ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - September 30 2019

Episode Date: September 29, 2019

Shocking news out of New Plymouth, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and what were you told not to bring to work?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. It's 6am. It certainly does feel like 5, doesn't it? Do you reckon I didn't notice? I was like wide awake at 4am this morning. I got such a fright when my alarm went off.

I was like, no. I think I had one of those sleeps where I kept thinking I was going to sleep in. So, you know, you wake up a bit more often. Yeah. Oh, life, eh? Life. It happens twice a year. I know.

It still takes you by surprise Yep it does Another $1000 for you to win on the show this morning with our bonus banger that's going to play sometime from 9 o'clock

We'll give you the bonus banger soon I'm going to keep an eye on the ZM Online Instagram The top six is coming up Actually we'll have a bit of a laugh but it's no laughing matter The lead singer of Metallica

back in rehab after being clean for a while. Noodles is hurting. Well, that's your brother. My brother Noodles. He had flights and all of his friends were coming up. I had hoped he would have released another one of his videos that he did. Like whenever the Brisbane Broncos lose, he makes an angry video, doesn't he?

Don't encourage that. When people ask me to see that video, I don't know where it is. I refuse to have a copy on my phone. It's out there. It's out there. So the top six things you can do to comfort a bogan that won't be getting to see Metallica in October.

Because they're hurting. They're hurting. They really are hurting. They don't want to admit it. This was their Christmas. It was. It was their Christmas and Easter all wrapped into one. This was their Hayley's Comet.

It doesn't happen much. And when it happens, you've got to make the most of it. That's a very good analogy. Just trying to think what else happens. Why does Hayley's Comet every 80-something years? Yeah. It's the Bogan's Hayley's Comet. It is.

Yeah. It is. And they're not going to get to see it as it dashes around the sun. Yeah. No sirree. That's probably going to get to see it as it dashes around the sun. Yeah. No sirree. That's probably an analogy lost on a lot of people, but I just remember when we were a kid, they made a big deal about it. Well, if it is lost on people, they should educate themselves on Halley's Comet.

Because it only comes around every 80 years. You should be, fingers crossed, alive for a Halley's Comet visit. I just remember it being very underwhelming. I thought it was going to be way bigger when I was a kid. They were like, oh, Hayley's Comet. Or my grandparents. I remember it very clearly. We went out and they were like, can you see it?

And I said, yes, even though I couldn't. I was lying because I expected it to be larger. And then I did see it and I was like, it's tiny. It's like a little tiny. It's tiny. I think someone tried to make me look at it and I was like, oh, nah. Go back to bed? Can't be bothered.

CBF even when I was young. Hopefully we'll be around for the next one. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines and as usual,

we want to make them deliberate, decide which headline, which story we delve into. Headline one, woman reveals Wi-Fi allergy. What? Headline two, chef dishonored by over cheddar cheese. And headline three, now quoting directly from the Daily Mail website.

Okay. It's a long one. Pervert who sent woman an unwanted picture of his genitals gets the shock of his life when she responds with a picture of her own much bigger penis. Wow. Take that, small dick. Was it her penis or just a penis that she had on her phone? It was hers.

Her penis? Yes. Take that. Wow. Take that. I see your little thing and I raise you. Yeah. This big old thing.

Wow. Wow. So choose one of those. I kind of like allude it to Wi-Fi. I can't remember the second one. Chef Dishonored over cheddar cheese. Yeah, I think there. The Wi- think there, the allergy to Wi-Fi. Okay, also back to the Daily Mail.

We go. It's a classy source of news, trust me. A woman is 70. She has revealed that she has a self-diagnosed Wi-Fi allergy. That's right. She's also worried about the incoming 5G technology. Of course she is. Now, she has revealed that when she travels,

because at her home she spent a lot of money keeping it Wi-Fi free, because they say you shouldn't have the Wi-Fi in your room, your router in your room. Yeah. Well, I've had that before, but what can you do, eh? Yeah. You've got to be in bed on Facebook, don't you? She claims that when she travels,

she uses a 400-pound copper sleeping bag because otherwise her Wi-Fi... 400-pound cost, not weight. Yeah, weight. Cost. Sorry, yeah, cost. Otherwise, she claims the Wi-Fi will leave her weak and short of breath.

So she'll quite often do a bit of travelling with her husband on the ferry to UK to Spain. And she, the picture of her, he's sleeping on the floor with her copper sleeping bag. So she sleeps on the floor as well? Or she'd put that on a bed? Well, no, it's on the, I think, on the floor on the ferry. They don't have beds.

This is ridiculous for a start. Yeah. But she has to haul that thing around everywhere. What a pain to travel with. Yeah, she claims she's protecting herself against electromagnetic radiation. And yeah, just says that it makes her feel weak if she doesn't use that. So yeah. Right.

But self-diagnosed. Self-diagnosed. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And then also wondering what the future will bring when they roll out 5G technology. Does her husband sleep in one of those as well? No, I think he's just like,

I'll leave you to it, love. Oh, yeah. You'd be like, oh, all right. Yeah, I bet he's heard a lot about how you do it. But apparently, yeah, there are people that apparently can suffer from EMF sensitivity, electromagnetic field sensitivity. But yeah, they reckon maybe 4% of the world, 4% of people.

I do actually have a story about a celebrity who has an EMF allergy coming up later in the latest. What, and they've actually been diagnosed by? No, they were self-diagnosed again. Ah, okay, right. Someone who believes they suffer from this exact illness. Right. See, I'd rather feel a bit tired.

I mean, I feel tired anyway, so. Feel tired from all the Netflix I'm watching. Maybe we've got the electromagnetic. Yeah, but you'd trade that off just to get, you know, Wi-Fi on the couch, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah, but you'd trade that off just to get, you know, Wi-Fi on the couch, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. There's a new, relatively new Auckland suburb called Hobsonville Point.

I was there at the weekend. I'm a big fan of Hobsonville Point. You were there at the weekend because you were trying to figure out where James is moving. That's every time I go to Hobsonville Point, I try to figure out which one's Producer James' house. Producer James. When are you moving there, Producer James?

What, later this year? Okay, because they're still building it. You tell me, Fletch. It's a touchy subject. Very soon. Very soon. Very soon. Now, you might, I don't know if you know this, James,

but there's an issue with the washing. This was a debate in my soon-to-be household over the weekend. Yeah. So we're in the stage where we're trying to find where to put our clothesline. And there's a few spots that we can put it, and one of the spots

would be exposed to a private lane. So I saw this article and I thought, well, that cements it. You don't want your knickers hanging up when people are driving past, do you? But a private lane's a bit different to a road. A private lane would be all right. I mean, people are still going to see it, but it's not going to be on the main road.

Or you're getting car fumes. Yeah, no, but that's it. Or on all your clothes. If we put it in another place, then it's going to be right on top of our bins. And all our washing's going to stand up at the bins. No, no, no, no, no. You keep your washing away from your bins. Well, this is why it's in the news, isn't it?

This very problem. Yes, your washing away from your bed. Well, this is why it's in the news, isn't it? This very problem. Yes, because this is a new neighbourhood and it's quite dense housing compared to other suburbs of Auckland. And there is the Homsomville Point Residence Society, herpes, as they're otherwise known. That's what it looks like when it's written down. Oh, yeah. Herpers.

Herpers. Herpers. Good, herpers. It's written down. Oh, yeah. Hair pairs. Hair pairs. Hair pairs. Get hair pairs. So, hair pairs have said that there are rules in place where you're not to just have your laundry everywhere. Like, if you've got balconies, you can't line it with washing lines and have washing hanging everywhere. And people are moving in and they're not aware of the rules.

And then they have to be the people that knock on the door and be like, you're not allowed to hang your washing line. So are you allowed a washing line? Yes. Oh, you are. Okay. You are allowed a washing line. And like James said, if it's at the back of the house and exposed only to a private lane,

then that's fine. Yeah. But they're more worried about people who will line balconies with clothes horses or have like a washing line on their balcony. They said it obviously looks a little bit scruffy. You know, you want your clothes in the sun, like to dry. That's a good point, Megan, because there's no point hanging it around the back

if that's not going to get sun. Yeah. But it's like living in an apartment, there are rules. The body corp have rules. Yes. Because otherwise your apartment block looks like a big slum if people are hanging everything off the balconies. Because there's all kinds of rules.

There are big apartment buildings, you're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to hang things out the window, off the balcony. And it's really crazy in Auckland and other sub-Wellington as well when you go past an apartment block and it's a nice day and it's north-facing and it just looks like a laundry, like a massive laundry unit. But then you should be able

to put your clothes on the balcony. Because it's temporary. That's fine, that's fine. Oh, according to who though? Yeah, I don't know, but that's something it can look a bit like. Because I don't even like it when I see an apartment building

and everyone's got different outdoor furniture. And some people have like hedges or big plants and other people don't. Or some people put up a real tacky. I'm just like, oh, yuck, it doesn't all match. But then that's the problem. Like these are also people's homes that they've purchased. So you can't tell someone what to do inside their house, can you? No.

Unless there's a covenant. No, a lot of apartment buildings do have rules about what you can put out. Right. Even what kind of curtains you can have and stuff. What do you mean? What kind of curtains? No neck curtains? No, like all curtains have to be white backing or something.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. I think that's one for our apartment building. Because otherwise then it looks all, you might get, I don't know, some boomers that put up a floral curtain or something. Horrible. Oh, but boomers are massive fans of a net as well. They love a net curtain, yeah.

That would be my main rule is that half people would have nets. Yeah. That would be probably better. But then you've got to dry your washing. Yeah. You've got to put it somewhere, don't you? Teething problems in your neighbourhood. God, those herpes people sound like so much fun.

Imagine if herpes knocked on your door. Oh, God. Peter, bring your washing in. Hey, my name's Barbara. I'm just from herpes.

That's the Hubsville Point Residence Society. That's right, we never go away. You think we're gone and then we're back to tell you

that you've got your bins out and it's not bins day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan it's not bins day. There's been a study from the Pennsylvania State University. They've looked into how poor sleep can affect you, which is great after we've just lost an hour of sleep. This is why everyone up at this time of the day needs to hear. Yeah. So if you have just four nights of poor sleep, it can make you gain weight.

Four nights a week? Yeah. Oh, well, that's fine. We do that five times, don't we? Yeah. Well, that's an excuse at least. But we're talking like no more than five hours sleep. Oh, okay.

Right, right. I get six. I'm dancing on a fine line here. Do you only sleep six hours a night? Yeah. Yeah, I don't sleep. Is that all you need? No, I need more than that.

Go to bed earlier. No, but I can't. I go to bed earlier and I just lie there awake. It's like a really set time where I'm like, I'm going to sleep. And then even when we don't have to get up. Are you really sleeping in the afternoon? And you're like, no, I can't go to sleep now because it means I won't be able to sleep later.

And then you get into bed and your brain's like, have you thought about someone that you haven't seen in 25 years today? You're like, no, I haven't. And your brain's like, you should look them up on Facebook. See what they're doing. You're like, not now. It's like, well, I'm going to keep you awake till you do. Okay, not that specific.

Yeah, but I don't like it. That was just an example of what happened to me last night. Right. What happened to that guy that bought our family's go-kart in 1996? Oh, my God. Found him. What happened to him? He's just around.

He likes BMWs. He's a welder. Right. That's so weird that you stalked him. Well, I had to. My brain was like, what's Bruce Perkinson up to? Oh my god. That you even remember his full name. I know, it was really weird.

But was he a family friend or was he just someone from Travian? No, no, his dad came and did something and he said, what's the story with your go-kart? And dad's like, oh, it's buggered. And he's like, oh, take it off your hands. And dad's like, okay. How do you even remember that? Because I was like, where's my go-kart and dad's like, oh, it's buggered. And he's like, oh, take it off your hands. And dad's like, okay. How do you even remember that? Because I was like, where's my go-kart?

And your brain last night. Dad's like, oh, it wasn't working. I gave it to Bruce Perkins instead. Oh, so it was a traumatic event in your childhood. It panged me and then I don't know what made me think of it last night. Oh my God. Okay. So I had to look it up at home. Maybe you should go and buy a go-kart. I'm thinking my God. Okay. So I had to look him up. Maybe you should go

and buy a go-kart. I'm thinking about it. Yeah. You've got to ride on a lawnmower. That's a go-kart technically. No, it's not. It's as fast as a go-kart. Right.

What else can I do to avoid thinking of Bruce Bergens? So if you, so the study they did, they said men felt less satisfied when they ate a meal

while they were sleep deprived than when they did when they were well rested. That's what I've always found about being tired is you can't rationalise with yourself on not making poor eating choices. Yeah. Like when you're well rested and you've exercised and stuff, you're like, okay, I'm on a roll. I'm sleeping well. I'm exercising.

I'm just going to eat well as well. But when none of that's happening. It's like rationality goes out the window when you're tired. This is just going to be another one of those days. I'm going to eat well as well. But when none of that's happening. It's like rationality goes out the window when you're tired. This is just going to be another one of those days. I want to eat chocolate. Yeah. So it's not only choices though. So eating the meals when sleep deprived lead to higher insulin levels

and the body taking fat from the food more quickly. So when you're tired and you eat something fatty, it's like, no, no, no, no, I need it. I need all the fat. And so literally it can lead to weight gain and it could be one of the causes of obesity. We need some sleep. We need to sleep.

Sleep more. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Shoreland Street opened its doors to the public over the weekend. The big open day? The big open day. So you could go and meet some of the cast and look behind the scenes of the weekend. The big open day? The big open day. So you could go and meet some of the cast and look behind the scenes of the set and

some people queued for hours. So they expected to see 10,000 people but the queue was like literally snaked all around West Auckland. Down that street. Because I heard some people were waiting hours, like four.

So one guy actually flew from Australia when the public, when it was announced that this was going to be open to the public. Yeah. Yeah, I saw some people who work at Shortland Street saying there were people who had flown up from Invercargill and Christchurch. Yeah, all around New Zealand. Wow. But also from Australia.

Big fans. Yeah. But you would have been waiting a wee while to see it. I mean, it's pretty, like we've gone a couple of times and it is every time. It's pretty cool. Just mind-blowing just to see a TV set. Yeah.

Let alone the familiar aspect of Shortland Street. Yeah. The hospital that we've all seen on the telly. Yeah. It does kind of, I find it hard when you see a set though because then you can, when you see it again on TV,

you're like, oh, there's nothing behind that. Or the elevator, it doesn't work. Yeah. It's just two people pulling a panel. And then they make a ding noise. Yeah.

Yeah, the ding's added later, isn't it? Yeah. Some of the magic goes when you see it in real life, I think. Yeah. But it is quite exciting. People must have loved it.

It was a huge line. Huge queues. Someone I used to flat with went and said, yeah, the line was insane. They put up some photos. It was crazy.

But all the cast and crew were apparently very welcoming. Yeah, they were just there on the line. You went past, got photos.

They must have done like 10,000 photos. Yeah, they were just there on the line. You went past, got photos. They must have done like 10,000 photos. Yeah. They were doing it again then, do you think? Well, I thought, why don't they charge? Like an entry fee. Or like $10. Yeah.

But ever since you opened a cafe, you want to charge for everything. It was like, there's this huge queue of people that would pay like $5, $10. I was like, did they charge for this? No, it was free. But then I've also seen it as sometimes they'll do like a set tour. Like a charity? Yeah. Like a charity auction or something.

Yeah, true. So it's kind of good keeping a bit of that exclusivity to it. Yeah. How do they feed all those people? Are there food trucks on hand? Or were they nipping through the... I don't know, actually. You had to bring your own snacks, I think.

Oh, you had to prep. Had to prep. Yeah. Bring a picnic basket for your short and straight queue. Or just grab some food at the cafeteria. Yeah, I tried once. Those apples aren't real. Not real.

Sad, isn't it? They just move them around to make it look like they've added new apples to the mix. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. It is announced over the weekend that Metallica will not be playing their October 31st show in New Zealand.

Disappointing many. Australia as well. They cancelled then. Yeah. Was there a few gigs in Australia, right? Yeah. They got cancelled as well as New Zealand.

James, the lead singer of Metallica, re-entering rehab after a long battle with addiction. But the top six ways to comfort a bogan because they're upset. And a lot of the time they don't know how to express their feelings. Yeah. So this is the top six ways to comfort a hurting bogan. Number six, approach them slowly for a hug,

but let them smell your hand first so they know you're not to be considered dangerous. Never surprise a bogan with a hug and never step on their tail. Yeah. And if they bite you, they've got a locked jaw, so you have to pull apart their front legs

to get them to release or put a finger up their butthole to make them release. Okay, so it's very important to remember about being bitten by a bogan. Yeah. Then you've got to go to the doctor because their mouths

could have bacteria in them. So it's just something to consider. Okay, so approach them for a hug but take those safety steps first. Number five on the list of the top six ways to comfort a bogan. Remind them of all the other great bands that they still have to listen to.

Mega Deef. Yeah, that's how it's said. It's spelt that way. Yeah. Always been too scared to ask because I'm from Morrinsville. I should know that. I should have been born knowing that. Yeah.

Slayer, Pantera, Anthrax. Pantera. Motorhead, Black Sabbath. So many great bands that sound like the names of weeds that your mum's constantly whinging about in the garden. Oh, the bloody anthrax is back. Although that is a plant, that's like a very poisonous plant that can be turned into a very dangerous poison.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to comfort a hurting bogan are offer to comb their mullets for them. Oh, that would be nice. So it gets nice and poofy. And then you get a photo of a lovely angle, maybe with the sun glistening through it. Yeah. Really shows up the wavy curls of the mule.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to comfort a bogan. Play them some calming music from a selection of calming bogan sounds on a YouTube playlist. There's, because, you know, mostly it's like rainforest music or like the sound of the ocean. So there's, these are the ones on the Bogan calming sounds YouTube soundtrack. There's 10 hours straight of V8s and supercharged V6s doing skids, for example. That'll put a Bogan baby to sleep.

Yeah, just like that. There's also engine that's not in a car just sitting on something in the garage being ringed out okay yeah for eight hours

yeah that's a good one because you get the reverberation of in the garage yeah lovely really loud and all you know

it takes up everything I hope you're ready for death threats and another one on the YouTube soundtrack the sounds of wearing jeans at the beach for 10 hours straight. It's so relaxing.

You can almost feel how sweaty your gooch would be if you were wearing jeans. Black jeans at the beach. Black, of course. And you're not taking your boots off. No. Number two on the list are the top six ways to comfort a hurting bogan. Now this one, because these have all so far,

that you don't have to spend money on it, but sometimes it's nice to spend money on something. New black singlet. Oh, that's nice. Treat yourself. They'd really appreciate that. That'd be their going out singlet. Do you want to specify that this is Vaughan?

A car meeting? How people get you confused. want to specify that this is Vaughan? A car meeting? Yeah. How people get you confused. Car club. Any threats to Vaughan Smith. I'm a West Aucklander. You're allowed to say this, are you?

Yeah, I'm from Morrisville. Now I live in West Auckland. This is my people. This is my bread and butter. Yep. That's actually a nice square meal for a burger too. Just white bread

with some butter. But you're like Brian Tarmachy. You're like, you're saying you want it in, but you're not. What does he say he's one of? Like a Christian or a homosexual? No. He looks more like a homosexual. That's nice of him.

Number one on the list of the top six ways to comfort a hurting bogan. It's time. It's time to crack open the emergency 8% Woodstock bourbon. That's right. It's time to crack open the emergency 8% Woodstock bourbon. That's right. It's time to crack a woody. You know that emergency glass? This is that emergency. Breakback glass.

Nothing heals a broken heart like the much-loved but oft hard-to-find 8%ers. Just dull the pain a little bit. Yeah. There would have been some sorrows drowned. Yeah. Saturday, wouldn't there?

And then play some darts. Yeah. Play some darts in the garage. Put it on the back of the garage door. But make sure you don't tell your mates. So when they come around, they might open the door just as you throw a dart. That's always pretty exciting. That's always pretty exciting stuff.

That is today's top six. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. If you're a frequent tea drinker from tea bags, you need to be a little bit aware of something. I drink tea all the time. I don't know how many cups I drink a day. That's because I don't have a lot of coffee.

Maybe like four a day on average. You'll get straight to work the first thing you do, tupper tea. Tupper tea for me. So a study's been done after someone sat down and ordered a cup of tea and they realised that, well, it appeared that the tea bag looked to be plastic. How much does it cost to get a cup of tea at a cafe? Well, generally you'd get like a jug.

A pot? Yeah, like a pot of tea. So it's usually like about two cups. Okay, how much does that cost you? I think it's $4.50. What is it? For a jug. But it's just a teabag.

It's just tea. No, it's not just a teabag at our establishment. Oh, is it? It's bougie tea leaves. Oh, okay. Special blends. Yeah, right. Because at home you'd probably just have a teabag.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, this person sat down and their tea bag appeared to be plastic. Now, I'm assuming it's those fancy like the mesh bags rather than like a tea bag. Because most of them are paper. But are they papery plastic? Don't know. Because how do they stop them disintegrating?

They've got to be some kind of synthetic. I've never thought about that. Because if you put paper in there... It just falls to bits. Oh, no. Something would have to be holding it together. They did a study where they took all the tea leaves out of the... Now, they haven't said what brands

because they don't want to throw the brands under the bus. So we don't know what brands this is, but multiple brands were done. They took all the tea leaves out and they put them in boiling water and they steeped them for a while. And then they did tests and found that a single bag

could release more than 11 billion microplastic and 3 billion nanoplastic particles that you won't be able to see with your own eyes, but you will then drink it. What happens to the nanoparticles? You drink it. Yeah, but what happens to you? Do you wee them out or do you poo them out?

Or do they just get stuck in you until one day you poop out a Lego brick because you've ingested enough microplastics? So people were inadvertently eating a lot of plastic and studies are being done now to kind of establish how plastic consumption can impact our health. Right.

But they did give fleas particles, you know, the water that had the particles in it, and they began acting erratically and developed some deformities. Fleas? Fleas. So we've found our way to get rid of fleas. Cats and dogs, give them little cups of tea. Yeah. That's what you've got from this study.

I'm always looking for a way to get rid of fleas. So I did this Wikipedia. T-Bank paper is related to paper found in milk and coffee filters. It's a blend of wood and vegetable fibres. The latter is bleached pulp, hemp and plantation banana grown for its fibre. Right. In the Philippines and Colombia.

So the paper ones are okay. They don't have plastic. Yes, but some bags have a heat sealable thermoplastic, such as a PVC or polypropylene. You don't want that. That's bad. As a component. Oh no.

But then also it does hit a lot of places in the UK that started removing plastic. So, yeah. Oh, that's okay. I've already drunk a million cups of tea. Thanks for removing it now. It's too late. But you're probably all right

because most of them feel like coffee filter paper, don't they? But just get, I think we should probably all move to like those tea leaves. I know it's annoying. Oh, you've got to clean up. You've got to, yeah. And you've got to use that scoopy thing where you scoop the tea leaves out and have it's annoying. You've got to clean up. You've got to use that scoopy thing where you scoop the tea leaves out

and have a single use cup of tea and then you've got to wash the leaves out of the meshy thing and it's so annoying. Hey, but it's lots of little... As Caitlin, producer Caitlin, you'd say it's a little change. You've got to make these little changes. Every little change helps and every person doing one little thing

rather than one person trying to do all of it is what's going to make the difference. How was your march on Friday? It was so good. I was like so pumped about it. It was so exciting because there were so many like all ages, all range of ages, because I was like, oh, it's just going to be students because that's what it was for. But then I saw all these older people standing on the side being like,

go students, well done. And that was really, yeah, exciting to see. Did you have the best sign? Who had the best sign? I did have the best sign, yep. Did people comment on your sign? I saw lots of people looking and so I'd like, and then I tried to get it in the cameras and stuff.

Right. Do you see the Green Party used the slogan? Lucky you didn't use that slogan I told you. About the coal? It's getting hot in here so take off all your coals. I did see that. Man, there were some good signs. A lot of Mike Hosking bashing I saw

on mine. Oh, yeah. A lot of it. It's just desserts, though. Yeah, I was going to say, his feelings were so hurt, he had to take the week off. I learnt some good chants. Oh, yeah.

Hey, hey, ho, ho, climate change has got to go. That was cool. Something about democracy. What does democracy look like? This is what democracy looks like. That's a classic. You can use that on any old walk down the street with a few people.

I like the beat of that one. It's quite jazzy. tell me what democracy yeah um and some other ones that i tried to get involved i couldn't understand what was the sign that i sent to the group chat the other day i can't read that one out can i oh there's some definitely not safe for work what's there yeah it was just so cool did you hear that there was 170 000 people in wellington and 80 000 people Oh, yeah, it was incredible to see. It's great. I'm so pumped for us to save the planet.

Trying to, a little bit. One step at a time. We can do it. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ooh. So, 85 days, 16 hours and 45 minutes until Christmas. Eh.

Eh. Eh. Eh. Um. No. We'll all wait. No, I was going to say something about Christmas shopping. I'm trying to start.

I'm not buying into getting involved in that this year. I know you to start. I'm not buying into getting involved in that this year. No. I know you're underway. No, but I spread out the costs over a long period because we get paid monthly. That's clever. And then all of a sudden you have one pay left. I prefer to do one like half-assed November pay. Yeah. And then like a real couple of panicky December pays. Yeah. Just really stress myself unnecessarily. And then put it on the credit card. Yeah. And then say, oh, we're just giving the kids one big thing to share this Christmas.

We agree on that. And then Sade's like, I'm going to buy them some little things. And I'm like, no. That wasn't the agreement. It was one small thing. And then she reminds me of how many Christmases you have with your children. And I'm like, buy them everything. Buy them and sell everything we have and buy them everything they need.

85 days away from Christmas. And Christmas penetration has really taken off. Ramped up. Ramped up. Over the weekend, Mark sent me in a photo and came, our first report of artificial Christmas trees for sale. Wow. $5 for an artificial Christmas tree.

Oh, that must be a mini. It must be a smallie. It must be a smallie, but it doesn't look a smallie. Do you ever in Kmart, are you like, how is this even a price? That's all I do

when I go to Kmart. I know. How did that get here for that? Yeah. Yeah. How did that, because there was no way it was made in New Zealand for that price. No.

Who's, what's, how? One stick of wood would be that price. Let me talk to someone in charge. I want to know the economies of scale of this. How is this possible? They'd be making a lot of everything. The other end of the Christmas bourgeois scale, Roy's been in touch.

Christmas Penetration, MacArthur Square, David Jones in Sydney. Oh, yeah. Quite a bourgeois-looking Christmas. The whole corner of the shops. The Christmas display. Yeah, David Jones is up. Yeah, a bourgeois Christmas corner.

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's nice stuff. That's a fancy. There's a penguin there. Often overlooked as a Christmas animal. Because there's no penguins in the North Pole and all of our Christmas, you know, reference comes from the North Pole. But you just think snow, ice.

Chuck a penguin in there. There's no penguins in the North Pole. No. No penguins in the North Pole. Well, then they shouldn't be in a Christmas setting. Why not? Well, they can celebrate Christmas, their people, too. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right, okay. That's 100% how I feel about this. It keeps rolling in and more and more reports of Christmas penetration internationally, too. Somebody said, full-on Christmas display

at the big candle store, which is called Roots, outside of Cleveland, Ohio. It was 32 degrees Celsius outside today. So weird seeing Christmas stuff in such hot weather. That's from Jason, one of our international... But that's not weird for us to associate Christmas with... With heat.

Yeah. No, no. And with global warming, we should all associate Christmas with heat. Yeah. Because that's what's going to happen. So Sam has messaged in. She says... I'll keep this on the DL. This came in last week, by the way.

Okay. So I've got some big news. The Bunnings store I work at got 25 pallets of Christmas lights today. 25 pallets? And another 25 pallets arrive tomorrow. They'll be on display by the end of the weekend. Wow. And I actually have reports

somebody sent in the giant inflatable set up that Bunnings have. So that's the second Bunnings that we've had reporting that. So they're rolling it out nationwide by the sounds of it. Yeah, that's being rolled out.

Let's pop down to Invercargill. Okay. Where Bed Bath & Beyond have a few Christmas items on display. Oh, okay. That's obviously falling into the beyond part of Bed Bath & Beyond. Invercargill getting into the Christmas spirit. And somebody was at the Guinness Brewery in Dublin and said they've,

and I was actually surprised by how intensely Christmas this was. Like, to get in, you've got to go through sort of a Christmas archway. Oh, yeah. Christmas trees on each side. That's much more of your late October, early November. Looks like you're going into Santa's grotto. Christmas, yes. But it's a pub.

Which for some people is Santa's grotto. It is, yeah. Get in there for an enjoyable one. So, with all that in mind. Mrs. Claus, my coat and hat, please. Christmas penetration is at 52%. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Hasn't it been a wonderful podcast so far?

And it's all thanks to Spark, our primary sponsor. Do you love free data? Then you will love the Spark data stack. More data every month that you stay. Hey, guys, let's get back into that podcast. But I wanted to talk about an incident that happened in my neighborhood yesterday. This literally happened down the street from where I live, and I am so upset I didn't see this.

I was not here. Oh, so you didn't see this. I was not here. Okay. Oh, so you didn't get to see it in person. What are those things that happens when you're out of town? Some excitement in the neighbourhood and I wasn't there to witness it. Right. Every single day when I walk to work or line to work, I go past this place. Okay.

If this had happened on a weekday morning, I would have stopped and had a good giggle. Because downtown in Auckland City, there is an Essex store. And so it's got the usual front window with the mannequins in it, with some running shoes and some active wear. And above it, two giant LCD television screens. Like showing running clips and stuff? Yeah, just like here. Is there a factor that LCD or the LED?

LED, LCD. I don't know. Okay, I don't know the quality of the screen. They've got lovely big crystal clear images. Yeah, it's just like, you know, shops have the big digital displays. Yeah. Well, somebody hacked those on Sunday morning

and from 8am until... Well, actually, no. One witness describes the display has been running from 8am until, well actually no, one witness describes the display has been running from 1am. 1am? 1am. Someone here, although it did appear to be up until they opened the store maybe at 10am. Pornography. The screen was hacked and porn was put onto the display.

Filth. That's naughty. So I don't know, like, how does that happen? Because when shops have a big display, is it just hooked up to the computer in the shop or something? Is it screen mirroring? Yeah. Is it something like that?

Yeah, because when I walked past today and I was like, oh, I wonder what's on the screen now if they've changed it back. It it something like that? Yeah. Because when I walked past today and I was like, oh, I wonder what's on the screen now if they've changed it back. It's just like a Dell logo. So Dell would be the computer that's plugged into it because Dell don't make those screens, do they? So they even turn it off. They've just like, it's just a Dell logo. Like when a screensaver comes on your desktop.

Yeah, right. It's just a Dell logo. And I was like, hmm. Wow. So did someone just stand there and like realise that they could mirror what was on their phone? Well, I don't know.

Or they could hack into the computer or maybe the Wi-Fi. They had to stay within KUI of the TV screen would they have still been in the area?

Do you know what I mean? My knowledge of hacking is just from the movies. So I'm imagining it was a mainframe computer or something. There's always a mainframe computer. A guy was in his parents' basement. Yeah.

Hacking. He's like, oh, the people in central Auckland will love this. Yeah. But yeah, apparently it was a security officer who witnessed the screening, said it was an explicit sex video, which ran for nearly two hours. Wham. How does he know? Did he see the report?

We must have had to. Yeah, he was probably like, well, I better take notes for the report. I need to see how long this goes on for. Yeah. But yeah, and then somebody else running by 1am said they saw it. So yeah. Running by at 1am. Yeah.

That's them. That's the person that did it. Who's running at 1am? Right. Who's running by? Maybe he's running for an Uber. I don't know. But, yeah.

And somebody else with their seven-year-old son. Oh, I was going to say, that's why it's naughty because kids and stuff could see that. Yeah. ASIC's head office has been approached for comment. They have not yet made one, according to the story. They're busy dealing with my inquiry. Yeah. Which is, do you still make those shoes that I had,

that I wanted another pair of exactly the same shoes, but they don't make them anymore? Yeah, they've got a small video, but they've pixelated it out, so it's not even worth having a video. I could show you where to find that unpixelated video. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Went to the gym yesterday. I was like, it'll be quiet because it's Sunday.

And it turns out everyone went on Sunday. So like, all of a sudden, Fitspo was going to start on Sunday. Probably because everyone was daylight savings. Yeah. Do you reckon up a bit early or? No, shouldn't you be sleeping in? Oh, yeah, true. Because the other way.

Yeah, see, that's what I thought. And then I went there and it was packed. It was full treadmills, you know? Full treadmills. Full treadmills. Yeah, because I always like to leave a buffer treadmill. Just, I don't know why. Yeah, it's weird because they're too close together, eh? Yeah. Always a buffer machine

regardless of what machine you're on. Yeah. It's like urinals, but you wouldn't understand that, Megan. You always have a buffer urinal. But you would leave a buffer cubicle, wouldn't you? Yeah, no But you would leave a buffer cubicle. Yeah, no, I do leave a buffer cubicle. If you had that, if you had the luxury of having a buffer cubicle, sometimes there's only two.

Do you ever go to the urinal and they're all empty and then someone comes up beside you? Are you like, what are you doing? It doesn't happen for real. No, it doesn't really happen, no. Oh, really? If it did, it would be weird. Yeah, it's an unspoken etiquette. Okay.

Yeah, so no room for a buffer treadmill, so I had to go right beside full treadmills. Okay. And I like to watch long episodes of TV shows so it makes me stay on there longer because then I get sidetracked. Yeah, that's a good plan. It's cardio one-on-one.

Yeah, yeah. But can you do that when you run? Because I've always found it's easier to watch shows when you're, like, cycling or cross-trainer. No, yeah. But can you do that when you run? Because I've always found it's easy to watch shows when you're like cycling or cross trainer. No, I can't run. But you watch it on your phone. Now you've got to have a dedicated, I take an iPad.

Oh really? I watch it on my phone. But I do the run fast walk. Like hit. I don't do like long runs. Nah. So that makes it easier. But I am watching Euphoria at the moment, which is long episodes. Yeah, I've seen the first two episodes. It's one of those shows I've started watching.

I'm like, I'll watch the rest sometime. Oh, I'm like, yeah, I'm hooked. You're hooked. I think I'm episode six or something now. Right. But I'd watched a couple at the gym. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. So I was watching it and I was gym. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay.

So I was watching it and I was like, oh, this is quite risque. There's like drug use and stuff. But I forgot that the producers had said that they were going to wrangle in as many penises as they could. Epic amounts of nudity, penis-based nudity. There's a penis in every episode. Yeah, they said we're going to have pain in every episode, which is quite groundbreaking,

especially for US TV. Yeah. Yeah. Now is it, I believe it's episode... It's HBO though, eh? Yeah. So it's cable,

so it's not free to air. Okay. So I watched episode two at the gym. Now, episode two is actually, we had an actual count, didn't we? There is 40, I'm going to say 43 or something.

Or maybe that's how many they wanted to have in the episode, but they cut it back a little bit. Penises in that episode. And so I was, like I said, full treadmills. 30 in one scene, it says here. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a locker room scene. And it's not as if,

so in a locker room scene, you think that the camera's just there and they're just like in the background or something and they just happen to be there, but there's close-ups too. So I'm on the treadmill, full treadmills, people either side of me

and there's 30 penises on my phone with close-ups and... That's good stuff. Yeah. Are they looking? I'm not sure. What are you supposed to, because I didn't want to like bring attention to it.

But then I was like, if there's anyone behind me as well, because there's the whole workout area behind me. I've had this on my phone. And they don't see what you're watching. They just choose to look at that time. All they think you're looking at is something very heavy on penis content.

And then I was like, I don't want to be, I was real conscious of my facials because I didn't want to be, I didn't know what to do with my face. How would you normally be? No, I don't know. If you're just watching and then you're like. She's running, she's like. But then I didn't know if I should be like oh no like

screw up my face yeah right because you don't want to look prudish and then I didn't want to fast forward because yeah because I didn't want to bring attention to it

to what you're touching like that might just be the moving finger that someone spins around that someone looks but this happens on planes because if you've been sitting on a plane

yeah and then like a scene will come on and you're just like oh no oh yeah screens betray you all the time yeah yeah it's like little sex scenes at the moment the show I'm watching been sitting on a plane and then like a scene will come on and you're just like oh no. Oh yeah, screens betray you all the time. Yeah, yeah.

It's like little sex scenes. At the moment, the show I'm watching, Man in the High Castle, is about what it would have been like if World War II had ended differently

and the Japanese and the Germans had won. Yeah. The Axis forces. Yeah. And it's like obviously the swastika

is their emblem of choice. Yeah, yeah. And I worry that I'm at the gym and someone's just going to look up and thinking I'm watching some like Nazi propaganda. Well, especially being like a white skinhead. Yeah, I've got...

Well, no, I'm not a skinhead. I shaved my head. That doesn't put me in the skinhead category. You're just bald white male. Yeah. And I'm training and I'm grunting and I'm sweating watching my Nazi films. It wouldn't be like that.

Like nudity, you're like, ugh, awkward. At least there's a reason why I'm sweating and grunting. And there's this big bit where they're inducting this guy into this new part and everyone's doing the salute and there's like the, I've got captions on. Yeah. Because sometimes when you're running, you might miss what's said. So you want the words there and it's like saying the thing

that they say when they do the salute and then there's all the swastikas on a massive iPad looking around being like and then you're scared on the treadmill

yeah it's dangerous stuff so I actually just found this out last night at dinner went out with some friends and my friend James he has a protector on his phone screen that's a privacy protector because he was like saying a protector on his phone screen that's a privacy protector

because he was like saying he was on his phone and he was like, oh, blah, blah. And I was like, just trying to have a peek at what he was looking at and talking about.

And his screen was black and I was like, is your phone off? Yeah, you can only see it from straight on. But you can only see it from straight on. So if you're on,

if you take the train or a plane or the bus all the time for work, that'd be perfect because you can't, literally can't see what's on their phone. What's the thickness of it though?

It looks real thick. Yeah. It just looks annoying. I wouldn't like it because I want as bright a screen as I can. Yeah, you just flip your phone over all the time. Yeah, just put your phone down or just go like this.

Lean back and do that creepy smile you do. Oh, there's nothing to see here. What creepies? Yeah, like six something in the morning. Really? What are you possibly doing at six? Sometimes it's just me looking at a meme. Leaning back so no one can see your phone.

I see. I can see what's reflecting off the window of your phone a lot of the time. I tell you, that's not meme. They are memes. Are they? There's words. Is that are memes. Are they? There's words. Is that what you call them now? Is that what the kids are calling it?

Some shocking news that I discovered at the weekend myself. Driving around New Plymouth, home for mum's birthday. She's got a gold card now, by the way. That's exciting. She's taking a bus to work today? No, but she does get free, in New Plymouth, you get free parking if you're old, between 9 and 11. In the morning?

She's old? Yeah. There's only a two-hour window to be old. Old people don't, no, because old people like to do shopping in the morning, don't they? They don't do shopping later on. Oh, yeah, because my mum always wants to miss the traffic. Your mum's got bloody work.

I know. She's not at 65 and chucked it all in. No, I know. But I'm just saying if she... You should be able to pick your hours. Oh, I know. This is... Yeah.

So anyway, you have to put a thing on your dash. You have to go to the council, get a laminated card and put it on your dash. Because dad's got one. What does it look like? Like you'd imagine it was laminated in the 80s or something. Like you'd imagine any small regional council laminator. Like you could literally make, quoting yourself, with a warehouse stationary laminator.

In my mind, it's yellow too. Is it yellow? White. Oh, okay. No expense bid. And the older people in my life, like I'm thinking of my grandparents and what my parents would soon be, hated anything that certified their age. Yeah, that's like I'm thinking of my grandparents and what my parents would soon be, hated anything that

certified their age. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like they'd hate having something on their dash that people would see and be like, they're old. Like it was an admission of needing help. My parents are just stoked to get a free couple of dollars. Right, okay.

Save a couple of bucks. Yeah, exactly. But that's not the shocking thing. So I was driving and you'll remember there was a, I don't know if you remember this from the last time we were in New Plymouth, but there was an old billboard of us advertising the show. I remember. Yeah.

I'm not sure whereabouts. So you'd be driving. You know that hotel we stayed at? Just before the air, you go past Girls High and there's a billboard there. Yeah. And it's been there for years, ever since we started the show pretty much. What's happened? It's in a high traffic area.

High traffic area. So high traffic they've put one of those new... Hasn't helped us, has it? No, well, no, it hasn't. Hasn't helped us at all. No. Well, driving past here the other day and mum said, look at this.

And someone who's running for local council has put their thing over us. A woman. Excuse me? A woman is running for local council has put their thing over us. A woman. Excuse me? A woman is running for council. I mean, that's the most shocking thing here. A woman. Who's going to do the cooking and cleaning?

I didn't mean it like that. You know that. A woman. This bloody woman. If it was a man, I would have said a man. So I didn't mean it like that. Okay. I actually just can't remember her name.

Some woman. Some woman who's running for council has put it over our sign. Our sign's not there. She's paid for it though. I don't even know. Are we paying for that? I don't even know if we were meant to be paid for our billboard there. Any radio billboard that lasts

longer than like a couple of weeks, just take it from us that what's happened is they've purchased that and then nobody else has purchased it afterwards and everyone's just too lazy to take it down.

Or whoever put it up there, the billboard of us just put it up there and didn't ask anyone. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, we've probably got

no rights at all and she's probably well with any rights to do it. In fact, she may have bought it. But we've been replaced by a counsellor. Does it cover all of us or is it just over like Vaughan's face?

No, it's all of us. It's been well covered too. Well, I hope she gets elected. So do I. It's the least. Yeah. But yeah, it's been proven that that billboard doesn't do a lot. So good luck.

It might be high traffic, but it's wildly ineffective. And you plummet that billboard spot. That's what we've learned. Wildly ineffective. Yeah. So good luck to her. Good luck to you. Probably should have plastered over some other sign.

Stacey Hitchcock. There you go. Yeah, that's it, Stacey. Somebody said I just saw that billboard. She looked lovely on the billboard. Oh, yeah, now you say that because we've named her some bloody woman. Somebody said they just drove past while we were describing that.

Yeah. They were driving past our one New Plymouth listener. Yeah. And they said they never knew we were on that billboard. Oh. But now that Stacey's on there, they're aware of the billboard. Now that Stacey's on there, they've seen the billboard. It's literally been up there for five years.

She's going to get into council, isn't she? What does she stand for? I don't know. So, Dangerous, think about these billboards. Yeah. You don't know what they stand for. You don't know. There's not enough that you can't work out, can you?

Because I've seen some people that are running for council. They're hand-painted. I'm like, I'm not going to elect someone that's hand-painting a billboard. I will because it shows they're willing to get grubby. They're willing to do it. It just shows they don't respect fonts is what it shows. They're making their own font. No, it's terrible.

I'm not electing anyone that hand-paints a billboard. I'm sorry. You're not in charge of my rates. My local body election envelope got wet. What do I do? The one that you're supposed to send it back in got wet. I think dry it out. Put it under the iron.

It's beyond that. Oh, put it in the panini press. It's beyond that. Give it a low heat on the panini press. No, no, no, no, no. It's buggered. Yes, panini press. Are you just trying to get out of boating?

No, no, no, no, no, no. That was how I was alluded to as sinus. I don't have a panini press. Do you have a panini press at the cafe? Yeah, you can use the panini press there. I'll bring it in tomorrow.

Bring it into the cafe. I'm only doing this to appease Mr. Panini Press. It's just like you to say panini press again. It's beyond saving. It was so wet. It was a panini press.

It was so wet. I picked it up and it fell. It like ripped. Oh my God. Thank God for panini presses. Yeah, you're just low heat on the panini press. It's not going to solve anything.

Is it going to make it into a paper mache? Are you going to lose your A food rating if you put a... Voting paper in a panini press? Put an orange voting on below? Flesh, fawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. TVNZ have banned hair straighteners. This is serious. And we know this after a memo was leaked to a news organisation

of a must-read memo that was sent out. So they emailed out all their staff? To all employees. Did you get this one? Yeah. Yeah, because are you on the TVNZ email? Yep. What gets sent around there?

Is it exciting stuff? No. No. Well, wait, so you read the TVNZ emails, but you don't read anything from here? I read them from here too. Bull. I do. Absolutely.

Oh, I do on my computer. I've taken them off my phone. Yeah, right. I don't have my phone, but I don't know how to get those ones on my computer. Right. I just can't be bothered asking. So, yeah. There's a stuff here about, this might be like sensitive.

Is this confidential? Yeah, maybe don't read out their internal emails. No, that one specifically not. There's just like coverage on the Rugby World Cup. Right. Like how their coverage of it's going. Just like any workplace. Yeah, you get the updates. Every Kevin

sends out an email every Friday. I don't know who he is. Hold on, I'll be able to tell you in a minute. Go to the bottom. He's the CEO. Good to know. Right. Okay. Update from Kevin. Every Friday, I'm like, knock it on the head, Kevin. Like,

I've never really read them. I assumed he was like telling us about how his kids' fundraising so there's chocolates for sale in the staff room or something. And that was the last time Vaughan was on, have you been paying attention? Kevin, right, I'm going to know this for next time. Bloody old kid. Do you know what he looks like?

Absolutely no idea. Imagine if you didn't know what your boss looked like. That would be weird, eh? Yeah. Well, I guess if it's a big enough organisation, Kevin's not going to be hanging around Vaughan every two seconds. He's got stuff to do. Oh, he's got way too much stuff to do. Right, so they email out all their stuff.

Why have they banned hair straighteners? It seems silly. So this memo's gone out, including to Vaughan because he's likely to bring a hair straightener to work. It says, as a live TV production environment, it's critical that we must minimise the risk associated with using electrical devices. As well as the risk to safety and property damage, the operational risk to our live productions is considerable.

You will all remember the sandwich press incident. Emoji. Was the sandwich press incident when somebody got their voting papers soggy and they tried to... Put it in a panini press. Yes, exactly why you shouldn't put your voting papers in a panini press. Brilliant. No, it was the... Set up the smoke alarm and Seven Sharp got evacuated.

Oh, right. Okay. Like a few months ago. So they said, yeah, hair straighteners must not be used on our premises. There's a special exemption for hair and makeup, that office. So because it could set something on fire or because it could cause a spike in the electricity?

A surge. Right. Because they suck a lot of power apparently. So during, you know, Rugby World Cup coverage, after the Rugby World Cup, are they going to allow

hair straighteners back? But also, is there an issue of people having them at their desk there? Because there's already a hair and makeup room. Yeah, does everyone have one in the drawer? Although, I have been known to bring my hair straightener in and plug it in down there.

Down on the floor of a... Is that going to surge the radio station? Yeah, maybe you shouldn't be doing that. Because remember that time we plugged a blender in and we got told off? That's right. That was at the old work. That was all rigged together a bit dodgy, wasn't it? Yeah, that was an old studio.

Because, yeah, that could have surged as well. I mean, I don't know how power works. So you're telling me a hair straightener uses enough power that next time my wife leaves one on, I could bill her. But if you leave them on, most of them now turn themselves off and put a little warning light on. Right. You need to get those ones for your wife.

I think she's got that one. Oh, she does have that one. Yeah, because I remember, didn't she burn a hole in... No, that was me. Oh, that was you. That was Megan that burned a hole in something.

Yeah, but your wife used to leave them on between the toilet buttons. She used to put them over the toilet and it was like playing a game of Operation but with your finger.

And it wasn't like red light, it was like finger sizzle. Third degree burns. Yeah. Just to flush the toilet. Well since you're not allowed to bring

hair straighteners into TVNZ anymore I'd love to hear if anyone's been told not to bring something into their workplace. Oh almost like what was banned do you think? Yeah right okay. Do you think what about like lunch dishes

that smell? 100%. Oh, yeah. But can you legally, can you say you're not allowed fish in the work microwave? You're not allowed to bring fish into work? Legally, but then you don't really want to be the person that everyone hates in the office. You should have to put your photo up on a wall. But also, if someone just pass-agged a note saying,

Please don't cook smelly fish in here. I'd probably bring something smelly just to roll them up. They're not the boss. They don't get to make those calls. They're not Kevin. They're not Kevin sending out the weekly email, who now I know what he looks like, and I've totally seen him before and just been like, hey, mate, I bet.

Right, okay, yeah. So – Between the main camp and camp. That's how I play all my CEOs. Okay, so 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. What was bad from your work? What were you told not to bring in? So there's been a memo that's gone around internally at TVNZ

saying please don't bring your hair straighteners into work. If you plug them in, it could cause a surge or something, something. Bad for live coverage. Can, like, cut the studio or something. Or something. We don't really know. Or it could even be, yeah, you could have something in your hair that... Psst. Sets off the smoke alarm.

Sets off the smoke alarm. Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. So we want to know from you what you've been told you can't bring into work. What's been banned from work. Raylene, good morning. Hi. Good morning. What were been told you can't bring into work, what's been banned from work. Raylene, good morning. Hi.

What were you told you weren't allowed to take to work? Puppies, of all cute things. What? Oh, allergies, right? Oh, no, we're not really sure. So we had a whole lot of new staff that seemed to be just getting new puppies and they were bringing them in occasionally just for a little bit, you know, a couple of hours there and there.

And, you know, it was good stress relief for a lot of us in the office, but no, an email went through Thursday last week to say no more animals in the office, that was it. I thought it was a well-known stress release and productivity increases seeing a puppy. Yeah.

Interesting, in our line of work too, they did add in a bit about if they were to be guide dogs Or stuff like that, particularly in our line of work That would be appropriate, but yeah Just to come and have a social play, it wasn't okay Because if there's dogs to play with You get all your work done quicker

Because you don't want to play with a dog They say that, but then I just end up on the floor Trying to get a good angle for an Instagram photo And that's not The worst part about people bringing their dogs to work is when you have to pretend someone's dog's cute. Yeah, because if they don't bring a cute dog, you

shouldn't be allowed. Since when do you pretend that anyone's dog is cute? Oh, not with your dog, because I know you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Hello, what do you think of this dog, Vaughan? I'm like, well, I mean, it's going to be riddled with breathing problems and probably won't live a long and healthy life. But what do you want me to say? Raylene, thank you for your call.

Could you look picture of health? Becky, I can breathe through my nose. I hate all the dogs for that. Look at me go. No, not them, the people that breathe them like that. Becky, good morning. What were you told you weren't allowed to bring to work? Hi, guys, how are you?

Good, good. So I used to work in a vet clinic and I was a vet nurse and we weren't allowed to bring to work? Hi, guys. How are you? Good, good. So I used to work in a vet clinic, and I was a vet nurse, and we weren't allowed to bring smelly food. So literally, like, you couldn't even bring, like, leftovers from, like, the night before. You literally had to have, like, toast. Oh. Someone was just upset with the microwave being used.

Oh, no. Like, the main boss lady was like, it smells. The vet clinic smells. And I was like, well, it smells like dog poo anyway. I was going to say, surely a reheated stir fry is going to be better than the smell of wet dog and cat poo. Yeah, exactly. And she was like, you're only allowed to eat non-smelly foods

and only toast and all that. But maybe she's got a point, because it could be confronting if you walk into a vet's and it smells like, you know, sweet and sour pork. It smells like they're eating the animals they can't take. Oh my gosh. Which is great use of an animal. Thanks you call Becky.

Also text messages. I got told to leave the flower bouquets at home. I always like flowers on my desk. It was causing hay fever and I wasn't to bring them in again. Oh yeah, okay. That would probably wind me up. I'm a courier. I've got a cage between the cab and the parcels and I'd bring my dog.

I was told I was no longer allowed to take my dog on the rounds with me. Oh, why? I don't know. Be a good company, wouldn't it? Yeah. Would have thought so. We got an email from the health and safety manager. We're not allowed to walk around the workplace with an uncovered vessel.

So any drinks, including like coffees or teas, have to be in a covered... Really? A covered vessel. So what? If you have a keep cup, that's okay. Yeah, because it's covered. Mugs.

No. Straight up mugs. Because what? Hot water could spill on someone. Hot liquid. Maybe, I don't know. We aren't allowed toilet brushes at our workplace. It's a health and safety issue.

We're going to lick them. The cleaner is the only one permitted to use a toilet brush. But that's not fair because you can't clean up your skids. That's awful for the cleaner. Oh, that poor cleaner, yeah. But then, I mean, we've got toilet brushes and people don't use those. I wasn't allowed to take my duck to work. A duck would be,

well, like a cute duck would be. Fair enough. Have you seen their poops? They're quite big. Yeah. Quite flimsy poops. But you'd pick up after them. That would be part of the deal.

Yeah, right. I was banned from bringing my ex to work. She was what was described in the email as the stroppy Italian. Oh my God, they actually sent an email. I was even lucky to have a job after she took on the boss's wife. That's good, though, isn't it? But that happened.

Fact of the day, day how the Swedish keep Russian submarines out of their sea. Out of their dedicated water space. Big nets. What do you call it? Airspace? International waters? Your water bit. Your Zion bits. Your water zone... Your water bit. Your zone.

Your sea. Your water bit. Your sea. Swedish. It's a my sea. That is my sea. Swedish seas. Okay.

So there is a society called the Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society. And to keep Russian submarines out of their water at the boundary of the Swedish sea. There is a large neon underwater sign. Nuts. Like open or kebabs. No, it says, welcome to Sweden. Gay since 1944. And they have a topless, sexy Swedish sailor.

No. No. No. No, no, no. It's an art vibe. They commissioned somebody to make it. You know it's legit. Wow. And it's in Russian.

It's down and it's a topless sailor. Yeah, right. He's a gay Swedish sailor. Yeah. How big is the sign? Oh, that only looks a couple of metres. It's not that big, is it? No, only looks a couple of metres. It's not that big, is it? No, it's a couple of metres.

Wow. Welcome to Sweden, Gay, since 1944. One thing we didn't see on the first photo I had of that, that shows his package. Oh, yeah, it's quite a package. He's in tighty-whities and there's a real something going on with the package there. So if you're in a submarine, is there a front driver's window,

like a cockpit? Oh, because the periscope goes up above the water, right? Yeah, so how do you... Because don't you just like... I don't know. Yeah, you mostly go on the power of sonar, right? But surely there's a camera, right? Because you'd just be...

There must be now. But there hasn't been a modern submarine movie, has there? I remember in the 90s as a kid, there were lots of submarines. There was a little bit of an influx of submarine movies. Hunt for Red October was probably the biggest one, but there are some ones, really. And a front window. I'm Googling.

There's submarines. No Navy submarines don't have windows or portholes so the crew can watch Undersea life Submarines Have only periscopes For outside vision And those are only used

Close to the surface Yeah because otherwise If you just pop them up You wouldn't be able to see So it's all on sonar What if you run into a rock That's pretty loose So you won't even be able

To see the sign Cameras Maybe the modern ones Have cameras Okay do submarines Have cameras Because that one That they sent down

The Marihana Trench, that had all cameras and stuff on the outside. Have external cameras. Military submarines travel underwater in an environment of total darkness with neither windows nor lights operating in stealth mode. They cannot use their active sonar systems to ping ahead for underwater hazards. They cannot use their active sonar systems to ping ahead. So they're just driving blind.

Yeah. And you wouldn't be able to use a camera because it'd be dark. That's why they don't have lights. That's why they go slow. So if there's something there, they just tap it. And they got all those maps. They got all the maps with like the sea depths and stuff so they know how to snake it down a trench.

Right. But I mean, there could be anything down that trench. They could bang into the Titanic. Good lord. Just... It'd be like when you back up in a supermarket car park and you're kind of half looking. And then you hear... And you're like...

That's enough? Wait. What if it's not? It's like forward... And you power off out of there with your submarine. There was a submarine movie last year I just googled movies about submarines There was one last year Gerard Butler was in it

And before you scoff too hard at that It looks like Gary Oldman was in it as well Gary Oldman is a fantastic actor IMDB Oh dear me, cost $40 million to make and only made $29 back. $36 on Rotten Tomatoes. But 93% of people who watched it liked it. So, yeah, right, okay.

Everyday people. Just you and me, they love it. Oh, I feel like you were distancing yourself from everyday people. You're like, bloody everyday people, eh? You can't trust them to give you an honest review of anything. So today's fact of the day is at the border of the Swedish Sea to keep

out the Russian submarines, there is a sign that says, welcome to Sweden, gay since 1944, and has a near-nude gay sailor on it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you remember when metrosexual

was like almost a derogative? Like 10 years ago. Like if you called someone a metrosexual was like almost a derogative? Like 10 years ago. Like if you called someone a metrosexual, it was a straight male who looked after themselves or had certain beauty procedures done. Yep. And now it's just every day.

Yeah, but it's just everybody, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much. Because I haven't even heard that word. I was reading this article. I hadn't even heard that word. I was reading this article. I hadn't even heard that word for so long. But there's been studies looked into not just men's beauty products. Yeah.

So that's just basically what we've been stealing off our partners for forever and a day. Like there's now specifically men-targeted ones. What's the difference? They just smell a bit more like sandalwood and whiskey. Maybe, yeah. And whiskey, but other than that, they're probably all exactly the same, right? And even men's makeup is becoming more of a thing now, isn't it? Yeah.

A lot of places doing that. I couldn't do that. Why? I just couldn't. It's not that I want to. I don't know how. I wouldn't know how. And also just, it doesn't worry me.

Yeah. As long as I don't have a monobrow and a hairy, I'm back. That's my two ticks. Yeah, you're happy. That's me putting in an effort. I always think of like, not that zits are a problem, but like you can conceal if you're like girls have concealed for ages. But I'm always like, why don't guys use concealer?

Just a little dot on top of it. Like if it's going to make you feel better about the big zit on your nose or whatever. Yeah. Hide it away. Yeah, sure. Put some concealer on it. No, they'll go for it. An age-old tested one, like a hot spoon, even though that's for mosquito bites.

I've had people been like, that hot spoon just burnt me. I was like, that's for mosquito bites. You know, if you get a mosquito bite, you get a really hot, you run a teaspoon under the hottest water you can handle. Yeah. And then just push it down. No, not like that. It doesn't burn, but it does the trick.

It takes the stuff. That sounds horrible. Yeah. But then people think it's for pimples, but it's not. Right. But so they also looked into the massive increase in male beauty regimes, things like the manscaping and the various boyzillions or brozillions. Yep.

As they're called, men having their hair removed from certain areas. Their butt holes. Yep. Even the brows. People getting their brows done, mate. Yeah.

Well, I get the brow. Every when I go and get that, well, I used to get my back waxed, but I'm in the process of the laser treatment. Yeah, now. I've had two. I've got another one at the end of this week, actually.

Oh, okay. With the new girl? The new person? Yeah, how is she? She's lovely. We go to the same person. It's just hard when you... We had to show our things to a whole new person.

I know. You get used to showing it to one person, and then there's a new one, and you're like, oh, okay. How's this going to go? She wouldn't be judgmental. They're very professional. Well, no, they're very professional. Yeah, they're very professional.

But is she at all referenced? that she's, like, nice? No, no. Neither. Just plain conversation. Just plain conversation. Straight out of the middle. I bet they get told not to reference that at all. It is weird to have...

Because you're having a normal conversation with them about something. Yeah. And then you forget that they aren't looking at your face. They're just straight at your bum. No. Well, how do you find it when you did your lasering? Yeah, I'm fine with it because, yeah, you have conversation and you forget that their hands are there.

Yeah. But my last one, remember at the end of it, she used to always pat? Pat the area when she was talking to me? That's right. Right, so no sun, no exercise. I don't think she realises she's patting it. Yeah, okay.

Well, she might have been giving it a bit of a well done. But I didn't mind. Yeah, right. She'd already been all over. So apparently below, I'll take it from here, Megan. You're struggling over there about the lady. Touching your nether regions. Giving your nether regions a pat, pat, well done.

Like you do to a dog when it brings the ball back. Okay. The below neck hair removal treatments, like laser, like the waxing and everything, taking over from men who were either not doing it at all or traditionally shaving it at home. Oh, right. Okay. Hair removal was the second most popular male treatment last year after a haircut. Right. Wow.

Well, that's you. So you get the haircut and the hair removed. Yeah. I know. Except I don't get a haircut. But I fall into the third most, which is shaving and beard trimming. Oh, yeah. Because a lot of those places have popped up now. Yeah. So many barbers. So many. So many barbers now for the

beard treatments. And even they just do haircuts and stuff. It's a bit of a return to that sort of thing. So many. So many barbers now for the bed treatments. And even they just do haircuts and stuff. It's a bit of a return to that sort of thing. So they said, yeah, the stigma of it's kind of gone. I'm all for a guy looking after himself. Well, it's like I've always said you can't expect your partner to maintain the garden over the fence. Yours is a shambles. Yeah, and you've got an a shambles. Yeah,

and you've got an old car on bricks. Yeah, but you're like, bloody neighbours haven't mowed their lawn for a while. On the berm.

Yeah. Old car on your berm. Yeah. Your wife's got a lovely back section. Got a couple of dead spots from where the petrol's hit the grass

and there's just a burnt spot there. Lots of weeds and clover. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love to fart

and much clover. A goat chained up somewhere down there. Trying to keep it down, but the goat's given up. It's living on a tether. It's not having a good time. Yeah. It's just... It's a bizarre analogy of your pubes.

Really is. It was pretty wild. Yeah. It was pretty wild. But I pictured it as an actual garden while we were saying it. Yeah, right. Okay. So, yeah, just gents, get out there.

Do it. Get it ripped out., get out there. Do it. Get it ripped out, lays it off, removed. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. There might be a little bit of competition running for the world's longest hydroslide. But it's not a hydroslide in its purest form because you have to sit on an inflatable tube to go down it. But it is a water park. It's still a hydroslide in its purest form because you have to sit on an inflatable tube to go down it, but it is a water park.

It's still a hydroslide. What's your problem with that? A hydroslide just needs to slide with water, right? I might know, but to me, a hydroslide, that's more of a ride. A hydroslide's got to be you sliding on a mat at the most. No, but I don't mind. I'd rather slide on a big inflatable tube. It's more fun.

You go faster. The butt of my togs caught up. Or if you're going front ways. A mat's the best. You can superman a mat. Go on a mat and you superman it. You could probably go on these tubes actually you could superman it but it's a two man, two person ride.

Okay. You probably just have to go by yourself. So this is in Malaysia. You have to catch a chairlift to the top. Oh, that's good. Because you know how you have to do stairs? Yeah, and you get cold. Yeah.

And then by the time you've done three rides, you're like, oh, I'm naked. I'm done, yeah. It was the worst part about hydro-sliding as a kid, but looking back on it, it was so good. Yeah. Exercise. Because you always had like three ice creams that day and you always had fish and chips or some sort of picnic thing

and you'd eat heaps and heaps. And if you didn't do all that running, it would have been worse. But this goes through a Malaysian rainforest. Should we have put a hydroslide through a rainforest? Yeah, that would be my question too, but it looks fairly non-intrusive. Okay. It doesn't look like really bad. 3,645 feet in metres is 1.1 kilometres. That's what I love because the thing that you hate about hydrocytes is over just as you get going, isn't it?

Yes. Most of them. But then, like, do you want to be going down a Malaysian rainforest hydrocyte and snakes and what if stuff drops in there from the trees above? Imagine if a snake just drops in and you're like, ah! It stuff drops in there from the trees above? Imagine if a snake just drops in and you're like, ah! It does go under and amongst the trees. You could totally end up with a snake in there. Or a monkey.

But that is one of the world's longest hydro slides. I read about one in China. Now, I believe it would be longer, but it looks more like you sit inside. These things were those inflatable rings, but in the shape of an eight. Oh, okay. So two kind of joined together. But this one in China was a slightly bigger vessel. Yeah. And it was, they'd just dammed.

They'd created a new dam. Oh, yeah. And it was part of the water let off for the dam. Oh, okay. You would go up. And so it's got its main way of letting the water out. Yeah. But other than that, they could open this little

channel and it would stream the water out from the dam. So you could go at the constant trickle of a hydroslide, but if you knew someone maybe in the power, in the position of power, you could probably really juice up the amount of water going down the hydroslide and get down there so much faster.

How long was that one in China? I'm just googling the exact length of it because it was really long. There's a 4,000-foot glass-bottom water slide in China. Glass-bottom? But that's more like you ride in an actual boat of it. But the one in China, it's longer than the one in Malaysia. Because I'm just reading the one in Malaysia lasts four minutes. And it's just over a K, so four minutes, 250 metres a minute.

That's not super quick, is it? You're just doing some physics. Just doing some foot maths. Because I like my hydroslides fast. I like to hit a corner and not know whether or not you're about to be chucked out into the jungle in this case. Or break your neck on the corner. Yeah. Sure.

We can only hope. Some sort of dangerous souped up hydroslide. Yeah. Well, there's that one in America. What do they call it? The class action water park? Or there's a little documentary on YouTube. Yes.

And it had like a hydra slide that went round in a loop and all these like dangerous hydra slides and they got shut down. You had to sign your life away to go on them either way. Yeah, you had to sign away. There's like a doco on YouTube about it.

Yeah. Just keep going. I don't think I want to go on anything that I have to like sign my life away beforehand. No, it's an indicator Yeah It's an indicator

You best not to