make yourself um a little bit less attractive if you're a hottie and women um an eight or 9 out of 10 is what is optimal. That's not good, is it? That doesn't say nice things.

So we're talking about your golden rule of the early stages of dating, I suppose, and what works for you. Some text messages in. Any guy with a shirtless pic in his profile is a psychopath. That's happened to me three times now. That's a thing. You think you're learning and then... They reel you in with the abs.

With the hot stuff. With the hot abs. Yeah, one of them even ended up taking a key from my house and I came home and my TV was gone. Never trust a guy with a hot rod. Mia, what's your golden rule for dating? I always ask the question, what type of person were you in high

school? Because it really throws them off and, you know, they don't really know what to answer. And, you know, it's better to hear, because I asked that to my partner and he said I was very quiet, didn't have such a big group of friends. And, you know, you don't want to hear that. We're like, losers?

No, but you don't want to hear I used to be a bully. Yeah. But what if they can admit that they used to be a person that they're not stoked with and they've become a better person? I guess it's also how they answer it, you know? If they can say that, in hindsight, I wasn't a very good person. That's probably what I'd say.

I'd say, well, I'm a better person now than I was then. Well, you're a shitbag at school, weren't you? Yeah. Vaughn. Everybody had their faults. Everybody's got their faults. Sure. That's a good question.

I like that. It is. Yeah, I like that, Mia. All right, thanks for your call. Ask some texts in. Somebody else said, I'm shacked up now, but in the Tinder days,

my rule was always swipe right on a man's profile if the first picture is a selfie in nature. Oh, yeah. Swipe left if there's a group shot with other women in it.

Bonus points if there's any animals, particularly like cute pets. What about like fish that they've dragged from the ocean and killed? They're not really pets. They're food. Right, okay. Mind you, yeah,

all this happened before my time, but there'd be something alluring if I saw a woman's profile picture and she was tucking into a plate of ribs or nibs. I'd be like, hello. Even if it was tucking into a plate of ribs or nibs. I'd be like, hello. Even if it was just like having a new buddy

to go eat in chicken wings with. Yeah. Oh, we're not dating, are we? Oh, no, no, no. We're primarily just chicken wing eating, pal. Izzy, what's your golden rule for dating?

Hey, so you've got to send like a super lame joke and then see how they respond. You want them to have a sense of humour. My fave joke, like my go-to, like 90% of people I talk to is this joke.

Why be original? It says, why are seagulls called seagulls? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels. It's good, right? That's really good. I must admit, most of the time it's a pretty good response.

But on a technicality, they do fly over bays. Oh, shut up, Vaughn. Oh, so you're not getting a date? Yes, so if someone responded like that, I'd be like, yes, sir. And I'd be like, I didn't want to date you. I just wanted to correct that joke. You'd be like, yes, sir. And I'd be like, I didn't want to date you. I just wanted to correct that joke. You'd be one of those grammar people. He is.

He is. 100%. So fun to hang out with. Look, it's simple. It's you are shortened. So it needs a compressive reply. So if somebody replies with, that is the greatest joke I've ever heard in my life, is that next step, is it?

It's like, where are you taking me? No, if someone comes back saying that's the best joke they've ever heard in their life, you'd be like, oversold it. Later. Thanks. I like it when someone responds with a joke. Like, that's pretty good. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, because you want some personality, don't you? I see. When you're chatting with someone. To counter that, Izzy, someone messaged in saying they thought putting a funny bio and talking first was what guys wanted, but then a male friend said, take down your lame jokes, leave it blank,

never talk first, and it's worked a charm. I've just been really inundated. Yeah, the mystery, and a lot of people are saying keep it very mysterious. Okay. That's for females.

Females would be mysterious. Yeah. Take that with Tinder. It's so hard. Yeah, I know. There's all these rules Isn't it Alright Thank you for calling us

You do what works for you Yeah you do you Alright Any more texts Somebody else said Yep my dating tips One be attractive Two don't be unattractive

That always helps Well not all of us Can be tens My dating rule is Never to date another Jamie Ever again So there's one Jamie Out there ruining it for all the other Jamies. Such a popular name, though.

I know. There's lots of them. And can be guys and girls. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. That's a minefield to avoid. My Tinder rule is you need to have more than one photo because I found all the fake profiles

and all the people that are doing things behind other people's back. I only ever have one photo on them. Oh, that's good. That's good to know. My magic rule is humanity is a nightmare. I know. That's all I've just said. I feel like that on a daily.

Yeah. Just humans wear nightmares. Fact of the day, day think everybody listening who has Facebook will know what I'm talking about here. Today's Fact of the Day is about Facebook's biggest advertiser by spending. Okay. Who do you think it is? This will be interesting. Would it be like a TV network or a publishing, like some kind of media company?

Nope. And nope. Movie company? Nope. Is it something weird like makeup or like? Is it an online selling site? Shoes? Yes.

It wouldn't be AliExpress because... Amazon. No. But you're on the right track with AliExpress. Etsy. No. Who is it? Any producers want to weigh in?

I think Megan just said mine, but Wish, I would have thought. Oh, no. No, you're right. Megan didn't say it, but James is right. Wish. Oh yeah, you say wish all the time. You know, you just have to say something and then wish will target advertising to you on Facebook.

Wish is the one where I reckon they're the company that 100% makes me believe that they are. Zuckerberg was in the hearing saying, we don't listen. It's like you, we were talking the other day. When I talked about the massage and I said I had new undies on and I talked about Bloomberg was in the hearing saying, we don't listen. It's like we were talking the other day. When I talked about the massage and I said I had new undies on and I talked about jockeys and I've not written anywhere

and then I started getting targeted advertising for underpants. It's ridiculous, yeah. I'm just scrolling through. We said wish a few times. Wish, wish. Yesterday after I was talking to someone about borrowing Bree's posture support thing, I got a targeted advertising. So I clicked on it.

And now I just can't escape it. Yeah. Do you know I didn't get Wish, but I got something called Dish. Is that my accent? What the hell is Dish? Wash Dosh. It's a wash Dosh. So Wish is also the place that a little while ago was selling what looked like crack pipes.

Pee pipes. $2 glass things and they said it was for tobacco or oil or something. But yeah, it's like 100% those weird things that you see on the news every time they do a story on methamphetamine. So, you know, people have complained about it.

It's an app. They spend $500 million a year on Facebook ads. 2017 was their biggest spend so far and I think I've seen more this year than I saw spend $500 million a year on Facebook ads. Wow. 2017 was their biggest spend so far, and I think I've seen more this year than I saw last year from Wish. So to spend that much money,

they were obviously getting a lot back from it. So they've got a shopping app. So that's the thing. Whenever you click on it on Facebook, it's always like get the app, get the app, get the app. If you're on your phone and you click on it, it's like, yep, you've got to get the app to do it. They claim to have 300 million users around the world.

Whoa. It's the number one shopping app in 42 countries around the world, and it spends $500 million a year on Facebook ads alone. It was the most downloaded shopping app in the USA in 2017. They had 32.5 million US downloads compared to Amazon's 29.2 for apps. Right. Wow, that's insane.

And how many times have you had friends say to you, have you ever bought anything off Wish? Yeah. Anybody bought anything off Wish? Is this trustworthy? Should I be putting my credit card into it? So because of that, everybody just thought it was spam. They started sponsoring things.

They actually had a major sponsorship alliance with the Colin... No, Floyd Mayweather and Colin... Colin Mathura-Jeffries boxing belt. McGregor. What was his first name? Colin McGregor. Not Colin. That's his dad.

Colin. They also sponsored the LA Lakers. Really? Yeah. They've got a patch on the Lakers jersey Because I always saw them pop up I'm just like oh I don't trust that No I know Very untrustworthy

But they look untrustworthy Because they're selling $2 crack pipes Basically that's why I found them untrustworthy I was like did I mention crack And they're targeting advertising me now But today's fact of the day Is that Facebook's largest advertiser Is that weird thing that really target advertisers you Wish fact of the day is that Facebook's largest advertiser is that weird thing that really target advertisers you.

Wish. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We want to talk now about Megan and something we discovered last night at our Fact of the Day pub quiz. Yeah. Usually the eight rounds of Fact of the Day, the questions and answers, stapled together. But last night, for whatever reason, they weren't stapled together. All the sheets of paper were bulldog clipped together. Did you not find a stapler, Caitlin?

Because you've got this box of clips. No, because I like the pages to be separated so that we can take them off one at a time. You find a staple isn't good enough for that. No, and the stapler, I didn't want to carry it on my handbag. But what about paper clips?

No, because we've got two. They don't sell those anymore. Those are 1922. They're only for a couple of pieces of paper. Tops, right? You can't fit that around the thickness. Not a thick, like, inch of paper, Megan. But so the answer, of course, is the bulldog clip, or the foldback bulldog clip, which is the one I always like to pretend they're little planes.

And I land them, and then the game is to get the wings to sit perfect because it's quite hard to balance the wings without them flipping up or flipping down. They're like a triangle, and then the two is to get the wings to sit perfect because it's quite hard to balance the wings without them flipping up or flipping down. But like a triangle and then the two wings come off the side. You fold back the wings like you do for little toenail clippers. Yeah. And then that becomes a lever. Well, last night

when it was Megan's turn, I just passed her the sheets of paper, bulldog clipped together, and she was like oh, how do I get to the next page? Well, I pulled that thing off and then I was like, that's not opening ever again. I thought it was a one-time clip.

I was like, oh, it's off now. But how are you this old? And I don't mean you're old, but how, okay, let me rephrase. Thank you. How have you made it this far through life and never, ever experienced one of these clips. Because I don't work in like a papery office.

I don't work with paper. I barely write down anything. But everyone's seen these. Everyone's seen them. I've literally never seen that before in my life. I swear. It came off the paper and I was like, no, that's it. It was clipped on and then you can use the arms of it for the additional,

you can keep them going down the paper. Yeah, to kind of secure the paper. And I know those one-time clips as well. Although if you've never used a bulldog clip, I don't know if you've ever seen a one-time clip that people clip on. Yeah. And then when they come off, they don't go back on. Yeah.

I was like, I'm not alone. And I asked around and literally everyone was laughing at me. Yeah. Everyone's like, oh no. It's so weird. Yeah. I was like, I'm not alone. And I asked around and literally everyone was laughing at me. Yeah. Everyone's like, oh no. Yeah. And then so I helped you and I put it on. And then you still couldn't figure it out. So I had to actually take it off and show you.

That you flick those little clippies around. Back and you use leverage. It's very aggressive though, isn't it? It's very tight. Oh yeah, this holds your paper down. Like put your finger in that. It's very aggressive. Oh yeah. It's got a good grip. Well, you your finger in that. It's very aggressive. Oh, yeah.

It's got a good core. You want to know your A4s aren't going anywhere. Those aren't in every office, though. Yes, they are. They are, Megan. And they've been around for ages, too. Yeah, these are as old as... The old ball clips, the ones like a proper big one.

Like a big peg. You just squeeze. A white peg. Yeah, like a big peg. Yeah. Were they before paperclips? Are they like vintage or something? No, no, no. I don't know. Were they before paperclips? Are they like vintage or something? No, no, no.

I don't know. Newer than paperclips. But they're old. I'm not up with the history of stationery, Megan, but these are a thing. I can remember being told off at school for playing with one. Really? That's how old it is, Megan.

I've never even seen one before in my life. That's how old it was. As I remember, World War II was just wrapping up and the teacher said, Vaughn, stop playing with that bulldog clip. So they're old. They're old. So old.

FEM. I just hate the way that song tails down every time it gets me. I'll be sure to be in touch with him. Should we tell Georgie? He's full noise and then he decides within two seconds to fade it out to nothing. It's a swift fade, isn't it? No, it's not on.

That's just how I function day to day, though. Like a full noise, and then I'm like, done here. He just fade out. It's ridiculous. If he ever does an interview, I'm going to ask him to fade it. We need our finish out. Are we sure that's his issue? That's not a radio?

I don't know. We could finish our show with a fade out. And then just over. Anyway, anyway. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner, Megan. There's a new update for Google Maps, iOS and Android. Now, apparently- Okay, I'm in it.

Apparently within this new Maps update, Google Maps update, which was midweek, if you've already updated. You might not have. You will be able to plan BYOs and restaurant outings with your friends a lot easier. Okay. Now, I haven't used it. I'm just reading a news story about it coming.

The idea is that you'll be able to share a Google Map in your group chat. Yeah. Your friend's group chat, like Messenger or whatever. And it'll be easy for you to all choose a restaurant and kind of pitch in with where you want to go and stuff. Because you know at the moment it's like, where should we eat? And you name places.

Yes. But on a map, it'll show you kind of the location. It might even like give you kind of reviews and stuff as well. Okay. Like a rating. So you'll be able to then argue there over a Google map where you're going to have your BYU or your dinner. Would that be the best place to do before deciding where you are going to eat?

You decide where you're going to argue about where you're going to eat. Yeah. Meet your hair for a good argument about where we should eat. So that's going to be, yeah, in the new update. Okay, because there are some changes. I'm just looking at now there's like your places, your timeline. What is this? Rediscover the places you've been and the routes that you've travelled.

Yeah, that's always asking a lot of questions. They're tracking you, aren't they? That's 100% tracking.